#don't ask me where this came from and why it took like 4 hours for me to write

[starrystevie]

eddie's new years resolution is to stop running away from things that are scary, and steve harrington scares him.

steve with his hair and his body and his charm, all the things that everyone knows and admires him for. but it's more like the things other people don't get at a glance that scare eddie. the way he smiles softly when he's endeared by the kids or the way he subconsciously makes his way to the front of their group to always be the first line of protection or the way he offers up his couch to eddie the second he hears he isn't sleeping.

it all adds up to steve being utterly terrifying because eddie can't control the way he's falling in love with him. his heart beats wildly in his chest when steve's smile is directed towards him. his lungs feel too tight when steve teases him, forcing broken laughs out of him to try and kickstart his chest to take heaving breaths. his skin feels like a live wire anytime steve so much as brushes his arm. he gets lightheaded by the half clavin klein cologne and half steve harrington smell when they sit close on his tiny couch as they watch old reruns.

but eddie isn't running away this year, so he faces steve head on. he flirts with him at every opportunity he gets, pressing up into his space with wide grins and hooded eyes. he lets his touches linger along with his heavy looks and waits for the day that steve will hopefully flirt back.

steve's new years resolution is to stop being such a relentless flirt, and man, is he dying to flirt back with eddie.

it's all robin fault, really. she pokes fun at him enough for sweet talking anything that moves and steve finally had enough, blurting out one day that he'd give it up for new years. he knew it was a mistake the second he said it, but he wasn't going to back down.

and it's easy enough for the first three days of 1987. steve sticks to his guns and only puts on the harrington charm for old mrs. hasslebeck who comes to rent a different fred astaire movie each morning. steve is genuinely proud of himself for not caving and even prouder when robin gawks at him in surprise when he doesn't have a date that upcoming friday.

then eddie munson has to ruin it all. eddie, with his big brown eyes that light up when he talks to steve about anything exciting, his hands flapping around animatedly. eddie, who keeps leaning up into his face with his pretty pretty smile, wide and bright, as he lays the pick up lines on thick.

it makes steve blush, his heart racing, frazzled little chuckles the only response he has when all he really wants to do is press back into eddie. to loop a finger into his belt loop to tug their bodies together with a smirk pulling at his cheeks. to tuck a stray curl behind eddie's ear and watch as it makes him blush in a way that matches steve's.

but he has robin whispering in his ear, like a tiny angel or devil on his shoulder, reminding him of his resolution. so steve grits his teeth and puts up with it all, the looks and lines and touches. he files them all away in the back of his mind and counts down the days until it'll be 1988 and he can give in to his wants and desires and finally flirt back.

if he's being honest with himself, steve made it further than he expected.

it's june and the sun is making it miserably hot in hawkins. the party's all over at his place, kids jumping into pool with cannonballs that splash nancy as she sunbathes and robin as she reads, and eddie's sitting next to steve because that's their new normal. their chairs are pushed close together and eddie's playing with a fraying end of steve's chair's cushion.

eddie's fingers keep brushing over the bit of exposed skin at the edge of steve's trunks and it's driving him insane. he's doing his eddie-typical move where he's leaning in just enough to have his breath tickling steve's face as he tell him teasingly cute things over and over. calling him things like stevie and honey and darling in that sticky sweet drawl that steve loves. letting his eyes linger on steve's lips before flicking them back up, looking at steve with adoration and a hint of mischief.

and he can't help it, okay? not when eddie's looking at him like that. he can't take it anymore.

"you gotta stop doing that, man." steve watches as hurt and confusion flashes across eddie's face before settling into something blank. eddie leans back and crosses his arms over his chest, looking anywhere but steve.

"shit, i didn't mean-" steve starts floundering. eddie's eyes make their way back to his and he feels like he's pleading to get his point across. "i can't."

eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes before leveling steve with a sad smirk, closed off and scared. "i get it harrington. sorry i came on too strong. hint taken."

"no it's not- it's not that."

eddie perks up ever so slightly, his fingers tensing over his own bicep as he resettles in his chair. "then what's the issue?"

steve can't help the blush that crawls up his neck, hopes he can blame it on the hot june sun instead of how he's thinking about eddie's fingers brushing against his thigh just a minute earlier. he brings a hand up to scrub down his face before letting out an exasperated sigh.

"i want," his voice is low enough that only eddie can hear him, "to flirt back so badly, you have no idea. but i can't 'cause i told myself that i'd stop and that '87 would be the year that i didn't flirt with everyone just because it was fun, made it my resolution and everything. but god, eddie. you have no idea how hard that is around you."

and then eddie's laughing. it's loud and sharp, which startles steve into laughing along with him. they're bent over, clutching their sides and the kids and nancy and robin are paying them no mind as eddie slings his arms around steve's neck to drag him into a kiss.

it's messy, teeth clacking and noses bending awkwardly and they're both still laughing which makes it even worse. or better, however one would look at that. steve pulls aways and keeps his hands wrapped tightly around eddie's forearms as he looks at his still smiling face.

"okay, wow. hi?"

"steve."

"yes?"

"we are so stupid." eddie darts in, presses another quick kiss to steve's lips and pulls away just as quickly. "it was my resolution to try and not run away from everything. you know, the scary stuff."

steve's smile is crinkling his cheeks as he furrows his brows to look at eddie. "am i... scary?"

"terrifying."

they push their chairs even closer after that. they wrap their arms around each other and have toes pressing into calves and whisper cheesy pick up lines into each other's ears, ones that steve's been saving up for months. and when robin looks over with a shit-eating grin like she won a bet, steve has no problem untangling his fingers from where their entwined with eddie's to flip her the bird.

[drewharrisonwriter]

Donor

Part 1 | Part 1.5 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Pairings: Bestie Henry Cavill x OFC A/N, Warnings: 18+, Talk of artificial insemination, peeing in a cup, sperm, and more. LOL I wrote this in an hour, IDK where I pulled this from. Not beta-ed. Also, I'm pretty sure this doesn't make so much sense in terms of plot, and being realistic. But come on, let this delulu queen live her life. You're welcome to join. Summary: You ask (beg) your best friend, Henry to donate--sperm.

I’m AO3, too as MoonDjarin ^_^

“Hank, pleaaaase…” You pleaded, dragging the last word. Henry laughed at your frustration but still could not wrap his head around what you’re asking of him.

“You’re going insane.” He jokes, causing you to drop your back on the carpet with a soft thud, covering your face with your palms as you landed.

“It’s just like peeing in a cup.” Your reply came out muffled. Henry just snorted and tried his best to stifle a laugh.

Nearly 18 years of friendship and here you are, seemingly at the end of your rope, asking your best friend to father the child you so ache for and he laughs at your ridiculous solution, telling you he’s not going to be responsible for a “turkey baster baby”.

“I don’t like peeing in a cup. Besides, why go the turkey baster way when you can go… au naturelle?”

“You know exactly why…” You said, sitting up, and gathering the profiles of sperm donors from the (sperm) bank. You and Henry had been going through each profile over the past few hours, laughing and making faces at the notes.

“And I thought Tinder was bad.” He commented earlier.

Henry got up and took the bottles of beer on the coffee table and walked back to the kitchen to open new ones.

“Tell me why won’t you do it?” You asked him, eyes round and glazed with tears that are threatening to fall any second.

He hates seeing you like this.

He sighed and admitted, “If I were to have any children of my own, I’d rather have them borne out of love and not out of… desperation after a really bad break up.”

“But I’m not asking you to be… a father. Just a donor.” You countered.

"Darling, please. Reaaally think about what you're asking of me."

"I have! I wouldn't be asking you if I haven't. Come on, Hank..."

"Right, not more than an hour after dropping sperm bank Tinder and you've thought this through." He said sarcastically and you pouted.

"Well, think about it, too!" You asked of him. "It's the ideal situation."

"How? Tell me exactly why it's so ideal." He said, running a hand through his face and resting his chin on his palm as he waited for your brilliant idea.

"Well, first of all, we love each other. So the child won't be borne not out of love." You began, mocking his accent and his statement from earlier. He snickered and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Jesus," He muttered.

"Plus, I won't ask you for anything, Hank. No child support, no emotional support. You don't have to see them. You're not even going to be on the birth certificate."

Henry winced at each of your points. "Darling, you know so well that I'm always your emotional support. And d'you really think I can go around just being Uncle Hank?” He replied with an eye roll as he took a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, how hard could that be?" You exclaimed.

"Very." He said sternly, looking you straight in the eye.

"Y/N." He began. "You know so well I won't be able to sit here with you holding a child knowing it's mine and not be involved in all ways."

“God, you’re too emotional.” You rolled your eyes at his response as you drank from your beer bottle.

“I am! And I’m sorry, darling. I can’t just give away my children. They’re not the meals you make for me every week.”

You laughed at that. "So you admit it, you don't like the meals I prep for you?"

"That's beside the point."

You'll get back to that later. You sighed out loud as you both drank.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Why do you desperately want this?”

That ought to get you thinking hard.

You sighed and asked yourself the same thing, reflecting on what started this vision of yourself with a child, and what turned it to longing and aching, then desperation.

Growing up without present parents, you basically become an extended Cavill sibling. The sister they never had, or as the youngest Cavill, Charlie, would like to joke, the no-choice sister. That family took you in like their own kin, having you over for dinner almost every evening, and spending weekends and vacations with them.

It's not that you're not well off, financially. Your parents were just really successful actors who don't pay you much any attention but showers you with plenty of lavish gifts and an American Express Black card. Which, Henry's mother found really heartbreaking and his father pitied you on.

You were 15 when you met Henry. He was already a budding actor with a couple of productions and a movie or two in his portfolio. You were a bright and young singer-songwriter from Italy, about to break it into the English-language audience with a catchy single that Henry happened to star in the music video of.

It was easy falling into a friendship with Henry. He was kind, funny, a little nerdy, but he's also such a gentleman, and treats you and talks to you like an equal despite the five-year age gap.

It didn't take long before you met his family when he invited to his birthday party. You didn't know exactly how the events played out that day, but somehow, at the end of it all, you walked out of their home being a part of it.

You got along so well with his brothers, you and his mother already sharing secrets. You figured she was excited to have a girl in the house as none of her children would bring their girlfriends for them to meet. His father was so easy to please, a couple of jokes here and a few football arguments there, and you won his heart. Not like you were even trying, but you were glad that you got along with all of them.

Henry drove you home that night and when he parked in your empty driveway, he jumped out to open the door for you. You cried in the passenger seat with the door open and he stood there, leaning on the doorframe as you confessed to him your jealousy and longing for that kind of family.

He pulled you in and wrapped you in a tight hug beneath the street lamp.

"Hank, you know so well there is nothing I want more in life at this moment than to have a family."

"I don't get it, Y/N." He said quietly, "You're definitely the smartest person I know. You're a literal genius..." He thought of your first few conversations on the set of your first English-language music video, and learning that not only you spoke several languages fluently, but you are also about to start university at such an early age. It impressed him so much.

"You've accomplished so much in your career, you're still young, there are so many things you can do with your life, why do you go back to this?" He asked and you just shrugged.

"I feel incomplete. What can I say? A dream is a dream."

"Gerry was a dream, too." He said and you looked at him surprised at bringing up your ex fiancé.

He was indeed a dream. You met Gerry at an evening talk show as a fellow guest. He didn't hide the fact that he was so enamored by you and that he's such a big fan of your music. You, being a fan of him, too, was just so happy to hear him say all that in person.

It was an instant connection, and it didn't take long for you and Gerry to start a long, and at the time, seemingly, lasting and perfect relationship.

"Sorry." He muttered. "But it makes me wonder, you never talked about it, just casually said that things didn't work out. Knowing you, things don't just not work out like that."

And he's right, you know he's right.

Gerry loves you a lot. You love him, too. But for all the years you've been together with the high-profile action star, the talk of kids almost never came up, at least the serious talk about kids. Until you brought it up soon after he proposed, and he confessed that he had a vasectomy shortly before you met.

You were not mad. You understood, vasectomies are reversible. But Gerry didn't want to have it reversed, ever. He admitted that the reason he got it in the first place was to not accidentally have kids as he fully intended to be childless.

You understood that, too. But it broke your heart.

Regardless, you had a clean break up, but never felt the need to tell people, even your friends or family as to why. Just that things didn't work out.

"Gerry didn't want to start a family." You told Henry.

"What?" He asked, surprised. His brows furrowed and his mouth hung slightly open at your revelation. You just nodded.

"I don't understand, you were to be married." You just nodded again, and took a sip of your beer. You told him the truth about Gerry, and Henry felt his heart breaking for you.

Henry reached for your hand from across the coffee table, enveloping your tiny hands in his big ones.

"And that's a deal breaker for you." He said softly, coming to the realization.

"Yeah." You replied. "So... there you go."

"But you know what comes after the last one, right?"

"What?"

"The next one." He joked, trying to make the air in the room lighter. He smiled at his success when you snickered.

"I'm tired, Hank. Tired of getting to know new people. I've been with Gerry for four years, and before that... well you know." It was Henry's turn to snicker.

He knows so well. All the heartbreaks, disappointments, even the rebounds, met most of them. He was always there at your highest of highs, and always down with you when things didn't work out.

"I get that." He finally answered, thinking about his own strings of ex girlfriends, and an ex-fiancé. At one point, you both feel very proud of the situation you found yourselves in, both engaged to beautiful people at the same time.

You even toasted to it last New Year's eve, not knowing that both promises of a lifetime of love would fall apart in a matter of months. He, too, wanted what you wanted. A family of his own, being the only one amongst his brothers to be single and childless.

He thought he might have had that with his ex fiance. Telling him she was pregnant when she caught a whiff of him about to break things off. He was caught off guard when she told him and he didn't even waste a moment to put a ring on her finger, falling for her lies.

Maybe it was not so bad, making your dream come true. You can always discuss co-parenting, he thought and he's sure you'd allow it.

He pondered on it some more.

Henry rested his head on the cool glass top of the coffee table, his hand never left yours. He let out a breath, fogging the glass beneath him as he gently squeezed your hand.

He shut his eyes tight, and muttered to himself, "Please don't make me regret this."

"What?" You asked, not quite hearing what he said.

"Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, I'll do it. I'll--be your turkey baster baby's donor."

With that you burst out crying and he stood up, took your hand and guided you to his arms. He wrapped you up in that big, warm hug, that you always find comfort in.

"Set an appointment in the morning, darling." He whispered and you cried some more and muttered a yes, thank you.

18 years of friendship with Henry Cavill, and this is where you find yourself: at a crossroads that neither of you could have predicted.

The weight of his decision settled between you like a tangible presence, and as you hugged each other tightly, you knew that this was a turning point in your relationship, an uncharted territory.

Read next part: Part 1.5 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[gaywalker80085]

Flat pt 3

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

Genre: smut 18+, angst, fluff

Summary: You think this relationship could actually go somewhere. What happens when Natasha finds out the full truth of what you do for work and what it entails

Warnings: top!reader, bottom!Natasha, angry/make-up sex, Strap-on (r giving), oral (r giving), drinking, guns, and arguing (don't worry Alana is not affected I made it so she's away during the conflict.)

A/N: Hey sorry it took so long for this to be put out I just wasn't in the mood to write whenever I had time. Unless there are requests put in this is the end of the Flat series. I hope y'all like it I know part 2 was kinda dry but I needed it to get from part 1 to here without any big plot holes (hopefully no big plot holes at least). But I hope you like it. Also not proof read because who has the time.

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Side part

Your week taking Alana to school had gone without a hitch. You were twice as careful to not be late and y'all had fun over the week. She went to her dad's on Friday to go on a week-long vacation with him.

It's now Sunday, you and Natasha are going on a date to a nice restaurant that you happen to own but she doesn't know that. You both decided to dress up for the fun of it.

The date is at 7 and it's currently 4 and you're panicking but luckily Wanda has come over to help you. "You're taking her to a restaurant you own. Damn, that's cheap." She says to you and you roll your eyes before looking at her. "Oh shut up, she chose it I just got lucky. Plus at least I know I like the food."

"Well, what are you going to wear? You only have a little under 3 hours you know." She tells you and you whip your head towards her and start pacing "I don't even know. What if I wear something and she thinks it's absolutely atrocious." You say starting to get even more worried.

In the midst of your panic, you didn't notice Wanda getting up until she places her hands on both of your shoulders. "Y/N it's fine I will help you. What color is she wearing, do you know?" You nod your head before telling her. "Red," Wanda smirks at you and turns to start fishing through your closet.

She emerges with a black button-up with red on the inside, black pants, and dress shoes. "She will definitely like this one. Why haven't you worn this before?" She asks you. "Uh, I didn't know I owned that." You say genuinely clueless to how that got into your closet.

"Well besides that start putting it on." She says walking over to where you keep your accessories and jewelry. You got dressed and as you were putting your shoes on she came over with a silver chain and a few rings. You put them on and stand up.

"Okay, so you're dressed. What about that rat's nest head of hair you've got going on?" She says with a raised eyebrow pointing at your head. "What do you mean rats nest I don't even have any knots. You're just a hater." You say going to get your product.

You spray your head (I have hair milk but you can pretend to apply whatever you like) and move your hair around to your liking before turning back to Wanda. "So?" You ask. "Good but let me see." She says pushing your hair around a little bit. "Okay better." She says and you turn back to look into the mirror. "It looks the same." "Yeah but better because I touched it." She says and you roll your eyes.

You spray yourself with cologne and head out the door leaving Wanda in your house to leave when she pleases. You decide to drive your dodge charger today because why not. On your way to Natashas, you don't forget to grab flowers obviously.

You pull up and walk up to Natasha's door. You feel nervous even though you've been on multiple dates before and you literally stayed at her house for a week. She just has that effect. You raise your hand to knock on the door and it swings open.

Natasha is wearing black heels and a red dress that stops just above her knees and also has a low neckline. You seem to be appreciated that low neckline for a little too long because Natasha reaches her hand out under your chin to lift your head up. You see her smirking and muster out a quiet "Hi baby."

You stand there for another few seconds before pulling yourself together. You stand up straighter and extend your arm to hand her the flowers. She takes them before turning around and walking inside with you close behind her. "You have to stop bringing me flowers I have too many." She says as she puts them into a vase that already has some.

"What do you want me to buy you instead then?" You ask her as she rounds the kitchen island towards you and wraps her arms around your neck. "Mmmm, I don't know you don't have to buy me anything you already refuse to let me pay when we go out." You place your hands on her waist pulling her even closer to you.

"Yeah but I like buying you things." You say trying to put on a pout even though yours will never be as good as hers. She brings one of her hands to the side of your face pulling you down towards her lips before just barely touching them together. Right, when you start to close the gap she pulls away and pats your chest. "Let's go we can't miss our reservation."

She turns towards the door grabbing her jacket on the way out and you jog a little to catch up with her. Once you do you grab her hand leading her towards your car. Once you get there you open her door as per usual. "Always such a gentleman." She says and you smile looking away to hide the redness creeping up your face.

You get in the car with Natasha control the music and start driving. You get to your restaurant and walk-in holding Natasha's hand. The second the hostess sees you she waves you over and takes yall to a private room.

After she leaves Natasha looks at you "You didn't have to get a private room you spend too much money on me." Before you can respond the waiter comes in "Oh hey Ms. Y/L/N what can I get you." Natasha looks at you with a raised eyebrow. "Vodka and juice." You say "I'll have an orange crush." Natasha says sending him a smile.

"Oh yeah, I actually needed to ask you about some time off." He says and your breath catches. Before you could pass as being a regular but now there really is no other explanation than you being the boss. "When and why?" You say as calmly as you can muster. "August 10th through the 18th for a family vacation." He says noticing he shouldn't have brought this up now. "If you can find someone to cover you then yes." You say and He smiles before walking away.

You all of a sudden feel Natasha kick you in the leg. "Why didn't you tell me you owned a restaurant? More importantly, the one we're eating at." She says glaring at you. "Uh, I don't know I didn't think it was very interesting." You say not meeting her eyes. She can tell that's not all but she doesn't push it for now.

You both order and receive your meals. You both talk the whole time about random subjects laughing. "So when are we going back to my house?" She asks you running her foot up your leg. "Whenever you want." You say with a smirk.

Just as you're about to stand up Bucky comes busting in the door. "They're here." He says before looking over to give Natasha a small wave. You throw your head back groaning "You're fucking joking." You say reaching for Natasha's hand. "Who's here?" She says scrunching her eyebrows, placing her hand in yours.

"Some.. unpleasant business associates." You tell her. You help her put her jacket on before grabbing her waist and giving her a quick kiss. "Can I have Bucky take you home and I'll meet you there after I'm done with this?" You ask her. She looks a little upset but nods. "Take her through the back. You don't let them see her." You tell Bucky sternly. "I know I know." He says throwing his hands up before grabbing Natasha's.

You end up having to fight Zemo and his crew along with some help from your men. The few left of them by the end started to run and you busted out the door after them. The only problem though was one of them waited for you to do that and shot you in the side near your hip.

Bucky came out after hearing the shot and saw you bleeding. He shot the guy running away before coming to your side. "Damn that looks like it hurts." He says with a smile. You give him a sarcastic smile before hitting him upside the head "Yeah you think." You say before starting to walk to your car.

You couldn't decide whether to go to your house or Natashas. You tried to tend to the wounds in your car. You try to stop the bleeding from your side and clean up some cuts on your face but you couldn't really tell if you did a sufficient job. Once you pull up to Natashas and hobble up to the door you find it unlocked. Your stomach is in your throat hoping she left it unlocked for you and it's not unlocked for other reasons.

When you walk in she's standing there glaring at you and you feel even more scared than before. "Hi, baby." You say trying to smile at her and make your hand on your hip look as natural as possible. "Don't 'baby' me what was that." She asks you stepping closer and you look at the ground. "Oh, it's fine just some people I don't get along with no big deal." Natasha doesn't respond so you look up at her. The second she sees the cuts on your face she walks all the way to you gently cradling it.

"What happened to your face? Come." She says grabbing your hand that was on your side. "You should see the other guy." You say. She leads you to the bathroom connected to her bedroom and makes you sit on the toilet. Sitting though doesn't seem to agree with your bullet wound and you try not to groan too loud at the pain.

Natasha grabs her first aid kit out from under her sink and that's when she notices the blood all over her hand. She holds her hand up putting the other on her hip "Where did this come from?" She asks and you stand up holding your breath to try and ease the pain. You walk up to her putting one of your hands on her face. "I'm fine baby really I can take care of this myself." You try to tell her. "Yeah no I'm not good with that now where did it come from?" She says again pushing you back towards the toilet.

You don't sit down and instead pull your shirt up to show her the wound. "YOU WERE TRYING TO HIDE A BULLET WOUND FROM ME?!" She yells at you. "It's just a flesh wound I'm fine." You say reaching for the first aid kit. "It's literally going through you. Turn." She says and you turn as told. "Lucky you, there's an exit hole. Now sit." She demands you.

"Aren't I usually the one telling you what you do after dates?" You say reaching for her waist and pulling her towards you. "Shut up." Is all she says before she looks away trying to hide her cheeks flushing. You reach up and bring her face down to yours. You softly kiss her rubbing her cheek with your thumb.

"Stop it I have to clean you up before you get an infection." She says trying to be as serious as possible. She starts softly cleaning and bandaging the wounds on your face. You stare at her the whole time thinking about how beautiful she looks when she concentrates. "Take a picture it'll last longer." She says trying to hide a smile."

Once she finishes your face she gets on her knees between your legs. Now you really can't stop staring and thinking about what's in your pants and how much you want to use it right about now. She unbuttons your shirt so she can get a better look. You bend down to try and kiss her but she pushes you away by your shoulder. "I'm still mad at you." She tells you with a hardened stare.

"I'm sorry I don't know what else you want me to say." You tell her reaching out to cup her cheek. "Nothing right now. Once I finish this you're going to bed." She tells you. "What why can't we deal with it right now?" You ask her. Instead of responding she starts putting a few stitches in the entry wound.

"OW. YOU COULDN'T HAVE WARNED ME?!" You exclaim gritting your teeth. She doesn't respond just pushing you so she can do the back. Once she's done she stands to start cleaning up and you come behind her wrapping your arms around her waist and placing your chin on her shoulder.

She straightens up crossing her arms and glaring at you through the mirror. "I'm sorry baby." You tell her softly. "Seems like that's the only thing you know how to say right now." She says before continuing to clean. "I don't know what else you want me to say. Tell me I'll say whatever you want."

When she's done picking up she turns to you and jabs her finger into your chest. "Why don't you 'say' how some 'unpleasant associates' showing up turns into you getting shot. Why don't you 'say' what you really do for work. Like really I have no idea what you do and we've been going out for months." She exclaims pushing you out of the way with her finger so she can leave the room.

"My job doesn't really have a title I just do what I do." You say and she turns to you throwing her hands in the air. "THEN WHAT DO YOU DO?" She says taking her dress off and you have to remind yourself now is not the time. "I have people that work for me and I own a lot of the city in some way. But sometimes people want some of my power in some way or some of my properties. People sometimes steal from me and I just deal with that. It's fine." You say and she turns to you in disbelief "You're a FUCKING CRIME BOSS?" She yells at you.

"Well, I wouldn't say that."

