#controversial of me maybe perhaps??? idk

[ssolessurvivor]

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 from finnick

memes - always accepting! - @legeandary (long description in the tags lol sorry!)

It was no surprise that the opinions of Logan's particular Games win were still debated even years later. His eyes were still haunted by those last few hours, even, so he couldn't blame other victors and even spectators from flinging their foul words at him, intent to sting. He let them as a way of self preservation, really, even if it seemed backwards in thinking.

If he let them cast their words like stones, they wouldn't do anything physical. And that's the last thing he wanted.

What he wasn't expecting, however, was for Finnick to step between himself and some folk deeming Logan unworthy enough of any kind word or sentiment. His scars branded him for life, but there seemed to be a few people who deemed him somewhat worthy of respect. When the offenders decided now was the time to bow out beneath Finnick's strong gaze, as piercing as those tridents he wields so effortlessly, Logan allows their gazes to meet when the other turns back towards him.

"Thank you." It's the least he can do, and good manners, to offer thanks. But he quickly runs a hand through his hair to mask his nerves. "Y-you didn't have to do that."

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-Four

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors note: I’m here:) finally. It’s been a while, idk how long, not that long but long enough i guess, sorry for the wait! This one is wordy but also has a lot going on, so hope you enjoy!

Ngl, this can probably be read as a standalone if anyone’s seeing this and not started the series, it’s just a bit angsty and mostly smut? But unsure, I said probably! X

Warnings: Arguing, usual Matty and Mouse thinking (feels like it needs its own warning at this point, they’re saddos), smut, unprotected sex, EMOTIONS (because yeah)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

There was something raw in the bitterness that was love. Like the sour skin of an apple that was first thought to be sweet. Love was deceiving in itself really, but it was never alone. It brought life and light. It wrought anger. It stirred both jealousy and pity. It gave and gave, until all you were left with was that tart tang aftertaste. 

Some people revelled in it.

Others, withered away.

Years before, perhaps maybe not even that long ago now, Matty would have belonged to the former. He had enjoyed the strings he found that could tie him to people, sex and money had given him the ability to do it, to keep them there, to pull them alongside him. And he’d indulged in it all, beyond what most would consider extortionate. 

And still, even after everything, when the fun had ended and the games had been discarded, and he’d just been tossed off somewhere to the side… Alone once more. He had continued on. On and on and on, until he ultimately had lost himself completely.

The last few months had shifted something in him though.

And now here he was, still angry and bitter and resentful. But full of actual love. The raw type. The kind that left you marvelling at the most stupid things— insipid little concepts that held no actual value or any real detail worth getting all starry-eyed over.

It had wormed its way into the hollow shell that was his heart and rebuilt some part of him that he believed he had long since destroyed.

He wanted to scoff at the very thought. The very idea that an emotion could be felt so strongly that it differed the world around you; that, singularly, it could change you. The notion was far too complex, too out there to even begin to fathom, but then again, Matty supposed that emotions were exactly that. Complex.

It sent his mind reeling. Had his entire body aching with a fever to expel the feeling completely, if only so that he could think freely again, so it wouldn’t hurt to merely breathe anymore.

You should have told me.

He knew that. He had admitted as much.

And yet, he still hadn’t told her.

He’d lied.

Why didn’t you tell me?

And that was the question, wasn’t it? Why hadn’t he just told her?

Fear, he guessed.

Yet another morbid emotion in which Matty had always been so wary of. Another lost feeling he thought he’d swallowed whole and hidden somewhere deep down. Because there was no fear in a drug induced haze. When you were off partying or chasing some other euphoric high. What the fuck was there to be fearful of? When the chilling buzz which shook you to your very core blanketed over everything else.

When there was always that silence.

That numb quiet he had chased and craved and cherished.

Though, he supposed, it was nothing compared to the fear of losing this.

Of losing her.

Still, Matty could not for the life of him find it in himself to tell her exactly that. Those words lost on him, lodged in the column of his throat and etching themselves a home there.

“Where do we go from here?”

He blinked at the sound of his own voice, looking up at her shadowed expression and at how tired she then seemed. How different she now looked compared to the moment they’d first met. 

She’d been something of a presence even then. Always effortlessly complex. With her soft smile and guarded eyes. Eyes he’d gone and fucking wondered about for hours on end.

Those eyes which were now caught on the far wall stood opposite, the one lined with coloured photo frames and that odd little doodle Teddy had gotten in trouble for only a couple of weeks prior. 

The realisation made Matty mourn the few days they’d spent apart.

After a long moment, she finally shrugged at him and he found himself swallowing tightly at the movement. Startled by her seeming lack of care. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Squeaks.” 

It was honest. As honest as he could be.

She huffed an amused breath in return though, “Not like you’re short on company, Matty.”

He felt his gaze snap up to meet hers then, head shifting with it. 

“What’s that even meant to mean?” He asked her, frowning now, at the way she had crossed her arms over her chest and how her shoulders had hunched on their own accord whilst she casually moved to glance out the window. Matty forced himself up onto his feet, hating the fact she had turned away from him.

“I saw everything, Matty.” Mouse replied tiredly, as though she was fed up, fed up with this, with them. “I saw the articles.”

Matty’s stomach bottomed out at her words, he stepped towards her. “Nothing happened.” He murmured, taking another step closer. “Nothing fucking happened, Squeaks. I swear it.”

She tensed but didn’t quite flinch at his sudden approach, so he kept a little distance between them, even as desperate as he was to hold her. To shake her enough so that she would see sense, that she’d realise how stupid he would have had to have been to have gone near anyone else. That girl was no one, she’d meant nothing. 

“You can swear that, can you?” She mocked him, one corner of her mouth toying with a merciless smile that didn’t quite suit her. “You were gone, Matty. Fucking out of it. That much was clear to see just from the photos alone.”

Matty stared at her helplessly.

She shook her head.

“I’d had a couple drinks. That isn’t a crime!” He stressed, automatically falling onto the defensive, “Didn’t mean I was stupid enough to get with the first person I fucking saw! That girl- she was off her head too. Had mates with her even! But she was just trying to help me, Mouse. That’s all it was.” 

She was shaking her head again now, tongue catching on her incisor; a dead giveaway to how stressed she was, how anxious she was getting. Matty only wished to shoulder it all, that defensiveness of his faltering slightly at the sight of her trying to hide it all. To stay strong. How fucking long had she had to do that?

“I feel like such a fool, Matty.” She finally spoke, her voice trembling with the onslaught of tears that glazed her eyes but she didn’t dare let fall. “A fucking fool. ‘Cause I’d thought that things were okay, that we were okay. That I could finally relax and let you in. But then-“ She paused, a sad huff leaving her, “Then you went and dropped this mess in my lap and somehow expected me to just deal with it. To tell you it’s all fine. That we could make it right.”

Mouse turned then, ever so slowly, looking about as defeated as Matty had ever seen her. He felt his chest burn with the last breath he hadn’t remembered taking let alone hold onto, too afraid to look away, to even move. 

“But you embarrassed me. You’ve made the whole world believe I am that fool. That I was as naive as they’d first made me out to be. As my friends thought me to be.” 

Her smile was shattered and broken, her voice wet and hoarse, but she continued on even as her hands fell limply to her sides and she took a single step closer.

“And to make things worse, you didn’t just hurt me, Matty. You hurt Teddy too.”

–

Hit them where it hurts.

That was the saying, wasn’t it?

But it only left me feeling all the more sour- gutless. As well as a little stupid, I supposed, wondering if Matty even cared for Teddy at all, or how he had felt the last couple days.

Though I shouldn’t have second guessed it, not when the way Matty’s face immediately paled and then fell proved me wrong. 

Deep down, I knew that he cared. In his own odd way he had always cared. But to know it and to see it were two entirely different things.

And although it was true, that Matty had in fact hurt Teddy. It still felt like a shitty thing to say to him then. But he’d hurt me as well, hadn’t he. And even though I’d been hurting most of my life, Matty being the reason for all that hurt pained me in a way I couldn’t even comprehend. 

“I didn’t-”

I scoffed at his attempted reply, but my heart wasn’t in it, breaking all over again. I wondered how long we could drag this out. If we even would.

“Mean to?” I finished for him, shaking my head stupidly. “I know you didn’t mean to, Matty. Doesn’t change the fact that you still did it.”

His eyes slipped closed just as his lips fell apart, and when he opened them again I was stuck staring into his devastated gaze. 

“If I could take it all back, I would.” He breathed, “I promise you I would.”

I swallowed back my own tears, even as they burned and pricked at my throat and eyes. “But you can’t.”

And it was as simple as that, wasn’t it? He couldn’t ever take it back. 

I don’t want to lose you.

He knew just how to get under my skin, past all that rusted armour of mine.

It was what made this all so much harder. 

“Tell me what to do, Squeaks.” Matty croaked pleadingly, hand reaching out towards me before he looked down at it, blinked, and then let it fall. “I’ll do it, just– tell me.”

What was left that he could do? When it felt like things had so suddenly and so horrifically fallen out from under us.

“I don't know.” I told him honestly, in a barely there whisper, “I just don't know, Matty.”

He stepped even closer then, hand moving to capture my jaw in a determined haste, not restraining himself like he had just moments before. I tried to pull away, titling my chin and looking off to the side as I clenched my teeth, but his thumb was there, luring me back in, forcing me to meet his eye.

“I’m not just gonna give up.” His other hand jumped to cradle my face, a cushion to those heated words. 

I was reluctant in my needless wanting, desperate to be held whilst simultaneously wanting to push him away. So I lifted my hands up to cover his own, unsure of the choice they’d make. To stay, or go.

“It’s not about that, Matty.” I heard myself say pathetically, voice wavering with each word, “You can’t just forget this.”

His dark eyes were trained on me, flickering over every square inch of my scarred face. I’d never felt insecure about them when I was around him, but this moment felt too heated, too high strung. And I’d been burning the candle at both ends the last few days, so with him being this close, this intense, every emotion I’d felt was brimming closer and closer to the surface. 

Instead of facing him, I turned away, hiding once more as I worked my jaw and felt my hands slip down to the backs of his forearms.

A shared breath and then,

“Don’t do that.” Matty whispered in the quiet, almost begging. “Don’t hide from me.”

His thumb smoothed over the skin of my cheek and I was all but putty in hands, looking back at him just as a tear escaped me and slid to meet the pad of it. 

Matty brushed the tear away without thought, before he leant in to rest his forehead against my own. The action forced me to cling tighter to his arms, eyes closing to keep from embarrassing myself any further. I wouldn’t cry. 

I wouldn’t cry.

“Look at me.” He demanded, nose so close that I could practically sense its phantom touch. And foolishly, I did as he asked. “You-” His breath stuttered as his eyes pleaded with me, sounding forced as it broke free from him, his fingers making a home for themselves in my hair. 

