#eat muh dick

[kooqitas]

— need to deserve ★ with: jjk!

#pairings: jjk X reader

#synopsis: you are willing to do anything to cum

#tags: pwp, sex, rough sex, cockslut, rough sex, spanking, spit, vaginal sex, degradation, humiliation, orgasm denial, orgasm play, feetkink (you use his feet!), idk i just wanna write something hot

🌸 . . nsfw, +18 | 

🌴 english isn’t my first language, so be patient :)

’to cum on my dick need to deserve, and i think you won’t deserves that’’

‘’jungkook, please’’ you scream, crying because you really need cum, that was all too much.

it was the second or third time he stopped right when you were going to cum, it was frustrating you

‘’please? now you can say ‘please’? you are pathetic!’’ he spit on you, literally! ‘’and i still fuck this hole until i feel satisfied’’

‘’please let me cu, i do anything’’

‘’anything? including let me eat this asshole, hm?’’

‘’yes! so, please, let me cum’’

he laughed, removing completely his dick of you.

‘’i don’t know, i can found a hole in everywhere, why i choose just you’’

‘’jungkook, pleaseeee’’ you moaning, sounding like a plea, in that situation you would let jungkook fuck any hole of yours, you just wanted him.

and he knows that! he gives a slap on your face, spit on you again, laugh for the way you are.

‘’just that? you really think that one ‘please’ give me fuck you? c’mon girl, if you want you need ask, but better.’’

‘’jungkook, i really need to cum, fuck, please’’

‘’so boring, what type of slut you are?’’

‘’your!’’ you answered.

‘’oh no, with this pathetic way you really think that is mine?’’ 

‘’to be honest, jungkook, if you won’t like me, you won’t be here’’

oh, yes, mostly, you are a sub, you really were a good sub, but sometimes pushing back was necessary…

‘’you’re right, so i cum… i cum in this pussy, my pussy, right?’’

‘’only your’’

so his put his cock in you again, and for the fifth or sixth time in this night, his spit on you, when fuck your pussy.

‘’in a while you won't be of any use anymore, this hole is getting wide open, i like tight whores’’

‘’y-your di-dick opened m-me’’

‘’of course is my dick, or my slut is giving her cunt for other guys… or girls?’’

‘’no… just you’’

‘’is this needy hole just for me?’’ you agree. 

he still fucking you, pinching your nipples and spanking you every time his cock entered in you again.

‘’noooo, jungkook nooo’’ you scream. ‘’please, let me cum, please. anything.’’

jungkook got up, sitting at the foot of the bed, you didn't even understand what he was doing there.

‘’how muh you want cum, baby?’’

oh, no! you know that tone of voice.

‘’do you anything? really?’’

you knew that 'anything' excluded what you had talked about before and one of you had refused, so you weren't afraid to agree

‘’yes! anything, so let me cum, please’’

‘’ride on my feet!”

‘’on your face?’’

‘’has the cock you received affected your hearing? sit on my fucking feet!’’

the reality is that you were so desperate that you didn't even think, you placed your pussy against jungkook's foot, moaning at the cold contact.

‘’really a cockslut! but only one hole is not enough for me! suck my dick when you ride, whore!’’

and you obeyed, of course you obeyed.

jungkook didn't give up, pulling your hair and pushing his foot more and more against you, it was so humiliating to moan on top of your foot with his cock in your mouth, but damn, it felt so good

and you came right there on his foot, specifically when he pressed his thumb against your entrance, making your wet pussy swallow his finger.

but you didn't stop riding, you knew you couldn't.

and he ended up cumming again when, as he came in your mouth, he put his thumb in your asshole, the finger without any lubrication entering you gave a mix of pain and pleasure that only jungkook would know how to tease

‘’at least this one is still tight, we'll have to play with it now’’

and then he pulled you by your hair, throwing you doggy style on the bed.

 you knew the night was just beginning

[yaekiss]

no thoughts just dragon dan heng in heat being horny 24/7. like you'll have to physically DRAG this man off your dick so he doesn't kill you of exhaustion. i will take my leave now

꩜ Room Content: Dom! Top! GN! Reader x Sub! Bottom! IL Dan Heng, no gendered terms for reader, reader has a cock, mentions of IL Dan Heng having 2 dicks, breeding kink, mating press, lmk if I missed out anything ! ꩜ A/N: ANON UR BRAINNNNNN, this brainrot plagued me for like a week as evident from this other ramble I wrote for Dan Heng orz... THE GRIP THIS MAN HAS ON MY BRAIN (and my dick) !! KEEP UR IDEAS COMING ANON (just like how Dan Heng keeps you coming in him I MEAN WHATTT)

Under the influence of his heat, Dan Heng is near insatiable.

You can always tell when his heat is coming up with the way he’s constantly trying to rile you up. Trailing a hand up your thigh under the table when you sit next to him in the parlor car, sinfully whispering about how he needs you inside him right nowwww! He becomes increasingly clingy, dragging you off to his room to cuddle and wrap his tail around you like he’s trying to press every inch of him onto your skin. It’s not surprising if the cuddle session turns a little more heated when he tries to rut against your thigh as he crams his face into the crook of your neck to inhale your scent. 

If you thought he was bad before his heat, you’re ill-prepared for the whore he becomes during his heats. Really, it’s as if he can’t live without your dick inside him 24/7, always whining and begging, close to tears when you need to stop and pull out of him to catch your breath. Normally, Dan Heng wouldn’t behave like this. However, one must not underestimate the neediness of a dragon in heat. Need to go shower? It’s ok you can fuck him in the shower, he can suck you off as he kneels on the tiled floor. Need go to the kitchen to grab something to eat? He’s following you and spreading his ass so you can eat him out. Huh, that’s not what you meant??

“Let’s go for hhah… one muh- more round, please [name]!”

It’s a little ridiculous how slutty he gets, all the knowledge he’s gained from the erotica he secretly reads every time he misses you at night is finally getting put to good use. He wants you to fuck him in every position possible but he absolutely loves it when you manhandle him into a mating press, the feeling of you reaching unthinkably deep in him gets him all shaky with lust. The searing grip you have on the back of his thighs as you push his knees up to his shoulders combined with how your length slides into his warm hole has him giddy with pleasure. He’s purring loudly at how your cock hits all the right spots in him and his tail is flicking wildly on the bed. Stuffing him full of your cum isn’t enough, he needs to get bred. 

“Hnngh! You ff- fuck! -feel so sososo good in mE!! Breed me breed me pleaseplease [naME]!”

Nothing is stopping him from wringing out every single drop of cum from you, if you tire easily, no problem, he’ll just ride you! As much as you’d like to complain, the sight above you is fucking gorgeous. Dan Heng has his head thrown back in pure ecstasy, his makeup is smudged, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he moans and cries. When he bounces on your cock, his own dicks slap up against his tummy and he whimpers so beautifully at the added stimulation. His walls clamp down hard on your length to try to milk you for all you’re worth. He doesn’t have to worry about not being able to walk tomorrow because as far as he knows, the two of you will be fucking alllll week! (Dan Heng’s line of reasoning is: No need to walk if all you’re gonna do is fuck uncontrollably like bunnies!)

He only has one thing on his mind: getting bred by you ♡

Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡

[crusherthedoctor]

I like when anthros show their species' mannerisms and traits from time to time, but even I understand that there's a spectrum on how "human" or " animal" they are, depending on the series.

(If Sonic, Amy and Shadow started eating bugs, Knuckles' legs now being backwards and has no teeth, and Tails was constantly fighting the urge to eat his friends cause his species in RL is a predator to most of the cast, people would wondering what the heck was going at Sega for them to unironically approve that outside of a joke.)

Sonic Adventure, but every time Knuckles is onscreen, his four dicks are hanging out.

I enjoy giving Trudy some horsie quirks, but they're meant to be an extra flavor that add to her character. They're not meant to convey Trudy as comparable to a real life horse. Even putting aside that she's an anthro and can talk, I'm well aware that some of said quirks might not be one-to-one in-line with how they work in real life for real horses, like emotion-wise and what have you. So these quirks aren't there because OMG muh attention to realism, they're there because I thought it'd be endearing if Trudy snorted when annoyed and held out her hands in a way that mimics prancing when she's curious, among other things.

[datmoongamer]

Edit: How are both sides this stupid holy hell. Glad I exist in a majority Asian community irl because this is fucking ridiculous. So many racists outright using slurs for Japanese people while saying "but Japanese culture and historical accuracy." So many white liberals saying that Asian men are imagining the lack of representation in Western media and that, I quote, "representation is not a right."

I was mad about the new Assassin's Creed not having an Asian protagonist and then realized there were loads of other games with Asian protags. Still mad but Sleeping Dogs just finished downloading 💯 白左很麻烦，算了。汉人的电动有汉人。Have fun google translating this one. Oh no, do you need a knowledge of slang to translate this one? Being a wikipedia warrior isn't working out for you and you're no longer able to act as the white savior? Can't believe these "activists" claim they're not racist and then pull shit like "everyone mad about a game set in feudal Japan not having an Asian protagonist is actually a racist white incel chud."

There was a long, well-articulated comment by an Asian man that was crossposted to are slash gamingcirclejerk discussing his concerns about the portrayal of Asian men as effeminate, emasculating, and unappealing in western media and how this intersects with the race of the new AC protagonist, and every comment was deriding him without reading it at all. "wall of text," "not reading allat but it's probably a hateful rant against black people," "this is a grifter, Asian men don't care about their representation." "this is a grifter, Asian people don't self-describe as 'Asian.'" The entire r/AsianMasculinity sub was written off as "full of incels and white people" like they know a thing about how painfully bitter and humiliating it can be to be an ethnically Asian man living in the west.

