#compose a page almost entirely of hands

[aliteralsemicolon]

Malicious Compliance - 18+

Spencer’s job has been hogging more of his time than usual, leaving you neglected, frustrated and bratty. He makes up for it by ever-so-kindly giving you exactly what you asked for.

Spencer Reid X AFAB! Reader

DISCLAIMER This story is NSFW. It contains strong themes and detailed descriptions of adult content. It is intended for mature audiences only, minors do not interact! You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read.

WARNING: Smut, penetration, PinV, word porn, no mention of protection/unprotected sex, use of pet names, BDSM elements (details in spoilers), basically just straight up word p0rn with almost no artistic licence and a sprinkle of fluff. Proceed at your own risk.

Word count: 7.2K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.

Do people ever get so pent up that everything their partner does becomes provocative? Their mind begins looking for any signs to give their body a reason for release, even if those signs are entirely made-up. And every time they’re denied that release, the desire that previously coursed through their veins becomes frustration. 

It fills them until there’s no room left for it inside of them, pushing their limits, like water pressure challenging the confinement of a pipe. Eventually the pressure becomes too much for the pipe to handle. Just a little bit more pressure and that pipe inevitably bursts. 

You don’t think you’ve ever been more frustrated in your life. Maybe it’s an exaggeration but sitting here, barely two feet away from your boyfriend, watching him flip through his work files might be the last amount of pressure you can handle before your pipe bursts.  

Even if you somehow manage to compose yourself, you know you’ll burst not long from now. You can’t really blame yourself. It’s been almost two full weeks since you’ve had any sort of release. Scratch that, it’s been almost two full weeks since Spencer’s even properly acknowledged your presence. 

You haven’t even bothered to try and hide your shameless ogling. Not once has he looked up in your direction. So you continue to stare at the way his fingers slide down every page as his mind absorbs the information, turning the page before you even blink. 

They move so elegantly. You trace the veins on his hands with your eyes. They’d look so nice wrapped around your thro - Lord, you can’t do this. Taking a deep breath, you decide it’s time to alert him of your presence. 

“Spence?” Not mentioning that your presence has been lingering for almost half an hour. No response. How oblivious does he have to be? “Spencer?” 

“Hm?” Even when you finally get a response, it’s barely a half-hearted one. Not even a glance up. 

“You wanna take a small break? You’ve been going through that same file for ages now.” You attempt to fuel a conversation anyway. 

“Can’t.” 

You want to be upset, you really do, but your eyes are locked in on his fingers working that damn paper. Your mind wanders to all the times they slid along your thighs, just like that. Knees squeezing against each other to try and suppress the electric jolt that just ran up in between your thighs. 

“Do you want me to order you some food?” You try to distract yourself from your current predicament, by focusing on your boyfriend’s well-being instead. 

“No thank you. Just order for yourself.”  There was really no point in trying when Spencer entered this headspace, it was almost impossible to get him out of it. 

“I’m going out tonight, remember? Going clubbing with my friends?” Was he really so focused that he wasn’t even aware of your plans? Plans that you made infront of him this morning, by the way. 

“That’s great Honey.” 

Yes, you suppose he really was. 

This was basically another rejection in a long list of rejections from the past two weeks. You doubt that he was even aware. That desire surging through you just a second ago morphed to frustration once again. In an attempt to let it be known, you blow out an annoyed huff as you get up from your seat. 

No response.

The problem wasn’t that he was busy because of his job. You knew his job, you completely understood when he had to leave home at bizarre times. The problem was that he had been bringing his job home with him. It was hard enough to have his attention when he was actually at work, now you had to fight for it in your own home? 

You make your way around the couch and sneak up on him from behind, resting your arms on his shoulders. Starting from the top of his head, you begin planting small kisses down his face until you reach his ear. 

“Spence, c’mon you’ve been doing this for hours.” He leans back towards you, bringing the file with him, but keeping his eyes - and fingers - on that file. Seriously? 

“Honey, I really can’t right now. You should start getting ready now for your plans.” Wow so he was aware. You should be elated, those were the most words you’d gotten out of him all week. 

A dazed exhale escaped him when you nibbled on his ear. His head rolled back, giving you room to keep kissing down his neck. He slightly turns his head towards you and his hand captures your jaw in a light grip. It pulls you away from him, his voice calls out your name in a stern tone. 

“Stop that, I said I’m busy. Go get ready.” His eyes remain on the page the whole time. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You think. Your eyes roll on their own volition at the same time as you start to walk away. 

“I saw that.” He warns. 

“So do something about it.” You scoff in annoyance. 

You’re actually hopeful that maybe he will do something about it. You remained hopeful for almost an hour while you got ready. Your hair gorgeously styled, seductive makeup enhancing your best features and now as you browse through your closet for a suitable dress to wear, there’s still no Spencer in sight. 

You find a dress and make your way towards the dresser to see if it completes the look. You press the hanger against your shoulders, scanning from your neck-line down to your legs and unintentionally look towards your underwear drawer. 

Just a few weeks ago, you were out shopping and were innocently asking for his opinion on a new set of lingerie you liked. When you hopped out of the dressing room to show him he didn’t even stop to look at it before he hauled your ass right back behind the curtain and re-dressed you himself. 

Spencer may be the sweetest man alive, there’s no doubt about that, but most people don’t know that he’s possessive as hell. An idea pops into your head when you recall that he still hasn’t properly seen the under-wear. 

You dig out the brand new set and take a second to admire how well it compliments your assets. You put the dress on over the lingerie and have to admit, you look really good. Anybody with half a brain could tell what you were wearing under the dress. Spencer would never let you leave the house like this, but he’d have to look at you first if he wants to stop you. 

It’d be a shame if Spencer didn’t bother to pry his eyes away from his file so he could stop you. What would he do if he realised you’d been dancing around all night in nothing but a tiny dress that barely covers the promiscuous cloth under it? Not to mention the attached stockings it’s entirely unable to hide. 

He’d spank you red, that’s what he’d do. 

Either way, you’re going to get laid tonight. You get closer to the mirror by leaning into the dresser and spritz a few drops of your signature perfume around your pulse points. There’s still plenty of time left before you actually have to leave, but if you stay any longer you’re going to go insane watching Spencer use his fingers on anything other than yourself. You just need to get your keys from the kitchen counter, put on your shoes and you’re ready to go. 

“I’m leaving now.” You yell out to Spencer. You don’t even have to look at him to know that he’s still sitting where you left him. 

And yet again, no response. “How many files does he have in that satchel?” You wonder. 

You reach for the keys on the counter and just as you grab them, Spencer’s hands surprise you by grabbing your waist. You almost squeal at the sudden contact. “Where do you think you’re going, hm?” His arms cross around your waist. 

“Oh so you do remember I exist?” You snark, trying to play it cool. 

You can’t let him have the upper hand just because he’s finally paying attention. He snakes a hand down to your thighs and lifts your dress up slightly, his body pushing against yours. He doesn’t even bother to comment on the jab you took at him. 

“You still can’t respond properly.” You try for a response again. 

Before you can comprehend his movements he’s stepped back and swung you around, his hands pressing on your hips, pushing your ass against the counter. He drinks in the sight in front of him as his eyes travel down your figure and back up, meeting yours. His tongue darts out and swipes across his lips, in true Spencer fashion. He lifts you up to sit on the counter as he steps in between your legs, closing the distance between you. 

“Let me rephrase,” there’s a fire behind his eyes when he speaks, tone levelled, finger creeping inside the stocking’s band. He pulls it away from your skin when he speaks,

“where do you think you’re going…” 

and lets it go

 “...wearing this?” 

The elastic slaps your thigh and adds to the emphasises of his last word. The close proximity, his lingering scent, voice, touch - your core was beginning to light up. It was dumb to think that you could keep the upper hand. Spencer had complete power over you and he knew that. 

“I asked you a question.” 

You were still going to try and challenge him, despite knowing better than to keep him waiting. It’s only fair, considering how long he made you wait. And how it took you acting out to make him notice you. 

“The club, silly. With my friends. You keep forgetting.” You coyly answer, wrapping your arms around him as you lean in. 

He raises both his brows in amusement and maintains eye contact, keeping his voice low and gentle. 

“I haven’t forgotten. I just wonder why you want everybody else there ogling you. Don’t even try to deny it. It would only take a few drinks before you start stumbling on your ass, displaying yourself for anyone who wants a peak.” His grip on your thigh tightens. 

Spencer didn’t actually care about what you wore, as long as he was the only one who saw what was underneath it. Your current attire went against that.

It took everything in you to not crash your lips on him right then. You wanted to feel him so bad but you couldn’t, not just yet. You pull out your most doe-eyed pout, eye contact still in place.

 “If I can’t get my own boyfriend to pay attention to me then I’m going to have to get that attention from somewhere else.” An empty threat, you both knew that. Nobody else's attention mattered to you. 

“Have I really neglected you so much?” He swallowed, not even blinking as he stared back. 

Maybe you’ve been reading the signals wrong. You expected anger or annoyance, but the man in front of you looks almost…apologetic? You lean your head back slightly so you can read his face better. His expression is entirely apologetic, causing you to soften your features as well. 

“Spencer I didn’t mean-” 

“I know you didn’t.” He cuts in before you can finish. “I’m asking if I’ve been too neglectful.” 

His hands roam from your thighs to your waist from under your dress, his fingers massaging you. You can’t pick up on his mood. He leans in and kisses your cheek. 

“I’ve been ignoring you. I’m sorry” He reaches for your forehead and gives you a kiss there too, before coming back down to your other cheek. “Let me make it up to you.” 

You expected him to punish you for acting up, his soft demeanour was throwing you off entirely. 

“Spence, it’s okay. You can finish your work. I have to leave soon anyways.” You lied, unsure of how to act.

“No you don’t. Even if you leave an hour from now, you’ll still make it on time.” He moves to your jaw, leaving a kiss there. You melt at his tender touch. “Let me make it up to you. Anything you want, just ask.” He insists.

You wanted to resist, to reassure him, to make him feel less guilty. It had just been so long and your head was getting so cloudy. His lips felt so, so good against your skin. 

“Ask.” He whispers, his voice so painfully sweet. 

Your hand runs through his hair, the other one dragging along his back lightly. He pushes his clothed, but clearly hard, length against you and a soft whimper finds its way out of you. He was clearly just as turned on as you were. 

“Please fuck me Spencer. Make me cum. Please.” 

He pulls your dress over your head and throws it somewhere on the floor, leaving you only in your lingerie and returns to your neck. The grip in his hair becomes slightly tighter as you grind against him. He takes this as permission, grabbing you by your legs to pull you as close to him as possible and takes you in a deep, hungry kiss. Another whimper leaves you, travelling from your mouth into his. 

He glides his tongue against yours, arms tightly hugging your waist. You’re both heated, panting heavily as you kiss, grinding against one another. Before things go any further, he pulls away. 

“You wanna cum?” He glides his hands all the way up your torso, cupping your jaw in his hands. 

“Mhm,” You nod, cupping his wrists “Please.” 

He gives you a clumsy peck. 

“I can help you do that. Let’s get you to bed. I’ll make you come. Would you like that, Princess?” His voice sounds so raspy, he’s almost whispering. 

You don’t entirely trust his sweet demeanour, he’s never this nice when you’ve broken as many rules as you have. But fuuuckkk. You were so turned on right now and he looks so beautiful. 

“Yes please!” You enthusiastically bounce off the counter, kissing him as you start to walk backwards. He doesn’t let the kiss fully break, walking with you, your hands feeling whatever part of each other they could. 

You manage to find your way to the bedroom with some minor collisions against furniture, giggling every time. Your motions come to a halt when you reach the edge of the bed, the kiss deepens again. 

Your hands start fumbling with his shirt and he works his belt, functioning as quickly as you can to get him undressed. His boxers slide off and you can’t help but break the kiss again to gawk at his shaft. Fucking hell, you’d seen it so many times and it’s still just as pretty. He kisses your forehead and chuckles. 

“Like what you see, Princess?”

You smile, biting your lip in response but not taking your eyes off his length. He lifts your head back up by hooking his finger under your chin to meet his gaze and he returns to your kiss. You reach around your back to unclasp your bra and he grabs it in the middle, pushing you down on the bed gently. 

The mattress catches you, but your bra is ripped away in his grasp. Spencer remains standing over you, eyeing your figure beneath him as he discards the laced bra on the floor.

“Well Handsome, you gonna join me or what?” 

This earns you another chuckle as he leans down towards you, the mattress dipping from his weight. You shuffle back on the bed together, sharing another passionate kiss on the way. Both of you refuse to break away until you finally reach a place you mutually decide is comfortable. 

Or at least, til Spencer decided it was comfortable enough and yanked you towards him until both your cores were completely pressed against together. 

The only thing restricting complete contact was a flimsy piece of fabric and it was barely enough, judging by the needy whine that you let out when the underside of his cock brushed against your heat. 

“So wet. So pretty.” Spencer groaned, kissing his way down your neck again. 

His hands freely roam up your body again, stopping to cup and knead your breasts. He takes his time using his mouth, sucking on the flesh as he makes his way down from your collarbones to my sternum. 

This must be your punishment. You’ll have to leave the house covered with his markings on your skin, warning anyone else who even thinks about touching you, that you belong to him. 

“Fuck, Spencer.” You breathe out in desperation and grind your hips against him, earning you a gravelly moan. Your hands come off the bed and back into his hair, trapping him against you without applying pressure so that he can move about as he pleases.

When he’s satisfied with the bruises he’s stained you with, he licks a path from your sternum to your left tit, leaving his hand to continue playing with your right one. He sucks, nibbles, kisses and licks your nipple all while pinching and rolling the other one between his fingers. 

“Spence, please!” You gasp, unable to control your hips. 

“Mmm, my needy little whore.” He mumbles and begins a trail of kisses back down your torso, stopping just above your mound, but abandoning the region altogether as he diverts his path to your thigh instead. You whine at his delay to satiate the fire that he ignited. 

“Shh, shh, shh,” he coos “patience Princess.” 

You whine harder and he pinches your nipple, earning him a yelp.

He continues his motions up your thigh, kissing all the way to your knee before switching legs and trailing back down from your knee to your thigh. Every kiss sends electricity through your core, hands still in his hair, following his head wherever it moves. 

“As much as I love you, if you don’t stop teasing me I’m going to fucking lose it.” You interrupt his foreplay, deciding that he had done enough priming. 

He lets out a breathy chuckle, and it sends chills through your spine. Your body jerks up in reaction and he takes this opportunity to slide off your panties, leaving you bare, save for your stockings. 

Cold air hits your heat and before you have the time to adjust to the feeling, he runs his tongue up your slit, flattening it entirely to cover as much surface area as possible. A loud, rippled moan emerges out of you, arch intensifying. Your hands tighten the grip on his hair automatically. 

“Fuuuccckkkk.” is all you can muster in that moment, your brain short-circuiting. 

Spencer focuses the tip of his tongue at the edge of your entrance, sampling the taste of your arousal before fully dipping in. His arms hold your legs apart in place and he sneaks his thumb to your clit.

You feel euphoric, you could float away. The feeling of his tongue pushing in and out of you was enough to leave you grabbing at his shoulders, digging your nails in slightly. Your hips started rocking against his face, Spencer had to physically hold them down as he shifted his mouth's attention from your entrance to your clit. 

“Hold still,” he ordered in the most gentle tone, the vibrations from his voice causing goosebumps, “you’re doing so well, Sweet Girl.” 

You squeaked when you felt his mouth circle around your bud, sucking gently. As he worked you with his tongue, You felt him enter a finger inside you. His name rolled off your tongue in a sigh, your hand back in his hair pulling slightly and causing him to erotically groan. 

The sounds coming from between your legs were so sinful and lewd, only amplifying when he added a second finger. His pace increased with the addition, fingers curling slightly while he pumped. 

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, vocabulary reduced to filthy swears and moans. You could feel your orgasm pending below my abdomen. Spencer didn’t slow down, even when you tried to buck away from his touch. 

He was persistent in following you, his head moving wherever you tried to escape to. When he felt that he couldn’t keep up, he held you down by applying the entire pressure of his forearm against your pelvis. 

“Spencer, Spencer, Spencer!” Each repetition got louder, you didn’t know what you were trying to say. He only sucked harder at your cries. 

“So, so, so, so, clo - mmmh” Was all you could manage to say, your head lolling back into the bed. 

“So good for me.” He uttered, making your thighs squeeze around his head. Spencer knew just what to say to get you to the edge. Your senses began to cloud in ecstasy, you were on the brink of your orgasm. 

His slender fingers were working you from the inside, his skilled tongue was working you from the outside, you could barely keep your breathing in order. Your walls started clenching around the intrusion, your legs dug into the mattress, one hand pulling on his curls and the other hand digging into his forearm holding you down. 

You were just on the verge of cumming when Spencer pulled out his fingers and stopped his motions. The whine you let out was visceral. 

“What the fuck?” It was a genuine question. 

The only response he gave was a puppy eyed stare, so full of adoration as he trailed his way back up to you with more tender kisses. You propped yourself on your elbows, trying to read into his expression. 

You were so confused. Were you being punished?

He must’ve picked up on your thoughts because he skipped over your chest entirely to whisper in your ear. 

“I’m sorry Princess.” He pecks your cheek, dragging his lips across your face to your lips. 

You return the kiss, but don’t hesitate to question his motives once you’re finally able to find your words. 

“Why’d you stop?” Tone pathetically whiney. 

He kisses you again, stronger this time as he rests his fingers under your chin. 

“I want to fuck you.” 

He turns your head slightly to the side so he can whisper in your ear again. 

“I want to fuck you until cum on my cock. Is that something you want me to do Princess?” 

His voice sounded like he was whispering sweet affirmations, but his words were so filthy. The contrast had you clenching around nothing. Spencer loved hearing you confirm how bad you wanted him.

“Princess?” He turns your face to him again, so he can look into your eyes. “I asked you something.” 

The eye contact feels so intense, it causes your breath to hitch a little. 

“Yes.” 

He moves in just a little closer, lips grazing. 

“Yes?” He was testing you. 

You should be grateful he was only testing you instead of tying you up and edging you all night for being a brat. That was still a possibility and you really don’t have the patience to wait anymore. You knew exactly what you had to say. 

“Yes, please! I want to you to fuck me until I cum on your cock.” 

That was all it took for his lips to come crashing down on yours. This kiss felt different to all the others tonight.

Almost like it held a hidden meaning. 

He hooked his arms around your thighs and wrapped you around his waist. Neither of you pulls away, until you both gasp into each other’s mouths as he finally enters you. 

He fills you up slowly, until there’s no more of him left to give and your arms instinctively drape against his shoulders. The second your bodies adjust comfortably, he pulls out slowly until just the tip is left in you, thrusting back in after a second. 

You moan at the intrusion,  pulling him closer for another kiss. He continues thrusting in and out, your make-out getting more careless as you moan into each other and his pace gradually picks up. 

Your bodies move in sync, chasing a mutual high. His moans only encourage you to keep meeting his thrusts. He lifts one of your legs higher along his side, the tip of his shaft lightly bumping your cervix with every thrust from this angle. 

“Feels..so..good...” You moan against his mouth. 

“Yea?” He questions softly. 

“Mhm.”

“How does this feel?” He reaches between your bodies to play with your clit as he fucks you. Your fingers dig into his back at the sensation, brows furrowing in an attempt to hold it together. 

“Reall- fuck, really good.” You choke on your words from the intense pleasure. 

He keeps up his pace and you feel yourself getting close. 

“Spencer, I’m clos-” You don’t get to finish your sentence, Spencer interrupting you with his lips on yours. 

“Cum for me Pretty Girl.” He coaxes, pulling away.

“I wanna finish together.” You plead, hoping he was as close as he seemed from the way he was grunting. 

“We will. Just let yourself go Princess. I’ve got you.” There was mischief laced with his promise, but you didn’t pick up on it. 

The coil in you was almost at its breaking point. It only took a few deep thrusts and you felt it snap. The feeling forced your eyes to the back of your head and your mouth aimlessly spewed random obscenities. 

Your orgasm had been brewing for almost two whole weeks and when you were finally allowed release, well, the release was really intense. Spencer was no longer moving inside you once you finally came down from your high. 

“Thank yo-” your gratitude was cut off by a loud wail when you felt Spencer slam back into you. You hadn’t noticed him shift into an up-right position, his hands pinning you to the bed by your hips as he continues fucking you with a brutal pace. 

“Oh I’m sorry,” his demeanour shifted to demanding, “what were you saying?”

“Spence, fuck-” You couldn’t think properly with the way he was pounding into you. “What-” Your inability to speak matched your inability to think.

He abruptly pulls out of you, flips you over and pulls you up by your hair. He then grabs your wrists with his free hand and pins both your hands behind your back, pulling your back to rest against his chest so he could whisper directly in your ear. 

“You asked me to fuck you. I’m just giving you what you want.” His tone remained soft, but it was laced with a harsh, taunting aura.

You were utterly flabbergasted. You had pissed him off. Spencer played you. His previous notion of ‘wanting to make it up to you was a decoy. He planned to properly punish you the whole time, buttering you up for his own entertainment.

Letting go of your hair, he pushes you back into the mattress, ass up in the air. He keeps your arms pinned and before you can make any noise, the air cracks to the sound of him spanking you. 

Hard. 

You squirm, burying your face into the mattress to muffle a surprised shriek. He leans down against you, re-aligning his lips to your ear. 

“I’m going to count as I spank you. And for every single one, I want you to tell me one thing you did wrong tonight. Do you understand?” The setting had shifted entirely. Spencer had fully embraced his dominant role and you knew you had to be careful if you didn’t want the punishment to be too prolonged. 

“Yes Sir!”

“One.” His first smack was lighter than the one he surprised you with just a second ago. 

“I rolled my eyes.”

“Two.” Hand hitting over the exact same spot as before. 

“I was mouthy.”

“Three.” This time he hit the other cheek.

“I- I don’t know-” You really didn’t. 

Well you did, but whenever Spencer punished you, your brain turned to mush. You couldn’t think, it turned you on so much that you became stupid. 

“Wrong. You dressed like a whore just to get a reaction out of me. We’re going to start again.” The force he hit with that time was unforgiving. you wailed at the sting. 

“One.” 

You had to restart at least two more times, your recall ability getting weaker with each blow. By the time Spencer finished, both cheeks were stinging. 

He runs his middle finger through your slit, collecting your arousal and pushes it inside you. “Of course you’re even wetter now.” He snickers, you could only moan in response. 

“Nothing? You had so much to say before.” He finally lets go of your wrists, allowing them to fall to the sides and he rubs your sensitive behind. 

“I’m sorry for being a brat.” You muster as you try to flip around and face him.

“You will be.” He stops you and twists you back into position. 

Face down, ass up. 

“Get comfortable Princess, I’m not done with you yet.” 

With that, he enters you in one quick motion, building to the brutal pace he originally set in no time. You swear it’s like you feel more of him now than you could before. Your hands rush to grip the bed sheets to try and keep yourself grounded. 

“Spencer- ah-” He grips a handful of your flesh to shut you up. 

“The only sounds I want coming out of you right now are the ones where you scream my name. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yessir!” You cry out from the pain. 

He’s practically fucking you into the mattress at this point, every thrust so harsh, so precise, hitting that sweet spot inside you over and over. Everytime his body meets your behind the sting intensifies, as if he keeps adding fuel to the fire he set on your skin, blurring the lines between pain and pleasure. 

“Shit- Spen-” You can’t hold yourself back, the only thing on your mind is him, his name falling from your lips as if it was a song stuck on a broken record. 

Your senses were on overload. He was consuming your entire being. You could feel every inch of him inside you and you didn’t want to stop. Your core began to tingle, feeling another orgasm approach you, reducing you to a blubbering mess. The room was filled with sounds of your moans and skin slapping against each other.

“I’m gonna cum, gonna cum, gonn-” Your words fade out.

“Go ahead, cum.” Spencer orders in between thrusts. “Cum all over my cock.”

His permission is all it takes for stars to come down from the sky and take hold in your vision. The sheets aren’t enough to keep you anchored and if it weren’t for Spencer’s grip on you, you’d have fallen flat against the bed. 

It takes a few minutes for you to catch your breath, knuckles white from how hard you scrunched the sheets in your fingers. He’s still inside you when you come down again, just watching without saying a word. 

“Colour?” Spencer leans in above you from behind, planting a kiss on your shoulder. A reminder of his promise that he’s got you.

“Green.” You wearily whisper. Your legs were burning, your body was utterly exhausted, but you enjoyed it when he used you in spite of the fact. 

“Good. You’re going to give me one more.” 

He plants another kiss and wraps a hand around your neck, the other sneaking between your breasts. Without using any force, he pulls you up in his lap, your back to his chest. A whimper chokes out of you when his length brushes against your inflamed bud. 

“You look so pretty like this Princess.” He coos in short breaths. “All red and fucked out for me. Only me.” 

He lowers his hand from the apex of your breast to his shaft, so that he can align himself with your entrance again. You subconsciously arch in anticipation, eager to have him fill you again despite your physical debilitation. 

Once he’s lined up, his hand travels up again, stopping at the height of your hip. He pushes you down at the same time as he moves up, a loud moan erupting from both of you. 

“You take me so well Princess.” Spencer praises.

Your eyes roll to the back for a second time tonight as your head falls against his collarbone. While his initial pace was slow, it didn’t take long for him to speed it back up to ruthless - you have to admire his stamina. 

He lowers his mouth to just below your jaw, his fingers tightening around the sides of your neck, limiting the blood supply to your brain. At the same time, he starts sucking another hickey on your skin and your jaw hangs open to allow passage to a series of moans as a result. 

“You enjoy being fucked like a whore hmm?” 

The contrast between praise and degradation had you clenching, resulting in desperate grumbles from him. His grip only tightens more when you take too long to answer.

“Yessir-” You stifle, brain going fuzzy from the lack of oxygen. He loosens his grip and smiles, lips grazing your cheek. 

You’re beside yourself, all your control had been relinquished to this man long ago. You feel him play with your clit, circling and flicking the bud. It’s already swollen from previous use, the overstimulation is too much for your body to handle. Unable to squirm away from him, you grasp at his wrist, attempting to push him away. 

Spencer doesn’t relent and you’re too weak to use any force. Everything he does is pushing you over the edge and all you’re able to do is whine and moan. 

“Use your words Princess? What do you want? Do you want me to stop?” He sneers, knowing that’s not at all what you want. 

“N-No Sir.” 

“No? You want me to keep going? Want me to make you cum again?” Small grunts slip from him when he speaks, fingers speeding up between your legs. “You gonna be a good little slut and give me one more?” 

“I ca-can’t, it’s to-ah - too much-''

“Oh so now it’s too much for you?”

There’s nothing romantic about your current disposition. It was purely salacious- his hand on your neck, the other between your legs, you practically kneeling against him with your back to his chest as he pounds into you from behind, the sounds created from your bodies melding and pouring from your throats. 

You’re practically a free use doll for him. Your need to release from earlier today was nothing compared to how bad you need to cum now. You feel like you might explode from the extreme pleasure. 

“Spen-Spence- fuck- pleasepleaseplease-” 

“Oh my poor, sweet little Princess, doesn’t even know what she wants. Can’t even think because her brain’s too fucked out. Maybe I should stop, let you get a break.” Spencer mocks. 

“Nononono, please! So close, Im so-fuck!” 

Spencer keeps his pace on your clit, but slows down his hips when speaking.

“I think we should stop here.” He taunts. “Just look at you! You’re a mess. I don’t think you know what you want.”

“Yes-Yes I do- I do! Please Spence- don’t stop!” 

“I can’t help you if you’re not making sense. Speak clearly, what do you want me to do?” Your desperation was thrilling for him. He wanted to draw it out as long as he could by teasing you. 

