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#crying and sobbing so loud rn
camellcat · 9 months
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scrambled thoughts about s4 bc I'm losing my goddamned MIND
just finished s4 of Doctor Who. quick question: how the hell do you go on without Rose Tyler? I can't even imagine I literally. what.
like once s3 rolled around I really fuckin realized I was apparently very much watching this show for ROSE and her dynamic with the Doctor, not the Doctor himself or whatever else lmaoo
ONLY Rose has made me bawl my eyes out, let alone even tear up at all. I just can't even fathom being able to connect with any other plot or character like I did with her and her love for the Doctor.
I just ohh for all of s3 most of s4 I just missed her so much??? like Martha and Donna are great (well, I didn't like Martha at first and you can definitely guess why based on all of this but once s4 rolled around she was great!! loved her) but oh my god they were just no Rose Tyler.
plus WOW I really got so attached to her relationships with other people?? like Donna and Martha's families n whatnot made me feel NOTHING whereas I could not get enough of Jackie and adored Mickey (Mickey is family. he is. I don't care if he's her ex or whatever. he's part of the family). Captain Jack Harkness my one true love (btw just sayin I really think Rose and the Doctor should've gotten a hello kiss. maybe not the Doctor he did not deserve one for leaving Jack but Rose did!! hello!!! you gave them "I'm going to go die" kisses give them "hello we're all still alive missed you" kisses!!!). idk if maybe I was just so clocked out of s3-4 that I missed something but I swear those two just had like no really compelling personal relationships outside of the Doctor, and maybe like one specific family member (lookin at you, gramps).
the fact that Rose ended up liking Martha and Donna though??? dfindsnjdj dying dying DYING I love that she would've been friends with them both. they deserved to all sit and gossip about the Doctor like she did with Sarah Jane right in front of his face.
also oh my god no one why why why please PLEASE I'm not used to consuming sad media I try and avoid it as much as possible and this show is just. just. oh my god.
Rose is so close to what she truly wanted. she'll have a life with the Doctor, but not her Doctor and not the life she fought so hard to get back. instead she's still still still stuck in Pete's World, unable to travel across time and space and save the universe with her Doctor (and don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Tentoo, but it just rubs me the wrong way no matter how I try and look at it. it feels like when a character's memories are erased. they're still technically themselves, but something important is missing all the same. and that thing missing is the TARDIS in this case Tentoo is the best thing she could've gotten lol). I feel like I can't even adequately put it into words why her ending makes me as upset as it does I just hope you Get It. I don't think it would've been good for her to not have ANY other solid relationships like she would've had if she'd gone with the Doctor but also oh my god. oh my god.
and the Doctor is once again without his brilliant, fantastic Rose.
I really hope she doesn't come back though unless it's on her own terms, because she missed her friends or smth. I really hope she's able to travel the world and it be enough for her as long as she's got Tentoo by her side. I really, really hope she's happy and fully in love with Tentoo and they are living the BEST life they can.
Fuck. this SHOW.
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indecisive-dizzy · 4 months
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I am inconsolableeeee
I need a minute guys- GUYS I AJSHJSKAJSJAKA SOOOBBSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭
the Freaking Finale y'all I need to screamm waaaaaa
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bunnni-gutz · 8 months
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IM SEEING GHOST TODAY!!! I AM SEEING GHOST ARARAARARRARARRA RAEAEARARARARRQREFEHEHHEHEHEHEYRYEURURUYEYEUEUEUUEYEYW
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mariusroyale · 9 months
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.
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on one hand autism is cool but on the other hand sensory overload
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sttoru · 8 months
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𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍 .
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⟣ sypnosis. a nightmare of your lover’s disappearance wakes you from your sleep.
⟣ tags. gojo satoru x female reader. angst, comfort, fluff. takes place after gojo’s unsealed but before dec 24th, bits of spoilers jjk leaks 236 at the end. mentions of death, blood.
⟣ note. based on it’s happening again by agnes obel. coping rn dhmu . . . not proofread bcs i cant read through my tears anyways hope u enjoy im gonna cry myself to sleep now
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everyone has to die at one point — not even the strongest of all could avoid that tragical fate. not even the strongest sorcerer you call your lover.
no, not even him. the universe couldn’t spare him. you thought that maybe, it would. maybe fate wouldn’t apply to him. oh, how wrong you were.
blood splatter—a stream of red liquid. right at your feet. right in front of your eyes. a man in half. and not just any regular man;
“satoru !”
your dark surroundings become blurry with tears, your body jolts out of its current dreaming state. you could feel your heart in your chest—in your throat. your brain shut itself off for a few seconds as your eyes try to make out shapes and figures in the room you’re in. your bedroom.
you only then realises that it was all just a gruesome nightmare. a hyperrealistic one at that; one that will haunt you for years.
“hmmh.. ‘m right here, baby.” a groggy voice next to you replies to your yell in agony. the yell that was the shape of your lover’s name leaving your lips—
you instantly turn your head to the right and there he was; the man whom just met death in your dreams. gojo satoru, all alive and well. in your bed, in your presence, in your life.
satoru’s hand aimlessly pats the space next to him in search of your body whilst he rubbed his eyes with the other, trying to adjust his sight to the dark so he could find you. you seemed to be in complete distress. which he does not like.
“it’s okay, shh, shh,” your lover hums, hand finally finding your arm. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you on top of him—your head laying on his chest.
his body was warm. his heartbeat was there. loud and clear in your right ear.
“satoru. . .” a river of tears flows down your cheeks like a dam that has been broken into. your body trembles, lungs feeling like they couldn’t get any air in them from how hard you were sobbing. the pain of losing your loved one; it all came flowing back to you.
satoru frowns, “hey, hey. look at me — sweetheart, c’mon.”
he instantly sits up and pulls you along with him. his hands find your cheeks, tilting your head up. this time it was his turn to feel his heart break in pieces. you looked absolutely distraught. as if you just went through a traumatic experience of some kind. he hated it.
