#choromatsu angst

[thebardisabird]

I've been on a little thought train of s/o's learning each others cultures so I gotta know your take on how the matsus would react to their s/o saying "I love you" in Japanese 💙

Hi my friend, I know you're taking a break from Ososan right now, but I was feeling a type of way about this prompt and wanted to answer this. I hope it's okay if we kind of go the route of this being the first time you say it to them. Lots of fluff, and a little bit of angst here and there but they all end happily! Under the cut!

Osomatsu would actually panic, completely bypassing the fact that you're actually learning his mother tongue. Though he presents himself as a very carefree kind of guy, the idea of love - real, true love, is a very deep feeling that he's a little afraid of facing. He may slip up and say something less graceful like "Same!" or "Me too!" and quite frankly he won't understand your disappointment at first. But after discussing it with his brothers, who all tell him he's a fucking MORON for responding that way, he actually does some real introspective work and realizes that's he's being incredibly dumb for not being able to say it back off the bat. Of course he loves you. So the next time he sees you, he'll ask you nonchalantly to repeat that new phrase you learned recently, and with some hesitance you do. He smirks with some softness, faces you, and repeats your words back to you.

Karamatsu sings your praises of learning Japanese, knowing very well that you both are trying to learn each others' language. It will take him a minute to register exactly what you've said, but when it does, he pauses. His face is blank for a second; at first you think you've said something wrong (or possibly even said it too soon), but then you see the tears corner in his eyes. Now he has you panicking, but he takes your hands before you even know what to do with them. He'll ask you "...Me?...Are you sure?" and it reminds that you that for as confident as he seems, Karamatsu does have his insecurities. It almost breaks your heart at his question of disbelief. But you reassure him, hand to his cheek and say it again. To which he wilts, letting a tear or two fall as he takes you in his arms and tells you how happy he is you feel the same.

Choromatsu is so excited that you're learning more and more phrases! He understands that Japanese isn't an easy language to learn so he's very keen on helping you out as much as possible. Like his older brother however, he too doesn't realize what you'd said right away. His face immediately drops into that signature blank Matsuno stare when it registers. He promptly grabs some q-tips, fiercely cleaning his ears before insisting he heard you wrong and asking you to repeat yourself. When you attempt to he screams for you to stop, "I'M NOT READY, WAIT WAIT WAIT!" and he turns his back to you, face in hands. It goes on this way for a few minutes before you decided to tell him to forget what you said - clearly what you've said bothers him. Surprisingly he grasps your hand before you can turn away, his grip unsure, but still clasped around you. "Me too...I...love you too." His back is still turned to you as he says this, but you can hear it in his voice that he's sincere. What you don't see is the half-lidded gaze of relief under his palm, and the cherry red blush dusting his cheeks.

Ichimatsu right away is taken aback by your words. So much so that his hand comes to his drumming chest in an act to stop his heart from beating out of his ribcage. He backs away from you, looking almost insulted. There's a very clear internal struggle within him as he can't properly process your words of affection. So instead, he runs. Undoubtedly you're confused and a little upset, not quite expecting him to turn tail on you at your exclamation of love in his native language. You know Ichimatsu well enough to know that what he needs most is space. The rest of the day the poor fourth born needs to constantly be held at bay from bashing his head through the walls of the Matsuno household. All of his siblings reassure him that he can still fix things. How could he run from you when you told him you loved him? He felt like the scum of the earth. Would you even forgive him? Of course you wouldn't, who was he kidding. The chatter of self-depreciation drowned out his thoughts so deafeningly that he hadn't even realized you had made your way to his home. It wasn't until your arms had circled around his back and your chin tucked at his shoulder that he was shaken back to presence; and then it hits him. You love him. You love him. You spend time with him. You make him laugh. In your arms he feels relaxed, safe even. How could he...? His forehead leans wearily against your shoulder. You begin to apologize for making uncomfortable, but before more than a few words escape you he cuts you off with his own expression of love. It's quiet and muffled, but you hear him. The sweet silence that follows is filled with nothing but comfort.

