#certainly not helping the whole 'feeling like i've lost all control' thing

[soysaucevictim]

My sleep/energy has been extremely fucked at this point... :/

[puppyxaegon]

Yours, pt. 1 Captor!Ramsay Bolton x GN reader

Okay, realizing I teased this fic like A MONTH ago and just left yall hanging so I do apologize for that,,,anyways this was another of those situations where I start writing HCs but I get overly invested and filled with ideas so I want to make it a fic but then I get overwhelmed and overthink and excessively scrutinize and end up just putting it off. The neverending cycle as it were. But I've decided to take some pressure of myself and just make this a short part one/teaser! So here you go, please enjoy and leave feedback if you like!

Tags/warnings: SFW, Captivity, memory loss, mention of drug use

As you awake, the first thing you feel is discomfort. You’re groggy and vaguely stiff and sore all over. Your mouth feels dry and stuck together, and crust around your eyes begins to sting as you come into awareness. Everything is oddly fuzzy, muffled or blunted somehow and your whole body hums with a kind of numbness you can only associate with a limb that’s fallen asleep and lost most of its sensation. ‘A dream’, you think. Every breath feels like a concerted effort.

It doesn’t take long after you open your eyes though to take in your surroundings in the fairly well lit room. You use all the strength you can muster to lift your head enough to look around. You feel your stomach cramping with the effort as you shake slightly, but the pain is far away. The room seems empty, barren of furniture or any semblance of décor. The grimy concrete floor combines perfectly with the stone walls, weakly buzzing lightbulb that hangs from the ceiling, and the rickety wooding staircase ascending into nowhere to create the stereotypical image of a ‘creepy kidnapper basement’. It was something straight out of a trashy torture porn exploitation film. The thought made you chuckle, but you were faintly aware that the sound was more of a dry grunt.

 As you move to sit up further, you feel your right arm weighed down by what you turn and see is a cuff and heavy chain, no longer than a foot and attached to a disused radiator. As you trace the links with your gaze, you notice what you’re sitting on, a lumpy and yellowed mattress which had certainly seen better days. ‘This is too fucking good’, you think to yourself. You’re well used to strange and foreboding dreams, but this one feels a bit on the nose. You want to laugh again, but recognize the feeling of your mind becoming more and more withdrawn from your body and lacking control of its functions.

You feel yourself lay back, suddenly uninterested in the previous line of thinking. Your head was beginning to spin, and the pain in your stomach threatens to break through the delirium. All you want to do is sleep, but aren’t you already asleep? The quietly growing pain is what makes you question your state of consciousness because as far as you can remember, dreams were not supposed to feel this sharp.

As you recede into exhaustion, your vision dims and your mind attempts to reach out past the island of your thoughts in the moment.

Where was I before this?

What had I told Alys before I left her?

Who was the man with the dog?

You can’t answer any of these questions for yourself or make out exactly what they mean. You fall back into what should be sleep, but are assailed by images, vignettes, fragments of some story or memory that nags at you.

Alys’ copper hair catching the glow of the streetlight and her radiant smile that evaded the appreciation of the man who’d wrapped himself around her.

“GO, have fun! I’ll be fine, its beautiful out anyway, I could use a walk.”

The night which got so dark and so quiet more quickly than you expected when it’d felt like you just left the concert. As if the world had simply fallen away from you.

The park bench where you lay, staring up at the stars and ignoring the cavernous pain in your chest and the urge to cough as you inhaled again from the device Alys had left you with.

“She’s friendly, help yourself.” The voice of the man shrouded in darkness which carried an odd tone as you found yourself kneeling and reaching out to pet a huge back dog, with floppy ears and some of the biggest eyes you’d ever seen.

“You know, It’s not a good night to be out here all alone.”

A cruel stare.

Rough hands.

A sharp pain at the back of your head.

And then nothing.

No more memories, no more thoughts, no more images.

Nothing but the bitter, coppery taste in your mouth as the last of your consciousness winked out of existence.

[noisester]

He's been sitting in his office and staring at a portable mirror for an eternity. Posters of the staggering amount of programs he's managed to get involved in cluttered up the walls around him. That was... A lot. Even by rat bastard standards, that was a lot! Shame he can't be fully in peace knowing the snake didn't pop out of existence in the end, but hey. Despite it all, he could confidently say the Fake Noise kerfuffle was reaching its conclusion. Noisette already mentioned she needed to head out to fix her café, so he was positive she wasn't gonna get abducted by the horrors anytime soon GABYYYYYYY WHEN I GET YOU GABY--.

Honestly? It was a good opportunity to process the events and take a breather. NTV was still hanging by a thin thread, but he wasn't too worried about it. Nuh uh. He wouldn't say it aloud, but... The burnout finally caught up to him. He did do the bare minimum of uh. Quietly toiling away at a control panel to broadcast his little update message and have his channel do re-runs. His audience probably wasn't starving for fresh content and must've gotten overstimulated after all of that chaos, anyway. Weird thing to acknowledge given the projects Noise usually creates.

"I'm nothing like that fraud." He reassures himself while still looking back at the mirror, "I don't run my shows out of desperation; I've got a life outside the industry! 'The Noise' is just a TV thing! Yeah--... Just a TV thing."

He tries to stay in a comfortable position by leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head, but his forced smug grin states otherwise.

"What more could a guy ask for, woag? I run NTV, I have a lovely girlfriend, I make Peppidiot suffer when I feel like it........... I run NTV."

Another long minute of deafening silence. He took his hat off and leaned further into his chair to shake off that lump in his mind, but instead ended up getting lost in his thoughts again...

Who was Theodore? A man of many traits and qualities who loves his job, plainly. Simple. One-note. Presumably got involved in an unknown incident at work. Woke up to Bossman giving him a helping hand and asking him questions after losing consciousness. Even when months had passed, he could still somewhat feel that ache on his head haunting him... Okay, I got bonked there, but by what..?

"...Would it make that much of a difference? To have my memories back?" What could he gain from this? Awareness? Respect? Acknowledging things he probably didn't need to? Sating the missus with information he couldn't provide back when they were getting to know each other? There's noticeably a large mallet standing in the corner of the room. You know, that iconic gag in movies that would either magically bear fruit or further reset your brain after getting bashed with it. Well, considering the amount of times he got comically thwacked with a broom to no avail... That wasn't an option.

Part of him wondered if he could piss off the writers by cheating and directly asking Noise Emptyzone about his backstory for hints, but alas, his head might be an empty zone in itself as well. Ugh.

"My life is great as is. I've got everything I want! Sure, it'd be nice to have some context, but." But it might not be worth it, would it? Besides, amnesia backstories are super rad when you think about it! You get to stand out from the crowd while they all stare at you weird! Not that he cares about how others perceive him, it's just a nice thing to consider when toying with people is your whole schtick. Yeah, yeah.

"What if I'm being overdramatic and my amnesia was a blessing a disguise? Huh? What if I'm just a guy with a nothingburger past? What then??"

"Nooooiiiise, buddy, chum, pal! It's not in your nature to ask this many questions at once. What gives?"

...

One of the posters on his walls replied.

Noise didn't have the guts to turn to face the intruder. Or is it an intruder? Was he imagining a voice in his head? Which belonged to THAT clown, precisely? It certainly wasn't another bluetooth joke from Mr. Emptyzone. Even if it was, he wouldn't be mimicking the voice of his boss and... Watch him from the sidelines like that. Yeesh.

"Goddamnit," He finally mutters, "Did the bomb summon you??? We went over th"

"Ohhhhh, no no no! Quite the opposite, in fact! Your little trick proved me you didn't lose your edge!"

"..."

"...Okay, I DID regret hiring you." Comical pause, followed by a wide smile and a shrug A smile big and wide. A smile very big and wide, "But what can silly ole me say? It's a move that did wonders at its time! Heehoo!"

Noise remained uncharacteristically speechless. He didn't show any sign of hostility, nor did he bite back at his dumbass boss finding amusement in all of this. The poster was quick to notice that before rolling its eyes.

"Tongue-tied, eh? Oh well, keep annoying that sweaty Italian, Noise. It'll only benefit the both of us. Good luck with your career! And remember: don't ask questions, have fun with it! Toodle-oo!"

And with that, the illustration within the poster went back to its previous pose, ceasing to animate.

...

He's fine.

[valkyrie1366669]

Trigger warning: mentions of abortion, cannibalism, miscarriages, product or rape, rape, childhood rape.

Snippet of chapter 6 A Bard's Tale of a White Bat, the Scarred Bear, and a Rabid Red Fox

"Conquer your endgame you mean?" Gale scoffs. Still sour about everything.

The redhead scoffs. She's had it with his smart mouth. Fine, he wants to comment about her sharp tongue. Let him have it. "It must be so easy from your perspective, Mr. Dekarious." She starts before glaring at the human wizard. "A hypocrite in the making about what's wrong and right. Blinded by the crown's potential power. Gale’s folly right? I respect you, as well as everyone else here. But I’ll not be watching my back for you to change your opinion of me. I'll simply take care of it personally like the rabid animal youse think I am- if you attempt anything. You saw what I did to Alfira, Gale. What do you think I can do to you? I had warned all of you that were present that morning."

"You didn't..." Shadowheart starts but she cuts her off. Her eyes flashed gold briefly as she was pissed. It was taking everything not to rip her tongue out.

"FECKIN' HELLS I DIDN'T! I told all of youse I was fighting a darkness in me and couldn't control myself! I WAS BEGGING FOR HELP AND GOT NOTHING!!!! It was all shrugged off. That was with me injured and tied up for the rest of the night. I lost count of how many hours I’ve spent listening to everyone's problems and want to help each of you. I nearly killed Astarion out of the simple choice of letting Isobel live. That’s how Bhaal works with his children.” She starts to speak more with her hands a bit and speech gets a little faster. Her anger was even causing some thorns to grow. Jahiera and Halsin use their magic to keep the foliage at bay.

Minthara’s head tilts a little. “Then speak, half-fairy. Whereas I find this side of you magnificent. Clarify for the childish minds.”

“We’re not acting childish.” Gale narrows his eyes at the Drow noble.

“Your tone says otherwise, wizard. You’re blindly pushing something out of your control. I met Orin. Trust me when I say Gwynnistri is more sane and trying not to kill you where you stand. I certainly would have ended you for your insubordination. So let her speak as you and the others put her on the stand.”

While Minthara spoke, the Bhaalspawn Druid had been trying to breathe. Tempting to cool her urges that were just along the edge. As they were getting closer to the edge of no control. “There is nae a day or night I worry I'll kill someone here. My head pounds and my body aches every time I resist it. Feels like hot pokers prodding my body all the time. Pain from my muscles ache from the first to last light, and I feel numb most days. I still occasionally throw up blood from that Myrkul cleric rearranging my organs and not eating properly. Kept awake from not just the parasite, but dreams of red- probably a sliver of what I've done." She chuckles at the end.

“Forgive me if I’m doubtful, but every Baldurian knows your kind. You are still Bhaal’s favorite. Even Gortash said that. Or perhaps how do we know you aren’t the shape changer.” Wyll comments.

‘The noble and blindly honorable ones are always the most annoying. He was still young.’ The Blood Druidess smirks. “Ye really want to go down this route lad? Because I’d advise you not to tempt it. Drop the attitude of seeing things black and white for the moment.” Her whole face darkened as she confessed a dark truth.

Gale scoffs. “We deserve the truth as you hid it. You are deflecting the situation.”

The urge to kill her two companions was getting difficult to control. Her dominant hand twitched to break Wyll’s horns and impale him with it. Cause Gale’s body to explode by making his blood explosive and lethal. “You’re his heir to his bloody throne.”

After the Blade of Frontiers remark, Gwynnistri palm strikes Wyll and Gale hard. Causing their noses to break as a warning to be quiet. “Me and twin brother were the result of rape. Bhaal had used my father’s form to make me ‘pedigree stock’ for his experiment. A Bhaalspawn raised outside his temple and raised outside of it. Fancy isn’t it?” She then uses her blood magic to heal Wyll as her anger gets the better of her.

Wyll still had a hand over his nose until he was healed. “Gwynn I..”

“Oh, now you’re sorry. Funny how I didn’t push any of you to mention your past. But I guess that was asking too much.” She laughs at it. Mostly from being emotionally drained and a little of her madness getting to her. Their bantering was edging her urges.

“But the worst of it wasn’t the gore, cannibalism, or murder, monster slayer. It was hearing those girls’ screams. It’s haunted me as I could hardly do anythin’ about it. I don’t remember all of it, but I remember a man cutting a lass up as he couldn’t fit. Even I had limits despite that picture of me you’re painting. For a brief time, I did try from a young age to please father dearest. It was a requirement among some he deemed worthy. All of my children were born dead or heavily deformed. One had skin like stone and another with half a brain. Not surprising as I poisoned myself often then to get rid of the parasite growing in me. I was no older than you were when you made the pact with Mizora when I had my first.”

Despite what the Druidess was confessing and the horrid looks on her companions' faces, she clearly accepted that a long time ago when she made sense of it. Hard to say how long she had known about it. Her partners didn’t know all of that either. Parts but not to that vivid detail as they didn’t want to pressure her into it. Though Jaheira has never personally met a female Bhaalspawn, the history was not foreign to her in that way.

“I killed and aborted so many of Bhaal’s children. Just so the mother would live. Or even a young lad tired of being used. I always got a whipping as I used my Druidic teachings to terminate the babes. Imagine seeing so many children and teenagers being parents. They asked for release as death was better than living. I still have those thoughts every once in awhile even when I’m happy. Incestial rape was more common than anything. I even ate my own babe’s corpses at times when they were no bigger than the pommel of your rapier. All to keep my rouse of keeping them safe as much as I could and when I was around. I was one of the few lucky ones as I killed anyone who tried or if I saw it. My job was to cull the weak, and those people are always my favorite prey.”

"Gwynn I..." Karlach tried to apologize, but instead got a cold glare. Unusual from the redhead as she was usually warm and soft-spoken with Karlach. "I'm sorry... I didn't know. I wish I realized it ahead of time." Her face seemed mournful for her friend as she knew the tales her parents would say about Bhaalspawn whenever she wasn't behaving well. How if she misbehaved enough, one would come after her. Funny how things worked out. Now apparently a Bhaalspawn is one of her closest friends.

