#darn it i might have to be the one to figure out doing that- darn it-

[tittysuckersworld]

why are there no 4 people poly templates????????

[matrixbearer2024]

Get Off My Screen!

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: I'm doing this cuz someone wanted to see my shitposty idea hahaha, I hope it's not too OOC but oh well- I hope someone could write a proper fic with this since I don't trust my writing much HAHAHAHA

A/N: I'll also be doing this from the reader's POV for now. Just message me or request if you wanna see Vox's POV since it might be too long if I include his thingy in this post XD

College life is fun, do doubt about that; from the parties to the friends you make- it truly was unforgettable.

Even if you did study a lot, wanting to get high marks- you had time to indulge every once in a while and goof off with friends.

It made you a star student on paper- but nearly bordering troublesome with your chaotic behavior.

You were lucky to never have been caught with their shenanigans.

But of course your friends just had to push it.

A new ghost hunting hype trend surfaced online and they were convinced that they had to get into it.

You said it was a bad idea, getting into stuff you didn't know.

Your friends brushed you off and all piled into the attic of your parents' home.

Of course, your parents were more than happy to explain some things before leaving your group to their devices.

They've been messing with the... "paranormal" for most of their lives.

You just chose not to believe it.

It wasn't like there was proof aside from heresay anyways.

Your friends proceed to mess with the ouija board they found, among other probably possessed things.

You found it all way too creepy to be honest.

Especially that old CRT TV that was just sitting in the corner.

It was an old thing you remembered using, but it always glitched and stuttered when you were a kid.

Even if there wasn't actually anything wrong with it according to the technicians that tried to fix it over the years.

Your friends started screaming before you could really reminisce.

"WHO'S MOVING IT?!"

"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING-"

"IT'S MOVINNGGGGGGG-"

The fact the ouija board was actually reacting slightly freaked you out.

You managed to calm your friends from bombarding the thing with questions before asking what actually mattered.

"What's your name?"

V... O... X...

That didn't sound like a demon name you were even vaguely familiar with, at least off the top of your head.

Then of course that creepy TV from your childhood turned on by itself.

Your friends were screaming bloody murder at this point.

You didn't even realize the fuss until you saw the darn thing was unplugged.

You freaked out too, bolting down the attic stairs with your friends quickly in tow.

It was smooth sailing afterwards, your parents assuring you that nothing would happen.

Your friends stayed for dinner until they had to go.

You were about to retire for the night as well until you realized you couldn't find your phone.

Everywhere you looked, it wasn't there.

That left one place.

The attic.

By the time you gathered the courage to return, everything seemed just fine.

The TV was finally turned off, how and why- you didn't bother enough to know.

So you picked up your phone off the floor and just headed to your room.

Only to practically get jumpscared when you opened your phone.

WHO PUT A FRIGGIN WEIRD GLITCHY SMILEY ON YOUR WALLPAPER?!

Annoyed, you switched it back before plugging it into the charger.

Come morning, you had a bone to pick with your lot of friends.

Because not only was your phone stuck with the wallpaper problem, soon were all your devices.

You tried everything, restarting your stuff, running an antivirus, even getting it professionally checked.

Nothing.

And the problem continued to persist.

Now at your wits' end, you figured whatever entity was messing with your gadgets could at least converse with you through said gadgets.

So you opened a blank notepad on your laptop, nearly glaring at the screen while waiting for something to happen.

Five minutes passed and nothing happened.

"OH YOU CRAPPY PIECE OF TECH JUST DO SOMETHING!"

Even more waiting and still nothing.

Eventually you just decided to type something up on the notepad in impatience.

"I know you're in there. Stop messing with me."

And to your surprise, something finally replied.

"Oh I know, you're just fun to mess with doll."

What. The. Fuck.

And that was how you met him.

Vox, the tech overlord demon, months ago.

When he infected your phone, then consequently the rest of your electronics too.

Since then he's been an annoying thorn in your side.

Well... or even a welcome distraction.

Maaaaybe even an odd Omegle Buddy?

Who even still does those?

Either way, you never had to use spellcheck again whenever doing your work.

Nor did you consult Google as often either.

As rude and annoying as he was, Vox was quite helpful when it came to paperwork.

Not that you didn't know much about him, on some days you would both just chat using the notepad.

He hated some radio guy named "Alastor"?

You would laugh if you weren't so tired.

Depending on Vox's mood, he was either tolerable or a downright prick.

Fighting over control of the cursor was also pretty common occurrence.

Vox practically living in your gadgets forced you to learn at least basic software care and programming.

The guy also ended up sorting your files!

You'd be more thankful if he wasn't so bitchy about your file arrangement anyway.

It wasn't that bad.

You want to call him your virtual friend- but he's more like an annoying virus that throws hissy fits from time to time.

Even if said hissy fits were either excessive amounts of lag or mostly obstructive visual glitches and pop ups.

The little shit was also constantly messing with you during class.

Not that he cared enough even if you told him you were, he'd still be messing with your notes or even your files every now and then.

You stopped trying to change wallpapers after you realized he kept switching them back to his grinning face.

Let's not even mention his multitude of custom emojis stuck in your device.

How that got there, you didn't care enough to figure out.

What a weirdo.

Though him constantly interacting with your software gave you an idea.

You saw your friend fawning over a thing called a "desktop pet" just a little ago in class.

They chose to get a virtual slime.

It piqued your interest after you saw it was interactive too.

And knowing that Vox liked to mess with your operating systems a lot, you decided to try and get one to see what he'd do.

You got the basic one, just a random anime "chibi" or so it was labeled on the website.

It walked around and did some emotes before a notepad opened up with a message.

"What the fuck is that."

"My new desktop companion, do you like it?"

You didn't get a reply so you just left to grab a snack.

You weren't even surprised with what you came back to.

Vox was already using the cursor to bully the desktop pet you downloaded.

Either throwing it around or just repeatedly spam clicking it so it fell over.

The sonova bitch-

You kind of expected it, just leaving Vox to do his thing while you went to take a nap.

Only, you didn't realize you would be coming back to a new custom desktop pet and an open note.

"You're welcome~"

If that was what Vox looked like, you couldn't deny it was cute.

Or at least the small desktop pet made it seem so.

It was a striking design for sure-

Did he have a monitor for a head??

Oh that explains the face on your screen wallpapers.

You didn't realize until too late that Vox could interact with you using the desktop pet either.

Sometimes the things he did were cute with it, like the emotes that were installed on the thing.

Or he was just a little shit closing your windows or dragging them off screen before you could notice and stop him.

He was an annoying bastard-

But you kept him around anyways.

A/N: I really had fun writing this thing, it hasn't gone romantic since I didn't know if I wanted it to go that route so this is more of a friendly thing? Either way I might write Vox's POV sooner or later this was a really fun idea HAHAHAHA

A/N: Vox's POV is here!! :3

[kicktwine]

im a carpenter and a mage, right? im gonna make arenvald one of those walking wheelchairs. From witch hat. gods know wheeling around eorzea is impossible, especially gridania, NOT built for disabilities at all, and you’re going to be wandering around anyways so might as well give it hooves I think. I’ve got time. provided someone else helps me figure out how to enchant the darn thing. prototypes and all! what do you think alphy hooves or paws. maybe I could ask cid about an automaton type thing so it doesn’t have to… eat? Would a familiar have to eat it if doesn’t have a mouth? brb I gotta find matoya again

[coralinnii]

Hello to you! I was wondering if you were taking requests. I just had a prompt I thought you might like! Any characters you'd like, with an s/o who can and will get violent easily if someone disrespects the love of their life? Like someone calls cater fake and suddenly a chairs getting thrown at their head. I'm sorry for asking, I just thought this was funny :)

❋ Feral!MC who defends their man ❋ feat: Epel ⭑ Ace ⭑ Cater ⭑ Malleus genre: fluff, humour note: gn!reader, no pronouns used with reader, established relationships, reader is implied to be magicless, depictions of physical fighting and violence (punching, kicking, etc),

So, I usually just randomly pick a set of 4 characters but this worked out so well it was hilarious.

All his life, Epel feels underestimated due to his fragile-looking appearance and stature. He spent his early adolescence running amok to prove himself a man but since meeting Vil, he’s learning to hold himself back. 

But that doesn’t mean his situation has changed. There will always be one or two schoolmates that continue to demean him for his looks. 

“You Pomefiore wimps are all the same. What, too afraid to get your makeup ruined?” 

Oh, there is nothing Epel wants more than to give these jerks a piece of his mind, but nothing these guys can say would compare to what Vil would do if he starts a fight here so he chose to turn his cheek on their superficial comments. 

Sadly, the offenders did not appreciate that as they started to grow red over being ignored and started raising their magic pens when… 

“Ooff!” One of the grunts fell to his knees clutching his lower half, revealing you standing behind him with a look that could scare the campus ghosts.  

“The hell is manly about picking on someone minding his own business?!” You seethed in fury as you glared at the wounded student and his friend helping him. “Epel has more manly qualities in his pinky than you do in your whole body, including that sad manhood” You sneered at the term, barely believing one could call any part of them “man”. 

You stepped closer to the two male students, one of them covering his already injured equipment. With an air of barely contained wrath, you stomped your foot extremely close in front of the fallen student, right between his legs “Leave before I make sure that you two will be walking weird for the whole school year” Your eyes glinted with not a threat, but a promise. 

With the two bullies running off, you looked to Epel. Gone was the fury in your eyes but rather concern. 

He really shouldn’t be, but darn it if he wasn’t proud of you. He wanted to praise you so much for how amazing you were. He knows now that violence is not the best option but it sure makes you look cool.