“I’m so-close, I c-can’t!”

His fingers tighten around your throat again.

“Yes you can. You can and you will. Use your words, what do you want?” 

“Ple-ease Sir, let me c-cum.” 

He purposely thrusts as hard as he can when you speak to throw you off, so you have to repeat yourself. 

“I said clearly, Princess. That was not clear enough.” He teases, smugly. 

You inhale deeply.

“Please let me cum, Sir.”

Satiated with your answer, Spencer releases your throat and speeds up again. It doesn’t take long before he becomes sloppy with his movements. The final few thrusts are buried as deep within you as physically possible and you surrender to your climax.

Not even a moment after you finish, Spencer empties himself inside of you, hot ropes of his cum filling you up as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. A synched, loud moan concludes your tango and you fall limp against each other before you tumble onto the mattress.

Both take a moment, heaving intensely as you lay side by side. Spencer’s hand finds yours and he rubs small, soothing circles on the back of it. 

“What was that?” You ask when you feel enough air fill your lungs. 

He gradually turns his head to you, eyes darting as if he was searching for something in the back of his mind.

“Malicious compliance. For a lack of better wording.” He answers in a whisper, trying to catch his breath. You snort weakly, not much energy in your body to spare.

“You should maliciously comply more often.”

“I don’t think you actually want me to maliciously comply.” He pants. 

Re-adjusting to face him and you just stare at each other for a moment. A breathless fit of giggles sparks amongst you. When you fall silent again, you just lie there, staring deeply into each other's eyes. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up. Hmm?” He intertwines his fingers with yours. 

“How you have any energy left to get up is beyond me.”

“Oh believe me, I don’t,” still panting, “but I really want to take care of you right now.”

“You just did.” You counter.

There’s a hint of penitence in his eyes, so fleeting that you almost miss it. you want to question it, but it’s quickly replaced by the expression of rapture. 

“Come on Honey.” He implores and you make a mental note to ask him later. 

He takes your hands and pulls you up with him. You both lazily make your way to the bathroom, you hold on to him the whole way, scared that your legs alone won’t be strong enough to carry you right now. 

Immediately upon seeing your reflection, you laugh awkwardly. Mascara was running down your face, your lipstick all smudged, you truly looked like a mess. Spencer kisses your temple and turns on the shower, returning to you while you wait for the water to heat up.

He props you on the bathroom counter, removing your stockings for you, peppering you in thankful kisses. You reach over for your make-up remover and Spencer grabs the cotton wipes, insistent on removing it for you. His touch is light as he carefully wipes cosmetic residue from your face.

The bathroom fogs up and you finally get in the shower. Neither of you speak, reserving your strength to keep you standing. Instead, you wrap your arms around each other, letting go only to aid in washing your bodies. Both of you stay in the shower for a little bit longer than intended, just holding the other. 

“I’m going to make us some tea. Will you be okay to finish off here by yourself?” He speaks up after a little while. 

“Yea I’ll be fine. I’ll join you in a minute.” 

He gives you a quick peck, then two, before he leaves. You take your time, peeing after your shower when you remember Spencer’s lecture on avoiding UTIs from when you first started dating. Once you’re all nice and clean, you slip into one of Spencer’s shirts and some fresh underwear.

You walk into the living room to find Spencer sitting on the couch, two cups of tea on the coffee table, while he fiddles with his files again. Great. Opting to ignore it due to your fatigue, you march into the kitchen to grab your phone. 

Your abandoned dress is neatly draped on one of the dining chairs. Spencer must've picked it up when he was making tea. You grab your phone to find many missed calls from your friends. Fuck. You had forgotten about your plans. 

You quickly shoot them a text to apologise and make some excuse for your absence, promising to make it up to them soon. 

“Honey, you okay?” Spencer calls out from the living room. 

You make your way back to him upon hearing his voice. “Yea, I was just texting my friends.”

“Would you like to do that sitting down? Your tea’s getting cold.” He extends his hand out to you from the couch and you take it, sinking into his embrace. 

“Don’t you have to go back to your files?” When you look around, the files are nowhere to be seen. 

“No. No more working on files.” He sighs

“Spence, what’s wrong?” You ask, pulling away from his arms. “You have that look on your face again.”

“I’ve been neglecting you. And I’m sorry.”

That’s what it was. 

“Oh, Honey. It’s okay, I mean I get it. It’s your job.” 

“You don’t have to do that. This isn’t part of my job. It’s just this one case that’s really getting to me and I’ve let it take over my life outside the job.” Guilt rides his features. You cup his face in your hands and he takes hold of your wrist. 

“I won’t lie to you. It’s hard, but I know how much the BAU means to you.” You console. 

“It does mean a lot. But so do you.” He shakes his head as he pulls you into another hug. “I’ve seen what this job does to people. To relationships. I value you too deeply to let that happen to us. I promise that from now, work stays at work. When I come home, I’m all yours.”

“Jesus I love this man.” You proclaim to yourself silently. “Thank you for that.” is what you say aloud. 

“Infact,” Spencer's the one to pull away this time. He reaches over for his phone and begins texting someone, “just give me a second.”

“What are you doing?” 

It takes him some time to reply. Texting is not one of his strong suits, he needs to pay a little more attention to the task than most people. 

“I’ve just texted Hotch for some time off. I hope you don’t have any plans this weekend, because you and I are going to spend the entirety of it together.” He smiles goofily. 

“I love you.” You blurt out with more passion than you were expecting. 

“And I love you.” He replies with equal enthusiasm, leaning in his lips against yours. 

The kiss is so emotional, so raw, so perfect. 

“Now,” He brushes your hair behind your ear, “let’s finish this tea and get to bed. I have two weeks worth of cuddling to make up for, I believe.”

“So you’ve been counting too?” You laugh.

“I count every second I don’t spend with you so that I know to make up for it properly.” He confides.

You almost jump at him for another kiss, unable to contain your emotions. This man was perfect in every sense of the word to you. 

As the two of you sat there, just talking, desire surged through your body once again, but in a different way this time. It was more than a desire for pleasure. It was a desire for the man you’re lucky enough to call your boyfriend. A desire to just be in his presence, to be loved by him and to love him in his entirety. A desire for Spencer Reid.

Spoilers: Established relationship, Dom! Spencer, Possessive! Spencer, Sub! Reader, Bratty! Reader, soft & rough sex, spanking, degrading kink, praise kink, breast play, name calling, choking, hair pulling, fingering, slight edging (barely), overstimulation, creampie, after-care, fluff.

AN - Hey guys I’m beginning to sense that I might be incapable of not writing fluff in every story and I recognise it may need to stop. Anyways when imagining this, my brain decided it should include vanilla, soft dom and mean dom Spencer all in one, I’m sorry for that.  Shoutout to all the smut writers out there, this is my first smut piece and it was so fucking complicated to write. There’s only so many ways you can write smut, y’all are dedicated. To all my virgins out there: please keep in mind that this does not represent real sex and barely is sex ever even slightly close to as good as we imagine in fanfics. Also women's bodies do not react the way we read most of the time.

Feel free to drop helpful constructive criticism, I’m always looking to improve :)

Added AN - Just re-read this, I am deeply sorry for all the grammatical errors. I fixed what I could just now, but the reposts won't update with the edits. My bad people!

Thank you for reading!

[cupids-diner]

The kiss he can’t forget - Damian Wayne

Warnings: none!

Rating: fluff

The early morning light filtered through the towering windows of Wayne Manor, casting a soft glow across the polished wooden floors of the library. Damian Wayne sat cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by a collection of books he was meticulously sorting. His usual scowl was absent, replaced by a rare look of concentration.

You entered the room quietly, not wanting to disturb him. But Damian, with his sharp senses, noticed you immediately. His green eyes flicked up, and a small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Good morning,” you said cheerfully, moving to sit beside him.

“Morning,” Damian replied, his tone casual, though his heart rate quickened just slightly at your presence. He wasn’t one to show much emotion, but you had a way of drawing out the softer side of him, something he’d never admit out loud.

You reached for one of the books he’d set aside. “What are you working on?”

“Categorizing,” he said simply. “These volumes were misplaced.”

You nodded, flipping through the pages of an old, leather-bound book. “You know, you don’t always have to be so serious,” you teased, glancing at him with a playful smile.

Damian huffed, but there was no bite to it. “Someone has to be.”

You laughed softly, leaning closer to him. The scent of your shampoo filled his senses, and for a brief moment, Damian found it difficult to focus on anything other than the fact that you were inches away. He steeled himself, maintaining his calm exterior.

“I’m serious too, sometimes,” you said, leaning back on your hands. “But it’s also okay to relax.”

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak just then. There was a comfortable silence between you as you both continued sorting through the books. Damian found himself stealing glances at you, the way your hair fell across your face, the way your lips curved into a smile as you read something interesting. His heart thudded in his chest, a reaction he couldn’t quite suppress.

After a while, you finished your stack and stretched your arms above your head, sighing contentedly. “Well, that was productive.”

Damian nodded again, feeling an odd sense of contentment himself. Being around you had that effect on him. It was something he was still getting used to.

As you stood up, brushing off your jeans, you looked down at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes. “Thanks for letting me help,” you said, leaning down quickly to plant a light kiss on his cheek. “You’re the best, Damian.”

The kiss was brief, a featherlight touch, but it sent a jolt through Damian’s entire body. He froze, his expression carefully neutral, though his mind was anything but. His heart raced, and he was suddenly hyper-aware of the spot on his cheek where your lips had touched.

“Of course,” he managed to say, his voice surprisingly steady despite the chaos inside him. He kept his gaze on the books, pretending to be utterly unfazed.

But inside, Damian was anything but calm. His thoughts spiraled, his mind replaying the moment over and over. Did that just happen? Was it a sign? Did you like him as much as he liked you? A thousand questions raced through his mind, but on the outside, he remained stoic.

You didn’t seem to notice his internal struggle, or maybe you did and chose not to comment. You simply smiled at him, a bright, carefree smile that made his heart stutter.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” you said, already heading for the door.

“Yeah, later,” Damian replied, watching as you left the room, the door closing softly behind you.

The moment you were gone, Damian let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He touched the spot on his cheek where you had kissed him, a small, almost imperceptible smile forming on his lips.

“Maybe,” he whispered to himself, his heart still racing, “just maybe…”

And for the rest of the day, the thought of you and that brief kiss occupied his every thought, a secret thrill he kept hidden beneath his composed exterior.

A/N: tumblr was genuinely tweaking out when I made this. It’s crazy. It was lagging and took ages to load.

[strangled-slytherin]

In the quiet of night

Pairing: Theo Nott x Reader

Summary: After a terrifying nightmare, Theo Nott comforts the reader, offering quiet reassurance and revealing a deeper emotional bond between them.

Trigger Warnings: Nightmares, mentions of trauma and helplessness, anxiety, emotional distress.

-

Theo Nott sat quietly in the Slytherin common room, his book resting on his lap, though he hadn’t turned a page in what felt like an eternity. The flames in the fireplace crackled softly, casting flickering shadows across the walls, but his mind wasn’t on the text before him. His thoughts were somewhere else, drifting back to you.

It wasn’t often that he let himself think too deeply about what you meant to him. It was easier to act indifferent, to play the part of the quiet, brooding Slytherin who rarely showed his cards. But you had a way of pulling at the edges of his carefully crafted facade, making it harder and harder for him to keep his distance.

The faintest of sounds broke through his thoughts—a noise that was almost too quiet to notice. His brow furrowed as he sat up, his senses suddenly on alert. He strained his ears, listening for any indication that he had imagined it, but there it was again. A low, muffled sound that sent a chill down his spine. He knew that sound. It was the sound of someone in distress.

His heart skipped a beat when he realized it was coming from your room.

Theo was on his feet before he could think twice, the book abandoned as he crossed the common room in long strides. His pulse quickened, and his mind raced with worry. Had something happened? Was someone in there with you? He knew the nightmares had been plaguing you recently, but this felt different. This felt urgent.

He reached your door and hesitated for only a second before pushing it open, not caring about the possible consequences of barging into your space unannounced. The door creaked slightly, and the dim light from the hallway spilled into the room, casting an eerie glow on the scene before him.

You were thrashing in your bed, tangled in your blankets as if you were trying to fight your way out of them. Your face was pale, your brow furrowed in distress, and a thin sheen of sweat coated your skin. You were muttering incoherently, your voice low and panicked, and Theo could see the fear etched into your features even though you were still asleep.

He had never seen you like this before. You were always so composed, so strong. To see you this vulnerable, trapped in your own mind, sent a wave of protectiveness crashing over him.

"Y/N," Theo called softly, his voice low and soothing as he approached the bed. You didn’t respond, your body still caught in the throes of whatever nightmare had its grip on you. He knelt beside the bed, hesitating for a moment, unsure of how to wake you without startling you further.

He gently placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you the lightest of shakes. "Y/N, it's alright. You're safe. Wake up."

Your eyes flew open with a sharp intake of breath, wild and unfocused as if you weren’t entirely sure where you were. For a moment, Theo’s heart clenched as he saw the fear still lingering in your gaze. But then your eyes met his, and the panic began to ebb, slowly giving way to recognition.

"Theo?" Your voice was small, barely a whisper, as if you were afraid speaking too loudly would break the fragile silence between you.

"I'm here," he said softly, his hand still resting on your shoulder. "You're safe now. It was just a dream."

You blinked, your breathing ragged as you tried to calm the frantic beating of your heart. The room felt suffocating, the remnants of the nightmare still clinging to the edges of your mind like dark shadows that refused to be banished. You sat up slowly, running a hand through your hair, your fingers trembling slightly.

"I… I didn't mean to wake you," you murmured, your voice thick with embarrassment and exhaustion. "It was just another nightmare."

Theo frowned slightly, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside you. "You don't have to apologize for that. You didn’t wake me—well, not exactly." He studied your face, the dark circles under your eyes, the way your shoulders sagged as if the weight of the world was pressing down on you. "You've been having them a lot lately, haven't you?"

You nodded, not meeting his eyes. "Yeah… more than usual. I thought they’d go away, but…" You trailed off, your voice cracking slightly. "They're just getting worse."

Theo’s chest tightened at the raw vulnerability in your voice. He wasn’t used to seeing you like this—so open, so fragile. It made him want to pull you into his arms and protect you from whatever was haunting you, but he knew better than to push too hard. He had to let you come to him, had to let you decide if you wanted to share.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked after a moment, his voice soft, nonjudgmental. He wasn’t the best at comforting people, but for you, he’d try.

You shook your head at first, biting your lip as you tried to keep the tears at bay. "It's stupid," you whispered, your fingers twisting in the blankets as if grounding yourself.

"It's not stupid if it's keeping you up at night," Theo replied gently. "Whatever it is, it’s real enough to you. And I’m here to listen. No judgments, I promise."

You glanced at him, and for the first time since you woke up, you really looked at him. His dark hair was slightly tousled, as if he’d been running his fingers through it in frustration or worry, and his eyes were softer than you’d ever seen them. He was always so guarded, so careful not to let his emotions show, but right now, there was nothing but concern written across his features.

Taking a shaky breath, you nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. "It’s just… ever since that incident last year, I’ve been having these dreams. Nightmares, really. They start off fine, but then… something happens, and I’m back in that place. Back in that moment." Your voice wavered, and you paused, trying to collect yourself.

Theo didn’t rush you, didn’t press for details. He simply waited, his hand still resting on your arm, his presence grounding you as you found the strength to continue.

"I keep reliving it," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper now. "The fear, the helplessness… it feels so real. And no matter how hard I try to wake up, I can’t. I’m trapped in it, over and over again."

Theo’s jaw tightened, a flash of anger sparking in his eyes—not at you, but at the idea of you suffering like this. He hadn’t known how bad it had been for you, how deeply the events of the past year had affected you. You’d always been so good at hiding your pain, at pretending like everything was fine. But now, seeing you like this, he realized just how much you’d been carrying on your own.

"You don’t have to go through this alone, you know," he said quietly. "You’ve been carrying this weight for too long."

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes. "I didn’t want to burden anyone with it. Especially not you.

Theo let out a soft, humorless laugh. "Burden? Y/N, you’re not a burden. I care about you. More than you realize."

Your eyes widened slightly at his words, your heart skipping a beat. Theo wasn’t the type to openly express his feelings, but in this moment, there was no denying the sincerity in his voice.

"I care about you too," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

For a long moment, the two of you sat in silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air between you. Finally, Theo shifted, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

"From now on," he said softly, "if you wake up like this, you come find me. Or I’ll find you. But you’re not going through this alone anymore, alright?"

You nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Alright."

And in that quiet moment, with Theo sitting beside you, the darkness that had once seemed so suffocating didn’t feel quite as overwhelming anymore.

[chvoswxtch]

stakeout

pairing: frank castle x fem!reader

summary: going on a stakeout with frank doesn't go anything like you thought it would.

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of guns, a lil steam ;)

word count: 9k

a/n: fun fact: I originally started writing this specific idea as a standalone fic months ago & then when i started doing this series, i knew it would be perfect for it, & i've been excited to finish it & share it with y'all ever since. grab a snack & a drink, get comfy, bc this is almost 30 pages of yearning & pining for our favorite soft bad boy frankie. thank you so much to my darling angel @spoodermain for being my wonderful beta reader & offering your genius feedback that really made this part shine. as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!

[previous chapter] | [next chapter] | [series masterlist]

How you had managed to talk Frank into letting you join a stakeout with him, you still weren’t sure, but it was nothing like you thought it would be. The entire three hour drive upstate was nearly composed of pure silence, only interrupted by trivial questions on your behalf, and answers in the form of monosyllables and grunts on his. The two of you had been sitting in his truck for almost six hours now, parked off on the side of a dirt road a good distance away from what looked like an abandoned warehouse that you hadn’t seen anyone enter or leave from.

You were going absolutely fucking stir crazy.

“Why can't we just go in?”

Frank let out a deep exhale through his nose, glancing over at you out of the corner of his eye in pure annoyance before returning his attentive gaze back to the warehouse.

In his defense, you had asked this question at least five times already.

Letting out an impatient sigh of your own, you turned your body slightly in the passenger seat to face him while gesturing loosely to the warehouse with your hand.

“Frank, we haven't seen anyone in hours. We could go in, take a look around, and probably be back before anyone even-”

“Hey hey, no. Ain’t no we. Alright, you’re stayin’ your ass right here. And I already told you why. It’s too out in the open. I got no way of knowin’ if there’s anyone in there watchin’, and I can’t tell if they got some kind of security system ‘round the place-”

“So call Billy. See if he knows-”

“Bill ain’t the head of security for the entire goddamn world.”

Frank’s snappy quips and his irritated tone had you throwing your hands up in exasperation, and you dramatically sank back into the passenger seat of his truck, glaring out your window as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Fine. Then I guess we’ll just keep sitting here in fucking silence and you can keep brooding.”

Frank let out another heavy exhale from deep within his chest, and you could practically feel his intense stare against the side of your face.

“Look, I know this ain’t the most excitin’ thing, and you can’t sit still to save your goddamn life, but this is how we do this smart, and it’s how I keep you safe, alright? I ain’t takin’ any risks with you. I know patience ain’t your strong suit, but I need ya to try for just a little longer, alright? We don’t see any movement in the next hour, we’ll call it, and try again tomorrow. See if we can come up with another plan. Yeah?”

“Fine.”

Frank let out a tiny chuckle at your bratty response, and all of a sudden you felt something land in your lap. You glanced downwards as a crease formed between your brows, seeing an extra large version of your favorite candy bar. When your eyes flickered over towards Frank in curiosity, you noticed that he was already eyeing you with an amused smile. He shook his head slowly, returning his line of sight to the warehouse with another soft chuckle.

“Eat that and quit poutin’.”

A light scoff left your lips when you picked up the candybar and tore open the wrapper, suddenly noticing the way that you had been ignoring your body’s alerts of hunger. 

“I’m not pouting.”

“Whatever ya say, sweetheart. Just remember, you asked to come along.”

“And you let me.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as Frank shook his head again in response to the pure sass dripping from your voice, and you caught the way the edge of his mouth tugged higher upwards into a wider grin.

“Thought this would be the one time you were quiet for some reason.”

Letting out a dramatic scoff of bewilderment, you reached out to smack your palm against his broad shoulder, which only caused laughter to bellow from deep within Frank’s chest. You doubt he even felt your feeble smack through the black denim layer of his jacket. Rolling your eyes playfully, you looked away with a tiny victorious grin after noticing the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed like that. 

He looked so carefree; like that usual heaviness he carried around wasn’t weighing him down, just for that small moment. Frank had such a beautiful smile, and it made you feel like the luckiest person in the world every time you got to witness it. 

Taking a small bite of your candybar, you muttered under your breath, making him snicker.

“Asshole.”

»»———　　———««

Forty five minutes later, a police car silently pulled up behind Frank’s truck, and your heart started to hammer wildly in your chest. The flashing of bright red and blue was almost blinding in the opaque darkness surrounding the empty dirt road he had pulled onto. The truck was parked far enough away from the property that the flashing lights shouldn’t have alerted anyone that could be inside, but the explanation as to why the two of you were here in the first place was a whole other problem.

Especially considering that you were technically “missing”.

“Shit.”

Frank hissed quietly as he stared at the patrol car in the side view mirror, his full lips settling into a hard line as he reached underneath his seat to retrieve a pistol that was hidden. Your eyes immediately widened as the silver metal became illuminated by the faint moonlight, and you glanced frantically between Frank’s stoic face and the cop car in the rearview mirror.

“What are you doing?”

Frank hastily brought his index finger to his lips when you whisper-yelled at him.

“Preparin’ for a problem.”

Frank’s eyes remained narrowed on the reflection in the side view mirror as he pulled the hammer back on the pistol, the sound of it cocking in place only fueling the speed of your tumultuous heart rate.

“Put it away!”

Scrunching up his dark brows, Frank turned his head slightly to stare at you incredulously as if you had just said the most ridiculous statement in the history of the English language. 

“What?”

“Frank-”

“You got a better goddamn idea?”

Great. You’re not even supposed to be here, and now you’re about to either go to prison or die in a shootout.

Your eyes frantically searched around Frank’s truck for something that could help the two of you out. As Frank rested the gun against his chest with a firm grip on the handle and his index finger pressed along the barrel, an idea suddenly popped into your head that made your stomach flip.

“Put it away.”

Frank turned his head and stared at you curiously when he heard the firm tone of your voice, but his confusion quickly morphed into pure annoyance. He scoffed, opening his mouth to protest before you turned in your seat to face him.

“You asked if I had a better idea and I do.”

Frank stared you down for what felt like an eternity. His features were set in a harsher version of their normal broody appearance, and the hardness in his eyes sent a shiver down your spine. A muscle feathered in his jaw as he ground his teeth, stealing one last glance at the side view mirror before stashing the pistol back underneath the seat, grumbling a string of curses under his breath.

“Now what? What’s this grand fuckin’ plan of yours, huh?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the door to the patrol car swing open. Quickly dashing across the truck bench, you ungracefully climbed onto Frank’s lap. His entire body immediately went rigid, and he looked absolutely stunned as he stared into your eyes. 

“What-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you grabbed onto the back of his neck and leaned in to firmly press your lips against his. Frank stilled completely beneath you for a good thirty seconds, and you could feel the tension practically radiating from his body. You started to worry that maybe you should have at least given him a snippet of your plan before-oh.

Oh.

A warmth suddenly spread across your thighs and it took a second for your brain to register that it was from Frank’s hands. They experimentally roamed up the expanse of your thighs until they slowly climbed up your hips, settling on your waist in a firm but delicate grip. All the previous anxiety that was buzzing in your veins seemed to be drowned out by the sensation of the tender pace of his lips finally responding to your chaste kiss.

God, his lips were as soft as they looked, and so warm. There was a bitterness to the way he tasted from the copious amounts of freshly brewed black coffee he had consumed, but it was cut through by lingering sweet mint from the gum he had spat out earlier. 

The gentleness of his touch and his uncertain kiss was surprising for someone who was so rough in so many other aspects of their life. You couldn’t help but grab a small fistful of the collar of his gray henley while you melted into his strong chest, your fingernails lightly scratching at the back of his neck with your other hand, holding him as close as physically possible. A low groan sounded quietly in the back of Frank’s throat when you dragged your nails against his skin, and it traveled straight to your-

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Jumping at the sudden intrusion of noise, you turned your head to see a young officer staring between you and Frank awkwardly, the end of his flashlight hovering over the glass of the driver’s side window. When the window was slowly rolled down, the seriousness of the previous situation broke through the haze of lust you had found yourself in, and you suddenly remembered why you were in Frank’s lap in the first place. Before you could scramble out an explanation, Frank’s rough voice cut through the timid silence and startled you.

“What?”

The young officer jumped backwards immediately from the way Frank practically barked at him, and you turned your head to stare at him in surprise. His chest was rising and falling quickly, his thick brows were knit together in pure frustration, and you could see that familiar flame of rage burning in his eyes.

He looked pissed.

Looking back at the officer, you let out a nervous laugh as you pressed your palm flat against Frank’s chest in an attempt to calm him, flashing the young man a soft smile.

“I’m sorry, is…is there a problem?”

He gulped as his eyes flickered from Frank’s unwavering hardened glare to you, nodding slowly as he uncomfortably gestured behind himself with his thumb.

“I…sorry to uh…interrupt. It’s just…well…this is private property. You’re…technically trespassing.”

Hearing the aggravated grunt that sounded from Frank as he opened his mouth to speak, you quickly covered his mouth with your small palm and let out another nervous laugh, trying to keep the officer’s attention on you.

“I’m very sorry, that’s um…that’s my fault. It’s…it’s our first night with a babysitter so, we got a little…carried away. I’m sure you can understand?”

There was a hopeful tone to your voice as your lips parted into the most convincing charming smile you could muster at the moment, hoping he would take the bait so that you and Frank could leave without a scene being caused. When the young man’s lips parted into a light smile, you felt a sense of ease wash over you. 

“Of course, I can definitely…understand.”

But that ease was short lived when you caught where his line of sight went, and felt Frank’s grip on your waist tighten possessively.

As the young officer spoke those words, he made the mistake of letting his eyes wander over your chest in a shameless way, and you panicked when you felt Frank lean forward, reaching with one hand underneath his seat while also shielding your chest from the man’s prying eyes with his large body.

“The fuck are you lookin’ at?”

The officer instantly took another large step back, holding his hands up in surrender and mumbling a string of apologies as Frank started going off on him, reaching for the handle to the door. You quickly grabbed his jaw in your hand and forced him to look at you, staring into his furious glare with wide eyes as you whispered frantically through gritted teeth.

“Frank, stop it.”

Glancing back over at the young man, you let out a soft laugh as you waved your shaky hand dismissively. 

“I’m really sorry, we’ll just…leave. We’ll leave. Have a good night.”

Quickly rolling up the window, you scurried back into the passenger seat and swiftly put your seatbelt on. When Frank didn’t move an inch, you turned your head to look at him, seeing a twisted up concoction of anger and confusion on his features. You hysterically gestured towards the steering wheel as you gawked at him.

“What are you doing? Drive!”

Frank’s jaw hardened as he let out a heavy grunt, turning the keys in the ignition and flashing the officer one final death glare before peeling off onto the dirt road in the opposite direction. Once the patrol car was out of sight, you let out a deep breath of relief and held your face in your trembling hands as you tried to calm your nerves.

Your mind was racing with all the worst possible case scenarios. What if that officer was with the Defenders of Freedom too? Is that why he was on that road? Did he get Frank’s license plate? Is he telling the others that the two of you found their base of operations? What would-

“That was good quick thinkin’.”

Frank’s gravely voice cutting through the silence made you realize that neither of you had spoken in the past ten minutes. Turning your head to look over at him, your brows knit together in puzzlement.

“What?”

