#diy gone wrong

[shewantsitall]

I was trying to be more sustainable and also save a bit of money by dyeing a dress I wore once in a wedding last year and then having it altered by a friend's mom to wear for graduation... I burned it in the dyeing process... graduation is Saturday...I have to find a dress between now and Saturday. Help.

[mbrainspaz]

I'm not usually a cover up bad smells girlie--I like to find the source of the bad smell and clean it--but I can't exactly fix the fucked up landlord special plumbing in my rental shed so for now it's candles and hoping nothing explodes.

[tastethepainbowbitch]

Bad news: I accidentally stabbed myself like an idiot and my right hand is probably going to be completely fucking useless for the next 4-6 weeks

Good news: Once it heals, I will have acquired 2 sick ass scars in 2023

Bad news²: Both of the scars are the result of me being a fuckin dumbass

Good news²: At least the hand-stabbing scar will be because I'm a dumbass who injured myself making a Christmas gift for my mom because I love her

[tea-with-eleni]

Shoutout to our madlad neighbor Ben across the street who is probably responsible for the murder hornet my mother stepped on in our kitchen. At least, we think it was a murder hornet. It was too big and the sting was too painful for it to be much else.

we don't know he's responsible but he also brought in an obscene amount of sod over the last week so it's probably his fault somehow.

Other things Ben has done:

Installed new electrical wiring in his own attic. He is not an electrician.

Burned down his house via the faulty electrical wiring on Christmas Day 2018.

Designed a new house to go on top of the foundation despite the fact that he is neither an artist nor an architect. Our next door neighbor, an architect, told us this with mild horror. The man around the corner, our incredibly classy dentist, was likewise Aesthetically Offended.

Hired like two people to build the Arthur Dent eyesore of a house over the course of 2019.

Cut down a tree in his sideyard he didn't like by climbing said tree with a chainsaw and sawing off branches one at a time. Including the branch he was sitting on. My parents were getting their Best Lesbian Friend to help with some tree branches that fell in their yard at the time because she had a collection of chainsaws and is always down for a good time. She got distracted watching Ben because, "He's going to die."

Built his child one of those wooden backyard playset things.

Rented a cherry picker to deal with the rest of the branches on the tree in his sideyard. My parents had, at that point, hired some very nice people to help paint their house. They sat on our front porch and watched Ben run over the playset with the cherry picker. Also his fence. To quote one of them, "My brother could do that pretty cheap, but I'm not going to tell him. This is more fun."

Tore the bumper off his car trying to remove the stump left from his sideyard tree

Destroyed the fence, again, after renting some kind of heavy machinery to level part of his backyard.

Bought a plastic skeleton for his front yard in 2020. Moved and posed it every day in October. My parents noticed that he left the door for one of the trucks he'd rented unlocked and took the golden opportunity to prop the skeleton up in the driver's seat.

Bought some kind of very sweet and very cute large fluffy dog. Had to get surgery for the dog after it ate two pairs of socks and a towel. The dog has now recovered but is baffled by the way his lovely backyard fence keeps getting crushed by construction equipment.

To continue the skeleton army, he also bought one of those 12' skeletons last year. It was also posed daily along with the other, human-sized skeleton.

We're not really sure how Ben is still alive despite his best efforts. At any rate, murder hornets seem par for the course. He's actually a nice guy, just insane. The working theory is that he comes from family money and was one of those sheltered rich kids who was never allowed to play in the dirt as a child and is making up for lost time now.

[wwwwyamd]

i send my sister images and she sends me lovingly worded responses, so here’s a compilation of the sweaters i’ve sent her:

[darkxsoulzyx]

Trying my hand at a decommissioned DCA AU, Except it’s CO-OP mode and I dragged @garbagechocolate and @bbonkie with me hehehehehe ROOMMATES AU BAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Warning!!: Robot parts and gore and stuff :)

I love them so much aaaaaaaaah 🕺🕺🕺

[xcryinginguccix]

(slow damage spoilers: Madarame route)

I honestly think the reason why Towa's blond hair look so goddamn ugly is because either

1. He did it himself with bleach (bleached his hair like 3 times in a row with some kind of box lightener from 7/11)

2. Madarame did it for him because they were drunk and bored (this time they used 2 boxes of bleach in one night, doing it 6 times)

We all know those 2 motherfucker would never spend a dime on a professional hair stylist.

Slow damage? More like hair damage.

[0verseer-o9]

TW: CARTOON GORE +NUDITY??

the flesh that holds me back

[casa-domeupai]

Main bedroom update 2; Parquet Hibernation Tactics

Check out my post on what I've decided to do with the old parquet floor in my house!

Step into my home, where every room tells a story – a story of well, a parquet floor that’s seen better days. Yet another not-so-picture-perfect side of my home improvement saga. Let’s talk about this parquet floor – the one that, at first glance, might seem like a symphony of squares and brightness. But, and this is a big ‘but,’ I’ve got a confession to make. Brace yourself because, despite the…

[ageplay-may]

It’s Arts and Crafts day in class!

Did we have an oops? The sugar prompt is "Arts and Crafts (Gone Wrong)"!

