#especially since i’ll have to wash so many dishes again

[misharkfin]

hungry. trying to make a midnight snack with the few things we have i deem ‘easily’ cookable. and it’s corned beef. or instant noodles, actually. i just don’t know if you can air-fry those. i’d also like a sunny-side up egg. i want plenty of things but it seems as though i am only capable of giving myself a little

[hydrngea]

Heyy!

Can you do a rafe cameron x reader fluff where she gets made fun of by some girls at the country club and rafe overhears and helps her?

Take your time and thx!

𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐛

a/n : thanks sm for the request 💕💕💕 sorry i took forever !!! hope you enjoy!

masterlist / latest rafe fic / ao3

—————

there were all sorts of talk about you and rafe cameron spreading around the country club.

everytime you went out to drop off an order at a table, you’d hear whispers of your name and feel heavy glares being burnt onto the back of your uniform.

you knew that the people were gonna talk. you were the kook-kings new girl and that was enough to rile up every girl in the obx, especially since you were a pogue.

the sharp voice of your boss pulled you out of your trance as you washed some dirty dishes.

“hey, y/n! switch places with jere at the bar so he can go on break.”

fuck

that was the last thing you needed today and might as well been your last straw. of course he had to switch you to the bar ten minutes before the end of your shift. you internally groan at his words, whilst putting forth your best country-club smile and pushing past the trap door.

the second you walk out you’re ushered over by a high pitched girl from the corner of the bar. great. of course it’s the assholes from school calling for you.

“hey, yoo-hoo! we need some refills over here.”

you hurry over to the group and forced greeting “how may i help?” you ask with a fiegned sweetnsss to your voice, silently praying under your breath that they won’t order anything too complex.

you definitely jinxed yourself.

“can we get 6 spicy margs with extra spice?”

you can’t help the disappointed sigh that escapes you- it’s probably going to take you past the end of your shift to finish mixing that many drinks.

it seems like your dissatisfaction is apparent to them, because the girl in the middle, bianca, you think, cocks her head to her left and pouts.

“is there a problem? you do realize this is your job right?”

you’re taken aback by her comment, even though it shouldn’t surpise you. she’s been kildare’s self appointed queen bee since elementary. her words aren’t very out of the ordinary for her, but they still sting at your chest.

another one scoffs, shrugging a shoulder as she combs her fingers through her freshly balayaged hair. “i know it’s hard for you pogues to be on your feet and work for your money, but what’s the point of the paycheck if you can’t even do your job enthusiastically?”

your clench your fist at your side, digging your fingernails into your palm while biting your tounge. you try not to make it seem like they’re getting to you, but you know by the burning feeling on your cheeks that your body is betraying you.

“so 6 spicy margaritas?” you attempt to end their shaming of you by clarifying the order, but they totally ignore you, continuing on with their degradation.

“really, y/n. if you want the tips you should at least act happy to be at your job.”

happy was the last thing you were feeling at the moment.

“i’ll take that into-“ you voice cracks in the middle of your sentence, your frustration catching up to you. suddenly, you feel small, small like you’re the size of the fire ants that strut over the ground; even smaller. “consideration.” you finish, muttering the last word.

you make to turn on your heel and start on the drinks, yet you hear your name fall from one of their lips once again. you try to focus on pouring the alcohol increments correctly, but you can’t stop yourself from tuning into what they have to say about you.

“i bet she’s gonna leave rafe the second she drains his bank account.”

“please; rafe will leave her once he finally realizes he deserves way better than a pogue. just a matter of time.”

the conversation just keeps getting worse, to the point you almost drop the marghertis as you carry them over towards them.

you let out a somewhat relieved sigh when you see rafe walking over towards the counter, twirling his car keys on his pointer finger.

“hiii rafe.” bianca says, her voice drippping with desperation that almost makes you gag. rafe acts as though she were on mute, completely ignoring her while he beelined in your direction.

he leans against the bar, offering a smile that’s reserved for just you “hey baby,” rafe greets. “ready to go home?”

“yea. let me just grab my stuff and i’ll be out quick.” you reply, quietly as you finish wiping down your work area.

rafe notices your hushed tone and your upset mood without you having to announce it; you have that angry look in your eyes and your skin is flushed scarlet with your jaw it taut. something’s up.

he watches as you trudge out the door and slightly juts out his lip in a small pout, wondering what’s going on with you right now. usually you’re all cheerful and happy when he comes to pick you up from work.

“of course y/n needs rafe to rescue her from work.“ his ears capture the annoying voice of one of the girls gathered together at the corner of the bar. he turns around, looking at them with his brow furrowed in disgust.

“god, i don’t know how he deals with he-“

“what’d you just say?” rafe pushes himself off the counter and stomps his way towards them, giving them all a glare made of steel. the girls all tense in their seats, voices piping down as they just look at him.

of course fucking bianca’s the one to open her mouth to try and respond. rafe doesn’t even give her the opportunity to say something, cutting her off before she can’t even start. “keep that mouth shut. especially if your gonna talk shut about my girl.” he threatens, eyes shooting daggers at her.

just then, you appear from the corner and rafe walks away from them, possessively wrapping an arm over you shoulder, pressing a firm kiss to your forhead and then your lips. “let’s get out of here, huh?” he whispers against your lips and you reply nod, giving him a small smile before you bring your fingers to interlock with his which rests by your bicep.

you can’t help the giggle which falls from you as he mutters a pointed comment towards the girls while you walk past them- loud enough that you’re sure they heard.

they definitely will be keeping their mouths shut from now on.

———

taglist : @maybankslover @mrsstarkey1 @of-many-fandomss @penny4yourthoughts @dearreader03

[estrellami-1]

The Easiest Thing (I’ve Ever Done)

Had an idea. I don’t know if it’s anything, or if it makes any sense, but I like it. I hope y’all do too!

The camera’s shaky, moving from Eddie trying to place his phone down, making sure to keep his face in frame. “Baby,” he sings, looking off-camera. “Would you peel me an orange?”

A slight pause before, “Hypothetical or literal?”

Eddie blinks. “Uh. Literal?”

“How many do you want?”

Eddie gapes. “Just- just like that? No teasing? Nothing about me being capable? Nothing at all?”

“It’s an orange, babe. ‘S not like me carrying you out of-”

Eddie scrambles for his phone, and the video cuts off.

It picks up again later. They’re in the living room now, and Eddie’s filming Steve, who had just asked him a question. “Say it again.”

“Say-?”

“The question you just asked me. Ask me again.”

Steve gestures to the TV. “We just watched 50 First Dates, Eds, I don’t think it’s crazy of me to ask if you’d do that for me.”

“Stevie. Baby. Light of my life. Look me in my eyes and ask me again. But before you do, think about two years ago when you got a concussion and the resulting short-term amnesia.”

Steve closes his eyes and leans his head back with a groan. “I’m an idiot.”

“Are not,” Eddie says hotly, and the video cuts off again.

It picks up again later. It’s dark in the room, and Eddie’s got his finger to his lips, as if he’s telling the audience to be quiet. “Say that again, baby?”

Steve mumbles something unintelligible, then, “The elephant’s back.”

“Yeah? What’s it doing?”

The camera moves to focus on Steve’s face. He’s clearly still asleep, even as he frowns. “He’s proposing. ‘S my job.”

“Your job?”

“Mhm. ‘M gonna do it.” Another frown. “Screw you, elephant.”

The camera jumps to Eddie, who’s got a hand covering his mouth. The video cuts off again.

It picks up again later. Eddie’s in the same position as the first part of the video. There’s background sounds—rushing water and clanking porcelain—that means Steve’s washing dishes.

“I feel like you’re mad at me.”

The clanking stops. The water shuts off. “What?”

Eddie shrugs. “You’ve been kinda tense ever since I got home.”

“Baby,” Steve whispers. “No. No, I’m not mad at you. I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. I’ve just got a lot in my head right now.”

Eddie nods. “Can I help?”

Steve hums. “You can listen.”

Eddie smiles. “I can do that.”

“Okay, cool.” The water turns back on. “So I was talking to Robin earlier-”

The video cuts off again.

It picks up again later. They’re back on the couch, but this time Steve’s engrossed in a book, lips silently moving as he reads. “Baby.”

“Hm?”

“You mouth the words to yourself when you read.”

Steve flushes scarlet. “Shuddup.”

“No!” Eddie laughs. “No, I love it! It’s adorable!”

“You don’t.” He sniffs, but does nothing to hide the smile on his face. “It’s not.”

“It is,” Eddie argues back, camera jumping around as he shifts to sit up. “And I’ll prove it.”

“Yeah? How?”

“Uh. That part I don’t know yet. But I’ll figure it out!”

“Mhm.” Steve’s lips twitch up at the corners.

“I’m serious.”

“Mhm.”

“I love every part of you.”

Steve’s smile softens into something lovesick. “I know.”

“Especially the parts you don’t like.”

Steve groans and covers his face with the book, and Eddie chuckles as he turns the camera off.

The last time it picks up, Steve’s the one setting it up. “Babe?” He calls.

“Yeah?”

“Would you love me if I was a worm?”

“If you were a worm?”

“Yeah. Would you love me.”

Eddie walks into frame to grab Steve’s hands and hold them. “My darling,” he murmurs, “I fall more in love with you every day. It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done and the easiest decision I’ll ever make. And I make it every day, I have for years now. If you were a worm, I’d build you the best little worm house. I’d do all the research and find out what you can eat, and I’d always have that. I’d learn to speak worm so I could talk to you.” He lifts one of Steve’s hands to his lips. “If you were a worm? Baby, I’d love you more than any worm’s ever been loved before.”

“Oh,” Steve squeaks.

Eddie presses a brief kiss to his lips before pulling away. “Why don’t you turn the camera off and come join me upstairs?”

Steve gapes even as he reaches for his phone. “You absolute asshole-”

“I meant every word, baby. Let me show you how much?”

Steve flounders, and the video cuts off for the last time.

Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @mischivarien @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @inadequatecowboy @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42

[krylng--cborlesversion]

we will meet again. chapter 3

TW: blood, light gore, two deaths, murders, mentions of you going to hell in this.

previous

next

you didn’t know what to do anymore. you had sex with alastor! the thoughts of it lingered in your mind. how you just casually did. you were ashamed since you don’t remember how many days ago you met. you know you had to ask him soon. Marie was out shopping for things, and you and alastor were left home alone. you knew you had to ask him soon.

“hey, i’m making eggs and bacon. do you want some?” alastor asks when you come downstairs. “YES!” you say, almost instantly. you were drooling from the smell. he laughed, and continued to make the breakfast. you knew his cooking would be good, since he learned from the best. Marie. you adored her cooking. especially her jambalaya. even alastor’s favorite was jambalaya.

you smiled as he sat a plate in front of you. he sat next to you, eating his food too.

“this is actually really good!” you smiled. he smiled back. “i learned from the best. i know these aren’t as good as hers, but… i try.”

you finish your breakfast. it was time to ask him the question.

“so… uhm. after we killed my father… and uh… you know…” you nervously played with your fingers.

“oh yeah. i felt his spirit roaming around, so i did so he wouldn’t linger much longer. as soon as i did, i felt him leave. probably going down to hell forever.” he took one last bite of his eggs and put the dishes in the sink. you got up to help him wash the dishes.

“then… why’d you keep going?” you didn’t know why you asked, but as soon as you felt it slip out of your mouth, you regretted it.

“because, if the police barged in, they would instantly get out. besides, i liked being… in control.” he smiled innocently. he was also completely aware of your age. sixteen. there was a two year age gap.

“anyway, there’s a party tonight. me and my mother are going.” he watched as you sat down on the sofa. “oh, that’s fun!” you picture him at the party with a lot of old people pinching his cheeks and telling him stories.

“yeah, well, i was wondering if you would like… to be my date to the party.” he grabbed your hand and kissed the top of it.

“r-really? i mean, of course! but… wouldn’t you rather bring someone else…? like, someone prettier… and not just a friend?” you hold back tears.

“and why wouldn’t i bring you? your one of my dearest friends after all! besides… i think you might be the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen.” he hold your chin to meet his gaze. you blush a bit.

“i guess, i’ll go with you.” you smile, still looking into his eyes. he was inviting YOU. to a party where only the wealthiest were welcome. you were very nervous. Jane couldn’t even go, since you had to have a date.

later, you wore the same dark purple dress. it kind of matched alastor’s black suit. you both head down the stairs, and into a carriage. this was a fancier party, since it was public to anyone who got an invite.

you arrived at the party, seeing people of all ages. Marie went to go see her friends, leaving you and alastor together. he took your hand and kissed it again. “you truly are… stunning.” he leads you to a meeting area with chairs and a table.

“i dont like this music right now, so perhaps we shall wait until… our song… comes on.” he smiles and motions for you to sit down. you and alastor had a song? it was the one from the soirée and from the radio that day.

“do you want to go to the bar?” he asks, taking your hand. “i could go for a shot right now.”

“yes, i guess i could go too.”

you both take a few shots before going to the dance floor. it was a ballroom dance, the kind of dance that he showed you how to do.

“it’s alright, just follow my lead and focus on me.” you are both perfectly in sync. you both get lost in the moment when a girl taps your shoulder. you turn your head to look at her.

“c-could i dance with alastor?” she seems nervous.

“ask him, im sure… he would say yes.” she asks, and he accepts. you were a little angry at the girl, but kept a cool head. sure, you had fantasies about stabbing her to death, or poisoning her, or cutting out her organs and stuffing her in a fridge to die. you sat down at the bar again, ordering some rye. you drank it as you watched them dance. you don’t know how you felt. was it jealousy? was it anger? was it sadness? you didn’t know. alastor really was a gentleman.

she must have been the only one without a date, so she stole him from you. now you were left with nobody. you stared at the glass of rye in your hand and then back at her. oh you had an idea alright.

she was going to pay for taking him away. you made eye contact with alastor. he almost… nodded, like he was approving your request. you made your way over there. “hey! i was just wondering if you could follow me.” you lead her outside. into an alley.

“well, i just need to talk to you.” you smiled, as you walked closer to her. she took a few steps back, but she was trapped. you bashed the glass on her head, making it bleed. half of the bottle shattered, leaving the other sharp half in your hand. you brutally stabbed her with it. you stabbed her eyes out. you brutally stabbed her neck, making her mute. you stabbed all over her body. the bottle eventually shattered. she wasn’t dead yet.

“dear, use this.” alastor appeared from the doorway and tossed a knife to her. she took it, and stabbed her all over. you cut her fingers and toes off. alastor was inside, leaving you and her alone again. you brutally stabbed her heart, killing her. you carved your initial and alastor’s initial into her skin. you put a heart. her body had to know that he was yours. you tossed her body in the dumpster. nobody would ever check there.

you made your way to alastor again. he licked some blood off your sleeve. you totally forgot! you looked down to see your dress. “it’s alright dear, that was it. though, i have to say, i’m impressed. i didn't know if you would be able to kill without me.” you playfully punched him in the arm. he took your hands, dancing to the same song. it was perfect. just like the first time. all of the people left the dance floor. it was you and alastor, dancing gracefully to the ballroom music.

“uhh, they all left and they’re staring at us…” you looked over at them.

“it’s fine dear, let them stare. let them know that you’re the only one i’m going to dance with. and if any man thinks of trying to take you from me, i’ll hunt them down and murder them.” you noticed as his eye turned a deep shade of red. you weren’t scared, but you liked it. you kept staring at his eyes as you both danced. they finally went back to the brown eyes he had.

you had murdered a girl who tried to take him. her corpse was rotting in that dumpster, but you didn’t care. you were with him again. you really needed to murder. you wanted it all along. it seemed like everywhere you went with him, you would both end up killing someone. you smirked at him.

“prove that you would kill for me.” his eyes turned red again, but he smiled widely.

he eventually picked out a man who happened to be staring at your body. he had also pretended to drop his glasses to look up your dress a few times. he told you to stay inside while he killed him.

you both killed someone. for each other. you really wanted to ask him, what are we? but you were too nervous.

he headed back inside, brushing off his sleeve. you reached up to wipe some blood of his lips.

you had no idea why you did what you did

you licked the blood from your finger, and he smiled widely.

you licked the blood.

you licked someone else’s blood.

surprisingly, his blood didn’t taste too bad. but you still licked someone else’s blood.

you were a killer. just like alastor. you would both go to hell, but you would still be together in hell.

you didn’t know why, but you wanted to kiss him really bad. you knew you were friends, but you just wanted to. you couldn’t though, there were so many people. many people left as the police came, investigating.

“why are there police here…” you said nervously, gripping onto alastor’s arm. “we have to go. my mother is waiting outside.”

you both get in the carriage and you watch as the ballroom gets farther and farther.

“what were you thinking?! killing people tonight?” marie sighed, and she sobbed.

“mother… i’m sorry!” he goes on the other side to hug her. “i knew i had to! he was being a creep…”

“still, why do you kill? i tried to be supportive, but i dont know if i can anymore!” he softly sobbed with his mother, still hugging her.

you didn’t know if you should go over there.

the carriage stopped at the house, and you all went in. you both changed clothes, and closed the door to sleep.

alastor was sleeping shirtless, and you were wearing a silk tank top and shorts. you turned off the lamp, and faced him.

“i… i’m just really sorry… i shouldn’t have made you kill.” you sigh but he pulls you close.

“no, it’s fine, i knew my mother would be like this one day. and i’ll try to kill… less. but only people who deserve it.” you smile, and you feel his soft lips against yours.

you were shocked that he actually kissed you. you still kissed him back. soon, he kissed you a little bit harder. you closed your eyes. you felt his tongue slip into your mouth. you still kissed him equally as hard. you felt trails of kisses down your jawline and onto your neck. you felt him bite and kiss your neck. you liked it so much, a small moan left your mouth. he hummed a bit against your neck. you loved every second of it. you didn’t care that you were tired. you feel asleep while he bit and sucked on your neck.

you didn’t know why every time you murdered someone, you always did this together. why?

you woke up the next morning with a lot of hickeys. you caress them and trace them with your finger in front of the mirror. it had been two months since you killed that girl at the party. you killed someone last night, and you woke up with more. on your neck, and some on your thighs. you touched where he bit your lip. he was still asleep.

you were still friends, even if you doubted you were just friends sometimes. friends didn’t kiss and give each other hickeys. since you were living at the Hartfelts for a while, alastor slept on the sofa when you and Jane had sleepovers. you would always secretly show all the hickeys from the night before. even jane wanted to know what you guys were.

you didn’t want to date him. just yet. it was all too… rushed. you were sure alastor felt the same way about rushed relationships. one time you asked him why this always happens when you kill people.

“because, like i said the first night. it turns me on.” you blushed when he said that.

you secretly wanted to kill more people after that for him. everything was going so well.

until the police showed up at the house.

you answered the door.

“oh hello there. we need to see you and alastor hartfelt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yep, another one done, FINALLY! this is my second try, because the app crashed and i had to restart. i’m so glad, because there was smut in the first draft, but it’s too soon for more, don’t you think? anyway~ this was written on July 5th, but of course i’m making it post today. just letting you know, it will be a while until chapter 4. until then!

[lovemesomesurveys]

[brelee @ bzoink]

Do you know anyone currently pregnant?   I don’t think so. 

Have you ever fallen in public?   Yes, several times. Not fun. 

Did you ever own those moon shoes?   No, I couldn’t wear those. My brother had them, though. They were pretty cool. 

What were some toys you enjoyed in your childhood?   Oh, I was a Barbie girl all the way. Like we’re talking obSESSED.

Do you enjoy dancing or going to clubs?   I like “dancing” or whatever it is I attempt to do in the privacy of my home, haha. I don’t enjoy the club scene at all. 

Take this space to appreciate someone or something in your life. I could never express just how much I appreciate my mom and everything she has done for me. There’s just not enough words. I would be completely lost without her. Even now at 33 she’s had to be caretaker and I see how how hard she works between a full time job, taking care of me, being there for my brother and dad, cleaning the house, going grocery shopping, and running errands not just for herself but for a family friend. I don’t know how she does it all. She is truly what keeps me going. I hope one day I’ll be able to do something nice that she would love. She deserves so much. I am just so blessed to have my mom and I love her more than anything.

Do you have any plans in the upcoming weeks?   No. 

What have you done to treat yourself lately?   I haven’t done anything to treat myself lately. 

