#do not take a word of this seriously

[boinin]

Flairs on /r/BlueLock

A meta commentary/shitpost. I'm not sure which.

For Tumblr-onlys: Reddit allows users to add a flair beside their usernames, much like Tumblr allows badges. Flair are unique to individual subreddit, and only appear when that user comments or posts in that subreddit. The Blue Lock subreddit allows users to set custom text flairs, which may include a selection of emojis or character thumbnails.

This post contains adult humour/explicit references.

I posit that there's three categories of user flairs on Reddit.

The first category is what I refer to as normie flairs.

These include much of what you'd expect, if you maintain the false assumption that enjoyers of football shounen are straight, well-adjusted young men. Many users take this opportunity to represent their appreciation for a particular character (i.e. "Isagi Yoichi"). Admirable, but ultimately boring.

Much like Tumblr has its microcosms and meta humour, so does /r/BlueLock. In flairs, users make reference to fandom in-jokes (e.g. "Red Keys #1 fan", or "#1 Paralympic Footballer" next to a thumbnail of Yukimiya Kenyu). Other flairs reference quotes from the manga that inspire them (e.g. "Shut the fuck up Ness", "There is a monster inside me"). Although edgy in tone, these flairs are still reasonably explicable, should their parents check their browsing activity.

A recurring theme among this user group is a desire to distance themselves from homosexuality. Although excessive gayness is canon in Blue Lock, some users are defiant in their assertion that the series is about ball handling and nothing else. Hence, the existence of flairs such as "Miss Me With That Gay Shit" and "I'm just here to talk football dude".

For these users, the most relatable character in the series is Adam Blake: Mr. "I have no interest in male bodies" himself.

True martyrs. We salute them.

On to the second category.

Again, this is a loose category in terms of content and theme. You may question why I've chosen to differentiate these from the normie flairs. However, while all of these users are expressing admiration for the characters, the way they do so is hornier than a bunch of imprisoned football virgins. They are more worked up than Shidou, when he scores a goal.

I introduce this grouping as… the down bad flairs. There's a lot to unpack. Take your time.

We cannot infer that all the flairs in this group are the result of users biting their lips and moaning whenever a certain character appears. There may be a innocent explanation for why someone would designate themselves "King Barou's Chair" or "Muscle Mommy Kunigami's Squat Bar Pad".

Perhaps they simply kin as furniture.

Users among this group embrace the fruity nature of the series. Although it's untrue to say all Redditors are male basement dwellers and thus, in gay denial. There's evidence that women also frequent the subreddit to thirst over pretty manga boys, using the broadband their parents paid for. At least, this is what flairs such as "Kenyuu's beloved waifu" and "Impregnate me, Shidou!" suggest. There's even straight men present, if "Drinking Anri Mommy Milkies" and "Bachira's Mom's boyfriend" are anything to go by. Forgive them their sins, they know not how to play along.

But cis-heteronormativity is a scourge, something Blue Lock fans understand better than most. After all, no particular gender is required to become "Noel Noa's sugar baby" or "Isagi's personal toe sucker".

In terms of distribution, no one is safe from the thirstiness of /r/BlueLock users. Nearly every character has a thirst flair to their name. The ones that seem to inspire the most unhinged flairs are Shidou "dress sluttily, I can fight" Ryusei, Michael Kaiser ("Reincarned as Kaiser's Wet Underwear") and Bachira Meguru ("Bachira's leaking rosebud").

As the protagonist, Isagi naturally attracts a lot of favour. Some flairs highlight his prowess (e.g. "I love it when isagi shoots from behind", or the more possessive "isagi meatrider get out kaiser"). These users are, unfortunately, deluded. I regret to inform them that there is no universe in which Isagi is a top. He'd be devouring your dick, not the other way around.

To the conclusion. If you are a /r/BlueLock veteran (my condolences), you will have noticed a conspicuous absence among the second flair group. You may be thinking, is this chick blinder than Yukimiya? Can they even read?? They missed the worse ones.

To this I say: Do not cite the deep flairs to me bitch. I was there when they were written.

One image lies below the cut. Unlike the other two, the third category of user flairs has an obvious theme.

However, there is no returning beyond this point. Once you have borne witness to this forbidden knowledge, you will be irrevocably changed. It may ruin your life... or awaken something in you. Either way, a price must be paid.

Consider this my final warning. You may yet walk away from this post unscathed. Even with the words "Devouring Aiku's Hairy Ass" branded on your psyche.

But if you are determined—if you have steeled your mind (and your eyes), open this video in another tab and read on.

