#diary of a grad school kid

[almondcroissantsandink]

was absolutely stopped in my tracks and BLOWN away yesterday at work when a coworker called me pure; I literally haven't been called that in over a decade and there's always been something about it that rubs me the wrong way

[daydreamlng]

.

[mac-cheez]

My Guide To Surviving The Waynes

This is inspired by an earlier post of mine and will be in an epistolary/Dracula style in the view of said uni student. I hope y'all like it!

Thxs @arrowheadedbitch for proofread and confidence.

Pt. 2 Pt. 3

--------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

I'm not a diary person really. I was always told it helps you relax or work through your feelings, but it never seemed worth it...... well not till now. Not till a "normal" morning for me was eating cereal while shouting goes through the house and under threat of death if I finish the milk. This is what's currently happening as I write this on my laptop trying not to spill said cereal. As I listened to another argument between Tim and Damian about something inconsequential (something about galleries robbing banks?), I finally caved and started writing. I figure this could be useful for reference or advice or even study (these bitches are weird as hell). Maybe I should start with how I got here?

I grew up down South. The bible belt was a weird place, but I survived I guess. My parents are loving and as understanding as they can be with their own experiences and opinions. My father is Army so we were lucky to not be on wheels at all times. My only major move was my sophomore year of high school. I decided to apply for the exchange program and was picked due to my fluency in French. I was sent to Paris and, loved it so much I decided to stay. I was able to stay till graduation and still keep in touch with my friends. I know, picture perfect right?

After graduation, I applied to many different Universities and programs hoping for a good criminal justice program to learn in. Forensics was the main interest I was looking for. It just so happened that Gotham University's Forensics and Criminal Justice Facilities just got updated by the Wayne Foundation (probably to deal with the crime problem). I saw that it met all of my criteria and applied not thinking about it. A couple of my picks fell through, but most came back as acceptances. I was about to accept one of my local Universities when I got the Gotham U acceptance letter. It said the usual spiel of "we'd love to have you, blah, blah, blah", I was about to throw it in the pile when I saw one specific detail, "We boast a 95% employment rate of our Science-based graduates."

After some research, I found out that it was true. Most GU grads get hired straight out of school if they have a scientific degree. That paired with the brand new facilities made me reconsider. I talked with my parents, and they agreed that it was likely the best option, but they were concerned about me living in the dorms or an apartment in a place like Gotham. I was about to suggest living in a city nearby and just commuting when my dad asked us to wait for a minute. He made some calls while I talked with my mom about other things concerning the move. When he came back he said he had a friend from work who I could stay with. He told me he had a couple kids my age and plenty of room. It wasn't till I was in the limo with a very nice elderly man on my way to said friend's house that I realized he meant Bruce Fucking Wayne. Once he parked (his name is Alfred btw) I got my luggage out and kinda just stared. He asked to take my bags but I just said no thank you. He hummed and led me to the door. It was quiet when he opened the door which I thought would be normal, but the worry on his face told me otherwise.

Suddenly from the hall, two boys ran by one yelling "MERCY" while the other smaller boy chased him with a sword and........ pink hair? I was concerned, but Alfred seemed more at ease so I tried not to think about it too much. Behind them, a guy came from the same hallway snickering at his phone.

"Master Duke, would you mind filling me in on the situation at hand?" Alfred asked him.

"Oh yeah Alfred, it was hilarious," 'Duke' said laughing, "so Tim put pink dye in the shampoo for Dick and then-," he stopped looking at me. "Uhhhhhhhh, Who's the girl?" He asked.

"A guest of Master Bruce," said Alfred.

"Oh! Oh. Uh, You're not......... ya know..... a guest," he asked.

"No god no I'm not that broke yet," I explained hoping the humor would land.

It seemed to because he immediately brightened and started introducing himself as Duke Thomas, one of Mr. Waynes Wards. I introduced myself and why I was there. It seemed like he was going to ask something when there was a crash and he said he should "make sure no one gets stabbed again".

"Well that was eventful," I said looking towards the hall he exited through.

"I'm sure you'll get used to it," said Afred, worrying me a little. This wasn't an occasional thing?

He started leading me-;skjfbsgdpibzebERROR++vbvnjkm;n;mxcvz;'anrvbA:----

[tedwardremus]

Tagged by @annabtg!

🍓 how did you get into writing fanfiction?

I wrote fanfiction with my sister in a shared notebook when we were in elementary school. Then when the first Harry Potter movies came out in 2001 I was an active pre-teen on the WB Harry Potter message boards which then brought me to Mugglenet and FictionAlley.

🍇How many fandoms have you written in?

4- Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Princess Diaries, Twilight,

🍈 How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Over twenty years but with breaks

�� Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I've gone through phases. I went ten years without writing anything but I was still an active reader. I'm no back to writing and reading

🍌 What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Well since I've been writing since I was a kid I hope I've improved a lot lol. I do one think is confidence though. I write for myself, not for the approval of others.

🍑 Do you have any bad habits as a writer?

Posting quickly. I need to slow down and allow things to breathe before I post.

