#dyadic people reblog this

[trans-axolotl]

my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.

before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.

but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.

as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.

pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.

it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)

the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.

this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.

so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.

an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.

another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.

there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.

i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.

[intersex-support]

hi, um...

firstly, i'm really sorry if this post will makes any intersex person uncomfortable. you can just don't publish it, if you see this question is unacceptable.

and also, tw: dysphoria

i don't know if i am intersex, but let's pretend i am not, just because i don't feel i have a right to call myself this way. especially before any tests.

i called myself non-binary or androgynous, in the childhood, for some reason, i used a word he*****dite.

i have physical and social dysphoria from a both sides, too masc or too fem = day ruined. voice, body, hair, face... all of it. i know intersex ≠ androgyny, i know intersex it is a many variations. i don't think intersex people can't look masculine or feminine (or any other way they want to).

and... let's say... i had really hard times with dysphoria. and now i have it, too. i... i think it sounds ridiculous, but i feel my experience... i think i need to call myself intersex.

well. i said it.

honestly, i'm not sexualizing intersex people or think they look in one certain way. i just feel like i had to be intersex, born as one. i... i really can't explain what it means. i just know it.

i don't think being intersex if fun or *special*. i just want to live normal life with myself. i, honestly, i never will say i have experience as intersex people have. i know, i do not.

it's just really hurt to think i was born F/M, not I. i had to be intersex. maybe it sounds crazy or disrespectful. to me, born as F or M almost similar painful.

i know i will never be able to be myself. it's all was wrong from the very beginning. i don't use any labels such as "intersex" or "transintersex" or whatever. i don't think i have i right to be in intersex spaces as a member, not ally.

my questions are...

do you think my identity have a right to be or it's disrespectful for intersex people? do you believe it exists? will i hurt actually intersex people if i start to call myself intersex?

i'm really sorry. it was almost 10 years of my physical dysphoria and 20 years of social. i thought about this so many times, and i don't know how to stop feel this way.

anon, I will be honest that this question does make me uncomfortable, but I'm going to answer it anyway, because we get a lot of questions like this and yours is one of the less offensively phrased, so I want to take the time to answer this now.

If you are not intersex, you cannot identify as intersex. intersex people are not being mean or cruel when we say this, this is just a fact. And because we are so used to our bodies being fetishized, and people only paying attention to intersex experiences when it is convenient for them, we often are justifiably upset when we are continually asked questions by endosex/dyadic people who want to lay claim to intersex experiences without being intersex. so many people do not understand the extent of intersex oppression, the multifacted ways that stigma can shape our lives, and the amount of violence that many of us face whether it's medical violence, sexual violence, or otherwise. and so many of our experiences are shaped by our other identities--our transness, our race, our disabilities--so many ways that our lives as intersex people can become entangled with the oppression we face. that's not to say that being intersex is inherently a negative or traumatizing experience, but rather to express that the intersex community is so fragmented and isolated that oftentimes, we spend years without ever meeting any other intersex people and internalize our own experiences as our fault rather than understanding the underlying oppressive forces at work. I have so much intersex pride and love being intersex, but that is something that took years for me to be able to say.

being intersex is so much more than just our physical bodies, our diagnoses, or our experiences with dysphoria. i know you said that you understand that being intersex does not equal androgyny, but I'm not sure you actually have accepted what that means when you talk about it at the same time as you talk about your dysphoria around being perceived as masc or fem. I really think you have a lot of misconceptions about what it is like to live as intersex and your questions reflect those misunderstandings. I think statements like "just really hurt to think i was born F/M, not I" are statements that are really hard for intersex people, especially intersex people who experienced IGM at birth, to look at because it reflects such a distance from the ramifications of actually getting marked as "I" at birth.

I believe that your dysphoria is valid and that your distress is real-I'm not intending to invalidate that, and I think that you deserve support and compassion for those experiences. but i do not think intersex community is the space to seek that support, and i do not think calling yourself intersex is something that is an appropriate way to cope with that distress. I do think that it hurts intersex community when endosex people label themselves as intersex because it actively makes it harder for us to build community when we are already so isolated.