Jyushimatsu basically shouts about how really good your pronunciation is! He's happy that you're learning Japanese as he wants to be able to have full conversations with you as much as he can. He's not aloof however, he knows exactly what you said. That's why in less than a minute you're lifted into his arms, being tossed ceremoniously a few times before your face is littered with kisses. His normally bright personality shines at another level at your loving words. He presses a few more kisses to your face before exclaiming that he loves you the same in Japanese alongside you. It's an exchange that leaves you both feeling on cloud nine for the remainder of the day.

Todomatsu opens his mouth to say something, but instead tries to bite back an overjoyed smile. Deciding to be cheeky he responds with, "I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you, can you say that again?" You think at first he actually didn't hear what you said you repeat yourself, but after he asks you to reiterate what you said, you quickly catch on. That doesn't deter you though and you play him at his own game. It doesn't take long before he ends up almost as pink as his wardrobe, laughing softly before he stops you from repeating yourself one more time. Instead he asks you out of the blue if you want to take a selfie with him. You're caught off guard by the request, but you oblige, posing with him. Just before he snaps the pic, you feel lips press to your cheek. In the softest voice he can muster he whispers his own words of affection in Japanese. When he pulls away it's your turn to wear some color on your cheeks whilst Todomatsu raves about how adorable your selfie came out.

[laurzvahll]

mm some doodles of an au that im still cooking in my head it is not fully baked yet

[oh-gh0st]

angel killer au makes me. think really hard

[foamy-germs]

Intro + Masterlist 💞

Preferably do read through all of this! I’d appreciate it!

- ⭐️ -

Intro (Masterlist under the cut)

Heyo! I’m Alex, I joined tumblr a good while ago, but never really had the courage to post much. Until now!

My pronouns are He/Him, and my account is absolutely a safe space for LGBTQ+ folks!

For safety, I won’t share my age. Regardless, I’ll block any weird dms.

On the topic of DMs, any messages or asks simply saying “hi” might not be answered 😭 they make me anxious.

- ⭐️ -

Masterlist

I’ll currently only do SFW requests. Suggestive ones are okay, but I won’t do straight up smut at this time.

Requests: Open! (Currently very inactive as of May 2024, however working to get back into it now that I've graduated.)

Spiderverse trilogy

Peter B. Parker

Miguel O’Hara

Spider Noir

The Spot/Johnathon Ohnn (Pre- and post-collider)

Web Slinger

Hobie Brown (Strictly non-sexual)

Mob Psycho 100

Reigen Arataka

Serizawa Katsuya

Mr. Osomatsu (No ships)

Osomatsu

Karamatsu

Choromatsu

Ichimatsu

Jyushimatsu

Todomatsu

Totoko

Team Fortress 2 (No ships)

Spy

Scout

Heavy

Medic

Engineer

Demoman

Pyro

Sniper

Soldier

Call of Duty

Task Force 141 (MW2 2009 & 2019)

Lupin III franchise

Arséne Lupin III

Daisuke Jigen

Goemon Ishikawa

Fujiko Mine

Inspector Zenigata

Hunter x Hunter

Leorio

Kurapika

Illumi

Wing

Chrollo

Feitan

Shalnark

My Hero Academia

Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead

Hizashi Yamada/Present Mic

Toshinori Yagi/All Might (both forms)

Taishiro Toyomitsu/FatGum

Keigo Takami/Hawks

Nemuri Kayama/Midnight

Jin Bubaigawara/Twice

Dabi

Tomura Shigaraki (please specify which season/version)

Spooky Month

Bob Velseb

Frank

Lila

Jaune

Aaron

Skiddad / Simon

Rick

Carmen

Streber

Kevin

Villainous

Dr. Flug

Cecelia/Miss Heed

Can do:

Fluff

Scenarios/Imagines

Oneshots

Ships

x reader

Headcanons

[some] Angst

Suggestive requests (this does have a limit! and I will reject requests I’m uncomfortable with.)

Can’t/Will NOT do:

Smut

Proship

Anything political

(I will add to this as time passes.)

Disclaimers:

If I find a request uncomfortable to fulfill, I will reject it.

If some things have certain disclaimers (such as TF2 with ‘no ships’), it is because I’m not comfortable exploring writing with that specific topic for the fandom.