Anyone who guessed horny Chigiri flairs, take 1,000 Jeopardy points and a shot of something strong.

I'm not going to invent pseudo-intellectual commentary for this. Y'all came this far, see for yourself. I can't justify some of these, nor begin to explain them—and I write Blue Lock fanfiction. These users are in another dimension of Chigiri worship, one I can never bridge.

Source and references: this

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[kizzer55555]

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

[ratuszarsenal]

so there's this thing which I've dubbed academic fiction, where I write a long, precise academic paper, confirming to your citation model of choice and everything, except every single thing in there is made up. anyway if I made a zine that was a pretend-academic journal full of only that would anyone be interested in reading it

[keferon]

*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*

Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.

You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah

I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender

…..I made the moodboard….

[tumblingxelian]

A Necessary Post - Yang, Taiyang & Seeing Red

I debated this being a message or a note or a reblog, but ultimately this warranted an essay. Because a hatred of nuance is not even remotely the reason why Tai is critiqued as a teacher or father.

With that fact in mind, let's begin:

During RWBY Volume 4, Episode 9: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back Taiyang has a great deal of critical feedback for Yang regarding her fighting style, personality & Semblance.

The issue is that Tai's words and advice when compared to what we saw on screen before & afterwards demonstrate he does not understand how it works or how she used it.

So here for your reading pleasure if a more or less line by line breakdown of Tai's advice and why I don't feel it holds up & more to the point, why I don't believe Yang utilized it.

Taiyang: Do you realize that you used your Semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers?

Yang rightfully points out that her using Burn is no different than anyone else using their Semblances. I would add that Yang's Semblance only serves to enhance her already present abilities with damage taken in a fight. So her not using it would be stupidly holding back extra energy for no reason.

Tai's critique also fails to register that when using her Semblance to take out FNKI, Yang specifically disrupted the ground so Neon could not skate effectively & used the boost in power to turn Flynt's own weapon against him.

I will be addressing Mercury further down but she used it effectively and intellectually here and to great effect.

What's more, every other fights fighting style, weapons or both were literally built around their Semblances. Yang's threat level remains fairly consistent without her Semblance, all three of these other characters take a huge dip.

Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum.

Ignoring that calling the manifestation of Yang's soul a temper tantrum is another in a long line if dickish things Tai says to Yang. Her Semblance literally does not work that way.

Her anger has jack and shit to do with it, this has been explained & demonstrated time and time again. Yang only gets a power boost when she's been injured, the fact she tends to be angry when using it is because being hurt sucks and she's usually in an intense fight. When the fight is going well and she still gets to use it she's not angry, as seen with a pleased smirk here:

So as before, Tai's critique is bereft of any merit, Yang's Semblance does not work that way.

Taiyang: I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible!

Cite a time Yang thought she was invincible, cite it provably that Yang thought, said or indicated that she felt she was invincible. You can't because Yang never indicated as such this is something Tai is assuming about her at best.

& no her jumping in the Nevermore's mouth is not an example because she was not using her Semblance, did not take damage, it was a very effective strategy & seemingly either part of the plan, or was so easily understood that it could be safely and reliably worked into the plan. She wasn't using her Semblance here but finding evidence of risky behavior was hard, especially with her Semblance, go figure.

In fact every time Yang used her Semblance she did so only because someone landed a blow, which just happens in fights sometimes.

Taiyang: It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired!

We know what happens when Yang misses, she can swing again!

After the first blow on the Paladin she missed & needed help to catch it, her missing had zero impact on her Semblances.

As to what happens if they are stronger, um, she loses, that sometimes happens in fights. Its not something Yang can do anything about by holding back on extra strength. Not to quote Qrow but sometimes bad things happen. Other characters losing to stronger opponents don't get given this kind of diatribe's because its pointedly obvious that there was nothing to be done about it.

& on the final piece, she was very pointedly not weak and tired after using it. The only times she has been shown to be is when she was extremely low on Aura regardless in which cases not using her Semblance is a death sentence.

So again, we've established Tai's critique comes from nowhere & his understanding of her Semblance is nonexistent.

Taiyang: But you gotta keep your emotions in check. Keep a level head, and think before you act. Your Semblance is a great fallback, but you can't let yourself rely on it.

This is so painfully unfair it hurts.

No other character gets this kind of shit for expressing emotions in combat. In fact we see characters expressing emotions in battle all the time. Nor has she stopped displaying emotions in combat:

I already outlined how in all two of the Yang fights Tai actually witnessed she used strategy and retained excellent combat form. So again, baseless claims from Tai.

