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izzystizzys · 2 months

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“…I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I still don’t quite understand”, Fox says, for what must be the dozenth time that hour. His heartbeat pounds behind his eyes in an incessant drum of hurt, and his head aches with every breath like someone’s taken a rusty fork to the inside of his skull and raked his brain out. Fox’ eyes are beginning to burn the way they start doing around hour 80 of a shift, and he has to suppress the brief urge to check over his shoulder. Not even Stabby could come up with a ploy this contrived to make him sleep. Probably.

In front of him, General Grievous coughs awkwardly, long spindly durasteel limbs shivering with its force. “Certainly”, he vocalizes, in that deep, watery cadence. “For your glorious triumphs in battle, your awe-inspiring victory over me in close combat, and your undeniable warrior spirit, I accept you as my consort. I have proven my skills through the ritual capture, and thus, by Kaleesh custom, we are now wed, Commander Fox. I will honor you as my war-bride, and visit vengeance upon your enemies. I swear it to you.”

Expectantly, Grievous tilts his faceplate to the side, and Fox only just catches the suppression of the manic giggle that wants to escape him. Yeah, probably not Stabby - maybe a dying fever dream? Has the infected gash from that skirmish on the lower levels five rotations ago finally decided to end him? If so, it’s not fast enough for Fox’ tastes.

Here’s how it happened: Fox has no kriffing clue. All he knows is one moment an emergency alert tore him from precious Scream Closet time this morning, he went to rescue the Chancellor’s dumb ass again, and whoop, here he is on General Grievous’ ship with the war-criminal himself declaring them happily married. And eyeing him up and down like a piece of candy.

Why, Fox thinks, desperately, does this always have to happen to me?!

Chancellor’s still kidnapped, by the way. Fox has other priorities for the time being.

“I swear to aim my weapons in your service”, Grievous continues, when it becomes exceedingly clear Fox is not going to break out of his shocked stupor anytime soon. “I swear to aim true and strike with murderous intent, I swear to uphold the sacred bonds of our clans in the name of our union, I swear to raise a strong, bloodthirsty brood of warriors with-“

“Wait”, Fox interrupts, once his brain has caught up past the astromech dial-up sound it seems to be playing on repeat. “Uphold clan bonds? You murder your way through my brothers like a rabid nexu on spice on the regular!”

Grievous’ faceplate, which should be for all intents and purposes totally expressionless, does something that reminds Fox strangely of contrition. It has him gaping and shivering in discomfort, in any case. “A fact I regret, but acknowledge lies in my past before the fateful crossing of our paths. I am a warrior at soul, you must understand, my worthy mate.” Durasteel faceplates don’t turn soft. They don’t. And coughs don’t sound loving. They simply do not. “But I uphold the bonds of these sacred vows under Kaleesh law, that I swear to you, my beloved.”

“All I did was grapple you to the ground”, Fox says, mourningly. “Cody has kicked you in the head dozens of times and you’ve never tried to marry him.”

“He is not you, and his battle lacks the lustful vitality and love of violence of yours”, Grievous declares, and Fox really cannot tell whether the sound that erupts from him is a lovelorn sigh or a hacking death-gurgle. This cannot be his life.

Just then, a droid conveniently enters, putting a pause to all Fox’ sufferings. He’ll need to tell Thorn to research Kaleesh divorce proceedings. Or, better yet - he needs to blow up this whole karking ship including himself and destroy all evidence of this ever happening.

“Generals Kenobi and Skywalker awaiting in custody, Sir”, says the droid, nervously. “They are here to rescue Chancellor Palpatine, but we cut them off just out of the hangar bay.”

Internally, Fox rolls his eyes so hard it hurts his brain. “The Jedi can wait”, Grievous hacks out, and for once Fox agrees with him. Let the two dick around onboard, there’s bigger issues at hand.

“But Sir”, says the droid, all twitchy with an anxiety Fox eternally wonders who the kriff programmed into the damn things, “what if they try to escape and -“

A deep, growling noise erupts from deep within Grievous’ massive metal chest, amplifying Fox’ pounding headache by a thousandfold. “I have no time for this”, he snarls at the cowering droid. “Remove yourself from my and mine beloved’s sight.”

“Roger Roger”, the B2 squeaks, hesitantly, before adding on - “The Chancellor-“

Harrumphing petulantly, Grievous stomps one massive, clawed foot and makes what feels like the whole viewdeck shake. “I will twist his head off his body like a rotten fruit”, he declares. “That will get those pesky Jedi off my ship faster, and then we can continue saying our vows.” He pauses, thoughtfully, and then hooded eyes ringed by what must surely be rotten flesh fix on Fox inexorably. “It will be my wedding gift to you, beloved, an offering of peace to your brothers.”