“shit,” satoru mutters under his breath before pulling you into his embrace again, arms circling your waist with his head buried in the crook of your neck, “it’s okay, i’m here now. you’re safe.”
it wasn’t the first time you had nightmares when he was with you. you had them regularly after satoru had gotten sealed in the prison realm for nineteen days—nineteen days of dread for you. of an empty bed, an empty house and an empty life.
when satoru had finally been released from the prison realm it was like a dream come true. a happy dream, that is. not those repetitive, bad ones you have every now and then. you still get those nightmares of your lover being either taken away from you by force or by death itself. your brain couldn’t give you a break — even after his return.
“take a deep breath in,” satoru instructs and sets an example by doing the breathing exercise with you, “hold it for three seconds . . . breathe out for six. mhmm, good—jus’ like that.”
you repeat it a couple more times, sobbing and shaking throughout the entirety of the exercise, but eventually manage to calm down a little. satoru sighs in relief at this;
“you okay, baby?”
you nod weakly and sniff, wanting nothing more than to be held by the man you thought had vanished from your life forever. you had that scare once, when he was sealed, and you never want to go back to those dark times. ever.
“it’s— i, just—“ you hiccup once, unable to complete entire sentences, “i thought you w-were gone. i thought you had died.”
it was silent after that (except for the sound your silent sobs and sniffles). satoru had guessed by now that you saw him die in your dream — that much was pretty obvious. but, the thought that you were this distressed because of it makes him. . . happy in a way.
happy that someone would mourn over him at least.
“well,” satoru pensively replies, hands rubbing your back up and down soothingly, “everyone has to meet their end one day, you know?”
that sentence was one that was meant to lighten up the grim mood somehow. one of his many lighthearted remarks that were supposed distract you from your tears. it would work during other moments like these — were you’d be too baffled by the things satoru says to care about what you were crying for — yet today it only worsens your misery.
“shut up.” you weakly punch his chest to which the white haired male chuckles softly, his slender fingers instantly interlocking with yours. satoru’s thumb brushes against your wrist before pulling it up to his lips, placing ticklish kisses among your skin.
another silence hangs in the air.
“seriously though. . . if i were to somehow die, i’d want you to live and move on, yeah?” your lover whispers in such a quiet tone that it was almost inaudible. satoru had looked death right in the eye before — he didn’t care back then if it were actually his end.
he does now. he has the world to lose — his world — his everything. you.
satoru wants to live a happy life with you. he doesn’t want to die now that he has you. the love of his life which he wants to grow old with. maybe have kids with. start an own family away from the busy streets, away from the swarming curses in the city and away from all that sorcerer stuff. it was a nice dream.
“shut it!” you huff and satoru takes another weak punch to the chest. his gaze lands upon your tear struck face and he instantly drops the serious ‘act’.
the sorcerer laughs, his usual boyish laugh that makes you feel better, and he flips you both over so that he has you pinned underneath him. satoru grins before kissing your tummy all over, making you giggle from the ticklish feeling;
“i’m playin’, baby! i’m not going anywhereeee!” he promises through wet pecks against your skin, the smile on his evident even if you couldn’t see it — you could hear it in his voice.
satoru leaves your tummy and moves on to your neck and face. he was smothering you in affection in hopes you’d cheer up some way. he just wants you to forget about anything bad happening to him. you didn’t deserve to think about all that stuff — you deserve to be happy and full of joy.
even without him one day.
“i’d never leave my princess all alone.” satoru shakes his head and pouts dramatically, “who else is gonna spoil you? or kiss and cuddle you to bed, huh?”
you finally show an ounce of joy. a tiny smile. that was all satoru had needed to see. he wasn’t going to stop there, however. his goal was to turn that small smile into a full blown fit of laughter.
“i’m one of a kind, baby. you’re never gonna meet a man like me.” he continues with a proud grin, putting all of his body weight on top of you which causes you to groan and grumble a lighthearted complain.
satoru knows you like it whenever he clings to you and thus he uses that piece of knowledge to help you feel better. his head was buried into your shoulder, limbs enveloping your body like a koala.
“whatever.” you roll your eyes and snuggle up to your lover, closing your eyes as the tiredness hits your body after all that crying.
“whatever !” satoru mocks you in a high-pitched tone, followed by a pair of giggles from the two of you. a third and final punch to the chest finally shuts him up for the rest of the night.
the sorcerer made sure you had fallen asleep first before he whispered the next words in your ear, hoping they’d calm your mind and body so that no nightmares would ever bother you again;
“don’t you worry, sweets. i’m not leaving you. ever.”
. . .
those were the same exact words satoru wished he could utter to you one last time before the current date — 24th of december.
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pizzapizzadickz · 1 year
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:/
#why was i upset again???#diary#personal#i had like a meltdown last night. and i sorta just sat there sobbing for like an hour. then i went to bed.#when i woke up i was just like#anyways. i now am trying to eat breakfast. very unsuccessfully bc i am not eating currently.#id like porridge. but we dont have the one i like rn. so i have to settle for something else. its taken me 40 mins to decide#anyways now i have to MAKE the porridge. and im so burnt out from the meltdown its like. not gonna go well :/#like. ur telling me that while i feel like utter shit i gotta be around people????? and stand at the stove for GOD knows how long????#im gonna make the quickest porridge i can but still its not my day#i rly hope i dont have another meltdown today. bc im already like primed and raring to go for another.#god i hate them so much tho. bc i gotta be quiet i dont want anyone to hear me crying.#and like. honestly i generally get super agitated and lose my mind for a while. so like. if i was alone id probably be super loud n shit.#theyre very painful tho. internally that is. probably in part bc of how much i need to be quiet#cuz like. since i cant cry loudly. i just hold my breath! like!!! i probably sound like im hyperventilating!!!!#and honestly!!!! i have before!!!!! soley bc i cant breath enough when crying.#yeah. but you really can only cry for so long. so generally i eventually get tired and fall asleep.#or my mind sorta blanks out on me and i decide fuck it time to sleep.#so yeah. idk. meltdowns are very painful. its been a while since ive gotten that bad tbh?#whats more hilarious is i was perfectly fine until i tried to sleep. well. i wouldnt say perfectly i was stressed n tired#but nothing to indicate i was gonna meltdown or shutdown. i probably just got so overwhelmed that it sorta broke on me#and like. before i was in bed i had a task to complete so i had to focus on that and not how im feeling. so yeah.#idk. ill try to take care of myself today. but theres not much to be done. im gonna feel like shit for a while.#of course unless i get high or something. id feel a lot better instantly bc it sorta erasses the rough edges on things for me#so rather than feeling like my skin is pricked up and on edge (like i do now). id probably be just focused on food or vids#idk. its weird. and im tired. imma go eat.#drugs tw
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brok3n-gl4ss · 1 year
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thought i was a boy
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Tagging it w/ but also forewarning I'm talking abt pet death again. It's midnight so technically not today but whatever. Had to fucking take my mother's puppy to be cremated today. Would rather have crawled into a hole and died myself lol. Useless fucking vets basically forced me to see the body despite super not wanting to do that. Fuck my life!
