#even if those reasons don't hold up - we got no reason and that's my beef)

[wistfulwatcher]

i've sat with the episode for two days now, and i'm still just genuinely so disappointed and bewildered by lottie's suggestion that they sacrifice one of the survivors. as presented, lottie's reasoning for the need to offer one of them to the wilderness is because they're all struggling as adults. just struggling, not facing any real and true dangers like the threat of starvation they were facing in the wilderness. she wants one of them to die - the very thing she wanted to prevent natalie from doing A WEEK AGO! - so that the other 5 survivors' lives get a little happier.

sacrificing one of them so they can all eat in the wilderness makes sense. it's an ugly and brutal choice, but it's understandable. lottie's plan is not. and the thing is, they did have an opportunity in this episode to justify lottie's 2021 suggestion, and they just...didn't. because, presumably, the reason for lottie making the suggestion in 2021 falls under the reason the ritual began in 1997. but we didn't get to see that ritual discussion.

understanding their motivation for the sacrifice is crucial. it's been crucial for the past two seasons, it's been what we were building to, and it's the bedrock of their new religion. we know they needed to eat, and that the sacrifice was a practical one. but how did they decide that one life was worth more than another? that a group of lives were more valuable than one? philosophy nerd misty was in that room; did she explain the different schools of thought? did they decide that the overall health of the group was more important than a single life? did they decide that the group as an entity needed to survive? and what does "survive" mean? physical satiation? emotional stability, making a choice they could all live with? did they discuss their possible future selves? the idea of happiness, since that's essentially what lottie is pitching in 2021?

lottie's whole pitch is that they need to do this - LITERALLY DIE - to survive, so that is exactly what they needed to define in the ritual discussion for this episode to make sense. and they didn't.

[imbored1201]

How do we put up with you?

Barcelona Femeni x Teen Reader

Words: 1,936

A/N: there’s a lot of Mapi and reader beef in this one😭

You hated traveling but also loved it. It was a perfect opportunity to do dumb things and easily get away with it since everyone was too tired to care. The bad thing about it was you had to sit down and be patient. 

The whole time in the airport, Alexia would hold your hand, or Sandra, since you liked how soft her hands were. 

"Restroom," Alexia told you as she reached to grab your hand. "I don't have to go," you told her, only paying attention to your phone. "Hey!" You said as she snatched it from you. "You always say you don't have to, then when I come back you complain that you do, come on," you glared at her as you stood up and took her hand. 

"Aw, the baby needs her mommy to take her to the potty," Salma cooed as she pinched your cheek. You swatted her hand away. "Leave her alone," Alexia told her, which Salma was quick to oblige.

—————

Once Alexia went into one of the stalls, you were quick to rush out. You went to a gift shop that was nearby to look at what they had. 

After a couple of minutes, you noticed Alexia rushing out the restroom and in the direction of the team. You smirked, shaking your head, and continued to look stuffed animals. 

"You really want to give her a heart attack, don't you?" You jumped at the sound of Ingrid's voice. You turned around and smiled at Fridolina and Ingrid. "Look at this puppy," you held out the puppy that Frido took. 

"Grab a candy and let's go," Ingrid told you, and you were quick to grab your favorite candy and gave it to Frido.

Ingrid held your hand as you walked back. You smirked at seeing Alexia go off on Patri and Pina.

"I think you lost someone," Frido announced, making everyone turn to her. "You see, we told you we didn't know," Pina told her, glaring at you. As usual, Alexia suspected that they had a part in your disappearance and got scolded for no reason. 

Alexia quickly swept you up in a hug. "You know you can't do that, idiota," she scolded, smacking the back of your head. "Look at my new stuffed animal." You held it up for everyone to see. 

Pina snatched it away and examined it. "Can I name it?" She genuinely asked. You thought about it for a second. "Not your child, not your choice." Claudia scoffed and went to get her own stuffed animal to name. 

————

You were bored and energetic; the candy Fridolina got you gave you an extra boost. Alexia sighed as you saw you eating it, too tired to even take it away from you. She wanted you to be tired so you would sleep the whole plane ride.

"Come on, we have to board," Alexia said, grabbing your hand. Marta took your suitcase, and you happily made your way onto the plane. 

"Can I sit with Ingrid and Mapi?" You asked her, looking at the couple. Mapi groaned upon hearing you, making Ingrid smack her in the back of the head. 

"Okay, here's your bag; it has your juice, iPad, and snacks." Alexia spoke a little too excited, it was understandable; she needed a break from your nonsense. "Move, I want middle," you told Mapi, who shook her head. 

"Mapi move," Ingrid now said. Mapi gave her a look of disbelief. "Mapi, don't start arguing with a kid." Mapi sighed and got up. You smiled and sat in between them. Lucy looked back at you and gave you a warning look when you kicked her seat again before the plane even took off. It was going to be a long flight. 

————

You were bored again after 10 minutes. After kicking Lucy's seat none stop you finally got scolded by Mapi, and she threatened to tell Alexia. 

Speaking of, Mapi kept staring Ingrid down when she thought you were distracted by your iPad. It was disgusting, in your opinion. She was practically drooling all over her shirt. 

"Can you stop eye-fucking her" you told her when Ingrid went to use the restroom. Mapi looked at you, shocked, not believing those words had just came out of your mouth. 

You smirked at her. "I'm telling Alexia" she announced, standing up to call Alexia to make you sit with her. 

"You do that; I'll tell her it was you that broke her favorite vase, not me. All because a teenager was kicking your ass in a game," you knew you got her there when she went silent. 

You were beating Mapi in FIFA, and it was worse since she was trying to impress Ingrid, who was watching the whole time. You were teasing her, and she decided it was a good idea to throw Nala's toy ball at the wall; it hit the vase instead. You had never seen Mapi so scared.  

You took the blame since you knew it would be good blackmail later on. 

Mapi kept glancing at you and back to her phone, not even looking at Ingrid's direction anymore, even when the green eyed girl asked her something, she counted down the minutes until the plane landed. She needed a break from any kind of children. 

You had another trick up your sleeve, though. You knew with Mapi's looks that things would most likely heat up tonight in their hotel room. 

