#eating cashews and thought about this

[leighsartworks216]

Humans looking at poisonous plants: Oh fuck I gotta eat you somehow

[moldy-mold]

Boys...

[cashew-milkk]

so i still have an eating disorder…

[stylesharrys]

Special Brownies [Weedrry]

Harry and Y/N accidentally eat their roommates special brownies.

A/N: I came up with this idea very randomly and I have written it as fast as I possibly could lmao anyway, the whole thing is about accidentally getting stoned, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read! If it doesn't, enjoy <333

Warnings: mentions and use of weed (edibles), being high, swearing, kissing, biting, unprotected sex, bit of dirty talk.

WC: 2.3k

//

It’s been a long week and Y/N is feeling it. Between classes and shifts at the cafe, her feet are sore and her mind is tired. She wants nothing more than to cuddle up on the sofa with a good tv show and pass the fuck out.

And tonight is supposed to be her lucky night. Tom has a night shift and Harry has a hot date. No boys, no roommates, no interruptions.

There’s just something about knowing she’s got the flat to herself all night long, and she can lounge about like the lazy girlie her heart yearns to be.

She starts with a long, relaxing her aching body in the hot soapy water until her skin begins to prune. Y/N takes extra time to moisturise her body and brush her hair. Even treats herself to a face mask while she does so.

When she leaves the bathroom, it’s almost 7 p.m. and Tom has already left for work. The apartment is clean, and most importantly, quiet.

She’s a bit too excited in her movement to the sofa, a squeal slipping from her lips. Too caught up in her head, she doesn’t notice Harry leaning against his bedroom door, arms folded across his chest.

It’s not until he clears his throat that Y/N jumps out of her little happy dance with a scream. A smirk sits on his lips, amused by the way she scowls at him.

“What the hell are you doing here! You’re supposed to be out on a date!”

Her tone is accusing, pointer finger jabbing at the air in his direction. She notices his attire; grey shorts and a white hoodie. Y/N’s shoulders slump.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she huffs.

“What? I thought you liked hanging out with me?” Harry follows her to the sofa, sitting on  the opposite end of her.

Y/N crosses her arms furiously. “I do! But I was so excited to have the flat to myself for just one night.”

Harry’s brows are raised suggestively, that sick fucking smirk on his lips again. Y/N lunges a pillow at his face. “Not for those reasons, you perv.”

He barks out a laugh, hugging the pillow close to his chest as he props his feet up and on Y/N’s lap. He watches how her bottom lip pouts out and his face softens.

“Look, if you want me to fuck off out for the evening, I can.” Harry offers.

She scoffs. “That is what you were supposed to be doing.” A moment of silence passes and she sighs. “Sorry, that came out rude. I'm not about to kick you out of your own flat – though I am going to force you to watch the last three episodes of The Rookie with me.”

Harry makes no attempt to hide the groan that follows her words. It’s not that he doesn’t like the show, it’s that he hates the show. He’ll never understand Y/N’s weird obsession with emergency services.

First, it was Criminal Minds, then a month later she binge watched 9-1-1 Lone Star in six days. Now she’s on the newest season of The Rookie and he’s sure she only started season one at the beginning of the month?

“Do we have to?” he grumbles.

Y/N throws another pillow at him. “Yes. You’re the one interrupting my night, you could at least do it quietly… and with snacks.”

Her voice trails off at the end of her sentence and Harry has to bite back a grin. She could never be mad at Harry, she loves him and his company far too much. Tom, on the other hand… yeah, she would definitely be mad if it was him crashing her lazy girl night.

Harry stands from the sofa, wandering through to the kitchen. He grabs two bottles of water in one hand and scans his eyes through the cupboards in search for a suitable snack.

They’ve not been shopping for a few days, so there’s only some dry crackers, a half-eaten bag of cashew nuts (ew, Tom), and granola. Harry contemplates ubering some cookies and milkshakes when his eyes land on a bakery box on top of the microwave.

He squints as he reads the writing on the top of the box.

Tom’s. DO NOT EAT!

Harry flips the lid, six thick slices of dewey chocolate brownies. They’re like fucking slabs… he’s sure Tom won’t mind if he and Y/N share just one between them.

He pops a (massive) slice on a plate and toddles back to the kitchen. The show is paused on the opening scene, Y/N shuffled to get comfortable on the sofa. She raises a brow at the snack in question.

“We’re sharing a brownie?”

Harry huffs as he sits. “S’all we’ve got in the kitchen, and they’re Tom’s. Didn’t wanna take the piss when his little sticky note clearly says DO NOT TOUCH!”

Y/N snorts, breaking the brownie in half and handing Harry the bigger slice. She takes a bite, face screwing slightly.

“These taste a little funny… nutmeg, maybe?”

She turns to Harry who doesn’t say anything and still hasn’t taken the brownie. The look on his face irks her. She huffs, swallowing. “I feel bad that your date cancelled on you.”

His eyebrows almost raise to his hairline. “And what makes you think she was the one to cancel?”

“Was she?” Y/N asks.

Harry takes the brownie with a sigh. “Yeah.”

//

They can’t stop fucking giggling.

The show is long forgotten about, has been for the past thirty minutes. They’re both feeling warm. Harry stripped from his jumper and Y/N changed into some little shorts and one of Harry’s baggy t-shirts.

Neither of them know where this amusement came from, but there is absolutely no calming either of them down. They’re sneakily sharing a second slice of Tom’s brownies; eyes on the door in case for some reason, he comes home an hour after his shift has started.

“They taste so weird, but I can’t stop eating it.”

Harry chokes out a laugh, eyes welling with tears because he just finds Y/N so fucking funny tonight.

She’s a mess too, eyes squinted and shoulders hunched as she laughs uncontrollably. They’re both crossed-legged on the living room floor, knees knocking gently.

The more she chews, the more she begins to recognise that unfamiliar taste… the way it lingers on her tongue. Her laughter slows for a moment, as if realisation is beginning to dawn on her.

She stares at Harry with wide eyes and parted lips, mouth still full.

“Oh, my god.”

“What?”

“They’re fucking weed brownies!”

Harry can’t breathe, struggles to look away from the fear and shock on Y/N’s face. His whole body begins to shake with laughter and Y/N finds herself following.

“Harry, it’s not funny!” she shrieks. “This is so bad, Harry.”

She’s laughing through her words. Even she can’t take herself seriously in this state.

“D’you wanna play Just Dance?”

Harry’s words only make her laugh harder. The remainder of her brownie is thrown at his naked torso. Harry wastes no time to tackle her to the ground, hovering between her legs as he tickles her sides.

He's blowing raspberries on her neck, eliciting loud cackles from her mouth. Y/N tugs at his hair, her legs flailing around his hips when he nips at the skin on her throat.

They don’t say anything. She continues to chuckle, and Harry continues to bite.

Their laughter has fizzled out into breathy giggles. Neither of them are sure when Harry’s bites turned into kisses. When their fingers became intertwined. When her legs closed around his middle.

And neither of them say a fucking thing about it.

Harry’s lips travel up her neck and across her jaw. She finds his mouth feverishly, nothing but tongue and teeth but to the pair of them, it’s the best kiss they’ve ever had.

They’re needy, hot and wanton all of a sudden. Like a switch has been flipped and they’re clinging to one another like lifelines.

Harry holds her hands above her head, fingers tangled. He’s hard, rock hard. Pressing into Y/N’s tiny fucking shorts so much he’s sure he can feel her arousal through both of their clothes.

He ruts against her, testing the waters. The moan he receives sends all blood down south. He’s always known sex to be incredible when you’re high. The thought of him sharing it with her? God, he could bust there and then.

He releases her hands so he can feel up her thighs, skin hot and smooth. Their lips don’t separate, not once. She lets her hands fall into his curls, nails scratching at his scalp and she tugs at the roots.

Harry’s moaning into her mouth, eager and desperate for more. He takes her shorts off quickly and strategically. So quickly that she doesn’t notice until she feels a cool breeze between her thighs.

Y/N’s eyes roll to the back of her head, more than ready for whatever the fuck he wants to do to her.

They haven’t hesitated, not once. Not until Harry's hands are at the waistband of his shorts and he wonders if he should grab a condom or just go down on her. He knows she’s on the pill, just like they both know they’re both clean.

Harry gets tested once a month and Y/N doesn’t sleep around.

She answers his inner turmoil for him and tugs his shorts down the best she can. Harry breaks the kiss for a split second to tug his shorts to his knees. He’s back to kissing her as quickly as he pulled away, tongue against hers. Hot and messy.

Y/N feels his tip twitch against her clit, an airy sigh echoing into Harry’s mouth. He lets his fingers swirl around her wetness, smearing it across her smooth cunt and coating his thick shaft in her arousal.

They’re panting messes, eager, desperate and horny.

When he lines himself at her entrance, she locks her legs around his waist. Harry bumps forward, a shrill cry slipping from between their lips at the sensation of one another.

Harry wants to give her a moment to adjust, but Y/N doesn’t. She wants it hot and hard. She wants the pain. She wants to feel every fucking inch of him.

She probably should’ve warned Harry how she gets when she’s high. How much of a whiny, cock-hungry whore she can become. Then again, how was she supposed to know they’d accidentally eat their roommates special brownies?

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Harry chokes as he bottoms out.

Y/N’s struggling to catch her breath but she’s never loved the burn in her lungs more. “Fuck me, H.”

He twitches inside her. “Fuck me hard.”

His hips begin to roll, cock nuzzling itself deep inside her. He can feel everything. Every bump, dip, swell. God, she’s fucking soaked, leaking down to the floor but neither of them care.

Harry slowly begins to quicken his pace, arms bent at the elbows either side of Y/N’s head to prop himself up. She doesn’t loosen her legs around his hips. She needs him as close as he can possibly get.

Even his cock buried to the brim in her cunt isn’t enough. She needs his soul touching hers.

“You’re so fucking tight.”

“Yeah?” she breathes. “You gonna fuck my tight cunt, baby? Fuck me like you own me.”

He can’t believe his fucking ears. He’s always found Y/N attractive, but never in his wildest fucking dreams did he expect her to be this goddamn filthy.

Harry loves it.

His thrusts grow harsher. She has no time to catch her breath between hits, her mouth in a constant state of slack – eyes rolled back and eyebrows pinched.

“My perfect little cunt.” Harry seethes.

The noises of her pussy are like electric waves in Harry’s ears. He feels them in his soul, like sparks and jolts. He’s never felt more alive.

He’s fucking into her manically. Behind closed eyes all he can see shapes and colours of need and desire. Sex has always been good, always been great high. But this? Fuck, he’s never felt something so otherwordly.

He never wants it to end, wants to spend the rest of his life fucking her like a whore. She’s tugging his hair, likely making his scalp bleed but he loves it. He’d bleed a fucking river just to feel her cunt around him again.