“You don’t know what you do to me. How much of a mess I’ve made of myself. How much I have missed you.” Matty confessed, his voice quiet in the small space shared between us, in a place where we were both sheltered and unseen. “And I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry. Enough that I’ll keep on repeating it until you fucking believe me. Enough that I’d do just about anything for you to see how much I want this.”

He sucked in a breath, and I blinked back at him, lips tingling with the sensation of his proximity. 

“I know I messed up. I know.” He repeated, eyes flickering back and forth between my own whilst his thumbs trailed the line of my hair. “But all I’m asking for is a chance to make it right. To be better. Squeaks, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if I could.”

His breath was tickling the skin of my cheek as well as the corner of my mouth, it almost made it difficult to think let alone remember how to breathe. I wanted–

Suddenly my eyes were looking down, focused on his parted mouth, on the stubble he’d let grow across the cut of his chin as well as his upper lip. His nose finally brushed past my own, touching ever so carefully as one or both of us pressed nearer, almost there, inching closer but not close enough.

“Tell me no.” 

Instantly, I was thrown back to that first night he kissed me. I hadn’t told him no then, and for some reason I couldn’t find it in me to decline him now. 

So instead I took, all but biting as my hand cradled the back of his neck and closed that short amount of distance between us. My nails dug into the exposed skin of his nape, where the collar of his shirt jumped with each move he made. My teeth nipped at his lower lip, angry in my attempt to swallow him whole, teeth clashing as we both stumbled, moving and moving until Matty’s back hit the nearest wall.

How the roles had reversed, I thought to myself as Matty’s shoulders flexed beneath his shirt and jumped under my ever roaming hands. I hated the desire that it stirred through me, knowing how easily he could take back control with his carefully contained strength. But he didn’t, instead he gave my fury something to latch onto.

My hand lifted to pin one of his wrists somewhere to the left of his head, glare not wavering even as his stubborn gaze met my own. He was as riled up as me.

“You have some nerve.” I all but spat, watching on as his chest rose and fell, questioning how quickly everything had switched.

“Yeah?” Matty bit back, those familiar brown eyes- a colour that had always brought me comfort- were blazing now as they trailed over the flush that I was sure lined my face. “Why’s that? You’re the one with me pinned, darlin’.” 

His heavy gaze traced the bow of my lip, slumping ever slightly in his stance so that his head could fall closer forward. My breath hitched.

That was all he needed apparently, to earn the upper hand here. Because in a moment, the room was spinning and then I was the one being crowded against the wall, fury be damned.

Contrary to my previous endeavour, Matty’s touch was still as careful as ever, making it that much more obvious that I could slip away if I so wanted. But the question was whether or not I did.

“Matty–”

But he just carried on, as though he hadn’t even heard me speak, voice a low breathy murmur. 

“I’ve been stuck in this endless loop. Driving myself mad.” He told me, his knee angled enough so that he could let his head dip towards the juncture of my neck, his mouth pausing by the shell of my ear whilst a finger gently trailed its way up over my hip. “Wonderin’ if I’d lost this for good.”

My heart pounded in my chest as the ghost of his words tickled my skin, tensing when his nose ever so slightly grazed my jaw. 

That finger of his continued to move, working its way up my torso, jumping across my ribs and up to the bone of my collar. My gaze was fixed on the opposing wall, on the mirror that framed my dazed face and the back of his head. My hand worked its way into his unruly curls.

“But you’re as stubborn as me, see.” Matty added, luring me in, “And I’m not the type to give up on a sure thing.” His words held enough bite that I snapped back to meet his stare, he tilted his head at me whilst I scowled.

“Excuse me?”

Matty smiled, lids heavy as his careful hand danced its way back down my front. 

“And this,” He said, almost in a whisper, ignoring my retort as he hooked my leg around his waist, “This is a sure thing.”

A soft breath escaped me even as I batted his hand away, but he simply reached up to grip at my chin, touch tender even with the way his calloused thumb dragged down my lower lip.

I was slowly beginning to imagine that this was all a dream, something my sick mind had gone and conjured up in hopes to ignore all of the hurt he had put me through. Because this couldn’t be right, things couldn’t have fallen back into place this easily. 

“Matty.” I tried again, firmer this time, but was captured by the look his eyes held, probably having understood the expression that must have just crossed my face.

“What did you do, Squeaks?” He asked me almost hurriedly, shaking my chin between his forefinger and thumb, my previous anger and doubt melting slightly as I leaned further into his touch. “Did you want me to hurt, too?”

I blinked, caught off guard by the sudden question, his swift change in topic. Baffled by the fact that he was now trying to pin this back on me. 

Was that really what this was? I wanted to ask.

Matty didn’t give me the opportunity to say a thing though. My surprise had stalled me briefly, but it had evidently been long enough to allow him to simply carry on.

“What did you do, eh? Tell me.” He breathed before he pressed his mouth to my jaw, once and then twice, pulling away just as I tilted my head to accommodate him, “Did you go out, baby? Find somebody else? Or did you just stay here, waiting for me?”

I reeled back, anger spiking again. “Fuck you.”

Matty’s eyes flickered back and forth between mine. 

“I’m trying to get you to.” He said, always so brazen and snarky, even in the moments where I hated him most. The hand I had previously slapped away went back to the leg he still had draped over his hip, snaking up over my knee and to my thigh. 

My glare didn’t waiver, even as my breathing picked up at the pressure his fingertips wrought on my skin. 

“Tell me no.” He finally repeated, eyes failing to meet mine. And how was I supposed to? When having him this close brought back that fire he’d put out in me, when he was kissing my neck so sweetly?

“We’ll regret it.” It was as close to a no as I could get, enough to have him pause. Matty looked to me then, his hold loosening on my body but still holding. Hoping.

“Do you care?”

I marvelled at the question, did I care?

I cared so much it pained me.

But he hadn’t meant it like that. That much I knew.

Do you care if you regret it? Because, what if you don’t? 

With Matty there was always chance– he was the type to play the odds, to push his luck.

What if.

What if, what if, what if?

Shaking my head, I was forced to question if he understood me as much as I did him. If he could see each of my thoughts just as they dawned on me, flashing across my face like a story being told. 

Then I wondered whether or not I even wanted him to understand. This, this thing we were doing would only further complicate things between us, but perhaps this could be a goodbye.

But, if this was a goodbye, why was he looking at me like that? Watching and waiting for me to truly answer.

Tell me no, he’d said.

Matty’s gaze swept over my face, as though trying to read me, maybe in hopes to find what it was he was really searching for. 

Tell me no.

“Please.”

And my resolve broke at the word.

“Okay.” I heard myself say in reply, nodding quickly, and that was seemingly all the permission he needed before Matty was wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me towards him fully.

My hands floundered momentarily before they were back on his shoulders, his teeth nipping at my neck. 

I moaned, eyes falling shut as he pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses down my skin, teeth scraping before his tongue swirled to soothe their angry ambush. I could smell him everywhere now, the shampoo I was so used to stealing, as well as the only aftershave he’d ever claimed to like.

His hips rolled into mine, pressing himself right against the fabric of my trousers and the underwear which had grown damp during our heated argument. 

I didn’t want to linger too long on the thought of my body’s obvious betrayal, too caught up in him to think about how wrong this should all feel.

“Shit.” Matty groaned, breath catching with it as he continued to grind against me.

I gasped back, grabbing at him harder as he bit down on the curve of my neck. I nipped at his jaw in retaliation, nails digging into the skin of his back, hoping to leave a mark.

“I knew you’d miss me.” He grunted into the base of my throat, the hands which held my waist dipping beneath the hem of my shirt to explore further. “Even when you’re angry you’ll wait. ‘Cause no one else can touch like me.”

A whine bypassed my lips almost involuntarily as he continued to rut against me, I wanted to be angry- no, in fact, I was angry. But all emotion other than want was blurring at the edges of my mind now, being pushed further and further back by each eager kiss he peppered along my jaw.

“You really–” I jerked in surprise, cutting myself off with a short gasp when his hand slipped past the hem of my trousers, fingers pressing against the damp fabric he found there. 

“What was that?” He provoked, and I could hear the smirk in his voice as he trailed over my covered clit, causing me to whimper before I was biting down on my lower lip. Matty didn’t like that much. “Come on, I wanna hear you.” He muttered, pressing a little harder, wanting a reaction. “Tell me.”

“You’re such a bastard.” I panted, head falling against his shoulder as my hips pushed further into his touch, seeking more.

Matty laughed, all breathy and lovely, mouth catching on the lobe of my ear before he hissed, “Yeah, but you like that about me.”

His hand was gone with that and I was almost tempted to ask, to even plead with him for its return, aching all the more now, enough that all I could think about was riding his fingers until I couldn’t think at all. 

But then Matty was grabbing my waist again, his grip hard, firm, and I swallowed when he whispered into my ear once more.

“Jump.”

Without thinking, I jumped. 

We collided, his mouth on mine and the two of us moving as though it was second nature. And in a way, it was. But it shouldn’t have been. I knew that. I tried to remind myself of it. 

He shouldn’t be here.

But he was. Walking his way through my flat with ease, effortlessly missing each sharp corner and the miniscule step which led back into the hallway. He was blind, my hands in his hair as he manoeuvred us into my bedroom, throwing me down onto sheets that he’d never seen, let alone slept in. 

I tugged him down with me, his hands moving to unbutton those fucking jeans he always wore as he worked his way back into my mouth. 

He hovered over me after kicking them off, my head pressed to the pillows as his eyes roamed every inch of my face. “Beautiful.” He whispered, as though he hadn’t really meant to say the word aloud.

My breath hitched anyway but Matty paid it no mind, leaning in closer to kiss me again, slower this time around, though his hands were still quick, tugging at the hem of my top enough so that I got the hint. I lifted myself up, breaking away to take it off and toss it to the side. 

Matty kissed his way down my neck again, following the trail of scars down my torso until his fingers paused to hook around the top of my trousers. I nodded at his silent ask, planting my feet a little firmer on the mattress so that they could follow my tee.

Matty stopped then, kneeling between my parted thighs, eyes caught on the panties I was wearing, and I could swear something in his gaze shifted as he stared down at me. 

“Lace?” He murmured, fingers curling around my thighs tight enough to bruise as he pushed forward, closer to my face. “Really?”

It was a loaded question. Almost felt like an accusation.

I shrugged– I hadn’t meant to end up here, but it hadn’t been subconscious when I’d picked them out of the pile this morning. He liked the way they looked, had told me so one night spent at his when he’d talked me into smoking a couple joints with him sprawled out on his living room floor. 

I opened my mouth to reply but Matty didn’t quite catch the motion, already busying himself with the task of pulling the lace down my thighs. His fingers, calloused from years of playing guitar, dragged alongside the black material rolling down my legs. I tensed at the feeling, zeroing in on the slow motion, then listened to him groan at the sight before they were gone completely.