You turned to Ingrid and tapped her shoulder. "Can me, you, and Frido have a sleepover? Like last time. Alexia can never sleep on the first night, and it annoys me." Mapi turned to you, wondering if she heard you correctly. 

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said. "Why not? I'm fine with it; I've missed her late-night thoughts." Ingrid shrugged, and you stuck your tongue out at Mapi, who muttered curse words under her breath.

"Watch your language," you scolded her, immediately cuddling into Ingrid's side. All she could do was stare you down, despite the growing temptation to strangle you.

————

Thankfully for Mapi, she got a 30-minute break after landing and getting to the hotel. During those 30 minutes, you had to somehow convince Alexia to let you have a sleepover with Ingrid and Fridolina, then explain to her that Mapi was staying with her. It wasn't going to be easy. 

"Did you take my sweater again?" Alexia asked you as she stepped out of the restroom from her shower. When she saw you, she frowned. You had your little backpack ready to go. "Where are you going? It's 9, your bedtime is at 10."

"Me, Ingrid, and Frido are having a girls night," you told her happily. "You're barely telling me this?" She sounded a bit angry, but mostly confused. 

"Ingrid said it was fine, and you're stuck with Mapi for tonight," Alexia huffed at that. Those two together didn't make a good combo when it came to sleeping in the same room. 

Alexia sometimes had a hard time falling asleep in a new environment, so she was constantly getting up. Mapi couldn't sleep if she heard any kind of noise, so she would get annoyed by any movement. 

————

"You have a toothbrush?" You nodded. "Charger?" You nodded. "Extra clothes?" You nodded. Before she could question you more, you walked out the door. 

"Bye Lex!" You called out, running to the elevator. Ingrid and Mapi's room was on the floor below. You didn't even have to knock on the door since an angry-looking Mapi came out with a bag of clothes and her blankets.

"Bye bye," you smirked at her, going past her and pushing her outside. "Eres un-" Before she could finish, you slammed the door in her face. 

You ran to Ingrid and jumped on her bed. "Can we please ding dong ditch some of the girls" Ingrid shook her head, making you whine. 

"Behave tonight, or I'll send you back to Alexia's." You nodded and jumped up, hearing another knock on the door. 

"Frido!" You exclaimed, jumping on her, when you opened the door. She carried you back inside and threw you on the bed. 

"Want to do a job, kid?" Frido asked you, and you quickly nodded. "Go get us some ice; you know where it's at?" 

"Frido, it's too late for her to be going out." "She'll be fine; she has too much energy; she needs to do some exercise to get rid of it, so why don't you sprint while doing this, I'll time you." You loved competitions. 

————

"Go!" Frido yelled, holding the door open for you as you sprinted out of the room and down to the elevator. 

You went to the floor below, where the ice was, and sprinted out of the elevator. 

While you filled your bucket, you got an idea. You could fulfill your ding-dong ditching plan. As always, Patri was your target. 

You knew Patri and Ona got put together because last time Patri and Pina shared a room, Pina broke the TV trying to throw a football at you for being annoying. You admit, you were being annoying, but throwing a ball at you while you were standing in front of the TV was a bad idea on her part. 

————

You quickly banged on there and ran away to the elevator again. After a couple of seconds, you heard the door opening. "Hello?" Patri asked, you couldn't contain your laughter. 

"Y/N, I swear," she said, knowing your laugh. She sighed and went back inside, refusing to give you attention. Not enjoying that fact, you decided to do it again. 

It was a terrible idea; Patri was waiting for you. She quickly swung the door open and tackled you. 

"Alexia!" You yelled, knowing she was probably up and doing her nighttime routine. Patri continued her attack and started tickling your sides. "Helppp!" You yelled, giggling. 

Ona came out of the room confused, rubbing her eyes tiredly and watching Patri attack you while you giggled and yelled for Alexia. 

————

When Alexia stepped out, the waterworks came. "Mierda," Patri muttered, seeing the tears in your eyes. 

"What is going on?!" Alexia shouted. It was late; practically the whole team on the bottom floor was up and out of their rooms now. They were all pretty cranky over the fact that they were woken up.

"I just wanted ice," you cried, pointing to your bucket of ice that was on the ground. Alexia looked at Patri with a questioning look. 

"She's a demon! She ding dong ditched us," Patri defended herself. Irene let out an annoyed sigh and told everyone to go back into their rooms. 

"Ona?" You turned to Ona, who was just as confused as her. "I didn't hear anything," she shrugged and went back into the room to sleep. Patri had a look of disbelief, finally getting off of you. 

"But-" "That's enough, Patri; apologize and give her a new bucket of ice, and you," she turned to you. Mapi quickly stuck her head out the door to watch you get your scolding next. 

"Bed, it's way past your bedtime," you rolled your eyes. "I'm practically an adult." "Don't act like it," you glared at Mapi. “Okay, I’ll go to bed, cuddle with Ingrid, and have her read me a bedtime story, something you can’t do.” Before Mapi could say something back, Alexia dragged her back into the room and slammed the door. 

————

Patri shoved your new bucket of ice into your hands and stormed off. "Goodnight," you called out; all you got was a middle finger. 

"Alexia!" 

[oddvanilla]

Dhar Mann might've been secretly a "villain" the whole time....

Pt.1 (?)

No, you're not hallucinating. You saw that title correctly. Believe it or not, I have had ridiculous beef for years with the man who many love, and even adore, Dhar Mann. And therefore, I'll be elaborating today on why such a "good person" like him is considered one of my sworn enemies, and why I think you should consider him one too.

Many people, and especially parents, assume that Dhar Mann is a great influence on kids, and a friendly individual. And although for the most part; that can be true, but you need to look at the bigger picture.

"The Dhar Mann Effect" is what I like to call it. A serious, and contagious virus that even the most experienced and hard-working doctors can't find the cure to. "What does the Dhar Mann effect do?" ...You may be asking. Well, great question! The Dhar Mann effect is when you form an addiction and obsession to watching the supposedly "short films" made by no other than Dhar Mann himself. And I'm not talking about a little, silly obsession. I'm talking about serious addictions that can lead into binge watching video after video non-stop. Such things should be taken far way solemnly.

