#depressed Peter Parker

[thefanfictiontaria]

Light in the dark

Fandom: MCU

Genre: hurt/comfort

TW: suicide attempt, very brief mentions of assault

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark

Peter was fine, truly. Except for the numb feeling inside.

===

I had a great thought about someone panicking for whatever reason and this was made.

================

[29/03/2024] This fanfiction was posted on ao3 by me. it was slightly edited. new fic here

Peter was fine.

Really, he tried to be.

He smiled through the days. He laughed at Ned’s jokes, he smiled when Aunt May came home. But he never felt it. It was automatic really.

In reality, Peter felt dull.

The monotone routine was exasperating. He knew he shouldn’t feel like this. He has no reason to feel like this. He knows Tony stark for hells sake! He’s Spiderman!

He’s Spiderman.

And he sees so much goddamn death and pain every single day.

Sometimes he’s late to the scene and arrives just as the oppressor finishes his job.

Sometimes he just finds a body and someone running away.

Sometimes he has to see life leaving someone’s eyes.

So he thought, why? Why live in a world full of pain and suffering? For every person he saved, there’s 20 that got robbed, assaulted or died.

He is no hero.

A hero could save everyone. A hero could really smile. A hero doesn’t have problems.

He is no hero. He is useless.

So now Peter stands on the edge of the bridge, his phone and shoes abandoned on the other side of the rails.

He has nothing to lose. The numbness consumed him to the point of no return.

The cold air of November bit his skin, the fog blurred his vision. The surface seemed so far away, but he knew it wasn’t as far as it looked.

He took in a breath, and jumped.

The air was even colder as he fell.

Then he felt a sudden impact.

His back hit the water and it felt as if someone pushed the air out of his lungs.

Then he began sinking.

Panic set in.

He tried to breathe in, but he was met with all surrounding water.

He tried to swim.

Everything hurt.

Why does everything hurt?

It should be painless.

He thought it would be painless. Why does it hurt?

It’s so cold.

He doesn’t want to die.

He has Ned to live for.

He has MJ.

What will they think when they see him dead?

His corpse being dragged out of the river.

Everything hurts.

He doesn’t want to die he doesn’t want to die HE DOESN’T WANT TO DIE

He can see light.

He’s underwater, where did light come from?

Maybe I should swim towards it?

He can’t move.

Why can’t he move?

The light got closer.

How?

Everything is so fuzzy.

Everything is dark.

~~~

Tony was just in his workshop, adding small details to one of his newest tablets. The thing was almost done, but it still needed the tiniest bit of colour to truly feel like a stark invention. Of course it wasn’t just his invention, Peter helped a lot in the process. The kid was very helpful in inventing and engineering a lot of things.

Lately though, Stark has been concerned. Due to spending that much time with the kid he knew certain speaking patterns and behaviours of his. That’s how he noticed the slow decline in Peter’s happiness. He’s been acting less and less enthusiastic for some time.

The most obvious sign that something was wrong when Peter stopped responding to the small remarks by the man. It’s not that he stopped smiling at all, he still gave little laughs and grins, but the light from his eyes was gone. Tony looked with concern at his kid and asked some questions, but it was brushed off.

“I’m fine! I just didn’t get a lot of sleep today, that’s all. I swear!”

Tony got very worried but never thought it would get any worse, he just thought it was seasonal depression.

“Mr. Stark, Peter seems to be in high distress.” FRIDAY boomed through the speakers, breaking the scientist out of his deep thoughts.

“Oh yeah? Do you know why this is?” Tony usually shrugged off the many alarms that FRIDAY gave him on a daily basis, especially the high heart rate ones. The kid was prone to stressful situations, the alarm was installed for the more severe ones. Stressful tests were one thing, but being shot at by one of the criminals he was trying to stop was something that should definitely have a safety measure installed.

“I am almost certain he is in danger, Mr. Stark. His heart rate is unnaturally fast.” Tony stopped in his tracks.

“Well, what is he doing? Where is he?”

“He is on the edge of the Marine Parkway Bridge. He seems to be standing on the other side of the rails.”

“HE IS WHAT?! GET ME MY SUIT RIGHT NOW.” Tony scampered out of his workshop and towards the nearest balcony. He felt the metal engulfing him before he flew out of the tower and towards the location.

“FRIDAY, connect to Peter’s phone, call him now.”

“He seems to have turned off his phone, sir.”

“Shit,” he swore under his breath.

Soon enough he saw the bridge and the small figure of Peter letting go of the rail. He saw the fall.

Tony quickly got to action, flying towards where the figure hit the water and diving headfirst into the dark depths. He saw Peter sink, he saw him shift just slightly. The man grabbed the limp figure of his intern before flying to the surface.

He carried Peter back to the bridge. At first he seemed to not be breathing, which scared Tony, but after a few seconds the boy took in a heavy breath before coughing a few times. He remained unconscious.

Tony noticed the teenager left his shoes, watch and phone on the sidewalk. He then asked FRIDAY for a scan of Peter’s vitals.

“It appears that his heartbeat is irregular and he has liquid in his lungs and stomach." Tony was taken aback by it all. He quickly grabbed Peter and his belongings before flying back to the tower.

“FRIDAY, get the med bay ready for Peter. I want the best staff there right now.”

“Sir, it’s 1 am.”

“I don’t care! Get whoever is there ready for Peter! I am not losing my kid today!” Tony sped up.

When they finally reached the tower, he almost broke the window that was quickly opened for him to fly directly into the med bay before leaving Peter to the doctors.