#mud rambles#pet death#pet death mention#it was a miscommunication on the nurses fault. i had told one i would rather not see the body#and the other nurse talking to me then later brought me into the room they had her in with the box she was in wide fucking open#AND the blanket she was wrapped in pulled aside#LOL THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR THAT#already had to be rushing to get the poor fucking thing there in time#specifically did not want to see her body bc i cant handle that shit so when i picked her up for my mom i kept the fucking box closed#did not have a single minute to spare to process this shit because i was on a very tight schedule#and then that happened#on top of that there were several people in the reception area and it was very loud/hectic and only one nurse had a mask on!#so i was already desperately trying to stay calm while im overstimulated by all the fucking noise and then both nurses r talking to me!!!#at the same fucking time!!!#then they brought me back and did that. i at LEAST got a moment to myself but being alone with the body just. there. was also kinda worse#like plus was im no longer crying in front of strangers minus is now im sobbing next to a dead puppy#thanks so much dickheads#and obviously i was alone. bc i was doing this 4 my mom cause she was at work. and my partner had to SLEEP for work later#fuck today. fuck everything#im so fucking exhausted with EVERYTHING ELSE going on in my life rn this was. so fucking not helpful#i want to sleep for three days. i wish my partner wasnt working#just wanna crawl into a ball and stop existing. i need physical contact. i need to be held. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#i was gonna be okay as long as i didnt have to see the dead fucking puppy myself but lol of course i was essentially fucking forced to#accident or oversight or not idfc i cant. fucking take this shit.#fuck i should probably also tag#suicidal ideation tw#just in case#as always ask to tag
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lynxalon · 2 years
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having a breakdown is. a bit cringe. like.. me?? CRYING??!?!?!? naur.....
#i usually cry pretty silently#so to cry loudly or visibly is a bit. it freaks me out ig?#cause i think that surely i will be judged for having noticable human emotions surely the people close to me#will hate me for expressing myself in a way that isn't positive and perfect#i sanitize my mental health soooo much that. sometimes i forget i'm not actually doing okay ??? if that makes sense lmao..#so ya bein told i'm perfect while sobbing like a baby was. a lot. i sobbed more. it meant a lot to hear that honestly#i didn't know i needed to hear it like that#i've been trying so hard to earn my place in people's lives that i created all of these convoluted rules i felt i had to abide by#it's been exhausting#i have given so much love but struggled to believe maybe i really am loved too#my head hurts but it's the best feeling rn#i've cried Really cried for the first time in so long#i was loud and i made my hurt known#it's not really easy. it doesn't get better from here. it'll come in waves as always and i will withstand the tides#hopefully hand in hand with the people i love#i'll get better at preventing myself from falling into those Mentally Ill traps#it'll get easier to trust myself and others#and to. explain the mentally ill . so things don't get this bad again#well. ohm. hopefully#agshddjkdkd#aaaaanyways ohm if you made it this far. i love you i love you i love you#i promise i do#we'll be okay and things'll get easier although it doesn't always seem like it#if your head stuff hurts you and hurts others you're not bad you're not a bad person#hold the hurt in your hands and then let it fall away so it doesn't stick around to hurt you again#that's when things get easier#that's when you feel the love people have poured into you#i love you i love you i love you#as you are now and as you will be later and i thank the person you were because you are here now <3
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pascals-doll · 23 days
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unwanted smoke sessions
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ellie williams x reader
ೀ this is just a pure nasty thought in my high mind rn like RIGHT NEOW!!! enjoy this mini drabble.
ೀ we seen mean!dealer ellie on 4/20 but what about sub!ellie yall likeee😩🤧
ೀ description: SMUT! sub!ellie, dom!reader, mean!reader, no descriptions of reader except yall is smoking!, mentions of dina!, use of sex toy (vibrator use—ellie rec), poessesive!reader, USE OF BELT BONDAGE (ellie rec), mentions of jealous reader, HELLA OVERSTIMULATION (ellie rec), fingering (ellie rec), slight cum denial (if u squint frfr) 💝
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you had walked in ellie and dina having a smoke sesh together. they passed the blunt that was shared in between the both of them, sitting closely as their shoulders brushed each other’s.
you observed them for a good miniute before walking through, dina scooting away slightly which just made your blood boil more.
they were passing a dutchie, might aswell been fuckin’ french kissing while at it.
“you love this, don’t you? pretty girl.” you praised as you puffed on your joint lazily. one of your hands held the joint you puffed on as the other held a slim bullet vibrator up to Ellie’s overstimulated clit.
you were working ellie to her third orgasm of the day, legs sprawled open and wide across as her hands were pulled together by your own pretty shiny belt as they thrashed against her chest; squirming around as she cries out your name.
“jesus fuck—please!” ellie begged.
ellie wasn’t much of a moaner, more of a whimper and silent-like sounds falling from her lips, but tonight. tonight was different.
you wanted her to be loud, you were making sure of it.
“you also loved your little sesh with dina, huh baby?” you were coy and your face gleamed dangerously. you click the vibrator once, setting it higher. you listen to the way the vibration level increases through the loud buzzes coming from the beautiful pleasureable machinery.
you cocked your head to the side as you brought your joint to take another drag, your face completely deadpan as you press the tip of the slim bullet into her clit more then angling it.
you smoked your joint without a care, as if you didn’t have your girlfriend squirming and screaming right under you.