Sure, I'm disappointed that the new protag isn't Asian, but Yasuke seems like a cool guy and both terminally online conservatives and liberals are dragging him into this culture war. Conservatives are using Asians as an excuse to be racist against Black people. "Muh Japanese culture" "muh historical accuracy" shut the fuck up, you were making jokes about eating dogs and small dicks and the CCP mere days ago. Liberals use StopAsianHate as a woke point to parade around but the moment Asians speak up about their discomfort with their representation or lack thereof in western media, they're immediately accused of being racist. Full mask-off. They're "anti-racist" and treat Asians as an oppressed group only when it's convenient for them.

On an unrelated note, Assassin's Creed: Black Flag is peak. Once I finish muting the political subs on reddit I'll achieve inner peace lol

[dreadysficrecs]

Stucky Fic Rec List #35

Tuesday, May 3

🧶Heckin' Chunker for Love by canistakahari - [Teen; 2,7k words]

[Modern AU; Meet-Cute; Cats; Fluff and Humour]

On the inside of the big floor to ceiling window of the office across the street, someone has used Post-it Notes to spell out a message:

W H A T I S Y O U R C A T ’ S N A M E ?

🌼Alpine Barnes and the First Date by lavenderbucky - [Gen; 1,1k words]

[Modern AU; Alpine; POV Alpine; First Dates; Fluff and Humour]

Alpine Barnes watches her owner get ready for a date with a mysterious guy he's met on a dating app.

🍒hear your call by @silentwalrus1 - [Explicit; 6,3k words]

[Canon Divergence; Established Relationship; BDSM; Kink Negotiation; Spanking; Humiliation; Anal Sex; Bottom!Bucky; Mean Top Steve Rogers; Dom/Sub Undertones]

“You can be rougher,” Bucky says. “If you want.”

They’re about four minutes post orgasm and Steve is still trying to figure out where his legs are. “Muh?”

🖤 a maniac's new love song (punish you for pleasure and pleasure you with pain) by @voxofthevoid - [Explicit; 15k words]

[Canon Divergence; Established Relationship; Dimension Travel; Threesome; Selfcest; BDSM; Dom/Sub; Mean Dom Steve; Humiliation; Cock Cages; Dirty Talk; Face Slapping; Voyeurism; Sharing; Under-Negotiated Kink; Prayer Circle for Bucky's Asshole; Possessive Sex; Marathon Sex]

Bucky doesn’t plan any of it. But he’s kind of an impulsive guy, and when he sees an opportunity waving its nice, strong arms at him, he leaps into them.

The door to the guest room is open when Bucky passes by on the way to the laundry room. His sideways glance is an absent, instinctual thing, right up to the point he sees James’s half-naked body and stops in his tracks.

Bucky knows he’s hot, alright? Sure, there were all those years when he didn’t—couldn’t—give a fuck about attractiveness and attraction because he was a squid-puppet, but vanity was quick to come back once he stopped being a brainwashed piece of ass in bondage leather. Steve helped, mostly because he kept looking at Bucky like he wanted to eat him alive.

Point is, he knows he’s hot, but it’s one thing to whistle at his own reflection and another to look at his alternate self from another universe and think, “Mm, I’d ride that.”

-

Bucky seduces himself. Steve has a thing or two to say about that.

🐾Claw My Way to Your Heart by wearing_tearing - [Teen; 6,5k words]

[Modern AU; Veterinarian Steve; War Veteran Bucky; Kittens; Fluff; Getting Together; Happy Ending]

“You didn’t name your pet?” Dr. Rogers raises an eyebrow at him, obviously amused.

“She’s not my pet,” Bucky argues, and the look Dr. Rogers gives him makes it clear he knows Bucky is lying.

🧸unlikely allies by plincess_cho - [Gen; 3,3k words]

[Canon Divergence; Established Relationship; Alpine; Steve Rogers Needs a Hug; Fluff and Angst; Hurt/Comfort]

Bucky goes deep undercover, leaving Steve and Alpine to cope with his absence.

🌞Good Gracious by zetsubonna - [Explicit; 1,9k words]

[Canon Divergence; Established Relationship; PWP; Hot Weather; Bottom!Steve; Anal Fingering; Anal Sex; Rimming; Dirty Talk; Rough Oral Sex]

Fic request: Bucky/Steve lazy summer day. It's too hot and they are sweating and they are dirty but they can't stop touching each other and it is filthy and wonderful.

🥞 love is like (a heat wave) by obsessivereader - [Explicit; 4k words]

[Canon Divergence; Friends to Lovers; A/B/O; Alpha!Steve x Omega!Bucky; Mutual Pining; Getting Together; Forced Heat; Explicit Sexual Content; Bottom!Bucky; Knotting; Happy Ending]

“What happened?” Steve asks.

“Fuck if I know. They sprayed me with something. Made my heat came on just like that.” Bucky snaps his fingers. “Then Rumlow walked in already in rut.” His grin is savage. “I guess they thought I’d be too out of my head to say no.”

“You said no?” Steve guesses. He’s not ashamed to admit that his knees are more than a little weak with relief that Hydra’s plan failed.

“With a punch to the dick.”

Steve laughs and nuzzles Bucky’s temple, drawn in by his scent. “No wonder he couldn’t stand straight.”

“Not a good day for Rumlow. I broke his dick, you broke his face.”

-

Bucky's gone into a forced heat and needs Steve to knot him. Steve's been secretly in love with Bucky since they were kids. That's it. That's the fic.

🏅Sacked by @maddiewritesstucky - [Explicit; 1,2k words]

[Modern AU; College AU; PWP; Quarterback Steve; Locker Room Sex; Shower Sex; Semi-Public Sex; Rough Sex; Bottom!Steve; Dom/Sub Undertones; Slapping; Biting; Humiliation; Taunting; Dirty Talk]

It’s mortifying, the way Steve’s desperate whimpers and bone-deep groans are pinballing off the tile with such force, they can’t not be spilling out into the gym. It doesn’t matter that the rest of the team filtered out a half hour ago and there’s no one around to hear it; Bucky is knocking loose sounds from behind Steve’s clenched teeth that he’s sure must be echoing all the way across campus.

It’s fucking reckless, and Steve’s burning pure kerosene in his veins for it.

☄️pretty baby you have me (so weak) by @theycallmeinevitable - [Explicit; 10,6k words]

[Canon Divergence; Established Relationship; Angst With a Happy Ending; Injuries; Kink Discovery; Daddy Kink; Dom/Sub; Rimming; Anal Sex; Bottom!Bucky; Pet Names; Praise Kink; Gentle Sex; Crying; Dacryphilia]

Daddy….

Steve sighs deep and slow as the word filters through the fog of his sleep.

Daddy, please….

He blinks his eyes, brow furrowing as his vision adjusts to the dark of the bedroom in the small hours of the morning. The clock says four.

There’s the loveliest huff of a moan beside him, and he rolls to his side to find Bucky deep in sleep. His red lips are parted as he dreams, lashes fluttering so prettily as his metal hand fists in Steve’s pillow.

He’s making sweet wounded noises that sound all too familiar, and Steve cracks a wry smile when he imagines what kinds of dreams Bucky might be having. He’s about ready to wake him up to love on him when Bucky speaks again.

“Daddy,” he breathes.

Steve’s heart stops. The smile slides off his face as his eyes go wide. What?

[elocinnicole]

Butterflies – Part Three

Pairing: Collin Hoskins x Black!Reader

Rating: M for Language and Death

Tagging: @ohsoverykeri

Part One Part Two Part Three

You spent most of the day in your room not wanting to be around Collin. This isn’t the first time you and Collin got into a fight. The last time you could recall, was when he first went to jail and he was complaining about his mom not coming to see him.

A Year Ago

You played with your fingers waiting to see Collin, he’s been locked up for almost a month and the people who came to see him regularly were Miles and yourself. Of course, Val didn’t come but the past couple of times you came to see Collin you would ask his Mom to come along. At first, she would agree but then when it came to the day of she would cancel.

“You got one hour.” You heard the gruff voice of the CO. Collin was escorted to your table, you offered him a small smile which he returned, having been his friend for almost twenty years you knew something was troubling him.

“How you been, Y/N?” Collin pulled you in for a hug, you smiled into the embrace, Even though you saw him last week, it was hard visiting your friend in prison.

“I’ve been good, Collin.”

“That’s enough!” A booming voice barked, Collin rolled eyes and the two of you pulled away. Collin saw the bags of chips on the table and his eyes lit up

“You got some for little old me?” He teased

“Shut up, I only did it because your Mom asked me to.”

“You talked to my Mom?” He asked, you looked at him with sad eyes. The last time you came to visit him, Ms. Nancy had told Collin that she would come to visit with you

“Yeah, uh I know she said she was gonna come with me today, but she wasn’t feeling good this morning…” Collin slowly nodded his head

“Collin—”

“Y/N, I don’t know how she can’t come and see me. I’m her son, Y/N! I’ve been in here for a month and she still hasn’t come to see me. Don’t she miss me?” Collin asked his voice growing loud

“Of course she does, she said she misses you all the time.

“Oh yeah?”

“She said it’s too hard for her.”

“It’s too hard for her?!”

“Hey! Keep it down Hoskins!”

“How do you think I feel? I’m the one that’s locked up!” Collin asked in a loud whisper

“Yeah, over some dumb shit.”

“Oh really? So you been talkin’ to Val?”

“Collin, don’t go there!” You were hoping that this would be a good visit but as time went on you were getting increasingly irritated with your friend.

“How do you think I feel when my Mom won’t come to see me?”

“How do you think she feels? Who do you think called her when you got your ass arrested? Did you know she put a second mortgage on the house to try and bail you out? When I told her that you got arrested the first thing she asked me was did they shoot you? Collin every time I see her or call her on the phone, she cries, the entire time, for you. So, before you get mad think about why she may not want to see her son in handcuffs.”

“Alright, visiting time’s over.” Collin’s CO said and before you knew it they were escorting Collin away from you…again.