I do not have any intention of shaming you for having the dysphoria and experiences you do, but I think you do need to do some more self reflection about the way you engage with intersex community, and develop some clearer boundaries about how you act as an ally without centering yourself. If you want to seek support for these experiences, you need to figure out a way to do it that isn't harmful to the intersex people you interact with, or seek support elsewhere. I do genuinely hope that this dysphoria and distress becomes easier to deal with for you.

also, i think it really isn't appropriate to share that you used to identify as a hermaphrodite as a child. I understand you were a kid and didn't know better, but like, I really hope you understand that hermaphrodite is a slur that is very, very painful for many intersex people to see and we really don't have a lot of interest in hearing any justifications for endosex people using the slur in any context.

overall I can't really stop you from doing anything, I am not the authority on intersex community, and I am only one intersex person and am happy for other intersex people to add on/disagree in the comments. But I am not interested in giving you permission to identify as intersex when you know that you are not intersex.

[dhddmods]

Trans-women & cis-women can't be told apart.

So tired of people saying they "aren't attracted to trans-women" or "aren't attracted to intersex women."

You cannot tell who is cis or trans by looking at them. You cannot tell who is intersex or dyadic. You can have genital preferences, but you can't know what's in someone's pants by looking at them.

Intersex women can be cisgender. They can be AFAB. They can appear fully female externally, while having "male" or ambiguous organs internally. Or they can be fully female internally and externally, with only their chromosomes or hormones being different. (If you want to actually learn what it means to be intersex, read our post on it and reblog to spread awareness.)

And even if a cisgender woman is female, they can be altersex. They can choose to have their genitals altered. They can choose to go on hormones of some kind.

Equally, trans women can be intersex. They can have a vulva. Or they can be transsex, and have a vaginoplasty or vulvoplasty.

A cis woman could be intersex and have atypical genitals.

A trans woman could be intersex and have a vulva.

A trans woman could have a vulva from bottom surgery.

A cis woman could have been born with a vulva, but due to being altersex, have their genitals changed through bottom surgery.

A cis woman could be bulky, have a deep voice, have lots of body or facial hair, and a prominent Adams apple, due to being intersex, altersex and using hormones, or just straight up genetics.

A trans woman could be petite, have a light voice, have very little hair, and no Adams apple due to being intersex, altersex/transsex, or just straight up genetics.

A cis woman could have no uterus and/or ovaries, due to being intersex or having a hysterectomy or oophorectomy.

A cis woman could have testicles due to being intersex, or being altersex and having prosthetic testes.

A trans woman could have a uterus and/or ovaries due to being intersex.

Saying you are "only attracted to cis-women" is just ignorance, transphobia, intersexism, and altersexism. You don't know what you are talking about. You are implying that trans or intersex women look "less feminine" or "less like a woman." You are WRONG if you think that.

Yes, transphobes and intersexists unfortunately can sometimes clock a trans or intersex women, but cisgender dyadic women are also being accused of "not passing" constantly by transvestigators. That's our point. PASSING AND NOT PASSING IS CISNORMATIVE AND RIDICULOUS.

This goes for people who claim not to be attracted to trans or intersex men too. But its more often seen for trans and intersex women.

[queercripintersex]

Tumblr intersex polls without votes from non-intersex people

My project for this evening was to go through past tumblr polls I and others have made for intersex people and re-calculate them to show only the intersex respondents. This is because non-intersex respondents have overwhelmed the results to a point where you can't really see the differences between responses from actually intersex people (sigh). Here are the graphs I got:

Questions About Intersex Journeys

From: when did your intersex variation become evident? (Not same as finding out you were intersex). Puberty was by far the most common, which checks out with the most common intersex variations typically presenting at puberty.

From: when did you find out you were intersex? Here most people figured it out in adulthood but it varied a lot whether there had been signs beforehand. A lot of people figured it out in adolescence which I found heartening!

From: what led you to question if you were intersex? Most common reason is medical but a lot of people wrote in that it was a combination of medical, social, and psychological motivations to question.

From: how many intersex people have you knowingly met in person? This result was not so heartening, with the plurality of respondents having never knowingly met another intersex person. When we intersex people talk about isolation and invisibility this is the sort of thing we mean; it's a real problem.

:(

Questions About Gender and Intersex

From: how much do you feel being intersex influences your gender identity? (@skelejon) An almost uniform spread from "it is my gender identity" to "not at all", most common response being "a lot".

