#currently i am incapable of putting my love for them into words

[posthumus]

BWAAAAAAAA. explain why imogen’s most romantic moments are with pisanio. i will tell you: it is because they are in love

[authenticaussie]

Alright so I just finished Batman:TAS recently and started watching Superman:TAS and it delights me that the first episode is literally just: superman??? Who dat. This is aliens :)) (even if Brainiac does say "human error, Jor-el"). So obviously I do now have aus. Obviously <3 shout-out to @midnightluck for the Justice League, @cer-rata for Terry and @suzukiblu for Jordan + putting up with the initial ramble

So anyway Brianiac's satellite upload gets fucked up by Jor-el either in petty revenge or as an accident, and a part of Brainiac ends up on Clark's ship. The vague explanation I have is that Brainiac is the AI for everything and in TAS, Jor-el also does not realise he is "evil" and thus still uses his help as a navigator for Clark's ship while he is initially building it. The ship, however, is offline to prevent the Kryptoninan council from finding out about it, and thus, that section of Brainiac does not get taken back into the satellite upload.

As it is BARELY the 90's when the Kents find Clark after the crash, Brainiac is summarily useless thanks to the current lack of wifi, but manages to mostly teach himself English and Kal kryptonian, and decides that. >:( since they're BOTH there, they can BOTH be vestibules of kryptonian knowledge. And also Kal can get him more earth knowledge. The vibes entirely are: "Weird aspects of kryptonian culture taught by an unbodied dickhead historian" and while the argument is "but brainiac is evil!" Main brainiac is. But this is a subsection of Brainiac :) he learnt more stuff + Clark loves him soooo much.

Unfortunately. That is His baby now. He is not impressed with his baby. His baby bought him a growing chick the other day, with big sad eyes, and said the kryptonian word for fluffy!!! in such a mournful tone that Brainiac resigned himself to teaching kal about how growing up worked and that the chicken needed feathers to fly. This explanation ends with Clark collecting feathers and trying to jump off the barn roof, and he thus resolves to extend further co-parenting issues to the Kents. For his own personal convenience, of course.

It does of course ALSO mean that Brainiac, who has a loose definition of the words "surveillance state" absolutely gets in at the ground floor when the internet first starts up. Clark's influence relegates him to the background, but he is good at hiding ! So they don't realise they have an AI in the wifi! But ohhhh boy does brainiac scare a few people at first. Potentially tries to do his "i am helpful" schtick before realising he is not useful in this because he's basically just. Seems completely like a troll? He's some random person who's invaded the internet!!

However he is also the inspiration for google 😂 and calls it his younger, stupider sibling. It is also funny to me to think about earth compsci engineers having NO idea why sometimes the internet acts SO DAMN WEIRD <- brainiac's fault.

As a result though, when Clark starts up as Superman, Brainiac does NOT let the Kr project off the ground. Files are misdirected and blackmail is gathered. Until one day Kal says something sad about how he'll never be able to have a great romance, because he's terrified of telling anyone the alien thing, and that he's always thought about kids but he's kinda terrified because what if he hurts someone- and Brainiac is like ah yes wait. I shall fix this for my Only Kryptonian.

TWO kids for the price of one?!? he finds, after he goes searching, and then further prodding finds THIRTEEN children, extraordinary. Not all of them are viable because the earth scientists truly are incapable but Brainiac can fix the issues with their technology to ensure Kal has the children he wants.

"How many children did you think of, kal-el?" he asks, and Clark laughs at how kindly his friend/uncle/grandfather figure treats his silly selfishness.

"Oh, man, sometimes I think: as many as I can carry! But then- I don't want Superman to get in the way of being a good dad. Too many and I won't be there for them like I should, you know? I worry about that, I guess."

"As many as you can carry is a significant amount," Brainiac says dubiously, already imagining teaching these numerous children kryptonian culture and Also that they are Not chickens. "I do not think that can be fulfilled effectively."

Five minutes later Clark has five children and has realised his matchbox apartment and budding romance with Lois Lane are both complicated things he will now have to resolve. He's basically commuting daily to the Daily Planet from Smallville, thank god for superspeed and his endlessly patient parents, jfc

(Children I was thinking of: the destablised kon!clone from SB94/The Ravers, Kon, Match, Bizarro, and Mia. Alternatively they went old-school with Biz so Brainiac didn't get a chance to help him/he's older than the other kids when Clark finally mentions wanting kids, to Brainiac, and thus Biz ends up like. The kids' uncle. There ARE technically twelve clones before Kon. I could've given you thirteen-fifteen kids, Clark.)

Anyway this does mean that either a) when Lois finds out Kal is superman this is not his biggest secret, b) Kon rocks up as Superboy and Lois, once she finds out Clark is Superman, immediately goes: WAIT BUT SUPERBOY'S YOUR KID. ARE YOU MARRIED??? or c) everyone at the Daily Planet thinks Clark just. Got really unlucky with different people he slept with and someone in the world's wildest stroke of luck they all ended up pregnant. Because Clark Does Not mention a partner when it is eventually revealed he has kids.

He probably does keep them a secret for a while though. A) He doesn't want them to have to try and be "normal" since they're only just out of the pod and B) I feel like, weirdly, Clark is somehow that co-worker that people like. barely know anything about. You like them and they're so helpful! and good-natured! and then you get him in the office secret santa and realise you're not even 100% what his favourite colour is or if he has a pet.

Anyway, Lois: he is NOT expecting Lois to get pregnant and they have to have a Long talk about it because Brainiac is. :) Being an asshole about species compatibility and the fact that it is "not natural" for Kryptonians to be created biologically rather than properly, in a pod, and also: Clark already has five freaking kids. That's a lot of kids! Are they going to be okay having a brother that much (at least five-ten years I'm thinking, depending on if we go: Brainiac gives him multiple children of multiple ages, or multiple young children of the same age,) younger than them??? And then there's Chris, too, who rocked up just after Clark and Lois started dating, and is still pretty high needs because he only mostly speaks Kryptonian (and is lowkey terrified of Brainiac, so Clark's main babysitter is out) (also please please imagine how freaking cute the subplot of "chris realises this brainiac is not the nightmare his stories told him about; watching his new siblings do things that Brainiac would have killed them for, terrified for them because he heard the stories of how long Brainiac bided his time--)

But this is also: how many kids can we give clark, the fic, and thus they have Jon, and then Jon exhibits so many kryptonian characteristics and Lois doesn't mean to but she's a little wine drunk and says, "i love them, you know, they're all perfect, Jon's perfect, I was just- I'm terrified for him. If we raise him right he's gonna be just like his dad…and you know what? I was wanting my own little Lane. Someone to follow my footsteps. I'm feeling a bit outnumbered here, haha!"

Brainiac: hm. I will amend this. (Makes and artificially grows human!Jordan so he displays more human genetic characteristics As Lois Wants)

Brainiac: I have created Jon-el's twin for you, Lane. You are welcome.

Lois: um what

Clark: honey no you can't talk about children with Brainiac he will make more

Lois: WHAT.

Lois: OUR CO-WORKERS KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE TWINS, KENT.

Clark: …. you're gonna have to be one of those weird "I didn't know I was still pregnant" stories…. 😂

Lois: 😭 Clark you know those are only funny when they are NOT HAPPENING TO ME

Clark: you didn't know you were pregnant….. literally

Lois must engage in the gaslighting of all of her coworkers <3 What do you mean you didn't realise she had twins she's shown you both of them? Of course they look the same they're babies. Of course she always had twins. She carried them. Did you carry her babies? Of course she would know. Isn't that right, Clark? …. isn't that right, Clark?

Clark: "Where else would she'a gotten a baby from, guys? An alien?"

Brainiac: hello i have delivered the child. Where is my thanks? It has still not been conveyed? I am doing the Literal Best as the Literal Best AI ever? Excuse me? You ignore Brainiac?

Brainiac: death for one thousand humans-!!!

Martha: 🥰 Brainiac I'm so proud of you for always making sure these kids are taken care of. Giving us Jordan! Oh, you marvellous robot

Brainiac: …. acceptable, Matriarch Kent

either that or Lois shoots herself in the foot and everyone thinks Clark is STILL the man with the world's worst luck and the strongest genetics ever:

"Lois, honey…how are Jon and Jordan so close in age? If they're not twins?"

"Uh- Jordan is adopted!"

Everyone: looks at Jordan, who is Jon's splitting image

Everyone: …..okay

Anyway because this AU is wildly cliche, very obviously the Bit of Brainiac that helped Clark grow up re-integrates with Brainiac prime during a Big Dramatic Battle where all of the Superfam are getting hurt, and manages to stop/halt Brainiac prime from hurting Clark and the Kryptokids at the cost of his existence.

Jordan gets to punch it in the circuits cause he's the only one not affected by kryptonite but still has the general invulnerability. (And then Jon and/or Kon and meeting the LoSH and they realise their grandfather Brainiac has very much been continued in Brainiac 5's code :3 for an open-ish happy ending of "hey good exists forever and always regardless of heritage")

GRANDPA LEARNS LOVE AND AFFECTION.