And the prime example is my younger sister. Among many of my Dhar Mann-obsessed friends, I'd say she's the worst case. It started out around 2 years ago, when their substitute teacher played a Dhar Mann video at class (since many students have requested it), and ever since, she got hooked. I knew then that there was no coming back, she reached the "no-return" point.

I'd go as far as saying that it's like drugs to her. She can't survive a day without watching at least 3 videos in one sitting. And yes, that includes re-watching or re-visiting older videos. Trust me, it's deeper than just a "So you see...". My sister can qualify as an iPad kid, now, if I had to say so. And even currently, as I'm writing this, I can hear Jay's voice, One of Dhar Mann's most popular actors— playing from her room. I feel like it's not the same, and those damages may be irreversible. My poor sister can't live her life to the fullest anymore. All she does is wait for the new Dhar Mann video. And while she waits for the next one, she just rewatches his old videos, making sure she knows all the lore.

This is not a "haha" joke, people. This is dead serious. No joke. I'm not crossing my fingers. I'm not what nowadays kids call "capping 🧢". I'm being genuine and I'm typing this with the straightest face ever.

Another issue I have with Dhar Mann is how threatening he appears to me. I can promise you that if you look long enough into his smile, you'll realise it's slightly unsettling. Did you notice his face almost always looks the same in every picture? Well, you're probably not trippin'. That's because he has that same smile in literally every picture I could find of him.

What are the chances he might be a robot? Ready for the day we all fall for his spell and none of us are safe anymore, so he can finally strike? There is something so terrifying about him. Every time I look at that smile, I can't help but shiver a bit of fear. But mostly, I'm quite intimidated by his disturbing behaviour. The way he never fails to stare dead into our souls. That's what I find strange.

But hold up, the theories don't stop... at least not yet! Did you notice the way Dhar Mann ends every single one of his videos with "Hey Dhar Mann fam!" ??? What are the chances that he refers to us as his fam (family) to hide the fact we're probably stuck in his basement? If we're talking lore-wise, I'd say the reason Dhar Mann calls us his fam is the following: We're all chilling at our homes, until one day... A Dhar Mann video comes to our recommendations. By watching the media, you're secretly agreeing to sign an invisible contract that gives ol' Dhar the ability to adopt you. Child or not. And just because you're now part of his fam, doesn't mean he can't trap you into the basement and lock you up with multiple of many victims. The only time he'll ever check on you is when he comes in the basement and greets you with "Hey Dhar Mann Fam!" While feeding you those meaningless videos.

I'll show you a couple of examples, and YOU tell me what these videos could possibly teach kids who barely know what photosynthesis is.

Now, be real, just for a moment, WHY IS THE SECOND VIDEO A GODDAMN SERIES????? ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT ITS A CASUAL THING THAT THE PROTAGONIST EXPERIENCES ON SIMPLE OCCASIONS TO GET JUMPED???

I think another weird part is that Dhar Mann featured another EXTREMELY popular YouTuber named "Mr. Beast" many, many times, but even then— he feels this need to pull out knock off Mr. Beast...ahem ahem....Mr. "feast"...??????

No joke. Just search up "Dhar Mann Mr. Feast" and count how many videos come up. But if you're so lazy to check, it's 4. yea. 4 DAMN VIDEOS ABOUT A MR BEAST RIP OFF. YOU GUYS NEED TO WAKE UP AND REALISE THIS IS A MAN WITH A WIFE AND 2 KIDS.

And back to square one, What's the moral meaning behind this media he displays for the youth?

Not Dhar Mann (a multi millionaire) copying the "NO CHICK-FIL-A SAUCE?" girl???? Smh...

So... Do you think Dhar Mann is really the innocent "moral philosopher" he claims himself as? Or is it deeper than a "Hey Dhar Mann Fam"?. But either way, that's it for today. Thank you all for listening to my Ted Talk.

SORRY GUYS IM HIGH ON VITAMIN GUMMIES (AGAIN) AND LIKE I DO THINK DHAR MANN IS MY SWORN ENEMY BUT LIKE YALL BETTER NOT TAKE THIS /SRS LMAOOOO🙏🙏🙏

[10underoot2]

I finally rewatched Queen of Tears Episode 16.

Its given me a lot of clarity on why I didn't like it all that much. The episode feels very filler like, reiterating what I already know, no development nothing to draw me in. So here's a list of thing I really like vs things I had beef with: 

The Good:

- Hyunwoo's understanding of what marriage is is very profound and beautiful. Really appreciate that bit.

- The employees in this corporate sector have been 10/10 throughout. I cannot with how much I love them to bits. Still not over 'I just want to see the rich argue' 😭😂

- Yangi's bond with Hyunwoo is absolutely 10/10 

- I like Haein trying to find the reason of their divorce. It's important for her cause why did two people who love each other want to divorce each other. But again I hate how this wasn't a main cause of comcern around epsidoe 7. Like don't brush over it fam. Don't you wanna know why the man you love and who loved you to bits wanted to divorce you?

- Those last 7-8 mins. Though I wish I had more of them. I needed a linear passing of time. Something like the Germany Montage at the start would've been perfect. But at the very end just 'Way home' playing, Hyunwoo seeing Haein as an angel to pick him up, the familiar happiness and love just spreading around them was beautiful to witness. Really got me teary eyed both times I watched it. 

The Bad: 

- I'm not even getting into the uselessness and bad execution of the whole Yoon Eun Sung plot line since episode 14. 

- Still have no idea why Mol Soo Hee she wanted Suwan dead? Like there's no rationale? Why not kill Hae-in or SeoCheol in all those 20 years as well? It makes no sense to me.

- the episode felt so unnecessarily dramatic. I get it he got shot and was in a car accident but I was so sure he'd be okay? Did not understand or appreciate the over dramaticness also those Yangi shots in that sequence were a little tooo dramatic for me

- I don't like Haein getting back her memories cause they said the hippocampus would be destroyed. It's my fault for looking for logic in the first place but can we please stick to what we established writernim. Also wasn't this the whole problem that she's not getting back ANY memories EVER?!