From: ipsogender poll (@intertrek). Ipsogender refers to intersex people who identify with their gender assigned at birth. From replies seems a lot of people saying "not sure" felt it was up to the individual ipsogender person to decide.

.🌈

Terminology Questions

From: intersex vs DSD? (@our-queer-experience) Overwhelming preference for intersex here.

From: term for non-intersex? I don't like dyadic so I honestly gumbled at this but these were the results. This poll I think shifted me towards using perisex more often than endosex but I still kinda mix it up.

From: what term do you use more commonly to describe intersex discrimination/oppression? (@trans-axolotl) Strong consensus here on "intersexism".

If there are any other intersex polls that you want to see re-plotted with only the intersex responses let me know! Thanks to everybody who voted, reblogged, and created these polls! <3

EDIT: I license this post as Creative Commons 4.0 Sharealike.

[identitty-dickruption]

sorry reblogging a couple of my old intersex posts because I saw another rancid take in the intersex tag <3

I wish dyadic people a very "Jesus Christ PLEASE stop sexualising us and seeing us as nothing but sexual objects", and I hope my fellow intersex people are having a good day, surrounded by people who adore them for who they are

[mangedog]

there's a post i reblogged recently about trans people and reproductive disorders and forced outing, and it reminded me of my own experiences as a trans man with a “female” reproductive disorder.

very long rant disguised as an info post below the cut:

so, i have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). it's a horribly named syndrome because polycystic ovaries - which are just one symptom of PCOS - aren't required to have PCOS, and you can have polycystic ovaries without having PCOS.

it's also badly named because it shifts the focus immediately to the “female” reproductive system, when PCOS is a complex, genetic, multi-system syndrome that affects the neuroendocrine, immune, digestive and metabolic systems. it's actually primarily a disorder of the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis... not a disorder of the ovaries. i mean, i don't have ovaries anymore, and i never had cysts, but i still have PCOS.

it has a lot of subtypes and varieties (some researchers think it's actually different disorders all being misdiagnosed & lumped under the PCOS label), some of which can be considered intersex variations.

the other reason it's so badly named? dyadic cisgender men can have PCOS too.

and yet... absolutely no one recognises this. only (some) researchers actually acknowledge that PCOS isn't just a reproductive disorder and that anyone can have it and that its intersex. and the people who ignore it the most are the women with PCOS.

(yes, women with PCOS, because it's [almost] always the cis 'wouldn't touch the intersex label with a ten foot pole' (white) women who push the PCOS female reproductive disorder narrative the most)

PCOS spaces are almost invariably full of stories from women who are upset at their 'lack of femininity' and 'losing their bodies' to become fat, hairy un-women. the kind of people who go on 800 calories per day diets because they're so desperate to lose weight, even though PCOS itself makes this near impossible (as a metabolic disorder). and there are so so many snake oil websites (that are always pink and flowery) that are selling the magic cure for weight loss - hirsuitism - femininity all rolled into one.

all these PCOS women reassure each other that they're still women, even though they're fat and hairy and can't get pregnant - which , sure, if that's what you need to hear then there's no shame in that. but... not all people with PCOS are women. some are trans men, some are cis men, some are nonbinary, some are intersex women or men or nonbinary people... and sure. i don't expect every person looking for community support with their PCOS to read scientific papers on cis male PCOS, or to be aware of the existence of nonbinary people or trans men (though if they have an internet connection i'm sure they've heard something lol), but some thought would be nice.

i mean. the r/pcos subreddit explicitly states they're inclusive of LGBT people with PCOS but every second post begins with "ladies" or "cysters"... and there have been many posts and comments outraged at the notion of PCOS as intersex. (many supportive, too, but the overall vibe is definitely the latter). that's just one space on one social media website, and there will be spaces that are better than r/pcos ... and spaces that will be worse.

my point is, PCOS is a very complex syndrome that is terribly named, not restricted to the reproductive system or dyadic cis women, and community spaces need to reflect that.