~~~

Peter’s eyes slowly opened to be blinded by bright white lights. He thought he finally entered heaven, that was until he heard the beeping of a heart monitor and felt the intense smell of sanitizer. He was in the med bay.

“Fuck,” he swore, noticing how dry his mouth was.

He felt a stir to his right. He turned to see none other than his mentor sitting next to him, seemingly just woken up from sleep. The man quickly regained his composure before embracing Peter in a light hug.

“Peter! Oh thank god you’re alive!” Tony let go, just holding the boy’s shoulders. “You got me so worried! What were you thinking?! Jumping off of the bridge, almost like you tried to-“ he stopped in his tracks upon noticing the blank stare Peter gave him. It was blank, and yet so much emotion hid behind it. Sandess. Anger. Agony. Grief.

“Peter, were you trying to actually…?”

The silence was painful.

It was broken by a silent tap of a tear on the white covers.

“Yes. I wanted to kill myself.”

Peter slowly started crying. “I actually tried to… I tried to kill myself. I went through with it. And I lived! I fucking lived! Why the fuck can’t I just-“ he fell sobbing into Tony’s embrace, who quickly accepted the hug.

“Peter… I don’t know what you’re going through, but know this: I’m always here for you. Your aunt is always here for you. Your friends are always here for you. If you ever feel like you need to talk about you emotions, please do. If you need like you need a therapist, just tell me, and I’ll find you the best one in the city. Just, please… Talk to us. Talk to me.” The grip got a bit tighter.

And suddenly Peter knew.

He knew he had people to live for.

He knew he could maybe make a change.

He just needed a little bit of help.

There was light at the end of the tunnel afterall.

[iwasbored777]

Why do Gwen and Miles mirror Peter B and MJ so much and does that mean that they will get a happy ending too

[boredgrace23-gracepotts]

I personally ship Lego Spiderman and Miguel together, but this is fine too.

Apparently their ship name is "Spiderdad(s)", which is incredible and hilarious and every word in the dictionary that's similar to amazing and funny

[constanthinople]

Warm up kissies bc I was listening to Labios Rotos

[laloward]

this is their dynamic. to me

[ID: a redraw of a meme featuring Spider-Man. Peter Parker (in suit) is shown looking downright miserable, with dark colors and black hatching around his face to accentuate this, with text on the side attributed to him that says "The world is a cruel and unjust place. There is no harmony in the universe. The only constant is suffering." Then, indicated by text that says "minutes later," Peter is shown with a significantly brightened expression as Miles Morales (also in his suit) is seen leaning in and giving a peace sign. Peter says "OMG Miles hi" in all caps, while Miles replies with "sup lol." End ID]

[irondadmadlads]

Irondad Prompt #142:

Tony: Hey kid. You haven’t been patrolling much, everything okay?

Peter: Uh… actually, um… I have something for you… *hands Tony his suit*

Tony: Wha-?