What's more, Yang primarily does use her Semblance as a fallback rather than rely on it in these fights. She only whipped it out against Mercury when he'd unleashed his seeming kill move on her and was confident he'd won.

Not using it here would be dumb and make no sense.

Yang doesn't rely on it to save her, she deploys it when it makes sense to & she has the energy or the need. This is more than we see from many characters.

Taiyang: It won't always save you. Obviously.

So now he is critiquing her for a fight he didn't even witness & knows jack shit about. So let's break this down once again:

Yang has spent the last 24 hours questions her sanity.

Yang's new home (Her words) is burning down.

Yang's sister is missing in all this chaos.

Then Yang's partner gets fucking stabbed, and the guy who did it is standing between them with a sword & gun, with fire all over Grimm all around.

Anything Yang can do he can counter, she tries to go around he only has to pivot. If she tries to fire from long range she might hit Blake. She tries an earth shock wave, she launches Blake into the fire.

She quite literally had no others options & zero time to try anything else because he can just shoot or stab Blake whenever he wants.

Taiyang: You definitely have your mom's stubbornness.

This, this right here is where all this is actually coming from. Tai is once again projecting Raven onto Yang despite them frankly having almost nothing in common.

With most of Yang's visible personality tells being inherited from Summer, such as the mother daughter shoulder check of V9. Thanks to chittychittyyangyang for the GIFs

Or as outlined in some songs with Yang's side of the lyrics explicitly citing how she is trying to fill the Summer shaped void in their lives.

Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away.

Taiyang: Your mother was... a complicated woman. Like everybody, she had her faults, but those faults are what tore our team apart. And, it did a real number on our family.

Tai blames Raven for tearing their team apart. Save that by all accounts, barring her absence things seemed to be going fine. Qrow seemed to be present in their lives, Tai looked happy, the girls were happy & Summer at least seemed happy though we know she was covering up a lot of dread.

Keep in mind Tai is projecting Raven, the woman he blames for destroying the team and damaging the family onto his daughter who literally kept the family together after Summer died. Yang's established this, Ruby has established this, its canon.

Yang: I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone. (pause) Weiss, if you have something to say, then say it. Ruby: If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me.

Tai was not the one holding that home or family together. Unless you think the writers are gonna randomly swerve & say both Yang & Ruby are big whiny liars for some utterly nonsensical reasons. So no, I don't take him seriously as a narrator or critique of Yang, I have no reason to.

But let's push on, because I'm not done.

Taiyang: You both act like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it. (pointing at Zwei) That strength is all that matters in a fight.

Ah yes, Raven, the woman famously known for thinking the easiest way to deal with an obstacles is to tackle it head on. That's why she spent years adorning herself in a Grimm helmet that hid her eyes & raised a False Maiden to serve as her body double.

A woman so inclined to rely on her own raw strength that when she was ambushed by Salem's forces she decided to trick them into an ambush.

Then when fighting Cinder and was at a disadvantage she freezes her in place while making Cinder think she is going on the offensive leaving her to be crushed by Stalactites & also utilized mind games to distract her & deal the finishing blow... Cos she only relies on strength.

As to his final piece of advice I already address it up above, there was no way around Adam, the situation was fucked from the start.

Saying it was Yang's fault she was dismembered is no more than victim blaming, I stood by that in Volume 3 to to this day & beyond.

Taiyang: But if you just take a second look, then maybe you see... (walking toward her, stepping around Zwei) there's a way around as well.

But let's actually look at Seeing Red & if Yang listened to Tai's advice or if she not only ignored it but did the opposite of what he ordered.

Let's see she goes in with open aggression & emotions, and also takes many blows rather than going 'around' them somehow.

Yang, as if she were 'indestructible' outright tanks a massively charged up Aura beam for the purpose of increasing her strength.

Then burns through all of her Aura & Semblance energies delivering one direct blow, relying on it to save her & leaving her weak & tired.

Or in other words, she:

Yang didn't miss, but we know that isn't a real issue anyway.

Yang used her Semblance to 'win' the fight & very much did rely on it to save her.

Yang expressed anger & many other emotions in the battle & still continues to does so.

Yang willingly took huge risks that involved her being able to take tons of damage rather than go "Around" the problem.

Yang knew Adam was likely stronger given it was 2 V1 but relied on her Semblance to get her out of that bind and she was in fact left weak and tired.

This is also the first time she has done several of these things, or otherwise demonstrated these traits, such as being left weak and tired or willingly tanking big attacks rather than just being hit by surprise or due to being overwhelmed.