🍍 What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I went deep into medieval markets but then I didn't use any of it because I just wanted to do what narratively made sense and not what was historically accurate.

🍉What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Any comments! It is such a gift to receive a little note that someone enjoyed what I wrote, even its just a little heart. I appreciate everything.

🍐What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I'm the only person interested in writing about Frank Longbottom (if another Frank girlie is out there please hit me up)

🥭What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Multi-chapter (I'm too impatient!)

🍏What is the easiest type?

Simple scenes or one-shots that have been stuck in my brain for a long time.

🍑Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Google docs. Usually in the morning before work

🍋What is something you've been too nervous/ intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I'm not sure. I'm pretty much of the perspective that this fun and I do this for me so if I want to write something I will and if I'm struggling to write something or not having fun I'll table it for later.

🍇What made you choose your username?

Back when I was in grad school I made this secondary blog so I could share my depressed grad school thoughts away from my main blog. When I started writing fanfiction again I just started posting on this blog instead of my main since I didn't want to flood people with Harry Potter content. I debate with myself all the time if I want to change my username becuase I don't feel a connection to this username anymore and I don't really like being reminded how depressed I was in my twenties. But I don't know what my username should be so I;m stuck.

[theluxuriansecret]

Dear Diary 10102023

9:56 am

I realized what I have been doing wrong. I mean, tbh I've known for a while and yet the behavior hasn't changed but now that I recognize it, I can fix it. I go way to hard on day one, and do not pace myself. I also have no fucking discipline, which I'v been talking about for months but have barely seen any fucking change about it. I get so caught up in my head about the doing, so I don't do. It like stunts me, and so I can't think about the actual doing. I have to think of what needs to be done, and what it means to be done with said thing.

My future does not give a fuck about how I feel. And I need to stop acting like my GPA is high or some shit because it's really not, and if I want to go to grad school and move out and do all these things, I need to really get it the fuck together.

One thing I've realized is I am not nearly as independent as I like to think that I am like fr. I do not do my own laundry, I do not make my own dinner (for the most part my mom cooks). I don't grocery shop. I do not budget. I am actually incredibly bad with money. I CAN be careless, but tbh I don't feel like I make that much for it to be called careless spending. I don't have bills. Now I want to take advantage of the fact that I do not have all these things, but as badly as I want to get the fuck out of my home, I do not act like it. Am I as grown and responsible as I like to think? Am I really capable of taking care of myself for real? I mean, honestly who am I kidding I'm incredibly smart and I've done it before. I don't know what I'm worried about. I don't even know if the feeling is "worried" it's just excitement? Concern? idk.

Bro I so badly just want to be out of my fucking house. I feel like it does stunt my growth as a person and I'm tired of feeling like guilty and wanting to help my mom out with my life. I need to do my own thing.

[riversidewings]

So this is going to be part of my Combat Doll Diaries essay series on my website, but for now, I figure I can say a few things.

It's a useful term to encompass the intersection of my preferred hard-femme presentation, my goals in body modding as someone who identifies as a cyborg and as altersex, my sexuality (girls are prettyyyyy 😍), my engagement with Daoist thought which argues for "non-action," and the relief I feel in doing and feeling rather than thinking, as a former gifted kid who went to grad school and earned a doctorate that badly burned her out.

As someone who also grew up with a lot of shame around having ADHD, it's also something that effortlessly defuses that shame. Rather than kicking myself for forgetting something, it's "silly bimbo, try again✨"

Also, before I forget, hats off to Candi Bimbo Doll, whose successful name change lawsuit in the Court of Appeal of the State of California, First Appelate District, Division Two, singlehandedly carved out a place for bimbofication as an empowering concept, in the eyes of American jurisprudence.

Y'know, a lot of people see it a lot of different ways, but...

What does being a bimbo mean to you?

I'm really curious, I wanna see what you all think! (or don't think, hehe)

[gracelbranch-blog]

Dear Diary: Quick Job Complaint!

I know looking for jobs is a brutal cycle for everyone right now and literally so many people have had bad luck which makes me feel better because like. Same. However seeing some people succeed so quickly, while awesome for them, makes me feel like SHIT (working on coming to terms with everyone having different opportunities than me).

I think I was fucked over from the get-go and it honestly started with me not living in the Detroit Metro Area full time, which is where I went to school. I didn't have apartment money, and even if I did (like when my unemployment finally came through or my grandma's inheritance came through), I was not going to commit to a year-long lease when I didn't know if I would end up elsewhere for a couple months or what have you. And yes also I'm a wimp and quite frankly the thought of figuring out a place to live for myself was a lot for me to handle when I knew I had my mom's house to live in for free for as long as I needed if I was working or in school.

So even if I got an interview or was reached out to by a company, I always fell short and 50% of the time it was because I wasn't "local". I remember so specifically I told this one place I could come down for an interview but I needed a specific day because I had an appointment one day and I would have to drive an house and a half and they were like ooh no can do. I never said no to commuting or finding a place to live. I could have found an apartment or lived with a family member in the area, no problem. But I wasn't going to commit unless I had a job and I don't know why they didn't accept that? That was fucking stupid. Thus begins that cycle. Which bled into the bigger issue that I still have currently which is...not enough experience.