The redhead sighs at her Tiefling friend. "As nice as that sounds; sorry doesn't change me fate, Karlach. If it’s not the Parasite that gets me, Bhaal will. You've chosen how youse want to go out on your terms. I have mine in case." She rubs her temple with her fingers to ease the mental spike in her head. “Enjoy your blueprints.” She was going to test everyone’s blood for a doppelganger. But she needed to have a moment or rest of the evening to herself.

[meanscarletdeceiver]

Sodor Work History: James Edition

Ugh, it seems to have vanished?? But I had an anon request a James equivalent to my Edward work history post. Of course now that I'm done writing I can't find the ask… #ThanksTumblr… Anyway here goes:

I'd like to! But James is tricky...

The thing with James is, we seem to have a bunch of data points throughout the books on his doings. But there's so much we don't know about the main line working and how many "unseen" engines share the work with our main characters. Like, all the branch line characters are easier to at least assemble pieces into a rough border because there are more constraints there. The main line has too many unknowns. There is a similar problem to sketching out Henry's timetables, but at least with Henry—like with all the other MCs—we know of at least one thing that he is known to do regularly. We don't have a touchstone for James.

Broadly, though, here are a few things I notice (and/or just streeeeeetch to conclude in a fever dream) about James's Sodor career:

He spent a little while there as the closest damn thing Tidmouth had to a station pilot. I feel like this gets completely overlooked. After the bootlace incident he's benched from passenger work, of course, but in addition to goods work he is doing a lot of coach-fetching at the big station. Troublesome Engines says that he continued being the "odd jobs" fellow for a while until he started to rebel. He would never have been full-time—unlike, say, Thomas. Thomas, I'm sure, would have been transferred to Tidmouth when HQ moved and continued there if not for his branch line assignment. But, unlike Thomas, James is trusted to take trains out of the station. But in between those trains he was largely stuck with the shunting. (In "Troublesome Trucks" his tricky goods train appears to go as far as Maron or Cronk? Not traversing the whole line, not yet.) Troublesome Engines says of course that Gordon and Henry had to step up, and also that Edward helped when he was available, but I think it's pretty obvious who was a) actually a Tidmouth engine and b) the newest Tidmouth engine and c) the smallest Tidmouth engine. (To add to this brief period in James's life, I note that the train that pushes him down the hill at the end of TTTE might well be—da dum da dum!—the same train that Thomas lost control of in the previous story. How's that for literary repetition, eh? Anyway, point being, James might have been expected to fill in Thomas's old role on the NWR from the very start.)

During Thomas and Bertie's chase, James is seen in an illustration with a goods train on Thomas's line! Now you can explain away one random illustration if you want, but it does make a lot of sense that in 1948 Thomas might need help running goods on his line—this would have been after the useful working lives of the Coffee Pots, but before Toby (and way before Percy) join the line. So yeah, until Toby's arrival James might have pitched in on Thomas's line fairly often. It's a nice detail. It might have gone all the way back to the '20s or whatever. Certainly James would have been grateful to Thomas for rescuing him so he was probably happy to do it... at least for a while...

Let's talk main line stopping trains. I have a bit of a headcanon here, though it's built on the slenderest of canonical reeds which is why I'm not calling this bit an analysis. We see James with a lot of these stopping trains but in my personal canon I've decided that all such trains we see him on in this era ("Dirty Objects," "Old Iron," "A Close Shave," and maybe "Henry's Sneeze") are 'the Limited,' which I take it is a semi-fast that stops only at major stations (places like Knapford, Wellsworth, Cronk—maybe Crovan's Gate though that seems to leave CG, like, absurdly well-served). No all-stops for James, thank you! Well, occasionally he gets stuck with one but usually that's beneath him.

Sadly for him, throughout most of the '50s goods are clearly not beneath him. If I am right that in passenger work he specializes on the semi-fast, he has no such luck in goods work. "Dirty Objects" has that wonderful description making it clear how much James hates slow good trains but I suspect those are his bread and butter for years to come. Certainly he's in the midst of another such assignment a year later in "Old Iron"—and in that story it is also made clear that, not only does he have to stop at each station to pick up or drop off trucks, at most of these stops he has to do his own shunting. This sounds like it probably takes most of his damn day. The day described in "Dirty Objects" of one morning passenger service followed by one of these endless slogs is probably pretty typical for James in this era.

In the early '50s at least, this routine gets broken up—occasionally—only when there is a need to cover the Express. The '50s were a good decade for it, as, in addition to Gordon's regular need for "rest" or maintenance, James also gets to score big with Gordon's unplanned trip to London and Gordon's lengthy punishment following the Ditch Incident. Jackpot, baby!

[Time-Sensitive Alert: There Is A Tram Engine Blocking Your Line]

I assume all James's appearances at the junction with the narrow-gauge gang are when he's taking an Express. Or maybe some sort of Limited? But it's... fairly consistent that Tidmouth engines are not just randomly on the eastern end of the line unless they're taking some sort of major train—I presume that any of the humdrum 'Locals' on the eastern side are taken care of by Vicarstown engines.

The '50s are when we get the most complete picture of James's working days. I reckon it changed, however, towards the end of the decade. Along with the other 'eight,' our boy's fame is on the rise throughout the decade and I think James effectively parlayed this into doing more passenger work, taking advantage of what was surely a rise in tourism to the island. At some point James is merely picking up the slack when it comes to heavy goods—and then. Then! Donald arrives. Bringing a twin with him! I tend to think at this point James was pretty much relieved from the goods work he had hated for so long completely... for, like, a month or two. Then Donald had to be repaired after his totally-accidental signalbox adventure and TFC observes ruefully that "James will have to help with the goods work... he won't like that!" Surely not, but I think the thing was, when TFC got an unexpected 2-for-1, James was immediately released from that stuff. God, no wonder that by the final story he was so keen for both twins to stay on! For that matter, I also reckon that James was usually tapped for snow-removal duty during winters before the Caledonians came. Really they were a godsend to him in his effort to rise above his station. Ye're welcome, laddie.

Seriously. For the rest of the Wilbert Awdry books, I can't find another instance of James doing goods work. *shrugs casually* Now, Awdry was also giving James far less screen time at this point so you can say definitely say there's not enough data to draw meaningful conclusions. I however prefer to think it was no coincidence but rather a logical effect of recruiting Duck, the Caledonians, and the diesels of the '60s. It makes sense. Heavy goods would have only been getting heavier. Not that it was impossible for James to keep up, but if you have some modern diesels and two Scottish goods engines who love to work together as much as possible then, you know. Why keep forcing James into that role?

I admit that Christopher Awdry fucks up this trajectory. Sigh. Sometimes he is soooo thoughtful about his timetable choices but other times I think he just defaults to some of the most obvious franchise tropes the same way a TVS writer would. It's maddening.

Anyway yeah, I concede that as soon as we see James again in '84 he's taking goods. He's also complaining about having to shunt his train, saying that this should be Donald or Douglas's kind of work, but the twins were both called away to help on Edward's branch line on that particular day so the field is open for James to have his karmic story ("Crossed Lines"). Now you could make a plausible case that what James says when he's grumbling is not to be trusted as gospel truth and that he's exaggerating the degree to which this is now true but I'm inclined to take it at face value.

At any rate, for all the rest of the series, James is seen (when he is seen) taking passenger trains, including at least one turn on the Express in '92/'93, except on a few occasions:

1. Filling in while Henry is in overhaul on the Flying Kipper

2. Working some sort of special job repairing rails along with Donald and Douglas in the final book. Notably he expresses on the last day (well, the "last" day, or so they all thought) that he's looking forward to it being done so he can hopefully go back to passenger trains, but he is remarkably chill throughout the whole story and causes zero (0) drama at all. And you thought Gordon was supposed to be the only RWS character to show growth. Mwahaha!

In short, I suppose when you add in the Christopher Awdry era (you know. if we want to) then it's no longer clear whether James is really doing goods work and odd jobs significantly less or whether he's just bitching about it less. I'm inclined to think Both, however: He's called upon for it less often than in the pre-Caledonian invasion days and therefore he doesn't chafe and bitch nearly about it as much when he is.

Much like we let TVS confirm/fill in the gist of Edward's latter-day career, I feel like we can take similar cues for James. I'm thinking here mostly of the Brenner era, especially *drumroll please* "SOMEBODY HAS TO BE THE FAAAAVOURITE!" vibes. Well, I'm not so sure James is really going around singing his smokebox off (... though it's cute ngl...) but I do think it's true that he is, in general, picking up a steady enough supply of "good" jobs that his ego is pretty well fed. Which is honestly a much better way to manage James than to try desperately to teach him humility, if you ask me.

I'm not sure how useful a proposed timeline will be but it seemed to be some people's favorite part of the last such post I did so I'll give it a try.

1925 — goods trial, first day cow-field crash

1925 — overhaul

1925 — passenger trial, bootlace incident

1925 — station pilot and local goods (western end of line only)

1925 — allowed back on passenger trains, also western end of line only

1928 (or whatever year you allow for the strike and Percy's arrival, which is somewhere between '25-'35) — shifts to a longstanding pattern of morning stopping passenger train (I proposed the Limited, to Cronk and back to Tidmouth) and then has a slow heavy goods out of Tidmouth (this requires stopping and shunting at many stations and takes the better part of the day), probably tacks on an evening passenger service too

1939-1946 — I do think wartime disrupted James's schedule. Ironically I tend to think he got a lot of passenger services, including regular charge of the Express to free Gordon on heavy coal and war materiel trains, but the work was all non-stop hell and Vicarstown certainly and probably Tidmouth also got blitzed so it's not like he got to enjoy it. Troop trains were also probably a James specialty.

1960 — James transitions out of heavy goods work and his longstanding timetable of Limited + slow goods + evening commuter service is changed, probably to something featuring more passenger trains than previously. Fitted goods are definitely an option to replace his hated slow goods assignment.

2010-11 — James picks up a months-long assignment helping with some sort of line repair. Notably it seems to be during the late winter/early spring "off season," so my guess is that he took his usual commuter services but that during the summer and holidays James is also taking frequent specials. It's during that chunk of his "busy season" timetables that he is pulled for stuff like this in the off-season—no need to find coverage for him.

You'll notice the 1920s were suuuuuuper eventful but also only a blip in James's life.

Which is the exact sort of thing that I think we so often forget. They've all lived so much more life than their little highlight stories that we're privy to.

[poof346]

Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, An Unlikely Success

So yeah, VERY late on this game, specifically reviewing the first one since I beat it recently, today actually. Much like everyone else, I was super confused when it was first leaked, as the entire concept of Mario teaming up with the Rabbids sounded...stupid to be blunt. And I'm not a huge fan of Ubisoft as a company either, that didn't help.

One way or another though, the game ended up in my hands somehow, and I initially stopped somewhere in World 3, the penultimate one. I don't remember why that was either, but I decided to finally get through the whole thing as something to hold me over while waiting for Sonic Frontiers to release. And then I got to the final world and forgot to continue for like 2 weeks. Whoops.

Fresh off the heels of my actual completion though, I'd say Kingdom Battle is pretty solid? Certainly had room for improvement that I hear its sequel capitalized on, but this was a fun time! I'll speed through the basics of what the game actually is to get to brass tacks. So, it's a turn-based strategy game where you lead Mario and his allies across battlefields and wield cartoony/sci-fi laser blasters to fight Rabbid fusions with Mario elements. The mechanics are streamlined more than a typical game of the genre to make it more accessible, but that doesn't mean there's no depth.

Characters have specialized roles, weapon kits, and skills to aid them in said roles. Luigi is a sniper, so all his attributes are built for him to fire from a long distance, etc. The game puts enough control into the player's hands that I felt I could approach the missions in any way with almost any team composition (you're not allowed to take Mario out of the team). So I'd say battles never lost their luster, even by the end.

What I think DID was the overworld, unfortunately. I got the impression that all the collectibles were placed after the fact, and that each world was designed as a linear path you only run through once. Makes more sense for a platformer than a role-playing game, and is also something the sequel apparently addressed. The puzzles within the worlds also contributed to this meh feeling, as pretty much all of them involved activating switches and/or pushing blocks. Not mindless by any means, but I would've appreciated more variety.

Thankfully, I can much more easily praise the music. If there's anything people who played can agree on, it's that Kingdom Battle has a very pleasant, whimsical and fun soundtrack befitting of Mario's world. Don't think there was a single one I disliked as I played, worth a listen for sure.

So as a whole, I'm glad to have finally finished this game, I liked it. Not the best RPG I've played but it gave me exactly the experience I was hoping for, a cozy and fun romp with only occasional bumps in the road. Will I play the sequel? Eh, maybe if I can find it used, don't wanna be directly giving money to Ubisoft.

[delamaster]

A morning in the life of a pig

"Wakey wakey Emma, it's time for breakfast"

The smell of bacon, eggs, and about a dozen other fried items filled my nose. I started to push myself up slowly. Since hitting 600lbs, this was becoming harder and harder. My feeder, seeing my struggle, gently placed his arm under my lower back and gave me a hand up.

"Can't have you wasting calories now, can we"

Grunting a little, I could finally feel my belly shift from pinning me down to sitting on my thighs, spreading them apart. I was long past the point where I could let it just sit on my lap. My muscles were burning from the comparatively little effort of sitting upright, and I was panting heavily, trying to cool off.

"Is it getting a bit difficult for my little piggy to move?"

"Yes, my belly..."

"No, MY belly, your belly was a small, cute thing, my belly is the vast tribute to my love and passion for you that you see now".

He was right, I had barely been 200lbs when we met. He fed me until I couldn't eat anymore. When I got too fat to work at McDonald's, he let me move in and paid for my food. Now that I can't even reach all my rolls, I've become dependent on him to clean me.

"Your belly is pinning me down, it's making it really hard to get around"

He smiled a cocky smile as he brought forward the food.

"I guess we could put you on a diet..."

The smell was overpowering. Delicious, fattening foods just out of my reach. I could barely keep focused. My mouth opened just as the huge belly under discussion growled like a caged today.