Peter: Because I’m nothing with or without the suit

Tony:

Peter: So I shouldn’t have it

[ask-cloverfield]

once Peter got engaged to MJ he stopped saying he’d kill himself at the slightest provocation and instead shifter to threatening to kill anyone in sight at the slightest provocation

growth heart emoji

[jjsshit]

Peter B: stress is bad for the baby

Miguel: who?, mayday?

Peter B: no, me-

[sincericida]

ANDREW GARFIELD

aka Peter Parker stay to top of building [deleted scene] from "The Amazing Spider-Man 2" (2014, dir Mark Webb)

This scene alone portrays Peter Parkers depressive disorder without even saying a word. Andrew did an amazing work here. One of the best scenes and they have deleted it. Screw u Sony.

TASM is like a slice of life movie in a super hero movie, and the third film about Peter’s life after the tragedy, was robbed from us.

(X)

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

It’s me, your favorite prompts blog!

I know you’ve written depression before. Can I have a short story where Peter is struggling with high-functioning depression? On the outside everything looks normal. On the inside, he feels like crap.

And Tony notices Peter’s not himself anymore

Mini Fic #4 for this round is here! (and prompts are still open! If you have something you would like to see me write in less than 1k, send me an ask! Anon or otherwise) This hurt/comfort prompt was tricky to squeeze into so few words, but I managed it! Thanks for sending in the idea @itsmechara426!

Not Alone 811 Words

Peter wasn’t sure when it had happened. But at some point he’d realized his days were nothing more than an elaborate performance. The banter, the jokes, even the pop culture references were all meticulously crafted performances meant to shroud the weighty emotions that had settled so deeply within him. He carried them all around in the back of his head. Buried deeply behind the pleasant facade he’d grown so accustomed to. He didn’t want to burden anyone with what was surely a personal matter. Not his friends, not his aunt, and especially not Mr. Stark.

Mr. Stark was a busy man. He had responsibilities pouring in from every aspect of his life. Stark Industries needed his intellect, Pepper needed her partner, and the world needed Iron Man. Peter understood this and always made a point of not demanding too much Mr. Stark’s time. He didn’t ask about lab days or seek advice. There was no reason for him to be selfish. Mr. Stark didn’t owe him anything, least of all his time. So, despite his longing for a few additional hours spent in his mentor’s presence. He kept his mouth clamped up tight.

Peter sighed, taking a seat at the edge of an abandoned building to take in the view. Mr. Stark’s number popped up on his HUD. He considered ignoring it, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good. If Mr. Stark wanted to talk to him, then Mr. Stark would talk to him.

As expected, the call was pushed through after three rings. “Hey, Kiddo. I’ve got some time this afternoon. Want to stop by and fine-tune that new web-fluid you’ve been messing with?”

“Uh, Yeah, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, plastering a fake smile across his face. “That sounds awesome.”

A look crossed Mr. Stark face. But it was so fleeting that Peter didn’t have a chance to decipher it. If he were to guess, he’d say it was concern. But that didn’t make any sense. Despite the misery swirling in his chest, he was acting out an expected enthusiasm with the practiced ease of a habitual liar. He batted the suspicion away, writing it off as a mild case of paranoia.

As he entered the lab, he made sure to add a skip to his step. He offered an exuberant greeting, bolted across the room and began pulling chemical components out of the cabinet without having to be asked.

Mr. Stark joined him at the workbench, reviewed the formula and provided a few suggestions. Peter nodded along and started mixing. It felt like a typical lab day until Mr. Stark casually shifted the subject miles way from chemical bonding.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

Peter blinked, doing his best to remain upbeat and neutral. “Of course.”

“I mean about more than just science,” Mr. Stark said. He sounded frustrated but his face and tone relayed nothing but gentle concern. “I can tell you’ve not been yourself recently, and I’d really like to know what’s going on.”

“I- It’s nothing, Mr. Stark.” Peter swallowed, struggling to determine an answer that suited his act “Just- Personal stuff.”

To Peter’s relief, Mr. Stark didn’t press. He placed a gentle hand on the back of his neck and gave it a comforting squeeze. “Well, if you ever decide you do want to talk about it, I’m here to listen.”