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

Hey! Do you know if it's okay for a person with PCOS to identify as intersex? I've seen some intersex people say yes, and I know you've reblogged a post before agreeing with that. Is that a common view in the intersex community? I was recently diagnosed with PCOS but have experienced the symptoms for at least a decade when I started to notice the symptoms as a teenager. I was worried about "stealing" the intersex identity, even though I know that's not necessarily possible to do. I don't have some of the very commonly talked about experiences of intersex people, namely the forced gender-conforming surgeries at birth, so I worried if I was allowed to call myself intersex. I would like to be part of the intersex community, and my OCD tells me that me wanting to be part of the community means I'm trying to force myself into a community I don't belong (which my OCD told me about my trans identity too, and I've realized over the past two years that I have a lot of trans experiences). I just really don't want to "fake" being intersex or offend intersex people. I hear so much exclusionism and gatekeeping and treatment of oppression like an honorable title that only the few are allowed (I haven't heard this from intersex people, just people in general), and I guess I've internalized that stuff despite hating exclusionism. Thank you for answering this ask if you choose to!

Hi! Thanks for the question!

Yes, PCOS is deffo widely considered a form of being intersex, particularly by the intersex community ourselves! It usually causes a higher level of T in afab people, which fits the definition of intersex.

Sadly dyadics like to police us and many of them think being intersex means you have to have both a vulva and a penis, which isn’t true and is a far rarer occurrence.

In my view, and most intersex people’s views in my experience, you’re welcome in the intersex community if you want to be 🥰

[harrypotterfuryroad]

you only said "no" to "are you a terf?" because you've bought into the "it's RADFEM" bullshit smh. you're not slick. literally half your posts are filtered for me because their original tags contained "radfems do interact", "radfems please interact", "radfems please touch" etc. Well, here are some excerpts from a former radfem's take on radical feminism in a trans person's inbox:

"Radfems are just TERFs who won’t say tr*nny, but the rhetoric is the same, and the ideology that backs it is the same.) and so women’s oppression is based on [a dyadic view] of biology. [...]

"TERFs also like to say that they don’t want trans people dead, and lots of them probably don’t, actively, want trans people dead. again, this doesn’t matter; they support and hide and protect the ones that do, and their rhetoric and the things they want to achieve do that whether they say they want it to or not, and they know this, but their allegiance to female-ness and sex-based oppression is simply more important. [...]

"I left TERF-ism because I’m black, really. I couldn’t stomach watching black trans women dying, and I didn’t really see how they were hurting feminism or infiltrating womanhood. All I could see was those women’s victimhood and I couldn’t be a part of that anymore–but even after I stopped associating with those people, stopped reblogging and liking their posts and stuff, I agreed with them, deep down.

"And it wasn’t until it was explained that way that I could easily sort through what was 'fascist’ and what was 'non-fascist’. I could use that to measure up my anti-racist activism… not fascist. LGBT/queer rights? Not fascist. Disability activism? Inherently leftist, actually. But TERF-ism? There was no way for men or trans women to ever be entitled to live and thrive in a TERF world, which made me realize that TERFs are inherently fascistic."

idk how aware of it you even are, but you are neck-deep in radfem ideology, and it's really not okay. i hope you eventually have the courage to see that and change.

filtering tags like that is for weenies

anyway yeah i remember that post, it was hot nonsense throughout, but you handpicked the worst parts

massive citation needed for that first point (but that would require you to define what a radfem is beyond "person i've decided i disagree with" which i know you can't so we'll just keep going)

"women's oppression is based on a dyadic view of biology" yes, unequivocally true, observing this doesn't make you any kind of bigot

i could just as easily turn this point around on you, we point out violent misogyny and homophobia constantly but we get #notallmen'd every time

"i left because i'm black" is really where the cracks start to show. "i couldn't stomach watching black trans women dying" at whose hands? and are they dying in such huge numbers that they're overwhelming other women dying? and are they getting harmed by things that maybe feminist activism is trying to address? can you even answer those questions in detail? the constant implication that feminists are responsible for the murder of trans women is a little tiresome, maybe look into what actually happened instead of using murder victims as props

"easily sort through what is fascist and what was nonfascist" when their working definition of fascism seems to be "things i'm told i don't like." crazy enough, men thriving is not a primary goal of feminism! if you can articulate why "all lives matter" is stupid and racist then this should also be easy for you to grasp (and if you can't articulate that, that's on you). why do racial minorities, sexual minorities, and people with disabilities warrant an activist movement but women don't?

but thanks for your concern, i'll change my ways immediately

[varsex-pride]

hi can u tell me what varsex means I've never heard the term before and I can only gather so much context clues from ur posts to have a vague idea

found u bc u reblogged my infracis post. thanks btw

We coined varsex as a more ample term alternative to parsex. This blog was called parsex-pride and there we coined varsex.

