#dont ask what the story or context is its just:

[malachitefields]

(original ask by @highestside got lost so ive artfully recreated it, not that you would be able to tell by my phenomenal editing skills)

this is very much my “1 like and ill write an essay” topic so thank you for the excuse to yap!

this is all in the context of this batsplat post, which i cant really build on if im honest so will be referencing/drawing parallels as i go through rather than stealing from thanku pls go read that first

im writing with the knowledge that most ppl who follow me are motogp so wont necessarily know figure skating, so ill do a little introduction to yuzuru (probably yuzu from here on out) so u guys can all join in because i think youll love him. hes truly marc-levels bonkers insane mastermind babygirl.

if you know it already or just only care about the mind games/mental aspect of it feel free to skip past!!

so heres our guy! yuzuru hanyu (born december 1994, saggitarius, name means “a bowstring pulled tight”)

now retired from competitive figure skating in 2022 because he would “no longer seek those kinds of evaluations” (i.e he was sick of being underscored and everyone else overscored and it wasnt fun anymore so he was going to skate at a competitive level elsewhere like a maniac), yuzu is a 2-time olympic, 2-time world, 4-time consecutive grand prix final, 1-time four continents, and 6-time national champion. he is the only man to achieve what is known as a “super slam”, a grand slam in both the juniors and the senior divisions (athough he wouldve achieved it a lot faster if he hadnt been cursed to only ever achieve 2nd at 4cc, but thats another story). hes the second youngest man to win the singles olympic title (after dick button) and the first man to successfully defend his olympic title in 66 years (also after dick button, ironically).

he broke 19 world records, the most of any skater in singles since the introduction of the GOE scoring system in 2003 (dont ask what we used before that you dont want to know). he was the first to break the 100 point barrier for the short program, 200 points for the free program, and 300 overall, and he did at one point break all three of those records (which were all his) in one weekend, 2 weeks after hed set them. if you want to see what the crowd reaction to that one was like, take a look. the impact of those two weeks literally cannot be overstated, yuzu blew not just the field, but the entire sport so far out of the water that they replaced the scoring system because there was no way anyone could get close (its also probably the catalyst for the severe deterioration in scoring, but thats a whole different discussion)

now ive given a smidge of a background on yuzu (which is tldr he is largely considered the greatest mens singles skater of all time), ill give a bit of comparison between the two sports.

like motogp, fs is hugely a mind game for all of the athletes. while it doesnt exactly involve death, there is certainly a lot of the good ole body horror aspect (i have seen skaters dislocate their shoulders and then just pop them back in to complete their program), and there is comparatively less time to make sure you get things right while youre in competition. that seems ideal on paper, but unfortunately singles figure skating is not exactly known for its lack of errors! (yuzu notoriously won his first olympic title having fallen over twice in the fs) its pretty frequent to see a skater panic over a mistake early in the programme and then just snowball into a big mess thats cost them points.

unlike in motogp, there is nothing to assist in going faster or doing more other than your own body. and when all of your competition time is crammed into 2-4 minute slots, it becomes necessary to keep doing more in that short space of time in order to beat out your opponent. as a result we have ended up at what is referred to as the quad revolution, where the ever ramping up need for more technical complexity demanded more difficult jumps. in this case, jumps with 4 complete revolutions in air, rather than the 3 revolution jumps that were common for a long period of time. adding more revolutions to a jump requires a bigger jump, faster turning, and a larger g force on landing. currently this is thought to be about 13-14g, which doesnt sound like a lot in motorsport terms where going around a corner in an f1 car puts 6g on your neck, but a) the human body is much better as surviving high g forces that are horizontal as opposed to vertical/along the spine and b) they are landing on one foot (always the same foot!) in a inflexible ankle boot, on a piece of metal, on a sheet of ice, on a concrete floor. theres not exactly a lot to cushion the impact other than the grace of your own ankle and knee, and if you fuck that up youre going splat on the ice full body. so the repeated strain is there! and to add onto that, the error truly costs you as there is no cumulative points system across competitions. meaning the maximum 5 (6 if youre in an olympic year) major international competitions really count every time. you could win every major competition of the year up until worlds, but if you croak just enough there that someone outscores you, sorry but youre not world champion this year! so while theres not usually any death in figure skating, its high risk-high reward nonetheless.

never being on the ice competing at the same time as someone else also brings a weird dynamic to the table here. where you are in the running on the day can play a lot on the mental state of the skaters, so if theyre in a close competition with a rival and the rival has just skated a personal best, the pressure is on (more on this in a bit lol). this means theres not really any pressure you can put on a rival mentally during a programme the same way you can with a race. that pressure has to already be there before they step on the ice, or they have to create it themselves.

yuzu specifically largely reserves (or seems to at least from an outside perspective) his mind games for the press rather than his competitors. quite often his competitors do end up as collateral damage though, as they dont exactly know much that the press doesnt already. i think this is a important thing to keep in mind when thinking about quote unquote “mindgames”, as its easy to look at everything an athelete does in a high stress environment as being intentional. marc for example, and his classic towing so he can observe competitors. he benefits in that it may unsettle or stress out the competition, but it may just be for observation purposes in most cases if thats all he really wants to know/gain from it. batsplat mentioned poor rookie fabio getting the observation treatment, which sure could be intimidation tactics! it could also just be curiosity and strategy planning to account for a good rookie on a decent bike, though. once people have voiced an opinion on your actions that others have noticed it can catch on as the assumed intent, even if it wasnt the case at all. but if youre marc marquez and everyone assumes that you play mind games while towing in practice and is unsettled by it, you probably wont bother saying anything about it because it ended up benefitting you in the end.

figure skating and motogp (moto racing in general) are extremely different examples of spectator sports:

a sport that many people find entertaining to watch.

you’ve heard it all before so i almost dont have to say it, but valentino rossi is show, marc marquez is show. they’re such engaging and interesting figures to the spectators not just because theyre technically phenomenal, but also because they are aware of how to engage the spectator. yuzu is absolutely no different, just winning is no fun if its not fun to watch. if we think back to how common errors are in fs, you can imagine the drama of a situation like this (which is how he has described his ideal win):