"THEN WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?"

"Well uh, maybe an entrepreneur."

"YOU KNEW HOW DANGEROUS YOUR JOB WAS AND YOU STILL CAME AROUND ME AND MY DAUGHTER?" She says walking till she's right in your face.

"Woah that's too far. You know I would never do anything that could put you or Allana in harm's way." You say starting to get angry that she would ever accuse you of such a thing.

"DO I KNOW THAT, BECAUSE I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING?" She says and you try to reach out for her but she pulls away hurting you more than you'd like to admit.

"First off you need to stop yelling. Second of course I would never put you in danger." You tell her to try and keep cool. "I WILL STOP YELLING WHEN YOU STOP LYING." She says walking past you, shoulder checking you in the process. "Natasha I never lied to you." You tell her following her into the bathroom.

She doesn't respond and instead starts brushing her teeth. You throw your hands in the air shaking your head and decide to get ready for bed. You take your clothes off until you're left in your boxers. You walk back to the bathroom to find her putting her toothbrush away so you start brushing your teeth.

You come out of the bathroom and she's standing there waiting for you. "You didn't lie but you left things out on purpose and that's just as bad." She says with her arms crossed. You walk until you're a foot apart and try to reach out for her but she pulls away again. "I'm sorry, I am it didn't even cross my mind at first, and then once it did I wanted to establish us a little more before I told you."

She turns around and starts to walk out of the bedroom. "Natasha." That is all you say before you start to follow after her. "Natasha, can you stop and just talk to me please." She stops dead in her tracks and turns to you with tears streaming down her face looking even angrier than before. "Can you just get out of my house please?"

You suddenly feel the full weight of the argument including the lump forming in your throat. A small "What?" Is all you can muster. She sternly says "Get out." Starting to push you towards the door. "Natasha please."

"Get out, get out, get out."

"Natasha."

"Get out, get out."

She just keeps saying it sobbing and the closer you get to the door the harder it is to keep the tears in. Once you're probably 10 feet from the door the tears come. She pauses for a second at the sight of your tears. You have a certain dad vibe that makes it extra sad to see you cry and she has to resist the urge to pull you towards her and rub your back.

You realize she probably won't change her mind about you leaving and if you stay you probably won't get much done considering all of the emotions. You drop your head and start walking to your car. Natasha watches you partially hoping you turn back around.

A few days pass and you haven't heard anything from Natasha but you also haven't contacted her. You have however picked up your phone around 100 times typing up messages you contemplate sending. You've obviously been in a slump barely keeping yourself alive without the help of Bucky. You're sitting there still sulking to yourself when your phone goes off. You grab it and your heart stops when you read who it's from. Natasha. "Come over at 6."

You immediately shoot up from your desk rushing to your house. You dress in a simple black short-sleeved shirt with black cargo pants that have a chain on the side. You stop to grab her a teddy bear on the way there not knowing what to get besides flowers.

When you arrive you knock softly on the door, the door opens and your head is hung low scared to face her. When she doesn't speak you look up "Hi baby." You say and she doesn't say anything turning around and walking away but leaving the door open.

"Uh, I got you this." You say walking up to her when she stops. You use the moment to take in her appearance. She's wearing your sweatshirt and some lounge shorts that you can barely tell are there. She reaches out and takes it looking at it instead of you. She wraps her arms around it and steps forwards pushing herself into you for you to hold her. "Why did you come?" She asks you catching you off guard. "Because you asked me to." You tell her confused and she's silent before pulling back to look at you.

"Why didn't you text me?" She asks you. "I didn't know if you'd want to hear from me." You tell her softly and she looks down, eyes brimming with tears. "You should've texted me anyways." She tells you furrowing her eyebrows and trying to keep the tears in. "I'm sorry baby." Is all you can think to say. "I know who you are. Fully." She says backing up.

"Baby." "No, why didn't you tell me. The true reason." She asks you. You hang your head low because you know the answer and you know she knows. "I've done things okay, and I do things but I'm not a bad person." You try to explain "I didn't ask for excuses about why I asked why." She says jabbing your chest with her finger. "Because I hurt people." You say still not looking at her. "Do you even care about me and my daughter or were you going to kill us too if I broke up with you."

"What, Natasha no I would never hurt either of you." You try to plead meeting her eyes and reaching out for her, grabbing her hand. "Well, how do I know that since I apparently know nothing about you." "Baby you have to believe me-" "No I don't because I don't trust you anymore. I don't know why I did I know better than that" She says pushing her finger into your chest harder. "I wanted to tell you I swear I was just scared, and those people are all criminals who have done far worse than me."

"The bottom line is you're violent. You've brought your violence and the people associated with it into my home, around my daughter." She says looking into your eyes like she wants you to drop dead, tears starting to stream down her face. "But that doesn't matter to you does it because you don't care." "No, baby-"

"WHY DO YOU STICK AROUND IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME." "Natasha what I-." "AM I JUST TOO GOOD OF A HOOKUP TO PASS ON?" "Natasha" "IS THAT WHAT I AM TO YOU?" "NATASHA" At that she bursts into harder tears and throws herself into you.

You immediately wrap your arms around her holding her tight. "I just wanted you to care about me." That is all she says before pulling away and you don't know what to do. "Natasha I do care about you." "Really it doesn't seem like it." That is all she says still walking away.

"Yeah, I do I don't understand how that's so hard to grasp."

"Maybe because you've been indirectly lying to me about being a murderer for months and that's not really what people that care do."

"I did that because I was scared of losing you and I'm not just some serial killer it comes with the job," You say sternly.

"What about my daughter?"

"What?"

"WHAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER? YOU JUST PUT HER IN HARMS WAY. YOU KNOW I'M A MOM RIGHT. YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS AFFECTS HER TOO. IF YOU CARED ABOUT HER OR ME YOU WOULD'VE AT LEAST TOLD ME FOR HER."

"I DO CARE. OF COURSE, I CARE I LOVE HER, I LOVE YOU. IF I WAS AN ACTUAL DANGER I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH YOU BUT IT'S NOT I HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL."

Natasha just stands in front of you before rushing at you and pulling you into a searing kiss. You wrap your arms as tightly around her as you can. She starts to untuck your shirt from your pants but you quickly grab her wrists "Natasha I don't know you're really upset right now." She brings her hands to your face holding your face just over hers. "Do you want me?" She asks her eyes boring into yours. "Natasha." You say trying to hold your resolve. "Do you." She says not breaking eye contact. You nod and whisper "Always."

She moves to leave open-mouthed kisses along the side of your neck. She gets your shirt untucked and touches your stomach with her cold hand making the muscles beneath it twitch. Noticing you're still holding back she grips your jaw pulling you to face her. "Fuck me. Now." She demands you and you can't help crashing your lips against hers.

You quickly wrap your hands under her thighs and lift her not patient enough to wait for her to jump. Your tongues fight for dominance with you coming out on top. You walk to her bedroom pushing her against the door. She drags her nails through your hair and down your neck.

You wrap your hand around her throat pushing her harder against the door. She lets out a moan followed by a whine trying to push her head forwards to continue kissing you. You move to her neck to leave open-mouth kisses along with it. "Mark me." She says making you falter. She takes the opportunity to grab you by the jaw and pulls you to look into your eyes. "And fuck me like you mean it while you're at it." She says rolling her hips and your self-control is completely broken.

You move quickly and start leaving dark marks along her throat, chest, and shoulders. She rolls her hips against you when she feels your piece. She starts grinding down hard searching for the friction she desires. You pull away from the door and start walking towards the bed.

You throw her down on the bed before you crawl up to her and place one of your knees between her legs pushing it into her core. She lets out a moan quickly starting to grind down. The second your head is level with hers she grabs your head to pull you back down into a heated kiss. Despite being caught in the moment you still know in the back of your mind that Natasha has every right to hate you and to tell you to get out right now so you decide teasing her isn't worth it.

You move to start kissing her neck again but after the first kiss, she's already impatient. "Y/N." "Yes, baby?" you ask snaking your hands up the inside of her sweatshirt as she squirmed trying to get away from your cold hands. "Please." She begs and you waste no time getting to work.

Later in the night you Natasha has fallen asleep but you can't seem to follow. You were deflecting earlier you really did put them into harms way and you can't stop from hating yourself for it. You can't decide if you could ever truly keep them safe from who you are. The monster you are.

You decide it's best for them to be kept as far away from the danger as possible. As far away from you as possible.

You quietly gather your things before writing Natasha a note and placing it on the nightstand. You lean down to give Natasha a kiss for the last time and kiss her on the forehead.

"I'm sorry." Is all you whisper before turning to walk out the door.

Taglist: @winterstorm311 @rice-wiife @lost-mortemanghel @r3dheadenthusiast @cd-4848 @diaryoflife

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Side part

[justlemmeadoreyou]

love, love, love your work.

could you maybe write a piece where it's harry that's a bit insecure because the reader wants to keep their relationship very private and not tell people about it?

and i love love love you!! thank you for reading my work and sending this request! ❤️

Insecure

pairing: boyfriend!harry x reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: kissing, fluff, a bit of dirty talk

my masterlist! | ask box

"Just 10 more minutes, please, H?" you pouted, snaking your arms tightly around his chest, to try and keep him in bed. Unfortunately, he had an interview to go to.

"Y/n, baby, you know I have to leave soon. And I haven't even taken a bath."

"So leave without taking a bath. You smell so good anyways" you slid up and kissed his pecs, looking up at him with doe eyes.

"That's it. I'm getting out." he gently picked up your arms and kept it on the bedding beneath, and quickly jumped off the bed.

"Nooo" you whined, and crossed your arms over your chest.

"Okay. If I hadn't gotten out, you would've found another way to make me stay." He bent over and picked up his clothes, strewn across the floor from the night before.

"Nice ass" you remarked, making one last attempt at making him stay.

"Not gonna work" he replied, and finally picking up his clothes. He made his way to the bathroom, and closed the door.

You sighed, and slumped back on the bed, pulling the blanket to cover your body, you closed your eyes, waiting for him to come back.

He came back about half an hour later, and you'd already fallen back to sleep. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he slowly made his way over to your sleeping form, and climbed on the bed. He leaned over, and shook his wet hair over your face.

The tiny water droplets showered on your face, and you immediately pushed him away, and he fell on the bed. He started to laugh hysterically, holding his stomach.

"Not funny" you said, wiping off the water. Giving him an angry look, you turned to the other side.

"Hey, I was just playing."

"Sure you were"

"So listen, how about we go to dinner after I come back? You be ready and I'll pick you up?"

"Oh…"

"Think about it, text me before 4. We'll go to that fancy italian place y’like.”

“But-there'll be paparazzi, right?”

“Yeah. Obviously” he chuckled “So?”

“I don’t know, Harry, it’s just–I don’t want people to know yet, like, officially.”

He frowned, his heart sinking a bit.”But there's already pictures of us outside the gym from last week-and that actually means something, right? And, we both wear promise rings. One close up and they’ll figure it out” he said, pulling up his pants he had laid out the night before.

“Yeah, but that’s kinda–different? I don't know. Going to gym together dosen’t really do what going to dinner together does. Please, Harry?”

“Mmm, okay.” he buttoned up his shirt, and pulled on a loose cardigan, and went into the closet to choose footwear.

“So, that would mean I have to say I’m single when they ask me that today?”

You thought, and felt a bit sad. You wanted to go to the tallest building in the world and yell, “I’m dating Harry Styles, bitches!”. But, you couldn’t. At least, not yet.

“Yes?” you murmured, hoping Harry would hear. You also hoped he wouldn’t be sad, or feel bad.

“Yeah, alright.” He walked out wearing white vans, that complemented his blue jeans.

“How do I look?”

“Great” you replied.

“Quick, give me a hug and a kiss before I leave” he walked to the corner of the bed, while you peeled yourself off, and walked on your knees to the edge, the blanket still draped over your body.

He leaned down and kissed you, and you snaked his arms around his neck. He pulled away quickly, and put your back down. He smiled, turning back and waving at you as he left.

As soon as he got out of the room, his sile turned into a frown. He sighed, as the guilt and sadness took over him. Why did you not want anyone to know? Like, both of your friends knew, and people would find out eventually, but still.

Why?

He respected your decision, and would never go against it. He wouldn’t tell people till you were ready. But, what if you won’t be ready? Ever?

Taking his shades and keys, he left the house.

. . .

The interview went great, as he had expected. Better, actually. Whenever he was asked a question about a significant other, he brushed it off charmingly, and thankfully, they didn’t ask any more nosy or follow up questions. He loved interviewers like that.

On his drive back to his shared home with his “girlfriend”, his mind was clouded with thoughts. Why did you not want anyone to know? Were you ashamed? Did you not want your family to know, so they wouldn’t judge you? Maybe your parents didn’t approve you dating a famous person? Maybe you didn’t want to be seen with him like that? Was he that bad?

These things, and some much worse clouded his mind, against his better judgement. Harry wasn’t perfect per-se, but he tried. He knew he could be a bit too much at times, but he worked on that.

Turning over to the last turn towards your house, he took deep breaths, and wiped a few tears off his cheek with the back of his cardigan. He stayed in the car for a few minutes, to let the rednes in his eyes and sadness on his face fade away.

Walking up the path to the main door, he didn’t want to go inside. If you didn’t want to be seen with him, why were you even with him in the first place?

He rung the doorbell, and felt the patter of feet of you making your way to the dor. The door clicked open, and then there you were, with a the soft, glowy face and a lovely smile, holding a spatula. he took a step in, and leaned in to kiss you. You held his neck with the other hand and kissed him back. He snuck an arm around your waist, as the other one closed the door shut behind him.

The kiss wan’t just a quick peck, and you wanted more. Your hand travelled up from his neck to his hair, gently tugging at it. Harry released a filthy moan into your hot mouth, and that was it for both of you. You dropped the spatula on the floor and held onto his shoulders, as he gripped your hips and lifted your up. Your legs wrapped around his waist, he made his way to your bedroom.

“You smell so fucking good” you said, peppering kisses over his cheek. Travelling down to his neck, where you bit his earlobe and kissed his neck. Harry was getting impatient, and he quickly jogged the last few steps, finally reaching your bedroom.

He went straight to your shared bed, throwing you into the centre. You fell with a soft thud, your hair bouncing and framing your little face perfectly. He climbed on the bed too, hovering over your body. Your lips intertwined again, but this time, it was hot tongues and moans into each other's mouths.

Harry wrapped his hand around your throat, and pushed you down. His tongue made its way into your mouth, tasting you. You moaned, as his tongue glided with yours. You had been impatient since the morning, and he was finally giving you what you wanted,

His hand travelled down, pulling the loose string of your sweats. You lifted your hips up, and he slid them off your legs, throwing them away. He was still so much fully dressed, and you wanted to get him naked. Touch his chest and pepper kisses all over it.

You pushed him off to the side, and quickly climbed on him, perching your hips on his waist. You could see his jeans thickening, and you pulled off the cardigan, throwing it on the bed.

Harry wanted to do this. To have sex with you. Eat you out. But, his mind wasn’t letting him. He still kept thinking everything he was while driving, and if he didn’t talk to you about it soon, he would go mad.

He grabbed your wrists when you tried to unbutton his shirt. He sat up, holding your waist so you wouldn’t topple over. Your eyes widened at the sudden halt, and you gave him a confused look.

“H-what–?”

“Can we talk?”

“Right now?” you saw the look on his face. He looked desperate, and…sad. “Okay. What happened? Tell me.” you held his hand in yours, gently kissing his knuckles.

“It’s just–I keep thinking about why you-you don’t want to tell everyone we are dating. It’s driving me mad. Is it me? Am I not worth telling everybody? Is there something wrong with me?”

Your heart broke into a million pieces when he said that. He looked so sad and broken, because of you.

“What? No! Jesus! Harry, why would you even think tha?”

“I’m sorry. This-nobody has ever asked me to keep our relationship a secret and I–I can’t just stomach it. I need to know why?”

“Hey, don’t apologise. Alright? It’s not your fault. “

“Then why?”

“Ok. Here it goes. The reason why I don’t want to tell everyone yet is because-It’s probably stupid.” you slumped, now feeling embarrassed at your reason for all this.

“No, it’s not. Tell me.”

“It’s me. I just think that I can’t compare to anyone–literally anyone you’ve dated before, and it makes me really sad. And when everyone–your fans, your family–they find out, they will think low of me, and that you are probably doing me a favour by dating me. And I know it’s hella stupid, but I am not ready for all the judgement and comments and paps and–”

“Hey! It’s okay. Don’t panic. And I get you, okay. Dating someone like me can be a bit…overwhelming? at times. I am so used to everything that I just don’t realise that you could feel burdened by everthing. And I know how my fans can get sometimes. I love them, more than anything in the world. It’s just–they get defensive and often judge-y of the person I date.”

“I know! And I’m sorry if I made you feel bad about yourself.”

“No, it’s okay. I just wished you could’ve talked to me about it sooner. And hey, don’t ever feel like you’re not enough. There’s a reason why I’m not dating anyone else but you. I love you and I want to be with you. And don’t worry about my family. They are great people. They don’t judge the people I date. They are really, really good people.” he lifted your hands with his, kissing your hand and knuckles, like you had kissed his.

Your eyes were wide, and your mouth fell open. It was the first time he had said I love you.

“What–happened?” he asked, a bit concerned.

“You–you love me?” you replied, eyes welling up with tears.

Now, his face mirrored yours.

“I–I don’t-I didn’t–You don’t have to say it back.”

“Of course I do. I love you too, H.” a tear rolled down your eyes, and you quickly got up and kissed him.

He kissed you back, wiping the tear off your cheek.

“I love you so much. So, so much.” you told him, kissing both his cheeks.

“I love you too, baby. And we don’t have to tell people if you don’t want to. We will, whenever you are ready.”

“Thank you. You are the best. I don’t deserve you” you turned, sitting down on his lap.

“Sure you do. Now, what are we eating tonight? I’m hungry.”

“I made pasta. The spatula—I threw it on the door” you laughed, and he started to laugh with you.

“God.” he shook his head, and you looked up at him.

“C’mon, get up. I need to freshen up.”

“But this–” you looked down between your thighs, where your panties had soaked through from your activities earlier.

“What? Oh! My baby got wet, didn’t she?” you nodded, looking at him with doe eyes, hoping he’ll do something.

“Well, you’ll have to wait till after dinner. Then, I’ll carry you back here like I did before. Lay you down sweetly on the bed. Then spread those pretty thighs of yours, and eat your pretty pussy out. Till you’re begging me to stop. The, I’ll fuck you, and make you look into my eyes, while I tell you how perfect you are. And I that I love you, every time you come around my cock.”

You pressed your thighs together, while he described everything he was going to do to you.

“You’re not helping”

“Wasn’t planning on, love”

. . .

might do a part 2!! 😚

if you like it, please like and reblog!! any feedback is much, much appreciated!!

taglist:

@freedomfireflies @gurugirl @thechaoticjoy @styleslover-1994 @gem1712 @ellaorchard @bxbyysstuff @opheliaofficial07 @rafaaoli @tchlamqtsgf @the-mouse27 @indierockgirrlrl @vrittivsanghavi @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @drewrry

let me know if you wanna be added or removed!!!

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Here In Your Arms: Charles LecLerc

Formula One Masterlist

word count: 700

prompts used: Tell me about your day baby, let me make it better + You're home early! featuring Character B shuffling into Character A's arms

a/n: had a stressful few days at work and wished that someone could've taken care of me :(

You were absolutely exhausted by the time you reached home, you were supposed to be let off nearly an hour and half ago but had to stay because some needed to go home more than you apparently. This was still early considering when you normally got off work but when you've been at work since 7 this morning and told that you were getting off at 4:30 only not to get off until 5:20, you would be exhausted and ready to climb into bed. You quietly grabbed your bags, and walked up to your house, where you opened the door and walked in dropping your bags by the door. 

"Hey baby, you're home early!" Your boyfriend Charles said. 

You didn't said anything but instead quietly made your way into his arms and let out a huge sigh as you felt him wrap his arms around you. He gently rocked you guys for a few minutes as he rubbed your back trying to help ease some of the stress off your body. 

"Tell me about your day baby, let me make it better." He said. 

"It was exhausting we were short staffed which isn't shocking, corporate came today, three kids got sick which reminds me I shouldn't even be touching you, and I got yelled at for sitting so my feet are killing me and let's not forget I was supposed to get off at 4:30 and didn't get off until 5:30 because apparently others needed to go home more than me." You said running a hand through your hair. 

"I'm sorry that happened baby, why don't you take a seat on the couch while I draw up a bath for you to help relax your muscles? And once you are nice and relaxed we can order some takeout and watch a movie or something if you would like that?" He asked me. 

"I would love that but first I need a kiss or two." I said looking at him with a smile. 

"I can happily help with that." He said with a smile as he placed a few kisses on my lips and then all over my face making me giggle. 

"There's that beautiful laugh. Take a seat on the couch and rest your feet while I draw you a baby, okay?" He asked as you nodded your head. 

A few minutes later, he came back and picked you bridal style refusing to let you be on your feet any longer today and carried you to the bathroom. He set you gently on your feet, helping your undress and helping you into the tub. 

"Take your time and relax baby, I'll be here when you are done." He said to you. 

"Actually bubs, do you think you could stay here in with me and tell me about your day?" You asked looking up at him.

"Of course I can baby." He said taking a seat by the tub and telling you all about his day. 

After about thirty minutes you were relaxed and ready to get and hungry as you and your boyfriend heard your stomach growling. He helped you out and dried you off before letting you get dressed before you guys made your way towards y'all's room. 

"Baby you know what sounds good?" You asked him. 

"What's that sweetheart?" He asked you. 

"Pizza." You said with a smile as you two took a seat on your bed. 

"I was hoping you say that." He said with a smile as a knock came to the front door. 

You watched as he disappeared out of y'all's room and then a few minutes later he returns with food from y'all's favorite pizza place. 

"I had a feeling that you might want pizza tonight. So while I was drawing your bath, I ordered our usual. I hope it's alright?" He asked taking a seat next to you on the bed and placing the food in front of you. 

"I love how you can read my mind, this is perfect. Thank you." You said leaning over and pressing a kiss to his lips. 

[zombiigrll]

FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR YOU. ⋆｡°✩ carl grimes x reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 3.7K (JESUS.) ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ angst + comfort (mostly angst), retelling of the walking dead 8x8 (so slight spoilers), use of y/n, reader death, blood, your regular zombie apocalypse warnings, cursing, kissing, mostly just sad stuff!! .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ i am SO SORRY for how INSANELY LONG this is. it took me like 3-4 hours to write oh my god. hope you guys enjoy anyhow though<3

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carl told you he was going on a run to find the man the two of you had spotted at the gas station. you begged to go, and eventually, he caved. the two of you had known each other since the start, being neighbors and all. you were in his house while you waited for lori to get ready to take the two of you to school, and thats when everything went down. with all of the things he saw you do, he knew you could take care of yourself.

...or he thought you could.

the two of you were lucky enough to find the man from the gas station and you found out his name was siddiq.

"i'm gonna ask you a few questions. i need you to answer honestly, okay?" carl told siddiq.

"..okay." siddiq nodded.

"how many walkers have you killed?" siddiq looks around, thinking. "i know it's hard to keep track-"

"237."

"really?" you raised an eyebrow, impressed, but skeptical.

"give or take a couple." siddiq shrugged.

carl nodded in response before continuing. "how many people have you killed?"

"one." the man averted his gaze to the ground.

"why?"

"the dead tried to kill him, but... they didn't." he explained, looking back up at the two of you.

"you've been making walker traps? is that how you've been killing all of them?" you asked, crossing your arms as you looked at the scenery of traps and the deceased walkers behind him.

"it's only part of it. my mom thought- or hoped- that killing them would free their souls. you know?" he clarified, seemingly upset but proud talking about his mother.

"doing that, doesn't that just make things harder for you while you're trying to survive?" carl inquired, furrowing his brows.

"i don't know.. i.. but you.. you gotta honor your parents, right?"

...

the three of you had been walking for a little while before you guys came across a couple walkers in the distance, crouching down near a tree.

"okay. for your mom." carl smiles and siddiq before facing you, signaling for you to join.

you grabbed your knife that was holstered across your waist, stepping forward alongside siddiq and carl. but shortly after, there was too many. at first it only seemed like a couple, enough for just the three of you to take care of quickly. but they began coming in from other sides of the forest, and you were cornered. you were stepping back to try and get more distance, but you twisted your ankle on a tree root, causing you to topple on top of the tree laying on the ground. the walkers began limping towards you as you looked frantically around for where your knife had went. but you were too late. two of the walkers were down on the ground, one on top of you and the other on your side. you tried your best to push the one over you with one of your hands while searching the ground for your knife with the other one.

*chomp!*

a pain rushed through your side, but you didn't think much of at that point due to feeling the handle of your knife, quickly picking it up and jamming it through the skull of the walker on your side, then into the one in front of you, pushing it off of you.

right as you did so, you were met with carl staring at you wide-eyed.

"oh my god, you're covered in blood." he ran over to you, crouching down next to you and grabbing your hand. "are- are you bit?"

he helped you up and you stared at the ground, then at your bloodied clothes. "...no. i'm okay."

you weren't okay. you knew what had happened to you, but.. you couldn't tell him. not now. you were lucky enough that your shirt had fallen over the bite when you stood up.