If he were his younger self, he’d have been embarrassed that someone fought his battles for him but he knew you do it out of love and never because you didn’t think he couldn’t defend himself. He’s learning new forms of power, and your willingness to fight for him was another side to strength he didn’t have growing up. 

Epel swore to continue growing up, to appreciate the strengths he found such as you, and to someday be strong enough to protect you forever.

“We can’t let Vil hear about this, but that was super cool! Ya sure spook ‘em good!” 

Ace is a cheeky bast*rd. Sure, he knows when he should shut up but when push comes to shove, he’s not afraid to say how he really feels and doesn’t care how he can come across to others. Due to that attitude, he has made a few enemies that don't appreciate his words and like him, aren't afraid to tell him that. 

“Who are you to say that about us? Acting like you’re better than us, get off that high horse of yours!” 

Ace rolled his eyes over the student’s weak insult but did nothing. Something like this isn’t worth getting hurt over. The redhead was about to put on his fakest smile and ready to satiate the poor kid’s ego but suddenly a blurry figure breezed past him and straight at the student who started this commotion. 

And the sound of something solid hitting flesh rang through the hallways

Loud gasps and curious whispers filled in as students saw that you landed a straight punch on the other student, who’s sitting stunned on the floor.

“If you didn’t do stupid sh*t, then maybe Ace doesn't have to call you out on it!” 

Boy is smug af over you getting all feral and defending him like that. Watching someone he likes fight for him and getting angry on his behalf tickles his heart. How many guys can say his lover would beat someone up for him? Ace felt shivers down his spine seeing you all fiery and angry for his sake, yelling at the dumbfounded student how Ace doesn’t have to be nice to anyone who doesn’t deserve it. 

“And at least Ace has a brain to think before doing something stupid unlike you morons! Talk sh*t, get hit!” Seeing you angrily compliment him is strangely attractive to the Heartslabyul freshman that he rather push to the back of his mind to ponder at a later date. 

As your voice got louder as your fury burned, which Ace feared might catch the attention of a teacher or worse, his housewarden. 

Always quick on his feet both metaphorically and physically, Ace used the chaotic situation to run in between the crowd and escape his enemies before a teacher ended up showing up just as he predicted. When the coast is clear, Ace will definitely tease you on your little feral child moment.

Great job, you really stroked this kid's ego 

“You sure got scary all for lil ol’ me~ You love me that much, huh?”

Cater knows how some people see him, what they say about him but he doesn’t care since in the end he doesn’t affect him that much. Words from a couple of rando people means little to him. 

It was an uneventful day, when he heard a couple of classmates whisper behind his back, words like “fake” and “clout-chaser” made purposely clear for anyone, including him, to hear. 

“Talk about vibe killers” The laid-back senior thought, a sting of annoyance managing to build in his heart. It doesn’t crush him but still, having someone insult you never feels good. 

He was planning to take the high road, pretend not to hear them and walk away when he heard a commotion from that direction. When Cater turned around, he nearly dropped his phone when he saw you…with your hands in a vice grip on one of the jeering student’s hair. 

“Say that again, I dare you!” You screamed as you looked ready to turn the poor boy bald. “Show off that loser behavior so everyone can see!” 

The student in your grasp was helpless and not even his friend could help him because any attempt made to you only made you tighten your grip on his locks. 

“You don't know anything about Cater, how can you call him fake?! He’s considerate and always makes sure not to make anyone uncomfortable, unlike you motherfu-“

You couldn’t finish your sentence as smoke started filling the space, which sent everyone in the vicinity in a state of chaos thinking a fire had started. Surprised, you released the fool in your grasp and in that moment you felt someone pull you away from the smoky mess. In your angry confusion, you nearly restarted your assault when you recognized the familiar light ginger locks and charming green eyes through the fading smoke. It was Cater that pulled you away from the crowd before a teacher finally showed up and cleared the smoke spell he casted.

You nearly gave Cater a heart attack. The last thing he wants is for you to get in trouble or worse, have a target on your back due to your fiery temper. Secretly, he felt a sense of guilty pleasure knowing how fired up you get for someone like him, plus that wild side of you is scarily appealing to him. 

Even if he prefers to hide things with a smile, he worries for your safety more than anything. He has a plethora of ways to get himself out of a bad situation so he hopes you could trust him a bit more.

He might not be able to stop you from getting into fights for his sake, but at least let him protect you when you do

“Hoo boy, that was a close one! You gotta trust me a little more, you know?~”

When Malleus saw you walking back to your dorm one late night, thunderous clouds quickly formed as he noticed bruising on your face and hands, obviously from a scuffle. 

“Who is responsible for this?” Malleus spoke calmly but the dangerous strikes of lightning raining down in the far distance spoke volumes of his true emotions. 

You shrugged your shoulders, trying to downplay your injuries as you explained that you got into a fight with a couple of students earlier that day. Malleus was curious but you looked tired and decided to let you rest for that night

Malleus heard later from Lilia that you suddenly tackled a bunch of students when you overheard them speaking ill of the dragon fae, saying how he only earned his housewarden title purely because of his powers and not due to skills or competence. 

Ok, let’s make it clear. Anybody who dares to insult Malleus definitely has a death wish, with the exception of Leona. Being one of the most powerful mages of his time and having a loyal group of guards that isn’t afraid to take someone down, anyone with survival instincts would think twice before talking sh*t about the heir of Briar Village. 

But this is true everywhere, there is always that tiny group of people that dare to speak nonsense, acting as though their actions won’t have consequences. 

Hah, they thought. 

The students who witnessed the fight recalled the sheer rage exuding from you as you continued to pummel on the target of your wrath. You were finally pulled away by a teacher and was sent to Crowley's office, which explained your late return. 

“They don’t know anything! They don’t see how hard you’re trying to understand humans for the future of fae-human relations. The lessons and training you do to someday lead your kingdom, they know none of it. None at all!” 

Malleus has Silver and especially Sebek who would yell at anyone that would even dare to breathe weirdly in Malleus’ presence, so naturally hearing that a fight broke out because someone supposedly disrespected him is a common story for him. But this was the first time he heard it was you who started the fight in his honor. 

He brushed against your cheek, where your bruise was before he quickly healed it. He wondered if humans were all reckless when in love like you were. He should reprimand you, tell you that such violence is unnecessary as petty hate is nothing to him.

Although, supposed if he were in your position, he wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t do the same, perhaps even worse. Afterall, you were his precious treasure. 

This man won’t care who started the fight, he’s smiting anyone for trying to harm you in any way (A red flag but a confusing one) 

“I would prefer you avoid such conflicts in the future, my dear. Not for your sake, but for theirs if I learn of the fools who dare lay a hand on you”

[suspiciouscharacter1895]

Good Omens Fic List

At this point, I have produced 11 14 Good Omens fics. If that's the sort of thing you enjoy, peruse my catalog! All these are Crowley/Aziraphale, and most feature angst, cathartic love confessions, and smut (though not all). Have a suggestion? Love one of them? Let a girl know. I love doing this, and I love connecting with people who care about this universe as much as I do. I truly hope you enjoy!

See AO3 for full tags.

No Nightingales (T, 14.7k) Post S2 - It's been a year since Aziraphale left Crowley on Earth and neither of them are faring very well. A moment of crisis brings them together again, and this time it's up to Aziraphale to save Crowley. Plot heavy, mature themes but no sexual content.

Whatever You Want (E, 3.5k) Smutty little sequel to No Nightingales but can absolutely be read as a standalone. Aziraphale works through some guilt and Crowley works through some wish fulfillment. Gentle and loving first time.

Something I Can Do For You (E, 3.2) Post-bullet catch (1941), Aziraphale grapples with the implications of realizing he is in love with his best friend. Lighthearted, loving, slightly desperate first time.

Quite Sure (E, 2.7k) Can be imagined as a sequel to Something I Can Do for You, but doesn't rely on it in any way. Established relationship set 10 years after the bullet catch. Considers when Crowley fell for Aziraphale, featuring meditations on the whole thing with Job and sweet lovemaking, with Aziraphale taking care of Crowley.

Worship in the Bedroom (E, 3.6k) Post-S2 - Aziraphale is back from Heaven and he and Crowley are hiding from Heaven and Hell. No plot really, but lots of worshipful, healing, sensual sex, with Crowley working through some angst and being cared for as he deserves.

The Whole Darn World Seemed Upside Down (E, 5.2k) Post-S1 - Crowley has unresolved feelings he needs to work through. If only he were good at the whole vulnerability thing. Angst and mild conflict, followed by love confessions and...well you know.

Tempt Me (E, 6k) Set in an unspecified future when they figure it all out and are happy together. A fun little romp with Aziraphale being very into Crowley tempting him. Like VERY into it. Light dom/sub elements.

If You Like (E, 4.4k) Set the night of the failed S1 Armageddon. Aziraphale goes back to Crowley’s flat and both of the boys are forced to deal with some long-repressed feelings. If only they were better at talking. Angst-heavy, especially for Crowley.

Worth Knowing (E, 3.6k) Sequel to If You Like set after the Ritz. Aziraphale thought everything would change after they slept together, but everything seems to have gone back to normal. If Crowley isn't going to do anything about that, Aziraphale will. Happy ending! Loving, soft, sweet, love confessions.

Flashes of Love (G, 3.2k) NO SEX TOTALLY WHOLESOME. Set a few weeks after the averted Second Coming (which all worked out fine) in a world where they are happy and together. Aziraphale has an inkling that Crowley may be able to sense and share angelic love in a way most demons can’t. Crowley agrees to give it a shot.