You were finishing up a wig for a client when your phone ringed and you saw a text message from Trevon,

You went back to your wig when another text came through, this time from Janelle

The sound of your door creaking open made you look up, you saw Collin slowly entering your room holding a plate of nachos. You tried hard not to smile, nachos were your favorite food to eat. You and Colin would eat them all the time when you were in high school. “Figured you were hungry,” Collin said sitting on the edge of your bed.

“I am, thanks.” You said grabbing the plate of nachos and placing them on your nightstand and joining Collin on your bed. As much as you wanted to discuss your argument from earlier there was an even bigger elephant in the room.

“We need to talk, Collin,” You started

“I’m sorry for not asking about Val, that shit’s foul and it’s your place—”

“I don’t wanna talk about that.” Collin frowned in confusion

“We got gotta talk about the other night, because you can’t be getting mad at me when I go out on a date but I have to ‘understand’ your booty calls with Val.”

“They not booty calls,”

“Oh so what are they?”

“I’m trying to work things out with Val trying to see if we have something,” you rolled your eyes and sighed heavily

“Why do you act like you owe her something?”

“Because I do!”

“Collin, when was the last time you heard from Val other than her wanting some dick?” Collin turned his face away

“Exactly!”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You bringing all types of niggas in here!”

“First of all, no the fuck I don’t, two, it’s my house. If I wanna bring a nigga all up and through my house I can do that. Besides, it’s not niggas, I’m actually talking to someone and he’s been here once, try again.”

“I’m doing the same thing!”

“No, you’re not, you getting your dick wet just because some bitch says ‘jump’.”

“Don’t be like that Y/N, we didn’t really end things. I just want to see if there’s anything still there.”

“How many times, does Val have to tell you she don’t wanna be with you? Did she come visit you, put money on your books, did she even call your ass?”

“You don’t gotta give me a history lesson, I know all that shit,”

“Did you know she was gonna let your ass rot in that jail cell? She didn’t even want to attempt bail you out.”

“Y/N—”

“Collin, she’s not good for you. I just don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“What makes you think she not good for me?” You were done talking in circles with Collin, at this point, all you wanted to do was be alone.

“You know what Collin, Imma drop it because you gonna do whatever the fuck—-”

“Nah, air out, tell me why you think Val’s not good for me,”

“I’m not about to do this with you, Collin.”

“Y/N, as my friend, shit, one of my best friends, you gotta air out,”

“Janelle sent me a text—” Your phone ringing interrupted you, you almost ignored it but you saw that it was your Mom calling.

“We’re not done with this conversation,” You said before answering your phone.

“Hey, Mom—wait, wait, slow down. What’s going on?” Collin saw your face drop and instantly grew worried

“Okay, okay I’m on my way.” You ended the call, still trying to process the conversation you just had.

“What’s going on?”

“Um, I gotta get to the hospital, my dad just had a heart attack.”

You stared out the window while Collin drove the two of you to your parents house. By the time you got the hospital your mom told you that your dad was gone. Various memories of you and your Dad flashed through your mind. From learning how to ride a bike to when you graduated from cosmetology school and how your Dad treated it like it was a college graduation. That was your Dad though, he went above and beyond for every event for you and you brother no matter how small it was. Being the oldest, you were always a Daddy’s girl. Life without your Dad never really ran across your mind, of course you knew that he wouldn’t be here forever but you didn’t think that time would be now.

You laid on the twin size bed in your old teenage room, staring at the ceiling your eyes focused on the Nelly poster. If you looked at anything else in your room you would’ve broke. You’ve been doing a great job, so far, at managing your emotions, you didn’t have time to fall apart. You have to be there for your Mom, your brother, and your nephews. The bed sunk letting you know that Collin had got in the bed with you. You insisted that he sleep in your brother’s room. Even though it was still the same size bed in his room as well, you know that he would have more space rather than sharing with you. Collin could sense you were barely hanging on, he turned his body toward you, waiting for you to look at him.

“Y/N,” You ignored him, “Y/N, look at me.”

“Collin, I’m fine. We have to get some rest, we gotta get my brother and his kids from the airport early tomorrow.”

“Y/N, can you look at me? Please,”

“Collin, I’m fine. Goodnight.” You turned off the lamp and rolled to your side, hoping Collin would drop it.

The next day Collin, tried to get you to slow down but if you sensed he was trying to talk to you about your Dad you would change the subject or busy yourself with something else. Your mom made a Instagram post so you were getting calls and text messages all day, it was becoming over whelming. Luckily for you, Collin had to work that evening so you didn’t have to deal with him following your every move making sure you were okay. Your brother, Cameron, and you were now attempting to draft your Dad’s obituary.

“I don’t know why we can’t put that in there.” Cameron mumbled under his breath.

“Because, it’s not important! He only spent one semester there,”

“And? That’s where he met Mom!”

“Cam, we only have one page for this obituary, it’s not an autobiography. We can say when they met and got married, period!”

“So you just gonna cut out an important part of Dad’s life?”

“Cam, I’m not—you know what, I can’t do this. Ever since I picked you up from the airport, you’ve been fighting me with every decision. I’m going back to my place,” You huffed quickly getting your bags together.

“So you just gonna leave?”

“Yes, the hell I am.” You left your childhood home, slamming the door shut, once you were halfway down the block you realized that, you didn’t have your car. You let Collin drive it to work. The walk to your place wasn’t long but it was late, your pride hindered you from walking back to your Mom’s and facing your brother again,

“Damnit,” You pulled out your phone and called the first person you could think of. “Hey, can you give me a ride?”

“Thanks, Miles, for picking me up. I know you and Ash are busy with Shauna—”

“You fam, it’s no problem and I’m sorry about your Dad, he was like the only guy I looked up to.”

“Thanks, Miles. You remember that time he caught you skipping school?” Miles chuckled at the memory

“Yeah, I ain’t know he was following me and shit. He hopped out the car like he the muh fuckin police. Then he had my ass running back home while he drove behind me.” You laughed while Miles reminisced until he got a text from Ashely.

“Miles, go home before Ashley beats your ass.”

“Well, shit I’m waitin’ on your ass to get out my car.” You jokingly shoved your friend before getting out

“Bye, Miles!”

“Ay, when you gonna come braid my hair like Ash’s?”

“Bye, Miles!” You shook your head as Miles sped off. Once you got inside you realized that you hadn’t eaten all day. You honestly didn’t feel like cooking so decided to order something from UberEats. Nothing looked appetizing to you so you decided against it. Sitting on your sofa, glass of wine in hand, you finally had time to yourself, no one asking how you were feeling, no one calling to offer condolences, family members and friends you haven’t heard from in years were reaching out, it was too much. Finally having a moment to yourself, you felt the tears coming

“Y/N?” Collin called out, you quickly wiped your tears, not wanting him to see you cry.

“In the living room.” You called out, Collin walked with takeout boxes in hand.

“Figured you’d be hungry,” you gave him a small smile in return.

“Thanks, Collin, but I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat something—“

“I told you I’m fine, I’ve been telling everyone I’m fine all day! Damn!” You snapped

“Aight, I was just checking on you!”

“I don’t neeed anyone to check on me, I only want one person to check on me and he’s not here!” For the first time today, you finally cried. Collin sat eside you and pulled you close to him

“No amount of food, texts, or phone calls can bring him back.” You cried into Collin’s chest as he held you. You pulled away and Collin cradled your face in his hands, you leaned into the embrace. He gently grabbed your chin and before you knew it, you were kissing Collin. You were the first to pull away and Collin frowned

“What about you and Val—”

“Fuck Val,” Collin said pulling you in for another kiss.

Please let me know, if you would like to be tagged in this series.

[teentitanimals]

Batfam as Smosh Quotes

Bruce: “How much money in the world is it does it cost?”

Selina: “Look, you guys did murder, I did thievery.”

Alfred: “Bat-Man, did you take her to therapy this week, or did you forget again?”

Dick: “DADDY NEEDS HIS JUICE!”

Jason: “Can I be alive again?”

Tim: “Does the defense rest with their opening statement?” “I never sleep.” “I don’t- I haven’t slept.”

Damian: “We traded some laughs, uh, I gave him a lung. He ate it in front of me- it was kind of terrifying, but I feel like deep down, he’s actually kind of a good guy.”

Cassandra: “I’m a firm believer in no tie-breakers, so welcome to the punishment, bitches.”

Duke: “Sometimes, I like to hug myself. It feels god because no one else does.”

Barbara: “Are we sure we don’t want this pinecone as the captain?”

Stephanie: “You’re my favorite pizza place!”

Kate: “Tis I, the lesbian of the table.”

Carrie: “...wear shoes, that’s okay! Because you’re meeting my mom. My mom, doesn’t care! Life’s a party, you’re a boy!”

Claire: “What, are you afraid of glass now?”

Luke: “My pants are about to break, and I don’t want my pants to break.”

Harper: “Yo, let me introduce myself! Muh- my name is Boneless-... Did you know, that that’s my favorite blood?”

Cullen: “It’s not gay- he can’t see.”

Helena: “Eat more s’mores, you bastards.”

Alina: “I’m gonna be the hero this game needs- fighting with only a stick.”

Mar’i: “In the state of California, at the age of 21, you can get drunk. At the age of 18, you can get stoned, or if you’re like me, and at the age of 1, you can just be stupid.”

Terry: “Sir, I want to deep fry your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

Matt: “I don’t listen to myself. Do you listen to me?”

Jarro: “This is Johnny McChair-Boy. He’s from a very weird, obscure Nintendo game.”

[twiststreet]

I saw the Suicide Squad trailer.  I like the Suicide Squad comics (Ostrander-Yale only), but I have no patience for James Gunn.  And I didn’t like it cause I don’t like his stuff and I was sitting here thinking about... 