“no! fuck—please no, it was nothing! i swear.” she cried out, her hips bucking into the machinery helplessly. your brows furrowed, exhaling.
“oh… no? then why were you so close, my love? all gigglin’—smilin’ and shit. you think she cute?” you turn the vibrator slightly, circling it around her own cum coated clit aswell.
ellies chest heaved as she practically tore out cries from her throat because of the overwhelming sensation of pressuring high vibrations on her soak and vulnerable arousal. “god no! no! y’know this—pu-please!” ellie was crumbling, exactly how you wanted.
“know what? only thing i know is who’s pussy this belong too—you remember, don’t’ya?” you gritted through your teeth.
you leaned down to kiss away the tears that dare to fall from the corners of ellie’s eyes, bringing up your hand to caress her hot pink cheeks as you looked into her flushed and fucked out eyes.
“no! fuck no!—only you, always you.” ellies cry of denial fizzes into a sob. you began to pepper kisses all over her; her tear-stained cheeks, lips, jaw, neck, and down below. easying her.
“this sweet wet pussy—who does it belong too, hm?” your smile was so sweet and mean against the rhythm of her broken and sloppy kisses had her brain short circuiting. your eyes never left hers as you continued to smoke your joint down to a roach.
“you baby, i swear—pussy s’all yourss.” her fucked out state couldn’t stop her from slurring out. you watch the way her wrists squirmed together and shook while enclosed within your belt as her perky titties mushes together. you just gave her another teasing smile.
you took your ring and middle finger, lathering it in her leaking creamy juices as you fingers massaged her sensitive, erupting the most shallow moans from the auburn beauty. the way her cunt glistened while covered in her own cum had you salivating, observing the way her cunt basically sobbed for something while spasming around nothing.
your joint was nothing but a conetip, completely disregarding it as you flicked it with your finger before replacing hands, now using your dominant hand to hold the vibrator.
“couldn’t quite hear’ya, pretty girl.” you plunge your two fingers into her desperate hole, fucking your fingers in and out as you kept the slim bullet vibrator on her clit. the sensation of the high vibrations sending her body through carnal shockwaves as her belted wrists reach out to try to hold onto you.
“you, you, only you—fuck!”
“say you won’t smoke with her ever again—or you won’t come.”
“i-i won’t smoke—fuck me! i wont smoke with ha-her ever again.” the tiltalting wave of overwhelming pleasure as her body thrilled itself towards her fourth orgasm.
“say her name.”
“please! mm’soo close!” she begged, legs intensely twining together tightly closing around the bullet vibrations, clutching the vibrator onto her pussy for her dear life.
“say her fucking name!” you couldn’t help but yell as you felt jealousy swallowing your insides.
“gah! fuck me!—i wont ever smoke with dina again, i promise—m’yours! im cumming, fuck m’cumming!” ellie finally rides through her orgasm. you turned off the vibrator as soon you felt her cunt clenching sex mush around your soaked fingers.
you let out a happy hum as you brought your fingers to suck off clean, savoring the fruity salty she tasted like. you then were quick to unbuckle the belt from around her wrists, massaging them as you brought them to wrap around your neck as you pulled her into you.
“no more unwanted smoke sessions.”
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dolls-taglist: ̗̀➛ @marsworlddd @cosmopolitanaut @elliewilliamsgirl3 @elliewilliamgfooc @graviewaviee @yourelliewillms @gato-chino @elliesgf1244 @deliriousrn @yondaimekazzy @moonyvs4 @tearouthearts @ride4els @colecassidysfav @theoraekenslover @localorphanage @elsgirll @starmoon333 @elliesgf4444
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a/n: i love when my weed makes me cook sum up 4 all yall beautiful people !! hoping this will make yall happy till ts weekend, uploading chap. 4 of GATÚBELA ! love you all and thank u for the patience :3
ALSO IF MY GIRL EVER SMOKE W ANOTHER BITCH THATS A BODY IDGAF???? OSRS😭😭
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youaresimplylovely · 15 days
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Lando Norris x really sick reader please!!! (Self indulgent I think I’m close to death rn 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏)
My Poor Baby
Pairings: Lando Norris x Sick!Reader Summary: Lando takes care of his sick girl <3 Words: 417 Proofread!! A/N: love this so much!! Hope you get well soon and for requests, im accepting them and they are open!! So keep them coming!! Alsooo, dividers are designed by me <3
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"Baby?" Lando called you out, taking his coat off and hanging it in the coat racket next to the front door.
"Baby? Where are you?" He reiterated with concern in his voice, his eyes sharply looking all around the downstairs trying to find you. Eventually, he decided to check upstairs. Maybe you were there. He hoped. He opens the door of your bedroom to see you all huddled up with the blankets, stuffed toys, and the endless pile of tissues on the floor.
His heart shattered seeing you all sick, his eyes were full of concern. Approaching you softly as he sits next to you on the bed. He pulls you in for a tight hug, he knew he shouldn't be doing that but his baby was sick. He didn't care if he did too.
You pout seeing your boyfriend hug you, a loud sneeze comes out of you but you didn't sneeze exactly right on his face. "Nooo i'm gonna get you sick." You say in your clearly congested voice.
Immediately pulling away from the hug as you sneeze somewhere that wasn't close to Lando. You groan, taking another tissue to clear out your stuffy nose, throwing the used tissue on the pile of used tissues. You look at Lando with puppy eyes, you were so ill that you were on the verge of tears.
You pout, burying your face on his chest while you sob relentlessly even if you knew that you weren't supposed to get close to him. "I feel awful Lan!" You really did, everything hurt. Your head, your whole body, your nose from all the blowing you did.
"I know baby, i know, I'm here." He coos, wrapping his arms around you again.
"I'll go make you your favorite noodle soup and i'll feed you. We can cuddle and stay in bed all day and watch our favorite tv show. Is that good for you baby?" He hums softly, grabbing a tissue to help you blow your nose.