“I'd like to be in the position where, no matter what happens - even if they skate their free skate clean - if I skate clean, I will win." from here

what yuzu has been after his whole career is undeniable dominance. and i compare it to this quote from marc which rings exactly the same:

“I’m a winner and my mentality will never change. These guys are not better than me” from there can be only one s2 ep3

on face value yuzus quote seems very different than marcs, much more passive in the way it conveys the same intent: that they are better than the rest. but heres where the mind games really come in. theres been a long running argument in figure skating as a result of the quad revolution between whether focusing on athleticism and technical skills was the future of the sport, over “artistry”. basically all of the mens singles skaters at the elite level now all focus on the former as its what gives them more points, with yuzuru being basically the last frontier of elite level “artistry” skaters. there was a lot of back and forth in the media about it, with most of the mens skaters arguing that athleticism was more important, and that the new generation was bringing that aspect to the sport (implying that yuzuru wasnt).

anyway, king of the very subtle but destructive media dig that he is, yuzu dropped this notorious quote:

“That so-called balance between [technical] difficulty and artistry, to me that doesn't actually exist. Artistry is founded upon absolute technical prowess, that's what I think.” from here

damning as that quote is on its own, the context was key in its own right. this was delivered at the official olympic press conference immediately after yuzuru had won his second olympic title, specifically (it seems) as a response to discussions about nathan chen in the media.

nathan had been a favourite to win the 2018 olympics in part due to his differing focus on jumps over,,,,,, well basically everything else in his programs, but also because yuzu was injured shortly before the olympics and hadnt been seen in 4 months. in the end he only came 5th, after landing himself in 17th after the short program after panicking.

remember what i said about a rival skating a personal best just before you had to skate? lets quickly have a look at what other skaters say its like to skate immediately after yuzu on a regular competition, or even look at him:

i swear on my life i have a distinct memory of another skater saying that not only does no one look at yuzu before skating, but that COACHES TELL THEM NOT TO FOR THEIR OWN GOOD. i couldnt find that source, so maybe i made that one up.

this isnt exlusive to skaters that dont know him either, roman sadovsky and nam nguyen were both training mates at toronto cricket club for years with him (and very friendly) and still said this:

its noticable to fans and press as well, this contrasting idea of someone who is completely normal backstage, but particularly a menace on the ice

“I have been watching Hanyu for a long time and have had the chance to chat with him on many occasions. There is a contrasting sweetness and innocence backstage in conversation to the “killer” who comes out to skate. I have often said, you can see it in Hanyu’s eyes when he takes his opening postion. It’s as if it’s a choice he makes in declaring “this one’s mine””

this distinct aura, if you want to call it that, is something we also see with marc, where he also unnerves opponents, in part because of this monstrous technical ability meaning you know youre at risk, but also because its just straight up scary. batsplats post did a really good job of dissecting how we know marc is probably intending that, but yuzus a little harder to pin down. hes much more subtle than marc in a lot of ways with potential affects on competitors, and theres less need to target specific people than with motogp because youll never come “head to head” with someone in figure skating and therefore need to know their specific strengths and weaknesses (although he definitely does, hes said that before, it just doesnt impact his skating unless they have something he wants to emulate, which became less and less common over time.).

but its still definitely intentional in my eyes, as david wilson, who choreographed for both him and yuna kim (largely considered the goat of the womens singles division) also speculates:

“When I worked with Yuzu, he told me that Yuna was his idol. He idolised her. And I don’t think it was just for her skating, I think it was the way she did it, the way she commanded those four years. You know? He wanted to be that kind of a force.” from here

and here we are back around to the concept of undeniable dominance!

its at this point that i want to discuss probably the most similar aspects of marc and yuzus mind games: being lying liars who lie when it comes to injury when it benefits them

its body horror time!

yuzu has a fantastic track record of not disclosing injuries anywhere outside of his immediate circle and competing anyway in ways that shouldnt really have been possible.

for one, this dudes asthmatic, like he literally used to turn blue in the face sometimes at the end of a program when he was a teenager. one time he just laid face down on the ice at the end. i have no idea why he picked this profession, hes literally said it hurts him. just another point to add to the “bonkers crazy insane” chart i have of him and marc in my mind.

he got silver during the 2016 world championships on a hidden lisfranc injury in his left foot, which is a type of mid-foot injury common in *checks notes* car accidents and contact sports. they werent sure at the time if he was ever going to be able to skate again because even walking was bad, but he still skated at the gala afterwards, which led to probably the most beautiful but also sopping wet sad performance ive ever seen, followed by him dropping the news he was really fucking injured and might never be able to skate again and then going completely radio silent for months over the summer break (end of season). id say that was a one off but he skated at the olympic 2022 gala knowing he was about to retire from competition and hadnt told anyone yet so clearly it wasnt (nico rosberg eat your heart out!) he just likes drama.

but hiding injuries isnt uncommon, and is definitely not that much of a media mind game if you really think about it! what is though, and is very reminiscent of marc and that goddamn arm, is the injury on the run up to the 2018 pyeongchang olympics (remember me mentioning that?)

if we rewind a bit to autumn 2017, yuzu has just won his second world title after delivering what is largely considered to be the greatest figure skate of all time (and a historical record). yuzuru is running a fever during practice at nhk trophy right at the start of the season, and ends up severely injuring his right ankle (his landing foot) doing the highest scoring jump anyone had actually landed at the time. the injury happened live so he couldnt really pretend he wasnt injured, and he goes into complete media blackout for the next 3 months, missing the entire season before announcing he’s competing at the olympics to defend his title. i would like to emphasise here: nobody had fucking seen him in 3 months, especially not on the ice. in the meantime, nathan chen had had a pretty good time scooping up wins and had made himself the projected favourite for the olympic title due to no one knowing fuck all about yuzurus condition.

the first time yuzu was seen on ice was the first of several practice sessions for the mens singles (nathan had already competed in the team competition but yuzu hadnt skated). these are a media frenzy due to yuzu at the best of times, not to mention him being at this point only about 4 months out from a ligament injury on the foot he was meant to be landing 13-14g on repeatedly.