I think the thing I hate about James Gunn’s comedy is it’s all Super Bowl comedy.  You know how when you watch the Super Bowl, the commercials are either, you know, “America’s going to come back from it’s doldrums and fucking kill you and fuck your dead body Ford Trucks Drive a Ford truck you pussy America has dirt in it that we photographed look at this dirt under our fingernails that’s not going to hold us down uh uh got to keep on moving” rah-rah patriotism, with the very serious monologues, John Hamm or Matthew McConnaughey doing Sarah Jessica Parker Sex in the City monologues except about America... 

OR... It’s “comedy.”  But it’s not really funny comedy...?  It’s Super Bowl commercial comedy...?   

Like, lately, during the Super Bowl, it’ll be like, you’re watching Kevin James running down a street, and he’s all wheezing, because he needs to eat some doritos, he hasn’t eaten enough doritos, goddamn Kevin James you fucking dipshit who even taught you fitness, but then Kevin James will stop and start panting outside an apartment building and ... OH SHIT, Jada 👏 Pinkett 👏 Smith 👏 just leans out of the window and says “Fuck you Kevin James you ain’t shit and your mom ain’t shit and your dick looks like a broken pencil and I wish I had a pencil sharpener I’d sharpen both ends of that dick EAT DORITOS you fucks” and then the music goes wazzoo wazzooo wazzooo... cause you THOUGHT you were watching a commercial about Kevin James YOU DUMMY but actually you’re watching a commercial with TWO celebrities in it instead, Doritos burned a whole bunch of money HELL YEAH, it’s the muh-fucking Super Bowl!!!

That’s how James Gunn is “funny” to me.  Where I just look at it and think “This is just a cretinous corporate product where the words have been put into the shape of comedy but that serves none of the functions of actual comedy, that means nothing except to sell people something that looks like food and tastes like food but very much is NOT food”  ... but then having to just imagine the sort of slack-jawed yokels that are like “aaaaah, this fucking guy GETS IT.  He knows where I live.”  I mean, it’s nerds, and I’ve read a million comics-- your sci-fi / fantasy has always had pretty lousy comedy.  (One time Marvel did a “comedy What If” special and the “jokes” were like “what if Doctor Octopus fought Captain America instead of Spiderman?” That was it.  That was the entire joke.  I think it won an Eisner for Special Excellence in Comedy that year or something...).  Sci-fi/fantasy is about hiding from the world, and comedy is about being like “haha look at the world”-- that’s not a happy marriage-- that’s my theory, but... 

Why is that comedy there in the Superbowl ads?  My guess: you think about the history of American comedy-- it’s a bunch of Vaudevillians and drop-outs and stoners and long-hairs at first, sure, who are all hipper than the room saying “look at these schnooks we’re surrounded by”.  But then over time, maybe everyone comes to thinks they’re hip and certainly not one of the schnooks cause that’s how audiences work.  Show an audience a movie about an underdog and they’ll think they’re underdogs-- most of them are the reason why the dog’s under.  Show them a Bill Murray movie and they’ll think they’re Bill Murray-- they’re the cop who listens to Walter Peck and shuts off the grid.  Throw a rock at a right-wing person (please!) and they all think they’re fans of edgy comedy and free speech, even though you could make any of them red-faced angry and ready to shoot up a mall with like 5 fairly innocuous opinions.  Advertising just flows downhill from there. It’s just how corporations understand how to sell things to the schnooks now.

But I don’t know.  I’m just sad a lot lately haha so there’s that!  Anyways, I’ve lost track of my point.  I saw a movie trailer by a director I hate which I watched cause I wanted to see how they did the bad guy after I saw people post about the bad guy.  Wheee... Anyways, lunch break over...

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THOR

it was a dark and stormy night when padme, an old man, and a beautiful nerd named darcy a find bright light in the sky with thunder and s giant tornado in it. AND CHRIS HEMSWORTH HOLY SHIT

STORYTELLING WITH ODIN ABOUT A FIGHT WITH ICE CREAM TROLLS. frosty the snow man is angry about it

GLOWY CUBE

agard. sounds like ass guard. baby thor and loki are adorable. story telling ended up being fairytail for children. WINGED HELMET

LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI

ah yes. the hammer named MILJinoNOR made in the heart of a star. ohshit walls got frosty. AMBUSH

“i swear, i swear, i sWEAR!” SHUSH IT AND GET TO FIGHTING. YALL GOT FROSTY BOYS INVADING ASS GUARD- oh fuck eye beam giant is OP.

thor is bloodthirsty, thats how you get the plot of the movie when you get turned mortal :/

loki is lovely i love him. he will never ever ever do anything wrong- oh hes starting drama between thor and frosty boys

WHOMST THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE??

“and who proved wrong that a young maiden could be one of the fiercesr warriors.” “i did” “true, but i supported you, sif.” JSHSKHSKSJSKSJSJ

HORSES ON THE GLITTER GLASS BRIDGE. this is all beautiful wtf i love asgard. HEIMDALL- thor stfu dont shut loki down ya fucker. yall are bullying loki and then get shocked he turns evil?

MAGIC SWORD IS THE KEY TO ALL THE REALMS. HAHA ROUND THINGY GO SPINNY SPINNY. heimdall tells em the bridge to frosty realm might fuck em over and leave em to die.

“we shouldnt be here.” MAYBE BRING THAT UP AT THE PLANNING BIT, NOT THE ‘WE’RE HERE LETS GO EXPLORE’ BIT. DEEP VOICE IS SMEXY AS FUCK

“You’re nothing but a boy. who came to prove hinself a man.”

“know your place. brother.” STOP BEING MEAN TO LOKI, THOR :(

HAMMER GO B O N K ON FROSTY BOYS SKSNSKSKSK

LOKIS MAGIC IS AMAZING YOU’RE DOING GREAT BBY- laughing during a sword fight because fuck every other emotion righ- OHSHIT NVM HE GOT IMPALED ON A SPIKE OF ICE

GIANT SNOW BEAST GO BRRRR. THUNDER ON THESE FROST COVERED ASSES- whY is he still laughing he got a spike through his chest what the hell dude you good?

HOLYSHIT THOR JUST CHUCKED MILNNOR THROUGH THE BEASTS FUCKING HEAD LIKE A KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER

ODIN TO SAVE THE DAY AND GET HIS CHILDS ASS OUT OF TROUBLE. thor started a fucking war because of this fightboner jesus christ this child. SHOUTING MATCHES

daddys angry with his child- thor is unworthy this, unworthy that. AND BANISHED TO EARTH LIKE A FUCKING LOSER SKSHSKSJSJ

and back to padme’s modern time wE GO

HA HE GOT MERKED BY A TAZER

DARCY YOU ADORABLE CHILD

“How dArE YOu aTtAcK tHE SoN oF oDIN😡😡😡” hes like an angry puppy

body in a photo?? pog info??? WHY HAS HE BEEN HIT BY A CAR TWICE ALREADY

STAN LEE

COULSON

THOR IS FUCKING RIPPED. meanwhile is ass guard. loki snitched for a good reason. but nOoOoO thors, friends, blame loki.WHY ARE THEY BLAMING LOKI FOR BRING IN THE FROSTY BOYS- oh shit he can controll the snow cube. backstory for loki? mayhaps?- HOLYSHIT HES A SMURF

“the casket wasnt the only thing you took from jotunheim that day, was it?” HES ONTO YOU ODIN. odin literally kidnapped- oh no nvm loki as a baby was left for dead. I WANNA HUG LOKI SO BAD HES IN EMOTINAL DISSTRESS :(

“because i-i-i’m the monster, parents tell their children about at night?” LOKI BABY EVERYTHINGS GONNA BE OKAY

holyshit loki’s breakdown killed odin wtf. my man collasped onto the staircase

“this drink. i like it.” “i know its gre-“ “ANOTHER! *SHATTERING GLASS*”

“myeu muh? whats a myeu muh?” DARCY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SKSHSKHSKS

man coulson thats a dick move to snatch up all of padmes shit- AND DARCYS IPOD???

loki do be looking snazzy on the throne👀 good for him. look at these fucker friends of thor tryna make him inbanish thor :/

BOOKS- on norse myth.? yeah norse myth

padme is sus of thor, and almost got em into a car crash. “god i hope you’re not crazy.” oh wait till you aee what happens

ODINS TAKING A NAP FOR THOUSNDS OF YEARS OR SUMSHIT

frigga is tryna convice loki they meant well. kinda hard too ngl. damn shield has beefed up security around this fucking hammer

oh shit electrical thunder is fucking with the shield tech once thor showed up. RAIN AND MAGIC HUMMING- thor is kicking shield’s ass- COULSON- who the fuck chooses a bow and arrow to shoot a target when they had sniper rifle- barton- HAWKEYE NVM BADASS ARROW GUY IS AMAZING

oh shit thor found miljjnor. mudfight but make it less smexy. epic momentt pogg.. its totally gonna fail him so fucking bad its gonna be funny

told you so.

now hes yelling at the sky like an insane person

AND got arrested :I

poor heimdall having to watch this all like a sad sitcom. OLDMAN STFU

“look its myeu-muh!” darcy needs to be protected at ALL COST. ohmygod they think thor is a solider from enemy lines aIshsksjskks

LOKIII- oh shit hes telling thor everything went wrong bc him and that a truce was- NVM LOKI IS TRYING THE HAMMER. YOU GOT IT LOKI

old man go save thors stupid ass. redeem yourself. bar talk is somehow wholesome. oh shit thors gotta dip outta town bc oldman said so. he didint listen to odin and ended up starting a war- OH CRAP LOKI DID LET THE FROSTY BOYS INTO ASGARD.

heimdall knows loki is causing trouble. good for loki. HA RHE OLDMAN GOT FUCKING WASTED BY THE BOOZE LIKE A COWARD.

padme is so awkward around thor. shes in looovvveee. awh thor snatched up her genius book from shield. YIGHDRISLE is such an amazing name for a tree filled with planets and worlds

DUDE DONT SHAME THE MAN FOR STRESS EATING

LOKI KNOWS HEIMDALL SNITCHED AND LET FUCKER FRIENDS THROUGH. HOLYSHIT THEY FOUND THOR SLJSOSJSKSKS

thor knows loki lied- heimdall knows loki let in the frosty boys, and is currently frozen soild by that blue cube thingy. AND NOW THE OP METAL LAZERBEAM BASTARD IS ON EARTH

OH GOD A SPEAR THROUGH THE THROAT MUST HURT LIKE A MF- SIF DONT DIE

LAZERBEAM STOP BLOWING UP BUILDINGS

dude things were getting blown up left and right but suddenly thor’s plot armor engaged and a car just flips over him and instead of going boom. standoff between lazerface and thor- whomst shall win? find out next week on: HOLYSHIT THE NORSE GODS EXIST

loki just watched thor try to give up his life and now lazerface is leav- FUCK NVM IT BITCH SLAPPED THOR SKSHSJSJSJSKKSKSJ. oH now it leaves

hammer go brrr soon? HAMMER GO BRRRRRR

PADME SAVE YOURSELF THOR JUST GOT POWERED THE FUCK UP

“oh my god” YOU JUST SAW A METAL MECH SHOOT A LAZER OUT ITS FACE AND FOUR PEOPLE IN VIKING ARMOR FIGHT. ARE YOU STILL SHOCKED???