GRANDPA CHANGES FROM GENERAL SELF SERVICE AND SELFISHNESS AND REALISES HE LOVES KAL AND THE KENTS AND HE WILL PROTECT THEM

GRANDPA ALSO WANTS ACCESS TO THE INTERNET. There is a constant battle and it does work for a while because he is elected babysitter of the kryptokids and he is only a small part of Brainiac, five kids does stretch the circuits he developed from Clark's pod, but it's a constant cycle.

"Kal-el, son of house of el, I demand google, I have not finished investigating the 'man of Bats'. Why are there two variations of his name?"

"You mean Dark Knight?"

"THERE ARE THREE? KAL-EL, PROVIDE ME WITH THE WIFI IMMEDIATELY--"

Also when Brainiac finds out that Clark's birthday falls on a human holiday he. He tries. He tries to do pranks. Most of them are vaguely and accidentally evil (Chris cries when Brainiac takes over the internet for the day and makes every search engine answer questions wrong), but he tries. He knows Clark likes pranks! He is trying to participate! It's family bonding!!!

Braniac: It is your 33rd April fool's day.

Clark: Yep!

Braniac: I have finally decided to assist you with a prank.

Clark:...oh?

Braniac: Behold! (Small boy with dark hair, blue eyes and a square jaw walks in, dressed in a decent little suit.)

Clark: Braniac you CANNOT keep making...Wait. No. No you didn't--

Braniac: A prank to share with your closest friend!

Braniac: I have been calling him "Bruce" for my records, but you may want to pick something else for clarity.

Clark: 😦😳😬💀

(And thus we have Terry)

Also, while Clark is pretty secretive about his kids, when/if any of them go out with a Superfam name, and/or after he gets closer with the Justice League, there are little slip ups. He does really love his kids!!! And at the point where he's joined the JL he's been with Lois for a few years now and is used to mentioning them every now and then at the Daily Planet/trauma sure does bond you together :) and he trusts the core members of the JL pretty well. Someone makes fun of Bruce for his "hoard" of children and his "adoption problem" and Clark snorts and then chokes. Bruce has barely adopted Tim and/or has only just gotten Cass. Four? Please, Clark's almost at double digits.

Or Hal is talking about the fact that he doesn't know what to get his niece for her birthday; Clark asks how old she is, and goes "Seven? Oh, yeah. Go for Monster High, it's really big right now. The dolls are pretty cool."

"Lol why do you know so much about dolls, you have a secret collection-"

"What? No, my daughter likes them."

Hal:

Barry complains about how many birthdays he has to go to and Clark laughs. "Oh, tell me about it! Mia, Mark ((Match)), Chris and Mara all had birthday parties for their school friends in the same week - thank god for superspeed, right?"

Barry, who was talking about volunteering to visit kids' birthday parties at different orphanages in Central: Clark what are you talking about.

Also, Clark's an idiot and decides to introduce Brainiac's "prank" to Bruce on the watchtower because hey! It's neutral ground! And none of his kids can hear into space, thank fuck.

Clark: so....Bruce....you know how you were complaining about being an empty nester. Now that Damian's gone to college. Well. Hm. (pulls Terry from behind him) Surprise!

Bruce: .......You have a new child.

Clark: er. Well. sort of!

Terry, staring at Bruce like the autism creature: O_O

Bruce: .....I have a new child.

(also probably terry's backstory then includes some amanda waller induced kidnapping and potentially a bit of amnesia and adoption by another family but hey, he finds bruce again eventually!)

(also match does try and be the badboy of the family and does hang out with thad, when thad comes up to kill Bart, but. they both just. accidentally vaguely rehabilitate each other? They're not good, but they don't murder, at least. It's a low, low bar. When Clark tries to disappointed-face him, Match just says he's following in Grandpa Brainiac's footsteps and does Clark REALLY expect him to disregard a family legacy-- and you can give him some suicide squad angst or whatever, but the fam is still. there for him.)

(Mia and Kara get into a fist fight when they first meet; then they are best friends. Mia's not great at 'being Kryptonian', especially because she was one of the first attempts, and as per canon is technically a human who they tried to overwrite with Kryptonian DNA, and thus doesn't entirely understand Kara's connection to their 'home', but as a result she also ends up being Kara's confidant in it, because unlike Kal she does understand being taken away from your home and not being able to go back to it, and yet does not have...the same connection the way the other members of the Superfam do, and the disconnect allows Kara to actually talk about Kyrpton instead of mourn)

(Kon does try and grab the spotlight; Clark is trying to let him have freedom, after both Mia and Match went a bit....bitey at his attempts to keep them safe until they were older, but he's still the more naive of his siblings. Thankfully for Clark, he does get to introduce Kon to Robin, and while they don't hit it off, it is enough to mitigate the worst of the fallout of Rex's sleazy bs and Knockout's crimes ): When he joins YJ Clark is both proud of his heroism and a little scared that one of his kids is actually deciding to follow in his footsteps.)

(Mara is Kon's destabilised clone, from when he learns about paul westfield. We did not have enough girls in this family and thus part of their journey of self-identity was the fact that in a family of loud personalities they weren't great at speaking up; it takes a while for them to admit they want a new name and to use she/they pronouns, but by the time Jon and Jordan are five everyone's used to the change. Mara and Kon are closest, even though Kon and Mark/Match are technically sort-of twins; they clash waaay too much in temperament and personality. Kon was much better at playing protector to his little sibling, especially after they came out, and Mara shares "Supergirl" with Kara - she's only a backup member of the titans, though, and has the compassion and strength for heroism but sometimes too much empathy. Does a lot of relief work and peaceful outreach programs. They love a lot.)

(Chris?? no self sacrifice here!!! He has a bunch of fucking siblings with TTK, he is NOT going into that portal)

(There are two Nightwings; every now and then they debate who should switch to Flamebird, jokingly, and yet both of them have perfectly valid arguments - it's kryptonian! / I look good in blue! - and thus it never comes to fruition. When Mia and takes on Flamebird they give it up entirely; it helps that Chris ends up doing a lot of intergalactic work, so there isn't much confusion on earth with the call sign.)

When Jon is old enough to want to switch from Superboy he 100% puppydog eyes Chris into giving him the Nightwing handle so he can give it to Dami, and snags Flamebird from Mia. Dick decides he can live with that and is trying to take care of his own kid so is semi-retired (and can snag it back from Dami if he ever gets too bored).

For a bit there are def still two Flamebirds, but then Mia and Chris decide to team up for intergalactic stuff and to bully Mara into more fistfights, so then they're Trio and just go by Mar-El, Lor-Zod, and Mi-El. I know that is not how female names work on Krypron but I also think Lois Lane, who kept her name and also gave both Jon and Jordan her last name, hyphenated, heard of that shit and went "absolutely not". Either that or Mara decides to keep her Kryptonian name as Mar-El and Mia is Mia Kal-el, or copies her mom and is like naw Fuck This, especially considering her.....lack of general connection to Krypton? Could be fun for any :3 (Or maybe in space she just goes by Lane; time for her semi-mom to get recognition. Mara is already showcasing the house of El, Chris is rehabilitating the house of Zod, she's gonna kick butt for the house of Lois.)

....Though this does potentially mean i have accidentally called Match "Mat-el" and the Barbie jokes from that. Would be. Iconic.

Anyway that's the Grandpa Brainy au! Tune in next week when I force Cerata to watch Arthur and the Invisibles with me and start talking about bug-prince Kon-el and Lois' adventure to save her husband from a tiny evil overlord.

[spatialwave]

Hi dropping on to say I’m so thankful someone else is currently as captivated with Limoreau as I am but is a writer and creates sweet sweet content. I think you’re doing amazing at writing them, thank you so much.

Obsessed with Jordan and Marie always trying to protect the other, always looking at each other even when they were rivals. I like to think that at some point Jordan notices Marie protecting them and at first doesn’t get why and tries to make sure they’re protecting her and not the other way around. And then a cycle of this until they finally just ask her why she’s putting herself in danger for them and then they both turn into queer mush idk I love them 💖

you... are so sweet oh my god! i am so glad i can write them for you, it is a pleasure! 🩵 (warning: writing this little musing ficlet made me cry.)