What's your favorite thing to do when the weather is bad?   Bad how? If it’s bad as in miserably hot then I stay indoors with my fans on all day and try to go to the beach as much as possible. If you’re talking rainy, cold weather, then I love the coziness of it with a hot drink and wrap myself up in a cozy blankie. I love that kind of weather.  Do you enjoy going to the park?   No. I don’t enjoy just sitting outside with bugs flying all around. Or being hot or dealing with windy weather. None of that is my thing. My only exception is the beach, where I’ll spray on some OFF and spray around me and just chill in my tent. That’s much more tolerable for me.

Do you have any allergies?   Yes, apart from seasonal allergies I am allergic to tangerines. 

Which is more dreaded.. doing dishes or cleaning out the fridge?   Washing dishes is disgusting If there’s old food left on it. Especially if there’s like bread or something and it’s soggy lflsdfjlsdfjl *BARF* I also am grossed out by cleaning out the fridge. Some things don’t bother me like a bag old shredded cheese that I just toss in the trash or something like that, but old food saved in tubber ware.... no, nope, no way. I will set it on the counter and let my mom or dad handle it lol. I would literally throw up if I even attempted to it myself. 

Do you blast music while driving or do you find that annoying? I like to have it at a reasonable level. 

Do you know anyone named after each season?   I don’t know anyone named after a season. I do love the names Autumn and Winter, though. 

What's the last thing you had to write down?   I don’t recall the last thing I wrote by hand, but apart from this survey I last typed a note on my phone.

If you had to cook a meal, what would you make?   I don’t cook so you’re getting ramen or sandwiches, ha. And I haven’t even cooked or made anything myself in almost a year due to hospital stays and being basically bedridden. Sooo, you’ll have to wait a bit for that sandwich and ramen meal, ha.

What time do you normally feel most awake?   There isn’t a time I feel most awake. I’m always tired.

Do you ever do breathing exercises?   I was supposed to be ever since I came home from the hospital last August because while there I had a breathing tube and then a trachea tube for 3 months so I had to strengthen my lungs again. Of course, being the loser I am, practiced a few times in the beginning but that quickly went out the window. I should get back into that...

What was the last thing you cleaned?   I don’t recall.

Have you ever had a concussion?   No.

What do you think of TikTok?   I love TikTok. There’s so many different things on there and I can find myself getting caught up in one thing to another. Plus I enjoy keeping up with the ones I follow. 

Are you able to rap fast?   No.

What have you been doing today? other than surveys :p   I was on TikTok, I watched some TV, ate, and watched YouTube. 

What questions do you enjoy answering?   I like surveys like these. I want to be able to elaborate and even ramble if I feel like it. A lot of times a question will prompt me to go on a huge rant/ramble/venting session. 

Would you consider your life to be chaotic or more chill?   It’s been very chaotic for awhile now.

Do you prefer long or short sleeve tops?   Like short sleeves that go to like mid arm. I like long sleeves too when it’s cold, but I don’t want the sleeves to just hit my hand at that’s it, I want to be able to pull them over my fingers. I don’t want the sleeves to go up when I lift my arms. It’s hard to find a good fit sometimes because I have long arms. I usually have to size up.

When was the last time you had a bellyache?   Sometime recently. 

Are you close with your siblings? if you don't have them, do you wish you did?   I am.

What are 3 essentials in your pantry right now?   Canned veggies and beans, pasta noodles and sauce, oatmeal. 

What's something you are thankful for?   My family.

Have you ever seen a tsunami in person?   Noooo. Omg, just the thought is terrifying.

How many mirrors are in your house?   I don’t feel like thinking about it and trying to count them in my head, but we have several. 

Do you enjoy cloud watching?   It’s not something I do.

Have you ever held a wild animal?   No.

Do you enjoy playing uno?   Sure.

Is it currently nighttime where you are?   No, it’s 6:12PM and still quite light out.

What was the last thing you broke? I could go deep with this, but nah.

Would you consider yourself to be naive?   In some ways.

What's a song you've had on repeat recently? I don’t tend to play songs on repeat.

[teabiscs]

another sergei/rei headcanon but more sergei pov

Sergei is apprehensive about hosting the Bladebreakers for two weeks. Just that it’s a lot. Having four more people in the house, regardless that the house is huge and Kai is footing the expenses of food.

Four more mouths to feed, four more sets of dishes to run. Possibly fighting over the washing machine. 

Sergei just felt on edge. He wasn’t used to hosting people. They’ve never opened up the house like this. Usually it was Kai just fucking off to Russia to visit and he’d ghost them most of the trip anyway, dealing with whatever bullshit Hiwatari Enterprises needed him there for. 

But now with all these inter team relationships, they’re always someone here. 

All because Yuriy and Boris just couldn't date each other. No they had to each date someone from the Bladebreakers. Not that he minds. Kai is Kai. And when he visits he’s a ghost, or he’s a ghost with Boris. And Takao is… different. A breath of fresh air in the house. He makes Yuriy so happy. And that is so important to Sergei. His brothers’ happiness.

-

The first meal stresses Sergei out. He’s concerned he hasn’t made enough food, especially with Takao’s appetite. He doesn’t want to seem like a bad host so soon in the stay. 

And then looking at all the dishes stacked high in a tower in the sink. Sergei feels exhausted and this is just day one. MEAL ONE. He lets out a sigh at the sight. 

But then there’s a clearing of a throat behind him, and it’s the Chinese member from the bladebreakers. And he’s offering to help with the dishes. And Sergei breathes a sigh of relief.

And then at lunch he’s by Sergei’s side again offering to help cook, and he lets him. And it's quiet, Sergei is a man of few words when he meets someone new. And before today, he has never spoken a word to Kai’s Chinese teammate. Sergei is so pleasantly surprised by how Rei manages and handles himself in the kitchen, and how he's always offering to do exactly what Sergei was just about to do. Want me to cut that up? Wash the produce? I'll put the water on to boil. 

How is it Kai is a fucking disaster in the kitchen, but his teammate cooks like its his job? And then they talk a little bit and find out that, oh, yeah he used to work in a kitchen in Paris, with his uncle. Sergei thinks it's so cool that Rei has been around the world and has traveled. And they just hit it off.

Sergei can’t think of anyone else he has just had great conversation with just so naturally other than his found family. He struggles around Takao (how Yuriy puts up with him, he has no idea, but he has the red head wrapped around his finger.), and even Kai sometimes as well (Though he’ll put the blame on Kai for that, but since he and Boris have… gotten together? [are they official? Better ask Ivan] Kai is a little easier to speak to)

Rei does enough talking for the two of them. He fills in conversation here and there. And it's so nice. Nice to hear his accented English, and accented Japanese, and how he slips into Chinese sometimes when he’s deep in thought. 

-

Crush starts or atleast what Sergei thinks is a crush. He’s never felt like this before at all. It’s different than what he feel for his brothers, and different than what he feels for everyone else. It’s stronger more intense. It’s like he’s addicted to Rei. 

So if it’s a crush, which, now that he’s really thinking it all over. It definitely is. 

Sergei has always been direct. No nonsense. He figures it’s from his days back in the abbey. 

He figures Kai is the best to ask about Rei. Takao would ask too many questions and probably blab about it. And the blonde was… weirdly close to Rei. 

“I Don't think he is seeing anyone right now. Him and Mao aren’t together at the movement.” Kai shrugs

Sergei presses a little. He’s not going to make things super awkward if he starts hitting on Rei. Is he interested in men?

“He’s bi or, what was it he said? It’s something else. But he likes men. We used to hook up years ago.”

And Sergei is a little weird over that, but also it's confirmed he likes men so, game. 

And then Kai will chuckle and is like “is Ivan the only straight guy on this trip??” And then he chuckles again. And mumbles under his breathe, “must have been something in the abbey’s drinking water.”

(But also he sees Max and Rei cuddling on the couch and his heart sinks until Kai pulls him to the side and is like, if you like Rei go for it, those two are always like that. More so because Yuriy is here for Takao and would kill max if he did that to Takao) [and Sergei never expected Kai of ALL fucking people to play matchmaker, but here he is.)

-

And okay… maybe Sergei likes being able to help Rei. And maybe he’s been purposefully putting things on the top shelf. But Rei is stubborn, Sergei finds out. He’d rather struggle and climb on countertops when he thinks Sergei isn't looking. So. Now Sergei is placing things on the top shelf and more towards the back, to where only he and Boris would be able to reach it without difficulty. Even Yuriy would have some trouble grabbing it.

And finally. Sergei gets the chance to do what he’s been waiting to do. Rei is struggling, teetering back and forth on his tip toes trying to reach a bowl that's just out of reach. Sergei sweeps in and lifts Rei up. Sweeps him right off his feet. He’s at least a solid foot off the ground and is able to easily grab the bowl that’s on the top shelf. 

Okay. So maybe time freezes, or he freezes but he’s definitely holding Rei up way longer than he should be. He gently places Rei down onto his feet. It all happens so fast, but Rei turns around and bows (FUCKING BOWS!!!), thanking him for the help.

Sergei stares at him with wide eyes, blush coloring his cheeks. Because he just did that. He actually just lifted Rei up, like he’s been day dreaming about all fucking week. 

But Rei acts embarrassed afterwards. His face red hot. So Sergei decides not to do that ever again. 

-

They start spending time outside of cooking and meal time. And Sergei realizes they have mor things in common than maybe he initially thought. The uncle Rei had mentioned wasnt technically his uncle, just felt close enough to call him one. So he was like Sergei, and the rest of the house, he didn’t have a blood family either. He just had his found family in Japan and back in China. 

Sergei feels bad for Ivan, because its like everyone has grouped off, and left Ivan to figure out what to do. But Ivan is quick to put Sergei at ease, so that he doesn't feel neglected. Max and him have been hanging out while everyone else is being gross and sucking face. (And Sergei goes red, because VANYA! I haven’t kissed him. I would never! *Ivan raises an eyebrow* Okay, I would, if he was okay with it, but I haven’t) And now that Sergei has regained composure, its his turn to raise an eyebrow at Ivan, “So Max, huh?” And Ivan rolls his eyes, and is like unlike all you homos, I am straight. We just play video games and talk about how lame all of you are.

And for the next two weeks, Sergei tries to show Rei as much as he can without saying outright that he has feelings for Rei. And while Sergei is disappointed, he knows this isn't the last time he will see Rei. There was talk in the house about filling out visa applications for them to go to Japan. So Sergei, in his best Japanese he can write, pens a little note, as well as his number., and stows it away in Rei’s duffle bag when he leaves.

-

And Sergei isn't expecting a text too quickly. It’s a long flight, jet lag, etc, who knew when he was going to go through his stuff? Forty Eight hours max, right? Wrong. It’s almost a week since Rei left and not one text. And now Sergei is low key upset, so he brings it up to Boris.

Asking Boris, if he thought Rei would be the type to ignore him. And Boris listens to Sergei complain about how he thought the two really connected, and at least had become friends, but while he is talking to Boris, Boris rips out his phone and starts texting. And Sergei's heart hurts, because he can tell Boris is talking to Kai. and he feels so alone, even though he knows all he needs is his family.

And then Boris scowls down at his phone, and brings it up to his ear, “Find out from your chinese teammate why he’s ignoring Seryozha. Do this for me, Kai. Before our soft hearted friend here says this before the wrong person and gets Takao involved.” Sergei doesn't need to hear what he knows is an exasperated sigh on the other end of the line. 

And an hour later his phone dings. And then the next thing he knows is it's been six hours. And Rei has to go cook now, but Sergei’s heart feels so full. He cant believe how attached he’d grown towards Rei in the two weeks they cooked together.

It takes them stupidly long to get together. Over seven months, and everytime the teams part, Boris and Ivan tease Sergei. But its not for lack of trying! Sergei is trying to show his affection to Rei, but maybe he is just dense? And he’ll have to take the Yuriy approach and just kiss him, but the thought leaves him feeling a little sick. He wants Rei to consent to a kiss, before he forces his lips on Rei.

And then Ivan doesn't travel with them. And when he’s on facetime with everyone, Says loud enough that everyone in the room can hear him say hes tired of being the seventh wheel, and that hes sorry for leaving Max to deal with all the couples. And Wow, Is he red. And if there wasn't a 7,000+km distance he’d give him a disappointed look that would make Ivan die inside.

So Sergei figures, this time he’ll ask Rei out. And he does. Twice. But Rei is proving that its him who is the densest on the team and not Takao. (and now he is questioning the man he developed feelings for)

And third times the charm! Even though, it takes Sergei being assertive, that yes, he knows what he is saying in japanese, and YES, he wants to date Rei. NO, he doenst mean anything else. He likes Rei, He wants to be Rei’s boyfriend. This isnt some language barrier, maybe if it was anyone else, but he has the best japanese out of all of them, he knows what hes saying and asking.

And then Rei says yes. And Sergei’s heart feels full to bursting.

—-

Couple Headcanons:

Rei tries introducing Sergei to spicy food, and after Sergei turns violent red and is basically crying from his entire body, decides that maybe they need to start at an even lower spice level.

They continue to cook together. It’s their thing. Trying new recipes. Seasonal ingredients.

When they visit China, Rei plies Sergei with snacks, because you can't get them in Russia, and he wants Sergei to experience all his favorite foods from his home country.

Food is their love language. Well one of them.

Neither are big on baking, though the other borg boys wish either of them were. 

Before Rei, Sergei was kind of the father of the house. And the others would joke that Yuriy was like the house mother, BUT now that role is filled by Rei. (And with the way Rei acts and treats them, they realize Yuriy was never the house mother.)

Sergei realizes really quickly the amount of self confidence and self worth that Rei LACKS. So he likes to remind Rei at all times that he’s loved. That Sergei thinks he's perfect, that he’s a great blader, a great person, a great boyfriend. He makes such a big deal out of Rei, and everything he does. (Isn’t dinner great, Borya? Rei made it all by himself. He’s such a great cook. I'm so lucky to call him mine!”)

Rei sees right through what Sergei is doing, and while he does appreciate it, it makes him cry sometimes. It’s so overwhelming, having someone love him so unconditionally. (Not bashing Mao, but I think her love for him was conditional on him staying in White Tiger Hills. Sergei doenst expect him to stay, but Rei feels so at home in Russia, that he does. [idc idc idc about the legalities of this. This world is controlled by spinning tops])

Rei learns Russian just for the sake of making living easier. But the way Sergei’s green eyes get all soft when he haltingly tries speaking Russian, makes Rei all that more determined to master the language. Because Hey! He was good at picking up languages. Hes got this.

Sergei offers to learn Chinese, but Rei tells him its unnecessary unless he learns the local dialect of WTH, but then its pointless outside of the village.

Sergei calling Rei his lil piroshki. That’s the pet name. Or Tiger, Kitty Cat.

Rei steals all of Sergei’s sweaters, he has trouble handling the cold, after all WTH is kind of warm and tropical somehow. The sweaters are so long and they fall midway down his thighs. And Rei feels so cozy and safe in Sergei’s sweaters. AND THEY SMELL LIKE HIM!

Rei loves being the big spoon, and Sergei loves being the little spoon, even if it can feel ridiculous.

Also just a quick lil sex headcanon, but sergei is well endowed, like obviously hes almost 7 feet tall it makes sense. And rei struggles at first, because its his first time with a guy like this. He’s kissed guys and cuddled and done over the clothes things, but nothing like this. With his mouth. With his body. So he does struggle to take all of Sergei, but sergei is so calm and patient, kissing Rei all over to distract (And after theyre done and post bliss, Sergei figures that he needs to do some research to make this more enjoyable to Rei, even though Rei assures him he had a great time.) Rei is determined to get better at this, because his blood was racing everytime he slid further down and Sergei would say how good he was. And what a good job he was doing. (Also Rei admiring the bruises on his hips the next day from Sergei holding him up when Rei’s legs got all shaky.)

Rei realizes that Sergei hasn't told him everything about his past. But he makes sure he is there. He realizes that every other week Sergei goes to therapy for an hour, and sometimes when he comes back all he wants is silence, and Rei. And Rei is there petting his hair, holding his man for as long as it takes for Sergei to talk. Sometimes its nonsense, sometimes its about his past.

Others’ reactions:

The Borg Boys and Kai give him so much shit over Sergei and Rei’s relationship, but never in front of Rei. Theyre so happy for their Seryozha, but can yall stop being so chummy? Yikes.

The Borg boys make sure to make Rei feel at home as possible in Russia. And they try their hardest with language barriers. Because most time Rei’s Russian is lagging. And sometimes their Japanese is useless, but English fits better. Or they use the internet to translate, but that's a last effort, he'd rather spend 15 minutes dealing with each other than that.

Ivan accidentally calls Rei mom once, as a joke, because it was a team joke that Sergei was dad, and now that he;s dating Rei, that makes him mom. And Sergei is mortified, but Rei is ecstatic! And feels so happy and loved by them.

Kai and Takao are happy for Rei, but they feel like they have no room to talk as they are dating more problematic members of Borg. But Max! Maxie! Is so happy for Rei, but the next time he sees Sergei, he threatens him, that if Sergei ever hurts Rei, the team will find a way to eliminate him.

Sergei’s biggest panic are Rei’s Chinese teammates. Specifically the ex girlfriend, Mao. The whole team seemed so disappointed when he told them just who he was dating. And Sergei hates seeing the hurt looks on Rei’s face and the quiet tears rolling down tan cheeks, that he kisses away.

So when they give him a chance, Sergei makes sure to give a good impression and apologize for what happened almost five years ago. But its not necessary, because once they see the two, the white tigers are so happy for Rei. Sergie treats him like Royalty, and Rei looks at Sergei like he hangs stars in the sky.

again im like the only person whos crazy enough to even ship these two, but i do.

[foxymoxynoona]

Hey it’s me again you’re favorite ghost🤪 I vanished but it’s currently 2 AM and I have a list on my phone of all the things I haven’t read and this makes for a perfect occasion to binge read all of them😀 Don’t want to bore you lol so I’ll try to be quick: Namjoon and Michele: YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING ABOUT THEM. NOW I WANT THE WHOLE STORY. damn. I’ve been waiting for so long to know what happened between these two. This is the perfect moment to say that I’m a *sucker* for “fwb” -ish tropes and honestly after the latest flux chapter I needed Namjoon’s POV so THANK YOU!!

A bouquet of flowers: I’m just very thankful every time I find out you wrote something starring yoongi. You’re probably the only writer that makes me read yoongi and not feel like he’s found something “out of character” (not that we know his character, but I hope you get what I mean lol). And his grandma being gone in Hawaii is so savage and chaotic she’ll always be my favorite 🤩.

The Mishka/JK cockring situation: hilarious. Poor naive Jk not even questioning why she was so snappy towards the vendor lol. Also around the time you published this I was in Treviso (not Dragon Age Treviso, but still!) so I may or may not have crossed paths with these two👀

Fae Jimin: I LOVE THE CONCEPT OF INTERACTIVE STORIES! Don’t know if you’re familiar with the game “Life is Strange” but I loved it and kind of reminded me of it. And both endings were kind of creepy tbh💀 also I loved the line “beautiful. Humanesque but definitely not entirely human, no mortal man could look like that” because that’s exactly how I would describe jimin in real life😅

And I just finished the jk and pippa wash the dishes Drabble and I only have one question, probably stupid but I’m curious: do women’s bodies after birth/nursing actually react like that when they hear a baby cry? I saw multiple videos on this topic on tiktok the other day (don’t ask why they popped up I have no idea lol) and now I read this so I’m like “wait is it all true??” Not that I don’t believe people’s experiences, I just don’t trust people on tiktok 😃

I think that’s all? Oh I have to read asunder but I’m waiting for more chapters to pile up because I realized every update I kept forgetting stuff, I introduce you to my short term memory 😃

Also two things (since I’ve been lurking on your Tumblr anyway👀): you took days off work to write?? You’re now my role model, what I aspire to be when I’m an adult (because I’m not, I’m still 12 didn’t you know?). I suck at taking time for myself🥹 show me your secrets. I also hope you’re doing well❤️ don’t stress!

And number two: Halloween is coming up! I read your kids costume ideas and they’re so cute😭❤️ I’m so jealous of every other part of the world when it comes to Halloween because it’s my favorite holiday here no one celebrates it here, apparently they are boring and care about Christmas🙄. Anyway, if you need ideas on your costumes I’ll be Yor Briar from SpyxFamily👀 (if my costume arrives in time. If not I’ll do what I did last year aka tied my hair in a bun, drew red lines across my face, called 🌚, gave her a red scarf and then went “boom Eren and Mikasa”😅)

🌸

Hot damn girl your novels are such a delight to read!