“I’m gonna come!”

Her words awaken something animalistic within Harry. Like his life depends on feeling her release around him – like it’s what he was born to experience.

He chases her high, nipping and suckling on her neck, fucking into her cunt as fast as his restrained hips will allow. Y/N’s a blubbering mess, a sight Harry never wants to forget.

Fuck, he doesn’t think he could if he tried. This will forever be etched into his mind – her face, her body, her perfect cunt. Jesus, he’s never been so into sex in his life.

Her body begins to tremble uncontrollably, legs locked tight around his middle as she cries his name and pours over him.

Harry’s gruff and desperate moans mix with hers. She’s impossibly tighter, squeezing him; begging him to never let her feel anything but full ever again.

Harry wants to die buried in her cunt.

It takes every single fucking ounce of willpower he has to pull out and release across her thighs – painting the filthiest picture anyone could imagine.

It’s a struggle for either of them to catch their breaths. Hot and heavy panting that soon turns into light laughter, that even sooner, turns into contagious giggles.

Their bodies shake with every chuckle, Harry’s mouth ghosting hers until he nips on her bottom lip.

“We are never to talk about this, understood?”

He grins widely. “Whatever you want, Princess.”

She hums, eyes full of lust. Harry’s still achingly hard, despite coming more than he ever has before. He dips his head to her neck, sucking at her soft skin. His cock twitches against her thigh and she breathes deeply, blinks slowly.

“You wanna go again?” his voice is muffled by her neck.

She grins, legs wrapping back around his middle.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

//

let me know what you thought!

[hedgehog-moss]

I finally planted my garden last week! We had a couple of days of sun which gave me hope, but it's once again raining every day. Thoughts and prayers for my tomato plants, but I couldn't keep everyone in the greenhouse forever, I had to make room for other plants.

(In the fourth picture above you can see what's inside the hügelkultur mound—it's a pile of branches + llama manure + compost + potting soil. One thing I find great about it is how well it retains moisture! Well it's not a problem this year so far but during heat waves I water these plants a lot less than non-mound plants.)

In the greenhouse my seedlings have been struggling due to lack of sun. Impossible to get courgette plants so I had to buy a few from the young couple in town who recently started a plant nursery—they didn't have many either, and I had to share with the mayor who also came looking for courgette plants because slugs devoured all of his.

He must have seen on my face that I thought my plants didn't stand a chance if slugs don't even respect municipal authority, because he kindly advised me to place crowns of bedstraw (see above) around my plants to protect them. I didn't dare to ask "If it works so well why do you have no courgette plants left?" I just said thank you, and then spent an entire evening last week weaving this sticky weed into crowns and whatsapping photos of my art to the mayor, who always replied "More! More! It needs to be thicker! Like a doughnut!"

Meanwhile 1 leek in the greenhouse suddenly grew a lot thicker while the other 3 remained skinny and fearful-looking and I'm not sure why. They share a pot, so maybe it's like vanishing twin syndrome. My bell pepper seeds had the same asynchronous development issue—one pot is just now starting to have timid seedlings while the other (right next to it) already contains a grown-up plant with baby peppers:

By far my happiest greenhouse plants are the potatoes and lettuce. They shot up so fast! I've been eating a lot of lettuce lately but I can't keep up with how quickly they grow in this cold, rainy spring. And I haven't had any slug raids in the greenhouse so that's great.

My greenhouse squash, onions and pickles are still tiny and not worth a photo (harsh, but this post already has too many photos). My strawberries in the aquaponic towers are beautiful despite the lack of sun and I've been getting mini-harvests of 2-3 strawberries a day for two weeks! They're done now, but I started more seeds so maybe I can get a second round at the end of the month.

Three more things:

1. Morille helped a lot as I was planting the garden. She kept an eye on my gardening tools so no one would steal them, and sometimes used them as cheek-scratchers. At one point I put one of my beautiful bedstraw crowns around her neck so she looked like Philip III of Spain in that painting where he wears a big ruff, but tragically she ran away in outrage before I could take a picture, and when she returned she'd got rid of her collar.

2. At the cow parade the other day there was a lady at the market who sold jars of homemade pesto sauce made from all kinds of different plants, and it opened up my mind to entirely new pesto horizons!! I always make the traditional kind with basil, but I have plants that grow much faster than basil, like my rocket, so I tried making pesto with 1/3 basil 2/3 rocket (plus garlic, olive oil, parmesan, cashews) and it was so good! I have to explore all of her recipes now, like plantain or nettle or sage pesto...

3. There's a monster in the greenhouse. It appeared practically overnight and is quickly claiming more and more territory. Unlike last year it's not a parsley monster—it's my lemon balm. One day it was growing in its vertical tower, luxuriant but tidy, like a normal plant, and the next it had quintupled in volume and was threatening to swallow the nearest planter. Look at the tiny tomato plants, they look terrified of it!

I urgently need to fight back against this giant mélisse (as we call lemon balm) but I've been really busy and I keep putting it off, and then remembering anxiously at 11pm that I still have this creature to take care of, which is ironic seeing as lemon balm is supposed to relieve stress and anxiety. This is the exact opposite of why I planted you. Anyway if you never hear from me again after this post it's because I finally engaged in battle against this year's vegetal menace, and lost.

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Mr Neil,

You probably won't be able to see this but I just had to get it out to rest my mind and I feel like it's more reliable to get an answer from an author than on Google.

I've seen that reblog from one of Ms Diane's asks where they mention that any story idea, fanfic, suggestion shouldn't be sent over as it would cause possible issues. So I was thinking, if you don't read fanfics, are you also not allowed to read prompts?

There's a blog here on Tumblr which posts prompts so I was wondering if authors aren't allowed to read those and what about if you were just surfing the internet say on Twitter or here on Tumblr where a lot of thoughts about certain books or shows are being posted. Are you required to inform during meetings if you've passed by a similar idea somewhere or would that only matter if it was directed to you?

Maybe you've answered this question before that I must not have understood or seen. I'm sorry if that's the case 😥

I'm all out of answers. I don't read fan fiction. It is to everyone's benefit that I don't read fan fiction especially that of the people writing the fan fiction. I don't read prompts, I don't read it on Tumblr, I don't read it on A03, when people decide to send it to me in the asks I don't read it. I do not read it on a train, I do not read it in the rain, I do not read it here or there, I do not read it anywhere...

Let's try a thought experiment.

"I don't eat peanuts. I'm allergic to them, and I don't like the taste."

"Can you eat peanut butter?"

"No. I'm allergic to peanuts. They can kill me."

"Okay, I get it on the whole peanuts and the peanut butter, but my mom makes fabulous peanut cake, and the peanuts in that are really finely chopped, so you don't know they're peanuts. Can you eat my mom's peanut cake?"

"I can't eat them. They would kill me."

"I've got a recipe for Cashew-butter that tastes exactly like peanut butter. Can I make you a cashew-butter sandwich? You aren't allergic to that."

"No, but I don't like the taste. I'll pass."

"Hey! We haven't talked about boiled gas station peanuts. If you could hypothetically eat peanuts and you were in a gas station in the south, would you have the spicy boiled peanuts or the vinegary boiled peanuts or the plain boiled peanuts?"

"I wouldn't eat the peanuts."

"No, but hypothetically, and remembering that these are green peanuts and not dried peanuts, pick the one you'd prefer..."

[subconscious-solipsist]

Cashews are my second favourite nut. I think we all know my first

[buckybabesonly]

I Wanna Be Yours

Summary: You are afraid to believe that someone like Bucky might actually love you back.

Pairing: Bucky x Female!Shy!Insecure!Reader

Genre: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: Casual sex (?), misunderstandings, self-deprecation

A/N: I’m actually not very happy with how this turned out but I hope some of you might enjoy it anyway?

Word count: 4.8k

You had never fallen in love before until you met Bucky.

You had spent your whole life wondering when it would happen to you - when you would feel that heart-racing, mind-blowing, bliss-inducing love that you saw so often in movies and read in novels.

Falling for him had been unexpected, like you had been turning corners in an endless maze until suddenly - there he was. This unbelievably talented, unique, intelligent man who treated you with respect and kindness. He showed interest in you when you were too shy to approach him first, talking to you about the everyday mundane, making you feel special. Out of all the incredible people Bucky knew and interacted with, he made you feel like you counted, too.

You worked as a lab tech at the Avengers compound since landing the coveted job two years ago, working closely with Bruce Banner, and had witnessed first hand when Bucky joined the team. He had been quiet at first, introverted, but you watched as he blossomed like a flower. He revealed more of his great sense of humour, wicked smile and subtle charm which made you fall for him.

When you were around him, you felt like your nerve endings were on fire. Every touch from him on your arm, your shoulders, the small of your back, sent pulses shooting through your body and a flush of red straight to your cheeks. The power he had over you was undeniable, and you were certain he knew it, too.

The moment you realised you were in trouble was on a Saturday afternoon, four months after you first met him. He returned to the compound one day with a nasty gash on his forehead and blood crusting his hands, his eyes tired and face pale. The moment you saw him, you knew that if anything were to happen to him, you would have no idea how to cope. Even seeing him with relatively minor injuries made your chest clench in fear and anxiety.

Without a doubt, you had finally fallen in love.

Your first time with Bucky was unexpected. He was perched on one of the counters in your lab, snacking on a pack of cashews as he watched you peer into a microscope. You could barely focus on the work at hand, hyper aware of his presence and ocean blue eyes on your form.

“You’re not supposed to eat in here, you know,” you murmured, trying to hide your smile.

“I know,” he countered, continuing to chew obnoxiously.

You had been harbouring your secret feelings for him for over a year and a half. With every day that passed, you found it harder and harder to figure out what to do. Sometimes you felt that he reciprocated them - the constant flirting, the close touches, the excuses he made to spend time alone with one another. But you were too afraid to ask him outright how he felt about you, and too shy to make the first move.

“How’s your leg?” you asked, if only to distract yourself from your thoughts, referring to the injury he had received a few days ago.

“Much better. Strong as ever.” He kicked it out suddenly as to punctuate his words.

“Hey,” you exclaimed, alarmed. “I wish you would be more careful. Seems you’re always getting patched up lately.” You were frowning, and Bucky seemed amused at your concern.

“Occupational hazard.”

“Whatever. Just don’t bust open your stitches and bleed all over my lab. It’s just been sanitized.” You sniffed as Bucky cocked his head at you, flashing his adorable grin. “In fact I’m violating several health and safety rules just allowing you to be in here,” you said, trying to keep your face straight as Bucky threatened to tease a smile from you.

You turned back to the work at hand, working in comfortable silence as Bucky observed you. He soon seemed restless, however, and you looked up again when he jumped off his perch and walked over to you, bumping you with his shoulder. He smelled so good - like the forest after it had just rained. He looked down at you, giving you one of his trademark dimpled smiles yet again.