"are you sure? you don't feel anything at all?" he repeated his question, his hands on top of your shoulders while he looked at you with concern.

"i'm sure." you nodded, wiping your hands on your legs. "we should.. we should head back now."

carl sighs. "...okay."

you felt like shit.

...

the entire walk back, carl was extremely cautious of any walkers, hoping there wouldn't be another close call on the way.

"...i love you, carl. don't ever forget that." you said, you voice low and slightly shaken.

"i love you, too. are you okay?" he was surprised at your sudden comment, which proved to have made him a bit anxious.

"yeah, yeah. i just wanted to say i love you." you smiled quickly at him before looking back down at your feet as you continued walking. you could feel your ankle that you twisted earlier was pulsating, and you could feel the bite beginning to eat away at your body, but you tried your best to keep your composure. you wanted your final day with carl to be normal.

...

you guys got arrived at alexandria and you walked into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind you. you stared at yourself in the mirror, taking in everything that had just happened. you removed your jacket and lifted up your shirt to reveal the bite, which was still leaking with blood. you couldn't take your eyes off of it. you shook your head while tears began falling from your eyes, processing this whole situation.

"fuck." you let out a breathy laugh before taking your shirt completely off.

you grabbed some of the medical supplies from behind the mirror and put it over the bite so it wouldn't bleed through new clothes. you grabbed a clean shirt from the laundry basket behind you and put it on.

you wiped the tears from your eyes, cleaning up your appearance a bit more before exiting the bathroom.

"there you are. how're you doing?" carl sat up from the couch and walked over to you.

"oh, i'm doing fine." you smiled up at him, interlocking his hands with yours. "hey, do you know where that camera is?"

"camera?" his eyebrow raised as he tilted his head with curiosity.

"yeah, remember? the camera? i used to always use it to take photos of you and judith." you reminded him with a laugh.

"oh, the camera!" he joined the laugh. "it's in my room, i'll go get it." he began walking in the direction of his room swiftly, coming back with the camera in hand shortly after.

"thank you." you took the camera from his hands, quickly pointing it up and taking a photo of him.

"ah, hey!" he chuckled, covering part of his face.

you grabbed the photo from the camera before pulling him into a tight hug.

"hey.. wheres judith?" you inquired, your head buried in his neck.

"she's up in her room, why?"

"we should hangout with her." you broke from the hug with a smile, putting the camera into your bag before heading into the direction of her room, carl following shortly behind you.

you walked into her room and picked her up from her crib. "hey, jude." you spoke in a soft voice, holding her gently in your arms. carl smiled at your actions. he's always had a soft spot for you and judith.

you began walking outside with judith in your arms and carl following by your side. you sit down on the steps of the porch, setting judith down in between you and carl. you dig into your bag and pull the camera out again, holding it up and taking a picture of the three of you.

you take the photo from the camera, moving it down to judith so she can see. as carl looked down at the photo that was forming, he notices how shaky your hands are.

"hey, your hands are shaking.." he points out, putting his hand over yours.

"oh, hah.. i'm okay. i don't know why i'm shaking so bad." you shrugged it off nervously, setting the photo in your bag along with the camera.

"..okay." carl nervously responded, nodding his head slowly.

"hey, carl?"

"hm?"

"do you remember before all of this when you came over to help decorate my room and my mom let us dip our hands in paint and put it above my bed?" you reminisced on the moment.

"oh, yeah, i remember!" carls nervous expression turned into a smile. "i remember asking my mom when i got home if she would let me do that. we never got the chance to."

"...why don't we do it now?" you asked, smiling back at him.

"do we have paint?"

you looked around and spotted some blue paint on the side of the porch. "there!" you pointed to it before grabbing it, setting it right next to you. "we could put the handprints right here on the porch."

you dipped the palm of your hand in the paint, setting it down on the porch. carl did the same after, except on the opposite hand of yours.

"hey, isn't blue your favorite color?" you asked carl, noticing him getting more excited about the paint after you found the blue paint.

he nodded, lifting his now blue paint-stained hand off of the porch.

the two of you faced judith, then each other. you carefully grabbed both of judiths hands and dipped her palms in the paint, setting them to the side of yours and carls prints.

the three of you giggled happily, smiling at each other.

"now this porch is ours." you proudly stated, glancing at the handprints drying into the porch. "let's go get our hands washed."

you carefully picked judith up with your non-paint stained hand and brought her to the bathroom to wash her hands.

...

it was the next day. it felt fairly peaceful- well, besides your body weakening. you knew that you were getting closer to your limit. carl was in the other room resting. you found a pile of envelopes and paper, and proceeded to write. your first note, of course, was to carl. after that, you wrote to michonne, rick, daryl, maggie, then judith. sure, she couldn't read, but for when she's older. you had also found some jewelry beads and string. when you and carl were younger, the two of you had friendship bracelets. his was blue, which had always been his favorite color, and yours was purple. you decided to recreate it for him to remember you by.

once you were finished, you put them on your wrists, covering them with your sleeves.

...

it was now night, and negan had came to alexandria. a feedback was played on the intercom before negan spoke into it. we was speaking about apologies, and whoever gave the lamest one would be killed. you all were given three minutes to open the gate for them. you felt your fever begin coming in, your body temperature quickly rising.

"come on." carl whispered, nudging you in the shoulder to snap you out of your daze, doing the same with michonne. "y/n, michonne! come on!"

"you guys go. i'll deal with them, okay?" you told him, to which he instantly shook his head disapproving.

"no, you're coming with. it's not something we're discussing-"

"go." your voice turned stern. "i'll be fine. they won't get me. i'll distract them and give you more time to get everyone to the sewer. then come back to the watchtower."

carl looked like he was about to say something, but you cut him off with a kiss. as you pulled away, you smiled at him reassuringly. "trust me."

carl furrowed his brows before looking up at you and nodding, nudging michonne to lead her away.

you began walking up the ladder to the watch tower, hearing negan give final warnings to rick despite him not being there.

you stood up on the watch tower. "rick isn't here."

"oh, shit!" negan said in his annoyingly enthusiastic tone. "everyone, everyone, hold your fire... it's y/n. look at you. answering the door just for him. sucks that he's gonna come home to a big smoky surprise."

"there's families in there. theres kids, carls baby sister." you crossed your arms, looking down at him.

"well, that shit just breaks my heart." negan said pathetically. "there's kids at the sanctuary. even had a baby at one of the outposts. i wonder what happened to her."

you stayed silent, angrily glaring at him.

"none of this shit's fair, kid. carl knows that."

"don't." your voice turned stern.

"he had to kill his own mom. that is screwed up." negan bringing up lori and her death filled you with rage. god, you wanted to get rid of negan right then and there. but you were smarter than that.

you took a deep breath. "bad stuff happens, but we can figure this out. we... we can stop this."

"rick had it that i died, no matter what." he reminded angrily. "he gave my people a choice, not me. now we're gonna need a new understanding. apologies, punish-"

"kill me."

"...what?"

"if you have to kill anybody, if there has to be a punishment, kill me. just me. serious."

"you want to die, girl?" he scoffed, raising an eyebrow at you.

"no... no, i don't. but i'll die if it means everyone here lives." you averted your eyes, looking down and noticing carl standing by the ladder waiting for you. "if.. if all of this ends, or makes things different because i die? it'll be worth it. i mean, was this your plan? is this really who you wanted to be?"

negan looks away, which gives you an opportunity to get down the watchtower and back to carl. you try and get down the ladder as quick as possible, but you trip at the last step.

luckily, carl was there to catch you. "shit, you're sweating bullets. are you okay-"

"nevermind that, we have to go!"

you and carl ran around alexandria, throwing the smoke bombs around as negan and the saviors begin launching their grenades into the homes.

as you guys are running around, you begin getting dizzy and your body heat is increasing.

you walk up onto the porch of one of the houses, laying the back of your head on the front door as you catch your breath. you wipe the sweat off of your head, breathing heavily.

carl walks up to you, throwing a smoke bomb behind him. "what's the matter with you?"

you shook your head. "nothing, nothing. i'm fine. just.."

you and carl come to a halt at the sound of a bomb hissing behind you. you turn around to face the house and just before the bomb blows, carl grabs you by your hand and tugs you towards him, stepping back away from the house.

as your body presses up against him, he notices your body temperature at a high. "jesus, you're burning up. here, the sewer is right here."

he lifts up the sewer cover and begins crawling down, signaling for you to follow after him. you walk over and step onto the ladder, pulling the sewer cover back over to cover you guys.

as you get to the bottom, you turn around and see everyone, safe. you start breaking down, covering your mouth as you sob.

“y/n? whats wrong? its done, were safe, everyone is safe.” carl says with confusion and panic in his tone as you stay silent. "...please, say something. you're scaring me."

“…im sorry carl. im so sorry.” carl raises an eyebrow.

you lift up the side of your shirt, revealing your bite to everyone.

carl stares at you, his eye becoming glossy and his brows furrowing together as his breaths deepen. he shakes his head. “no.. stop.” he turns around with his hands behind his head, shaking.

“it happened when i was trampled by the walkers.” you admitted.

“why… why didnt you tell me then..? you told me you were fine!” his voice was wobbly as he tried calming down.

“because i didnt want my last day to be spent with you worrying. i wanted your genuine happiness, not you masking your emotions because you knew it would be the… the final time.” your voice cracked as you spoke.

carl stayed silent, understanding, but still denying the whole situation. “i cant- no-“ he began to cry, running up to you and hugging you tightly. one of his hands laid behind your head and the other along your waist. “you can’t leave me. not- not like this, please.”

“i’m sorry. you’re gonna be okay, carl. you… you’re strong. stronger than anyone i’ve ever met before.”

you broke from the hug and began taking the bracelet off of your wrist, handing it to him. “here, take it.” carl wiped away the tears flowing from his eye before reaching his shaking hand out to the bracelet, taking it from your hands and putting it over his wrist.

"it's.. blue." he remembered the conversation you two had the previous day about his favorite color.

"yep. just for you." you chuckled, rolling your sleeve down and holding up your wrist to reveal the bracelet you made to match his. "we always wanted matching friendship bracelets, remember?"

you moved your hands up to the sides of his face, smiling widely at him with tears in your eyes. “you’re gonna be okay…you’re gonna be okay.”

before carl could say anything, you let out a loud wince as a pain shot through your side. carl quickly grabs you, stabilizing you.

"do.." he sniffles. "do you need to sit down?"

you nodded and carl helped you down on the ground. he held your hand tightly, pulling it up to his face.

"i can't..." he cried.

"i know, i know." you brought up your free hand to move his hair out of his face, moving his head to face you. "you're so sweet. i'm so.. so glad that i got to spend my whole life with you. i'm sorry you couldn't spend yours with me."

he shook his head in shock. the sewer cover opened, and rick and michonne stepped down, noticing carl resting his head on your hand and your beaten up and dying frame sitting on the ground.

"y/n?" michonne called out, her eyes widening at the sight of you.

you glanced over to her with a saddened smile. you brought your free hand to lift up your shirt again to re-reveal your infecting bite. rick walked over and put a hand on his sons back, staring at you somberly.

"...i got bit." you sighed, a tear falling from your eye. "me and carl, we were bringing someone back. his name is siddiq. he was the guy you saw at the gas station before."

rick shakes his head, covering his mouth. michonne steps closer to you with tears in her eyes. she had always been such a supportive person for you and carl, especially since lori had passed. "it wasn't the saviors, it wasn't anyone. i just.. i got bit."

...

"the saviors are gone. we can get everyone to the hilltop. we can get y/n to the hilltop!" carl argued, squeezing your hand tightly.

rick sighs. "she wont-"

"daryl can get one of the cars."

"y/n can't leave here." rick sternly says. "she doesn't have enough time."

"...i have to stay with her." carl shakes his head, looking down at you.

"carl.."

"if she can't go, then i'm staying with her." he repeats, a tear falling from his eye.

"..can you take judith?" rick asks daryl.

daryl nods, picking her up. "yeah. i'll get her there. i'll keep her safe."

"let me say goodbye." you weakly ask.

daryl sets her down near you, and she begins walking towards you.

you weakly smile at judith. "i already know you're gonna be incredible. you entered this world at a bad time, but that will only make you stronger. you're gonna grow up, make friends, find someone you love.. you'll live." you look down at the ground with a smile. "just like your mom said to carl, you're gonna beat this world. you and him."

judith begins whining, and thats when daryl picks her up again.

"goodbye, judith." you waved. "goodbye, daryl."

after stating your goodbyes to a couple people, you felt yourself beginning your end.

"i don't.. i don't know how much longer i have left." you held carls hand tighter. "i don't want to die in here."

"here." carl wraps your arm around his neck.

...

carl and rick helped you to the house across the way, setting you down carefully inside.

"th-thank you." you coughed. "i.. i have one more thing for you, carl."

"what? what is it?" he kneeled down next to you.

"it hurts to move, it's in my front pocket. please grab it."

he reaches in hand into your pocket and pulls out the envelop. "this?"

you nod. "open it."

he opens the envelop and reads whats inside.

'carl, you have always been there for me, ever since the beginning. after losing my family, you helped me. you, rick, and lori all helped me. i never thought that it would end this way, and i'm sorry i put you through this pain. i'm glad i met you. i'm glad you ended up being the one. i wouldn't have traded you for anyone else. thank you, and i love you. through life and death. - y/n.'

tears began flowing out of his eye yet again. he brought up a hand to cover his mouth.

"we grew up too fast. but we grew up together. i'm forever grateful for you, carl grimes." you laughed, holding his hand. "i love you."

"i- i love you, too." his voice cracked. "everything i did was for you, y/n. every single thing."

"that doesn't have to change. you have to be there for judith now, too. she needs her brother." you moved your hand up to his face. you felt your fever start to set in, and your brain felt like it was shaking alongside the rest of your body. "...it's time, carl."

"do you want me to.. to do it?" he put his hand to the gun that was holstered on his side.

"i can't do it myself. i can't move." you cried with a smile still laying across your face. "i'm sorry."

"it's okay." he took out his gun and moved his free hand to the side of your face.

"can i have one last kiss?" you chuckled. he nodded and leaned in, kissing you. you closed your eyes and felt the metal go to the side of your head.

and then all the pain went away.

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

[callsign-dexter]

Heart to Break

Summary: Y/N has run out of heart to break. But she doesn't have to worry about anything because big brother Jake is there for her and maybe someone in The Dagger Squad if she'll let her heart love again.

Pairings: Jake Seresin x Sister!Reader, Bob Floyd x Seresin!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, heartbreak, alcohol, Soft!Big Brother!Jake, Protective!Big Brother!Jake, cheating (reader is not the one cheating), smut, cursing

Masterlist

A/N: Based of the song Heart to Break by Ryan Griffin

Jake is madly driving through the streets at night. He's pissed. Where is he driving to? He is driving to your house, his 4 years younger sister's house. Why was he driving through the streets late at night? Well, that would be because your aviator boyfriend of 1 year had decided to cheat on you with a fellow female aviator who was your so-called best friend, Avery 'Syren' Rania. All three of you had gone to the Navy and all three of you made it to Top Gun. You are a single-seater pilot of the F-18.

Jake was furious at your now ex-boyfriend who broke his sister's heart. Jake was very protective of you especially since you had decided to follow his steps in becoming a pilot and you loved it and weren't going to look back. Jake hated all of your boyfriends but he hated this one most of all, he was too much like himself and that's the men he tried to shield you away from. You lived fairly close to him but yet so far away, well at least to Jake.

When Jake arrived he noticed your boyfriend’s car pull up at the same time and that just made his blood boil. He also had the nerve to bring the girl he cheated on you with. When Jake stepped out at the same time your ex-boyfriend did and he turned around he froze. "Lieutenant Commander Seresin. What are you doing here?" Jordan 'Sleek' Fielding, your ex-boyfriend, asked feeling nervous. Jake had moved closer to him and he was towering over him.

"I should really be asking you that Lieutenant Fielding. I came here because my sister is upset and I don't like it when she is upset." Jake said and he watched Jordan's face pale.

"I didn't know she was your sister." He said and Jake looked at him like he had two heads.

"We have the same last name." Jake said. Jordan was not the smartest and everyone wondered how he got into Top Gun. "I think it is best for you to leave." Jake said and Jordan shook his head.

"I have to apologize to her and win her back." He said and Jake shook his head blood boiling further.

"If you wanted to do that then you shouldn't have brought your side piece or cheated on her. I suggest you and Lieutenant Rania leave before it turns out badly for you." Jake said and Jordan hung his head and started to walk to his car "Do not expect me to go easy on you both when Monday comes around." Jake said and Jordan nodded his head. When The Daggers had come back from the Uranium Mission they were announced as an official and they all got promoted. Jake watched Jordan leave and when his car was out of sight he walked up to your front porch and into the house using his spare key. "Y/N/N it's me!" Jake yelled out into the house and he heard you feet padding down the stairs and tackling him into a hug. You just started to bawl.

"Why me?" You asked him mumbling into his chest "Why me Jakey? Was I not good enough for him?" You asked and Jake held you tighter.

"It absolutely not your fault. He doesn't know what he is missing. They showed up when I did." Jake said

"I know. I heard. I knew you would handle it." You said taking a step back from him. He led you to the couch and sat you down.

"Now tell me what happened." He said and you took a deep breath and begun telling the story as it was fresh in your mind since it did only happen a few hours ago.

You had just left the base after a long day of training you had a very good day and you did very move by the book. You had stayed a little bit later than everyone else on base going over your jet and talking with some of The Daggers and your brother. You changed into your civilian clothes. You were also having your 1 year anniversary with your long time boyfriend adding to your good mood. You've had boyfriends in the past but all of them had broken your heart. When you loved you loved hard but the men you were with just didn't put in the effort like you did.

When you had met Jordan he was different. He put in the effort that you did and truly loved you and loved you for who you were and not just trying to get on your brother's good side. You thought he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and have children with. Boy were you wrong.

When you left base you stopped to pick up some stuff for tonight and then headed to Jordan's place. When you pulled up you saw Avery's car there and were confused. You brushed it off and killed the engine to your car and headed to the front door. You used the key you had and walked in and you saw clothes thrown everywhere confusion grew in you. Then you heard moaning coming from the bedroom your heart sank. You walked into the bedroom and found your boyfriend thrusting inside of your so called best friend and you tears welled in your eyes. "Did our 1 year mean nothing to you?" You asked him and he stopped and pulled out and they covered up.

"Y/N. It's not what it looks like." Jordan said and you raised an eyebrow.

"It looked like my boyfriend of 1 year was fucking my so called best friend." You said and they looked down. "How long?" You asked.

"1 year." Jordan asked and tears did fall from your eyes he had been cheating on you for all of your relationship. You tilted your head back and laughed.

"You know what. Happy 1 year anniversary. You both deserve each other." You said and throwing your key at them and stormed out of the house. Luckily for you all of your clothing was at your house and you hardly had anything there. You rushed out of the building and into to your car. They were yelling at you and you saw them standing in the front door but you didn't give them second look.

You arrived back at your house and quickly parked the car and killed the engine and ran into the house. Once in you locked the door and ran upstairs and into your bedroom closing the door and sliding down it. You called the only person you knew would help you in a time like this your big brother, Jake. You grabbed your phone and dialed his number. He answered on the first ring.

"Jake?" You asked when you heard the phone call go through.

"What's up sis?" He asked and you could hear a football game going on.

"He cheated on me." You said

"What?" He asked now furious.

"He cheated on me with Syren." You said through the tears

"That son of a bitch. On my way." Jake said "Do you want me to stay on the phone?" He asked and you shook your head and then realized that he couldn't see you.

"No. Be safe. I love you." You said

"I love you too, sis." Jake said and hung up the phone.

Once you were done explaining he pulled you into a hug and comforted you while you cried into his chest. "It's gonna be ok." He said.

"I'm just all out of heart to break." You said and he swore his heart broke.

"Let's get you to bed and tomorrow night you are coming out to The Hard Deck with us." Jake said and you nodded and he helped you up and get ready for bed. He pulled back the covers once you were ready for bed. He had put on a pair of his sweats from the clothes he had stored at your house. Once he was satisfied that you were comfortable he slid in behind you and cuddled you like he had down when you guys were younger and you would run to him after nightmares. He didn't fall asleep until he knew you were fast asleep. He was pissed but he would handle it later right now his little sister needed him.

******************************************

The next morning you woke up to an empty bed and the smell of Jake's homemade delicious waffles came wafting up to your bedroom and you smiled. You got up and passed by a mirror and saw you appearance, you had tear tracks stained on your cheeks and you hair was a mess. The events came back and another wave a tears came rolling down and you wiped them away and headed downstairs. Jake looked up when he heard you coming down the stairs he smiled. "There is my beautiful little sister." He said and you looked down and smiled and pushed him slightly and then he pulled you into a hug. "Now eat up. We have a big day planned and then you're coming to The Hard Deck with us." He said shoving a plate into your hands and guiding you to the table where he had drinks and syrup already out. A second later he joined you.

True to his word he kept you busy and your mind off of what happened. He took you to the store and got you some groceries and then to several other places. He even took you to the beach where all of the other Daggers were and you all hung out. None of them brought up what happened and you know Jake had told them. One of them had caught your eye but you didn't want get into another relationship and have it go down the drain. That person being Robert 'Bob' Floyd. He had always been so sweet to you but he was your instructor and you didn't want anything to get you both in trouble. You didn't know Bob had felt the same way. When the beach trip had come to and end Jake took you back to your house considering it was 5 PM and you had to be ready at 7 PM for when Jake picked you up.

When 7 PM rolled around you were ready and putting the finishing touches to your lipstick in the mirror in the hallway downstairs. When Jake walked in and smiled "Well look at my little sister all dolled up and ready to blow the men away." He said and you looked up and smiled.

"You're too sweet." You said and hugged him.

"That's how big brothers are supposed to be." He said "You ready?" He asked and you nodded. You both walked out of the house and to his truck. He helped you in and you were both on your way. It was a short drive to The Hard Deck considering you live fairly close to the well known bar.

Jake parked and got out and then helped you out and you were both walking to the building. You both greeted Penny and then you spotted your friends which Jake encouraged you to go and you knew he would keep an eye on you. He watched you dance and have and smiled. Bradley walked over and greeted Jake and the others followed. "She looks happy." Bob said smiling and Jake smiled and nodded.

"You'd never know if she didn't tell you, she won't tell you. She's out there dancing hidin' it well, hidin' it well, yeah and she's beautiful. Got every eye on her. No, you ain't the first to want her." Jake said to Bob, he had been noticing the looks he had been sending your way and vice versa. By now the others had joined.

"I wanna beat the shit out of him." Bradley said and everyone nodded and Jake continued.

"Lookin' at her, can you imagine? 'Cause I can't imagine, lettin' her go once you had her, the way he had her. 'Cause she's beautiful, take your breath in a second. If he shows up here tonight. She's gonna wreck him." Jake said taking his eyes off of you and to Bob for a brief second and then back to you.

"I can't imagine why he would let her go or cheat on her. I would never do that." Bob said.

"Don't take it personal if she don't wanna talk. You got to understand, that girl has heard it all. She'll drink the drink you buy and then she'll walk away. She's just all out of heart to break. I've seen it happen plenty of times until she found Jordon and I hated each and everyone of them." Jake said. "That dress, that hair, those heels. That lipstick ain't for you. That's just for just in case he walks into the room. She'll make you miss her, wanna get her back. But it's too late. She's just all out of heart to break. She ain't heartless for heartless sake. Far from it, when she loves she loves hard." Jake finished. He really did love you and wanted to protect you no matter what even if that means scaring away the other guys away from you.

The door chiming caught his attention and he looked up and it was Jordan and Avery. Jake was pissed. He watched them look across the room and then they found his eyes and they froze but they kept walking on. They grabbed drinks and found a empty table. Jake never took his eyes off of Jordan and he watched him hold Avery close and then his eyes met you and emotions ran through his face and Jake smirked. Jordan was realizing what he has lost and he turned to Bob. "You want to get back at Jordan for me then go dance with my sister." He said and Bob looked at him.

"Seriously?" He asked and Jake nodded.

"I've seen the way you two look at each other and I'm fine with it. I know you won't break her heart. Just be fragile with her love and heart." Jake said and Bob nodded and watched him walk over to you and grab your attention and watched you smile at him. You two danced and then stood there talking and laughing you touched his arm and he blushed and when you stumbled a little bit due to someone bumping into you he caught you and held you close. Jake watched Jordan frown and he watched Avery try to get his attention and failing. Jake smirked his signature smirk this is what he wanted.

"You're enjoying this." Bradley said and Jake nodded.

"He's seeing what he is missing." Jake said taking a sip of his beer. You may be out of heart to break but he knew Bob would take good care of you and show you what love is. Bob is the only man he would approve of being with you because Jake knew he would make your heart whole again.

Tag List:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

[scary-grace]

Enough to Go By (Chapter 7) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 7

Kurogiri snatches you from the alleyway behind the clinic. You’re ready for it, or as ready as it’s possible to be when you don’t know what Tenko’s planning. When you reappear, you’re not in the bar – instead you’re in the hallway outside Tenko’s room, and the door to his room is open. He looks pleased to see you. The hand’s already down off his face.