OK let's start with my favorite part of this, the question about physiological response to babies crying: yes! Caveat, all women are different, even between different postpartums can be different. But my experience and I heard this from many others too is that often especially with a newborn who's freaking out, the mother's body responds in a similar panic and it's much easier for the father to handle the screaming baby because he may not have the same response. For me, I would start shaking, heart racing, sweating, sometimes crying, just total overwhelm (also if you're nursing, sometimes your milk drops at the sound of a baby crying, not even your own.) Sometimes babies just cry, there's nothing even wrong, and it was unbearable at times. It got more manageable for me over time, especially once I was done nursing, but I definitely still have a physical response to my kids crying (even when I know they are perfectly fine!) I'll wake up from the dead of sleep at the faintest chirp (save me please I need to sleep.) When it was strongest, it definitely happened with other children too (though stronger for my own.) I could not watch a movie with a crying baby in it, I'd start freaking out. Hormones are crazy as shit.

Now onto the rest! I'm so glad you're enjoying all the other stuff. It's a lot to binge! Flux Namjoon will definitely get some more attention. I had actually hoped to start his collection a little earlier, so maybe i'll go backwards too. I just really want to do all the members justice, and it's sort of a sad arc with Michele but he'll get to the happier place he deserves 😊

Fae Jimin was great fun though I wish now I'd let myself write even more leading up. I love interactive fiction and have long wanted to do projects in that vein, blending my writing and my video game career. It's why I play around with the reader insert stories sometimes too. I hope to explore some more, although to really do what I want would be a massive undertaking, so probably not in the near future haha.

I'm so flattered you like my Yoongis!! I used to think he was the hardest member to write but lately I've just been really enjoying getting into his head as a character, I'm looking forward to writing more about him through drabbles and Owl Yoongi. Also I'm working on a Min Je-ni drabble from when she and her husband first married and it's being fun, I love that chaotic granny too, she's so not coming back from Hawaii.

Asunder will probably get easier to follow too once we're to their adulthood, because then there weren't be as much time jumping and meeting people and stuff. Lowlander was super condensed and told from an outsider's perspective so it was a lot simpler; Asunder has SO much world building, it's a lot to keep up with!

As for the days off, yes I did haha, Because I also suck at taking time for myself too! I never stop moving and doing things and had really gotten to a breaking point after such a rough transition to fall so I actually took 4 days off and portioned them out so some were productive and some were restful --which for me meant writing. I wish I could have had a few more days to like just watch TV shows or something, you could argue that writing is not truly restful and you would be right lmao. But it's what I wanted to do and it soothed my heart.

I hope you manage to still have some fun for Halloween. Your costumes sound fun! Yor is a great costume idea!! I really should put some effort into doing something this year. We did our first trick or treat tonight but we've still got 3 Halloween parties/trick or treats to do... Last year I only got to do one because of my surgery right before. Can't believe that's been a whole year!!

[sarcastic-elf]

Chapter 1: Alanna

The lightning flashed out the window of her treehouse, the rain fell, clap of thunder. Morana continued washing the dishes, few they were, not knowing where her husband had been. Simply, one day, seven days ago, he left abruptly. Not knowing where he’d gone off to, she’d not way to contact him, or even to know if he was okay. She just remembered, out of the blue, something about a message and he left, not leaving so much as a note or a peck on the cheek. The days were getting darker, and the sun shining less. She couldn’t help herself as she placed all the plates on the plate rack, before scratching her pointed ear, and turned to the common room. Sitting on the rug, she folded her hands to the altar of the maiden, Forina, her name, Goddess of the world.

Her hands raised up, the altar, woven wood, and green painted. The hair was braided, and the dress fair, as it was, liberally swaying in the mind, or that’s rather what the original carver thought she looked like, also, pointed ears, as were hers, her husbands, and all her family’s. Thankful was she, as the rain berated the bark of the tree outside, revering the Goddess, she closed her eyes, offered a prayer of protection of her husband, and that he’d return soon, and dealt with whatever that errand was.

There was a knock on the door. She broke from her prayer, stood up immediately, and dashed with her elven grace through the halls of her home, and got to the door. She opened t swiftly, and her husband, tired, as he was, was holding a baby, who was crying, loud shrieks that rivaled even the claps of thunder. Her husband put the child into her arms, and she held her, the baby immediately fell asleep.

“Here’s your granddaughter,” he said, pushing past her. He put off his coat, hung it in the closet, removed his shoes immediately as she turned. One might imagine her surprise, who? She was young by even human standards, those that live not often past sixty. How could she? “Her name is Alanna. She’s Merila’s daughter.”

“Mom,” a voice turned behind her.

Morana turned abruptly, the baby in her arms sleeping. Outside the door, her daughter Merila stood behind it. Though, she was far different than memory serves after she left them, and the rest of the family to chase some dreams in the human realm. A bastard human came and swept her off his feet with a daft tongue that was better cut off. Would have saved so many others the trouble. No. But the damage was already done, and the contrast was far different. Merila’s soul was corrupted. Her elf skin was no longer pure as snow, but rather, taken a darker form of purple pigmentation, corrupting the skin. She let out a sigh, before turning to the baby. The elf ears were not as defined as her own. Half-elf.

“Merila,” Morana said, bring her grandchild further into the home. “Come in. Don’t be shy, come in. I’ll make you and Alanna here a nice dinner.”

“Thank you,” Merila said, exposing herself as she came through the door. The hair was on ends, wiry, and several parts of it were coated in some horrid attempt to use the human dye. At least be symmetrical.

Morana brought the baby into the living room, and er husband was resting on the floor, praying silently to their Goddess, hallowed be her precious name.

“Gorna, dear,” she said. “Please hold your granddaughter, I will make us something to eat.”

“Do we have anything for Alanna to eat, or shall I go to the marketplace?”

“Heavens no, not this again,” Morana said. “Last time you went was a circus. No one needs that, especially since you just got home. I can fix something up. I still have some eltha bread.”

“Sure,” Gorna broke away from his prayer and retrieved Alanna from her.

“Merila, come,” Morana asked. “I’ve words to speak with ye.”

Morana went into the kitchen, in which, the faucet for the water was little more than a wooden spout. She waved her hand, and magic flowed through the faucet into the sink. She went over to the cupboards, pulled out some pans, and filled them with the water, turning the water off, she hurried over to the fireplace, put the pan over it, and set a flame over the wood, and soon it was smoking. As the water was brought to a boil, she cut up carrots, potatoes and tomatoes. Brought them into the water and put them in, splashing the hot liquid to the floor. She cut up some chicken and poured it in, cooking it until it would simmer down, and be ready. It would take some time.

She walked over to the other cupboards and took out several wooden bowls and set them on the table. Merila stood at the doorway as she continued to prepare things at the table. “Come, Merila,” Morana replied. “I’ve words to speak to you, don’t be afraid. I’m not angry.”

“Yes, Mom,” Merila replied and sat on the seat opposite of her.

The window ajar ever so slightly. The rain, though sometimes terrible, had a way of soothing the soul and keeping spirits of evil at bay. After all, Morana was now sitting with a dark elf now. They were plenty, more so than she, the wood elf, one of the purest of grains. The world was dark, no. That was wrong. There wasn’t anything dark about the world. It was the heart of darkness that made everything bleak outside the confines of the forest. Here they were, on the inner parts of the world, and yet, darkness still had a way to sway hold. Such as befallen her daughter, and she prayed inside, without kneeling, that Ferina would guide her back into the night and cleanse her. But that was Merila’s decision.

“Tell me what happened since you’ve gone? Hardly a letter in three years was it?” Morana asked.

“Yes,” Merila replied. “Three years.”

“And you didn’t bother to write us to tell us about your child?” Morana said, fingers tapping as the steam of the stew began to fill the air with its aroma. “What all happened? Leave nothing unsaid.”

“We left in the middle of the night,” Merila answered. Her hands rubbed together as they often did as she thought of a lie. I wish you didn’t do that. “We found some work, but nothing sustainable. I gave him my body, and I bore Alanna. We had some fights.” That I believe. “It was horrible. He pulled out my shoulder out of its socket, hurt me even more. He made me try things.”

“What did he make you try?” Morana reached over to touch her daughter’s hands. “Don’t hide anything from me. Enough.”

“We went to a temple,” she said. Ferina. Please, not that temple! “Moloch. Mom, I know you said I should never go there but—”

“But you did,” Morana sighed. “But you did, and there is no turning back time. Ferina could, but you know she doesn’t. It wouldn’t give Her glory. And,” Morana touched her daughter’s cheek. “How long ago did this happen?”

“Did what happen?” Merila asked, bringing her hand up to her face.

“Your skin, it’s changed,” Morana said. “For how long has it been dark?”

Merila gasped. Tears swelled in her eyes as she stared down at the table and dared not look up. Her hands shivered, trembling with the water, brushing it to the side. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out, but a foul stench to which must be cleansed, but that could wait until after dinner. Words came so few, and the rain fall was music enough, in the midst of the tragedy of her daughter’s absence, one of them anyway. The one that chose to run away, for reasons still unknown, but Morana suspected the man had his way with words with her, wooed her away into the far-off land in the north, outside the protection of the forest. Brought her to Moloch, the chief devil of the world. What more could be said really? Now, there was Alanna, but what to do with her? What to do with Merila?

Not too much loudly for her youngest son, daughter, and nephews were asleep upstairs; she said, “Have you words to speak?”

“I don’t know what to say,” she said. But how much longer will she continue to speak the truth until lies depart from her lips again. “I made mistakes.”

“I understand,” she said, sniffing the air. “Perfect, the meal is done, and I’ll have some bread for our dear Alanna. You will speak with your father in this matter.”

“Gorna, time for dinner, please bring Alanna there with you,” she called silently as she took the bowls to the pot.

“Yes,” Gorna came into the kitchen, and sat down across from his daughter. Alanna never wept, not one bit.

One by one, Morana filled the bowls of stew and brought them to the table. They all sat, and they didn’t bother to wake up the younger ones, for they would be surprised to see Merila again, especially in this state, with the pigmentation of the skin. This had to be dealt with care, and no small amounts of patience. She sat next to Merila, who was now on the inside of the seat closest to the window, and hopefully, in a way not unkind to her, she was stuck, but the wandering question inside her mind was, how could she show that despite of how she was, she was still loved by her family?

The very next day, Alanna was baptized.

[kyberphilosopher]

Smile

Word Count: 3467 Requested: yes. Based off ‘505′ Warnings: strong hints to sexual disposition. Spoilers if you squint.

“I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck... I did last time I checked.” -Arctic Monkeys, ‘505′.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

With hoarse breath and unwavering eyes, you look up to the stars as you speak. “So, you’re really going to do it then?”

“I have to,” you hear him say. His voice has gotten far more mature and calm since the first time you’d heard him speak. Still angry and determined, but in an intelligent, adult way. Eren is a more capable person now. The only thing left to do is wait and see if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. 

“What do you think are the chances of winning?” you question. A shooting star whizzes across the sky at that very moment, and it’s gone before you can think of a wish. 

You turn around to face him, but his eyes are already on you. Once upon a time, Eren’s eyes were emerald and teal and deep. Now they’re paler. They are cold and steady as a byproduct of who he’s become. It’s hard not to wonder what he’s thinking about when he looks at you like this, especially since he’s become harder to read over the years.

At first, Eren was one of the most insufferable people you’d ever met. He acted out so often, it was hard to see him as another person of intelligent life. You mostly just minded your business through your cadet years, usually hanging around Reiner, who was also difficult to see as intelligent life. Sometimes you and Eren would argue, but it was never passionate. You just had different world views. 

Things got better when you found out what Eren really was. Since you hadn’t made top ten, you could only choose between the Garrison Regiment, or the Scout Regiment. And with Eren’s newly discovered power showing the promise of hope, you decided on the Scouts. He liked that. 

After that, it was hard not to mature at the same time as he. Eren often blamed himself for the death and carnage that surrounded the regiment. You were solely responsible for the passing of your best friend. And after everything that happened with the government, almost dying at Shiganshina- you knew you couldn’t stand this much longer. With your relationship with Eren still budding in its early and steamy stages, he was the only one you told of your desertion. You abandoned the corps, finding a small, abandoned farm within wall Maria to hide out in. 

Eren was too tired and sick of everything to think you were being cowardly. He wanted to leave too. Maybe come with you. But Eren had plans in the works that he couldn’t leave alone. He visited you less and less. Luckily you never made a fuss. 

And now Eren wants to end the world, to save the world. How does he expect you to react to this?

“I just thought I should see you,” Eren replies. You know he’s deflecting your question. You’re not stupid. 

You nod slowly, blinking as you think. “Am I going to die?”

Your companion crosses his arms calmly. “Yes,” he tells you. 

There it is. 

“You know I can’t support you in this, right?” you tell Eren, equally as calm. 

He only replies after a moment, also in deep thought. “I know.”

You look back up to the sky, sighing out through your nose. “Why did you come, Eren? Did you want me to tell you that I think you’re doing the right thing? Or was it because you need to let out some anger? I wonder.”

“I did want to see you.”

“Do you still?”

Silence. 

“Yes.”

“And I suppose there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No.”

The stars are glittering with pastel hues, like a rainbow, or kaleidoscope. Each one is a different size, bordering on different shapes, all fusing and melting together like your idea of heaven. You can barely even see the midnight color of the sky through all them. It is beautiful, but it’s also bitter. Everything is bitter, here. 

“I didn’t make myself any dinner yet,” you say. “Couldn’t think of anything.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

When she was alive, Eren’s mother would make a soup for the family. It was creamy, hot, filled with meat and cheese at the bottom. Eren never liked soup, but he did love that dish. She was always sure to make extra for him, so that he could enjoy it for several days. And although it wasn’t until after she was gone that Eren realized he rarely ever thanked her for it, it was still one of the warmest memories Eren had. 

He fills your wooden bowl with it, being awfully generous. He knows that even though you haven’t eaten much in the last few years, you too had grown fond of the soup. He knows no matter how slowly you force it down, you are enjoying it. It burns the roof of your mouth every time, but you’ve never cared. All that matters is the creamy sauce, and the cow cooked to perfection. 

You stare at the fireplace beside you, flames cackling and licking upward. Eren sets the bowl in front of you, and takes the seat on the other side. You know he sets his long hair behind his shoulders. You’re already prepared. From your pocket, you produce a stretchy brown hair tie on the verge of snapping, handing it to him. 

“Thanks,” he says, even though this routine has happened however many times he’s seen you. 

“You’re welcome.”

The soup is as amazing as usual. You’re willing to bet Eren makes it even better than his mother did, but you dare not say it aloud. It’s creamy, perfectly seasoned. It goes down your throat, still steaming. 

“Does Mikasa know about this?” you question, taking one more delicious bite. 

“No. None of them do,” Eren answers. “Armin will figure it out soon.”

“You want me to kill ‘em?”

Eren shakes his head. To a lot of people, this would be taken as a joke. But this is nowhere near it. Your tone is too casual, too low for it to be humor of any kind. And the way the man across from you reacts- he’s thinking the same thing. 

“No.”

“How are they, then?”

Eren thinks as he takes another bite, the warmth creeping up his chest sweetly. “They’re alright for now. I don’t know for how much longer. I can’t see everything.”

“Can you see who’s next?”

He squints at his bowl as if he were angry, but his eyebrows barely move. “Sasha.” 

Sasha. She was always a good presence to have around. While she seemed like the type of person who would annoy you, it was hard to hate her. And you admired her keen intuition anyway. 

“Will you give her something for me?”

Eren nods. Then you both go back to eating for a few seconds, basking in the orange glow from the flames. 

“How are things here?” he questions after a minute. 

“The same,” you tell him. “I think the cow might die soon.”

Some people might reply with condolences, or sympathy. But your lover does not, and you do not expect him to. “I’ll get you a new one,” he says flatly, almost like a promise. You nod once.

Despite the atmosphere which can only be described as bitter, you’re glad to see Eren again. You’re glad that he’s alive, and as alright as he can be. The bed is always colder without him, heated up only by your lingering fingers that you pretend are his every other night. Whenever he leaves an article of clothing behind, usually on purpose, you hold off on washing it so it can smell like him for you as long as possible. Then there are the hair ties you keep either in your pocket or on your wrist, specifically for him. The razors in your cabinet he often didn’t even bother using. 

Even with the sullen demeanor that had managed to overtake both of you, there was at least one thing you cared about in the world still. Maybe it wasn’t the most conventional kind of caring, or the healthiest coping mechanism. But it was still caring. And all that you cared about was him. 

You knew you weren’t Eren’s first priority. You were probably second, or third. It didn’t bother you. Eren’s head was one of the first things lost when the truth was presented to him. It came back coldly and sternly, in contrast to how previously hot and impatient it had been. But by then your head had also grown colder and sterner. In simpler terms, Eren did care for you. He did love you. But he would consider letting you die if it meant achieving what he set out to do, and you knew this. 

Across the table, Eren lifts his head to look up at you as he chews slowly. The burning meal slides down his throat easily, albeit painfully. It doesn’t even register with him, his piercing eyes slowly gaining a glint from the fire light. 

You meet his eyes after a few seconds, feeling them on you. You don’t say a word, don’t even give a questioning look. You just hold him patiently, which is something the two of you find yourself doing often. 

“You can’t stop it,” Eren speaks, looking you dead in the eyes with a steady gaze. There is love behind his eyes, far behind the anger, but you can tell from the tone of voice he is trying to tell you something as if it were an order. Your lips part slightly from the intensity radiating from your lover, who doesn’t move a muscle. “You’ll be free soon.” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Dinner ends. Eren helps clean up the dishes for you and goes to get water from your well so you can clean easier. You already know from the way his thumb brushed against your own when you took the bowls that you’ll likely be bent over the sink in a few minutes, which you don’t mind, but you wonder if he’ll be willing to be softer than usual as an apology for what he’d said earlier. 

He’d meant to scare you. You’re intelligent enough to figure that out. Even though you don’t scare easy, and you didn’t even give an extreme reaction, the look in Eren’s eyes had made your heart drop to your stomach. Sometimes you forget that Eren sees everything. Then he says something like that to remind you in the most memorable way. 

The wooden door opens and closes behind you. Boots scuff the ground for a few seconds, drawing closer and closer as something in you sparks with anticipation, as it always does. A pail of water hits the surface beside you, partially sloshing over the sides, shining silver in the moonlight from the tall window in front of you. Finally, ultra hot hands slide around your waist and push gently but tightly against where your ribs diverge. 

A jaw leans down on your right shoulder, chin poking against your collarbone. Locks of hair brush against your own, just as the hand on the left runs across your side to finally put a small band in your pocket. 

“I did miss you,” Eren’s low voice seemingly growls, his chest rumbling softly against your back. 

“I was thinking about you,” you admit with monotone, knowing your lover can read through it like as easily as a knife slices through skin. 

“I hope I didn’t worry you,” he says, though you can also read through his own tone. He probably didn’t care about worrying you. He definitely doesn’t still. 

“You didn’t.”

You place a both bowls in the sink, running your fingers over the dirty spoons. Eren’s orbs follow your movement. You can feel his chin change positions ever so slightly in the coming seconds. 

“Can you pass me the rag?” you ask, eyes focused on a piece of food on the spoon that doesn’t even exist. 

In response, Eren doesn’t pass you anything. Only his right hand gives you any kind of acknowledgement, passing from on your ribs to down lower. His fingertips skin over the erogenous zone under the waistband of your undergarments. 

“I worried about you,” Eren murmurs boldly. The hot fingertips pass under the cloth finally, pricks of stubble on his jaw scratching your neck and shoulder as he shifts. “I wanted you to be okay.” His left hand raises to grasp the breast above it. Slowly at first, then firmly, like a warning. Everything is a warning with him. 

Your head lulls back uncontrollably. The back of your hair matts up as it rolls against his own shoulder. 

“I said you worried me,” your partner grumbles. “Did you hear me?”

“No,” you lie lowly, refusing to let your voice shake despite the shiver in your throat. 

“Mm,” Eren hums in condescending understanding. A force presses against your core, which has turned burning hot and ice cold at the same time. The force pulls away, a string of something smooth and slimy following it that makes a sound draw from your lips. It’s high pitched, weak, and unstoppable. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so associated with Eren. 

