#disability love

[alex2xander]

Shout out to all the tumblr users dealing with daily fatigue and severe depression.

Respect to those who have medium and high support needs who need assistance with bodily functions.

Love to those who cannot safely leave their bedrooms or home due to the pandemic and lack of societal support.

Care to those who spend the majority of their life online because this is the only way they can socialize with the outside world

There are so many of us trying to make it day to day. I love you and you're not alone in this.

I love you people who have to be carried, lifted, or escorted in mobility aids to do daily living tasks

I love you people who depend entirely on your cariers and personal aids for every function

I love you people who haven't been able to shower in over a week and therefore have tangled or matted hair and body odour

I love you people who have been wearing the same clothes for over a week

I love you people who dont have the energy to get out of bed to use the bathroom and need to use diapers or a bed pan

I love you people who havent been able to cook their own meal in months

I love you people who have piles of dirty clothes and trash scattered around their room

I love you people who uncontrollably drool on yourself and your property

I love you people who have slowly lost mobility and function over time and are adjusting to their new life

[miseria-fortes-viros]

best trope is the one where the character’s godlike power is also killing them btw. they don’t even lift a hand to kill the monster but now they’re delirious with fever. they save a friend’s life and said friend immediately finds them emergency medical care. they raze the enemy to nothing and it takes far too long to find their pulse with all the bruising. their friends just constantly having to patch them up and worrying over which feat will be their last. et cetera

[salt-baby]

yes, doctors suck, but also "the medical ethics and patient interaction training doctors receive reinforces ableism" and "the hyper competitive medical school application process roots out the poor, the disabled, and those who would diversify the field" and "anti-establishment sentiment gets applications rejected and promotions requests denied, weeding out the doctors on our side" and "the gruesome nature of the job and the complete lack of mental health support for medical practitioners breeds apathy towards patients" and "insurance companies often define treatment solely on a cost-analysis basis" and "doctors take on such overwhelming student loan debt they have no choice but to pursue high paying jobs at the expense of their morals" are all also true

none of this absolves doctors of the truly horrendous things they say and do to patients, but it's important to acknowledge that rather than every doctor being coincidentally a bad person, there is something specific about this field and career path that gives rise to such high prevalence of ableist attitudes

and I WILL elaborate happily

[addamatic]

If you have a stockpile you are an addict

Btw you have to refill on the same day you run out of medication

Btw you will have seizures and possibly die if you miss your medication

Btw the pharmacy will not order your medication in advance of the one day you are allowed to call and refill it

But you are an addict who should be criminalized if you have a few days stockpiled so you don’t have a seizure and die.

This is a normal way to treat disabled people who need medication that keeps them from dying.

[clementimetodie]

recently saw someone's "advice for your 30s" which included something like "never get on the floor without having an escape plan for getting back up" and um. if you are otherwise able bodied and having trouble getting up from the floor in your 30s. you are very unhealthy. yes, even, if not especially, for that age.

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[neuroticboyfriend]

it's never too late to start brushing your teeth again. i basically never brushed my teeth for a whole 10 years. a decade. A DECADE. i still struggle to brush my teeth once a week, but it all started with brushing my teeth once every few months. so i mean it when i say brushing your teeth once a week, a month, a year, or even a decade, is better than nothing.

and still, nothing is not shameful. it is not immoral to struggle with self care. and it is also not pointless to keep trying. anything you can do, even if its wiping plaque off with a towel, is enough. it is good to take care of yourself however you can, even if it's just trying to muster the will to. reading this post is good, too.

i believe in you and i am proud of you, even in the smallest of steps. it's okay. you can give yourself grace.

[bisexualseraphim]

You know what, fuck it. Let’s show some love for the “unpleasant” autistics.

For the autistics who are always accused of being angry or moody when all they’re doing is sitting there.

For the autistics who take everything literally and respond sincerely.

For the autistics who come across as “blunt” or “rude” for being honest.

For the autistics who are called “control freaks” for needing a sense of order and routine.

For the autistics who get told to shut up for infodumping about uncomfortable topics.

For the autistics who find it too exhausting to mask and pretend to be sunny and friendly.

“Unpleasant” autistics, I love you.

[threadbareturnbacks]

You know what? Happy Disability Month to those who were disabled by accident. Cars, skis, ice, sand, rocks, horses, just plain bad luck. Broken bones and backs that never heal. Shoulders that can't lift or move right. Wrists that don't turn. Hands that can't grasp. Brains that don't work right anymore. Legs that don't move anymore and eyes that won't recover.

The shame, the blame, the frustration, the wishful thinking that tears you apart. The beauty of small victories and simple kindness. The community you build. Reshaping a life with no warning. Mourning for the person you once were. Joyfully embracing the person you now are. Happy Disability Month to you too (even if you aren't ready to use that word yet)

[slfcare]

after it has been new, scary and uncomfortable, it’s going to be okay. isn’t that what we’re doing it for?

[shesnake]

24 hour time loops: not long enough to create or undo anything permanent, crazy-making but often still funny

365 day time loops: the most fucked up shit you could possibly imagine

[identitty-dickruption]

sorry, any disability movement that tries to have me say that I DON’T have deficits or that I’m NOT defective will always end badly. endlessly trying to reframe disabled traits as superpowers will only ever exclude the most vulnerable. it will only ever shove aside other disabled people in an attempt to normalise the limited symptoms that CAN be reframed as “benefits”. and that’s not a movement I can prescribe to

[spoonful116]

The most punk thing you can do as a disabled person is love and value yourself and not push yourself past your limits for the sake of other's approval

[eluminium]

Obsessed with whatever the fuck this interaction was from yesterday's stream:

Scar: *makes a wheelchair joke* Skizz, while giggling: We can't join you on those jokes Scar! Scar: You could Skizz. Come to the dark side with me. Skizz: Okay, I'll do that but you have to make MS jokes to me! Scar: I don't know any MS jokes! ...You MS! Augh, I can't think of anything! Skizz, giggling again: "You MS!"? That's just terrible! Scar: I don't know, that just seems so worse! What am I gonna- YOU and your MYELIN! No! That makes no sense! Skizz: Yeah yeah! You and your...STUPID nerves and WEAK myelin! You and your DEFENSE SYSTEM attacking you NEUROLOGICALLY Scar: What? You on your 20 000 dollar drug a month over there? *Both giggle* Scar: I can't think of anything! That feels so wrong! Skizz: Use your hands while you can, Skizz! Scar: OHHH NOOOOO THIS GOT SO DARK! Skizz: You should be drumming now man! Your beats are numbered! Scar: NO! :(( I feel bad Grian! Grian:

[vizthedatum]

An apparently unpopular opinion: disabled people can have and do their hobbies. They deserve to have fun. They deserve to live their lives.

Their inability to do some things (like work, for example) does not mean they should be judged for… idk hanging out with their friends or to going outside. After all, having interests outside of work is often essential to our mental and physical health OUTSIDE of our disability.

And also *you might want to sit down for this* disabled people know what’s disabling for them (unless they people-please or push through due to necessity or survival of some sort). Disabilities don’t have to be visible or persistent to be disabling.

So yeah - my declaration: if an activity you want to do feels good and you’re able to do it, then do it. REGARDLESS OF YOUR DISABILITY WITH OTHER THINGS.

[personishfive]

in which dialogue is exchanged