- The scene between the mothers at this point was also unnecessary. We could've gotten to this realization back in the episode this was brought up the first time. She knew the location and date I don't see how reviewing her album was the light bulb moment.

- I feel super bad for this one but for me even Hae-in's bedside speech, once Hyunwoo woke up, lacked sincerity. As much as she might realize she loves him. He's still a stranger. Who does she miss? Her husband who's love she has no recollection of? The man she loved but she has no idea how she loved him? Take out the loss of memories and it would've hit me like a truck. Like she's not even holding his hand as she waits cause she recently met him. What am supposed to cry over here? What could've been? The pre ep 15 Baekhong I dearly misssed at this point?

- More on the Hyunwoo hospital scene. When he says 'I had forgotten' As sweet as it is I already knew all of it. It was so ill placed I didn't have to see it here.  Also like what does she care? She doesn't remember if you forgot or not in the first place 💀

- The Yangi x Haeina acene in the hospital - what notebook are we talking about? Did I miss something? Did I fall asleep somewhere like what?! Also I feally do like Yangi but I thought all of the scenes with him were kinda forced this episode.

- The conversations where Haein tells Hyunwoo he's perfect. Is it just me or is Haein extremely expressive after the surgery? I can never imagine Haein telling Hyunwoo that he's perfect even if she think so. It was a little off putting for me being introduced to this new character in the last episode. I miss my inexpressible power girl.

- Just the voice over off what happened with Mol Soo Hee would've sufficed but I guess we had to see that SNU degree in action. 

- The turn in Da hye's emotion - as sweet as it was also felt forced. They just showed me earlier she didn't care for him and bullied him. Now you want me to belive she mistook her feeling okay sureeee 🙃

- This is what meant by killing the temperment. They start Hyunwoo's monolougue 'We forgave those who we used to resent and then we cut to this long scene of Aunt Beom ja. Then we have Hyunwoo, then we have his brother's scene. The editing was off here. I wish we had a monologue of just them. It all threw me off so much.

And here's why a sequence of Baekhong was so necessary cause remember the first episode we instantly fall in love and get curious because of that lovely montage of BaekHong Germany scenes. 

All in all good ending, horrible last two epsiode. Kinda left a bad taste in my mouth. It makes me long so much for the show I saw and fell in love with before. I have never felt this way about a last episode, I think I just expected better from this show. 

[epickiya722]

Haha right? It's so normalized while it's actually so inappropriate to go to a stranger and talk about their sexual preferences.

I hate how "x fans" is called "x fuckers" now. Yeah I like Sukuna. No I don't want to fuck him. But all there is in his tags.

I'd go as far as to say that people don't care about characters. They just want to put them into tropes box to imagine them as their vampire/alpha male/ceo lover.

And I find it ironic how the same will trash talk about fanboys while they do the exact same thing. '"let women be horny" they will say, because reducing a story to you being horny is ok.

I still want to publish my stories because some fandom gave me hope. But I don't hold my breath anymore.

It is very inappropriate. Like, damn, I can't just like the character? I can't be entertained by their antics?

There are just so many things that shouldn't be normalized across fandoms and going into someone's inbox to be like "*insert character* fucker" is one.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind people having their fantasies about their faves, let alone am I gonna police anybody on or care to. Waste of my time, I got fics to write! Posts to post! 😭

But sometimes I do think "does this person actually care about the character's story"?

Because some of those same people will have so many takes on their faves that don't even be that character. That is a whole OC you created!!

I actually wasn't aware of this until only recently that people accepted for Sukuna to become some absolute horndog when Yorozu was up all over him. Maybe I missed something, but Sukuna only ever expressed being interested in fighting and killing people and personally, he never really came across as some sexual deviant to me.

I feel like sometimes if you have this fanon version of your fave, that is not your favorite. In no way, should you feel the need to like this whole other version of your "fave" in order to like him. Then why have them as your favorite in the first place?

I like Sukuna because he entertains me. He's this evil ass menace who wants all the smoke and the biggest beef he has is with a 15 year old (who is my all time favorite of JJK). Sukuna also this mysterious air about him because we still don't know much about his backstory, let alone everything he can do. (I had this recent thought about a technique that I should probably get to writing.) I have theories about his character, like how he may really be as a person, true. But at the same time, I'm not gonna believe my theories about him are canon because "I know him better than Gege". Anything I say isn't canon unless said so explicitly. I didn't create Sukuna. I am just another fan just vibing along with the story.

And it really is insane to me that people will do that. People were saying "female fans of JJK are ruining the fandom, they're all so horny" as if all us are horny, let alone engage in the anime for said reasons.

The same people *cough cough* misogynists *cough* who say that be the same people who will have a wallpaper of someone like Nami as their header and she'll have boobs bigger than what she has in canon.

Oooh, y'all don't like folks be objectifying the JJK men, huh? Even though for years female characters have gotten the treatment in Shonen. You cannot be dragging Gojo fans when you want to be Makima's dog. Stop that now.

Also, its not just the men! Uh, Yuki Tsukumo exists! She has a lot of fans who find her attractive. There's Shoko, Utahime, Takako, Mei Mei...

I'm waiting for the day 143 gets animated because I just know people are gonna go 👀.

Like, either way, if you're a person who gets constantly horny over your faves, why are you upset with someone doing the same?

I saw this meme post about how people tend to overlook the story and its details and only focus on the attractive cast and fights. And some people were like "but people are only focusing on the fights and attractive cast".

No, they're not. You're missing the point.

For one, you can find the characters attractive and enjoy the fights. That is fine. But at the same time, don't miss the story. Pay attention to it because it's just as important, if not more.

Second, not everyone is focused on just the fights and cast. If that was the cast, why do we have theories and meta posts? Why do we have people writing fics that study the character they're writing about? If no one is focusing on the story and only like the fights and attractiveness of the characters, then those kind of posts from fans wouldn't exist.