His hand gives your breast a firm squeeze, soreness blossoming from the center. Your back arches quickly and returns lax against him, though now something pokes against your bottom that makes your eyes pop open with a new alertness. Eren’s hand gives you no time again. From your chest, it flies to your throat, holding it back with soft strictness as the other finally dips into the hot pool between your hips. 

“I worried about you.”

A strangled groan releases from between your lips again, this time fully carried up through the air. To Eren, it must sound like nothing more than music, or background noise. 

Thick cylinders pump inside you to the knuckle. They feel better than your own. They always have. 

It feels good. Full. Tight and fast and like the inside of you is quivering under the weight of something that you can’t see or hear. Eren is like a blanket supporting you from falling over, keeping you upright with his grip and his fingers buried inside of you. Prodding every angle, every spot. Not necessarily romantically, but still lovingly. He has always had this goal during intimacy. Nothing matters but communicating to you just how close he wants to be. 

“Eren,” you choke, a dribble of spit sliding from the corner of your lips. 

“Again,” he hisses in response. His fingers hit a tight spot, making every muscle in your body clench at the same time. 

You don’t say another word, your mouth hanging partially open as you focus on everything around you. And it’s all Eren Jaeger. His smell, his growls, his voice, his breathing, his chest, his muscles, his hair, his anger, his bitterness, his intelligence, his determination. It’s overwhelming. It reminds you of getting swept in one of those waves at the ocean he described to you. He’s yours. No- more likely, you’re his. End of story. 

“I said again.”

“Eren,” you moan.  

His head nuzzles into your neck comfortingly, his fingers pushing faster and harder. You can feel how warm you are, never mind how slick. And the way your own body holds around his digits every time he pulls away is enough to make you all the more warm and slick. 

But then...

What is he doing?

He had said “you’ll be free soon”. And yet, here he is, gripping you tightly as he forces you into the corner of submitting. And yes, it is hot. It arouses you as it always has. But something about it makes your stomach turn into a knot of unpleasantness, in contrast to the other one of liquid pleasure. 

“Eren,” you strain, squirming against him. 

Eren speeds up again. A grunt falls from his own mouth from his own power, and you know he’s getting off almost as much as you are. It doesn’t stop feeling good. Feeling euphoric. 

It’s getting rougher. Rougher and harder and faster, more intense. 

“Eren.”

Another gruff moan from him. 

“Eren! Stop! Stop!”

Eren’s palm softens away at once. It lifts away, his eyes opening and his hand stilling inside of you. He watches you shake as you gaze up to the ceiling, wide eyed. Your thighs sputter, entire body twitching. You didn’t cum. 

His eyes trail over you. You’ve worked up a steady sweat glistening and glowing, shivering and shaking and quaking because of him in the best way. You’re his. His partner, his friend, his ally he knows for a fact he can rely on.

“C-can we... Eren...” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Drips of water dribbling down Eren’s temple. One of your hands are threaded in his brunette locks, holding them back so you can have an uninterrupted view. The other hand is dabbing cloth against his forehead and hairline, bathing him softly. 

He’d gone a while without bathing again. You could tell. Eren’s eyes are glued to yours, deep teal memorizing all the flecks in your own as if he hadn’t a million times over. 

Eren loves you. Dearly. He’d travel all seven hours and forty five minutes just to tell you that. He doesn’t know what made you stop earlier. He doesn’t ask. But he’s not mad. Overall, Eren understands that it doesn’t matter what you asked to stop for. You give the word, he obeys. Not because he has to, but because he loves you. 

Still, he knows something is wrong. You don’t show it. You’re steady, calm, mature, apathetic as always. But in the pit of Eren’s stomach, something brews. A warm, strange feeling of intuition and omniscience. 

“You look very pretty today,” Eren ventures, wondering only of your response. “Did I tell you that?”

Your eyes squint. “Thank you,” you reply back. 

The cloth continues to rub against his skin, cleaning something that probably doesn’t even exist. Dirt, maybe. Eren’s stopped taking care of his skin in the past few years. 

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes squint again. This time, they gloss over with sharp wetness like glass. The eyebrows crease like a break, your bottom lip trembling as you suck it between your teeth. 

He doesn’t know what he was expecting. But your lover wasn’t expecting this. 

Eren hates when you cry. He can remember the first time he’d seen it, but not the most recent. You didn’t cry often- you were strong. Crying over something as useless and flimsy as emotions didn’t seem worth it. So what was this for? What were you about to make Eren break down inside over?

Your hand falls limply from his forehead. Shoulders hunch over in defeat, staring down at the floor as your hair covers over your face. And then the sniffles come, choked out coughs like sobs. 

Eren can see the lightest of bruises he’d left on you from earlier, but you’d never had a problem with it before. No, it was something else. But what?

Silent, your teeth grit together as you wince, tears streaming down your face inexplicably. 

“Earlier w-when you,” you gulp, snot beginning to form, “when you- I did worry a-about you. I- I don’t know why I didn’t...”

You stumble forward. Eren stands from your bath tub to catch you as you slump against him tiredly. 

“I hate it when you go.”

Eren switches positions with you, pushing you down to sit on the edge of the tub. He takes the wet rag from your hand and holds your shoulder back so he can have a good look at you. Then the cloth dabs against your own forehead, just as you had done to him. 

“I hate it here,” you sigh, a single tear drop blurring your vision as it falls finally. 

Your lover moves the cloth from your head to your cheeks, smearing the wetness into your skin and away. They moisten and dry, your eyes red and shiny. Eren tilts your head up under your jaw, creasing his brows and using the towel to clean closer to your eyes. 

“If it helps,” he says, looking straight into your eyes, “you’re crying, but I still think you look pretty.”

You’d be lying if you said that didn’t help even a little, because you love him. 

A soft smile creeps to your lips, your hands dropping in between your thighs. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

No I didn’t reread this lmfao enjoy. Hope I did you justice anon

[arcadejohn127-9]

ALSO- I have a request! Brothers (+royals if you want) reacting to an MC who is extremely affectionate once they like someones- gives hugs, praises often, gives gifts, does their best to help when they can- but if any of this affection is returned they cry. Hard. Because they're emotionally constipated and any affection or love they receive overwhelms them- this also embarrasses them extremely-

Damn.... didn't think I'd feel called out by a prompt request XD it seems my time has come!

I'm guessing royals are Diavolo and barbatos so I added them but if you ever request again and someone you wanted wasn't here, feel free to comment and I'll make sure to add them

Brothers + Diavolo & barbatos with an overly affection MC with issues

Lucifer:

He grew use to your affection ways

The words of praise when you notice he finished a work load

Or when you'd pat his head when he was tired

At first he wondered why you would handle or touch him likes he's a fragile doll but he grew to love how gentle you were

Subconsciously he'd lean his head down whenever he completed a task expecting a head pat

Even if you weren't there but if he's caught he'll just pretend he was tired

Lucifer wasn't always the most affectionate, especially as he rarely shows how much he genuinely loves the people around them

He decided to return the gesture, you recently got a high grade in a class you were struggling in

He patted your head, giving it a light ruffle

"You did good, you're improving alot - it's very promising."

Didn't expect you to start crying, aggressively shoving away your tears

"what's wrong? Did something-"

"I just- this is embarassing- you patted my head and people don't really do that for me and I just-"

"Ah, I see, then I shall do it more often."

"even in public?"

He was never a public man, wanting to get his softer side hidden in the protection of his soul and the walls surrounding his room

But here you were, crying because he simply caressed your cheek

He wants you to be happy and feel as loved as he does

So he'll happily push his walls down for you

"if it means this much to you, then yes but let's keep it appropriate."

Mammon:

"How's my handsome super model?! Did it go well? Aww you look tired, let's get you rested, okay?"

He's so in love

No one has ever made him feel this mooshy and love sick and he's ANCIENT

He's use to his brothers always insulting him - he likes a good tease and making a rude remark about each other but they tend to push it

They hit his Insecurities and think he can handle it because they're demons

But he wasn't always

Then you came along, giving him head pats and words of praise

Always standing up for him

He fell for you so quickly and so hard

He basically turns into a puppy when he's with you

When you left with Satan to get groceries he had to be forced to not go with you, waiting at the stairs for you to come back

As soon as Satan left with even your bags included, he came bolting for you

Leaping into your arms and squeezed you tight, insisting he didn't miss you but just got bored

The way he's nuzzling your cheek says otherwise

When you began crying he immediately panicked

"Did Satan do something to ya?! I swear I'll beat-"

"I'm just not use to others being as affectionate as I am back to me - it's okay."

"Huh?! Well I guess the greatest demon of all time has to be that person, that's me! Don't forget it, okay?! I'm going to smother you."

Mammon is already a touchy person but knows to be respectful, since that day his hands are always on you

Either holding your hand, touching your shoulder, petting your hair or just Hugging you

Levithan:

Levithan isn't one to give or receive when it comes to affection

He tends to get overwhelmed by just a head pat and gets embarassed if his fingers accidentally brush against yours

You're an overly affectionate person

He's a simple man who needs self worth

It's definitely a good duo

You've learned to be more vocal about your praises and affections, still testing the waters with physical touch

But from time to time he'll ask to get a head pat if he's really proud of himself

Has made you call him your little pog champ

"Levi are you- oh sorry you're streaming- I'll just leave these here."

He was confused until he saw the section dish filled with different snacks with a energy drink in the middle

He almost teared up

"No! Stay with me, they'll like you!"

In an act of no thoughts and boldness, he pulled you into his lap

You fell awkwardly and was half straddling half on his side

As soon as you got comfortable you hide your face In his neck forcing back tears

Not wanting to cry on stream

"You're so sweet, levi, I'm sure your followers can agree."

He literally short circuited

Hiding his face in your shoulder as he got flustered

"You're sweeter than me, you're always being nice to me - I really lo- like you for that."

Anyone who watched that stream now ships you - the non believers didn't believe all the stories he told about you but now they had physical proof

That stream was re-upload so many times with comps filled with him gushing about you

Levithan is determined to make sure you never see them but it's too late and you cried with joy in your room

Next time you saw him you kissed his cheek and he immediately melted

Did kiss your cheek back though but did it so quick and harsh that you stumbled backwards

Satan:

Someone being gentle to him????

Someone who doesn't keep away from his because of his sin????

Who??? What??!!

You're the who! he was SHOCKED you were so happy to get close to him and just treat him so kindly

He made a theory on the Devildom detectives group that you're actually an angel but it backfired by demons just telling him he's got feelings for you

He does but he didn't expect to get called out on a whole forum

"You're really smart, thanks for always helping me with my studies - I've found It alot easier to study and remember all my notes now, you're a good teacher!"

He's so smitten with you

You could be saying the most disgusting or insulting thing and he'd still smile and nod

He needed help getting food for this secret but really not so secret pet cat and you gladly accepted to help him

When you two were just spending time together in his room and when suddenly picked up his cat

You didn't think too much of it but grinned when he booped the cats nose onto yours

"thank you for being so kind to me- it means alot."

the cat was like you; overly affectionate so it didn't surprise you when it started gently pawing at your face and giving you little kisses

"I feel embarrassed by admitting this so I'm letting Chaos show how I feel."

He avoided looking at you

It would be for the best as you started crying, taking the cat from his hold and kissing it's head repeatedly

"and that's how I feel about you trying to move through your discomfort and be open with me."

His cheeks are BURNING

Holds your hand throughout the rest of the hang out

Asmodeus:

You're being gentle and affection despite Everyone perceiving him as a sex hungry annoyance?

You're immediately his favourite - sorry Solomon

You always understood his protectiveness over his appearance

Fixing his hair and pushing back stands if you ever pet it

You didn't need to but you always told him you washed your hands before touching his face

You always did these simple things to make him feel at ease

But he loved your touch

No matter any comment he makes; he adores you and just being able to have these tender moments with you

He knew you were special to him when you walked in on him

Barely awake, hair messy, no makeup or moisturizer - he didn't look even the slightest bit appealing

And just smiled, looking at him no differently even when his voice came out tired and croaky

"You're really pretty even when you just wake up, it's so unfair - what's your secret?"

"because it's me, darling! I always look good~"

Internally, he was freaking out about how you liked him at what he deemed - his most unattractive state

So it only made sense he became more touchy and grew closer to you

"are you sure I look good in this? I know you're very up to date with fashion."

"You look stunning, I haven't seen a bad look on you yet, perhaps your charm is just as high as mine."

He was holding your hips, smiling as you both looked in the mirror

He wrapped his arms around you, leaning on your shoulder

"I think you look good all the time, you're just amazing like that."

You tried to hide your tears but he could see them, immediately asking you what's wrong

"Nothing- I just- that means alot coming from you and you're always being so affection towards me....its really nice."

He just hugs you tighter, smiling

"I just treat you how you treat me, you're a real angel."

Beezlebub:

This guy is worried about so many things

He's scared of hurting you

He's worried if he gets carried away with touching you he'll make you uncomfortable and his gluttony will act up; wanting more of your tender touch until he feels full

The last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable or you feel forced to be affectionate to him because he could throw a fit

He's always ashamed of his hunger tantrums

But when he does do affection it's either carrying you or holding your hand

But was so happy whenever you cuddled hi against him or when you gave him praise

He could spend the whole day with you running your fingers through his hair, telling him he's a good demon and that he means something to you

"Can you finish this for me? I'm not feeling that hungry right now."

You offered your bowl to Beel, he happily took it

As you two spent time with each other he noticed you eyeing some of the more sweeter things set out on the table

He gently pushed it towards you

"Eat if you want it, I'll share."

You waved your hand, not wanting to take food from him

"I'm just snack-ish, I can't eat a meal right now."

You knew how hungry he could get and didn't want to leave him peckish

You knew that small feeling could easily turn into something bigger

But he just nudged it closer to you

"You eat what you want, I'll have what you don't finish."

You finally agreed, knowing he was insisting on you to eat with him

He patted your head, smiling as he watched you eat

"are you sure you won't still feel hungry?"

"you make me feel full, it soothes another type of hunger in me, it's nice."

He grabbed your hand, nuzzling his cheek against it, he couldn't stop smiling as you just looked at him in surprise

You finally grinned, tearing up and shook your head, you leaned against him and continued eating

Gripping his hand tighter as you pushed back your tears

Belphegor:

He was spoilt

Beel was always looking after him, helping him get ready for school and drying his hair, carrying him around when he was too tired to walk

And you were only fueling his spoilt nature

You always showered him in affection

Petting his hair whilst he laid his head on your lap, combed his tail, told him he looked cute

"My precious little belphie, are you feeling okay? I noticed you were struggling to sleep today at lunch."

Whilst he believed he looked intimidating with his heavy bags and sleepy grin

You found him adorable, treating him like a sweet innocent boy on those special nights of just you two cuddling

It's been a long time since he's felt innocent

You were always checking in on him

Making him feel special and cared for

He was a soft mess in your hands

"Hold me more, your hands feel so nice~"

He placed his hands on yours, making you gently squish his cheeks

"Don't you wanna cuddle?"

He raised a brow, a smug smile growing on his face

"it seems you want to."

"we don't have to-"

"If you wanna be held just ask, I'm more than happy to hold you."

He wrapped his arms around you, shifting his position and buried his face into your chest, humming as your hands ran through his hair

He gave you a small squeeze

"It feels good to be the one hugging you, you're always so comfy~"

He began murmuring how much he loves this time with you, drifting to sleep as he praised you, letting himself mindlessly go on about how wonderful and sweet you are until he started to snore

You let your tears fall

Holding him closer as you softly thanked him for his words

He just hugged you tighter in his sleep, his smile growing

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

This man is TOUCH STARVED

the fact you're unafraid to be with him and around him is already amazing but you freely hold his hand and pat his head

He thinks he's knocked his head and been taken to the celestial realm

People are intimidated by his title as prince and having you so care free in his company is new for him

So of course he enjoys how affectionate you are!

He embraces all your touches and praise!

He's even had you sitting on his lap during meetings, letting you hug him after a tiring day of studying

"You did great today, I really felt your passion for this new project, I think the students will really enjoy it!"

He gets so happy everytime you even look his way

Your smile alone fuels him for the whole day

"Meet me in the castle today, there's something I need you to do for me."

You agreed, not thinking much of it; most likely a new update on the school fair

What you didn't expect was to be greeted by shopping bags and gift boxes and even a human sized teddy bear with demon horns, you tried to ignore them as Diavolo came jogging down the steps

"What did you need me for?"

"I want you to see what you like, I bought as much as I could before Barbatos stopped me, I hope they're up to your liking."

You were speechless

You felt as if you touched the gifts you wouldn't be able to hold back; you were excited to see what he got but you didn't want to seem too excited

"Please, go ahead - it's all yours unless something is not up to your liking."

You finally went through the shopping bags; there was clothes, products, jewelry, shoes and all other sorts of items

You hugged the giant close to your chest, choking back on your tears

"thank you-"

"No need to thank me, you're always so kind to me I just wanted to return the favour."

Barbatos:

You were a like a breath of fresh air, someone he could just go to

He can unwind and be rewarded for his efforts and others normally don't notice

Whilst his lord was always praising him, it felt different with you

It felt so joyful

You would brush through his hair, always thank him even if he's just doing his job and always seem to be in awe at what he does

He'll never forget the gloves you gave him, sleek and a perfect fit with a cursive 'B' stitched to the edge - they were enchanted to warm up whenever he got cold

"Wow! You prepared all this?! That must of taken you ages! You're really amazing, Barb."

"I'm simply doing my job but your praise makes it all worth it."

Often invites you to the castle for tea

He'll make any excuse to have you come see him; the prince wants to talk, he wants a hand with a recipe, he needs an outsider's opinion on something

Whatever he can come up with; he will use it

You might as well just stay in one of the guest bedrooms because you're always coming to the castle

Speaking of excuses; today Barbatos decided to thank your lovely behaviour

Convincing you to come to the castle and meet him in the dining hall

"I saw you eyeing some recipes whilst helping me in the kitchen so, I made you them AND wrote down how I did it exactly so you can make them any time you like."

"I- you didn't have to do that! Thank you for this, they look delicious."

"I always wanted to give you this."

You couldn't even ask what it was

He already held it up for you to see

It was a box of gloves with your the first letter of your name stitched onto the edge

They were heat up gloves!

"I thought you'd appreciate your own as they'll always be handy but the gesture of matching with someone you're close to is very appealing."

He helped you put the gloves on, pinching the tip of your fingers to make sure they fitted properly

He held your hand, admiring how it looked in his

You couldn't stop a few tears forming, smiling

You felt abit silly crying over heat up gloves but you couldn't help it

"I want to match with you more often, perhaps one day it'll end up being a ring."

[spiderlilyserendipity]

Obviously, pretty!

JJK x female reader

Tags: established relationship, rainy day sex, washing dishes together, soft domestic things yk, probably the most vanilla smut i’ve ever written on this account hahaha thank u for cleansing my mind with ur request anon, forehead kisses, i didn’t need to tag that but i Needed to tag that u feel me?

Warnings: none

WC: 2137

If there’s anything you know about your boyfriend, it’s that if he can’t go to the gym, he will pout all day.

After going too hard in dance practice, Jungkook ends up too sore to go to the gym one day. His trainer must’ve heard from the choreographer that Jungkook overdid himself, which is why Jungkook’s trainer told him their session for today was cancelled.

“What am I supposed to dooo if I can’t work out on my day off!” Jungkook complains, wrapping his arms around your waist as you wash dishes.

“You could help your wife clean the house.” You joke, knowing it’s your turn to wash dishes anyway since Jungkook made breakfast (or rather brunch) this morning.

You feel Jungkook smile, his cheek fluffing up where it’s pressed against yours. His face gets a little hot whenever you call yourself his wife, but you know he likes it. The two of you are college sweethearts, starting to date in secret shortly after meeting in first year. Fast forward six years and everything has changed. Your doe-eyed college boyfriend is no longer just an idol but part of the most successful band in the world. And not only that, he’s getting a master’s in business, a slightly confusing decision but one that you respect nonetheless.

You yourself have changed, too. You’re now a business woman, working in a skyscraper in Seoul, and doing considerably well for being only two years out of college. You make good money, and Jungkook does too, and you share this high-rise apartment together. Every year, you and Jungkook sneak away to Busan at least once or twice to meet his parents and your own parents have already begun asking when they’re getting grandchildren. So it’s safe to say it’ll only be a matter of time until Jungkook puts a ring on it anyway.

No one knows, but that’s what makes it special.