Did we do something right? Spice is "Arts and Crafts (Gone Sexy)"!

---

Prompts || Ao3 Collection

Tags: @ageplay-may || #agepl4y may 2023

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence summaries of every TMA episode

(1-60 i'll add more soon)

part 2 up!

world's most effective anti-smoking PSA

man DOES NOT open coffin. everyone claps.

woman is judgemental towards neighbor even though she has hobbies that are just as weird.

book makes multiple people fall off chair.

man finds bag of teeth and decides he absolutely needs to fuck around and find out.

worm sti.

there was a SCARY MAN in the WAR.

fuck this tree

well at least ted bundy was a great father :)

i'm like 55% sure vampires are real and i'm willing to take those odds

bitches be dying. you're next.

we kill this man because he made the soda too warm.

sorry ur husband's dead. maybe get some help.

Unbox with me ! (GONE WRONG)

hah i'm safe from this one because i have decided to Never Go Into a Cave Ever.

man is so annoying about this spider that even his cat can't be bothered

man's bully finds a book about a Bone Turner and subsequently begins turning people's bones.

this guy sucks at DIY home improvement

aw maybe this priest didn't do anything THAT bad!

oh fuck nevermind

THE SKY ATE MY SON.

the worms stole my identity. i haven't left the house in days.

man beats german children at game of bravery and wins a coin (he later loses this coin)

my ex boyfriend gets casted in the muppets and dies

sorry mom, i've abandoned jesus for a new religion : jesus in the dark.

tall squiggly and HANDsome

old man arm wrestles demon through door knob

the buzzfeed unsolved guys finally catch a ghost but it's their sound tech

immortality but at what cost

working at the big meat factory was so traumatizing it made me vegetarian

i go to america and get almost killed by a furry

well if you love that wasp nest so much why don't you MARRY it (and then she did)

antisocial boat crew bands together to exclude one guy from a midnight party. he dies from the rejection.

bone apple teeth

remember when that norwegian guy threw a tantrum about us not digging a hole? turns out we were right to not dig that hole.

babe come over my parents have taken ill and passed away

man fucks around and it costs him everything

HOMOPHOBIC CHINESE VASE

oh god oh fuck the worms are here

thank you for participating in worms! please rate your wormsperience from 1 to 10.

the wormsperience has left me deeply scarred. i'm going to get lost in a tunnel about it.

🎸music makes me loose control🎸

spooky stories to tell at the next police slumber party

child threatens to run away and join the circus one too many times, and now the circus has come to cash in.

these mosquitoes are mad sus

man frequents local barnes and noble and then dies(?) after liking a book too much.

realtor gets eaten by the backrooms twice. it's a terrible shame.

both me and this weird goth dude have an unsatisfying italy vacation

guy who turns people's bones gets a new job where he continues to turn people's bones.

man who should never be allowed to build prisons builds a prison.

Something Big Is In The Water.

what if u heard me about 15 feet behind you fumbling around and calling out ur name 😳 (and we were both prison guards)

i'm going to be honest i didn't retain anything from this episode except that this guy has the silliest old man voice ever

everybody hates the tax man, including these creepy taxidermy animals

hmmgh. ant house.

so turns out being only 55% sure that vampires are real in my career as a vampire hunter has had some consequences.

the only thing keeping you company in space is your abandonment issues

🎶 the snack that smiles back 🎶 (my husband!)

maybe the real treasure was the house siblings we encased in spider web along the way.

your dead brother wrote books about ancient myths and WHAT

Part 2

[sidediyr]

Almost too much I've been out of work on unpaid leave after twisting my knee to the point that smaller play the softball.

Not only to keep up with paying my bills , but to also hone my skills while I'm out of work to hopefully replace my job someday.

I started working on many different projects in order to build a portfolio of various handmade options once I feel ready go online variety to see what sells best and where to focus my attention.

Then, as luck would have it, while ripping the very last 2x4 board I needed to cut in order to finish the bottom part of a well designed lawn/garden wishing well last night, when I approached the very end of the board I was once again taking back.

The top of my thumb wandered a little too far, and the fact that I needed to stand on the side of the table saw while cutting was not only unsafe it also slowed my progress by mangling my thumb after hitting it against the 9 " round table saw blade as it was still spinning full power.

Instruct the direct center of my thumb so I felt a huge joltl through my body as if I got hit by a truck.

It's not like cutting yourself with a knife or sometimes you hardly feel it going and you just notice you have a huge cut I felt every single second of that so I have to say if there's any other people out there cutting wood, please be careful because I've been doing it for over a decade and I never had anything like that happen before.

I spent about 4 hours in the hospital miraculously I did not break any bone 🍗 but I am restricted from woodworking for a while.

It's got me thinking maybe it's time to learn how to write online using correct SEO and keyword strategy so if anybody can help you with that greatly appreciate it.. I'm open to have enough set up to start building my portfolio with photos once I get this wrapping, stitches and splnt removed.

I am serious about looking for somebody to help maybe even team up if we get along and work well together.