Forgive Me (E, 1.6k) LOTS OF SEX NOT AT ALL WHOLESOME. Post S2 - Aziraphale muses on what he should want from Crowley, and what he actually wants. Both rough and gentle sex follows, entirely imagined by Aziraphale. Heavy angst, please check tags.

My Angel (E, 2k) Companion to Forgive Me, from Crowley's perspective. Pieces can be read in either order or independently. What he should want his first time with Aziraphale to be, and what he actually wants. Both rough and gentle sex follows, entirely imagined by Crowley. Heavy angst.

Might As Well Do It Properly (E, 5.7k) What if Shax and the demon horde didn't show up at Aziraphale's Regency ball? Maybe Aziraphale would use some leftover magic in the air to do something he's been meaning to do for a long time. Gentle, loving first time (with dancing!).

I Need You (E, 3.8k) What if Crowley and Aziraphale were together before the events of S2? What if Aziraphale left anyway? What if he came back, just for one night? Angsty, sexy.

[shakirawastaken]

dsmp if... they were spiderman

i love spiderman just like every other bitch out there

dream: - do not be surprised if he comes out one day and claims hes a demigod and superhero and a wizard - cause if its anybody its this guy fr - if he was spiderman he wouldnt have the main and basic color scheme - hed go green like everything - green is the main color like the evermore green and black/white as the accent colors - his string also wouldnt be normal spider string i feel like itd be neon ish like miguels from the movie - he would also avoid telling you that he was spiderman till the very last moment - he would wanna keep you safe the best he can - would nEVER swing by your house - but he keeps an eye out on you when he knows ur out and about walking - but when you eventually figure it out? boy oh boy - cornering you in the street and pushing you into an alleyway - spiderman poses in front of you, hanging from his web - gives you upside down kisses???? sign me tf up - hed also get himself just the right amount involved in the crime he fought - he knows how to balance his life out, and he knows how important it is to be able to balance his life out like that - hot as spiderman  sapnap: - a reckless spiderman - leans vigilante  - out of all of them he would be the one with the suit closest to the spiderman - but im not feeling the blue - marroon and black or some other brighter color - a rash spiderman - fights crime like no business, but kinda makes a mess along the way - its okay bc the people love him - loves loves LOVES arguing with cops - tells you almost immediately after becoming spiderman bc he has to tell someone - breaks every canon event - trash talks every criminal out there - but is nice to every citizen he sees - likes webshooting your wrist to the counter or something so you cant leave or go out or smth - forces you to spend time with him :) - likes to keep out of interacting with people as spiderman  - but will use it as argument bait in day to day life - makes a hammock out of webs and lays there between two buildings - overall 7/10 spiderman

george: - is barely spiderman but when he is hes darn good at it - he leaves a lot of the petty crime to the cops - only goes out for the big stuff - dark navy blue suit with black accents - stays in the shadows/on top of buildings - doesnt interact with anyone if he can help it - the more secretive he can keep the better - he told you a fair amount of time after he went out as everyones crime fighting superhero - but he doesnt like to talk about being spiderman  - and youre fine with that, as long as he stays safe - he swings to your window every night after hes done being spiderman - hed rather be with you than someone else after the hard night hes probably had - has a habit opening your window without knowing and jumpscaring you accidentally LMFAO

karl: - oh he LOVES BEING SPIDERMAN - hes the spiderman to be on every cereal box and phone cover and talk show - loves taking pictures especially with little children in their own spiderman costumes - after he captures and ties up every criminal he leaves a little goofy aah note for the cops to laugh at - unlike sapnap he has a great rep w the cops  - he told you after he “test” ran it - actually he just showed up with the mask on and you were like “SPIDERMAN OMG LET ME CAL MY BF” - and then spidermans phone was ringing and you were like - “what” - “im spiderman!” - “WHAT” - his suits like - i feel like it changes color in the sun - its one of those suits - and hes the only one out of all to have an assistant ai thing in his suit to lead him through crime - he might be a more light hearted spiderman but he still deals with the same dangerous crime

quackity: - this guy loves to swing - he will put his headphones on and jump off the nearest building - mona lisa by dominic fike - soars to the ground and then swings up at the last moment - swings to the beat of the music to relax - he has the normal suit i think - but he has his hair comin out of the suit like pavitr  - loves to take you swinging - even if you may find it terrifying - he likes the feeling of sharing with you his favorite activity - fights crime like no ones business - he told you like a few months after being spiderman - he just jumped down from the ceiling  - “? what” - “spiderman!” - “...what” - yeah  - idk all i can think of is that quackity likes to swing around the city just for the heck of it - “WOAH ITS SPIDERMAN” “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” 

wilbur: - has a black suit like miles - tommy is his guy in the chair LMFAO - in his ear like “SWING LEFT I MEAN RIGHT I MEAN LEFT” - mutes tommy half the time - leaves you little messages in web on the walls of the house - “love you!” but its in spider web - actively holds a conversation with the people hes fighting - “so hows your day?” *PUNCH* “hows ur kid doing?” *OBLITERATES* - uses physics and shit to his advantage cause hes not that built - another one whos hot as spiderman - never EVER brings you out as spiderman - EVER - will bring tommy tho - cause tommy annoys him into doing - “BIG UPS WILBUR!!” “SHH TOMMY” - is spidermans biggest fan even though hes spiderman - “they will never suspect spidermans biggest fan as spiderman!” - smart ngl 

guys all i can think about is spiderman its a dilemma an issue a problem  sorry for the short headcanons i had to get my thoughts out of the way!

[hotheadedhero]

Not sure if you're taking requests so feel free to ignore this, but I was wondering how the 2012 turtles would react to an S/O that swears a lot 🤣

My first ever request! And an absolutely hilarious one at that 😂 I love this so much, thank you! This is right up my street!

S/O that swears... a lot

Warnings: bad language but you coulda guessed that :]

2012 Turtles x Reader

Leonardo

He loves you but he wishes you didn't have such a vulgar tongue. This poor guy has no idea what to do, in all honesty. Leo isn't even sure if there's anything he can do. You swear when you're happy just as much as when you're upset.

There's nothing malicious in the way you go about it. He knows this and he knows you harbour no ill intent but he will try to coerce you into at least swearing less. Unfortunately, he realises that this is a futile attempt given it's practically your second language.

Eventually, he learns to suck it up and gets used to it because, gosh darn, he just loves you that much.

Raphael

Doesn't even bat an eye considering his family has to interrupt him before he speaks crudely. He doesn't get why. They're just words with negative associations, after all. The two of you are a massively bad influence on each other, unintentionally encouraging the other to exercise their foul mouth.

It certainly makes banter very interesting, to which the rest of the Hamato family are made either uncomfortable or concerned. Raph has no idea what the problem is. Minus their father, they all grew up in New York, for crying out loud!

At least you two get each other in that respect.

Donatello

May occasionally flinch with the odd swear here and there but doesn't seem to mind too much overall. Even he has some colourful expressions of his own. Sure, his own versions of obscenities are very much more family-friendly but he kind of gets it. "By Darwin's beard" is a prime example.

Donnie isn't one to frequently budge at your choice of vocabulary but he'd be lying if he said he isn't impressed with your creativity.

"What the fuck?! Pavlov's dog could figure this shit out!"

As crass as it is, that might be a personal favourite that often has him humoured.

Michelangelo

Incredibly shocked at first but he doesn't think any differently of you. This guy does not care one bit. You could have two heads and that wouldn't change a thing. At the end of the day, he loves you no matter what.

Someone may need to keep an eye on things, however. Don't forget - Mikey is impressionable when it comes to phrases, let alone the profanities that carelessly fall past your lips. If he's to accidentally repeat one of these words, it's not just his brothers you'll need to worry about getting an earful from.

Splinter will be all up in your case, so be mindful if you want to avoid a stern lesson in the dojo.

Also, just to put it out there, I'm happy to take requests! Just headcanons for now, however. I have so many stories to write and want to get them out before taking on ideas from all you lovelies :)

[frost-queen]

To his liking (Reader x Steve Raglan /W. Afton)

Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @venomsvl, @the-uncoordinated-house-cat, @rosecentury,  @imagines-by-her,  @evilcr0ne, @vviolynn

A/n: This is my first time doing something for this fandom. I hope it is any good as I didn't have much time for my regular request so I whipped something up. Summary: In need of a new job you find yourself at Steve Raglan's office hoping he would find a job for you. [part 2 & part 3 ]

Your knee trembled nervously. Sweaty palms rubbing against your legs. You had read the posters in the little waiting room numerous times. All silly adds with cheesy lines. Your gaze drifted to the left where an elderly lady was typing loudly in her computer. Her face hidden behind the big box of a screen. The smell of her coffee adding a new scent to the already muffy smelling room.

You seated yourself better, feeling that your bottom had been hurting from sitting on that darn wooden stool for what seemed ages. Four wooden stools lined up against the walls in order to wait. Beside the stool on your right was a small table with old magazines. At least dated from five years back. Looking back around you started to wonder why you were even her. Yet the answer was very clear.

This was your last chance. Your last chance at making a change. Rubbing your sweaty palms over your legs again, you let yourself slouch down in the chair. Just a few more minutes and you might call it off. Simply get up and walk out as you weren’t getting anywhere. Waiting for ages. Waiting for that wooden door to finally open and allow you to meet your future.

The clock ticking almost tauntingly by the minute. It was agonizing to wait this long. It was almost as if they were testing your duration. See how long you would stand with it before throwing in the towel. Sighing again you moved your bottom to the back of the stool, leaning forwards. Palms in your hair. The lady behind her desk kept typing loudly without a care or notice of you.

This was it. You had enough. Leg shaking nervously. You jumped up with a deep breath. At the same time you got up, opened the wooden door. No one standing in the door opening. It made you stare at the door wondering if anyone else before you would head out.