“Can’t do that.” Jungkook answers, pretending like your flirting didn’t affect him.

You smile as you rinse another plate off. “Why’s that?”

“It’s raining. If I do work while it rains I’ll get sleepy.” Jungkook pouts.

You laugh, rinsing a cloth under the tap and putting it in his hand. “Go wipe down the stovetop. It should be cold by now.”

Obediently, Jungkook lets go of you to do as you said. But you realize he hasn’t let the joke go when he pouts at you. “Okay, work done. Let’s go lay down.”

“Baby, you’ve literally done concerts in the rain.” You tell him.

“I don’t even do concerts. I’m a business major.” Jungkook lies unconvincingly, his cheeks turning pink. You giggle, finishing up the last of the dishes.

“Fine, you big baby. Let’s go lay down.” You take his hand and lead him back to the bedroom. Jungkook shuts the door behind you. You take off the sweatshirt you were wearing to wash dishes (one of Jungkook’s), tossing it aside.

“Babe, that’s not neat!” Jungkook insists, but you whirl around and quiet him with a long kiss.

“You didn’t ask me to come here to do our laundry, Jungkookie. You and I both know that.” You tell him. Jungkook bites his lip, looking at your pretty lips.

“I guess that’s true.” He grins, and you grin back.

You wrap your arms around his neck and Jungkook leans down, picking you up into his arms with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist as he bounces you in place slightly, hands cupping your ass softly. You love many things about Jungkook, but you especially love how special he makes you feel each time.

Jungkook lays you down like a newlywed bride, pressing soft kisses on your cheeks, forehead, even your nose.

You giggle at him and he smiles down at you, warm and safe and entirely Jungkook. “I love you.” You whisper, stroking your thumb along his cheekbone, admiring that little scar on his cheek for the millionth time.

“Not as much as I love you.” Jungkook says, laying himself down on top of you and starting to kiss you again, this time with more passion.

“Hhh, Jungkook.” You whimper, tangling a hand in his hair.

When you separate this time, Jungkook sits up to take off his shirt. You run your hand down his sculpted abdomen, over his sweet, pretty waist and his toned stomach. You sit up to kiss along his chest, making him hiss as you make love marks in places his shirt will cover. No one knows, except you two. And you love it like that.

Jungkook tucks his hands under the light tank top you’re wearing, making you gasp at how cold his hands are. Jungkook laughs under his breath at your reaction. “I told you rainy days are bad for me.”

“Well that’s why I’m here to warm you up.” You joke, which makes Jungkook giggle.

“What would I do without you?” He says exaggeratedly, but his eyes tell you he means it. With that, Jungkook begins kissing along your neck as he works your tank top up. Since it’s just the two of you, you seldom wear a bra around the house. You moan as Jungkook pulls the tank top over your head, then in one swift motion presses you down into the bed.

Jungkook slots his thigh between your legs as he starts kissing you lower. He licks and bites gently at your nipples, making you writhe in pleasure. You watch through half-lidded eyes as he makes love marks on the tops of your breasts and around them, kissing down your stomach to your shorts.

He glances up at you for consent, and you nod.

He pulls your shorts and panties off in one clean movement, tossing them to the side despite having just told you to be neater. You grin at Jungkook’s eagerness, but the smile slides off your face when Jungkook wraps his lips around your clit.

Slowly, Jungkook gets you wetter and wetter until your inner thighs are shiny with arousal. Only when you’re whimpering does Jungkook insert his fingers into you, one to ease you and then a second to stretch you. Even after all this time, Jungkook pays special attention to your body.

He’s so slow and gentle today that you actually get a bit needy. “Jungkookie.” You sigh. Jungkook sits up, knowing that you’re already close.

“I know, baby. You’re doing so well.” Jungkook praises, kissing you all over, down your neck and along your collarbone. You watch as Jungkook takes his sweats and underwear off, then grabs a bottle of lube from the bedside drawer. You stopped using condoms when you moved in together (around two years ago) since you’re on birth control. Jungkook always has you ready to take him after some foreplay, but he’s told you he dislikes doing it without lube.

You watch Jungkook lube himself up, then align himself to your entrance. He places one palm on the side of your waist, kissing you quickly on the forehead. “Ready?” He checks with you again. You nod.

You pant quietly as Jungkook enters, both from arousal and his size. It has been years since you did this together for the first time, but Jungkook’s size is always a surprise to you somehow. You like to be stubborn and say you don’t need lube to take him, but you both know you’d need at least a bit for his size.

You pull him in even closer, burying his head in your shoulder. As he bottoms out, you moan his name quietly.

Jungkook smirks, knowing he has you in the palm of his hand. You pull him in for a kiss, this one full of tongue and passion. Jungkook feels your desperation and lets you have control for a moment, just to let you burn off steam. But then, he’s angling his head in and pressing you into the pillow, and you don’t stand a chance under how good he’s making you feel.

“Baby, I need it.” You beg breathlessly. Jungkook smiles faintly at your shyness to say the word “come” in bed, even after all this time.

“Need what, baby?” He teases you, knowing full well you’ll never use dirty talk unless he pushes you to that point. You whine at his teasing. Jungkook kisses your shoulder. “I’m kidding. I know my pretty girl is too shy for words like that.”

“I’m not shy!” You protest shyly. “We-We’re having sex right now! I’m not shy at all!”

Jungkook snorts. “Great observation, genius. Any other amazingly dirty comments?”

You’re starting to squirm under Jungkook’s intense gaze, knowing you always lose at this game. “I want to have a baby!” You announce.

Jungkook laughs. “Give me time to buy a ring at least.”

You’re shocked. “Really?” You ask, eyes wide like someone who Christmas came early for.

Jungkook flicks your nipple with one hand, making you cry out. “Obviously, pretty.” He says confidently, making you think he’s thought about it before. You blush and Jungkook looks at you like you’re an angel he’s captured in his own hands. “Now if you’re done being raunchy and nasty, can we get off? My hips were already sore but having a conversation in this position is even worse than the gym.”

“Baby!” You gasp, scandalized.

Jungkook pretends to look scandalized too. “I said let me buy a ring first!”

You groan into his shoulder, knowing he won again. Jungkook laughs, then starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts.

You let out little strings of moans and pants as Jungkook continues to fill you up and make you feel good. You wrap your arms around Jungkook’s back, holding him close as he fucks into you. You tilt your head back and close your eyes at the pleasure. All you hear are Jungkook’s moans and the rain falling outside your window. At one moment, you wonder if it’s cold out, but then you realize it doesn’t matter. You’re warmer than anything else in Jungkook’s strong arms.

“J-Jungkook--” You feel the pleasure building, about to come.

“I know, baby.” Jungkook says, laying you down all the way again and holding you under his weight as he picks up his pace. Jungkook looks at you, watching your face tighten at every euphoric thrust. “Doing so well baby, almost there. Fuck, my pretty girl.” He showers you in praise and kisses, words falling from his mouth so fast you know he isn’t filtering any of his thoughts at the moment. You love that too, you love everything about him.

Finally, Jungkook’s hips begin to stutter, and he reaches down to rub your clit. You arch your back as you come, Jungkook filling you up shortly after. As you come down from your highs, Jungkook rolls over onto his side, still inside you. He spoons you, tugging the covers on top for a quiet moment.

You find it surprising since Jungkook is quite fussy about cleanliness, wanting to get you in the shower and to air out the room relatively soon after sex. But today he doesn’t even slip his cock out of you, choosing to be nestled deep inside you. It feels warm, but you like it.

“K-Kookie. Why aren’t we getting cleaned up?” You ask.

Jungkook smiles at your tone with his eyes closed. “If you want to get pregnant we have to keep the come inside, don’t we?” He says. You smack his arms which are wrapped around your waist, making him chuckle.

Jungkook cranes his head to make eye contact with you. You look at his sweaty bangs which Jungkook pushed back from his face near the end but fell back onto his forehead messily anyway. It’s the most beautiful sight you know. “Just kidding. I’m just tired today. We’ll shower after resting for a bit, unless you don’t like this.”

You realize now that Jungkook must truly be exhausted from work yesterday. You cup his face, stroking it quietly. “I don’t… hate it.” You admit.

Jungkook’s eyes darken. “Watch your words, pretty girl.” He warns you. “I only have so much self-control and your dad will beat my ass if I get you pregnant without putting a ring on it.”

“Do you really have to go and mention my dad right now?” You whine. “And anyway, no one can beat your ass. You’re 6 feet of solid muscle and have a sleeve tattoo, no one would try.”

Jungkook laughs. “Okay fair, no more mentioning my father-in-law from now on.” He says, making you groan in complaint again. Jungkook smiles fondly at you. “But you know I meant that, right? I want to marry you someday and have kids and all that. I don’t know when, since you and I are so busy, but maybe when things slow down we can. Okay?”

You snort. “Obviously, pretty!"

[just-jordie-things]

The Crown - Steve Harrington

word count: 4462 warnings: dedicated to @high-functioning-fangirl02 <3

You’d give your life to protect these kids.  

These kids you’ve known since you started babysitting them in the sixth grade.  Back when Mrs Henderson hired you to watch Dustin.  Which essentially meant that you’d watch all of them.  But that was alright, over the past seven years of being their designated babysitter, you’d grown to love them all.

Mike Wheeler, the snarky little love-struck shit that you spent grieving with since losing Eleven.  Lucas Sinclair, the sweet boy with the occasional attitude whom you helped construct his Ghostbusters costume. Will Byers, the full time sweetheart that made you cookies for Valentine’s Day after hearing you complain about being dateless.  And of course Dustin, cute little button nosed Dusty with a trash mouthing tendency, whom looked up to you like a role model.

Hell, you were their role model.  Driving them to and from school, covering for them on late nights so they could finish their D&D tournaments.  Fiercely protecting them a year ago when Hawkins was Demogorgon infested.  Standing up for them when you’d see some upperclassmen picking on them.

Those who dared glance the wrong way towards The Party in your presence, were rumored to run home crying with a bleeding nose and terrified shriek.  You never put down the rumors… because maybe it had happened once or twice…

Over time The Party was no longer just a band of middle schoolers.  It had opened up to their babysitter, being you, a senior girl who had not many other friends.  Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, which the boys always claimed was strictly because of family relations.  Not because Dustin was still harbouring a crush for Mike’s older sister.  The town Sheriff, Jim Hopper, who’d proved himself not to be an asshole, and turned out an alright guy.  Joyce Byers, whom you loved like a mother and whom treated you like her own daughter.  You’d frequently been titled ‘the daughter she wished to have had’ which always raised a snarky response from her sons.  Maxine (just Max.  Never Maxine) Hargrove, a high spirited and not your typical girl that you grew fond of easily.  Especially since she was nothing like her big brother.

And then there was Steve Harrington.  Who… really just was at the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up getting roped into the mess that Hawkins Lab had created.  King Steve, as you’d known him before you’d officially met last year by fluke accident, was always the popular boy that had a pretty girl hanging off his arm.  You weren’t sure why that changed so quickly, why he didn’t put himself out there as much as he used to, didn’t party hard anymore, wasn’t bragging about the new girl he was with that week like he was known for.  Maybe that day, when he walked into the Wheeler’s house right as you Nancy and Jonathan were awaiting the Demogorgon’s arrival, maybe he changed then.

Or maybe it was after he’d been sucked into… whatever this all was… and he changed to keep the secret.  Or maybe it was after Nancy had broken up with him, around the same time he started growing closer to Dustin.

But right now as you watched him directing the kids, you were more aware that he wasn’t King Steve anymore, that you had been before.  Sure, you’d realized somewhere along the way he was different.  But it wasn’t until now that you noticed it completely as it was.

“No listen you little shits, no one, is going anywhere” Steve ordered, holding a wash rag in his hand and pointing it between each of the boys, and girl, that stood in front of him.

“Friggin’ pointless just staying here” Dustin grumbled, walking out of the room whilst still muttering.  Mike groaned loudly, dramatically, and left to the living room with Max and Lucas.  You knew that he was still plotting you get out there tonight.  Consequences and dangers be damned.

You looked to Steve with a sigh, a lazy smile on your lips as you walked past him to go after Dustin.  He watched you go, letting out a breath as well as he put his hands on his hips and standing alone in the hall with his thoughts.

He’d give his life to protect these kids.

“Dusty?” You called gently as you walked into the kitchen, seeing Dustin sitting on the floor against the dishwasher.  Your brows furrowed as you sat across from him by the cabinets.  “You alright kiddo?”

“Would I be sitting in here brooding if I was?” He quipped, though you knew he meant well.

“Sweetheart you’re too adorable to be a brooder” You laughed softly, pulling your knees up slightly.  “A pouter maybe, but not a brooder”

“Thanks y/n” He responded dryly.  You rolled your eyes in response to his sarcasm.

“Come on kid, open up a little.  It’s me” Your words were soft, which did prompt Dustin to consider explaining to you his thoughts.  “Please? If we make it out of this alive I’ll take you to the arcade.  I’ve got a big jar full of quarters I’ve saved up-”

“Okay okay I’ll take the bribe” Dustin caved with a laugh that made your mood lighten.  “Look it’s gonna sound lame and cheesy but… everyone else is helping.  Jonathan and Nance and Mrs Byers and Hopper and Elle, but what am I doing?”

“You’re staying safe” Your answer came out instantly, but it didn’t seem to be the one the boy was looking for.

“No I’m not, I’m sitting on the sidelines, watching everyone else go be heroes and getting hurt.  I’m not doing a damn thing!”

“Hey” You hummed softly, and scooted over closer to put your head on his shoulder.  “You’re a hero Dustin.  Don’t tell yourself any differently.  All of you are, Mike too, and Lucas, and Max, and-”

“Steve?” Dustin offered, and you nodded, looking at him confusedly by the strange tone of voice he used.

“Of course, why’re you looking at me like that?”

“No reason” Dustin shrugged nonchalantly, brushing off the uncomfortable air between you both.

“Alright well, you should believe me” You continued.  “Even if you don’t think so, you’re all my heroes, got it Henderson?” The boy smiled and nodded, prompting you to push the cap of his hat down playfully before he could get up and leave the room.

“Mike’s probably still planning his attack” He told you, but you shrugged and waved a hand.

“Let him plot and brood” You said, and Dustin’s mouth fell open.

“How come Mike can brood but I can’t?” You rolled your eyes, still waving your hand for him to get out of here.

“Just go plot with him, I know you’re itching to” You said, and he grinned wide at you, glad you were letting him go plan their escape and attack.

“Thanks y/n!” He called, already racing out of the room.  “You’re the best!” You laughed, shaking your head as you stood back up and dusted off the pants of your overalls.  Steve came in a few moments later, watching you almost suspiciously.

“What?” You questioned, and he shrugged, shaking his head.

“Nothing.  Just wondering why you’re permitting them to conspire against us” He said.

“They’re not conspiring, they’re just discussing.  No harm in that”

“Um, every harm in that.  As in all of us, being harmed, because of that” He said, but you didn’t really seem to care what he thought about it.

“They’re fine, we’re all fine, don’t freak out so much mom” You said, walking out towards the kids and seeing them all circled up and discussing their big plan.

“I’m not a mom” Steve argued, and you chuckled, turning to see him, his dish rag on his shoulder, hands on hips.  It only made you laugh more.

“Mhm, alright.  Well then what would you call yourself?” You replied sarcastically, nodding towards his own stance, and making Steve second guess himself.

“This- you-! Alright whatever just stay away from the windows and go be safe somewhere” He muttered, walking into the living room where the kids were.  You rolled your eyes again, but couldn’t help the smile on your lips.

Perhaps, you thought, King Steve was the king of something else now.

You watched as he was waving his rag at the kids again, yelling at them for plotting behind his back, and reminding them that no one was going anywhere.  But even as Dustin pouted, Steve was rubbing his hand over the thirteen year old’s head.  Almost soothingly, like he felt bad for ending their little meeting.

“What a mom” You mumbled, and headed back into the kitchen for something to eat.

You used to resent Steve, back when he was the king of school and didn’t care about anything more than he cared about his popularity and his hair.  Back when he didn’t give a shit about pretty much anything.  And looking at him now and seeing him watch over these kids, you could physically feel your heart swelling.  If that isn’t character development, you weren’t sure what was.

You weren’t sure why it made you feel so bubbly either.

“Listen runts, we’re staying here, we’re staying safe, and we’re not dying!” Steve said, for what felt like the fifth time.  But Mike kept arguing back at him.

“Everyone else is out there!”

“Everyone else knows how to fight all that shit!” Steve retorted.  “We are staying, here” He repeated slowly, waving his rag between each word.  “You got that?”

“You’re just saying that cause y/n’s here.  If she wasn’t here, we’d all be getting in your car and going!” Lucas spoke up.  Your brows furrowed at that.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, ignoring your search for food and now strutting into the room where everyone else was.  “Am I dragging you down?” You asked, almost sarcastic, but wondering what he’d actually meant by his announcement.  Were you dragging them down?

“No, Steve would just protect your ass over our asses” Max shrugged, and the others nodded.

“What the hell? Everyone here is protecting their own asses, I’m not getting killed for a bunch of kids!” Steve said, making flustered and jerky movements.  You brushed off their newly sprung argument over where Steve’s bat is swinging and who it’s swinging for.

Apparently, The Party was certain that he’d die for you, rather die for them.  But you didn’t care much about what they thought.  They’d always thought that you and Steve were meant to be some power couple, but you supposed it was just cause you were the same age and the kids only ever saw you two together.  There was no real evidence (as far as they showed) towards the ‘chemistry’ you and Steve supposedly had.

You wandered to the window, curiously looking out it with your arms wrapped around yourself.

“Will you just shut up?” Mike’s yelling made you jump a little, and you turned to see your friends all still arguing with each other.  You smiled slightly, meeting Steve’s eyes as he gave you a bored look.  You just laughed a little bit back at him.  Steve’s expression softened into a small smile.  Your face flushed with heat, and you nervously turned away from him to look back out the window again.

A light blinded you almost instantly, making you squint your eyes and put a hand over them to try and clear your vision.

“What the hell?” You muttered, leaning closer to the glass to see what was going on.  Headlights, there was a car here.  Someone was here.  “Steve?” You called, not turning away from the window.  He came over right away, looking outside to see a familiar Camaro parked in the driveway.

“Shit” He grumbled, walking towards the front door.

“What- where are you going? Who is it?” You asked, following quickly after him, but Steve quickly turned to make you stay back.

“Just stay in here-”

“Sinclair!” A voice hollered from outside, and you jumped, eyes widening as you recognized it.  “I know you’re in there!”

“Billy?” You whispered to Steve, who nodded.  You stepped backwards, eyes never leaving Steve’s.  “What’s he doing here?” Your voice was quiet.

Billy Hargrove, was the most vile, horrible person you’d ever met.  And his wicked ways of bending people to his will, shook you intensely to your core.  It was no secret to the others that Billy not only terrified you, but would seductively torture you every day.  Sure, you’d been picked on before, but this was different.  Every day he’d come to you, hoping to get something out of you, just to mess with you.

“Come on babe, a little kiss, just a little one, we can discuss the rest later”

“You don’t want to get a ride home with me and have some fun?”

“When’re you finally gonna give this up and just put out?”

You shuddered slightly, practically feeling his hot breath against your skin just thinking about the things he’s said to you.  Stopping you in the hallways, finding you at your locker, approaching you while you waited at Steve’s car for a ride home.

“I know you’re in there you little pig! Come out here or I’ll have to go in!” His voice was dangerous, threatening.  And you felt a legitimate fear for your life, and the kids’.

“It’s fine, you’re fine, I promise” Steve said quietly, out of earshot of the others.  “All of you stay here, stay away from the windows” He ordered, giving you one last look before you turned and went to The Party.  They needed you right now, all huddled around Lucas and Max to make sure if Billy were to look inside, he wouldn’t see them.

“Come on guys” You said softly, ushering them as far away from the window as you could.  Steve, on the other hand, opened the door and stepped outside.

Instead of hiding in a room, completely out of sight of the maniac, you all ducked under the windowsill to see what was happening.

“Am I dreaming or is that really you Harrington?” You felt your entire body quivering upon hearing Billy’s voice.  Dustin, who was crouched next to you, turned and gave you a worried look, but your eyes were dead set on the outside.

“Yeah it’s me, don’t cream your pants” Steve responded, walking out towards him as he pulled off his leather jacket.

“What’re you doing here amigo?” Billy asked, the cigarette hanging off his lips moving as he spoke.