Just putting it out there for warning I am going to post a picture when I wrap and return my phone later so if you're screaming I wouldn't look if I were you.

Take care of yourself and each other

[eupheme]

— renegade

joel miller x f!reader

rated E - 3k words

tags - light angst, established situationship, nightmares, mutual yearning, lots of pretending, soft!dom Joel, restraints, face fucking, fingering, PiV

a/n - inspired by ‘renegade’ by big red machine

“Is this why you’re here?” Joel asks you, shifting his hips, pushing himself deeper into your fist. His voice rough with sleep, the sound making you squirm behind him.

It was easy to pretend it was.

That it was just physical. Fucking the nightmares from your head - that it could be anyone else burying themselves inside you, and the outcome would be the same.

You sleep better here. Anything is better than a night spent alone in the room that isn’t yours, and never will be. Nightmares find you there - seeking out your sorrow, draining you dry.

When it becomes too much, as it often does, you go to him. Going out into the night, slipping like a ghost into the shadows.

Finding the familiar way to inside - finally able to breathe again when the window slides shut with a click. When you’re curled in his bed, the blankets pulled over you like a shield.

It will get you shot, one day. Sneaking in like this. With anyone else you might have been already - but not with Joel.

You think he doesn’t really mind your nightly visits. The way he keeps the crates stacked just so, beneath the fire escape.

How he only locks one side of the window after you leave - the other just out of the reach of your knife, when you wiggle the latch open from the outside.

It smells like him - these faded, patterned sheets. Ones he’d never pick out for himself, in another life.

Before.

Ones that you can’t imagine him not having, because this is the only way you know him.

The familiarity soothes you, even though he’s not here. Exhaustion starting to weigh you down, starting at the tips of your limbs and curling around you like vines.

Eyelids growing heavy, listening to the rain that’s just begun to sprinkle down. Drowning out the stomping rows of boots outside - a white noise that lulls you to sleep.

This time - you don’t dream.

———

He almost missed that you’re here. The sound of your breathing, the little hitches of breath while you sleep, engulfed by the downpour.

Only seeing the lump in the blankets as he sheds his rain-stained coat, the canvas soaked-though at the shoulders.

A mark deepening between his brows as he glances at your form - the jacket and pants thrown over the broken radiator. Moving to the window, flipping the latch on the left side back into place.

You’re slippery. Squeezing through cracks. Worming your way into his room and under the hardened armor of his skin.

For anyone else, this layer you’ve peeled back and crawled beneath would be no more than surface-level. An acquaintance, perhaps.

But with Joel, it’s so much more. It makes his skin itch, as if it was flayed back - exposed and raw.

Uncomfortable. But not unwelcome.

He hadn’t seen you today - the silent check he does. Just needing a glance of your hair, your shape in the crowd. It’s enough, a second in the long minutes and hours that make up his day.

It’s a small relief, a fresh breath of air he didn’t know he needed.

Silently, he strips down. Clothes folded on a chair with chipped paint - someone old DIY gone wrong. Looking like The End had already hit, years before it did.

A hand running through his hair, pushing the damp strands back, padding over to the edge of the bed.

“Come on, honey.” His words hold a softness that doesn’t exist when the sun is shining - a moment he knows you won’t remember.

Gently easing you over, so he can fit himself in behind you. Curling into your warmth, the blankets tucked back around you both.

The frown easing from his face when you murmur - face burrowing into the pillow, fingers brushing against the arm that wraps around your ribs. The hand that flattens against your stomach.

His name, no more than sleepy murmur, as you get comfortable again.

“Joel.”

He wonders if you’re dreaming about him.

He wonders if he’ll dream about you.

———

He’s solid, strong back and broad-shouldered. Shifting in the night to face away from you, as he often did. For comfort or another attempt to keep others out - a literal barrier - you’ll never know. Your chest presses against his spine, an arm curling around his waist.

Your eyes crack open. It’s still dark out, the sky just starting to streak with grey. You hadn’t slept long but you had slept soundly - the best you’ve had in days.

The tip of your nose brushes against the cotton of his shirt. Shifting so you can move higher, so it can skim against the base of his neck, instead. Press into the soft hair that curls - smelling like rain and sweat and him.

Your fingers trace the cotton at his hip, skim across the elastic waistline of his boxers. It had been over two weeks since you had last caved - had last come here.

It had been a good run. But the nightmares had come back - flashes of your past that you can’t bear to relive.

He shields you from them. Waking easily at the first sound of your muttering - his hand curling around your shoulder, low voice pulling you back out.

You know he understands. How he talks in his sleep as well, how you do the same for him. An unspoken agreement.

He shifts, against you. Only the slightest change in his breathing - he can wake from a dead sleep in an instant.

A hand, warm and calloused, finding yours as it brushes the strip of bare skin where his shirt has ridden up.

Dragging your hand down, to where he strains against the fabric. The pressure of his fingers curling yours around his length as he groans.

His hand leaves yours to tug down the waistband, removing the barrier between your palm and his hot, bare skin. Pushing them down his thighs, kicking them off to twist in the blankets.