-

protecting others was the reason why students wanted to major in crimefighting, or at least, that's what should have been the main reason. jordan li took that promise very seriously, and it showed when they had to fight luke. without any hesitation, then stepped between their friend and a girl they hardly knew - just to protect her.

that’s when jordan realized a pattern. maybe it was because either one of them hated the notion of owing each other a favour, regardless, the two of them seemed to be crazy protective of each other.

it was an unending cycle, jordan would protect marie, then marie would step in and protect jordan. it was weird, jordan couldn’t comprehend why she would want to step in like that.

the more jordan thought about it, the more it made them frustrated and angry. the last thing they ever wanted was for marie to get hurt because of them. they'd live with that regret and guilt forever.

it hurt especially when they got close, emotions rose and feelings bloomed. that fear of marie getting hurt was beginning to swallow them whole, and it was a complicated feeling. marie was her own person, she was strong... jordan didn't want to bring it up and come across like they didn't believe in her.

that just weren't used to someone wanting to protect them, too.

it wasn’t until after they got their memories back — when jordan remembered the fight with sam, where jordan had put themselves between marie and sam only after she jumped head first into battle. oh, how it rattled them. how could she have been so careless? to jump in without even as much of a plan?

it was eating them away when they returned to godolkin later that night. they had spent several hours sitting on their bed wondering how they were going to approach this without making it seem like marie was incapable, but they couldn’t take it anymore.

the confrontation started with jordan knocking on marie’s door with a heavy fist, five knocks for good measure. marie opened the door and her eyes widened, a smile spreading on her lips, “hey-“

“why are you so frustrating?” jordan questioned immediately, pushing past marie into her room. much like the time of their first kiss.

she was taken back, blinking a few times as if she was having deja vu.

“excuse me?” she asked, already offended by their verbal attack, “what did i do?”

jordan turned around, tucking back a few loose curls behind their ear as they looked at marie, “you… you’re always getting in the way! every fight you’re always running in head first and trying to protect me. why?”

“what?” marie shut the door, walking a bit closer to jordan with a confused look on her face, “you’re mad at me because i’m… helping you?”

this is exactly the energy that jordan was avoiding, but they didn’t exactly do a good job at positive communicating. they sighed as they ran a hand down their face, trying to take a moment to relax before they continued to run their mouth off like a maniac.

“look,” they started, taking a step forward and looking deep into marie’s eyes, “i’ve just- i’ve never had someone like you in my life before, alright? i don’t want to see you get hurt.”

those words made marie’s heart skip a beat, but she was hesitant to let it go, “i can take care of myself.”

“that’s not what i’m insinuating.”

“then explain it better. use your words better.” marie stood her ground, arms over her chest as she watched jordan with thinned eyes.

it sent a shiver down jordan’s spine. she was right.

a few moments of silence passed before jordan parted their lips, “i’m scared you’re going to get hurt because of me. when you put yourself in danger like that it fucking sucks, okay? i hate feeling like i’m the reason you’re going to get yourself caught up in something stupid just to protect me.” the words came out of their mouth easier than expected, their breath quickening and heart rate sky rocketing. their eyes shook with vulnerability as they stared at marie.

tears had began to well up.

“oh, fuck,” marie murmured as she saw the pain in jordan’s eyes, walking close to them and wrapping her arms around their shoulders tight, “i didn’t know.”

an awkward laugh bubbled up as a tear rolled down jordan’s cheek, “yeah, well, obviously i’m shit at communicating,” they said as their arms gently wrapped around marie’s waist, fingers curling into the fabric of her red hoodie.

she pulled back slightly so she could look at jordan, moving one of her hands to wipe away the tear that rolled down their cheek.

“i can’t promise that i won’t get hurt,” she spoke softly, the most gentle smile forming on her lips, “but i’m not going to stop. i care about you, jordan. i care about you so much that i would rather get hurt if it meant you didn’t. that’s what you did for me with luke… and i didn’t appreciate it until it was too late.”

jordan couldn’t speak, their eyes filling with more tears that dared to spill. they could only listen to marie, hearing those words that soothed their angry heart.

“i’m making it up to you.”

[colourprinter]

Probably too personal thoughts, feelings, and ramblings around Our Wonderland

A couple of warnings, this will likely spoil all of Our Wonderland and this will likely get personal on the thoughts and feelings. It's a personal look (and total ramble) at this game more than anything.

If you haven't played or don't know what Our Wonderland is, I don't know how you found this but you can find it for free on this link.

To keep the spoilers hidden and to prevent forcing , I've put everything in the expand below.

I found this game from the Queer Halloween Story Bundle on itch, I was looking around what was in the bundle and enountered this game. I had already played a visual novel from the bundle that didn't gel too well with me so my hopes weren't too high.

I had no idea what this free game in a bundle had in store.

I was casual during the intro, I don't know when it hit but I knew I was locked in when act 2 hit and I saw what the meat of this game really is.

Something in this game sucked me right in, and wouldn't let me go.

I can't say I remember every detail but I was quickly emotionally invested, trying (and almost always failing) to keep Iggy alive and seeing how this friend group had completely gone off the rails, how their wishes twist around them.

Everything gave me the feeling I believe it was meant to, Gidget's advances on Iggy, Orlam, Buck's outright brutality, Genzou trying to get out alive while throwing the worst words at Orlam (I think he's just like that anyway) and Iggy having the worst time of his life.

While that doesn't sound like much, I don't usually get a reaction from a lot, the mix of visual and words hits just right... or wrong given how horrifying some of this is. Well, some things in the game would easily get a reaction...

For a bit of context for the next parts, I am aro/ace, something I truely discovered myself in the middle of a relationship, not that I hate being in a relationship but I think I'm completely incapable of feeling romantic love, there's just... nothing there. With being ace, I kinda resented the way my brain would react, litrally wishing sometimes that I was ace, glad I grew out of that for my own sake.

I also tend to feel awkward enough around sex in video games. I got goaded into the House of Hope scene, the first time the game crashed to save me and the second time I went dead slient and fixed my eyes down, only looking up enough to see the choices... I've now got an agreement to never have that happen again.

So obviously Gitget's sections got a big reaction from me, I thankfully haven't had any expriences close to anything like that, I could understand Iggy's perspective.

But enough about the horrible stuff for the moment, I'm not going to explain that, yes, seeing Orlam's and Buck's scenes were also shockers because eating human flesh and brutally murdering people are kinda bad things as well.

What I want to focus on next is something I currently only have one full perspective of, the romance. I usually verbalise everything to myself in RPGs and VNs, doing silly little voices for everyone (doing 6 children voices at the end hurt) so when I was given the choice of an ending... obviously, I chose the Genzou ending. Usually I'd feel awkward and stilted reading out the words but this time, it felt nice, I haven't done the other endings but I'm sure they're just as good, even if they're not, I got at least one good romance which given that this topples my fav VN romance (Slay the Princess which is pratically a joke romance anyway), I'm more than happy with it.

Niceness is over, I have another list topper, worst thing I've ever encountered in a video game, something so bad that even being foribly censored (I'm not checking if there's a visible version this time), it made me sick to my stomach. The tree and the infant in Her branches. Now I've played though and done some horrible things in video games, including child murder, but the way the body is described, the way everyone reacts to it. I can't call it anything below truely horrible and I'm putting this above freaking turn based RPG murdering children, I thought after that nothing would get me again (I think doing it actually knocked a screw loose because I've suddenly stopped being a goodie two shoes in video games, that's how bad that was). I mean this as a compliment but that is the worst thing I have ever encountered in any media.

And I think because I've felt these strong emotions where I haven't been hit so hard before, I've become completely pulled into it all. The fanwork contest was the first bit of my own art I put online in years and that kick started me getting back into art as a hobby, something I don't think I would have gotten back into if I didn't do that bit of Iggy art to prove to myself that I could do it if I put myself into it.

So... Carrot, thank you so much for this game of romance, fun, death and wishes.

If I land on my feet, I'd like to make a game with multiple acespec PoVs one day, much less horror though.

[nube55]

Hey lovely Nube 💕

Finally, finally, I have the opportunity to jump into your ask box & get to know you better!!! We're both huge fans of fanfiction so this ask game was made for us! As usual, I can't stick to one question only so, if you're ok with that, may I ask you: A8 | B5 | C2 | D8?

Looking forward to reading your reply 👀

Lots of love 💕

<><><><><><>

PS: your comment/reblog of Lucy's post about this stinky comment on her fic was perfect 👏

Hello Val!! 🎊 awwww thanks for stopping by!!! Hahaha don't worry, we'll get to all of them!

(Adding a read more cause this got LONG sorry I'm physically incapable of summarising)

What was your first fandom? Are you still in that fandom now?

My first fandom was Harry Potter. I am not in that fandom still and do not wish to engage in it anymore for a number of reasons, but it was my gateway to reading from an early age and it was an excuse to bond with someone I cherished a lot and who sadly isn't here anymore. I met some awesome friends through it too, friends that put up with me to this day! Hahaha

Which story have you read more than any other? How many times?

You know... come to think of it, I haven't read an entire fic all over! 🤔 (regarding multichapter fics). I do want to highlight the ones I've been going back for certain chapters/scenes that I love! This list shows a variety of writing styles that leave me on the ground swooning (Warning!! no concrete spoilers buuuut references to scenes):

Holy Ground by @lucysarah-c (ongoing): Lucy can pretty much give a masterclass on poetic writing and I'm not exaggerating. I come back to it for my faves: chapter 9 (aka Levi's quiet morning gets interrupted in the funniest of ways - for us readers, not for him lmao), chapter 11 (aka not knowing how to play Scrabble leads to interesting outcomes), chapter 15 (one OF THE BEST LEVI POV I'VE LAID MY EYES ON), and chapter 17 (when you can feel yourself in the scene, it's just that amazing)

North Star by @sixpennydame (ongoing): such SUCH a special story. I love coming back to chapters 6 & 7, the whole Mount Aspe arc is exquisitely written.