“You’re here. Good,” he says – but his expression shifts from anticipation into something sharper almost instantly. “What is it? Are you –”

This has been the worst twenty-four hours you’ve had since the night you first saw Tenko again. Between the visit with your family and the news about Kazuo and your encounter with Tenko’s master, you don’t have it in you to pretend. You take an unsteady step closer to him. “Can I, um –”

“What?” Tenko asks, but some part of him must know, because his arms lift from his sides, opening to leave space between them. You take another step closer, until you’re well within the space, and you know when he realizes, because he takes a sharp breath. “Yeah, you can. Go ahead.”

He hugs you back too tightly, but you’re probably hugging him too tightly in the first place. He can’t decide where to put his hands. He keeps trying different spots, but no matter where he touches you, it’s never with more than three fingers down. For your part, you keep your hands still on his back, resisting the urge to run them over his shoulder blades or along his spine. He’s really thin. Almost malnourished thin. No wonder his wounds take so long to heal.

You let your head fall against his shoulder, let your eyes fall shut. “What happened?” Tenko asks. He adjusts his grip on you without fully letting go. “Why do you look like that?”

His master said not to tell Tenko – no, advised you not to tell Tomura. But he also said he’d have no further dealings with you. You don’t know where Kurogiri is, what Kurogiri might say, so you speak as quietly as you can, your mouth just below Tenko’s ear. “I met your master.”

Tenko stiffens. “What?”

“Kurogiri took me to him. I thought he was taking me to you, but –”

“What did he want?” Tenko asks. His voice is tense, already going flat. “What did you tell him?”

“He wanted to know how I knew you. I told him about how we met last year, when you came to the clinic.” You feel Tenko’s shoulders relax slightly at that. “I used the right name. I don’t –”

“Here.” Tenko pulls away from you, but only long enough to pull you through the door to his room and shut it behind you both. “What else did he ask?”

“About my quirk. He said he’d give me one, but he changed his mind.” You try to remember, but it’s hard verging on impossible. All you can think of is the hand closing over your face, the enormous figure looming over you. “He said I was your game piece, not his. What does that mean?”

You look up at Tenko. Tenko’s expression is somehow grim and calculating at the same time. “He says everything’s for me. Everything should be as I want it, so he won’t take you away,” he says. Then, almost to himself: “But he was suspicious. If he finds out –”

“Finds out what?”

“Here.” Tenko pulls you closer than before. This time you feel his chapped lips against your ear. “I was supposed to say goodbye to my old name. When he gave me my family to wear.”

His family to wear. His family – the hands. You almost throw up. Tenko keeps talking, faster now. “I didn’t think about it. I hadn’t in years, until – and I feel different when I hear it. Different than I’m supposed to. I want the same things, but more things. I don’t know how to say it.”

“You’re not supposed to be Tenko anymore.” You feel him nod. “You feel more like that when you’re with me.”

Tenko nods again. “You always know how to say it right.”

“I know you,” you say. His grip on you tightens. “You’re in trouble with him because of me.”

“No.” Tenko’s index finger taps a pattern on your back. “I feel better when you’re here.”

That doesn’t mean he’s not in trouble. It just means he cares about it less, or he’s less worried than you are. “Just be careful with my name,” he continues. “Call me Sensei’s name around everyone else, even Kurogiri. When it’s just us, like right now –”

“Tenko,” you say, and he nods. You feel a little better, maybe. You don’t know for sure. And you know you’ve been hugging him for way too long. You step back. “Sorry about this. I –”

“Don’t,” Tenko says. “I told you. I don’t mind.”

The two of you look at each other for a moment. In your peripheral vision, you can see that the room’s even cleaner than it was the last time you were here. The coffee table still has a pileup of games on it, but there’s also an open energy drink can sitting there. With a flower sticking out of it.

You fixate on the flower. “Where’d you get that?”

“I found it,” Tenko says, but he can’t hold your gaze, which means he’s lying and he probably stole it. “So you wouldn’t get confused this time.”

“About whether it’s a date?” you ask. He nods without looking at you. “Okay. It’s a date.”

“It’s a date right now,” Tenko corrects. “The new members of the League will be here at midnight. Do you have a disguise?”

“I think so.” You’ve been carrying it around in your bag, since you don’t have a way to predict when Tenko will call for you. “Do you want to see it?”

He nods. You fish both pieces of it out of your bag and put it on, situating the veil over your face and peering at Tenko through the filmy fabric. “Can you see my face?”

“Not really.” Tenko tilts his head, studying you. “What is it?”

“My friends and I dressed up as vampire brides last Halloween, but I went a little too hard on the bride part,” you say. “I was going to use a mask, but it was hard to breathe, and I couldn’t see very well. And the veil covers my hair, too.”

Tenko nods again. “What’s the crown made of?”

“It’s supposed to look like thorns.” You cringe a little bit. “Hirono made me wear it with the costume, and I still needed something to hold the veil in place. Does it work?”

Tenko comes closer. A lot closer. “Not at this range,” he says. You’d have to agree. If you can count his eyelashes through the veil, he can definitely see your face. “I’m not letting any of them that close to you or me. You can take it off now.”

You lift the crown off, and the veil after it, and Tenko takes them from you, setting them down on the end of the coffee table next to the hand he usually wears on his face. They look unbelievably weird laid out next to each other – like the costume pieces they are, things the two of you can take on and off whenever you want to instead of symbols of what Tenko already is, what you’re getting yourself into. “The others won’t be here for a few hours,” Tenko says. “Do you want to play a game?”

“Do you need to do anything to get ready for the meeting?” you ask. “It sounds important.”

“The plan’s already done. I’ll tell you about who will be there, but we don’t need anything else. Just –” Tenko lifts his head as if to scratch at his neck, then lowers it again. “I don’t want to think about it right now. I’ve thought about it enough. Can we –”

“Yeah,” you say at once. “Let’s just play.”

You play Call of Duty again, starting off in co-op mode this time. You were so worried that your skills would atrophy that you made Ryuhei and Mitsuru play with you until you got better, something Tenko remarks on right away. “I can’t believe you practiced.”

“I wouldn’t be much of a sidekick if I stayed dead weight,” you say. “Don’t worry. It won’t last long.”

The two of you still have a ways to go before the intermediate levels, and with the pressure off, Tenko starts telling you about the allies he’s collected. Mostly guys – for whatever reason, there aren’t a lot of female villains. The two women are Hiikishi, who goes by Magne, and Toga, who goes by Toga. Magne’s an adult with a serious record, and Toga would have a serious record if she was an adult, which she isn’t. “Seventeen?” you say, startled. “She’s just a kid.”

“She’s a Stain fan,” Tenko says. He rolls his eyes, then takes out an entire group of enemies advancing on the two of you without looking at the screen. “So are two of the others. One of them’s got a fire quirk. He’s an asshole. The other one – he’s hard to get a read on. Keep an eye on him.”

“I can do that,” you say. You see a solitary enemy sneaking up behind Tenko’s character, adjust your viewpoint minutely, and shoot them before they can shoot him. “Who else?”

Toga apparently isn’t the only kid who’s taking on a life of villainy. There’s another high school student, too, and you think about what Kazuo said, about the question of whether the creation of new villains can be prevented. Two of the other new allies fall into the category of those Kazuo said would be drawn to violence regardless. You recognize both names from the news, and you’ve listened to enough true-crime podcasts at Mitsuru’s behest to know that at least one of them is supposed to be behind bars. “Did you break them out?”

“Kurogiri’s doing that,” Tenko says, unworried. “They’re the distraction. Compress will be doing the real work.”

“Compress?”

“We were lucky to find him,” Tenko says. There’s a nasty grin on his face. “You’ll hear more about him when we go over the plan. We – dammit.”

The two of you leveled up while you were talking, and there are twice as many enemies as before. You decide to drop the line of questioning and focus on the game. Playing with Mitsuru and Ryuhei, you never got through the first of the intermediate levels. Tenko’s better than they are by a long shot, but you’ll need all your wits about you to avoid dragging him down.

You and Tenko play in silence for the most part, working together as a team, and you notice the two of you shifting closer together as the game continues, moving from your separate corners of the couch to the middle of it. You’re paying attention to the game, but every so often your mind drifts – to the flower in the energy drink can, to the fact that this is apparently a date, to the fact that Tenko let you hug him and hugged you back. If this is a date, if he keeps calling it a date, there must be something he wants from you that’s more than this, more than whatever the two of you are doing right now. You could ask what it is. Part of you doesn’t want to know.

You and Tenko clear one or two intermediate levels, but on the third one, you know the two of you are in deep trouble. You’re low on health already, courtesy of getting dinged a few times on the level before, and your skills, while improved, aren’t good enough to let you hold your own. Tenko’s having to protect you, just like you were worried he would, and in the process, he’s taking damage, too. Despite that, courtesy of Tenko’s skills and your weird accuracy, the two of you progress to the end of the level. Almost.

“Come on,” Tenko hisses. He’s two seconds away from disintegrating his controller. “We can make it.”

No, you can’t. Not both of you. But if Tenko can get through, he can get to a save point, and you can finish the level later. If you both die, you have to go back to the beginning. With that in mind, it’s an easy choice. You maneuver your character between Tenko’s and the enemies sneaking up on him from behind, and shoot as many of them as you can before they overwhelm you. Tenko turns to stare at you in horror. “You died?”

“You didn’t. Go!”

Tenko swears, shoots the enemies you couldn’t kill, and clears the level at speed. He saves his progress. Then he turns on you. “What happened?”

You point at the screen, which is showing a slow-motion replay of your character getting absolutely shredded by enemy fire. “You were blocking for me?” Tenko looks unhappy. “Idiot. We could have won.”

“I was slowing you down too much,” you say. “I could help you get through, so I did. Now you don’t have to start over.”

“But you do.”

“I’m the sidekick. It’s okay,” you say. You’re not sure why he’s looking at you like that. “And even if I wasn’t your sidekick – there’s no way I’d let my best friend lose.”

Tenko doesn’t say a word in response. Instead he sets his controller aside, then lifts yours out of your hands and does the same. You’re sitting really close together right now. He said this was a date. You make eye contact with Tenko, or try to. He’s not looking into your eyes. He’s looking at your mouth.

He’s being really obvious. You wonder if he knows. “Have you kissed anyone before?”

“Yeah. You.” Tenko doesn’t look away from your mouth. “Don’t you remember?”

For a moment you don’t. But then you remember the picture of the two of you on Valentine’s Day, and what happened after the picture was taken – you taking the valentine from him, planting a poorly-aimed kiss half on his mouth and half on his cheek, and promptly running away. You’re surprised he’s counting that. But you would count it, too, if it was the only thing you had to count.

“I remember,” you say. “So this is going to be our second kiss.”

“Who said I was going to kiss you?”

“You’ve been staring at my mouth for the last minute and a half. I’m not sure what else you could be doing,” you say. Tenko’s face turns red, which means you’re right, but he still doesn’t make a move. “Did you change your mind?”

“No.” Tenko shakes his head. “I don’t know where to put my hands.”

“Don’t do anything with them for now,” you suggest. Your heart is beating faster. “Let’s just try it and see how it goes.”

He’s leaning closer now, shifting position to close the gap even further. The flush in his cheeks is darker than before. “I’m not going to be good at it.”

“Hey, I was pretty bad at Call of Duty last time,” you say. Tenko starts to argue that kissing and Call of Duty have absolutely nothing in common, and you cut him off. “You know how I got better? I practiced.”

Tenko finally tears his eyes away from your mouth. “You wouldn’t have had anything to practice if I hadn’t taught you how. You should kiss me.”

“I kissed you the first time,” you say. “It’s your turn.”

It’s quiet for a second. “Fine,” Tenko says. He leans in and you tilt your head to the proper angle and your lips meet for the first time in fifteen years.

You really don’t want to count the kiss when you were five as your first kiss, but Tenko’s counting it, so you sort of have to. His lips are rough against yours, not in pressure but in texture, and you’re careful as you kiss him back. Careful for a whole host of reasons. His hands are curled into fists on his thighs, and you don’t want him to move without thinking. You don’t want him to pull away, either, which is what he’ll do if you go overboard. It’s not the hottest first kiss you’ve ever had, but it’s the most intense by far. The fact that your lips are the only point of contact makes it even more so.

You’re trying to be careful, but you’re not careful enough – Tenko’s lower lip splits, and you taste blood. You sit back in a hurry. “Sorry. I didn’t mean –”

“I don’t care.” Tenko closes the gap between you again, presses his lips against yours a second time. “Do you?”

“I don’t want to stop kissing you,” you admit. You feel Tenko’s lips curve into a smile, spilling more blood onto yours. “But you have to let me make it up to you.”

“How?”

You unfold your hands from your sides and raise them, setting them on Tenko’s shoulders. Tenko freezes. You risk dragging your thumbs slowly across his collarbones, too prominent just like his shoulder blades and vertebrae are, and see his eyes fall half-lidded. A slow shudder runs through him, shedding tension in its wake. “Do you mind?” you ask.

“No.” Tenko kisses you again.

Kissing Tenko is – strange. It’s not bad. Definitely not bad, and definitely not something you want to stop doing, but still, it feels strange. Part of it is the taste of his blood on your lips, the almost-starved ridges of his shoulders and spine under your hands, the fact that you can touch him but he can’t touch you. And part of it is the missing piece of time, those fifteen years where you would have known each other if this hadn’t happened to Tenko – whatever this was. It feels almost like a blink. When you look back in your memories, you’re little kids, linking pinkies on the way to school. Now you’re kissing on the bed in Tenko’s room with Call of Duty paused in the background. Or making out. If the total lack of daylight between your mouth and Tenko’s is anything to go by, you graduated to making out already.

You can’t get your tongue involved without tasting even more of his blood, but the sound he makes and the shudder that runs through him when you swipe your tongue across his lower lip to clear it away makes it almost worth it. His fists are no longer resting on his thighs – now they’re on yours, fingers uncurling and curling again. You dare to slide one hand upward, tracing the back of his neck, and Tenko groans, shudders. The thought comes to you, again, that you should be careful with him. He’s so thin, so shaky under your hands. If you push him too far, he might break apart.

Tenko’s trying to talk without disconnecting his mouth from yours. That’s not going to work. You wrap your arms around his neck so he knows you’re not going anywhere and sit back. “What is it?”

“I want to touch you.” Tenko’s eyes are locked on yours this time, and the hunger and desperation you see there takes you by surprise. “I don’t know how to make it safe. I don’t want –”

Something happens to him then. You don’t know how to describe it. Something flashes behind his eyes, and his shoulders tense beneath your hands, muscles turning so rigid and brittle that they feel as though they could shatter. “It’s okay,” you say quickly. You shift closer to him without asking first, halfway into his lap, trying to give him some of the contact he wants without getting his hands involved. “You could go slow. Or be careful. Or if you had gloves –”

Tenko’s eyes light up. “Wait here.”

You shift out of his lap as requested and he gets to his feet, heading for one corner of the room. You take a second to get composed.  You can still taste Tenko’s blood on your lips, and when you raise your hands to touch your cheeks, they feel hot. Kissing him feels good, is good – but you’ve always liked your makeouts a little more hands-on, and once Tenko’s able to touch you safely, you can’t vouch for how well you’ll behave yourself. Are you really the only one who’s ever kissed him? He must be a quick study. Even with his blood on your lips, you’re already missing the heat of his mouth on yours.

Tenko’s back a moment later. He has a pair of gloves on – gloves that are missing the first three fingers. It takes all five to activate his quirk, which means you’re safe, and he still has the chance to touch you directly. He hesitates before he sits down again. “Do you really want –”

“Yes.” You catch his hand – it’s safe to do that now – and pull him down beside you. He makes a startled sound, which you immediately muffle in a kiss. It’s cute, but there are sounds you like better. “I want you.”

You were going to be more specific with what you wanted – I want you sounds heavy as all hell when the two of you have only just gotten physical – but Tenko doesn’t give you the chance. He wraps his arms around you tightly, so tight that it’s almost hard to breathe, but he doesn’t hold you that way for long. Soon enough his hands are roaming across your back from shoulder to hip, freezing briefly when they encounter your bra through your shirt, all while he deepens the kiss to an almost unsustainable degree. It’s like he’s trying to steal the air out of your lungs.

Tenko’s hands seize your shoulder, your hip, and grip hard. You don’t like being handled roughly, but held – that’s something different. You swallow a gasp and press closer to him, almost in his lap again. His grip on you tightens further and he pulls you the rest of the way. Your lips unlock from his in the move, coming loose with a slurping sound that would probably make you cringe under other circumstances, with someone else. As it is, you seize the opportunity to catch your breath.

Tenko looks up at you. His fingers are pressing deeply into your skin, hard enough to bruise through your clothes. His chest rises and falls rapidly, pressing against your own, and his red eyes are wide, pupils dilated. When you shift, trying to get settled in his lap, he sucks in a sharp breath. “Hold still.”

You’re comfortable now. You don’t mind. You look at him, studying the small things, the ones you remember from before. The tousled, slightly messy texture of his hair. His eyelashes, always a little longer than you expect them to be. The birthmark at the corner of his mouth, which you lean in to kiss lightly. You’ve always wanted to do that. Half the reason your first kiss was so messy was because you couldn’t decide whether to aim for the birthmark or his lips.

When you draw back, you see a surprised look on Tenko’s face. “You like that?” he asks. You nod, and a strange expression flickers across his face. “My grandma had it too.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“My other one. I saw in a picture.” Tenko’s thumb moves in slow circles over your hip, like he’s rubbing a worry stone. You don’t think he even knows he’s doing it. “She was a hero.”

“Really?” You didn’t expect him to say that. He nods. “You never told me.”

“I was going to.” Tenko’s eyes shift away from yours. “I found out that day.”

That day. It takes you a second to parse that, but once you do, your blood runs cold. The question balances on the tip of your tongue, a question you’ve been asking yourself for fifteen years, a question you know you shouldn’t ask him. You don’t need to know what happened. You saw what happened. All you need to know is that he’s here.

“Hey,” you say softly. Tenko won’t look at you, so you reach out, cupping the curve of his cheek, turning him back to put you face to face, if not eye to eye. “I’m glad you told me now. Better late than never. It would have been good to know for our games.”

Tenko scoffs at that. “We used to play some stupid games.”

“I liked them,” you say. “I like any game I play with you.”

Tenko’s been avoiding eye contact, but now he looks at you, and your breath catches. You can’t let him look at you like that. You’ll say more than you mean to. “Do you want to keep talking?” you ask. “Or do you want to make out some more?”

For a second you think Tenko will opt for talking. He looks like he’s thinking about it. Then the hand on your shoulder shifts to wrap around the back of your neck, and he drags you down for another kiss.

This position seems like it works for the two of you. The difference in your heights is perfect for it, and it gives you a little more control over the kissing while giving Tenko the chance to put his hands wherever he wants. He keeps them well clear of anything too forward, and eventually he finds a place he likes for both of them – one on your lower back, beneath the hem of your shirt, and the other around the back of your neck. It keeps you close, as if there was any chance you’d pull away.

You’re kissing too deeply to talk, except for once, when Tenko pulls away to make eye contact. “No more dates with heroes.”

You only went on that one date with Sugimura. After the night on the rooftop in Hosu, you had to accept that your feelings were elsewhere. “None for you, either.”

Tenko snorts. Then, almost as an afterthought: “No more with anybody.”

“You’re trying to lock it down already?” you tease. “It’s only our second date.”

“I don’t care.” Tenko’s expression is serious. “I don’t want another sidekick. You shouldn’t want another –”

He trails off, searching for the word. The word that follows naturally is ‘hero’, but you understand why he won’t use it. “I don’t want that,” you say. “You can lock me down. As long as I get to lock you down. It’s only fair.”

When you’ve had talks with guys about exclusivity in the past, they’ve looked vaguely annoyed. Tenko actually looks pleased with the thought. Not that that stops him from ribbing you about it. “You’re the one with seven siblings. You don’t like sharing?”

“I hate it.” you say, and he laughs. “You would, too, if you were me.”

Tenko smirks. He leans back from you without loosening his grip. “Go ahead, then,” he says. “Lock me down.”

He really shouldn’t challenge you like that. It gives you ideas. You lean in like you’re going to kiss him again, diverting at the last second to kiss the side of his neck, and Tenko’s complaints about how you don’t get to lock him down if you won’t even kiss him evaporate in seconds. You keep kissing him anyway. He wants you to lock him down? Fine. You’ll make sure everybody who looks at him knows that he belongs to somebody, even if they don’t know who that somebody is.

His neck is sensitive, and he’s not the quiet type. As high as his pain tolerance supposedly is, he’s almost absurdly sensitive to pleasure, and you like the idea of making him feel good a little too much. You know it’s working when Tenko’s grip on you changes, when he starts scrabbling for purchase on your back or your hip rather than holding tight, but even better than that is the unsteady sound of his breathing in your ear, the little noises he makes. You like it when guys are vocal. After one sound that crosses the line into a moan, you stop, and speak without lifting your mouth from his skin. “Locked down enough for you?”

“Fuck,” Tenko mumbles. You draw back to look at him and find his face flushed. “Maybe a little more –”

You kiss his mouth this time. You’re getting used to the taste of blood.

You don’t hear footsteps in the hallway or hear the door open, but you absolutely hear Kurogiri’s voice issuing from the doorway. “Shigaraki Tomura. It is nearly midnight.”

You pull away from Tenko, but not completely enough – there’s a rope of saliva stretching between your lips and his, which you deal with by leaning in to kiss him again. Tenko’s clearly embarrassed by Kurogiri’s presence, but that doesn’t stop him from kissing you back before he pulls away. “Knock next time,” he snaps at Kurogiri. “Are they here?”

“I will retrieve them shortly. Once the two of you are presentable.” Kurogiri apparently doesn’t trust the two of you not to go back to making out. He stands in the doorway, watching as you scramble out of Tenko’s lap and Tenko gets to his feet. “So the date went well?”

There’s that syntax shift again. “Shut up,” Tenko mutters. “Don’t act like you didn’t break my rule. You took her to Sensei. You’re lucky I don’t kill you.”

“If his orders contradict yours, my instructions are to follow his,” Kurogiri says. Tenko’s head snaps up. “I thought you were aware.”

“Now I am.” Tenko straightens his shirt and settles the hand over his face. He turns to face you and you wince. “What?”

You’ve seen the sketch of him from the USJ incident. It’s been all over the news for the past few weeks. “The hands for your neck – you might want them. There’s, um, evidence.”

“Evidence?” Tenko repeats, puzzled. Then his face turns red around the hand. He hurries to the far corner of the room and lifts a set of hands out, quickly securing them around his neck. “Can you see it now?”

You shake your head. “It is well hidden,” Kurogiri remarks. He looks to you. “Your disguise?”

You forgot about that. You collect the veil and crown off the end of the coffee table and secure both over your head. “I will retrieve the others,” Kurogiri says. “But first, the two of you.”

Warp gates open beneath your feet and Tenko’s, and when they close, you find yourselves in the bar again. Kurogiri himself vanishes, and Tenko settles into his usual seat. You stand there awkwardly. “Where do you want me to be?”

“Sit here.” Tenko taps the bar, and you scramble up. “Watch everybody. Keep an eye on the Stain fans. Act like you already know the plan. I should have told you already. I just –”

“You had other things to think about.” Your veil hides your face better than the hand hides Tenko’s – your face can flush until you’re practically glowing and no one will be able to see it unless they’re right up close. “How will I know if you want me to step in?”

“You’ll know when, if you need to. I trust you.” Tenko looks left, then right – then down at his hands. “Fuck. I can’t wear these. They’ll –”

“Here.” You hold out your hands for Tenko’s, and when he extends them, you peel the gloves off and tuck them away. With the model hands on and all ten fingers exposed, he’s different. You’re not sure how to quantify it, but you know it’s there, and it prompts a question. “Should I call you Shigaraki or Tomura?”

“Shigaraki,” he says, and you nod – but then, as the first warp gates begin to appear, he changes his mind. “Tomura. You’re different than they are. They should know from the start.”

So he’s planning to make your status distinct from the others, right from the beginning. You don’t know if that’s a good idea, but before you can protest or push back even slightly, the first of the allies Tenko’s gathered step through the portals, and you fall silent. Unless something goes horrendously wrong, you’re going to stay that way for the duration of the meeting.

The first two villains to arrive are also the youngest – the girl, Toga, and the boy who named himself Mustard, after the gas. Next up is the fire quirk-user, notable because of his patchwork skin and the staples holding the living tissue to the dead. You stare from behind the safety of your veil. You have no idea how his body is holding together. It shouldn’t be possible.

Next is a heteromorph, green-skinned and purple-haired, wearing a Stain mask. He must be the one Tenko – no, Tomura – said was hard to get a read on. The one you’re supposed to watch.

Magne arrives, followed shortly afterwards by a masked man – Compress, definitely, because the two men who arrive last are the murderers Kurogiri must have just broken out of prison. They scare you in a way the others don’t, and you’re so wary of them that you almost miss the arrival of the last villain. And you really shouldn’t miss his arrival. After all, he’s the only villain here who you’ve met before.