[yuridovewing]

Honestly it's kinda weird to me how people refuse to hold specifically Ivypool and Blossomfall to a higher standard for how they treat their sisters. I've seen recent pushback claiming it's only misogyny (or in the case of Ivypool because she isn't a 'perfect victim') and like sure, in some cases the hate is because someone is being misogynistic or mad they aren't perfect victims after their stint in the Dark Forest. But not everyone who dislikes those two is doing it in bad faith, and it kinda feels like an oversimplification to say that.

Neither Blossomfall or Ivypool face any consequences from their sisters for how they treated them- even in extreme cases like Ivypool throwing the SkyClan rescue party under the bus explicitly because Dovewing and Tigerheart volunteered together, we aren't supposed to be angry at her- Twigbranch going 'Well I guess since crossclan relationships are the worst thing you can ever do it's okay the mentor I was supposed to be able to trust prevented a formal search for my birth Clan when she knew how important it was to me because she's still beefing with her sister :)' says as much. And almost every time they argue, Dovewing usually is the one making the most effort to amend things. Blossomfall's grudge against Briarlight is never resolved- I could be forgetting but I don't think she ever even apologizes. So is it any wonder people would want Briarlight and Dovewing to cut their sisters off- or at the very least until Ivypool and Blossomfall stopped their toxic behavior? IDK man, again I'm not denying there are bad faith criticisms on the basis that they're female characters but I wish people would accept that Ivypool and Blossomfall aren't good sisters at all and rarely do anything to actually better themselves (or their relationships with their siblings) because the Erins simply don't think it's a problem to begin with.

totally agree with you on people using “it’s just misogyny” as an oversimplified defense for criticism. like, yeah, in some cases, its people being too harsh on the female characters compared to their male counterparts. i won’t deny there’s misogyny in play with some people who hate ivypool and blossomfall, i think it’s good to keep that in mind when trying to criticize the series that like… would we hold a male character accountable for what we’re criticizing the female character for? like if mousewhisker or whoever was in blossomfall’s shoes, would more people like him?

but there’s that, and then there’s just “well you just hate ivypool because you hate female characters”.

i think what really bothers me about that defense in these cases is that the fandom has a big history of putting down the female characters around ivypool or blossomfall in order to prop them up. like, the hate ivypool gets here and there is just not comparable to the sheer vitriol dovewing got. blossomfall having haters here and there is sorta weak compared to the ableism lobbed at briarlight. (and if im feeling kinda brave…. millie as well… like. she’s abusive to briarlight, and narratively she’s far worse than blossomfall ever is, but let’s not pretend people weren’t super weird about her “stealing” graystripe and the blossomfall stuff was just another excuse to rant about how millie is a useless deadweight character who deserves to be maimed for ruining the childhood ship, as opposed to actually being mad at her toxicity. like i never saw a single person until recently criticize how she treated briarlight, just that she’s a big ol’ bitch for snapping at blossomfall)

to say the only reason why anyone would be uncomfortable with these characters is misogyny or abuse apologism is just to be really surface level, because to prop these characters up, people are often shitty to the other female abuse victim characters. and i’m not saying people who love them are ableist misogynistic abuse apologists, because that’s just silly at the end of the day (i know plenty of people who love these characters because of how nuanced they can be in the right hands) hell, i don’t even necessarily think these characters are “abusive”, just toxic and poorly handled by the narrative. i just wish more people would acknowledge how these characters are treated vs. how the “other side” gets treated.

[noses-in-winter]

Isn't She Lovely (M/F, F sneeze, 18+)

I do not often write M/F fics where the F character is sneezing unless I really, REALLY love a pairing, so! This is a fic where @ezynse 's OC Tala is sick + sneezy + in a bath and my OC Royce makes her nut and takes care of her! I have several written pieces w these two, so I may post more later....we shall See! Tala is 5'2, 23, chubby, works in a museum, dresses like Arthur the aardvark but with more subdued colors and better shoes. She's very smart, empathic and kind, and is NOT used to being treated like a princess. Royce worships her body, and for good reason. She sneezes AND orgasms in this fic! Yay! Royce is: 6'1, 26, simultaneously fat + beef, a steampunky, Victorian prince who worships a goddess whose whole thing is "you OWE your bitch an orgasm". He adores Tala and is rly bisexual in the way he takes care of her, I know you guys know what I mean. He's soft, sensitive and dramatic as hell.

As the title suggests, this IS NSFW, so pls don't read or rb if you're not an adult! Fic is 1.7k words. DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-SNEEZE BLOGS, THANK YOOOOOU _____________________________________________________

This was, most certainly, not the place that Tala wanted to have this approaching sneezing fit. To her dismay, the signs were clear in her heart and sinuses: Holding back would not be an option. 

Even amid the panic of the approaching sneezes, she almost didn’t want to climax. This moment with Royce, intimate and heavy and real, was too perfect to stop. When had a guy ever cared about her getting to climax, or even feel any pleasure during the experience at all? Nobody had ever held her like this in her life. There were all those hookups, sure, but there was no holding involved in any of those instances, or even a call back. And now she had a boyfriend that would cuddle up as soon as they got into bed. Or close on the couch. Or in the jacuzzi bath in his huge apartment. That last option had seemed the most appropriate for the evening, given the cold that had plagued her for the past three days. 

Her nose dripped. Tala sniffled and reached for the damp washcloth she’d used to clean up back when this had been a totally innocent bubble bath. She drew the cloth to her nose, wiping at it carefully. The texture simply irritated her quivering nostrils further.

Royce scooted closer to meet Tala’s pelvis. This only urged his thigh against her front as she rolled her hips against it. That’s what got the first little moan to shiver out of Tala. She started to lean forward, rocking against the motion as she let her cheek drop against Royce’s shoulder. After a moment of taking several shivering breaths, Tala came closer to kiss along Royce’s neck. Immediately, he took in a sharp gasp of air. 

“F-Fuck…Tala…” 

Oh, the way he was moaning now, too. It took a lot to get Royce to utter a curse. She had struggled to believe it at first, but it was clear that Royce really had meant it when he said pleasing her was his greatest dream, as well as the duty his goddess bestowed upon him. 