I watched him pull away, balling the damp fabric up in a fist before leaning over the side of the bed to drop them on top of his jeans. 

“A souvenir?” I couldn’t help but question, mostly out of mirth, but humour helped deflect from the weight I felt at having him here.

Matty hummed, fingers already back on me, trailing the length of my right leg before he was stretching his way back up again, head stopping between my parted thighs and nosing at a crease sat at the very top. He didn’t answer me though, instead choosing to shut me up with another gasp by dragging his thumb across my folds.

“Matty.”

“Hm?” He hummed again, having sat back on his heels to watch me squirm as he continued on. I shot him a rather annoyed glare.

“Take off your shirt and fuck me.” 

His brows rose languidly when he flicked his eyes back up to meet mine, then tilted his head. “But I’m having so much fun.”

With a swift kick to his side, Matty’s hand fell away and he shook his head around the beginnings of a smile. “Always so demanding.” He tutted and before I could spit something back– probably about him being the biggest hypocrite I knew– he was placing his hands either side of my head and leaning forward so that his lips were right beside my ear, his breath fanning the shell of it. “You gonna beg for it?”

My breathing grew heavy as I watched him pull away, dragging a finger up the inside of my thigh before stilling ever so briefly and venturing on, up over my hip and then my ribs. He pressed a slow kiss to my chest, eyes flicking up to find mine as his tongue swirled over the skin, there and then gone.

“Come on–”

He huffed a quiet laugh, the force of it lighting goosebumps over my exposed flesh. “Come on, baby. Beg.”

I rolled my eyes, reaching up to grab at his neck but he was already dancing out of my reach. He jutted his chin. 

“Matty.” I huffed.

“Yeah?”

I really wanted to throttle him, “Fuck me. I’m not asking.”

The corner of his mouth tugged itself up into a small smirk, “Good enough.”

A disbelieving chuckle escaped me, one which was quickly cut short by his wandering hands finding purchase on my hips once more, before he dragged me down the length of the bed, his mouth finding purchase on the swell of my breast.

He pressed fast kisses along the curve of it until his tongue flicked out over the nipple, causing me to gasp. My hands flew out to tangle themselves in his hair when he lapped it into his mouth to suck and I groaned at the weight of his hands cradling the curve of my back. 

“Matty.”

He hummed and the sound sent vibrations rippling out across my skin, I fisted my hands into his curls harder.

Shifting until my hips found his whilst he lavished at my chest, I pressed up into him, both annoyed by the fact he was still clad in his boxers and pleased by the very visible wet patch I could see. I ground against him and the sensation elicited moans from the pair of us, his hands flying down to hold my hips steady.

“Patience.” He murmured, but I was having none of it, lifting a leg against his arse to spur him closer. Matty’s head jerked up at the surprise before he looked down at me and stared. “You’ll be the death of me.”

“You better hope not.” I replied, hands finding the hem of his shirt and dragging it off before he could fight me on it. “I’ll make it painful.”

“Counting on it.” Matty murmured back, hair now a mess, either from the clutch I’d had on it moments before or from the way I’d all but yanked his top over his head. “On all fours,” He said roughly, tapping my outer thigh twice. My already flushed skin heated further at the understanding of how he wanted to take me but– contrary to popular belief– I didn’t argue and rolled onto my stomach.

Palms to the sheets, I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, eyes trained on the headboard. I grinned to myself when I heard Matty groan at the sight, looking back over my shoulder only briefly to see him palming himself through his boxers.

“Don’t have all day, Healy.” I prompted after a moment passed, just before the mattress shifted beneath his weight. I heard something drop to the floor a second later before he was right up behind me.

I jolted a tad at his sudden touch, then was forced to focus on the way his hands slid over my hips with that same familiarity they’d always done, moving up to the swell of my arse to squeeze it before dropping back down to spread my legs further apart.

A moment passed and I was forced to wait in the silence he then gifted me, waiting and waiting until I finally went to say something. It was then that I felt a finger glide down my spine, dragging ever so slowly over my jumping muscles. 

“Hands,” Matty then reminded and I was forced to blink away the haze I had drifted into, reaching up to grab onto the headboard just as I felt him swipe his dick between my thighs, guiding himself up over my folds, pushing past them so he rested at my entrance. 

I let go of a rush of air, splaying my hands further against the headboard before he slammed into me without any warning at all, all the way up to the hilt whilst I cried out at the sudden fullness. “Fuck.” I hissed, head falling between my shoulders as I winced. 

I breathed through the bit of pain that came with the thrust, acknowledging that Matty didn’t move an inch and instead keeping still, hands holding my hips even as he leaned over to whisper, “You good?”

His voice was surprisingly soft in the quietness that encased the flat, reminding me of other times we’d spent here, both like this and in other odd moments. It made my chest ache.

I took another moment to adjust to him before I nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

He hummed in turn but didn’t question it, just waited, thumbs circling the skin on my hips for a moment in a manner so gentle and yet so very Matty, before finally, he moved. 

His thrusts were shallow and slow at first, his thumbs keeping the same steady tempo as they continued to soothe the tops of my hips. I moaned at the feel of him, before I managed to roll my hips back to meet his own, enjoying the sound that escaped him.

“So good.” He said, hand sliding further up my side and towards my ribs before I was titling my head back and Matty was holding a fistful of my hair. He just held it for a bit, forearm pressed against the skin of my back before his thrusts began to grow harder, tugging more and more.

The room was quickly filled with the sounds of our groans along with the bedframe rocking against the wall and I praised all the Gods above for the fact that there were currently no neighbours residing in the flat beyond it, before I was quickly swept up once more in the thick scent of sweat and sex. Matty fucking into me with a desperation I’d never quite experienced from him before.

I panted beneath him, nails digging into the wood of my headboard whilst he picked up the pace.

I couldn’t quite focus on anything but him. His breathy whispers, his fingertips which dotted my skin, the feel of him rocking in and out of me. It was almost as though nothing else existed but this moment, even if I knew it would soon end. His thrusts getting sloppier, his grip tightening, his murmured praises increasing by a tenfold. 

“Come on, baby.”

I liked when he called me that.

Made me feel special. 

But that thought soon soured. Because, was I really? 

How could I be anything special when my whole life I’d been nothing but a doormat for people to walk all over? I couldn’t help but think that Matty would be the same, like he’d gotten too close and finally seen what everybody else already had.

“Squeaks, baby. What do you need?”

I whimpered at his ask, tears collecting in the corners of my eyes. “I–”

What the fuck did I need? It wasn’t meant to feel so loaded, that question. But it felt as though the walls were now closing in. Because was this it? Was this the end?

“I–” I tried, feeling Matty’s fingers slip from the ends of my hair before a gentle palm laid itself flat on the small of my back.

“So good for me.” I heard him say and I moaned at the slight praise, breathing harder as he continued to mumble mostly to himself, “So pretty. So good.”

I was almost there, back arching under his palm as the other moved away from the right grasp it held on my hip, fingers finally finding my clit, knowing exactly what I needed.

“Yes.” I panted as the combination of his hard thrusts and steady hand sent my head into a dizzying pool of water, “God, yes. I–”

I think I screamed as I came, his fingers working deftly whilst mine clung to the headboard, body trembling as I fought to keep myself up. But Matty was there, holding me long enough so that he could reach his high and pull out with a loud grunt, coating my inner thighs. 

We stayed there for, I don’t know how long, until he finally released me, falling away whilst I slumped forward onto the pillows before us. He followed a second later, still catching his breath as he stared up at the ceiling. I watched him, eyes hidden behind my forearm and a sprawl of hair that had fallen over my face, content to soak in what I could of him. What I had left.

Then Matty shifted beside me, I half expected him to get up and leave with some half-arsed excuse on the tip of his tongue, but he paused when he caught my heavy gaze. I let my eyes trail over the side of face, on the tired circles settled beneath his lash line and the slope of his nose.

He looked back towards the ceiling.

“You got your souvenir, remember?” I found myself saying, stupidly, voice just above a croaked murmur, “Don’t let me keep you.”

Quiet. And then, “Do you want me to?”

I knew what he meant, but still I asked, “Want what?”

Matty’s head slowly turned towards me, eyes guarded and peering over at my devastated form. I wondered what he made of me right then, if he thought anything at all. 

When he offered me no words, I refused to add anything either and felt what was left of my heart crumple up into a pitiful bundle when he pushed himself to the edge of a bed with a barely there sigh.

The air in my lungs caught as I watched and waited, eyes trailing after him as he rounded the bed frame to pick up his discarded boxers. I let them slip closed again, not wanting to watch him leave. 

I listened to his feet pad across the hardwood floors and out of the room. My chest ached with every step but I didn’t dare stop him, burying my face further into my pillow. 

I laid in wait for the front door to open, for there to be a clue to his evident departure, but then the footsteps returned. I didn’t dare give myself false hope, knowing he must have forgotten something to have come back. But the padding continued, closer and closer until they were back by the bed and I held my breath as it creaked, my eyes stinging just as I felt a warm damp cloth press against my inner thighs, wiping me clean.

I choked on the sob that wanted to escape me and the cloth paused for a split second before venturing on. I waited, wondering why he was doing this, why he was dragging it out.

Just leave already.

But then the cloth was pulling away again, and the bed was creaking again, and the tears, they wouldn’t stop. 

Stay. 

Please just stay.

I gasped into the pillowcase, stomach tensing with the strength to keep quiet. To let him leave quietly. 

I wouldn’t cry.

And then there was quiet, at least for a moment or two, before the bed dipped once more and there was a hand in my hair, combing the strands from out of my face and tucking them behind my ear.

When I opened my eyes, he was still there. Dressed and ready to go, but still sitting there beside me. Whilst I laid bare, curled up into a ball to better protect myself from his knowing gaze.

Suddenly everything hurt. Suddenly I felt exhausted and was falling apart at the seams.

Matty moved carefully, stretching toward the foot of the bed before returning with the sheet to cover me up, laying it gently over my trembling shoulders. He leaned in to press a slow kiss to my forehead and then went to move away again.

My hand caught his wrist.

And then I was flat out sobbing. Hysterical even. Crying into the pillow almost soundlessly as I gasped to try and catch my breath. Because I wanted him to stay. I needed him to stay.

Not just for me. But for Teddy. And for the life he brought into my dreary flat. To the kindness he never failed to gift me.

I needed him to stay.

I needed him.

I opened my mouth to ask, to let him know. But I could hardly even bear to look at him, blurred as he was through my onslaught of tears, Matty still held the key to all but destroying what little I had left.

His hand returned to my hair, fingers tangling themselves in it, a sudden contrast to the rough grip they’d held there earlier. And then he settled further onto the bed, back pressed against the headboard whilst he continued to run his fingers through my hair.

