#disabled talks

[blurred-antics]

fellow autistics who have a hard time w liquids but need electrolytes, what brand do y'all use (either mix-in's or premade drinks)? like yeah I can push myself if I absolutely have to but I'd rather not feel on the verge of gagging every time. I know there are flavorless mix-in's but are they *actually* truly flavorless?

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[sharkface]

PLAY RAIN WORLD

PLAY RAIN WORLD

[androdragynous]

as my own direct immediate list of game grievances i hate that stardew valley expects you to side against a wheelchair user who is upset that he was moved without his consent. i hate that the mass effect trilogy gives you visible scarring as a direct result of choosing mean dialogue and heals it if you're nice. i hate that the vampire the masquerade ttrpg has a monstrous player class that can appear as horrible vampiric monsters or as visibly disabled people and both of these appearances are mechanically the same. i hate that dark souls games have a difficulty level implemented in a way that cannot be adjusted for disability. i hate that i can play as a mermaid or a werewolf or a horse in the sims games but can't use a wheelchair. i hate that the ace attorney games have so much flashing and not all of the games can disable it. i hate that disability is constantly something that happens to teach a lesson, i hate that disability is something that happens as a punishment, i hate that disability is either compensated perfectly with no drawbacks or something that is endlessly sought to be cured. i hate that no character customization will ever include the mobility aids i use, that the player avatars that represent me will never look like me. i am so goddamn annoyed and so goddamn tired.

[atinystraykid]

“If you have time to be on social media, you also have time for…” “If you have time to watch Netflix, you also have time for…” Yeah, but do I have the energy for it? Do I have the emotional and mental capacity for it? Am I pain-free enough for it? Can I focus on it? Can I do it without leaving my bed? Can I safely do it without risk of (physically or emotionally) injuring myself by pushing past my boundaries?

[salt-baby]

yes, doctors suck, but also "the medical ethics and patient interaction training doctors receive reinforces ableism" and "the hyper competitive medical school application process roots out the poor, the disabled, and those who would diversify the field" and "anti-establishment sentiment gets applications rejected and promotions requests denied, weeding out the doctors on our side" and "the gruesome nature of the job and the complete lack of mental health support for medical practitioners breeds apathy towards patients" and "insurance companies often define treatment solely on a cost-analysis basis" and "doctors take on such overwhelming student loan debt they have no choice but to pursue high paying jobs at the expense of their morals" are all also true

none of this absolves doctors of the truly horrendous things they say and do to patients, but it's important to acknowledge that rather than every doctor being coincidentally a bad person, there is something specific about this field and career path that gives rise to such high prevalence of ableist attitudes

and I WILL elaborate happily

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw

[the-trans-advice-blog]

I’m not sure who needs to hear this but it’s normal and okay to be DISABLED by your DISABILITY.

Sometimes it is going to stop you from doing things, and that’s okay. Sometimes it’s going to get in your way or make you struggle or cause problems in your life. But that’s okay, that’s why it’s called a disability.

You don’t need to fight yourself or “not let it hold you back” because a lot of times it will, but that’s the point.

[swordsonnet]

i'm sorry but i don't think we should call this the "autism website" when there's still posts with tons of notes mocking people who:

struggle with social skills / have anxiety around social settings

are unemployed / unable to work certain jobs

have intense or "age-inappropriate" interests

haven't had certain life experiences that are deemed universal/essential

struggle with personal hygiene

don't have any friends or dating experience

don't go outside much or at all

take things literally / don't get sarcasm/jokes

have unusual ways of speaking

generally aren't "normal"

[sheepinwolfcountry]

you’re not a disability advocate if you make fun of people with incontinence or people that drool or peoples motor functions or people with brain damage or people with low intelligence 👍

[crippl-hacker]

You know what? It’s fucking hard trying to get better. It’s exhausting managing doctors appointments, doing daily PT exercises, eating better, trying to exercise, trying to meditate, and doing ADL’s. I have had a bad crash per week trying to juggle and do all of the above.

It’s easier and less acutely painful to just coast and not actively work on ‘getting better’. Is the work worth it? I don’t know yet.

But to people who’ve tried and given up, to those who don’t even bother - you still deserve care and compassion.

[blurred-antics]

found some v customizable finger splints I was wanting (to keep my fingers from overextending). so I measured the upper + lower sections of my fingers to see what sizes I'd need + how much they'd cost so we can save up accordingly.

deadass they don't make the splints small enough for my pinkies. the smallest they make them is a size 2 and my upper pinkies measure at a size 1.5. all the other brands I've found don't go smaller than a 3 so back to the drawing board I guess.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[roboticbuild]

Btw shout-out to disabled people who feel sexual attraction but can't have sex or masturbate. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because it hurts. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because they're dependant on a caregiver. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because they're deemed "too mentally immature". Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because they would be bedridden for days if not weeks on end. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex because they can't get into the right positions. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex because once their partner finds out they're disabled they refuse. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex because they can't go out to meet people.

Disabled people are not your uwu sexless perfect babies or broken people incapable of sexual pleasure. We deserve to be talked about in all aspects of life and the fact we aren't taught sex ed besides from an able bodied and able mental standpoint is genuinely god awful. No one talks Abt this and we deserve to be seen

[21stc3nturyd1gitalb0y]

a lot of you got a kick out of my service dog’s battle jacket, so i thought i’d share some more pictures of the man himself.

i know people have a lot of stereotypes about what service dogs and their handlers are “supposed” to look like, and it confuses people to see a young, seemingly able bodied punk rocker with a service dog.

but i share this to say, that if you as a disabled person don’t see a life for yourself, you can create one. when i started to realize i was disabled almost 10 years ago, i certainly didn’t imagine this is where i’d be now. in fact, i didn’t even plan to making it to this point.

but a diagnosis doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. sometimes your world is just beginning. some people are of the belief that everything happens for a reason. me, not so much. i’ll never be grateful for the suffering i experienced in this world, but i will always, always be glad i chose to stay in it.

[costis]

All those posts that are like "your life doesn't really start til your 30s-40s-50s" are wonderful and important but they make me sad so. Positivity post for anyone who's not going to get there.

People who have been told they won't make it til their 20s, 30s, 40s, whenever. Another month, another year, another five years, another ten or twenty. People who have known since they were little, people who just found out. People who are getting worse faster or slower. People who are in treatments that might help, but cause so much other damage. People who treatment didn't work for people who can't afford treatment. People who are medically fragile and people who are housebound and people who are bedbound. People who are losing their independence and people who have never had it. People who never know which infection, which flare-up, which episode is going to be the last one. People who are in hospice, people who have planned their funerals and written their wills and got their DNR in order. People who have tried everything they can and people who are making themselves worse and people who are being neglected by doctors and caregivers. People with genetic diseases that have taken family members already. Cheers 🧃🧃