“I could ask you the same thing” Steve responded, void of emotion.  “Amigo”

“Lookin’ for my step sister.  Little birdie told me she was here”

“Huh, that’s weird I don’t know her” Steve lied easily, and convincingly.  You prayed to God that Billy believed him.

“Small? Redhead?” Billy replied disbelievingly.  “Bit of a bitch?”

“Ashole” Max muttered to herself inside.

“Doesn’t ring a bell, sorry buddy” Steve replied, still not sounding like he cared even an inkling.  Billy nodded, taking out his cigarette.

“You know… I don’t how this, this whole situation Harrington is um.., it’s giving me the heebie jeebies” Billy said, looking at Steve a little more threateningly.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“My thirteen year old sister goes missing all day, and then I find her with you” Billy pointed accusatory hands towards Steve, giving him a disgusted look.  “In a strangers house” He continued.  “And you lie to me about it” Steve chuckled bitterly, shaking his head and looking away for a moment.

“Yeah, maybe you were dropped too much as a child or what” Steve said snarkily.  But Billy just grinned his twisted grin and licked his tongue over the front of his teeth.  “I don’t know what you don’t understand about what I just said”

You felt a chill go down your spine as Steve’s protectiveness took over his tone.  Dustin beside you mumbling a quiet, “Holy shit”

“She’s not here” Steve said carefully.  Billy nodded, looking pointedly towards the window where you and The Party were all huddled and looking out of.

“Then who’s that?” He asked, pointing his cigarette towards his sister.

“Down!” You hissed, and the five of you dropped to the floor so fast you all groaned from the impact of the floor.

“Shit!” Dustin cursed.  “Did he see us?”

“Oh shit” Steve grumbled.  “Okay listen-” Billy pushed him to the ground before he could explain anything.  The boy kicked him, before storming up into the house.

“Well well well” Billy smirked, seeing you and The Party standing there together, you in front of all of them.  “y/n l/n, what a lovely little surprise” You grimaced, but he didn’t seem to care.  “And Lucas Sinclair, not so much a surprise at all” You moved over more in front of Lucas, who’s hands grabbed onto your arm out of fear.  “I thought I told you to stay away from him Max”

“Billy, go away” Max retorted, but her voice wavered.

“You disobeyed me” Billy leaned over his step sister tauntingly.  “And you know what happens when you disobey me” He added in a hushed, volatile voice.

“Billy-”

“I break things” He uttered, before pushing you aside, crashing your body into the wall.  Before slamming Lucas up against the cupboards.

“Billy stop!” Max and the others began to yell, Dustin rushing over to help you up, but you were already standing up on your own.

“Get off of me!” Lucas cried.

“Since Maxine won’t listen to me, maybe you will” Billy muttered.  “You stay away from her.  Stay-! Away from her” He yelled awkwardly.  “Do you hear me?”

“I said get off me!” Lucas screamed again, followed by a knee between Billy’s legs.  You gasped, feeling a moment of pride as Billy stumbled back and released him.

“You are so dead Sinclair!” Billy hollered.  “You’re dead-”

“No” Steve grabbed Billy by the shoulder, spinning him around roughly.  “You are” And with that he swung his fist and planted it hard enough against Billy’s jaw to make him topple over.

“Steve!” You yelped out of surprise.  He looked at you for a moment, nodding in reassurance as he shook out his hand.  It’d been a while since he’d hit anybody.  Billy stood back up, laughing menacingly.  “You’re a fucking psycho!” You screeched before you could stop yourself.

“Looks like you got some fire in you after all huh!?” He yelled at Steve.  “I’ve been waiting to meet this King Steve everybody’s been telling me so much about” He stepped closer to Steve, glaring at him.

“Get out” Steve muttered, pushing Billy’s chest lightly to move him away from him.  Billy stepped back and stood there for a moment.  And after a few seconds passed you were certain that he was going to stay back.

Until he swung swiftly at Steve, but missed as Steve ducked just in time.  You gasped, clapping your hands over your mouth in terror.  Steve stood back up and swung his fist again, hitting Billy and making him stumble again.

“Yes! Get him Steve!” Dustin cheered, and the others began to as well.  You couldn’t find yourself to say anything, just wince every time a punch was made.  Steve hit him two more times, and Billy ran into the kitchen sink.  Leaning back and wincing in pain.

“Kill him! Kill him!” Mike was yelling.  But Billy grabbed a plate of the counter, smashing it over Steve’s head, and making him fall to the ground.

“Steve!” You screamed now, taking long strides to get over to him, only to be pushed away by Billy.  Who hit Steve as soon as he stood up again.  He grabbed Steve by the shoulders, staring him down.

“No one.  Tells me what to do” He muttered angrily, and threw his head forward hard into Steve’s knocking him down again.

“Fucking hell” You mumbled, tears beginning to prick your eyes in fear that Billy was actually going to kill Steve.  The mullet wearing psycho leapt onto Steve, pinning him down and swinging punch after punch against his face.

“Stop it!” Mike yelled at the top of his lungs, but it did nothing to end Billy’s attack.

“Steve!” Dustin hollered.

You stood frozen, every scene in front of you soundless, and moving slowly.  You could only feel your heart in your chest, sending you into an anxiety attack, you were sure.  But it barely mattered to you in that moment.  You turned away, and your eyes landed on something.

The syringe used on Will earlier.

Sleep… put him to sleep… your thoughts were broken as you reached for it, looking at it in your hands for a few seconds, before stepping forward and slamming the needle into Billy’s neck without a hesitation.  Mike and Dustin gasped, standing back.  Everyone’s eyes stuck on the syringe hanging out of BIlly’s neck now.  A disgust filling them up at the sight.

“Shit y/n” Dustin mumbled, his hand covering his mouth to stop vomit from flowing.

Billy stood up, wobbling slightly as he turned to look at you.  He pulled the needle out of his neck, vision beginning to fail.  “The hell is this?” He asked, trying to step towards you threateningly, but he was wobbling so much you didn’t even move.  No longer afraid of him.

“You’re fucking done Hargrove” You muttered, and before thinking twice to second guess yourself, punching him across the jaw, and sending him back on his ass.  Billy groaned, staying down where he’d fallen against the couch.

“Shit what did you do” He mumbled, growing dizzy from the mix of drug and pain.

A few moments later he completely passed out.

“Fuck” You hissed in pain, putting your bruising knuckles against your mouth.  You didn’t think punching someone would hurt so damn much.

“y/n holy shit”

“Are you okay?”

“That was badass!”

The Party was fussing and cheering for you, but you didn’t respond, kneeling down by Steve next and counting up all the cuts and bruises he was beginning to sport.  He was unconscious, that was for sure.  But he’d be in for a world of hurt when he woke up.

“Come on, help me get him back to Jon’s bed” You called to the kids.

It was difficult moving him, but after ten minutes you’d managed to get him into Jonathan’s room to lie on the bed there.  You were sat next to him, a cold wet rag in your hand, and the open first aid kit on the ground.  It took you awhile to clean off all the blood and apply bandages where you thought they were necessary.  There was a frozen bag of peas you’d put over one of his eyes to stop the swelling, but so far it still looked pretty bad.

The Party had sat with you for what felt like a long time before you told them to go back to the living room and wait for the others to return home.  Dustin put up a small fight about it, but eventually gave in and listened to your order.  And now it was just you kneeling on the ground by Steve, watching over him carefully.  Making sure he was breathing okay, and that nothing would begin to bleed again.

“Well King Steve, you got quite the ass kicking” You mumbled, just to yourself.  Your fingers placed a few stray hairs on his forehead back into place.  “But your crown is still there” You smiled to yourself, fingertips gently brushing his hair.

“y/n?” Your eyes looked back at him as he mumbled, almost incoherently.  “What happened?” The poor boy’s eyes weren’t even open.

“You put up a really good fight” You told him softly.  He winced, the pain probably beginning to settle in.

“Did I win?” He groaned, eyes clenching shut momentarily.  You bit down on your lip and shook your head, even though he couldn’t see you.

“You put up a really good fight” You repeated yourself, playing with his hair again.  Steve sighed, knowing the answer.

“Is he gone?” He asked, eyes finally beginning to flutter open.

“Yeah… yeah he won’t be back any time soon, I’m sure” You answered.  Steve looked up at you, smiling down gently at him.  He smiled back instantly, and moved his arm to push your hair back, but even at it’s slight movement you winced in pain.  “You’re in pretty bad shape” You told him quietly.  “But you’ll heal up alright”

“Are you okay?” He asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine” You shrugged slightly.  “We’re all really worried about you.  Dustin thought you were dead” Steve chuckled painfully, shaking his head a little bit.

“Are they alright? Max and Lucas?”

“Yeah, we’re all good Steve” You hummed with a slight nod.  You leaned forward, a little closer to him to check on the eye swelled under the bag of peas.  You frowned, seeing the black and blue bruise that only seemed to be spreading.

“I’m alright, don’t fuss so much” Steve said, putting his hand over the bag and pushing it back against his face.  Your eyes met his for a moment.

“You’re pretty bruised up Harrington” You sighed, taking the wet rag in your hand and dabbing it gently on his bruised cheek.  “There’s not an inch of your face spared”

“It’ll be fine, I’ll heal up”

“Years from now, maybe” You replied sarcastically, and he smiled at you while you carefully pressed the cold cloth to his face.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He murmured, and you looked at him for the briefest of seconds before going back to work.  Now is not the time to talk about feelings, you thought to yourself.

“Yeah? Go play hero some more and you’ll never see anything again” You told him, and he shrugged slightly, not having a response to that.

“I just wanted to remind you.  In case you haven’t been told in a while” He said.  You bit on the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling too much.  You looked down at him, your eyes softening slightly.

You leaned over closer to him, pausing for a moment before pressing your lips lightly against his.  It was a chaste kiss, only lasting a few seconds as you didn’t want to hurt him anymore than he already was.  When you pulled back, you smiled nervously at him, and he only smiled back at you.

“You’re lucky you didn’t die Harrington” You said, and got right back to work on pressing the rag to his wounds.

“That I am” He replied cheekily.

You giggled softly, smiling down at him and wondering just when he’d changed so much.

You knew he’d give his life for these kids too, just like you would.

love me some babysitter steve

xoxo ~ jordie

[the-writer-ofthe-fandoms]

Emergency Visits (Bucky Barnes)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Words: 4.5k+

Warning(s): SMUT! Oral (Reader recieving), fingering, penetration, fluff!!! (Cringe warning too)

A/N: HONESTLY, idk why i had the courage to write smut but I did. THE ORIGINAL ONE-SHOT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE SMUT LMFAO also yall know I am a sucker for crossovers SOOO the timelime for TFATWS is off in this because Frank Castle is in here and I wrote most of this before episode 5 <3 

Summary: Bucky, Sam, and Zemo need a place to lay low in while in the States and you're their most trusted person they know. What was not predicted was your vigilante friend needing medical help that same night. 

--------------------------------------------

You were a former Avenger. You were highly trained in combat but your purpose was to help any wounded comrade or citizen when you and the team were called in. The fighting days were pretty much over for you after the last battle with Thanos. You still used your medical knowledge to work at the different hospitals in New York City and helped Matt Murdock or Frank Castle with any wounds. Rarely you'd help with some vigilante work, but you rather sit out and keep to a less violent life.

You were mindless watching whatever Netflix suggested to you on a breezy night in your humble apartment in New York. It has been a rather boring few nights for you compared to more hectic ones, given your vigilante friends weren't getting as hurt as usual and didn't need discreet medical care.

Your cellphone ringing next to you snapped your attention away from your binging of a John Mulaney  stand up show (good choice Netflix). You looked at the caller idea and swore your heart fluttered ever so slightly.

James Buchanan Barnes was calling.

You had spent many months in Wakanda with him as Shuri worked tirelessly to get rid of Hydras grasp on his mind. Your main focus was learning new information on medicine but you always made sure to visit Bucky. You both got pretty close... Light touches, lingering hugs, and often staring at each other when the other wasn't looking became a commonality. It was obvious feelings of love were blossoming for you, but you weren't fully sure if he felt the same.

After the battle you both stayed in contact, but he decided to reside in D.C. while you laid roots back in the familiarity of New York. You both made sure to visit each when possible, but it had been about a month and a half since you last saw him.

"Hey, Buck." You smiled, answering his call. "It's been a few days, usually you make sure to call every other night. Are you okay?"

"I..." You heard him sigh, making you sit up straight.  "I need a favor, doll."

"Of course, you know I would do practically anything for you."

"That applies to me too right?" You heard Sam in the background, making you chuckle.

"Yes, it does Sam. How are you?"

"I've been better, these past few days have been rough but I'll let Stare-a-tron explain it to you." You heard a wack and an 'ow' come from Sam.

"So..." Bucky started but didn't continue.

"So...?"

"So, have you paid any attention to the news regarding Munich?"

"I have now connected the dots."

"What?"

"You broke a certain terrorist out of jail didn't you, James." You groan. When you saw the news about Zemo you couldn't possibly connect it to Buck and Sam, but with this call and a need of a favor instantly made you realize.

"Technically, (Y/N), he broke himself out."

"Do I need to slap some sense into you? He killed King  T'Chaka. He broke up the Avengers--"

"I know, I know." You heard him sigh. You listened in closer and heard some background traffic noise that sounded like the streets of New York. "Listen, we need a place to lay low for a bit in the States and your the only person I can one-hundred percent trust. I can't tell you more on the phone but please-"

"Yes, yes of course Buck. You guys, well minus Zemo, are welcomed here for whatever reason. Do you need me to text you the address?"

"Nah, we are actually about to enter your apartment building."

"Well hurry up so we can decide on take out." You chuckled and hung up the phone. You only had to wait a few minutes before you heard knocking at your door. Wasting no time you opened the door as fast as you can and practically tackle Bucky into a hug.

He chuckled gently, "I missed you too, doll."

You released him from your hold and grinned as Sam. "Come here Sam, I haven't seen you in a few months." You pulled him into a less dramatic but friendly hug.

"Good to see you too, (Y/N)." Sam and Buck made their way into the apartment leaving you faced to face with Zemo.

"Hello." You greeted, offering a differential handshake.

"Hello, (Y/N). I hope all is well." He accepted the short handshake and gave an equally differential smile before entering your apartment.

"Welcome to my humble abode, make yourselves at home here. I have two bedrooms so we better discuss sleeping arrangements-"

"Easy, I call dibs bunking with you while Wings and Zemo stay in your spare room." Bucky interrupted.

"Hold up, why can't you stay with creepy-magee? I'm sure you two would love to stare at each other." Sam argued.

"Because I called dibs, isn't that right Doll?"

"He did call dibs, Sam." You shrugged and laugh at his look of betrayal.

You heard Zemo start to speak but Sam beat him to it, "You don't get an opinion." Zemo simply put his hands up and surrendered while the other two kept arguing about the concept of dibs.

"Anyways I'll order some Chinese food and we can discuss why you three are here over dinner."

--------

Your mind was blown.

Bucky and Sam filled you in on Isaiah, the return of super soldiers, why they needed Zemo, and the issues they had with the New Captain America. You also almost chastised Bucky for missing his mandated therapy session but decided to keep eating your food and let him continue.

"Wow, that is fucking nuts. Super soldiers, huh?" You sigh. As much as you didn't want to, you had a feeling they would need your help with fighting. After all you fought along with the original Captain America, so you picked up ways to fight super soldiers.

"Yeah, after Madripoor we need to lay low. Hopefully no one spotted us." Sam said, starting to pick up his dishes. Everyone seemed to follow suit and you were about to speak again when you heard knocking at your door.

"Hey, can you take these  for me? I'll go answer the door." You slid your stuff towards Buck who looked at you worried.

"Do you want one of us to answer the door with you?"

"Nah I should be fine, it's probably Mrs. Espinoza looking for her sons cat." You waved him off, making your way to the door. You unlock your locks and crack open the door.

There stood Frank fucking Castle, covered in an obscene amount of blood while using  the wall for support.

"Hey..." He greeted with a hoarse voice and a weak attempt of a smile.

"Holy shit, Frank." You said barely above a whisper. "Fuck, can one you guys come here?!" You shouted, opening the door wider while taking one his arms over your shoulder.

"What the hell, (Y/N)?" Bucky looked at you and the blood soaked Punisher with bewilderment.

"I'll explain in a bit! Just help me take him to the couch. Sam go get my medical bag, it's in my closet in the room on the left! Zemo clear everyones stuff from the couch." You barked out orders while you and James carefully led Frank to the couch. When Zemo cleared it off and Sam came running out with your bag, you both laid him down on the couch.

With no hesitation you quickly wash your hands and prepare your equipment.

"Are you going to tell us what the hell is happening right now, (Y/N)?" Buck asked.

"I am also wondering why we have a beaten guy on your couch." Sam's face was full of worry.

You sigh and begin removing Franks clothes to look for any life threatening wounds. "This is the Punisher. If you haven't kept up with the more lower level news he is one of the vigilantes."

"That doesn't explain why he is here."

"I... I am friends with him and Daredevil. I patch them up so they can avoid the hospital." You see a bullet wound on his side, it was bad but it was manageable with an exit wound. "One of you hold him up so I can stitch his back."

Bucky immediately joined your side, using his enhanced strength to hold up Frank.

"You gonna introduce me to your friends here, (Y/N)?" Frank rasped. "I gotta know whose cold ass hand is touchin' me."

"I'll introduce you to them later, let me get you stable."

-----

After what felt like hours, you finished dressing a gash on his thigh. You peel of your bloodied gloves and get up from kneeling on the floor. You helped sit Frank up so he can get a good look at whose here.

"Frank, this is Sam Wilson and James Barnes. I worked and fought with them as an Avenger." You gesture to the two. You saw him eyeing Buck before giving you a knowing look. You both were friends after all, he knew of your feelings towards Bucky.

"Who's the guy in the pimp coat?" He grunted and gestured towards Zemo, who rolled his eyes.

"Baron Zemo. Escapee prisoner."

"Zemo? As in the guy who bombed the UN? Do you need me to-"

"No Frank, they need him alive." You chuckled.

"Well, it's good to put faces to names. Especially yours, James." Frank spoke, nudging you. "I'll get my spare clothes and rinse off the blood now, something tells me the guest room will be taken." You were going to protest but knew Frank was too stubborn to listen. The four of you watched him make his way to the guest room before closing the door.

"Oh so he knows about us but we don't know about him?" Sam arched a brow at you. Bucky stayed silent, clenching both his fists.

You sigh, "I am sorry for not telling you guys. I didn't keep my involvement with vigilantes away from you both on purpose, I promise."

"Can we trust the Punisher? Will everything be safe with all of us here?"

"You don't have to worry about me talking." Frank came out of the room in new clothes, using a damp towel to wipe his face. "(Y/N)'s stuck her neck out for me countless times. I owe it to her."

"If (Y/N) trusts you then we trust you."

"As much as I want to stay up, I think it is best we get some sleep. Tomorrow we can talk more." You stretch and yawn and everyone seemed to agree. Castle put a pillow on the couch and grabbed a spare blanket you had lying around.

"C'mon man you can have the bed. You look like you got the shit beaten out of you." Sam said.

"Nah it's fine. I'm a light sleeper. I can stay out here in case he," Castle pointed to Zemo, "tries somethin'."

"C'mon Buck, your rooming with me." You smile and grab his non-vibranium hand.

"I don't want to share a room with Zemo." Falcon groaned

"Bucky did call dibs after all."

You said goodnight to Sam, and gave Frank a quick hug goodnight before you and James went into your bedroom, a duffel bag in his hand.

James was feeling jealous. He didn't want to admit it but watching how friendly you were with Frank Castle made his feelings worse.  He could pick up the familiarity between the two of you and how easy you were able to talked to him. Frank was someone in your life Bucky didn't know existed.  How close were you to the Punisher?

Thoughts of you and Frank entered his head but he quickly tried to dismiss them. It made his chest ache just thinking about you and another man. Yeah, Buck was smitten with you. But the feelings of self-doubt and guilt always made it hard for him to confess. With the addition of Frank? Made it almost impossible.

"You can use the bathroom to change while I cahnge out here." Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He nodded silently, clenching his jaw, while entering the bathroom.

Your stare lingered at the door before you quickly put on a different set of comfortable clothes, discarding your previous clothes to the floor. You picked up on his sudden quietness and you hoped he wasnt truly mad at you. With a quiet sigh you slid under the blankets of your bed and waited for Bucky so you could get to bed. You and Bucky have shared the floor and bed before, and you were able to keep it together.