We never explained it too much, here's the coining post. It's an umbrella term for people who are intersex, transsex, altersex, not infrasex, not cissex, not protosex, not dyadic/not perisex/not endosex, and beyond.

There was already a phrase term for it: sex variant (with synonyms: sex nonconformist, sex nonconforming). Variant is a concept that was amplified by @/variant-archive.

It also alludes to variations, which is a replacement for "conditions" (which alludes to disorders), as a way of depathologizing language (nothing wrong with considering your own variation a disorder or a condition, it's an opt-in label).

Parsex, in the other hand, was too restricted to altersex and/or intersex. Though varsex is basically the same, it can be used beyond these two experiences (eg. enbysex, sexqueer, perintersex, condisex) or as a blanket term as well.

Sorry if I confused your term, because maybe I thought it meant infrasex + cis*, or another ample form of infra-. tell us if you want us to delete it.

The term is used outside this blog:

Users may have helped expanding it to other areas. I noticed some terms like varsexgender or this wiki page make it seem like a synonym of altersex, and I also noticed some intersex people used varsex as a term of self-discovery before realizing they are confident in their intersex identity. So it's useful for quoisex and extersex/inter-questioning people I guess. Though we are not involved in the coining of variayr, somatic varsex experiences can exist, but it should be noted intersex traits can't be achieved through somatization.

[intersexfairy]

happy Intersex Awareness Day! intersex people, feel free to reblog this with your story, messages for other intersex people, or things you wish dyadic (non-intersex) people knew. <3

[trans-axolotl]

also this is the reason why i hate the whole discussion about "oh can we still say hermaphrodite in science discussions" because like. you all do not fucking understand the weight of the word. what it feels like when someone calls you a hermaphrodite when you are fearing for your fucking life. the amount of times i had to call myself a hermaphrodite because no one fucking knew what intersex meant but i needed to find a way to disclose that to clients so i didn't end up assaulted again when they were surprised. you don't know how much i fucking hated myself for that and what that was fucking like to experience at 16. like. that is what that word means to me! that's what i think of when i hear it! lots of other intersex people have their own stories, their own ways this slur was weaponized against us and written down in our medical records and a million fucking things. so i really don't want to hear from dyadic people who have never had this slur used against them about how hard it is to find an alternative word and how they just really really need to be able to still say it because of all the scientific discussions that are happening all the time or whatever. literally fuck off i don't care

[intersex-support]

It's intersex awareness day!

For many of intersex people, it feels like we spend a lot of our time in survival mode. Intersexism, trauma, and medical abuse can really impact our ability to access financial stability.

any intersex people, feel free to reblog and add your payment links to this post.

Dyadic/endosex people, if you're able to, help out some intersex people this IAD!

[steviecrowdude]

Im starting to get followers now! Yaay!

Edit: im just gonna put a read more cuz this is a lot and i hate scrolling through it to see my blog. This is about me :) im not editing the full thing but i might at some point.

I reblog whatever i see that i wanna reblog. I may forget to tag things, but i try to if i have enough energy and it really needs tagging. This includes memes and funny stuff, but also just stuff i find important.

I am a trans man. Binary trans man (edit: to yall at least, behind the curtain I'm fuckin around with gender). No connection to womanhood other than the fact i dont publicly pass. He/him. If theres anyone out there who decides to come here and try and tell me im a sad woman or something, no. You dont know me, i know myself. Welcome to my blog.

I dont do that trans gatekeeping stuff. You fuck with gender? Ya trans (if you want. We also love gnc people here. Also you dont need to id as trans.) Neopronouns and xenogenders are amazing, and contradictory labels are cool as shit. I feel sad i need to clarify that but i do want to.

Im also Aroace and sex repulsed, dont know about the romance repulsed part, but it sounds right. What those things mean to me are private to me.

If you dont have sex, me too dude hell yeah. If you do? Hell yeah dude have fun. I want people to be happy and safe (whatever that means to you) and if youre consenting to it, then i cant think of anything better. (All that to say, dont fuckin, use sex repulsed people to be antikink or something, like c'mon)

Oh, im also autistic, and i have a medley of other mental stuff and neurodivergencies that i have yet to be diagnosed with.