“What?”

“I’m bored,” he shrugged.

“Don’t you have top secret, dangerous mission stuff to do?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Your heart was beating fast as he leaned closer suddenly, eyes flickering from yours down to your mouth. He had been doing that a lot as of late.

“Rather do something else,” he said quietly, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip.

Time stood still. He suddenly closed the distance between you, and then you were kissing. His lips were soft, his hands gentle as they raised to cradle your face, sliding into your hair.

Your hands raised on their own accord to grab the edges of his leather jacket, pulling him closer, feeling surreal as he deepened the kiss.

He pulled away just long enough for you to ask breathlessly, “Is this actually happening?”

All he did was chuckle and pull you back against him again.

You were positively floating as Bucky grabbed your hand and led you to his private floor in the compound, into his bedroom. You thought you were dreaming when he lay you down softly on his bed, undressing you both because your hands were shaking.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, eyes searching your face as you nodded.

“Yes,” you said instantly. “It’s okay.”

That night, you had sex with him for the first time. He held you tightly as he thrust inside you, peppering your face with kisses, making you whimper with pleasure until you both reached the inevitable climax.

You felt you could die happy now as you fell asleep in Bucky’s arms, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

Insecurity was an ugly thing.

You woke up a couple of hours before Bucky, lying with your eyes wide open as the ink black sky slowly lightened, the sun bleeding across the horizon.

You looked at this man lying beside you - this perfect specimen, eyes closed and lips slightly parted as he slept, his chiselled jawline, ruggedly handsome features. The reality of what had happened was slowly sinking in, bringing with it doubts and questions as to what this meant.

God, he was so beautiful. So perfect in literally every way. You were fully aware of his contrast to you.

You had never considered yourself a beautiful girl. You had always been very conscious of your flaws, the way your body didn’t look quite the way you wanted it to, the way you felt that no one really gave you a second look.

I’m bored, Bucky had said yesterday. Were you just a cure for his boredom?

You gnawed at your bottom lip, uncertainties flooding into your system as you recalled the conversation and events leading up to the steamy encounter yesterday. Had he pulled you tighter against him, or had you simply imagined it? Did he do this all the time, or were you an exception?

People had causal sex all the time. You knew that Natasha and Steve had fooled around before and continued as friends only, and a lot of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents you knew had been known to sleep around interdepartmentally, lending to some interesting work gossip.

You knew you were stupid to let yourself think something serious might be happening. You and Bucky hadn’t even spoken about feelings or been on anything which remotely resembled a date. Bucky had been a proper charmer back in the day, you were well aware.

Your heart plummeted as you continued to think. You were suddenly so relieved you hadn’t revealed your feelings for him last night in your stupor. You had been so happy to be held by him, to be kissed by him, but that’s all it was - just a bit of fun. It had to be.

You felt Bucky stir beside you eventually, and you clutched the covers close to your naked body as he opened his eyes and smiled at you lazily.

What was the proper etiquette? Were you supposed to leave as soon as possible?

“Morning,” he said huskily. He looked so adorable that the panic in your chest quelled momentarily.

“Morning,” you smiled.

He yawned, his dark hair unruly as he ran his fingers through it.

“What’s the time?”

You cleared your throat. “Just gone seven. I have an early meeting with Bruce.”

“Mmm. Okay. You have to go now?” He looked at you with what may have been disappointment.

“I should probably get going, yeah. Need to prepare,” you said, eyes scanning the room for your clothes as you blushed at the thought of dressing in front of Bucky, even though he had seen you in all your naked glory last night.

Bucky suddenly moved in close and kissed you, causing your breath to hitch. You felt self conscious about how worn out you probably looked first thing in the morning, but melted into his touch nonetheless.

"Are we going to do this again?" he managed to get out against your lips.

"If you like," you answered carefully.

"I would very much like."

“Me too,” you said shyly, pulling back from Bucky and ducking your head down.

"So you're okay with this?"

Your heart constricted then, wanting to shout loudly that no, it’s not okay, and you actually wanted a serious relationship. But how terrifying would that be to suddenly dump your confessions onto him when the poor man had no idea how you felt?

But you didn’t know what was worse. Just being friends with benefits, or actually confessing your true feelings and pushing him away completely.

“Sure,” you said finally, keeping your voice purposely light. “It’s just sex, Bucky. It’s okay.”

Bucky froze then, his expression unreadable as he stared at you. His eyebrows were slightly drawn together, his lips stiffening as he swallowed.

“What?” you asked carefully, feeling inexplicably nervous.

Bucky was silent for a beat before responding. “Nothing.” He gestured between you with his vibranium hand, frowning ever so slightly. “This is nothing. Right?”

He wanted affirmation. You felt shame flood your chest.

“Right,” you said weakly, turning away before Bucky could see the tears in your eyes. “I better get going.”

He didn’t say anything as you hurriedly pulled on your clothes and mumbled an imperceptible “Bye” before you let yourself out.

As it turned out, it didn’t happen again.

You had no idea what you had done or how you had messed it up, but you had.

You had never done this before. Never casually hopped into bed with a man without something greater at play. You had one ex-boyfriend from your college days who was sweet but you were never truly in love with, and sex with him had happened a few months into your relationship.

You didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to act around Bucky anymore. Didn’t know what he even wanted.

You thought he just wanted a fling. No strings attached. But after that day, somehow, the two of you were never alone again.

He gave you small, if a little curt, smiles now and again and sometimes spoke to you about work-related matters if necessary, but everything else had suddenly disappeared.

A monstrous, ugly feeling gnawed a hole in your chest, slowly over the next two weeks until it was a gaping cavern. Had you messed it up so badly that Bucky just wasn’t interested anymore? Or worse - had it been his objective all along to just get you into bed and then disappear?

No, he wasn’t like that, you decided, quickly dismissing the thought. The only logical conclusion, then, was that your performance had been so poor that he just didn’t want to be intimate again, but didn’t know how to tell you.

You felt so lost. This isn’t what you wanted, not really. You were never one for casual sex, and yet it killed you how Bucky was avoiding you now. You’d rather reduce yourself to his fuck buddy than nothing. That one night with him had been magical, had made you think about an entire lifetime of mornings waking up beside him.

Your misery was clear to see to all those around you, particularly Bruce, whom you had become very good friends with since you worked together in such close proximity.

“Are you okay?” he asked suddenly, exactly two weeks after your night with Bucky. You were prodding about with some equipment you were working on for Sam’s wings. “And don’t just say you are, because I can tell you’re not.”

You shrugged half heartedly. “I guess I’m not. But I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“You might feel better,” Bruce said, approaching you with a sympathetic tilt of the head. “You know I don’t usually pry, but I’m kind of worried. I can tell you’re upset.”

“Not upset,” you lied quickly, meeting his eyes. “Just…I need to get out of my own head, maybe.”

Bruce studied your face carefully but didn’t delve any further. “Tell you what. Maybe you’ll feel better tonight at the party.”

You wanted to groan loudly. Tony’s annual charity gala. You had looked forward to it before, the prospect of dressing up and maybe getting a dance with Bucky, but you weren’t quite in the party mood anymore. Still, you decided to maintain as positive of a mindset as you could, returning Bruce’s smile and promising yourself that you’d try and have a good time.

You left work with a slightly reinvigorated mindset as you headed back to your apartment to get changed. Maybe tonight could be a chance to relight that spark with Bucky again - if not that way, then you at least wanted some assurance that you were still friends.

You tried your best to uplift your mood whilst you got ready. You changed into a silky blue dress, one which complimented Bucky’s eyes, you realised. Perhaps this had been in your subconscious the day you’d picked it out. It was a long number, quite form fitting with a modest slit up the leg. You tried hard with your makeup and jewellery, the idea of impressing Bucky at the forefront of your mind as you tried to steady your racing heart every time he popped into your head.

Observing yourself in the mirror, you smoothed down the sides of your dress and tried to practice your smile. You managed to leave your apartment in a much better, optimistic state as you hailed a cab to take you to the gala venue.

It was being held in a new building commissioned by Tony next to Central Park, extravagant enough to rival the Met. You walked into the marble lobby, gaping at the high, vaulted ceilings and chandeliers hanging everywhere for just a moment, before you began searching the crowd for a familiar face.

You found yourself mingling with your other fellow lab techs who were buzzing with excitement to be invited to such an event, and you suppressed a frown as 30 minutes passed with no sign of Bucky.

Eventually, the crowd filtered into the main room filled with round tables where dinner would be served, and a huge glass bar which stretched along one side of the room. People were still socialising before food was to be served, and your eyes were roving non-stop, unable to focus on proper conversation with anyone.

Finally, just when your hope was dissipating, you saw him. He was standing in the middle of the crowded bar, clad in a black tux. This was the first time you had ever seen him in such an outfit, and it took your breath away. He held a flute of champagne in one hand, a complete vision and so different to how you usually saw him, typically fresh off the battlefield in his combat gear.

He was talking to Sam who had his back towards you. Bucky’s expression was unreadable but, as if sensing your burning eyes on him, he glanced towards you.

He did a double take, pausing mid-sentence to Sam, and you held your breath. He gave you a polite, if slightly terse, smile. He turned his attention away from you again, and your heart clenched.

It hurt more than you thought it would. It was just a tiny gesture, and he had acknowledged you, but why did it cause you pain?

No. Stop overthinking. You excused yourself from your colleagues and found yourself walking towards Bucky and Sam, reminding yourself that you were friends. You spoke to Bucky all the time - okay, maybe not in the last couple of weeks, but you had nothing to be afraid of. Just act normal.

“Hey guys,” you said lightly, watching as Bucky cleared his throat and gave you that same, tight smile.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Sam beamed, giving you a one armed hug. “You look stunning.”

You smiled shyly, twisting your hands together as you looked at Bucky.

“Thanks. You both look very handsome.”

As if answering your prayers for alone time with Bucky, you heard Clint in the distance beckon for Sam to go over, and he excused himself, leaving you two stood in a slightly awkward silence.

Bucky raised his champagne and took a sip as you tried to get him to meet your eyes.

“How have you been?” you asked finally. “Haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

Bucky shrugged, finally looking at you. “Been okay. Busy.”

You felt frustration rising. Usually he would be telling you all about the things that had occurred in his day, his daily arguments with Sam, anything and everything in between. But now he spoke to you as if you were merely acquaintances.

“Listen. Did I do something wrong?” you said finally, surprising yourself by cutting to the chase. You just wanted Bucky back, and you let your desperation take over.

Bucky seemed taken aback at your forward approach, but he composed himself quickly.

“Nothing,” he said, his tone ever so slightly blunt. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

You felt like you were going to cry. You didn’t know how just a fortnight ago, you and Bucky had been locked in a passionate cinch in his bed, and now he was completely icing you out.