Spectrum by @19941117 (finished): I have nothing but praise for this story and the incredible talent of its author. It focuses on an AoT character I've never seen explored before, and has the most breathtaking of endings.

Silver Underground by @amywritesthings (ongoing): this girrrrl leaves Easter eggs everywhere so I had to go back an re-read many parts to come up with theories lmao. I really enjoy the first chapter, the pace in it, the dialogue, the tension. And the whoooole bit on the Underground arc makes my heart become pudding.

Please tell me I didn't f*** up any link hahaha.

What word or expression always makes you cringe when you read it?

Usually I cringe when I see a sustained behaviour that feels excesively out of character to me (in those cases I choose to opt out). I also feel cringe-y in NSFW scenes when intimate parts are refered to overly poetically for my taste. I'd rather have them refered to in a filthy way tbh 😂

Which fandoms do you read fic for?

Currently I'm 99% dedicated to AoT (had a YoI phase a couple years ago!). Buuuut I wouldn't mind reading some Vinland Saga stories 😏 (@atruewarrior I'm looking at you)

.

.

Well I think that's it!! Thanks for the questions Val, have a wonderful week! 🌻🌻

Ask a reader meme

[galacticgraffiti]

20 Questions!

thanks for the tag @corvod (i dont know why it won't let me tag you help) (I also have to put this under a readmore I am incapable of short answers)

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 20 works right now... so many are unfinished I am hiding my face.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

331,532 (gahdamn)

What fandoms do you write for?

I used to write exclusively Star Wars, but I have somewhat lost motivation for that, at least for now. Currently, I write a lot for BG3 and I'm working on some TLT stuff!

What are your top five fics by kudos?

(1) Veman'alor (Boba Fett x reader) (2) October Thots (various SW characters x reader) (3) Ad'ika (Wrecker x reader - my very first fic!) (4) Big Love Ahead (Halsin x reader) (5) Daddy's Home (Boba Fett x reader)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do my best to respond to comments, especially on AO3 because that's all the interaction with the author that people get, so I try to make them feel appreciated for taking the time. I'm horrible at keeping up with comment-reblogs on tumblr, even if I try very hard. My brain gets overwhelmed sometimes.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm I have a Boba Fett x reader somewhere that I remember being pretty angsty but I can not for the life of me remember where I shoved it. The most current one I have is I Am Nothing (Like You Thought I Was) in which I put all my feelings about Ascendant!Astarion and abusive relationships.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Nearly all of them - I can't make my characters suffer without making them happy in the end apparently. Also I never finish anything lol

Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple of comments that were, if not hateful, still unkind towards me. I block very liberally these days :))) If people don't want to understand that you can simply Not Read what you don't like then they can fuck off.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Not exclusively (anymore), but a lot, yes. A lot of x reader, though I do enjoy writing about my OC(s) as well. Oddly enough, I really like writing about male characters even if I'm a lesbian.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't really. I admire people who have the braincells for it, but I settle in a universe and stay where I feel comfortable.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone once messaged me asking about it, but I never heard anything else so... no?

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have not! Collaboration is fun but so much work.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't really have one. Wait no, that's a lie. It's Gideon Nav and Harrowhark (I would die for them)- and thanks to Leo, it's now also Bloodweave (Gale x Astarion from BG3). I am consumed by them.

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

So many. Way too many. I really wish I could finish them all, so I'm willing it into existence instead of telling myself I won't lol

What are your writing strengths?

I love dialogue very much, I think I'm decently good at dirty talk specifically lol. But what I like the most is worldbuilding in the sense of making an existing world my own.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Typing things out that seem so clear in my head lmaooo

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I love it! I'm a huge language nerd, so I do it whenever possible, it feels more immersive to me that way. I appreciate translations being provided though.

First fandom you wrote for?

I think Star Wars may honestly have been it - I was never really active in a fandom before.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh damn a whammy at the end, huh? That's so hard. It's always the fic I'm currently working on the most, I think- so right now, it has to be Big Love Ahead. It feels so warm and comfortable to me.

This was so fun! I apologise to everyone who has tagged me in games and I haven't done them, I get real overwhelmed sometimes. No pressure tags for some mutuals @purgetrooperfox @certified-anakinfucker @baba-fett @ulchabhangorm @atriursa

[fluffypotatey]

any tips and tricks for getting into the writing zone?

ok so i have 2 methods and they depend on what i'm writing on: story writing and essay writing (waring: this is a mini-ramble)

with essay writing,

get mad, get super fucking mad, write that shit with spite flowing in your veins. even when i'm writing essays and stories i enjoy, i drag my feet.

i whine and complain like a toddler in my head because despite this topic being one i enjoy, putting my excited tones and rambling into coherent words always tends to feel like i'm butchering that (which is why academic papers should simply let me swear in them and use the 1st pov bc it is sO easy and my thoughts flow a lot better but noooOOOOoooooOOOOOooooo, i have to be formal and proper and-)

also, outlining. fucking godsend with essays. it's why a lot of my longer essays have headings bc i use them to outline and keep my thought on one line of thought bc i have a rambling issue (which is then easily solved with parentheses, my beloved)

with story writing (notice how this is basically a heading? good job! you've found my mini outline for this reply! have a cookie 🍪)

i find that jotting down that scene that is nagging at your brain immediately is super helpful. and do it even if you're now writing out of order. pro-tip: writing out of order is THE best, endorphins be going crazy bc you're actually not fighting with your brain with the story but writing alongside your brain-map.

personally, i find it very difficult outlining a story (how contrary) because sometimes my mind changes ideas or switches the order of scenes, and it is exhausting trying to keep up with all of that in your outline. but i guess, my "outline" with stories is simply me jotting down a very quick summary of the plot that invaded my mind in one document, never touching it again, but staying true to it because i wrote it down. therefore, it exists no longer in the recesses of mind but it a physical statement/promise to complete.

also (this advice goes for both story and essays) it is ok to take a break, step back, and not look at your writing for some hours, days, weeks, months, years--fucking whenever.

my midterm essay? a fucking nightmare. loved the topic, would write something similar about it for fun, but the reason it took me so long to complete (and why i dragged my feet) was because of the "short" timeline i had to complete it. i felt like i was on a time crunch and that led to me procrastinating, stressing over it, and taking my grand old time researching for it. however, when i was able to work on it? i allowed myself to simply do as much as i could. if i was unable to look at that stupid document, i didn't look at it. if my mind had a really good thought or example for the topic rotating in my head? immediate sit down and get that thought onto the paper. it must exist.

i have fics sitting in my folders that have been unfinished in so long, but i still consider them as wips because (and here’s another subpart-advice) i tend to work on them when i am unable to touch my current work. to be frank, working on something else helps keep you in the writing zone even if you cannot stand to look at the blank/unfinished work you wanted to complete originally. when i was incapable of writing for the Monkie Destiny Challenge, i switched to working on writing and editing my teen wolf fic (a fic i had not looked at since July) because while i still had that itch to write, something was blocking me from completing the prompts. and when i switched fics, getting into the zone was a lot easier.

so, to recap:

when jumpstarting the writing zone for writing an essay, you get passionate (can be read as mad/spiteful), and outline your thought process of the essay with headings to keep the writing flow flowing (the headings do not need to stay in the final product but they are good to have in the draft) .

when jumpstarting story writing, write! that! shit! down!!!! chronological order doesn't mean shit when you're in the planning/writing phase. your readers don't have to know that you wrote/planned a character's death before writing/planning out the beginning. they just read it in the order you publish it in!

to keep the writing zone stable and in working condition, TAKE THOSE BREAKS BOO! who cares about your personal deadlines???? if you feel exhausted before opening up a doc, then take that break, babygirl. again, your reader(s) will not need to know (nor do they need to know) how long it took you to get your writing piece done. hell, if you still feel the itch to write but the thing you wanna do is not working, then work on something else you haven't touched in a while because that itch WILL get its scratch somewhere, so help me god.

so yeah, i hope this was helpful, anon (and coherent jfc there better not be a plethora of typos T^T). happy writing, and may your weekend be a healthy dose of eventful!