A slim figure wearing glasses opened the door more standing in the opening. – “Y/n Y/l/n just who I was expecting.” – he said moving a bit back to create an opening. Somehow you kept staring at him. He chuckled waving you over. – “Come, come don’t be shy. I don’t bite.” – he teased with half a smirk.

Walking up to him you saw the lady behind the compute follow your movement with her head. Her expression dull and neutral. Pausing briefly in the door opening you looked up to the man. He smiled invitingly at you. With one soft breath you entered more as the door got shut behind you. – “Please, sit.” – he offered gesturing at another one of those uncomfy chairs. You sat down looking around his office. He walked behind you across towards the coffeemaker. You kept your gaze in front of you, pressing your hands between your legs.

A name clip standing on his desk. Raglan it read. Steve Raglan. – “Coffee?” – you heard him call out. Humming loud you snapped out of your little thought bubble. – “Oh uhm no thank you.” – you answered moving your hands away. Raglan went to his desk, sitting down across from you. He set his coffee mug aside. He leaned a bit back taking a file from his desk. He opened it leaning fully back.

Taking a deep breath, he rubbed his finger over his beard and mouth. You kept a close eye on his expression. His seriousness when his eyes trailed over the words. The way you felt a bit shy around him. He took a soft gasp of breath leaning forwards to the desk, laying your file down. – “I’m going to be honest with you Y/n… may I call you Y/n?” – he asked looking over at you.

You nodded hesitantly with a flush in your cheeks. – “With your record of work, it won’t be easy to find someone that would like to hire you.” – he said making you swallow nervously. – “Yelling and cursing at a parent.” – he read out loud with a slight shake of his head. – “Calling them a pervert and kicking them in the…” – he stopped as his gaze went up to you. – “Delicate area’s.” – he added waving his hand down his stomach to show you.

“That is unacceptable behaviour Y/n.”  - he went on picking up your file again. – “He had it coming.” – you mumbled. Raglan curling up a smile. – “I’m sure he did.” – he responded as it startled you that he had heard you. – “I’m not hear to judge you Y/n but that wasn’t your first fall-out.” – he looked down at your file, flipping a page.

And another one. – “You have a history of being violent.” – his gaze flashed up to you. Was there a hint of a smile on him? Did your violent history amuse him? He placed the file down again leaning forwards as he folded his hands before him. – “It’s not going to be easy for you Y/n.” – his words echoing like doomsday in your mind. Were you done for it?

“So you got nothing for me?” – you asked trying to hide your fear of having nothing. Raglan licked his lips leaning back in his chair. – “I’m afraid so.” – he replied watching you closely. You broke. Leaning back to look up at the ceiling with the deepest sigh. You were ready to get up and walk out. What use was staying here if he had nothing to offer you.

Raglan picked up on your urge to get up and walk out. He got up making you freeze half way from getting up. You watched him go around the desk to come lean against the edge on your side. It made you sit back down eager to know what he wanted to say.

He stroked his beard thoughtfully. – “I might have something for you.” – he started sparking up your interest. – “The hours are brutal and the pay-check even worse.” – he went on. – “I don’t care.” – you said eagerly grabbing onto the railing of the chair. Raglan smiled. – “Ever heard of Freddy fazzbear’s pizzeria?” – he asked. You shook your head. – “It was a big thing in the eighties.” – he added. – “Before it got shut down.” – he finished looking down at you.

He looked briefly over his shoulder to your file on his desk. – “I read in your file you played dress-up for kid’s parties a few years ago.” – you hummed loud to acknowledge him. Raglan chuckled softly removing himself slightly from the desk. His hand grabbed for your chin, tilting your head back. His eyes locking with yours.

Somehow you didn’t push his hands away. Actually finding it mesmerizing how they held you. – “How do you stand against masks?” – he asked. – “Although it would be a shame to hide that pretty face of yours behind one.” -  You felt your cheeks burn up from his words. – “What do I have to do?” – you asked as he let go of your chin. – “Dress up.” – he spoke plainly. – “I…I thought the place got shut down?” – you asked to be sure you had heard him correctly.

 “You’d make a fine addition to the… family.” – he answered deflecting your question. – “The kids will love you.” – he muttered to himself. He took you by your hands making you stand up. – “What do you say Y/n do you plan on staying?” – he asked holding your hands dearly.

Having no other option you accepted. It didn’t sound that bad. Dressing up for some kids. As long as there weren’t any rude or perverse parents to test your temper. Raglan curled up a sinister smile.

-----------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[luveline]

For the zombie Steve au would you ever consider writing a blurb from before the college when Steve realizes he likes reader?

for you, my love!! steve zombie au —steve realises he likes you romantically, fem!reader

You're singing under your breath. Steve has it on record that he thinks you're a bad singer, but you don't sound half bad. Low, dulcet, you're singing an old song everybody knows. 

"Somewhere, beyond the sea, she's there waiting for me." You don't bother with the next line, interested more in the sock you're attempting to darn, the needle in your hand clumsy but well-meant. "Oh, ouch." 

"Prick yourself?" 

"I'm sorry?" you joke, laughing without answering his question. "I don't think that's any of your business, Harrington."

He grins at your saccharine, bubbly voice, enthused with laughter and unhurried. For once, you're not scared or anxious. The simple task of a repetitive action has distracted you from the reality of the world, and you're still being nice to him regardless. Steve's starting to think that, despite his bad moods and ill temper, you might like him. Or, starting to know it with surety. 

He figured when your shyness getting changed didn't ever quite abate, when you started snuggling into his waist at night, when one day you began complimenting him for things beyond survival skills —your hair is such a nice brown, Stevie— when you started calling him fucking Stevie, that you must harbour sweet feelings for him. He figured, and yet he had no idea how to feel about it. 

Steve started to confuse his feelings for yours, and vice versa. Wondering if maybe he was being nicer to you than he needed to be because he knew that was what you wanted. But he's sitting here now, cross-legged beside you on a double bed with no sheets in an abandoned house that's completely sealed from the inside out, no survival instincts, no ulterior motives, and he knows he likes you. That he might start to love you, if he has the time. 

He thinks about kissing you. 

"Do you need a bandaid?" he asks genuinely. 

"For this?" you ask, showing him your finger and the pinprick bead of blood that's blossomed there. You lick it clean. "No, thank you." 

"Alright. Want me to finish your sock?" 

"No, that's okay." You give him a suspicious look. "Why?" 

"What do you mean, why?" 

"Why would I want you to finish my sock?" you ask.

"Uh, 'cos you just hurt yourself? I'm trying to be nice." 

"Ooh, it suits you," you say, rolling your eyes. 

He reaches over to pinch your side. You jump, startled by his touch and surprised by his wanting to touch you, he can see it on your face. He really should be kinder to you. You don't do anything wrong, you're not mean, you're not even a liability or anything so strict. You're just a girl —you're more than a girl. You're the best friend he has right now, and you look out for him in more than necessities. 

"Who do you think you are?" he asks, giving you another jab. 

You laugh and squirm away from him. "I think I'm someone with a needle in their hand, ready to stab you," you say. 

"Really, you'd stab me? You're heartless. And here I thought you liked me." 

"I do like you," you say, tucking the needle you'd been waving at him behind a few threads of floss in the bobbin. 

"I like you too," he says. As soon as he says it, he knows it's true. You may not understand the depth of his words, but Steve does, and he can't shake the feeling that you need a reward. For being so likeable. For liking him first. "Give me your sock, I can darn better than you can." 

"You've had more practice," you explain away, though you do pass him your sock.

"Are you going to finish the song?" he asks. 

You glare. "Thought I sounded like a dying cat?" 

"You'll never let that go, will you?" 

"No, not likely." 

You laugh again, and this time Steve joins in. He retrieves the needle and sets about fixing the mistakes you'd made, hiding a smile as you lay down by his thigh, your hand curled up by his foot, and start to sing. "You have to join in," you say ugrnelty between lines. 

Steve joins in. Not worried about sounding good, not worried about anything, the two of you making up the words you forgot, out of tune but far from out of time. 

[kawaoneechan]

Okay so in a game like Animal Crossing, there's a bunch of things all happening at once. You can have a screen full of villagers walking around doing their thing, balloons flying, bugs bugging, a system in the background to handle hourly background music with chimes in between, all that good stuff, while you're doing your own things.

When you talk to a villager, you and the villager both stop on the spot, and a script takes over. That script then makes the villager turn to the player and a dialogue window appears. There may be a multiple choice thing now — "talk", "gift", or "leave" — and the script won't stop, releasing control to both, until what you've selected plays out.

So you have a villager with an attached script. The villager waits for the script to finish before continuing on their merry way, while the script waits for the villager to finish turning to the player. Once that's done, it picks something to say and eventually ends up opening the dialogue window. The script now has to wait for the message to finish writing, and the very next command is an "if" involving the result of a multiple choice question, so now the script has to wait for that to return.

I was thinking for Project Special K I might implement all that as several Tickable objects. Not unlike in SCI, you'd have a big list of things in the game that all implement a Tick method. In SCI, that'd be the cast, and its members have doit methods. It's the same deal, but Tick also gets a delta-time argument. So the dialogue box gets to be its own thing that implements Tickable, the multiple choice box is as well. Inventory window? Yes.

Also the script interpreter.

But all that wouldn't let the villager wait for the script interpreter, which waits for the dialogue box, right? Script execution should be halted until the dialogue box is dismissed. That one villager's AI should be halted until the interpreter finishes, only moving (or rather, emoting) because of embedded commands in the dialogue box's text stream.