For characters, like Hobie, I may refuse various topics for them for various reasons. For Hobie specifically, his age is unconfirmed and constantly debated.

Do keep in mind that I’m a student with a job and family, and some requests may take a while. I tend to revise my stories multiple times over 😭.

Update on this section: I've graduated! Currently job searching like crazy and also prepping for college, however tryna get back into the swing of things now that I have some free time.

Of course, if something isn't listed here, feel free to ask! There's a multitude of fandoms I find myself interested in.

However, feel free to ask if I can write something! I’ll almost always say yes.

[mramur]

someone said this already, but maybe karamatsu's faith in ichi is because he encouraged him the same during their hs, but since ichimatsu hate being reminded of his "try hard" era he thought kara was teasing him.

that or ichimatsu just can't stand people in the same position like him acting proper like normal person would (choromatsu acting serious, and karamatsu being kind)

(he really dont call the suiriku duo niisan lmfao. And osomatsu being his respected "niisan" cz hes the one Ichi thought could understand their status as neet)

iromatsu is super nice to use as angst content man.

anw i like every time ichimatsu addressing kara or choro with their name instead of nickname in s3.

probably bcs those eps with nenchuu and the movie made him understand them more somehow.

[inkyycapp]

Yo! My fav is personally Ichimatsu and the idea of both he and his s/o having to 'be good enough' (for the other) as something both of the people struggle with appeals to me on insane levels. Mmmmyes.. having depression is a bitch lmaoo.

But like. The whiplash both get when it gets into an almost... Competition?? As the two keep trying to be like "WELL! I got problem x y and z! So!! That's why YOU'RE perfect and too good for me!!" Until they both get sick of hearing the other bring themselves down and just.. tiredly. Probably with sore throats and puffy eyes. Just agree that they both just love each other and... go and take a nap together. Agreeing that this doesn't solve the clear deep rooted issues that are there for the both. But that they can at least agree to treat themselves better for the the sake of the other, even if it'll get tough.

But I'm sure this type of situation could also apply to Osomatsu, Choromatsu, and possibly?? Karamatsu. Ultimately this is definitely on the heavier side so if that's not your vibe rn that's super chill. But just thought to throw this in here. Ok BYEEE ‼️

OH SO YOU WENT PESONAL.. I SEE HOW IT IS. ON THE OTHER HAND BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS BRAVO !!! I'M STEALING THIS THANK YOU ANON !! EXPECT SOME ANGST LATER THANK YOOOOOU<33

[malaierba]

I'm thinking 🥺 about Time & Time Again and I'm thinking of everything that must've happened between chapter 30 and chapter 31

Karamatsu promised a bunch of people that he'd tell everyone everything that happened in detail on Sunday. Did he?

He offhandedly, accidentally, let Osomatsu (+ company) know that he had killed himself in front of his family in one of the loops. Did they talk about that?

In some of the loops, Choromatsu and Totty were a support of sorts, even if they were never THAT privy to the whole situation. I wonder if he ever let them know. Maybe he thanked them?

I wonder if he ever apologised to Choromatsu for the bathroom scene. Okay, actually I'm obsessed with that negl, I keep thinking about ways where it'd come up, etc etc I have a soft spot for the green and blue duo I'm the problem it's me 💀

I think so much about Karamatsu holding a shaking Osomatsu that just saved him, the both of them shaking together, I think about midnight of Sunday arriving and Karamatsu watching the clock, and leftover apprehension turning to relief and the realisation that he's free, he's free, HE'S FREE, and the overwhelming rush of everything that's flood him after that

I think of him meeting his brothers and hugging them LOL I think very seriously!!! About him sleeping 🤨

I think about Totoko, her resolve God her RESOLVE, her ambition! And pragmatism! She wanted something and she was self-assured enough to know that wanting it wasn't selfish, or maybe it was, but it wasn't bad, it wasn't immoral, the problem was the obsessive fan, and if anyone was to give up anything it had to be him. it HAD to be him, nothing else made sense. Man I want to be more like Totoko. And I think and mourn a little all the timelines where she figured out the concert execution alongside Karamatsu, all the little moments that were lost, like painting their nails and figuring out how to get him home safe. I hope they get to talk about it too. Their friendship?? My eyes: opened.