[scary-monsters]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @crown-of-winterthorne, thank you friend!!! 🧡🧡🫶🏻

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 33 total! i've got 8 for jjba, 25 for haikyuu

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 473,497 🤯🤯🤯

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently only jjba, i don't anticipate anything else for a long time since my major interests tend to last for years

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? unsurprisingly they're all ushiten 😭 i won't link them but: "i'm a house with no windows" (200k friends-to-lovers), "shuffle" (fake dating/only one bed tropes), "fascinating facts about geckos" (high school teachers au), "on display" (nsfw oneshot), and "morning routine" (my very first fic ever posted :')) aw)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i try to!!!! sometimes i get really behind (like i am right now ugh) and that's either because i'm busy or i can't properly put my gratitude into words 😔 but i think i get to most of them eventually. i don't really reply to the ushiten ones anymore, but they still mean a lot to me.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i.. don't think i have any?? i love writing angst but i really cannot handle sad endings.. i'm a sappy little romance-obsessed fool, i fear i'm incapable of anything but sweet and fulfilling endings

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i mean it's gotta be "i'm a house with no windows".... they literally grew up together and got married and then visited their hometown as middle-aged men.. i don't know if i can out-do that. but if we're talking jjba then probably my most recent diego fic, "ritz to the rubble"

8. Do you get hate on fics? i have before LMAO, nothing too horrible but honestly i just shrug it off. i like my writing and i know lots of other people do too so i can't be bothered

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? ummmmmm yes.. i write a lot of it HFDSKLHGKLS.. i won't detail that here bc this isn't a nsfw blog but my ao3 speaks for itself.

10. Do you write crossovers? nope! the idea hasn't ever even crossed my mind

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? i feel like.. i remember someone telling me that one of my ushiten fics was on wattpad at one point but i never saw it myself and that was years ago so ??? MAYBE?? i truly don't know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? i couldn't find evidence of it but i remember someone requesting to translate a fic of mine to chinese?? and i had no problem with it but AGAIN LOL these things happened in like 2016 or 2017 so it's been a hot minute and my memory is garbage

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? not really, i attempted to collab with a couple friends in the past but it really didn't work out very well.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? diego and me (im kidding. kind of.), i mean currently it's dinopants and dinoballs. i love diejoni as well but the other two reeeeaaally hit that sweet spot for me. i like ushiten in a way that's like... aww.. those were my boys and now they're grown up and moved out ?? they are cute but they aren't My Guys anymore

15. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? UGH I HAD a dinopants university au that i started over a year ago but i ended up using one of the previously written scenes for my recent fic so i doubt i'd ever finish the original one. for the most part i finish what i start, though.

16. What are your writing strengths? DIALOGUE !!! at least to me, anyway. i think i'm really good at getting into a character's head and analyzing them and how they'd handle social situations, which is funny bc i have trash social skills. i fucking love character analysis in general

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i think i tend to overuse words sometimes... maybe lean too heavily into dialogue.. i'm always always always trying to get better, so in a way i think i look at everything as a weakness that i'm constantly working to improve

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i've tossed in little fragments of Italian when i write gyro but other than that i don't think i'd personally do it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? realistically? naruto 💀 my original old-ass clunky desktop had several word docs of deidara fic, i'm like 99% sure. too bad limewire and heaps of viruses killed the damn thing

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? atm i think it's gotta be extra hot, well stirred, light foam :')) i was so iffy about it while writing but i think it's such a perfect balance of funny and sexy and i'm quite proud of it. it would make sense to say a fic from a while ago but i don't like my writing from back then.. i just think i've gotten so so so much better

IM TAGGINGGG @reclusiverisottonero @swallowed-teeth @hammerofspace @penny-lane-123 @phvntom-limbs but no pressure, lovingly patting y'all on the head regardless 🧡

[mariowritesforyou]

Dogs, Bots and Blogs:

A content creation horror story

This is a long one, but my mind can only contain so much madness.

So yours truly decided to start an online presence.

I want to write and be a creative as a vocation, and it was time for me to build the bridges that would connect me to an audience.

My first bridge was built Wordpress, where I'm uploading a web serial currently. It's not terrible, check it out.

Degenerate self-promotion aside, I was quite excited to see who my first subscribers were, people who got to me through the Wordpress Reader, the feed of all the posts made in the platform.

A couple of human-seeming accounts, they had that soulful controlled randomness to them, along with the kindness to give my stuff a chance. I checked their blogs back, until I stumbled on a particularly canine one.

A pomeranian blog.

Nothing but.

I have considered against outright saying the name of the blog or the name that the creator goes by because 1, saying their names might bring more power unto them and 2, I don't want to be cruel.

It's carnage trying to get the blind behemoth of the internet to set its eyes on your content. As long as their methods are not malicious, I am hard pressed to judge someone for how they do the grind. That's why I'm also pasting screenshots that are not too revealing.

It's all gray.

(This is all true for how creepypasta it sounds. I swear to god.)

But yeah, pomeranians.

Pom-poms galore.

The blog howled till its chords were raw about the beauty and caretaking needs of the dog breed, to a point of an almost hypnotic suggestion of it's necessity.

Odd, but garden-variety odd. The internet has seen wilder bursts. I thought that until I took a closer look at the furballs.

Like stuck between mediums, not quite a photograph and not quite a digital painting. Both too blurry and too sharp.

Artificially generated images.

A fraction more odd to my expectation, but still adhering to logic in function.

I can perfectly picture a Pomeranian enthusiast, with unbridled energy and capacity for writing of the children of the German Spitz, but incapable of illustrating their texts on their own. Perhaps wanting to avoid the legal headache of copyright with their incomplete understanding of it, they turn to AI (which is a copyright nightmare of its own, but I digress) in order to get their images.

Cut and dry.

But I wanted the character I had conjured to be real, their love for Pomeranians real, so I checked the posts' content.

I'm not an expert, but the text does have a mechanistic aftertaste to it. Huge amounts of fluff (heh) with aimlessly vague topics. No citations of experts of any kind. No personal experiences with their own pom puppies. No typos.

You've got around 3500 words a post, putting them in a word counter. So, how many posts?

20 PAGES OF 10 POSTS EACH?!

(What are they looking at?)

(There's nothing particular about their eyes.)

This is the first post. No "Welcome to my blog!" post or "This is why I love poms so much" post or "You're pet too, aren't you?" post, but an article about poms alerting impending seizures.

I'm writing this on the 13th of August (Why does that sound like a last captain's log?). 52 days since their last post.

200 posts in 52 days. Approximately seventy thousand words in honor of the breed, like warm drops spilled at a stone altar. This is definitely automated to crap.

There's no heart pumping blood that is creating this.

It's necessarily something else.

(What can you be other ecstatic? Ungrateful?, you little shit.)

The best part (if you're inclined for human definitions of "good" and "bad") is this:

THEY HAVE ANOTHER FULL BLOG FOR JACK RUSSELL FUCKING TERRIERS!!!

They are also following me.

(No one's laughing at you. No one cares enough).

(What is purpose?)

HOW CAN YOU WRITE SO MUCH ABOUT DOGS???????

(Is there any?)

(Where can I find it? Certainly not their eyes.)

(There's nothing particular about their eyes.)

(There's nothing there.)

(Nothing.)

[creativebrainrot]

open journal entry

just writing about Brain Garbage i had to deal with today.

descriptions of abuse at the hands of my dickhead father. (not to be confused with My Dad who is a sweetheart that I would fight god for.)

TLDR: I am incapable of assuming that anyone who acts like they care about me or enjoys my company Actually Means It because I had Basic Human Social Ques weaponized against me for my first 16 years alive. I am currently incapable of believing that anyone genuinely cares when they're nice to me: They're ACTUALLY doing it out of pity/civility/jsut because they're a nice person/etc and Not because I am a friend that they care about. I am also incapable of assuming that anyone that enjoys my company considers me special in any regard.

like I still have to fight off dumb ass thoughts that if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would care. There's also the stupid little loopholes my brain will find like "even if they DID care, its because youre their friend and they "Should Care" and not because they, on their own, considered you, individually, special." because minds are, infact, Stupid, and Overrated. :)

im working on it.

i have literally no self perception what so ever. that's only slightly hyperbolic. If someone doesn't tell me what they think of me, my default is to assume that they like me in that moment. The second anyone stops talking to me for awhile, I assume it's because they're bored of me. That it's because they no longer like me. They'll be back in a week or two, or they'll be gone forever.

I know why this is my default of course. i've been isolated, for 21 years, in the middle of no where, with no friends- let alone real friends who care, until last December. my abuser. who would, when I was 13 and younger- actually he never stopped being like this. I stopped playing the game instead. He'd act "normal" (loving, listening to me, joking with me, caring about me, being a father,) for a week. then he'd reset. he'd be right back to acting cold, distant, like I was an annoyance, a nuisance. Unwanted. I would have no indication of this beforehand (thats how this bullshit worked, if id known, it wouldnt have been abuse.) He ambushed me with being fed up of me, wanting to play and talk with my father, like a child WOULD want, all the time. it was always either very insidious words he could pass off as an "accident" or him "misspeaking" or legitimately, straight up, brushing me off. his autistic, loving child, who took that shit VERY personally, every time. I wanted, and i needed, routine. I still need routine to be happy. I know for a fact he used that against me when he lived with us. There was another thing he'd do to me. I'd read all the social ques he set up, and understand all the things he said, but when I later assumed I'd known right, he would flip around and say he never said that. he never meant that. and always imply that I was stupid for thinking I'd understood his Exact Words correctly. obviously, this was more abuse, and he was just lying. because he could. to trip me up. to make me doubt myself. it resulted in me never listening to a fucking word he said. Aswell as the lingering issues of me, still assuming, that I cannot read people. That people who act like they enjoy my company are simply being civil. Or that they do enjoy my company, but it wont last. They'll get bored of me eventually and then I'll never hear from them again. Or i'll hear from them again a week or two later. I know it's all nonsense- That it's all just, residual effects from my abusive childhood. That I'll unlearn it eventually.