So I figured, what if I gave them something like a mutex variable? The villager would have a bool waiting or whatever, and passes a pointer to that bool to the script interpreter they spawn when the player interacts with them. The interpreter is added to the cast list and starts running the code it was given. When it's done, it not only removes itself from the cast but sets the bool pointer so the villager can tell it's over and done with.

Now every time through the loop, the villager's Tick is called and they can tell "oh, I'm waiting for a script to finish" because their bool isn't set yet. The script interpreter likewise can spawn a dialogue box into the cast and have its own "waiting for that darn dialogue box" bool, in exactly the same way the villager can wait for the script interpreter.

Next trick, the dialogue box should remain on screen even when things are done, so multiple choice answers can have the question remain visible. It should only close when a different style of box is called for, or when the script ends. My idea is to always have a dialogue box object in the cast, idling until called for. When the villager realizes the script has ended, they can simply poke the dialogue box and have it close, if nothing else already did.

[vaamiel]

My commissions are open!

I drew my dragon age protagonists!

I love them all so much 🥹 I figure I might as well write a lil about them so more info below the cut!

(this is quite long so be warned!)

Athon Surana is my warden!

He's a crunchy little bookworm who would much rather be researching or reading than fighting (or sleeping. Or eating. Or brushing his hair. Pretty much anything else).

He's an arcane warrior. Not because he wanted to be a frontline fighter or wield a sword, but literally because it requires less effort and thought than casting spells in combat. That's not to say he's a bad mage - quite the opposite in fact - but he doesn't want to spend the mental energy on fighting when he could much rather use his brain for Other Things.

Zevran is the love of his life, though I think them getting together is more incidental than anything else. Athon would likely have never sought companionship from anyone at all if he was left to his own devices, but he enjoys the time he spends with zev very much!

I imagine he's currently buried under a pile of books somewhere in Weisshaupt. The events of DAD will absolutely happen around him and he won't even bother to stick his head out of the library.

Garrett Hawke is.. well, you know

I love the default name and appearance for Garrett. The more I play DA2 the more it sticks as the only option for his appearance in my mind 🥲

I think my headcanons for him stick pretty close to canon - maybe with the exception I imagine him being even more pro-mage (perhaps even slightly racial) compared to the options you're provided in-game?

Anders is his romance and Garrett is very much All In on his ideals. Tbh I DO headcanon that he put together the plan about the chantry explosion and never stepped in because he supported the action.

I imagine he and Anders are off galavanting around Weisshaupt, waiting for Athon to finish developing a cure for the taint (and annoying Carver until the end of his days, certainly).

Lennox Trevelyan is my latest inquisitor!

He's the oldest of my three inquisitors, and incidentally the oldest of his siblings as well. Getting sent to the tower at a young age was frustrating and I think he held a lot of resentment toward his family and the circle for being caged as he was.

He also lost his faith during his years in the circle, which was quite jarring for someone raised in such a devout family.

That Lennox never saw any of his siblings or his parents again really Messed Him Up for a long time, and left him with a little bit of an inferiority complex and a smidge of abandonment issues 🥲

The inquisition (and his role in it) made things both better and worse - the power never went to his head, but he was certainly a bit of a radicalist when it came to freedom for mages and equality amongst all those under his command.

His romance is Dorian, and tbh with his disbanding of the inquisition, I imagine he went chasing after him to Tevinter (darn abandonment issues strike again), acting as a liaison for Leliana as divine.

Ashiriel Lavellan is my middle child with a weird AU backstory

SO Ashiriel is my one character that breaks a lot of the established lore. She was inspired by an au I built for myself and then never posted anywhere around... 2018? Where Dorian fled Tevinter with the help of the chargers a year or so early.

Ashiriel never imagined herself a mage. She made it 25 years without any magic manifesting, then during a traumatic incident when caught by some nasty noblemen in the forest, she lit them on fire (and half of herself too).

Basically, to cut an incredibly long-winded backstory short, she was rescued by bull and Dorian after they stumbled upon her. The chargers stayed with clan Lavellan for a time, helping Ashiriel heal and defending them as they moved away from Wycome etc.

They don't meet again until the tear etc, but all this sort of informed how I built Ashiriel in the game!

Cullen is Ashiriel's husband and I imagine they live happily ever after in the woods of ferelden, mutually healing from their extensive trauma 😌

Veren was my first inquisitor!

Veren is a precious little baby, new to the world just like me lmao. We both knew nothing going in to inquisition, so I was a stupid dumb dumb idiot and romanced Solas on my first playthrough with her.

We're both not over it.

Veren is a rogue (the only non-mage out of all my protags haha), but because she loved and trusted Solas, she kind of worked heeding his advice the whole game.

The one exception would be the well of sorrows - still reeling from the breakup she decided to ignore him that one time and... Well, we'll see what happens there, I suppose.

You bet your ass she's chasing that stupid egg across Thedas and beyond. Veren is hella determined and will stop at nothing to try to redeem Solas. Or maybe she's in denial, hard to say.

Anyway, I think that's it! If you managed to sit through all this rambling, thanks! Let me know what you think!

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

Based on previous feedback

Ramona, trying to be subtle: What do you think your name would be as a girl, Scott?

(Thought cloud above Scott with "Ramona" and "Roxie")

Scott: Uh, "Rhoda", maybe. Why?

(there's a panel without any dialogue where Ramona just exchanges a look with Wallace and Kim)

Kim: ... Scott, have you ever wondered if you might be trans?

Scott: Haha, absolutely not! I'm definitely a guy! Uhhh totally a manly man here!

Caption on Scott: Just happened to have a feminine name for himself off the top of his head

Ramona: ... You're sure?

Scott, deflating, but only a little: I dunno, Ramona. Like. I mean I've wondered if I was trans like you and Roxie, but I mean. I ... think it'd be more obvious, right?

Wallace: To yourself, you mean?

Scott: ????

Ramona: Scott, I'm just gonna come out and say it ...

Scott: Yeah?

(whole entire wide panel showing everyone in the room, including a surprised Scott)

Ramona: I think you're trans.

(a catgirl speedrunner (whom I've named Susan Smalls) noclips through the wall, fist swinging at Ramona. The panel is otherwise identical to the previous one to indicate that time has gone backwards.)

SFX: Netcode Rollback!

Ramona: I think ywhoa!

Scott: Huh!?

(Scott and Ramona, in perfect sync, block the punch and knock Susan back.)

SFX: Perfect Tean Parry! Team Counter!

Susan, landing with catlike grace and glaring at Scott: And you are?

Scott: I'm ... Scott??

Susan: Nice name! Did your mom pick it out for you?

Character intro caption: SUSAN SMALLS, Age 32, Enforcer for the Canadian High Council of Trans Women, Also She's A Trans Woman

Ramona: Susan Smalls!?

Susan, pointing: You know the Prime Directive, Ramona Flowers!

Ramona: The Prime Directive has been twisted! It's gone beyond it's original purpose of stopping us from being so pushy it drives someone away!

Wallace, casually: Oh, is Scott about to ...?

Kim: Yeah, I think so.

Susan, leaping towards her: That's not your decision to make, Ramona! The Council has spoken!

Scott, blocking: What is she talking about???

Ramona, also blocking: I think you're trans!!!

Susan, horrified, hands on her head: NOOOOOOO--

Susan: --OOOOO‌oh?

(Scott undergoes an entire magical girl transformation. When it finishes, there is no visible change whatsoever.)

Character intro caption: RHODA PILGRIM, Age 24, Also She's A Trans Woman

Kim, to Wallace: You owe me five dollars.

Wallace, deadpan: Darn it.

Susan, now grinning: Ooh, magical transformation sequence, huh?

Rhoda: ... What? That's it? I just decide I'm "Rhoda" and then ... nothing?

Caption on Rhoda: No Change To Appearance Or Voice

Ramona: Yeah, sorry -- figuring yourself out is just the first step.

Susan: Yep! It's gonna be tough-tough, not gonna lie, but I hope you find out that it's worth it!

Susan, threateningly wrapping her arm around a suddenly-nervous Ramona's shoulders with a sarcastic grin: But in the meantime, regarding someone's breach of the Prime Directive ... ^u^

Rhoda, threateningly wrapping her arm around a now-somewhat-nervous Susan's shoulders with a similar sarcastic grin: Oh, you sure you wanna be playing that game? ^u^

Kim: Yeah, Susan, right? Sc-- Rhoda's the best fighter in the province, y'know.

Susan: [angry cat noises]

(that is, the speech balloon literally says "[angry cat noises]" in brackets)

Susan, noclipping away back out of the room: You haven't heard the last of me! ... I mean seen the last of me!

(There's a moment where everyone just processes all this.)

Rhoda: Ahahaha ... uhhh wow!

Ramona: Yep!

Rhoda: So, uh, what now?

Ramona, putting her hands on Rhoda's shoulders: Lots and lots of bullshit.

Rhoda, nervously: ... will it be worth it?

Ramona: You have to be the judge of that. But it was for me!

Rhoda: ... Are you still my girlfriend?

Ramona: Of course!

[manjiroscum]

BELLADONNA

Character/s: merman!Manjiro Sano

Warnings: f!reader, explicit sex, mature language, dark content, dub-con kissing, set in regency era, monsterfucking, amnesia, manipulation/brainwashing, mentions of multiple murders, death/murder, mystery, pregnancy, oviposition, mikey has a weird 🍆 + has sharp teeth and nails, infidelity (not towards reader), yandere mikey, hints of cannibalism (bc mikey is feral and darn possessive), and breeding. Minors do not interact.

Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKEY MY LOVE 🥺💕 also this is for bby vivi's @festive Things that go bump in the night collab

Synopsis: No matter how hard you try, the waters always lure you into their depths.