She pressed her chest against his, sure that he could feel her nipples, perky with the chill of her exposed skin. He was the sort who found a woman’s breast nothing less than a gift from the heavens, so his reaction was expected and immediate. “Oh, heart, you’re cold…” he exhaled, not quite against her ear. 

Tala only had to shift slightly when Royce reached behind him, retrieving a clean washcloth from the stack near the bath. He dipped the cloth into the hot water before drawing it up to Tala’s tit. He gave her areola teasing rubs through the warm washcloth. Tala’s breath snagged in pleasure as the texture of the cloth rubbed against her nipple. She let out that pleased little hum that she hadn’t yet realized was the first indication that she was nearing climax.

The moan from Royce that came a moment later synced perfectly with Tala’s. “My love…”

Tala couldn’t respond. Her breaths came in faster and faster bursts, her thighs starting to shudder around his. Fuck, she was close. “Royce,” she exhaled on a shivering breath. Okay, she needed this rhythm, needed the way he held her, rubbed her, kept her close and whispered to her---- Ohhhhhhhhh.

.....Okay. Okay…..Oooookaaaaay...

She melted into Royce’s arms, the highs of orgasm rolling through her. Tala’s hips give one--no, two more instinctive bucks as the feeling enveloped her still. Her thighs quaked around Royce’s knee. “Theeere we go, my angel…” he breathed, drawing close to kiss her cheek. “Oh, Tala. You're enough to turn a monotheistic man into a believer of all.”

Tala’s eyes were shut as she sighed comfortably. Despite the relaxing post-climax snugglefest, her nose still ran, and tickled. She sniffled, much louder than intended. The hot bath was amazing, of course, but the parts of her damp body that were exposed to cooler air immediately prickled with goosebumps. “Sorry…” she said with a little cough. “Just starting to get col--...” As if on cue, Tala trailed off with an irritated little flare of her nostrils. Still stradling Royce’s thigh, she could only hold herself close to him and turn her head away.  “Hh’kkt! Kgxtch!”

“Bless you, my heart,” Royce whispered, peppering kisses into Tala’s hair. One hand reached up to cup one of Tala’s breasts. Royce gave it a ginger thumbing; Her nipples were still firm from that orgasm, and his tender touches were more than relaxing. 

 “Th-Thank you. I’m sorry. I-I was trying to say, umb, sdf!...Don’t…Don’t sell yourself short,” she said on a quiet exhale. Tala chuckled with a tired sigh. “You’re the one with the sturdy knee, and all.” She blushed and turned her head to kiss his cheek. He was prickly from going a day without shaving. This was a sensation that used to be a turn-off for Tala, but with Royce it was unbearably hot to her. 

“Oh, my love, a sturdy man in a seat is simply there to fulfill the duties his goddess bestows upon him,”  Royce said, just close enough against her ear to get Tala leaning into the whisper. “Keeping fine ladies steady as they moan…” He rubbed his thumb against Tala’s nipple. “....and squirm….” 

Tala let out a shivery little breath, nestling her nose along his cheekbone in just the way he loved. On cue, Royce wiggled slightly beneath her with a little laugh. Always the saaame spot that got him. “Let me take care of you, now…” she said with a sniffle. He was absolutely hard. He had been for ages now. When Tala reached down into the water and found Royce’s firm cock, she circled the tip with her thumb. Slowly, her black eyes moved up to meet Royce’s. “Is this okay?”

Royce’s lashes fluttered shut with a trembling little breath of his own. He sniffled and straightened himself, looking at Tala with a concerned knit to his brow. “L-Let’s leave the tub, mm? Get ourselves… comfortable.”

Royce, of course, was much bigger than Tala. When he stepped out of the tub first, the water level dropped quick enough to expose Tala’s bare shoulders without pause. She sniffled and rose with his help. Royce wrapped a towel around Tala first before taking care of himself, hurrying to pat every inch dry. They both flirted as they waited, in the soft and loving way they had. Royce had made it clear early on that her chest was a godsend, so Tala was pleasantly accustomed to the way he watched it shift as she moved, and jiggled when she stopped. Especially when she…

“Iht’tTSHHih! hhH’KSHhhiue!” Ohh, two sudden sneezes. Tala was at least able to pull her towel over her nose, though that perfectly exposed her chest as it wobbled with the sudden outburst. 

“Bless you, my dear. Heavens, Tala…” Royce breathed, slapping both hands over his heart. “Seeing you like this! I would love nothing more than to paint a proper portrait of you again soon. As free as you are now, how beautiful.”

Tala blushed at the memory, finishing off her drying efforts. “The portrait I sneezed through, you mean?" she said with a sniffle. “Sorry again, for messing up the painting. I-I know it was hard for me to, uh…stay still…”

“Messing up? Oh, no, no, unthinkable,” Royce said with a smile. “You, my love of loves, my goddess of goddesses, could never ‘mess up’ in a moment of showing off your true beauty. The way you quivered in anticipation, the way your eyes glossed over as your--”

“Htt’ktt-choo!” No, damn it! “Hihhgstch! Hoh, I’m sorry…” Tala breathed, lashes still fluttering. Okay, it was getting harder for her to shake this little bursts of sneezes after. 

Luckily, Royce was scooping her up into his arms in an instant. Tala balked and wrapped both arms around his neck. That lasted for about two seconds, at least. She still had to sneeze. Stifling was getting harder, so Tala pinched her nose shut the best she could. “Hggkt! Hhktch!” “Ohhh, dear…” he cooed, nestling his nose against her temple. “That cold still has you in its grip, my heart. Perhaps we ought to get you tucked in bed…”

Tala shook her head and simply let Royce carry her from the bathroom. “No, no, no…I’m okay, Royce, really…I’m a little tired, that’s all, but nothing I can’t handle. It’s too early to sleep, anyway…”

Royce chuckled, letting his nose nuzzle her cheek. “Well, then we won’t sleep…” he purred before setting Tala down on his bed. Quick as lightning, he shot over to turn on one of the low, romantic lamps on the dresser before getting back to her in an instant. He brought along a box of tissues to put on the bedside table. Tala blushed and rubbed beneath her nose. “Um, th-thanks. Hope I don’t need those anymore…”

“It’s perfectly fine if you do, heart…” Royce said, starting to pull the covers back. Tala needn’t any urging before hurrying under the blankets. She snuggled up into Royce’s arms instantly, embracing her sturdy boyfriend. “I want you to rest, though, alright? I don’t mind if I don’t climax tonight. I can do that any time. All I want is for you to lean back, relax, and allow me to tend to you.” 