LAZERFACE GO BOOM. THORS BACK BABYY

oh shit the frosty boys are on asgard- HEIMDALL NEEDS TO UNFREEZE AND WORK ITS MAGIC LIKE NOW

oh god the animation for some dead frosty boys got so noticable that was horrible.

TIME TO GO KICK LOKI’S ASS SKSKSJS- OHFUCK FRIGGA NOO. OHSHIT LOKI JUST MURDERED LAUGHY THE FROST KING.

lokis “ohshit thors back” face is amazing

loki hun what the fuck are you doing- stop tryna destory shit like a hero.

“I NEVER WANTED THE THRONE. I WANTED TO BE YOUR EQUAL!” my heart is torn :((

brothers fighting while a energy tree builds around him? sure why not. ohfuck loki got his ass handed to him- THOR WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HAMMER ON HIM LIKE THAT SKSHSKSJSJSK

THOR WOKE ODIN UP BY VREAKING THE FUCKING RAINBOW BRIDGE

ODINS AWAKE AND SAVE EM AGAIN

IM CRYING LOKI JUST WANTED TO MAKE ODIN PROUD AND HE SHUT EM DOWN LIKE THAT. ODIN YOU FUCKING SUCK

awh this is making me sad i dont like this sad ending this sucks so much. loki deserved better then to die knowing odin hated him :(

heimdall is out of a job now that the bifrost is broken haha loser.

NEXT MOVIE: THE AVENGERS

ignore the misspells and the bad grammar its almost two AM by the time i finished watching and writing this up

[zodiacrant]

More about me

Tagged by @miley19922311

1. Post pic/ give short description of your appearance:

This is me in three different pictures, from different times. Clearly an Aquarius rising since I got the ULTIMATE bitch face. I love to change up my style, my hair and even friends 👀. This feels like a dating profile so if you’re interested, then keep it to yourself ❤️.

2. Favorite mythical creatures: I love unicorns, fairies, elves, dragons and mermaids.

3. Popular series you don’t like: I don’t like 13 reasons why, Stranger things and Riverdale. I can feel the earth quaking right now.

4. An interesting/weird talent: I can move my tongue in many ways, directions and make moves with it, as well as moving each part of my tongue separately. I also can put my whole fist in my mouth.

5. Favorite animal: I can’t chose one so, peacocks, cats, dogs, birds, bears and butterflies and bees if they count.

6. Top five fiction characters: Not only because they’re hot, but also they remind me of myself alot:

1. Daphnie from Scooby Doo

2. Blossom from Powerpuff girls

3. Princess bubblegum from Adventure time

4. Gumball from the amazing world of Gumball

5. Clover from totally spice

(You can tell that I was gay)

7. Extrovert or Introvert: I am more of an Extroverted Introvert, if that makes sense, but Introverts all day everyday.

8. One thing you want right now: MUH👏NEE👏.Money.

9. Where are you from and wher you wish you’re from: I am from Bahrain, which ethnically means I am Arabic. I am proud of being Arabic, and I won’t let westrn media white wash my olive skin, strong nose, thick brows, wavy thick hair and my name. And that’s on

10. Favorite flavor of ice cream: Chocolate or Rocky road

11. A tumblr trend you hate: where to start, more of phenomenas but here they go. Nazis, pedophiles, exosexuals, radicals and people calling themselves “guru”z

12. One thing you’ll never do in your lifetime: Eat a vagina or suck a homless man dick. But you know yolo or whatever.

13. Biggest pet peeves: chewing with mouth open, making sounds with your mouth, standing too close, putting your arms on the table, putting your shoes or your nasty sock on the chair or the table, and littering.

14. Favorite and least favorite colors: My fav is purple, alot of people associated me with the color and I feel connected to it.

My least favorite is brown, cause who the fuck likes brown. I can name only one brown thing that I like, chocolate.

15. Favorite masc and femme names: For masc I like Abrahamic names like Jacob, Adam, Noah and what not.

For femme I like names that end with an A, Victoria, Maya, Aya, Selena.

16. Series you think has the worst fandom: Probaby Rupaul drag race. If you know then you know.

17. A talent you wish you had: Singing and dancing. I know how to dance but not actually DANCE.

18. Your top favorite tumblrs:

@bubble-snowflakes

@astrroloaries

@playsthetics

I don’t have anymore

19. Video games series you’ll never abandon: I have so many but my tops are Fallout, Life is strange, The walking dead, The sims and GTA

20. Things you’re highly against: alot of things but they all have two things in common hate and oppression.

I tag

@madbamba

@quirkslap

@astrroloaries

And whoever that wants to do it 💕

[kirbyforever]

Is this a music store?

Joe meets Patrick and he’s like, “Yo! i know about music.” and Patrick’s like, “Yo! I know more about music\~!” “THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!111 ...Do you wanna start a band?” and Patrick’s like, “Yeah, that’s cool” and then he’s like, “Yo! this is a bookstore, it’s not a music store!” And then they met at Patrick’s house. so, Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin’ reason. and Pete’s there for some reason. they start playing music together and they’re like, “oh, let’s play some fucking covers from some other bands!” there was like Green Day, and fucking Misfits, and fuckin Ramones. Pete said to Joe, “Yo! We gotta change this shit up!” — HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — \*sips beer\* — “Yo, we played all these bands, let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy” and so Pete and Patrick were like, “Yo, that’s dope. but we need a fucking drummer!” because Patrick’s playing drums and he’s a singer! Patrick’s like, “Yo! I got a soul voice!” and they’re like, “wait! how do you have a soul voice?” and he’s like, “Yo, watch this – YEAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAEEEEEEEHEEEEEYEEEEHEEEEHHH” and they’re like, “ Oh my God, that sounds like soul!” so they put it in a song, it was like, “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHTTTTTTT” — THHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — and then they’re like, “Yo, that’s fuckin perfect. this is fall out boy” — \*drinks beer\* —

And they made records like ‘Evening out with your ex-girlfriend’ Evening out with your ex-girlfriend everybody loves it — “It’s called evening out with your girlfriend” — With your ex-girlfriend? It’s called evening out with your ex-girlfriend. It’s called eating out your girlfriend and it’s real and it doesn’t matter.

And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like, “yooo, what the fuuuuuck!!?? YO THIS IS GONNA BE FUCKIN DOOOPE” so they made a record and it was called ‘Take This to Your Grave’. They made it without a drummer! and they had like three, four drummers come in; the four drummers ahead come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto — tnghhhh — the fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something. And they’re like, “Yo, we need Andy Hurley.” “Andy Hurley, Take This To Your Grave, fuckin record it.” And he did it and he killed it and he was like, “BEGEDEGEDUGUDLULULUHHHLAHLAH BSHHH” Killin the skins! Tappin the skins! Tappin the rim! Playing the shit! Killin these bitches! Wrappin it out! — THAHAHA YOU’RE GETTING A FUCKING TATTOO RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING OON!!?? —

“We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, cuz these guys know what the fuck is going on” they were like, “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is which is not fucking hard -” — tnghhh — “- we will sign you guys” he was like, “yo! we got this record that’s fuckin dope dude!” it’s called Take This To Your Grave. It’s called From Under The Cork Tree, it’s gonna be fucking huge. And then Patrick was like, “I gotta keep it real. I gotta keep it artistic. These are - These are three songs that are gonna make the album it’s called — \*burp\* — this is called Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, Twenty Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar, We’re Goin Down. And they made this record that was fuckin dope and they fucking hit on the charts like ONE, TWO, THREE! THREE, TWO, ONE! THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEEENNN! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like four million records… ten million records… FIFTEEN MILLION RECORDS!

And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record! And Patrick was like, “THAT’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD”

Pete was like, “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like, “Yeah, that’s cool man whatever I don’t give a shit” and then Andy was like, “Eh. Cool!” and Pete was like, “Makeup is fuckin great for a guy because it makes a guy look beautiful which a lot of times a guy is not beautiful and i wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful”

— SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. “I’m good so far” “Do you wanna spit one more time?” “Yeah, I do.” SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. NGHHH SHUT THE FUCK! HAHAHA OH FUCK ALRIGHT ALRIGHT —

Pete was like, “Oh my god! I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” and then I saw the dick pic and I was like, “Eh, it’s not bad! It’s not a bad dick. Let’s be real.”