Because my entire four years in college consisted of retail work or no work, I am now being pit against other people who have experience in the field and that is TOUGH. I had three interviews with a studio I really vibed with, I drove 3 hours away in the middle of the week to see them, they told me about their HEALTH INSURANCE, it was for an intern position and one of the owners literally called it bitch work, which was fine by me because HEY it's an introduction to the field I have been studying to go into. Like a week after all this I get the rejection email because they wanted someone with more experience. Okay...for bitch work around an office...whatever. That pissed me off so bad I honestly could get real fired up thinking about it and also they have a kid with a really stupid name.

But it just goes to show that even entry level jobs are hard to get because they still want experience. I am past some of the intern phases because they all want students who have an anticipated graduation date. They don't want some washed up grad who's been working retail since leaving school and maybe forgot a lot of what she knew? But like over and over again it's been me applying and feeling embarrassed and annoyed that I don't have real world experience (not even freelance), and then like I'm not local to where I want to be in the future and maybe they have beef with that.

I think I'm honestly mega upset with myself for setting myself up for failure like sophomore year of college. Even though our faculty didn't give my class as much support as we should have had, like I feel like I didn't work hard enough. And now I'm fucked. Laugh out loud.

Okay that's all this was supposed to be quick but I am annoyed and now the job search continues!

[monstersandmagicians]

September Reading Recap

Found this half-finished in my drafts, so I figured I'd post in on ... Feb 1st 2025. that's on four months late. Apparently I read 8 books and I'm no digging out my notebook to check, so here we go.

The Fury and The Reunion - L. J. Smith (books 3 & 4 of The Vampire Diaries)

Last two books in the original quartet, although The Fury felt like the end of the trilogy. Very 90s (everyone seems cool with a highschooler dating a post-grad). Enjoyed the creepy Elena dreams in The Reunion, wished for some better character work, but we all had fun.

(Also made me consider rereading my L. J. Smith series - The Forbidden Game. Have limited library access for the rest of the year, though, so we'll see).

(edit: did not reread The Forbidden Game, might do so this year, might not. Its not a priority, but it would be fun, yk)

10 Things that Never Happened - Alexis Hall

Romance where one character fakes amnesia. Almost brought me to tears several times. Reread the last couple of chapters the following night and barely fought off the urge to reread the whole book. Very much an Alexis Hall novel with insightful things to say about class and society.

My Own Worst Enemy - Robert Edric

Snippets of Edric's childhood in working class 1960s Sheffield. Kinda depressing (gee, I wonder if this slew of books might be linked to my mental crash around this time). Wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but still had some value for me (obviously, this book has a lot of value anyway, but I came here for a reason) - if anyone does have some good recs about life in England's North, probably from the 1970s onwards, send them my way. A mix of upper class and working class would be appreciated.

(edit: the WIP I was reading this for might be set near Liverpool now, but I'm still taking recs.)

Blind Spot - Robyn Dennison

My first thought reading this was that it was a text I expect will be studied in a few high school English classes in the next couple of years, which, considering I picked it up because of its Notable Australian Children’s Books 2024 sticker makes sense. I think I might start targeting these books in particular for my YA reading - looking at the other notable books, there are some interesting looking titles.

Anyway, the book. Dale - who is lucky this book is in 1st person because I have a thing against Dales - witnesses the sexual assault of a girl at a party and is living with the guilt of having just walked away. Also, he's mum has left him and his dad, and now his cousin, who he barely knows, is moving in while she gets treatment for her eating disorder. I think that tell you what sort of novel this is and I wonder what it says about me that I can just handle this in YA form but would have to walk away if it was in adult form, but I digress. This was Dennison's debut, but it is a competent, well structured novel, even if I found the ending a bummer (again, perfect for English class discussions).

Talking of high school, Blind Spot and Wrong Answers Only, plus a splattering of the other OzYA books I've read have left me wondering exactly how different high school (and uni) is in the Eastern states. Like, why is Dale starting Year 12 in term 4? Why is top marks and great UCAT Marco studying BioMed instead of going straight into medicine? Why did the the Year 12s have Muck Up Day after exams? Like, seriously, why? And, are exams worth more of your final grade or something? Honestly, if some Victorian comes in and tells me actually their entire grade is from their exam, like taking an A-Level, I might just bite something. Like, that's an insane way to do it, and not fair to a lot of students, but, also, not fair to the insane person - ME - who would have thrived under that. Also, what's with the smoking?

Anyway, the past is a foreign country, but so is someone else's high school experience.

(edit: so the kid's new school do an actual semester change over at the end of term 4, so I guess that's a thing)

Wrong Answers Only - Tobias Madden

OzYA. For some reason I picked up a book about a series of events that would mess with me and expected it to not mess with me. I literally cannot comment on the book because if you thought the rant above was something, we do not need to unpack the thoughts this book invoked in me.

Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat

Edit: All I had written here was 'another Aussie author', which is a disservice to the talent of Pacat, whose Dark Rise was so good I left my phone on the train. So, what can I say about CaPri? Its a well written debut with a set of trigger warnings as long as my arm. Its the sort of book I only got through because I had been comprehensively spoiled by tumblr, but I do plan on finishing the series this year. If you are going to like this book, tumblr has probably already tossed it your way.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - V. E. Schwab

Reread. Wasn't really paying attention, so I don't really have much to say; my feelings haven't really changed and I wish my copy was a mass market paperback, not trade.

(also relistened to a Schwab interview that suggested that one part of the book I found clunky was intentional, so, that's fun)

(edit: I have no bloody clue what that last sentence is referencing)

[mymind-dump]

which woman do i become?

ahhh. sighhh. back to my virtural diary where i can bitch and moan about my life problems, which are so small compared to what others are going through. but i digress. i have a dilemma, one of many, that ive been contemplating so often lately. what kind of women do i want to become and how do my life choices feed into the different options?

since my last entry in this public, virtual diary, i have aquired a boyfriend whom i love with the entirety of my heart. we have been together for just about six months but i know i love him completely and that the love i have for him is brand new and a love i have never had for anyone else. we fit so well together, we are two individual bodies sharing one soul. we have discussed getting married, though we are only 21 and (soon to be this month) 23. we are naive and young, we are not yet well-rounded people. we don't have jobs that will support us or a home; he has a lower paying job, i am finishing grad school. we are not at the point to get married but we want to do so anyway. i am weak in the knees in love, therfore i know i dont make sound decisons. but what can i do?

before i met my love, i was convinced i didnt want to be married, not ever. i liked boys and the way they could be so charming yet so deadly - their lack of considering others made them so. i wanted to be forever independent, not reliant on any man. i didnt want to be a housewife, nor couldnt understand why any woman would want to be one? it is so dangerous, to be reliant on a man. no income, most often no education or job history. with one snap of the fingers, as a housewife your whole life could be unearthed from beneath you. id be so paranoid and uneasy every day i lived as a housewife - i know i could not bear it. currently, i want to be well traveled, i want to become more educated. i want to have my own life before i have children. i want my space, i want to flutter freely across the sky. getting married could, and likely will, change my ability to do that.

now, on the otherhand, the idea of domesiticity excites me, which is something that is new. thinking about being married, with children, living a routine was unappealing, nearly disgusting to my senses. now i crave it. i imagine waking up in a bed with my lover, rolling over to be embraced by his sleeping body. i think of our kids littering our bed, scattered in between us. chaotic breakfasts and family walks, sticky hands and wedding anniversaries. i want it all, so much. i want it now at my early age. i dont know what has changed within me, but i want to be a wife. perhaps its the power of love, perhaps its the exhaustion of solitude.

don't get me wrong, i dont want to be dependent on him. i want my own career, my own money - in case things dont go the way i hope. i always have a plan b, c, and d. but i find myself looking at experiences society says i should expereince alone as something both my love and i can experience together. is this a compromise? i dont expect to compromise on the things i want to achieve, not ever, not once. nor would i think he would ask me too. is it wrong for me to seek wife-hood at such an early age? will it destory me or fufill me?

[penumbrapolaroid]

welcome to my secondary blog created in the summer of 2023. this can be considered a photo diary of my life, though i’m not entirely sure what to call it.

want to know more? feel free to keep reading below. thanks for checking this out

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tags, q&a’s, and an explanation:

why run this blog?

in order to clear storage on my phones throughout the years, i would transfer my entire camera roll onto my laptop. there was one time in late middle school where a transfer had failed, and the update wiped everything on my phone. to say i was devastated is putting it very lightly - i had permanently lost thousands of pictures over a couple years. ever since then, i took transfers very slowly, which included transferring them to more than one device.

overtime, things got crowded and majorly disorganized. being a kid, i didn’t think to actually organize everything… new phones had increasingly larger storage, so i had to transfer a lot less, and sometimes not at all. and the primary laptop i had been transferring to was getting pretty old.

so i decided to buy some external SSDs and put all of my pictures on those, to then go through them folder-by-folder. it’s been an interesting project, to say the least. a lot of things are coming back to me, good and bad. i’m smiling a lot and questioning my younger self pretty hardcore. she was cute, and i’m here to clean up the mess she made.

i wanted to share the journey of doing so.

life is a wildcard. the things you truly want will come to you when you’re least expecting them. it’s beautiful, horrifying, and ultimately something to admire. life is pretty fucking bold. so i’d like to sit back and gaze for a while.

about me:

Penn is a pseudonym that i go by on the internet

i am just a 23 year old recent grad trying to occasionally pass the time

there are about 80,000 photos that i have to go through. please buy me celsius. and keep me company.

posts may be frequent, or very infrequent - this is merely a side project that i will dabble in here and there. irl is cool, and i like being invested in it

most of these will be iPhone, and i can provide camera details if desired. use that “ask” button! some will be from other devices, such as Fuji and Canon cameras

this is supposed to be a creative outlet to reminisce. life has not been all that bad - sometimes we just need a little reminder of the better or worse times

thanks for reading. and if you know me irl, no you don’t

enjoy

[scaramint]

Diary of a Grumpy Kid

Freshman college student Itoshi Rin moves into his older brother Sae’s apartment to save on rent. However, his older brother lives with his boyfriend, Ryusei. Itoshi Rin hates his guts. The feeling is mutual. 