“Twice?” you say, startled, and Tomura looks up at you. Luckily, everyone else is still getting their bearings, and at least you said it quietly. “Sorry.”

He shakes his head. “Tell me later,” he says, and then he faces the other villains.

You’re not sure what he’s going to say, where he’s going to start, but in spite of the hands and the crew of monsters he’s assembled, all you can see is your childhood friend when he speaks. He sounds like he always did, laying out the details of the story before the game begins. “The heroes have regained their confidence. Because they dealt with Stain, they think it’s all been solved. I know that at least a few of you have questioned the effectiveness of what the League’s done so far. So have I. So we’re going back to what worked last time. We’re going to attack UA.”

Your stomach lurches. No wonder Tenko didn’t tell you. He must have known you wouldn’t approve. “They’ve tightened up security since your last attack,” Toga pipes up. “I took a look around, like you said. Nobody noticed me, but the whole campus is locked up tight.”

“Good work,” Tomura says, and Toga grins. Her incisors are sharp. “Toga’s reconnaissance confirmed my conclusion: UA is impregnable for now, which is why we’re not attacking the school itself. They’re running a summer training camp at a remote location, with significantly less security. That’s where we’ll hit them.”

“Them,” the fire quirk-user repeats. “Not All Might.”

“Not yet. We need to level up before we take him on.” Tomura’s shoulders are tense. “Hitting the camp, threatening their precious students – if the heroes can’t even protect their own kind, they can’t claim to be capable of protecting everyone else. Besides, that’s not the only reason we’re going there. You all are a good start, but we’ll need more allies if we want to win.”

“Why do you need more?” Mustard asks. “You’ve got us. We’re not good enough?”

Based on the belligerence, this is a sore spot. If Tomura can’t navigate it, you’ll step in – but somewhere beneath the hands, Tomura’s still the kid who knew how to make everybody feel included. “We can’t fight a war on just one front,” he says. “You and the others will win the strategic battle by destroying UA’s sense of superiority. And while you’re doing that, Compress and Toga will collect what we need to win the PR battle as well.”

“Indeed,” Compress agrees. “Are there other students you’d like me to capture, Shigaraki? Or are you interested only in the victor from the Sports Festival?”

The explosion kid. You remember him – the one who was so batshit berserk that he had to be muzzled and chained to a pole for the award ceremony. Tomura wants him for the League? “Use your discretion,” Tomura says. “He’s the priority. If you see others who are better suited to us than to the heroes, take them, too.”

“And I’ll get the blood,” Toga chimes in. Everyone turns to stare at her. “My quirk lets me turn into the people whose blood I drink! I can make myself look like a student, and I can say anything I want.”

Like a living deepfake. You knew Tomura was smart, but this is verging on diabolical. “What about the rest of us, then?” Muscular asks. There’s a sharp smile on his face, and just like Tomura, he’s tense. “Are we supposed to just stand around?”

“There will be pro heroes present,” Tomura says. “Mustard will incapacitate the students, but the pros will be more difficult to handle.”

“Difficult? For me?” Muscular scoffs and takes a step forward. “Just because an underground hero handed you your ass doesn’t mean I’ll have a problem.”

“If Eraserhead cancels your quirk, you’ll be in the same spot as me,” Tomura says shortly. He gets to his feet. Not good. “If you think I’m that easy to defeat, try your luck.”

It looks like Muscular wants to. Tomura’s hands are open at his sides, rising slightly, and just like you did in the convenience store last year, you speak up. “Both of your records speak for themselves,” you say, and Muscular turns to stare at you. “Tomura recognizes that the pros pose a threat to the success of the plan. And he recognizes that you’re well-equipped to handle them. That’s why you’re here.”

It’s quiet for a second. Muscular doesn’t step back into line, and neither does Tomura – but neither of them make a move, and when Tomura speaks again, Muscular doesn’t interrupt. “If you haven’t been given a more specific assignment, your job is to sow chaos,” he says. “Dabi, Spinner, Magne, Muscular, Moonfish – deal with the pros. If you have the opportunity to kill them, do it, as slowly or as quickly as you’d like. If not, keep them out of the way.”

“What about the students?”

Moonfish sounds like he’s speaking through a mouthful of razors. It makes your skin crawl, but Tomura doesn’t flinch. “The focus needs to be on the heroes and their failings, not on a bunch of dead kids. If that happens, that’s all anyone will talk about,” Tomura says. “Hurt them. Don’t kill them. That goes for all of them – except one.”

“Which one?”

“Midoriya Izuku.”

“No.” The green-skinned heteromorph speaks up for the first time. “Not him.”

Tomura turns towards him, incredulous, and the heteromorph keeps talking. “Stain spared his life. He recognized him as a true hero. I won’t subvert Stain’s will like that.”

A joke pops into your head – Stain’s not gonna fuck you – and you clench your jaw shut. “Stain’s will?” Tomura repeats. “Stain lost.”

“His ideas still live,” the heteromorph – Spinner, you think – says. “Are you following in Stain’s footsteps or not?”

You see Tomura’s shoulders tense again and realize that you’ve got approximately three seconds before he blows his top. “Stain and Tomura share a belief that hero society is rotten to the core,” you say. “The fact that the only examples of true heroes Stain could find are All Might and a fifteen-year-old illustrates the decay. Don’t you think?”

You’ve put Tomura and Stain on the same conceptual level, and you’ve put Spinner on the spot – and most importantly, you’ve contained Tomura for the time being. “I guess,” Spinner says after a second. “I still don’t think –”

“If you’re worried about following in Stain’s footsteps, follow them by killing false heroes,” Tomura interrupts. “There will be plenty to choose from at the training camp. Don’t concern yourself with Midoriya Izuku. Act as your ideals demand.”

Tomura glances around the room. “That goes for all of you. Use what methods you’d like. Act as you see fit, so long as those actions don’t imperil our common goal. Disrupt the camp, disable any pro heroes who get in your way, kill them if you want, and assist Toga and Compress in completing their objectives.”

It’s quiet. You can tell Tomura’s waiting for an argument, and when one doesn’t come right away, he picks one. “Does anyone have issues with their assigned role?”

“I have an issue,” the fire quirk-user says. Dabi, you think. The one Tomura said was an asshole, and when he points one finger at you, you decide you agree with Tomura’s assessment. “What’s your role? Who are you?”

“Yeah,” Muscular says. “What’s under that veil? And why do you talk so much?”

“She’s our medic,” Tomura says. “She’s trustworthy.”

“She’s hiding her face.”

“So am I,” Twice pipes up. “And Compress. Shigaraki, too. Besides, it’s good to have a medic! If the medic’s good.”

You owe Twice for having your back, even if he doesn’t know you. Dabi doesn’t look convinced. “What’s your name?” he repeats.

“You get her name when I get yours,” Tomura says. “My alliance with her existed before the League did. She’s trustworthy.”

Toga squints at you, then takes a few steps closer. “I like your costume,” she says. “You look like a bride.”

“I can’t see your face at all,” Magne says. “Hopefully it’s cuter than the veil is.”

“I hope so, too,” you say. Magne laughs.

Tomura doesn’t like that. You can tell. “Kurogiri, bring the maps,” he orders. A warp gate opens in the middle of the room, disgorging a map taped to a rolling whiteboard. “I don’t know your quirks as well as you do. We’ll devise this attack plan collectively.”

Tomura wasn’t in school long enough to learn what a pain in the ass group project are, but given that villains don’t like being bossed around, it’s not the worst strategy. You hang back, physically and verbally, steering clear of Dabi and Muscular and only stepping in when the temperature needs to be turned down. You’re the least powerful person in a room full of people who think nothing of throwing their weight around. In some ways, it’s just like being at home with your family.

Tomura asked you to watch, and you start piecing together an understanding of the group’s dynamic. The most stable individuals in the group are Kurogiri, Magne, and Compress, all by a long shot. The most easily dysregulated is Mustard, and while you think Dabi and Muscular can probably control themselves, you also think they’ll choose not to. You have a pretty good grasp on Twice from your previous meeting. Moonfish doesn’t say enough for you to be able to tell, but he also doesn’t start fights, and Toga’s a dark horse. So is Spinner.

Spinner’s hard for you to figure. He’s got no criminal record, but unlike Toga and Mustard, he’s old enough to have collected one. He’s probably the biggest Stain fan of the group, the only one who pushed back against Tomura on ideological grounds, but he’s also something of a team player. His role in the attack gets settled early, and he shifts to the outskirts of the group. After a few minutes psyching yourself up to do it, you slide down from the bar and join him.

He glances over at you, then double-takes. “You look like a ghost in that thing,” he says. “It works, though. I’d hide my face if my face mattered.”

“How do you mean?” you ask. “You’re joining the League of Villains. Your face is about to get pretty famous if you don’t cover it up.”

Spinner laughs, but there’s a rueful note to it. “I’m not exactly breaking hearts by turning to a life of crime. At least this way I’m doing something with my life.”

Weird and weirder. “What were you before this? If it’s okay for me to ask.”

“Only if it’s okay for me to ask how long you’ve known Shigaraki.”

You think about that. “Does ‘a long time’ count as an answer?”

“That depends. Is it months or years?” Spinner asks. You don’t know if you should answer that, and Spinner can tell. “I know I pissed him off earlier. You shut it down pretty fast. I figure either it’s your quirk or you just know him really well.”

“It’s not my quirk,” you say. You think back to the first time Tenko told you his new name. “Less than forever, more than a year.”

“I was a shut-in,” Spinner says, answering your question without responding to your answer to his. No wonder he’s got a record. It’s hard to get a record when you don’t leave your room. “That video of Stain’s is the first thing I ever saw that made sense. If you all have the same goal as Stain did, then I’m in the right spot.”

You nod. Someone is raising their voice in the group, and you key in – but it’s just one of the versions of Twice, getting excited about something. Spinner glances curiously at you. “You sure you don’t have an alias or something?”

You shake your head. You might be at a meeting of villains, wearing a disguise, listening to them plan to kidnap one high school student and traumatize the hell out of a few more, but picking out a name for yourself feels a little far. If Tomura thinks you need a name, he’ll probably give one to you.

The meeting breaks up two hours after midnight. You missed hearing the date the attack will take place, possibly on purpose, and when the group splits, leaving just you and Tomura and Kurogiri, you don’t ask what it was. Kurogiri pours drinks for you and Tomura. You sit down at the bar next to him, and he speaks without looking up from his glass. “What did you find out about Spinner?”

“He was a shut-in before. As long as you can tie your goals to Stain’s, he’ll follow along,” you say. Tomura nods. “How did the rest of it go?”

“I’m leaving some of the on-site planning to them. I’m not there to give orders, so they need to be able to adapt.” Tomura takes a sip of his drink. “Dabi’s a pain in the ass, like I thought, but I’m giving him temporary control of a Nomu to use during the fight. That should keep him quiet for now.”

He’s thought of everything. “You’re good at this stuff,” you say. “You barely needed me.”

Tomura looks up. “Yes, I do.”

It’s quiet for a little bit after that. You and Tomura drink, you staring down into your glass and Tomura staring at you, until you look up at the clock behind the bar and realize what time it is. “I have work in the morning. I have to go home.”

“Stay.” Tomura catches your sleeve with three fingers, but a small portal opens, depositing your bag a few feet away on the bar. “Kurogiri can take you to work from here.”

“I can’t show up in yesterday’s clothes. And I need to sleep. So do you.” You’re right, and Tomura knows it. He scowls anyway. He’s never happy when you leave, but right now he looks unhappier than usual. “What is it?’

“Once the attack happens, I can’t bring you back until things settle down.” Tomura’s looking unhappier by the second. “The brat can’t see you until I know he’s with us.”

“Oh,” you say. You wonder how long that will take. “That’s okay. I understand.”

“It’s not okay,” Tomura snaps. “It’s – take that thing off. I need to see you.”

You take it off quickly. “Kurogiri,” Tomura says. “Turn around.”

“I will return in five minutes.”

Kurogiri vanishes, and once he does, Tomura lowers the hand from his face, pries the other two from around his neck, and just like that, he’s Tenko again. “It’s not okay,” he repeats. “I need you with me. I feel different when you’re here.”

“Different than what?” you ask. He must think it’s a positive change, or he wouldn’t want you to stay. Tenko doesn’t answer. “Send Kurogiri to get me as soon as it’s safe, Ten. I’ll be waiting.”

You see his eyes light up ever so slightly, but it fades fast. “You’ll forget.”

Your heart aches, but this is something you can fix. “Let me show you something.”

The last forty-eight hours have been chaos, and you’ve spent most of it miserable, terrified, drunk, hungover, or making out with your childhood best friend on his couch. But somewhere in the middle of that, you managed to get into one of the two boxes you brought home from your parents’ purge and take something out. You couldn’t bring yourself to wear the locket, but you tucked it into your bag along with your disguise, and when you put your disguise away, you fish it out.

Tenko looks suspicious. “Who gave you that.”

“My parents, probably. That’s not the important part.” You close your eyes and struggle to come up with an explanation, one that doesn’t make you sound obsessed or insane or too invested in this, in him. “I found this in a box in my parents’ house. There was a lot of stuff in there about you and me.”

“Like what?”

“Pictures,” you say. “A birthday gift from you. The valentine you gave me. I put all that stuff in there when I was ten and taped it shut.”

“Why?”

“My parents were taking me to get my memory wiped the next day, so I really would forget.” You see Tenko’s eyes widen. “I hid that stuff from them, but I saved it for me. So even if the memory wipe worked, I could open it up and remember you again.”

You open the locket and hold it out for Tenko to inspect. You see his expression twist. “I never forgot about you,” you say. “When we saw each other again, that’s why I reacted that way. I always hoped you were alive. If I didn’t forget you in fifteen years, a few days or weeks or months isn’t going to make a difference.”

Tenko’s jaw is clenched. The tendons in his neck stand out, and his hands are curled into fists at his sides. You were trying to help, but it looks like you’ve made it worse. “I’m sorry,” you say. “I shouldn’t have –”

Tenko seizes you and yanks you into his arms. “Shut up,” he mumbles, his voice muffled by your shoulder, or maybe your chest. “How am I supposed to let you leave now?”

“You have to. It’ll be okay,” you say. “I did promise not to go on any dates with heroes.”

It’s quiet for a second. Your arms are around Tenko, and you feel his shoulders shake. “That’s not funny.”

You know that particular note in his voice. It makes you feel better. “Don’t laugh, then.”

Tenko snorts, hugs you closer and tighter. Then he lets you go. “Next time you’ll stay,” he says.

“If I have the next day off, sure,” you say, and Tenko smiles slightly. “We never got to have sleepovers before.”

It’s true. You asked and so did he, but your parents said you were too young, even though neither of you would have been farther from home than right across the street. You see Kurogiri reappear out of the corner of your eye and know you’re out of time. “Be careful,” you say to Tenko. “Come find me as soon as it’s safe.”

“I will.” Tenko gets to his feet. “Turn around, Kurogiri.”

“Believe me, there’s nothing going on over there that I want to see.”

One of these days you’re going to ask Tenko why Kurogiri’s like that, why he seems like he’s two people in one. Not tonight. There isn’t time. You have time for one more kiss with Tenko, but that’s all – and the instant the two of you separate to take a breath, Kurogiri warps you away, dropping you back in your apartment. Your bag lands on the couch next to you. You still have the locket clenched in one hand. There are still a few drops of Tenko’s blood on your lips.

You lick them away, feeling twenty kinds of insane as you do it. Your mind is crowded with dozens of questions, thoughts, images, memories, all of them demanding to be addressed at once. You kick off your shoes, move your bag to the floor, and lie back on the couch. Your eyelids are heavy the instant you’re horizontal, and by the time it occurs to you that you should let go of the locket or at least put it somewhere safe, you’re fast asleep.

[feelbokkie]

Let’s Fall in Love, IRL | Chapter 15

pairing: Jisung x fem reader

genre: smau, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au, Pen pals to lovers, friend of a friend to lovers

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings: swearing, depictions of a panic attack, mention of food

summary: When she was a child, L/n Y/n was in a horrible accident that left her face disfigured.  After getting bullied relentlessly by her classmates for her appearance, Y/n escaped to the digital world where she meets Felix. Now an adult, Y/n has be come a complete social recluse, only talking to her 4 childhood best friends and roommates and her only friends. When Felix goes AFK one day in the middle of a game, Felix’s roommates decides to step in. Is this the start a new relationship or will Y/n’s crippling social anxiety get in the way?

taglist: CLOSED

word count: 5,296

screenshot count: 10

previous | masterlist | next

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

“Why are you all home? Scratch that, why are you awake right now?” You ask Chan as you walk into the living room.

It’s strange for everyone to be home so early in the morning on a weekday. Changbin, Hyunjin, and Seungmin normally would be at work while Chan would be in bed after working all night. Even Hyunjin, who often works from home, would be in his room this early in the morning. And yet, as you're running around the house, getting ready for your date with Jisung, all four of them are in the dining room. Chan is at the stove, finishing cooking breakfast. Seungmin is in the corner fiddling with the coffee machine. Hyunjin and Changbin are at the dining table, deep in conversation.

"Good morning, Y/nnie," Seungmin calls, not turning around.

You quickly walk over to Chan, annoyed that nobody is answering you. You latch onto his arm and gently shake it, still being mindful of the hot pan in his hand.

"Why are you all home?" You whine.

It's a reasonable question. Both Changbin and Hyunjin have been hinting about following you on your date. You thought they were teasing you, as brothers do. But seeing them still home when you're set to leave in a few hours leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

"Don't worry, they're not going to follow you. I took away and hid all the car keys. And they're on a strict ban from leaving the house today." Chan reassures you with a smile.

"But--"

"Hey, baboya, it's the 7th. Did you forget?" Hyunjin calls from behind you.

Your birthday.

You almost forgot. You knew your date aligned with your birthday. But because of the anxiety and nerves that came from mentally preparing yourself for today, you completely forgot about it. Not that you wanted to remember your birthday anyway.

"Come and sit," Changbin waves you over to the table.

You didn't notice it at first. The gifts on the dining table. You were so mortified at the idea of your brothers and dad following you on your date that you completely overlooked them. There are 5 in total, one large rectangular box and a few smaller gifts around it. It was a birthday tradition for all of you. Everyone would pitch in what they could for one big gift. As you all got older, it became one big gift with a few, individual gifts.

"Sorry, I did forget," You apologize as you sit down at the head of the table that Chan normally sits at.

Seungmin finally makes his way to the table, setting down a cup of coffee in front of you. He takes the open seat closest to you. You take a sip of the coffee and hum in approval when its familiar flavor hits your tongue.

"Seungmin, make me one too?" Changbin says excitedly.

"It's not your birthday. Make it yourself," He says sharply before taking a sip of his own coffee. "Y/n, that's decaf so don't worry."

A small smile spreads across your face at the small gesture. You aren't even thinking about how caffeine would affect your anxiety later. And, just like always, Seungmin is thinking ahead for you.

Chan finally joins the four of you at the table, setting down the plate of chocolate banana pancakes and different side dishes. Hyunjin gets up and pours 3 cups of coffee before rejoining everyone at the table. You don't like celebrating your birthday, for good reason. And while the boys normally just leave you be, your birthday is the one thing they actively fight you on. eventually, you gave up and let them do their little traditions that the five of you came up with. Like birthday breakfasts. It's the one thing you look forward to when your birthday rolls around.

***

"You can wear that today. I made you a matching mask and a bow for Inuyasha." Hyunjin explains as you hold up a light blue dress with daisies all over it.

"Thank you, Jinnie!" You say excitedly. You still weren't sure what to wear for your date, and thanks to Hyunjin, that's one less thing to worry about.

After breakfast, the boys pushed you to open your presents. So far, you've already opened the complete manga series for A Promise Neverland from everyone, 'The World's Okayest Sister' coloring book from Seungm (with money hidden in it), A neck massager from Chan, and now a dress from Hyunjin. All that's left is Changbin's gift. Even if you didn't already know his gift was last, you would be able to tell from the wrapping paper alone. He's never been the best when it comes to wrapping. Without fail, the paper also gets crumples and never resembles the shape of the item it's concealing. Still, you happily pick up the box and start to unwrap it.

"A...taser?" You question once you open the misshapen box.

"He forgot," Seungmin whispers under his breath.

“No, Seungmin, I didn't forget." Changbin swings his leg under the table, hitting Seungmin in the shin.

"Changbin hyung kicked me!" Seungmin whines as he bends over to rub his leg.

"It's a practical gift! Just in case that slim ball gets handsy or something.” Changbin explains, ignoring Seungmin.

“This is illegal,” You reply dumbfounded. Hyunjin bursts into laughter at your response. Hyunjin takes the taser out of the box and starts fiddling with it.

“It’s okay, I’m a firefighter,”

“I’m a civilian.”

“It's fine. You're related to a firefighter.” He waves you off.

"Oppa, I don't think that's how this works." You snap, slowly getting annoyed.

Buzz buzz

"Hyunjin, give me that. Changbin, you owe her an actual birthday gift." Chan takes the taser from Hyunjin and puts it away.

"How about pepper spray? I have some right here." He pulls out a bottle of pepper spray from his pocket.

"Also illegal," You sigh as you remind him.

"Where are you getting these from? Are you going to pull out a switchblade next?" Hyunjin leans over to see if Changbin is hiding anything else in his pocket.

"Changbin," Chan sighs as he takes the pepper spray from Changbin's hand.

"Just give her money, hyung. You suck at gift-giving." Seungmin says, finally sitting upright.

"Give me back everything I've ever given you." Changbin snaps.

"No,"

Ding dong

"Oh my god, he's early," You say quickly as you jump up, your heart beginning to beat quickly.

You still have about 30 minutes before Jisung said he was going to come and pick you up. You already did your hair, all you had to do was get dressed and get Inuyasha ready.

Why the hell is he early?

"Go and get changed, we'll take care of it," Seungmin tells you softly.

"Right," You nod slowly before turning to Hyunjin and Changbin, "You two, go to your rooms."

"Why do we have to go to our rooms but Seungmin is allowed to roam free?" Hyunjin whines.

"Seungmin doesn't have ulterior motives." You reply quickly, getting up and grabbing your dress.

"I have motives. You have no idea if they're ulterior or not." Seungmin sasses.

"You go to your room too."

"Y/n, go get ready. I have everything under control." Chan reassures you as he gently pushes you off towards your room. "And Y/n, stay calm."

***

Stay calm.

You quadruple-check yourself in the mirror, taking deep breaths as you make sure everything is perfect. Inuyasha stays close to your side. You got him dressed first with his 'service animal' vest and Hyunjin's homemade bow. Your hair is perfect. The ends are curled and your bangs are draped neatly over your left eye. You used extra hairspray to ensure that your bands won't move too much. The dress Hyunjin gifted you first perfectly and is comfortable enough for you to wear the entire day.

Stay calm.

You take one last deep breath as you grab Inuyasha's lead and your purse and leave the room. You slowly walk towards the front of the house, preparing yourself as you walk around each corner. If Changbin got his way, Jisung might still be standing outside the front door. You kind of hope he is. At least you'd have more time to calm yourself down.

Stay calm.

You freeze when you finally walk into the living. Because there he is. Han Jisung is in your living room. He's actually here. To see you. Jisung makes eye contact with you, freezing mid-sentence as he stares.

"Wow," He whispers to himself.

"Don't gawk at my sister like she's a piece of meat—Ow!" Seungmin turns pointedly to Chan as he holds the back of his head.

"H-hi," You choke. Your throat and mouth are impossibly dry. Almost you've been walking through the desert for days.

Jisung stands up, quickly fixing his shirt. His hair is neater than you're used to seeing. He styled it and yet, it still looks soft and fluffy. Part of you wants to run your hair through it. His outfit is simple: a black, oversized shit and a nice pair of jeans. Not much different from what he wears when he video-chats you. Except for the mask he’s wearing on his face.

“Hi,” he replies calmly, “I’m not gawking. You’re just a lot prettier than I imagined—Not that I was just imagining what you look like in my free time…O-or that I thought you wouldn’t be pretty. Wait that sounds bad. I just meant… I’ll just shut the fuck up. Shit…fuck—I mean—here, I got you these flowers.”

“Oh my god, he’s an idiot—Ow! What?” Hyunjin turns to Chan with a look of betrayal, clutching his head.

Jisung picks up the red and light pink bouquet that sits beautifully on the couch. It takes you a second to figure out which flowers they are. Red chrysanthemums and light pink peonies. Your birth flowers.

"...Unless you don't like flowers. Then I can totally just get rid of these for you. Or do you hate these flowers? Then I can get you another bouquet. I didn't know what kind of flowers you liked and I couldn't ask Felix so I just went with your birth flowers. But I know you don't like your birthday so you probably don't want any reminder of it...Someone, please shut me up," Jisung rambles, his face becoming as red as the chrysanthemums the more he talks.

"It's okay, Hanji! I love flowers and chrysanthemums and peonies are really pretty. Top tier flowers." You mumble as you take the flower from him.

Badum

It's an innocent touch. Your fingers graze his hand as you take the flowers from him. And yet, your heart begins to race and you can feel all the heat in your body going to your head. Now you're turning as red as the chrysanthemums. It's enough of a concern for Inuyasha to press his cool nose into your leg to let you know to calm down. A noticeable act that makes all three of your brothers turn their attention to you.