I think about if Ichimatsu ever found himself missing Karamatsu's purple prose lol, the joy I get out of the purple man caring about Karamatsu's cringiness against his will. Suffer.

I've also been playing with the idea of the TLs not being completely lost, but rather parts and bits of them sometimes making their way into the subconscious of those involved. Mostly through dreams. Of course that's just me coming up with convenient plot devices to enable angst, who would've thought I love pain and suffering???

I know this author wrote another ososan long fic and I can't wait to get my hands on it!!! I'll try to restrain myself and do it on Wednesday though, so I can catch up on sleep and maybe just enjoy the aforementioned brain bugs a little bit longer.

[mysterygreentea]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @bixxelated, thank you so much! Sorry for the late response too lol ;v;

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

174

2. What’s your total word count?

935,069

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Osomatsu-San and my AUs related to the series, but maybe one day I'll expand that list.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

"Everything Changes When We're Apart" > "I Want to Be Okay" > "We Love Karamatsu" > "Matsu Writevember 2018" > "I'm Fine!"

5. Do you respond to comments?

Oh absolutely, I love and appreciate every comment I receive and will always try to express it ;v;

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Despite all the angst I write, most of my fics at least end on a positive, hopeful note...but I'd say "Best Friends" had a pretty sad ending given the nature of the rest of the fic leading up to it. I had a few people upset by it lol. "Nightmare" is another one with a pretty bleak ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm I think "I Want to Be Okay" got a pretty happy ending considering the emotional ride that was the rest of the fic...I like to think it's a hopeful conclusion, one that shows the progress of Choromatsu's ongoing journey with recovery and his determination to create a brighter future for himself.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far I haven't, fortunately ;;

9. Do you write smut?

Sometimes...it's not my forte but it can still be fun and I try to practice with writing it so I'll be more confident in it.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not true crossovers...I've written silly things like Oso and Choro playing Bendy and things like that, but not an actual crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of ;v;

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but maybe one day!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but while I'm somewhat particular about my writing process I wouldn't be against the idea either.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

The majority of my fics aren't ship-centric but I love HappiChoro, DayToge, TotoNyaa, and JyushiHomu.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I don't currently have any WIPs that I don't intend to finish, I plan to get to them all eventually...mostly it's just half-baked ideas rolling around in my head that I may or may not ever end up doing anything with.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I feel like one of my strongest points in writing is with inner dialogue--describing in depth what the character is thinking and feeling, their perspective. It's something I've always enjoyed describing so I feel I've honed that skill well.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I still sometimes struggle with writing dialogue that feels natural, especially when it's a character whose voice I feel like I haven't nailed down.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I've really not done this aside from incorporating a few Japanese terms and phrases that don't have much of an English equivalent/sound better when retaining their original context, so I'd say this is non-applicable.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oso-San is actually the first fandom I've fully written and shared fics for.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Gosh I have a few...probably at the top of my list would be "I Want to Be Okay," "Unwell," "Everything Changes When We're Apart" and "Don't Worry About Me." No surprise that all of them feature a heavy dose of Choro angst.

Tagging @stormoftara @sakuranights1 and anyone else who'd like to try this!!

[vante1920pm]

›✭ osomatsu-san !!

── fluff ( ✧ ) › ── angst ( ⚘ ) › ── mini series ( ﻬ꜆ )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

OSOMATSU ! ✩

── nothing yet

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

KARAMATSU ! ✩

── nothing yet

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

CHOROMATSU ! ✩

── nothing yet

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ICHIMATSU ! ✩

── nothing yet

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

JYUSHIMATSU ! ✩

── nothing yet

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

TODOMATSU ! ✩

── nothing yet

© 2023, vante1920pm

[matsu-sweetie-honey-angel]