"Maybe I'll keep on eating for now"

He took a rasher of bacon on a fork and moved it to my mouth. The size of my belly forbade me making any attempts to get it until it was at my mouth. I barely used my arms for anything other than getting up in the morning and holding a controller. They were just so heavy. Of course it wasn't my fault, as my feeder kept on reminding me, he did this to me. And now that I couldn't get up easily, and couldn't lift my arms much, I really had no choice but to be a pig. To sit here and eat and fuck, and fuck and eat. Or rather be fed and fucked, and fucked and fed.

My belly started to feel full of delicious, greasy, fattening food. The gentle fullness started to arouse me, exciting parts that are otherwise completely hidden by my vast gut.

"Are you ready for your milkshake?"

"Yes!"

I was really feeling it now. The excitement of being completely stuffed never quite got old. The sweet potion of weight gain, a mixture of protein powder and flavoured milk, slowly filled my mouth, then went down my throat and started to fill every gap left by the food. 2 Liters later and I was panting.I needed to recline backwards, just to relieve some of the pressure. At the same time, I soaking wet. I could see my feeder rock hard as he looked over my body. I knew there was no way I could pleasure myself anymore. The very same thing arousing me was completely blocking any ability to do so. At the same time, my huge, bloated belly was so stuffed that all I could do was let out a rather pathetic one word plee.

"Horny"

"Of course, anything for my pig"

Missionary was long lost as a position. And anything with me on top wasn't happening after such a big stuffing. Or ever at all these days. He grabbed either side of me and started to move me down to the end of the bed, until my pussy was right at the edge. For my part, I tried to spread my legs as far as I could. My massive thighs were still touching, but at least now there was more room to move them. He slowly shifted my thighs apart with one hand, while caressing my belly with the other. Being reminded of what a pig I was certainly helped.

"Uhh"

I could only let out grunts and moans of pleasure as he thrust in to me. Each movement sent every inch of my fat body jiggling. My belly, stuffed and bloated as it was, was still coated in a thick layer of fat, leaving it free to wobble like an ocean of flab. My whole body was overcome with the pleasure of being completely given over to my feeder. In the climax I could slowly feel space being freed in my belly. Maybe if I asked, he'd get me some more food, after all, I may be his piggy, but he's MY feeder.

[orangeskiesandshinyeyes]

Caught during sex

Bangchan

Oh God, babe. He grunts out near your ear as he thrusts into you.

Gasps and quiet moans fills the room as he pushes you closer to your release.

Mmm baby I'm so close., you gasp out which only causes him to go deeper than before.

It's not the first time he's fucked you in the dorm but it would certainly be the first time he forgot to lock the door.

The younger boys gave you guys some privacy as usual and decided to crash in the hall and other rooms but you can't expect people to have any consciousness in the middle of the night.

In the room, Chan brings both of you closer and closer to your orgasms. His gasps become more frequent and your moans increase in their pitch.

Clawing his back, your eyes roll back as you finally find that sweet release. Grunting into your neck he follows right behind.

Catching your breaths, he brings his face up to kiss your cheek as the door suddenly swings open.

Thank God whoever opened it decided against turning the light on. You hear the bed creak as whoever just came in found their place on their own bed.

Frozen in place you wait as Chan, still in you contemplates his next move.

Fuck. He whispers.

He quietly shifts the position of the blanket that was now on his hips to cover the both of you. Slowly pulling out of you he tries to look around for your clothes. Whatever was on the bed anyway.

Suddenly you hear the bed creak again as the boy shifts and quickly gets up and out the room making sure to shut the door behind him.

Confused as to what just happened you push Chan off of you.

Getting off the bed he makes his way to the door in the dark quickly and puts the lock in place.

He turns the light on to find the clothes that were discarded and your eyes land on your bra.

On Changbin's bed.

Chan...

You say quietly as you point your finger towards the undergarment.

Ohhhhh shit.

That's why he left..

He must've felt the foreign object on his bed and you can't help but groan at Chan as you think about the trauma you both just gave Changbin.

Leeknow

Middle of the day. A free dorm. Two horny people.

This was bound to end up like this. Feeling you up in the middle of the kitchen, minho wastes no time in making his way to your lips. Moving his lips against yours, he slides his warm hands up and down your body. He moves to lift your shirt off but is stopped when you moan out a small not here.

He chuckles at this before kissing you again and lifting the shirt off of you anyway.

Moving his lips to your neck he starts peppering kisses on it just the way you like it. Gentle and wet. Slowly pushing you onto the kitchen floor he reaches out to unhook your bra.

You stop him before you can. Moving his face to look at you, he assures you.

Don't worry. They won't be back for some time.

You shake your head at him. They could always come back for something, Minho.

Either we move to the bed or you let me keep my bra on. You state.

He sighs and lifts you up off the floor.

Fine have it your way. He chuckles as he rolls his eyes at you. He takes your hand in his and leads you to the bedroom. When you reach the hall, however he decides to get frisky again. Stopping, he turns to your half clothed chest before grabbing your waist.

He brings his face down to your chest and starts his routine of placing his amazing lips on the exposed area. He places kisses over your bra and moves up to the exposed skin. You try to push him off but you stop as he brings his fingers to the cup and bring it down to expose your nipple. He takes it in his mouth and immediately starts his work on it. Still holding your waist he pushes you down onto the sofa behind you and returns to tugging on your nipple. Now pulling the bra down your chest, he exposes your breasts to him. Ogling them for a moment he smiles before getting to work on the both of them. Squeezing one between his fingers and the other between his lips, he watches your face as you lose your train of thoughts. Now kneeling in front of you with his face buried in your chest and body inbetween your legs, he moves his free hand down to your pants directly slipping into them. Pushing past your underwear, he dips his finger into your wetness before going to work on your bud. The hand that was on your breast comes down now to spread your legs. His face moves back up to your neck as he buries himself in your neck before pushing two fingers in.

You groan out at the stretch and he gives you time to adjust.

Too much baby? He moans out as he sucks faint bruises on your neck.

You moan at this and he takes it as a sign to continue. Sliding them in and out of your for a few seconds he picks up the pace without warning as he moves them fast enough to make you shake.

Ahhhhhhhh.. you cry out at the sudden change in pace and Minho only speeds up at this.

Ramming his fingers in and out of you he moves away from your neck to look down at your clothed sex. He watches his fingers moving beneath the fabric for a second before taking them out of you and moving to take your pants and panties down till your ankles.

But as he watches your juices drip down your thighs he pulls them back on as if suddenly realising that you cant mess the sofa up.

Pushing you back up onto the sofa he moves to sit inbetween your thighs as he gets to work on your nipples. His hand dives back into your panties but this time he focuses on your clit. Rubbing it in just the right ways he works on your nipples, slowly sucking and tugging at the peaked bud.

You balance on the verge of your orgasm and Minho senses this. Pressing his finger down hard on your clit, he skillfully pushes himself up and presses you onto the couch more as be brings his lower body closer to your own. Taking his hand out from your heat, he brings them into his own pants to bring his member out. He pumps himself for a few seconds before pushing himself up further to a more suitable position to take you.

You bring your own hand to pump him as he shifts the two of your around so that he's on the sofa and you on top of him.

He moves you up to pull your clothes down and he positions you above his free member. You grab the sofa behind him and ask him one more time to move to the bedroom but you leave the argument the second he pulls you down his member. He starts lifting his hips up to meet you as you throw your head back at this.

Moans fills the room as you bounce on top of him, exposed completely to him.

He watches you intently for a few minutes almost as if he can't stop before suddenly stopping.

You whine at this and he immediately takes you off of him before a serious look forms on his face.

What if someone comes in?

He asks you and you all but kick him at this.

That's what I've been saying!

You shout at him.

He puts you down on the sofa before fixing himself up and you do the same. He puts your bra back in place and starts taking you to the room.

Once in the room he wastes no time and throws your clothes off of you. He does the same and his clothes go flying too, some unnecessarily far.

Its all mechanical after that. Your bodies move by themselves. Neither of you in control, your bodies take over.

Moans filling the room, you barely hear the shout from the hall.

YAH JISUNG DON'T GO IN THERE! THEY'RE HAVING SEX.

You hear Hyunjin call out from the hall.

WHAT THE FUCK? You hear jisung scream from right out the door.

Minho freezes on top of you and looks right at you before he starts laughing.

We left your shirt on the kitchen floor.

He says laughing.

You slap his chest at this before he gets off of you and pulls his boxers on.

He creaks the door open to shout out.

HEY YOU BOTH BETTER GET OUT OF HERE FAST OKAY?

Changbin

Changbin was feeling less that innocent tonight.

You were the one to initiate the whole thing but he can't say no to you so he's always ready. So it didn't take much convincing for him to be on you.

Planted between your legs, he was knocking every bit of sense out of your with his mouth.

Humming into your heat, he reaches out to hold your waist in place.

You grab hold of his hair as he continues his work on you.

Feathering this fingers over your hips he slowly picks up the pace.

Whining and moaning rubbish, you pull his hair which only makes him groan out sending vibrations right to your core.

You feel the knot unravelling as he starts to suck on the bud. And with one shrill cry of pleasure, you come.

Finally releasing your bud, be moves up towards your face rather hastily while trying to push his tracks and boxers down. He pumps himself for about two seconds before realising he doesn't need to. Positioning himself inbetween your legs he slowly pushes in.

Ughh... he groans out throwing his head back as his eyes close.

A few seconds later he starts moving and takes your arms to place them on his neck.

You bring his face down to kiss him as he goes deeper with each thrust.

He kisses you deep before leaving your lips to throw his head back again. You watch him for a moment before he abruptly stops his movements.

You watch him in confusion before he brings his arm to the top of your head while looking at the door to the room.

Before you can turn around to look at him however, he kisses you making you forget about it.

You start moaning into his mouth again as he starts moving once more.

As you continue the heated events Changbin starts to massage your scalp with the hand he placed above your head as he sighs thinking of how just seconds ago, Chan burst into the room before seeing the two of you. And how he signalled for him to lock the door quietly so as not to make you feel awkward in having been caught.

This is one secret he'd gladly keep from you.

Hyunjin

I think this would be a disaster.

He seems like the type of person who would get lost in the moment and regret it later.

You came to the dorm with the idea of simply spending some time with him and neither of you had any ideas in mind.

But after an hour or so you both ended up being the only people in the dorm, be it by chance or the boys being polite and giving you both some alone time.

Once you both realised the lack of people around you, the tension skyrockets.

You could feel the conversation dying and the heartbeats quickening. Now almost awkward, you both sit there and sneak glances every now and then until it gets too much. He's the first to pounce.

Pulling you on top of him, he'd explore your mouth. Pulling back every now and then you'd sense some hesitation so you'd ask him what was bothering him.

'You think they left us alone on purpose?' He asks in a whisper.

'I don't know? Maybe? But let's go to your room just to be safe?' You'd suggest.

And once in the comfort of his room he'd be a little more confident. A little too confident.

He seems like the type to be bothered about something but still do it. So he might be a little wary about having sex in the dorm but he'd still do it if you gave him even the slightest form of assurance.

But he's also the type to end up red as a beet and panicked when caught.

Now with his temporary green light, he'd throw your clothes off a bit too fast.

..

'Oh God' His whines fill the room as you move on top of him.

His arms around your body tightens as his whines and whimpers get more frequent.

Hiding in your neck he'd wait for his high to hit him but just before he could

'Oh shit. You're nasty!' Somebody laughs from outside the room.

You feel Hyunjin freeze beneath you and you fear for a second that he's turned to stone.

You dare to look down at him and you see him with furrowed brows and his cheek between his teeth looking right at you but you know he's not focusing on you.

You swear you almost see his ear move like a puppy's as he tries to listen to the faintest of noises.

You put your forehead on his and you feel him flinch a little.

'Hey, it's okay.' You whisper out.

Swallowing, he gives you a faint nod and it's painfully clear how traumatised he is right now.

You slowly move off of him and get things moving and pass him his clothes and put on your own.

Picking up his phone, he gets on his bed and tries to retreat into his little bubble but when he sees you opening the door to go out he shoots you a panicked 'Hey where are you going!?'

'2 mins baby' and you step out.

And he can't help but let a grin form when he hears jisung screaming out in shock from what was probably a whack to his head, courtesy of you.

Han

Studio sex is nothing new for you both.

During one of the routine bangs, you both were completely in the moment that the first knock didn't reach any ears. The slightly more needy one did, however.

Putting an arm on your waist, Han pulls out of you before giving you a moment to arrange yourself and he does the same before heading to the door.

Chan greets him on the other side and the face he makes makes Han close the door behind him.

'Lock the door next time, yea?' Chan suggests and your boyfriend can't help but swallow hard at the revelation.

He'd debate whether to continue or not after that shock but when he sees you sitting there, still a little out of breath he'd come right back to you and continue. It's not like Chan would be back anytime soon after he knows what was going on anyway. But first he'd make sure the door was locked. He'd double check that everytime you were over after that just to be sure.

Felix

This guy would swear so much.

Felix gets very into any activity that involves you so there wouldn't be much thinking with the brain going on when you both get intimate.

A scream would be all you hear before you hear the door slam shut.

'Oh what the f..!'

'Oh God oh shit.' He'd start swearing and starts laughing in disbelief.

'I'm so sorry baby, they didn't see anything. I'm sure!'

He wouldn't be too annoyed about it or anything. Most likely to go on as if nothing happened if you're fine.

Seungmin

Panting into your neck, he'd be moving in and out of you at a slow pace. He'd bring his arm above your head to cage you in in a way to make you feel protected.

'Ahh..' He moans out as he brings his lips to your cheek, placing open mouthed kisses on it.

Your moans would make him go faster and faster and that familiar burn starts up in the pit of your stomach.

'AH!?' You're brought back to reality when you hear him let out a surprised shout.

You see him change from horny to angry as he gets off of you to go lock the door.

After locking the door he comes right back to you before sitting besides you on the bed and resting his arm on you.

'You want to continue?' He asks you with a smile and you don't even feel like questioning what made him stop inbetween your workout.

But there's not much to guess. The surprised shriek sounded a lot like the youngest kid saw something he wasn't supposed to.

.....