“The real highlight of the skating day on Monday came not during the team event upstairs in the Gangneung Ice Arena, but downstairs in the evening at the practice rink long after the crowds had gone home. That's when defending Olympic and world champion Yuzuru Hanyu made his first appearance on Olympic ice.

Hanyu went through a light workout for 15 minutes that primarily involved strokes and just a couple of jumps, before departing. He attempted no quads during his time on the ice. He did not appear to be in any distress or favoring any part of his body.” from here

the media, who are absolutely ravenous for any information about his condition at this point, get basically nothing out of this practice session that might give away his chances at defending the title. the other skaters definitely didnt either, but that was fine! there was another practice session in a couple of days that might give the game up as to whether he is beatable!

except he uhhhhhh didnt give them anything there either

“After a fairly intensive practice in the main rink on Tuesday morning, Hanyu took a more cautious approach this time, focusing mostly on strokes and steps.

He attempted just a handful of jumps, including a quad salchow, quad toe loop and a triple axel.

When Hanyu's short program music to Chopin's Ballade No. 1 played, he went through a run-through of it without any jumps. The question now is if that was just a precautionary measure to avoid injury or if there was some other physical reason.

Hanyu departed following the training session without making any comments to the media other than “thank you” as he walked through the mixed zone.” from here

he basically just fucked about for a while, did exactly three (3) major jumps so the media got excited, and then left. which was hilarious to watch the media fallout of if hugely nerve wracking at the time.

so for the men who have a chance at the title and therefore want to know what state hes in, all they now know is that hes capable of some of the major jumps at the very least. so hes not completely out of the running, but the lack of intensity is making it look more like his chances are slim. one of the few things people do know is that hes on painkillers.

the lots for the short program running order is drawn and yuzuru is skating immediately before nathan chen, so nathan will know what state yuzuru is in before he even starts competing. while yuzu is poker facing it completely, nathans been hugely dominant this season while yuzus been off, and yuzu looks like hes playing it safe.

hes not.

so much of this is body language, crowd reaction and attitude, so id absolutely watch the performance at this point if you can, with the knowledge that his assumed closest competitor was going immediately afterwards and the media had been effectively calling his downfall for the entire season.

in summary, its a monster of a performance. at 111.68 points its just shy of 112.72, the world record hed set in september just before injury (among people who score recreationally as a hobby, its pretty consistent that people think this should have been just above, and therefore a new record) he literally flicks both wrists and drops the smile off his face after hes finished, and then comes off the ice saying “im back”, where nathan steps onto the ice while they spend the next SIX MINUTES clearing the rink. i mentioned earlier that in figure skating theres no way of affecting another skater mentally while performing, and that it has to be done before they start or done to themselves. by sheer chance of the program running draw, this was the equivalent of waiting until the last second to deliver the blow. yuzu leaves that day having given the impression that hes totally recovered and nathan ends up in 17th. in the end yuzu wins again and nathan climbs back to 5th. this would have been a pretty incredible mind game even without it seeming to very much throw nathan right off, but i guess it was a bonus in the end.

fundamentally, i think this worked SO well because it was a reminder of basically everything that made yuzu someone to fear, someone COMMANDING in the first place. yuzus radio silence had not only benefitted in that it took some of the pressure off him, but that he had (for the first time in quite a while) made himself an unknown quantity. everyone knows what hes capable of at full health, everyone knows hes intimidating and a show to watch! they hadnt seen him in months though, and there wasnt really a clear sign of the old yuzu during practice sessions though so the doubt crept in. despite him being only 23, hed injured both feet/ankles in the span of only 2 years, and the sport was very distinctly going through rapid changes at the time. it seemed possible to some that he just wasnt able to keep up at his level of repeated injury. he wanted a dramatic return and he got it.

marc and his various methods of reminding the grid what hes capable of so hes a constant presence in their mind is like a dripfeed version of this. yuzu has his own ways, usually more passive, of reminding everyone of this. his most obnoxious one is definitely talking about the quad axel though.

axels are the only jump with an additional half rotation, the takeoff faces forwards and they land backwards. this makes it the most difficult of the entire suite of jumps for each additional rotation. triple axels are a staple for the mens field as the highest ranking of the triple jumps, but a lot of them just are not good at it (everyone has better jumps and worse jumps, axels just seem to be a lot of peoples achilles heel)

yuzuru is obnoxiously good at them, his signature jump is the triple axel with an entry called a back counter, which changes direction and blade edge at the last second making it appear like the jump comes out of nowhere (this in itself is a showman thing) its the most difficult entry for a triple axel anyone does, and hes the only person who ever really bothered trying because even for the highest level skaters its ridiculously hard.

at the point in time of the 2018 olympics, every jump had been landed as a quad apart from the quad axel. and there was a reason for it: the predicted minimum scope needed for this jump was HUGE, at least 70cm high and about 4 metres long. vertical nba jumps are the same height. NO ONE EVEN WANTED TO TRY THIS FUCKING JUMP. there were discussions about just bypassing it and going straight for attempting quint (5 rotation jumps) instead THATS HOW BADLY THEY DIDNT WANT TO DO IT.

yuzuru, having now been forced to admit that a) he actually was still very injured (only 20-30% recovered) and was immediately going back into recovery having defended his olympic title and b) the painkillers didnt do shit so hed been in excruciating pain the whole time (although had gone completely painkiller loopy during gala practice at one point) decided that this was the opportunity to remind everyone that he was still very much the guy to beat despite the media talking otherwise, and announced that thats what hed decided he wanted to focus on next. just to put a little pressure on the field who thought the difficulty of their jumps gave them the edge. truly bonkers crazy, even nathan chen thought he was insane for that one.

hed mention it every so often, and did practice during public sessions on a couple of occasions, which was INSANE because he was very clearly getting closer and closer over time. this thing looked unreal to see, effectively because its bordering on the very limit of what the human body is actually able to do. the first quad jump was landed in 1988, the quad axel was landed (eventually) in 2022. thats how long it took to get there.

the effect this gave was a constant nipping threat on the heels of a field that was at this point pretty much all younger than yuzu (figure skaters retire EARLY). he had his own alien status well and truly secured, but the public reminders where you could tell he was getting closer were OMINOUS. you looked at that the same way you looked at marc when he does a save that doesnt look like it should be physically possible, no matter how good you are you will not be able to pull off whatever that is. it makes you nervous.

this is about marc and also literally from today but is a perfect explanation of the control they both have over the way they communicate.