The tears still flowed but the sobs came less and less, until I was blinking at his shadowed figure in the dark, holding out hope that somehow he’d just know and he’d stay. 

[dorims]

What kinks do u think Roman has?

I just know they’re weird (and I’d still be into them)

so if i have to be honest, ive never really thought about roman's kinks 🥲 HOWEVER you know how he shamed tom for swallowing back his cum after tabs sucked him off?? yeah he's definitely into that and you can't tell me otherwise.

and without further ado! a little brainstorm under the cut <3

tags. VERY SUGGESTIVE, MDNI, an overall masochistic vibe, degradation/praise, allusions to cheating, impact play, mentions of roman's low self-esteem

a/n. psa im not familiar with writing smut and if i gotta be honest im pretty vanilla myself so...do with that what you will LMFAO

masochism

hes a masochist, we been knew

its pretty much the central theme of these hcs too

degradation/praise

so definitely degradation bc its roman, cmon. but for some reason i cant help but think that he's really into being praised too?

could be wrong but i feel like he'd only let himself be praised after he's developed a solid bond with his partner, and it'd probably go from being degraded to a mix of degradation and praise to full praise in some occasions.

if theres not a smooth transition i feel like he would panic and shut himself out. like it feels too intimate or smth.

cuckolding (controversial)

i think he would like it bc it hurts. like his partner sleeping with someone else is kind of like a slap to the face

a situation that has him constantly thinking 'I'm not enough' and that kind of hurt i think he gets off on bc masochism <3

but thats only maybe with the condition he somehow gets the chance to prove to himself and to you that he is better than the person you're sleeping with

OR he's into 'pseudo-cuckolding' so he likes the idea that you COULD go and sleep with someone but you dont, kinda like what happened with grace and the server

SO MAYBE IM WRONG and he would actually hate this but you know, im trynna brainstorm

phone sex (is this even a kink?)

only the sound of your voice and his,

kinda like the romangerri situation LMFAO

because think about it, this way you dont have to actually see him. that would comfort him in some way because of his low self-esteem and self-image issues. that way you can picture anything you want and not be disappointed with the real thing, you know?

i also think that phone sex (or bathroom door sex????) would help him open up until he grows comfortable enough in the intimacy the two of you are building

love how this are supposed to be smut hcs yet im making them slightly angsty

impact play

i think this might be a little self-explanatory, but yes, getting hit in a sexual context turns him on

only when he is receiving ofc

dom/sub dynamics

he's a massive sub and no one can tell me otherwise

its literally on the show TT

ANYWAY, he's probably bratty at first but then just gives in to your every demand because he aims to please

still likes to get on your nerves though, like a lot and i think thats because even when he's been an annoying piece of shit in bed you still take care of him and that reinforces, in his head, that, sure he's being unbearable but that doesn't take away the fact that you care for him and love him, ya know?

also, he would probably call you mommy/daddy at first jokingly but the it kinda sticks??

freud would have a field day with roman roy

OOC BUT FUN TO THINK ABOUT: vanilla sex

hear me out, ik roman's character is pretty much the personification of the words 'kinky mf' but idk

i think vanilla sex would suit roman SOO much. i think for roman to reach the point of having sex with ANYONE there needs to be a established foundation of trust and respect and perhaps love too

and i know sex doesn't necessarily mean love, but we are talking about a man who's definition of love is pain - like love HAS to hurt for it to be love - and undoubtedly he would twist his perception of sex to fit that same definition of love because love is a branch of intimacy and so is sex, you feel me?

i just feel like it would show roman another side of intimacy. all gentle and kind and giggly sex and intimacy doesn't necessarily have to hurt for it to feel good.

like imagine just plain vanilla sex and its banter and laughter and quips and help me lol

vanilla sex and aftercare would solve all his problems, i said what i said /hj

[viking-raider]

Slap me with controversy! But I like Henry as Sherlock.

There's something about his acting as Holmes. Esp in the Second one. Perhaps it's finally getting to see him do comedy. He doesn't feel stiff and there's no serious scenes dominated by fighting. He actually gets to speak. He sorta of feels like he did, when he played Charles Brandon. But we do get to see that protective figure, we get and love in Geralt and Ciri, in Sherlock and Enola. There's that bit of August Walker too, without the whole, end of the world, agenda.

Idk. Maybe I'm just silly.

[persephoneprice]

i see that YOU wanna be bothered too and that you're a d4 enthusiast like me (they're my pookies!!) soooo what's your thoughts on the hc that annie was a career?? 🤭🎤

omg first of all thank you for sending this also i just saw your header and that’s such a slay

this is SUCH a good question and i know it’s so controversial so this is just my personal take!! i totally understand why people might think it’s wrong-

but i do believe that annie was a career and volunteered for the games. i think all victors are damaged from their games in a way and annie is just a different (perhaps more extreme?) example of the affects of being in the arena.

the thing is, you can have all the training in the world- but nothing really prepares you for that kind of violence. especially not seeing your district partner, someone you knew, being decapitated. that is extremely heavy and traumatizing to witness even for someone who volunteered for it. and yes, maybe most careers wouldn’t be impacted by that to the extent that by the human brain is a weird thing and all people react differently.

i saw someone make the comparison between soldiers signing up to join the military and still coming out deeply traumatized by what they saw and i think that’s a pretty good example. you can know what you’re getting into, you can train, you can do whatever- but you’re never truly 100% prepared to go through something like that.

in my opinion, that actually makes her a much more interesting- and no less sympathetic- character! i think a lot of people don’t want to associate annie (and even finnick i see a lot) with being “careers” because the careers are associated with being the bad guys and no one wants their faves to be the bad guys. but the careers were not evil/bad people- they were brainwashed children. but that’s another rant for another day.

so yeah idk if any of that even made sense but basically:

yes, annie is a heavily traumatized- but real- career.

[cloveroctobers]

SHELTER — E.BUCKLEY | sept. prompts !

A/N: okay I failed myself in saying I wouldn’t fall victim to being in love with Buck…sorry Eddie. I also did say I was going to write for Eddie too in my other sept. prompt but when you do dives on tiktok they always provide the tea/controversy so idk rn lol maybe,,,maybe not! if you catch my drift—it’s giving thee ick. Anyways here’s some fluff! I’ve been binge-watching the show for awhile now ( I occasionally watched it from time to time when it was live on tv) from the beginning and I’m currently half way through season five and don’t want to get to season six just yet since who knows when the next season will be. I’m looking at you companies who feel like it’s okay to take advantage of people :) 🖕🏾

Prompts are from here + I’m using: 22.) Misty morning at the beach + 23.) Cold night cuddles + 29.) Rain storm

WARNINGS: mentions of mental health + hints of SAD, mentions of cults, mentions of death, slight language, protectiveness + fluff.

*GIF AND PHOTO DO NOT BELONG TO ME!

˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾

there was something about September’s that never sat right with Amaryllis, “Lissy.” It always brought nothing but gloom along with dread to her entire being and perhaps it had to do with her upbringing (was it the fact that her father was also born in September?) that set the chemicals off in her brain; even if she didn’t intentionally think about it. It always happened around this time but Lissy knew what it was physically but learned to push it away especially when the disappearance of Maddie came to surface.

And when she returned to Buck’s place spotting the purple bruise that took up a good portion of his eye, she also stuffed this dull feeling further away although it almost always still lingered no matter how much she shooed it away. When she witnessed the harm done to Buck, her instinct was to immediately go after the person who gave that to Buck. Her gut feeling was telling her that this didn’t come from work, of course it could have (being a old fire fighter herself) if things went left on the job but Lissy’s seen enough wounds in her life to know this was blunt force inflicted by someone else.

Her fiancé couldn’t lie for anything, trying his best to dodge her brown eyes and move around the house but once someone brought anguish to her man, a fire bubbled in her chest. She was always ready to protect despite knowing Buck’s impulsive behavior, she was already pointing the finger at someone else. Until she learned it came from Chimney, which made her stand frozen at the top of the steps that led to Buck’s bedroom.

“I’m sorry, who?” Lissy had her eyes in slits, making sure what she heard was right.

Buck peered down at his folded hands as he took a seat on the edge of the bed, “It was Chimney, okay? He found out that I knew more than he did about Maddie and he didn’t take it so well.”

“…I understand being frustrated but taking it out on you is not okay.”

Buck held his head down as he whispered, “Maybe I should have been more vocal about what Maddie was going through…then maybe just maybe my sister would be here right now.”

Lissy bit down on her bottom lip harshly. She also knew about Maddie’s mishap with Jee-Yun when Buck told her one night—just venting and she didn’t say anything to Chimney either, her concern was also just trying to talk to Maddie and check in with her but unfortunately that was not enough. If Chimney knew this would he have taken his anger out on Lissy too? Regardless Lissy was the type of person to always have her guard up with a smile yet she was also good friends with Chimney, he was a great friend but she wouldn’t lie and say she also wasn’t pissed with him right now.

She was just itching to call him up or pull up on him to give him a piece of her mind too. Lissy knew what mountains of pain can do to you and sometimes you don’t react the way that you should, which is why she tried her best to swallow her anger so that she could comfort the man she gets to call her husband some day.

“We don’t know that,” Lissy starts as she steps to Buck to grip his warm face, “because Maddie is going through a dark space and she wants to figure it out on her own, without us, when she doesn’t have to but felt like that was her best option for her and Jee. Sure we absolutely could have mentioned it to Chimney but Maddie is always going to seek help the best way she knows how. That’s just how she is, we know that and it’s not any of our faults or her’s. Life is hard sometimes…even harder when your head is against you opposed to your heart…and I’ll forever stand by the fact that you did not deserve what Howard did. You hear me?”

Buck wouldn’t meet Lissy’s ink colored eyes but she fought to catch his and when his fresh spring rain colored ones met her’s, he held her stare. Her eyes swam with so much determination and care, although he didn’t necessarily believe or agree with what the woman with the simmering auburn hair was saying to him in this moment, he felt how sincere her words were.

She was always going to be by his side, much like his big sister was, even if it was at a distance for a split time.

Maddie’s time.

“I love you Liss,” Buck croaked out, his hands sliding over her hips to lock around the small of her back before pressing his cheek into her stomach.

Her hands cradled the back of his shoulders and the other pressed to the back of his head. She leans down to place a kiss to the top of his deep brown hair, “And I love you back.”

A trip to the east coast was a drastic change in weather and scenery. Buck was originally from the east coast so this felt familiar while Lissy’s roots were in South Carolina. She came up with the idea to go on this trip to just get away from everything, even if it was only for a weekend. Buck was reluctant to go on his trip since he felt like maybe he should be out there with Chimney and his niece searching for Maddie, if he picked up his damn phone that is! Chimney did however when Lissy called him the next night while Buck was in the shower. Although in Buck’s perspective, he just wanted to know where Maddie is and if she was safe. If she left without him or Chimney, then there was a reason for that. That was something he understood although Chimney did not.