Sorry that the last few are rushed. I start writing a lot of imagines without completing any so it gets hard to post on time. And I write directly on tumblr so I can't even edit it and post it individually.

I'm going to focus on individual ones now. Do give the prompt list a lot of love. *-*

[ratcandy]

Subcon Forest Analysis

Hi everyone I'm here to spill my aggressive overflowing thoughts on Subcon Forest and what it represents because it's been driving me insane since I finished the Sleepy Subcon time rift. Okay let's go. Obvious spoilers for AHIT ahead so proceed with caution.

This is also very, very long.

Disclaimer/warning: I will be discussing abusive/unhealthy relationships in this analysis. I mean. Vanessa. Come on. Also, there is a section on the nooses, and that delves, of course, into mentions of suicide. It will be sectioned off and easily skipped, but if you'd rather be safe and skip the entire post, that's completely understandable! Please stay safe. <3

Alright. Main point to be had here:

Subcon Forest is a giant extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character.

You all get to now listen to me spout nonsense about metaphors and symbolism because I'm a sucker for analysis and I'm given an opportunity to go ham. So perish.

The Ice

Let's start with the most obvious and most glaring thing in Subcon. The ice. It's everywhere. Not just outside Vanessa's manor, either; no, it's throughout the village, too. Shows up in the well and in random locations sprinkled about. When it comes to literal plot, we know that ice is just what lingers after Vanessa's wintery curse on Subcon. But going deeper and analyzing the meaning behind it?

Well, let's look at this from the perspective I've suggested. Subcon Forest being an extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character. A symbol for Vanessa then litters his mind, enough where it's certainly noticeable at first but blends in more easily once more of Subcon is unlocked to Hat Kid. This is clearly meant to be his lingering trauma, whether or not he wants to acknowledge it. Which he doesn't, as he never mentions it directly in his forest (that I can recall). Her influence plagues him, as to be expected with the traumatic experiences he went through with her. Breaking the ice is something Hat Kid must do in order to fulfill the wishes of the Fire Spirits (another subject I'll get into shortly), which, if self-indulgently playing with the found family idea, could mean that Hat Kid is helping him heal; if indirectly. Even if fulfilling the Fire Spirits' wish to die is... counterproductive, in that measure, which I'm now getting ahead of myself so hold on a sec!!

Vanessa. Ice. Everywhere. Traces of it all over his forest. That's the effects of an abusive relationship! Especially in a worst-case scenario where... yknow! One party in the relationship dies! So of course ice would be everywhere.

In and of itself, ice is a common symbol in literature and other forms of media. In this case, it's presented as an antagonistic force; emphasis is placed upon freezing and the harm that comes with it. The cold is unwelcoming, threatening, merciless. Snow can act as an insulating force, at least, but ice cannot. It can only make things colder.

A slight stretch: Seeing as this game deals a lot with time shenaniganry, I'm not sure if it'd be too out of left field to connect "freezing" with the theme of time. Yknow. Frozen in time. Both parties here, Snatcher and Vanessa, would be in this frozen state. One largely repressing it and never fully moving on, and the other doomed to her isolation ever since the event in question. They never moved past that moment after the Prince and florist's interaction.

The Fire Spirits (& the Portraits)

I'll put a slight warning here for suicidal ideation, if only because... it's the Fire Spirits we're talking about. It's not as grossly in-detail as the noose discussion will be, though, so make of that what you will.

To me, the Fire Spirits are a very interesting case. After all, they're fire. They're a direct contrast to the ice, thus being the only thing we're shown that could potentially melt it. The Fire Spirits, in my opinion, represent hope or a strength to continue. A strength to move on after troubles of the past.

...And that hope wants to die.

The Fire Spirits wish to burn out, to leave this mortal coil and abandon the forest to the cold. They make no effort to melt the ice, they simply dance, blissfully ignorant towards their surroundings. This being a metaphor for Snatcher's own hope for moving on is made all the more obvious by the fact he wants them gone. The first contract is to kill the Fire Spirits, to kill the hope. Perhaps he believes that sort of thing to be fruitless or naïve, so it only clutters his mind or has him foolishly optimistic at points. So, get rid of it. And the hope is happy to oblige.

(That, or their willingness to leave the forest to its own suffering and not aid in the ice's thaw angers him. Besides the whole "bark bark growl I can't get to parts of my forest because of them!!" which... also could represent a naïve hope clouding his judgement, not allowing him to see a bigger picture. But hope can't all be lost if one wants to move forward...)

A little side-tangent now on the portraits! And it's another slight stretch but the idea is in my head and I can't let it go. Portraits are another common symbol, usually being a physical representation of a memory or idea. For our purposes, let's say they're memories. I know in canon they appear to just hold souls captive or something but for now we're just Ignoring That(tm). The Fire Spirits have to burn the portraits to disappear. See where I'm going with this, maybe?

Instead of handling bad memories (or perhaps memories of the past in general) in any healthy manner, Snatcher chooses to forget/repress them, which just allows his hope to progressively die out.

I'm really hoping this is making sense because it makes a lot of sense to me but I might be insane rn

The Fact that this is a Forest

Forest symbolism breakdown! What's a forest usually mean in literature? "Traditionally, the forest has come to represent being lost, exploration and potential danger as well as mystery and 'other worldliness'." Okay. Yeah. Fair enough. That certainly works with the whole aesthetic we've got going on. Wood usually is life, growth and strength. But the trees of subcon are all dead. So what about that? It stands for death, big whoop, very spooky, we know Snatcher's dead and so are the children, yadda yadda wowie wowie. But. :) The trees in Subcon look a lot like trees that were scorched in a forest fire. Don't believe me?

(You could also argue they're just regular marsh/swamp trees bUT SSHHSUUHSH HANG ON HEAR ME OUT LOOK LOOK,)

What I believe to have happened was a controlled fire to rid the forest of the majority of its ice and snow. Likely done by Snatcher. It leaves behind a very desolate, depressing, barren scene... but. What else do dead/burnt trees symbolize? Rebirth. After all, controlled fires happen to make way for new trees to take the place of old ones. Some trees only drop seeds in fires/hot temperatures, so new ones take root and begin anew. Weird. It's almost like... I dunno. Snatcher was given some sorta second chance, given he's not just a corpse in Vanessa's cellar. So were the subconites. Another life given then by Snatcher. All connected I tell ya!!

Generally, aside from that, forests have many connotations. Mystery, isolation, claustrophobia; a place to dwell on regrets, or the past; to worry over one's future; to seek escape from or escape inside of... hmgmrnmm!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The Nooses

The t/w is given at the top and another cut-off point will follow the bottom of this, for those that would like to skip. This will delve into talk of suicide and abusive tactics used by abusers. Please don't read if it will upset you or make you feel unsafe!!!

Personally, I cannot stand the nooses, but that's just due to my own triggers. Were there a way to hide those from the game or replace the damned talking ones with anything else. I would take it. In a heartbeat. But I can still appreciate the potential analysis to be had with them. So now i'm gonna talk about it despite how uncomfortable it will make me to do so. yEa

So, what about 'em? There are three types of nooses seen in Subcon. At least that I remember but I didn't really go looking for them. Empty ones, ones containing empty subconites, and the talking ones.

Nooses in general obviously can hint towards suicidal thoughts or behaviors of the characters that interact with them. If saying Subcon is Snatcher's mind, it could suggest that he suffered from some sort of suicidal thoughts in life (or currently, if second death is possible... or if he never truly died... or maybe he's trying to figure that out...which has given me... a separate idea...uh oh). But. And hear me out. Different perspective.

A talking noose. I hate them with a fiery passion that is unmatched. But think of the packed symbolism of a noose that talks. And think more about what it says. "I wouldn't mind being strapped around a cute neck like yours." "Be careful now, I don't want to see you meet a miserable end anywhere, but with me." Oddly, a lot of what the noose says seems almost... endearing? One could argue it's a way of luring someone to put it around their necks, which in and of itself is a whole lot to unpack when it comes to suicidal thoughts beckoning one forward; painting itself as something romantic, almost. But. Here's a wild idea, now. What if the nooses, at least the talking ones, are another symbol for Vanessa?

They're tinted blue, after all. While Vanessa's scheme is more red, one could argue two things: One, ice. Blue. Ice. yeah. Or two, the fact that Snatcher's scheme is more purple. Blue and red... make... purple. So, for all we know, Snatcher's current state was a compound effort between suicidal thoughts and Vanessa's treatment of him. Perhaps he even found a way to put himself out of his misery before freezing/starving to death. (I know he has dialogue that argues against that, but... are we certain Snatcher would be the kind to admit suicide over freezing to death?... I don't think so.)

At any rate, a common threat by those in "control" of an abusive relationship is that of killing themselves should the other person not do as they desire. It's a cruel form of emotional manipulation to get their way, worse off if the other party is an empathetic individual. As a person who has been the empathetic individual in relationships like this... I would know. I've been here, unfortunately So, it's not completely out of the question to say Vanessa could've used some tactic like that, even before the whole... cellar ordeal. Did she? I dunno. I'm tossing ideas around. But if she did, the threats of such would sit around in the Prince's mind easily. Even if she has a reputation of not going through with it. It doesn't matter. That shit sticks with you forever, that scare, the potential of it ever being true, is horrifying and it ruins you. I'm projecting, Squirtle.

Still. A noose cannot hang itself. It has to have a victim.

...yea.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W PASSED -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Misc. Ideas

- The spiders: Aside from the usual things spiders can be chalked up to symbolizing - toxicity, alluring danger, just... general pain - I like the potential wordplay that can happen here. Yknow. A black widow. Say the Prince and Vanessa were married when one died. What would that leave Vanessa? A widow. ...She's red and black, too. Yknow. Like a black widow. HA wordplay is fun isn't it?

- Snatcher's tree: Love this place, love sitting in here. But not the point! The inside of Snatcher's tree is such a harsh juxtaposition to the rest of Subcon that it kinda throws ya off guard. After all, the dark, purples and blues then contrasted with the bright warm colors of the inside. Even the music switches over. The thorns outside aren't present indoors. Ohh yeah this is gonna be on the nose as hell but the Tree(tm) is 100% representing Snatcher's appearance/put-on personality vs. his truer nature. Spooky outside with thorns, foreboding, unwelcoming. Then the more comfortable interior. VULnerable. Have I even mentioned that the tree is HOLLOW I mean COME ON. The sturdiness of that tree? Nonexistent. He's not a sturdy guy at all no matter how he fronts

- Intrusions are unwelcome: Snatcher does not like the fact that Hat Kid sticks around in his forest. His personal space. His mind. In fact he tries desperately to get rid of her after their fight, not wanting her presence in his forest at all. He has no problem providing more contracts later on with the Death Wish thing, and he finds great entertainment in messing around with Hat Kid, so it's not just a weird sudden hatred he has for her; it's the fact that. After she's finished being useful, he no longer wants her around, lest she find some things she shouldn't find. Now he's just uncomfortable with her in his personal boundaries. Could just be a denial that she's helped him heal (breaking ice, stealing from Vanessa, being something interesting for his kids to interact with) or just not really wanting a child to get wrapped up in. All that. Most likely the former. Considering the amount of joke-hints he drops regarding his background during his Death Wish dialogue. I see you funny man, making jokes out of your trauma as a coping mechanism. Punts him

Annnd I think that's all I got, for now! I'll make an update post if I get any more sporadic ideas. If you read this whole thing, thank you!! and also!! Wow that was a lot!! Hell world. Please feel free to elaborate on any of my points or debate with me on em!! I'm always open to other ideas, just be aware that if I disagree I am not shy when it comes to debate hehehe, tho I won't be aggressive to any extent I prommy!!

Alrighty. goes to sleep goodnight

[egg-emperor]

I really like that scene with Starline you mentioned because although IDW often gets Eggman wrong, that moment hit the nail on the head. This. This is why he always fails in the end. Because he can’t just get rid of Sonic, he has to make it a huge victory and that’s where he slips up every time. His need for the special moment where he has Sonic in his clutches is his downfall, because it leaves Sonic room to escape. And I think he knows it, too. But he just can’t let it go for the sake of his own ego! It’s a very good way to frame things because it allows for the glorified game of cat and mouse to keep going without it becoming unrealistic that Sonic always wins, by making it a key point of Eggman’s character. It’s the one thing he just can’t let go, it’s his main character flaw. And I love that, because it’s not that he’s stupid or doesn’t think things through, it’s that his focus on his plan always slips in favour of going for Sonic personally. It’s just not as fun if he nukes the whole area, he needs to have the hedgehog in his clutches personally. I know I’m sort of rambling, but I just love those moments where you can really get into Eggman’s mind and see exactly what he needs for his win to be worth it in his eyes.

I loved that scene for the writing too, my liking isn't just a case of me only liking the art and the way that it's very thrilling and sexy to see Eggman physically attack someone. It certainly plays a part heheh, but this page was also in the earlier days of the Metal Virus arc, when I actually liked what his portrayal seemed to be shaping up to be. At that point, I'd loved it from the moment Starline helped him get back to his real glorious ingenious self. It feels so weird remembering how much hope I had.

And the scene provided a reasonable explanation for why he doesn't typically aim to kill Sonic in the fastest most simple way possible, if he has the choice. One that isn't 'ooh he secretly cares and can't really bring himself to kill him!' because that would massively contradict canon. Which is why I'm baffled by the way I've seen this scene interpreted as him having a soft spot for him and not wanting him killed. He's literally saying that he should be the one to do it instead of Starline, hello???

There have been other examples of him having a similar reason to keep Sonic alive in various media, with game canon examples being: Eggman saving Sonic in Lost World- he didn't want him to die simply by falling into lava by something the Deadly Six caused, he wants it to be his doing. He needed Sonic to hold off them off while he took back control of the energy extractor and destroy Sonic by himself with the Eggrobo that was powered by the energy from the extractor that he regained control of after betraying him.

Also the way that he kept Sonic locked up for six months in Forces- he wasn't sparing his life because he cares about him. He was keeping him alive so he could show him his completed empire before banishing him and dealing with him as necessary for good. He'd find victory most satisfying when he can make him know what it feels like to be defeated, proving his power, brilliance, and superiority, and finally accomplishing his goal so he can rule the world and make all the dreams of the glorious Eggman Empire come true at last.