Masterlist

KEY

🍬 Fluff

💔 Angst

🔪 Yandere

💀Dark Content

💝 Comfort

💌 Love Letter/Interaction

💘 Suggestive

❣️NSFW

Matsuno Brothers

Osomatsu

Karamatsu

Choromatsu

Ichimatsu

Jyushimatsu

Todomatsu

AUs

[deezlymatsu]

here’s a drawing :P

[chano4kauwu]

Quite a strange thing just for fun AU fanfiction, where the mood and behavior of Karamatsu has changed a lot, but the rest except Osomatsu did not notice it. And when Osomatsu asked him what was going on, Karamatsu only considered it another affectation and insincere experience. Bruh moment :"0

[rainboweemart]

Karamatsu held out his pinkie finger. “ Let’s promise, we are in this together. “

choromatsu reached out his hand, and after a moment of hesitation liked pinkies with karamatsu. “ It’s a promise then. “

Don’t tag as ship/blmatsu! 

You can read this amazing fic here! made by @taramatsu-san

[aurorafluffbutt]

Future AU

The infamous Matsuno brothers known for being lazy moochers without jobs have finally moved out of their old family home and started their own lives. Some have successful careers, some have families of their own, and are overall enjoying the freedoms of independence. However, not everything is perfect after they start living on their own. Now in their thirties, they get an up close and personal look at adult life and deal with the stress and uncertainty that comes with it.

Osomatsu - had two kids with his ex-wife Mirai, but now lives alone. Him and Mirai didn’t have the best relationship when they were still married. He kept losing jobs left and right thanks to his alcohol dependency, causing his once kind wife to lose her patience with him. Screaming matches were common between them to the point that their kids barely reacted to the raised voices. There would even be times that they’d hit each other. Eventually, they got divorced and she got full custody of their kids because of his lack of a stable income. He’s only allowed to see them a few hours every week. She began telling her kids bad things about Osomatsu, so they’ve now basically turned against him and avoid him during the few hours a week that he gets to see them.

Karamatsu - a single father with a five year old daughter named Princess. He accidentally got his ex-girlfriend Chiyo pregnant, and although he was nervous about what the future would hold, he promised to himself that he’d be the best partner and father that he could be. Unfortunately, Chiyo didn’t want to endure the stress of motherhood, so when Princess was around three, she just packed up and left. She never tried to contact Karamatsu and never told him where she was going. Now he was left to raise a child by himself. He still wanted to keep his promise and does his best to be an attentive and loving father despite his untreated mental health issues.

Choromatsu - a married man with a son named Kaede. As one would expect, he’s a stern but compassionate father to Kaede. He wants to make sure that he’s successful in life, so he pushes him to excel in his studies. However, this can go too far since he sometimes pushes his son to the point that it causes anxiety in him. He’s basically living vicariously through Kaede’s achievements. Kaede tries to rebel and prove to Choromatsu that he’s his own person, but that usually results in him throwing empty cups on the floor, saying “damn it”, and messing up his hair.

Ichimatsu - has no partner or kids and lives with his many cats. After moving out of his parents’ home, he decided to live in the nearby gay district because “the rent was cheap” (but it was really because he’d recently realized that he liked men as well as women and wanted to live somewhere where he didn’t feel a need to hide that). In order to make enough money to pay the bills, he became an adult actor, leading to a more deteriorated mental state. He only leaves the house to buy groceries, to go to work, and to meet up with nearby stray cats. When he’s not doing that, he’s usually walking around the house in his underwear and drinking soup straight out of a can.

Jyushimatsu - is in a polyamorous relationship with a lot of kids. He has a boyfriend as well as a girlfriend and has a large family with them. It’s a running gag that you don’t see the same kids twice and it’s never revealed exactly how many he has. He’s usually caring for them while his partners are at work and spends most of the day chasing them down to make sure they don’t get hurt. Because of his high energy, he’s capable of this daunting task and he seems like he’s fine throughout the day. When his kids have been put to bed, he passes out and doesn’t wake up until noon.

Todomatsu - an actor with a decent amount of money. After he left his childhood home, he decided that he wanted to act in movies and started out by accepting minor roles in small films. Not wanting to wait for the high life, he began dating a much richer man who spoiled him. Once he got his career off the ground and started seeing success and money, he left his boyfriend since he didn’t need him to spoil him anymore. They’re still friends to this day and sometimes go to expensive restaurants together to catch up.