Frank’s eyes darted over to you timidly, only for a moment, before settling back on the road in front of him.

“Your…plan.”

His voice sounded somewhat strained, and you noticed his features were blanketed in an expression you couldn’t fully make out from the faint glow of the street lights. He almost looked…shy?

Shy was not a word you would ever normally use to describe Frank Castle.

There was suddenly a feeling of heat nipping at the tops of your cheeks, and you were swiftly aware of the lingering sensation of your lips tingling from the kiss. 

Is that why he couldn’t hardly look at you?

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”

Frank arched one of his thick brows as his eyes flickered back over towards you once again, his full lips pursing slightly as he nodded.

“Yeah…I s’pose they do.”

There was a layer of questioning in his tone, and you leaned back in your seat as you looked anywhere but at him while clearing your throat.

“It usually makes people look away, or want to get as far away from it as soon as possible.”

A quiet grunt of agreeance sounded in the back of Frank’s throat.

“That’s…smart.”

An uncomfortable silence settled between you and Frank, and the small unoccupied space in the middle of the truck bed suddenly felt like an ocean separating the two of you. Tension hung thick and heavy in the miniscule space of the cab like an awkward fog that you couldn’t have even sliced through with the sharpened hunter’s knife on Frank’s hip.

For the next half hour, the quiet thrum of the truck engine was the only sound disrupting the tense silence.

»»———　　———««

Stepping past Frank’s large frame into the motel room he had rented for the night, your eyes immediately landed on the bed in the middle of the room.

The bed.

The one. 

Single. 

Bed.

Glancing over your shoulder at Frank, he caught where your gaze had gone, and there was a sheepish expression on his face.

“Last room they had.”

Doing your best to appear nonchalant about the situation, you gave a slight nod of your head in understanding as you surveyed the room. The dingy wallpaper was beyond faded and peeling where the torn edges pulled away from the top of the wall. What had once probably been a tasteful shade of tan looked more like a muted shade of gold. The queen size bed in the middle of the room was covered in a multi-shade paisley quilt that the word ‘ugly’ couldn’t even begin to describe, and contrasted sharply with the hunter green carpet beneath your feet.

“You didn’t make a reservation?”

The joke you attempted to make to lighten the mood fell flat as Frank eyed you with an unreadable expression, dropping his black duffle bag onto the floor with a slight thud.

“Wasn’t expectin’ company. It ain’t the Ritz, but-”

“Frank, it’s fine. I was joking.”

“Right.”

The uncomfortable silence and awkward tension were absolutely killing you. 

Things had never been this weird with Frank, and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. So you did the one thing you always did when you didn’t want to deal with an unpleasant situation.

You ran away from it.

“I’m gonna take a shower.”

About halfway through rushing towards the bathroom, you abruptly halted in your steps when you realized that you couldn’t shower because you didn’t have anything. You had slept at Frank’s last night, and you couldn’t go by your place this morning since it was an active crime scene. 

You had no clothes. No toothbrush. No nothing.

“Shit.”

“You alright?”

There was a cautious tone to Frank’s deep voice, but it was clearly laced with concern when it nestled in your ears. You turned around to face him, your lips pulled into a tight expression that was supposed to resemble a smile, but probably looked more like a grimace.

“I just realized I don’t have anything.”

Frank cocked his head to the side slightly while he looked over at you, curiosity and confusion swirling around in his deep brown eyes.

“We couldn’t stop by my place this morning…and we left kinda in a hurry…so…”

All of a sudden you could see realization dawning on Frank’s face. His features softened considerably, and he quickly glanced at the small analog clock on the nightstand by the bed. It was late, and you were nearly in the middle of nowhere in some small town upstate about twenty miles from the location Frank had been given. There was nothing around the motel except a rundown gas station and a little twenty-four hour diner.

Frank turned his attention back to you, and his dark eyes wandered over you for a second before he met your gaze again. There was an apologetic expression on his features as he reached down to grab his duffle bag, walking over to set it down on the edge of the bed while he unzipped it and started to rustle through it.

“Here, I got some stuff you can borrow-”

“It’s okay. I can just-”

“Ain’t a big deal. I got extras of some things. Can’t promise anythin’ will fit or smell pretty.”

Frank glanced up to flash you a tiny smile as he held out a small pile of things towards you. As you reached out to take the items from him, your fingers lightly brushed against his, and you felt a spark shock through your system. Looking up at him, your lips tugged into a tight timid smile while you nodded.

“Thanks, Frank.”

Without waiting for a response, you dashed into the small bathroom for some privacy, hoping you’d be able to get yourself the fuck together.

Any attempt you were going to make to try to push that kiss from earlier out of your head was completely ruined when you began to lather his body wash in your hands to rub it into your wet skin, being careful to avoid getting any suds in your hurt hand, and comb it through your hair, since Frank was apparently a two in one kind of guy. Even though the temperature of the water was a degree short of scalding, the areas of your body that had been caressed by Frank’s large hands burned hotter.

He had touched you, really touched you, beyond the point of just trying to sell your distraction. He didn’t have to kiss you back the way he had. He could’ve just let his lips stay modestly pressed to yours until the officer walked up.

But Frank seemed to have lost himself in the kiss just as much as you had. 

So why was he acting so strange now? If he wanted that kiss as much as you did, why was he acting more reserved with you now than he ever had before? Was his perceived passion blown out of proportion by your greedy and selfish imagination? 

Or did he simply regret it?

The whirlwind of questions and convoluted doubt only got worse when you slipped his clothes on. 

His clothes.

Frank had given you a long sleeve black t-shirt that was ridiculously soft and comfortable. You had recalled seeing him wear it on several occasions. While it fit him snugly, the sleeves hung comically off your hands, and the bottom of it reached the middle of your thighs. Your eyes had momentarily widened seeing that he had given you a pair of his black briefs, but they fit you somewhat better than the sweatpants he had offered. 

It felt strangely intimate to be in Frank’s clothes. Granted, wearing someone else’s underwear is kind of intimate, but it also made you feel…comforted in an odd way. You were completely doused head to toe in the familiar scent of Frank, and that made you feel safe in a way that you had only ever felt with him.

When you stepped out of the steamy bathroom, Frank was sitting on the edge of the bed with his phone in his hand, staring down at it intently. He perked up when he heard the bathroom door creak open, and his eyes instantly snapped over to look over at you. His dark brown eyes roamed slowly over the sight of you in his clothes, and when he finally met your gaze, there was a look there you hadn’t seen before.

But it made your knees weak.

Trying to dispel the thick layer of tension in the air, you cleared your throat as you slowly walked over towards him and handed the pair of sweatpants back with a soft smile on your lips.

“I gave them my best shot.”

Frank’s eyes softened slightly and he let out a light chuckle, taking the sweats from you to place into his own lap.

“Everythin’ else work alright?”

“Yeah…yeah, um…thank you.”

“Sure. We’ll find a store first thing in the mornin’, get ya some stuff. How’s the hand?”

Frank held one of his large hands out towards you expectantly, and without even thinking, you placed your injured one on top of his.

“It’s fine. I wrapped it.”

He pushed back the sleeve past your wrist to inspect your handiwork, delicately turning your wrist from left to right to examine the placement and tightness of the layers of gauze covering your wounded palm and fingers. He made a subtle expression of pride, his dark eyes flickering up to meet yours with a nod of approval. 

“Not bad.”

“I had a good teacher.”

Frank looked up at you with slightly raised brows, and then a quirk of a smile curled at the edge of his lips when it clicked that you had learned by watching him tend to your hand last night. 

“S’pose you did.”

When Frank let go of your hand and rose from the bed, he moved to step around you, and you watched him toe off his boots by the door before starting to rummage through his duffle bag again. He had ditched his black denim jacket, and it looked like his shirt was straining against the expanse of his large back. When your eyes wandered upwards, your breath caught in your throat seeing a faint pink vertical line on the back of his neck.

The one you had left with your nails.

A surge of heat instantly spread across the tops of your cheeks, and between your thighs, as the phantom touch of Frank’s firm grasp on your waist burned once again on your skin. You had fantasized so many times about sitting on Frank’s lap and kissing him like that, but your imagination could never compare to the real thing. Your lips started to tingle again at the memory of his warm and soft lips responding eagerly to your kiss, and your ears rang loudly with the echo of his low groan that had sounded in his throat. 

You were all of a sudden painfully aware of the fact that you were getting wet in Frank’s underwear. 

You had never been so affected just from kissing someone before. Not even when you made out with a boy for the first time. Or…any boy you made out with for that matter.

Hell, Steven couldn’t even get you that worked up with his hand in your panties and detailed fucking instructions.

But Frank…Frank just drove you absolutely fucking wild.

“What happens now?”

Frank turned his head to look at you over his broad shoulder when your soft voice cut through the stillness. You could hear the faint desperation in your own voice, and you knew it heard it too. Frank never missed anything. There was a hesitancy to his features, and irresolution swimming around in his eyes, like he wasn’t sure what exactly you were referring to. 

What happens with the investigation?

What happens tomorrow?

What happens next with us, Frank?

Frank carefully turned around to face you fully, and while his face appeared neutral, there was something glowing in his eyes.

“With what?”

His words were laced with pure curiosity, but there was a coveted challenge concealed within them. You didn’t have the courage to ask the question you really wanted the answer to, and you had a feeling Frank wouldn’t answer it unless he was prompted. Even then, there was a good chance he would avoid it. A sobering thought washed over you that you might not be prepared for that answer anyway, so you decided to play it safe.

“Well…we can’t go back there, right?”

Frank’s lips pursed into a somewhat thin line. He almost looked like he was disappointed by your choice of question. His pensive eyes studied you silently for a moment before clutching that same pair of sweatpants he had offered you in his large hand and stalking off towards the bathroom.

“I’ll figure somethin’ out.”

When the door to the bathroom firmly shut, you flopped back onto the stiff mattress with a heavy sigh and closed your eyes. 

It was going to be a very long night.

These sleepovers with Frank were not going the way you had fantasized about previously at all.

»»———　　———««

Ten minutes later, Frank quietly emerged from the bathroom, and your eyes doubled in size as your jaw nearly became fully unhinged. The dark gray pair of sweatpants that he had offered you were slung dangerously low on his hips, and a delicious white sliver of the waistband of his briefs were peeking out above them. His cropped dark hair was tousled in damp curls, and droplets of warm water cascaded down the expanse of his lean and toned figure. Frank’s skin looked so smooth, like an exemplary chiseled piece of artwork carved into tan marble; a Greek god perfectly immortalized in impenetrable stone.

Your rapacious eyes were particularly interested in a droplet that was leisurely making its way down one of his deep cut v-lines, only to become absorbed by the fabric of his sweats. While you were marveling at the view of the unveiled Adonis before you, a sight abruptly caught your attention.

There was a faint pink scar above his right hip.

In an instant, you were no longer staring at him through cherry tinted lenses of desire, but with a slight pang of sadness cutting through your chest. There were numerous scars marked on Frank’s body. Some were faded, nearly blending in with his normal flesh tone, while some were opaque, a clear striking contrast of pain endured in comparison to the untainted color of skin that had never known affliction. Some were deep indentations nestled in his skin, almost to the bone, while others casually crested above the sea level of undisrupted ripples of flesh. 

“I was a Marine.”

Frank’s deep voice cutting through the silence of the motel room swiftly redirected your line of sight to his face. He had a gray tank top in his large hands, and he subtly seemed to be wringing it with a twinge of nervousness. There was an unrestrained expression of aversion in his eyes, as if he didn’t know whether to hide the evidence of an unforgiving past, or allow you to consume this rare moment of vulnerability completely.

For a moment your eyes dropped to the chain around his neck. 

The gold wedding band.

You hadn’t seen a glimpse of it since that night at the bar, when you’d caught sight of him in your guest bathroom with a few of his shirt buttons undone. You still didn’t know if it was his or if it had belonged to his wife, or what happened to her, but it was hard to look at now.

You didn’t like seeing him look so uncomfortable, so you did your best to put him at ease with a tender smile on your lips as you looked up at him in genuine understanding and grace.

“That…actually makes a lot of sense.”

Frank glanced down at the shirt in his hands for a moment, an apparition of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as a dry and short chuckle escaped his mouth.

“I’ll try not to take offense to that.”

The elusive, light-hearted tone of his voice made you wonder if you could try to dismantle at least one of the many walls that he seemed to have up within him. You didn’t want to pry too much, but you’d had so many questions about Frank for months, and it seemed like he was finally giving you a rare window to get a few answers.

“Is…is that where those came from?”

“Most of ‘em.”

Frank kept his gaze averted downwards on the shirt in his hand as he spoke in a hushed tone, like his admissions couldn’t be uttered above a certain decibel level. It almost appeared as though it was easier for him to be vulnerable with you if he didn’t have to look at you. 

Was he nervous to see your reaction to his rare divulgence? Or was there something lurking in the shadows of history that he couldn’t face?

Was he thinking about your lips as much as you were thinking about his?

You had to focus. You weren’t sure how grand or miniscule this window of opportunity was with Frank. This moment could be just as magnificently fleeting as a shooting star escaping across the cosmos, and if you blinked at the wrong second, you would miss it. 

This could be your one chance to finally break through those meticulously crafted barriers of his. To unravel the chains of mystery that seemed to weigh him down, and finally erase that invisible line separating him from everyone else that he never seemed to let you cross. 

But, you couldn’t push too hard. If your curiosity was too intrusive, he’d immediately shut down. If you misstepped over the delicate minefield of his own temper, you risked an explosion. It had to be the most graceful balancing act you’d ever done.

You had to treat this like the most important story of your entire career. Carefully pose the questions as innocent conversation, instead of an interrogation, and give him the space to answer as generally or as detailed as he wanted to.

Billy’s advice seemed to echo in your ears at that moment.

You gotta let him come to you.

“How long were you in the Marines?”

“Did four tours.”

When you didn’t speak for a moment, Frank finally lifted his head to meet your gaze. There was a twinkle of amusement shining in his warm brown eyes at your evident confusion, and he let out a light chuckle as a crooked smile tugged across his lips.

“All in all, little over ten years.”

A faint blush layered over the tops of your cheeks at your own ignorance. Normally when you interviewed someone, you had the benefit of being able to research them beforehand. With Frank, you were having to make up everything as you go with the extremely limited knowledge you had of him, and of his experience. You knew virtually nothing about the Marines, or the military in general, but seemed to be feeling generous in offering explanations.

“Did you enjoy it?”

“I was good at it.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Frank glanced around the motel room for a moment, seemingly lost in his own thoughts while pondering the question that lingered between you. After a beat of silence, he sat down on the edge of the bed with a heavy exhale, just a few inches away from where you had been sitting cross-legged on the middle of the mattress, and turned his head to the left to look at you. 

“Did you always wanna be a journalist?”

Frank’s question took you by surprise. He didn’t often ask you personal questions about yourself, but you decided if you answered his questions honestly, maybe he would do the same.

“I’ve always been nosey.”

The corner of Frank’s full lips quirked up into a knowing smile, and you couldn’t help but let out a huff of air through your nose in a quiet snort.

“That don’t surprise me.”

Giving Frank a playful roll of your eyes in response to his comment, you lightly shrugged your shoulders, looking up at him with a faint smile on your lips.

“I’ve always liked story-telling. I’ve never really had the imagination to come up with my own, but I like other people’s stories, and I’ve always enjoyed writing. I thought a club would look good on my college applications, and I wasn’t very athletic or talented in anything else, so I decided to join my high school’s paper. That’s where I really fell in love with investigative journalism, which I realize sounds ridiculous given I was reporting high school ‘news’ but-”

“It ain’t ridiculous if it was important to ya.”

The sincerity in Frank’s tone coupled with the depth of his alluring gaze almost made you forget what you were talking about. It also made you suddenly aware of the fact that every time you downplayed yourself, Frank was quick to cut off your self-deprecation with a genuine sentiment. For a second, all you could do was stare into his eyes, until you decided to bare your soul in front of him.

“It was the first time I really felt like I was good at something. Like I…I had a purpose. I had something that was…mine. I could do something meaningful…something that mattered. It could be something I was proud of.”

Frank stayed silent while he soaked up the candor of your confession, like he was taking the time to commit every piece of it to memory. Sometimes you felt like he could see right through you when he stared into your eyes, and you felt incredibly small under his undivided attention. His head dipped slightly between his broad shoulders when he turned his head to stare down at his clasped hands for a moment.

“I never knew what the hell I wanted to do. I was a…bit of a troublemaker when I was a kid. My parents…they were older, ya’know? Couldn’t really do nothin’ to control me. I knew that, and took advantage of it. I was a real…”

“Asshole?”

Frank’s lips parted into a crooked smile, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.

“I was gonna say prick. But…yeah. I was a little asshole.”

“Well thank God you grew out of that.”

Frank dropped his head slightly to stare back down at his hands again with a light chuckle. Your eyes followed his gaze, and you noticed a few scars covering his knuckles, resembling jagged designs carved into a tree trunk.

“I enlisted when I was eighteen. Thought…what the hell, ya’know? Was never any good at school or anythin’ like that…and I didn’t wanna get stuck at some…shit job. Thought it was my ticket out, ya’know? Get to travel, play with guns and tanks, that kinda shit.”

The light smile that had been on the edge of Frank’s mouth dissipated slowly, and his thick brows slowly drew closer in together while he rubbed his right thumb over the back of his left hand.

“Bein’ a Marine…it was the first time in my life I felt like I was worth a damn. Like I was really doin’ somethin’, ya’know? Somethin’ good…somethin’ important. I was good at it, damn good at it. Felt like I…like I finally found-”

“A purpose.”

Frank’s eyes flickered up to meet yours, and there seemed to be a shared expression of understanding between the two of you. You knew exactly what he meant, and he could see that reflected in your eyes.

“A purpose.”

He repeated those two words in a more quiet and contemplative voice, like he was repeating them more to himself than to you.

“So, how do you go from being a Marine to a bodyguard for a high maintenance journalist?”

“Just that goddamn lucky, I s’pose.”

The edges of Frank’s mouth twisted up into a sardonic smirk when he turned his head to look at you, and you were about to retort with a smartass comment of your own when you noticed something you hadn’t seen before.

Without even thinking, your hand reached out to trace a circular shaped scar on Frank’s left temple with your index finger. He didn’t go rigid when you touched him this time, not like he had in the truck. The smirk swiftly vanished along with the playful crinkles beside his eyes, and his full lips parted slightly while he stared at you intently as you lightly traced your finger over the mark. 

It was indented slightly, and you could feel the faint dip beneath your fingertip. The edges of it were tinted more of a blush shade, making it obvious this wound had been made more recently than some of the others adorning his skin. It almost looked like a bullet hole…and that idea had your stomach twisting into tight knots.

“What’s this one from?”

All of a sudden, Frank’s large hand wrapped around your wrist to push your hand away at the exact same time he turned he pulled his hand away from your delicate caress. His lips were now pressed in a line and that familiar hardness was back in his gaze. 

And just like that, whatever moment you two were having was clearly over. 

Frank suddenly stood from the edge of the bed and silently pulled his tank top over his head, slipping his large arms through the sleeve holes and covering his body with the dark gray fabric.

“We should call it a night.”

Frank’s voice was flat, and you felt a surge of frustration burn in your bloodstream. Every time you felt like you were getting somewhere with him, he pulled back. It was like you were constantly trying to carefully navigate your way up an unclimbable mountain, and as soon as the peak came into view, you lost your footing and fell to the bottom. 

He grabbed one of the pillows from the bed and tossed it onto the floor, and a crease of confusion settled in the middle of your forehead.

“What are you doing?”

“I’ll take the floor. You can have the bed.”

You looked down at the queen size bed you were sitting on top of, a bed of which you barely took up any space, and then looked back over at Frank, who was in the middle of making a pallet on the floor.

“Frank, you don’t have to sleep on the floor. This bed is big enough for both of us.”

“Slept in worse conditions.”

You pinched at the bridge of your nose in pure irritation at both the insensitive implications behind his remark and his unrelenting stubbornness.

“So you’ve told me, several times. Thank you, by the way, for telling me that you think sharing a bed with me is worse than whatever the hell your setup was in the military. You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet, Castle. I had no idea you were such a poet.”

Frank’s face twisted up in puzzlement and aggravation at the tone of sarcasm dripping from your clipped words.

“That ain’t what I-”

“I don’t want to hear a single complaint in the morning when you’re stiff and sore from choosing to sleep on the fucking floor.”

As you vexingly tugged back the thin and somewhat stiff quilt on top of the bed, you slid beneath it, the scratchiness of the cheap sheets against your bare legs only souring your mood even further. While you turned onto your side away from Frank and harshly smacked your hand against the button to turn off the lamp on the nightstand, he stared down at you with furrowed dark brows and a heavy frown in complete exasperation and perplexity.

“Oh for fucks-why is it always a goddamn argument with you?”

“Why are you always such an ass?”

“I’m an ass for tryin’ to be a gentleman and make sure you’re comfortable?”

Dragging your palms down your face with an irritated groan, you furiously sat up in the bed to look over at Frank with an exacerbated expression while the two of you raised your voices at each other in yet another argument.

“How are you making me uncomfortable if I’m offering, Frank? This bed is big, so big that you wouldn’t even have to breathe the same air as me. We could even put pillows down the middle just to make sure that we don’t accidentally touch in the middle of the night, because God fucking forbid-”

“Oh Jesus fuckin’ Christ, fine.”

Frank ripped the pillow off the ground and angrily tossed it onto the bed, tugging the covers back from the other side of the mattress to slip underneath angrily. He turned his head to glare at you as he harshly gestured towards himself in the bed.

“There? Happy? You gonna stop fuckin’ givin’ me shit, now?”

Returning Frank’s fuming glare with one of your own, the two of you seemed to be locked in an angry staring contest until you conceded and turned over again, dragging the unpleasant quilt up to your chin. You grit your teeth as you squeezed your eyes shut, letting out an aggravated exhale through your nose. 

As hot as your blood felt in your veins, there was also a nauseating feeling of disappointment settling in your stomach.

Frank wasn’t thinking about your lips. He wasn’t thinking about your kiss at all. If he was, it was him wishing it didn’t happen.

Maybe that was part of the reason he wanted to sleep on the floor and seemed so pissed off at you. He didn’t want to be near you. He was mad that you kissed him without his permission. 

You’d made him uncomfortable.

On the other side of the bed, Frank stared at the back of your head in the dim amber light of the room coming from the other bedside lamp. Turning his head to stare straight ahead blankly at the wall in front of him, he closed his eyes for a moment and let out a slow and heavy exhale as he grumbled a string of curses under his breath. 

After a few terse minutes of deafening silence, you could feel Frank shifting underneath the sheets, and his gravelly voice filtered in through the dense quiet.

“Look, I wasn’t tryin’ to hurt your feelin’s-”

“You didn’t-”

“Yes, I did. I wasn’t implyin’ that sharin’ a bed with you was such a bad thing, alright? I only meant I slept in worse places than on a floor, s’all.”

Frank genuinely sounded apologetic, and you felt a rush of guilt wash over you from the way you had twisted his words, jumped to conclusions, and reacted poorly. He let out another heavy sigh before speaking again.

“I just…wanted you to feel comfortable.”

The hushed tone of his voice made it sound like he was entrusting you with his deepest secret. Swallowing down your pride, you turned on your side to face Frank, looking over at him silently for a moment before letting out a soft sigh.

“Frank, you’ve never made me uncomfortable.”

He was laying on his back, his head slightly propped up against the headboard, but his face was turned towards you. He seemed to be searching your eyes for any thread of faultiness in your words that he could unravel. 

“I…I’m sorry I called you an ass.”

“You’re sorry for tellin’ me the truth?”

Frank arched one of his dark brows, and you could detect a faint smirk on the edge of his lips, even in the dim light of the room. You rolled your eyes as you laughed quietly.

“Can you just let me just apologize to you for making an ass of myself?”

Frank eyed you for a moment with a sly tug at the corner of his mouth.

“Aren’t good reporters s’posed to reserve their conclusions ‘bout somethin’ ‘til they got all the evidence?”

The low, hushed tone Frank spoke in to not disrupt the quiet peace that settled between the two of you made his voice sound sultry. That twinkle of amusement was shining in his eyes again, and you fought the grin that threatened to take over your lips.

Playful Frank was your favorite Frank.

“Are you implying that I’m not a good reporter, Mr. Castle?”

A low chuckle rumbled in Frank’s throat as he moved his right arm behind his head, closing his eyes while he turned his head to face upwards with a faint smirk on his lips.

“Considerin’ you’re trigger happy, and there’s ‘bout three guns within your reach, no. Absolutely not.”

“I am not-”

“Did you not just jump all over my ass a second ago over a misunderstandin’?”

Frank opened his eyes to look over at you, his thick dark brows raised slightly while that faint smirk remained subtly on his full lips.

Narrowing your eyes playfully, you poked your tongue against the inside of your cheek and lightly shrugged your shoulders beneath the quilt.

“Well, you gave me the conclusion that you were an ass the first day I met you, and you’ve only reinforced it since then. You also did just admit on record that you’ve been an ass since you were a kid, so.”

Another chuckle sounded from Frank as a grunt of agreeance sounded in his throat.

“I reckon you’re right ‘bout that.”

A few moments of tranquil quiet passed by between the two of you, but you were buzzing with questions on the inside. However, something he said abruptly clicked in your brain, and your eyes widened as you looked over at him.

“Frank?”

“Yeah?”

“Are there really three guns in this room?”

“Three on your side.”

Blinking a few times in dumbfoundment, your brows knit together as you stared over at him incredulously.

“What…what do you mean ‘three on my side’? How many are on your side?”

“Two, and a knife.”

“Jesus Christ, Rambo. Anything else?”

Frank let out a deep and amused chuckle at that, placing his left hand on his chest as he shifted slightly on his back to get comfortable.

“In the truck, yeah.”

“What? There’s more?”

“Go to bed.”

There was no firmness in Frank’s voice, just complete entertainment. You glanced around the dimly lit motel room cautiously, wondering where he might have placed them.

“Where are they?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

Letting out a scoff, you turned your head to look at him in minor annoyance.

“What if someone tries to break in?”

“I’ll handle it.”

You narrowed your eyes at the mirthy smirk curling on the edge of his mouth.

“What if…five people break in?”

“Highly unlikely, but both guns on my side got a clip that hold 12 rounds. You done?”

An exasperated huff left your lips as you turned to lay on your back and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Isn’t it proper safety protocol to let someone know where loaded firearms are stashed?”

“They ain’t loaded.”

“You just said-”

“The ones on my side are loaded. The ones on your side ain’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

“You said it yourself. You’re nosey, and you never even held a gun before.”

You opened your mouth to retort, but to your irritation, Frank had a point. Not that you would admit that out loud to him. 

A few minutes of silence passed by before you spoke up again.

“You could always teach me.”

Frank opened his eyes and turned his head slightly to look at you, staring at you in a mixture of interest and confusion.

“Teach you what?”

You turned back onto your side to face him and lightly shrugged your shoulders.

“How to shoot.”

It was Frank’s time to stare at you in dumbfoundment. He arched one of his thick brows while he eyed you.

“You wanna learn how to shoot?”

“I mean…people are only trying to kill me.”

Frank didn’t return the playful smile that you flashed him, and it quickly fell from your lips. This was not going to be something he was going to agree to easily. You were really going to have to fight for this one. You had to show him that you were serious.

“If you hadn’t shown up last night, those men were going to kill me, Frank. I don’t ever want to feel that helpless ever again.”

The devout honesty in your voice was unmistakable, and Frank let out a deep exhale as he turned his head to look up towards the ceiling and closed his eyes again.

“Let’s deal with this shit first, then we’ll talk.”

There was a tiny surge of victory that coursed through you at that. It wasn’t technically a yes, but it also wasn’t a flat out no. You just needed to keep proving to him that this was something you were serious about.