Also note that, after Infinite is defeated, he says he didn't believe he could lose but that victory will be so much sweeter when he defeats Sonic because it's not anyone else's job. Having him successfully weakened and locked up and gaining 99.9% of the world is something to be immensely proud of, yes, but true victory to him is when he gets to complete that final step by destroying him. And it'll be much sweeter if he's the one to do it instead of Infinite, so he's truly beaten by him and he can prove his superiority.

It's a similar deal with this scene in particular in IDW. Eggman is pissed off with Starline because he's trying to go behind his back, act without permission, and destroy Sonic by himself without even asking if it'd a sudden move he should make. These are things that Starline should've taken his word for because he'd keep on making similar mistakes by going behing his back again to bring in the D6 and then trying to defeat Sonic and hand over the throne, despite Eggman very clearly wanting to defeat him himself and it's his victory to earn, not Starline's.

There are times where it's no longer a choice/he becomes desperate to kill him there and then, especially in the heat of the battle where he's clearly trying to kill him by any means necessary. Then it doesn't seem to matter how he does it. But Sonic manages to win and in the end he always goes back to wanting to draw it out and make it more impactful and more personal, so he can truly feel that he's gotten the most satisfying victory he desires after all the times he's gotten in the way of getting what he wants. He wants to finally get the last laugh and all the power he's always wanted!

While it's not always the case as sometimes we see that he settles for other robots, deities, or lackeys to destroy him, I also enjoy the concept of him having a type of fucked up possessiveness where he ultimately feels that Sonic is his to destroy, if he has the choice and feels it's the right time and place. And nobody else is allowed to try to do it for for him if he didn't say that they could, like Starline. I like his aggressive assertion of this desire, proving how damn serious he is about it. He isn't just messing around like some people think he is and it's certainly not out of a care for Sonic.

I think it's a good reason to put behind why he doesn't just quickly kill Sonic and have it over and done with just like that. Also a way to prove that he doesn't fail all the time because he's incompetent and lazy with the execution of his plans and doesn't take his chances (which IDW still decided to imply later on despite this scene, for some fucking lame and bizarre reason ugh), it's because he has a set goal and a specific way of doing things and he does get a thrill out if it and belief that he'll get it some day. After being a thorn in his side for so long, he wants his victory and Sonic's loss to be greater than ever, so he can feel truly accomplished and superior!

[alkalinefrog]

hey, so, I had an art related question... if all of this is too much, feel free to ignore it.

the backstory is that I've had the same laptop since early high school but recently I had a birthday (I'm 28 now). my parents got me an HP laptop, and my friend got me a tablet, which she bought off of an online friend for $30. the problem is that I haven't had new technology like... ever? none that was actually mine anyway, and certainly nothing that could handle me using it for art.

and this is especially a problem when it comes to the tablet. my friend helped me get firealpaca onto the laptop, and get the tablet set up with the right drivers, aaaaand... I cannot make one line that looks good using it. I've been using pen and paper for so long and I have a really light touch, and it feels like I have to jam the pen down to get it to register, at which point I might as well have not set the pen sensitivity to anything at all because the thickest line is the only kind I can make?? any lighter and it won't show up on the screen at all. like I can ctrl+z and it doesn't even go back a step, the line didn't get drawn. there's like a 20% chance that any line I try to put down won't actually register. and tbh this isn't really what I had wanted... it's a huion tablet, which is the brand I wanted, but I was gonna buy myself one where you can see what you're drawing on the screen of the tablet itself. not just due to coordination issues, I think I could get used to that part, but because I feel like I wouldn't be having this specific problem with getting things to register. every single line I make looks like crap with this tablet, it makes me feel like I might as well be drawing with my feet, and I've been fidgeting with settings, and it doesn't seem like anything helps. I also still don't have a mouse for the laptop yet, so I can't click and drag anything very well because it has a trackpad, so messing with sliders is already aggravating.

I feel so lost and overwhelmed, and like if I buy anything else, I'm just going to end up with more unusable stuff because *I'm* probably the problem. I just don't know anything, and trying is mentally fatiguing me so quickly... my brain knows what I want my art to look like, and my hands can do it with a real pen. I just have absolutely no clue how to make this machine produce anything.

so I guess my questions are stuff like, what equipment do you use? are there tablets that will register a light touch or am I really going to have to be this heavy handed in order to work with one? what resolution/canvas size do you usually work on? any recommendations for what program to use?

overall, I'd really like to get myself something that feels more intuitive than the tablet... honestly, I was finding some success drawing with just my finger on the touch screen of my phone at one point. there were still a lot of problems with that, but the nail in the coffin was that my phone's memory space filled up and I had to get rid of the drawing app to make it functional again (it's an iphone, which is why). maybe I should just get an ipad or something...? though, one more thing on the mountain of potential options is the last thing my crumbling ADHD brain needs. I've been taking a break from art in general because I've still maintained my 40-hours-a-week work schedule through the whole pandemic... I do 10 hour shifts and work overnight, so I technically have free time since I only work 4 days a week, but the type of work I do leaves me with no energy at all. so I've been in an art slump and I've been wanting to get out of it, but this is just making art feel impossible, even though the whole reason why I've always wished I could draw digitally is so that I can color digitally. I had been drawing things in pen and scanning them to color in photoshop, but cleanup takes so long that I literally can't produce finished work anymore. I'm out of options that aren't prohibitively labor intensive and frustrating.

this was probably way too much information, but if you have any advice I'd be really grateful.

Huh, well first off HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!! Congrats on the sweet new tech (even if it's been a bit frustrating) and well-deserved celebration!

From the sounds of it I think the main issue is probably your tablet (this is pure speculation on my end though, so you know, grain of salt and all). You're right in that you shouldn't have to fight against your equipment. I have a really light touch too and I've never had the same issue. I personally don't have any experience with huion tablets, but if you're having trouble getting your lines to register then it might have been worn down by the previous user. It's not so much about buying a monitor (the screen one) vs. tablet so much as getting working equipment.

An iPad is a great alternative!! I've played around with the apple pencil and procreate and it's a super intuitive program with (obviously) super easy set up! You get the drawing on the screen AND really nice pen pressure. I'm really happy seeing it opening up new doors for more people to get into digital art!

In terms of your current laptop/tablet situation:

My set up rn is pretty pricey ngl; I have a PC desktop computer with a 16 inch Wacom Cintiq. Getting started in digital art doesn't mean you have to drop a bag on a ton of equipment right from the get go though! If you're looking for a safe small investment, I'd recommend getting a Wacom Bamboo pen tablet!

This lil' baby right here is what I started with!! I think cost-wise it floats around 70ish bucks, but that's exponentially more affordable than buying a huge monitor. One of my friends who's also a pro artist uses a similar small tablet because it works great! That's an alternative that might be worth looking into.

You can also get free trials on other drawing programs (clip studio paint is a great one!) To test and see if it's a software issue with firealpaca.

You could also try checking online forums to see if anyone else is running into similar issues, or watch some YouTube videos of people reviewing different tablets. I know this might be even more overwhelming, so I'd try and narrow the scope to focus on one thing at a time.

My best advice right now would actually be to get a mouse, or any other accessories you need. I've also been in your shoes where I was completely overwhelmed, and I can say that checking off all the small easy things makes a HUGE difference! It makes you feel more in control of the situation, and even if you're still having trouble with digital art you can at least get more comfortable using your laptop in the mean time.

You got this dude!! I believe in you!!

EDIT:

Thanks @wooliebirds!

[jamiemackenziefraser]

All That Was Fair 

Chapter 35: What Comes Next

Summary: The day after their reunion, Claire and Jamie begin to come to terms with what happened

Read on AO3

Read chp 35 on tumblr below the cut

Previous, master list, next

A/n: *Deep breath* Surprise! 🤗🤗 I’m back :))

More a/n: Hello.... it's me :) Remember these guys?

If you need a quick "previously on ATWF"... After discovering that Claire was cut off from her energy source on the human plane, Jamie sent her back through the stones and began to face life without her. Several weeks later, Claire miraculously appeared in his garden. By giving up her place among the fair folk, she had received an opal that connects her to the fair plane, allowing her to go back through the stones to the human realm and back to Jamie. And finally, there was the reunion and long awaited wedding night.

I've missed you all and I've missed writing these two precious bbs. Thank you so much for sticking around for these past two months!! Without further ado, let's begin with the intermediary chapters before arc III picks up!

Chapter 35: What Comes Next

***

Jamie Fraser’s wife was perfect. Laying beside him in bed, her features relaxed in sleep and bathed in the soft morning light, Jamie couldn’t take his eyes off of her. His gaze trailed down, taking in the softness of her bare skin covered only by the sheet. Skin like pearl. 

She was exquisite. The memories of the night before flooded his mind, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. 

It took all his willpower not to reach out and touch her. Claire was a light sleeper, and his touch would certainly wake her. But after all she had been through, Jamie couldn’t possibly have disturbed her rest. He would simply wait and content himself with the image before him of his wife… his wife… safe in bed beside him. Perfect. Even the simple rhythm of her breaths was music to his ears.

The heartache of the last few weeks seemed so distant. As if he was invincible and nothing could touch him. That was all in the past, and nothing could shake his contentment at present. 

He would have happily stayed there and memorized every wrinkle and freckle and divot on her perfect face, but his bladder had other plans. Gingerly, Jamie slid himself out from under the sheet and off the bed before padding his way into the bathroom. He went about his business with the lazy contentment of someone who had all the time in the world. 

His heart felt so full. 

As he returned to the bedroom, he stretched out his arms, feeling his muscles ache with just the slightest amount of soreness. The gardening of the previous day felt like a lifetime ago. He sighed and let his eyelid close in a contented heavy blink. 

He had just rounded the corner into the bedroom when the serenity shattered around him like a balloon popping. 

The bed was entirely empty. 

His heart leapt to his throat and panic brought the blood rushing to his ears. 

Claire wouldn’t have left his bed. There was no way. She never rose before him, and especially after the separation, she would never have left without him. There was nothing for her to do in the house without him, no possible explanation....

His stomach lurched and bile rose in his throat. 

The grief that had felt so distant crashed down around his ears in an all too familiar wave. He found himself staring once again into the darkness, and it stole his breath. 

Staring at his bed, the sheets tangled only on one side and no imprint of Claire on the second pillow, the tears began. 

His head was shaking back and forth without conscious decision. 

Panic seemed to freeze his body and steal his mind. The only thought in his head was “gone. She’s gone.” 

He couldn’t survive being alone again. He’d barely survived sending her back, and to have lost her so soon after getting her back... he would simply lay down and die. 

His limbs wouldn’t move beyond the tremors that had started to travel through his muscles. He couldn’t seem to tear his gaze from the room, its emptiness heavy and apparent. The perfection of Claire’s light was gone, leaving the world in monotone greys and blacks once again. That brokenness in the pit of his stomach...

Alone. 

He whirled on his heel, his body suddenly bursting into action with the need to do something— anything to run from the debilitating chasm that lay in front of him— when he came face to face with a wide-eyed and startled Claire at the top of the steps. 

The air was punched out of him, and immediately he was in front of her and crushing her to his chest. He squeezed her to him with enough force that it was probably extremely uncomfortable for her, but he couldn’t seem to stop. His lungs were hitched in panicked breaths as his hand found the back of her head and he pushed it against his chest, holding her safe against him. 

She was there. Real and whole. In his arms. 

Claire was quite apparently startled. She had only just brought her hands up to hug him in return and was beginning to slide them up and down in back in confused reassurance. 

He buried his teary face in the top of her curls and let out a shaky exhale, trapping her even closer to him. 

“Jamie?” came her muffled voice from against his chest. 

He felt her body was tense with concern, and he had to force himself to calm the raging storm of emotion inside before he overwhelmed her. Her hands were flat on his back now, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was sensing his turmoil and worried out of her mind. 

“I came back to find you gone, and I…” 

“You thought you’d lost me again,” she whispered in understanding, sounding sympathetic without any judgement. 

They were both quiet for a second, and she melted against him, allowing him to hold her close. 

“I’m sorry I scared you,” she breathed, “I just woke up and you weren’t there, so I went downstairs to look for you.” 

Jamie shook his head, his face brushing against her curls. “It wasna yer fault. I jes’ lost my mind for a minute,” he chuckled breathlessly. His fear betrayed him, causing his voice to tremor. 

Claire drew back, and his knee-jerk reaction was to tense in alarm. 

“Come here,” she said softly, taking his hand in hers. 

She led him back into the bedroom and sat him down on the edge of the bed before joining him. Claire never once let go of his hand, and her thumb brushed across his knuckles as she looked into his eyes with a searching look. 

“You didn’t lose your mind,” she said, voice thick with understanding, “these last few weeks… they must have been torture for you.” 

She went quiet then, intentionally leaving space in the silence, and looked at him expectantly. 

“It was,” Jamie breathed in barely a whisper, dreading sending his mind back to that dark place. But he knew he needed to get it out, and she knew it too. “I... “ he couldn’t continue as his voice caught in his throat. He swallowed and tried to start again. “I was alive, but I wasna living. I didna want to go on.” 

She was trying to keep herself under control, but his words had sparked fear in her eyes. And rightly so. 

“I didna hurt myself...” Jamie tried to allay her worry, “but I wanted to. I wished I could end it all sometimes....” 

It was like he was standing in that darkness once again, facing down his loneliness with nothing more than the memory of her to keep him going. 

Her free hand moved to stroke up and down his bicep. Warm and comforting. He took a breath. 

“Losing you and continuin’ on… was the hardest thing I’d ever done…” Jamie said shakily, “and I dinna ken… when I came back to the room and ye werena there… it was like I was in that place all over again. I jes’...” 

“I understand,” she said gently. 

Her whisky eyes were soft and warm, inviting him into a place of safety. He felt himself crumble like some ancient wall, and his body slumped forward. 

She was ready for him, opening her arms and bringing him close. His face pressed against her chest and his arms came around her waist to hold on tightly. He felt her hands hold his head against her for a second before they began to card through his curls. 

He cried then, releasing the pent up emotion— the heartache of her loss, the fear of going through it again, and the overwhelming relief of her presence. He let it all out as his tears stained her dress. 