“Amazing the control he has, not only on the ice but in his life. He controls his choreography, he controls his music. He is just a master at this game” from here

everything is thought out and considered, everything intentional. it means you pay even more attention to their comments even if they sound cryptic. you place more weight in them because you know they are valued and considered.

i’ll wrap it up here as this is ridiculously long! there is a whole other essay i could write about yuzus taste for the show, everything from music to costume to the off ice performance but perhaps another time lol.

[shesmore-shoebill]

i know im already too late lol lmao but!! favorite amanda outfits? favorite’non-smosh’ amangela moment? -baflegacy

hahaha technically the only thing you're late for is me answering these while tipsy, im thrilled to answer still, thanks @baflegacy :D

whoops this got kind of long bc i just kept adding stuff lol. let me put this under a cut

I went on a slightly embarassing rabbit hole to answer this question. Amanda has like. Certain iterations of outfits that I consistently find . uhm. extremely. impressive. (layering button up over tank top, high waisted pants with cinched shirt, matching blazer and suit pants with a shirt). And then my opinion gets further swayed by her hair and how much i like the video/context LOL. So this is not. an all inclusive list. at all.

Of course, Amarasha Reddit Stories outfit

tights.. the jacket.... also her hair. also this video is incredible.in general. but also. the outfit.

recency bias probably but fnaf vr outfit. i love the floral button up over the black tank top here its so good. look at it. i need it.

The silky velvety top she had in a few videos had me obsessed idk. also those few videos were really good. but the top itself? 👌

this fit. what the fuck. i love the shirt in particular but like. my god. Ma'am? Also this shirt with the choker for the youtube creators event... im.well. uhm.

i really liked this set of colors on her :]

also almost every like, button up shirt/blouse that she wears in this style makes me go 👀👀👀👀🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 (fnaf 2 shirt too)

and this jacket!! i really liked this jacket.

okay i think i need to stop.

(also i dont know if it counts but if it does. the s&b music video outfit. of COURSE. like. i mean.)

also you didnt ask this but upon reflection i forgot two angela outfits i really like: the sweatshirt from blood on the clocktower and the courdroy shirt thing from Love Is Blind 2. ok. sorry. im gonna stop now

'non smosh' amangela moment is TOUGH. Partly bc I think most of the stuff we see from them in video/photo form as a pair is in Smosh context (not to get TOO parasocial but if they wanted to. post clips or something. from their sleepovers or tv watching . i . wouldnt be opposed. .. . . .... 🥺)

In terms of completely removed from Smosh- i really liked the Fuck This Month with Jacob Wysocki :') The one with Vic was good (Vicmangela supremacy) but I liked the jokes in the first a little more. They're both really good at improv and seeing how they play off of each other (and how Amanda reaches for Angela specifically.....) really. just. :')

Also if "I Live In Your House" counts- what can I say. I love seeing them be good at what they do, and doing it together. Angela killed it on art and Amanda killed it in acting and Amangela killed. me..

In general I am just sooOOoooOooo fucking off the walls about indicators/evidence of Angela and Amanda spending time together/hanging out together/having their lives touch outside of Smosh/videos. Angela has clearly hung out with Amanda and her husband. They watch shows together. Angela got Amanda and her husband tickets to a soccer game. Amanda calls Angela when things are happening in her life.

All that said I really like the waitress skits they do bc its clearly for fun and something they find hilarious.

[honeydewmelan]

if i loved you - lautski sketch

[sammygender]

im new here- is dean abusive?

imo yeah. smarter people than me have written dissections of the way he treats sam & others (he’s also Awful to his psuedo-son jack, but i haven’t gotten to that season yet), i’ve probably reblogged a bunch of them.

he certainly doesn’t mean to be & i don’t say it to condemn him as a person or as a character & i’m still very attached to him & he loves sam very much (not that that makes a difference in whether u abuse someone or not) - but the way he treats sam a lot/some of the time is emotionally abusive and sam is clearly badly impacted. s4 and s8 come to mind as his worst moments also ofc moc era - after that there’s less interpersonal conflict (up to where i am at least) but that’s because sam mostly stops disagreeing with dean not because dean actually gets much better <3 spn is cycles of abuse show after all. family is hell. dean’s learnt pretty much everything about how to behave from his abusive father and as a result. well. cycle continues

[alildritten]

Ah yes, the scariest story of all:

G A Y

(/j)

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

So to summarize:

"If Azazoth wakes up the universe ends" and "Shiva could Dr Manhattan anyone and anything out of existence by looking at them"

are mythologies that can and should co-exist, and picking just one is yet another example of FGO finding the one wrong answer and going with that.

they kept the shiva dr manhattaning ppl out of existence thing but ONLY for kama and ONLY to make shiva look like a colossal dick as well. like lets be real here if you were actively grieving your dead wife (who killed herself protecting your honor against her father no less), had made it explicitly clear you weren't ready/in the mood to remarry even if it was to her reincarnation, and some guy tried to love arrow you to get you to fall for said reincarnation anyway you might lose your temper! and he DID bring kama back to life as anaga as an apology in the actual myth, they just made it happen by accident in fate bc...idk screw the idea of a god trying to make up for hurting someone else i guess? this is off topic tho ghkldsf

like ideally if you wanted to make every religion canon AND absolutely had to bring powerscaling into it youd probably have it be something like current faith of believers+overall cultural impact+age of actual religion/myth/whathaveyou so you COULD give cthulu mythos some weight when up against like...idk the greek pantheon as it DID have a marked effect on specific styles of horror (ie it invented a new one) and is sort of known by most people in a pop culture kind of way (in that it is more relevant to the current cultural zietgiest than greek mythology. this is a bad example bc greek mythology is also still wildly popular just as the stories but ykwim). that being said no one really actually worships them, so actually having them square off against gods is...silly for lack of a better word?