Main cast:

Itoshi Rin:

18yo college freshman (don't ask me his major)

Comes to live w his onii-chan bc his parents told him to

He actually idolizes his brother v much but is a massive tsundere

His brother’s boyfriend? Not so much. 

Itoshi Sae:

Tired 22yo college grad. Holding down an office job until he saves up to get an MBA

Official Rin wrangler

Rin and Ryusei drive him up the wall in very different ways

Knows his brother idolizes him but gently bullies him anyway

Shidou Ryusei:

22yo menace. Actually in med school.

No one knows how he got in

Thinks Rin is super cringe and fucking annoying, but his new favourite hobby is annoying him to the point of tears

Sometimes has a begrudging alliance with Rin if they both did things they don't want Sae to find out about.

i want a rin centric fic,,,,, diary of a wimpy kid style,,,,, where he moves in with his brother to save on rent. except now he has to deal with the devil spawn that is sae's boyfriend alr living there, shidou ryusei.

his inner monologue would be so fucking funnyyyy i wanna be a fly on the itoshi household wall

[superstarfighter]

Wednesday, September 15, 2021 [84/100] :: Yesterday I started the day with my coworking session at 7.45 am. We have to start this a bit earlier this week because my friend is attending a conference. My head and brain is a bit overwhelmed right now and I couldn't focus very well on my work. Today I'll try to focus on writing my last paper, or rather bringing it into shape and also polish a few details here and there in my thesis.

I took it easy the last two days. On Monday I did a bit of an 9/11 day, watched a documentary (and then some more) and I have this infantile fascination with watching footage from that day and how surreal all these events seem, even now, 20 years later. How unimaginable it all was, how badly the world has changed, how it demonised millions of people in the turn of a week or so.

Then I remembered this one book that I never read but that was recommended a few times. Turns out for a long time it was the favourite book of one of my friends. So I started reading "Extremely loud & incredibly close" by Jonathan Safran Foer. I made it through the first 4 or 5 chapters in one day and I enjoy it a lot so far.

[andromedicasphyxiate]

Thanks for the tag bestieee!!! Here's my stuff:

Last song--she's on fire by Bo Saris (Maya Jane Coles remix)

Favorite colors--im really into champagne gold, rose gold, black and white ✨️ ♥️ 😍

Currently watching--omg i JUST finished rewatching big bang toooo im in love with Sheldon and Penny and all of them 😭😭😭 after that I rewatched vampire diaries (first watched it when I was 20 and didn't know how life worked and I felt so different about it and when I watch it now im like omg I was such a baby for reacting how I did back then!! Ofc i was and still am team damon rawr and i maintain that he would forget ALL about elena if he only met me and then elena and stefan could be together and me and damon and then we could all double date and bitch about katherine haha fkn amazing. But i would eventually dump damon for klaus because I like em evil and deranged but then i would come back to damon. Btw this whole thing is a joke, i say shit like this but im very reserved irl and...dont buy this from me k thx) And rn im just binging vids from all my older fav youtubers like Jenna Marbles and Ryan Higa and superwoman (Lilly singh) and Connor franta and stuff. DAMN I miss that era of YouTube SOOO MUUUCH 😭😭😭

Last movie: this bollywood movie called "ye jawaani Hai deewani" which is basically about this nerdy girl and these 3 other cool kids who were friends in school and she was sort of an outcast and then they meet again in college and everyone has their own journey but then they all go on a trip together and get to know each other and she falls in love with one of the cool guys but he wants to be a journalist and travel show host and stuff and he's moving to America (like me, hehe) and so she doesn't tell him. Then the trip ends and then they all meet again 8 years later and he realizes that he has missed too much life being away from home and also missed the girl who fell in love with him and that he loves her too so he stays back and marries her. Again I cant explain movies to save my life because its a lot more nuanced and poetic but HEY you bitchez get what you pay for and ur not paying me ANYTHING. SO. Sorry 4 ur loss, stay saltyyyyy.

Sweet, savory, spicy: I eat EVERYTHING. I do have a sweet tooth tho but its died down over the years and if the food is spicy, I think it pairs best with undertones of sweetness!! Like a hot and sweet manchow soup (that's from the indo-chinese cuisine heart eyes!!!)