All the while, Claire was whispering to him and pressing intermittent kisses to the top of his head. 

“It’s alright,” she was breathing, “I’m here. We’re here. And I’m not going anywhere. Nothing could take me away from you now. Nothing.” 

He found himself squeezing her tighter as he relished her closeness. The scent of her— like roses under the morning dew— filled his senses. It soothed him in a way words never could because it was such a concrete reminder of the reality of her. 

Holding her close, he could dare to breathe. The wall he’d hastily rebuilt in those jarring few minutes where he had thought he’d lost her came down piece by piece. He listened to her heartbeat under his ear and focused on the feeling on her hands running through his hair with such gentleness. 

She was with him. She was safe. 

After a long while, when his tears dried in his eyes and the darkness had faded back into only memory where it had no power, he drew back. 

To his surprise, when he straightened up, he found Claire’s eyes to be red-rimmed and tears leaking down her cheeks. 

“Oh, mo nighean donn.” His heart broke into a million pieces, and this time, he was the one reaching out for her and pulling her against his embrace. 

“I’m alright,” she said, but her voice was choked, “I'm okay.” 

“You dinna have to be okay,” Jamie replied gently as he tightened his arms around her, “ye ken that?” 

She was quiet for a while, seeming like she wasn’t ready to argue with him but also didn’t agree. So, she would need a little prodding… 

“I wasna the only one who had tae face the world alone…” 

Claire shook her head where he had it pressed against him. “But I had something to hold on to, hope for going back. I was on a mission.” 

“That doesna mean ye werena sufferin’,” Jamie countered. 

He felt her resolve weakening. Her tears were wetting his shirt collar and her hands were clutching his sides, betraying the truth of her hardship that she was holding inside herself. 

“I was so scared,” she whispered after a long moment, “so scared that I wouldn’t be able to do it. That it would all be for nothing.” 

He let her speak, stroking his hand over her curls and trying to keep his breathing steady. 

“I thought sometimes… that I wouldn’t be strong enough. And that I would just lay down and never get up again and that would be better than spending another moment without you,” she finally said. 

“You did do it, mo ghraidh,” Jamie responded, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotion, “thank Christ, you did it and you made it back.” It was a wash of relief to say those words, and he hoped Claire felt the same. Or at least that she could feel his relief. 

She didn’t make a move, just quietly rested in his embrace. 

Jamie couldn’t help but speak aloud the guilt that was weighing down his heart. “Your people…” he whispered, his voice low and barely audible, “ye lost your place and your people too. That isna a small matter.” 

“No,” Claire whispered in agreement, and Jamie could feel her heartbreak in the tenseness of her body, “but I would make the same choice over and over again. I belong with you. I wanted to come back more than anything.” 

“Aye,” he had to stop himself as his tongue seem to tie itself together in his mouth, “I ken we’re meant to be together. And I’m so incredibly grateful that ye’re here. I jes’... I dinna want ye to ignore the pain jes’ because you believe it was the right decision.” 

She didn’t speak, but she nodded against his shoulder and her breath began to hitch in small sobs. 

“That’s it, lass,” he gently coaxed, “Let it out. It’s alright.” 

As she cried against him for all she’d lost— for good this time— Jamie allowed his own heart to break with hers. He wept for the pain she’d endured and the bravery she was showing. And he wept for himself too, and for those lost days of his life where he’d lived in despair. 

But in the midst of their weeping, there was a sense of comfort. Jamie no longer cried alone, but with the love of his life wrapped in his arms. 

Despite everything, they both had the promise that they would never be alone again. 

After a long while, after her crying had slowed, his wife looked up at him, drawing back enough to fix her eyes— still glistening with tears— on him. 

“We’re a mess, aren’t we?” she suddenly laughed, reaching up to wipe the moisture from Jamie's cheeks with both thumbs. 

“Aye.” 

He brought his own hands up to frame her face and went to work on clearing the tears tracks. 

And there they sat, clinging to each other as if they might slip away at any moment. But they were together. 

Alive, whole, safe, and together. 

Where the darkness had no place. 

***

A/n: I wanted to greet you guys with some gratuitous fluff after the heartwrenching end to the first arc, but I couldn’t move on before exploring the trauma of the separation. We walked with Jamie through an intense period of grief, and it wouldn’t be right to move on without more closure and dealing with the repercussions for them both. This is by no means the end of their coming to terms with what happened, but it is a promise that they’re moving forward together. So now… how does some fluff next chapter sound, eh?

As always, thank you so much for reading, and an extra thank you for your patience and for sticking around!

***

Next

[crashdevlin]

Swan Song

Author’s Note: This is part Twenty-six of The Best Laid Plans series

Summary: Y/n is living life without marks and without alpha influence...but the End is nigh...sacrifices must be made.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader, mentions of Alpha!Dean x Omega!Lisa

Word count: 3583

Story Warnings:  angst...A/B/O dynamics, canon divergence, mentions of physical violence against the reader, canon major character deaths and resurrections

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, where are we this week, girl? Hawaii, Puerto Rico?" Bobby asked and you smiled, looking around the dirty Canadian dive bar.

"Santo Domingo. Gotta love the Dominican," you lied.

"Where you really?"

You took a drink of your beer and picked at the peeling vinyl of the table top. "Saskatoon. Cursed church bell, drives people to suicide when they hear it."

"Need help?"

"Nah. I've got this. Just need to convince the vicar to let me melt down a bell that's been part of their church since the 1800s. No big deal." You sighed and scratched at your turtleneck. "How are they?"

"Thought you didn't wanna know about them, Y/n."

"Didn't want to be attached to them. Not the same thing."

Bobby sighed. "They took a trip through Heaven a few days ago...got a message from the big man Himself."

"God? They talked to God?" you asked, eyes wide.

"Talked to someone talks to God...and God said they're on their own."

"Sounds like God...handle it yourself but worship me for 'guiding' you." You rolled your eyes. "Sam isn't taking that well, is he?"

"Dean's taking it worse."

"What? Dean doesn't care about God."

"Think it's more that God was the last hope and He ain't playin'. What are we even supposed to do now, right?"

"Right." A hopeless Dean Winchester was a problem. No telling what he might do. “I’m sure everything will work out. If God isn’t worried, then I guess we shouldn’t worry.”

"Well, I hope you're right, Y/n." You nodded. You were hoping the same. "I'll call next time we got something new."

"Okay. Good luck, Bobby."

"You too."

You slid your phone into your pocket and took a drink of your beer. Things would be fine...or they wouldn't. Only time could tell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You didn't answer when the call came in from Dean's number. You didn't answer five minutes later when the call came in from Dean's other number. You pulled off into a gas station when your phone dinged with a voicemail message.

"Shoulda known you wouldn't answer...but I really wanted to hear your voice, Y/n. Guess your outgoing message will have to do." He cleared his throat. "I've been thinking about you since you left. Nothing is ever right when you're gone. I think you need to know that. I know why you left. I know I was never really good at being with you. I didn't give you a reason to stay. I should have. But you...you had to leave. You had to make that hard decision and I love you for that. Nobody wanted you to make that decision, to free us, but it was the right choice and I love that you made it. I love you for calling me out on my bullshit. You always did that for me." He sniffled and you could imagine him wiping at his eyes. "And you always kept tryin', even though I pushed you away all the time. You should have given up on me a long time ago and you didn't. I love you, Y/n. I should have said it a long time ago...but more I should have showed you. I should have showed you."

You wiped at your eyes and bit your bottom lip. "I really hope you got to see the world, but if you're on the home continent…stay away from the Midwest. I don't know how big the fight's gonna get."

"Oh, God. Dean, what are you doing?" you whispered as you clicked out of your voicemail to call him back. He didn't answer. "Damn it, Winchester!" You called his other cell, but still didn't get an answer. So you called John's cell. "Where’s Dean?"

John sighed. "Indiana. He's on the goodbye tour."

You rolled your eyes. Indiana meant Lisa. Of course. "He's going to say 'yes', isn't he? After everything, he's going to give up?"

"We aren't going to let him. Sam, Castiel, and I are on our way to stop him."

"You better. He does not get to give up."

"We won't let him," John promised.

"How?"

"We've got an angel on our side, remember? And Castiel really isn't happy about Dean throwing away his sacrifice. We'll keep him safe."

You let out a sigh of relief and nodded. "Let me know if anything bad-"

"Don't worry. We're gonna take care of him."

"Thank you, John."

"Maybe you should call him, though."

"I tried," you responded. "He didn't answer." You shook your head. "It's fine. Get his head on straight. It'll be okay."

"Right. It'll be okay."

"Bye, John." You hung up and set the phone on the passenger seat. You looked up at the sky through your windshield. "I know you don't care about what your angels are doing, but please don't let Dean say 'yes'. Please. I don't ask for a lot but please give me this."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You should come to Detroit." Bobby's words didn't seem worried. Everything about the tone said it was past time to worry.

"What happened?"

"Sam said 'yes' and-"

"What?!"

"It was supposed to be the end of it, Y/n. He was supposed to get control back from Lucifer and jump into the Cage. It was a good plan. Dean and John even approved it, much as they could, ya know, and it-"

"He really thought he was gonna get control from the Devil? Of course it didn't work!" You ran your hand down your face and dug your fingers into your collarbone through your shirt. "So Lucifer has his perfect vessel...what about Michael? Dean didn’t…"

"No, but John's other son did. Heaven brought Adam back from the dead."

"That was nice of 'em. The dumbass said 'yes' because of course he did. So...the fight is...is happening."

"Yeah." He waited a moment. "Come to Detroit."

You sighed. The End. The end of the fight. The end of trying to stop it. The end of the End. "I'm on my way, Bobby."

There was a dark cloud over the city when you pulled the Firebird in next to the Impala in the alleyway outside their hotel. You could feel the hopelessness in the air as you opened the door Bobby indicated in an earlier text and walked in. Dean's eyes raised to meet yours as Bobby rushed to you and wrapped you in a hug. You dropped your duffel and wrapped the redneck in your arms, happy to see him up out of the wheelchair.

"Since when do you walk again?"

"Oh." He looked down at his body as he stepped back. "Demon deal. Added perk. It's a long story."

"Family tradition, those demon deals. At least you got something good out of it."

"Fer a few days."

You patted his shoulder and smiled. "Comes down to it, all we got is a few days at a time."

Dean stood and stepped toward the doorway. "Hey."

"Hey. I'm sorry...about Sam. I know you were all hoping-"

Dean opened his arms but didn't hug you. He waited for you to step into the embrace, green eyes shining with unshed tears as he waited for you to make your choice. There wasn’t a big choice there. Hold a grudge...or hold the man you love. You stepped into him and wrapped your arms around his chest. His arms closed around you and you felt warmth and anguish in the way he held you. There was pain in his scent, anger and hopelessness, but there was a little niggle of comfort as he pressed his lips to your forehead.

There wasn’t a lot said. It was the first time it really felt like a last night on earth. Even the Angel seemed to recognize that things were done. The fight was over. Everything was about to be over.

“I want you to know,” Dean whispered as the sun started going down.

“I know,” you answered. You knew what he would say. It held different significance on a night like that one.

“No. You don’t. You really don’t know...I’ve apologized for pushin’ you away, Y/n, but I need you to know...I thought I was doing the right thing for you. I love you.”

“Dean. I know. Shhh.”

“You’re everything I ever wanted.”

“Everything you ever wanted Sam to have,” you corrected. “Now, shush.” The silence lasted for a few minutes before Dean left, saying he needed some air.

“We did everything right and it doesn’t even matter in the end,” John said, staring at the ceiling.

“Nah. We didn’t do everything right...and it does matter. What we do is more important than anything.” You sighed and leaned forward, resting your head on your knees. “I should have gone to Thailand.”

“Don’t you want to be here with us in your last moments?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah. But I wish these weren’t the last moments.”

Castiel nodded in agreement, before standing. “We should go down...Dean is-”

“Leaving,” you guessed, rushing down to the alleyway without waiting for the others, approaching as he looked in the trunk of the Impala. “Dean?”

“You goin’ someplace?” Bobby asked. “You’re goin’ to do somethin’ stupid. You got that look.”

“I’m gonna go talk to Sam,” Dean answered, heading for the driver’s door.

“You just don’t give up,” Bobby chastised.

“It’s Sam!”

“If you couldn’t reach him here, you’re certainly not going to be able to on the battlefield,” Castiel tried.

“Well, if we’ve already lost, I guess I got nothing to lose, right?” Dean reasoned.

“Boy, this is a bad idea. I don’t wanna lose both of you,” John said.

Dean shook his head. “Too late.”

“I just want you to understand...the only thing that you’re gonna see out there is Michael killing your brother,” Castiel said.

“Well, then I ain’t gonna let him die alone.”

You watched Dean drive away, knowing that he was on his way to his death. “Fuck. We should follow him, right?”

“No. We need to figure out how to even up the chances a little,” John offered. “Hail Mary brainstorm session. Come on. Let’s do this.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So...we’re all gonna die,” you said, looking around the room. “We are going to this fight...the fight...to pull distraction long enough for Dean to maybe get through to Sam long enough for Sam to sacrifice himself and throw himself and Lucifer into the Cage. We’re going to die.”

Everyone took deep breaths and nodded. “It’s our only shot,” Bobby said. “For the whole planet, Dean is our only shot.”

“And like the boy said...if we’ve already lost, what do we have to lose?” John said.

"Might as well go down doing something potentially beneficial,” you whispered. “Okay...let’s do this.”

Castiel teleported you to Stull Cemetery just in time to hear Dean tell Michael that he needed five minutes with Lucifer. “Hey, assbutt!” Cas called out, holding up his Molotov cocktail of Holy Fire. The bottle exploded as it hit Michael and he went up in flames. The Angel didn’t last long after that. Lucifer didn’t appreciate the Angel from the lower choir ‘dick’ing with Michael. Castiel exploded into blood and chunks of Angel.

Dean demanded Sam’s attention, but only Lucifer could hear. He grabbed Dean, intent to beat him to death, but Bobby shot at the Archangel, which earned him a snapped neck. John launched himself at Lucifer next and he was thrown across the cemetery, hitting a large stone angel statue. Michael reappeared as Lucifer was beating Dean’s face in with Sam’s fists. You grabbed Adam’s jacket, trying to keep Michael from stopping the altercation. Dean was getting through. You could see it in the hesitation on Sam’s face. You couldn’t let Michael stop it.