But after everything that has happened, after finally seeing him after almost two months, it made you feel nervous. You weren't sure if it was exhaustion or stress, but your feelings for Bucky suddenly felt overwhelming.

If that wasn't enough, you felt like your face was burning when he stepped out from the bathroom, wearing just his boxers and dogtags.

"I, uh, hope you don't mind. I found sleeping without a shirt easier to deal with nightmares. Helps cool me off."

"No, no. Don't worry at all Buck." You smile but it felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest. He smiled briefly before he turned out the lights, joining you in bed. You both laid on your sides, back facing back. You shut your eyes and try to focus on sleeping, but the image of shirtless, only in boxers James flooded your thoughts.

"Doll?" James voice cut through the silence.

"Y-yes, Buck?"

"Who... Who is Frank  to you?" He asked in a low, dejected tone. Your eyes snap open. What kind of question was that from him?

"What do you mean?" You roll to face him but his back was still towards you.

"Are you and Frank..." He paused, "just ignore it, nevermind."

"Bucky, face me." He didn't  respond. "Please, James." You heard him sigh but he complied, turning to face you. The subtle light from your window made it easier to see his handsome face in the dark. You gulped, trying to muster an ounce of courage to tell him these feelings you've held for him for years.

"Frank and I are strictly friends. Before he became the Punisher he had a wife and two kids who he loved dearly. They-they were killed in front of him. He loved his wife dearly and I don't think he is looking to start dating anytime soon." You sigh and things go silent for a moment.

You rested a hand on his cheek and scooch closer. "James, I... I really enjoy spending time with you. I enjoy your presence. After all that we have been through,  with getting the code words out your head to losing Steve... I want to be by your side no matter what." You felt tears prick your eyes.

"I feel the same way about you doll." James spoke, just above a whisper. "You help ground me and honestly you help keep me sane." His hand found its way above yours that was cupping his cheek. Gently he moved your hand to his lips. He placed a soft kiss to your knuckles before moving it over his heart. "I've felt this for a while and I never had much courage to say it before but... I love you, (Y/N)."

"I love you too, James." You smile, a few happy tears managed to escape your eyes.

"C'mere." He helped move you close to him, pulling you into a deep hug. The chill of his vibranium arm caused goosebumps but the warmth of his other arm gave you comfort.

You wrap your arms around his bare torso and snuggled your face into his neck. God he smelt good. With a little courage coursing through you, you gave him a small kiss on the neck before giving him a little love bite, nothing that would bruise.

Bucky chuckled moving a part from you, just enough to get a full look at your face. Without saying anything he leaned in, his eyes hooded, placing his lips on yours. One of his hands found its way to your head while the other rested on your hip. You pushed your body closer to his, while gently dragging your nails across his back.

"Mm Doll." He mumbled against your lips. "I... I want to continue this with you if that's alright with you."

"Yes, Bucky." And in an instant after giving him the word, he maneuvered you onto your back while he hovered on top of you, his dogtags dangling down. He removed them from his body.

"Don't want those hitting your pretty face." He smiled and leaned in to kiss you once again, this time him slipped his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. His warm hand rested on your neck before he slowly dragged it down your chest and to the hem of your shirt. He messed with it a little, teasing to go underneath.  You whine a bit and arch your back as he kept messing with it.

"May I?" You simply nod in response. He pushed himself away from you and took the hem of your shirt, helping you remove it. The cold air hitting your now exposed chest made you shiver. "No bra? Naughty." He smirked.

"I'm not the one who came out only his his boxers."

"Touché." He tossed your shirt onto the ground and soaked in the view below him. The perfect lighting leaking through the blinds illuminated everything in just the right way. James licked his lips, "You are gorgeous, doll."

"You're pretty handsome yourself." You smile, which made him smile.

"Let me treat you like a goddess. Let me repay the favor." Without another word James attacked your neck with his mouth, nipping and sucking on the area. He continued leaving love marks from your neck down to your chest slowly. The sensation made you moan as tingles went through your body. You felt yourself getting wetter as he continued to leave hickies on your chest.

Bucky used his non-vibranium hand to cup your right breast, kneading it gently. Maintaining eye contact with you his leans his head down to your free breast before giving your raised nipple a quick lick. The feel made your body shake ever so slightly, making him smirk at the reaction. He did it again, although this time slower before latching on, using his tongue to swipe over the sensitive bump.

"Bucky-" You gasped. You felt heat slowly build in your core, not enough to have you screaming, but enough to feel pleasurable. "That feels so good." He continued giving your tender breasts and nipples attention, slowly building you up.

"Lets get these pajama shorts off." He sat up again, moving himself lower on the bed. He gripped the waistband of your shorts and began slowly removing them while you lifted your legs to help. Discarding them like your shirt, he tosses those articles of clothing to the floor. You were left with just your panties

His hands take your knees and help spread your legs farther a part, soaking in the view of your body spread out. His mouth found its place on your in thigh. He left small kissed, sometimes little bites, and he dragged his mouth closer and closer to your wet pussy. "I want to taste you doll, is that alright?"

"Y-yes Bucky, please." You begged, adjusting your hips ever so slightly. "I want to feel you more."

"As you wish." He smirked. Before he removes your panties he places soft kissed over the fabric covering your pussy. You stifle a moan, as he continued to tease you against the fabric. When he was done, he remove your underwear with ease.

"You are stunning, absolutely stunning." His hand found its way to your slit. He gently  brushed his fingers over your sensitive skin, making your body twitch ever so slightly. "You're so wet for me, already." His tongue slowly and softly dragged around your vagina and clit, the teasing is back on.

"A-Ah!" You quietly moaned, trying to keel your voice down. You moan again when you felt one metal finger enter slowly while his mouth latched to your clit. One of your hands reached down to grip his hair as he began to finger and play with your clitoris.

The pleasure had your curling your toes. You had to bite your lip to hold back from moaning loudly. You didn't feel like waking up the others.

Another finger entered as he started to speed up his motions, his tongue and mouth still on your clitoris.

"That feels so good." You said with an airy tone as he continued to work.

"You taste divine." His breath against your sensitive skin made you your thighs clamp around his head. The pleasure was building up and you felt like your were close to cumming.

"J-James, - oh god!" You kept your voice down but the work he is doing to your clit made it hard to stay quiet. "Fuck-"

James give your clit one last lick before sitting, removing his fingers in the process. He then licked his fingers clean as he stared down at your panting body. He could feel his cock wanting to be free from his boxers so he removed them, letting his large erection out. He watched you squirm as you awaited for his touch again.

"Do you want my dick inside you, doll?"

"Ye-yes please." You begged, wiggling your hips for him. "Please!"

"God your so hot." He leaned back over you, placing a sloppy kiss on your mouth. You could taste yourself on his lips. Lining himself up to your entrance he looked to you. "Ready?"

"Yes!" He smiled, and slowly slide his cock inside you. You gasp as you feel him stretch you out, tears stinging your eyes. He stopped once he was fully in, letting you have a moment to get adjusted. "I don't know how I'll keep my voice down."

"Bury your face into my neck, I want to hear you moan my name."

You did what he suggested, you wrapped your arms around his torso while he used his vibranium arm to stay stable and his other arm around your head to keep himself close to you. His body was completely on top of yours.

"You can move now."

James slowly moved his hips away, almost entirely removing his cock from you except the tip before thrusting back in. Your moan was successful smothered by his body. He continued thrust himself inside your pussy, the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room.

"O-Oh James- yesyesyes," You mewl. "You feel so good." You heard him let out a husky groan in your ear.

"I love it when you say my name, (Y/N)." He whispered in your ear as he kept his pace. You continue to moan out his name, gripping him tight as his thrust got faster. "Fuck, your so tight."

"Shit- faster!" You begged and he obliged. "You're so good to me Bucky. You-you're perfect." You could feel his thrust starting to gst sloppy as you felt waves of pleasure course through your body.

"Baby you make me crazy." He moaned. You could feel his hand make its way down to your clit, and your body arches against his as he pressed down on the sensitive bud. He practically started pounding your pussy as he moaned in your ear.

"James I'm gonna- I'm so close!" You cry out as the the feeling kept building.

"Do it, cum for me."

It was like everything in your body started shake as the pressure finally snaps in your core. You bury your face into his chest and moan his name as blinding, white hot pleasure filled your being. Your walls tighten around his cock  and you feel him start to tense.

His thrusts became harder before he finally released his thick cum inside of you before collapse onto of you, panting. Both of you were sweaty and breathing hard, but neither of you moved. The feeling of his cock inside you, twitching, was extremely hot.

"You're amazing, (Y/N)." He grinned, making you smiled.

"You're the best damn thing in my life, James."

---------

You woke up naked the next morning, curled up to an equally naked, sleeping Bucky. You smiled, remembering last nights confession and everything after that. You watch him sleep for a moment before deciding to slip out of bed to make everyone breakfast. You throw on the pajamas you wore before hand and quietly leave the room.

You close the door as quietly as and turned around, only to see Frank sitting at the table reading a magazine you had lying around.

"Oh good morning Frank." You smiled and walked past him, hoping he wouldn't notice anything. "I'm gonna make some breakfast for everyone."

"Morning, (Y/N)." He grunted. "Sleep well?"

You almost choked on air, "Yes, I did. How about you?"

"Oh you know, the couch is alright but I am a light sleeper remember? I kept hearing weird noises through the night. " Your face felt on fire as you turned to face him. He wore a smug smirk on his face. "Got something on your neck there."

You rush to grab your phone and look in the camera. Low and behold, hickies were left on your neck. "Shit."

Frank snorted, "So you finally got with your crush, huh?"

"Oh shut it you grump."

"I'm just teasing you. You know I'm happy for you, (Y/N)."

"Thanks, Frank."

Frank decided to help you with breakfast, taking on making bacon and sausage while you attended to making pancakes. And sure enough the rest of the people in the apartment came out.

"They're gonna see them. "

"I know, I am bracing myself for Sam's teasing." You sigh. You go and place the plate  pancakes you made on the table while Frank placed the bacon and sausage he made.

"G'morning, doll. I missed ya in the morning." Bucky approached you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I wanted you to wake up to some breakfast." You grinned and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Did you finally confess your feelings?" You heard Sam. "I gotta get ahold of Tic Tac and Clint they owe- what the hell is on your neck (Y/N), is that what I think it is?" He groaned and sat at the table, everyone taking their spots.

"Hickies are messages on the body that can show ones presence on another-" Zemo spoke but was cut off by Sam.

"I do not want to know, Zemo. Lets just eat."

Breakfast was great. You were surprised Frank got along with the others, though it did take some talking to by Sam to break him out of his shell. You also could have sworn Buck and Frank had a stare down at one point but were both laughing and smiling.

You take hold of Bucks hand that was on the table and give it a light squeeze, smiling at him while he smiled back. Life was pleasant even after these emergency visits.

[helliontherapscallion]

Going Mining (Adrenaline Junkie Part 2)

Part 1     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, OOC sbi

Word count: 2,582

It had been about a year since you told your family about your tendencies. Since then, you quickly became efficient in the art of redstone wiring. The precious dust became your saving grace in a way, it was because of it that you stopped skydiving. Of course, you missed the feeling you got when you got close to the ground going at mach speed, but they were just intrusive thoughts at this point; you didn’t make any move to fulfill your desire. Redstone wiring took your mind off from it.

Lately, you spent most of your time in the basement where you set up your workshop to craft most of your supplies and write out blueprints. You were working on finding out a way to somehow launch TNT to make igniting it safer. You figured out that you could use a dispenser to plant the TNT, repeaters to prolong the time the TNT gets placed, a button to press to initiate the whole process, and use redstone dust to connect everything together. Now you have a working TNT launcher, but you have to find a block to use as a wall to protect the user from the shockwave of the explosion. You found out the hard way that the shockwave is enough to knock you back a few feet and give you small burns.

You reached over for more iron to make another repeater, but your hand came up empty. You furrowed your brows as your hand patted around the chest before finally looking over to look more closely. The chest was completely empty. You groaned in frustration, you could’ve sworn that you had more iron to work with. Looks like you had to go mining again. Sighing as you checked your redstone dust supplies, you supposed that you could look for more of that too.

Prying your goggles off from your eyes and placing them on your crafting table, you checked the time. It was almost sunset, which means it’s close to dinner time. You walked up the stairs and to the kitchen, where Philza was cooking dinner.

Sitting down at the dinner table, you greeted him. “Hey Dad, what’s for dinner tonight?”

“Steak and baked potatoes. How’s the TNT launcher coming up?”

“It’s coming along. At this point, I just need to figure out what block I could use as a wall to block the shockwave and how many repeaters I need.”

You remembered earlier today when you got the unexpected knockback in your backyard where you were building the launcher. Philza got used to the constant explosions, so he wasn’t phased when the explosion was louder than usual. He just thought you were using more TNT than usual, so he just resumed chopping wood. Soon after the explosion, he heard a thud and a groan coming from you. When he glanced in your direction, he saw you laying in the grass a few feet from the launcher. He chided you for not being careful with how much TNT you used, but he was proud of you for being so innovative. After giving you a health potion for your burns you got, he told you that you were done building for the day.

He hummed thoughtfully as he flipped a steak. “Have you thought about using obsidian? It’s pretty durable and it could withstand quite a bit of damage.”

You slapped a hand to your forehead. Why didn’t you think about using obsidian? Most TNT technicians used obsidian to shield them.

“...No, no I haven’t. You don’t suppose that we have any laying around?”

“I’m sorry hun, but we don’t. I could go mining for some though.”

“No that’s fine, I was actually going to find a cave tomorrow to restock on iron and redstone. I’m running low.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll lend you my diamond pickaxe. The iron pickaxe you have won’t mine through obsidian. Dinner’s almost done, can you go get your brothers?”

“On it!”

You ran up the stairs, hearing the strumming of a guitar growing louder as you approached Wilbur’s room. Knocking loud enough for him to hear over the guitar, the strumming stopped and he called out a “come in”.

Opening the door, you smiled at him. “Hey Wil. Dad wanted me to tell you dinner’s almost ready. That new song sounds great by the way.”

He put his precious guitar back into its case on his bed as he turned around and returned your smile.

“Thanks (y/n). Tell him that I’ll be down in a moment.”

Nodding, you closed his door and went across the hall to Techno’s room. Before you could knock, the door swung open to reveal your oldest brother. 

“I heard you tell Wilbur dinner’s ready. I’ll see you there.”

You stepped aside to let him into the hall and started to walk to Tommy’s room. You swung open his door and chuckled lightly as he jumped.

“Hey gremlin. Dinner’s ready.”

“How come you knock on Wilbur’s and The Blade’s door but not mine? I could’ve been naked!”

“You do the same thing to me. Techno and Wil knock on my door, so I knock on theirs. Now, get down to the dining room before your food gets cold.”

He stood up to his full height and casually walked over to you. In the past year he has grown to be almost 8 inches taller than you and he didn’t show any signs of stopping any time soon. To your surprise, he shoved you to the side and sprinted out of his room.

“LAST ONE TO THE DINING ROOM HAS TO DO THE DISHES TONIGHT!”

“NOT FAIR, YOU GOT A HEAD START.”

You sprinted after him, but he was ahead of you by time you passed your other brother’s rooms. By the time you got to the top of the stairs, he was halfway down them. There was only one way you’d win. You hauled yourself over the railing of the stairs and jumped, extending your wings to slow your descent. You swiftly regained your footing and sprinted towards the kitchen with desperation. You weren’t going to do the dishes when it was Tommy’s turn; it was your night last night. You laughed in an early celebration when you neared the door to the dining room. There was no way Tommy could possibly-

You yelped as you felt your body being pulled back and a slight pain in your wings. Tommy must’ve grabbed your wings. Falling on your ass, you quickly reached to grab Tommy’s ankle to bring him down on the ground with you. He landed on his stomach with a thud as you pulled him back as hard as you could. You crawled towards the dining room door, only to feel Tommy grabbing your wings again to pull you back. Wincing as you felt some feathers being yanked out, you cursed your wings for growing to be almost larger than your body and easy to grab. You slid across the ground as Tommy pulled you back and tried to crawl into the dining room. You reached out with your other wing and started battering his head to disorient him. It worked as he stopped and you felt him trying to swat your wing away so he could see. Making haste, you crawled into the dining room.

“OI THAT’S NOT FAIR. YOU STARTED HITTING ME.”

“All’s fair in love and war, gremlin. Besides, you pulled my wings first, so you technically started it. I wasn’t about to do the dishes for you.”

“I don’t know why you are the one calling me gremlin, you’re short as hell.”

“Oi, 5’2 is average height! You all are just way too tall!”

Despite you and Tommy arguing, you both were giggling and smiling at each other. The rest of your family watched you two in amusement for a couple of minutes before Philza spoke up.

“Alright you two, dinner’s gonna get cold if you keep it up. Tommy, (y/n) won fair and square. You will also pick up the feathers you plucked out after dinner. (Y/n), don’t jump over the railing again. I understand that you can fly but still that’s dangerous.”

You both murmured “yes, Dad” before taking your seats at the table. As the dinner progressed, everyone had small side conversations about how their days were. Dinner went by faster than usual, probably because everyone was tired. 

Tommy grumbled to himself as he picked up the feathers on the ground. Taking pity on him, you picked up everyone’s dishes and took them to the kitchen sink and filled it up with soapy water for Tommy. You washed and dried them by time he got done picking up your feathers. He was an annoying little gremlin, but he was your little annoying gremlin. You loved your little brother.

“...Thanks for helping me. You didn’t have to do the dishes.”

“It’s not a problem, Tommy. You already had to pick up my feathers. Er, sorry for hitting you with my wings, that probably hurt.”

He chuckled, rubbing his head. “It kinda hurt, but I deserved it for pulling out your feathers.”

You moved your wing in front of you to examine it. Only a few secondary feathers were missing, it was probably mostly your semiplume feathers he pulled out. 

“You didn’t do too much damage, no worries. I’m going mining tomorrow, is there anything you need me to pick up?”

His eyes lit up. “If you find a diamond, give it to me. My jukebox broke today.”

“I gotchu. It’s getting pretty late, T. We should go to bed.”

You gestured for Tommy to follow as you started to walk back into the dining room and into the kitchen. You two made comfortable small talk as you walked back to your rooms for the night. After changing into your pajamas, you plopped onto your bed and buried yourself in your sheets. You struggled to cover your wings before giving up and leaving them to droop off the side of your bed. You really needed to ask Philza how he covered his wings, they were larger than yours so he probably had a little technique he uses. 

Having wings kinda sucked sometimes. Besides not being able to cover them with a blanket easily, they didn’t fit on your bed if you wanted to stretch them out to their full length. When you were younger, your wings always fit on your bed and you would always keep them covered. But now with your wingspan being longer than your height, they were a pain to manage, especially at night. You always had to either sleep on your stomach or side and you couldn’t roll over without pulling a muscle in your wing. Because of this, it usually took you a little longer than most to fall asleep.

Your blissful slumber was interrupted by the light peeking in through your curtains. Sitting up, you stretched out your wings, smiling in satisfaction when you heard them crack. You stood up and grabbed your clothes for the day. Since you usually woke up a little earlier than your brothers, you always got first dibs on the shower after Philza. You yawned tiredly as you flicked on the water faucet and stepped into the shower. Now slightly more awake, you stepped out and started to preen your wings. Another downside to having wings is how high maintenance they are. 

After taking care of the rest of your morning routine, you went down to the kitchen where Philza was sitting at the table drinking some coffee looking as dead inside as ever. 

“Mornin’ Dad.”

He grunted in response. He was never a morning person, even after adopting four kids. You walked over to the chest where the food is kept and pulled out some eggs, bread, and beef. Usually, you made breakfast while Philza made dinner. You hummed a small tune as you flipped the eggs and turned over the beef sausages. One by one, your brothers joined Philza at the table and waited while you cooked. 

You grabbed four plates and sets of silverware from the cabinets and put on an appropriate amount of food on each, placing them in front of your siblings and dad. You grabbed your own before joining them at the table. 

“So, I’m going mining today. Is there anything you guys want me to get?”

They all chimed in with their needs. Philza wanted you to grab more iron and diamonds, Techno wanted some gold, Wilbur didn’t ask for anything, and you already knew what Tommy wanted. It sounded easy enough.