“Okay,” you said, deflating slightly. You knew that if he didn’t want to tell you, there was nothing you could do to squeeze it out of him.

“I’m gonna go take a seat,” he muttered, giving you one last look before he walked away.

You quickly hurried back to your colleagues, embarrassment searing your insides.

The evening passed painfully slowly. You found yourself sat quietly at your table after dinner service had ended and people were either having drinks, chatting out on the balconies or dancing in the middle of the ballroom.

You felt the gala could not get any worse. Until it did.

Natasha and Bucky were in the middle of the dance floor, swallowed up in the sea of couples and yet standing out due to their striking attractiveness. Natasha was dressed in a short, tight black dress, so simple and yet so gorgeous. Her red hair was straight and sleek, and she looked up at Bucky as they danced, his signature almost-cocky smile on his lips. A smile which he had not shown you since that day.

Natasha was effortlessly beautiful. She didn’t even have to try and she could get any man she wanted. Bucky included, obviously. You watched their movements closely as they danced, how they spoke to each other in low voices.

The emotions rising in your chest was like bile in your throat. It burned, it hurt, and it was able to illicit a terrible response in your brain.

You felt so ridiculous.

The dress you had on suddenly felt too tight, too uncomfortable around your stomach. You caught sight of your reflection in one of the large, ornate mirrors hanging off the walls and suddenly felt so ugly. You had tried so hard tonight, and for what? Bucky had barely given you ten seconds of his attention, and at the end of the day, no amount of effort could make you feel beautiful.

You didn’t know how you could’ve let yourself believe in something more. You had to make every effort to even just feel somewhat presentable, but women like Natasha didn’t have to. She was stunning and talented and intelligent, the obvious choice.

God knows why you had been questioning Bucky’s lack of attention. Maybe you had simply been misinterpreting your closeness all along.

You stood then, not wanting to cry in front of an audience. No one would notice you early departure anyway.

You left the ballroom, almost tripping in your stupid heels as you collected your things from the cloakroom.

Shrugging on your heavy coat as you marched through the empty lobby, you yelped in pain as you rolled your ankle clumsily, sending you crashing gracelessly onto the floor. You cursed, coat half-hanging off your body as you felt tears spring to your eyes.

It was the last straw. You were crying as you tried to stand, ankle throbbing, feeling mildly grateful that there was no one around to witness your childish episode. You thought you might have heard someone calling your name, but you ignored it, the roaring in your ears failing to stop.

Your tears didn’t cease, not even when you finally made it back home, ripping off the dress as soon as you could and crawling into the safety of your bed.

Bucky finally found you the next day in your lab on your lunch break. You were startled to see him appear in the doorway, your eyes tired and swollen from a night of crying. You hoped it wasn’t too obvious.

“Bruce isn’t here,” was the first thing you said.

He looked almost annoyed as he walked in and said, “Wasn’t looking for him.”

“Oh. What do you want?” The words came out harsher than you intended. Bucky definitely looked annoyed now, a scowl fixed on his face.

He shook his head. “Never mind. Forget it.”

“Bucky!” Your voice came out loud and sharp as he turned back around. Frustration erupted. “You know what - you have no right to behave this way.”

“Excuse me?” He turned to look at you incredulously, forehead creasing.

“The way you’ve been treating me - the past few weeks since that night - you just ignore me now,” you were practically spluttering, all your feelings fighting to pour themselves out at once. “It’s horrible. I thought we were friends.”

“We were,” he said, looking almost torn.

“It’s not fair.” Your eyes were stinging and you were mortified, hurriedly lifting your hands to wipe them.

“Are you crying?” Bucky asked softly, looking nervous.

“Yes,” you snapped. “I thought we were close - I thought you liked me.” You were humiliated at your confession but ploughed on. “I thought that night meant something. But you -”

“Woah, hang on -”

“Don’t interrupt me!” you huffed.

Bucky took you in his arms, pulling you into his chest as you tried to pull back.

“Calm down,” he grunted, holding you still as you let out an exasperated noise. “Breathe.”

You knew he wouldn’t let up, so you let your anger reduce to a simmer as you focused on breathing steadily.

“Good girl.”

His presence was comforting despite your anger and frustration towards him. He always made you feel safe.

“I thought you liked me,” you repeated in a quiet voice. You were staring at his chest, refusing to look at him.

“I do,” he said, his voice tight.

“No, I thought you liked me as more than a friend.”

Bucky pulled back, lifting two figures under your chin and forcing you to meet his eyes.

“Can we rewind?” His request was soft. “Tell me. What did that night mean to you?”

“Are you really going to make me do this?”

His silence spoke volumes.

You tried not to let your frustration get the better of you. “I really like you, Bucky. I’m not a girl who enjoys sex with no strings attached. Especially not with you. I mean, I enjoyed the sex -” you blushed violently, “- but I - I want more.” Your words were rushed and you stared at the empty spot above his head, wanting to die from embarrassment.

“More?” he promoted.

“A relationship,” you clarified. “I know that’s not what you want. And that’s fine. But if we could at least just go back to how we were, where you actually spoke to me and spent time with me, I would really like that. Because I miss you.”

Bucky looked perplexed as he released you, mouth opening wordlessly. Finally, he uttered, “I don’t want that.”

Searing pain burst inside you, and your face crumpled.

“No, no, no,” he said hurriedly as your vision blurred. “I mean - I don’t want to be friends, because I want to be together. I want a relationship.”

“With me?” you asked, confusion marring your face.

“With you.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” you said instantaneously. “Are you joking? This isn’t funny.”

“Would I joke about something like that?”

“You said you were bored,” you blurted. “You asked me if I was ‘okay with this’.” As you spoke, you realised how groundless your assumptions actually might be, but you refused to believe the alternative - that Bucky genuinely wanted to be with you.

Bucky threw his hands up in the air, looking defensive. “You said it was ‘just sex’! I never at any point told you that this was just fun for me.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted.”

Bucky dragged a hand over his face, sighing. “Okay, I think we may have had a breakdown in communication.”

“But I don’t get it,” you insisted. “Why would you want to be with me? I saw you with Natasha last night.”

“Dancing,” he said indignantly. “Just dancing.”

“You didn’t dance with me,” you shot back. “I - I only went to that dumb thing because I wanted you to ask me to dance.”

Bucky looked pained, biting down on his lower lip with regret. “I didn’t know.”

“I wanted to look nice for you,” you confessed quietly.

“You did. You were gorgeous.”

You laughed humourlessly. Bucky frowned.

“I’m being serious.”

“Sure.” You genuinely didn’t believe him.

“Stop that and look at me,” he said sharply.

His eyes were filled with both annoyance and affection, making you falter. You didn’t say anything when he sighed and stroked your hair.

“I wanted to tell you how beautiful you were. But I just couldn’t bear to be near you. I thought you just wanted something casual. And I don’t think I can handle that.”

“I can’t handle that either,” you confessed. “I really want to be with you, Bucky.”

Bucky beamed then upon hearing your words, relief washing over his face.

“Really?”

How could he ever doubt that? You smiled and nodded, but your smile was fragile and faded at the thought of Bucky and Natasha dancing last night. Even if there was nothing untoward happening, you still felt that he should be with someone as equally impressive as Natasha.

“Yes,” you confirmed. “I want to be with you, but at the same time, I don’t know why you would want to be with me.”

Bucky frowned. “Is it that hard to understand?”

You didn’t say anything, so Bucky continued, “I thought you knew how I felt. I’ve been making it pretty damn obvious these past few months.”

“I thought you were just being nice,” you mumbled. “I did think, sometimes, maybe you had feelings for me, but then I decided it just didn’t make sense.”

“Tell me why,” Bucky said gently.

You took a deep breath, knowing you could be vulnerable around him. “I’ve never felt that I was good enough for you. I feel so average, so normal. And you - well, you’re you. So outstanding in every way.”

Bucky shook his head, lifting a hand to cup your cheek. He smiled slightly when you blushed in response, skin flaming.

“Listen to me. Do you know how I view myself? I’m completely flawed, my morals are sometimes questionable, I’ve done terrible things -”

You were shaking your head vehemently in disagreement, and he smiled.

“See? You’re proving my point. We’re our own biggest critics. And maybe you don’t see how amazing you are, but I do. And I want you. I have pretty good taste, you know.” The way he looked at you made your self-doubt falter - he was observing you like you were so precious, the softness and tenderness in his face making your heart flutter.

You smiled then, Bucky taking a step closer, dipping his head to whisper against your lips.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life convincing you how brilliant you are, if that’s what it takes.”

[writing-in-glitter-pen]

Genshin Men With a Sweetheart Who is Stress-Eating

This one is kind of an intense topic, but I thought it would be a good comfort read for someone weathering this problem. You're not alone, you are completely normal, AND BEAUTIFUL! Our genshin boys are here to reassure you of that and give you all the love and support you deserve ♡

Diluc, Kaeya, Itto, Childe x gn!reader II comfort, romance

Content Warnings: Depictions of fear/anxiety/stress, descriptions of stress eating.

I am not a medical professional. Stress eating is not an eating disorder within itself, but can be a component of an eating disorder. It is not a healthy coping mechanism and can make stress worse as it generates feelings of guilt and shame. In this piece, I'm trying to remove the guilt and shame from the habit and bring comfort, not give official medical advice on ways to treat it. The alternatives I use are only tips I've researched in overcoming the compulsion. If you experience this habit, please tell a medical professional so that you can be given proper guidance on how to manage it!

♡sending love♡

Diluc would be concered at first. The first time he witnessed your habit, you were sitting at the bar during one of his busier shifts. You were agressively tapping your foot and your face was marred with a worried expression while bringing the cashews from the free bowl on the counter to your mouth in rapid succession. Something was clearly bothering you, but he was hesitant to pull the bowl away or interfere with your soothing by inserting himself. He wanted to let you know that he was there for you, that you could talk to him, that he would comfort you if you let him---but he wasn't sure it would help. So he discreetly watched you for the rest of the night (as he normally did, never able to take his eyes off of his beautiful partner), setting a bowl of clementines and a glass of water in front of you as well, touching the small of your back comfortingly as he did. You took your time peeling the clementines and finishing your glass of water, feeling better after slowing your actions down. He still gets worried about you when he sees you engaging in your habit, only because he wants to fix what is bothering you, though he knows it's not always within his power to do so. You were the most precious thing in his life—he would fight the entire world if it meant bringing you an ounce of solace. He knows the action soothes you, so he makes sure to put food that will support your body and make you feel good in front of you---a bowl of cherries or strawberries or grapes, pressing a sweet kiss to your head, your cheek, your mouth as he does. If you wanted a comfort food, that was an entirely different story--it would be in your hands immediately, but if just engaging in the action was soothing, the only way he knew to help would be to make sure you wouldn't get a stomachache and that your body felt its best.