WC: 3.8k

Dark cumulonimbus clouds littered the whole sky that they almost formed a dome with their menacing size, promising heavy rain and strong winds in the area they deemed victims. The dreary day has somehow turned interesting with how the whole tiny village is buzzing with life due to preparations because the last time one hit the place was a year ago. It was a truly devastating time that caused deaths and many homes that had to be rebuilt. You were no exception to this—waking up by the shore with many cuts and strange marks on your flesh along with a hazy memory. Your family and friends said it was a miracle that you survived. Even your husband, who was still courting you at that time, was far too relieved to question how you ended up that way.

“I’m almost done, dear. You can eat first if you want to.”

Your gaze never left your husband’s figure shutting the windows and boarding them up to prevent the harsh winds and raindrops from entering. The ocean was as angry as the sky, waves rocky enough to drown an inexperienced person. Ships had to be docked while those who dared to go through a storm had already left by then. You were supposed to do your laundry by the stream that led to the ocean, however, it had to be postponed due to the nasty weather. The waters would be rising, enough to be seen as risky. Your whole form shuddered at the thought of swallowing those waters, nightmares of it continued to haunt you when you least expected it.

But there was always a person who saved you—a face you couldn’t make out because the nightmare always ended just as you were about to.

“Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you to finish.”

In such bad weather and the threat of flood, you normally would have gone to your friend’s house a few miles north to take shelter there. Yet, your husband was far more insistent today for you to remain here—indoors and never leave until the storm was gone no matter what happens. And unfortunately, even to this day, you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that your friend died last year due to a mysterious illness that caused an uproar in the village after that storm. There was nowhere to go but to stay here. But for him to go this far by locking all the windows and doors, muttering under his breath the entire time. It was an odd sight, and frankly, you were worried by his actions.

Why on earth would he be placing barriers that prevented you from leaving easily when a flood may occur? Has he lost his mind?

Biting back your tongue from spilling your fears all over the floor, you tried to sit back and watch. Your hands on your lap were tightly gripping the white cloth of your dress in hopes that patience will not leave you as you waited for your husband to finish. Tonight’s dinner is already set and waiting for you both by the table. But, you lost your appetite when he finished and called for you to join him.

“Listen to me carefully, dear,” your husband spoke up suddenly in time as the thunder roared across the sky that almost frightened you. The flash of lightning was a bit disorienting. His usually gentle eyes were hard and left no room for any discussion. “You’re not to leave this house until the stream’s flow is back to its original state. You don't have to worry about food or anything you might need—I’ll get them. Just stay here until I deem it safe, alright?” His hand reached out to touch yours, squeezing it in a reassuring way. “I… I’ll protect you. You don’t have to feel confused or scared anymore. I promise you that.”

A good wife never talks back to her husband so you merely nodded. Afraid of what may occur if you tried to press on with your plaguing questions. You have heard of many tales of troublesome wives and crossing your husband was the last thing you wanted. But what he said, instead of silencing the doubts in your mind, merely caused them to be in a state of panic. Ever since marrying you, your beloved husband has been quite protective, to the point he was close to being overbearing. At first, you thought it was just because he cared for you. There were times it seemed sweet. However, whenever it started to rain heavily or there was a chance a storm would come, he always had an odd look on his face. You haven't even been to the beach nor got close to it ever since. What was even more infuriating was his silence or the half-hearted reasons that never made any sense.

What does he mean by protecting me? Surely what happened last time was merely an effect of my own negligence… Mother nature is a daunting force to battle with human hands. But what occurred then won't repeat again, especially with all the planning made to prevent it.

So what is he so scared of?

That night while lying in bed next to your unconscious husband, the mere companion you had was the candlelight flickering with every howl of the wind that tried to penetrate through the barriers, rattling the wooden planks. The sound of heavy raindrops pattering on the brick roof was neither relaxing nor annoying. You couldn’t sleep. Getting out of bed slowly, you glanced at your husband a few times to see if he would stir awake, to which he didn’t. Nights of trying to leave bed to either grab a cup of water or just sit in the sitting room that ended up only him grabbing your arm to stop you flashed before your eyes the second your toes touched the cold floor. Exhaustion from running around and barricading the house has chained him to a night of deep sleep.

“When is this damn storm going to go away?” you mumbled to yourself, hugging your torso as you walked up to the window where a gap is visible. Peeking through the space, you sighed at how the outdoors resembled a dark void you’ve seen countless times in your dreams. If it weren’t a stormy night, the endless void would seem straight out of a nightmare. “He can’t keep me cooped up here forever…”

A deep exhale escaped your lips as you sauntered to the kitchen to drink a cup of water. Perhaps you could blame it on the darkness of the house or the lack of sleep, but you were quite sure you heard the back door creak open. A chill ran down your spine, and the hairs on the back of your neck all stood. It was a miracle you didn’t drop your cup and alert your husband to a conscious state.

“What the…”

The door was definitely open, and the wooden planks and other things your husband used to block it lay on the side. Since when did it become like this? You don’t recall hearing anything other than the loud thunder that follows after lightning splits through the sky. Swallowing your fright, you were just about to close the door again when suddenly, the rain stopped. You blinked twice at the strange phenomenon, fear doubling at the unexplainable until you heard it—someone humming.

Anyone out in this weather would be crazy, especially at night. Whether it was carried off by the wind or the person was just close by, the tune being hummed was enchanting and yet, deceptively alluring. Curiosity fuelled your steps as you made your way out, promising to just take a peek if it was someone and not something. But every step you took led you further closer to the beach where the waves were serene. Even the moon was out, its faint light illuminating the murky waters. The whole scenery was as if it came out of a painting that almost appeared like there wasn't any downpour earlier. But what had you continuing down your path until the ocean licked the soles of your feet was that ethereal humming that you couldn't help but feel like you’d heard before yet unable to pinpoint where.

Saltwater caressed up to your breasts the moment you snapped out of the entrancing song. Mind bewildered on why you let yourself get enraptured until something grabbed your arm, causing you to almost let out a shriek when your gaze landed on two onyx opals that belonged to a blond man, staring at you in great interest. Unable to see his whole face for the other half was submerged in water. He was handsome and pretty at the same time—a beautiful mysterious being that you had the chance to encounter. His whole aura was captivating. And yet, something felt wrong.

Heart pounding, you were unsure of what to do. What would anyone do when some stranger is now swimming next to you in the middle of the night? Lips about to move and question him on why he was here and all which ended up on the back of your tongue at the feeling of something brushing against your legs—a fishtail belonging to the man. Crimson was the color of its scales, giving off an illusion of him bleeding in the water. A sign of danger. The alarm bells started ringing in your head, your body froze at what that meant.

Breath caught up in your throat, you couldn’t move a single muscle. Frankly, you didn’t know what else to do but trudge back to shore if the merman allowed you to leave. Horror stories of sailors drowning and women being lured into the waters by such creatures to feast on ran through your mind while standing there. The icy breeze that brushed past you snapped you out of your dread, legs starting to turn back. But the merman had other ideas, clinging to your arm in earnest. Your cry for help turned into a gasp when his wet hands reached up to grab your face, those irises resembling the endless void of the night. His sharp nails slightly dug into your cheeks, but not enough to harm your flesh.

“Pretty pearl, do you remember me?”

“W-what…” There was no way this creature was speaking! His mouth never budged but you definitely heard his voice in your head. Was this the power of a merman? And is he the one humming earlier that lured you here? Foolish, you were absolutely foolish to fall for such tricks. You should have stayed at home as your husband told you. Teeth chattering, you shook your head. “L-let me go… Please, I need to—”

“It’s me, Manjiro. You remember me right, my pretty pearl?”

“M-Manjiro?” you echoed his name which caused the merman to show his full face where a smile was stretching his lips. “I’m sorry, b-but I don’t recall knowing you—”

His lips were on yours instantaneously, keeping you locked there while you struggled to free yourself. Tears started to form in your eyes, scared to death at what may happen next. To drown and eat you would be quite easy for such a powerful being. Your hands continued to push him back, albeit pathetically before they fell limp to your side.

Images of you and this merman flowed through your mind during the duration of the kiss, his tongue swiping and tasting your lower lip, begging to be let in. Memories of you prior to that storm hitting the village a year ago flooded your mind like honey, slowly unlocking more that led to you recognizing the merman to be the one who saved you when you fell off a crumbling cliff on your way back home to grab your things and evacuate. Those nightmares of drowning all made sense now for it has happened before and he—Manjiro—saved you the moment your body fell into the water, breathing oxygen back into your lungs. The very merman who caressed you in places you’ve never dared to touch in that tiny cave in curiosity. Those few moments spent on an undiscovered island a few miles from here were rare and interesting that it didn’t make sense how you’d easily forgotten about it. But such a meeting had to end when you both were confronted by another merman as he was returning you back to shore. Torn from each other so early that ended up you fleeing from such danger and almost drowning in the process as he fended off his own kind from touching a strand of your hair.

You couldn’t quite believe your savior and the merman you were enchanted with was out here, wanting to see you again after all these months. The one you fell in love with during that first meeting. And to meet here again, it was fate all along.

The tears of terror that collected on the rim of your eyes rolled down out of happiness instead. Arms wrapping themselves around the merman, holding onto him tightly. A smile on your face as you sobbed while he continued to kiss you. “Manjiro? Yes, it is you! Oh, how could I ever forget you?” Apologies poured out of your mouth like a gentle drizzle that had the merman humming out of glee. Finally, you two were reunited and Manjiro could never be happier. His hands lowered to hold you by your hips, intent to mark you again with his nails.