and to use my previous example, if you wanted a like cthulu vs zeus showdown using the parameters i mentioned while its true that lovecraft mythos is much more well known/current to today and operates on a much larger cosmice scale, greek mythology and the culture it created HEAVILY influenced other mediterannean cultures which in turn heavily influenced a whole bunch of other cultures and that would need to be taken into account even if zeus is 'only' a thunder god. (ignoring that he was also actually worshiped, and for a far greater period of time than any lovecraft god)

so like, keeping all of the cosmic scale of the lovecraft gods but going 'uh well actually none of the other gods are like how you heard they were' is annoyingly inconsistent. even with whatever excuses they have re: sefar or whatever its just...bad storytelling. why is this one made up pantheon the only one exempt from their own rules, and why is it the one that actively seems to go against the franchise's general themes of the human spirit? it just BOTHERS me lol like picking and choosing when to follow or break their rules isnt at all new to fate but i think the fact that out of all the god pantheons they couldve left unaltered they chose the one invented by lovecraft touched a nerve in me.

this is all a very long way of saying that if azazoth DID exist and DID have all those powers it wouldnt even matter if he woke up bc the minute he even thought about stirring all the other equally omnipotent omniscient all-powerful gods from across cultures would simultaneously flip him off so hard hed cry

[clematys]

I've weaponized my helpless spite Now how about that pride of yours?

Alternative caption is: you ever find out your sibling has a pretty different view of your family than you do?

[cinnabeat]

i wonder how common it is to introduce yourself with a first AND last name outside of professional settings?

[aria0fgold]

I'm looking through the pins of my discord server where I dumped all my fave moments of caiowe cuz I think it's about time to change my discord status and profile to something different and I... I keep getting jumpscared of that one screenshot quote from Cain that I don't even know where it's from. It haunts me...

[hiddenlife-manager]

Hii! I love your fics and was wondering if you’d do a pt2/blurb of one of them? The one where lando is jealous of oscar and reader, and they have jealous sex afterwards? Well I was wondering if you could write something for afterwards where lando is insecure and reader comforts him that she’d never actually leave him for oscar. Its fine if you dont want to do it just liked the idea so I thought Id share it.

Aftercare Lando x FemReader

cw... aftercare, past mention of sex, fluff, comfort, slight jealousy, oscar being a problem, etc...

notepad... I don't often do story things mainly cause it doesn't get much interest in the audience. So if this gets as big as my other smuts of lando then you might have me on board hehe.

Part One

He was sitting up tense, the both of you completely naked. It was clear that even if you let him take out his anger on you sexually, he hasn’t fully recovered. Your lips were aligned with his neck, slowly trailing down to his shoulders. You were attempting to ease him up a little. You two were exhausted, but you wanted to comfort the man you had come to love. 

“What’s on your mind?” You asked calmly, massaging his other shoulders as your breasts were pressed against his back. You know what was on his mind, and you wished for him to explain it so you could speak to him in all contexts. 

“Nothing…” He trailed off; he was low in his tone, and you sighed as you pressed your head on his one shoulder.

“You know you can’t hide a little thing from me.” You knew it was wrong to press, but you had to. “If it is about Oscar, just tell me.” 

“Of course it is about Osc. He is nothing but my competition. I am conflicted.” You brushed his air a bit as you took a deep breath in. 

“The rookie who impresses all who watch,” you chuckled, kissing his shoulder. “It reminds me of someone. Sure, he is competitive, but so are the rest of the drivers. You already signed a multi-year contract with McLaren; you have nothing to fear.” You attempted to comfort him, but he truly continued to be tense. 

“This is my life racing. Oscar is a good guy, but all he does is make me realize I am temporary if I don’t show results. Look at him, flirting with you. He lost Lily, and now he is after everything in my life. His helmet is similar to mine, and I had to change it to be different.” He began to tell you all in his mind, and he realized it was eating him up. 

“And…” You rolled your eyes and sighed. “So what? Isn’t that the point of the sport? Training to be better and not lose your seat. This job isn’t forever, Lando. He is your partner, and competition treats him as such. Stop worrying about such trivial things as helmets. I know one thing: you deserve the seat. That being said, what is so wrong about leaving Mclaren and branching in the future?" You kissed his neck once more and left a mark. “I would never leave you for Oscar. He may be hot, but you are hotter and have such a nice morning voice.” You whispered into his ear. 

He was quiet and a bit surprised you told him so straight forward. But you were like that always, and you meant well. He laughed and grabbed you, pinning you to the bed. You screamed a bit and sighed. 

“You are right. These worries are annoying.” He kissed your lips and sighed. It was a beautiful night in Monaco. All he wanted was to cuddle you. “Let's just rest; fuck the others.” He laid beside you and pulled you in closer. His voice is low and perfect. 

“I love the way you speak.” You mumbled as you rested your head on his chest. “Don’t stop.”

[dear-ao3]

Question for the mods....

HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MEET???

Like what???

How??

I am so god damn curious about you two. I wanna study yall under a microscope lol

Also ngl kinda envious of how close of friends you two seem to be. (Being an introverted shy af mofo sucks lmao)

I would actually probably read a whole ass book or watch a sitcom or something of the seemingly ever present weird-ass shit that seems to happen on a day-by-day basis.