You wanted to bring up the kiss, but you weren’t sure how to approach it. You didn’t want to ruin the peace your playful banter had brought about with Frank, but you couldn’t leave it alone. 

Why was he so goddamn hard to read?

Why was he still being so hot and cold with you?

Even if he was still your bodyguard, the two of you were way past the point of professionalism.

“Frank?”

“Hm?”

“I…I’m sorry…if I made you uncomfortable.”

The thin material of the pillowcase rustled loudly in the quiet as Frank turned his head to look at you inquisitively, like he had no idea what you were talking about.

“Earlier…when I…kissed you.”

There wasn’t a desert on any continent as dry as your mouth right now, and your heart was pounding so relentlessly against the sturdy ivory of your ribcage, you swore he could hear it a few inches away.

The cloudy ignorance seemed to dissipate from between his brows, and his features migrated to an expression of recognition. For a moment he didn’t say anything, and it made you realize you found his silence far more unnerving than his unwanted answers.

“You didn’t.”

There was such a confidence behind those two words that it nearly knocked the breath out of your lungs. Those two little words held so many portals of possibilities.

You didn’t; it just caught me off guard.

You didn’t; everything is fine between us.

You didn’t; I wanted to taste you.

Staring over at Frank, words seemed to completely vanish from your brain. You didn’t know what to say. You had no idea how to respond to that. The intensity of his piercing gaze sent a slight shiver tumbling down your spine despite the blazing warmth you could feel radiating from his body a few inches away from you.

The amber glow from the bedside lamp lit up his eyes like the golden hour of sunlight shining through a glass of whiskey. You wanted to get lost in him again. You wanted to take your rightful place on the throne of his lap, tangle your fingers in his hair like a crown, and let him rule over the kingdom inside your body.

“Frank.”

Was the delicate whisper of his name a desperate plea, or an enticing invitation? 

It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he answered it.

For a moment, his mesmerizing stare dropped to your lips, and you swore you saw him start to lean in-

But then at the last second, he cleared his throat and turned over onto his side away from you, moving as close to the edge of the bed on his side as he could get. Frank’s voice was rough when it reached your ears, no trace of the warm and playful tone he had used just minutes ago.

“Get some sleep.”

That hopeful ember of desire that he had ignited in you had been completely snuffed out by his own hand before the flame could even catch, and the ambient light in the motel went out along with it leaving you in dumbfoundment and darkness.

tags: @twoshields @day-dreaming-goddess @messymissy @itwasthereaminuteago @strawberry1042 @queenofthenoobs @wanda2themax @xcastawayherosx @ferns-fics @stevenknightmarc @ponyosmom35 @babygal-babygal @wellwwhynot @oldermenaremyreligion @combustiblemeow @tired-night-owl @fairykiss32 @danzer8705 @calkissed @fxckahs-blog @lemon-world1 @yeah3459 @collaps3r @polskiperson @imperihoe @v4leoftears @harperdoodle @spideyvibez @joalslibrary @cherry-berry-ollie @annalism @sorrowfulfragmentation @kdogreads @sumo-b98

[navybrat817]

No Other Love

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary: Bucky wants to surprise you with a romantic evening.

Word Count: Over 2.1k

Warnings: Fluff, established relationship, slight feels (it’s me, okay), Bucky Barnes being romantic (he’s a warning, okay?).

A/N: I received some sad news and almost didn't post, but I wanted to share something that brought happy tears to my eyes with Stud. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Moodboard by yours truly and divider by the amazing @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky sent you to your room and wouldn’t tell you why. He had a surprise planned for you and refused to give you any sort of a hint. He only said he debated kicking you out for a few hours, but didn’t want to risk you getting back too early or late. Oh, and he asked you to put on a dress. Your boyfriend had a romantic plan in mind and you wouldn't deny his request.

You did, however, demand snacks while you waited.

“You want me to feed you just because I’m asking you not to go into the kitchen or dining area for a bit?” he smiled when you pointed to the pantry.

“If I can’t leave my room, I will need sustenance,” you replied.

Just like you didn’t argue about his surprise plans, he didn’t argue when he handed over the food.

“What is he doing out there?” you mumbled to yourself, crossing your arms. You debated pressing your ear against the door to listen, but your stealthy boyfriend managed to keep quiet. “Can I come out now?!” you called out.

“No! Don’t distract me!” he yelled back.

You huffed and flopped back against the pillow. It wasn’t that you didn’t like surprises. You just preferred knowing things. Blame it on your curious nature. It was one of the reasons you enjoyed studying. Expanding your mind and absorbing knowledge centered you. With surprises, however, the only option you had was to wait.

But it’s worth it because it’s Stud.

“‘Don’t distract me.’ Like you haven’t distracted me when I have things to do,” you muttered to yourself as you grabbed a book from your nightstand. “Menace of a boyfriend.”

“You talking about me?” he shouted as you mindlessly flipped through the pages.

How the hell…?

“No! Just reading! Get back to work or whatever it is that you’re doing!”

“You trust me, right?” He asked.

Even though he couldn't see your face, you smiled. “Completely,” you answered.

If there was anyone in the world you trusted with your entire being, it was Bucky.

“Then trust that this will be worth it.”

“You got it, Stud!” you said, assuming he went back to work since he chuckled and didn't say anything else.

You passed the time with your book before you got up to look in the mirror. Since Bucky didn’t say what kind of dress to wear, you picked something simple and blue. You loved the color before, but he made you appreciate it more. You felt peace when you looked into his eyes.

Trust, loyalty, love.

You just finished spritzing a bit of perfume on your neck when Bucky knocked on the door. Instead of opening it as you expected, he slid a piece of paper under it instead. As you moved closer, you realized it was shaped like a puzzle piece. Smiling, you picked it up to read the message he wrote.

In my wildest dreams, I never thought someone as amazing as you would come into my life. I hope I’m your dream come true and better than any book boyfriend you've read about.

Oh, Bucky.

With misty eyes, you read the message again and traced the letters with your finger. Bucky was the best boyfriend in the universe and you didn’t think that just because he was yours. Any girl would be lucky to have a man like him by his side. Someone loving and steadfast and true.

“Count to ten and then come out,” Bucky said through the door as you composed yourself.

After silently counting to ten as he instructed, you opened the door with a gasp. Bucky took your apartment, one you saw daily, and transformed it. Fairy lights, adjustable lamps, and candles replaced the normally brightly lit place. You could see blankets and pillows ready in the living room for cuddling and hopefully more. And the scent of freshly baked pizza filled the air.

Best meal ever.

“Bucky?” you asked when you didn’t see him. Was he hiding? You didn’t even see Alpine or Soot. Maybe he put them in his room. You almost called for Bucky again before you spotted another piece of paper on the floor a few feet in front of your door and went to pick it up.

Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to smile for no reason. And I found the reason for my smile the day I found you. Like when I think of that cute look you get on your face when you put a puzzle together.

You held the sheet close to your chest as you found another in the direction of the kitchen, smiling as you went to retrieve it. This was like a treasure hunt, a puzzle you couldn’t wait to complete. Bucky was the “X” that marked the spot.

If I write your name in the sand, it will wash away. If I write it in the clouds, it will blow away. So I wrote it in my heart where it will always stay in my care. Just like I promised your parents.

I’m going to be a blubbering mess if he keeps this up.

“Wise men say.”

You walked into the kitchen as “I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You” filled the room, where Bucky was waiting for you. The song you danced to before you became a couple, one that would forever hold a special place in your heart. And it was as if all the oxygen was sucked from the room as you took in the sight of your boyfriend. Instead of sweatpants or jeans, he wore slacks and a button up shirt. The blue matched your dress. That’s how in sync the two of you were.

He even styled his hair for me.

"Hey, Smartie," he said, his voice gentle as he smiled and nodded to the ground in front of him where another piece of paper lay waiting. “You look beautiful.”

"Thank you, Stud," you smiled, sniffling as you bent down to pick it up. "These messages are beautiful, but are you trying to make me cry? Because if so, well done and it's a good thing I didn't overdo it on the makeup. I'd be a mess."

He laughed, the sound making butterflies flutter in your stomach. "Only if they're tears of joy or pleasure. And you don't need to wear any makeup because you're beautiful," he replied, heat rushing through your body before you read the message.

Love is two people dancing in the kitchen. May I have this dance?

You lifted your gaze to find Bucky holding out his hand. “I’d love to,” you said, setting the pieces of paper on the counter before you joined him. There was no way you would refuse, easily taking his hand for him to pull you into his arms. It was almost overwhelming the way he looked at you, like you were the only person in the world who mattered. If you ever needed to know what love looked like, you only had to gaze into Bucky's eyes.

Am I worthy of such devotion?

"You really are good on your feet,” you said as he began to lead you in a dance.

"I'm even better off my feet," he winked, making you laugh before he spun you away from him, only to pull you back. "That was cheesier than the pizza waiting for us, wasn't it?"

“So cheesy. You had to ruin the moment,” you teased, giving him a coy smile. “So, what’s the special occasion for all this?”

You had a feeling why and wanted your instinct to be correct, but didn’t want to get your hopes up. Family wise, they were ready for you to take the next step. Your parents adored the hell out of Bucky. Becca welcomed you like a sister. Your friends, of course, were also supportive and ready for you to tie the knot.

“Do I need a reason to spoil my girl with an extra romantic pizza and movie night? I’m even letting you pick the movie, even though you chose last time.”

“How generous of you. And no, you don’t need a reason to spoil me,” you said. Even if he didn’t have something specific planned, he made you feel special just by calling you his girl. You knew, no matter how many years passed, the two of you would continue to find ways to make each other feel loved and cared for.

“Do you remember the day we met?” he asked, smiling as if the memory was playing in his mind. “I warned you that Alpine chased off the last person who came over to look at the place. I was worried for a second she'd try the same thing with you.”

“You did warn me,” you giggled. “And I just crouched down and stuck my hand out toward her.”

“She loved you from the start,” he said, pulling you closer as he brushed his mouth against your ear, the gentle tickle of his scruff making your eyes slip shut. “I think I loved you, too.”

Bucky and his perfect voice and perfect words and I'm about to cry all over again.

“You think you loved me from the moment you met me?” You asked, sniffling as he pulled back and nodded. “Because I think I loved you, too. Which sounds crazy, but we're both a little crazy in the best ways.”

We're a couple of dorks who found a way to fit together.

“We are a little crazy. And who would Stud be without his Smartie?" He asked, handing you a sheet that he seemed to pull out of thin air. “One more piece.”

My love for you is like a circle: It has no beginning and no end. And it would be an honor for you to wear my family ring.

Bucky dropped down to one knee and grasped your left hand as he took a box from his pocket. You couldn’t slow the beating of your heart as he looked up at you with loving eyes. “When I tried to think of the perfect proposal, I wanted it to be the kind you deserved. And I couldn’t get our apartment out of my head. This is where we met. The place where you became my roommate. And we made it a home together. You even fell in love with me. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I’m thankful every single day that you allowed me to love you, too.”

Your breath hitched when he opened the box. Even expecting it, your soul was ready to leave your body. “Bucky,” you whispered, a sob bursting from your throat when he tenderly smiled.

“My mom told me to give this to the person who stole my heart. You gave me the world when you gave me yours. And I promised your dad I'd always take care of you and love you the way you deserve. We’re made for each other and I don’t want to live a single day without you by my side.”

You could only cry when he removed the ring from the box. For him to think you were worthy of wearing something so significant and special to his family was a precious gift. One you would never let him question or regret. “I don’t want to either.”

“You're my missing piece. My forever. My Smartie,” he said, clearing his throat when his voice cracked. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you cried, your hand shaking a little as he slipped the ring on your finger. It fit perfectly, like it was made for you. Like you and Bucky were made for each other.

My missing piece. My forever. My Stud.

Bucky stood and leaned in, his breath ghosting over your lips. You eliminated any distance between you by pressing your mouth to his. You clung to him, your mouth soft against his as he brought a thumb up to wipe away your tears. You drew back, your heart fluttering in your chest as he brought his lips to your damp cheek.

“I love you so much,” he breathed against your skin.

“I love you, too, Bucky,” you whispered, bringing your mouth back to his. “I love you, too.”

You never could’ve imagined someone like Bucky in your wildest dreams. He was the reason you smiled, sometimes for no reason at all. You’d write his name on your heart and forever keep it there. You would dance with him in the kitchen or wherever he asked you to. Your love for him, like his love for you, was an unbreakable circle.

And you couldn’t wait to be his wife.

Yay! He proposed! Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[orikiys]

🔖 、FAREWELL TO MEMORIES

ᘛ 𓏧     ࣪    𖠵 성훈 ☓ gn!reader. ꔪ ﹏ ᘒ angst implied exes warning nostalgia lots of angst mentions of kissing & 1.3k+ words

The apartment was a picture of chaos with half-packed boxes and disheveled belongings strewn all over the place.

The undeniably strong whiff of change lingered in the atmosphere, dense and overwhelming, and Sunghoon struggled to breathe in it. He stood amidst the scene of chaos, with a defeated expression etched upon his usually composed countenance. The bedroom was nearly empty except for the entirely packed cardboard boxes, ready to be lifted and sent away.

If Sunghoon were to lean in any closer to the labelings on the box, he would find himself staring back at the day it was introduced into his life. He could still hear the chatter from downstairs, could hear Jake’s laughter and Jungwon’s grumbling on yet another unknown topic. One that Sunghoon was not too keen to work out. Especially not today. Jake and Jungwon insisted on being there to help Sunghoon with the boxes but from the noises, that was the last thing they were currently doing.

Just over 20 minutes ago, Sunghoon had to intervene to separate the two of them because Jungwon proclaimed to have had ‘accidentally’ taped Jake’s hair while attempting to tape one of the boxes. In response, Jake had again, totally by ‘accident’ stepped on Jungwon’s toes.

He let his gaze linger longer onto the bedroom and sighed heavily. Sunghoon wasn’t nearly sure what to think of the sight that beheld in front of his eyes. His eyes raked upon one particular box for what seemed like hours yesterday. See, Sunghoon would usually like to call himself calm and collected, someone who is in good control of his own emotions. But he had no control over them the moment his eyes peeped into what the box held.

His fingers traced the white canvas that he took out from the box more gently than he expected. His shaky hands travelled over to the two handprints overlapping in the centre and just like a button, his eyes blurred out of focus as a memory hit him.

It was supposed to be yet another lazy Saturday afternoon, the kind where all you wanted to do was just be on your phone and procrastinate. But you seemed to have different ideas when you walked into the living room with a cheeky smile plastered on your face as you shoved a blank canvas into Sunghoon’s chest followed by two paint colours.

You’d insisted firmly until Sunghoon had no other choice but to give in to your demands. The following minutes passed by a blur when Sunghoon felt the wet semi-liquid swipe across his cheek followed by the sound of a giggle. And so, the paint war began leaving the two of you covered in sticky paint. At least the canvas was not messy.

And then he was met with an aching realisation that no matter how many more canvases he painted, none of them would hold the same beauty, the same meaning and the same art of longing as this one did. All because there wasn’t you right by his side anymore.

A sad smile tugged at the corner of Sunghoon’s lips as he carefully placed the canvas back into the box after wrapping it with a piece of plastic. His hands dug further into that box, despite the drop in his chest after looking at the canvas for mere minutes.

He then reached for a black journal with the title,“But I love you so much more than just to the moon & back”, a choked sound left his throat, something between a sob and chuckle as if he could almost imagine you saying the cheesiest stuff to him on a daily basis.

You had given him the journal after around a year into your relationship, your fingers intertwined with his as the two of you would lay in bed hours long and just flip through each page as if trying to relive another memory. As if that journal could restore the lost time. But of course, it didn’t.

Sunghoon used to see videos of people gifting journals of every single thing to their loved ones and he used to find them a waste of time. That is until you surprised him with one. He didn’t know what to expect when he first looked into the journal, but the last thing he expected was to cry while hugging you. The journal was the most beautiful thing he ever laid his eyes upon.

Each page was titled differently, from your first kiss to your first-ever make up after the argument. The in-between pages were filled with polaroids of the two of you. He didn’t know how to thank you then because words wouldn’t suffice of the gifts you’ve given him so all he did was love you, maybe a little too much that it hurt even more to let go of that very love.

He also remembered his first kiss with you— very well. He couldn’t ever forget the day. During the kiss, he swore that he could taste the stars in the heavens, and the Earth beneath their feet shivered with the sheet power of pouring out feelings.

That was what it felt like to kiss you. To be able to be called yours.

He remembered when you once said to him, “No matter what happens, we’ll aways stick by each other’s side. Promise?” And he did. He did promise— pinky promise, with a silly smile on his face because he had that much confidence in him to know that the two of you would always be together.

Sunghoon from now would have scolded Sunghoon from then so much for taking every little promise so less of value. But lessons were learnt, tears were shed, sweet whispers turned into yells and hearts were broken too, more than one.

Letting out a deep breath, Sunghoon carefully placed the journal back into the box and wiped his beginning-to-form-tears.

Before he could proceed to dig his hands for anything else, he heard the footsteps stomp their way into the bedroom and stop right beside him.

“It’s time to go come on,” Sunghoon raised his head curiously at the softness of Jake’s tone. Jake stood in front of the bedroom but not quitting entering it. One of his hands was busy with the phone while the other just held a small carry bag.

“Yeah, give me one minute,” Sunghoon mumbled back, quickly moving to gather his own stuff and throwing his backpack over his shoulder. He followed Jake out of the house and watched as a taxi pulled up.

The memories flood back as the car inches forward down the driveway, taking the three of them further and further away from the home he grew up in. Sunghoon looked around at the familiar neighbourhood for what seemed like the last time and he could feel a pang in his chest.

As they pull out of the driveway, Sunghoon can't help but be overcome by nostalgia. He takes one last look at the house, feeling like part of it is being ripped away from him. The memories come flooding back, vivid and real, leaving him feeling disconnected from reality for a moment. He closes his eyes, trying to hold on to the feeling, but it slips away, leaving him with only the comfort of the memories.

“I can’t believe I would ever see the daylight and Sunghoon crying together!” Jungwon exclaimed as he looked at Sunghoon from the passenger seat. The said guy lets out a surprised laugh at that and shakes his head in denial, “I’m not crying.”

“Of course you aren’t,” Jake joins in on the Sunghoon teasing club making him huff.

“But hey, you’ll at least have us, yeah?” Jake reassures with a smile as he pats Sunghoon on the shoulder.

Right, that’s true. He’ll always have them to fill in the holes in his heart.

[r0semaryt3a]

Hiiii, could I please ask for how you think the Phantom Troupe would act to being hugged / held by their S/O for the first time? Thanks 🥰

WOAH I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE-

It’s been done for like months now I just entirely forgot to post it I’m so sorry Anon.

-

I’m here for the fluffy ideas (I will warn, I feel like these are a tad Ooc as this is mainly based on my own personal headcannons woven into snippets of what we see in HxH) it’s nice to write them!! I’m gonna admit I haven’t written anything in a dang hot minute so this was: interesting to proofread.

Characters: Chrollo, Feitan, Pakunoda, Shalnark (I know that’s not a lot compared to my other 2 but I was flagging so hard for ideas)

Chrollo

Despite his occasional interest in domestic life and the comforts that came with it, Chrollo never pushed for physical contact.

You’d sat down together before, reading under candlelight, but had never really been lovey dovey. It wasn’t a prevalent concept within the Troupe.

Which is why, when you’re sat beside each other -both enthralled in your own separate texts- a slight jolt races through him as your palm meets the top of his hands (your thumb absentmindedly tracing circles). It was nothing major: nothing that was noteworthy. his eyes barely left the page before him, but, it was nice.

However, when your book settles on the floor and your arms wrap around him. Well, that he can’t not notice. At first the scene is quite awkward, or to him, it’s not like he’s never been hugged before: more the lack of preparation. Chrollo’s shoulders were raised and his hands seemed to struggle to find their place. It’s not like you’d particularly notice this, the small fumble is a fleeting moment.

Once the initial shock had settled though, the two of you lay comfortably together. His head resting agaisnt yours and yours resting agaisnt his shoulder.

Let me tell you, though he may not have shown it, his heart skipped a couple beats. Having you agaisnt him, arms laying around his waist, it was a slice of domestic bliss he truly savoured. The life his city had given him was a life he did cherish, but the spark of normalcy you provided was always a treat. (You’d later find out: this would be a regular occurance anytime you read together; any attempts to protest against the idea would be immediately shot down.)

Feitan

Feitan isn’t big on touch. Never has been.

He prefers all his limbs free to move, he’s an agile person who heavily values his own self autonomy and being able to react in a matter of milliseconds. Nothing more than simple handholding (for no more than a specified 3 minutes 24 seconds) has passed between you two.

So, when you practically jump at him with open arms: he seizes up.

Seriously, you almost gave him a heart attack.

“Off.” “Off now.” Is all that would be said as he tries to pry you off from whoever you’d latched on. Safe to say: the first time you give him a hug is certainly an interesting event.

Don’t get me wrong, you don’t miss the way his eyes dart towards you; and how almost immediately his body eases once the initial shock had faded. Nor do you miss the way: he does indeed reciprocate the act.

A mixture of happiness and annoyance fill him in equal measure. On one hand: the sudden contact had dusted his skin a slightly reddish hue, for all his protests, Feitan’s well aware it’s a show of comfort and given your relationship: it’s not an action he particularly hates. On the other hand? No.

This moment does however, spark the slow build up to your first “proper” hug (and the many more things that would follow)

For now though? It’s best you don’t try that again. For a while.

A long while.

Shalnark

Surprisingly tense.

You’d think a member so seemingly well composed would be better equipped to hug his partner. But, no!

It takes about a minute for him to actually reciprocate the hug, a series of awkward pats meeting your back before he (not at all subtly) peels you off of him.

It’s almost like the action completely resets him, as in a matter of seconds he’s laughing and pulling you in for another hug. The scene is…sweet enough. Though, the action is swift with the two of you parting (again) and Shalnark instead slipping his hand over yours: fingers intertwining as he began to jump from topic to topic.

Physical touch (especially that of unprompted physical touch) is an odd spot for Shalnark. Sometimes, he loves it! A goofy grin is sure to paint his face as he reciprocates the action. Sometimes, it seems like a completely foreign subject to him.

Pakunoda

This woman adores you.

Completely and utterly.

The second your arms wrap around her: she is beaming and quick to reciprocate the action.

Arguably the most openly emotional. It may just be a hug but it makes her heart flutter! Her arms come to rest upon shoulders as she pulls you in close, the act a rather jovial scene. A simple smile is painted upon her face the whole time, it’s honestly quite surprising that such an act could light her up like a child on Christmas.

Any surprise your hug may have sparked is almost immediately washed away the second she realises what’s happening.

As with any of the members: her lightbulb moment is slow. None of them are particularly touchy individuals after-all. However, Paku is certainly the quickest in her return of your hug.

After the moment you’ll find her fingers laced between yours more often than not..

—

I feel like there’s more I could do with this idea but I’m entirely sure how to lay it out in the scenario/headcannon based format these are usually in, so, who knows! If someone wants a oneshot of the idea with a specific troupe member I’ll be happy to deliver-

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Kinktober Day 22: Tentacles + Overstimulation

Pairings: Ran x male reader

Warnings: Male!reader, Eldritch god!reader, dom/top!reader, sub/bottom!Ran, tentacle fucking, overstimulation, sorcerer AU, college AU

Prompt List by: sakuyaserenitykira 🧡

Author's Note: This takes place in the same AU as the one from the day 6 prompt with Inui. Though the reader is a different supernatural being and this is set 100s of years later. The prologue is pretty plot-heavy, and the whole thing is much longer than I intended for it to be. But I think it's worth it <3

Ran Haitani's boredom has landed him in some rather unfortunate situations before, including a couple trips to the hospital. Never in a million years did he predict that he'd end up in this particular situation though...

-

It all started with a leather bound book hidden within the library's basement. Ran had snuck in there a few days ago in a fit of boredom, mainly searching for some hidden porn stash that he assumed would be down there. To his dismay, no such thing existed. What he did find was an old, dusty book with several symbols etched into the leather cover. Cocking a brow in curiosity, he shoved the book under his jacket and left in a hurry, the fantasy of finding some ancient spell book or magical journal ran rampant in his mind, though deep down he knew that those things didn't exist

Later that day, he flipped through the pages in secret, locking himself inside of his dorm room and quickly becoming engrossed with the content between the papers. It was filled with what looked like legitimate spells and...summoning spells? This concept intrigued him more than anything else written in the book. Skimming through the different summoning rituals, he landed on one that piqued his curiosity greatly. “Warning: Careless summoning of The Immortal Unknown (praise be to him) could result in a catastrophe that will destroy humankind as we know it. DO NOT ATTEMPT UNLESS AN EXTREMELY EXPERIENCED SORCERER” was scribbled on a sticky note. The modern dialect was a stark contrast to the ‘Medieval speak’, as Ran called it, that the book was composed of

“Hmph. Like this crap is even real.” Ran scoffed, slamming the book shut and hiding it under his pillow. Promptly flopping onto the soft sheets to settle in for a nap, wrapping a soft blanket around his body and soon descending into the realm of dreams

Ran's eyes fluttered open, panic quickly sinking in as he realized that he was underwater. Unfamiliar ruins and sunken ships were scattered around the ocean floor. In front of him was a cave, unfathomably massive and pitch black inside. He gulped as he stared into the abyss, his eyes burning from the salt water surrounding him as he was unable to look at anything else, his stare transfixed on the cavern before him. As a deep rumble shook the entire ground, the abyss seemed to stare back as a pair of large red orbs lit up, glowing and yet casting no light onto the cave's walls

Every last cell in Ran's body tried to move, to swim away from whatever the hell this thing was. Yet he remained immobile, floating effortlessly in the cold waters as the orbs stared through his puny being. Then, in a split second, a growl echoed and whatever creature had been concealed within the black shadows of the cave suddenly lunged forward. It's form revealed in an instant, but not long enough for Ran to process what he actually saw as he immediately sat up in his bed, gasping for air

Sweat spilled down his forehead while his heart raced uncomfortably, a strange sense of dread filled his mind. This feeling compelled him to walk over to the window that pointed out towards the ocean just across from the college campus, a shiver crawling up his spine as he stared outside, almost in a trance. Ran swallowed dryly, wiping the sweat from his brow and turning to sit on the edge of the bed, switching his bedside lamp on with a shaky hand. He glanced back towards his pillow, suddenly remembering what was hidden beneath the soft cushion. Shaking his head, he stood up and grabbed a snack from his stash, swiftly devouring the food before tossing the wrapper onto his desk. Then hesitantly returning to bed, seeing as his nap lasted several hours into the night already. ‘Might as well go back to sleep.’ He thought to himself, crawling under the covers properly and soon drifting off once more

-

The next few days went by normally, save for a bit of paranoia and spacing out the morning after his strange dream. Hanging out with his younger brother and their friends mostly took his mind off of the dumb book and weird dream, laughing at various things and discussing their plans for the big Halloween party that was only two nights away

Though, the closer that the holiday approached, the more compelled Ran felt to actually perform the strange ritual with the warning note. I mean, it's not like anything will happen, right? Magic and summoning ancient gods or whatever, that's all fake shit. Nothing's gonna happen. At least, that's what Ran told himself. Concocting up a plan on how and where this is going to go down as he dashed back to his dorm room to study the ritual again

He settled on performing the ritual on Halloween night for reasons that he couldn't quite place, though he didn't bother to question why as he was far too caught up in making sure that everything would go perfectly. Already thinking of an excuse as to why he would have to ditch the party and stay in his room all night long. “I'm sick.” Ran said aloud, the idea coming to him naturally. He'd just pretend to be too sick to go out that night. It was perfect!