Currently reading: the puffin book of stories for seven year olds 😭😭😭😭 im sorry I know its too late but definitely give it a whirl if you can because its these magical stories that make me feel childlike and transport me to this faraway land where my emotions feel intense? Like I tend to be a bit jaded and this book just takes me away from myself and I really need that from time to time 😭😭😭

Current obsession: 9th chords and improvising jazz on the piano. I just got done learning 7th chords (like just how they're named, haven't practiced them yet) and im gonna do 9th and 11th and 13th (naming) and then start practicing them on the piano. Oh and scale families too. Just a bunch of music theory stuff which I haven't touched since college ended but my dumb ass wants to learn again. But ofc im a fan of listless gray spaces toooo 😭😭😭😂😂😂

Currently working on: pls see the answer above!!! MUSIC THEORY. And also Journaling. And my grad school homework and things 🙃

'get to know you better' tag game

tagged by @emmrichrook. thank you! 😊

last song: Cocteau Twins - Eyes are Mosaics

favorite color: black, purple, golden yellow, teal

currently watching: my partner play Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 :o

last movie: oh, it's been so long now not sure i remember :s, but i think it was Sonic the Hedgehog 3

sweet, savory, or spicy: savoury

currently reading: The Wolf, Pet by bitterling on ao3

current obsession: Elgar'nan from Dragon Age x_x

currently working on: multiple Dragon Age drawings, most of them featuring Elgy :]

tagging @soongtypehuman @broodwoof @bonesandivy @katshi @tanyayoung-322 @fiannaai

[perpetuallyaiming]

The batch as middle schoolers! Ahhh remember the good ol’ days of middle school… yeah there were just as much bad times as there were good

Hunter was one of those trading card game collectors who would challenge other kids at lunch to war—ahem. A friendly battle

Pokémon cards, Magic the Gathering cards, Yugiyoh, he’s got em ALL

He has normal decks obviously, but also got troll decks, op banned decks, and even counterfeit homemade decks

Wrecker likes to collect said cards with him, but could never quite grasp all the rules, so he prefers to watch and attempt to trade for cool cards he likes

Tech founded the Rubik’s Cube Club, change my mind

On that note, he also either started, or is in leadership position on the Math Olympiad and Science Bowl clubs

He also brings homemade cold sandwiches because the school food isn’t ‘healthy enough’

Hunter and Wrecker are permanent PE buddies unless they didn’t end up in the same class. In that case, Wrecker partners with Crosshair

Sports Cross is godly at: Ultimate Frisbee, Shotput, Football/Soccer/Basketball (at least the aiming part)

Hunter is a natural all-rounder in PE, scoring top scores for all fitness tests (Yes, including the Fitness Gram Pacer Test. Especially the Fitness Gram Pacer Test.)

Wrecker holds the school record for the push-up test, timing out on the cadence and still going strong

Tech! Techy boi, he’s the reason the school has an advanced program, in fact, he might be the only one in said program

He’s also part of the First Tech Challenge. Actually, scratch that, he started the team for his school because he wanted to call his personal projects ‘School Activity’

He also always has the coolest science projects. Ever.

Crosshair, oh Crosshair, even though he doesn’t talk that much normally, he is part of the Drama club (that dramatic bitch)

Onstage he’s an entirely different person, I’d like to believe. Gotta play Hamilton? Prince Charming? Beast or Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast? Well, apparently he’s a very convincing actor

He also sneaks into the Literature Club to have his writings critiqued (insert Crosshair Chronicles by @a-lil-perspective)

Echo takes the cooking elective, and also shares Woodshop and a language class with Cross

You can often find Crosshair and Echo in the school library, both to get away from people and also to just read ✨

Cross prefers fiction and Echo likes historical works. But that doesn’t mean the entire batch haven’t read all of Geronimo Stilton, Captain Underpants, and Diary of a Wimpy Kid

I’d like to think Echo plays an instrument and Hunter is in the Choir?

Hunter tried asking his crush out to grad dance, but the school brought in console gaming trucks, so he and his brothers got distracted

I can probably come up with so much more but oh god now I can’t stop imagining them running around my middle school as thirteen year olds

[huckleberrysyrup]

i’ve been reallllly wanting a baby lately and i know i need to wait because i make no money and im still in school and we’re not married and there’s a lot i want/need to do before i have babies but DAMN i feel so ready for that part of my life even tho my life isnt ready for it yet

[ad1thi]

2020 fic recs!! [Part 2]

part 2 of my 2020 fic recs!! as before, ive limited this to five fics per month; and fics are ordered by the month they were published. This spans fandoms and ships, and hopefully you find something you like!! credit for the idea goes to @iam93percentstardust

***

July

this is the start: @capnwinghead

Clark and Bruce continue raising the Wayne children and encounter a number of challenges along the way.

great minds (love alike): @starklysteve

Steve’s eyes flicks down to Tony’s knees on the floor.

“Are you – are you proposing to me with my ring for you?” Steve asks incredulously, eyes wide and confused.

---

Or, Steve finds Tony’s ring for him, Tony finds Steve’s ring for him. Panic happens.

Marvels Unsolved: @iam93percentstardust

Marvels Unsolved was never supposed to be this popular. It started off as a novelty web-series about Tony trying to convince Bucky about the existence of the supernatural—he firmly believed that if science could turn Uncle Steve from an actual shrimp to the god of muscles, then magic had to be out there—and then they’d started talking about an unsolved crime from the early 20th century after filming an episode one day, forgetting that the camera was still rolling, and had ended up with enough footage to make a second episode about real crimes. They had stayed pretty unknown throughout that first season but then true crime podcasts had exploded in popularity and Unsolved along with them.

it’s a small world after all: @maguna-stxrk

“Great speech.”