Hesitantly, Peter considered the offer. He waffled greatly between not wanting to be a nuisance and a surprising desire to open up to Mr. Stark. Although he struggled to see how it would help. Negativity had a tendency to be contagious, and he didn’t want to be the contaminant. He glanced up, his wary eyes meeting Mr. Stark’s worried ones. He suddenly felt compelled to say something. Anything to ease the building tension.

“Honestly, I don’t know what’s going on. Not really. Sometimes I just- I feel like I’m drowning,” he tentatively explained. It already felt like too much. He snapped his mouth shut and mumbled. .”The last thing I want to do is to drag you down with me.”

Mr. Stark’s expression softened. “You wouldn't be dragging me anywhere, Buddy. I’m ready to jump in willingly, life raft in hand.” He smiled sadly. “You don’t have to go through this alone, Buddy. I’m here for you.”

Not feeling obligated to handle everything on his own sounded wonderful. He wanted to follow through, open his mouth and let all the words come tumbling out. But he managed to choke them back. He wasn’t certain he was prepared for that. Instead, he leaned into Mr. Stark, initiating a rare hug. ”Thanks, Mr. Stark,'' he murmured. “But I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it just yet.”

“That's fine, Bud.” Mr. Stark turned his head, kissing the side or Peter’s head in the process. “But when you are. I’m right here.”

[localwebslingers]

@inhcursed asked: "trust me, if i could go to someone else, i would."

------

Peter would be well within his right to slam the door in Harry's face, or call the police, anything but hear him out. It would be reasonable, it would feel justified, after everything that had happened. After Harry had gone out of his way to take Gwen and drag her into the middle of a fight she had no reason to be part of, that ended up getting her killed. After sending a list of powered and enhanced villians, ranging from actively criminal to jaded scientists, in Peter's direction to try and beat him down for good.

After Harry had tried and so very clearly wanting him dead, just because Peter had tried to keep him safe from something terrible...

The day that Harry Osborn got out of Ravencroft, either released or escaped, was something that haunted Peter. Waking nightmares that let him spiral into his own head wondering who would be hurt or killed next because of him. Driving him into keeping himself as isolated from others as possible, with only May left in his life to keep him anything close to grounded. In other ones consuming his dreams. To fill them with that same laugh and malicious, snarling grin he'd witnessed the last time they were together. All accompanied with the echos of crashing metal, explosions, and clock chimes that would cling to him until the day he really did finally die himself.

This? Harry coming to him to ask him for help once again? That wasn't even at the very bottom of the list of reasons why Peter might see his best friend- ...his former best friend, again. It felt like a sick joke from the universe, some poorly disguised plan to try and trick him in the end. A mockery of what had happened before eveything had gone so horribly wrong in the first place.

...and yet that was exactly why Peter was hesitating in the doorway, because Harry was also right. If there was anyone else, anyone in the entire city, that he could go to for help, for anything, he would. Peter should not be on that list of options. Not anymore, and yet if he was being told the truth, that's exactly where his name was. On the list. It was a sick joke, it was insane to believe. It twisted something in his chest that Peter actively tried to pretend wasn't there, even on his worst days. When he hated himself more than anything.

It also begged the question of just what the hell Harry needed help with so badly that he was willing to swallow all of that and come to see Peter.

He hadn't moved or responded for several seconds, which Peter would openly admit he felt entitled to while he debated what to do and tried to just remember to breathe. The door handle in his hand was also, probably, about to be torn off. Just from him trying to keep from cracking over the fact that he'd opened the front door to Harry Osborn. May wasn't home..that was possibly the only thing letting him even try to think rationally and calmly. Finally, he took two steps forward and closed the door behind him, keeping his eyes on Harry and somehow, finding his voice, "Alright, let's talk..."

Harry had come to him, at least possibly, for his help. Which meant he was desperate. Again. Even with five years and the death of Gwen Stacy between them, Peter couldn't bring himself to say no.

[spider-man-2o99]

(shaking you, wailing, frothing at the mouth, etc.) miguel is a heavily-traumatized person and. like. i really just cannot stress enough that that influences just So Much Of How He Acts, man.

[drstrangedaughter]

Real photo of me 24/7 in the throes of compulsive overthinking in my room.

[jbbuckybarnes]

How Peter Parker would comfort and care for a depressed loved one

(don't mind me, just some self-indulgence I wrote when I was in the trenches of depression)

• "No, no, no, what we're not gonna do is feel guilty. This world is a depressing place when the rest of you isn't stable. And the world loves making people unstable."