Kaeya, like Diluc, would also be concerned. He would interfere, but not for any reason other than wanting to make sure you were ok. After he came home to you staring off into the distance with fear in your eyes as you shoved a spoon into a tray of apple pie over and over, he put his hand over yours, halting your action for a moment, asking, "is something the matter, love?". He wouldn't let you feel embarrassed ashamed for even a moment. He just wanted to understand what was compelling you to self-soothe this way. He would let you vent to him about whatever it was that was causing you such immense stress. If he could fix it, he would have you two come up with a plan of action to right it together. If you couldn't solve it that night, or it wasn't in his power to help you solve it, he would snuggle up next to you on the couch and ask for a spoonful himself. The compulsion just became dessert as you two shared it until you'd had enough. You enjoyed the treat together, because he would never let you sit with your troubles alone.

Itto would take a while to notice. He just thought you liked food as much as he did. He wasn't the most observant guy, so he wouldn't immediately clock the stress weighing on your features. He'd see you tucking into a big bowl of ramen noodles and he, the perpetually hungry oni he is, would only think to ask for a bite. Then another. Then another. Until you were both fighting to slurp down the soup. If he saw you compulsively eating, he'd just assume you were hungry and take you to get something better to eat or make you something better to eat himself. Have you ever tried this guy's yakisoba? Of course you have. It's delicious. After he caught on, he didn't stop his process of making/getting you food that would actually comfort and fill you instead of letting you eat whatever was in front of you. He discovered that, even though he didn't know it at the time, he was supporting you by having you in the kitchen with him or sitting beside him at a ramen stand whenever you were in these episodes of pain. That just being near you and diverting your attention to food you actually wanted was the best way he could support you. After you decided you were done with the Yakisoba, he'd hug you around the waist with one hand and pick your plate up with the other, kissing the top of your head and saying, "My pretty sweetheart with an oni's appetite. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect partner!".

Childe knew what stress-eating was before you showed signs of it...because he stress eats too. He noticed it in himself after he had joined the Fatui; the anxiety of his family's well being hanging in the balance, the grueling hours he had to put in, the insecurity and misdirected anger, all showed up in the need to consume. His heart ached when he noticed you doing it--he empathized with the pain in your chest and disruption in your stomach. He wasn't going to make you do anything you didn't want to do, but he would offer to take you on a run or ask you to spar with him when he noticed you engaging in the habit. What worked for him was to get his blood pumping and stimulate himself in a different activity, instead of sitting with the stress he needed to compulsively soothe. After he wore you out, he would give you a space to talk about whatever was going on that was causing you to engage while he held you close. He would assure you that you are loved, that many people, even him, developed this habit, you aren't alone in your plight, and that you had absolutely nothing you needed to be ashamed about. This was a normal compulsion you experienced in response to a situation where you were suffering. All he cared about was making sure the scource of the stress was disposed of, so you wouldn't be in pain any longer.

[daytaker]

Can I request a fic where MC is sort of a pathological liar? and they lie about stuff that ultimately doesn't matter, but they can't help it? Also, if it could be Mammon x mc centric that would be amazing, but it doesn't have to be. I love your writing!! bye bye

POV: You are cldhart08. You forgot you sent this to me. Two full months later, you get a notification that daytaker replied to your ask.

Pants on Fire

Ships: (Lowkey) Mammon/Reader, Beel & Reader Word Count: ~1.1k CW: lying (general), lying about medical conditions, bullying Mammon

So you're a bit of a liar.

"I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. I wasn't breathing or anything, and my dad actually fainted.

...Or a lot of a liar.

"Did you know my second cousin actually dated Selena Gomez for awhile?"

One might even go so far as to call your lying 'pathological'.

"I actually have a severe tree nut allergy, so I'll pass on that. Thanks though."

There was never any logic to it. The lies just came out. You never felt guilty about it, because no one got hurt. So there wasn't really anything to worry about, right?

Wrong.

You sit on the floor outside of Mammon's room, hugging your knees, when a big, hulking form slumps down the wall onto the floor beside you.

"Oh... Hey, Beel," you say. You're not even trying to pretend as if nothing's wrong.

"Hello." He looks at Mammon's door, then at you. "Did you knock?"

You sigh, then demonstrate to Beel what happens when you knock on Mammon's door. A muffled voice comes from inside.

"Who is it?"

"It's me," you reply.

"I already told you! If you're a scummy, lyin' human, you can go eat nuts for all I care! I'm never talkin' to you again so you might as well stop wastin' both our times!"

"He's talking to you now," Beel points out, and it's hard to argue with his logic.

"Who the hell was that? Beel? Fine, then I'll only talk to you to tell you to fluff off, how's that?"

You rub your eyes tiredly and Beel leans in a little, speaking lower so Mammon can't hear him. "If you just leave, he'll come looking for you in about ten or twenty minutes."

"If I leave, he's going to think I'm not sorry." Hugging your knees, you shake your head. "I am sorry."

"Is this about the thing at the student council meeting and the nuts?"

You shudder at the memory.

----

You hadn't even thought about it at the time.

You never particularly liked nuts. Almonds, cashews, walnuts, chestnuts... not even peanuts outside their butter form. So when Mammon asked you why you declined to try a rather nut-heavy dish prepared by Barbatos himself, you simply told him you were allergic. "If I even get a whiff of them, my body goes into anaphylactic shock."

"What the hell's that?"

"Basically, my immune system goes haywire, and if I don't get the right kind of shot in the first few minutes, I'm a goner."

At the time, Mammon had seemed impressed by how close you skated to death, risking your life by casually allowing tree nuts to continue existing around you. And you? You'd enjoyed the brief attention.

At the time.

-----

That was weeks ago, so it was far from your mind as you accepted some human world trail mix from Beel while you sat, bored out of your wits, through another student council meeting. You picked out most of the nuts, of course, but in the end, you swallowed the imperfectly sorted handful.

And Mammon lost it.

"THERE WERE NUTS IN THAT!"

Diavolo, who had been in the middle of speaking, stuttered to a halt as everyone looked over to Mammon, who was simultaneously cradling you and screaming obscenities at an utterly bewildered Beelzebub. In the moment, you'd sort of frozen up and said nothing. Mammon...

Mammon was crying.

He was crying and yelling ridiculous instructions to everyone in the room and getting extremely angry when the others didn't seem to see what the issue was.

"They're gonna go into analgesic shock and die if we don't do somethin' fast! Do none of you bird brains get that?!"

He begged you to tell him how to get that shot you needed, that... what was it, an Apple Pen?

...It was several minutes before you were able to get the truth out.

Force the truth out, more like. Telling that truth made you almost wish you really had gone into anaphylactic shock. That seemed like an easier way to go than looking Mammon in the eye, in front of all his brothers and Diavolo, and explain that you didn't actually have that allergy. That you'd lied.

And of course, of course, the onus fell on Mammon for believing it.

Satan and Asmo sighed at how someone so stupid could function. Levi posted on Devilgram about how you'd epically trolled Mammon. Lucifer scolded Mammon for his overreaction, and Belphie just glowered at Mammon for waking him up with all his shrieking.

And you, you sort of...said nothing.

-----

"Ah," Beel says, nodding. "You feel bad that you made him look stupid."

"No," you groaned, frustrated at your inability to articulate exactly what it was that felt so off. "It's... He really thought I was going to die. I scared him. And then everyone treated him like a gullible idiot. So...I guess I made him look stupid, but..."

Beel stares at you. His expression is blank, but in a soft sort of way. It's oddly comforting.

"He got made into a laughing stock because I told him a lie, and he reacted to it....the way someone would react if they thought someone they really cared about was in danger. I feel guilty for lying and worrying him, and I feel worse that I just let everyone tear into him like always, when all he did was try to take care of me."

The door you're leaning against swings open behind you and you fall flat on your back in Mammon's doorway. The demon stares down at you with a mixture of righteous contempt and a flustered embarrassment that was so painfully typical of Mammon.

"Yeah! And you should feel guilty! You're a real asshole, ya know that?"

You blink up at him and offer a weak smile. "...Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

Mammon folds his arms. "You really think you can just come snivelin' up to me and beg for forgiveness, and I'll just hand it to ya?"

Beel looks between you and Mammon, watching the conversation unfold with the same mild interest he'd show while staring at a somewhat unimpressive exhibit at the zoo.

"...Well, today just so happens to be your lucky day," Mammon continues. "The Great Mammon, the big guy himself, has decided to forgive your tiny mortal soul for bein' a total jackass and liar. You're welcome. Don't expect it to happen again."

Still lying on your back, you grin at Mammon. "Thanks, Great Mammon."

The demon clears his throat and looks away. "Anyway. Our turn to make dinner tonight, so..." With that, he walked right past you and darted down the stairs.

Typical Mammon.

[cherr-22]

TNGDH 34

“For this reconnaissance, we will investigate further. With the new demonic beast’s appearance recently, we must be more careful.”

“Yes sir!”

The knights answered in unison. It was so loud that even I, who was leisurely enjoying a sunbathing session while lying on the sawdust, could hear it.

‘Already another reconnaissance.’

It has been about a month since the previous one.

―Squeak squeak. Squeak. (But why hasn’t he told me about going on this one?)

I rubbed my stomach after stuffing myself with the almond, macadamia, and strawberry that Kyle had brought. I must’ve gained more weight, because it was getting harder to breathe. Just a little bit.

Anyways, it would be a good idea to follow along this time too. If another accident occurs, it’d be good if I were there.

I crawled to a corner and just when I was about to use ‘Summon’―.

“Wait a moment.”

Kyle opened the door and came into the study.

I took back my hand from the system window and slid back to the center of the hamster house.

“Cashew.”

Kyle’s soft voice called for me. I pretended I wasn’t doing anything and made a gesture that said, “You’re here?”.

Then he lifted me up and naturally started kissing me.

―Squeak……. (Alright…….)

Of course. If he didn't do this, he wouldn’t be Kyle Blake.

I received his kiss and waved my hand in goodbye. Hurry up and leave.

Kyle only left after glancing back at me twice at the study door. I quickly used ‘Summon’ and wore my clothes.

Really! At this point, shouldn’t I be able to automatically wear clothes? This is so inefficient!

[(´。＿。｀)]

……I’m not saying it’s your fault. It’s not like we could do anything about it. I’m just complaining out loud…

I comforted the sullen system and walked down the hallway at a brisk pace. I diligently headed out of the castle, greeting the workers carrying laundry baskets and brooms along the way.

When I pushed the tightly closed door, a light so bright that it hurt my eyes poured in. I stepped outside, feeling the cool air surrounding me.

Now, Kyle. Take me with you. Look at this perfect timing I appear before you when you need me.

“Your Highness! ……Huh?”

I looked at the empty field in front of the castle with a dumbfounded face.

He’s not here.

There’s nothing here. Even though this is the front gate?  Surely they would’ve reorganized their ranks here before going up the mountain?

