#cw: antidepressants

[artpharos]

I doubt she'd ever know that I'm going through antidepressant withdrawals. I doubt she'd even care, even though she's the reason I'm on them in the first place. To date, I've spent $4k in mental health support because of her, I've went through 3 years of constant breakdowns and psychosomatic pains, I FINALLY caught depression after years of her trying to convince me I had it, and now I'm going through antidepressant withdrawals with my brain buzzing every minute and she won't even acknowledge that any of what I feel- my anger, my grief, my heartache- is even REAL.

When she first hurt me 3 years ago she begged for me to stay, then said that all my reasons why I was angry at her for hurting me was because I was depressed. That nobody else in the whole goddamn world spotted said depression because I only trusted her the most. Whenever I asked her why she even wanted me in her life, she said she loved my fics and art, and couldn't put into words why she liked me. That she didn't tell people why she liked them AT ALL in case they stopped taking her seriously if she said it too much. So she never told me WHY she 'loved' me; what she even respected about me, something to actually give me some context for her wanting me in her life after she treated me like shit because 'we were so close so I thought you wouldn't take me snapping at you repeatedly seriously'.

So since she can't fucking tell me ANYTHING and just expects me to fucking read her mind cuz communication is for people who aren't close apparently, I think that's bullcrap and she just wanted me around because she didn't like the feeling of being called out for being an asshole. That she truly only ever cared about what I produced or what I gave to her (art, fics, someone to tell her how SMART she is), and not ME as a person. She didn't want to 'learn' how to deal with me if I really did have ADHD lmao and thought I just need to fucking get over my actual friend that I was supporting daily through their mental health struggles dying. Nevermind that my grandpa and another friend have died since I last spoke to her and I am still fine.

She kept talking about how she missed her friend and how I wasn't her friend. Fair enough, her friend would just roll over and suffer with a smile no matter how many times she hurt her. She kept saying how she wanted us to go back to how things used to be.

Truthfully? I wish she would just. Fucking apologise for hurting me all these years. But that's a pipe dream so frankly I just want her to do the fucking bare minimum and acknowledge my feelings are real. But see, if I tell her about my feelings and it hurts her because its not packaged in a nicely logical way, it's emotional manipulation and I intend to hurt her!! So like. Guess to her, nothing I ever feel is real.

She didn't want me to think of her as a horrible person and I didn't, not even after I finally named my pain. But her choosing to walk away, choosing to say none of this is real hence it can't be her fault- I can't still think of her as anything but horrible.

And she gets off scott free from any consequence while I continue to suffer because of her. It's fucked up.

I'll be fine, though. Withdrawals are nothing compared to the three years she put me through.

I wish she could be a better person. She can't, because she already thinks she's God's gift or something. I still wish; every god damn day.

[tangledinink]

Did leo deal with his pregnancy differently or was it the same as donnie?

Leo's pregnancy was very different from Donnie's! For him, quite frankly, the pregnancy was the easy part.

the really hard part came after.

[ ✩ the gemini ✩ ]

[reasonsforhope]

"One in five Americans will experience major depressive disorder in their lifetime, and many will not find relief from current therapies. But now researchers have identified an unexpected source of the problem: inflammation.

Inflammation in the body may be triggering or exacerbating depression in the brains of some patients. And clinical trial data suggests that targeting and treating the inflammation may be a way to provide more-precise care.

The findings have the potential to revolutionize medical care for depression, an often intractable illness that doesn't always respond to conventional drug treatments. While current drug treatments target certain neurotransmitters, the new research suggests that in some patients, depressive behaviors may be fueled by the inflammatory process.

It appears that inflammatory agents in the blood can break down the barrier between the body and the brain [and specifically the blood-brain barrier], causing neuroinflammation and altering key neural circuits, researchers say. In people at risk for depression, inflammation may be a trigger for the disorder.

Research suggests that only a subset of depressed patients - roughly 30 percent - have elevated inflammation, which is also associated with poor responses to antidepressants. This inflammatory subgroup may be a key to parsing out differences in underlying mechanisms for depression and personalizing treatment...

The inflamed body and the depressed brain

...A number of studies show that depressed patients tend to have increased inflammation compared with non-depressed subjects, including more inflammatory cytokines and C-reactive protein — which is produced by the liver in response to inflammation — circulating in the blood. Patients with autoimmune diseases have inordinately high rates of depression. And postmortem brain samples from people who died by suicide showed more activation of the brain’s immune cells, which release inflammatory agents.

Crucially, pro-inflammatory drugs can induce people to become depressed, which suggests a causative link. In one seminal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, Miller and his colleagues conducted a double-blind study of 40 cancer patients undergoing treatment with interferon-alpha, an inflammatory cytokine.

Though none of the patients had depression to begin with, the inflammatory agent had a striking effect: Many became depressed, a finding that has been consistently replicated.