After hours spent studying the pages of the book and brainstorming every step of his master plan, Ran had everything he needed set up for this night to go off without a hitch. Snatching his phone from the bed, he quickly texted his brother explaining his ‘predicament’

-

Sent at 3:47 - Hey dude

Sent at 3:47 - I feel like shit rn. Think I caught a stomach bug or something

Sent at 3:47 - Gonna have to skip the party 😔

-

Sent at 3:49 - What? Seriously?

Sent at 3:49 - We never miss these things

Sent at 3:50 - U need anything? Everyone will be out ya know

-

Sent at 3:51 - Yeah I know

Sent at 3:51 - I'm so mad

Sent at 3:52 - But I can't even make it out of bed rn

-

Sent at 3:52 - Jeez

-

Sent at 3:53 - Just wanna sleep it off

Sent at 3:53 - Party extra hard for me ok?

Sent at 3:53 - Tell Izana I said sorry for missing his party

Sent at 3:54 - 😭😭😭

-

Sent at 3:54 - Sure thing

Sent at 3:54 - Hope u feel better

-

Sent at 3:55 - Thanks 👍

-

Yes! Perfect! Now that Ran was successfully exempt from having to leave the dorm, he would have plenty of time to prepare this ‘summoning circle’ that the ritual called for. With a few substitutions of course, since the actual spell called for all of these strange herbs and crystals and shit. Ran opted to use whatever supplies were available to him. Which resulted in a crude symbol on the floor created with pens, highlighters, notebooks, snack wrappers, and whatever else he could find. It's not real anyways, who cares what the thing is made of?

As nighttime approached the sounds of heavy footfall could be heard around the building, signaling the departure of nearly every student as they left to either join the most popular Halloween party, or hang out with a couple of close friends and watch horror movies

Taking a deep breath, Ran read the contents one last time, beginning the ritual by laying down in the center of the summoning circle. Next came the chant, which he comically mispronounced seeing as it was written in Latin and he was unfamiliar with the language. After finishing said chant, he tossed the book out of the circle and waited

There was a strange sense of excitement to this. While Ran didn't really believe in magic or demons or any of the legends passed around the campus, the prospect of finding an ancient book that could prove all of his doubts wrong was... thrilling. He wanted something to prove him wrong, wanted to have a supernatural experience just for the hell of it. Somewhere deep in his heart, he wanted to believe in all of those things. And as his eyes closed, sighing in boredom, something peered up at the young man laying in the middle of this symbol. It's form slowly rising from the ground in silence....

“And what do we have here?” A velvety voice said, peering at the human with glowing red eyes. Ran immediately jolting awake at the sound of someone else's voice in his closed room. Upon seeing your form, he scrambled to sit up and back away, hitting the side of his bed

“What the hell are you?!” He shouted, fear washing over his features as his eyes scanned your body. Your eye twitched at the rude question, scoffing at him and retorting, “I am The Immortal Unknown, but you, rude creature, may call me Y/n.”

Ran stared at you in disbelief, you were so close to appearing as a normal human...ok maybe not that close. The several large, red tentacles sticking out from behind you did kind of shatter that illusion... As did the glowing red eyes, needle sharp teeth, and strange echoing voice

“Tell me, dear human, for what reason have you summoned me tonight? And what compelled you to create my hallowed circle out of disgusting plastic...? Do you even know who I am?” You sneered, fangs flashing when the light of the candles illuminating the room hit them

“Are we playing 20 questions? What does it matter what your stupid circle is made out of? You showed up anyways.” The sarcastic comment made your blood boil, a scowl quickly gracing your lips as you stepped towards him

“Insolent fool. My domain is situated in the ocean, the same place your kin have decided to dump your filthy garbage.” You began, taking another heavy step forward while your tentacles writhed behind you. “You pollute MY habitat and then dare to mock me by summoning me with that same garbage?! Incompetent cretin. I should rend your weak flesh from your bones right this second.” In an instant several tentacles shot towards Ran, wrapping tightly around his limbs and torso, one of them squeezing his throat as he was lifted into the air before you

“Sh-shit–!! R-relax...'s not like I expected that dumb spell to even work...how was i supposed to know I'd summon a fish?!” Your jaw practically dropped to the floor, eyes widening in disbelief at such a disrespectful display. The tentacles suspending his body tightened painfully, if you hadn't been holding back they surely would have snapped his bones by now

“Your kind used to be much more respectful. I recall a time when your people worshipped me, and rightfully so. Don't tell me this is how you treat your deities these days?” You crossed your arms as you stared down the human, enjoying his pained gasps and struggling

“Maybe if you weren't so arrogant....ow fuck...maybe someone would give a shit about you.” At this point you had heard enough, sending another tentacle towards him, but this time shoving it right down his throat. An action that caused him to immediately gag and writhe around within your grasp, shaking his head while the appendage caused his mouth to stretch around its large circumference. You smirked at the display, tilting your chin up triumphantly

What happened next was quite different from what you anticipated. As the slimy tentacle ungulated within his wet cavern, Ran moaned around it, his eyes rolling back while his tongue moved against the appendage hungrily. You blinked in surprise at the strange display, cocking your head to the side in mild amusement. Quite an interesting turn of events...

“Oh. I see, you're one of those humans.” Ran quirked a brow at your statement, still attempting to deepthroat your tentacle. “I used to have a number of followers like you. They begged for me to grant them the kind of pleasure that only a god could grant them.” You explained, your voice becoming sultry and sending shivers up Ran's spine. “They worshipped me like no other could, allowing me access to every inch of their being. I claimed their bodies as mine, driving them to the brink of insanity with pleasure.” Suddenly, your voice echoed within Ran's mind, simultaneously appearing to come from directly behind him as if you were whispering into his ears. “Then when they finally broke, I claimed their very souls, which they happily gave away to me in exchange for the mind-numbing ecstasy.”

Ran's back arched at your haunting declaration, moaning louder as the tentacle slid in deeper. “I can see it in your eyes, little one. You're scared, but you want that too, don't you?” His lust-filled eyes met yours, batting his pretty lashes at you as if to say ‘yes, I want that’

Chuckling at his desperation darkly, you had the tentacles swiftly remove his clothing, discarding it onto the floor before allowing another tentacle to pleasure him, making it shift from its position around his torso to prodding at his ass. Ran's eyes flew open at the feeling, his body jerking as a reflex while the tentacle oozed a thick substance onto his entrance, rubbing it all around the area and coating itself in it before pushing in. The pain from the initial penetration felt subdued, with only a slight burn from the stretch as the appendage intruded his hole, thrusting itself in and out until it was buried within him

“Hmph. You're doing well so far, human. I must say, I am a bit impressed.” You said, forcing both tentacles to push in far deeper, creating a bulge in Ran's throat from the intrusion. His breathing increased as the slimy limbs began thrusting quickly, ignoring the way he gagged or how tightly his little throat was constricting around them, until they shot thick fluid directly into his stomach

His body spasmed in the air while his insides were flooded with the liquid, already feeling the weight in his stomach from how much was pumped into him. The two tentacles retracted and he coughed immediately once his mouth was free, some of the liquid coming up in the process. “Oh god...aah...” Ran shivered, still a bit hazy from the rough treatment

“Oh sweetheart, you are enjoying this.” You purred, commanding a third tentacle to flick his hard member and earning a jolt from the sudden contact. His cock soon became enveloped within the tentacle's grasp, wrapping around his length several times and stroking him until he was fully erect. The tip of your tentacle slithered upwards until it reached his cock head, squishing and wiggling itself against his tip, which caused Ran to cry out shrilly

This treatment continued for several minutes until you were able to sense his incoming release, promptly stuffing his holes once more. Another loud cry muffled by the appendage sliding down his esophagus while the one buried inside of his ass fucked him roughly, forcing its way in much deeper than before and thickening in girth while it was inside. Within a few more minutes, the thick tentacles came inside of him again, spilling another round of gooey cum in his stomach, so much so that it bulged from the amount of fluid in there

Ran reached his limit soon after, spraying his own cum on his chest and the tentacle currently jacking him off. His hips jerked violently while his orgasm overtook him, moaning all the while. After they finished unloading inside of him, the tentacles retreated once again, leaving him with a sense of emptiness that elicited a whine from him. Except for the one still jerking off his sensitive cock, that one continuously pleasured him even while he wailed from overstimulation

Seeing your prey so fucked out like this had you worked up too, seeing as the large tentacle dick concealed within your pants writhed around wildly. Groaning in annoyance, you pulled the appendage out and stroked yourself, your large human-like hand barely wrapping around the thing. “Mm you have...truly impressed me, human. Haaah...mmph–!!” You moaned in between praises, twisting your wrist while you stroked your alien-looking cock. “Most humans would tap out after the second round, but you...yeess~ You crave something more, hm? Something... bigger? ”

A wave of desire flashed in Ran's eyes, craning his head to look at you while you touched yourself across from him. Soft squelching noises emanating from where your hand met your dick, the tip oozing the equivalent of precum. Ran choked out something akin to begging, his throat incredibly sore from your harsh treatment so far, “Pl-ease...yes...aaahh...”

You'd be lying if you said you didn't want this too, after all it had been hundreds of years since a single follower had summoned you. Much longer since you had been summoned for this. Your cock ached to be buried within a fragile human's tight walls, splitting them open and fucking away their sanity with every thrust. Just the thought of this caused you to involuntarily lick your lips, impossibly sharp teeth peeking through as you did so. Ran stared at you the whole time, turned on by every new detail that he discovered

He gulped when your eyes snapped to his, a dangerous lust hidden behind them as they shined in the dimly lit room. Grabbing his waist with your hands delicately, you lined your cock up with his hole, searching his eyes for any sign of disagreement. Finding none, you plunged inside, stretching his tight hole farther than any human had been stretched before. Ran's hands balled into fists as he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, the simultaneous sensations of your monster dick prying him open and the slimy tentacle working his cock had him reeling from pleasure. His head fell back, hanging limply while you fucked him open, until your hand grabbed the back of it and lifted him back up, forcing him to look at your expressions as you railed his slim body

“So tight...yet you're still able to take all of my cock...good boy~ ” The growl caused Ran to tremble, feeling impossibly submissive as the night went on. With one sharp thrust, you managed to bury yourself to the hilt, moaning shamelessly as he clenched around you. Your long tongue lolled out, drool dripping from the end as you fucked Ran's ass deeply. Rolling your hips into him and brushing against his prostate, causing him to whine and push his head against your hand harder

“Dear human, you never had the chance to tell me your name. Won't you tell me now?” You asked sweetly, ravaging his hole the entire time. His body greedily accepting the whole thing

“It's Ran...H-Haitani...ah! Aaahh fuck...” Ran exclaimed when your hips snapped into him suddenly, panting heavily from the way your dick glided in and out of his hole. The name ringing in your ears for a moment while you contemplated it

“Ran...how lovely. You are aware that there's no going back after tonight, yes Ran?” You explained, leaning closer to his sweet face. “Even if you refuse to make a pact with me, to become my worshipper, the thought of submitting to me will never leave your mind. It will plague every second of your pathetic life.” A low growl rumbled within your chest, teasing the human cruelly. Though you weren't actually lying, he didn't know that, all he knew was that he needed your cock to stay inside of him and fill him up until he stopped thinking

Letting his head go, you slid that same hand down to his hips, thrusting deeper due to the better leverage. His moans filled the small room while you railed him eagerly, releasing your tentacles' grip on his legs so that he could wrap them around your torso. Which he did weakly, most of the strength in his legs had left him after being fucked multiple times. “Human... I'm very close...but–” You paused, hips stilling inside of his wet hole as he whined. “I want you. Too much time has passed since I had any loyal followers to worship me, so I want you to be mine~”

Ran stared at you quizzically, suddenly nervous at the idea. Yet something inside of him screamed at him to agree, craving you from somewhere deep down within his soul. “Make a pact with me. Give yourself over to me and I will give you everything you have ever wanted, little one. How about it?” Laying your hand on his stomach, you gazed at him expectantly as you awaited an answer. He tossed the question around in his mind for a moment, but just as the gravity of the question settled in you began thrusting again. Your thick cock erased any rational thought, replacing it with an unfathomable sense of desire

As you slammed into his ass, Ran gasped out his answer, “Ah! Yes...yes yes yesyesyesyes—!! I'll do whatever you want...j-just don't stop—!! ” He shouted, rolling his hips against yours in an attempt to take you deeper. His own release inching closer while you fucked him brainless

“Very good...” You purred, creating a seal on his skin. The same symbol that was lazily recreated on Ran's floor, a mark signaling to any other creatures that the item marked by this seal belonged to you. The mark burned into his skin painfully, a glowing blue inky substance etched into his flesh that forever bound the human to you

“Darling, mmm~ Cum for me. ” You growled, your own orgasm hitting you as your body stiffened, releasing an impossible amount of cum within his warm walls. Ran came just after, shooting his cum all over your hand and the seal that you created on his delicate flesh. The milky fluid acts somewhat as a stamp, effectively sealing the contract created between you and your new follower

Ran soon went limp, panting heavily while your cock finished unloading inside of him. You stayed like this for a minute, rubbing at the new seal with your thumb. All of his nerves felt raw around the area, each little touch and wisp of air that brushed against it caused him to whine and tremble. You slowly and carefully pulled out of him, being as gentle as you really could with the fragile thing. He whimpered when you had fully unsheathed yourself, already missing the stretch of your fat length

Scooping the slender human up in your arms and releasing your tentacles' grip on him, you carried him to his bed. Allowing him to finally rest after nearly breaking him, though he might have enjoyed that too, now that you think about it... nevertheless, you tucked the little thing under the covers and brushed your knuckles against his cheek, whispering a “See you soon, little one.” into his ears before returning to your domain

Tagging: @steadybreadbluebird @6kabuki

[meimi-haneoka]

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Special Chapter: Comments and Analysis

WELCOME BACK, CCS FAAAAAAAAAAAANSSS!!!!!

Oh my god 3 months went already by from that December 1st and chapter 80, didn't they?? Feels like yesterday 🙈But we're finally here, finally ready for the release of the definitive, last SPECIAL CHAPTER of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!!!! After this, no more CCS for at least a while!!

Why do you see me so euphoric?? WELL, THERE IS MORE THAN ONE VERY GOOD REASON 😂 But let's not jump the gun and let's introduce this post properly: this time around, I won't be posting pictures to "illustrate" the analysis/commentary, because this special chapter was treated differently from the other ones. It didn't get, in fact, a free release on CLAMP's Youtube channel, in any language, and wasn't even uploaded for digital purchase on Comic Days like all the rest of the chapters. The only way to obtain it was via the April issue of Nakayoshi, either with the physical or digital version. Since it is clear to me their intention to keep this gem of a special chapter away from the internet jungle, and since lately I used only the screenshots from Youtube to illustrate my analysis, this time around I won't be posting anything (aside from the color page, which was released by the official account themselves).

AND! I won't be mixing analysis and summary, because I have already conveniently prepared some screenshots with a detailed summary of the chapter for the people who were curious to know, but didn't get to see the chapter yet or did see it but couldn't read Japanese. I have already posted these screenshots on my Twitter account, and I'll put them here too under the cut (please don't repost them around or in other social media), so you can immediately get a broad view on the content of the chapter (I don't have to point out translation mistakes, haha 😅), and then, afterwards, I'll write my commentary. And there is SO MUCH to say!!

But before starting, we can't break the tradition right at the LAST ROUND of our chapter commentaries, right?? So off we go, with the GIF OF THE MONTH!!

Yes, I think this is the GIF that can represent this chapter the most. 😂

The Color Page

This special chapter is composed of 33 pages, and of course I can't avoid starting my commentary precisely from the color page!!

I admit it, I hoped for a color spread with the four main characters of Clear Card (hence, including Kaito and Akiho too), but since the other two appeared with their own color page just in chapter 79, we'll gladly take this single color page with SyaoSaku too!! ❤️ The JP text reads "We've been together till now, and we will always be! Featuring a long-awaited special chapter!!" Syaosaku look absolutely adorable....and so, so happy!! Looking at us, from a wreath made of cherry blossoms, of course dressed in their image colors pink and green, in a "pair look"...I think their shiny smiles conquered the hearts of the entire fandom (saw many comments about it) and it is certainly a perfect introduction to a chapter that is, indeed, completely made of this happy, leisurely, warm atmosphere. I feel like it tastes even better, after all the anxiety they made us go through, right? I'm pretty sure that was CLAMP's goal all along, giving us this little reward after all the hard situations they've put their characters through. This color page looks like Sakura and Syaoran are saying "goodbye" to us, holding their hands in a lover's hold, but seeing them so cute and happy definitely soothes the sad feeling 🥲 Until we meet again...hopefully!

Letters From Around The World

But it's when the chapter starts that we get our first surprise: the time skip is of one entire year!!! We left our little heroes at the end of the first year of Tomoeda Middle school, ready to go in spring break and then start the second year...here, Sakura says she's in her spring break of the next year, ready to become a 9th grader!!! I almost couldn't believe they actually went that far, I knew from CLAMP's podcast that there was a timeskip, but I expected just some months! Although....I have to say the characters don't look that different, Mokona said she made them a tiny bit older and she kept true to that, because it's barely visible! 🤭 But if you compare them with how they looked at the middle of the story, of course the difference is visible.

I was so happy to see that the chapter started right away with a letter from Akiho: a letter or a videocall was definitely among the type of content I wanted to see in this chapter, because of course I still was quite preoccupied about the difficult journey Akiho and Kaito embarked on, so I wanted to see how they were faring. The amount of letters Sakura accumulated over the span of this year tells me that they moved around quite a lot, and she had always something to share with her "long-distance sister" 🤭 Kero praising Akiho's skills and even feeling some sort of "reverence" for her insane talent to find all the crazy and rare books was so funny and nice!! 😂Sakura is adorable, feeling all proud about the talent of her "sister" 🤭 Loved that they actually mentioned the place where Akiho and Kaito are currently at!! (cause they didn't reveal where they'd go first, in chapter 80, and I guess we'll never know). I appreciated SO SO much that they let us see that Akiho didn't drop, but actually continued to practice her sewing skills like she was doing before everything went down the drain with the Alice in Clockland play: moreover, finding out later that this skill is also helping her greatly with the true ambition of her life made me incredibly satisfied. How cute of her to send outfits for Kero and Suppy, even from far away??

I was quite surprised to find out that Akiho sends all the rare books to Eriol, and then laughed my as* off at Kero saying he's selling them off (the way Kero phrases it in JP makes it look a QUITE shady activity 😂). This shows there's a continued collaboration between the "group" in England and YunaAki, and it's very nice. They're not only "taking" support from Eriol, Akiho also does return the favor, providing Eriol with the books he needs.

And then....got really emotional to know that Kaito wrote a letter to Sakura, back when they left one year ago 🥲 I DID feel like some kind of acknowledgement or apology from Kaito to Sakura was missing from chapter 80 (but honestly, with everything they had to explain, where they could fit that?) and so this little mention completely fixed that sense of "he made a mess and barely managed to apologize to Akiho before leaving". Kaito isn't an ass*ole so of course he would've done something like that, and a letter seems perfect for an introvert boy of few words like him. I imagine the letter wasn't really long either. The little moon on the sealing wax...❤️The fact that Sakura is storing that single letter together with Akiho's letters in a specific box makes me almost cry. She cares for those two so, so much! 😭 Sakura wishes to receive more letters from Kaito and I really hope he will open up to her along the way, because he could benefit ENORMOUSLY from her advices and perspective! Also THANK YOU CLAMP for giving us a little "still" of those two next to eachother from the moment when they were leaving Tomoeda, with the suitcases and all 🥲that last faraway shot of all four of them together in chapter 80 was so great, but I wanted to see them like this too!

The SyaoSaku Date

Aaaaaand then we get to the long awaited, craved, coveted SYAOSAKU DATE!!! 🤣 I can't count how many people I've seen wishing for this....to be honest I was going to be ok with any kind of sweet moment between the two, but gotta admit that a carefree afternoon watching a stage play and then taking refreshment at a café gives this sense of normal, complete fun that was missing a bit for them. They are dressed in a very fancy way (loved that Sakura isn't wearing her usual long one-pieces but something different, with puff shorts! A sign of her growing up?) and even though they're not exactly wearing a "pair look" (too corny, maybe?), they are well matching eachother's outfits. And of course we find out that Tomoyo made Sakura's cute outfit and even the decorations on Syaoran's collar! The fact she was the one asking Syaoran to wear them at the date is kinda funny, like some sort of guidance into looking like a couple, thanks to the matching decorations! Tomoyo really takes care of everything....yes....everything. 🥲 The mention of Sakura's wedding dress of course made me go "OH MY GOD" and made me realize that if Tomoyo is already mentioning that.......we aren't *that* far away from that day (I always imagined SyaoSaku marrying early, since they're soulmates and got together so young!! 😆). Truly an emotional, sweet moment that was reinforced by Tomoyo's tender expression in the flashback. Her resolution to devote herself to learn to design even normal everyday outfits, or date outfits, everything that could accompany her dear Sakura everyday, reminded me that Tomoyo found her very own way to be with Sakura, and she's perfectly content with that. Tomoyo's happiness is seeing Sakura happy, and she will do anything to achieve that. ✨

Syaoran and Kaito's Friendship

And then my blushy blushy Sakura changes topic and suddenly throws me on the floor in a fit of laughter, because seeing Syaoran's confused look while he was trying to make sense of the pictures Kaito sent him on his phone WAS HONESTLY PRICELESS. 😆 My god, how long have I wished to see them like this? Moving their timid steps into a friendship (since their girlfriends are like sisters and Sakura literally saved Kaito's derriere), being their awkward dorky selves...they surprisingly get along so well and Syaoran doesn't seem to hold resentment towards him, which is GREAT for me!! He's learning from Sakura to just let go of hard feelings, when you've found out the person who acted in an oppositive way was just in a very desperate situation and had actually no ill intentions. And that makes me incredibly happy. Kaito needs all the support he can get, to make the right decisions in his life, and I can totally see him finding a particular connection with Syaoran, due to how they're both moon boys, who would give their life for the person they love. I think precisely for this, precisely because Syaoran can understand to a degree Kaito's situation and behavior, he wouldn't feel judged and would feel more free to establish a connection with him. I was k*lled with laughter and endearment when I saw that Syaoran felt confused, but still tried to understand Kaito's peculiar way of communicating with him 😂 And guess what? I think he doesn't realize it, but he's totally starting to get it! 😂The way our wolfie boy snaps that picture IMMEDIATELY as the cat passes by, and how he only framed the ear, really shows how in the end he's speaking "the same language" as Kaito 😂 Seeing Sakura so excitedly think to herself that the two became such good friends made me scream "SAME SAKURA-CHAN, SAME!!!" 😂 All in all, seeing these two having such a relaxed, comfortable date talking about their friends and stuff that happened lately made me completely feel that one year that elapsed, and now they act totally like a couple that's been dating for quite some time. 😊 Ooooh thank you sensei, really. Thank you so much for this scene. 🙏

The Moon Is Really Beautiful, Right?

BUT! The real reason why CLAMP will always have my heart and my gratitude is hidden in the next scene. 😂

Oh my god, the screams I've belted out when I saw them. And when I've read THAT. But let's go in order, let's go in order and not jump the gun! We're in Germany, Akiho and Kaito now seem to be living in an apartment in a nice building! They're still talking in keigo, and still calling eachother "Akiho-san" and "Kaito-san". 😊

Kaito SMILES genuinely at the picture Syaoran sent him!! And answers, to an observant Akiho, that he's having fun!! 😭HIM! The one who couldn't understand what was fun in interacting with others!!! He looks honestly so radiant and happy, a sign that his mental recovery is going strong. And that he's slowly expanding his "trusted people" network. 🥲🙏Also, he looks younger than ever!!! 😂

It made me INCREDIBLY HAPPY to see that Akiho didn't drop the "hobby" she had started in chapter 26 (ages ago!!), remember this scene?

I remember how much I loved to know she had started learning how to do this, because together with my friends, at the time, we all thought this could easily become her aspiration in life......and guess what?? CLAMP confirmed she wants to take on a job revolving around books and book repairing!! This is all canon!! T___T oh my happy tears.... There's a sense of pride in seeing that this journey for Akiho isn't only revolving around finding the cure for Kaito's shortened lifespan (which hurt his body terribly) and restarting his "stopped time", or finding Momo and the Alice in Clockland book, but she's also got the mental resolution to do something for herself, for what she wants to do in life, something that is completely disconnected from Kaito. Again, I cannot reiterate enough how this girl doesn't have an unhealthy codependent relationship with Kaito, and she's completely capable of thinking about her own future, aspirations and wishes. She wants him with her, and she could never live happily without him, but the love of her life isn't the only thing that exists for her. It is incredibly satisfying to see her working hard for her own future, where she'll be able to contribute (especially financially) to their livelihood. I can see Kaito helping her and assisting her with that. The other day I was dreaming away with my friends about Kaito and Akiho managing a "book cafè" together somewhere, how impossibly sweet that would be?

Seeing this volitive, ambitious, strong-willed Akiho once again filled my heart immensely. And I wasn't the only one, apparently.....

Oh god, you have no idea of the SHRIEKS I belted out when I saw Kaito saying "the moon is really beautiful, right?" in full daylight. Like. It is absolutely unmistakable at this point what kind of love he feels for her, and while I always knew, I'm sure the character took his own sweet time and personal introspection to reach that conclusion. If you remember, I've always said it and reiterated it at the end of chapter 80: Kaito won't understand things overnight, it will take a long time. And one year, at that age, is enough of a long time to come to terms with one's feelings and understanding what exactly they mean. They lived all that time together as two "equals", no more butler/boss bullsh*t, so they had even more opportunities to see eachother's true colors. And Kaito couldn't help but fall even more in love with Akiho, to the point that seeing her working so excitedly for her future made him gently overflow with that feeling....and said that sweet quote of Natsume Soseki that we all know, by now, what it means. I think the mere fact that what made his heart explode was seeing her so independent and strong, is a good sign that Kaito's love for her is the healthy and supportive kind, too. He doesn't love her and feels attracted to her soul because she's a weaker, younger, malleable being that he can dominate (as a toxic relationship would portray), but at the contrary, because she's free and strong and wonderful on her own. The more he sees her shining, the more that feeling grows. Throughout this scene, he looks at her and talks to her in such an intensely sweet way, you can totally see he's smitten with her.

The most popular reply to someone who confesses with "the moon is beautiful" is the equivalent of "I could die for you/I can die happy now", in Japanese. And Kaito had been unconsciously replying that way, with his actions, the whole damn time during the serialization of Clear Card. But since he took it way too literally, things were really heading to tragedy. Nobody wanted him to die for real, and yet, subconsciously, that was the only way he had found to give outlet to an enormous amount of feels that he couldn't express (because it wasn't appropriate, and nobody would ever love him, and he only caused her pain, and he had to let go of Akiho anyway at the end of it).

So considering all of THAT, this "I love you very much" he said now (he added とても, "very", like Akiho did ❤️) in this way, makes me think even more "yes, you finally understood what was the best way to convey it!" and therefore, it represents another character development for our moon boy. 🥲

There's debate over whether he had already understood what Akiho had meant, in chapter 48. I stand firmly by my convinction that, even if he was informed of the Japanese folklore tale around it, he quickly dismissed it as "no, she's meaning it literally for the moon", since he couldn't really believe that anyone would ever take interest in him, and was sure he would've always been alone. Otherwise, if he really understood and believed that Akiho was in love with him, I don't think he could've ever said that "I thought you didn't need me to be happy". It doesn't make sense. But everything that happened at the fake moon, and all her angry tears, and all her resolution to find a way to cure him, made him finally see that she really meant it in that way. ❤️So his own acceptance and introspection could finally start, and....it brought to this. ❤️ If you want to know more about the popular phrase "the moon is beautiful, right?", I invite you to check my first Clear Card Trivia post, focused on the literary and musical references portrayed throughout this story!