Unfortunately, just as he was celebrating having your memories return, Manjiro was instantly troubled at the fact you were now mated to someone other than him. Your husband wasn’t a stupid one and nothing could be more convenient for the merman to have him out of the picture. Months of waiting for you to go back to the beach and see you left Manjiro frustrated. There was no way you could easily forget him. So, who was taking up your attention that you wouldn’t try and see him again?

Of course, your bastard of a human lover.

Ill ideas that spelled death and evil tainted his thoughts every time he came to land, draining much of his magic to walk on two legs for minutes just to check up on you and see that bastard breathing in your proximity. He was quite sure that the bastard did something for you to forget him just like that. Dedication to see you was his only driving force so to see you next to a disgusting human made him want to tear his head off. This often led to him going back to the ocean with his blood boiling.

A merman would never be accepted into human society, that he knew. Those who did ended up dead trying. Manjiro refuses to die and be separated from you—his precious pearl in a vast ocean of nothing or anything meaningful to offer. However, he won’t easily back down again—he can’t turn back now just because your stupid human lover was wary of him. Manjiro swore he won’t make the same mistake again of getting caught by your husband, especially since said human has seen his true form upon escaping his suspicious glare.

To kill the vile human may be his ultimate goal, but to become close to being human shall solve his other problems.

Yes, he has to finish what he had started.

“Where are you going?” your husband’s inquiry was almost missed by you, excited to meet up with your non-human lover. If there were days you wished you didn’t marry so early, they merely multiplied now. Yet, you weren’t cruel to crush your husband’s heart. You did enjoy his company, through the ups and downs. He can’t compete with Manjiro’s enthralling aura, though. There was also the chance he might go and kill Manjiro if you did reveal your secret affair that has been going on for a month now since meeting the merman again. Just keeping the marks Manjiro has given you whenever you two meet was already a difficult thing to keep, what more about the true nature of your lover? Secrecy can sometimes be a far better choice than honesty. “It’s going to be late in a few hours.”

“I’m… just going to be quick, dear. I’ll be back quickly,” you reasoned, feet itching to leave the house. The look on your husband's face was doubtful but in the end, he dismissed you with a wave.

“Just be back before it gets dark, alright? Perhaps you didn't hear the news but there's been another murder in the area. Whoever the sick person is for killing people, I hope they get caught soon or we’ll have to move.”

Head too high up in the clouds to listen to the rest of his sentence, you left home with a giddy disposition. Manjiro was the only thing that revolved around your head and being able to kiss and touch him again. These past few days have been uneventful. If it weren't for your lover’s constant presence who also served as a sweet escape from mundane life, you would have died of boredom under the same roof as your husband.

“My pretty pearl, do you want me?”

Gasping against his shoulder, you fought back a moan. Futile and pointless it was for Manjiro intends to hear you sing beautifully as you bounced on his weirdly shaped cock. The rushing of the stream drowned out your whines and the lewd noise of your wet pussy folds meeting the base of his length that oddly hits and rubs the right places inside your cunt. Such a cock definitely does not belong to a human being. The first time taking it was a struggle for you swore you almost came that second the tip pushed past your cervix. Manjiro would always make it a habit to return you to your husband in an almost delirious state, one where all you could think of is his cock. From the very second you leave the stream with his thick cum trailing down your damp thighs to when you sleep at night, fantasizing of having the merman’s offspring.

Today was no different. Manjiro’s tail was slightly thrashing once you sped up, angling your hips and then resuming to bouncing on his throbbing cock that was leaking pre-cum—if you could call it that. Countless times has he stuffed you full of his thick warm fertile semen that came after he spurted two or three eggs into your womb. His whispers of you becoming a great mother never failed to heighten the experience of having sex with him in the great outdoors. A factor of this being an illicit affair could also be thrown into the mix and the idea of your husband being unaware has you scandalously creaming and squeezing Manjiro. The merman’s jaw slackened at how tight and hot your pussy is, revealing rows of sharp teeth that sunk into your nape, just wishing to mark you forever right then and there.

But Manjiro has to be patient. He has to be cunning and decisive. Your husband wasn’t the only person he has to eliminate to tip things in his favor. Killing your friend in this village last year was just the first step and consuming more human flesh was only the beginning of fulfilling his dream to stay by your side. If he had to kill more of his own kind to protect you, so be it. Manjiro isn’t scared to feed on human and merman flesh to obtain his goal. It wouldn’t be long. He has killed enough people to be able to turn his fish tail into human legs without the consequences of tiring easily or feeling like he was walking on a bed of sea urchins.

“Ah! M-Manji… N-need more. Want to feel you… burn. Want to hear you!” you sobbed with your warm gummy walls squeezing him dry. Manjiro knew if you came one more time, your husband would catch a whiff of your infidelity. But really, could this even be classified as one when it was he whom you truly love and not your sack shit of a husband? “M-more! Please! Wanna… have your babies.”

Ah, Manjiro truly loves you.

There was no one else on this earth that could please him so easily as you do. And that alone was enough for him to do everything in his power for you to stay by his side, even if you want to be free of his spell or grow tired of him. Manjiro will never let you go.

Gently pushing you to lay down on one of the smoother rocks, the merman crawled his way up to you. Not even prompted, you spread your legs to accommodate him. Your raw cunt was still oozing with his semen was perfectly in view. Manjiro grunted as he eased himself into your pussy once more, intent on breeding you and fertilizing those eggs. Because what was more laughable than for your husband to realize you were pregnant and carrying a merman’s brood? Delighted at the image of you round and practically ready to give birth, Manjiro leaned down to kiss you. His blood was singing songs in praise to you, eagerly rushing down to his erect and painful cock that was about to insert more eggs into you.

“M-Manjiro!” you practically screamed as your climax crashed down on you, back arching and nails drawing up half-moons and what resembled shooting stars across his back. Your legs quivered around his torso, satisfied as your merman chased after his own release once he safely inserted the eggs. You could barely see your husband glaring down at you through your hazed vision due to the rush of euphoria brought by Manjiro. Too far gone at the amount of ecstasy that you barely flinched at your husband yelling. His demands to know what was going on entered one ear and out the other.

Your husband was far too kind sometimes. During the duration of your peaceful marriage with him, he was better than those who hurt their partners. This was evident in how he was concerned about you, enough to follow you here. Yet, somehow, you didn’t feel any remorse in loving someone else behind his back nor felt dread when Manjiro got behind him, his legs smooth and muscled. Everything about the merman was as deadly as the sharp nails that sliced your husband’s throat, causing him to bleed and fall. The stream carried off his lifeline to the shores where it would attract more merfolk to the island, enticing them. But screw them for Manjiro would eliminate anything that gets in his way.

The death of your husband did not cause an uproar much to your surprise. Manjiro was already quite known in the village by the time you returned home, a widow but at the same time, a woman who was about to spend the rest of her life with the man she truly loved.

Correction, merman.

The day you got your first morning sickness was the very same day everyone in the village recognized Manjiro as your one and only husband. Your first husband—wait, did you even have another husband other than Manjiro? All you ever remembered is Manjiro. There was no way a human could love you as much as he could.

Manjiro, Manjiro, Manjiro—everything has gone smoothly according to his plan, all for his pretty human. Perhaps you were a deadlier obsession that the merman himself.

🎐taglist: @ranilingus @cryptred @wakaslut @marism @wakasa-wifey @zuuki @stffychn @keijisprettygirl @bunnyjiros @tobidabio @leavemealonebutinpink @eroscastle @kamisoria @httphaitani @chloee0x0 @sanzucide @tokyometronetwork @riszu

[lunawings]

While I was in Japan during March 2024, I was able to visit the Pretty Rhythm Rainbow Live 10th Anniversary Exhibit. This is my favorite anime of all time, so it was an incredible honor.

Unfortunately, you could not take pictures in many areas and I always try my best to be respectful and follow the rules. So, I will describe it.

The walls of the first room were covered in several tapestries depicting each individual episode of the anime, so you could reminisce about everything that happened as you slowly walked through the room. In the middle of the room, there were several exhibits perfectly recreating every single paper, notebook, sketch...

Hokkaido itinerary? Wakana and Bell's test scores? Momo's Happy Rain costume sketches? Naru and Bell's manager applications? The score to pride? Any piece of paper you can think of that appeared in PRRL, it was all HERE! Recreated with meticulous accuracy...

The next room was the photo room where you could take pictures in Prism Stone or in front of Rinne's feathers.

Something else they had here which was really neat, was all of these mini photo ops of various scenes from the anime that you could put your plushies or figures into! As I rarely have someone with me to take photos of myself at events like this, and I rarely post them even when I do, NGL I loved it. I wish I had brought something! I did have a PAF Naru on my bag I could have used, but it would have taken time to unpin her so unfortunetly I did not.

The next room contained an exhibit of various merch from throughout the years.

Unfortunately, there wasn't really much merch to look at in the classic section. Just the guitars, some stones, and the Smart Pod Shot. But I definitely think there was more than that back in the day! There has to have been because I own at least one thing that was not in here (a pool bag) haha!

They also had a REAL prism guitar on display, which apparently they are actually going to sell at some point!?

The last part of the exhibit before going to the gift shop, was a hallway with messages from all the voice actresses and the director. This was also a zone where photos were banned, but I remember in the director's he acknowledged Rainbow Live as being the only Pretty Rhythm season to achieve a 10th anniversary celebration and ended his commentary with "Glorious Pretty Rhythm" hahaha. Next was the gift shop...

Which was honestly super disappointing... I was prepared to spend a lot of money here, but in the end, I barely bought anything. Everything, EVERYTHING good was blind and the stuff that wasn't was just so expensive.