[whumpmatsus]

Matsus biggest fears?

aaaaaa this was fun to think about, I hope you enjoy~

Jyushi’s was hard for me to write and think about because I think I have the same fear, I HATE silence 😂😂😂

💚 CHOROMATSU 💚

Atychiphobia ― the fear of failure.

A perfectionist to his core with a noticeable amount of anxiety, what he’s afraid of more than anything is to fail. At anything. It could be something small like forgetting something at the grocery store or something big like tanking an interview. It doesn’t matter if the consequences are significant or not. It’s the simple act of failure that puts a knot in his stomach.

The very thought that he’s made a mistake or done something incorrectly gnaws at him. It kicks his anxiety into a panic of what if. What if he failed at something small, and so there’s no chance he can make it if something bigger is thrown at him? What if he failed at something more serious and he’s screwed up big-time? What if he’ll never be able to handle anything ever?

The worst part of it is that it keeps him from taking chances. If he can’t do anything without mistakes, to some arbitrary standard that’s ‘good enough’, then he might as well not even try, right? He’s so terrified of messing up, he can’t take it if whatever he tries isn’t perfect… if he doesn’t do it, he can’t fail! It limits him even in things he genuinely wants to do. If he isn’t good or perfect right away, to him, there’s no sense continuing, and it’s a very sad, frustrating way to live.

💜 ICHIMATSU 💜

Sociophobia ― the fear of socializing.

It’s a persistent, nagging thought in the back of his head, the cornerstone of his experience with social anxiety disorder that makes him borderline terrified of other people. There are times it can disappear in short bursts, and it’s almost completely absent with his brothers. But aside from that, he’s so scared he’s going to be judged, more than anything. That’s the worst thing he can think of.

Even if no one is judging him, he feels like they are. He’s trash, he’s strange, he’s saying or doing something wrong. How is he supposed to know how to act? Can’t he just be normal? He remembers he could act normal in high school; how come that changed? Why can’t he just do that anymore? Shit, he knows everyone is looking at him and thinking what a fucking weirdo he is.

Similarly to Choromatsu, this fear limits Ichimatsu in living his life. It’s too bad, because if he were to show his true self but also being as social as he was in high school, he would probably have some great friends aside from his brothers. He thinks all his dry wit is just stupid jokes that nobody likes, he thinks people are going to be laughing at him or making fun of him, he thinks he’ll end up awkward in a corner. So he doesn’t go to parties, and he doesn’t talk to people more than he needs to. Sometimes it’s a struggle for him to buy something at the store because small talk with the cashier will make him anxious.

💛 JYUSHIMATSU 💛

Sedatephobia ― the fear of silence and stillness.

It’s not that he has any trouble with the dark or sleeping or relaxing… it’s that he gets anxious when there’s absolutely no noise or movement at all. Being in a place where it’s too quiet, he’s by himself and nothing is going on, is scarier than anything. His own thoughts try to take over, but they take over too much. He starts to hear things that might not be there, and soon enough he’s panicking because he doesn’t know what’s real anymore.

There’s nothing that unsettles him more than perfect silence and perfect stillness. Left with his thoughts, it could well and truly drive him insane. Is he hearing something…? If he is, then what is it? Because there shouldn’t be anything making sounds. The discomfort comes from expecting to hear something, hearing nothing, then suddenly hearing something, and not knowing if it’s real or if his brain is trying to fill in the quiet with its own background noise.

It’s the main reason he hates sleeping alone. Even though there’s no TV or music going in the bedroom (unless Osomatsu and Totty are fucking around on their phones), at least if he’s with someone else, they’re there. They move around a bit and he can hear their breathing and if he gets desperate he can wake them up to talk until they all drift off to sleep. If he’s alone… well… all he has is himself. Sometimes that’s okay, sometimes he can soothe himself by talking or humming… other times, even his own voice seems swallowed up by the silence, and it sends him into a full-blown anxiety attack.

💙 KARAMATSU 💙

Kakorraphiophobia ― the fear of rejection.