The tip of your thumb brushes over the head, smearing precum over the tip. Air hisses between clenched teeth as he inhales, as you press yourself closer, crushing yourself against him as your arm pumps.

“Is this why you’re here?” Joel asks you, shifting his hips, pushing himself deeper into your fist. His voice rough with sleep, the sound making you squirm behind him.

It was easy to pretend it was.

That he didn’t go to bed hard, like this - the only thing keeping him from waking you up was knowing how much you needed the sleep.

That it was just physical. Fucking the nightmares from your head - that it could be anyone else burying themselves inside you, and the outcome would be the same.

It’s a lie, though. You both know it.

He’s the only one you go to. You’re the only one he’s let in.

You hum your response, trying to peek over the bulk of his shoulder. To watch him fucking your hand, skin sliding against skin.

Lips press against his neck again and he shudders. Moving your hand from him, twisting in your grip until you’re trapped beneath the spread of thick thighs.

The heavy jut of his flushed cock swaying, as he adjusts himself on top of you. Leaving a damp patch smeared across your breast, as he takes himself in his hand again.

He hasn’t meant to end up quite like this.

Had just wanted you warm and soft beneath him. Moving up too high on your waist on accident - still hazy with sleep - ending up with your arms pinned against your sides.

Making to move, until he sees the way you’re focused on his hand, your lips parting. Showing off a pink flash of tongue. Fingers gripping on to his ankles - the only part of him you can reach - nails digging in.

“You want this?” He asks, stroking himself - his fist fitting in the valley between your breasts. His other hand cupping his sack, squeezing.

Leaving you to watch the flex of his forearm, the flushed tip appearing between thumb and forefinger. Nodding, your tongue peeking out to wet your lips.

“Ask me for it.” It’s not a request, his head tilting as your hands tighten around him.

As he angles his cock down, shifting until it’s hovering, just out of reach. Your chin lifts, mouth opening as your eyes fix on his.

Joel’s jaw grits. You can see the heave of his chest, the hand cupping himself dropping to the curve of your breast. Thumb rolling over the tight bud - the sensation dulled by your thin top, but it’s him and your body still sings.

You crack first.

“Wanna taste you.” Your eyes are still on him, can see the way he swallows hard, how he shifts over you.

“Fuck, baby.” He growls. The hand around his cock drops to curl around the back of your neck, twisting in your hair to angle you.

All while he moves forward, pressing himself against the flat of your tongue. Where you’re open and waiting for the weight of his cock, to taste the salt of his skin and the drop that still clings to the tip.

Wet and aching for him already - a dull thudding between your thighs, where they press and rub together.

You groan, as he inches inside. Lips wrapping around and sucking, causing him to hiss out a breath, his hips hitching.

Nudging him a little too deep, as you cough - tears springing to your eyes. He shifts back with soothing words, the hand on your breast moving to cup your jaw - thumb rubbing against your cheek.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” There’s a pinch to his brow, your head shaking minutely to tell him it’s fine. A second, as he thinks, “Tap my leg if it’s too much. You got that?”

He waits for you to listen, giving an experimental tap. Before he tries again - hips rocking, a slow and shallow press into your mouth.

You take him, relaxing into the cup of his hand. Eyes wandering across his stomach, chest - whatever you can see when he draws back. Closing, so you can listen to the groans that reverberate in his chest. Letting him use you, to fuck your mouth - trusting him, putting yourself in his hands.

A hand that flexes and twists in your hair. His thumb of the other sweeping against your cheekbone, the hollow under your eye - brushing away the tear that glistens against your skin.

So tender it makes your chest ache. Fingers curling against his leg, squeezing. He’s pulling himself from you, then - out of the warmth of your mouth, as you swallow.

Trying to protest that it wasn’t the signal, your lips glossy and shining. He’s shifting back, nudging your thighs wide to fit between them. Lowering himself down, his cock wet and thick and digging into your hip.

“I know.” He murmurs. Before his mouth presses to yours, the kiss sloppy. Tongue brushing where his cock had been, as he tugs at the waistband of your underwear.

Dragging them down to join his, fingers dipping between your thighs. Groaning into your mouth when he feels how wet you are from sucking him off, the tips pressing and circling against your clit.

You whine his name, the stubble on his cheek scraping against your skin. Breath hot in your ear as his weight pins you down. Thumb smearing your slick across your clit, so he can fit a finger inside.

You’re tight, molten hot. Gripping him already as you arch into him, as he slips in another. Curling them until they drag against a spot that makes you moan - strung tight beneath him.

He need to calm down, make you come, before he fucks you. A pressure swiftly building in his belly when he watched you, the trust in the way you took him.

The sound of his fingers is loud, the wet suck as he fits in a third. Stretching you out, each of your breaths harsh, your nails biting into his skin.

Already so needy, already near the edge. Each of your breaths coming shorter as his hips press against yours. Letting your fingers drift to feel the hard curve of his cock, hearing his grunt in your ear when you tug on him.

“Don’t worry about me.” He groans, voice rough before his lips press against the column of your neck.

As if you ever weren’t.

As if you didn’t always want him.