But I cannot put into words how frustrating it is to be having an okay or fine time and then be blindsided by how desperate and lonely I was trained to be by a manipulative piece of shit who never loved me. Lied to my fucking face- his goddamn child, every day of my life while he was in it.

To be blindsided by how insecure I was made to be. The self-hatred I feel for things that are not my fault is so goddamn, suffocating. It's not my fault I'm desperate for attention; I was deprived of genuine love and attention for 20 fucking years. Sure I had my dad that whole time but one parent cant, and shouldnt be expected, to make up for an abusive parent. My dad is the reason I'm even alive right now. He's the only reason I never acted on any of my suicidal thoughts. But he couldn't fix the abuse that piece of shit inflicted on us both. It's not my fault I feel worthless and unwanted; I spent the first two decade of my life being told through implications that I WAS a nuisance and unwanted and worthless. It's not my fault I'm so fucking lonely when he chose somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no my age around, with no school nearby I could walk to- somewhere with only military families that would leave in a few months or retired people who dont fucking want to talk to anyone else and sure as hell dont make for good friends for my queer gen z ass. Let alone that we're in the south, and I am nonbinary.

None of it is my fault. I want to unlearn it.

I just want to believe that i am special to someone. You don't know how tired I am of the voices in my mind telling me that I will never be wanted, or loved, or needed, or missed when I'm not around.

How tired I am of being genuinely incapable of believing that I have any value to anyone alive, unable to believe that anyone would care if I was gone tomorrow.

I am exhausted. I am so tired, of believing that I am unwanted, that I am pathetic, that I am worthless, that I will never be remembered when I'm not in the room or around.

I just want to unlearn it all and move on with my life.

Very slowly, I am.

There's brighter days ahead. I've held onto hope for so long it's starting to hurt. I want it to be over and done with already- all of it. The move out of this wretched house that always felt like a prison, unlearning these nasty lies that were implanted in my mind to make me vulnerable to more abuse, the poverty, which is also the result of residual abusive actions. I can't tell you how many times my dad saved that idiot from making us homeless.

I know that these nasty lies are just that; lies. I know that I'll get a chance to truly feel like my friends and loved ones care. I know that I'll be able to put all this behind me someday soon and never look back.

in the meantime I am so sick of the thoughts in my mind rendering me incapable of believing that my friends genuinely like me. So tired of it actually hurting, to even think of letting myself believe that they care. Every single last time I let myself believe that someone cared, I got hurt. But that "someone" was the same person, every time. The people in my life now, are not that man. Infact they've been kinder to me and shown more care for me than he ever genuinely did in the 21 years I had with him in my life. That's not even remotely hyperbolic.

idk man, brain shit is annoying and bullshit and BOY do I want my mind to shut the fuck up again and let me live.

[grimacingheron]

It's a longun and took me two days separated by weeks. Got prosey, but I have no regrets.

I live for these pixel men(among other things).

Sebastian takes one final drag from his cigarette before putting it out in a pocket-sized ash container. He had gotten it as a gift from Hero, so he wouldn't need to travel far for a trash can and he wouldn't feel the need to litter. They really got on his case about that.

The sun's still blindingly bright when he makes his way down to the community center from the mountain lake. His boyfriends decided to take advantage of this "gorgeously warm" afternoon. 'Yeah, right. More like "unnecessarily blistering," but whatever,' Sebastian mocks, but he can hear the sickening fondness even in his own head.

He's trying to get a breeze down the front of his long-sleeve when he sees his gaggle of partners infesting the playground and fountain benches. By the looks of things, Harvey and Shane are locked in discussion over something while the other two are sitting on various bits of equipment.

The two of them look like gossip girls; holding hands over their faces and whispering in a way that isn't loud, but still obnoxious because you can't hear what they're saying, but you know they're saying something about you. Sebastian exasperatedly sighs.

Once he stalks closer, it becomes evident why they're whispering. No one ahould have to hear the sugary shit these two are currently spewing.

"Oh my gods, look at 'em. Elliott, look!" Hero is on the swing, legs excitedly kicking while they attach a hand to Elliott's arm. He's roughly jostled and brilliantly smiles despite the sand Sebastian sympathetically feels getting in the author's shoes. Elliott does look, but gets immediately distracted by the appearance of Sebastian.

"Sebastian! Good of you to join us." Elliott's tone is teasing, but he still grimaces for not arriving sooner. It's smoothed over when Sebastian latches on to the offered hand. They give each other a squeeze.

A gasp startles them and Elliott is quickly jostled again. This time, the shaking is so severe it affects Sebastian as well.

"Sebby, my beloved, look!" The farmer kicks their legs on the swing, specks of sand go flying, "They're so cute! They're talking and so close and I am," they cut their sentence off with a sound. It's more of a groan as they seem unable to express the feeling through words. Elliott uses his and Sebastian's clasped hands to pat Hero's hand on his arm.

"We know, dear, we know." It's clear Hero's been at this for a while. Elliott sounds so long-sufferring, Sebastian felt the need to give the author his own comforting pat. He's not even sure what's so interesting that Hero has become incapable of human speech. Obviously, they're exclaiming about Shane and Harvey over on the bench, but nothing in particular strikes him as "I can no longer function normally" in the way it seems to have hit Hero.

That is, until he squints just a little, roving over the view before his eyes and he sees it.

Something shifts in the scene before him. Like someone knocked the rose-coloured glasses that he thought he'd lost down in front of his eyes and the soft reds and pinks fill in gaps he didn't know were there. It's small, but it's there. It's tucked away in tilted postures and casual smiles and hand waving and looks and words.

Harvey and Shane aren't sitting side-by-side. They are positioned on the bench, nearly falling off, as they turn towards each other like polar-opposite magnets. The doctor's posture is straight, yet comfortable as if he's never known rigidity. He's attentive, as always, but some invisible forces glitters his eyes, unticks the smile beneath his mustache. It's toothachy.

Shane, on the other hand, is slouching in a way looks forced, but not by discomfort. After getting to know Shane in the way he has recently, he can recognize the put-upon casualness of someone unaware that their very existence is already loved astronomically beyond what is perceived possible. He's chatting like he hasn't a care, but it's so visible in the dramatics of his hands. Harvey's legs are crossed, but Shane's are open and one's bouncing, unable to be still.

Just now, his anxious leg brushes against Harvey's foot and settled by Harvey's hand on his knee. Shane's whole body seems to settle as his hands slow down, but don't stop, and his eyes don't make direct contant, but don't leave Harvey, either.

"They are just so," Sebastian struggles to find a word and makes a face, "ugh," He means it in an incomprehensibly positive way.

[chaomother]

Infinite being named Zero?? Absolutely adore that, and this 100% gave me ideas to bounce off of for this little AU / Scenario The resistance, or the organization Team Dark works for, would most likely hire the Jackal Squad months prior after catching wind of a possible take over plan by Eggman. Of course, the logical thing to do would be to hire the world's best mercenary; in this case, Zero as we dubbed Infinite here. I'd imagine that the MC in this case, would have been forced to work under Eggman as a superior, and a similar case to Shadow defeating Infinite in the prequel episodes would occur. But their fear would be mentioned instead - something they could have held insecurities about. In one way or another this would bring them to be the one to at least test the Phantom Ruby - most likely due to the lack of men on Eggman's side at the current point in time. Eggman would only allow the MC to 'keep' the Ruby upon seeing the illusions-turned-real created during the test of how limitless the power truly is. In comparison to Infinite's illusions, which are mind-boggling and show raw power, MC's would be...complex, detailed, and most importantly, filled with horrifying false-realities that become a temporary reality the more power they put into them. Quite literally, their fear being used as a weapon. The Ruby consuming them to the point where sometimes even they are unable to draw the line between what they've created, and what they had not. This would be the flaw that would have allowed Zero the chance to see past the threat that became of them, and possibly allowed the prototype to activate and respond to him, causing the reality MC created to disappear right as it was about to finish him off. What if Eggman's plan was to be enacted over a longer period of time due to MC not quite having the level of control Infinite did? Sure, their usage can be seen as "stronger" in comparison, but fear can very well cause them to falter. What if it was just enough time for Zero and MC to have another encounter? For Zero to take the first step into trying to help the MC? Maybe even for him to say something similar in message to what Sonic had said to them in the main storyline? What if, during Eggman's plan, the only reason MC was able to create the reality in which a sun(or even something worse in this case, like a black hole or supernova) had been because of the words Zero spoke to them. What if they only follow Eggman out of fear and a twisted sense of loyalty?? What if they had a type of relationship with Eggman that went far deeper then just - a business type / transactional(I'm imagining maybe orphan/adoptive parent type at the moment for this). I may actually make this my character's storyline now that I rambled about it long enough - 🌑

i am absolutely thriving off all this, you went into greater (and interesting) detail and i'm so happy you were able to get some ideas off my thoughts! i would love to read anything that comes out of this, i think it's fantastic♡

it'd be a great way to explore zero/infinite's character outside of the power-hungry husk we see him as for most of the main game—i can actually also see zero enjoying 'the challenge' itself of conquering MC helping MC overcome their fears and chains to robotnik as well

foxy also raised a great little blurb for the MC + robotnik relationship (eggman is incapable of not causing problems ver 390836) :