Fox opens his mouth to protest, but quickly snaps it shut again when his husband already turns tail and storms off.

Huh. Maybe this marriage thing isn’t all bad.

#commander fox #general grievous #crackship and rarepair #sw tcw fic idea #i have been extremely stressed and it shows in the declining quality of brain rot #anyways that’s how grievous saves the galaxy and fox gets seven full hours of sleep #he comes back from his honeymoon to absolute mayhem #ori’vode nearly restart the war purely on behalf of fox’ virtue and their disapproval of his romantic choices #well ‘choices’#romantic accidents?#fox shrugs and goes eh might as well be a warlord’s trophy wife it’s not worse than the last gig #HOW screams wolffe still being held back by ponds and rex from committing violent murder LITERALLY HOW #count dooku is so confused by this turn of events that the rug is pulled from underneath him before he’s finished reckoning with ‘married #grievous’#please someone take away my posting rights the situation is dire #whats next dooku/fox fake dating

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padfootastic · 2 years

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hello! this is from a discord prompt by the wonderful @roalinda. it’s established (but hidden) jilypad where molly makes unnecessary comments; protective james & lily, and a sirius who gets loved & doted upon & kissed silly in front of everyone by his partners 🥰

“Times are grave, we must stand together and—“

James slowly slides his glasses off his face, massaging the bridge of his nose with thumb and forefinger in a vain effort to relieve the ache building behind his eyes. This is the fourth Order meeting of this month—it’s only the 16th—and it is shaping up to seem as pointless as the other ones.

When they’d joined the Order straight out of Hogwarts, it was with stars in their eyes and fire blazing in their veins. They were ready to fight for their lives and die for the cause. Now? James can’t wait to get out of here as soon as possible. If he wasn’t a part of this circus, he might actually have considered it a bit impressive, the way Dumbledore has managed to create an atmosphere so far removed from the terrible war being waged outside that they’ve ended up on the other end of the spectrum but alas—as it stands, James has to sit through the most boring, incompetent meetings known to wixenkind and his patience is running particularly low.

A hand coming to rest on his knee, hidden under the table, brings him out of his morose thoughts. He smiles instinctively, recognising the touch that he knows better than his own.

“I’m okay, Si,” he says, turning to his left where Sirius is looking at him, concerned. To anyone else, he’ll look exactly as he always does—blank face, hard eyes, lips in a straight line. James, however, can see the worry lining his face as if it were blaring on a muggle billboard.

“You’re sure?”

“Mhm. It’s just…y’know.” He tilts his head towards the gathered crowd, Dumbledore sermonising at the head of the table. The worry immediately turns into exasperation as Sirius’ eyes roll up slightly, making his own displeasure perfectly clear.

“—and of course, the Potters have volunteered to travel around the Continent to talk to the Giants. I’m sure I don’t have to explain why it’s absolutely crucial to the war effort that they be our allies or, at the very least, agree to neutrality.”

“Er, Professor?” Lily raises her hand like she’s still in school and James just knows he’s doing the heart-eyes thing everyone teases him for but he can’t help it. A raised hand. Merlin, this woman. “Sirius will be coming with us too, of course.”

James can—and will—kiss her soundly for phrasing it like a statement, not a question. He knows for a fact they’d mentioned this before, when Dumbledore had first called them to talk about it. Mighty convenient of him to leave it out in his official announcement now.

Sure enough, a very subtle wrinkling of the old man’s brow sufficiently expressed his opinion of the idea. “Lily, my dear, are you sure that’s—“

“Yes, of course, Professor,” she says sweetly, “We’ve made all the arrangements, you don’t have to worry about a thing.”

“What use would Black be, anyway, other than partying his way through Eastern Europe?” someone mutters in an undertone that’s very clearly heard across the room. Sirius’ hand tightening on his knee is the only thing stopping James from physically growling out loud.

“I realise you’re a bit…slow on the uptake, Mr. Diggle, but I assure you, Sirius is probably the best negotiator this side of the ocean,” Lily shoots back before adding suggestively, “And that’s not to even mention all the other skills he has.”

Sirius, who stays quiet in times like these (unfortunately too frequent nowadays, with suspicion and paranoia on the rise), is giving his own impeccable pair of heart eyes to their girlfriend.

“Now, now, we are all adults here,” Dumbledore says sternly, only entering after the conflict ends per usual. “There’s no need to devolve into name-calling or taunts”—with a pointed look at Lily—“and Daedalus, I understand your concern, but we cannot stop them from taking Sirius with them.”

The condescension in his voice, the implication that Sirius is nothing but a house pet lugged around by his friends—as if he’s not the best of them all—makes James’ teeth grit. It is only by sheer willpower that he manages a, “That’s very kind of you, Professor. Thank you.”