I don't take Tai's advice seriously because none of it was accurate or aligned with the Semblance we saw in action or had described to us.

I don't trust Tai's opinion on Yang because his take on her is explicitly informed by Raven & not the Yang we spent four & then five more volumes getting to know.

I don't take Tai's words over Yang's, Ruby's or what we see on screen because Tai is at best a secondary or minor character & a recurring theme in RWBY is the failure of older generations.

These failures are not just in the past but how they have been consistently failing the next generation as the story is being told. There is zero reason to think Tai is some magic exception to this narrative trend when much more well explored characters like Maria, Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, Raven, and hell, Summer Rose are not.

& that is my stance on that, thanks for tuning in!

[nico-di-genova]

“Lance is rude. Lance is a dick.”

Okay well you try being constantly asked by media in a crowded, echoing space if you’re having problems with your confidence after you’ve shown improvement that has been ignored. You try being kind to people only to have the kindness thrown back in your face and vitriol said behind your back. You try facing back handed commentary and snide remarks about your future. Day in and day out, you try having article after article slandering your name being put out simply because people hate that you have money in a sport where that is the norm.

I’d be fed the fuck up too. Lance shouldn’t have to play nice for these people to treat him with the bare minimum respect. He deserves his seat, and I’m sick of it always being questioned if he does.

[lover-of-mine]

I don't think people seem to understand that they could've given up. We know fox was blocking bisexual Buck and that probably means they were blocking buddie, so they could've given up. Buddie is a love story. Their devotion to each other is canon. There isn't anything the show can do that's gonna convince me they don't love each other. But they could've given up at any point. Backed off, actually give any other love interest a fighting chance, double down on them being best friends and not make it bigger. They choose not to. They kept adding to this love story as best as they could. They are best friends. They are partners. They are family. They would die for each other but they also have fun together. They have one braincell they keep pingponging between them. They love each other. That's a fact. That will always be a fact. They are each other's person. And now we are at a place where that can be explicitly explored. It's a slowburn. It's a network slowburn. The desire to rip your hair out comes with it but it makes the moment they finally get their shit together that much sweeter. We're getting there. Somehow y'all had more hope when all we had to go on was a couch. Buck is actually queer now. This time last year Buck and Eddie were getting a comphet ending. Now one of them is actually queer. We're gonna get there, but they are not just gonna trip into a relationship because they are too careful with buddie as a friendship to not address the issues and make things natural before getting them together because everyone involved in this madness knows what they have in their hands. They know once they get buddie together it's forever, they're not gonna rush into it now they have actual room to play.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy very belated birthday.. I hope you had much time celebrating by digging for tubers : )

I'M DIGGING FOR TUBERS! AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!

[kaeyachi]

One of the probable reasons as to why Kaeya didn't arrive on time for Crepus and Diluc when they were attacked was because he, and the knights with him, had no vision, and thus, cannot use a teleport waypoint.

Him receiving his cryo vision when he was supposed to get scorched by Diluc was genuinely the biggest slap to the face given to him by Celestia. It arrived just in time to save HIM.

Even now, the vision only heals and shields him alone as a manifestation of his desire to keep living from that fight... but he can't use it to help others.

[onpie]

Noodles and Tea’s work inspired me fr

[raiiny-bay]

the kids released a new album

[jesterjaxx]

Ok SO

Canonically his dad is a cop and there are a couple jokes about his parents not loving him, dudes dad straight up said "actually, do we love you?" Like sir damn anyways im taking that and running with it SO

Giving him a fucked up situation of him and his dad always butting heads and both of them escalating things constantly, and as he got older the ends to the arguments went from getting grounded or punished to getting kicked out or Duncan just leaving, probably escalating to his dad kicking him out semi regularly and eventually his mom or dad telling him to come back home to make a kinda fucked up cycle

And like i know they gave the convict kid a cop dad for the laugh like its not that deep at ALL

but like that sets up sucha fucked power dynamic and i want to use that

and we never find out what got Duncan sent to juvie for the first time, its said off screen while some characters are spilling embarrassing or dark secrets and in my fucked up world either he accumulated a couple charges while he was kicked out, indirectly the fault of his dad

or worse but more tempting

he got kicked out and his dad arrested him for trespassing

so like idk i just love the idea of a pyromaniac, vandal convict who has no respect for authority or mutual trust having the tragic backstory that his first time getting arrested was at the hands of his father

[epic-sorcerer]

“Arthur can totally dress himself he’s just spoiled” why are you giving him that much credit

[puppyeared]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[autisticlancemcclain]

Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me

i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.