[beck-derringer]

Twin Session || Beck&Jude

Date: Tuesday, May 16th (Late Evening)

Location: Jude’s apartment

Notes: The Derringer twins smoke up and talk about real life stuff. (TW: Drugs)

Jude and Beck were lying on the rug in the middle of Jude’s living room, lying in opposite directions. Jude was off parenting duty for the night, so the twins did something they always loved doing when they had twin time - smoking very strong herbs Jude always had in supply that were imported from Kor’Sel’Koo. They were currently in a state where pushing the coffee table aside and just lying down on the floor was a great idea. It was very comfortable on the floor. It was also always when they were on herbs that the twins got extra philosophical.

“You know what I think sometimes,” Beck spoke, exhaling some smoke. “If we get the whole incapable of committing to relationships thing from the sperm donor.” She took another puff and exhaled. “‘Cos Mum is the complete opposite.” She raised her arm up towards Jude, attempting to pass the blunt to him. With some effort, Jude managed to take it.

“Probably,” Jude agreed, bringing the blunt to his lips. “That shit is genetic.” He took a puff before continuing. “Like, I think I love Molly.”

“Wait, what?” If Beck could, she would sit up right now. But the floor was too nice. So instead she tilted her head sideways toward his head, eyes wide open.

Jude gave an inebriated grin before taking another puff. He was quiet a few seconds after exhaling the smoke.

“Yeah. She’s the Mum to my kid. I guess it’s kinda hard not to.” A pause. “But I can’t give her what she wants. The big romance. The monogamy. It’s just not me.”

“No,” Beck agreed. “It’s not you.”

Jude appreciated the honesty. “Exactly. But what I realized is that I’m not giving her what she wants because I love her. Not because it’s what’s easy for me. How fucked up is that?”

“Pretty fucked up.”

They both laughed.

“Yeah,” Jude sighed. “You know, I used to wonder if that was why the sperm donor ditched Mum. For the same reason. Because he cared about her too much and didn’t want to put her through whatever fucked up shit was going on in his head.” He took another puff and exhaled. “But, the second Cleo was born, I knew that was bullshit. You don’t abandon the people you love. You try to be there in the way that you can be. So, I’m there for Molly and Cleo as a dad.”

“Damn Jude, who knew you were such a softie?” Beck teased.

Jude tilted his head towards Beck. “You did. You know everything.” He grinned. “Just like I know you’re also a softie.”

“Oh -” Beck reached up to give him a light smack on the nose. Not a precise position but it got her point across. “- fuck off!”

Jude laughed and pushed her hand out of the way. “Don’t bullshit me! We shared a womb, you know. The deal is you know everything about me the same way I know everything about you.”

There was silence for a few minutes. Then Beck sighed.

“I really don’t want to be. Feelings are extremely fucking inconvenient.”

“Oh?” Jude’s eyebrows raised slightly. It was very rare Beck ever mentioning anything about feelings. Really, the infamous crush on Daphne was the only time he heard anything like that. “Rebecca Elise Derringer, do you have a crush?”

Beck tried to smack him on the nose again, but Jude was quick enough to block it.

“What the fuck am I, twelve?” she growled. “I don’t do crushes.”

“Anymore? ‘Cos, just 'cos I feel like I’m floating right now doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about your old crush on D-”

“Don’t you dare!” Now she sent a flurry of sloppy smacks his way. She didn’t hit anything critical, but did cause a hysterically laughing Jude.

“Okay okay! I will not mention the D-word!” Jude exclaimed. Beck stopped her smacks for now. “Do tell. Is it someone on your crew? Anyone I met at the diner? Let’s see... quite of few of them didn’t strike me as interested in women. Oh, I got it - the nice, older Vanneer woman? She seemed your type.”

“Muffy?” Beck seemed surprised he would suggest that. “I mean, okay, Muffy is hot. But no. Nobody there.” She sighed again.

“But it is someone on your crew?” Jude smirked.

“It’s not someone. I don’t even fucking know. This is why I said feelings are inconvenient!”

“Here.” Jude passed her the blunt because God knew she needed it right now. “So you have a crush on multiple someones in your crew, is what I’m gathering here.”

“Please stop saying ‘crush’.”

“This is a wilder development than me having a whole baby. You never catch feelings for anyone, let alone multiple anyones!”

“It really doesn’t matter,” Beck huffed. “Shit completely blew up with one, and shit didn’t exactly blow up with the other but it was established we weren’t on the same level of ‘feelings’.”

There was silence because Jude was in complete shock. “Hooooly shit. Alright, right now. I need the full run down of whatever the hell you’ve been up to.”

Jude was completely unprepared for the full rundown of what Beck had been up to with both Gwen and Karmel. With plenty of blunt-passing in between.

“Damn Becca, you’ve been busy.”

“You couldn’t be further from the right person to talk about this,” Beck dryly cracked.

“Well, true! But I think what you also need is another you to talk you through this.” And Jude was the only person close to another Beck. They were of course different in a lot of ways, but if the whole twin-being-one-person thing were true, then yeah. “So, asking as a You, what do you feel like you want?”

Beck put an arm over her eyes and passed the blunt to Jude.

“Fuck if I know, Jude. This is why I prefer sex. Sex is uncomplicated. It feels nice, you finish, you move on ‘til the next time.”

“True,” Jude agreed.

“And I know me. When have I ever been happy the times I tried staying in a relationship?”

“Yuh huh.”

“Sticking with one person? Forever? I don’t think I’m wired for that.”

Silence.

“God,” Beck continued. “We really did get this shit from the sperm donor.”

They both started laughing. It wasn’t exactly funny, but they were pretty high, to be fair.

“I’m going to propose a theory but you have to promise not to try and smack me again,” Jude told her.

“I’m not promising that.”

Jude rolled his eyes. “What I think... is that the issue isn’t your unwillingness to commit. It’s your unwillingness to be vulnerable with other people.”

Beck removed her arm from her eyes. “What?”

Jude lifted a finger up. “When you were talking about this Gwen, you kept saying you didn’t give a shit but you being as pissed as you were indicated otherwise. And you kept downplaying how you felt when Karmel told you she didn’t feel the same way, but I know you Beck and you don’t just tell anyone you have feelings for them. You’re not as invincible as you try to come across.”

Maybe if Beck hit him hard enough he’d knock out. She was seriously considering this option.

Jude continued. “Maybe the sex with one person only bit you can’t commit to. Sure. But it’s not sex we’re talking about here. It’s that intimate connection with people you can’t deal with. You can’t stand anyone knowing you have weaknesses.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Beck snapped. This was no longer a fun conversation. “If I wanted a fucking therapy session, I’d pay a professional to do that for me. Not the damn middle school teacher who knocked someone up because he was too dense to put the rubber on.”

Jude was used to Beck getting defensive, so he wasn’t fazed. He merely smiled up at the ceiling.

“I love you, Becca. And I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

Beck didn’t really believe that. “Liar, yes you would.”

“I’m serious,” Jude assured her. “Life would be so boring without you. I won’t pretend I’m not hoping Cleo is significantly more chill than you are. But I hope she’s at least a little bit like you when you gets older.”

That was... really nice of him to say. Beck closed her eyes, feeling very tired of all the drugs.

“Yeah yeah, alright. I love you too. Galah.”

Jude laughed. Typical Beck.

[neonghostcat]

I have come to the following conclusion:

I am not allowed to estimate the length of any of my LiuShen fanfics. I seem to be literally incapable of it.

Even my four seasons story (Hundred Winters Grove) almost became more than four chapters, because I could not help myself. It did become something like double the estimated word count. And this was after I had originally thought I might be able to contain it in a single longish oneshot.

I'm normally fairly good at estimating how long a story will be, did you know? Sure, there's a margin of error either way, but I usually have a fairly good guess a chapter or two in, and that margin of error shrinks with each chapter.

LiuShen? It does the opposite.

(Behind the cut I try to rant entertainingly about my current project.)