Later, when the meeting is over and they’re all scattered around the living room—the three of them are in one corner with James ranting to a similarly peeved Lily and a secretly-pleased Siriuswho pretends he doesn’t care. But James knows, has seen first hand how deep the words cut into him. He doesn’t ever want to see him bleed again.

“And the sheer audacity of him to say—Si, if you hadn’t stopped me, I swear.”

“That’s exactly why I did it, Prongs.” Sirius shrugs.

“Personally, I think every one of these idiots deserve whatever James wants to do to them,” Lily adds with a vindictive scowl of her own. It’s not just him that’s fed up with the way people in the Order keep treating their Sirius.

“You really want to let a wild James Potter loose on them, Lilypad?” Sirius asks, one eyebrow arched high in surprise. “You hate them that much?”

“Oi!”

“Yes.”

James and Lily speak at the same time, words overlapping and intentions clashing, causing Sirius to break out in his signature bark-like laughter. James can’t even hold on to his indignation in the face of it, helpless to do anything except lean forward, enthralled by the way his grey eyes soften with joy.

It’s then that a thoroughly unpleasant voice breaks into their moment.

“James, Lily, oh there you are, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Molly Weasley calls out to them, weaving her way through the crowd. She has her signature smile on, though it falls a bit flat when her eyes land on Sirius.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course, Molly, is everything okay?” James asks. He can’t see any of the Weasley kids around her but it’s not uncommon for her to hand them off to someone or the other. James gets it, truly. Merlin knows he would’ve gone already round the bend if he had to deal with a brood like that.

“Yes, yes, nothing of that sort, just…a word?” Her head moves in a weird way and it takes him a few seconds to decipher the action. She’s signalling towards the other end of the room, though it doesn’t offer him any more clarity than that.

“I’m sure we can talk right here, Molly.” Lily, of course, is much quicker on picking up the subtext. “It’s just Sirius, no one else can hear us.”

“Yes, well, that’s the problem, isn’t it,” Molly mutters under her breath and before James can even begin to figure out where that came from, she’s speaking again. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Molly, please,” Sirius sighs, like he knows what’s coming. “Let’s not do this, not here.”

“I’m only here to talk. To James and Lily,” Molly replies stiffly, not even looking in his direction. Instead she turns to James, a painfully insincere look of concern on her face. It immediately puts him on the defensive.

“James, dear, don’t you think it’s a bit…inappropriate, the way you keep going?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His voice is hard, unyielding. “The way we keep going?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, I’m only trying to help,” she waves an airy hand, unbothered by the daggers shooting out of his eyes. “I know you and…Sirius are good friends, but all this—really, you have such a lovely girlfriend, have you ever thought of how she must feel when you keep dragging him around with you?”

James’ eyes bug right out of their sockets at the sheer audacity of her words. Did she just—

It doesn’t seem to faze her, his reaction, because she’s clearly on a mission. James wonders, a little hysterically, if they had a vote for this—this intervention and she’s the candidate who won. “A man and a woman need some time of their own, I’m sure you’ll realise the importance of it once you’re older but it’ll have been too late by then.”

“Molly,” he starts, in an impressively even voice, he thinks, “I’m afraid that our relationship is none of your business. I assure you we’re doing perfectly well.”

“Oh, you don’t have to be like that, James,” she tsks, “We’re all looking out for each other here—“

“Excuse me,” Lily cuts in, her temper ice cold and chilling against James’ burning rage. “Sirius is our—“

“Lily, it’s not your duty to keep putting up with every little fancy your boyfriend has. A girl must put her foot down sometimes.” Molly’s countenance has turned sympathetic now, and it does nothing to calm James down. He can see her doubling down, knows logic and reason will go well over her head.

There’s only one thing to do then, nothing for it. He turns towards Sirius, who’s been sitting in his armchair with his back ramrod straight and eyes straight forward. His heart aches at seeing Sirius withdraw into himself—James has tried hard, so hard, but words spoken in bitterness and cruelty always have that effect on him, taking him back to a time he’s spent this whole life running away from. It’s absolutely unacceptable that it happen to him now, when he’s surrounded by people supposed to be on their side, in a place that should’ve been safe.

Lily is speaking, something about privacy and boundaries and knowing when to shut the hell up (he’ll have to get the whole speech from her later, it sounds beautiful), and he simply steps over to Sirius, bending down until he’s right in front of him, a hairsbreadth away, like he was trying to do before they were rudely interrupted.

“James?” Sirius breathes, uncertain. He knows it’s because this isn’t planned—they’d decided to keep their relationship…not hidden, but away from other people. It’s unconventional, and they didn’t want to add more complications on top of everything else. Fighting the world on one axis is exhausting enough.