Like, they had this set of Hiro cards with his magazine covers and debut poster and I really wanted them but when I actually saw them it was like... 2,000 yen? FOR THREE CARDS!? Those tiny little cards you can see up there below the keychains?

????????????

Am I missing something!?

In the end I bought two Wakana boards and two clear files. And the one blind thing I couldn't resist was the Prism Stone badges... which turned out to be Otoha x2 and one Ann. Gah.

I also might have bought a Wakana plush doll, but she was sold out. Out of all the Rainbow Live girls she was the only one sold out both here and at Tokyo Station Prism Stone.

And here were the bonuses I got. Including, yes, the AiPri card. So for people who saw me posting it over on @pretty-idol-hell, this was where it came from.

I also got a very special letter, which I am saving to translate at a later date...

Outside the event was an up and running Pretty Rhythm machine, or so I thought. Wow, no line! I said to myself as I happily bounced up to it only to find the coin slot taped over and a sign reading it could not be used. Darn. (I know there's no prism stones left in the wild, but come on, there's no free play mode...? Well, I guess even if there was they wouldn't want people loitering around the exhibition.)

Anyway, as you read I did have a few complaints, but it still makes my heart happy that this event existed at all. I loved all the time and effort that went into making all the recreations of things!

[arom-antix]

Why Yuuri (before 2017) should not be allowed to write an autobiography

Okay, to those who might not follow figure skating as closely, I just need to point out that Yuuri, despite what he insists (unreliable narrator), did not do badly in the Sochi GPF.

We know from the flashback in episode 5 that Yuuri during his free skate fell on at least two of his jumps and touched down on one and it can be assumed he didn't do too well on his others. He says in episode 4 that he falls on jumps and makes up the gap with Program Component Scores (how artistic it was) which can also be seen on the protocol from his short program where his PCS is higher than his Technical Element Score (how technically sound it was). This is not how those scores usually relate except in certain cases (see Jason Brown, also known for his high PCS and (relatively) low TES though this is by choice).

This is Yuuri's short program protocol. If you don't know how to read this then all you need to know is that his total score was 82.80, 40.42 of that being TES and 42.38 being PCS.

Now, to relate that to the real world, in the 2015 Grand Prix Final, Daisuke Murakami scored a total of 235.49, scoring 83.47 in his short program and 152.02 in his free skate and placing 6th. As we can see, that's pretty darn close to Yuuri's score (82.80 in the short, 149.79 in the free, 232.59 total) and I would not be surprised if they were inspired by his scores since they're also PCS centric.

Sidenote: Looking at Yuuri's PCS here and comparing them to Murakami's, Yuuri's are higher, not having anything lower than 8.00. Based on the fact that he was likely very off-kilter, I'd say this is still a very respectable score (duh, Yuuri just can't accept that he's good). Boyang Jin who took 3rd in the short, 5th overall in the 2015 GPF had way lower PCS scores.

Anyway, here's Murakami's free skate protocol.

Murakami has 8 jumping passes in his free, 7 of which he lands with a two-footed landing on one and a stepout on another. He only falls ass on ice like Yuuri does once on his second quadruple salchow (which was supposed to be a combination. The << and REP are explained at the bottom of the protocol). He does not touch down at any point. Otherwise his jumps look fine to me, most of them barely having any ice spray and only his 3Lz+1Lo+2S combination getting a warning for an unclear edge.

If you don't know, falling is (kind of) the worst mistake you can make on a jump and the judges are required to both give a certain negative GEO (grade of execution) and a deduction of 1 point. Other mess-ups just give negative GEOs.

Murakami's FS score is 73.26 TES and 79.76 PCS which would mean Yuuri's scores are likely very similar. But he fell on two jumps, not one meaning his PCS would likely have been higher to make up the difference.

And if Yuuri's insinuation that he flubbed all his jumps in some manner is true (which I find highly unlikely, have some confidence) and he missed elements by either popping (opening too early which costs rotations but saves you from a fall) or just not doing them, his PCS would have needed to be even higher to make up for that.

Missing elements, like popping a double, triple or quadruple axel into a single (at least one double is required), results in that element not being counted at all. Zero. Zip. Nada. You get nothing for it if you can't make up for it later in the program. Even falling on a jump is better because that's at least a few points. So if that happened, he'd have a big gap to make up with his PCS.

To sum up: with everything that could have gone wrong for Yuuri, this is still a very good score, even on the international scene. And to highlight that, Murakami is happy when he finishes, even fist pumping.

And yes, there was still that 103.17 point gap between Yuuri and Viktor which is the same (okay, 94.95) for Murakami and Yuzuru Hanyu who took gold in the 2015 GPF. But, and I cannot stress this enough, Hanyu broke 3 world records with that score meaning Viktor likely did as well. No wait, scratch that, I know he did because Hanyu's score was 330.43 which Viktor beat by 5.33 points. Of course it's not going to be even close, are you kidding me?

Looking at the World Championships in 2016, Yuuri would, with that 232.59 score, still have taken 11th place. He'd have taken 16th in 2023 and that's with a single quad (I don't trust his quad salchow yet) in the age of quads (and that quad being the one with the lowest base value). I'm positive he'd have been able to do a Jason Brown whose PC scores are so good that he in 2023 placed 5th without a single quad and would have placed 3rd in 2016. Now, take that and throw Yuuri's quad toe loop and some confidence in there and you've got a Worlds podium finish before the series even starts.

And then in the season the show is in, he has his quad toe loop, quad salchow and quad flip. He might even have gotten the quad loop down in the 3.5 months between the Barcelona GFP and Worlds. I definitely see a world champion on the next level (if they'd give us it >:[ )

And scores always get higher over time, the world record having gone from Hanyu's 330.46 in 2015 to Nathan Chen's 335.30 in 2019 still standing in 2023 which is still less than Viktor's Sochi GFP score (335.76) (yes, the system has changed since 2015 but it's close enough that it doesn't really matter in this context. Viktor is OP no matter what).

Really, the fact that Yuuri's in the GFP at all should be all we need to know that he's insanely good. It might not technically be Worlds but my stars, Yuuri, it does basically make you 6th in the world.

BE. PROUD.

[shares-a-vest]

Prompt: Bringing someone home (Discord Drabble) @bowtieandflannel I fear I have a resurging case of Clarkson brainrot. Also yeah, sorry to the stwg but this is once again probably not a drabble.

Eddie shuffles into the kitchen, bleary-eyed and needing a caffeine hit (or three). He blinks hard and rubs his eyes, vision clearing enough to see a figure standing at the stove. His mouth waters at the smell of bacon, praying that his uncle has save him some.

"Hey, Wa-ay – AHHHH!"

He screams and claps a hand over his mouth at the sight of Scott Clarke, funky bowtie-wearing middle school teacher and all-around dork of a science nerd, standing in his kitchen making breakfast.

"Oh, gosh!" Scott says, dropping the egg slider in the pan as he jumps back and clutches his chest, "Wayne said you weren't home!"

"I am," he takes a moment to frown before going back to gawking to the point his eyes might fall out onto the cracked linoleum.

"He's um..." Scott looks out the front window.

"I need to..." Eddie thumbs to the door.

"Yeah!" Scott agrees with great enthusiasm.

Eddie whips around at break-neck speed to fling open the front door and the accompanying fly screen, thoroughly testing the hinges. He's sure he will receive a scalding from Wayne soon enough.

He braces himself, perhaps not nearly as much as he typically would because Scott cries out, "Oh golly, the toast!" as the fly screen smashes shut again, the metal frame rattling away.

"Oh, shit!" Wayne cusses, looking uncharacteristically spooked as they make eye contact.

See, it's things like this that are bolstering Eddie's growing assertion that Scott Clarke should one-thousand percent not be cooking in their kitchen in a pair of boxer shorts and one of his uncle's flannels, saying things like "gosh" and "golly".

Wayne meanwhile, looks as shocked as he oughta be, sitting on the edge of the second-hand couch they have out on the porch.

Eddie opens his mouth to speak but again, he has nothing.

"Boy," Wayne says, stern with a warning finger, "Don't you start!"

"Why is Scott Clarke in our kitchen!" he shrieks, promptly smacking his mouth shut when his uncle shushes him.

"You told me you wouldn't be home."

"I wasn't. But then... Steve... work... eh!"

He gives up on the whole speaking words thing and pinches his nose. Maybe if he applies enough pressure, his brain will explode and he won't have to think about his uncle waiting on bated breath for him to leave the house, giving him the all-clear to bring a goddamn date home.

A date...

He winces.

"Darn it, Eddie!" Wayne says as he rubs at the back of his neck, "I guess I should'a told ya. This whole thing is..."

He stops and nods, grumbling as he looks down at his worn grandpa-like slippers. Eddie's heart sinks. That's the same look he's seen on his uncle's face many times. And each and every time that look has had something to do with Wayne feeling like he screwed up as Eddie's parental figure.

"I just need..." he struggles.

"Time to think it all over?" Wayne asks.

He nods meekly, flopping down to sit with his uncle. Wayne pats him on the knee, neither of them saying anymore.

That is until the fly screen squeaks and they both look up to find Scott fully dressed and gesturing inside.

"Uh..." he hums and Eddie looks down, forgiving of his awkwardness - he feels like an asshole, now, "Breakfast is ready."

He hums to himself and looks towards Wayne's truck.

But Wayne stands and steps towards him.

"You're staying," he insists before turning back to Eddie, "And you're coming inside too."

"Can I um..." he really does feel like a goddamn kid again, "Can I eat in my room? I, uh... I just need to think about things."

"Thought is essential to our growth as human beings," Scott muses.