Tend to her. Did Tala ever think that anyone would want to tend to her? 

“And don’t think about smothering your sneezes, dear. Use all the tissues you need, but don’t give yourself a headache.”

“Mb’kay,” Tala said in a stuffy little hum. She simply leaned back, allowing Royce to carry out whatever duties his goddess gave him. 

[fandomofisolation]

My own internalized misogyny pisses me the fuck off sometimes, because I NEVER give female characters the same understanding and compassion I give male characters.

I love Sam and Dean Winchester of The CW's "Supernatural" (2005-2020). I love Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet of HBO Max' "Our Flag Means Death" (2022-2023). I love Marvel's Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Loki. These characters have done some really fucked up shit. These characters have killed people. Most of them have killed without remorse - often for reasons that I personally cannot see as justifiable.

But I forgive all those characters. Don't get me wrong, I don't just love them because they're well-written, three dimensional, compelling characters. I love them like I care about them. Like they're my fictional friends. Like if I knew them in real life, I'd want them to be proud of me. I think that in their universes, they are good people.

I know that it sucks that we don't have as many female characters like that. But what sucks even more is that when we do I hate them! What is wrong with me??

Katniss Everdeen from Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games. I read those books in high school and I hated her because I thought she was selfish. Selfish! Like, what? Who do I think I am?

Clarke Griffin of The CW's "The 100" (2014-2020). I had beef with her because I couldn't agree with some of the decisions she made, so I disliked her whole character.

Fiona Gallagher of Showtime's "Shameless" (2011-2021). *Season 4 spoilers* After Liam got into the cocaine in Season Four and was hospitalized for an overdose, I was so mad at her. I was like, "You stupid bitch! How could you just leave cocaine just lying around when you have a three-year-old in the house? That is so dumb and irresponsible!"

What stands out to me is that Katniss, Clarke and Fiona are facing circumstances every bit as difficult as any of those male characters I mentioned previously. They've lived through immense trauma. They're up against insurmountable odds. But I don't give them the same grace that I do Sam or Ed or Bucky.

I hold women, myself included, to a much high standard than men. It's ridiculous because that double standard is itself part of the very same systematic oppression that creates so many obstacles for women already (before you even ask, yes I'm including trans women. "Women" always includes trans women. Women are women are women. Genitals and chromosomes do not determine gender. Terfs go fuck yourselves).

It's not fair. It's not fair to the people writing female characters. It's not fair to female actors. It's not fair to the women and girls all over the world who need to see themselves represented in well-written, three-dimensional, complex, imperfect characters. It's not fair to me. I am part of the problem!

So anyway. Not cool, self. I gotta work on undoing those unhealthy thought patterns. Wish me luck!

[jpitha]

Just a Little Further 23

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

It's still early, so we go and find a cafe and have lunch. Once again, I don't have to use my voice, they just give us our meal for free. I really should get an idea about money though. I know they are called Skys, I know at least part of them are small green metallic coins - actually they look like the same metal the Throne and Chairs are made out of, I wonder if they are - and I know that everyone uses them here to buy stuff. I should ask about banks. We should pay a visit to one. I'm sure they'd be... happy to explain it to me.

That's for later though. For now, we work our way to the dock, and find the internal docking bay that Omar found.

Walking in, it becomes clear that we have a lot of work ahead. High Line is in here thanks to Omar earlier and it's...

It's junk.

Even when it was operating, it was clearly made up of a hodgepodge of between three and five different starships. This thing has been limping along on patches and ad hoc repairs for centuries it looks like.

Human ships from our side of the galaxy tend to be very personalized. Riots of color, patterns, little flourishes here and there that speak to the tastes and preferences of the operator. It's probably a function of the fact that all our ships are AI operated. It's their body, and they decorate and personalize it.

High Line is... downright drab in comparison.

Grey on grey with streaks of soot and... is that rust? It looks like rust. What would rust on a spacecraft hull? High Line is all boxes and blocks stuck together where they fit or where a need was found. I'm much more used to the sweeping, flowing shapes the Starjumpers have. In addition to looking fast, they look much more elegant. Even our smaller ships, the Frigates and Destroyers tend towards looking more like living creatures than... a box.

As I walk around staring at things and - apparently - making a sour face, Starlight, Ocean and River are standing there, looking nervous and worried. "So Empress... Here is High Line. We admit, it's a little more worse for wear than the ship you came to us on, but.." Starlight stands a little taller. "It got my forebears here all those years ago and through all that time put many light-years on it shuttling people around the system and still held air and gravity. It's not much to look at, but it was ours."

I mean, they're right. Maybe I'm being too hard on it. They got centuries of use out of with with barely any maintenance. All the more reason to refit it right and make it soar once again.

Omar seems like he's having a great time. Walking around, taking measurements going in and out. "Melody, it might not be much to look at now, but it's actually a pretty good foundation! We can add some improved thrusters, beef up the armor, add a wormhole generator and some laser batteries and while we won't be able to take on a dreadnought or even a Starjumper, we'll be able to hold our own against anything local we've seen. It's got plenty of room inside too. You won't have a suite of rooms like at the Royal Dawn, but I should be able to make you an... appropriately royal room.

"At this point a starship is better than no starship so I'll take what I can get. How long will the refit take, Omar?"

He looks at the ship, at the Aviens and then at me. "It will depend on their printer and how well we can integrate the designs from my copy of the database but maybe a month? Hopefully less?"

"Well then, you had better get started Omar. You spend your time getting High Line up to your satisfaction, and let me know about your progress. For now, we will be staying at the Royal Dawn. I don't know if there's other royal quarters that we just haven't found or if the hotel is made out of the original royal quarters, but I'm satisfied with our current accommodations. Make your own schedule and if you need something or someone, just let me know. Starlight" - I look pointedly at them - "can help you with any personnel needs you have." Starlight bobs their head eagerly. "If you need to speak to me or the others, you should be able to though the Reach. Just... concentrate and it should work."