And LOL, I couldn't help but noticing several things in how this scene played out: first, he immediately "runs away" blabbering about the breakfast being ready, a very similar way to how he "ran away" in chapter 52 when Akiho could see right through him and was trying to express her support and feelings to him. This is definitely an indication (taking into consideration also how he acted when he was little) that the reason why Kaito walked away back then, slamming the door, had a sprinkle of embarrassment embedded in it, too. Yeah. I mean, look at the face he's making here, just before he notices, puzzled, that his hand is shaking:

He's smiling so tenderly, among the pain he's feeling because of his poor health. He even laughs! He's happy he heard that! But he just couldn't stay hearing any longer, back then. Now, in this scene of the special chapter, he literally throws "the bomb" and runs away without hearing her answer or reaction 😂😂😂this is definitely embarrassment, and I'd like to think there's even a hint of teasing streak that I've always seen between the lines in his personality. It came out particularly with Syaoran and Momo, but Akiho isn't excluded from this dynamic! 😂

And excuse me, but Akiho's reaction literally made me roll on the floor laughing!! 😂The poor girl is probably so used to live abroad, and Japanese folklore isn't probably coming up immediately in her mind anymore, despite it's a phrase SHE used HERSELF back then! 😂Or maybe it's because she didn't really expect it from him, and so she took a moment to connect the dots. Either way, it was extremely funny! And I can't absolutely avoid pointing out how our girl isn't blushing like mad anymore, but just slightly.... I mean. It must have been quite clear to her too, by now, that her feelings were in some kind "reciprocated", be it for what Sakura said back at the fake moon, his decision to go back to her, and his decision to reveal his true name, hence giving her his most vulnerable part of himself... This isn't a shock for her, and she probably waited patiently, patiently, for him to finally say something like this. So maybe, more than embarrassed, she's surprised that the day finally came! 🥲 Goodness. This really puts all my worries to rest, Akiho will truly be happy. And it makes total sense that CLAMP made him say this now, and not at the end of chapter 80. As I said, more time was needed. This entire scene leaves me with a sweet, soft, comfortable feeling, and it's totally how I've always imagined their relationship to be. Also....no more of that "he loves her as a daughter/sister" crap, not canon-wise at least. 😊

One last thing I have to point out about this scene, which curiously reconnects everything together, is that recently CLAMP have announced the themes to which their upcoming exhibition will revolve around: among them, there's LOVE (of course!), and among the decorations surrounding the featured character on the key visual (Sakura, for now, but there's at least another one coming!) there are a couple of birds too. Birds are, in this sense, a symbol of love in CLAMP's language. I couldn't really help but noticing all the birds flying outside the window next to Akiho, the moment Kaito says that "the moon is really beautiful, right?". Basically, CLAMP were trying to scream it all over the place, however they could. 😂

"Momo-san?!"

It was so nice to see Yukito and Kero-chan gossiping about Touya right in his face, with the complete intention to tease him 😂in that sense, Yukito really seems like a sweet and harmless character, but don't be fooled! His teasing power is over 9000!! 😂Touya's killing glare made me crack up! He's so done for, now that both Kero and Yukito can tease him in the open! 😂😂😂

But please, please, let me scream about MOMO!!! Oh my god I would've never accepted a special chapter that didn't feature her!! Aaaaahhh I'm so glad to see that she's fine 🥲 The conversation between her and Sakura made clear to me that she isn't that free to move how I imagined her to be. Certainly, she decides where to go and who the book stays with (and when to leave), but the impartiality imposed on her role doesn't allow her to act freely like she wants, unless she pays a price. And she decided to pay a price, not to see Akiho and Kaito, but to go and thank Sakura herself first. Because, as her "those kids" suggests, she of course still feels some kind of maternal instinct towards them, and as any mother would do, she wants to thank Sakura from the bottom of her heart for having helped and saved those two. Even her body language (the position of her hands) portrays that. And excuse me, but I A B S O L U T E L Y loved how CLAMP clarified once and for all, addressing directly the complaints of their own fandom, that Sakura wasn't forcingly dragged into a matter that wasn't related to her. Everything she did, she decided to do it because she felt it touched her personally. From the moment she became Akiho's friend and came to care for her, everything that happened and everything that she was involved with was related to her too. This wasn't "somebody else's business" anymore. Because Akiho is one of her most beloved friends, no matter how "fast" that happened. Some relationships bloom almost immediately, because the connection is just that strong. And so, this turned into just another expression of "your happiness is my happiness", with Sakura acting according to what her heart suggested. As Kaito is Akiho's most beloved person, Sakura couldn't help but care for him too, because doing so would've made her friend happy, in a wonderful "circulation of love".

Special mention for the scene with pregnant Lilie, oh my god I didn't really expect this either. How long ago I wrote that Tumblr post about cosmos flowers and the origin of Akiho's name? A couple of weeks ago? It's like CLAMP answered my curiosity, with this scene. I still keep my interpretation in my heart, but I also love the logic "it is a flower that keeps the same name in many countries". Of course. "Wherever you'll go, you'll always be your unique self". (And now I want to cry, mama's heart is so big😭) The way Lilie keeps her hands over her womb made me tear up. The ring isn't there anymore, a sign that she probably already gave it to Momo (understandably, since once Akiho would be born, she wouldn't really have much time left). The baby bump isn't that noticeable, probably because she's at the beginning of her pregnancy. Who knows if she kept seeing little Kaito while she was pregnant. 🥲Who knows if in the scene where she's telling him about how wonderful it is to have something you love, especially a person, she was already pregnant with Akiho. 🥲

Momo and Sakura's final words made me understand that Momo cannot go back to Akiho and Kaito till the circumstances and the moment is right. Whether it depends on Akiho's wish, or the right cosmic arrangement, it's surely not in the short term. Especially considering the limited scope of Momo's agency. It cannot come from Momo (unless she pays a huge price), it needs to come from them, strongly enough. I also want to think that, again as an acquired mother figure, Momo wants those two to find their own way, identity and figure out their relationship on their own, without her interference. I'm sure she's keeping an eye on them from faraway, though. 🥲Even though this still feels bittersweet because I wanted to see them reuniting in canon so badly, it gave me lots of hope for the future. Momo is just waiting for the right moment, and she'll be ready to embrace them when the time is right. Maybe, who knows, we'll see that reunion in another series or in a special publication in the future?

The End

And then....the final scene 🥲NOW it is finally clear what Ohkawa meant in that one Twitter Space, when she mentioned that there was a reason why they never featured Sakura's birthday!!! THEY NEEDED TO KEEP THE EXCLUSIVITY FOR THIS!! 😂 I'm so glad they did, really...it's so sweet to see her reaching 14 years old (the "standard age" of many shoujo heroines! 😂) and seeing Syaoran giving her a present, with that strikingly sweet smile full of love...but most importantly....the breathtaking final double spread 🥲🥲🥲🥲 The way she pulls his hand close to her chest, to her heart, while saying that Syaoran will be forever and ever her most important and special person.....really, this chapter is meant to k*ll us all with feels!🥲and I love how CLAMP keep finding ways to portray their physical displays of affection without resorting to the classic, most wanted (but also probably considered not appropriate yet) "kiss". The very final page is a direct parallel of a page from chapter one, where Sakura was going to school alone and looked back down the street to admire the cherry blossoms in full bloom.

Now, she's not alone anymore, but actually hugging the love of her life on her special day! Really, what a wonderful and fulfilling way to give the final touch to this amazing story! 🥲 Her very last line also contributed to this. Sakura leaves us again, 24 years after the first ending, with words of positivity for the future, and love for her important people. This wraps everything up nicely, but it still keeps things quite "open-ended", hopefully in the eventuality to return to this wonderful series in the future. Sakura is growing up, as CLAMP wished, and it might be possible to see her dealing with more "grown-up" situations, magic and non-magic wise. But one thing is for sure, her relationship with her loved ones will always take top priority. ❤️

Well well well, we came to the end of this looooooong commentary for this special chapter too. I can't help but thank once again all of you who followed my posts all these years, and commented with your POVs on the story.

As I've said multiple times, Cardcaptor Sakura gave me so much ever since I was a kid, and this sequel was no exception. This special chapter, in particular, overflowed with things I wanted to see, and I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking so. I once again want to congratulate CLAMP for wrapping everything up nicely, and thank them from the bottom of my heart for these almost 8 years of emotional journey. 🙏

See you around with my other tumblr posts, and let's look forward to the release of volume 16 on April 1st, and hopefully, news about the anime sequel of Clear Card!!

[linkito]

scarian 34 maybe.. but theyre in love..

#34 …to pretend.

Scar’s honestly not sure what Scott is on about with his whole Relationship Ranch thing. He’s not as obtuse as Grian is about it, pretending like their relationship isn’t mangled and strained, like the idea of couple’s therapy is entirely unfounded for the two of them, but— the goats? Really? Even at their worst, he and Grian aren’t stupid enough to get hit by a goat.

Even at their worst, they’re still a team. None of these trust-building activities are of any use to them.

The only reason Scar is going along with it at all is because of Scott. Scott who might know the most about the ins and outs of his and Grian’s complex relationship throughout these life games. But he’s beginning to have his doubts. Scott seems distracted.

Grian seems to have the same idea, because this time he calls Scott out when he pulls out his communicator for about the dozenth time. “Who do you keep talking to?”

Scar instantly dogpiles onto the accusations. “Are we not important enough for your undivided attention, doc?”

“No, you’re very important!” Scott protests, stuffing his communicator away. Scar narrows his eyes in tandem with Grian.

“Maybe he realizes we don't need this after all, G,” Scar says with a shake of his head, eyes flicking upward to watch for Scott’s reaction. As expected, Scott twitches nervously and immediately begins to wave his hands in placating disagreement.

But Grian speaks before Scott can. “Yeah, we’ve passed all your little tests, so what are you on about anyway?” With a disgruntled huff, Grian slots in beside Scar and crosses his arms, looking Scott up and down with the same level of scrutiny. “Scar and I are fine.”

It almost feels true when Grian is leaning into Scar’s space like this, taking his side like they have a common enemy, playing up the charade as much as Scar is to push at someone else’s buttons. On that rare occasion they’re on the same page, things do actually seem fine.

That’s possibly the worst part of it all— the almost fine.

Scott takes a moment to compose himself, now on the defensive as he speaks slowly and calmly. Unfortunately for him, however, he chooses the wrong words:

“But back in the desert—“

Both of their faces sour instantly, for different reasons perhaps, but they can both agree on one thing: that those words do not belong on Scott’s tongue.

Grian is partway through muttering a bitter “that’s none of your business,” when Scar chimes in with a theatrical twirl of his hands and solemn shake of his head, stepping forward so Grian is behind him and doesn’t have to address the unfinished accusation.

“Oh, Scott, come on now,” Scar says with a twinkle in his eye, slipping on the mask of a man not-scorned in order to pry himself from this situation. “That was then and this is now! People change! Relationships change! That isn’t always a bad thing, is it?”

Scott blinks, trying to keep up with Scar’s rapid-fire string of almost nonsense. “Uh.”

“Exactly!” Scar says, as if it were an agreement. He turns to face Grian, but keeps his feet pointed toward Scott, ever the actor, never fully turning his back to his audience. “But we’re perfectly happy, aren’t we now, Grian?”

Scar loops an arm around Grian’s back, tugging him closer and lowering his face so it’s level with his soulmate’s, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

His words pose a challenge, one Grian is intimately familiar. Scar rests his hand just beneath the base of Grian’s wings, where he used to hold onto when they embraced, when he would scoop Grian up into his arms and kiss him senseless while the scorching sun beat down on their necks. There’s that same level of firmness Grian had grown accustomed to paired with the gentle graze of fingers over his cheek from Scar’s other hand— that strong sense of security combined with unparalleled tenderness.

Grian doesn’t even realize he’s parted his lips, leaning forward in dizzying anticipation, acting on instinct alone, leaving all his senseless doubts behind as Scar slowly leans in closer, lips only a breath apart.

Scar’s hand trails over Grian’s cheek, ghosting over his jaw, then settling perfectly in place to hide both their lips from Scott’s prying eyes.

And then Scar smiles, and something about it is askew, something Grian can’t quite place— it’s too crooked, almost self-satisfied, almost—

And just like that, Scar pulls away.

“See?” Scar says, eyes flicking over to Scott, who, according to Grian’s short-circuiting brain, no longer existed at all. “Perfectly happy.”

It takes Grian far too long to realize those words were directed at someone else, or that there was not, in fact, sand at his feet and hot air brushing through his feathers. Scar is still speaking, and none of it is directed at him, because they aren’t alone atop a mountain of sand, in their own private corner of the world. They’re in a new game entirely, one where things are far too similar, yet not the same at all.

One where he definitely didn’t expect Scar to kiss him for real.

One where he definitely wouldn’t have let him.

“Grian,” Scar calls, snapping him out of his dazed state, and Grian hopes to god he doesn’t look too desperate when he glances up at him. “I’m pretty sure the rest of the server is tearing up our base looking for sugar cane.”

“They’re what??”

[morrimorriarts]

The Reason Why You Love Him

An Akaashi Keiji (Haikyuu) x Reader Oneshot

A one-shot of your relationship with Akaashi - and everything that came with it.

This fic includes: Gender Neutral Reader, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Themes, Mild Cursing, Self-starvation,

Word Count: 11k Words

Enjoy!

THE REASON WHY YOU LOVE HIM

Maybe it's the way he smiled.

When Akashi Keiji smiles, it’s in a soft way - his lips turn up, cheeks rising a little. When he smiles, the people around who see him blushes, for who has ever seen a sight so beautiful?

But when Akaashi Keiji smiles, it’s warm. His mouth curls upwards, his eyes turning to crescents as they smile, too. His lips part to show a bit of his teeth, while gentle pinks seem to bloom at his cheeks. Sometimes, he laughs shortly after, a sound deep from his throat, melodious and comforting.

The first time Akaashi Keiji smiled at you, it was the day you first met.

He sat right next to you, neat and composed as the other students came filing in. It's the first day of school and you thank the heavens the person you are seated with looks gorgeous and smart.

You were the first to speak.

"Hello." Your voice is quiet, almost shy, a part of you is afraid he won't reply. His head rose and he turned to look at you. 

He replied, “Hello.”

You fumble with your greetings and introduction, your own name stumbles out of your lips - there is something about him that has made you a little tongue-tied. When he smiles and gives you his name, your brain is quick to repeat it a second, third, fourth, fifth time. “My name is Akaashi Keiji,” He said, “I hope we get along.”

He smiles. It is the first time you feel your heart skip a beat.

“I’m sure we will.” You respond with a smile.

Maybe it’s his kindness, even if it feels a little limited at times.

Akaashi Keiji knows how to give - all within reason, of course.

He’s the type to lend an eraser or a pencil, but only if it’s the extra.

“Akaashi… can I borrow your pencil?” You asked quietly, leaning to his direction. He looks at you for a brief second, before he turns and opens his pencil case. Soon enough, he’s handing you a pencil, 

And when he handed it towards you, your skin buzzed for a second when the two of you touched, even if it was only for a moment. “I’ll return it after class.” You said, he only nods. When you turn away, there’s a thrum beneath your skin and the pencil lended to you feels like gold.

He’s the type to share his book with you, but makes no move to adjust.

So you move your seat closer to his, peering into his open book as you take note of the lesson. Akaashi is kind enough to wait for you to finish taking notes before turning the page, his own hands working quickly to paste translucent sticky notes along the important details. He has an entire pack of it by his side, scribbling more information on the spaces in between.

Akaashi is kind enough to help you study between classes or to help you clear up confusing lessons.

“Factor them, so you can get rid of some of the components.” Akaashi murmurs, writing on your paper to show you. “Like this.” He said softly, patiently. You nod along as he said, “Okay, now you cancel both the (x+1) on the denominator and numerator.” You follow his instructions, calmed by his patience to teach.

“It’ll be easier for you if you memorize the formulas and such. During the quiz, you’ll probably have no time to keep on doing things manually.” He said.

You laugh sheepishly, “I’ll try… you’ll still help me, right?”

“I can help you study.” He said with finality.

The day of the exam, you lean towards him a little, but before you can even ask for his help, his arm has already covered his answers. He raises an eyebrow at you, which makes you turn back to your own paper.

And yet, when you sulk afterwards, he gives you a small carton of banana milk, though he bumps it on your forehead first before he sets it down.

If not, then maybe it’s his voice.

Because when Akaashi Keiji spoke, he spoke smoothly, he did not stutter nor show signs of doubt. It’s one of the reasons why people like him so much.

You look up at him from your seat, watching him stand as he was called on by the teacher. Akaashi opens his book, beautiful eyes finding where the last reader left off, before he starts to speak. His english is a little heavy, yet flows well as he reads the part of the poem assigned to him.

He distracts you enough that you do not realize when the poem has ended and where your daydreaming began.

Akaashi looks at you, blinking before turning away.

If you weren’t called to read the next part, maybe you would’ve paid more attention and saw how he too, stared as you spoke, soft pink rising up his neck.

And if it’s still not that, then maybe it’s because of his presence alone.

Akaashi sits silently to the side, eating a rice ball as he reads a book. All around you, your friends babble on and on about a new cafe that opened just down the street, a few blocks away from your school.

You’re about to say that you want to go to the aquarium instead, when the others started to gush all about the food that they want to try out in the new cafe. “Are you okay with going to the cafe?” They asked you, simultaneously turning their heads towards your direction.

Your throat constricts a little, as if your heart has jumped to your tongue. It takes you a second before you say, “Yeah… sure.”

“Alright, this Saturday, then!” They grinned. 

They leave soon after the bell rings, leaving you fiddling with your hands, budgeting everything in your mind. You sighed, when you turned back to the side, Akaashi was looking at you. “Oh, sorry. Were we too loud?” You asked.

“Why didn’t you tell them?” He asked.

Your eyebrows furrow, “Tell them what?”

“That you didn’t want to go to the cafe.” He said simply. 

You tense up under his gaze so much that “What?” Is the only thing that you can utter.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear.” He smiled.

You shake your head, “No, no- but… how did you know?”

Akaashi Keiji’s reply is simple, “Your tone was different. When you really agree to something, you sound much happier than that.” When you don’t reply and only stare back, Akaashi blinks before taking it as a sign that the conversation is over. He turns back to his book, finishing his rice ball as he flipped to another page.

A part of you wants to end it at that, but the other, more impulsive part is quick to ask - “Then, would you like to go to the aquarium with me?”

Akaashi stared for a moment, before he smiled and said, “Sure.”

That was what led to this, to walking under glass-kept waters, where above you both, schools of fish swimming away from sharks, the mutterings of other visitors reaching your ears as they talked. 

You try to remember all the fish facts you read up online - maybe it will impress him, maybe it will make him talk more. You go on and on and on. Akaashi only nods along. There is a pang in your heart and you feel your hands tremble.

You try again, you start to ask questions.

“What’s your favorite fish?” You asked, by now, you’ve forgotten that you’re here to look at the animals, not fumble over words as you desperately try to make conversation. Akaashi shrugs - he doesn’t have one.

You try again.

“Have you been to an aquarium before?” Yes.

“When?” When I was 10, I came with my family.

“Did you like it?” Not much.

You spew out questions until you’ve run out of breath trying to get rid of the silence. So you ask a question you don’t like asking.

“I’m sorry, am I annoying you?” You asked. You dread the answer he will give - what if he found you boring, or noisy, or selfish, or a know-it-all, what if he hates you? What if he regrets coming here?

Akaashi responds with a small shake of his head, “You’re not.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to fill the silence-” You said again, you don’t believe that you’re not. Because you’ve heard that before. “I just-” You hate yourself for stuttering, “I just don’t want this to be boring.”

“You don’t have to force yourself to talk.” Akaashi said, blinking seriously and offering you a small smile. “I enjoy your company as is.”

Akaashi walks beside you - he is silent. Yet, for the first time, the silence doesn’t bother you.

And oh. There is comfort in his silence.

Where others’ felt tense and frustrating, Akaashi’s silence felt normal. His presence does not leave with the sound of his voice, no, instead, it only seems to solidify - because Akaashi Keiji doesn’t need to speak to say that he’s there.

The two of you end up in front of a couple stingrays, you can’t help but put your hands against the glass, marveling at the way they glide through the water. One of them swooped upwards and you can’t help but giggle at the seemingly smiling face of the animal. Your eyes followed it as it swam around.

When you turn back to Akaashi, he is smiling. “You finally look happy.” He said.

A dark blush rose from your neck - you don’t know if he knew how his words have affected you, or if he even knows how he sounded but you don’t speak of it. You simply bask in the moment, part of you registers this as a date, but the more rational part of you labeled it as platonic. You decide to ignore them both, instead, you simply walk with him along the lit path of the dark aquarium. All around you are silhouettes of other people, a thousand buzzing voices tuned out by Akaashi’s presence.

He, alone, is enough to draw your attention even as he did nothing to get it.

Soon enough, you stood by the edge of a dolphin show, watching with wonder as trainers guide and instruct three dolphins to play around. You don’t mind the way that the water splashes on your new outfit, nor the noise of the other visitors. Beside you, Akaashi watches, as well.

One of the dolphins practically flies out of the water, making you slap his arm excitedly as you point towards it. Akaashi only chuckles - he doesn’t mind the way that you’re acting, letting you do as you wish.

And when the show is over and the dolphins swim freely, Akaashi is the one who holds you back from touching them when they get close - when you pout at him he only says, “It’s unpredictable.”

You’re quick to get over it, going over instead to a penguin enclosure, where workers come and let you feed the penguins. You’re quick to wear the gloves, throwing fish just a few feet from where you both were, watching in amazement as the penguins waddle and swarm at the food. You look over to grin at him, “Can you take a picture?”

Akaashi nodded, pulling out his phone to capture pictures of you and your antics around the aquarium. Soon, you both end up under glass again, looking up at the fish that swim by.

“Look! It’s a hammerhead shark!” You smiled, watching it swim up above you both.

Suddenly, you feel his hand close over yours, he pulls you away from a group of visitors you were about to collide with. “Ah, sorry.” You smiled sheepishly at them. When they’re gone, you thank Akaashi, who only nodded.

You don’t comment on it when he keeps on holding your hand - why would you?

As you look around and take your own pictures, Akaashi is the one who tugs you in a certain direction to avoid you getting in an accident. Your mind is aware of your surroundings - after the first time, your brain becomes more alert in order to not embarrass yourself and yet, you let him. You let Akaashi hold your hand, directing you where to go even if you knew it.

A part of you warms at the amount of care the simple gesture showed.

The time to leave comes, but instead of parting ways, you let him walk the both of you to a small cafe near the aquarium. You don’t mind that as he does, his hands still keep themselves intertwined with yours

Your skin flushes at each squeeze or tug of his concern.

He squeezes your hand by the crosswalk just as the lights turn red and the cars stop, holding your hand in a hold that is secure, yet comfortable - he didn’t hold your hand like the bruising grip of your parents, or the loose grip of your laughing friends. He held your hand. He held your hand.

He opens the door for you when you get there, letting you sit as he leaves to get your orders. It is then that he leaves your hand unoccupied. And when he went away, you clutch your hand to your chest.

Akaashi Keiji holds your hand once and your heart thrums in his name.

No? His care, then.

After all, it was Akaashi Keiji who cared enough about you to ask where you were when you were absent in school. "Are you okay?" He asked over the phone.

You sniffle, the cold has lessened but the ache in your body remained, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little bit under the weather."

After school hours, you are surprised to see multiple notifications of texts from him. When you open them, you giggle at the sight of photographs of his notes (thoughtfully separated by subject) and a text listing a to-do list of things you need to catch up on. 

You smile and text him, 'Thank you :D'

Your phone dings. He replies, 'You're welcome.'

Still no? Then maybe his passion.

Akaashi Keiji's passion burns silently. It's there, but it doesn't spread like a wildfire. Instead, it's a well-kept flame that never dies.

You step into the gym, looking around curiously.

You sit by the benches, the sight of volleyball and players aren't new but this sight of Akaashi is. Akaashi's gentle hands seem a little more aggressive in court. His eyes seemed a little sharper and calculative as he made quick judgments of who to set to and how to fool the enemy into making a mistake.

You're completely taken by the sight of it.

Akaashi doesn't scream out motivation to his teammates, but his actions are loud enough. You can barely keep yourself seated, the Bento box you spent hours making feel heavier in your hands.

A whistle blows as both teams breathe heavily. Your heart sinks when you see Akaashi's team panting as the other team celebrates.

Akaashi walks off at the same time as the others do.

You're quick to stand and go after him. When you catch up, he's scowling slightly in front of a vending machine, watching the drink drop. It melts away at the first sound of your footsteps.

He turns his head and looks at you when you call out to him. You fumble with your words, "Uhm- thank you for the notes. I, uh, made this for you." You said, extending the Bento Box towards him.

He takes it hesitantly. "You didn't have to."

You respond, "I wanted to."

You walk with him to the cafeteria, where you both sit down to start eating. 

"Are you okay?" You ask. It feels a little awkward.

Akaashi looks at you, "Of course." The tight grip he has on his chopsticks is enough to let you know how he truly felt.

You watch him carefully, trying to see if he liked it.

He doesn't show his emotions obviously but you see the small jump on his eyebrow when he ate the egg rolls you made, or the light, quick purse of his lips when he sees the slightly burnt sausages. "If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it." You said.

Akaashi Keiji stares at you as he puts another sausage in his mouth.

You fiddle with your fingers, that is when he asked, "Did you get hurt while making this?" You look down at your bandaged fingers and quickly hide them under the table.

"No?" You said, flinching when it comes as a question instead of a statement.

Akashi blinks. You relent. "Fine. Yes I did."

He sighed but didn't say anything else.

And yet, before lunch break ended, Akaashi sat by you, changing your sloppily applied bandages with new ones. "You have to disinfect the cuts first before you bandage them." He reminds you, "And next time, be more careful."

When he's done, he places another carton of banana milk into your hands, "Here, it'll make you feel better."

By the time school is over, your eyes wander to see where Akaashi might've gone. You ask around, no one really knows either - this is why you hated Thursdays, because Thursdays meant having only one morning class with Akaashi. You text him, waiting for a reply as your feet continue to wander.

He does not reply.

Finally, you end up by the gym. You jump slightly at the sound of balls hitting the ground. When you step inside, you see Akaashi, standing only a few feet away from the net, setting for people who weren't there.

"Akaashi?"

Your voice breaks his concentration, making him tense. He caught the ball in his hands, looking over to you, asking what you needed.

You asked him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied. A part of you knew that he wasn't.

So you walk in, false confidence draped on your shoulders as you asked, "Do you want help?"

Akaashi is hesitant, but he accepts.

Soon, you are throwing balls in his direction, his body moving almost on autopilot as he keeps on setting again and again and again. By the time you're both done, the sun begins to threaten that it will leave entirely, giving you only minutes of sunlight before the two of you finally make your way out.

"I'll walk you home," he said.

You shake your head. Though the two of you go towards the same initial direction, you know that when you reach the third intersection, you'd have to part. His house is to the left of the third intersection, yours is to the right of the fifth. If he goes to yours, he'd have to walk for thirty minutes more and you knew he was tired. You knew he was slowly burning out.

So you said, "You don't have to."

He replied, "I want to."

You couldn't find it in yourself to say no to that.

The two of you stop by a small shop.

You buy him strawberry milk the same time he bought you banana milk.

So maybe you don't hate Thursdays as much anymore. Because now, Thursdays meant late volleyball with Akaashi, followed by a night walk and banana milk.

Ah. When did you start liking banana milk?

Maybe it's all of the above.