His words were unneeded, because you’re losing concentration quickly. Only focused on the tension in your belly - the pressure like a finger squeezing down the trigger, about to fire.

He’s relentless, fingers pounding, the wet flick of his thumb. Feeling your racing pulse beneath his lips, the sharp gasp of each breath, your muscles flexing.

Tightening around him until that tension snaps. Pleasure thrumming through you as you buck into his hand, your mind going blissfully blank and fuzzy - your moan strung out and pitched high.

Missing his words, feeling the brush of his other hand over your legs, smoothing over your hips. You can just make out the timbre, leaving you to imagine the rest.

Christ, just like that.

Good fucking girl.

Fingers slow as he pushes himself up, only removing them to tug at your shirt - pulling his own from his shoulders.

Folding himself between your limp, spread thighs, before hooking his elbows under your knees. Opening you up, where you’re soaked and the fluttering is still ebbing.

The twist of his wrist as he lines himself up - smearing his tip across your slit. The briefest tease, indulgence, before he slides in. Sinking inside of your tight heat in a long, fluid motion.

“Fuck, I missed you.” You breathe, brow pinched as he fills a chasm you didn’t realize you had.

His breath comes out ragged.

It’s not in the script. The words you both know. No, this had come from the soft pulp of your heart, a late night confession.

He doesn’t know how to take it. Mouth crushing against yours as he sinks deeper, swallowing your words to keep them safe.

Trying not to think about how his own answer had sprung to his lips, unbidden. It’s dangerous. To think like that, to have any sort of claim on anything, now.

It’s easier to pretend you just miss his cock.

That you just came here to forget.

That’s something he can do - drawing his hips back, snapping back in. Watching the way your tits bounce, everything softened and hazy with the thin grey light that creeps in.

Shifting, lifting a leg to brace on his shoulder, pushing him deeper as you gasp. The other pressing against his ribs, curling around his waist.

Freeing up his arms so he can taste your release on his fingertips. Licking you from him before he presses the calloused pads against your own mouth.

You take him, tongue curling around spit-slicked fingers. Tasting yourself on them, your sighs muffled when he presses down on your tongue.

Thumb dragging against your lower lip, before he pulls himself from the heat of your pretty mouth. Finding his way to where you take him, tracing slick fingers up your slit. Feeling where you’re stretched wide around him, puffy and slick.

Teasing at your clit - as your hands clench in the sheets, twisted up near your ears.

In a world where the right protection can mean life or death - where a bite can end everything - it’s a wonder how you bare yourself to him. His hand ghosting across soft skin, from breasts to hip. Fingertips indenting flesh, gripping, pulling, tugging.

Watching with greedy eyes how you gaze up at him, an ankle digging into his shoulder - trying to force him deeper. He leans forward, putting more force behind his thrusts, watching the way your lips part with a soft “ah!” with every breath.

Fingers pressing and swiping against the tight bud of your clit, the way he knows you like it.

He needed this too - to bury himself in you. Feel the way you wrap tight and warm around him. His own tongue loosened like this, his own release building again.

“Christ, look at you.” He grits out.

Admiring. It makes you preen, lips stretched wide in a grin, a bright flash of teeth in the dark. Eyes half-lidded and heavy, doing your own slow sweep.

Over a tight waist that your leg hooks around. Bare stomach and broad chest, dusted with dark hair, only the slightest hint of grey. Not like the strands at his temples, the ones that streak throughout the curls. Peppering his facial hair.

Ruining you again. It had been a long time since you wanted something, and you can’t get him out of your head. Always coming back, even though you’re sure it won’t end well.

Because nothing does, any more.

You won’t let your soft heart ruin tonight. Not when his thumb sweeps across your hip. His eyes dark and glittering as he watches your face, as he works you up again.

The sharp rut of his cock and swirl of his fingers so perfect, that the tears start to well up, again.

“Joel,” You say his name again, “F-fuck, I’m gonna come.”

You felt like heaven on his fingers - tight and hot and sopping wet for him. It doesn’t hold a candle to now, how you squirm beneath him, the slap of his skin against yours.

The snug fit of your cunt, as you clench around him.

“Want you to.” He rasps out, resisting the urge to fuck you harder, faster. Keeping the same pace, the same circle of his fingers, “Let me feel you, baby.”

Need you to.

You come with a cry. Back bowing against the mattress, limb wrapping around him. Turning his thrusts into a sloppy grind, your hands coming to grip at his forearms. The waves crashing over you stronger and longer than before, your vision turning dark and hazy.

“Fuck. Fuck-” He growls - as the tight pulse pulls him to the edge.

It’s too much.

It’s all he can think about, as he pulls himself from you. Fisting his cock, jerking himself until he spills across your mound, your slick pussy.

How he wishes he could have stay buried, throbbing inside you, coating your walls with his release. Marking you, only pulling out so he can watch it leak from you later.

The word echos in his ears, layered with the thudding of his heart.

Dangerous.

———

You’re gone, when he wakes up.

The hazy morning sun is just barely casting warm rays of light onto the worn wooden floorboards as he drags himself from bed - a hand passing over his face, pressing into his eyes.

Pushing himself up, making his way over to the window.