“Hello, Amaryllis.” Chimney greeted dryly as he decided to answer that night.

No one’s ever simply called Lissy by her government really—unless you were her wicked deceased father, everyone had nicknames in the 118 family but they both knew this conversation would be serious. Chimney kept the phone ringing for what seemed like forever and Lissy was also prepared to leave a voicemail if needed.

Lissy scoffed, “huh. Howard. so glad you know how to pick up a phone. I have something very simple to tell you so I’ll keep this brief. Don’t you ever put your hands on Buck like that again, or we’re definitely going to have some problems and I don’t want to have a problem with you brother-in-law.”

“Oh, Is that so?”

“That’s what I said, yeah.”

“Imagine if Maddie did what Buck did, how exactly would you feel?”

“I wouldn’t put my hands on another abused woman that’s for damn sure.”

Chimney’s quiet then, “no you probably wouldn’t…but I’m not ready to forgive Buck so tell him to stop trying to reach out and you can also cut the shit with your threats.”

Chimney knows Lissy’s backstory and how much that screwed her brain up, considering they had to pull her in on a case that had to do with cults once in the outskirts of the city.

She had to get into the mind of a cult-leader much like her own father was. That was what really pushed her to seek out help again (the years of dealing with child psychologists would forever be embedded into her brain) and it really wasn’t that long ago that Lissy stopped. After all, maybe she understood Maddie more than she was letting on, although it was different with Maddie being a mother and Lissy handling childhood trauma, she was still the most empathic; which commonly threw others for a loop majority of the time. However Chimney’s anger was blinding everything and he couldn’t be reasonable right now.

Lissy states, “As long as I make myself clear.”

“Well let me make this clear to you, Maddie is the mother of my child, I love her and she deserves to be here with us. She deserves to know that she’s not a terrible person or mother although I’m ticked with her too but Jee-Yun deserves a mother in her life! I can’t just sit on my ass like Buck and let her figure this all out on her own. what kind of man would I be if I wasn’t by her side?”

Lissy talks with experience,“I get that Chimney and we love her too, never stopped. Maddie practically raised Buck so why would you think for one second that he would ever stop loving her? because he chose a different route than you would? He’s her brother. I get that you want to be there but not everyone heals the best or copes well when their loved ones are hovering, especially if they’re afraid to hurt them again.”

“Maddie never hurt anyone! Don’t you get it?!”

More than he would ever know.

“She doesn’t see it that way.”

Chimney snaps, “You seem to have the answers for everything don’t you Amaryllis? do you know where Maddie’s run off to huh? Are you also keeping secrets like your shit stain of a fiancé?”

“I’m telling you to watch how you talk about him,” Lissy deeply exhales her warning as her fingernails dig into the palm of her hand, while she stands at the island counter before carrying on with her phone pressed to her ear, “Buck is still your chosen family and you love him too despite the anger you’re throwing around. I hope you get through that at some point, Howard. Best of luck to you, give Jee my love.”

Her calm demeanor irritated Chimney so he finalizes, “I won’t, so save it.”

And with that the line goes dead.

When she’s off the phone, she’s pinching at the space in between her brows and jumps a bit as she feels hands circle around her waist. She smells Buck’s body wash of Cedarwood, Vetiver, tangerine, and Oud before he presses his chin into her shoulder.

“Everything okay?” he quietly asks, his voice almost soothing that feeling that wants to seep upwards to her brain again.

A small smile stretches onto her full lips as she rests a hand right on top of Buck’s locked ones that are wrapped around her waist, “it will be, baby. What do you think about heading out to Hampton Beach this weekend?”

“Like? New Hampshire?” Buck questions, a slight furrow appearing against his brows, “Not that I wouldn’t love a baecay with you but is now really the best time for that?”

Lissy snorts at the nickname for vacation which lets her know he’s been watching some vlogs again and says, “everyone needs a get away once in awhile. We can discuss it more over dinner…so what are we feeling tonight? Anything except Thai, my stomach needs a break, Ev.”

He raises his hands in surrender as Lissy turns to face him. His eyes scan over her face, noticing the bags on her pretty freckled face that slowly became more prominent. She still looked stunning to him in any state and when she sent him a sweet smile that usually seemed to reach her eyes, he couldn’t tell her no.

“How about Venezuelan?” It was one of her favorites and Buck knew how to compromise in this loving relationship, “and that trip? I’ll really think about it.”

He couldn’t promise but since his mind was always running, he knew he would anyway.

With some persuasion from mainly Bobby and everyone else, that’s how Buck and Lissy were on a flight to “The Switzerland of America!”

Lissy’s not sure how long she’s been awake in the bed post, laying beside Buck, head resting on her tucked hands as she stares out towards the curtain covered window. The hotel was surely giving bed and breakfast with its colonial style and old like furniture but felt charming nonetheless. That’s until the creaking sounded with each movement, more so than at night that had her questioning if there were ghosts watching them sleep which happened to be much louder than Buck’s snoring apparently.

The auburn haired woman completely forgot to put a nose strip on him when they got here while he shuffled around in the bed like he commonly did but after the afternoon flight, they rushed up to their room, shared a shower and went downstairs to the tavern in the late afternoon a little before it closed at five for: one glass of Riesling and a bottle of Heineken for Buck, a cup of chowder on the side that Buck raved about, whereas Lissy personally thought it was bland and steak tips for himself, while Lissy went for the linguini tossed with herb roasted vegetables, which of course Buck teased her for.

“You’re not getting any of my beef, those veggies are not gonna feel you up, babe.” Buck laughed as he stabbed his fork into the steak.

Which wasn’t necessarily true since he had no issue sharing a spoon full of chowder about ten minutes ago before their main dishes came out.

Lissy hummed, disagreeing since she was definitely a pasta loving woman and got filled off carbs pretty quick but decided to taunt the man as she said, “I’ve already had my share earlier in the shower don’t you remember? I think I’ll be just fine.”

Buck stopped chewing to meet Lissy’s wink and had a few flashbacks of what was supposed to be a innocent shower turned not so innocent, “Behave.”

Now it was Saturday morning and she was awake before Buck. Lately she’s been waking up pretty early although she mainly worked the night time shift as a medical examiner, which Buck hated if she stayed over at his place. They hardly got the chance to spend nights together with their hectic schedules. Trust this wasn’t always Lissy’s desired path of careers but ultimately it probably made the most sense. With Lissy’s draining violent and psychological upbringing, she thought she would never see the light of day until she got away from the farm and was placed into an orphanage and then a helpful foster home that ended up wanting to adopt her.

She learned so much throughout her twenty-eight years of life and wanted to provide some sort of comfort to those who have passed on along with those that lost them. She wasn’t able to do that for her own mother who died not long after the birth of her baby sister, granted she was only six but she had to witness it. At least with death on the farm where the cult her father led, they gave each a proper send off.

That always stuck with Amaryllis no matter how twisted it may seem to outsiders.

“What are we doing today?” Buck says with sleep still deep in his tone, pressing his nose into Lissy’ shoulder, breathing her in, as he curls up against her.

It’s seven-nineteen in the morning.

Lissy blinks, “let’s go to the beach.”

“To get our early morning work out in? We didn’t get to go on our walk last night, so hell yeah, let’s go!”

Buck is full of cheers but Lissy let’s out a small laugh.

“I didn’t say all that. We’re on vacation! Who wants to work out on vacation?”

Gym rats, that’s who! Buck was 75% there.

“I’m gonna have alcohol poisoning by how many times you say ‘vacation’ on this trip aren’t I?”

“Oh, Shut up, Ev.”

Buck got used to Lissy appreciating the little things and yeah he found it enduring. Although he initially thought of someplace better than New Hampshire, he still planned on taking her all over the world since she never had that experience. Buck wanted to try his damn hardest to give Lissy the world.

Once upon a time, Lissy had a sheltered life, it was what she was used to and Buck was rebellious and always strived to do what someone told him not to do. They might have not liked it but at least he was able to say he fucking did it no matter the outcome.

Take that how you will.

And he found something special in the woman that lay before him. He wanted to share and see the world with her because there was no one else he wanted or imagined that more with. She made him happy and feel truly understood, always ready to listen to his side first, to be adventurous, and open to loving all that he is. In a way sure she made him nervous at times, since he’s never felt like he could be so raw in relationships before but he didn’t have to question when it came to her.

He guess it was true when they say you know you found the one the day you peer into their eyes long enough.

He’s chuckling before he presses a kiss to her clothed shoulder underneath the sheets, turning over his shoulder to reach for his phone to peer at the time since the alarm clock was turned on a odd angle on Lissy’s side of the bed.

“Eh, I’d rather lay here a little longer first. Let’s get up around seven-thirty or seven-forty five, huh?”

They were both early birds.

“Sure,” Lissy shrugs as Buck gets comfortable throwing his arm over her comforter covered body.

His touch was all she needed to close her eyes.

It was eight fifty when they settled onto the beach which was eight minutes away by car. The plaid blanket Lissy had spread out for them on the sand was just enough as they sat shoulder to shoulder, eyes out on the pale blue-gray waves that spun around on this Misty morning on the beach. Buck had his cup of flat white coffee, which he had to switch with Lissy since his iced coffee was too cold for him now on this sixty-five degree beach. He didn’t even care for coffee like that but he really got accustomed to it once he became a firefighter and it kept him wide-awake during over-time shifts.

“You know? this flat white isn’t too bad. It’s not what you always get right?”

Lissy’s nose crinkles a bit in humor as she sips at the cold iced mocha, which was a little too sweet for her liking but she masked it well, “I asked for extra milk and two sugars just in case.”

“So you knew—wow.” Buck stuck his tongue into his cheek, “You really do love me.”

“Yeah I do and don’t you forget it,” Lissy playfully pointed at the blond who slipped a hand around her back to rub as she leaned into him so he could kiss her temple and provide some warmth back.

And they sunk into each other as they watched the ocean come alive. Normally Buck didn’t mind the ocean but after with what happened with Christopher…the thought of the big body of water did give him a bit of anxiety until therapy gave him some peace. It also helped that he always had the love of his life to steer his mind away from the worries of life…for a little while at least.

The beach was serene and there werent too many people around that lingered yards away; Buck was sure that would be a complete contrast as the town rose to the day despite the gloom the skies brought.

Buck mumbled against Lissy’s hair, “Will you still say the same when I kick your butt at the arcade when it opens later?”

“Thats debatable.”

“I knew it,” Buck shared a laugh with the freckled face woman.