Before you knew it, you only have a year left before college comes so you stand beneath a cherry blossom tree, cursing under your breath because fuck, this is so cliche. 

It’s spring and everything is blooming - everyone is confessing. It feels so stupid to do the same but your heart is thumping like crazy and everything else feels irrelevant. Who cares if it’s cliche? Who cares if it’s been done before? Who cares if it’s obvious?

It’s your feelings and you have the right to do with it as you wish so when Akaashi comes into view, everything melts away. Suddenly, it’s just him and you under a cherry blossom tree.

You know that he knows - after all, how could he not?

And yet, you still spit it out, the words that feel so big on your tongue. “I like you.” You said, screwing your eyes shut as you try to ask your heart to calm down because if not, you might just pass out right then and there. “I like you so much.” You breathe, your lungs stagger and ache as you try to take in oxygen.

Akaashi Keiji replies. “Why?” You open your eyes, it’s then that you see the cards of pinks and glitters tucked crumpled on his pockets, and the plastic bag of chocolates he was holding. Ah. There were those that came before you.

You stammer - you didn’t think of a poem to tell him how much you like him or a beautiful metaphor that illustrates how you feel. “I-” You stumble over your words, “I just- I just like you.”

“When I’m with you, I’m comfortable and I feel accepted and I haven’t felt this way before.” You said, you feel all tongue-tied again, as if each syllable is stuck in your throat and you have to force them out each time. “I love your silence, when I’m with you I don’t feel pressured to be someone I’m not and I… I appreciate the way you treat and care for me.”

Your answer is all over the place, if you knew, you would have memorized an essay that answered him fluently and properly, you would construct a message that had clear points, you wouldn’t stutter or doubt if your message is coming through. If you knew he would ask ‘Why?’, you would have written a thousand words to tell him why you liked him but you didn’t.

So you conjure all the ways you liked him - “I like it when we touch, because your hands feel warm and soft and when you held my hand that day we went to the aquarium, I couldn't help but want you to keep on holding on to me. I’m jealous of all the girls who had the courage to confess to you before me- I envy their strength to look you in the eyes and tell you ‘I like you’ because I’m confessing to you right now but I can’t look you in the eyes because I’m embarrassed and I feel underprepared.” You spoke quickly, looking down on the ground as you gripped the box of homemade cupcakes you baked for him specifically for today.

“I want to give you something better because now I see what the others gave and it’s all so expensive but I- I don’t have enough money to afford that much and I never really had a talent for writing heartfelt letters because they all end up cheesy but I- I wanted to do it for you. So instead, I made you cupcakes! But I don’t think you’ll like them because- because it’s my first time making cupcakes of this flavor because I know you like this but I’ve never made it before but I wanted to make it for you but Akaashi I’m so nervous that I’m speaking the first thing that comes in my mind. So please, if you’re going to reject me, please just reject me already-” You were going to look up to look him in the eyes when he cut you off.

“May I kiss you?” He asked softly.

His words are enough to make your brain short-circuit.

“What?” You asked - you must have heard him wrong.

Akaashi repeats his question, “May I kiss you?”

You stammer - what even is there to say? You respond a little quicker, tongue tripping on words, "Y-yes!"

Akaashi Keiji leans in, you freeze. His hands cupped both sides of your cheeks, you have a second to register how he drops the plastic bag filled with chocolate treats. You have another to panic about whether or not your breath smells good and whether or not you should open your mouth or keep it closed.

Akaashi Keij kisses you under a cherry blossom tree and shit, it's fucking cliche but you love it - because that moment, that fraction in time is strictly just yours and his. It didn't matter that this was probably done before, that multiple students have probably kissed under the same tree… what mattered is that Akaashi Keiji's lips are on your own and your first kiss tastes like chocolates and lip balm.  

Akaashi pulls away, you finally dare to look at him and your heart skips a beat at the sight of his flushed cheeks and the way his breaths seem labored. He is just as breathless as you are.

His hands are still holding your cheeks.

You feel them tremble against your skin.

Before anything else could happen, impulsivity pushes you to pull him in again by the collar of his uniform. Until his lips are flush against yours for the second time because once is not enough.

Your grip on his clothes tighten.

Ah, you're probably going to buy chocolate-flavored lip balm soon.

Maybe it's something entirely different.

Being with Akaashi means a good morning text by the time you wake up and a goodnight text before you sleep. The sight of it is enough to make you kick your feet in the air, heart acting like drums as they beat against your hollowed ribs. 

Being with Akaashi means little study dates in the library, tucked in some corner where no one will interrupt you both. He leaned towards you, voice patient when he said, “Now you have to convert it to moles.” He nods along when you do it correctly, but is quick to correct you when you get it wrong. And in turn, you help him review for tests you knew he could do on his own.

“But I want to do this with you.” He said, when you mention that he can probably review this by himself. Akaashi stares at you. As you stare into his blue eyes, you realize that it’s really easy to fall a little deeper, until you’re neck deep and your heart swells.

You smile. “Okay… let’s continue then.”

You remember that the first time the two of you decided to go on a real, official date, it’s in a botanical garden. The coming of Spring has driven the both of you to visit one. That is what gets you on a train going to Kyoto, your lips curved into a smile as you show him the destination - Kyoto Botanical Garden. You’ve already told him about this, knowing that he would appreciate having the chance to make a loose plan the two of you can follow to make the most of the day.

Akaashi doesn’t say much, he only says that he’s looking forward to it, as well. A part of you is nervous that he’s pretending - ah, maybe this is an elaborate prank and Akaashi Keiji is much more cruel than you think - but before you can overthink it any further, Akaashi clamps his hand on top of yours, intertwining them securely.

You lean on his shoulder.

Akaashi tenses.

Immediately, you move to pull away, only to have his unoccupied hand pat your head, gently guiding it back on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs softly, “it’s my first time being like this, so I didn’t expect it.”

“Oh… it’s fine.” You smile to yourself, giving his hand a little squeeze.

The world falls silent. You think to yourself, ah, could this get any better?

Akaashi turns and places a soft kiss on top of your head and you think - yes, yes it can.

The two of you arrive at the garden at exactly 11:07 AM. The moment you do, you find a good place to snap a picture of both of your shoes. It’s followed by a selfie near the gates, making you glad that you brought your selfie stick along.

Akaashi steps close to you as the two of you pose for the picture, his hand finding your waist as natural as the leaves falling from nearby trees. And perhaps a part of you falls along with them as you feel his hold. You’re quick to take pictures, walking around and talking with him as you did.

Your feet lead you to the Rhododendron Garden. You feel your breath taken away by the sight of the flowers. You lead him nearer, taking pictures of the pink, red, and orange flowers. Akaashi’s hands are the ones who stop you from touching them.

“They can cause skin irritation.” He says simply.

You turn to him. “How did you know?”

He looks back towards you, “Research.”

A soft chuckle leaves your lips and you tease him, “Wow, I didn’t know you were such a nerd.” You stuck your tongue out to him playfully, making him huff a little. “Was it for an assignment? Or a project?”

“No.” He answered, holding your hands again.

“Then for what?” You smiled.

“For you.” He murmurs. “Plants and flowers are beautiful, yes, but I didn’t want to risk you getting harmed if you accidentally touch or eat one.”

“Eat one?” You asked. “You think I would eat a flower?”

“...yes.” He said, almost slowly as his eyes flicked to the side for a moment before his sight trails back to you. “I simply want to keep you safe and sound-” His explanation is cut off by the sound of your laugh, loud and kind of boisterous. He looked dumbstruck - a part of him had expected you to get offended… a part of him did not realize your laugh sounded this beautiful.

“Fine, whatever.” You chuckle, trying to brush it off and ignore the blush that has risen to your cheeks. “Whatever you say, I guess.” And if you hold his hand a little tighter, Akaashi speaks nothing of it. Instead, he gives your hand a small squeeze.

You venture towards the Rose Gardens, past a section of the Botanical which was fashioned to look European. You bend down a little, taking photographs of the flowers. "They're beautiful." You smile, eyes following the way they sway in the wind.

You don't see the way he looks at you - you are far too distracted by the roses to see it.

He says, "Yes, they are."

His gaze burns.

You end up walking along the central lawn, walking into a homey cafe as Akaashi holds your hand. “Lunch first, then we go to…” You scroll along your phone, where you have a map of the place saved. "The Japanese Gardens, right?”

Akaashi nods as the two of you set down your things. You sit in front of each other, quickly deciding on what you’ll get. Soon, he leaves you to get your orders, you stay seated, waiting patiently. When he gets back, he carefully places your Udon Noodle Soup in front of you, followed by a glass of water. On his side, he places a bowl of Katsudon. Followed by this is a plate of gyoza, which came with a small container for the sauce.

He smiles, “Be sure to eat well.” You can only nod as the two of you start eating, hands gripping your chopsticks securely. Somewhere in the middle, Akaashi catches you giving small glances towards his Katsudon, without hesitation, he picks up a piece and extends his hand out towards you. “It’s tasty, try it.”

You hesitate, before deciding to eat it. You lean in, taking it from his chopsticks and chewing slowly, nodding as he asked if you liked it. Your eyes meet. You are still leaning in a little and as if impulsivity possessed you, you decide to rise a little, meeting his lips with your own - and somehow, his Katsudon tastes a little better when it comes from his lips.

Akaashi chuckles, looking away a little as a soft blush rose from his neck.

The two of you eat quietly after that, stealing glances, sharing portions of your food as the two of you take a quick rest from walking. Deciding to take your time finishing the portion of gyoza left, Akaashi rose from his seat, taking the one beside you, instead. You spend the rest of that time talking softly, laughing and taking cute little pictures. You take a note to make a scrapbook soon - it’s the first time you’ve ever felt like this and every single part of you longs to simply capture this very moment and live in it forever.

The two of you leave soon after, making your way towards the Japanese Gardens.

He holds your hand as you walk, his fingers slotting between your own and you can’t help but wish that moments like these lasted for eternity.

Akaashi walks you home after your date. He leans towards you, gently pushing his lips against yours. When he pulls back, you have to blink multiple times to get back to your proper senses. He gives you a small, transparent box. You look up and take it from his hands, carefully holding the box as you gazed at the potted, succulent plant inside the box.

“I bought it for you while you were away for a bit.” He said, “I hope you take care of it.”

“Of course I will.” You smiled. “Thank you, ‘kaashi.”

Akaashi smiles, kissing you again, just as soft as the last time. “You’re always welcome. Let’s do this again soon.” He said after pulling away. You nodded, making him smile a little wider. “Goodnight.” He said, followed by a sweet, soft murmur of your name - and it was as if each syllable became priceless when he said them.

“Goodnight, Akaashi.” You smile.

He's so easy to love, isn't he?

Akaashi Keiji shares one of his earphones with you while the two of you sit next to each other. The first song he plays is always a love song, followed by whatever song is next on the playlist. You actually have your own playlist with him, titled 'A Dream Come True', each song was the answer to a question, making you chuckle as you began to compare and contrast your tastes in music. It's a bit cliche, but it's true, isn't it?

Akaashi Keiji always makes sure you're prepared for tests - because he knows that sometimes, you run low on motivation. So he brings you an energy drink, maybe a cup of coffee, sometimes even a whole meal. He stays up with you when you study your lessons, helping you out when you need it.

“Here,” he said, quietly as you both sat in your room, “I usually dissuade you from drinking these but I know you need it.” He sighed as he handed you the energy drink. He sits beside you, opening his notebook as he studies beside you again. As you drink, you take it upon yourself to hold his left hand, watching him scribble notes and make neat markings on the book he was reading.

Akaashi simply squeezes your hand lightly as he did, giving you brief glances when you move around before putting his attention back to studying.

Akaashi Keiji cooks with you. When you hit your first anniversary, he took it upon himself to invite you to his house while his family was away. There, the two of you spent the day making ramen from scratch.

He stands beside you as you massaged the dough, cutting up vegetables and pork as you did. Soon enough, you’re splitting the mass of dough, laughing as you both struggled a little to split it evenly. “If you end up with more noodles than me, I’m stealing your bowl.” You laughed, making him shake his head with a smile as he brought the bowl of flour closer.

You both start making sheets made up of the dough, folding and dusting it with flour before beginning to cut it to make noodles. "You're not cutting it evenly." He chuckled, looking up from his own noodles, which you saw were cut evenly.

"Whatever, perfectionist." You roll your eyes, though you do give a little more effort in evenly cutting them.

It doesn’t take long before you’re sitting next to him, assembling your ramen carefully. "Hey! That's my portion!" You gasp, stealing the piece of meat from him and hitting his hand lightly as he laughed. You place it carefully on top of your noodles, smiling as it all comes together.

He places a small container of chili powder near you, "Here, I know you like it spicy."

You smile, leaning in to kiss him briefly. "Thanks, you know me so well." He chuckled, watching you carefully sprinkle in some.

He puts your bowls next to each other, carefully placing chopsticks on top of neatly folded tissues. "Let's take a picture." He murmured. You snap quick pictures - both of the food and of each other - putting it into the gallery collection labeled as '1st Anniversary'. 

You start eating in the living room, opening the television and putting on a movie as you eat together.

He just feels perfect, doesn’t he?

It's been four years since then, college has come, and it threatens to split you apart.

"I can't this week," he said - how many times has it been?

You purse your lips, hand tightening your grip on the phone, "Again?" The question slips out of your lips like the falling of droplets. Small. Quick. Almost unheard. "You promised you'd come with me this time." A part of you is quick to give up - the Museum will open up again, don’t worry, don't worry - but the rest is starting to scurry away from him and your hands have started to ache as you hold onto strings that kept you together.

"I'm sorry," how many times have you heard that before?, "But this is a very important project, I can't risk passing it late."

More important than me? You almost bit back, more important than our 4th anniversary? You do not say it. You cannot. So you keep your true thoughts locked in the darkness of your mind and you say to him, "Yeah. Okay. Sure. We'll reschedule, then?"

"Yes, I'm really sorry-" you cut him off before he can speak your name, you knew that if he did, you would crumble and break and from the way you see it, Akaashi cannot risk being distracted by anything… by anyone.

It is the first time you ever missed an anniversary.

"It's okay." You said. You grip the phone a little tighter. You stare almost blankly at your computer screen. The phone call ends before you realize - you both do not say I love you anymore, the phrase has gone foreign on your tongue, like an unknown language you hear for the first time. And even your ears, which used to translate his playlists to that phrase; or your skin which used to shiver and recognize his touch as his way of saying it; or your lips which smile at the taste of his unspoken words - they neither hear, feel, nor taste it anymore. 

You place your phone away from sight. You do not wish to see it.

A vain feeling of burning grief rises from the embers of a broken heart - it threatens to choke you and leave your throat bruised and burnt from its touch. You almost want to beg for it to do so. You have a feeling that it would feel much better than this.

Loneliness. Your mind labeled the feeling - the emotion born from being alone; the feeling of being abandoned.

Your eyes trail to your computer screen. There, the sight of him makes your gut curl and tie in knots, the Akaashi you knew from two years ago smiles at you. The dimple on his cheek stays the same, so does the ruffle of his dark hair and the clearness of his blue eyes - the Akaashi you knew has gone static. 

Akaashi is smiling, wearing the outfit he wore during one of your dates in an art gallery - a simple, beige cardigan and loose pants, his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. The sight of him from your computer screen looked so real it coaxes tears out of your eyes. Your dislike of drawing realism is dwarfed when it is him you draw. For how can it ever go against the love you have for him which always seems to overflow onto the spaces of your hollowed ribs?

It has been too long since you last saw each other and clumsy phone calls between classes or before you both go to sleep is not enough.

It is as if life has stolen him from you and dangles his image far from your reach yet close to your eyes - you see him in the darkness behind your eyelids, there, he has the chance to let you lay your head on his shoulder, the taste of banana milk sweet on your tongues, his hand holds yours and you are warm. So warm that you melt into his arms but now, in the cold and in the darkness of your dorm room, you are running a fever and your soul, which yearns for him screams his name but he does not respond in kind.

Instead, he says I'm sorry.

Oh how you've begun to despise that phrase.

You are left there on your bed, curled and crying and despising your reaction because at this point, you should have gotten used to it.

How many times has he left you like this, unknowing that it was a time you needed him most?

But then again… what did you expect?

The two of you have aged, you do not live just thirty minutes away anymore, instead, he lives two cities over, attending his dream college as you attend yours. You both chose this, saying that it will work, saying that you will make it work - but that did not last long.

Somewhere near the end of first year, your weekend dates have been forgotten; by the second, even scheduled dates are canceled and rescheduled, only to get canceled again. Now here, on your third, phone calls are filled with I miss you yet followed by I'm sorry. A part of you hates him for saying that, yet hates you more for sometimes doing the same.

It is as if life is determined to keep you apart, the same way fate strung you together, making you live half an hour apart from childhood to your teenage years yet never letting you meet until highschool - but ah. What if you two were never truly built to last?

Your nails dig into your skin, threatening to break into it and make you bleed. How many times have you done this to yourself? Hugging your knees to your chest, asking where it went wrong. You both tried didn't you? You both wanted this to work, didn't you?

Oh. What if everything is going wrong because you are the only one who wants this now?

You think. You think. You think.

What if, behind the closed phone screen, after the hung up calls and quick goodbyes, someone else wraps their arms around his shoulders like you used to. And it is them that whisper comfort in his ears and what if he is only waiting for the right way, for the right time to end it?

What if, when he says “I’m sorry”, he is only waiting for you to realize the silent goodbyes that follow that phrase?

Akaashi wouldn't do that to you… right?

You bite your lip, a part of you tries to pull you back but it cannot. You sink. In this falling, there is only darkness - you cannot envision Akaashi to be there to catch you, why hope that he will when you know that he is not there?

But you trust him, don't you?

And you love him, don't you?

You feel paralyzed on your bed, unable to move and unable to think of things other than the fact that he is not there. You felt as if you were going crazy.

Your roommates have come and go to tell you to eat, but your lips only move to give a half-hearted excuse that you aren’t hungry yet - in truth, you have no appetite at all, even as your stomach churns and eats itself from the inside. 

There’s a knock on your door. A part of you wishes it is him. The rest know it’s not.

It’s your roommate, they tell you that you should eat soon, it's late and you shouldn't skip dinner. "I know you're on a diet," they said, "but you haven't eaten properly in weeks. I don't want you to get sick, okay? Please eat dinner soon."

"I will." You respond - you will not. You hear their footsteps retreat, making you close your eyes as you try to fall back asleep.

But really, why do you love him?

You wake to the sound of knocking. Someone asks if they can come in. You grumble and say whatever comes into mind - "Leave me alone, go away." They knock again and apologize, and finally you relent - "Fine, come in, whatever." You huddle a little closer to your blankets, curling up as you hear the door open and their footsteps are heard as they walk in.

They close the door. You hear a soft click as they lock it.

They sit on your bed, you feel it dip under their weight. At this point, you can't find it in yourself to care if they end up being a serial killer or whatever - a thought that you'd probably regret in the afterlife, if ever.

They brush a hand through your hair, before you hear a sigh. They lift your blanket, settling beside you and putting a loose arm around your waist. They kiss your hair and come a little closer.

They utter your name and ask if you're asleep - you cannot find it in yourself to reply. So you pretend. You act like you're asleep, even if you knew that they probably know you aren't.

He doesn't tell you that he loves you.

When you truly wake hours later, it's near the afternoon, you sit up and feel their arm fall from its place on your waist. You look to the side and see him right there - Akaashi Keiji, warm and asleep as he breathed softly.

"So it wasn't a dream." You mumble to yourself. "You're really here."

You can't help but reach out to touch him. Your touch alone is enough to stir him awake, his eyes fluttering open and immediately focusing on you. His soft utterance of your name is enough to make you draw back. Just hours before, you had so much to say, but now that he was here, your parched throat could not bear to say anything.

“What happened?” He asked, getting up from the bed and holding your hand gently. “I hear you haven’t eaten properly in weeks.”

You sigh and shake your head, "It's nothing. It's late, Akaashi, you should get back to your dorm."

Akaashi shakes his head, looping his hand around your wrist and pulling you back. "Wait! I… I wanted to talk." He said. "About us."

Ah. Here it is. 

The thing you have been dreading - the coiled dread in your gut wakes, slithering up your spine until it curls around your lungs and heart. "What is it?" You ask.

"Why don't we go to the living room? I'll cook you up a meal as we talk." He said.

"Not here. The others-"

"I asked for a favor. They're out right now. For the entire day." He said. "I know you like privacy and I didn't really think you would be up for going out."

You nod hesitantly. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

You sit on the chair in front of the counter, he grabs the apron from the rack and begins to talk as he opens the refrigerator. "Is Omurice okay with you?"

"Yes but- actually, they cooked last night, there's probably still some leftovers from dinner. I can just eat that." You said, rising from your seat as the ache in your bones started to come back.

"Sit down," he said - it's the first time you've ever heard him sound so forceful. "Please… just… sit down, okay?" He turns towards you and smiles, "Let me take care of you."

He doesn't buy you your favorite meals.

He grabs a chopping board as he takes out the ingredients, along with the leftover pork chops from last night. He heats it up as he begins to chop portions of carrots and potatoes. "I'm not sure where to begin," he said.

"You're doing just fine- after that you just have to make fried rice then-" Your rambles are cut off.

"You know that that's not what I meant." He sighed.

"Well maybe I don't want to talk about it." You said, "Maybe I'm not ready to let you go- Akaashi, we've been together for four years, I'm not going to let you leave me like this." You look down, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes.

"Leave you?" He asked. "Why would I leave you?"

You look up, "Is that… not what you're here for?"

Akaashi blinks at you, opening his mouth as he tries to conjure the right words, "I'm not- I didn't come here to break up with you."

You sat up a little straighter, the tears in your eyes backtracking and retreating back into their ducts. "Then what are you here for?"

"To apologize." He said, "And to talk about what we want to do next - if anything, I've been anxious you'll break up with me." He turned back to the vegetables he was cutting, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to blink the forming tears away. And perhaps he is just as heart broken as you have been.

"I couldn't come yesterday because of the project so I wanted to make it up to you today. Then I heard you weren't eating well so I came late into the night yesterday as soon as I finished the project but well… you were already resting, I think." He said, "I'm sorry that I slept next to you last night, I know I didn't ask for your permission. I just- I just couldn't help it, I guess."

He chuckles. You watch him mess up a little as he wiped at his forehead - he's nervous. You've never seen him act like this before. He opens the stove and adds a slab of butter into a pan, letting it heat up for a bit before he adds cooked rice. It's followed by the vegetables he cut up. As he cooked, he said, "I wanted to make it up to you. Everything that I've been lacking and missing-"

"It wasn't your fault." Your mouth is quick to say it, even as your insides churn in glee as he begins to apologize.

"It was." He said, "I should've made some time for us, like you were doing. I'm sorry that I've been selfish for the past few months."

"You were chasing your dreams - who was I to stop you?" You asked.

He says your name. Softly. Gently. As if your name will break on his tongue if he says it any differently. "It's okay," he said, "I already know my faults. And besides… I don't want you to think there's something wrong with you or that I've fallen out of love with you or anything like that because I haven't."

He plates the fried rice, setting it on the counter. He breaks two eggs into a bowl, adding a little salt before beating it. 

What passes is a moment of silence. You watch, eyes trained on the fact that he is here - how many nights have you lain awake, wishing for the stars to bring him back to you?

You look down, there is a voice in your head that says you should break up with him - make him feel as desperate as you did, it said, hurt him as he has hurt you. And yet, you don't. Perhaps you love him too much to do so.

Sometimes love is letting go, the voice said, it questions you, what makes you think he won't just neglect you again? You are as expendable as the eggshells he broke and got rid off moments ago, what makes you think he will keep on loving you as he used to?

You play with your hands, heart beating a little quicker and harsher against the bones of your ribs. What if he finds someone else? It will hurt more if you continue, just leave now - that way it will hurt once then never again.

Do not tell me that he's worth it - do you even know if he still finds worth in you?

"I know I'm pretty late but if it's okay with you… do you think that maybe we could try again? I promise that I'll be better this time." He said, setting down the plate of food in front of you, freshly cooked, and looking delicious yet your stomach tightens and churns at the sight of it - perhaps it is not food you hungered for.

He unties his apron, hooking it on the rack again as he goes around the counter to step closer towards you. He speaks your name but his voice is muffled by your own heartbeat and suddenly, you feel frozen as you say on that seat. Doubt creeps and breathes onto your neck, raising goosebumps and fear of being left - Akaashi speaks your name again but the tremble of your heartbeat does not cease. In fact, it grows louder.

It is the first time you felt alone even while in his presence.

He will find someone to replace you, the voices said, look at him. Top of his class and soon to graduate, blessed with good looks and a nice voice - men and women will flock to him, do you think you'll stand a chance?

But he loves me, you think to yourself, Akaashi loves me.

But does he? Tell me. Does he really?

Your hands clench against each other, almost threatening to break your knuckles until Akaashi's hand covers your own. Your hold on yourself loosens a little. His hands move. The chair scrapes against the floor. Suddenly, his arms are around you.

"It's okay." He murmured, kissing the top of your head, "I'm right here. I'm not going to leave." It was as if he knew what was going on inside your head, as if he heard what doubt and anxiety had whispered into your ears. "It's okay, I've got you. Cry if you need to, I'll stay as long as you need me to."

The tears come like the makings of a waterfall, dripping from your eyes and down along your cheeks leaving tear tracks on your skin. 

"I'm sorry," you said, "I'm so sorry, I don't know why I'm crying I just-" Akaashi shakes his head, wiping at your tears as he gives you a small, worried smile.

"It's okay," he said, giving your temple a soft kiss, "It's going to be alright." He rubs your back as you let your tears fall. "I'm sorry, my dear," he murmurs, holding you a little tighter, "I didn't mean to make you feel abandoned."

You cling to him a little tighter, there is a silence in your head that threatens to break as soon as you unhold him so you let yourself unravel instead - perhaps, you will find solace in the sound of your own breaking. You spend what seemed to be a thousand years right there in his arms, but even that is not enough to fill your heart's chasm. 

Your hands feel weak even as they grip him tightly, you cannot help but cry as he carefully rubs your back. He treats you as if you would shatter right there in his hold should he touch you too roughly. You don’t know whether to hate or thank him for it.

After some time, you are able to tear yourself away from him, sniffling as you finally settle and slumped down on your seat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you with all of this.” You said.

Akaashi shook his head, gently placing a kiss on your tired knuckles again. “It’s fine, dear. It wasn’t your fault.” He smiles lightly against your skin, “Why don’t you eat for now? You’re probably still quite tired, so we can rest for a bit before talking about this again.”

You give him seconds of silence before you say, “Okay.”

He hands you the cutlery, watching with a soft smile on his face as he sees you smile slightly as you break the egg on top, watching the half-cooked yolk run along the fried rice. You give him a look, before pushing him lightly towards the container holding the cutleries. “Eat with me.” You say, “I won’t be able to finish it all.”

You pierce the heated piece of porkchop, bringing it to his lips as you say, “You need food, too.”

Akaashi sighs, before he eats it and gets his own spoon and fork. “As long as you eat well, as well.” He said, watching you eat a spoonful before he eats, too. He sits right next to you, silently eating, yet somehow making sure that you ate more than him.

“Let’s go out. On a date, I mean.” You said - impulsive and sudden.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Yeah. We can drop by your dorm so you can change, then we can visit the park or something.”

Afterwards there is silence as you take a quick shower while he washed the dishes, but as you stand under the water, the soft warmth is not enough to comfort you. As soon as you are out of his reach, the whispering voices come back. He’s lying, it said, like the others did. You feel tears swell up from their coves again, your fingers twiddling with each other as you watch the soap suds get washed away by the running water.