“I’ve got you, my love,” he whispers before closing the distance between them. The first press of their lips and everything—Molly, the rest of the Order, even Lily’s surprised gasp—falls away until his world narrows into a single point - Sirius - as it always does. His hands are cradling Sirius’ face, fingers softly stroking the sensitive skin below his ears—a move that he knows drives him crazy.

Sirius, for his part, gets over his own shock remarkably quickly to give as good as he gets. His hands are bunched in fists in the front of James’ jumper, almost desperately, and the longer they kiss, the rougher it gets.

A delicate cough—Lily—makes them slowly pull apart, but not before James leans back in for another quick peck. Sirius’ lips are slick, a bit swollen, and it’s the most tempting thing James has ever seen. He wants to damn this place and Apparate him straight into their bedroom but he just barely stops himself.

For one, Lily must’ve had a reason for interrupting; she usually enjoys watching them too much to do that. Besides, if he leaves without her, she’ll be pissed and he has no interest in being on the other end of her creative punishments. Not after the last time.

“James—you—that’s—,” seems like Molly can do nothing but splutter at his, perhaps excessive, display. Well, he maintains it was necessary. “Lily!” Molly turns to her, perhaps expecting similar shock, or anger, or hurt?

She’ll be sorely disappointed, of course, because Lily has the most predatory look out of the three of them. In her smartest decision of the evening, she decides to completely ignore Molly and makes her way over to them. A hand on James’ chest gently pushes him back, just enough that she can comfortably climb onto a now-thoroughly-shellshocked Sirius’ lap.

“What, did you think I wouldn’t want my chance?” she winks before wrapping her arms around Sirius’ neck and kissing him with no less passion than James just a minute ago.

This time, he has the distinct pleasure of being able to watch not just his partners but everyone’s reactions as well. Molly seems to have just…stopped working. He doesn’t know if it’s from the shock of both of them, in an established relationship, kissing someone; or that it’s happening in such a public setting; or, and this one comes from a darker corner of his mind, that it’s Sirius being kissed silly.

Dumbledore looks like his beloved lemon drop has gotten stuck in his throat and those in his immediate surroundings aren’t any better. Professor McGongall has a resigned, but entirely unsurprised, expression and James tips his head in an imaginary salute towards her.

Everyone else is somewhere on the spectrum between shocked and aghast. It’s wonderful. Exactly the kind of chaos James has been itching to stir up in these meetings.

By the time he completes his leisurely perusal and comes back to the scene in front of him, Lily has still not let go of Sirius. Her mouth is attacking his neck now, bright red lip stains and darkening bruises already visible, and Sirius’ hand is inching dangerously close to her neckline. Her previously-completely-buttoned-up-neckline that is now somehow half open. Funny, that.

“Oi,” James calls out, placing a warning hand on Lily’s leg, not because he’s worried they’re becoming too exhibitionist, but because he’s hard enough to pound nails right now and he would really like to get out of here and join the fun himself, please and thank you.

With a lazy, sultry smile, Lily pulls back. Her lipstick is smudged to high heaven and she looks entirely debauched and for James, she’s never been more beautiful than when she’s ravishing their boyfriend after vehemently defending him. Sirius’ eyes are unfocused, and he’s perhaps even more debauched. James can look at him like this forever.

“Like I was saying,” Lily says, all prim like she’s not sitting on one of her boyfriend’s lap while the other is possessively gripping her inner thigh, like she didn’t just participate in possibly the hottest moment of every sad sod in this room’s life. “Sirius is our partner and we very well know how to look out for each other.”

James seals the words with a kiss of his own, savouring the taste of both his partners on her lips.

#james potter #sirius black #lily evans #jilypad #dude i’m so obsessed w possessive james #and publicly staking claim on ur partner #it’s so !!!#also this is anti molly lol #i just. really don’t like her #this one also very neatly tied into my long term HC that molly didn’t like the marauders #and disapproved of their lifestyle and attitudes #but yeah #i had so much fun w this!!!#lily *devouring* sirius while j stares in lust and everyone else is horrified/shocked/scandalised is *chefs kiss*#j/l/s’ disdain towards the order is my wish fulfilment coming in #their absolutely incompetent ass however is totally canon #ik sirius is very passive in this but that’s just bc i wanted him to be taken care of ykno?#he makes his presence known dw #i also really leaned into he whole ‘suspected bc of his family during the first war’ thing that we’ve been talking about here #and it’s not bad. not bad at all #anyway! tell me what u think #should i upload it on ao3. should i post it on glimpses of us or a new work #should i leave it be #gimme thoughts and ideas friends #pen’s writing

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