We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so PISSED! they were like, “yo, fuck you guys!” They’re like, “YO PANIC! HAS THE FUCKING COVER OF ROLLING STONE!? YO FUCK THESE DUDES WE’RE GONNA FUCKING GO MILES ABOVE! WE’RE GONNA HIT EVERY FUCKING CONTINENT THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN!” but they didn’t! because they missed a second of time! Apparently, they were like, “Oh shit we got every continent!” When they didn’t actually hit it.

Dude, Pete was like, “WHAT THE FUCK!?!?” OOOOH YOU DIDN’T FUCKIN MAKE THE CONTINENT! IT’S LIKE FUCK YOU!

So From Under The Cork Tree happens we fuckin have three four years of awesomeness like people were coming on themselves cuz it’s so big.

Alright, so Fall Out Boy was like —

So Patrick was like, “Yo we’re gonna name this record From ooo - From Under The Cork Tree and from Inninity from EHEHAHA From Infinity on High.

Pete was like, "Yo, Folie A Deux means the theatric of two” — “The Madness of Two” “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” —

Fall Out Boy was like, “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning Pete was like, “Yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like “I need time for my music - OOOOUUNGHHH” and Joe’s like, “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin art dude i gotta find some fuckin muh-metal” and andy’s like, “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands :D” and they’re like, “Alright, this break’s from like three years long two years long three years long three and a half?” “we gotta fuckin come back man we gotta come back STRONG”

— YOU TOOK MY BEER AWAY WHAT THE FUCK “you poured it all over yourself” —

“We gotta make this shit legit, it’s gonna be fuckin dope it’s gonna go fuckin sky high! we’re gonna make a fuckin record that sails the skies!” “skieees” “we’re gonna call this record: Save Rock and Roll”

So they made Alone Together, Light Em Up, Alone Together, The Phoenix. Everyone was like, “What the fuuuck?? you were going to the sky you fucking recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!” — “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ON MY SHIRT DID I PEE ON MYSELF?” “You poured beer all over yourself” “oh god” —

Pete was like, “Yo, we’re gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots” TAHAHA \*burp. spit.\*

And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. and that’s just how the fuckin story goes.

[breezeinmonochromenight]

so i liked higgs from the moment he showed up?? i was like heart eyes mf !! you had a bad life patpatpat and your weird obssession with sam is kinda creepy but hey i getchu ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ...but then... he had to do THAT thing... and now in my humble opinion he can eat an entire bag of dicks and hope he chokes on them. no muh tragic backstory™ make me feel bad 4 u higgs (nah but for real only well written characters get reactions like those) and now i forgot where i was going with this need sleep

That’s fine? Myself and others are unrepentant villainfuckers. So. That kind of sounds like a you problem lmao.

The rest of us will be partying in the tags. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I’d also like to point out that just because you don’t like a character does not make their writing objectively bad.

[bapyess1r]

Amphetamine

WARNINGS: SMUT! , age difference, use of substance, cursing

CHAPTER 5

Sam’s POV

The last kiss from Talia left me with a tight sensation in my pants as I crossed the street to my house. As much as I would’ve loved to bend her over right then and there, I knew I couldn’t. I never had this problem with other women so why was it that this one girl could change that. Like I had some morals… She made me fall for her in only a day and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I sighed as I shuffled back into my home, not bothering to turn off the music that still played softly in the background. I sat on the couch, an extra cup of whiskey sitting before me on the coffee table. “Fuck it.” I said sitting up to grab it and drink it. Jim Beam Apple and soda… it tasted like when we kissed the first time. I groaned as the memory sent a sensation through my chest and my pants tightened once more. I grabbed a cigarette and lit it in hopes to distract myself from the thoughts and the pressure building in me. I was going to let it be but the more I left it alone, the more it started to bother me. I groaned again and let my cigarette hang from my lips. “Okay, okay! Fuck…” I said to myself. I leaned back into my couch and undid my jeans, lifting my hips up to remove them. As I pulled on my boxers, my dick damn near sprung out on its own. I hissed as the fabric graced the tip on its way down. I took a long look at it standing bright pink, painful, and proud. “Just couldn’t control yourself could you….” I lazily grabbed hold of it and began moving my hand up and down. I threw my head back in an attempt to relax, thinking of Talia and how she looked singing tonight. Her curvy body swaying to the music, the sound and tone of her voice, the light in her smile, the swing of her hips as she walked… I let out a shameless moan as smoke exited my nostrils. The ash was falling onto my chest but I didn’t care. I became more and more sensitive as I remembered the feel of her lips on mine, her body wrapped in my arms, her hands running up my chest, tugging on my shirt in a needy fashion, and then I began thinking of all the things I wished I could’ve done to her. My hips bucked from the sensation and I picked up the pace. I stomped my foot with a hard grunt the closer I brought myself to climax. I ran my fingers through my hair with my free hand and let it rest on the back of the couch as I went. My knee was bouncing impatiently as that burning feeling in the pit of my stomach began to swell. My skin was beginning to heat up. “God damn…” I whispered as my thoughts drifted to bending her over the counter, ramming into her until she cried out. With a low growl, I picked up the pace and I twitched in my hands. “Woah!” I shouted as I released into the air, making an absolute mess of myself. “Fuck…” I huffed, relaxed now that I’d relieved myself. Without thinking, I shed myself of my shirt, and cleaned up my surroundings.

I was fine for now but I wasn’t sure how much longer I could last around Talia without scooping her into my arms and taking her to my bed. But for now, I had to settle for flirting and some cheeky kisses. ‘Not until she’s ready.’ I thought, finishing the last of the whisky soda. I stood up to turn off the music and lights in the house, shuffling to my room as I kicked off my boots. I fell flat onto the large plush bed and sighed, drifting off to sleep.

Talia’s POV

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, my mouth tasting like isopropyl. My best friend wrapped around my arm like I was gonna go somewhere. ‘I guess she really did miss me.’ I chuckled, trying to sit up without rocking the boat in my head. I slapped the side of Anna’s cheek lightly, telling her to get up. “Why?! What happened?!” She whined sitting up.

“I’m starving, let’s go eat…” I said.

“Can we get pollo loco? I really want some…” she asked, stretching and wiping the drool off her face.

“Yeah, yeah….” I nodded in a hushed tone, rushing to get dressed for some reason. I tried really hard to put the pieces of last night back together. After the performance, I couldn’t remember a thing. “Do you remember anything about last night?” She responded with a smile.

“Heeellll yeah I remember some things… and some thangs.” She wiggled her eyebrows and threw her hair up in a messy bun. “ I was hanging out with Marcel- that beautiful chocolate man- Louie was with Jules playin bean bag and then you and Sam went to join and play teams, theeennnnn……” she gave me a wicked grin.

“Please tell me I didn’t strip…” I whined. I knew I could get kinda crazy when I was under the influence.

“You would’ve had your tongue not been shoved down Sam’s throat.” She grabbed her face and blushed for me. That’s when I remembered…

“Shit. We did kiss… aaagghhh!” I cried falling backwards into my bed. “Do you think he hated it?”

“From the look on his face, he far from hated it, girl. You’re ok.” She said tapping my arm. “Sooo you gonna pursue Mr. Samuel Drake?” She asked in a dreamy tone. Honestly, I wasn’t sure. I thought maybe he’d want someone with their life put together. Or a bit older…

“What do you think?” I asked her.

“Honestly… I think you should. I mean he’s different from your usual type but it’s the good kind of different. And… God. It’s like he’s got something you need… I don’t know what it is but I’m sure you’ll figure it out along the way. Even though I’ve just met him and you’ve just met him, the way he looks at you… the way he treats you… And he’s certainly one of the better looking ones-”

“You tryna say I date ugly muh fuckers-”

“Um, no bitch, I’m telling you you’ve dated some ugly muh fuckers and THATS the tea.” she said in a matter of fact tone causing me to crack up. “Listen. I say go for it. It’s early days- yes- but be headstrong about it. And don’t change for him. Be unequivocally you. Because you deserve someone who loves you like that.”

“Aww fren!” I exclaimed, throwing my arms around her tightly before getting up to shower.

“Can I shower after you?” she asked, walking towards my dresser to rummage through my tee shirts. “Also can I steal a shirt?”

“Yeah girl.” I answered, closing the door.

After we showered and got dressed, we greeted my Godfamily and headed out about our day. Both Godparents were off this weekend and I didn’t wanna get in the way of core family time. Also, Anna and I had several things to do within two days' time. We threw on our shades as we walked to my blue Jeep, enjoying the morning sunshine and breeze. “Fuck I’m nauseous and I’m starving…” I groaned as it suddenly hit me.

“Wanna smoke? We can hot box the Jeep like we used to.” she said searching through her bag and pulling out a pack of rolling papers.

“Anais Long… How’d you know I had some on me?” I chuckled, speeding up our walk to the car.

“Bitch I’m not stupid! I saw you tuck it in there!” she laughed, running after me.

In a matter of minutes, we were sitting in the Jeep, staring at the sky through the sunroof as Siouxsie Sioux played softly in the background through the radio.

“What do you wanna do today?” I asked her as a flock of seagulls flew overhead.

“I really wanna go to the beach…” she answered, sitting up to ash the blunt to me.

“The beach sounds...fine.” My voice trailed off as I was distracted by Sam headed to the docks for his morning cigarette. His muscular body clad in a white tank top and gray sweatpants. A tattoo I hadn’t seen before was exposed on his left shoulder. Anna looked up with a gasp, lowering her glasses to get a better look.

“Very fine indeed...” she said sitting forward, almost choking on the smoke. “How big do you think he is?” She asked impulsively and I cackled, punching her in the arm.

“Jesus Christ, girl!” I giggled like a little school girl as I watched him take a seat and start on his first cigarette, repeatedly looking back at the gate behind him; like he was waiting for someone…

“Oh my god, is he looking for you? GIRL HE’S LOOKING FOR YOU!” she said undoing my seatbelt.