/gen /lh /nf /pos

2018 newsies fandom. we weren't overly close but we bonded over race and albert a little and then katya dropped off the face of the earth for about a year.

during 2020 lockdown we both independently got into the witcher fandom and somehow ran into eachother again and had the fingers pointing OH MY GOD Y O U !!! moment in our dms. we bonded over hating jaskier. during this time we realized we were both dancers and katya was looking at dance colleges, i was already in college for dance and since it was lockdown and we couldn't go anywhere i told katya my experience auditioning at places to give him a good idea of places. and then i broke every internet safety rule known to man and said hey what if you had applied to my college but didnt know it?? and then one thing led to another and i dished out all the tea on my school. (only After that did we face reveal and give eachother our names lol) and then katya applied. mostly as a joke. until it wasnt a joke because that school gave katya a shit load of money and actually had stuff katya wanted to do. katya ended up coming to one of my zoom ballet classes and it took everything we had to not loose our shit on camera.

during this time we mostly kept eachother sane in lockdown writing witcher fanfic, and sending eachother awful thirst traps on instagram to pitbull music. one of our awful bits was using the dilf filter to make bad frat boy edits.

come august of 2021 we both moved into college. the same college. in the same building. it was wild. i pinched myself several times in shock. we went on a walk around campus with some worms on strings and were like what the hell how did we get here.

we continued to hang out and did weird insane things together. we took a class on the french revolution together where i had to put up with katya and fennec awkwardly flirting (read: making finger guns at eachother).

and then, since i was 2 years older, i was graduating and was going to stay in the area for a job and was like hey. what if we got an apartment together? and then we did. several adults agreed to this. idk why they let us. but now we live together in a real life apartment and we haven't even killed eachother yet. neither of our parents know that we met online. each of them have a different fake story as to how we know eachother and we really just hope they are never in the same room long enough to ask eachother about it. but its insane. 12/10 would recommend.

katya wanted me to include old tumblr screenshots of us talking, heres what i found from circa 2020:

we've always been like this lol

and heres some ancient greatest hits from instagram, i dont have context and trust me you dont want it:

every now and then the two of us look at eachother and go. how the fuck did we end up here??? (we have no idea)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for "defending a pedo"

tw for pedophilia and child abuse

(⬆️ to find later)

this happened while ago

i (20F) was talking to a friend about weird life experiences. i was just returned from visiting my grandparents so i told the story about the neighbor that i had there

for context: i live in eastern europe, and for most of my childhood i lived back and forth between the city and the countryside. the countryside in the region im from and this particular village is tough. im talking no running water/ the toilet is in back yard, only one house out of 5 has an internet connection, child labour on the fields, the only school went up to only 8th grade, etc. not the most remote of villages but far far off any "modern society" standards.

during the half of the year where i was at my grandparents up until i was around 12, I had a neighbor my age that i used to play with. she was significantly poorer than us, objectively. while my grandparents allowed me to play with her, they wouldn't like me going to her house instead because of the living conditions. i have gotten fleas from her before and in general the smell and conditions. they also didn't like her because she would try to steal stuff, so i wasn't ever allowed to invite her inside, but they've gotten over this because she was just a kid. her father passed when we were young and her mother is a severe alcoholic and just an abusive monster. she was mostly taken care off by her godmother while her mother beat her, stole her allowance, sent her off to work to the neighbors and do a lot of chores kids shouldnt do etc. before you say "why didnt anyone call child protective services" read again the context this was all happening in. we did our best to help her, once i stopped going to my grandparents we'd ocasionally send her my old clothes that didn't fit me anymore bc her mother refused to buy her clothes. it was geniunely heartbreaking to see because she tried her best to be loved by her mother and to help her. trying to buy her gifts, to be obedient, to take more of the workload, etc.

as i started properly living in the city (500km away) we drifted apart heavily. we simply lived such complete different lives it was hard to talk to her about anything outside of basic niceties. i still cared about her, she is smart and geniunely pushed so hard to go to highschool in the nearest city which is 20km away despite her mother. she was always positive and optimistic and had an insane work ethic. i respected her and wished she had gotten the privilege i had of leaving the village and getting a life in the city but alas.

here's where the "conflict" is: when i was 18 (and she was too) i have heard from my grandparents that she's pregnant. they mentioned it off in passing so i asked them to elaborate bc that was complete news to me. they elaborated that when she was (i think) 17 she met this guy who was 26, they became a couple, and now they waited until she was of legal age to get married. and now she's pregnant. then they told me some stuff that happened pre-mariage, more of her mother's abuse and the likes. they also mention having met the guy and he seemed like he geniunely cared about my neighbor

i felt conflicted on this. on one hand, the age gap is fucked up plain and simple. on the other hand, she finally had her ticket to escape from her mother and her life and to move to the city and i was happy for her. on the other, being pregnant at 18 is insane to me. on the other hand, despite the grossness of the age gap, if the guy is decent its still better than what she would've dealt with if she stayed even longer with her mother. this year, while visiting my grandparents, she came over to visit with her kid and husband and we talked. she seemed geniunely happy. the guy is nice, the kid is healthy, love and pampered, and she finally has some meat on her bones and color in her face. i obviously dont know and cant know what their life is like in the privacy of their own home but compared to the girl i knew before all of this she was doing a lot better. she started a cosmotology school and is soon going to start working. im happy for her, i wish she didnt have to end up being pregnant and married at 18, but i was still happy for her.

everything i said here i told more or less verbatim to the friend i mentioned in the begining. their takeaway was that i was defending the actions of this guy, that i should be even more visibly digusted, and that i support abusive men because i didnt hate their relationship. i didnt know what to even reply to that, as they went off calling me disgusting, calling my village and culture that "allowed" this mariage to be socially acceptable "barbaric" and that i should've spoke up about it. i tried to reiterate my point and clarify that i am digusted by the age gap but the situation my neighbor in was so fucked that you couldnt really do much. they didn't reply, and i haven't heard from them since (idm, we were never really close)

but now im wonder. AITA for seeing this situation the way i do? should i have done more to help her or talk about it?

What are these acronyms?