But there’s nothing - just puddles collecting in the broken ridges of the roads. The streets washed clean from the rain.

Fingers drift, tracing up the cool frame of the window, until it’s touching the chipped white paint of the latch. Lost in thought for a long moment - before his hand drops back down to the sill.

He leaves the right side unlocked.

thank you so much for reading! 💕

[minhohours]

what i want | han jisung & hwang hyunjin

Pairing: Jisung x F!Reader x Hyunjin

Summary: you've been their roommate for a few months. you haven't left their minds for a few months. they thought that they'd be happy with silently fantasizing about you. they were dead wrong. one night, they decide to talk to you, a real, honest talk, and they discover just how far you are willing to go for them

Genre: smut

Content: non idol! hyunsung, teasing, threesome, dirty talk, begging, fingering, groping, dry humping, oral (f & m recieving), diy bondage, body worship, boob/nipple play, deep throating, penetration, deep throating while being penetrated, protected sex, overstim

You look down and.. uh oh! Your hole is gone. Where there used to be your genitals, it's just as smooth as a barbie.

"It's gone?" Jisung asks.

"Yeah..." you say.

Hyunjin takes a look.

"Yeah, it's gone," he says with a sigh.

"Well that sucks," you say. Now how are you supposed to have a threesome?

Hyunjin looks up from your flat area. "You should probably see a doctor about that."

"I guess..."

The next day you go to your doctor, who also happens to be Hyunjin.

"Damn... It's still gone," Dr. Hyunjin says professionally. "I was hoping this would've fixed itself overnight. He openly googles 'my patient is flat what do i do????' and no results show up, because Google is a terrible search engine.

And so, you are cursed to be completely flat down there for the rest of your life. Sad!

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Being Atsumu’s Pregnant Partner:

YN goes into Labor

Atsumu Miya x Pregnant! GN reader

Warnings: swearing, pregnancy and a lot of stuff to do with pregnancy, mentions of throwing up and bodily fluids

***pregnancy is different for everyone and I’m basing this off my own personal experience

AN: *sigh* friends I’m having major baby fever and since I’m forever done diy-ing my own, I shall instead write about it 😌 maybe I should just get a kitten

Looking back now, it probably wasn’t the best idea to go to a professional, five set volleyball match at 39 weeks pregnant but here you were. You’d always been the devoted type, doing anything and everything you could to support your man no matter what.

Atsumu Miya wasn’t always the easiest partner to have but you loved the big dummy. He was extremely dedicated to his sport and team, which made dealing with him outside the court rather bothersome at times.

Nevertheless, you decided that you could stand just enough of him to spend your life by his side and raise a family. His brother, Osamu, asked you about a million times is you were for sure ready to raise a baby Miya. He knew exactly what it would be like because he was one.

At first you laughed it off, thinking that you had a few years of rest before the chaos would ensure but man, were you wrong. You’d become pregnant relatively quickly, making both you and Atsumu extremely excited.

However, your excitement soon dampened as you began spending most of your day hugging the porcelain thrown or downing antacids to help with the wicked indigestion that crept up your throat at every turn. Your breasts ached, your sleep suffered and the smell of nearly anything sent you running to the bathroom. Your skin broke out, hair began to shed, and most days, you felt like a Sméagol from lord of the rings, just trying to protect your unborn baby.

Atsumu had been as supportive as you imagined he’d be. This mostly meant calling Osamu to make you something to eat or google home remedies to help with your morning sickness. Osamu was also extremely excited for his little niece or nephew to make their appearance, doing whatever he could when Atsumu was gone to help you.

You’d managed to make it all the way to 39 weeks, and you were excited to finally be done. The doctor had scheduled an induction for the following week because of blood pressure issues. You weren’t exactly stoked about the idea of an induction but the fact that you’d be able to meet your baby soon was thrilling.

You waddled your way through the crowd, waving to people as you passed. Akaashi had stopped to talk with you as well as Asahi and Suga. It was nice to see everyone again even though you were exhausted.

“There they are!” Osamu yelled, waving you over to his Onigiri stand as you huffed and puffed, finally able to stop. The pressure from the baby was making it difficult to walk, your pelvis hurting as you leaned on the corner of his stand, his chuckle causing you to glare at him.

“You know you could have stayed him YN. Sumu pays for the expensive sports channels because he’s obsessed with watching replays of his games, I’m sure you’d see him on there,” Osamu joked as you motioned for a delicious looking Onigiri in the corner of the display case.

“This will probably be the last game Sumu plays in for a bit because of his paternity leave. I don’t want to miss it!”

Osamu chuckled, shaking his head as you made your way to the stairs of the bleachers. Your phone rang as you began to ascend, huffing and puffing as you walked up.

“Hello,” you answered as the noise of the locker room filled your ears.

“Hey baby! Did ya make it?” Atsumu shouted back as you finally found your spot and took a seat releasing a heavy sigh as you settled in.

“Not up as high as I normally go but my feet hurt too much to even care.”

Sumu laughed as you looked around to see the stands filled with people.

“Well just relax baby, this time next week will be in the hospital having our baby!”