Because deep, deep down, he knows he’s not good enough for anyone, and yet it still hurts more than any other pain. All he’s ever wanted is to be truly accepted and loved by someone. His family loves him, and he knows that. It’s just… he wishes that someone outside them would also take him as he is, love them back just as he loves them. Knowing that he’s doomed to be rejected, paralyzes him with fear.

He settles for people, and he settles hard, because… if he doesn’t… then he’s just going to keep being turned down. No one will ever put up with him if he doesn’t overlook their flaws too. Even if their flaws happen to be that they treat him terribly, they still love him, right? He can’t bear the idea that someone he’s been with for a while might decide to dump him due to him not being a doormat anymore. So it’s… it’s fine, they can be as awful as they want, as long as they keep loving him.

He’s a mess when it comes to any little hint that he’s being rejected, not just during the initial stages of a relationship. Being blown off for a date, being shut down or ignored when he tries to talk to them, being shoved away when he goes in for a hug or kiss… it hurts so bad. All he really wants to do is love and be loved. It makes him think there’s something fundamentally wrong with him that he doesn’t deserve love of any kind. Even though he feels like that’s true, it’s still so painful he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

❤️ OSOMATSU ❤️

Autophobia/monophobia ― the fear of being alone.

It shouldn’t be so hard to be one’s own best friend, should it? But after spending his life with five brothers, not having anyone around has become too hard to take. When he’s alone, it swallows him up, pressing in around him and reminding him that it’s a glimpse of the future. An empty house, an empty futon, a dinner table set for one… even when he’s around other people he doesn’t know. He feels lonely even in a crowd sometimes, like something’s missing from him because he’s by himself.

That’s unhealthy enough, and it comes with the side effect of dissociation. Who is he if he’s not with his brothers? If he can’t just say he’s ‘the oldest one’, then what is he?? He becomes so unattached from the concept of himself, it’s hard to even list his traits when he’s not with anyone else. It’s like he’s looking at someone else, at times, trying to figure out who they are when that’s him. Being alone, feeling lonely, it eats away until there’s nothing left of him, or maybe there was never really anything there in the first place.

It’s crippled his ability to deal with any situation where he’s by himself. If even one of his brothers is still there, he’s okay! He’s still Osomatsu, he knows who he is and how to exist and how to act. Take all of them away, though, and he’s impossibly afraid of being alone. For being the oldest, he clings to all his little brothers like they define his identity. He doesn’t know how to be without them, when it’s just him. It didn’t used to be like this, did it? This is how it’s become, though. He’s terrified because he knows this isn’t a good thing, but he doesn’t know how to exist any other way.

💖 TOTTY 💖

Athazagoraphobia ― the fear of being ignored or forgotten.

It’s that crushing pressure of being the youngest of six boys, often being a tacked-on, “Don’t forget your little brother!” rather than being around because they want him to be. He was always so clingy and needy and such a crybaby, he tried to follow his brothers around so they would give him attention. He wasn’t going to get it any other way, was he? If he didn’t force himself into their lives, they would have forgotten all about their poor baby brother. He hates it. He hates it, he hates it, he hates it.

Because, it’s not like he hasn’t been forgotten or ignored before. Sometimes in high school, he would have to run until he could barely breathe to catch up with one of his brothers because they forgot they were supposed to walk him home, or worse, they didn’t want to be seen with him. He would tug at their sleeves and whine for his nii-chans, and they would pretend like they didn’t even hear him… or maybe give him a condescending pat on the head to placate him. Well, he knows better than to seek attention from them anymore, doesn’t he? They don’t care. They’d rather just forget about him.

It still stings, though. Whenever they’re all going out somewhere, and they ask him as an afterthought if maybe he wants to come. Like they didn’t plan to invite him except that it popped into their heads at the last minute. Or if he’s on a date and the other person asks him to repeat himself, like they weren’t listening the first time. If they seem to be looking at someone else or being too friendly with a server. It’s manifested as a glaring insecurity and petty jealousy that, although he tries to control it, he doesn’t know how to make it go away. It’s… it’s not that he doesn’t deserve love, right…?

[citruli]

they’re just hypocrites

who don’t make apologies