"The patients recognize pretty much immediately that, 'Hey, you gave me something, and now I feel this way. I don't know why I feel this way,'" Miller said.

Can treating inflammation treat depression?

If inflammation can induce or exacerbate depression and its symptoms, then reducing inflammation could provide relief.

Even if inflammation is a disease modifier rather than the cause of the problem, “you have to take care of it in order for you to be able to get your therapeutics working to restore your circuitry and what’s happening in the mind,” said Eleonore Beurel, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.

Anti-inflammatory drugs, used alone or in conjunction with a standard antidepressant, may help some depressed patients. A 2019 meta-analysis encompassing almost 10,000 patients from 36 randomized clinical trials found that different anti-inflammatory agents, including NSAIDs, cytokine inhibitors and statins, could improve depressive symptoms...

“We’ve come to the tipping point,” Miller said. “And we know enough at this point to begin to target the immune system and its downstream effects on the brain to treat depression. We are there.”

How to manage your own inflammation

Experts agreed that people should not take anti-inflammatories without talking with their health-care provider. Your doctor can order a C-reactive protein blood test to measure your level of inflammation.

“There are so many patients who do not respond to antidepressants,” said Ole Köhler-Forsberg, a physician and associate professor of psychiatry at Aarhus University who has given anti-inflammatory drugs to his patients in addition to antidepressants. “So there is the issue of how can we improve the individual outcomes.” Tailoring treatment for each individual on a holistic basis may add some benefit.

More clinical tests for inflammatory markers may be a way to differentiate the effectiveness of antidepressant treatment. If confirmed, it would “be the first actual biomarker in psychiatry,” Raison said. “I mean, we’ve been looking for biomarkers for 50 years and had zero luck. And it’s ironic that it’s not a brain chemical.”

In the meantime, “you get much more mileage out of the lifestyle changes than you would out of supplements or any other over-the-counter drugs at this point,” Miller said."

-via The Washington Post (via Yahoo News), February 24, 2023

[nashvillethotchicken]

Lestat talking about Louis

[drarrymylove]

I JUST WENT TO PICK UP MY ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND MY PHARMACIST GAVE ME THESE. I told her I liked one of her pins and she took it off and gave it to me and replaced it with a new one. I...I think I'm—cured?

[frost-faerie]

Little follower fellers should I watch someone play ghost trick because I'm too poor to buy it

[thurio-edau]

dreamcore/traumacore posts but i wont delete them this time. i hope

trigger warning

[devilscastle69]

.

Ok so since I’ve weened off my antidepressants I’ve been so much hornier. Like I also have been able to feel my emotions and it’s not terrifying anymore. Idk this is too much for a snz blog but I was rlly suicidal last summer/fall and it was basically necessary for me to be on them. I don’t think they were the right ones for me to be on long time like after awhile I just became an empty shell and like had no sex drive and writing got hard and like idk. I just forgot who I was? Or something. Super weird. Maybe I’ll go back on meds sometime depending on how things are but I’m in a much better place. I’m not scared for my physical safety anymore

But yea being horny is the best I missed it sm

[curlyburp]

Day 1 of starting sertraline. Starting slow with 12.5mg. Slight nosebleed when blowing my nose but my apartment is dry so it's not completely unwarranted.

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 331

learn from my mistakes, yall.

[koteocannibal]

Vent

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Wondering if I'm even safe to throw my traumas to the void anymore considering my traumas are now a sexual fantacy. Go ahead you fucking sickos, jack off to me being abused and raped. Disgusting.

Do not repost anything.

[bittwitchy]

see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

[a-shooting-jade]

I have no enemies...

except duloxetine. duloxetine can eat absolute SHIT. took my first dose yesterday. fuck duloxetine.

exactly what the first comment says.

[the-fraye-area]

My doctor won't give me my muscle relaxers because I had a seizure.

The seizure was from upping my wellbutrin because I was/am horribly depressed and suicidal.

I have been on these muscle relaxers for fucking years.

Brilliant fucking idea taking your already suicidal chronic pain patient off one of the few things that's managed any of my pain.

I can't even vape right now and my tolerance is absolutely destroyed so edibles suck ass and are expensive and take ages to even kinda chill me out. That is not pain relief.

My heating pad also just finished dying so I am literally without any kind of relief.

I don't actually want to die I just don't want to be in fucking pain anymore and just ending the whole thing is super appealing but my family and my animals need me so I'm fucking stuck here.

[running-in-the-dark]

ah. I just realised that the new antidepressant is probably also what's making my nose bleed more often (again). I knew it causes dry eyes and dry mouth so I looked it up and yeah. it can totally make your nose dry too. so at least that's that solved I guess lol

[plusfuckingultra]

Time to play a game of :

Is my anxiety/panic tag team double damage attack an actual response to recent stress?

Because I had a singular cappuccino over 6 hours ago?

Or because I've forgotten to take my meds since Thursday night?