The couple later ventured off to another restaurant on the boardwalk for lunch around eleven thirty, eating lightly since their bellies were slightly full from the coffee before trailing down the boardwalk hand in hand. From souvenir shops where they got dorky but cute matching lounge shirts, to candy stores where Buck had a field day and wanted to take some home for Christopher since he was sure he would eat his share before they boarded the plane on Sunday afternoon, to finally stopping at a jewelry shop where Lissy went crazy buying all sorts of crystals that Buck still had no idea what they even mean. She even bought him a little glass turtle necklace that he just had to proudly wear around for the rest of the evening.

They ended up at the arcade by five pm and it was basically all fun between the two. Of course both wanted to win and it was close but the last game…Lissy had Buck in the end.

Literally and figuratively.

Buck sighs, “Alright fine, what do you want?”

“Kiss my ring first.”

“Oh this ring? The 1.5ct 18k opal stone with Moissanite accents? I don’t think your partner would like that very much.” He’s holding onto her fingers with pride and a smirk.

“Who’s to say he’s the one who gave it to me? Perhaps I’ve made this purchase all on my own, Mr.! Loving yourself first is the true key to finding love in someone else.”

“Well that’s true and I can’t be mad at that…but just curious, did you find that somebody?”

Lissy grins up at Buck as she locks her arms over his shoulders and Buck keeps his hands playfully raised, “I sure did, sugar. I’m looking right at him.”

And Buck seals her words with a kiss, guiding her right by the chin so their lips could meet. Buck can feel the soft tickle of her breath beneath his nose as they held each other in place, before they slowly moved their lips together in sync. His rosy lips were always so soft against her full and sweet ones and Lissy never got tired of kissing Buck. He always held her with so much tenderness and any day in his arms felt like a vacation to her.

When they broke apart, forehead to forehead, her round eyes flicked up to Buck’s awaiting spring floating into summer eyes, “I want the stuffed lobster.”

Buck snorted as he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling a bit, “yeah, of course you do. C’mon then.”

She bounced on her toes, letting her hands slide down from his chest just for him to grip her hand once more, leading her to the counter to claim her gift.

They’re back on the boardwalk with Buck snapping solo pictures of Lissy modeling at ease (along with off guard ones) with the vibrant red lobster and people moving about. It’s around seven with the sky slowly shifting to navy and the puff of clouds remaining gray; the air is still steamy but breezy and the married couple to be realizes their time on the illuminated boardwalk will be cut short as a single raindrop falls to the center of Lissy’s parted hair.

“Hey,” Lissy peeks up at the sky then, while Buck is getting his poses out in the mirror outside with a bucket hat and shades on.

Buck is asking Eddie on FaceTime, “How do I look man?”

“Like an assclown.” Lissy hears as she looks around the boardwalk, noticing that people began to take cover into the nearby stores.

Lissy takes that as a sign and starts, “Ev…”

Just as the rain begins pelting hard against the wooden walkway, giving the indication that it would definitely hurt if they decided to run through it.

“Liss?” Buck calls out as he watches her balance the stuffed lobster in between her thighs then gathered her blown out hair up into claw clip after quickly tying it into a ponytail, “Eddie it’s down pouring. I’ll call you later!”

She steps back into the hard rain, a single arm spread out in her copper sweater, while the other holds her lobster, russet dress underneath twirling a bit with a spin she does, a wide smile spreading out onto her lips as she calls out over the loud water, “let’s go!”

He calls back, “Where to?”

“Anywhere!” She laughs and Buck can’t help but to shake his head as he tosses the hat back on the hook then places the shades onto the near by table.

He runs out to her then, interlacing his soft but strong hand into her own, water saturating both of their faces harshly and he dips his head at Liss before they take off together into the rain storm full of laughter and full of love.

Buck and Lissy couldn’t tell you how long they sat in the rental car but it wasn’t nearly as long as they ran in the rain together. He questioned if it would be weird ordering some delivery service for dinner to arrive at the hotel that had a tavern downstairs but Lissy simply shrugged her shoulders as her drying hair became bigger in its natural state.

Buck left briefly to sit in front of the fireplace outside of the tavern in the lobby which reminded him of his stuffy grandparents living room, waiting on their dinner after yet another lengthy shower. Everything seemed to be more in slow motion, like time was infinite for them both. When their dinner arrived, Buck wasted no time getting back to their charming bedroom to see Lissy sitting cross legged on the bed, still in a robe eating a mud pie that looked real familiar on the menu last night.

“No way are you eating that without me.” Buck comments as he places the bag onto the desk nearby.

Lissy covers her mouth as she tries to chew through the heaviness, “surprise! I’ll share.”

“How nice of you,” Buck laughs as he begins taking the containers of food out just for Lissy to appear behind him holding the dessert up to his lips with a fork.

Buck sighs in contentment, opening his eyes back to see Lissy nodding at him in agreement, “That has no business being that freaking good…you think we can have that as the wedding cake?

Lissy’s chest swells just thinking about the day, although they haven’t set a date yet and Buck talks about the wedding more than she does lately, it still brings her immense joy that someone like Buck would want to do life with her. He was patient and she learned all about his past relationships, which were way more than her’s—which she didn’t judge him for by any means but sometimes she still had to pinch herself to see if this was all real.

“It’s certainly a option, baby.” She runs her fingers over his stubble.

Together they sit back against the bed, Lissy in between Buck’s legs as they eat out of their containers of food, Lissy holding her own in her lap while Buck’s is off to the side of his, the brick wall behind the post bed makes the room chiller but being in each other’s space was all the shelter they need.

Lissy finds herself turning over her shoulder to look at Buck as he’s stuffing his face. When he feels her dark eyes burning into him, he flicks his gaze away from his meal, cheeks full as he sends a boyish laugh her way with a lift of his chin.

“Stop looking at me Mrs. Buck and eat your food.” He says, holding her stare as a single hand gets lost in her much thicker auburn hair.

Lissy laughs, “only if we can have a late night cuddle?”

“Is that not what we’re doing?” Buck asks, sliding his hand to rest back on her thigh.

Lissy shrugs as she faces her meal again, “I’m actually kinda cold.”

“What? Not my woman who likes to keep the thermostat on Antarctica. Wait…are you wearing anything under there?” Buck slides his hand up her torso first but she slaps his hand from lifting the opening of the robe.

She wags her finger in front of Buck’s eyes repeating, “Not uh, eat your food.”

Buck rolls his head around with a groan, “well how am I supposed to eat this if I’m curious now?”

“Just look at Brutus over there.” She points at the stuffed lobster that sits in the desk chair.

Buck pursed his lips after a moment, “My god that thing is ugly.”

“Don’t talk about our son like that!”

“Our what?” Buck side eyed Lissy who fought back a laugh.

“He has feelings.”

“Babe, I don’t know if you know this but that’s a stuffed animal and it doesn’t have emotions.”

“That’s the problem with men, y’all don’t know how to be in touch with your feelings.”

“Now wait a minute,” Buck frowns, “Karen or was it May? Somebody! did tell me I’m a cancer moon or something like that. I think I’m very much in touch with my feelings.”

“Hmm, I’m still in disbelief and think you’re more on the Gemini-Cancer cusp.”

Buck blinks, “yeah…whatever that means but it feels offensive so I think we’re ready for bed now.”

“I didn’t finish my nachos,” Lissy whines as Buck is closing up their containers and moving them elsewhere.

Buck shrugs as he leans back against the pillows still sitting up somewhat and pulls Lissy to rest against his chest, “Too bad. It’s my turn to hold you tonight, you did say you were cold and I don’t want you getting sick.”

Lissy huffs as she nestled her cheek into his chest, “…I won’t complain.”

“I know you won’t,” Buck laughs as he squeezes her shoulder and let’s his other hand rest on her hip.

She leans a kiss on his neck and before she can close her eyes for the night, she spies the light box on his side of the bed. She fears that feeling will come back and settle in like dry cement once they’re both back in Los Angeles but for tonight, she revels in the safety of Buck’s arms.

˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾

Read my October anthology prompts here.

[inyourwildestdreams22]

My theory on the controversial besties narrative is during the first movie they barely knew each other she was there for a week and they decided to market as besties and it was fine. However in this one they did spend a lot of time together and perhaps they realized they just don’t have as much in common I don’t think they hate each other though.Lol also this is unlikely maybe Z didn’t like the whole Wonka shoes business cause that was strange. All this to say I now kinda of get why Warner bros mixed up the pairs. Another problem I think that fan base gaslight themselves into believing the first press tour was like NwH press tour and that’s why they are disappointed.

I don't think they hate each other, I think they are okay but they clearly are not besties, not once in this press tour Z used that word like she used to, not even when they asked her a few times about how it was working with him, she always replies with something like "it's nice to be able to be comfortable and denis told us about this love story etc etc". idk why, might be a mix of different factors but she clearly is not playing that anymore. And yeah let me not with the wonka shoes thing cause it was so weird imo. I do think the "timdaya besties" fanbase played a part cause Z used to be chronically online and she def saw the obsession some people had with that and Z who is someone who stresses over stuff probably did not like that.

[quitefair]

so, about Ballister’s origin...

alright so i’m a huge, huge fan of the original nimona graphic novel. and i’m genuinely a fan of the movie too! it did make some significant changes, but overall told the story it wanted to tell, and pretty much summed up the themes of the novel itself! it was an enjoyable ride!

but!!! there was one bit of the story that didn’t quite sit right with me. and it took me a while to realise what that thing was. (i didn’t want to make a post ranting about it without properly processing what it was that made me dislike this, so i let it ruminate)

anyway, after seeing this post, everything fell into place.

instead of ballister being a commoner rising to become a knight...

what if he was born outside the wall instead? 

(major spoilers for the graphic novel and movie below)

so in the original comic, the knights of the institution were all orphans, including ballister and ambrosius. they grew up and trained together, and were both considered among the most skilled and prominent knights of the institution at the time. however, everything changed when they were pitted against each other in a jousting match. the director gave ambrosius a weaponised lance (similar to ballister’s sword in the movie). its weight threw ambrosius off balance and caused him to lose against ballister during the joust. in a fit of jealous rage over losing, he fires the lance at ballister, causing him to lose his right arm and ruining his chances of ever becoming a knight.

all of this is implied to have happened because the director wanted ambrosius to win the joust. perhaps because of the way he looked. white skin, blonde hair, all the ideal societal characteristics of a hero. nate mentions this in a recent article as well talking about the movie.

while ballister... well. he didn’t. and now he also doesn’t have an arm. it was also implied that the director didn’t like that ambrosius and ballister were close, didn’t like that her perfect hero had a weakness, probably thought that ballister was not good enough for her poster child, idk. so yeah, she killed two birds with one stone. (except in this version no queens were harmed lmao)

the way they translated this into the movie was... well. interesting.

so now, gloreth has a bigger role in all of this. which is cool! it ties in so well with nimona being gloreth’s beast, and the entire reason that the city and the institution exists in the first place. this was actually one of my favourite changes to the comics that they made for the movie!!!

but! what i didn’t like was that our boys were no longer orphans. ambrosius is now the descendant of gloreth? which is why he’s the poster boy of the institution? and the one with the weight of familial expectation on him? 