I hurriedly searched the surrounding area. The flower beds, bushes, pillars… I looked closely everywhere, but I couldn’t find a single one of his familiar footprints.

“Just where exactly did you go!”

I shouted at the sky in frustration and a passing worker flinched.

“H-his Highness Kyle went to the back gate.”

“Yes?”

“He said someone fearless may try to follow him…….”

I stood in place with a dumbfounded expression. The employee, seeing my reaction, quickly bowed his head and disappeared.

Then, does this mean…….

“He’s avoiding me?”

I went back into the castle and thought for a while. There weren’t any other demonic beast specialists within the castle so why would he go without me?

No, I knew why even without having to think. It was because I fell off the cliff last time.

It must’ve been a shock to see the person he promised to protect to fall into danger right before his eyes. What if it happens again? Would I be able to grab onto him properly this time? I could imagine him worrying about it all night long.

Still.

“It’s only right to keep the person you want to protect by your side.”

As I trudged down the hallway, I felt an inexplicable sense of loneliness. I must’ve gotten used to spending my time with Kyle.

I wandered around for a while before arriving at the kitchen to eat two freshly made sandwiches, scones, and cookies with black tea and then returned to my room to cancel ‘Summon’.

―Squeak. (Sigh.)

I laid down and stared at the dark ceiling of the study room.

There was no time to get lost in sentiment. I spent the entire day walking around and thinking about Kyle, but my heart felt heavier than it did before.

‘……Why do I feel so heavy?’

I grunted as I turned over. However, I couldn’t get up. I was only able to stand after grasping the floor with my paws.

―Squeak squeak. (……Just how much weight did I gain?)

Now, I could no longer deny it. At this rate, I may become an obese hamster and would have to survive on just chicory and lettuce.

I suddenly felt a sense of crisis and started walking on the hamster wheel. And here I thought I’d never have to ride this horrendous thing again!

Alright. Let’s do some morning dieting.

To the point where Kyle will be so surprised upon seeing me again.

*

Reconnaissance usually takes about four to five days. They said they would go further this time, so it should take about a week. Today was the first day of the week.

During this time, I was quite busy as both a human and a hamster.

During my time as a hamster, I worked on my squishy belly by running on the hamster wheel, and when I was human, I helped around.

Mass production of the quilted clothes have begun, because they thought it would be good to distribute them to the residents of the territory. The remaining knights in the castle also spent their days hunting.

I, of course, helped with sewing and teaching the kitchen staff various other healthy recipes. The most delicious recipe was the one made with the fish beast.

There was a pond to the south of the castle that was frozen all year long, so people often went ice fishing and hunting there.

They would gather together and light a bonfire to have a feast.

The grilled fish grilled with an even coat of spice and sauce…… it was tastier than any other seafood I’ve eaten.

As a result, the people greatly enjoyed the fish. And best of all, the fish would break through the ice on their own if there were a lot of them.

Anyways, it was hectic and busy. Thanks to that, my Miracle Value went up to 24 percent. It was a huge increase despite Kyle not being here.

In other words.

‘The people here has accepted me.’

Although, I did benefit a bit from the ‘passive effect’ of gaining favor with the Northerners.

When I walk across the hallways in the castle, the workers greet me and the knights sometimes look for me with monsters they caught in their hands. When I go to the kitchen, I’m gifted with freshly baked bread and some cookies. Yesterday, I even received the tart that the youngest worker of the castle baked.

‘……But we are still a little awkward with each other.’

It was definitely not a bad feeling though.

I cleared my throat and glanced at the clock. It was ticking just past noon.

―Squeak squeak. Squeak squeak squeak. (Kyle, just when exactly is he going to come back? The weather is fine so he should be back pretty soon.)

While mumbling to myself, the system window blinked.

[(❤´艸｀❤)]

That’s not it. Don’t look at me like I’m a wife waiting for their husband to return home. We’re not in that sort of relationship.

I kicked the system window and it flashed again on the opposite side of me.

‘Ha?’

I frantically kicked hard at the moving system window. I was so absorbed that I didn’t even hear the study door open.

“So you also knew how to dance.”

A soft voice came from above my head.

I paused and turned my head up. Kyle was looking down at me with a very disheveled appearance.

“Sorry for being gone for so long. I rushed back, because I was worried about you, but it seems like I could’ve washed up first. I can’t hold you with my hands dirty like this.”

Kyle mumbled while holding his hands caked in dirt and blood. My eyes naturally went to his hands.

―Squeeeak! (Hey! What’s with your hands!)

I stuck myself to the transparent wall and squeaked towards Kyle.

Kyle must’ve thought I was glad to see him after a long time, so he looked at me sweetly and left the study, saying that he would come back soon.

I pounded my chest in frustration and used ‘Summon’.

It’s a good thing I didn’t use it earlier in the day today. How could I hold in after seeing him like that? I must take a closer look myself to see if the body I cherish has any injuries.

“I think right now is good.”

I hung around in front of Kyle’s room for a while before knocking the door. Then, I heard a voice from inside telling me to come in.

“Shu?”

Upon opening the door, I saw Kyle with a robe draped over his shoulders, drying his hair with a towel.

I quickly scanned him from head to toe. No injuries on his arms. Not a single scratch on his chest. He just looked a bit messy.

I sighed in relief and walked over to him.

“It took you a while this time.”

“I thought it would be good to go the longer route after encountering the new demonic beast before.”

“You didn’t tell me to go together this time.”

“There is no need for you to accompany me on every reconnaissance. Besides, didn’t you say you were busy?”

I crossed my arms and puffed. You could hide all you want, but I know you better than yourself.

“Not because you are afraid I might die?”

“…….”

Kyle stared at me silently. It seems I got it right.

I reached out and gently grabbed both ends of the towel covering Kyle’s head to help dry his hair. He obediently lowered his head to narrow the distance between me and him.

“Teach me how to use the bow tomorrow. I learn quickly, so it’ll be worthwhile for you to teach me.”

“…….”

Kyle’s brows narrowed, and then he relaxed with a short sigh.

As if he missed me for the week he was gone, he wrapped my waist with his strong arms and pulled me in. I entrusted myself to him. With his familiar body scent reaching the tip of my nose, I felt at ease.

I let go of the towel and placed my arms around his neck. I smiled as I heard him saying that he would teach me and that he’s glad to be back home.

--------------------------------------------------------

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

[qiutls]

TNGDH 011

'Ack, my whole body is aching...'

I can't count how many days I've been working out in this supposed no exercise life of mine.

As if that wasn't enough for the muscles of my body to scream out of pain, the uncomfortable cohabitation with mealworms lasted all night and I had no choice but to sleep at the top of the slide which was a tight fit for me.

How can someone sleep with a bug by their bedside. I can't do it. I mean, I'm a cowardly urban type of person who can't even farm because of insects.

I really can't live like this. This is unfair, I want to run away from home. That's it, I'm leaving the house!

"I prepared a different special meal for you today, Cashew Nut."

Just as I've made up my mind, Kyle came into the study to collect the bugs at the corner of the house.

"Sen said this raw food might not be to your taste. It's my fault."

― Eek! [ That's right, you were wrong. ]

"This morning I prepared dried pollack, and later in the evening I'll let you have some beef. There's plenty of meat because it's festival season. Tomorrow, should I bring you some chicken?"

'... Maybe I should think about running away twice.'

Hmm. That's right put your whole heart into it, since you're set in taking care of me anyways.

Kyle's face lit up noticeably as I came down the slide and looked up at him. He quickly put a piece of dried pollack in my hand and took the water bowl I spilled and filled it with clean water.

I nibbled away at the dried pollack. It seems it wasn't seasoned at all since he was planning on giving it to me, so it tasted a little bland, but it was worth eating. To be honest, this is a blessing considering the past few meals he tried to make me eat.

'It should've been like this in the first place.'

If I had no choice but to eat the bugs... Ah my poor life.

I choked and drummed my fist on my chest, then Kyle placed the water bowl beside me.

"The castle's atmosphere has been unsettling recently. Although you'll only be staying here and there's really nothing to worry about, just in case that pervert who confessed comes back..."

― Squeak!

I suddenly choked drinking the water and it almost went through my nose.

'W-what? The p-pervert who confessed?!'

Isn't that me? No, but which crazy bastard made that as my nickname?

"But don't worry, Cashew Nut, you have nothing to worry about, I've placed a guard in front of the study."

Of course, I have nothing to worry about, because that pervert is actually me...

When I shook my head, Kyle lifted me up and made a face as if he was dying because of my cuteness, then proceeded to shower me with kisses.

Hey, stop! Why do you care about kissing me more than giving me food. Do your men know you live like this, huh? 

You said you were the Duke of the North. You said you were the strongest knight in Minehardt, and that you don't have tears nor blood. You're supposed to be the greatest leader of this barren wasteland. But you're just a damn hamster otaku!

"Your Highness."

Someone knocked on the door and Kyle put me back inside the house in the speed of light, and pretended nothing was amiss.

He spoke with a stern look, as if he was a completely different person.

"Come on in."

Wah, are you really the same person just now.

I can't get used to it, no matter how many times I see it. He completely turned his back from my gaze and received a report from the knight.

The second prince, Belial Serena Minehardt, was about to arrive at the estate.

*his name is Serena too... I thought only empresses could have that name bc the book said so, maybe the second name of the characters are their mom's name, since Kyle's second name was Jane?*

The report was so meticulous that it seemed unusual, the knight reported everything from the welcome procession, the location of all decorations, the route from the entrance of the castle to the dining area, down to the menu and ingredients.

It sounded like an irregular audit just by listening to the contents, Kyle's serious expression shows just how much importance was given to make this perfect.

'I knew you weren't on good terms with the royal family, and I even heard the servants talk about it while I was human... Just how serious is it?'

If you look at his expression now, you would think Kyle was fighting against demonic beasts.

"I should leave now."

Kyle glanced back at me. His eyes filled with lingering feelings.

I don't know if he just likes to hide his gentle feelings, or if he's only gentle to me. Or maybe he's only sweet towards animals, well there's no harm in it...

"Goodbye, Cashew Nut."

I held out my hand instead of answering. Give me one more dried pollack before you go.

"It's not good for you if you eat a lot, hmm?"

He whispered.

'... Okay...'

I decided to lie down on my back and just imagine the food I wanted to eat.

A hamburger with three patties, hot pot, shrimp meatballs, a T-bone steak bigger than my face, two pieces of pork belly on top of a lettuce. Herring sashimi during autumn, yellowtail sashimi in winter and for spring...

As I lay down and rolled around after finishing the rest of the dried pollack, an idea suddenly came to mind.

'Come to think of it, why did Kyle have a bad relationship with the royal family? Although it's not a loss on his side, he's still a son of the previous emperor, what could've happened?'