“What are you doing?!” I chuckled.

“Well you’re not just gonna sit in here and let him look like a lost puppy. You have to go out there!” she said reaching over me and opening the door as best as she could with her short arms. “Go bitch!”

“And leave you by yourself?”

“Yes bitch leave me by myself and go get your man!” She said rather enthusiastically.

I took a deep breath as that wave of nervousness crashed over me, even more so now that we’ve kissed. “Be strong bitch!” She told me and I nodded to leave.

I hopped out of the van and walked over. The gate startled me as I opened it up, pulling on my crop top nervously, I shuffled over and sat down without saying a word. “You know normal people say ‘Good morning.’” I heard his deep voice say as I fidgeted with the fringe on the hole of my baggy jeans.

“Sorry. I’m just really high.” I excused and he belted a cute little laugh.

“Wake n’ bake huh?”

“Yeah…. wanna come?” I asked, staring at him. He pouted his bottom lip and nodded.

“I don’t have any plans for the day. Why not?” He stood up suddenly offering me a hand. I took it and with a simple flex of the arm he pulled me up with ease. A bolt of attraction shot through me as I looked up at him. Most of the guys I dated couldn’t lift me up for more than ten seconds and he did it so easily. I couldn’t just sit and stare... I had to say something.

“I like your tattoo.” I said, actually able to get a good look at it. It was a hand of card with Lucky written on a banner beneath it.

“Thanks. I got it in prison.” he smirked, heading for the gate.

“Prison?!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah. Comes with some bad memories and what not.” he said trying to shrug it off. I could tell it bothered him though. Briefly, I stopped to look him in his hazel eyes.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” I said. He gave me a warm smile and stroked my cheek.

“You’re the sweetest.” he told me and I led him to the jeep where Anna was waving like a crazy person. He popped open the back door and slid in with a grin to greet Anna.

“Good morning, handsome!” she cooed, laying it on thick for me.

“Hiya, sweetheart! Hope this Florida weather is treating you right.” he said, closing the door behind him. He slouched a bit to get comfortable.

“Oh, I love it,” she replied. “We were actually just talking about hitting the beach.”

“Ah, now that’s an idea.” he said, taking a smooth hit and acknowledging the quality of the blunt. “Even better idea: I have a boat.” he said with a slight cough as he exhaled.

“Shut the fuck up- do you really?!” Anna became ten times more excited than she already was. He nodded with a big smile.

“If you want, you could make a day of it. I’ll take you to the boardwalk.” He said, winking at me.

“YES PLEASE!” Anna squealed.

“Talia? What say you?” he asked, seeking my permission. Then I had an idea myself.

“One condition… you’re coming with us.” I said with a mischievous grin, taking the blunt between my lips. He raised an intrigued thick brow before returning the smile.

“Sounds like a deal. I’ll call up Marcel. I’m sure there’s still some food and booze left over from last night.”

“You still wanna drink?” I said looking surprised. “Old man like you still tryna kick it.”

“Listen I’m only 42. I can hang, alright.” he chuckled.

“42 THE FUCK WHERE?!” Anna exclaimed, hanging over the passenger seat. “YOU LOOK 30!”

“You’re too kind, please! Keep talkin’.” He smirked as Anna took her hit.

“Well, we need to stop and get her swimsuit from the hotel.” I said, as I watched them exchange the blunt.

“Okay. That gives me a bit of time to get everything ready. Maybe grab some ice for the cooler-”

“I got it. Don’t worry about that.” Anna nodded.

“Alright then! Well, I guess I should get started. See you ladies in an hour?”

“More than enough time.” she smiled at him.

“I love how you two just planned my whole day for me.” I chuckled, turning in my seat to start the jeep. I rolled the windows down as he got out and he stopped at my window, brushing his hand against my arm gently.

“Be safe driving, okay?” he said, quite vulnerably actually. My breathing hitched and I nodded my head as I stared into his bright eyes. He smiled kindly and patted the hood of the car to send me off before walking towards his house, lighting another cigarette.

I turned my head to back out, just to be met with Anna's large ‘tarded smile.

“God you’re such a crackhead.” I chuckled as she danced in her seat.

“He likes you, he likes you!” she sang, making me laugh. And she continued. “He likes yo booty, he wanna touch it-”

“OH MY GOD!” I screamed in laughter as we started for the hotel.

[rabbit-trolls]

I uhm... Dont think you should be using the f word so muh considering the uh subject at hand?

-EAT A DICK ILL SAY IT AS MUCH AS I WANT!-

[thecreativeangel]

Heights (Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader)

Eddie Kaspbrak x Gender Not Specified!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: A peaceful moment at the Barrens is interrupted by Eddie, who hates his short height. You never found anything wrong with it, but the Losers playfully tease him until you can’t take it anymore. As you defend him, you accidentally let slip more than you meant to. And the Losers go wild because of this.

Warnings: Cursing, SLIGHT mention of Henry being an asshole. Otherwise it’s as fluffy as a sheep wearing a sweater from the wool of his dead brother. (wOW OK that was darker than needed I’m sorry.) And I know I gotta post the next “Town of Forgetting” chapter, but hold on a sec I’m busy procrastinating.

Word Count: 930

You sat at the edge of a bolder, dangling your feet above the cool water. The other Losers were a while away, talking loudly, but you preferred small moments of peace. Focusing on the soft ripples in the water when droplets fell from your toes, the hot sun softly baking your shoulders, distant sounds of a family of turtles diving into the-

“I am not short!”

“Sure, Eds. And Beverly’s not gonna get lung cancer by the time she’s twenty.”

“Hey! Leave me out of this!”

You sigh inwardly and climb off the boulder, walking back to the little circle of logs that the Losers were sitting around. Eddie was waving his hands around as Stan and Richie laughed. Even Ben and Bill cracked small grins, and Beverly looked away to hide her smile.

You sat down on the rough log next to Eddie, raising an eyebrow at their joke.

“What’s so funny?” You ask.

“They’re saying I’m- I’m not short!” Eddie rambles heatedly. “If anything, you’re all freaking giants, is what you are! And anyway- Oh shut up laughing Richie!”

Richie threw his head back and cackled, pretending to wipe away tears. “Oh God, your face-”

“I think you’re the perfect size Eds.” You say passively, hoping no one would catch your subtle compliment. But of course, there was Richie…

“Ha! I bet you know his size, don’t you (Name)?” He asks slyly, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“Argh!” You cry, making a face. “No! Jesus Richie, that was worse than what I actually thought you’d say!”

Eddie crosses his arms and pouts like a child. “I’m not short.”

“Fine.” Richie sighs, supposedly admitting defeat. Eddie’s face brightened a bit, but yours turns sour. You knew damn well Richie wouldn’t give up. There was a pause…

“You’re not short Eds, you’re down right petite!”

“Dammit!” Eddie cries, reaching out to grab Richie by the throat. You shove yourself between them, keeping Eddie at a distance where he couldn’t strangle Richie. Eddie huffs and lowers his arms, pointedly staring at the ground.

“Henry said I’m short too.” He mumbles, kicking a pebble with more anger than you have ever seen anyone kick a pebble with. You catch Richie’s eye and send him a dirty look, silently telling him to fuck off.

“‘You live on your tippy toes,’” Eddie mimics, faking Henry’s deep voice, stupid expression and making gorilla arms. “‘Bet any girl would have to lay down to suck your dick. If you have one.’”

Bev, Richie and Stan all shove their fists into their mouths to keep from laughing. You glare at them again.

“I think you’re well sized,” You say, patting him on the back. “You can hide behind tons of shit, escape the cops, squeeze through jail bars, the perfect height to cuddle, tons of legroom in-”

“Wait, HOLD ON,” Beverly shouts, jumping off her log. “Did I just hear you say-”

“What? No.” You deny, realising your slip up.

“-that Eddie was the perfect height-”

“No! No, no, no, no...”

“-to cuddle?”

“No I didn’t!”

Her shit eating grin was growing wider and wider by the second.

“I heard it too!” Richie speaks up. “Right guys?”

You look at the rest of the Losers with desperation in your eyes, but they all wore teasing expressions. “I’m pretty sure that’s what you said.” Stan pipes up.

“Ditto.” Mike says.

“Muh-m-maybe you s-should say it ag-guh-gain,” Bill says. “T-t-to clear thuh-things up.”

You looks towards Ben, who was usually on your side. He shrugged and smiled guiltily. “Sorry (Name)...”

“I hate you all.” You announce, slumping lower on the log and inching away from Eddie. You couldn’t make yourself look him in the face.

“I’m planning the marriage!” Beverly yells.

“I call dibs on best man!”

“I wanna be the bridesmaid!”

“You’re not a girl Richie.”

“Aww hell naw, you’re jealous that I’m gonna be a better bridesmaid than you!”

“Fuck off Richie!”

Your face felt hot as you watched your friends get off their logs to have a full on fight about who would be who at your wedding. You pinched the bridge of your nose and shook your head, but secretly enjoyed watching them banter.

“I think you’re the perfect height to cuddle too.” Eddie whispers from the corner of his mouth, careful so the other Losers wouldn’t hear him. Your pouty lips turn up in a small smile that couldn’t be contained.

“Thanks.” You whisper back. His hand moves, skimming across the bumpy bark of the log. You feel his fingertips touch yours and your own hand inches toward his, tentatively lacing your fingers in his.

Your chest is tight but at the same time feels like exploding, bursting into millions of colorful fireworks. Eddie moves closer to you and the fireworks erupt along with your heartbeat, your reserved smile becoming so wide it hurt your cheeks.

You watched peacefully as Beverly and Stan bickered over vanilla or chocolate cake and glanced at Eddie, catching his eye. Him and you quickly looked away, the red spreading on both your cheeks. The summer day was perfect for spending time near the water. Birds sang, fish came up from their depths, frogs lazily swam through the lake. The tranquil scene was almost enough to distract from the loud voices of your arguing friends. As one bird stopped chirping and another one started, and the fish went back into the depths, and the frogs darted under a rock, and the Losers settles down on their logs, one thing stayed the same.