(okay i lied this kinda slaps but it wasn’t explored as much as i’d liked. anyway wouldn’t it have been great if this was a limited series instead of a movie? lmao im going off track.)

but the weirdest part for me, and something i still felt difficult to accept, was that ballister... was a commoner. a commoner that was chosen to join the institution and to become a knight.

and it’s a controversial decision?

youre telling me that in this sci-fantasy world of super monster cops, that the only way people that can become a monster cop, is through nepotism????

and consider this: most of the commercial stuff aimed at kids, teens etc (kwispy dragon for example) sends the message that maybe, just maybe, you, the commonnest of commoner children, could also rise up and be a super monster cop hero?

there’s also the fact that in our current day and age, the story of the underdog gets the most attention and press? wouldn’t the crowds be ecstatic over a kid from nowhere, rising up among the ranks to become one of the most promising potential knights in this institution?

so yeah i dont really understand why the general population have gripes against ballister becoming a knight (it’s shown at the beginning during the whole montage that there’s some people who aren’t vibing with it) douchebag knights maybe yeah. but i don’t see how the general public wouldn’t be anything but supportive, and would turn on him so fast.

unless.... he wasn’t from the city itself.

you only really hear about the wall partly through the film. you’re shown that the city grows and that there’s a wall built around it during the intro cinematic, but nothing is mentioned until quite significantly through the film. which is odd... considering how important it is to the story. gloreth built the wall to keep the monsters out. to keep us in and to keep them out. the propaganda of there only being monsters outside the wall, and only good and respectable citizens live within the city walls.

(how does the wall keep us free? the wall keeps out the enemy. and we build the wall to keep us free, that’s why we build the wall, we build the wall to keep us free.)

which would make a ballister that came in from outside the wall... well.

1. it would make the director’s statement of ‘cracks in the wall’ make more sense. in a literal sense, ballister couldve come into the city from a literal crack in the wall. which also ties into the metaphor of gloreth’s walls/propaganda cracking. and the fact that he’s now rising up to become a knight? corruption from the inside? it makes the director’s motivations hold more weight.

(also having the director be a descendant of gloreth rather than ambrosius would make more narrative sense but that’s a whole other post)

2. now the public would have more reason to not trust this guy. it’s easier to spread propaganda about him once he ‘kills the queen’. a monster infiltrating the ranks. and then he’s allied with a monster shapeshifter nimona?

3. the parallels between ballister and nimona??? would be even more prevalent??? both literal outsiders. hated by everybody for basically no reason other than that they’re different. and the fact that ballister accepts nimona when gloreth didn’t?

4. there’s also the fact that throughout the movie, the concept of the wall protecting the people from the monsters outside is questioned - are there really even monsters outside, when we’ve never seen them for ourselves? what if you guys are lying to us, what if youre WRONG? and ballister becoming a knight might’ve been a step in the right direction towards pushing against those stereotypes, but the director wasn’t having any of it.

so yeah, those are my thoughts. the movie is still insane though i rly love it. but a lad can dream about what could’ve been, yeah?

[plazsma]

very real ninja ranking off their scent

based off a conversation with my sister these are our definitive rankings of who smells the best in the ninja team and this is correct and final so i will not take criticism

KAI - Kai takes the top spot. he would smell so fresh. Like idk. there is such a smell that comes to mind and it smells clean and good. do not dispute this. he would smell fresh out of a shower even in the nastiest grimest situations. maybe its because he probably doesn't sweat? im not sure. i just think he smells so Clean.

NYA - like her brother is probably Big on Smelling Nice and looking Good. is one of those people who have a signature scent spray that like you can identify with ur eyes closed you know its them. think sea breeze on a november morning. mmmm. i need her

JAY- we agreed that he would Also be one of those people who have a signature scent spray, and we know for a fact that jay is probably the biggest on self care and such. like canonly he is a self care fiend. he is only rank 3 on the list because i fear his scent would be something ridiculous like apple pie sugar crust body mist and that is an acquired taste for sure (me personally i am sucker for sweet sprays so get me on board)

4. ZANE - zane to me would smell a bit like paper that has just been printed? a dentist office? opticians perhaps. not a bad smell but it is just a Smell. some people may even like it. i quite like it actually. he is incapable of smelling bad so his smell is just quite neutral and that earns him no.4

5. LLOYD - okay everyone we are now about to get #controversial but u cannot tell me lloyd would not throw on lynx africa (or if you dont know what that is, axe bodyspray) in like STRONG STRONG amounts probably cuz he saw kai do it when he was 16 and lloyd was like 11 so he didnt even know what else to do and he was copying and nobody has informed him. that it is so highschool locker room and its time to not do that.

6. COLE - i am going to be thwarted for this but im sorry i love cole. so much. this is not cole slander no cole slander here i have to clarify first. i love him but i just think he would not smell as good as the others. maybe sometimes when he uses his power too much he starts to smell like compost. i also think cole is constantly baked and as awesome as that is i dont think it does wonders for his natural aroma. but cole i do love u.

i acc just had to speak this list into existance and materialise it

[alltimefail-sims]

Has anyone posted screenshots for the teaser video the sims team posted for this "season" of upcoming releases?

I'm cleaning up my cc right now so I'm going to break it down. Speculation below the cut! Feel free to reply with your own thoughts because this teaser has kind of stumped me in some ways ngl... but I have theories!

Jewelry box theme, so I think "jewelry" will be important to this "season." I'm unsure how that ties in, perhaps the stuff pack? (More on that later.) Either way, I think we can all safely assume that it's the big selling feature of this season.

Already got those obviously: Goth Galore and Castle Estate. Moving on!

SDX drops are kind of wildcards - they don't usually cover just one kind of thing. In this pic though I'm a bit complexed by the "W," mannequin head, and Bella-style bodycon dress. Not sure what they're going to give us, but the last few SDX drops for basegame have actually been great, so I'm hopeful it's more than one or two things. I'll always take free stuff!

First thought is could be a new skill like gem cutting/jewelry crafting with an accompanying career, but that seems niche to me idk why!! But with the theme of this entire teaser being so jewelry-focused, I have to believe that the stuff pack is going to be jewelry related in some way (it's the largest thing on this list, so it makes sense that the teaser would mostly be connected to the most profitable item.)

I do want to say this: although I really don't think they would make fairies a stuff pack (sorry to my fellow occult lovers and TS3 Fairies enjoyers... I know you all have been wanting fairies so bad) HOWEVER!!! I will admit that the spooky all-seeing-eyes in the earrings, the gnome, the color palette, the crystals, the butterfly necklace in the header... it's giving nature/fairies/magic. Guess we'll see! 🤷‍♀️

Hmmmmm this feels so straight forward that it's going over my head somehow. We have luxury party, we have wedding stories, toddler and backyard stuff have a lot of great "party" items, seasons gives us a ton of seasonal party items... what could this give us that has to do with celebrations that aren't already covered? Birthday stuff maybe? That might be fun, but I am not sure what to expect from this kit.

I'm going to controversially say this though: I like build kits. If we get even one new activity from this kit and some good clutter that's reusable with good swatches, I'll happily buy this one. Birthdays might be one of the only type of celebration we have next to nothing for, so I don't think I'd be upset with getting a kit for general celebrations (graduation parties, for example) and birthdays. Plus the disco ball swatch is kind of silly but could be exciting!

No idea what this could be, but more than likely it seems like it will be a CAS kit that is a collab with one of two people: either a gamechanger/big cc creator in the community OR another collaboration with a brand or company (like we saw with Moschino stuff or Depop in HSY).

What do you all think? I'd love to hear thoughts and feelings on this teaser and when/in what order you guys think things are going to be released!!

[pretty-idol-hell]

Idol Land PriPara 05

Trigger warning for my controversial takes on the gender of certain characters.

So, the episode opens with Laala and Amari going to see a Tricolore performance. Amari starts fangirling over Hibiki immediately and passes out at the thought of meeting them.

Then, when the meeting does happen, Amari immediately flubs her introduction despite practicing it in her head.

*ahem* Is there a lawyer here? WHAT LEGAL RECOURSE DO I HAVE FOR BEING DRAWN INTO AN ANIME WITHOUT MY PERMISS--

Hibiki reluctantly approves of Amari because, despite her many flaws, at least she doesn't have a sentence ender. Also Yui is still Amari's manager, yay!

So, Hibiki has arrived to search for anything they can find out about PriParis, since PriParis Meganii was left behind.

Much to Hibiki's chagrin, Parajuku Meganii arrives...

and eventually is able to inform them that, although PriPara is producing a lot of kirakira, DanPri is still filled with bugs. Hibiki goes to investigate. And despite being told to wear a sheep costume...

Okay so. Okay.

*slow exhale*

Honestly.

I dunno how to feel about this.

This episode really messed with my gender headcanons. Since season 2, I have always headcanoned Reona as a trans girl and Hibiki as nonbinary. My reasons for this included the various flashbacks to their past, song lyrics, perceived reference to Takarazuka theater, as well as the fact that they both perform in PriPara.

But if both of them are allowed into DanPri too... what does that MEAN? Are the BOTH nonbinary then?

Or perhaps I'm just overthinking this. Maybe the system checks for both biological sex AND your gender aura.

It's just that I really liked thinking that Reona got invited to PriPara because as a trans girl she is a real girl and the system is inclusive. But that would also kinda mean...

I dunno, it's just... something about me still just doesn't like the idea of Hibiki as a trans man. They still allow themself to be called "Maho-chan" and "mademoiselle", after all. I also just honestly... don't like the idea that the PriPara system would let someone who fully identifies as male to enter normally, you know? PriPara is supposed to be a safe space for girls.

But yeah, that's my own personal issue. If you want to headcanon Hibiki as a trans man go ahead, that's your right to do so. At the very least, I decided to switch to they/them pronouns for Hibiki going forward from this episode. I still refuse to stop referring to Reona as anything but "she" though, sorry not sorry. She's just in DanPri on a technicality. Or something. I dunno. I DUNNO!

Shogo is legit jealous that Reona is cuter than he is.

Shogo might be my favorite WITH member again. I wonder. I really wonder. Maybe he'd want to give PriPara a try? Eheh. He'd never because of Yui, but this little bit here made me wonder if he's thought about it. Since apparently you can enter either if you want it hard enough I guess IDK...........

Hibiki's first impression of DanPri isn't great.

I know that DanPri was retconned in and technically didn't exist when Hibiki made their idol debut. But it makes me wonder if the in universe reason Hibiki went to PriPara and not DanPri just because they thought it would be dirty haha.