Snitch

"Here, Y/n, I'll put these in a vase for you." Seungmin gets up from the couch and takes the flowers from you.

"Do we even own a vase?" Hyunjin questions, looking around the room. None of you have ever brought home flowers before. Even if you did, it was always a single one that you'd just put in a drinking glass.

"I'll go buy a vase, that can be my makeup gift—Ow!" Changbin whips around and glares at Chan.

"You are grounded. You're not allowed to leave the house today. I'll buy the vase." Chan says quickly.

"I'm 25, what do you mean I'm grounded?" He shouts.

You clear your throat to tell Changbin to shut up. He's already started to get loud. And Changbin is loud—well, you'd still have one up on Helen Keller.

"Hanji, are you sick?" You ask, changing the subject from your brothers' antics.

"Me? No, why? Oh, the mask!" Jisung stands up straighter, rubbing his hand on the back of his head. "I wore this so you'd feel more comfortable wearing yours. We'll just look like a very health-conscious couple. Well, not a couple exactly! Don't want to get ahead of myself. Unless I fuck up today somehow...Someone, please stop me,"

"That can be arranged," Hyunjin says under his breath, moving out of the way before Chan can hit him again.

Inuyasha walks away from you and over to Jisung. All of you watch as Inuyasha presses his nose against Jisung's legs, making the five of you giggle.

"Oh hey, you must be dog Innie—Oh wait, I can't pet you, you're working...What...What is he doing?" Jisung questions as Inuyasha refuses to move.

"He can hear your heartbeat and is trying to tell you if you don't calm down, you're going to have a panic attack." You say simply, gently tugging on Inuyasha's lead.

He really is a snitch.

"R-right," Jisung clears his throat. "Anyway, Y/n, we should go. The bus will be here soon."

"Yeah, okay."

"I'll have her back by 6—7 o'clock at the latest," Jisung tells Chan as he stretches his hand out for you to take.

"Have her back by 6 on the dot or I'm hunting you down—Stop hitting me!" Changbin shouts at Chan.

Badum

You stare at Jisung's open hand. You know you should take it. You want to take it. But the idea of holding his hand might kill you. You blushed when you accidentally touched his hand. How are you supposed to hold it? You're almost certain that Inuyasha would give you away the second you touch his hand. Your heart might give out before that happens.

"Stay out as late as you want. Just keep us updated if your plans change. We were planning on doing cake and dinner tonight. But no worries if you two end up doing something." Chan explains, eyeing Hyunjin as he makes his way over to you.

"Listen, have fun. But if you need me or any of us for any reason at all, I'll have my phone on all day. One call and I'll be there." Hyunjin whispers into your ear. You silently nod before you bite the bullet and take Jisung's hand.

The two of you leave the house with Inuyasha. You walk silently, hand in hand to the bus stop by your house. You would talk, but you're too focused on keeping yourself calm to try to engage in any conversation.

"Y/n?" Jisung asks suddenly.

"Hmm?" You hum in response, still not sure if you should open your mouth right now.

"Before we go to the aquarium," Jisung turns to face you, "I was wondering if you would want to make one stop first?"

"Where?" You manage to ask, tilting your head to the side slightly.

"I know today's your parents' anniversary as well. So I thought, maybe you'd want to pay them a visit? And I kind of want to pay my respects to them too. Unless you don't want to, then we can just go...That was a dumb idea."

You stop walking, causing both Jisung and Inuyasha to slightly jerk back. Both of them turn and look back at you, concerned.

When was the last time you visited your parents' graves? It's been a while. More than a year. You stopped well before you stopped going outside. Three, maybe four years? It was too much after a while. For a long time, you didn't even know where they were buried. If they even were buried. The owners kept that information to themselves, not wanting to take you on the 2-hour trip to visit your parents. It wasn't until you were adopted by Chan that you found out where they were.

"Sure, we can go there first." You smile fondly at Jisung behind your mask. And still, with your one good eye exposed, he can tell that you are smiling at him.

You sit on the bench in front of the large aquarium tank, sketching all the different fish that swim by you that you can. You're not sure how long you and Jisung have been at the aquarium. Time doesn't seem to exist. And you're not sure if that's because of the lack of clocks or your company. You had to have been there for a few hours at least.

You walked so long that you had to sit down and take a break. Just for a moment. To give your legs a break. And for Inuyasha's sake. You know he's working harder than he normally does. Jisung was right. It's early enough that there aren't too many people around. But still, you were on edge. At least, for the first few hours.

Jisung has been good at calming you down, surprisingly. He kept your hand in his the whole time, giving you a reassuring squeeze every once in a while. Especially in exhibits where there seemed to be a crowd. Or maybe he held your hand for his sake, either way, you no longer mind it.

"Sorry, for making you wait," Jisung says hurriedly as he rushes back to you.

"I'm fine, Hanji." You chuckle. "Was there a line?"

Jisung hands you a drink, a straw, and a small food bag before he crouches down to Inuyasha's level. He places a paper bowl in front of him and opens a water cup, pouring some water for him. Once he puts as much water in the bowl as he can, he joins you on the bench, making sure to sit on your right side. He sighs as he pulls his mask down.

"Not really. It took me a while to find the food stand. And then I forgot where I left you so I panicked for a bit. And then I saw the gift shop—Oh yeah, happy birthday!" Jisung produces a brown paper bag with the name of the aquarium on it.

"You didn't have to get me a gift. The date and flowers are enough. But thank you," You put your food and drink down before taking the gift from Jisung's hands.

"To be honest, I saw it in the window and couldn't help myself. You looked so happy when we were with the baby seals earlier. It was easier to just get it now than to try to pay for it when we're at the gift shop later." He blushes as he watches you pull out the contents of the bag.

Inside the bag, there's a stuffed baby seal plush. Almost as adorable as the real thing. Your heart begins to swell in your chest at the idea of someone seeing something and thinking of you in a positive light. Someone other than family, that is.

"Thank you, I mean it. Seals...just remind me of home a little bit." You say softly, clutching the stuffed animal to your chest.

"Seals in Seoul?" He questions as he takes a sip of his drink.

"No, I didn't grow up here." You shake your head. "I mean, I was born and lived with my parents here. But the group home was in Pohang. Spent most of my life down there. I'm a coastal city girl at heart. We only moved down here because Chan had started his life out here to provide for us."

"So what I'm hearing is that you're a mermaid." He jokes.

"Basically. Except, I have legs and didn't have to give up my voice for it." You turn your head away from Jisung to lift your mask and take a bite of your sandwich. A compromise you've practiced all week to deal with.

"I'm glad. It's such a beautiful voice." He says softly. His eyes are soft and twinkling, his mouth sporting a small smile. It's the same look Chan has on his face when the five of you spend time together.

He means it.

"T-thank you," You sputter, choking on your sandwich. "You're from Incheon, right?"

"Yeah, but we moved to Ampang when I was 8. I moved back when...I was 16." His hand reflexively reaches for your back, rubbing soft circles.

"Malaysia? Wow, international man." You say in awe. The furthest you've ever traveled was from your hometown to here.

"Do you want to travel?'" He asks innocently, his hand still on your back.

You think for a moment. You used to think about traveling a lot when you were younger. Going somewhere, anywhere, that wasn't the group home. Somewhere beautiful and near water. But as time went on, the idea of moving far away diminished, plagued by the new amount of people who would mistreat you just because of how you look. It was hard enough moving to Seoul. Sure, people in Pohang were mean, but they were finally getting used to you. Leaving and having to go through all that again petrified you.

"Kind of. But I'm fine here I think. Do you?"

"I want to travel and live new experiences. And then write songs about them. Eventually, stop writing for other people and write for myself." He turns his attention back to the large fish tank.

"Can I listen to your songs one day? The ones you wrote for yourself?"

"N-no," His eyes are still trained on the fish tank.

"Why? Did you already write one about me?" You tease.

He doesn't respond, just quietly stares at the tank. His neck and ears turning impossibly red.

He absolutely already wrote a song about you.

You can't help but let out a hearty laugh, tilting your head back. At the idea that someone like Jisung wrote a song about you. That someone wrote a song about you in general. The whole notion of it all is silly. It's a normal thing. To go on dates and share life stories like this. You're finally doing something normal. High school you would be shocked. Hell, you from a year ago wouldn't believe you if you told yourself that you are on a date with someone like Jisung. Someone who exudes every definition of the word "attractive." His face, his voice, his personality—all of it is attractive. A man like this shouldn't exist. And yet, here he is. Out on a date with you.

Snap

You freeze as a cool breeze rushes to your face. You tilt your head upright, causing your mask to fall off your face. Your heart begins to jackhammer in your chest. What do you even do? Pick up your mask and quickly try to fix it? Search your bag for a spare, if you even managed to pack one? Try to see if the information desk has one?

But Jisung...you need to move. Do something, anything, before he sees. You take deep, shaky breaths as you try to calm yourself down. The walls feel like they're closing in on you. You wish, more than anything, for the glass of the large tank in front of you to shatter, releasing all 200,000 gallons of water. To be swept away by the current or drowned by it. Whichever would get you out of this situation faster.

badum

Inuyasha stops drinking his water and walks over to you, resting his head on your lap. Even with his grounding, you feel small. Like you're nothing but a speck of dust in this large room. Or at least, you wish you were.

"What's wrong...oh fuck..." Jisung quickly yanks his hand off your back. Almost like he touched a hot pan on the stop. But that's not what makes your heart sink to the pit of your stomach.

It's the look on his face. The way that his eyes are wide circles, transfixed with horror, unable to look away no matter how much he wants to as he looks at you. His lips parted in silent shock. You're not even sure he's breathing right now. It's the same look you've seen on so many faces throughout your life.

Badum

The two of you stare at each other for what feels like years. Jisung's eyes soften as you feel the familiar needle prick behind your eyes. Your breathing quickens as an immense amount of weight fills your chest. Almost like you're in the fish tank and your lungs are filling up with water.

Badum, badum

A tear escapes your eye as your body refuses to move. Jisung slowly raises his hand towards your face. You bite the inside of your lower lip to keep it from trembling. You squeeze your eyes shut, wishing to just disappear as Jisung's hand brushes your bangs out of the way. You quickly jump up, knocking down your drink. You tighten your grip on Inuyasha's lead as you finally gain some control over your limbs.

"I-I-I have t-to go," Your voice wavers, as you refuse to make eye contact with Jisung.

This was a mistake.

"Wait, Y/n—"

Your legs finally take you away as you run as far as they take you. Somehow, you find yourself in a bathroom. You lock yourself in one of the stalls, your back pressing against one of the walls.

You keep replaying it in your head. The feeling of Jisung's hand on your back. How quickly he pulled his hand away from you. The horrified look on his face. All of it burns into your brain. Leaving a permanent scar, like the one etched into your face.

Why do I have to fuck everything up?

You let out a pained, mangled sob as your body slides down the bathroom stall wall, not caring about all the germs on the floor alone. Your whole body shakes as you try to hold in your tears, not wanting to attract any more attention to yourself. Inuyasha climbs over your torso, resting his head on your chest. Your shaky hands fumble around your bag, looking for your phone. You pull it out once your fingers wrap around the cool, rectangular frame and pull it out. Through blurry eyes, you manage to unlock your phone and go to your contacts. You press the top contact name, praying that you dialed the right one.

click

The phone only rings once before Hyunjin picks it up. "What's wrong?"

You can already hear him moving around in the background. He must have been sitting around waiting just in case you called.

"C-can you come pick me up? P-please?" You hiccup, trying to even out your breathing.

"I'm already on my way there. What happened?" You hear a door open on the line. "Give me my keys."

"I just want to go home." You sniffle.

Why am I like this?

"I'm coming to get you right now." You hear the familiar jingling of keys. "Hyung, shut the fuck up for two minutes. I'm trying to figure that out. Y/n, where are you?"

Badum, badum

You take another deep, shaky breath. "The bathroom...at the...the...the aquarium."

"Where's...fuck, what was his name again? Ji..Ji..Jisung! Where's Jisung?" He asks quickly.

Badum, badum

"I-I don't know. I ran away." You mumble.

"You ran away? What did that jerk do?" Changbin asks this time. Hyunjin must have put you on speaker.

Badum, badum

"Nothing! It was me. I messed everything up...Why do I always fuck everything up?" You lean your head down against Inuyasha's, burying your face in his fur.

Inuyasha lets out one, loud bark that echoes around the otherwise empty bathroom.

"Innie, shh, please," You whisper, squeezing your eyes shut as tightly as you can.

You hear rustling on the other end of the line and some hushed whispers.

"Hey, Sunshine, you said you went to the aquarium? What'd you see?" Seungmin asks softly using the nickname he gave you when you were kids. He only uses it in dire situations.

Badum, badum

"I don't wanna talk about fish right now, Minnie. I just want to go home...I should have listened to Jinnie." You mumble.

"We're almost there. Just tell us what you saw." Chan says calmly.

Badum, badum

They're treating you like a child. Like when you were small. It's fitting, it's exactly how you feel right now. Small, and broken like you did all those years ago. This has to be some sort of cosmic punishment. You should have known that this wasn't going to end well. Not while there's some immovable force actively working against you.

"Hey...Y/nnie? You still there?" One of them asks. You're not entirely sure who. You don't really care anymore.

"Trying to remember how to breathe." You respond quickly.

"I made a cake. Or tried to, Hyunjin and Grandpa took over because they're control freaks. And I was going to at least lick the spoon but that tiny gorilla manhandled me."

"Don't want cake." You mumble.

"I didn't make it for you. I made it because I wanted cake. It's going to taste like shit though since I was attacked. I wouldn't eat it. We're going to get food poisoning again."

"Seungmin, shut up, that was one time," Chan says in the background.

They keep you on the line while you sit in the bathroom waiting for them. Every few minutes, you have to decline an incoming call for Jisung, not wanting to deal with him. You're not sure how long you've been sitting in the bathroom waiting. Hours? Impossible, you don't live that far from the aquarium in the first place? A few minutes? Maybe. If Hyunjin is driving, it's possible.

You're out of tears and you're not sure you even have legs anymore. You've been sitting on them so long, that you can't feel them anymore. You're tired, having worked yourself up like this. But the sound of everyone talking to you on the phone helped calm you down a bit. You just really, really want to go home.

"Y/n?" Chan's voice echoes in the bathroom.

You let out a sigh of relief as your hand reaches up to unlock the stall door. You try your best to move out of the way so the door can swing open. Inuyasha walks out the door, revealing you to your brothers and Chan.

Their concerned eyes fall on you. Your tear-stained face is red and splotchy. Your eyes are swollen and tired. Hyunjin is the first to walk to you. He crouches down to your eye level, resting his hand on your cheek.

"Hey, let's go home." He says gently as this thumb brushes under your eye.

"Can't stand. Legs numb." You're tired. Too exhausted both mentally and physically to speak full sentences.

Hyunjin walks into the stall, positioning himself so he can hook your arm around his neck and pull you up. Changbin, realizing what's happening, walks towards you and crouches down.

"Wait," Seungmin says quickly, yanking off his jacket. He shoves Changbin out of the way so he can tie his jacket around your waist. He quietly moves out of the way so you can climb on Changbin's back.

Once he feels like you're secure enough, Changbin slowly stands up. Seungmin's jacket gives you enough coverage in the back. It wouldn't have mattered much, you had shorts on anyway. You bury your face in Changbin's neck as he starts to leave the bathroom. Chan walks out first, holding Inuyashsa's lead. Both Seungmin and Hyunjin are on either side of you. Seungmin's hand falls on your back, rubbing soothing circles on it. You tighten your grip around Changbin's neck a bit as you choke back another sob. It would appear that you're not out of tears.

"What happened to your mask?" Seungmin asks.

"User error," You joke weakly.

Ring, ring

The ringtone you set for Jisung rings again. You have no idea where your phone is, it's definitely not in your hands. You don't really care where it is, to be honest. You just want to go home.

"She's fine, we got her," Hyunjin says cooly before hanging up.

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Taglist

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

@amyyscorner @jiisungllvr @phtogravi @lilcutieana @veedoesntknaur @yongbbokkie @brain-empty-only-draken @thisisnotjacinta @thefangirloncrack @chlodavids @heartz4chuu @sunshinessky @reverse-soe @itshannjisung @angelsandtimelords @zeejones @liknws @marked-unknown @sansona @aaasia111 @jhstayy @aslou @hyunbae-35 @kangaracharacha @skz-streamer @btskzfav @weird-bookworm @jihanniee @everglowdaisies @puppysmileseungmin

[pricetagofficial]

How Far We Fall -D.G.

Warnings: Language, angst, mentions of death, child loss, therapy, trauma, attempted murder, poor Tim is caught in the middle of this

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.6K

A/N: You guys voted for the angst, well you got the angst. I don't actually remember how I came up with this. All I remember is that I wanted to write pain, and well here I am!

I am not sorry, you guys wanted this.

Dick couldn’t believe what he was looking at, here you were in front of him with a dagger to his younger brother’s throat, Tim’s throat, and a murderous look in your eyes. 

He watched as Robin squirmed in your hold, desperate to get away but one wrong move and his throat would be slit and there would be no going back. 

Batman tensed beside him, ready for a fight to save his youngest. Somehow, you had gotten past their security and wormed your way into their lives. Somehow, you fit in so well they didn’t even think twice before accepting you. 

That was their mistake. 

“Y/N–” Dick held a hand out, the glove of his suit palm up as if he was trying to convince you to come back to him. “Let him go, and we can talk about this.” 

“Talk? You want to talk?” you scoffed. “Fine then. Why don’t we talk about the reason why we’re here.” 

After years of planning, this was your moment to get back at the Batman. Back at him for everything you’ve lost because of him and his senseless no-killing rule. If he didn’t have that rule, you wouldn’t be holding his youngest at knifepoint threatening to take his son from him, like he took your daughter. 

How could he have been so blind? So smitten with you, the idea of who you were, Dick gave you everything including his secret identity without so much as batting an eye. 

“Y/N, please–” he pleaded, trying to keep his voice from breaking, “He’s just a kid–” 

“So was my daughter!” you screamed, voice echoing off the walls around you. “She was barely a year old and it’s your fucking fault!” 

Dick stopped in his tracks at your words, what were you talking about? After living with you for the last six months, he would have noticed if you had a kid. 

“What are you talking about?” Dick asked, his eyes not leaving you or Tim. 

Your jaw tensed as your eyes flitted past Dick and stared at the man responsible. “Two years ago, October 31st.” 

Halloween, two years ago? Dick looked behind him towards Bruce; he was in Bludhaven at the time, but he heard how bad it was. The Joker and Mad Hatter decided that blowing up a city block or two and dosing them with gas was a good trick-or-treat gift. Bruce struggled hard and kept Robin inside that night. He was about to open his mouth when Bruce spoke up. 

“You were there,” his voice rumbled through the air making your nerves stand on end. 

“Of course I was there.” you hissed. “I was trapped in the rubble for 4 hours, another 3 before they found her.” 

Dick didn’t miss the way your voice wavered, nor the way your grip loosened on the knife. Tim didn’t seem to either, before steadying himself on his feet. 

“I lost the most important person in my life because you can’t keep your fucking city in check.” Your grip on Tim’s cape tightened, pulling him back into you. “And now I’ll take someone important to you.” 

Batman let out an audible growl before Dick jumped between him and yourself. 

“Y/N stop! Think this through!” 

“I have thought it through,” you spoke, voice unnaturally calm despite the circumstances. “You were my original target, Dick.” 

Dick’s blood ran cold at your words, you were planning to kill him? 

 You laughed. “But somehow you wriggled your way into my heart and I couldn’t kill you, so I had to improvise.” 

“So you kidnap a child to prove a point?” 

“I’m fourteen,” 

“Not now, Tim.”

You hardened your gaze, “There’s no going back for me, Dick. This is where it ends.” 

Daring to take a step towards you, Dick pulled the mask off his eyes. 

“Nightwing–” 

“Bruce now is not the time.” Turning his attention back on you, Dick kept a calm look on his face despite the terror coursing through him. He failed one brother, he couldn’t fail another. 

“Come back with me. Let Tim go and we can go home and forget this ever happened.” 

You scoffed. “Do you think I’m stupid? I know how this works. The second I let the kid go, he’s going to go running to you while Batman leaves me a bloody pulp for the police to find.” 

Dick sighed, dropping his head before he looked at you once more. “You’re right, we can’t just forget this. But we can get you help, get you to the right people.” 

Pressing the knife to Tim’s throat, you felt him tense under your hold. “I’m not going to that hellhole you call Arkham.” 

Taking another step, Dick shook his head. “No, not Arkham. But the second you hurt Tim, I can’t stop them from sending you there.” 

Swallowing hard, you took a look around. What were you doing? Dick had a point, Tim was a child no matter how many times he pointed out to you how old he was. Were you really going to kill him because Batman was responsible for the death of your baby?

Meeting Dick’s eyes again, you could see why he removed the mask. It was so you could see the expression in them, the longing, the hope that you would let his brother go and take his hand. 

The blue in his eyes stood out in the darkness around you, almost matching the blue of his suit. After all this, did he really think the two of you could go back to what you were before? He really trusted you enough not to try something like this again?

“Trust me, Y/N. Please?” 

Hearing those words, you dropped the knife. 

Immediately, Tim darted forward past Dick to Bruce. Dick was on his knees, catching you as your weight gave in and you collapsed into his arms. 

Unable to stop the tears, you cried into Dick’s chest. “It’s not fair!” 

Running a hand through your hair, Dick held you as you cried. Placing a kiss on the crown of your head, he closed his eyes. 

“I know baby, I know it’s not.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Months passed and true to his word, Dick got you the help you needed without going to Arkham. Your relationship was strained but on the mend. No matter how much he promised it would all be okay, you knew they wouldn’t forget let alone forgive the fact that you tried to kill Tim out of revenge. 

You lost count of how many times you apologized to him and Bruce, knowing it wouldn’t change a thing. Not for a while at least. 

Keeping your part of the promise, you sought help professionally at least once a week. Your session that afternoon wasn’t bad, but it was exhausting. Recounting the events of that Halloween to someone again drained all the energy you had left within you.

You were currently standing on the balcony of your apartment when you heard a soft thud behind you. Hearing the sound of light footsteps behind you, you felt a pair of hands rest on your shoulders. 

“Hey, what are you doing up this late?” 

Dick’s voice was tired but laced with worry, worry for you and your sleeping habits. He must have just finished his patrol for the night. 

Placing a hand on his, you smiled softly. It meant a lot that Dick stuck around when anyone else would have left you by this point. You felt a pair of lips brush your cheek before you were pulled back into his hold, warm and safe. 

“I’m okay, Dickie.” you hummed. “Just thinking I guess,” 

You didn’t have to see the look on Dick’s face to know that he was frowning. 

“You should be asleep,” he started. 

“I tried,” 

Dick sighed and rested his head on your shoulder. “I know it’s hard when I’m not there, but you have to try.” 

“Dick please, don’t start this tonight,” you begged, turning to bury your face in his chest. “I don’t have the energy for it.” 

Wrapping his arms around you fully, Dick held you close. The nightmares must have been bad this time if you were refusing to try again without him near you. Placing a kiss on the top of your head, Dick led you inside. 

“Alright, let me just get changed and we can catch some z’s together okay?” 

Nodding slowly, you let go of him but kept a grip on his fingers. The only time you let go of his hand was when he had to pull off his suit. Once he had sweats on, Dick pulled you along to the couch and rested you on top of his chest. 

Slowly you melted into his warmth as he turned on the T.V. letting the old reruns play as you listened to the sound of his heartbeat. 

Now that Dick knew the full story, he could see all the symptoms and signs you gave him from the very beginning. It was surprising how he missed them in the first place, with the way you left things around the place it was almost as if you wanted to be caught before it was too late. 

After a while, he heard the soft sounds of your breath against his bare chest and smiled softly. This was the only way you could sleep, with him next to you. Dick promised he was going to help you, and help is what you were going to get. 

Of course, Dick got the biggest lecture from Bruce, for the millionth time about why we don’t flaunt secret identities around. But Dick knew he could trust you. What he wanted to know was if you could trust him. 

Dick knew that death and loss made people do crazy things, he had been down that path before when his parents died, and again when Jason died. It was a hard one to come back from, but Dick planned on being there for you every step of the way, for as long as you would let him.

@bluejay-the-geek @niggxrette @offendedfishnoises @restwellsoon @littleredwing89

[thewritingofspencerrose]

ok but why am I hooked on that criminology x Jack Hughes blurb.

Like imagine something Happens that makes the news and she’s there as an agent but Jack is so nervous he makes him and Luke watch the live news coverage from their house while he stares at his phone, waiting for a text from her.

ooooh i love that y'all are loving criminology x Jack, because I'm really loving writing it

WARNING: Unlike the last one where I was able to leave details of the case out, there are a few details in this one that may be uncomfortable for some people. Please read with that in mind 🫶

Incoming Call : Captain O' Captain (1)

Incoming Call : Huggy (3)

Incoming Call: Mom (2)

"Luke, dude, what's with all the calls I missed?" Jack asks his brother, still running a towel through his damp hair.