He will leave when the time comes, maybe when you’re angry or while you argue, they say, so that he’s not the bad guy. Your hands claw at your arms again - ah, you should leave the shower soon. You should, you should. Yet your legs do not move. You feel stuck as the whispers turn to statements - he will leave again, until you understand what his leaving means and break it off with him. He doesn’t say it but he wants to be free of you.

So you ask yourself - what can you do to make him stay?

How can you convince him to stay? 

You look down at yourself, trying to ignore the forming lump in your throat.

Your throat constricts, you do not have words left to say other than your woes and you’re sure it will only push him away. What if he really leaves?

But what else is there to give?

A knock on the bathroom door snaps you away from falling deep into those thoughts again. Akaashi spoke your name before he said, “You should step out soon, you might get sick if you stay there for too long.”

You say that you’ll step out soon but your mind is still trying to think of something - of anything - that might convince him to stay. It was as if your mind had forgotten the words he uttered of not wanting to leave you, perhaps you have been feeling lonely for too long that you have begun to cling to a person who will not leave you.

Or perhaps you just don’t believe him and his words anymore.

You wrap a towel around yourself, holding it against your body as you step out. You open your closet, putting on your clothes and buttoning up your shirt only to hear your door open. Akaashi curses loudly as he fumbles with the doorknob, and as you turn to look at him, you see the way his eyes are cast downwards, cheeks flushed red and his hands trembling a little from the panic. You didn’t hear what he wanted to say - nor can you find it in yourself to care.

This.

You stride towards him, holding his wrists and you say, softly, “Don’t go.”

He hesitated in answering and you can’t help but pull him into your room, locking the door behind the two of you as you basically crowd him onto the bed. He falls on the mattress, settling to sit against the headboard, as if he wanted to run from you. You begin unbuttoning your clothes, letting it fall to your elbows as you shrug it off.

Perhaps if you can make him happy now, he will stay with you forever.

You see his flushed face as he tries to keep on looking away and you say - almost a demand - “Look at me, Keiji.” His blue eyes flicker towards you, blinking quickly as you step closer, crawling into bed and trapping him between your limbs. His breaths come quick and heavy - nervous and unsure.

You settle on his lap, hands moving upwards to thumb at the edges of his clothes.

You ask, “May I?”

He doesn't even let you do what you want.

He answered, soft sighed as he spoke, “No.”

“Oh.” You say softly. He doesn’t want you. “You don’t want me.” You look away. Your hands fall, but before they could fall onto your lap, his own hands have caught them and brought them to his lips.

“I do, my dear,” He murmurs, “Trust me when I say that I do want you.” His blue eyes look up at you, “But not like this.”

“Then how do you want me?” You asked, sounding hopeful - yet for the wrong thing.

Akaashi looks up at you, thumbing and grazing his touch along the edges of your eyes. “When you’re okay, then we can do this.” He said, “But not when you’re like this… not when we are like this. I don’t want our first to be so unromantic and sad.” He offers you a soft smile, “Why don’t we just watch a movie? Or would you prefer a short nap? We can cuddle, if you’d like.”

“But this is the only thing I haven’t given yet.” You say.

Akaashi makes you look at him, “You don’t need to. I will love you regardless.”

Ah. It is the first time you ever heard him say that, isn’t it?

You can’t stop the tears that fall from your eyes and you raise your hands to sob onto your palms as you feel your soul tremble at the mere utterance of how he loves you. He loves you. Akaashi Keiji loves you.

His gentle hands pry your hands away from your face, chuckling as he leans up to kiss your tears away. You sniffle - you don’t understand why you’re crying so much but at this point, does it even matter?

At some point, he has maneuvered you to lay on top of him, his arms wrapped around your waist as your hands grip at his clothes. Your legs are tangled with each other's, your ear against his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

So… why?

"You won't leave me?" You ask.

His hands move to comb his fingers through your hair. He answers you, "Never."

"Are you sure? What if you find someone better?" You ask again. You close your eyes, exhausted from this day alone.

"That's impossible," he said simply, "There's no one in this world that equals you." He says it so seriously that you can't even remember what your doubts have whispered just an hour before.

"I love you." You say.

He responded, "I love you too."

Why him, of all people?

Years later and he kisses you at the altar, his hands cupping your cheeks as your lips meet for the billionth time.

He tastes as sweet as the first time.

In the after party, he holds your hand securely, intertwining your fingers and kissing you periodically. You giggle at this - it's one of the few times he was ever like this.

"You must've missed me a hundred times today." You say softly as you get ready for your honeymoon.

"I'll kiss you a hundred more tonight." He whispers back, smiling as you blush and push him away slightly.

"You're being stupid, Akaashi." You roll your eyes.

"Just for you, Akaashi." He winks, pulling away from you as he watches you blush a little deeper.

But then again, maybe the point isn't why but the fact that you do.

"Akana! Right here, c'mon!" You grin, clapping your hands as you cheer for your little daughter. Keiji is crouched down, bracing to catch her if she falls. Hikaru is standing on wobbly legs, holding onto your arms as he watches his twin sister take her first steps.

You hear the small patting of her feet against the hardwood floor. 

Finally, she reaches you just fine, her small hands clasping on your own as she smiles. You give her a big hug, grinning as Hikaru joins in. You carry Akana to the couch, your husband following suit as he carries Hikaru.

"They're growing up too quickly." You sniffle, bouncing Akana on your leg as Keiji sits beside you, letting Hikaru cling to him as he replies with a low chuckle. "What? You don't think they're growing quickly?"

"They're still toddlers. And besides, they'll probably stay with us until they're 18, calm down." He smiled, "Don't worry, you have a lot of time with them."

He leans forward and kisses your forehead. He pulls away, beginning to play with Hikaru as he smiles.

You watch him as you hold your daughter.

So this is what love is.

[grumpykento]

Dad!Nanami

Here is a little story/headcanon I cooked up for dad!Nanami, I hope you guys like it.

Warnings: none, sorry for the format though it looks a little crowded

Let me know how I did! I love any feedback or requests! I want to be more active on this page hopefully this February!

<3

He’s on the phone with another client, trying to tie up loose ends from home, while still having to bring work home with him; 

He promised to spend more time with you and the baby not long ago, making sure he didn’t miss the opportunities to make memories with you and his daughter. 

It wasn’t a hard decision to make, telling the higher-ups to deal with it, knowing that he was needed to keep this company alive and thriving. 

Even though he hated this job and the people who made it successful. But he didn’t need money for just himself anymore. He needed to provide for you and his beloved daughter. 

Sometimes he did have to make calls from home, hiding his work self away from you as he grumbled and huffed as he heard the specific phone ring from his office. 

Both of you had breakfast before, cutting up her food and while you talked to him about the day

It was the only time he truly felt peace. You tried to keep him comfortable and keep him talking since you knew that he loved to talk about anything other than his feelings. 

Hearing the phone ring brought a frown to his face, handing the spoon to you while kissing your daughter’s head and your cheek, as he walked slowly to the annoying ringing noise.  

You loved to watch him be so dramatic. It was the only time he really showed other emotions, rather than his work embodiment (strict and composed) that his coworkers see. 

You and your daughter love to sneak in during his phone calls, trying not to distract him (that's a complete lie) and mess with his desk that's too clean and organized. He gives you an annoyed look, one that doesn’t reflect how he feels for you, that look is only for his job. His eyes roll with a comedic slowness. “Only a few more hours,” you mouth to him. 

Kissing his frowning lips with the loudest smack to make his cheeks blush just a little before you leave. You knew his coworkers heard him, he knew it too. Did he care? Absolutely not. 

Your daughter would linger; her finished coloring page in her hand, as she stood by his chair, his attention to the phone was completely forgotten as his eyes would match her glowing ones. His smile beaming as she whispers about what she colored, explaining the whole story she made up in her head, obviously one of the squiggles in the drawing is him and she's so proud of it. He puts it up next to all the other drawings she’s made for him, hung up on the windows to his office to show everyone in the entire world that she’s the best artist. 

You’d feel his hands stir you awake as your head jumps from the couch suddenly. His hand running down your back gently pulling you from sleep as he told you dinner was almost ready. You beamed and almost cried at the gesture. He knew that working from home was easier for both of you but that wasn’t enough for him. 

All his time was catered towards taking care of his family, nothing else mattered. He wouldn’t even take calls from work (or Gojo) after 7, and they all knew that. 

He loved to see your sweet smile pull gently towards your cheeks, pulling your daughter closer to your chest as she slept soundly from the busy day of coloring. It was a hard job. And she took it very seriously. 

He loved his family, and choosing to be with you and finding something to create his life around was something he’ll never regret or give up and he’s never shown you anything that could make you doubt. All his love is for you and his family, and he’ll never let go and neither will you.

[folklorcore]

how about a little scenario where the reader wrote call it what you want for robert and him reacting to it

call it what you want ─ r. pattinson

Thank u so much for your request. <3

Pairing: Robert Pattinson x Singer!Fem!Reader

TW/Tags: Established relationship, pure fluff.

Summary: Everyone believes that fame is happiness and perfection, but on the other side of the coin is that at any moment they can destroy you. And that's what happened to you, but during that you met Robert, who you wrote a song for and he reacts to it for the first time.

Words count: 0.83 k.

Robert's Masterlist.

As is known, fame is not always rosy. Much less perfect.

You learned this as soon as a rumor that nearly destroyed your entire reputation caused you to disappear from the public eye for almost half a year.

If it hadn't been for Robert, you honestly wouldn't have pursued that career.

The two first met in person a month after the whole mess went off. When you first started dating, dubious about everything that was going on, you tried to break up with him a couple of times. You didn't think it was good for his career that when both went public with your relationship, they linked him to you.

Most of the discussions were about that. And they always brought you to tears.

So he took you by the cheeks, caressed them gently and looked directly into your eyes.

"Listen to me, if I'm with you knowing everything that happened it's because I really love you for the great person that you are. I know that the y/n they talk about out there is not my y/n. I'm here to stay, honey ."

And that's when you started planning your comeback, preparing your next studio album.

In which there was a song, or more, for Robert.

"All the liars are calling me one,

nobody's heard from me for months,

I'm doing better than I ever was."

You started humming while writing the lyrics.

As the days passed you had more than half the song done.

Everything was inspired by the situation you were going through, how you went from feeling so low but Robert helped get you out of the hole you were in when everyone turned their backs on you.

There was one time where they almost saw you on the streets of Hollywood when you and he went to buy breakfast, only you stayed inside the black armored van and they only got photos of the actor. But they were photos of him smiling at the van as he got into it.

Magazine articles and Internet pages began to speculate about Robert's new conquest, but they never imagined that it would be you.

"'Cause my baby's fit like a daydream,

walking with his head down,

I'm the one he's walking to."

You recorded little clips of moments with him for a possible video for the song.

Moments when it was you and him in a cabin you had in Canada. You spent much of the time there.

You playing the guitar by the fireplace with him in front of you while recording the video.

Walks in the woods. You smiling as he took your hand to kiss the back of it. You composing. You looking at the snowy landscape through the window with a cup of hot chocolate in it. Making forts under the covers in the living room.

"Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night."

It was almost completely finished, only the bridge was missing.

As you tried to figure out what you could write on that part, you brought your hand up to your clavicle, playing with the thin chain that hung from your neck with Robert's initial.

And just like in the cartoons, it was like a light bulb went on over your head.

"I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck." you murmured singing, writing everything before the idea left.

And at least a couple of days later the song was completely finished. A week later you went to record it in a studio and a couple of months later the album was completely ready.

That had been three months ago. All your fans received you in a good way along with your new album.

And some time later the rumor that had caused your disappearance was denied.

You started a tour and that was the first night of it. And it would be the first time Robert would hear the song, because you wanted it to be special, when the album came out you didn't let him hear it.

"This song was inspired by a person who stayed with me all the time when I disappeared," the screams of the fans filled the stadium, making you smile. You looked in the audience for your boyfriend, who was already looking at you with happiness shining on his face. "Robert, this is for you."

You started to sing the song, watching at all times Robert's reaction, which did not stop smiling with love.

"So call it what you want, yeah,

call it what you want to."

You finished, your chest heavy with joy and adrenaline, facing the entire audience with a genuine smile.

Backstage you looked for Robert, and when you saw him you ran to him to hug him, so he welcomed you with open arms, hugging you tightly.

"I loved the song."

"Yeah?" You looked at him affectionately and he nodded caressing your cheek.

"Yeah." He tilted his face a little so he could kiss you softly.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN.

[maruzzewrites]

magical touch.

Gale and Tav/Reader use the tadpole and the Weave to have a physical connection. n/sfw content!

It is a night like any other. Under the stars, spent at the campsite where everyone is either resting or taking the time to be friendly when the day is filled with perilous fights of all kinds.

Gale is by his tent, pacing back and forth with a book in hand as he recites another spell he is trying to memorize. So many variations to the same components, and each person may understand only a fraction of them. The way the Weave reacts to each individual is truly a sight to behold and he will never tire to sing its praises.

The only thing that can distract him from his studies is right about to come by. Gale notices them approaching, and he closes the book as soon as he is sure they are coming towards him. He smiles wide and welcoming as he finds a place for his tome and then goes to hold their face, kiss them tenderly in greeting.

The days are so packed with adventures, one may forget to cultivate interpersonal relationships.

He is about to offer to spend some time together that they raise a question that seems promising, “Do you think the tadpole along with the Weave can make us feel the same things, if we try?”

Many others would think the question odd or inopportune due to their circumstances, but Gale is on the same page about the inherent curiosity of learning more and more about magic and its applications. He ponders on the matter before giving an answer, “We can share thoughts and the Weave is powerful enough to blow away entire cities. It is my theory that we can assume magic could deepen the connection between two people infected by the same parasite.”

They nod, and they seem to contemplate the implications of that answer for a moment. They seem almost embarrassed, for some reason.

The cause of that, though, is soon evident when they pose another question, “Do you think we can use it for, you know… Physical matters?”

Gale, once again, ponders on the question. It doesn’t take much to understand what they are trying to imply with their wording, and he can understand the embarrassment linked to speaking of something so intimate where someone else could listen. Gale has to be honest and admit that, now that the idea is in his mind, he cannot really let it go without trying.

Sure, if the experiment would prove unfruitful it could be a bit disappointing, but the eventuality of experiencing something akin to magical intercourse with someone that is not the very essence of magic like it was with Mystra. To be able to overwrite even that small aspect of his past to compose another ode to his new, bright relationship is something that he cannot and isn’t intent on refusing.

“You’re thinking creatively, which is an important and laudable skill to have in life. I suppose we can say something like that could be possible if we enhance our connection,” he babbles and then stops. He thinks carefully before speaking again, “And I wouldn’t want to experience something similar with anyone else. If I can be so bold, would you like to accompany me on this stimulating attempt that could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the both of us?”

There is delight in their smile, a silent thanks for understanding immediately what they were talking about and the excitement that comes from a promise over a shared desire. Trying new things, together, is always an event that creates expectations and anticipation, despite one’s attempts to calm their own nerves, and Gale cannot help but share the trepidation that is bubbling up in his chest now.

He clears his throat before inviting them inside his tent, away from prying eyes. He knows their companions would never invade their privacy, but for good measure he does secure the closing of the tent. He hopes no one is too curious about their early disappearance, but he assumes everyone can logic the reason in their minds.

To light the space, now that they’re inside, he uses a simple light spell. Nothing he has to focus on as they attempt to create some sort of connection between their bodies through nothing but their own minds. He casts it on a stone that he finds on the ground, places it where they both can see, and then sits down in front of his partner.

They seems to follow every movement of his, and Gale can recognize something familiar in their gaze: want. It’s the same look he knows he has in his own eyes when he looks at them, but having it directed towards him is flattering and fills him with a warm sense of pride. There is always a sense of lacking within himself, there is always something to demonstrate and to reach, but to be looked at as someone to be reached and wanted is a sensation Gale will never tire of.

To be desired like a peer, how wonderful of a feeling it is. And to be proposed all sorts of new experiences not because it’s the only way things can be, but because there is a genuine desire to share and live through them with him. A feeling a man can hardly go without, once felt.

So they sit one in front of the other, silent for a while, looking at each other with longing.

Then, how he is used to, Gale speaks, “So. Do you want this to be a completely hands off experience or do you wish to hold hands throughout the whole ordeal?”

They seem surprised by the question, and think on it for a moment. Gale understands, because to act like they thought, they probably would have to not touch any part of each other’s body. However, sitting in silence in a small space without even letting their finger brush could be a bit weird at first. Gale supposes he can give his own opinion on the matter, “I would like the experiment to be as genuine as possible. We always have other occasions to hold hands.”

They blink. Then they nod, they say they can do that and sit up a bit straighter than before. It’s their turn to speak, “I’d say we close our eyes and concentrate, yes?”

“Yes. I will guide the Weave to flow between us, and you just follow my lead. Just do what comes naturally.” Gale clears his throat again, closes his eyes and raises his hands before opening just one eye to look mischievously towards his partner, “And no peeking while I do my somatic components.”

They giggle at the joke, a short and melodious sound that adds a touch of light to the whole situation. Gale observes as they also close their eyes, cross their legs in front of them, and then relaxes their body as the usual connection that comes from the tadpoles starts to be created between them.

Gale is a honest man, so he also closes his eyes and starts to motion in accordance with what the Weave asks him to do. His hands move through the air until he feels tendrils of its energy twist all around him, taking hold of his essence and slowly linking it with theirs.

He feels them shifting in front of him at the sensation, and the tadpoles seem to react to the new condition as well. They resonate and, enhanced by the power of magic, Gale doesn’t only share the same thoughts with them. Now, he feels it, he shares the same flesh and bones, the blood in their veins and the beat of their heart. He feels the sensation of the air on their skin, the hard earth under their legs, and the eagerness of a person who knows it worked.

Gale wonders only for a second what it’s like for them to share their body and feel his, before he has to bite his own lip to keep a moan in as something akin to a caress travels up his forearm, from wrist to elbow. It’s a languid movement that sends electricity up his back, not because he’s particularly sensitive in that area, but because everything feels amplified.

Every nerve under his skin reacts, and there isn’t even an actual hand on his body. He tries to do the same, to imagine his own hand reach down and push their body together by pulling his partner in, burying his head in their neck and inhaling their scent.

He feels it so clearly and vividly, so heightened by the connection that he fears he might lose his focus.

One step after the other, they touch and probe at their metaphysical bodies. And pure ecstasy pools up at the base of Gale’s stomach with each touch, with each movement he makes to brush against the shared body, and with the very knowledge that they are coming undone just like him if the little gasps and pants that arrive from time to time are any indication.

They are not even imagining anything complete, just tender and lovely touches that usually come before the event proper. Preparations, if one wants to call them that, and Gale cannot phantom what it would be like to abandon restraints completely and go into the depths of carnal (metaphysically speaking) desire.

But one step at a time. Perhaps next time they will venture further, but magic can be dangerous if one doesn’t learn with graduality and careful consideration of their own limits. Of course, Gale is a prodigy, but he wants to be sure his partner won’t be harmed by this kind of power.

So, for now, he lures them in with teasing touches as promises of more to come eventually. It’s a dance they make in unison, fingertips tracing each other bodies, an arm around the other’s chest, a kiss that barely touches the neck and leaves a wet trail behind. A lot of small gestures that accumulate into that heat that is building up in his belly, rising and rising like a fire ready to engulf him.

Suddenly, he feel the tension snap. A pleasing feeling, familiar, washes over him with a strength he never experienced before. It feels wonderful, to share such a feeling, and he hears from the other side of the tent a delightful noise of bliss in that voice he so dearly adores.

He cannot resist, he has to look. He opens his eyes just barely to look over. They are curling up on themselves, face flushed and sweat running down their forehead. They are still clothed, like he is, but there are the telltale signs of arousal that show just how much they enjoyed the little experiment.

Then suddenly, they also open their eyes and the connection wavers, then interrupts. They have a smile on their face, loose, lazy, and content. On their hand and knees, they approach Gale and throw their arms around his neck to push him down onto his back, playfully.

“Cheater. You said no peeking.”

They laugh together, and prepare for an actual night of passion with each other.

[riisume]

Dan Heng the Smiling (Honkai Star Rail)

Summary: March 7th has been trying everything in her power to get the guard of the Astral Express to smile... Except for one thing.

A/N: I haven't had time to draw tk art, so I figured I'd write a short fic about the idea that's been giving me brainworms! This is my first time writing for Honkai Stair Rail and I'm not too far into the game, so bear with me on this-

This is a tickle fic! If this isn't your cup of tea, turn back now. :^)

Word count: 945

"Ugh!" March groaned, seeming perhaps a bit too distraught for a trivial reason; "I feel like I've been trying everything and I haven't gotten you to smile once, Dan Heng! Jokes, funny faces, silly stories I've heard..." She was pacing back and forth around his room, running her fingers through her rosey hair in exasperation as she spoke to the man in question; Dan Heng.

Though, she may as well have been talking to a wall, as he wasn't responding. Instead, his attention was fixed on the pages of a novel that was more likely gotten from the shelves of the archives. Whether he was tuning the girl out or just choosing not to respond was unknown. Either was likely, especially since Dan Heng was particular about people not lingering around the room that he had claimed.

March, having noticed the lack of a response, whipped around to face the taller man who had his back turned to her. The girl's eyebrows furrowed as a pout began to set on her lips.

"Hey, are you listening? I've been working really hard, here...!" While she felt like she had been carrying the burdens of the entire Astral Express on her back trying to succeed in her endeavors, Dan Heng clearly thought otherwise as a light sigh resonated from him.

When March heard, her expression fell into one of surprise before looking particularly offended. With a whine, she began to pace over toward the reserved man.

"C'mon, you can at least give me a response...!" March reached out and began to poke Dan Heng's back to get his undivided attention. Though, to her surprise, what she received from him was a sharp jolt and an abrupt sputter. As she was hoping, Dan Heng's attention was on her as he peered over his shoulder in shock. The surprise almost reached the man's eyes.

March paused, her own eyes were wide and round with curiosity. Was Dan Heng... Ticklish? There was a long silence between the two, though the girl knew she had to test this theory.

"March, do-OHON'T-!" The man couldn't finish his warning before the young woman gave him a few more prods, this time on the small of his back, coaxing out a set of foreign noises; Giggles!

There was a mischievous twinkle in the girl's bright eyes and Dan Heng felt his skin begin to prickle as she began wiggling her fingers at him.

"Dan Heeeeeng~ I didn't know you were ticklish!" March's words were practically sung. She felt like she had made the discovery of the century!

In hopes to recover from this situation, the man's features rested back to their neutral position as he tried to calm himself, despite wanting to quiver at March's fingers merely wiggling at him.

"I'm not. You just caught me by surprise, is all." Dan Heng was convincing... Almost. March wasn't swayed by his act, she knew what she had heard and she was eager to hear more.

"Oh, really? So you toootally won't react if I do this~?" At that, the girl's hands lashed out, latching onto his sides before giving them a few, tender squeezes.

Relaxing was a mistake on Dan Heng's part. He should've foreseen this happening. Before he knew it, he was overtaken by yelps and uncontrollable laughter.

"AAH! M-Mahaharch! AHAH-!" The stoic, composed man's laughter was nearly music to March 7th's ears! It was almost like hearing a new song and you didn't know how you've lived life without it all this time. "C-cuhuhut it ohout! CUT IT OHOUT!" Dan Heng turned around to try and stop the shorter assailant's tickly attack on his sides, though March was quick to recover. She slipped her hands underneath his long coat, her nimble fingers wedging themselves under his arms to feverishly scribble and dig at the hollows of his armpits.

As much as Dan Heng attempted to writhe and wiggle away, March kept herself fixed on him. She couldn't help but giggle along, taking in the new sight of the bright smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"I don't know why I didn't think of tickling you sooner!" She beamed, her fingers trailing down to dig into the divots between the other's ribs, causing him to practically howl with laughter. "I guess I never pegged you as the ticklish type. Oh, how wrong I was~"

"EHEHAHAH-! M-Maharch, PLEHEASE- D-dohonon't!"

Dan Heng felt his cheeks grow warm from this humiliating display. He felt his legs buckle from under him. He leaned back onto the shelves behind him for support, but he felt himself slowly slipping down to the floor. Much to his relief, March's fingers lost their hold on him, and before long, she was standing over him as he was lightly heaving for air to fill his lungs. The smile once forced on his features began to fall back into its impassive state. The Astral Express's guard couldn't help but glance up at her, his cheeks flushed a hue of pink from laughing so much.

March merely grinned down at him, pleased with herself.

"I guess all my work paid off, huh? Now, I can get you to smile and even laugh on a whim!" She giggled in amusement. At that, Dan Heng tore his gaze away from her. While he felt somewhat nervous from March's comment, he can't say he hated the experience... Maybe he wouldn't mind it again at some other point, so long as it wasn't a spectacle for the others working for the Astral Express to see.

Despite these thoughts, the man gave a final sigh with a shake of his head.

"Whatever." He replied flatly.

[altocat]

That Sephiroth is a normal dude that becomes a librarian AU is actually perfect for meeting Genesis later on lol.

...I have too many feelings about this lmao

Sephiroth is too content and distracted in life to notice when people are attracted to him. His only real aims are pleasing his parents and tending to his lovely collection of rare texts and research materials.

He's even considering writing a book himself someday! An encyclopedia of various constellations, or maybe even his own science fiction adventure.

His sexuality was an unexplored mystery to him, as was his acquaintance with love in general...until him.

Sephiroth is perusing the columns of the library's lower chamber when he spots the smug-faced auburn-haired man strolling casually about, a confident swagger in every step as he makes his way directly towards the poetry section.

At first, Sephiroth is unperturbed, noticing only when the same man keeps returning day after day, week after week. Most of the time, he comes alone. Sometimes with a dark-haired man his own age. Sometimes just to lounge around in the comfortable sofas on the upper level, always smirking and flipping through the pages as if savoring a fancy meal.

He always checks out the same book--some old pretentious text that Sephiroth finds less than digestible. Loveless. Sephiroth privately wonders why the man doesn't just go out and buy his own copy, always glancing over at him from across the stack of texts on his desk, silently annoyed, silently confused.

The man seems insufferably arrogant, swaying and strutting about as if he were a walking god among them, glancing knowingly over at Sephiroth from the corner of his eye, lips curling, almost taunting.

Sephiroth is not a violent man, and has always considered himself rather subdued and introverted. This is the first time he ever considers randomly strangling another human being.

It isn't until nearly a year has passed that they finally, finally speak to each other. Sephiroth is innocently cleaning up his desk when the redhead strides over and slams a hand down on the table in a way that echoes across the entire library. Sephiroth nearly jumps out of his skin, startled, perplexed and a little infuriated.

"Hey," the man purrs, leaning challengingly forward. "Let's get out of here."

"We close at four," Sephiroth murmurs shakily, leaning back, unexpectedly alarmed as the heat rushes down his neck and spine, his face flushing.

"So I'll wait."

"I'm busy."

"I'll wait."

"M-Mother's expecting me."

A snort of amusement. "You still live with your mom?"

"Erm...no." Sephiroth squirms. "But I often visit after..." He trails off, caught in the glinting glare of the man's piercing that dangles in the light, the smooth expanse of alabaster skin, all lithe, lean limbs and firm muscle. He feels momentarily sick, dizzy, his once composed and controlled tongue spiraling, the words strained and stupid. "...I'm busy," he finishes lamely.

The man just stares at him, smirks.

Sephiroth squirms again.

"See you at four."

As the man strolls confidently away, Sephiroth is left to goggle dazedly after him, feeling suddenly lost in the dull and dusty air around him, cursing himself, feeling decidedly disoriented, disgusted.

And intrigued.

He curses himself again, tries to rub the redness from his skin, swats at the stack of books in frustration, pulls at his hair and panics.

And meets Genesis outside at 3:30.

They are terrible, terrible creatures together forever after.