Indeed, there are stories that you can't hear without shedding tears. You're supposed to be a prince living luxuriously, yet right now, you're acting as a duke in this barren land.

Kyle Jane Minehardt was not a very important character in the original. Moreover, he died quickly, so his past story was not treated as important.

System, do you know what he wants to achieve?  If I can lend a hand, then maybe the future might change.

[ Kyle's only wish is revenge. ]

'He also wants revenge?'

There are so many dreamers of revenge here and there.

It's probably because of his origin that he opposes the royal family. His biological mother was not accepted as a royal family member and lead to her taking her life in misery.

But that didn't make Belial and Kyle's relationship bad from the beginning. Maybe as he grew up, he started to despise Kyle.

The North was in danger, even though no one was actively trying to crush it, still it was good to reduce the possibilities of this happening, hence Kyle's meticulousness.

But despite Kyle's efforts to maintain peace in the North, Belial succeeded in his plan and found an excuse for the imperial family to pressure the North.

Just in time, the system showed the current situation as it happened in the original.

[ "Kyle Jane Minehardt, decorated an assault under the guise of a festival. There was proof that the chandelier fell on top of the Second Prince, Belial Serena Minehardt, at the banquet on the last day of the festival! In response, the Duke of Klein labels Kyle as an enemy of the imperial family and declares that he will confront everyone under the Blake's estate." ]

'That's it, this chandelier incident!'

On the last day of the festival, Belial's accident led to declare his maternal family's hostility towards the Blake estate.

And if it really happened, there's a possibility that Serena and Belial would first meet here. Sen might've been appointed to treat Belial's injury and they might have found out they shared the same goal.

If Belial, and his maternal family, the Duke of Klein, join forces together to antagonize Kyle, the North will be more isolated than it is now. That probably was the major cause of Kyle's death.

So, we need to stop this situation from happening.

'Since the banquet will happen on the last day...'

​There's a simple way to stop it, whatever I need to do, I just need to delay Belial's appearance so he can't appear during the banquet.

'What should I do...'

Should I meet Belial, first? I need to figure out how he looks like. I also have to think about how to persuade him not to attend the banquet. If it doesn't work out, then just hit him at a weak point.

It was time to remove the sawdust stuck in my front paws after a long day of thinking.

"Why do you keep soldiers by the door?"

An unfamiliar voice sounded outside the study.

It was a soft and gentle voice that was close to a whisper. Soon the door opened, and Kyle brought the guest inside as he answered.

​"I told you I strengthened the security because of a small matter."

He used a tone often use here in the study, a tone that made my nerves feel taut. The man behind Kyle laughed quietly.

"It seems even the Grand Duke's study encounters such unexpected changes."

​Is he telling Kyle that he can't even manage one of his rooms? A cold smile appeared on Kyle's face for a second and then it quickly disappeared. I stepped out of my hiding place and climbed to the side of the wheel on the top floor to look at them. Then, I finally saw the man sitting across Kyle.

[ Belial Serena Minehardt. ]

As expected, it was Belial.

Golden hair that shone like honey, bright green eyes, a lively yet gentle appearance. His eyes pointing downwards making him look like a gentle sheep and a polite smile adorned his face...

If I were to manifest a prince from a fairytale, I think it would look exactly like him. What am I saying, of course it would look like him, he's a real prince.

"Other than that, I heard you started to raise a strange beast in your study?"

Ah. That strange beast would be me.

As I chewed on the walnut I brought up to the top floor, I saw Kyle's eyebrows twitch. H-hey! Don't react!

"It's a magical beast cub that I saved from the eastern forest, it's none of your business."

"I heard demonic beasts eat people when they grow up. It is very courageous of the Grand Duke to raise such a beast."

Belial smiled at Kyle with his eyes closed, while he (Kyle) just stared at him expressionless.

There seemed to be an invisible spark between the two. The festival is just starting, so why are you two like this already. Let's get along, okay?

"Do you have any other plans regarding that beast?"

*Belial kept hinting Kyle will use the hamster to kill people in the future...*

...Ahhhh! I really can't stop you two huh?

"You cannot take back words once spoken, Prince Belial."

"Shouldn't you begin by saying no, Grand Duke?"

It was an obvious provocation. And it was a bad one, as it insinuates Kyle would like to commit treason.

But look at me, could you not say those kinds of words. When I grow up, I'll attack the imperial city? Am I not the size of half a palm? I'm only getting angry because you're spouting nonsense.

But Kyle seemed to be in a different situation. The cold air felt like it froze. I looked at them, rubbing my arms with my front paws.

'Hey... Don't tell me.'

You're not pulling out the sword are you? Be tolerable, don't commit murder. Just hang in there. Breathe.

"Don't suddenly throw a punch Kyle. You'll look as vulgar as your mother."

Kyle's hand crawled to the sword.

No! Don't kill him! Of course, I think he's a crazy bastard that shouldn't be forgiven for swearing at your mother, but still! Killing is not...

I didn't have much time to think about what to do in the situation. I jumped from the top floor and my body rolled down the slide.  Thump. Clack. Thump.

At the sudden sound, both of them were stunned and turned to look at me. 

".... Cashew Nut?"

Kyle was shocked and approached me quickly, when I didn't answer he shouted at the knight guarding the door.

"Take the prince to his chamber and bring a doctor quickly!"

The knight responded to the orders urgently. Then there was a creak as the door opened and someone stepped into the study.

It was Sen, who came to bring me snacks.

"..... Your Highness?"

"Sen, please lead the prince to his chamber."

Kyle said as he pulled me out of the hamster house. Sen took a second to assess the situation, then nodded and walked out of the study with Belial.

The noisy study quickly became silent, and I could feel Kyle's anxious gaze on me.

​'It should be fine now, right?'

It was an acting masterpiece that will go down in history.

[ ó﹏ò ]

Why! What! Look at how everyone was deceived. If this is not a masterpiece, then what is?

I moved my body as if I had just woken up, and Kyle sighed in relief. He put me closer to his face and asked in a gentle voice if I was okay.

As expected, I like this side of him more than him pretending to be indifferent.

*earlier in the chap, Kyle was pretending to be indifferent towards Soohyun when a knight/attendant was reporting the festival preparations*

novel ⠀✿⠀ next

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Despicable" - yan!Bruce Wayne x Reader

A/N: currently reviewing my book to send it out AGAIN because apparently, I can't let go

🫀REQUESTS ARE OPEN🫀 || Batman-inspired playlist

SUMMARY: While Seline is Bruce's eyes at 44 Below, he spots someone absolutely showstopping. Unfortunately, you're Joker's girl. Bruce is determined to save you from that despicable criminal.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.2k

[TW: yandere themes, explicit language]

Part of Bruce was glad he didn't step foot inside 44 Below. Judging from what Seline was showing him, it was nothing more but a relatively glorified dive bar. It seemed as if corruption could be the sweetest fruit if one simply made it look out of reach or in some way special. It was the pinnacle of human pride and greed to always desire the unattainable.

Despite the supposed prestige of the underground club, he could hardly notice anything out of the ordinary when compared to any other bar one could find in Gotham: young women in skimpy clothing and old, rich men who salivated over them. Drugs. Alcohol. Smuggling. Trafficking. The only visible difference was very superficial - their clothes and jewellery were significantly more expensive. Aside from that one easy-to-overlook detail, 44 Below was exquisite in its lack of exceptionalism.

The swarm of people seemed to be unending. Although the lower level was supposed to be more deluxe, more selective, there was about the same amount of people as on the upper level. Seline was walking through crowds of personalities too important or powerful to want their attention on her. Turning her head in all directions possible, she had nearly given herself whiplash when her stare merely glazed over a figure so brilliant they could hardly be perceived as real; an after-image of a fabulous fantasy:

"Wait, turn around. That woman in a green dress by the bar. Who is she?"

"Fuck no, Bruce," she hissed back at him as she continued marching on. "You know a guy who goes by 'Joker'? The psychopathic mass murderer? That's his girl."

"Look at her," he demanded again. "I need time to scan her face. What do you know about her?" It was a generous half-truth: while he did need time to perform scans, he didn't need yours specifically.

Seline let out a heavy sigh. Reluctantly, she directed her eyes towards you - leaning against a bar, drinking an Old Fashioned, and nibbling on honey-coated roasted cashews. Needless to say, you were completely oblivious to the attention you were getting at the moment. If you could have your way, you wouldn't have been there - 44 Below was an over-glorified workplace for you, waiting for someone who might need a little favour they're willing to repay for.

Bruce's thoughts were running rampant but they lacked coherence. There was a strange feeling in his chest - one he couldn't quite name but it was completely overwhelming and it forced his attention to focus on you. His eyes were eating up your image, his insatiable hunger only grew as he stared at you. The longer he admired your aloof demeanour, the more he was unable to find any flaw in your appearance. It seemed like something taken out of a cliche movie: a diamond found among the filth. How could you have ended up with some lunatic?

You were leaning against the bar counter, bored out of your mind as if you were waiting for someone to show up and get you away from that disgusting place you never quite fit into in the first place. He could be that someone... He wanted to be.

"Ever since Joker got locked up, she's taking care of the business. The whole operation went deep underground and now even the unimportant people wear designer clothes."

"How do you know all that?"

"Penguin's her fan." Seline seemed to not have noticed the lack of emotions in his tone. Bruce wasn't very interested in the criminal part of your life - it will all be left in the past soon enough. "Oh, shit, she noticed me."

Bruce's heart jumped in his chest as if there actually was something that could frighten that man or take him by surprise. Staring at the screen, he met your warm gaze. Words became stuck in his throat, completely awestruck, although you weren't even looking at him per se - you didn't even know about his presence. And he realized he knew no greater frustration.

"Hey, Seline, how are things going on?" you asked. The cheerfulness of your voice seemed genuine. "Haven't seen you working 'round here before."

Dear God, how he began yearning the moment he heard your voice. What darkness and bliss would it bring him to hear you speak his name?

"I'm doing some overtime."

To Bruce's utmost pleasure, you leaned towards Seline. Your face was the only thing on his screen and he truly wished it could stay like that.

"The offer still stands," you whispered. Your eyebrows raised slightly and your eyes had that soft gloss over them. "Give me a call and you'll make a better dollar in better circumstances."

"What offer?" Bruce inquired but Seline ignored him.

"Thank you but I'm still not interested. I'm good."

She promptly turned around and began walking away, her eyes shying away from the bullyboys you brought with you. Rumour had it they didn't need much to happily get involved.

"What offer, Seline?" Bruce repeated. He sounded impatient.

"None of your business," she spat out as she entered the bathroom.

His eyes became bloodshot and dry from staring at the computer for so long. He knew not how many hours had passed and, to be frank, did not care. Nirvana was playing in the background but he barely registered the sounds. None of his attention could be diverted from the picture of your face. Bruce knew perfectly well what he had to do, it was the question of how that kept him up until the early hours of the morning.