[clearnachopirate]

Terry and the batfam. Terry and the batfam. their dynamics have so much potential and i would LOVE to see it explored in any way at all

Terry and Dick: older brothers, trade stories of how they embarrass and get back at their younger brother(s), anger issue twins, "oh you were batman too??" "yeah, but its only bc one of my parents was murdered" "omg thats how i became robin no way"

Terry and Jason: the second most destructive duo, second only to terry and steph. not bc they fight or blow things up on patrol (thats tim and jasons thing) but bc anytime there a new gadget to try, terry will volunteer to use it, and jason will volunteer to 'spar' with terry to test it out. okay, maybe its bc they fight and blow stuff up, but its only ever in the batcave under supervision! "the tim from my dimension actually killed the joker" "no shit? did bruce stop me over there too?" "... about that--" sometimes they grab the others leather jacket by accident and both have given up on caring

Terry and Tim: terry "from the technological future" mcginnis and tim "designs loads of bat tech" drake talk shop, "my younger brother was made robin without my consent" club. tim listens to the works elcectro pop music ever and it just so happens to sound exactly like what they play at terrys favorite club. tim introduces him to (kon or bernard, take your pick) and they hit it off so well that they hang out without tim

Terry and Damian: ace the dog. terry invited damian to his AC island. both are bruce's bio kids and mamas boys. damian calling him "Terrance" and terry never recovering from it. terry knows damian from the future, kind of, and uses that knowledge to his advantage EVERY DAY

Terry and Duke: team "everyone thinks we're the normal one, they are wrong" they totally do movie marathons you cant tell me otherwise, their favorite thing to do is make bets abt the rest of the fam w cass. they never win against her. on any given day you can find them whispering about everyone else "duke, why the fuck were damian and tim staring each other down over breakfast" "hes mad dick said he can't poison him again" "what" "i know i thought they were over it by now"

Terry and Cass: cass sees him for the first time and sees that he rivals tim and dick in terms of being a mess and is determined to bond. terry hears about what she was trained for as a child and shrugs bc "i was supposed to be a second bruce, things change" cass will make him give her piggybacks when shes tired and terry has never dropped her

Terry and Stephanie: the most destructive duo. something happens to their braincells when they patrol together, buildings fall, bones break, civilians are crying, theres about ten minutes where everyone else thinks theyre both dead. they both are waiting at the cave for the others, terry is teching her how to make really shitty friendship bracelets (dana taught him, and stephanie is pretending she doesnt know how). they dont know why everyone else is so stressed "i texted you that we were fine, old man. steph and i just ran into black masks trafficing ring and took care of it-- why is dick crying?"

ALL of them have asked about the future before and the ONLY thing he ever reveals is out of context sayings and trends "yeah actually luigi and bowser have so much chemistry, well, i guess that movie isnt out yet huh" "???" (they think luigi and bowser are a cononical couple in the future and wonder where the world went so wrong) and (while interrogating smon) "watch out, you're not acting like the sigma you are, batman, try rizzing 'im up, then he'll talk."

him and bart meet (everyone tried to keep in from happening) and theyre from similar enough futures that when they talk, not a single person around them can follow it, they teach each other the different versions of different tik tok dances and terry goes back to the manor and teches them to steph, cass sees them do it once and has them memorized, duke thought it was funny, dick thought it was adorable (eventually they ALL know them, and it becomes an inside joke) tims prized possession is a video he got of damian doing the most dispassionate renegade the world has ever seen bc jon asked and he cant say no to him)

TL;DR:

terry mcginnis interacting w the other bat kids has a lot of potential for chaos and family bonding

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you still liveblog the qsmp because due to recent events I find it difficult to watch any stream for long, and I feel like looking at the tag will cause me unecessary stress, so seeing your posts helps keep me up to date!

Also, if you don't mind me asking here, could you explain the apparent reboot? I saw some people posting and rb about it, but I'm too scared to scroll through the tag to get context ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

Np! So the QSMP tweeted this image today vvv

thats a video, btw, its apparently the same/similar to the first QSMP trailer that released when the server was first announced. I didnt join till later so i cant like attest to this but its the same vibe from what ive seen. It shows someone walking up, sitting in the chair and text flashes on our screen "20 YEARS LATER", before the little screen starts playing the "welcome to isla quesadilla" intro video to the person in the chair.

Alongside this, Yangdding (if you dont know her shes a korean creator on the server) accidentally vague leaked about something special happening on the 25th, which is a similar date to the one shown.

Because of all these things, as well as some CCs wrapping up their character lore, tumblr (and i assume twitter but i dont go on twitter) are theorizing its going to be some kind of server reset/season 2/set up for a time loop scenario.

I personally support the time loop scenario, because various character stories and cc's (Fits story with madagio, as well as offhand comments by cc!bad, phil and foolish) support that this island is an ongoing, looping experiment.

Its not a foolproof theory, as there are some ties not tied up yet (such as leo and pepito still being up and active on the QSMP) but either way, everyone generally seems to remain nervouscited (nervous and excited) about the event, and the ghosties and tubblings are sticking with whatever bad and tubbo do.

[pokemonshelterstories]

Even after reading your FAQ and a bunch of asks you've answered, I'm still not sure if a shelter blog is the best place to ask this, so do feel free to delete this (or tell me privately that you won't post it, but only if you have the time and energy), but I can't think of anyone else, and if you do post it, you or some of your followers might have some interesting thoughts, so here goes:

How would you feel about using Pokeballs to catch Pokémon you're planning to eat?

For context, I and my siblings grew up in a small, mostly off-grid community, and while most details aren't relevant, we did hunt for food occasionally. We never used pokeballs, but instead bow and arrow, fishing rods, nets and traps.

These days I live closer to a big city, sharing a house with my brother, his husband, and their teenage son (my other nibling, their older child, has moved out a while ago, so they're not part of this story).

Last month, we visited the community my brother and I grew up in, and during our two week stay, I took my nephew on a hunting trip. He was decently enthusiastic to train his archery, but he asked why we don't just use pokeballs. Wouldn't it be easier? I didn't have an answer for him then, only that we'd been taught this way and that I'd never considered using pokeballs.

But I've been thinking about it. It would be easier, but wouldn't it also be more cruel? After all, by catching it in a pokeball, you're giving the pokemon false hope of a nice life with a trainer, only to then kill it. I feel like killing it quickly while it's still in the wild and doesn't know any better is more, like, honest maybe?

What do you or your followers think?