Smiling at the compliment, Tony turns around. “Thank y—”

And nearly drops his champagne flute.

His world comes to a stop.

They had only spent a night together, but Tony would recognize those baby blues anywhere.

It’s Steve.

Steve from Tony’s London business trip. Or, as Rhodey has become accustomed to calling him—The Soulmate That Got Away.

you’re in my blood, you’re in my veins: @nethandrake

Tony always figured that if they ever were to break up, it would be like a blaze. Scorching and hot and all-too blinding. Intense like the two of them have always been.

Instead, they break up on a Tuesday, with the rain pelting the windowpane and the midnight silence stifling.

August

Five Times Danny said he’d marry Steve (plus one): @five-wow

Danny humphs. “Look, all I’m saying is, I think I’d probably have married you by now.”

“I’d marry you, too,” Steve says.

Or: An experiment in how many times you can say something before you have to put your money where your mouth is.

Family (You’ve Always Had It): @/SunnyQueen

A black Camaro and a scowling blond was not what Junior had been expecting.

“Hi, sir. You didn’t have to pick me up.”

The blond looked up from the screen on his phone and groaned, completely ignoring Junior's statement. “You are right, I didn't have to."

Ode To Yoga Pants: @riotfalling

OR the continued terrible mating dance of Bucky and Tony, AKA when betting on your friends stops being fun

Through The Years: @hawkbucks

Tony brings home Natasha one day, proclaiming her to be his new sister.

Natasha takes this all in stride.

The broken road that led me home to you: @just-fandomthings

A documented list of conversations between Steve and Danny via text and phone call following the events of 10x22 "Aloha." (Where, even thousands of miles apart, Steve and Danny can't go without talking to each other.)

September

someday, we’ll pass it on to you: @starklysteve

Steve smiles.

Reaching up, he flattens his hand against his son’s far smaller one, curling gently around it. “You wanna be like him?”

“Da!” Peter agrees again.

One year old, and you already know who’s the best of us, Steve pauses to reflect, all his fears chased away by a fierce pride. “Your Dad’s coming home real soon,” he promises, “you should tell him that.”

---------------

Or, five times Peter did the repulsor pose as a toddler

+ one time he used the repulsors as an adult

Classic Sci Fi: @notdoingsohot

Bucky wakes up to Steve telling him he's lost his memory, but not to panic, it'll only last a few days. Easier said than done when the last thing Bucky remembers is fighting Hydra with the Howlies in WWII.

He tries to make the most of it however, and there's this guy... Tony Stark. It's pretty clear the guy hates Bucky's guts, which is unfortunate because god damn is he a sight.

He tries to figure out what he did to wrong Stark, but everyone just tells him he doesn't want to know.

They were right.

Blooms in Frost: @/Diomedes

Tony coughs up his first petal on the sixth of July. He has been married to the love of his life for two years.

Bury a Hanahaki corpse in earth and it will beget the most beautiful garden. All that love, it is said, must go somewhere.

Hanahaki AU: Established relationship

------------------------------------------

A Single Thread of Gold: @lovelyirony

Rhodey doesn't believe in love at first sight or any of that cheesy shit. He just wants someone who is nice, dependable, and safe.

Tony Stark is Housing Service's little problem for the school year, and now he's stuck in Rhodey's room because he's exploded the last two dorm rooms he's been in and won't live off-campus.

high roller, place your bet: @machi-kun

“Would you kiss Stark for a hundred bucks?”

“I would pay a hundred bucks to kiss him.”

October

press my luck: @omg-just-peachy

But... Steve is almost ten years his junior, and he could be with just about anyone, looking and acting like he does. And then there’s the not so small fact of Tony’s name and net worth and the fact that, okay, Tony had paid for Steve’s grad school tuition, and now he’s worried Steve feels obligated to stay. Or something.

Or, Tony is a billionaire, Steve is a grad student, and they learn to let themselves be taken care of.

see it with the lights out: @starklysteve

Tony goes on a business trip, and he does not - not at all - get jealous of Dodger hogging his husband's chest, a territory otherwise known as Tony's pillow.

(or, Steve goes on an Instagram spree and Tony misses home)

adulthood is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane: @starkslovemail

It was a perfect plan, if Peter did say so himself.

The Buy In: @dracusfyre

For the ImagineTonyandBucky prompt: Mafia AU with Tony as the Boss (except he's a really good one, making the streets safe, keeping drugs away from kids etc) and Bucky as the detective sent to go undercover to catch him out but ends up realizing he's actually doing more good than harm and they end up falling in love

trinkets of your affection: @starklysteve

Kissed him once for every year I loved him, Steve had written.

By that count, Steve owes him five more kisses now.

Tony traces the words, hands trembling, and tips back a shot of Howard's ancient whiskey. None of it burns anymore.

One day, he'll have lived more days without Steve than there are words in the diary.

For the first time since he'd woken with shrapnel in his chest, Tony fears the future.