"Do you have any missed calls from Crim?" Is Luke's response instead, eyes just barely glancing up from his phone that is held in a death tight grip.

"No? It's 1 in the afternoon Kid, you know she's at work," But Jack's chest is getting tight, that feeling of something being wrong washing over him as he looks over the state his brother is in.

"That's what I'm worried about," Luke mumbles, handing his phone to his brother, and when he sees the headline from the one news app on the kid's phone, he understands why everyone was trying to reach him. Why Luke is so tense. Why he feels this intense dread.

FBI Profilers Held In Intense Standoff

"Luke, put on the news. Now."

"What do you think I'm doing?"

"Don't-" Jack interrupts, dropping the towel he'd been using on his hair on the kitchen stool and dropping onto the sofa. "I'm sorry - I just need to see who's in there."

Luke knows he doesn't mean to be harsh about it, but they both know in their heads that there's no good answer when Luke turns on the TV. Either Crim, the woman Jack is hopelessly in love with and Luke loves like a sister is in that building, a man with a gun holding her and her coworkers hostage, or she's not, but the coworkers that she loves like family are.

And Jack can't help but hope it's the second, because the idea that she's in danger makes him want to cry, or throw up, or both.

"Here, this is the news channel it's on," Luke offers, long frame dropping onto the couch beside his older brother and pulling him into his side.

Jack's always been there for him, but he needs someone to be there for him right now.

"It's just in that the 3 members of a 5 person team of profilers who were in town to investigate anonymous threats have been taken hostage in the very library where the threats had been left. The hostage negotiator has arrived, and now it is just up to time to see how this standoff plays out.

And it took 4 and a half hours for the final report to come through : "All profilers remain safe after suspect turns himself in."

It had been 4 and a half hours of no word from Crim. From the team.

Of sitting on the phone with his mom crying. Of sitting on the phone with her mom, also crying.

But even the news report wasn't calming when there was no word from her.

Until there was.

Jack was still on the phone with his mom when the call came through, her name on the screen leaving him to simply hang up with no warning.

He'd apologize later.

"Baby?" His scratchy voice asks, stirring Luke from the sleeping position he hand managed where he was folded onto the couch.

"Crim?" Is the younger boys question, earning a nod in response.

"We're all okay," Is the girls sobbed response, Jack's heart breaking even more. "We're getting on the plane in half an hour, should be landing around 9-"

"I'll be in the lot to pick you up," Jack is quick to interrupt.

She sighs on the other end, knowing it'll be late but also not having the heart to tell him no. "Jack-"

"Baby, I just have to see you. To hold you, please let me pick you up," He nearly begs.

"If you don't mind, I would love that," She gives in, breathing choppy.

"I'll be there, just... fly safe, okay? You scared me today," He admits, earning a hit to his arm from Luke. "Luke is making sure I mention you scared him too," He can't help but laugh lightly, shaking his head while she chuckles too.

"I scare myself too," She admits, voice quiet. "I love you. Both of you."

"We love you too Baby, I'll see you at the airport."

these continue to get longer and longer... i might have to actually make an oc for this at some point... thoughts?

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Eye in the sky pt.4

Reader(codename: eagle) x König.

König was too weak to fight, now both are prisoner, but not for too long, König will do anything to keep you safe, no one will put a hand on you if they don't want to lose it.

«EAGLE, BEHIND!»

«König! Ahhh» «get your fuckin' hands off of me bastard!»... «Send her to sleep».

Cold water woke up König from his "nap", he was sitting in a metallic chair, two men standing up in front of him, the first thought that popped up on his mind was you.

- Where's...?

- who? Your comrade? I don't think you're in position to ask questions, although... That buddy is hard to break, refusing to speak, maybe you will be different, huh? Because if you don't cooperate, I'll start to play with your partner, I don't think you want that.

Now... Tell me, what were you doing there? What were you looking for?.

König laughed at his face, they think he will be easy, even if they try to use you to obtain information, he will not speak.

- Am I funny?. You! Bring more water and you! electric wire, now.

So they're planning to use electrocution as a first method, they're desperate. Another cold water bucket ran through König's body, he's ready, he's more than prepared for this and worse.

- It doesn't need to be in this way dude, just answer and we won't make you suffer.

- Ja, if this is what you call suffering, go ahead... I have the entire day. Idiot.

And König wasn't lying, of course it hurt, of course his skin was burning, of course he was exhausted but he knew it was better to keep them distracted, away from you. By the end of the day, they took him to a cell.

You heard someone's laugh, you can't believe what you're hearing, you stood up and there he was, König was dragged in the cell in front of you. He laughs and says something in German «Ihr seid alle tote Männer» (y'all are dead men) While the others close the cell. Once they left, you tried to get close to the entrance of your cell, the chain keeps you away.

- König? What happened? Are you ok?

- all good Maus, and you? Did they hurt you?

- I'm not easy to break, I'm okay. How is your wound?

- I think it's fine, after the electrocution it's probably already healed...

He laughed, why is he laughing? What did they say to those guys?

- Tell me what it looks like.

- Not now Maus, I'm tired.

-What did you say to those guys?

-Don't worry Maus, no one will hurt you as long as I keep them busy. Although, we will escape soon.

- König...?

- Ja?

- it's maybe not the right Moment, but... I think... I think I'm in love with you.

Silence, silence in that strange basement prison, maybe you really confessed your feelings in the worst moment.

-How can you be so sure?

-Because I feel the urgency to be close to you, to look at you, touch you...

-You still don't know me well Schatz.

-If we survive... I'll have plenty of time to do it.

He chuckled and muttered.

- I'll take you out of this place Maus, I promise.

No one of you knew when you fell asleep but a new day arrived, the sound of chains and someone being suffocated, then silence.

- Maus!?

- It's... Okay, I'm okay König.

- What's going on?

- Nothing, someone thought could take advantage of my situation.

-What?

-He came and tried to...

More men came in.

«Well, well, well... That... was one of my best men»

-He wasn't very smart.

«Bring her upstairs we will play a little»

König stood up and tried to convince them to leave you alone. Unfortunately, he couldn't. A few hours later you went back, and same as König, you were laughing about them, they're desperate you know your team will come, soon or later.

- Meine Liebe, how are you?

- I'm good, just tired... They tried to drown me, anyway, How's your wound?

- It's better, we'll leave this place soon.

-Really? What's the plan?

-They look desperate, they will try to hurt you and use you to convince me to give information... just if they're stupid enough as I think, the rest is merely improvisation, fight, kill and leave.

- Sounds like all will be improvisation König.

- indeed Meine Liebe.

And just as König said, they went back and took both of you upstairs, you're in front of König, he's sitting in that chair, a man holding his shoulders as if that was enough to contain a man like König, while the other is holding your hands on your back.

- you, undress yourself.

You weren't expecting that.

- Excuse me?

He pointed his gun to you and repeated the order. So you did, there you were in underwear, König devoured you with his eyes you can also see the anger since he's not the only one observing every curve of your body.

- Well, you're such a pretty thing, huh? What do you think, Big boy? something so pretty shouldn't suffer any damage.

- Don't listen to him... I'm not easy to break.

You look with a lot of self-confident, sure that you can handle the situation.

- Look at her! She's a psycho. Okay if you feel strong enough and he refuses to talk, we'll play a little game, there's 2 bullets here, you have 3 chances to talk, or she will get hurt.

König doesn't even try to answer, he just nodded at you. There's a vibe in the air, adrenaline, danger, you don't know it yet.

First chance to talk, König doesn't say anything, second chance, nothing.

- Alright, I'm tired of this.

He pointed and shoot you in your shoulder, you can feel your skin burning, your bones hurt but you tried to not make a sound, König's body is tense, every time more and more.

- Not even a sound, last chance to talk or this bullet will go directly to the head...

König looks at you, nodded one more time, you know he's ready to do something, even with the pain you get ready too.

It was quick. He untied himself, breaking his thumbs then putting them in place again, took the man behind him and broke his neck. Before someone else in the room could react you pushed the man behind you and hit him with your head, a kick to another one, König took the man with the gun In his hands, unarmored him and threw the gun at your side, you shot at the men you previously hit, and dressed as quick as possible but your eyes were focused on könig, he has the head of the man between his hands and he started to press it, more and more until a «CRACK» and a last scream filled the room.

- Nobody hurts my Maus.

König looked at you and before he could say something you jumped to him, you don't even feel the pain of the bullet in your shoulder, you hugged him, he returned the hug, you looked up and he looked at you, he looked afraid but then you saw him, he took off his mask. He's beautiful, the scar that goes from his lip to his eyebrow accentuates his facial features, he kissed your forehead and nose, then your cheek and finally left a soft kiss on your lips.

Alarm sound interrupted you, and steps outside the room where you were. He put the mask on again, and both hide at a side of the door.

«Sir! We have problems, enemies are out...!»

Once he gave a step inside the room, könig kicked him, the poor man was on the floor and you didn't even hesitate to shoot. Both went out, running through the halls, killing whoever that appears on your way, the adrenaline inside you, König running at your side, both fighting side to side, this is the kind of love that you always dreamed about, full of adrenaline, adventure. Once you were outside you noticed blood in König's abdomen, it's his own blood, the wound is bleeding again and your shoulder is in pain again.

- fuck... Ahhh

- Let me see Schatz.

- No, I'm fine, let's get out of here you're bleeding again... We need to...

«KÖNIG?» you heard someone's voice, both turned around... Horangi and Roze were the intruders. «We found them, we're on the way back to the rendezvous»

Roze approached you.

- Doc, you're alive...

- Yeah, we need a medical kit, König has a deep wound that refuses to heal, let's go.

Horangi ran at König's side and helped him to walk, once you arrived, you noticed your team giving assistance to the hostages from the first mission, Price was the first one to notice you, he ran and hugged you

- are you alright Kid?

- could be better, Captain we need a quick extraction, König is seriously injured.

He nodded and left, then the rest of the boys ran to you and König, even Ghost...

He approached König and extended his hand to him, König accepted the interaction and both nodded at each other.

- I have to thank you, you kept Eagle alive, also looks more alive than ever before.

- it's not as fragile as you think, the doc was the one who kept both alive...

Both looked at you, You let Soap see your wound, you and him were discussing the bullet extraction, he wanted to do it right there and you were refusing. Before you left, Ghost talked with you.

-You look good Doc.

- Thanks, I like the adrenaline Lt.

- You love him, Don't you?

- I do, how did you...

- You look at him differently, there's a different spark in you when he's around.

- Ghost I...

- No, it's fine, if you're happy, I'm happy.

You nodded, both shook hands, the helicopter arrived, you and König left, you took care of his wound and stayed at his side during the recovery.

- Danke Maus, you didn't need to stay all the time, you were hurt too.

- it wasn't really serious, and it's nothing, tho if you still want to pay the debt, I'm available after 5, we can go to dinner.

He laughed and then held your hand and kissed it, then he nodded and whispered «Meine Liebe, mein Leben, Mein Liebling.»

There it is, that flame in your chest, he's the only one who can make you feel in that way, desire, adrenaline, peace, all in one and all at the same time, only him.

[riaisnotok]

☆ ARCADIA

(Enjoy this one from my Wattpad, I'm still working on requests)

2007! Tom x fem! reader (males are welcome too)

Warning ⚠: Angst, S3lf-harm

— unedited

You and Tom have been together for 4 years. But lately you've noticed that Tom behaves more strangely with you and most nights he's often gone. Which made you suspect something.

Tonight, you stay in bed and wait for him to come home. He said he went to the studio, but you don't believe him anymore. You once went to the studio and there was no one but Bill and Georg there, and when you called him he said he was at the studio even though he wasn't.

It was already 2 o'clock in the morning and Tom wasn't at home even now, maybe he cheats on me, you thought. You think about calling him again, but even now he doesn't answer.

Suddenly he heard the front door slam, "Coming at this hour Tom?" You said to yourself and got up from the bed and went to see what Tom was doing. When you came out of your bedroom you saw Tom dead drunk with a tall thin woman next to him with dirty blonde hair. Shre was holding his arm so that he wouldn't fall. That woman looks at you with a disgusted face and whispers to Tom:

"You said you're single" But Tom was too numb to understand. The woman puts Tom down on the sofa. "Leave him alone, whore!" You told that woman. "And who are you little girl? You look like you're 14, pffff!" She said laughing at you. Her words really hurt you and a tear ran down your cheeks. How can Tom cheat on you with such a woman?

"Go away!" You shouted at her, took the nearest object to you and threw it at her. "You're CRAZY, bitch!" She said running out the door. You quickly closed the door and locked it.

"Tom?" You sat down on the couch next to him. Tom had already fallen asleep and didn't answer you anymore. You lifted him from the sofa and took him to the bedroom, like a good "girlfriend" you dressed him in pajamas and covered him with the duvet. Tomorrow when he wakes up you want to know everything, he can't hide this thing anymore.

All night you thought about what woman Tom could cheat on you with, and about those words. Do you really look like a 14 year old girl? Is that why Tom is cheating on you with a whore who looks like a 50-year-old woman when he's only 23?

You can't anymore, it's already 5 in the morning and you can't sleep at all, you keep thinking that maybe people think you're 14 and you're dating an adult. You got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

"I look like a 14 year old girl..." You said looking in the mirror.

You trrned your head to the bathroom cabinet, went to it and open it, you took the blade.

WARNING! If this part triggers you, you can skip it! TW: SH

You took the blade in your hand, pulled up the sleeve of your blouse, put the blade on your hand. Tears flowed from your eyes, you loved Tom and he didn't. He cheated on you with a cheap street whore. You feel hurt, you couldn't imagine Tom would do such a thing, especially to you. You really thought he loved you, but actually he was hanging out with cheap whores at night instead of staying at home with you.

You fell on the cold floor of the bathroom, blood was flowing from your veins. You really think that this is not the first time he does this, how many nights he was not with you in bed and he was with bitches. You don't understand why he is like that, why he goes to bitches when he has you at home. You've also asked Bill many times if he knows where Tom goes these nights when he's not at home next to you in bed, but he doesn't know either. Tom doesn't even say anything to his brother. You can't anymore, Tom is already starting to destroy you mentally.

"Y-Y/N?"

That voice, those steps...

TOM.

You quickly get up from the floor and cover your hand, you quickly closed the door. "Y/N!" He was still a little under the influence of alcohol, but he was more sober than a few hours ago. "N/N are you there?" He asked knocking on the door. Maybe he wanted to throw up, who knows, but you still don't open the door for him.

“Y/N open please…” You finally opened the door. Tom looked at your face and leaned in to give you a kiss but you pulled away. "N/N…?"

"Tom...go back to sleep..." You left the bathroom and went back to the bedroom, hoping that Tom would come too.

The next day you didn't have the courage to ask him who that bitch was, but tonight you want to spy on him to see what he does at night when he's not at home and comes late at night.

It was time to leave home, it was 10 o'clock at night, You were pretending to sleep.

You heard the front door open and close, then you jumped out of bed and got dressed quickly. You dressed in black so you could be harder to see in the dark of the night. You quickly put on your shoes and rushed out the door. You locked the door and saw Tom on the street corner, and with that two-penny cheap whore. Wait...

That was not the same woman....it was another, a redhead with short hair, short and thin. This man really goes to whores. Suddenly you see them kissing, how gross.

"The jerk he cheats on me again!" You whispered looking at your watch. "Where are they going after this?" You saw how they started to walk, you followed them.

On the way to who knows where they are going, you saw that 3 more girls came and among them was that dirty blonde and 2 tall brunettes. Then you saw that they were heading together to an adult store. Tom and the blonde entered it. After a few minutes they came out, you looked to see if they bought anything. The blonde was holding a net with sex toys (😭 kms).

All 5 then went to a hotel where you don't even want to know what they did... you could hear all the screams and moans from outside.

You felt so disgusted that your boyfriend cheats on you with 4 cheap whores every night and also lies about going to the studio. You called Bill to tell him what his brother was doing. He couldn't believe it. "Tom is stupid." Bill said.

You asked him if he could come and encourage you, he agreed.

After a few minutes, Bill arrived at the hotel. "So you want to tell me that he entered the hotel with 4 women?" He asked, he was a little surprised. But you were hurt and angry, your heart was broken in pieces. Tom thought you wouldn't notice, but his plan with the studio didn't work out. Maybe next time Tom, who knows ;)

You and Bill both waited until Tom left the hotel with those women. "TOM." You said walking towards him, Bill was behind you if anything happened.

Tom's eyes widened when he saw that you suddenly appeared in front of him. "Y/N! IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS!" He said scared. "For months now you've been cheating on me with these 4 cheap whores." You submitted by pointing the finger. They sigh deeply when they hear what you told them. "I'm sorry Y/N. It's not happening again!" He said, tears flowing from his eyes down his cheeks and down to the ground. The 4 women ran away quickly, they really didn't want to be involved.

"Tom it's happened so many times, I can't believe you anymore. We'll end it here." You said you took off the necklace he gave you 3 years ago for your birthday, and you put it in his hands. "I can't forgive you, Tom. You have hurt me enough. Time to go separate ways, so you can go to your cheap whores more often." You said leaving from there. Bill offered to take you back home.

Tom made the biggest mistake of his life. And now the girl he "loved" leaves him after 4 years of relationship.

Tom now feels empty, he made a mistake. It's his fault.

It's his fault, only his fault. He shouldn't have talked to those women in the first place.

You and Tom haven't kept in touch anymore, just you and Bill. Your life has become sunnier since then, without problems, without suspicions, without Tom...

[lovely-peace]

Frozen sun

Summary: Reader is madly in love with Remus and even confesses to him, but he doesn't answer....

Warnings: seemingly unrequited love but not really?? Angstyyy

~I know it's 'proposed' instead of 'confessed' , but I changed that to match the story. Part 2 part 3 masterlist~ part 4 part 5 part 6

I didn't know how I managed to bring up the courage to confess. Don't know how I managed to get here, but here I am.

"I love you."

O sol pediu a Lua em casamento (the sun confessed to the moon)

Remus was surprised. He looked at me with wide eyes as if he didn't realize what I just said.

"What?"

My courage began to fade, but I was now here I couldn't back down.

"I love you, Remus."

My voice was slightly breaking at the end of my confession and I hoped that he didn't notice. I began to look down. He didn't seem happy about my confession.

The silence that followed spoke louder than any rejection could.

"Do you love me too?" I asked with a little hope.

He was silent and didn't look at me. He seemed to fight with himself.

I watched as he opened his mouth and hoped so so much that it won't hurt me. He said :

E a lua, dissed 'Não sei, não sei, não sei. Me dá um tempo' (the moon said)

"I don't know. Give me some time."

~2 months later ~

After the gryffindor's won the Quidditch cup they threw a party and everyone was invited even slytherins. After my confession Remus and I haven't spoken about it again. It was almost like he avoided the topic. But he gave me hope. So I wanted to confront him today at the party.

I searched for him everywhere but it was almost like he was avoiding me. Like he knew what I wanted to say.

After a while I began to drown my hopes in alcohol. AND I KNOW THAT'S NOT GOOD. But I was disappointed. I was hurting.

I gave my empty glass to the guy at the bar and said :" New one please."

However at this moment I heard the voice I searched the whole evening right behind me.

"Why are you drowning yourself in alcohol?"

Because of you.

"Don't know." was what I said instead.

Remus sighed. "Let's get you out of here." He took my arm and helped me to stand up. I stumbled over my own feet and my vision was blurred. I was done for the day.

He brought me to the common room where it was quiet. The couch was empty so he let me lay down there. In that moment I couldn't think. I just said what came to my mind and didn't think about my doubts or fears.

O sol pediu a Lua em casamento (the sun confessed to the moon)

"You are really pretty."

Remus was silent again. But right now that didn't bother me. I was slowly drifting in my dreams but I still didn't shut up.

"I really love you. Do you- do you love me too?"

Remus tucked me in and looked away.

E a lua, dissed 'Não sei, não sei, não sei. Me dá um tempo' (the moon said)

"I don't know... I don't know. Give me some time. "

That were the last words I heard that night.

~the next day~

E 24 horas depois o sol nasceu a Lua se pos e... (24 hours went by and the sun went up and the moon went down and...)

I was frustrated with myself but mostly with Remus. We both avoided the topic my whole life began to revolve around. We acted like friends and the others didn't seem to know.

But I wasn't happy with that. Call me greedy but I couldn't go on with this. I couldn't wait.

It was almost the end of the year and I couldn't go in the holidays with my question unanswered. I didn't want, didn't could. So when James, Sirius, Mary, Lily, Remus and me went to hogsmead I waited for the right opportunity to ask him.

James ran after Lily who escaped from his flirting ( but was secretly loving it) and when Sirius and Mary went after both of them I wanted to take the opportunity.

"Remus wait."

He stopped but didn't look at me.

O sol pediu a lua em casamento(the sun confessed to the moon)

"Please answer me... I love you! I love you so much it hurts... Do you love me too??"

E a lua, disse (the moon said)

And he said the same words.

Não sei, não sei, não sei

"I don't know. I don't know...

Me dá um tempo

Give me some time. "

That was the final blow. I couldn't go on and pretend everything was alright. So I excused myself to go to the toilet. Remus didn't stop me.

I cried and cried and cried. For hours. People went by, some stopped. But no one asked why I was crying my heart out.

No one cared.

The others didn't look for me it was like they forgot about me.

Only Remus stood right behind the door and waited for me, but I couldn't go out. He didn't ask me what was wrong and I didn't ask him why he didn't leave.

I fell asleep right next the toilet that night. The next morning I didn't speak to Remus. He didn't speak to me.

I couldn't go on like this. So I ignored him. I ignored my feelings, my love for him. I shut it all down.

So that some day I would overcome him.

O sol congelou seu coração...

(the sun froze his heart...)

[aanoia]

Yes (pt. 2 to "No")

James Potter x reader

Summary: James finally gets a yes and makes sure you don't regret it

Warnings; none, js super fluffy and sweet

Ft. My trip to nursery today ⚘️

Lowkey LOVE this, I hate how short it came out but that's okayy

Thanks to an acc I cannot find to tag and @herejustforjj for helping me out! You will have your angsty fluff ending probably the next part!!!

I might make an optional pt. 3, optional bc I want it to be angsty, like, sad ending, but idkkk

I might actually make a pt. 3 where there's some angst and then fluff and THEN an optional pt. 4. I rly dk

Pt. 1 here!

Y/n rolled her eyes, “Fine.” 

James' eyes lit up, looking like a little kid on Christmas, “Really?” He asked tentatively, his voice quiet. Y/n smiled at him softly and nodded.

“Really.” She whispered to him and laughed as he flew up, arms in the air as he whooped and jumped around excitedly. 

He paused, his face flushed and glasses crooked on his face, “It will be the best date you have ever been on. You have my word.” He promised, holding his pinky out.

Y/n linked hers with his, “I’ll hold you to that.”

He clutched tightly onto the girl's finger, lifting her up so I was standing and pulling her into a bone crushing hug. Y/n could feel the ecstatic energy radiating from his skin. He gave one last squeeze before letting go, winking and running off, probably to plan their date. 

Y.n sat back down with a shake of her head, a permanent smile imprinted on her face. This should be fun.

James held tightly onto Y/n’s pinky which was linked with his as the pair walked down the busy streets of Hogsmeade.

“So, what’s your plan here, James?” Y/n asked, moving a strand of hair out of her eyes.

He smiled, “I love it when you call me James.”

She snorted, “That’s your name, is it not?”

“It is, but it sounds so much better when you say it. And you used to call me Potter, but it’s just James.” He smiled proudly.

“Okay, just James, where are we going?” Y/n asked and he grinned.

“It's a surprise, of course.” He teased, swinging their hands back and forth before he stopped in front of a bookstore. James stepped in front of Y/n and opened the door, unlinking their pinkies. He bowed slightly and held his hand out to help her up the step, “After you, m’lady.”

Y/n laughed and took his hand, “Why thank you, kind sir.” 

The cold air of the bookstore was a nice contrast to the hot sun outside, and Y/n took a deep breath, happiness filling her body as soft jazz music filled the store. Y/n smiled and waved softly to the owner of the bookstore who had her nose buried in a book as she sipped from her coffee mug, her gray hair pulled back into a bun. She smiled back, glancing at James who stumbled over his feet as he came through the door and then winking at her. Y/n shook her head with a silent laugh, grabbing onto his hand and bringing him to her favorite section in the bookstore as he followed blindly.

“Wait.” He said quietly, not wanting to ruin the calm atmosphere of the store. “Here’s what’s gonna happen, alright?”

Y/n giggled softly, taking a step closer so she had to look up to look into his eyes, “What’s gonna happen?” She whispered with a smile.

“You’re gonna grab as many books as your heart desires, okay? And then you’re gonna tell me which one you’re most excited to read, and I’m going to take it and read it and leave you cute little notes, so when you read it you’re thinking of me the entire time.” He told the girl softly and she nodded, happiness blooming in her chest. Maybe this boy, as persistent and arrogant he is, isn’t that bad. 

After half an hour of the two looking over new books and Y/n explaining the ones she had already read to James, who watched her lovingly and listened attentively, Y/n had chosen four books, of which James insisted he carry. They walked to the front desk and James gently placed them down, flashing the owner a smile before Y/n began rummaging in her bag for money as she looked over the choices. Y/n thanked her quietly as she told me the price, still trying to find her wallet.