You groaned just thinking about the idea of pushing out this child, knowing that the possibility of having a small baby was out of the picture.

“Yeah yeah, just make sure you win today, ok? I don’t want yo moping around the house for the next week!”

Atsumu laughed loudly as you smiled. He agreed and hung up the phone, knowing you’d be there to support him no matter what happened.

The teams took their places, and the match began without a hitch. You knew it’d be a long one by the sheer energy happening around you. Two sets had already taken place and the teams were tied. You watched as Sumu slammed a service ace right into the opposing team's court. Your man was on fire today, probably excited about everything happening around him.

The pressure of the baby on your bladder, pushed as you tried to adjust, not wanting to walk out right in the middle of Sumu’s serves. Of course, you knew his serves could go on for a while, so you finally caved, as you thought about the nearest bathroom.

Standing up, you felt a twinge hit. Your back began to radiate pain as it moved to the front of your belly. You gritted your teeth, gripping the side of the chair as you grabbed your stomach.

“Are you ok?” Someone asked as you turned to them confused and nodded. There was no way this was anything more than Braxton hick's contractions, right?

The pain subsided as you assured the person you were ok and made your way to the bathroom. In the bathroom, you noticed you had started losing the mucus plug your doctor had talked about. You knew this meant nothing and weren’t concerned as you continued to feel the baby kick in your stomach.

Washing your hands, you felt the pain against radiate from your back to your front. You had no idea how far apart these pains were as you quickly grabbed your phone and waited for the pain to subside.

Hitting the timer, you exited the bathroom and made your way back to your seat. You felt another pain hit as you quickly checked the timer.

7 minutes.

Standing on the side, you waited for the pain to pass again before ascending the stairs. At this point, you were clearly in denial that anything was happening. Surely these were only practice contractions. Your body had done them before but then again, they’d never felt quite like this.

You restarted the time as you finally sat down, trying to remain calm as you focused back on the game. A few minutes passed again before the pain started, only this time, you felt a pop, followed by a trickle of water fill your pants. You began to stand up as the pain emanated through your stomach.

“Hey Yn- YN HOLY CRAP!” You heard someone yell as Osamu came running over you to, abandoning the Onigiri in his hands to grab onto your arm and steady you.

“Samu the baby, I think the babies coming!” You whined as Osamu’s eyes widened at you, the crowd cheering as MSBY scored yet another point.

At this point, you had tears in your eyes, the pressure from the baby pushing more fluid from your body as the pain continued to radiate. You leaned hard on Samu, groaning as you tried to make it through the pain.

Osamu looked around for anyone he knew, anyone who could possibly help him get you downstairs and to the hospital. As if on cue, he looked down to see Sakusa’s eyes locked with his. He knew his best bet at this point was to try and signal to Sumu that you were in labor.

“YN’s in labor!” He mouthed as Sakusa’s eyes widened and he turned to Sumu who was in the back row. Sakusa wasn’t sure what to do as Sumu was preparing to serve yet again. He wasn’t a person to normally shout but then again, it wasn’t everyday his teammates partner was in active labor at a game.

He looked over to the coach who was now concerned about what was going on with him and why he continued to trail his eyes into the crowd. At this point, Hinata had begun to notice as well, his eyes following Sakusa’s as he saw you, bent over and holding your stomach as Osamu supported you.

“Holy crap YN’s in labor!” He shouted just as Sumu threw the ball up the serve. His eyes widened as his palm made contact with the ball.

“WHAT!?!” He bellowed, sending the ball slamming hard into the other side of the court as the whistle blew signaling the end of the set.

Atsumu quickly looked up to see Osamu helping you down the stairs as you breathed, your face contorted in pain.

“Shit Yn!” He shouted, quickly taking off into the crowd to get to you. He ran as fast as he could, dodging people left and right until he finally met you at the base of the stands.

“YN’s definitely in labor Sumu, their water broke and everything. Contractions are 7 minutes apart right now, but they are in a ton of pain,” Osamu recited as you moaned through another painful contraction, Atsumu grabbing onto your belly and helping lift it to relieve some pressure.

He hadn’t been super eager to take the birthing class suggested by your doctor, but he had to admit, the techniques were coming in handy.

“Sumu the game!” You whined as the contraction ended. Sumu shook his head vigorously before he was interrupted.

“Don’t worry about the game Yn, we will put in our sub and thanks to Sumu’s service ace, we are ahead a set,” Coach answered, coming up with Meian and Sakusa

“Just worry about having that baby Yn!” Meian chuckled as you smiled.

“Please take YN to the hospital now, do you know how unsanitary birthing a baby here would be?” Sakusa demanded as Atsumu blindly nodded and took control of you, Osamu running ahead to grab his car to help.

At the hospital, the doctor checked you before the anesthesiologist made their way to you, providing you with a moment to breathe. Osamu was waiting outside, not wanting to miss the birth of his brothers baby.

“Don’t you wanna watch the game Sumu?” You asked as your partner came beside you and grabbed your hand.

“Nah, Hinata texted me and told me we won. I’ll just watch it when we get home from the hospital. Plus, I want our baby to see how awesome I look on TV!”