----------

Or, five things Tony keeps to remember Steve by, and one thing Steve gives him to remember.

November

“Hey Tony”: @riotfalling

Steve points out that Bucky never calls Tony by his actual name. Bucky doesn’t believe him, until he does.

Remembering You is Hard to Do: @lovelyirony

“The future’s crazy, honey-bear.”

Jim looks up.

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what?”

“Honey-bear. It’s weird.”

“Inside joke we have,” Tony says, chest tightening. “We thought those couples that have the lovey-dovey nicknames were ridiculous.”

overheard your heartbeat (calling me yours): @starklysteve

"Tony - "

"I wish I could promise to come home this time," he feels the armor crawl back down his arm, continuing unnoticed over Steve's red gloves, then up the blue uniform as Tony fights to keep Steve's gaze firmly fixed on him.

The last eyes Tony might get to see, and he wants to be lost in them.

In the end, his entire life boils down a few simple things: "JARVIS, take care of him for me."

----------

Or, Tony overhears a phonecall where Steve proposes, a battle happens, and a paper ring settles some misunderstandings.

i (really, really, really, really, really, really) like you.: @nethandrake

For as long as Steve can remember, he's been crushing on Tony Stark. The thing is, he's pretty sure Tony doesn't know Steve exists. And how could he? Steve's scrawny and little. He's a nobody compared to Tony who's Mr Popular and the son of a billionaire.

Or at least he thought so until Tony swings by the bakery Steve's mother happens to own to enlist Steve's help in finding the perfect Valentine's Day card.

The perfect Valentine's Day card for someone who isn't Steve.

One Song (My Heart Keeps Singing): @iam93percentstardust

When Thor is old enough to understand what a Heartsong is, he goes to his mother to ask her why he can’t understand the language his is in. He listens as she tells him about the first soulmates who couldn't understand their Heartsong until the day they meet, excited by the thought of a grand adventure, one that will take him across the cosmos in search of his One.

He’ll search all the Nine Realms if he has to.

December

Swiping Right: @s-horne

“Ouch. Definitely a hard pass for that one?”

Steve startled at the sudden comment from the row of chairs behind him and turned around. He’d been passing the time in the airport lounge by swiping through Tinder and had gotten lost in his own world. It was almost jarring to be pulled away from the screen of hot men and back into reality where the PA was screeching and there was noise everywhere.

Adjusting to the difference, Steve frowned. Wait, he knew that face. Oh, shit… he knew that face.

“No, no, it’s fine,” the man said before Steve could get out anything other than an embarrassed sort of yelp. Waving his hand through the air, the stranger smiled ruefully. “I get it. It’s the beard, isn’t it? True be told, it was a weird winter choice that year and I knew it would come back to hurt me.”

Steve didn’t know what to say. He knew it must have shown on his face and could feel himself flushing, panicked and embarrassed all at once. What were the odds of swiping left on someone literally sat behind him?

set your flight path home (to me): @starklysteve 

Tony puts down his welding torch. “I’m building you a plane.”

Stepping carefully over the gears and tools scattered about, Rhodey slowly makes his way to him.

“And when did you become an expert on how to build a plane?”

“Last night,” Tony grins.

---------------

Tony builds a plane, and Rhodey teaches Tony how to fly it. Or he would be teaching Tony, if Tony didn't distract him so much.

I Want A Man With A Slow Hand: @thefourofswords

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked on their way to a crime scene, because no time like the present, and Danny believed in ripping off band-aids.

“Why not?” Steve replied, eyes on the road. “You’re gonna even if I say no.”

“What do you like in bed?”

*

Danny undertakes a very important mission to get Steve laid. For his health. Ahem.

same time next year: @omg-just-peachy

“I forgot to ask. When’s your flight home?” Steve asks, draping his arm over Tony’s shoulder and settling in against him.

Tony ignores the knot that forms in his chest at the idea of it, leaving Steve again for his own impersonal apartment, his piles of books and projects and the nights without sleep.

“Day after tomorrow.”

Steve huffs a little sigh, then brings his lips to Tony’s neck. “Well, we’ll have to make the most of it, won’t we?”

Or, four (4) Christmases with two (2) idiots who can't admit they're in love.

rearrange my heart (to fit your smile): @starklysteve

"You dare," Howard's chair makes an ugly noise as it scrapes against the stone floors, the chatter of the room shifting into hushed whispers and stolen glances. "I am your father and your King!"

"My King is my husband," Tony tips his chin up, defiant. "And I refuse to hear you suggest that my husband has been anything other than good to me."

Next to him, he feels Steve's shoulders stiffen in surprise.

Howard's fist slams loud on the table. "Your husband does not even love you!"

Tony jerks back, burned. He knows that. Knows that Steve did not marry him for love – does not need any reminder of the cold truth, of what he desperately yearns for and can't even hope to have – but the harshness of Howard's words was scalding, and Tony can't afford for this to go any further.

----------

Or, King Steven marries Prince Tony, Tony is pretty sure he shouldn't panic when he falls in love with his own husband, and Steve tries his very best not to cause diplomatic crises.

Keyword: try