You sniffle, smiling happy at your boyfriend being so caring. You blow your nose in the tissue. You were gonna cry again but you didn't instead you hugged him tighter. "I love you." you mumble, burying your face on his neck.
"I love you more my poor baby but you won't be so poor now because you have me and i will take good care of you. Even if it means getting myself sick too." He smiles softly, planting a kiss on your forehead.
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leighsartworks216 · 5 months
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Migraine Pain
Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Wrote this for me bc I have a migraine rn and I want Astarion to act as my personal cold pack. Beginning of Astarion's dialogue taken from the vid Neil did of an Astarion wake up call lol
Not proofread bc brain hurts
Warnings: migraine descriptions, pain, light angst if you squint, swearing, OOC Shadowheart
Word Count: 1,839
Main Masterlist
First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist
AO3
Tag List Form
The two knocks at the door split your skull. Each one like an iron spike hammered into your temples. All you could do was hide deeper under the covers, hoping they would muffle the sound enough to stop hurting.
“Darling, get up,” Astarion called through the wood. Two more knocks accentuated his annoyance. He groaned when he didn’t hear any movement. “Get the fuck up!”
You wished you could tell him what was going on - really you did. But the slightest twitch from your tadpole was enough to have you wishing for death. Hells, you’d make a deal with Raphael with unbalanced terms just so it would go away! Instead, all you could do was wait it out. It would be a long wait indeed.
With another irritated sigh, you could hear the familiar scrape of his lockpicking tools working at the lock. Even the quiet metal-on-metal grated right against your eardrums. Fortunately, he was exceptionally skilled, because with a click the door was swinging open.
He rolled his eyes when he saw the lump of your body underneath the blankets. “My gods, you’re so lazy. Just like Gale.” His footsteps, even as an elven rogue, were too damn loud. You pressed your nose into the mattress, willing the thumping pulse in your head to stop. It thudded behind your eyes with each step.
In one swift motion, the blankets that provided the small mercy of darkness were whipped off of you. You curled as tightly into yourself as possible, covering your head with your arms to block out the sunlight streaming into your room. Astarion scoffed.
“Get out of bed and get up!” He gestured to the window. Even though you couldn’t see it, you could hear the rustling of his shirt. “It’s the morning. Listen, I might be a vampire that’s been away from the sun for 200 years, and I can actually now walk in it thanks to a tadpole that’s induced my mind,” he rambled, before huffing indignantly, “but even I don’t rest in!”
Now was the worst time for his dramatics. You usually adored how sassy and silly he could be, but now it just drove a stake through your brain. Even the Absolute couldn’t cause a pain this agonizing.
You whimpered, reaching out with one arm to swat him away. You missed. “Please, stop,” you whined. “Head hurts.”
He clicked his tongue. “Nothing the cleric can’t fix. C’mon, she can do whatever it is she does on our way out of here.”
You shook your head slowly, burying your face further and further into the bed. Gods, why did it have to hurt so fucking bad? Your chest tightened as the burn of tears stung at your eyes. Even crying hurt. Your body trembled and shook, your hands tangling into your hair to press at your affliction, as choked sobs suffocated you. Each gasp for air felt like a vice gripping your brain.
“Darling?” Astarion spoke, much softer. You couldn’t answer. He sighed softly, no longer annoyed. Well, a little annoyed. He dragged the blankets back up to your shoulders. “I’ll get Shadowheart.”
His footsteps were much lighter as he rushed out of your room. Was… this the work of the tadpoles? But wouldn’t they be affected, too? Ugh, why couldn’t anything be simple in this damn group of weirdos?
Shadowheart rushed in a moment later, remembering to keep her steps light halfway to you. She knelt down, frowning at the sight of the group’s leader so shaken. “Is it a migraine?” she whispered.
A sharp pain bolted through your temples as you nodded. You whimpered.
She sighed quietly. There was nothing her magic could do; migraines weren’t something she could just heal. “I’ll tell the others and whip up some tea, alright?”
She didn’t wait for your answer and set to work closing the curtains over the windows. Astarion frowned, missing the golden light already. “What’s wrong with them?”
Shadowheart put a finger over her lips with a glare. He scowled, but didn’t say anything. She only spoke when she was right next to him in the doorway. “They have a migraine. They’re extremely sensitive to light and sound right now.”
“Can’t you do something?” He glared impatiently at her, crossing his arms.
“There’s nothing for it. All we can do is wait. I suggest getting comfortable - we’re not leaving today.” She slipped past him, back down the stairs to the rest of your anxious companions.
He tapped his arm as he watched the lump under the blankets shift slowly as you finally uncovered your head. Baldur’s Gate was so close. Cazador was so close. They couldn’t deal with these delays when he was so damn close to being honestly, truly free.
He hadn’t moved from his post by the door when Shadowheart returned with a steaming cup of tea. She placed it carefully on your bedside table. “Drink this,” she whispered. “It should help with the pain.”
You nodded slightly, wiping at your face. She offered a little sympathetic smile. She gave Astarion a stern look as she passed. “Don’t try taking a nibble, vampire.”
He forced a sweet smile. “Offering yourself up instead?”
She scoffed, scrunching her nose up at the mere thought. “They need rest. And you leering over them isn’t going to help.” She left once more, with a last cursory glance over her shoulder to see if he’d leave.
Once she was out of sight, Astarion stepped into the room, softly closing the door behind him. His feet barely made a sound as he found his way back to your side. At least you weren’t curled up into a little ball anymore. Or crying. Small mercies, he supposed. He had no idea how to deal with someone being sick, let alone someone crying.
You looked at the cup on the table. Liquid salvation. The real trick was being able to drink it.
With a deep breath, you forced yourself to sit up, wincing and whimpering with every jerky motion. He was honestly shocked you didn’t jump when he grabbed your arm to help, but perhaps you really were that out of it. Or you knew he was there. Either way, you thank him in the smallest, most pathetic voice he’s ever heard.
Comfortably propped up on a stack of pillows against the headboard, you reached over to try grabbing the cup. He caught your hand just before you knocked the cup over.
