#cw: mentions of disordered eating

[lingeringmirth]

everything is better with you

Stranger Things | Steddie | Rating: T | Words: 314 | Angst, Established relationship, Rockstar Eddie Munson, Unhealthy coping mechanisms, insomnia.

cw: mentions of disordered eating.

Written for @whumpril day 6. dizziness | Also here on AO3.

Steve got up from his chair and the world swayed around him, making him grip the back of his chair for support. Strong arms came to steady him and his first instinct was to shake them off.

‘Eddie…’ he didn’t need it, he was fine. It would pass. It always did.

‘Sit your ass back down, Harrington.’

His last name only ever came out when Eddie was worried about him, which mostly presented as him being annoyed, yet, Steve knew, had learned to read people living as a survival skill in the Harrington house which had never felt like home.

Their little house in Chicago felt like home.

Eddie felt like home. But he’d been gone, had just gotten back from tour after four months of too many missed phone calls and Steve missing him like crazy.

He was pulled into Eddie’s arms and held, tight and loving, in the embrace of those wiry arms.

‘Again?’ Eddie finally asked.

Steve didn’t need to confirm, because Eddie knew. Had seen. The sleepless nights, the disordered eating, the running himself ragged so he’d be distracted from missing both Eddie and Robin, who was off studying at the Sorbonne. Eddie had seen it on his face the moment he’d come home but had given Steve a chance to tell about it on his own, a chance Steve hadn’t taken.

Eddie pressed a kiss to his temple. ‘Sweetheart…’

They stayed quiet for a moment, Steve at a loss for words, wanting to cringe away and hide. Eddie deserved better.

‘Right.’ Eddie broke the silence, running his hands up and down Steve’s back. ‘We’ll order some pizzas and then spend the rest of the day cuddled in bed and snoozing, how does that sound?’

‘Perfect.’

Everything was better with food in his stomach and Eddie in his arms and Steve vowed to not spiral again… like he always did.

[ayeforscotland]

Fucking Christ.

[angryfemcel]

I wonder what is inside my brain that makes me eat so much..

[cupcakedolly]

me doing stuff to keep myself busy so I don't eat:

[dietkolaa]

is this ED culture?

starting to have nightmares about eating again, and then waking up stressed.

[darkredbandages]

I do more eating than I do "disorder"-ing

[sparkiejumprpequeen]

can’t do this anymore i’m ashamed of even going out bc of the way i look

[yuanfensblog]

[dumbbitchdisaster]

When it feels like i did something wrong so i don’t eat to punish myself

[vaspider]

Hey, my fellow Jews with food restriction issues and eating disorders. I see you. I know it can be triggering to have to deal with elaborate food restrictions, and I know that oftentimes people who don't have to deal with this all the time can be really dismissive of how hard this can be for us.

It really isn't the same for someone with celiac or someone in recovery for ED as it is for people not grappling with that, and it's okay if it's too much and you lose your shit or fuck up and eat something you "shouldn't." It's okay if it's really really hard and you feel alone.

You aren't alone, and this isn't supposed to hurt. Please take care of yourself first, body and soul. You can't make it to next year, wherever you may be then, if you don't take care of yourself first, okay?

HaShem does not command us to hurt ourselves, and in fact commands the opposite.

Get rid of the Pharoah in your head whose hard heart asks you to hurt yourself. Be free. It's okay.

[b3llxedblog]

i just want to be pretty.

[dietkolaa]

ate nothing again today

i can feel the fat melting away, so far i've lost over an inch from my waist.

[dumbbitchdisaster]

Full stomach= nasty feeling, nauseating, disgusting, fat pig, uncomfortable

Empty stomach= beautiful, angelic, comforting, it girl, worthy, confident