“You stupid fucking monkey!” Michael growled, wrapping Adam’s hand around your throat. You sputtered and kicked as he clenched his fist around your neck, cutting off your air. The sound your hyoid made when your throat was crushed like a soda can followed you into the darkness.

So did the sound of crickets. But that wasn’t right. There shouldn’t be crickets in Heaven.

Your eyes blinked open slowly, a sky full of stars greeting you before being filled in by the vision of hazel eyes and a smile. “John? Why are you in my Heaven?”

“Not Heaven, kid. We’re alive, Y/n. Castiel brought us back.” He offered you his hand and you sat up, allowing him to pull you to your feet.

“Who brought Cas back?” you asked. “Because didn’t Lucifer blow him to shit?”

“Yeah. Can only assume God brought him back, just like last time he was blown up by an Archangel.”

“Well, that’s...very nice of God considering that he...didn’t want to help.” John nodded, but he seemed distracted as he let his fingers move to encircle your wrist. “What’s wrong?”

“You...smell really good,” he whispered, his cheeks going pink. “I should…” He cleared his throat and stepped back away from you. “Think everything got renewed.”

You reached up and gingerly touched the area where your concave scars were. You were met with plush, plump skin under the fabric of your turtleneck. When you pulled the shirt away from your neck, you were met with completely smooth skin. No marks, no scars. Pristine.

"I'm…"

"Omega again." John licked his lips and stepped further back. “Unmarked, pure omega.”

“I’m...this is insane. I can’t believe he just...made me...a normal omega again.”

John nodded and cleared his throat. “I think it’s a real good thing, don’t you?”

You nodded and smiled. “I think it’s an amazing thing.”

“Why don’t we go ahead and see if we can find Dean.”

You smiled a bit sadly. “I know where Dean is.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Watching Dean through the front window of Lisa Braeden’s Cicero home made your heart crack. The pain was immense, a longing taking up residence in your chest as you watched Dean hold her, his nose buried in the crook of her neck. Scenting her...his omega.

“You could knock,” John suggested, shoving his hands in his jean pockets. You were sure he was trying to keep from physically comforting you. As much as you wanted the comfort, you appreciated John trying to keep his distance more. “You know he’d be happy to see you alive.”

You shook your head. “No. He’s dreamed of this, John. He dreams of her.” You clutched at your shirt collar. You'd changed into a v-neck on the way to Indiana, excited to show Dean but you knew now that it didn't matter. "He deserves her...and the kid...and any kids she might give him of his own. He deserves to be happy. Let's just...let's go."

"Are you sure?" John asked as you turned away.

"My car is in Detroit. Let's go."

You stared out the window as John drove. It was a blow but not one you couldn't overcome. Dean wasn't ever going to be yours and it was best for you to recognize that and move forward. You were a brand new omega. No marks, no scars from cutting the old marks out. No Dean. No Sam. John, well, he was being nice now but it was going to be best for you to stay away from him, too. You would do best by yourself just like you had since you cut your marks out. You were better alone.

"Don't leave yet," John said as he pulled the stolen car in beside your Pontiac. "You should get some sleep. Get a room, get some rest. Don't drive on this."

You reached over and set your hand on his cheek. "Underneath it all, you're a good man, John. I really appreciate it when you let that man out for me." You swiped your thumb across his cheekbone and smiled. "I'll get a room...but not here. Detroit is not a good place...it's where we lost Sam. Get some rest yourself, though."

"You've got my number. If you ever need anything, Y/n, I'll be there."

You nodded and smiled tightly. "I'll try not to need anything." You got out of the car and headed for yours. Maybe you'd actually travel the world this time. Maybe you'd just hunt the same as always. But you were going to try to not need a damn thing.

You drove out of Detroit and headed South, not stopping until your eyes began to vibrate with lack of sleep. You pulled over into a rest stop and turned off the car, lying the seat back and curling up on your side, waiting for sleep to take you.

Dean would be happy. That was the important thing. Dean was going to be happy with his normal life and you could be happy saving lives...without an alpha. Without anyone. Just you and the road and a good hunt...until you died.

You dreamed of Dean. You dreamed of taking Lisa's place in the normal life...so that you could be what Dean deserved. But even in your dream, Dean made excuses. "I love you...but I can't mark you." "I love you but I can't be with you." "I love you but…"

You blinked your eyes open a few hours later and gasped to see a figure in your passenger seat. You sat up and stared wide-eyed at Sam. "Am I still asleep?"

"Well, I'm not Dean so I'm guessing you're awake."

You ignored the gut shot about Dean and reached into the back, quickly splashing holy water on him and waiting for the sizzle that never came. You pulled your silver knife next and Sam dutifully offered his hand. "Why do you idiots always go for the most nerve-heavy extremity when getting cut? Take the jacket off and give me your bicep or roll your damn pant leg up, you jerk," you snapped. Sam just smirked as he pulled his jacket and flannel off. You were really expecting him to burn with the silver but he didn’t...and moreover, he smelled like Sam. He was not a ghoul. You laughed as you dropped the knife in the center console. "How in the world did you get out of the Cage? I know how hard it is to get out of Hell, but you went into Lucifer’s Cage."

"Can't tell ya." Sam shook his head. "Just woke up in Stull Cemetery, went to check on Dean, saw you and Dad...decided to follow you."

"Why didn't you say something in Cicero?" you asked, analyzing Sam's face. He seemed off. Why would he follow you instead of talking to you and John? Talking to Dean?

"You were with Dad...and I could smell you from across the street, Y/n...I knew you came back all new and improved. Wanted to see what you would do about that. Turns out...nothing."

"You didn't tell Dean you're back?"

"Neither did you." Sam tilted his head and smirked. "He thinks we're both dead...and that means he's gonna stay in Cicero with Lisa. He's going to live a normal life with a normal woman. He's not going to die on some job before he reaches forty. He deserves that...and that's why neither of us knocked on that door."

"So, you're just gonna dive back into the work headfirst and...forget about Dean?"

"Forget? No. But I'm going to leave him the Hell alone. He left me alone at Stanford for years until Dad disappeared and Jess died. Don't you think he deserves the same treatment?"

You looked away and pulled your seat up straight. "Of course he does. He deserves everything.”

“So, we’re going to let him have it, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

Sam reached out and set his hand on your knee. “And we can have what we deserve.”

You looked down at his hand, disgust filling you. “Remove it, or I will remove it for you.”

“Come on. You don’t really have a reason to deny me. Not with Dean with Lisa.”

You reached down and pulled his hand off of you. “Dean is not the reason I denied you, Sam. Why are we backtracking here? You seemed to understand this before.”

“We had fun before, didn’t we?” Sam asked.

“It doesn’t matter if we had fun...because the fun stopped mattering as soon as you marked me.” The discomfort you were feeling in his presence made you slip your hand under your seat and pick up your pistol. “You were going to rape me, Sam. That kinda ruins any future fun.”

“You would have liked it, Y/n. I wasn’t planning to hurt you too much.”

Having him admit to it so nonchalantly, with a smirk on his lips, filled you with an angry fear. He didn’t even seem to care. It was worse than when he was hopped up on demon blood. You pulled the pistol out and pointed it at Sam’s temple. “Get the fuck out of my car, Winchester.”

He chuckled and put his hands up. “I’ll see you when you get your panties out of that twist, Y/n.” He backed out of the car and turned, a bit of a skip in his step as he walked away. You hit the lock on your doors and turned the engine over. You’d have to do your best to avoid the resurrected Winchester...just like his father...just like his brother. Best to stay alone. Best to get away.

~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

[hufflesight]

Team - inej x fem!reader

Description: The reader is a squaller. On a mission, she almost kills Inej, before revealing her feelings for the other girl.

(ignore any spelling/grammar mistakes, I wrote this at 11pm lol)

(I apologize for it being so gendered; I want to write in second person, but for this I'm just going to stick with 3rd)

Warnings: Brief mentions of death, y'know regular soc stuff

Words: 1960

Wait 'til you're announced

We've not yet lost all our graces

Y/n stood nervously, edging further and further away from the center of the ballroom, where couples spun in dresses so vibrant she was getting dizzy. She found herself cursing Kaz Brekker, the reason she was here, for the third time that evening.

She looked at her simple blue shoes, trying to notice any details she could in an effort to keep calm, while still keeping her senses sharp, in order to catch Kaz's signal. A minute or two later, after realizing that repeating blue. dirty. boring. over and over in her head might not be helping, she looked away from the stolen slippers she wore. Her gaze drifted, and she began to trace the lines between floorboards further and further away from her, counting every time the gap got wider or a new board started.

The hounds will stay in chains

Suddenly, she felt a prickling sensation on the back of her neck, in the same fashion as what one gets when being stared at. Glancing up, she saw man several feet in front of her, and as their eye contact locked she got the sense he she wasn't supposed to be here.

Her heartrate was so loud and fast at the moment she knew Nina must notice, even if the heartrender was out of sight, hidden outside the entrance to the room.

But thinking about her friends wouldn't get her out of this situation. The man, who was almost certainly an undercover guard, was talking to her. steeling herself one last time, she spoke up, hoping her voice wasn't wavering or cracking.

"I'm sorry sir, I couldn't hear you. Could you repeat that? The music is so loud. Speaking of which, who's playing? I'd love to ask them to play at my favor-"

Her unsubtle attempt to control the conversation clearly hadn't worked, as the guard instantly interrupted her.

"I've seen you before. you run with the Dreg's don't you? That damned Brekker, always trying to get his dirty hands on whatever's not his. Well, this time, why don't you tell him it's not going to work. There's no way he's getting to that ring, especially if all he can throw at us is some weak little girl like yourself."

Despite the blood pounding through her ears, Y/n had to bite back a smile. The one thing she always had to her advantage was how gladly people were to underestimate her. Well, if she could just stall him for a couple minutes, she'd show him just how "weak" she was.

"I- I don't know what you're talking about! Wait.. Brekker? Is he here? Oh god, he's going to blow this whole place up! I need to find... find my friend... where is he?"

"You're not fooling anyone. I need to escort you out. We don't allow street rats in here." The look he shot her filled her insides with a combination of dread and anger. If Kaz didn't let the others in soon.. she didn't know what would happen.

"No, sir please, my friend, I- I can't leave without him... please-"

Look upon 'your greatness' and he'll

Send the call out, send the call out

She was rescued from the humiliating pleading by a loud boom that filled the room.

Everything was silent.

Then the noise erupted.

And in the center of the room stood Kaz Brekker himself. How he'd gotten there without anyone noticing, Y/n would never understand.

The man who was previously so invested in her swore loudly and gave her one last glance, before deciding Kaz was the bigger threat and running toward him. Thankfully, he didn't obscure Y/n's view of the center of the floor, as just then, Kaz hit the ground twice with his cane. A simple action, but exactly what Y/n had been waiting for. She raised her hands, and let the power rush out, the familiarity of the action finally calming her nerves. If there was one thing she knew she had control over, it was her small science.

Air began racing towards the entrance of the room and clearing the smoke, pushing it from the doorway and instead in intricate patterns decided by the subtle twist's of Y/n's fingers.

Finally, the entryway was fully visible. And there stood the four other other crows.

The screaming intensified, and dozens of guards began running toward them

Call all the ladies out

They're in their finery

A hundred jewels on throats

While the other three blinked, clearing their eyes, Inej jumped right into action, running straight over to Y/n. She was simply dressed in her classic black outfit, yet Y/n couldn't tear her eyes away. Her partner --her friend-- would never stop catching her gaze. After all, the Wraith was the most beautiful person Y/n had ever seen. It got harder each day to not spill all her feelings on the floor in front of Inej, but the reminder of how their connection would likely be severed if she did forced her mouth shut. Years of built trust was worth hiding this one thing, right?

"Y/n?" Inej's voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah?" She internally cringed as to how flat the response sounded.

"Nothing, you just seemed like were thousands of stars away from here. Are you okay?" The genuine worry in her voice pulled at Y/n's heartstrings.

"Yeah, I'm fine." The lie hurt to tell. She wasn't fine, she was inches from everything she wanted in the world but couldn't reach out to take it. "Is everyone else ready?"

"I think so, but it'd be good to double check."

A hundred jewels between teeth

Looking around, Mathias's large frame was easy to spot. He appeared to be body shielding the smaller frame of Nina, whose hands were raise, the clear source of the fallen bodies all around the dance floor.

Nina caught her gaze and nodded once before returning to deal with the guard attempting stab Matthias.

Now bring my boys in

Turning to the left, she spotted Jesper, grinning with guns out, and Wylan crouching behind him, quickly readying another bomb. Jesper also nodded at her, not missing a shot while he did so. Wylan stood, bomb ready, the final cue.

Their skin in craters like the moon

The moon we love like a sister

Y/n turned back to the girl next to her.

"You ready?" She asked Inej, the adrenaline of the moment piping hot through her veins along with the power itching to be released.

"Ready."

"Alright... GO!"

While she glows through the room

I'm kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air

Inej jumped into the air, barely starting to fall before a large gust of wind blew her back up. She rose, righting herself midair until it appeared she was walking on nothing. In reality, far below her, Y/n was sending gust after gust, fighting hard against the gravity persistent to bring Inej down. But Y/n won. She always did in the end.

Whenever she and Inej worked together, she felt like she was the one rising, lifting above the ground. Though her feet were planted firmly on the floor, her mind was up there next to the person she was closest to in the world, feeling what she felt and predicting her next move.

that's what 3 years of practice had given the pair of them: the synchronization they needed without any communication.

That was what Y/n was terrified they'd lose if she dared reveal her feelings.

So there

So all the cups got broke

Shards beneath our feet

But it wasn't my fault

In perfect tandem, Inej's feet and Y/n's wind worked their way over to their goal: the balcony overlooking the ballroom, where the ring was proudly displayed, reflecting the lights of the chandeliers everywhere. There were only two guards there, since the rest were on the stairs. They'd made the naïve mistake of assuming the crows were restricted by gravity.

They weren't.