While the boys wrapped up breakfast, you excused yourself from the table and went back to your room to grab your satchel, pocket watch, iron pickaxe, and iron sword. Walking back downstairs, Philza gave you the supplies you would need today: a diamond pickaxe and a plethora of torches. “No staying out past sunset. Don’t mine down. Stay aware of your surroundings. If you see a mob, do not try to fight it, just try to run. If you get hurt, come straight home. If you get lost, follow the torches.”

“You worry about us too much.”

He sighed as he pulled you into a hug. “I just want you to be safe, hun.”

You smiled as you hugged him back and wrapped your wings around him. “I know, Dad. I’ll be safe, promise.” 

“You better, or else you’re grounded,” he joked.

You chuckled as you pulled away and said goodbye to your brothers for the day. Heading out into the brisk morning, you took in a deep breath and smiled to yourself. You had a feeling that this mining trip was going to be bountiful. You spread your wings and took off into the sky. 

Flying for a while, you spotted an opening in the ground. Grinning, you gradually landed before walking into the cave.

You spent hours mining precious ores, working your way deeper and deeper into the cave. You still had at least five hours before you had to start heading back to the house, so you thought going deeper wasn’t going to hurt anybody. 

You hummed to yourself as you passed multiple stalagmites. This cave was seemingly never ending, you’d have to mark it on your map so you could come back to it. The mouth of the cave kept getting larger and larger until it melded into a huge, winding cavern. You’ve never been this deep before, so you were excited to explore. Being mindful of placing down torches, you explored the cavern before you came across a strange looking block you’ve never seen before.

It glowed a luminescent green as weird looking projections (tentacles maybe? Was this thing alive?) flailed about before they fell into a relaxed movement and stopped glowing. Reaching out to poke it, you cringed as it felt weirdly moist and it made a slight squelching noise. It flailed about again as it glowed. You saw movement in the corner of your eye and turned to see another one of the blocks doing the same thing. How weird. 

Suddenly, the nearby lights started to flicker on and off, even your torches, as you heard a rhythmic thudding sound bounce off the walls of the cave. The thudding got louder and louder gradually as you frantically looked around for whatever it was and pulled out your sword. Hearing movement from behind you, you turned around only to freeze in fear. 

What the fuck was that?

[arizona2004]

Hey can you please do a azriel x reader where the reader is struggling with bad mental health (maybe an Ed) because I’m struggling myself rn and alsao there’s not enough of them :). I can totally understand if you didn’t feel comfortable doing it

Okay, here it is. Everyone responds to their eating disorders differently, especially depending on the ED and severity of it. I hope this has what you’re looking for, though.

Azriel x reader

Word count: 1499

Warnings: Eating Disorders! The reader struggles with an ED and some depression and anxiety and a little OCD. Please don’t read if you think reading the unhealthy thoughts of someone with an eating disorder may cause you to relapse. It is not healthy to think about food and eating in this manner. Love you all. Don’t forget to eat something and drink some water.

Waking up, I immediately don’t want to get out of bed. I pull the covers over my head, keep my eyes closed, and scrunch my legs up to my chest. When I wake up again, it’s only a little later in the morning. I still don’t want to pull myself out of bed, but I can’t fall back asleep. So I just lay there. Turning to Azriel’s side of the bed, I notice he’s not there. Well, of course not; he’s already left for work. I stare at the spot he usually occupies before finally sitting up and checking the clock. It’s 10 am.

Standing, I wrap my robe around myself and walk out of the room, refusing to look in the mirror. I practice breathing evenly and focus on my routine. I need to eat breakfast. I spend nearly 20 minutes in the kitchen, moving around, deciding what to eat. I’m opening cabinets and closing them, finding nothing satisfactory. Eventually, I decide to make some bacon. The stove is on, and bacon is sizzling. The scent of bacon is wafting toward me, and I feel like being sick. I can’t eat bacon; it’s greasy and fatty. Toast, I think, I’ll make toast. So I put the bread in the toaster and let it cook. It’s only when the toast is cooked that I start thinking about the carbs that go into it. I haven’t been exercising enough recently. I shouldn’t eat so many carbs. I throw the toast out with the bacon and decide to make scrambled eggs instead. Whisking the eggs and milk together, I turn on the stove, letting the skillet heat and butter melt on it. When I turn, bowl in hand, ready to pour it into the skillet, it slips from my hand, spilling all over the floor. Anger and frustration wash over me; I guess I just shouldn’t eat this morning.

After cleaning the mess: doing the dishes that littered the sink and picking up the mess of eggs on the floor, I walk back up to my room. My head is pounding, and everything feels like it's crashing in on me. My heart is racing, and I just want to scream. My mind keeps flashing back to last night. We went out to Ritas, and it was supposed to be fun. But I just had to ruin things for myself. I barely ate. I stopped drinking early into the night. I wish I could have forgone the entire night. I wish Mor wasn’t so perfect. She has curves in all the right places and not a single flaw; I hate her for it, I think. Passing the floor-length mirror in my bedroom, I stop to look at myself. It’s been so long since I’ve looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. Why can't I have a body like Mor or Feyre or Amren?

I sit on the floor, just picking apart all the pieces of myself I hate. Thinking about all the insulting things people have said to me. Tears are streaming out of my eyes until I can’t even see my reflection. I’m clutching my chest as I struggle for air through my sobs. Why? Why? Why?

It’s an hour later, and I’m just lying on the floor of my bedroom, staring at the ceiling. I pushed my earlier hunger away, so I can’t feel it anymore. I wish I couldn’t feel any of it. The tears on my face have dried, and I’m breathing normally again when a small piece of folded paper falls next to me.

The Note reads: Meet me at my office at 11:30?

Azriel. I turn my head to look at the clock hanging on the wall. It’s nearly 11:20: a choked sob leaves my throat. Standing quickly, I rush to the bathroom to put myself together. In 10 minutes, my face is washed, and I’m wearing enough makeup to cover any signs of my tears. And I brushed through my hair and threw on some clothes. Rushing out the door, I head for the House of Wind. In the time it took to get to the door of his office, I’ve done breathing exercises to even out my breaths and slipped on a smile.

Knocking on the door to his office, I peeked my head in. “Hey,” I say, biting my lip.

He looked up to me, a grin spreading across his face and arms opening for me. I walked in, shutting the door behind me, and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder. He breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of me. “You smell wonderful, love,” he murmurs against my neck.

“Hmm,” I hum, holding him tight.

“Are you feeling alright?” He asks, pulling back slightly to look at me directly.

“Yeah,” An unconscious fake smile blooms across my face, “why wouldn’t I be?”

He just stares at me for a moment longer, eyebrows bunching, when he asks, “have you eaten today?”

“Yes. Breakfast this morning,” I say, “when I woke to an empty bed,” I try steering the question away from myself.

He knows I’m lying, “are you hungry? We could get lunch.”

“It was a big breakfast, Az,” I say, “I’m not hungry right now.”

He grips my waist and pulls me closer, wrapping his wings around us, “What’d you eat?”

“I made toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon,” It’s not entirely a lie, I think to myself.

He puts his forehead on my shoulder, resting it there for a long few moments, “baby,” he mumbles, “please don’t lie to me. We’ve been through this before: I can help, just talk to me.”

My lips start to quiver, I’ve upset him.

“I’m with you through all the good And the bad,” he says, head still down, “please tell me the truth about how you’re feeling,” he lifts his head to look at me, and the worrying features of his face make me sob again. “Hey, hey. It’s okay,” he consoles, wiping the tears from my face, “deep breaths.”

I take a deep breath in and out, and he does it with me. My tears start to slow, and the shuddering breaths even out. Az is running his hand up and down my spine, soothingly and when I’m ready, I explain everything, “I guess- things started getting bad yesterday. I didn’t really like the way I looked in that dress, and I just felt… off? Gross? I don’t know,” I take another breath in, “then Mor showed up, and she just looked so good in that dress; she’s so beautiful. And she ate and drank so much,” I’m ranting now, “Does she ever gain weight?!” I stop talking, trying to calm myself, and tears well up again, but I push them back. Looking back to Az, I start talking again, “I shouldn’t be jealous. I’m a horrible friend for being mad at her, but I just can’t stand her sometimes. I’m a horrible friend.”

I’m looking down between us now, but Az coaxes me back, “look at me,” he holds my face between his hands and pushes our foreheads together, “You are not a horrible friend. You are wonderful and kind. It’s okay to be jealous. You still love her, and you’re still a good friend. Now, tell me the rest.”

I shake my head holding back my tears, “It’s just the same thing. I just- it’s everything combined. I feel like I ate too much yesterday, and I haven’t worked out regularly this week. Then everything last night. So when I woke up this morning, everything was too much. Seeing myself in the mirror and thinking about how much I don’t deserve you. I’m not pretty enough. It’s all just so much. All at once,” my breaths come unevenly again, and tears are running down my face.

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment; his hands drop from my face and pull me into him. His hands run through my hair, and he just soothes me quietly for a few minutes. When he pulls back to look at me, he says quietly and calmly, “You’re beautiful, love. And I know me telling you that isn’t just gonna take all the bad thoughts and feelings away, but I need you to know: No matter what you see in the mirror or what your mind tells you, you are so beautiful. You have your ‘flaws,’ but that’s okay. You just have to learn to love them the way I do. And I’ll help you with that; I’m here to help.”

I nod, tears still streaming down my face, and lay my head on his shoulder, breathing him in and calming myself.

“Can we go eat food now,” he asks quietly. I nod letting myself feel the hunger I pushed aside and relaxed further into his arms. He lifts me with him as he stands and walks us to the kitchen.

[forever-rogue]

Hey there! I hope your week goes a little better for you. I have a request! 🥺 Take your time of course! Could you write one for Mando where the reader asks to eat with him for the first time and the reader puts down some pillows on the floor and they sit back to back so he doesn’t break his creed? If you write it, thank you!!!! I hope you have a wonderful day ❤️

Enjoy some softness!

Din Djarin x Fem!Reader ; warnings: none

The Mandalorian Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Hey," you glanced over at the quiet, stoic Mandalorian. He seemed to snap back into attention as he tore his eyes from the blaster in his lap and looked back at you. You laughed lightly, a beautiful sound that he adored, before reaching over and squeezing his shoulder, "where'd you go, Mando?"

"I'm right here," he promised softly as you reached down and picked up the small green menace from the floor of the hull. You kissed his forehead as he cooed at you before you held him out to the Mandalorian. 

"Can you be trusted with babysitting duties for a little while? I need to go make dinner and can't focus on that and him," you booped his little nose, causing him to giggle before the Mandalorian gently pulled him into his arms, "he's particularly wild today."

"No rest for the wicked, little womp rat?" he asked softly as his adopted son gave him a look of pure innocence. He sighed in amusement before turning back to you, "do you want some help with anything?"

"I've got it handled easily if you two stay out of my way," you chuckled as you headed back to the small kitchen, "besides its my turn to make dinner. Keep out of trouble for an hour or so - both of you!"

"Positive?" you could practically hear the smile in his voice as you turned around and playfully raised an eyebrow at him.

"I don't trust you in the kitchen," you reminded him, "last time you started a small fire and burnt half the meal. I love you - but I don't trust you...in the kitchen anyways."

And it was so effortless. So effortless to say those words as though you'd always lived in domestic bliss with him. So effortless to say those three words that you meant but wouldn't dare to confess. But in the moment it was so easy and you didn't even think twice.

But it was not lost on Din who froze in place as he registered what you said. His mouth was open as his heart skipped a few beats as you walked away without a care in the world. 

Had you meant it? Was it true? Did you love him?

He wouldn't dare think about it, sure he wasn't ever worthy of such a thing. You were the light and goodness that was left in the galaxy, along with his son, but he'd  ever fancy himself blessed enough to be worthy of your light.

And yet…those words had come out of your mouth. You'd never said them to anyone else, at least not to his knowledge and he'd seen you around many people. Probably just a slip of the tongue...he couldn't think too much about it.

But oh...how those three little words made him feel. So light, so warm, and soft. Like he could see clearly and breath easily, a little bit of weight off his shoulders. No one had spoken those words to him since he was a child and his parents had worked to keep him safe and traded their lives for his. 

How those three little words, so easy and delicate, had made him light up. Maker, he hoped he'd be lucky enough to hear them again.

Din felt a light tugging on the sleeve of his shirt, causing him to look down at the little one. His big, inky eyes were wide with wonder as he almost seemed to know what Din was thinking - maybe he could.

"I know," Din said softly, so only the little one could hear, "I'll tell her eventually. One day. Maybe."

The little one cooed excitedly as his father sighed lightly, "you really think I should, huh? Do you think-"

"Mando?" you poked your head back in and found your boys staring at each other, "how hungry are we? Starving or…?"

"Starving," he agreed, swallowing the nervous look in his throat, as the child nodded, "apparently both of us."

"Great," you beamed at them, "I'll let you both know when its done."

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Are you just tired or did you eat too much too fast?" you laughed at the sight of your small adopted son, clutching onto his spoon tightly as his eyes kept closing with the lull of sleep.

Reaching over, you took the spoon and set it down before pulling him into your arms. He tried his best to wrap his arms around your neck failing to do so, but nonetheless snuggling into your chest as sleep easily overcame him.

"I'm going to go and put him down," you whispered quietly to the Mandalorian as you walked out of the small kitchen, "stay here, Shiny. I have a surprise for you."

"Okay," Din's voice practically caught in its throat at your playful nickname. It all came with such ease as you walked away and he felt his cheeks burning up.

Instinctively, Din got up and started to clean up, gathering all the dishes up and putting leftovers away. He liked this - the pure and simple domesticity of it all, and sometimes wished it would never end. Maybe one day, if he fancied himself brave enough and ever made a move, this could be his everyday - your every day.

"I told you to stay," you teased when you walked back in and found him at work. He turned and faced you, offering you a smile you couldn't seem but definitely felt, "and that didn't mean work!"

"I was just…" you quickly pulled the bowls out of his hands and then gently nudged him towards the hull. Huffing in amusement, he easily complied and did as you asked, "now go and sit and I'll be right there."

Your Mandalorian went out and stared in amusement at the floor. Two large cushions were in the center of the room and a few candles had been light, casting a soft glow around the space. He looked around, confused as if this was some sort of joke before you rejoined him, a full tray of food in your arms.

"I-I had an idea and if I'm totally off the mark or whatever, tell me," you stammered, almost nervous now as you set it down the floor and plopped onto one of the cushions, "we always eat together - well the little one and I do and I thought maybe this way you could eat with us too. At least me right now. We'll sit back to back and you can take your helmet off and I swear on all the stars in all the galaxies I won't try and sneak a peek. What do you think, Mando?"

And then he stilled completely. Your words washed over him like a wave, causing a flurry of emotions he hadn’t experienced in...possibly ever. It was such a simple act, but so kind, so thoughtful. And it seemed like it was the easiest thing again. Unable to probably form words, as they kept getting caught in his throat, he nodded slightly before sinking down and sitting on the soft cushion, his back against yours. 

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, soaking in the moment before Din finally moved again. Awkwardly clearing his throat, he reached his hand to the side, right next to where yours was resting. Inching yours closer, you hesitated for a moment before delicately placing your hand on top of his, noting the soft feel of his skin without the gloves before squeezing lightly. His thumb stroked the back of your hand before he almost whispered, “Din. My name is Din.”

“Din,” you repeated, instantly deciding you liked the name and that it suited him perfectly, “I love it. Do you have a last name Din? You already know mine, so I suppose it’s only fair! But I understand too, if you don’t want to tell me…”

“You’re right, sweet girl,” he chuckled lightly, trying not to completely lose his mind at how beautiful his name sounded coming off your lips. No one had spoken it since he was just a child; this was a big moment and the two of you both knew that, “Din. Din Djarin.”

“Din Djarin,” you repeated softly, letting it linger on your tongue and savoring the sweetness, “it’s nice to meet you Din Djarin.”

“Sweet girl,” he gave your hand a tight squeeze, curling his fingers around yours before linking them together, “I...thank you. It’s been...it’s been so long. I thought I might end up taking that to the grave without ever telling another soul.”

“You never have to hide anything from me,” you promised gently, “whatever you want to share with me - I’ll be here.”

“I know,” he whispered gently, a smile tugging on his features, “you...thank you.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for,” you insisted, meaning every word, “now go on and eat. I bet you’re starving.”

“Will you eat with me?” you nodded in response, knowing he could feel the gentle movement of your head against his. Swallowing the lump of emotion that had welled up in his throat, he let go of your hand and slowly reached up to remove his helmet. Pausing for a moment, he appreciated the gravitas of what he was doing, before slowly lifting the Beskar off of his head and setting it down next to the two of you with a dull clink. 

You grabbed a bowl of soup for yourself, followed by a spoon before nudging the tray over to him. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him reaching for it, and despite wanting to steal a glance, you kept your gaze trained straight ahead. You wouldn’t dare break his trust; especially not after he just shared such an intimate part of himself with you. If it was meant to happen, it would happen all in its own time. But for now, this was good, this was everything. 

Din held his bowl tightly, his body practically vibrating with warm, excited energy as he ate the soup you had made for your little clan of three. You rested against him, the warmth of his body spilling onto you as you laughed lightly.  

“Hmm?” he asked, unable to contain his own chuckle as he felt more relaxed and at peace than he had in a long time, “alright?”

“Yes,” you sighed contentedly, “everything's perfect. I like this - the quiet moments. The ones where we can let our guards down and not worry about anything. I hope...I hope we can have more of them.”

“Me too,” he agreed, putting down his own bowl as he rested his hand on yours again, “can I...do you promise not to look?”

“I would never dare to, without your permission.”

“Close your eyes sweet girl,” he whispered softly as you readily agreed and squeezed your eyes shut. He turned his head slightly, pulling away from you before leaning and pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. Your breath hitched in your throat as you realized what he had done, and it caused a shiver of delight to run up your whole body. He had kissed you!

“Din-”

“I hope that wasn’t out of turn...I-I’m sorry if it was,” he suddenly felt nervous as though he had done the completely wrong thing, but your gentle touch on his arm was enough to tell him it was okay. 

“No,” you insisted quickly, “I...I liked it. I’ve thought about that probably more than I should have. Do you trust me, Din?”

“Yes,” his voice was quiet as you made sure your eyes were tightly shut before turning around to face him, motioning for him to do the same. He was nervous for a moment, but he knew you better than to think you would betray his trust. He grinned from ear to ear as he looked at you, studying your face intently with his own eyes for the first time. Was it possible for you to be even more gorgeous? Because he was sure you were. 

Reaching up blindly, your hands easily found his face, and you let your fingers trace over his features, getting to know him, like it was the first time. In some ways, it really was. He keened into your delicate touch, and you just knew he was handsome; everything about him was. 

“Curls,” you ran a hand through his locks as you felt him nod, “let me guess - dark brown? Brown eyes?”

“Yes….how did you know?”

“I dunno,” you shrugged lightly, “I just know. May I..may I kiss you, Din Djarin?”

“Yes.”

And so you did. You kissed him like it was the first and last time, but you hoped it was the first of many. So did he. 

When you slowly pulled back, he pressed his forehead against yours and sneaked one last kiss. 

“Come on,” you grinned against his lips, “eat now - before you starve to death!”

And it happened just like that. So easy. So effortless. 

So perfect. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

Permanent Taglist: @secretsweetscollectionblog  @sheridans-dynamos  @queenbbarnes  @persephonesnebula   @ah-callie  @blushingwueen  @thisis-theway @rosetophighlander  @rae-gar-targaryen    @hiscyarika  @readsalot73  @huliabitch  @ollyoxenfrees @coffeeandtodd  @beepbeepsephy   @scarlettwitcher  @nerdyknightwritersblog  @choicesarcade  @arrowswithwifi  @everythingaboutnothingstuff  @suckerfor-fanfics  @bestintheparsec @javihoney  @aeryntheofficial  @hail-doodles @engineeredfiction @aeryntheofficial  @asgardianvamp21  @keithseabrook27  @karmezii  @dearspacepirates  @thatsuitlooksgoodonyou  @paintballkid711 @mrpascals @lv7867 @artsymaddie @gooddaykate @rosiefridayrogersunday @heyitmelexie @criminalmind1927 @justanotherblonde23 @coni-martina @thewayofthemandalorian @phoenixhalliwell @lucifer @cosmoschick @kochamcie @linkpk88 @leaiorganas @nikkixostan @haley-the-comet