“Careful, darling,” he chastised quietly. With a put-out sigh, he sat down at the edge of the bed and picked up the cup. He brought the rim to your lips. “Since you’re so incapable…”
You carefully took a sip. Your whole face relaxed at the warmth, and the soothing herbs mixed in. It wouldn’t be an immediate remedy, but it was a very pleasant one. After you eagerly drained half the cup, he set it back on the table. You sighed with relief, content in the knowledge even a single percentile of your pain could be eased away.
“You don’t have to stay,” you mumbled, watching him through squinted eyes. Even the dimness of the room was too bright for you.
He rolled his eyes playfully. “Least I could do after such a rude awakening.”
You chuckled, but the sound was cut short with a strong wince. You sat there for a moment, face pinched and brow tight as you waited for the sting to pass. Once it did, your face softened once more.
“How bad is it?”
“Like Dwarves are taking pickaxes to my temples in search of gold.” You took a breath. “And like an ogre is sitting on my head.”
He huffed a laugh. “Not much I can do to help with that, love.”
You hummed, shaking your head ever so slightly. You didn’t want to go jostling the miners when they were so damned hard at work.
With a small gesture toward the cup, Astarion helped you finish off the last half of the tea. A small dribble fell from the corner of your mouth down your chin. He caught it with his thumb quickly, the knuckles of his closed hand brushing your cheek. You leaned into the touch immediately, without even thinking about it. You sighed with relief.
“You’re cold.”
“Mm. Comes with being undead.” He set the cup aside, but allowed his hand to linger. In fact, he opened it up so he cupped your cheek with his palm. A sharp chill raced down your spine, but you didn’t pull away.
It was curious, how easily you placed yourself in his care. Watching as your eyes shut in easy tranquility as you indulged in the coolness of his hand, how relaxed you became - it surprised him. You always found new ways to amaze him.
Slowly, not wishing to jostle you, he moved to press his hand to your temple. If he thought you were relaxed before, this was utter bliss. “Gods, don’t stop,” you begged.
He glanced at the door, half expecting Shadowheart to burst in and yell at him for disturbing you. But nothing happened. Still, it would be better to avoid being told off. He pulled away, but kept a hand on your arm. “Lay down, dove.”
Whether out of desperation to have him acting as a cold compress once more or just to take the pressure off your brain, you complied in a heartbeat. Slowly, you shimmied back down into the covers, head situated on a pillow once more.
Astarion thought for a moment. Did he really want to keep sitting here, back tiring out, arms reaching for hours? You whined, placing a hand over his on your arm, asking without words for relief. He hushed you.
As quickly as he could without shaking the bed, he stood, rounded it, and slipped in under the covers beside you. You gravitated toward him immediately, even as you winced. Head on his chest, arms clinging to him like a babe holding onto its mother, you relaxed into the natural chill he offered. He rested a hand back on your cheek, but slid the other to the back of your neck. That was the sweet spot, it seemed; you practically melted in his arms.
It wasn’t long before you were fast asleep, lulled into peace with the aid of the tea. He stared at the dark curtains blocking out the sun. One more day couldn’t hurt, surely. Not that they really had a choice, but…
You stirred in your sleep, turning your head to press your nose further into the ruffles of his shirt. Like this - bags under your eyes, hair a mess, a bit pallid - he was sure. He would Ascend. You’d never have to suffer like this again. Neither of you would. He’d be the most powerful man in the lands, with you at his side. Never again would he have to live in fear, bound in chains to someone else.
He sighed and rested his cheek lightly on your head. Gods. Just a few days now.
---
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Text
"you act like you just saw a Ghost."
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"all your games, all your lies"
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synopsis// satoru gojo is horrible at pranks.
pairing// satoru gojo x gn! reader
word count// 1.3k
contents// the prank in question is playing dead, maybe borderline hurt/comfort?, angst maybe but regardless there's a happy ending?
notes// this is how im coping. gege is just punking us that's all. i also just thought this was such a stupid oneshot idea i love it i think im such a fucking comedian for this. but this is kinda (very) half-assed... anywho it was inspired by the song ghost by fefe dobson (dont play with me rn.)
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"Satoru, I'm home!” 
When you get no response, you find yourself gazing about your eerily empty home. You hum to yourself. Odd. Satoru usually greets you right at the door.
“Satoru?” You call out again, trying to ignore how your anxiety rises as you slowly enter your bedroom.
Red immediately floods your vision; it’s everywhere. It’s on the walls, it’s on the bedsheets, it’s on the floor—there’s practically no place left untouched by the liquid. You swallow harshly and make a point to not step into the liquid that seems a little too similar to blood for comfort, albeit the task is to no avail because it's everywhere.
“Sato-“
Your voice dies in your throat the minute you see him on the ground. Satoru is laying there lifeless, covered in blood. There's no rise or fall of his chest, only an empty, vacant stare in his glossed-over eyes. You freeze. For far longer than you should have.
This isn't real.
This can't be.
There's no way Satoru is laying here dead, in a puddle of his own blood. You inhale harshly, not even aware you were holding your breath in the first place, as you drop down to your knees and crawl the rest of your way toward him, oblivious to the fact that you're now coated in just as much blood as he is. The moment you're by his side, It all hits you at once. Holy shit, Satoru is laying here in a puddle of his fucking blood. You hesitantly shake him.
“Satoru?”
You wait a second to see if he’ll say anything or do anything—even a twitch of his fingers would suffice, but nothing.
"Satoru, please,” you say, desperation flooding your voice as you shake him harder.
When nothing happens again, you shake him once more, but this time you don't stop. You simply keep shaking him, hoping that if you shake him hard enough, he’ll do something to prove he’s still alive.
"Satoru, this isn't funny." Your breathing is labored as panic fully seeps into your veins. "Satoru, wake the fuck up!” You slap his face, only for his head to merely loll to the side.
And that was the last straw. Suddenly you're thrown into a sob so violent it racks your whole body, shaking as you can do nothing but rest your head on his chest and sob for him to wake up, to stop messing around because this isn't funny, to just please wake up, yet he doesn't. You don't notice how his chest is starting to contract; you're sobbing so hard that you think it's just you who’s making him move, when suddenly a loud choke of laughter rings in your ears. You sit up immediately, still ugly-crying as you look down at Satoru, who is currently finding something absolutely hilarious.