This is what it's been like for The Guardian Ghost and the Bookish Fairy so far.

Original thought: How about a 4+1 oneshot of a ghost Liu Qingge protecting Shen Qingqiu? Here is a list of the four times he can protect SQQ. Okay, no, 5. Because that'd be funny. Okay, a 5+1 longish oneshot for my fake birthday! Perfect! I'll just skate quickly across the scenes and focus on the funny, cute, or romantic moments and done. Gosh, having this list is going to make it so much easier!

Next: No, it's taken over 1.5k words to just for Liu Qingge's qi deviation scene. We're looking at a multi-chapter for sure. Three chapters, then? Friendly thoughts (since he knows it's not the original SQQ), then attraction, and then resolution? Okay, I'll just map out the chapters for that and... outline complete. Now I may resume writing.

Then: This chapter is running a little long. I'll break this one into two parts. So it'll be four chapters. That'll cover the entirety of August, which is great, TBH. I should have a good idea of where I am in Cultivate by the time the last chapter posts.

Yesterday: ...how is my outline now at six chapters? How. I am running out of ways to title the chapters since my previous systems have broken. FFS, whatever, as long as it's vaguely the right idea go for it. At this rate, I'm going to have to add the tag "slow burn" to my tags draft. I refuse to tag this 5+1 because that idea is dead by now. Everything is out of control. Characters who were basically meant to be walk-on roles have entire scenes now. Everything is on fire. Dogs and cats living together - MASS HYSTERIA.

...on the plus side, I'm enjoying the story.

It's not nearly as funny as intended (scenes originally intended to be less than 500 words to reach a punchline are now treated more seriously or altered to be more than a goof), but it has its moments.

And, as I said, characters meant to be walk-on roles the equivalent of Guard 3 now have scenes.

Luo Binghe now merits his own tag mentions (Gray Lotus Luò Bīnghé & No Vinegar - just to confirm that he's not a bitter love rival in this fic... though maybe 'No Vinegar' isn't entirely accurate, just it's not Binghe who suffers from it). Shang Qinghua has the biggest role in this fic than he has in any of my fics so far. Perhaps put together. He'll go in the characters list. Liu Mingyan may also merit being tagged in the characters list...

TBH, it's a much better fic for it, but I despair of myself. This is exactly why Cultivate will be a monster. (But probably a monster that will get me chapters to post all through November while I do NaNoWriMo for a different story.)

I'm not in as much pain so I've been able to spend more time at the keyboard, which is useful because the wordcount keeps growing and the deadline moves ever-closer. And I do hate posting fics where I haven't finished them first. I'm currently on-track to finish the story by the end of the month, but possibly only if I continue to write ~3.5k+ a day this weekend. (At least I still have a week between the end of the month and posting day, just in case.)

PS: The scene that justified the Grey Lotus Binghe tag? I'm rather sad readers have to wait for that one.

[jinglejester]

Hi I am going around to everyone who reblogged that post with tags: please use this ask as an excuse to ramble about your ocs I want to hear about them

IM TALKING ABT MY FFXIV CHARACTER BC IM MAD FIXATED ON THEM AT ALL POINTS IN TIME. if i could i'd draw them but im literally incapable 🙏

alright, v'ohzua moshzeh is their (chosen :3) name, and i love then dearly. their voice claim is howl. they grew up in the south shroud in a seeker tribe, but actually hated the lot in life they had, and that was bc they're afab. female miqo'te usually mate (i hate that word w this context but it applies more than any i can think of at 6am when im still sleepy asf after 8 hours of working at a roller rink) with the tribe Nunh, which is the strongest male miqo'te with wife privilege. they did not want to live that way, not were they ever comfy with how they were perceived as a woman. they, at abt age 17-18, ran off with a friend from another seeker tribe, and they changed their name to v'ohzua moshzeh from their old one as a final nail in the coffin; I am not part of the tribe anymore. they and their friend began to essentially go wherever the wind took them, getting closer all the time, including a mutual (but unconfessed.) love. Romance?! No. he gets kidnapped by Garleans, the big bad in FFXIV: A Realm Reborn, and they had to, and as of currently still do, live with the knowledge of "I couldn't save him."

so they have to keep wandering, always hoping yo find their friend somewhere. along their wanderings, they met soft voice, a roegadyn white mage, who helped them Finally transition. Top Surgery Babey!!!! she's essentially v'oh's mom friend, and worries abt them constantly. and also, v'oh at some point was a ninja canonically, and tried to do smthn they thought would help their current crush/love interest au'ra friend! it backfired. tremendously. they lost sight in their left eye from a giant wound bc the target used their own dagger against them. when they told him, their au'ra friend almost beat them up, BUT DIDNT THANKFULLY!!, and they gave up being a nonja agter confiding in novra, a viera woman tbata ALSO a mom friend sometimes.

i rp w them, so their story be developing at all points until they Die (which won't be for awhile 😈) currently theyre a dancer and part of a traveling troupe, and bc of their hair, eyes, and tattoos they're considered the more "exotic" troupe member, and it gets them MONEYYY!! also the au'ra and novra are my friend's characters, and i love them both. puts them in my pocket.

[writtenbyevie]

ik it's kinda late... but... can i send you some elemental asks? 🥺

if yes, pls answer me water 💦, rock 🪨, spirit 👻, and fire ❤️‍🔥

if no, then pls take this heart and enjoy your day 💝

it's never too late for asks ✨!!

I'd like to think we are all lying on the floor of a blanket fort together in a sugar comas just talking aimlessly 💖 time does not exist in the metaphorical slumber party

but anywho, the elemental asks 💫

water: how long have you been writing?

I've been writing since I was a little kid (mostly original work until this past year)! Part of my love for it I think comes from my dad. He's a quadriplegic, so we bonded a lot through words. We'd make up songs together, watch movies, and read books a lot. He'd also always tell me the most elaborate, zany, bedtime stories (often half asleep) that we still reference to this day. Combine that with my very, very overactive imagination, obsession with reading, and general curiosity and you get a nine year old writing short stories with a glitter pen on the swing set during recess.

rock: how do you deal with writer's block?

It depends on the type of block. If I lack interest in writing, I've found listening to music or reading something similar to the piece I'm working, while sat at my desk helps. (I primarily try to write there versus my bed. It makes it easier for me to switch my brain into sport mode 🧠🖊️) Walks are also really nice. Get out of the shame loop that I'm not being productive, which only makes things worse. I've found giving myself the opportunity to create without forcing myself is what tends to help me the most.

Now, if I want to write, but my brain says nahhh, I'll do some of the aforementioned stuff, but my main trick is to brain dump. I just put random words on the page related to what I'm trying to say and piece them together into sentences. Literally just words. They don’t even have to be coherent yet. I do it until I can slowly put together the puzzle of my own thoughts.

In the end I think my best advice for writer's block comes from theatre teacher I had who once told me when I was stuck on a scene, "to just write it badly."

Write it badly. At least you wrote. No one can craft empty space into anything, but you can work a surprisingly amount of magic on a pile of shit.

spirit: what's the best compliment you've ever received on your writing?

my beloved isa asked me this earlier!! (tldr: when people think I could be published, or have a strong emotional reaction to my work ✨)

fire: what's a scene you're dying to write?

oh man SO many for star-stitched, which is the sakuatsu fic I'm currently developing.

I know I probably shouldn't do this, but here's a dialogue exchange between Kiyoomi and Atsumu that was part of the inspiration for the star-stitched. I wrote this MONTHS AGO on my phone. I cannot WAIT to write the full scene surrounding this exchange. I'm not providing any context cuz spoilers, but all you need to know is Atsumu has been hurt emotionally and some out of character soup on Kiyoomi's end is involved.

Atsumu: will ya just stop with this bein' nice shit?

Kiyoomi: (slamming a kitchen cabinet) For fucksake, I am not being nice. I am incapable of nice. I've been called many things in my life, ranging from mildly complimentary to completely condemning of my character. But nice? Nice has never been one of them. Now honest? That I have always been. First and foremost, I am called honest. At the end of day, sometimes that is all I have. All I can call my own. I am honest. And you do not get to take that away from me because the truth is incongruent with your baseless self-loathing. Fuck you! I am not nice. I am honest. Your crocs give you cankles; your cologne is too strong; you've never known the meaning of an indoor voice. You are crass and loud and incorrigible and impulsive and beautiful and kind and funny and brilliant and unequivocally and irrefutably deserving of love. I am not fucking nice. I am unabashedly honest and undeniably right. And I will stand here and scream at you, until you believe me.

Atsumu: That may take a while. And you aren't known for your patience.

Kiyoomi: But I am renowned for my resilience. I will not relent. I will not give up. I will not abandon you. I will win. You are worthy of love at a minimum, Miya Atsumu, and there will never be a maximum. Now eat your fucking soup.

ANYWHO!!

like usual, I ended up rambling. thank you so much for the ask cat. I am sprinkling love on your head like its pixie dust ✨💖