You giggled, laying your head back as you rested your body. Atsumu right by your side as you entered this new stage of life together.

[badchoicesworld]

hello hello hi ! i hope you're doing well ! may i request a miles!42 and hobie with like a butterfly mutated reader (masc) ? ironically he's more bug than beauty and has alot of features that he tries to hide (antennae, long ears and :3 mouth that opens up to a long tongue to suck up food ? he has teeth too but theyre sharp with fangs in the splatoon inkling way. skin is like a bug's sort of hard and exoskeletonly and bro is just really fluffy. like his wrists and neck have fluff)

reader is a result of like a weird science experiment gone wrong so he sort of feels like an alien trying to fit in whenever his features pop out. he just wants to live an ordinary life but somehow keeps on gettinh pulled in the middle of every superhero fight there is :'). also ! ARTKIDDD

im sorry if the req got really specific to work w aha :') hope you have a good one !

hobie brown and miles42 with butterfly mutated boyfriends !

huge fan of these mutated readers, i am however a tmnt man so (i fuckin see you btw, my most active friend and that tmnt blog)

separate, established relationships

warnings: nah

pairing: hobie brown x masc!reader, miles morales!42 x masc!reader

requests: check out my guide/masterlist

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

we all know hobie’s a massive fan of making a statement, so he thinks that you look absolutely incredible with your mutation

will likely go through a phase of insisting you should embrace it and flaunt it, he’s gotta be told a few times that you just wanna live an ordinary life

sounds a little boring to him, but whatever suits you, y’know?

he’s not the guy to go to however for tips on how to blend in, do not ask

you’ve got a butterfly mutation, he’s got a spider mutation- he calls you the bug boys sometimes when he’s feeling hyped up and you can feel how you wanna feel about that

if you ever tell him about your mutation, about the experiments and such, it just fuels hobie’s habit of antagonising authority n all that

you’re like walking proof of the government taking advantage of the people through the systems they put in place to protect them but in reality are just some form of propaganda to give the public false hope and sense of security

yeah, hobie wasn’t surprised when you told him

not too pressed over it either since it’s been and done, no point in getting worked up over something thats irreversible and apart of you now

feels disrespectful to even feel bad to a degree

of course he feels bad that you were experimented on, but he’s not gonna say anything about your actual mutation

does however have something inappropriate to say about ur tongue im sorry

yknow what hard skins good for ? drawing on, let him please

yknow what fluff around you ur neck and wrists is great for ? hobie and his desperation for contact, ur mad comfy dawg

he likes to wear his studded collars and wrist bands in the same places as your fur sometimes, matching innit

hobie absolutely recognised how badly you want to have an ordinary life, so can honestly empathise and sympathise when you somehow manage to find yourself sucked into every super scrap in the city

he can try diverge the fights, but can’t promise a thing since they tend to be unpredictable

hobie’s plenty happy to diverge from large crowds with you if it helps you stick out less, he’ll navigate for the two of you and somehow come up with insane routes to get to where you need to be

will diy you clothes tailored to your mutation, shirts with holes in the back for your wings just so they don’t have to be uncomfortably folded under clothes n stuff

miles42

i feel like with society going up in flames, standing out is something you generally wanna avoid in earth42, just doesn’t seem so safe

so miles definitely goes the extra mile (ha) to make sure you’re not gonna stick out too much

if you’re smaller than him he’ll for sure lend you certain things to wear if they cover you up well enough, he knows just about every nook and cranny in the city to hide in whenever your features decide to make a guest appearance

like if you’re ever just walking down a street then your antenna poke out, he’s very fast to act and doesn’t make a big deal out of it

now you either just chill in an alley together or start making your way home through the intricate backstreets miles can effortlessly navigate

he appreciates your mutation though, it’s one of them things that he can silently admire and daydream about instead of worrying about the future

realistically ? you could be a result of a really shitty human experiment gone wrong at oscorp, god knows they can take advantage of the people without a spider-man to protect them

if you ever reveal this to miles, he’s obviously upset, but it’s probably predicted at this point

i imagine in his universe that they’re a force to be reckoned with

asks his mum to make things for you sometimes, to help you feel better about your appearance and to help hide certain features that you wanna

can completely understand your desire to want an ordinary life, he does too

he’ll help you achieve it, it’s one of his dreams and he can only hope to share it

your mutation takes time to get used to but it gets to the point where miles simply won’t bat an eye at your mutation, he treats you like any other person in the world except he loves you- wants so badly for you to feel normal if that’s what you want

in the least condescending way he will insist from time to time for you to stay home, just for your own safety if he starts to notice a particular rise in stats

he completely understands your desire to just blend in, but it’s not worth it if you’re genuinely at risk

he gets into the habit of doodling butterfly features on scraps of paper, on the back of his hand during classes- you’re on his mind a lot

says that he’s indifferent towards ur fluff but then he’ll fix it up for you after putting a shirt on and it’s a lil outta sorts

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

sorry this is kinda brief and not great, i’ve been out of it for the longest time but i’m tryna provide 💪💪