Oh, you’ve lost it.
You’ve actually lost it; here you are hallucinating that your dead boyfriend is laughing.
Satoru wipes imaginary tears from his eyes. “Oh my god,” he says between laughs, “you should’ve seen your face!”
You blink at him, tears still freely flowing, as you lean back down and place your head against his chest.
“Whatcha doing?” 
“Shut the fuck up.” 
Satoru goes stiff but does as he’s told, and when you can hear his heart beating rhythmically, thumping perfectly fine as all hearts should, you grow cold, like maybe you’re the one who was actually dead a few seconds ago. You sit back up.
“Gonna tell me what you were doing now or-“
His sentence is interrupted by you abruptly standing up and screeching in a fit of anger, or maybe more so, betrayal, “You fucking asshole!”
Satoru, clearly taken aback, scrambles to stand up along with you, holding his hands out in front of him placatingly. "Woah, woah, babe, calm down-"
“Calm down?” You snap, staring at him with an animosity he’s never seen from you before. "Don't tell me to calm down when I thought you were just fucking dead!”
He sheepishly glances down at the fake blood-covered floor. “It was just a prank..."
“Fuck you!” And you snap, thrown head first into another sobbing fit, wrapping your arms around yourself in a pitiful attempt to comfort yourself while you babble incoherently: "I don't—I can't."
Satoru’s heart breaks right inside his chest, and he doesn’t think he’s ever regretted anything more than his stupid idotic antics right now. He can't bear to see you like this; this might actually kill him. He can't take it. He can't take knowing that he’s the entire reason you're in this state in the first place. He takes a step closer, opening his arms up to hug you, and you flinch away from him the moment you notice.
"Don't touch me, Satoru.”
Satoru frowns, ignoring the tears stinging his eyes and the burning sensation of rejection that encompasses him whole. He thinks—no, he knows—that whatever he could say right now wouldn't help, but maybe giving you some space will, so he steps back and clears his throat. "I'm gonna go shower.”
You sniffle and turn away from him, brusquely waving him off. “Do whatever you want."
 ☆⋆。𖦹°‧★ 
Satoru walks out of the bathroom with one towel in hand, drying his hair, and finds you sitting on the edge of the bed. He can’t help but notice the new sheets laid out and how the room is squeaky clean, quickly realizing you were left with the unfortunate task of cleaning up the last remaining remnants of his prank as he showered. You finally notice him in the doorway, but you hardly even spare him a glance.
“Are you still mad at me?” he asks as he makes his way toward you, tossing the towel on the floor before taking a seat next to you.
“You’re an asshole.”
"I know, I'm sorry,” he mumbles as he subtly scoots in closer toward you, and when you don’t bother moving away, he draws you into his arms, your back to his chest as he places his head on your shoulder. "I just wanted to play a prank on you.”
You stay stiff, refusing the innate need to melt into him. “You’re horrible at pranks.”
He buries his face in the crook of your neck and mumbles, "I know that now.”
You hum curtly, ignoring the shivers down your spine—though your resolve is very quickly turning nonexistent, you’ve never been anything but putty in his hands.
Satoru places chaste kisses against your neck, murmuring, “How long are you gonna torture me for?”
“Till you've thought about your actions.”
He pulls away from you and twists your body around so that you’re face-to-face. “I have! I thought about them the whole time in the shower.” He leans in and nudges his nose with yours, whispering, "I'm sorry.”
You stare at him blankly for a moment before sighing, your entire body sagging in relief as you finally give in to your desires and close the distance between you two. Satoru, overjoyed with the fact you’re kissing him, can’t help but return the favor with vigor. Each kiss is followed by him mumbling, "I'm sorry," and it goes on for god knows how long—though you don’t really care, you just care that he is alive, that he is kissing you, that he is here, and it was just a very poor, poor prank that hopefully he’ll never do again—no, a prank you’ll make sure he never does again. You take back the initiative and kiss him deeply, taking his bottom lip between your teeth that has a whine escaping Satoru’s mouth before it transforms into a full-on wince of pain from you biting him.
He pulls away abruptly, his fingers darting up to cradle his bottom lip. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”
You stare up at him innocently, even going as far as tilting your head to the side like you’ve done nothing wrong at all—though your facade is quickly shattered when you lean back in and Satoru instinctively leans back, but you grab him by the back of his neck, forcing his head in place harshly, whispering through a menacing smile, “If you ever pull something like that again, Satoru Gojo, I will personally make sure that you die by my hands.”
“…Noted.”
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justalildumpling · 1 year
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⇢ bark but no bite
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synopsis: when a little challenge was the thing haechan needed to make his move on you
pairing: haechan x reader genre: best friend to lovers, mutual pining, college au, fluff word count: 1.1k warnings: mentions of alcohol, the word ass was used once note: simultaneously simping for lee donghyuck, na jaemin and huang renjun rn pls send help😭😭 also this was written in like 10min of simpery and not proofread i apologise
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Idiot. 
The words you described your best friend at every drunken gathering and especially the morning after as you watched his obvious sufferings.
This Friday morning was no exception, huffing along with a steaming hot thermo filled with ginger tea you had brewed just a few hours earlier as you stormed up to your group of friends at the bench.
Donghyuck sat slouched over the small wooden table, resting his head between his arms groaning about the pounding elephants in his head. You could tell by his low-effort attire and scruffy hairdo that the boy was heavily reconsidering his actions the evening before. 
Not that he was ever going to admit it, with his stubborn competitive ass and all.
You placed the metal bottle down on the table with a clunk, barely catching his dazed attention as you prepared to go on your way to class.
“Is that what I think it is?” You heard Donghyuck gasp from behind.
With a small snort, you turned around to face the boy once again however this time noticing a small light in his eyes, a hopeful smile sparkling at your presence. 
“If you’re thinking ginger tea then yes you little pudu, you’re right.” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms against your chest.
The sound of his flip-flops slapping down on the pavement cut through the somewhat quiet campus grounds as Donghyuck made his way over to you. It was quite a painful(ly cute) slight to see, with a slight trip every couple of steps as he woefully clutched onto his stomach.