Edit: im also definitely chronically ill in some way so i reblog about physically disabled stuff too

Edit again: i have fibromyalgia so you'll see me reblogging about that

Im gonna reblog things that have to do with that stuff.

I also reblog things i think are important, such as bipoc rights and safety, disabled rights, intersex rights and queer rights in general, safety for everyone, religious freedom and human rights. (Im white, dyadic, and nonreligious, so do tell me if i reblog something thats iffy. Ill be happy to delete it.)

Edit as of January 9th 2024: i feel like i should clarify just because of the rise in antisemitism in the us especially; i dont tolerate that type of stuff. If your support of palestine and people in gaza comes at the cost of your support for jewish people you can leave cuz i dont wanna interact with you. I will advocate for the people in gaza being killed and attempt to uplift their voices, but i will not tolerate antisemitism in the same breath.

Like i mentioned before, if i reblog something and someone following me feels like its fucked up, ill delete it.

I mostly reblog memes and things i find funny.

A lot.

I dont tend to interact with fandom spaces much. But i do enjoy the funny from fandoms, and i reblog fandom content.

Thank you for reading :)

[just-dandelion-thoughts]

if you need help writing an intersex character:

My form of intersexuality is PCOS with high levels of androgens, and I'm fairly dyadic-passing, so I can't speak for all intersex people. If you have any questions about intersexuality, if you want to write an intersex character, hell, even if you're just curious: feel free to throw something at the askbox, feel free to reblog with whatever, feel free to comment.

Disclaimer: I am by no means an expert on intersexuality. I'm simply offering help with understanding general intersexuality and specifically my condition. For general resources (not writing stuff), @intersex-support is your best bet.

Thank you to @terminalerror for pointing that out to me, that's my bad! I'm glad you caught that before this got reblogged. As terminalerror said in the replies, intersex-support is by intersex people, for intersex people, so don't go asking them for writing advice. That being said, their resources page has lots of information on intersexuality, so feel free to browse!

[identitty-dickruption]

just had someone reblog my post about how you can’t transition from dyadic to intersex and say “I agree but I hate that this post implies that people who transition to be intersex aren’t intersex”. okay. you don’t agree then? did you even read the post? help?

[the-one-and-only-aroace]

being intersex doesn't discount anyone's womanhood you are literally just intersexist and transphobic in that you think only dyadic women can be real women. shut the fuck up!

I don’t think dyadic women are the only real women. Sometimes I make posts that are simply responses to popular notions. Such as the fact that every brown woman who doesn’t fit perfectly into ridiculous standards of what a woman is that are based deeply in colonialism and white supremacy are lesser women. Because white trans people like to (usually on accident, it’s just white people being white people) ignore that before gender was used violently against trans people who called themselves trans, it was used against people of color. And to this day, when a woman of color is violated in the name of proving her a woman, people still have to add the little dismissal of her not being a “real” woman because unless she was a white woman, she’d never conform enough to be a true woman.

Being intersex doesn’t negate the fact that you are a woman, but people sure act like it. It’s one of those things that I assume the people who choose to follow me after seeing an untagged, not meant to be reblogged post understand. I’m not making a vent post with a dozen disclaimers that I disagree with every way the world acts. I don’t make a post about how a Latino man breathing wrong means he’s a threat to white women and expect you to take that at face value. I don’t agree with everything I say in vent posts because I’m venting about people thinking like that.

And no, it wasn’t meant to be a perfect description of what happened, or a detailed deconstruction of the bigotry she faced. It was a vent post I didn’t tag or reblog, because I don’t really want people to see it that bad. The people who did like and reblog it understand what it means because they understand that being brown means gender is a tool used to dehumanize and demean you. Or even if that wasn’t their first though, they believe I’m in good enough faith to not actually mean being intersex makes you less of a woman.

I would’ve deleted this ask because you clearly are ready to outright dismiss me, but I believe you’re in good faith because looking at that post, I’m not going to hold it against you for thinking it was some one sentence rebuttal against the situation. That I was seriously saying that her being intersex would make her less than a woman.

I also know you probably won’t believe me, because that’s how the internet works, so blocking or unfollowing is probably what you should do. I definitely have at least double the amount of blogs blocked that I have ever followed and it’s great. Just do it, the only person who will know is you.