(If any angry vegans find this post, don't even waste your energy on a mean response or lecture, because most likely I have you blocked already, and if I don't, I'll correct that when I see you being rude to me)

oooh, this is an interesting ask to get...

i think this is really more of a matter of personal comfort with the idea of eating a pokemon that's been caught in a ball, but as long as it's done properly, i don't see anything wrong with it. after all, pokemon for the most part don't really have any concept of what's going to happen to them in the future.

as someone who hunts, you (i assume) understand our duty to give the pokemon we eat as painless of a death as possible. then, as trainers, we have a duty to maintain the 5 freedoms for our pokemon, which includes freedom from psychological stress. provided you meet those requirements, i think it's ok to catch a pokemon in a pokeball for the sake of eating it. it's more humane than certain types of traps that leave the pokemon struggling until the hunter comes to check them, and pokemon tend to relax in pokeballs, since they mimic the way pokemon curl up when healing. when the pokemon is released from its ball, you then just need to humanely slaughter it. there are some pokemon that i wouldn't do this with, since they don't immediately take well to being caught in a ball; buneary is a good example. but many common game pokemon do just fine.

i've actually used a different tool to help out with culling food pokemon- my styler! there are a lot of farms out near artazon, and rangers do sometimes get asked to help with keeping livestock mons calm in the moments leading up to slaughter. i've met rangers who aren't comfortable taking on those cases, and i've definitely gotten fussed at by my share of pokemon rights activists, but i think pokemon raised as food deserve as calm of an environment as possible. so, no, i dont think using pokeballs to trap game is cruel as long as you know what you're doing and don't stress the pokemon out. but if you're used to the way you already do things, don't feel like you have to change it up either.

[lecsainz]

Hi i absolutely love your stories.

And i dont know if you are also writing for dennis hauger but when yes could you then please do an dennis hauger x female reader where the reader has like a panick attack and he helps her.

Ly❤️

U ARE SAFE WITH ME

parings: dennis hauger x girlfriend!reader

summary: that one where you have an anxiety attack and your boyfriend - dennis - helps you.

authors note: maybe it didn't turn out quite how you wanted because i don't feel very comfortable writing about anxiety right now, but i hope you like it.

☆. . . masterlist !

The atmosphere was charged with anticipation as Dennis prepared for a crucial race. In the midst of the bustling paddock, Y/N, his girlfriend, tried to keep her nerves in check. The pressure of the event weighed on her, and suddenly, the world seemed to spin out of control.

Y/N's breath quickened, her heart pounding in her chest as the panic attack began to take hold. She couldn't breathe, and her vision blurred as the world around her became a chaotic whirlwind. In that moment of vulnerability, Dennis noticed her distress.

"Dennis... I can't... breathe," Y/N stammered, her voice trembling as she reached out for him, her hands shaking.

Without hesitation, Dennis pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her in a protective embrace. "Shh, it's okay, love." he whispered soothingly, his voice a calming presence amidst the chaos of the race. "Just focus on me. Breathe with me."

Dennis guided Y/N through deep breaths, their chests rising and falling in unison. Slowly, her racing heart began to steady, and the panic began to subside. The world regained its clarity as Y/N clung to Dennis, finding solace in his reassuring presence.

"I've got you," Dennis murmured, his hand gently rubbing her back. "You're safe with me."

As Y/N's breathing returned to normal, she felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for Dennis. In the midst of the high-stakes race, he had been there for her, a steady anchor in her storm of anxiety.

"Thank you," Y/N whispered, her eyes filled with appreciation as she looked up at him.

Dennis smiled warmly, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Always," he replied, his eyes filled with care and concern.

Seeing that Y/N had regained her composure, Dennis had an idea. He gently took her hand and said, "You know what would make us both feel better? Let's take a stroll through the paddock and grab some ice cream."

Y/N's eyes lit up with a hint of excitement at the suggestion. "Ice cream sounds perfect right now," she said, a small smile playing on her lips.

They left the bustling pit area behind and ventured into the paddock, the heart of the race where teams prepared for the competition. Despite the chaos of the event, Dennis and Y/N found a sense of peace in each other's company. Their fingers intertwined, they walked hand in hand.

As they approached an ice cream stand, Y/N's mood visibly lifted. She scanned the various flavors, her eyes sparkling with delight. "What flavor are you getting?" she asked Dennis.

Dennis chuckled. "I think I'll go with classic vanilla," he replied. "What about you?"

Y/N grinned mischievously. "I'm feeling adventurous today. I'll have the triple chocolate fudge swirl with extra sprinkles!"

They enjoyed their ice creams, savoring each sweet bite as they strolled through the paddock. The sounds of the race faded into the background. It was a moment of respite, a chance to savor the simple pleasures of life amidst the adrenaline-fueled world of motorsport.

As they continued their leisurely stroll through the paddock, something unexpected happened – raindrops began to fall from the sky, gently at first, and then more steadily. 

Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she felt the first drops hit her skin. Panic welled up within her again. She knew what the rain meant in this context; Dennis would have to race in wet conditions, which added an extra layer of stress to the already intense competition.

Y/N's expression shifted from one of serene enjoyment to one of unease. She glanced up at the sky, raindrops lightly splattering her face, and a sense of worry crept over her. Dennis immediately noticed the change in her demeanor.

"Hey," Dennis said, his voice filled with concern as he noticed Y/N's anxious expression. "What's wrong?"

Y/N bit her lower lip, her fingers subconsciously reaching for Dennis's hand. "It's just... the rain," she admitted hesitantly. "I'm scared for you out there on the track."

Dennis squeezed her hand reassuringly. "You know I can handle the rain, Y/N/N. Besides, I've got a great team behind me."

Despite his comforting words, Y/N's anxiety lingered, and her grip on Dennis's hand tightened. The thought of him racing in unpredictable weather conditions had triggered her panic attack earlier.

Dennis gently tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. "Look," he said, a soft smile on his face, "I promise I'll be extra careful out there, okay? And when I cross that finish line, we'll celebrate together, rain or shine."

Y/N managed a small, grateful smile. She knew Dennis had a passion for racing that couldn't be swayed by a little rain. "I don’t know why but you always know how to calm me down." she admitted.

Dennis chuckled, his eyes sparkling with affection. "That's what I'm here for, sweetheart." he replied.

As the rain continued to fall, they headed back toward the race area. Y/N knew that no matter the conditions, she would be there, cheering for Dennis every step of the way, just as he had been there for her when she needed him the most.