The faint scent of wine lingered on his figure as he engulfed you into a comfortable embrace, comedically sobbing at your kind gestures for his pathetic self.
“Y/N, I will kiss you on the mouth right now.” He bluntly stated, pulling away from your arms. 
You blinked at his shamelessness, shrugging away the sudden skip of your heart, “Pfft, are you really?” 
Haechan paused, his hands on the tops of your shoulders tightening as his gaze grew more intense.
You could feel your cheeks growing hotter by the minute with the small whispers and gasps from your friends contributing to your flustered state. 
But you weren’t going to let the devil incarnate called your best friend know that. No way in hell.
“See? You’re all bark but no bite Lee Donghyuck.”
As his eyes narrowed at your confident (not) state, it was then you remembered his competitive nature. 
Donghyuck rarely backed down on a fight, whether it be a stupid debate about dogs having four legs instead of hands or the title of the ‌drunkest at a party or defending you during a stupid rumour in high school, not caring whether it affected his reputation or not.
You remembered the late evenings on your bathroom floor, eyes bloodshot from the incessant crying from the events at school. Donghyuck merely sat on the cold tiles with you, hands soothingly caressing yours, occasionally whispering that everything would be okay, that he would always be on your side.
It was then you accepted your feelings for the boy, the boy who willingly sat for hours on the hard bathroom floors, caring for your pitiful self, eyes puffy, nose red from blowing on the cheap toilet paper whilst crouched into a foetal position. 
It was then you realised that there was no one else quite like Lee Donghyuck in the universe, no one cutting it even close. So there began the agonising cycle of your silence about your little secret, dodging both your friend’s prying little eyes and loud mouths and your best friend’s flirty remarks or as you liked to call it, the forbidden apple of the end of your friendship. Until now.
“You want me to bite?” He challenged, stepping closer to lean in, “Cause I can bite if you want me to.”
There remained only a few centimetres between your faces, his eyes occasionally flickering to your lips. Your mouth felt dry, with swallowing becoming more painful by the second.
You shouldn’t keep going, you knew you shouldn’t. Laugh it off as you usually do, flicking his forehead and sauntering off to class. Simple.
But then again, what harm could he do?
“Do it, you won’t.”
With what you expected for him to cackle and push you in the direction of your class, a small smirk laced his face before his hands latched to your waist and his lips met yours. 
At first, a burst of peppermint coated your tongue, most probably due to his excessive toothbrushing habits after a night out but after that was warmth. The warmth of his soft lips moulding oh so perfectly against yours, the warmth of his hands burning through the thin material of your T-shirt and the warmth of his smile caught as he pulled away.
“Now who’s the one left without a bark now?” He spoke softly, a smug look overriding his features.
You stood silently with your lips left ajar, barely clutching onto your tote bag as you were left processing his actions. 
“Y/N?” Donghyuck called, timidly reaching for your hands once again, “Was that too much?”
“Are you still drunk? You didn’t mean to do that right?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing as you examined his figure.
The hand that was once reaching for yours slammed against his forehead, letting a low groan, “God woman, do you think I’m that bad?”
“Not gonna lie to you, I do.”
Donghyuck whined, fingers moving to the sides of his head, tugging at the strands frustratedly, “Y/N, although I make a lot of… questionable decisions. I meant that.” 
Donghyuck paused, looking over your shoulder at your flabbergasted friend group before turning his attention back to you, “Look, this wasn’t how I wanted things to pan out but I like you Y/N, and I have for a while now.”
You could feel your heart roaring in your ears as the butterflies came rushing down your stomach. The forbidden apple was bitten, yet the pandora’s box remained unopened just like how you wanted things to be.
“You stupid idiot,” You smiled, reciprocating the touch of his hand.
“Well, that’s another way to say that you like me back,” He winked, pulling you by the waist and leaning towards your face, his gaze flickering from your lips to your eyes, “Do you want another kiss for clarity?”
“You know, for a supposedly hungover person, you sure have a lot of left over energy.”
Donghyuck only chuckled, leaning in to peck your lips, “I guess you were the hangover cure I always needed.”
You pushed his forehead with your index finger as you unravelled from his grip, “You’re so- ugh, I have to go to class stupid, I’ll see you later.”
As you sauntered away, you could hear his boisterous laughter from behind.
“See you later love!”
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taglist: @polarisjisung @wooyoung-a @w3bqrl @ficrecnctskz @rv7hsua @n0hyuck @neosdaisy @baekhyunstruly @rum-gone-why @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @produmads @shwizhies @dearlyminhyung @barbkh8450t @cupid-yuno @mxnhoeuwu @liliansun
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beautifulbrainrot · 1 year
Note
Imagine pegging Spencer and having to shove your fingers in his mouth because he's moaning uncontrollably, choking on his own sobs and cries as you pound him into the motel mattress.
You're trying to save him the embarrassment from waking up to the side eyes from the team when you get on the plane. Mainly because he'll be limping ever so slightly and you'll be looking at him like a starved animal when memories from the night before slip back into your mind.
(Of course he was still too loud; poor Morgan and Hotch forbid you two from ever sharing a room again because neither of them slept)
Anyway, just imagine pressing his knees up to his chest and caging him against the soft sheets as you thrust deep and hard into him. The poor thing would be so far from reality, his long hair sticking to his forehead and drool slipping from his lips as he hiccups soft sobs of 'more, more, harder mommy, please,' into your ear. He would moan so prettily as you bring him over the edge one last time, whimpering as you kiss away his tears of pleasure and telling him what a good, pretty boy he is. Mind you this is my POV from someone who is well over 6ft-
KJWEDGWEGDIEU I WANT TO EAT HIM HES SO CUTE
I seriously should stop being so lazy and start writing again. Someone needs to yell at me until I do...
Anyways, I shall leave this here with you lovely 😋
OH MY FYCJUUNGVGODDDDDD
i lit just moaned aloud that is so AGFHHGUJNHHB
YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS OMG. LITERALLY SCREAMING RN
the image of him moaning and crying underneath you i cannot contain myself
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