And now Inej was simply pulling out her daggers, and the two guards dropped swiftly to the floor.

Y/n grinned as she saw Inej's hand wrap around the ring.

Everything had worked perfectly: Kaz as a red herring to draw the ground guards away from herself, Nina, Matthias, Wylan and Jesper ensuring their safety, and Inej quietly stealing their future 120,000 kruge.

But then a hand wrapped around her mouth, as a second held her hands back.

We live in cities you'll never see on-screen

Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run things

"I knew you were one of them. But a grisha too? It'll be a blessing to kill you."

The voice filled her with pure dread. It was the man from before. He'd given up on Kaz. He'd come for her. And he had her hands.

Y/n had never been a fighter, never been able to defend herself without her power. It was her biggest weakness, and this man had just exploited it.

She screamed for any other crow's attention, but the hand covering her mouth muffled any noise.

"No, your friends aren't going to help you. This time, it's just you and me."

Living in ruins of a palace within my dreams

Except it wasn't, and that was the worst part. Inej couldn't see the predicament Y/n was in. Inej would assume everything and-- Inej would jump. But Y/n wouldn't be able to catch her.

In front of her eyes that exact thing happened. The world slowed down, ad Y/n saw in excruciating detail as Inej's feet left the ground, her hand still wrapped tight around the ring. She screamed again, this time not just out of fear but with the effort she was putting into trying to escape.

"Oh, I know just what you're trying to do. And guess what--" He whispered the next part directly into her ear, "It won't work. I'm going to make you watch, as her bones shatter one by one, before my men shoot her. Then I'll kill you."

The idea of that scenario coming to fruition was the last straw. A sudden energy rushed through her, strength coming from the pure fear of watching the girl she loved die.

She loved Inej. And so she would save Inej.

And you know we're on each other's team

In contrast to the slow motion of Inej's fall, Y/n's actions were a blur. She kicked ferociously behind her, finally hitting a part of the man's figure. It turned out to be his leg, which was knocked out from under him so violently his grip on her hands loosened. Using the second of weakness, Y/n shoved her hands free. She only took one or two steps, barely stepping out of the man's reach, before raising her hands up, raw power unleashed from the tips of her fingers.

She slowed Inej's fall mere inches from the ground.

Sprinting over, Y/n was filled with pure fear. What if something had gone wrong? What if Inej was hurt?

What if she was dead?

"But when she reached the girl, the Wraith's eyes were open, full of life.

"Inej I'm- I'm so sorry I shouldn't've-- I shouldn't--" Y/n couldn't even get a full sentence out before tears began to leak from her eyes.

"You caught me. You have nothing to be sorry about. Your power is... no, you are amazing, Y/n. You should know that." Inej's hand raised, resting lightly on Y/n's cheek.

Damn their connection. Inej had almost dies. Y/n couldn't live with herself if that had happened when there was still a secret between them.

We're on each other's team

"Inej... I- I love you. I just need you to know that"

Inej smiled.

"I love you too."

[greenhappyseed]

Hello!! It's me again!! Thank you for answering my ask 💜 Can I give a follow-up question?? Back in Ch.318, Second was giving a side-eye when the "bolster" thing came up, but in Chapter 321, his eyes are now closed when the "bolster" line repeated.

Basing on what you said, if second is looking for soldier heroes to support Izuku, then this would seem that he's satisfied by Class A?? If the closed eyes is an indication of relief/satisfaction??

If that's the case then Second must be looking for more people when Katsuki arrived in Ch. 318. But do you think there's more to that side-eye??

I may he delusional but I honestly believe that there's something more to that Ch. 318 Katsuki panel. Hori wouldn't give it too much focus if it was for nothing (unless it's just Katsuki fanservice 😂 I won't complain if that's only it tbh).

Do you think Second is skeptical about Katsuki specifically??

There are already two times where Izuku lost control of OFA and went feral because of his emotions.

The first one is back at the JT arc where BW first manifested. It went berserk because he lost control of his emotions and got angry.

2nd is Danger Sense manifestation. Izuku went insane feral to the point that he ALMOST lost OFA right then and there if it wasn't for the interference of the Vestiges.

Interesting to note is that Katsuki is always at the center of these events.

I've already read analysis saying that Katsuki may have become a berserk button/last straw for Izuku. So if we think of it that way, maybe that side-eye means he isn't happy to see Katsuki, but when the whole class arrived he's now more relaxed ??

We still know little to nothing about 2nd, and he physically looks like Katsuki. They also kind of share the same mindset (2nd's "winning despite casualties" and Katsuki's "winning with zero casualties")

And so I really believe that something is bound to happen with second and Katsuki.

What are your thoughts on this specifically?? Do you think this is gibberish or not??

That’s a really good question! I don’t think it’s gibberish at all!

If Second is feeling shaky about Izuku’s odds of success, and wants to bolster him with people who are willing and able to keep up with him, then Second wants (1) forces, not just one person; and (2) people that won’t distract Izuku from the mission. As you pointed out, Izuku going feral and losing control of his heart puts him at risk of losing OFA, since OFA was born from — and continues to obey — a strong will. If Izuku is the last chance to defeat AFO, then Second wants Izuku’s will to remain strong and under control. Like it or not, Izuku is the “chosen one” on the hero side that (as far as we know) holds the power to defeat AFO. (Realistically, I think Izuku + Tomura will need to work together to stop AFO, with support from 1A, the LOV, All Might, and the pro heroes, but that’s a different topic!!)

To your q about something happening between Second and Katsuki, I agree it does seem there’s more going on. Second bears a physical resemblance to Katsuki, and Yoichi bears a physical resemblance to Izuku (green eyes, functionally quirkless, lives in a fantasy world of comic superheroes). Attitude-wise, Second and Katsuki focus on winning while Yoichi and Izuku focus on saving. Second has Third as a follower, while Yoichi has a “squad” with Nana and All Might. So, there are lots of different ways Katsuki could come into play:

It could foreshadow Katsuki learning to become a good leader while still supporting Izuku like how Second supported Yoichi and they worked together. More “Get behind the nerd” and less “Get behind ME, nerd.”

You’re right that Second could be wary of Katsuki as a “berserk” trigger for Izuku. Erupting into DvK3 at the wrong moment could certainly distract Izuku and create an opening for AFO. Or if Katsuki is a “known” vulnerability for Izuku then KATSUKI could become AFO’s target.

There are LOT of times when AFO and Katsuki are close to each other, with AFO knowing Katsuki’s name and touching Katsuki (warping in Kamino; stabbing in the war). If Second was watching everything through Izuku’s eyes, he might be suspicious AFO has some kind of control over Katsuki and can use him like a spy/Trojan horse.

OFA was “truly born” when Second rescued Yoichi from AFO’s imprisonment. That could foreshadow Katsuki rescuing Izuku from imprisonment or possession by AFO (or by OFA, if it’s truly cursed — this could make Izuku/OFA an “enemy” to Katsuki that he nonetheless must extend a hand to save).

….or it could foreshadow the DEATH of OFA, with Katsuki rescuing Izuku (the person) at the end of the final battle. I suspect that Katsuki and All Might will work together somehow; like Katsuki will help Izuku & Tomura in the physical world and All Might will help them in the vestige world.

It could also be something we have yet to learn! Hori loves the slow reveal, giving us crumbs of info over dozens of chapters. We could suddenly get a flashback full of vestige backstories — or nothing. It’s the thrill and agony of being a BnHA fan.

[pocketramblr]

I've noticed after a while (and many posts) that you include Fuyumi-trying-not-to-resemble-her-mother in many of your tags, and I really want to hear your thoughts on that whole character dynamic. Or how you headcannon Fuyumi in general, I'd just like to know more and I haven't seen a lot of people delve into her character. It's always one of the brothers.

*vibrates at a totally normal speed* I would love to talk about Fuyumi yes

Warning: the following headcanons contain a decent bit of projecting. Is it me being a teacher? An eldest daughter? My complicated relationship with the idea of a "traditional family"? Probably all of it

First, if you don't mind a plug, I wrote a oneshot that has like 90 percent of all my fuyumi headcanons in it, The Walls Are Thin, and so. Obvious my headcanon that she's Touya's younger twin has been disproven but I like it a lot so,,, I don't care

So, there are some things about Fuyumi that didn't make it into the anime- manga!Yumi has blue eyes like Enji and Touya, and her arm was also bandaged in the flashback soccer scene when Shoto is talking about their abusive childhood which is very interesting to me.

Now, as for Fuyumi and Rei- I don't think Fuyumi hates her mother. I don't even think she hates her mother but is ok with full reconciliation like she is with her father. But I do think they have a very complicated relationship. Rei was institutionalized when Fuyumi was eleven, and from that moment on Fuyumi basically had to take over the raising of her brothers. Fuyumi lost her mother at eleven and then had to become one herself, because Rei burned her littlest brother.

Fuyumi was a child- and here's the thing. Rei's breakdown was sudden, but not surprising. She looked bad in the flashback right before it, she was begging her own mother for help. She looked sleep deprived and skittish. So even before Rei was sent away, I don't know how much she was actually mothering Fuyumi. Shoto can't really tell us that, and Fuyumi... Doesn't seem to want to think much on her past or give flashbacks to the two of them. So when Fuyumi is eleven, is ten, is nine- she's seeing this happen to her mother as a process. Rei is fading away, and Fuyumi is right at the age to actually begin to sort of understand it and be scared.

Shoto is aware that the marriage was motivated primarily to get a quirk like his. I see no reason that Fuyumi would be unaware of this ether, even when she was younger.

A lot of mental health problems can be hereditary- I remember my mother talking to me about her health history and her own mom's health history bc there's a looooot of problems there lol but Fuyumi didnt get that. She got to see her mother stuck in a hospital for a decade for a breakdown. She got to learn in school that those kinds of things can be passed down to children just like quirks. I'd bet anything that Fuyumi is terrified of having a breakdown like that. Of being like her mother- someone who cared for children that she couldn't protect from Enji for ten years or so, then being locked away when she finally snapped.

There's also her status as only daughter- besides the fact that all the wifely duties were put on her, there are still more expectations. Touya is dead, Natsuo is so ignored he didn't need to be disowned, Shoto is primed only to be one thing: the number one hero. Fuyumi, who has been mothering since she was eleven, would be looked to first for grandchildren.

This isn't to say that Enji ever expressed a single care about that- I doubt he did. But Fuyumi's grandmother was seen in some early flashbacks. I'm not sure if that was Rei or Enji's mother, but either way... Well, she'd certainly talk about how pretty she was. How sweet. How good to her brothers now that her poor mother is away. How obedient a daughter. And even if this grandmother doesn't talk about a quirk marriage explicitly, Fuyumi knows that she either raised a man who looked for one by the age of twenty, or was wholly complicit in her daughter getting one.

Even if, logically, Fuyumi knows her father wouldn't arrange her one- either because she's more useful at the house, or he doesn't pay enough attention, or he's going through a post Kamino character development- there's the fact that she also knows It's Not Impossible. She knows that if her family is as high up as it is and utterly rotten inside, there could be lots of people like that in their social circles. There could be someone who has that sort of interest in her.

Anyway, all that gives Fuyumi some very, very complicated feelings on motherhood and marriage. I don't think she wants either. Ever. She's a teacher, so she likes to work with kids- but we know a part of that is to make up for not being able to help her little brothers. She's full of guilt. I don't think she'd ever be interested in romance or anything else with a man, after seeing how it turned on and utterly broke Rei. And while I do sometimes have Fuyumi as lesbian, I also really think she might be aroace. This adds fun spice where she asks herself things like "wait is this just my trauma or my actual identity" and haha same I'm sorry I project on her a lot anyway sorry Fuyumi,,, you deserve a happy life. A normal life. But you don't get one ♥️

And the normal life thing- that's because Fuyumi is tired. She's tired of being a mother to her brothers. She's tired of having the responsibility of parenting without any of the power or control. She wants to be treated like a normal daughter and sister. And that can't happen if her brothers, esp Natsuo who she saw even more, keeps fully crediting his raising to her. Even if it's the truth, and even if Natsuo loves their mother and had no problem with her- he certainly wouldn't claim Rei influenced him more than Fuyumi did. That's why she's so desperate specifically for him to reconcile.

And she did see Natsuo more- but I think Fuyumi is also very close to Shoto. Closer than he thinks. Not just because her first two appearances are just her trying to protect Shoto by warning him when Enji is pissed off or when he will be, though that certainly helps- she's rather attuned to that stuff, and at least sorta used to Shoto sometimes listening to her about that kind of advice. But Shoto is being shaped deliberately to basically be Enji 2.0 . He has no choice but to be a hero. He has no choice but to train hard and get strong. He's supposed to beat All Might in a rivalry. All that stuff. Fuyumi, likewise, is shaped to be Rei 2.0. Take care of the children. Be soft. Not cut out for heroics. Not able to stop Enji from doing anything. Support Shoto. Cook. Clean. Take over when the housekeeper leaves, because why hire another one when there's a fourteen, fifteen, sixteen year old who can do it? Don't go to anyone for help, because no one who can help you will believe you or want to help you.

Shoto is supposed to succeed where Endeavor failed against All Might.

Fuyumi is supposed to succeed where Rei failed in going against Enji.

And all this, in a house where "like Rei" is an insult that her father shouts- to have her mother's constitution is a terrible thing. It's why her first two brothers were failures. Being "like Rei" means you are weak, and useless, and going to break down, going to be sent away.

And Fuyumi is supposed to be "like Rei", but without any of those bad parts.

Anyway wow this is such a long post.

That's why I think Fuyumi has a complicated relationship with her mother and with her appearance! If Fuyumi had been a boy, there always would have been a housekeeper there. She could have been a big brother- a big brother overly relied on, yes, but not a father. Fuyumi is not a boy. She is "like Rei." She is like Rei, who poured boiling water on a child because he had red hair, and a blue eyes.

So I think Fuyumi looks in the mirror, and sees red lines in her hair, and blue eyes behind glasses that neither of her parents need. And I think she keeps her hair shorter than Rei, and doesn't let it hang long like her mother prefers. And I think Fuyumi looks in the mirror, and sees that she's not just exactly like one or the other of her parents- and I think she says "thank God"