Your hand was still entwined in Eddie’s.

Tags List: @exoticeggos

[johanbrandy]

Arjun having sex with neighbourhood aunty Neetu

So, I’m a 18yr old guy living in panipat..I live with my parents here..let assume my name to be Arjun..our original home is in some other state and we live in a rented house here..my dad works in a govt firm.One of our neighbour is very close to our family..the couple had three children and it happened that one of their child studied in the same class as mine, so her mom was always interested about knowing about my preparations for the exams..let assume her name to be neetu..she is 38 yrs old. Neetu aunty used to visit our home very often whenever my mum was at home.

One day,due to some domestic reasons my mom had to go to our native for one and half month..my dad would leave for office at 8 in the morning and come home at around 8pm..I was all alone at home at that time..and had to do all the work by myself.one fine day, I was washing my clothes and then neetu aunty knocked at that door…my vest n football shorts were all wet and I was not wearing any underwear underneath..I thought that she just came to ask something and then she would go..so, I didn’t change my clothes and opened the door..she came inside and asked me if I had breakfast and what I would eat for lunch.

she roamed inside the house and complimented me for cleaning the house so well..she sat on the sofa and she got wet in the light rain..I gave her a towel and noticed that the was wearing a sexy lacy bra which was visible from outside her salwar kameez..seeing this is got an erection..I noticed that my bulge was visible so I aat down on the sofa opposite to her..I was able to hide my erection but neetu aunty might have noticed that I got hard inside my pants..I felt embarrassed…she giggled a bit..and then someone called on my phone which was on my table..I didn’t want to get up..but I had to..I got up and my erect cock was clesrly visible..I picked the phone facing away from her..then I sat down on a chair near the table itself..

aunty asked who it was..I said it was a friend..she the asked if it was my girlfriend…I said no..she then asked me if I had a girlfriend…I said yes..she enquired about it and then she handed me my towel..she said that she’ll be coming again at 12 noon to check if was able to cook properly…while going she smiled and said ” ghr mei koi aaye toh andr kuch pehen lia kr”..I sensed what she meant and felt hugely embarrassed…She again came at 12 noon and asks me what I’ll be cooking..she noticed that I didn’t bath yet..she offered me help and said that she’ll cook the paneer and dal and told me to get a bath..meanwhile I entered the bathroom..I remembered whatever happened and felt horny..

I shagged off in the bathroom..just after I shagged off she came running at the bathroom door shouting that something went into her eye..I grabbed the towel n put it over my dick and opened the door..she rushed in and washed her eye..she then asked for my towel and she said that be quick..and she took the towel from me..and I had to hide my semi erect cock with my hand…she noticed the cum on the floor..she gave a naughty smile and went out of the bathroom..I came out of the bathroom after bathing wearing a towel and went to my room directly and was about to lock the door..then neetu aunty said that “drwaza bndh krne ki kya zarurt hai..waise bhi dhng k kpde toh nhi pehenta h tu” and I was dumbfounded…

I wore my clothes hurriedly and came to the kitchen to help her..she ws done with cooking and then she served me lunch…and went back home…I ws thinking over her comments repeatedly and shagged off again..The next day she came to me and brought some idli for me in a tiffin box..she told me to have it for breakfast…while opening the tiffin box she spilled the chutney all over her clothes over her chest..she then rushed to the bathroom..she just closed the door and left a small gap..it was visible to me what she was doing..she opened her salwar and cleaned her boob area..she was not able to clean ir completely and asked me for a towel..I said that there is a towel inside the bathroom..

she cleaned her chest area and wrapped the towel over her boobs and came out..she then told me that she didn’t bath yet and if I had any any problem if she took bath in my bathroom..I said that I have no problem at all..she then asked me to get her clothes from her house…she gave me the keys of her house and instructed me to bring her salwar kameez and also told me that there is a red colour paper box inside and to bring that too..she told me that she had a vanity bag inside her wardrobe which had her medicines and to bring it along..I went to her home and brought all the stuff..

I had some suspicion about that box and I opened it to find that there was a pink bra inside it..I wrapped it and put it back..I handed over her stuff to her and then she took bath..while she was taking bath I notice that the shower was kept flowing for too long..I felp suspicious and decided to look into what she was doing..I managed to look inside the bathroom from the small gap between the door and the floor….to my surprise she was fucking herself with a dildo..she had the dildo in her vanity bag..when she was over with it she took out some cream and a razor from her bag..she applied the cream in her pubic region and shaved her pubic hair off..seeing all this I got excited and started jerking myself..

I was about to climax and gave a loud moan and cummed on the floor..neetu aunty might have understood what I was doing..she then finished bathing and started wearing her clothes..she called me for help as she was not able to fasten her bra strap..I helped her and came out of her bathroom..while she was coming out of the bathroom she noticed that there was cum on the floor..she asked me “arjun, ye nche kya pda hua hai”..I replied ” nhi pta aunty..conditioner hoga shyd”..she then touched it and smelled it..and said ” nahi..ye toh conditioner nahi hai..conditioner ki smell toh aisi nhi hoti hai” I said ” nhi pta aunty”..she then asked me ” tere hath mei kya lga hua hai?” And then I noticed that I had cum in my arm too..I said ” nhi pta aunty..kch lga hga”..

she said ” accha…sch bta ki tu kya kr rha tha jb mai nha rhi thi.” I said ” kch nhi aunty phone mei games khel rha tha”..she said ” but tere phone msi toh games hai hi nhi” then I said ” mera mtlb tha ki games download kr rha tha” she then looked at me with lust in her eyes..then we sat on the sofa and were talking..she asked me ” tune apni grlfrnd ko kiss kia hai?”..I saud ” nhi”..

she said “arre sharma mt..kai tri mummy ko nhi bataungi” the I said ” well..haan “..she said ” accha..iska mtlb agr akele bnd kmre mei hote tkh sex v kr lete..waise kya kya kia tune uske sth?”..I said that ” bs kiss kia” then she replied ” usne tere sath kya kia? Tu toh waise bhi andr kch nhi pehenta h..usne iska faayda nhi uthaya?”..I said ” nhi aunty..hmne bs bus mei kiss kia tha” she replied “accha..tb shyd tra itna bda nhi tha..ab toh tu bda ho gya h..ab toh ldkiyan tere iss dressing sense ka khub faayda uthayengi..ldke toh lucky hote h..apni pyaas bhja skte h..bt ldkiyon ko toh bht cheezon ki zarurt hoti hai..haath se kaam nhi chlta hmara..aajkl toh tere uncle bhi ghr pr nhi rhte h…mai toh pagal hi jti hoon akele akele”..

I replied with a “hmmm”..she then said that ” waise maine delhi se kch artificial samaan mangayi thi..ussi se kaam chalati hoon aajkl..” she then brought hee vanity bag and showed me her dildo..it was a vibrating one..I acted innocent and asked her what it ws..she said “ye whi hai jo tere pant k andr hai..bus difference itna h ki tra use nhi hua h aur ye use ho chuka h”..I knew where this conversation was going..I asked her ” ye kaise use krte h”..she said ” tu apna phn de..dikhati hoon”..she then opened a porn site and showed me a video of a girl using a dildo..I remained silent..she then asked me ” bda ho gya h na tra?” I remained silent..she then placed her hand on my crotch and said “ktna bda h tra..roz hilata hga na tu”

I didn’t know how to react and utrered “ummm..haan”…she then tld me ” chl pant utar de apni..dkhte h ki mra dildo zyda bda h ya tra lund” as soon as she uttered the word ‘lund’ it sent shivers down my spine..I knew that it was now or never and I pulled down my shorts and my dick sprang out saluting her..she then grabbed my 8 inch dick and saidkaafi mota bhi hai..tere uncle ka toh chota sa hai.. dildo se hi kaam chlati hoon..tri biwi ko bht khush rhegi ki itna bda aur mota lund uske pss hga”..then she asks me ” tu chup chap kyu khda h..tu mjhe dkhna chahta h na?..chl dkh le..” she the removed her salwar and kameez n was sitting there just in her bra and panty..she then asked me “tjhe kiss kiye hue ktne din ho gye”

I replied ” 8 mahine shyd”..she replied ” accha….pta h tere uncle toh mjhe bs lips pe kiss krte h n bs khde khde mjhe chodte hai..mjhe satisfaction milti hi nhi..srf chudne se mri chut ko rahat nhi milti aur toh aur mjhe unka lund chusne tk nhi dete” again she started her war of words and I was filled with lust for her..then I said ” toh mjhe use krlo..mai toh hr chz k lye ready hoon”then I grabbed her face and gave her a deep kiss..eventually I opened her bra n made her sit on the couch..I sat down on the floor between her legs.. I said ” mai sb dkh rha tha aunty g..jo kch aap bathroom mei kr rhe the” with this I separated her legs and kissed her chut abover her panty..her panty was totally wet and I took it off..and started licking her vagina ..she was moaning and uttering

“arjunnn…aaahhh.meri jaan…chaat meri chut ko” she then held my head and went in into her clean shaven pussy..then I told her to stand up and I lied down on the sofa and said ” aunty g..aap mere muh k upr baith jao..”..she obeyed me n sat on my face..she then turned around and took my cock in her mouth..and sucked it hard and I was busy licking her pussy..she then saidab mjhe nche rhne do n tu uor chdh jaa” I obeyed but I couldn’t understand why she did so….while I was busy licking her pussy I felt her fingers on my asshole..she lubricated my asshole using her saliva and put two fingers inside..then she inserted her vibrating dildo in my arse..while licking my dick simultaneously…she had many orgasms and at that time she put the dildo deep inside my ass..