• He'd meal prep for you, wake you up on time to keep your rhythm in check, bring you sleep tea, watch movies with you on particularly bad days.

• "What's your current take on going outside? Vitamin D might do you good." He'd ask cautiously.

• You'd tense up at the idea of spending more energy than you had but knew it was needed to get better.

• "I can...carry you to the rooftop?" He'd raise his brow.

• You'd do grabby hands at him from the bed.

• You'd chill on the sunny rooftop for 45 minutes every now and then, not talking much, just existing.

• "What are your thoughts on therapy?" He'd mumble a few weeks down the line.

• "The only thing my insurance covers is CBT. I fucking hate CBT."

• "What if we figure out a way to pay someone you can choose?"

• "I don't wa-" "Na-ah, friends help friends survive."

• Please imagine Spider-Man making a couple extra bucks by helping people install solar panels and carrying heavy stuff.

• He'd sit down next to you with a laptop and you'd search for therapy options.

• "DBT. IFS. EFT. The other EFT. Hypnotherapy. Logo Therapy. Integrative Therapists for Psychedelics. Somatic Experiencing." Even he was overwhelmed with the option.

• "IFS. Hypnotherapy. Maybe Logo Therapy." You mumbled and he decluttered the tabs.

• You landed on a woman doing both IFS & Hypnotherapy. Both things that intrigued you.

• "I mean if nothing else works...drugs still exist." You'd shrug and he'd smirk at that.

• He'd bring you to your first appointment giving you the biggest hug before you went in.

• The woman would explain to you that you needed to get mentally resourced first and that she'd try with a specific type of hypnosis to see if that helps.

• When Peter saw you get out of the building he'd instantly put his arm around you while walking.

• "I'm so tired." You'd mumble leaning against him while walking, trusting him to lead the way while you were spacing out, "Gonna tell you about it after a long sleep."

• You'd wake up the next morning with energy. Still depressed, but not quite as depressed as the previous days. He slept over to make sure there were no weird aftereffects.

• You would look at him sleeping and get up to make yourself something simple to eat.

• He'd peek his eye open before both of them were wide open seeing you standing in the kitchen.

• "Woah." He mumbled before getting up and hugging you.

• "How was it?" You paused for a second, "That's what he said."

• You told him what the hypnosis felt like and that you went back to the origin of your depression and did some inner child work thing. And the hypnosis took a lot more out of you than you expected. And now you had more energy and hoped it wasn't short-form placebo.

• "Even if it is, she can still do the other work with you." You nodded.

• "Can we go for a short walk?" He'd eagerly nod.

• Over the weeks you'd get better and better at coping with your symptoms and connecting to your inner parts. You'd figure out your triggers and how to calm yourself out of them.

• He'd love to see you flourish and take you on little friend (👀) dates all across New York City the more energy you'd have.

• He'd make sure you'd keep seeing the beautiful things in the world. He'd program your TV to not show news. He'd actually send you good news deliberately.

• "We should live together." You'd suggest.

• "If you can handle the feds searching the apartment at some point." He'd giggle.

• "I'd be good with that. I'd hide little things making it awkward for them." You both laughed.

[spidergrotto]

peter post breakdown wearing oversized pajamas dark bags under his eyes hair ALMOST matted wandering around the tower (everyone’s shocked because they didn’t know he was even?? here??) grabbing literally everything in the kitchen before hiding in his room again.

he’s watching movies mindlessly eating really sour grapes, chocolate toast, chips, and yogurt. thor is the only person who has the ability to drag him out of his cave and get him excited to do ANYTHING.

“wanna go work in the lab? or i’ve got tickets..”

“i’m good mr.stark, thanks.”

“MAN OF SPIDERS, LETS GO GET SOME ICE CREAM AND—-”

“OF COURSE GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES”

[irondadmadlads]

Irondad Prompt #188:

(TW: This prompt deals with depression, anti-depressants, and self harm. Proceed with caution).

Peter: Hey Mr. Stark… do I need to take my anti-depressants at the same time everyday…?

Tony: …why??

Peter: Um… Ivebeenthinkingabouthurtingmyself