“Here you go, ma’am.” James said and Y/n looked up to see him handing the owner some coins.

“Wait, no, James, I’ll pay.” She insisted but he shook his head.

“No can do.” He smiled and grabbed the bag from the owner before waving her goodbye and grabbing Y/n’s hand, leading her out of the shop, the bag softly thumping against his toned thighs. Oh, those quidditch thighs.

“Thank you, James.” Y/n said as they once again walked through the streets.

“Don’t thank me just yet, sweetheart.” He said and pulled her along hurriedly. “Food time.” He said with a smile as they neared a circle of trees, he went behind the girl. “This, my love, is when you go blind.” Y/n smiled as his warm, calloused hands went over her eyes and he carefully led her through the trees, the bag of books hanging from the inside of his elbow. “Careful, there's a fallen branch right there.” James whispered softly in Y/n’s ear, causing warmth to flood her body.

“Thank you.” She said back, equally as quiet as the birds happily chirped around them.

“Okay, you can stop walking now.” He said and she did as told. “Three, two, one.” he removed her hands and she gasped, her hand going to cover her mouth as she looked at the sight before her eyes. Candles floated in the air like they did in the Great Hall and there was an elegant red and white picnic blanket covered in an array of food. James gently led her to the picnic blanket and laid down on his side as Y/n sat with her legs outstretched.

James propped himself up with his elbow, “So?” he asked.

“James, it’s- it’s beautiful.” Y/n admitted, feeling very grateful she finally said yes to his consistent asking.

“Not as beautiful as you.” He said and winked, before quickly grabbing a chocolate covered strawberry. “Cringy, I know, but eat it. They’re good.” He encouraged, reaching up and bringing it to her lips, trying to push past them. Y/n laughed through her nose as she tried to keep her lips shut before giving in and taking a bite.

She groaned as she relished the flavor, “Strawberries are so good.” James nodded in agreement.

“You should read to me.” James said, grabbing the book bag and passing it to her, before readjusting himself and laying his head in Y/n’s lap. She smiled and grabbed one of the books, opening it with her right hand and letting her left gently play with a strand of James’ hair.

After a few moments of reading quietly to James, Y/n spared a glance at the forest in front of her and gasped quietly, urging James to look over. Standing just in view were a doe and stag, lovingly rubbing their heads together. Y/n, not knowing anything about the importance of a stag in James’ life, thought it was just a cute coincidence. James, however, knew it had to be a sign.

“One last stop.” James said, once again, for what seemed like the thousandth time, led Y/n by hand through the less busy streets of Hogsmeade.

“You really went all out, didn’t you?” Y/n asked and James nodded.

“Of course I did, the most magnificent girl on Earth said yes to date, I had to make sure she knew how special she was.” He answered, looking ahead. Something Y/n was thankful for as she was sure her face turned tomato red.

After just a moment they neared a large open area with many greenhouses.

“A nursery?” Y/n questioned, not knowing Hogsmeade even had one.

James smiled proudly, looking back at her, “Mhm! A little birdy, who goes by the name of Sirius, told me how much you loved flowers, so I figured you’d like to come here.” He said as he dragged her past the entrance and into the endless aisles of flowers. 

“James, the flamingo flies!” Y/n said excitedly as she pointed at the metal flamingo whose body was swaying slightly in the wind, giving it the impression of flying.

“I wish I could fly.” James said. “That would be so cool.”

Y/n snorted, “James, you can fly.”

James stood in confusion for a moment before his eyes lit up as he remembered his broomstick, “Oh, yeah!”

“So, which is your favorite?” James asked and Y/n smiled as she spotted them and led him to them.

“Forget me nots.” She informed him, looking at the flower with a happy glint in her eyes.

“Ah, well, fear not, fair maiden. Forget you, I will not.” James said with a funny face and Y/n laughed at his ridiculousness. 

The two walked around, gazing at the flowers and admiring their beauty. James watched Y/n with a soft smile as her fingers grazed the petals with the utmost gentleness, barely even bending the fragile beauty. In a moment of love, he grabbed her hand and spun her in a circle, careful not to let her fall into the flowers. She laughed giddily as her hands went to James’ shoulders to steady her. The two made eye contact, their hearts beating in sync as their faces neared each other. Y/n could feel James’ breath fan against her face and the warmth radiating from his lips as they got closer. In a quick moment, their lips touched as fireworks went off around them. 

However, everything was silenced and the two pulled away quickly as a grouchy old lady cleared her throat, annoyed at the two lovesick teens for blocking the aisle. James cleared his throat as well before bowing his head at the woman with a tightlipped smile, obviously trying to hold in his laughter.

“We’re sorry, ma’am. We’ll be on our way.” He said before grabbing Y/n’s hand and rushing past the old woman. After they were a good enough distance from her they burst out laughing, finding the situation absolutely hilarious. 

James groaned with an open mouth smile, running a hand over his face, messing up his glasses. Y/n took a step closer to the boy and gently fixed his glasses, a proud smile on her face when they were perfectly straight. 

“You want to buy some flowers, flower?” James asked softly and Y/n nodded with a smile. “Forget me nots it is, so you never forget me.”

Y/n smiled, “You’re right. I’ll always remember you.”

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Other Parts: Part One, Part Three (short version), Part Three (long version) and Part Four.

Finnick was woken by a loud knock on his door. He startled and was confused as to where he was, then he saw you and relaxed. He took some deep breaths to calm his rapidly beating heart and checked his watch. It was 12:00 in the afternoon! You'd both slept in hours after your shifts started. The door went again and he was annoyed at how loud it was. He didn't want it to wake you! So he got up as carefully but quickly as possible and opened the door.

Haymitch was still there leaning against the door and it was only then that Finnick realised he was naked. He shifted so the door covered his lower half and smiled "hey Haymitch, what's up?". "You're 3 hours late for work and Y/n is 4, any idea what happened?". "Oh shoot! We were up late last night exercising and I think we overdid it, sorry Haymitch". "Exercising huh?" Haymitch asked and Finnick nodded "yeah you know like we do in Beetee's lab". Haymitch nodded "right and would you happen to know where Y/n is as she's not answering her door". Finnick was struggling to think of a lie when he was saved.

"You know full well that I'm in here you pervert so leave us alone!" your voice suddenly carried through from Finnick's room and the two men froze. "Can't we have one morning off for fuck sake?" you finished. Finnick smiled "yeah she's fine she's with me" and Haymitch nodded "I figured, yes you can have the morning off Y/n because you already have! They want you in work in half an hour" and with a nod he left.

Finnick closed the door and came back inside to find you awake but still burrowed in his quilt. "Assholes, can't they give us one lie in?". Finnick smiled coming back to you in bed, even if it was just for a few minutes. "I mean we did sleep pretty late". "Yeah because you kept me up most of the night" you smiled tracing his chest before you paused "is this...are you okay with what happened last night" you asked "you seemed pretty sure last night but I wanted to check". In response, Finnick gently kissed you before pulling back. "I'm more than okay with this" he smiled as he leaned over you "I'm happy".

That took you back a bit and you nodded "oh, that's...that's good" you said and Finnick laughed remembering Masons weren't too upfront with their emotions. "I guess we'll have to do it again then" you said and Finnick nodded "definitely, it was the best kind of sparring. I'm pretty sure you won last night but I think next time will be my victory". You were fiercely competitive so that statement got your attention right away. "Really?" you asked "okay then why don't we go right now and see who wins?". You sat up letting the quilt fall away from you and arched your back so you were inches away from Finnick.

It was one of the most beautiful sites Finnick had ever seen and it took everything in him not to kiss you. "I would but if we start we won't be done in half an hour and we don't want to be disturbed, do we?" he asked playing with your chin. You nodded "good point" and moved away from him. "I guess I'll see you next time then" and with a smile, wrapped your towel around yourself and left.

You got to work within half an hour and not a minute sooner. Haymitch saw you walk in and raised an eyebrow. "Thanks for gracing us with your presence" he said and you mock bowed to him "you're so welcome". You were a good worker who just put her head down on got on with it but today was a little different. Finnick kept popping into your head and moments from last night flashed through your head making you smile. You kept thinking about how Finnick looked at you and the things he'd whispered in your ear...it made you walk with a bounce in your step and you felt so desirable. The power of Finnick Odair.

Your excellent mood persisted all day, so much so, you even made some small talk with some co-workers as you were clocking out! You headed straight for the dining room for dinner and that's when you saw Finnick. He was lining up to get his portion when he looked up and spotted you...and a smug smile spread across his face. A matching smirk appeared on your face involuntarily and you grabbed a tray and joined him in line. "Good day at work?" you asked him and he nodded "the best! Then again, I did have a really good sleep last night so that might've helped". You smiled "same, I had the comfiest pillow. A bit clingy but I didn't mind". "Oh I know you didn't mind" Finnick snapped back and he actually made you blush! That never happened and Finnick loved it. He chuckled to himself and didn't take his eyes off you until he got to the front of the line.

Neither of you were too focused on your food and 4 minutes in Finnick just set his knife and fork down "do you want to just head to mine and repeat last night?". "Yes definitely" you agreed standing up and were out of the room in the blink of an eye with a grinning Finnick trailing.

It was like that a lot at first, the two of you sneaking off together and constantly swapping between your room and his depending on which one of you caved faster. You loved everything about being with Finnick and had truly found your match. Nobody had even been able to capture your attention nor make you crumble as quickly as him and you couldn't stop yourself going back for more. Luckily, the feeling was mutual.

4 weeks from when you and Finnick had first hooked up, things had settled down a little. You weren't constantly trying to rip each other's clothes off and could now be in close proximity without it turning into a make-out session. So sitting across the table from him as you ate dinner was safe for you now. It was Monday and one of the days you had training planned. "I was speaking to Gale earlier and he said he'd appreciate some combat lessons so I said he could join us tonight" you told Finnick. He paused and looked at you "in our sparring sessions?". You nodded "yeah, you don't mind sharing right?" with a purposeful look and Finnick shot you a winning smile "the more the merrier".

That was not the vibe you got when Finnick walked into the training room but it probably didn't help that you and Gale had both arrived early and were already sparring when he walked in. You and Gale were standing metres apart, each trying to catch the other one off guard. You heard the door open and knew it would be Finnick, Gale looked up to check and you used that to your advantage. You managed to get Gale on the floor and stabbed a knife next to his head "dead!" you declared happily "hey Finnick". "Hey" he said dryly.

You'd noticed Finnick had lots of different voices and faces, almost like they were performances and the voice he was using tonight was his public one. "So I see you got right into it". Gale nodded getting to his feet "thanks for letting me join, I'm good with a gun but don't have much experience fighting hand-to-hand". Finnick nodded "well we can definitely help you out with that. Why don't we spar together?" he asked gesturing between Gale and himself. Gale nodded "sure!" and the two lined up. You could see how tense Finnick was and despite Gale being the bigger of the two, you didn't like his chances.

You were right, Finnick made sure Gale spent most of the time on the floor and he walked out of the training room a lot stiffer than when he walked in. "That was mean" you commented and Finnick shrugged "I have no idea what you're talking about".

You changed the subject and managed to get Finnick back to normal until you passed Katniss on the coridoor. "Oh hey Gale mentioned he sparred with you two, I didn't know you were training". You nodded "yeah have been for a few weeks now" and Katniss nodded. "You can join us if you want?" you offered and Katniss smiled "thanks, I might do" you walked away.

When you were alone you asked Finnick if he'd mind Katniss joining. He shook his head "no Katniss is fine" and you couldn't help but smile. "What?" Finnick asked and you laughed. "I was joking earlier but are you really jealous of Gale? You hated him joining". Finnick didn't reply so you knew it was true and took in a sharp breath. "Wow, the god himself Finnick Odair is jealous!" you gasped mock fainting and Finnick rolled his eyes. "He's a good-looking guy okay, I could see any girl liking him...possibly including the one I'm interested in". "So you were worried I'd trade you in for Gale?" you asked with a smile but there was nothing jokey in Finnick's expression. "Something like that" he agreed staring at you closely "see I know you're into me. I can tell because you told me, you were the one who initiated this and you fall apart every time I touch you". "Not every time" you argued but Finnick shot you down with a sharp "most of the time, especially when I touch you just right" and you felt your breathing increase at the intensity of Finnick. "I don't worry you want me but the idea of Gale or another guy touching you" Finnick let out a sigh "I don't like that, as far as I'm concerned it's my job to please you and nobody can do it better than me". You tilted your head to one side "really...because Gale is taller than you and probably a little stronger than you plus his shoulders are so nice and broad, I could imagine holding onto them all night long". "Stop" Finnick said and you smiled "why, don't like that mental image? Because it's growing on me". "Don't" Finnick said tensely "don't think about him that way". "Make me" you shrugged and it was as if those were the words Finnick had been waiting for.

In seconds he had you pinned to the wall, your arms trapped neck to your head as he fought you for dominance. You kept him going for quite a few minutes and finally Finnick pulled back for breath. "You're cute when you're jealous" you told him and his jaw got even tighter. "If you're so sure I don't have such an effect on you then how about we raise the stakes tonight?" he asked "you can't react to anything I do, if you don't then I'll admit I'm not the best guy to please you but if you move, or whine or moan" he smiled "then I'll stop, until you admit how good I am. Deal?". You loved the sound of having all of Finnick's attention on you so nodded "sure but how are you going to ensure I don't move or play back?". Showing you he'd thought ahead Finnick pulled some straps from out of his drawer and you got the message as he began attaching them to the bed frame. "Come on sweetie, don't get shy on me now" Finnick said patting the bed and your ego came back. "Happily" you replied "I'll even help you out" and removed your clothes swiftly before striding over to him "give it your best shot".

You always were a big talker and this was one of those occasions. Finnick won the bet easily and had you begging for him in minutes. He made you wait a little longer and then finally gave you everything you wanted. Literally everything. You both looked like you'd just taken a shower with how much your were gleaming and you felt on cloud nine. You also must've been going soft in your ripe old 20s because you turned to Finnick and smiled. "Well as amazing as that was, it wasn't too necessary. No guy has caught my attention since you". "Oh really?" Finnick asked sarcastically and you hit his arm. "Shut up! I was trying to be nice!" you said turning away but Finnick caught your arm "no I was just teasing, I get that. I know you weren't worried about other girls but you don't need to be either". You nodded "so in line with that...I'm not seeing anyone else at the moment except you and I'm not planning on changing that, we can keep it just the two of us if you want?". Finnick looked at you "I might want that if you want that? Do you want that" and you grinned "yes you idiot" and Finnick smiled "take that Gale" making you shake your head. "Please, Gale has nothing on you honey" and you swear Finnick had a permanent smile on his face for the rest of the week.

Dating Finnick was not what you expected it to be at all. Some things made sense, like Finnick being extremely hot, flirty and a lot of fun. He loved to be teased and thrived under your attention. However, there were other sides to him you didn't expect. Finnick could be very considerate and attentive, if you mentioned something once to him he'd remember it especially if it was something you said you liked. He did love attention but seemed to love spoiling you more, especially in the bedroom. He was so responsive to your body and would be watching you constantly for clues as to what you'd like best next. He very rarely demanded anything for himself and was definitely a quick learner. He was also softer than you expected, when he told you he preferred to be the little spoon you thought he was joking until you saw how soundlessly he slept in your arms. After that, you let him be the little spoon every time and the smile Finnick gave you each time made it all worth it. You felt really happy with Finnick and it made you wonder if you had any right to feel that way.

"Do you think we should feel bad for this?" you asked him one night and Finnick looked at you "For us? Annie's dead and you've...never had any other partners?". You elbowed him in the chest making him laugh "please I've had tons of others! Men and women swoon at the sight of me". "That I can believe" he smiled turning on his stomach so he could see you better "okay then for what?". "For enjoying ourselves?" you asked "for...being happy". Finnick looked at you "I'm making you happy?". You blushed but nodded "since we've gotten together things just seem brighter, more hopeful, happier". Finnick didn't say a word, he just bent down and kissed you. "Y/n there is nothing better in the world than you being happy, so if I make you happy then screw everything else. It can only be a good thing and you deserve this". "Even when Johanna is..." and your voice cracked. Finnick quickly wrapped his arms around you, he held you close and soothed you as you tried not to cry. "It's okay" he said softly "we both know your sister loves you more than anything else in the world. She'd want you to be happy, she'd be glad we found one another and I can't wait to tell her when we rescue her". You looked at Finnick and smiled because this was the first time he'd suggested telling people. He saw your reaction and it warmed his heart so he continued. "I think we should stop hiding it now we're official too, I think we should tell people". You nodded "if you're ready". Finnick laughed "please baby I was born ready" making you laugh too. "Okay then, we'll tell people" you agreed and Finnick nodded. "After tomorrow though, I want you all to myself for another 24 hours" and there was no way you could say no to that.

Neither of you said anything public to announce your relationship, instead, you just stopped being discreet. You'd already been pretty suspicious so when people saw Finnick kiss you in the dining room that confirmed it and the rumour spread like wildfire, even to the highest in the chain.

"You and Finnick?" Katniss asked as she saw you in the corridor and you looked up surprised. "I'm shocked you noticed Mockingjay". "Prim told me" she admitted "She saw you this morning. I wouldn't have noticed if she didn't tell me, I had no idea you two were...was it going on before?". You shook your head "no, I always thought he was hot but I didn't meet him until a year after Johanna won. Then he was so focused on Annie, I don't think he knew any other girls existed. This all happened after we got here". Katniss nodded "I'm happy for you" she said and you smirked "well you could try and sound it!". Katniss went to apologise but you brushed her off "come on don't be stupid, I know you're happy for us and you don't have to pretend to be over the moon just for appearances. Coin did that and it was so fake". "Really?" Katniss asked and you nodded "she called Finnick and I into her office and told us how happy she was we'd found happiness here and then asked if we'd broadcast it to the Capitol". "What did you say?" Katniss asked and you grinned "I told her no of course! So don't worry, you don't have to do or say anything, you don't owe us or anyone anything". Katniss nodded to you "thank you" and you could feel some heavy emotion in those words. You knew things had been difficult for her and again felt guilty you and Finnick were having it so easily. You put a hand on her arm "District 13 might want to hire you as an actress but you don't have to do that around me".

Your mind sometimes went to dark places and one evening while Finnick was polishing his trident you let your thoughts come out. "What do you think it would've been like if we were in the same games together?" you asked. "In the quarter quell?" Finnick asked "we'd have teamed up of course". You shook your head "no in a normal game, if you got reaped later and I got reaped earlier". Finnick looked at you and shook his head "I don't even want to think about that" but you weren't having that. "Oh come I know you have because I have. Whenever I spar you there's a part of me wondering if I'd be able to kill you. If you were coming at me to murder me I'd be able to take you down instead. If you'd be a threat or a cannon".

Sometimes Finnick forgot the games had left a mark on you because you hid it a lot better than anyone he knew. He forgot you weren't just a hot pretty flirty girl but a victor who had killed 5 people in her own games. You were a murderer just like him.

He took a breath "well I think you could kill me and you could use your brains to do so. You're smarter than me, sometimes quicker and have good endurance. In the games, I think it would've just depended on circumstance as to which one of us killed the other". You seemed satisfied with that answer and nodded.

"Gale said they might be ready to put me in combat soon" you said trying to change the subject but it wasn't a great one. Finnick must've done a worse job hiding his face than he thought because you took his hand. "I know you're not too keen on me fighting but I'm doing well in training and think I'll be able to help. Plus it's not a famous victor like you or Katniss so it's no great risk". "Don't say that" Finnick said and you shrugged "why it's true". "It's not" Finnick said "you're valuable Y/n and a lot of people care about you, i care about you". You turned to look at him as if checking he was being serious. Finnick stared into your eyes and eventually your own softened. "Thanks, I care about you two" you said hugging him "but you don't need to worry. Nothing's agreed yet". "I hope it never is" he said and he wasn't joking.

Something changed in your relationship that night. It was no longer just sex but had crossed into something else. Finnick held onto you tighter and it dawned on him how much he'd come to rely on you. How much he craved as well as needed you. Finnick realised this was something more serious than he'd even realised.

You didn't know there was a rescue attempt for the other victors until Finnick told you he'd be broadcasting while they did it. He seemed nervous when he explained it to you making you pause. "But you'll be safe the whole time right, you'll be here?" and Finnick nodded "oh yeah don't worry I'll just be talking" but the way he said it didn't make sense. Then when he started talking about his life in the capitol it all made sense.

Everyone was of course fixed on the task force infiltrating the capitol but you couldn't tear your eyes off of Finnick. It was like a bad dream, the more he said, the more horrified you became. You had no idea all the things that had been done to him and his body, the things they had made him do and let people do to him. Just when you thought the Capitol couldn't get any worse they surprised you. Finnick came to your room late that night and the second he stepped in the doorway you just stared at one another. You broke the silence first.

"I'm really sorry" you said quietly "for what they did to you I...I had no idea". Finnick shrugged "it's okay I mean why would you?". You didn't know what to say or do, you just wanted to hug Finnick but also didn't want to touch him in case it scared him. Finnick looked up and smiled sadly to see you watching him so carefully "you're frowning" he said "careful it will give you wrinkles". His smile and words didn't match though and he stopped after he saw your response. "Y/n it's okay" he said "it was a long time ago". "But those sorts of things stick with you" you said "they don't just go away...is that what you have nightmares about?". Finnick's eyes went away, you saw his consciousness disappear for a second and you wanted to sob but you stopped yourself from crying. This wasn't about you or your tears, it was about Finnick. You could cry later.

He came back to you and let out an awkward laugh "yeah sometimes, it's always either in the games or after the games, sometimes I think I've left the games but I haven't and at times I can't actually tell which was worse". You swallowed and stepped forwards "we will make them pay for this Finnick, I swear to you I will avenge your child self, I will get justice for what they did to you. You will not have suffered for nothing".

Finnick stared at you without blinking and you wondered if he'd gone away again until a tear fell down his cheek. "Thank you" he said, his voice strained as he was clearly holding it in. "Can I...can I hug you?" you asked and Finnick nodded his head, immediately more tears fell and he began to sob as you hugged him. You held him as he cried his eyes out and comforted him as best you could. You held onto him tightly and once he'd got through the worst of it whispered how he was safe and loved. "I won't let anything bad happen to you again" you told him and he clung to you.

He needed to believe that and luckily, you meant every word.

Later that night, something occurred to you. "Finnick, is your experience as a young Victor the reason you pulled away from me when I first got out? We were close and then you started avoiding me". Finnick looked down before nodding "it was Johanna's idea and I agreed with it the second she suggested it. Johanna did a pretty great job scaring people off her but she'd marketed you as this pretty charming girl. We were scared if people saw you with me, the people who bought me would want to buy you...or even both you and I together" Finnick swallowed "so Joanna took your home, made sure everyone saw you with your scary sister and waited for the buzz to die down. I'm sorry I avoided you". You nodded "it's okay, I just totally knew you were into me and there had to be a logical reason you backed off instead of you not being attracted to me". Finnick laughed and it was a genuine one. You were growing to love those smiles and it worried you but there was nothing you could do about it. It was like falling down a hole, you couldn't stop yourself and didn't know if you even wanted to.

Finnick shook his head coming towards you "well you're right, I thought you were beautiful when I first saw you and I've always been attracted to you. I'm glad I'm finally able to tell you" he said and then got his mischievous smile "and do this" and he leaned in to kiss you.

It was a good kiss. The kind that had you breathless but wanting more. Finnick pulled away knowing that and shot you a downright devilish smile "am I forgiven?". "You know you are you smug git!" you cried and Finnick pulled you even closer. "You know you love it" he commented and you couldn't even argue with that.

You couldn't sleep until you got word from your sister and you and Finnick stayed awake as you waited for news. Then, after hours of silence, everything was chaos and you ran to the infirmary to see people everywhere. Nobody could tell you what happened or even if Johanna was alive. You were getting more and more frantic when you heard "Y/n there!" as Finnick grabbed your arm and you spotted her.

"Johanna!" you cried rushing over to her. She was ripping some cords off her arm when she smiled at you. "Y/n" she said and she opened her arms. You rushed into them and hugged her tightly making her wince. "Careful kid I'm still injured remember?" she asked. "Then why were you ripping all the wire out that help you?" you shot back and your sister smirked "touché, has she been this smart-mouthed since I've been gone Finnick?". Finnick was standing at the end of her bed, smiling a the two of you. Everything felt right in the world, you were leading a rebellion, you had Finnick, you had your sister back... then everything went to shit.

Finnick went to answer your sister when with a sharp scream a red-headed girl engulfed him in a hug. "Annie?" he asked looking as if he'd just seen a ghost and you looked to Johanna "we thought she was dead?". "Nope, Capitol just said that. I think it's when they started suspecting things were up but she's fine and they're back together".You followed her gaze to where Annie was now in Finnick's arms. Finnick was searching her face, clearly asking her the same questions you'd asked Johanna and then she leaned down and kissed him.

You felt like the wind had been knocked out of you and you turned to Johanna "we need to get these all back in you" you said pointing to the wires on the floor "doctor!" and you took off after one heading as far away from Finnick and the love of his life as you possibly could.