The obsessive thoughts inside Bruce's head were too loud to let him hear Alfred come in. "Who's that?"

"Someone important," he answered quietly. For a moment he felt angry that someone else was looking at you but he quickly dismissed that thought as he did with most of his emotions.

It was true but not in the way Alfred understood. Perhaps, Bruce himself did not yet understand the nature of your importance. It was as if he was frantically evacuating and kept asking other people what was going on; smoke was burning his eyes but he did not know the source of the fire.

Seeing as Wayne was even less talkative than normally, Alfred silently left him to continue doing whatever it was that he was doing. Sometimes he got tired of nagging at a grown man.

As it was mentioned before, Bruce knew what he had to do - it was a fact, not a thesis that had to be proved. He was going to save you from that animal you lied to yourself you loved. Bruce had a habit of subduing his feelings, therefore he told himself that it was simply his duty to return your independence to you, completely ignoring the overwhelming yearning that burned throughout his body. He made up his mind that he was going to save you from the filth you'd been stained with, no matter whether you wanted it too. Bruce had seen evil and he was convinced he knew what was best for you.

Oh but Cupid could be a truly despicable beast.

[boxboxlewis]

Okay not sure you will like this pairing but Max/Lewis or 4433 🔀

If you hate this ship then consider Charlos please? 🙏🏼 Thanks and sorry

Courage, Villagers

Day 1

It’s Lewis and Max in the Milton Keynes Costco against the world.

Lewis probably would’ve picked, like. Anyone else, to be honest. But everyone else is gone, and now it’s just him and Max, racing around checking the perimeter of the Costco, making sure all the doorways are sealed.

They get the last one done—a fire door in the employee break room; they wedge several titanium kayak paddles through the push bar—and Max wipes the sweat from his forehead and says “That is pretty secure now, I think.”

As if in answer, there’s a meaty thunk against the exterior of the door, and then a sliding sound and a long groan from somewhere near the ground.

The door holds. Lewis and Max each let out a long breath.

“Look, man, I’m gonna crash,” Lewis says. “It’s 3am, I’m knackered.”

Max nods. He’s got his pinched press-conference face on. “Me too. I thought I would go to the garden furniture section, there is a big sofa there I saw.”

Typical. Lewis had his eye on that sofa. “Yeah, whatever,” he says. “Night.” He ends up in a water-free jacuzzi, which he fills with a bunch of feather pillows. His dreams are uneasy.

Day 2

They’ve figured out how to work the pizza ovens. Max is tucking into a slice of oozy, gooey pizza, while Lewis has: some nuts and dried fruit, and a granola bar.

To distract himself, he asks “How long do you reckon electricity lasts, after everyone is like. Dead or a zombie.”

Max looks at him, wide-eyed. His lips are greasy with cheese. “That is a good question,” he says. He gets his phone out and types something. “A few days at least,” he says through a mouthful of pizza. “Maybe weeks.” He keeps reading. “Actually I think none of these people know what they’re talking about, they are all just story writers.”

Great. Lewis eats another cashew.

Day 4

They invent Formula Trolley. The racetrack is the aisle that traverses the length of the shop, and there’s only one rule: get to the finish line with your trolley as fast as you can. Winner gets three points, and there’s a bonus point for Longest Coast.

“And through… comes… Hamilton!” Lewis crows, zooming along on his trolley. He wins, with metres to spare.

“Stewards!” Max calls. They’re both laughing, breathless. “Penalty! Driver 44 interfered with his trolley under parc fermé conditions.”

Lewis’s stomach actually hurts from laughing. It’s probably some kind of trauma response to the fact that they’re in a zombie apocalypse. He’s laughing so, so hard.

“Lewis?” Max is saying. “Lewis, are you…” He pats ineffectually at Lewis’s back. “It is ok,” he says. There’s a pause. “Actually it is not ok, everything is shit and we are probably doomed. I can—do you want me to get you one of those vegan chocolates?”

Day 9

The electricity goes out. 

It’s unnerving, being in the echoey bowels of the store with no light and no sound. The background hum of the industrial chillers is startling, now that it’s gone. 

They make a plan: the next morning at first light they’ll go out to reconnoitre the surrounding area and see if they can find any other survivors. And then they’ll… go from there. 

It’s admittedly not much of a plan, but it’s the best they’ve got.

They fill hiking backpacks with supplies: food, bottled water, camping blankets. They make weapons. Lewis ties a vicious-looking barbecue fork to the end of a curtain rod. Max makes a kind of flail out of a heavy stone garden gnome and some chain. They’re as ready as they’ll ever be.

Max hesitates, before he retires to the garden furniture section for the night. “Do you,” he says. He looks at Lewis, face unreadable. “It is our last night, and we might—we do not know how tomorrow is going to go, so. Do you want…?”

Lewis, somewhat to his surprise, does.

[barrenclan]

Given that you’re a fan of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, do you have any ideas for a song/songs that would fit any character/s?

OH BOY! Absolutely! :D Here's a few;

"You Stupid Bitch" is obviously a perfect Slugpelt song; that kind of self-deprecation, especially the kind of sardonic hatred that it personifies. With the lyrics about Josh I can also imagine it taking place directly post-Cashew abandoning her.

"You ruined everything You stupid bitch You ruined everything You stupid, stupid bitch"

"Yes, Josh completes me, but how can that be When there's no me left to complete"

Hilariously, I can kinda imagine "After Everything I've Done For You" as a Ranger to Rainhaze song? Although not all of the lyrics fit I really like the tone of Ranger singing 'how dare you be so ungrateful, for me ruining your life'. It'd also pretty Dustfeather pretty well.

"After everything I've done for you (That I didn't ask for) Do you have any idea The work you're undoing?"

"What's that look on your face? You're horrified You think I'm a monster For doing your dirty work You think love is stainless and pure But beneath all the fantasy There's filth and there's gore"

And then as a complete joke how about "Let's Have Intercourse" with Deepdark. What a charmer! He's so early-season Nathanielcore.

I'm not adding lyrics... just listen to the song.

Yes, The Nowhere King is already on the PATFW playlist!

I do appreciate a good FNAF song, especially since Pizzaria is my second favorite game. (SL is first.) Hm, this one is interesting! I can see it fitting Rainhaze pretty well...

"It's a bright new day, and it's your time to shine Time to take your career into your own hands Spend all your money and the stars, they will align"

"Wait, I hear voices on every side And I wonder where And I wonder why Where do they hide?"

"I'm sorry, you've been misinformed This is just a never-ending labyrinth and nothing more Endless circles of fear Chasing cries of children that seem so near Out of reach, you will never find them Don't you see? This is where your story ends"

I can see it!

"Can't pick them out Can't press them in I'll never hide my scars"

"One unsheathed knife must glint In an alternate timeline's light One rust-ridden blade juts out Of a friendly moonstruck shape" <- I love this turn of phrase

We got a sleep motif reference boys! Pack it in!

Oh yeah! I've seen this song used for good PMVs before. I like this kind of music with Rainhaze, too; that stomp-clamp indie kind of sound.

"If they find the body in the basement In the very house that she was raised in" <- ohh......

"So when we get the sign From God I'll be the first to call them I'm taking back the number of the beast"

"Should I choose a noble occupation? If I did I'd only show up late and sick And they would stare at me with hatred"

Oh gosh yeah I do remember being a little confused by that ask. So ominous! But I agree, it's fitting for him.

"I roam these halls, search the night In hopes that I may see A remnant trace, a glimpse of you"

"There and then, I should have known It was me all along Nevermore to leave here Nevermore to leave here My love is the killing kind"

Rainhaze has this wonderful effect on people's brains where instead of Thoughts there is Rainhaze. Definitely adding "Her Sinking Sun" to the playlist.

"Torn apart from everyone Her sinking sun I watch it die"

"Animals begging to eat They can't survive Not meant to be"

"Flowers of skin and bone We're all alone Waiting to die"

"Water rushes through my heart It's torn apart By yr trusting eyes"

That's a cute idea, I like it! Well, not cute all the way, but you know what I mean. Or in another way... Pinepaw looking for Asphodelpaw after she disappears. A shorter timeline, but maybe more accurate to the song.

"Have you seen my sister, Evelyn? Dang, she's gone and wandered off again! I've been lookin' high and low Where oh where'd my sister go?"

"Is she studyin' Kabala? Did she win a million dollars? Or is she dead in a ditch somewhere?"

Boooo I ran out of links fuck you tumblr

[thediktatortot]

I feel like Steve would be one of those people that's like deathly allergic to something like walnuts or pecans, something relatively easy to not encounter in day to day meals so no one ever even knows he had an allergy to begin with.

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Steve sat at the dinner table squished between Dustin and Billy, the noise around him somewhat buzzing with conversation as the rest of the party talked over each other. It's Max's birthday and the kids decided to throw her a surprise party much to her embarrassment, but by this point she's completely forgotten about her dislike of surprises and is happily eating her slice of Pecan Pie.

Billy had said she loved the stuff and always asked her mom for it when they lived in California so he figured she would appreciate that more than a cake. So they made one.

Well, Steve hadn't, Billy had made the thing by himself because Steve had come up with the excuse of being the one to go get supplies so he didn't have to touch it, allergic to the Pecans. He'd never really told anyone about his allergy, not really seeing the need too when he rarely even encountered the things at all.

But now? There it sat, something beyond his reach.

It seemed to taste good if Max's face was anything to go by, and Steve had always enjoyed Pie's in general. He could have peanuts, cashews and pistachios without any issues, mostly the other nuts causing him to have a sore throat but nothing as bad as Pecans. His parents had gotten him an allergy panel when he was a little kid, so luckily he never had to find out the hard way.

But now he was curious. Now he wanted just a taste.

On impulse, Steve reached out and cut a chunk of the pie with his fork and stuffed it in his mouth, chewing the sweet and nutty pie with a hum.

"Wow, that's actually really good."

Billy and a few others gave Steve a curious but confused look, Mike piping up first. "What, never had Pecan Pie before?"

Steve finished chewing, swallowing the pie while staring at his fingers holding the fork with a thoughtful look as his tongue began to tingle and his body began to feel hot, thinking to himself it was a good thing they were at his house and he knew exactly where the Epi-pen was.

"huh?" He looked up, looking from Mike to Billy who was now staring at Steve's cheeks, red quickly creeping up from his neck and hairline. "Oh! No-... I'm actually extremely allergic and I really wanted to see what they tasted like."

A chorus of cries and barks of anger burst out from the group as Steve pushed up from his seat calmly, "I'll uh...go get my Epi-pen."

End

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I know that sometimes people with extreme allergies also need additional medical assistance after using their Epi-pen so please don't do this in real life. I'm lucky enough to rarely ever encounter my actual deadly allergy anywhere in normal life.