Meanwhile Mario is still reeking havoc. Dark Nightmare invites him to join and he declines.

Hibiki and Mario finally meet. The two of them sense a darkness in each other and quickly challenge each other to a battle--oh wait this isn't Kinpri they are just going to perform... or are they?

*GASP*

Hibiki! Performing with Rei! Out in the open since it's Danpri. AWWW!

AWWWWWW!!!

After Hibiki performs, Mario begins his performance only to have Hibiki straight up HIJACK HIS MAKING DRAMA so they can GUN each other DOWN. Meganii tries to get in between them but--

YOU KNOW, FOR KIDS.

(J/K it's pretty clear Idol Land PriPara is not really for kids and I love it.)

Despite being shot in the heart, Hibiki is not defeated because their heart was not open in the first place.

"I only open my heart for Fuwari and Falulu."

(Excuse me what about REI--)

(Well, Fuwari and Falulu do say they will punish Hibiki later.)

Mario's performance doesn't produce kirakira, but Hibiki's does. Still, it is not enough to unlock the thing.

CUTE.

After the performance, Mario reflects on being challenged by an idol from the girls side. He puts on a goat scull and decides it's time to go and meet "her".

A pretty easy task when Amari lands on his head.

"It's me. ME!"

"WHO ARE YOU I DON'T KNOW YOU I DON'T KNOW YOU"

"...Are you serious?"

[grossestjay]

Things I'd like to know about other writers!

I was tagged by @coreene , which is so nice thank you! (apparently i count as a writer now, nice)

not going to tag anyone this time as i am being shy

Last book I read: I am giving Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson another go. I never finished it the last time. It has it's flaws big time, and it is very of its era but it is kind of charming honestly. Last book i finished was Vile Affections by Caitlín R. Kiernan. I LOVE her short stories.

Greatest literary inspirations: honestly i have no idea. I read a variety of things, but I've never sat down and thought about it like i have with art, as i'm still new to writing as a hobby honestly. (I'm sure you can tell by my inconsistent grammar)

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write: . . . some really intense Abdirak BDSM with emphasis on the SM like, in a Loviatar worshiping dungeon. (maybe the House of Scarlet Hooks just because i like the name. [maybe i will be writing this after all])

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: See above lmao. I also want to write some off the walls Gale stuff one day.

You can recognise my writing by: my partner says "you can tell you read a lot of murder mysteries growing up." so perhaps that. Also the uh, the kink. heaps of it

My most controversial take (current fandom): oof idk, there's a lot of interesting ideas in the BG3 fandom. I think i'll keep that to myself for now.

Top three favorite tropes: I love a good loyal body guard falling in love. Penetration (violent) as a metaphor for penetration (sexual). I am a sucker for the one bed thing it's a classic for a reason. Oh how will you handle when you're forced to share a space, hmm?

What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): maybe 3. Life has been chaotic lately honestly

Share a random frustration: Why have my headaches been such an issue lately? rude

[seattlesellie]

can i request smth a bit controversial.....

reader's basically a homewrecker... and ellie cheats on their current gf w the reader...

it can be like one day ellie can't resist but to immediately break up w their current girlfriend to hook up w the reader and its all intense cuz of the past sexual tension they had..

idk if this is smth u'd write (plz ignore if so) but sorry 4 like shwoing my true colors rn ... im that kinda toxic where id want ellie to pick me over slmeone...

mhm i wrote something quite similar except it’s like even more wrong bc ellie doesn’t break up with cat but u also don’t really have sex but uh u do something worse maybe perhaps . but i’ve been dying to write a part two for a while just need to get my creative juices flowin’ 🌊🤍

[tkblythofficial]

Tarot red here. i did a reading about:T’s future career.

this reading it’s quite confusing to me. it’s positive, but at the same isn’t. i see his career really ascending for now, him being praised and getting roles. his popularity just will raise and people will love him, an it boy (to his fandom). but i think his rising won’t be how he wants it to be, he will be dissatisfied and disappointed, this can be because maybe his movies won’t do well as he expected or get bad commentaries. but this won’t be his fault, his acting will always be praised. also his connection with other cast mates will attract people’s attention, this can be about shipping or just him being a good friend. like whatever he does will get the girlies screaming (lmaooo). but i also see here something negative, i can see a controversy around. so he needs to be careful with his actions, he seems to be a little bit careless and just vibing but now he has a lot of people’s eyes on him, a lot of people will be praying for his downfall. i can see controversies related to his love life more than anything (so this can be about cheating or flirting) i see social media, so this can be ably him texting someone or the rumors will be spread around in social media. i think he will reach success, but perhaps him and other people around had another expectations (maybe bigger). but i see opportunities for him to shine and getting projects so he doesn’t have to worry, i think he’s just very hard on himself. i think at first it will be hard getting good projects or the box office success can be difficult, but he’s just starting he needs to trust the process. trust himself and maybe manifest some stuff into his life with good energy. i don’t know but he can get in problems because of the people his close with. i see him getting a little bit greedy so this can be the reason why feels he’s not doing good.

i see him having a lot of offers, but i think to his career to really grow and expand it needs time. i think he will get discouraged a lot and perhaps it will be difficult for him to stay positive. so the best thing here is surround himself with good people and feel supported through these times that are hard for him. i also think that he gives his energy to anyone (lol) so he might pick bad friends and people that aren’t his true friends. i think he might take a lot of risks in his career and perhaps some thing will do well and others not that well. but he has a lot of passion and drive to succeed.

i don’t know if this makes sense, but this is what i see for him for now :))

Hi Tarot Red!

An IT boy (to his fandom).

Was this unintentional shade? 🤭

Part of his dissatisfaction and disappointment could be him being self-critical which is why the reading is confusing? So his performance will be praised but the projects will overall bad? I would be slightly surprised tbh. All his next projects may not be financially successful but they will be critically acclaimed. Like R with WSS. The movie flopped at the box office but still got praised and awards.

Yeah, I can see him being shipped with different people and being friends with everyone. They won’t have the chemistry that Zeglyth does and his next ship will sink quickly 🤭

I do think he’s a little careless with his IG likes. Hoping his team is discussing that with him.

From what I understand of tarot (nothing at all really lol so forgive me if I’m off base), but a lot of male celeb readings I’ve seen have cheating or flirting scandals. Doesn’t that come with the territory of being a male celeb? Law of assumption? That’s like doing a reading on an athlete and the energy reads them as cheaters. People assume they’re all cheaters so it can reflect in the readings more? Idk if I’m making sense so I’ll stop 🫢

T is very ambitious and driven so I can see him being greedy in terms of wanting more success and being financially stable. We all want more money :(

He strikes me as someone who is friendly to everyone but doesn’t give his complete energy to them. Like he has industry friends and his real friends. His real friends get his complete attention and time but everyone else is people he has fun with and that’s it. He’s seems self-aware of this though.

Thanks for the reading! It made sense to me :)

[explainslowly]

it is fun to contemplate like the, fandom significance of ships, looking at that poll, significant ones seem to me as:

Spock/Kirk OBVIOUSLY

Mulder/Scully again, obviously.

Watson/Sherlock kind of cosmically, generally, has to be there right? Sherlock Holmes obviously has fandom significance outside of shipping primarily.

OK, controversial one but - do we think any Harry Potter ship makes it? Was any one ship specifically significant? Or was it the general vibe? And the bloody shipwars, of course. I am a wolfstar guy but wolfstar does not feel significant to me. Nor Drarry nor the het ships that had people sending death threats to each other.

Larry OBVIOUSLY

Jack Harkness/Ianto I remember this one making people soooo insane. Example of ship that is both canon and significant, imo. Perhaps for it's canonicity.

10th doctor/Rose probably. IDC.

Jensen/Jared might belong here. Unfortunately. For originating both the omegaverse and the original male dog tag on ao3. For the sheer evil energy.

Reylo search your heart you know it to be true.

Those Les Miserables twinks. Probably? Maybe. IDK. Discuss.

I don't think any MCU ship makes it, but tbf if any would, it would be stucky.

I am paradoxically very removed from anime shipping. If any made it probably Sasunaru would be the one. I feel like anime shipping has it's own world that does not communicate with live media fandom. Therefore the significance is like. Shrug.

Girl where is Xena/Gabrielle. GIRLLLLLLLL.

Carlos/Cecil probably, right? The breaking open of the fiction podcast flood.

With heavy heart I have to say, probably not Proffesor X/Magneto. Even if they sooo divorced and we are missing divorce representation in this poll.

I don't think Klaine was significant as a fandom thing. Case of canon giving you pretty much all you could possibly want from a romance storyline and then possibly a bunch of stuff you didn't, lol.

Destiel this, more than anything, is the Destiel website. 113k fics on ao3, baybee.

Will/Hannibal I don't know. I'm torn. It's so good and Fannibals are little freaks. But I feel like they are doing their own thing in their little corner.

Sam/Frodo - or some tolkien shit? Probably?

I am like under-studied on rpf ships (more probably belong here) and femslash. The poll itself also has heavy recency bias as does my memory (I wasn't a shipper until my mid twenties). See my confusion about tolkien shit.

Consolation prize #1 - migratory slash fandom - hiiii Sterek, Rodney/John, Phlint, etc, I hate youuuu alllllll <3

Consolation prize #2 - pair the spares - hiiiii shit like Sabriel, you make my eyes bleed <3

Anyway, feel free to discuss <3

[tediousdelusion]

my controversial(ish, maybe, idk) take on steddy hands is that two semi-apparently contradictory things have to happen first and they are both along the stizzy axis: 1) stede and izzy have to each recognize the other as competent. this takes more growth in stede’s part bc... look my dears, my loves, perhaps even my beloveds. as endearing as stede is, he still ends s1 as an incompetent pirate. he’s never taken a single ship and he has spent his entire life in the lap of luxury. (for his fuckery, he lets the danish board their ship. they live, but they don’t take any property - which is the entire fucking point of piracy). the boy needs to face a material hardship. it builds character, much like working customer service.

and 2.) izzy needs to accept some mild hedonism. pleasure for the sake of pleasure is gooooooood. anyone who tells you different is selling something. this is the one that takes growth on izzy’s part - he doesn’t see value in pleasure alone and like, god, my man perhaps i wish i vibed with you less but...

if these don’t both happen, i can enjoy it, but i can’t believe it, if you feel me. stede is a man who is insecure bc he doesn’t think that he deserves what he has... and up to this point this has lowkey been true. and izzy is fixated on being needed to the point where imo being wanted doesn’t occur to him. (ed is a whole ‘nother bag of worms and this post is toooooo Fucking Long)

but in the end, they need all need to both want and need each other. i think need comes first, but want shouldn’t be short to follow. the want has staying power.

also you can’t dom someone while also being a total incompetent i didn’t say that yes i did (guess im drunk enough)