"Okay Melody, I'll get on it. Come on Starlight, show me the printer. Ocean, go see what kind of help you can find for us. River, go see about the condition of the other starships. Some of them have to be operable, how else is food getting here?" Omar looks up at us as the Aviens run off in different directions to obey Omar. "What happened to Ottarn, that Mariens who took their ship and tried to run? If nothing else, we could use that ship."

"They went with FarReach. They told me that they scooped up Ottarn and their ship and were going to take them where they wanted to go."

"Hmm, do you think that means back to human space?" Um'reli asks and she's looking at the ship.

"I have no idea, I don't think so? I'm not sure what they'd find out there to benefit them."

This time Ava puts her hands on her hips and stares at us. "You mean, other that some sympathetic ears to listen to their story about a human who has installed herself as Empress in their space and might be willing to lend a hand with a couple of Starjumpers and their assorted lasers and missiles? You did lock the Gate after FarReach left, right?"

Uh oh. I forgot.

"Uh, sure thing Ava, let me just go... double check that it's locked. I reach out and I can feel the Gate from here though it's faint and... fuzzy. The lock was simple enough though I push here... pull that... and...

"Okay, yes, it's locked."

"Good. We don't want Ottarn coming back with reinforcements or something just yet. Later though... let them come. We'll show them." Ava's grin is worrying me a little bit. She seems much too excited about showing off.

I grab Ava and Um'reli "Come on, let's leave Omar to his work. We have other things to take care of. I think we're going to have to hire on some help, but before that we're going to have to figure out money."

Ava scoffs as we walk "You're still going on about money? Just make people help us out."

"Ava we're looking to help out here, not be overthrown in a couple weeks. If I make people help us, the moment we walk away people will start to wonder why they're helping us at all."

"Melody has a point Ava. What is it that we do here?" Um'reli is really good at throwing cold water on Ava's plans. I'm glad she came. Without her I have a hunch that Ava would be talking me into all kinds of bad ideas.

"Builders seem to work like the AIs on Starbases back home. So it's not like we have no job."

"Well then, let's go back to the Throne and do some work. I'm tired of walking around trying to mooch free stuff from people because they're scared of Melody." Um'reli stars walking back towards the Throne. I really don't have anything else to do, so I follow. "You coming, Ava?"

"I guess. I don't have anything else to do." Ava looks around somewhat wistfully and follows. I wonder what she was hoping to do instead. Probably have me order people to give her something.

As we walk into the entryway to the Throne - there's still no back door, I really need to find one or make one - something catches my eye. I walk over and... "It's a shrine"

"What?" Ava peeks over my shoulder "Oh, it's beautiful."

It really is. Someone made a drawing of us in some kind of pastel medium, like pencils or chalk. It's... me at the top, my wings spread wide and I'm glowing. Below that, it's Um'reli, Ava and Omar standing tall and proud looking up. Under that is a decent representation of hundreds of people bowing before us. Written on the bottom in the same local script I see all over it says "May They Protect Us." The drawing is on a little easel and there are flowers and candles all around it in a semicircle.

Protect them from what though?

"These flowers are amazing! I've never seen ones like this before" Um'reli bends down to get a closer look. She takes a deep breath "And they smell so good, Ava, Melody, you should smell them!"

Well if Um'reli, a K'laxi can smell them and not immediately break out in allergic hives, it's probably fine for us to smell too. I bend down low and... they smell... familiar? Why is that?

Ava straightens "These were grown. We need to find out where the gardens are and visit it!"

Um'reli stands as well. "After we get some work done Ava. We need to show everyone that we do something and aren't a drain on resources because Melody can order them around and they can't say no."

"What's the point of all this power if we don't use it!"

"Ava, we 'use it' like you want to and people will come after us with guns and knives. Who was the Empress before Melody?" Um'reli is looking hard at Ava.

"We have no idea."

"Exactly." Um'reli continues up the stairs to the Throne itself. I follow and Ava pouts but doesn't say anything further.

In the Builder room, Um'reli and Ava sit down. Their bodies go distant and they are integrating. "Okay Ava, Um'reli. You get down to work, I'm going to see about finding a bank and talking to them. Any idea where one is?"

"One moment Melody..." Ava is searching. "Okay, looks like a bank is down the street from the Administration building. It's not far."

"Thanks! Just reach out to me if you need anything." I head back out and down the stairs of the throne, passing by the little shine again. It really is cute, though I wish they put something a little more specific about what they wanted us to protect them from. Oh well, with our luck we'll find out soon enough.

It's not actually a long walk to the bank, Ava was right, it was just down the street from the Administration building. As I walk past I see that a couple people are cleaning up the barricades finally. I wave as I walk by, and they stand smartly and bow. Nice.

Soon enough, I come across what I assume is the bank. It's a large building, made out of the same material as the Administration building, marking it as very old. There is a large double door in the front made of what looks like the same metal as the coins everyone uses. The doors stand open with two people (an Azurian and a Mariens) standing out front. With a little wave to them, I walk in.

It's... a bank. Really. Tellers, little booths where people can discuss finance, even a little table before you get in line to fill out small slips of paper. I walk over to an Aviens who is sitting at a desk by the front door. They look up and do a double take when they see me. I'm not wearing my wings and crown anymore, but I still have on the gown from earlier.

"Uh, good day Holy One, what may this one help you with?" Holy One. Interesting.

"I would like to speak to the Bank Manager, please."

They rush to stand and their chair slides back with a squawk. "Of course, Holy One. Please, wait right here." The gesture over to a small group of chairs up against the wall. I can't really think of a reason why not, so I go over and sit.

Next to me is one of the pressure suited people. Up close, I can see how their suits are segmented metal colored bronze and completely decorated in elaborate carvings. They really are quite beautiful. Their helmets are almost completely featureless except for a bar where human eyes would be and there is what looks like a speaker on their neck.

I clear my throat. "Pardon me, I'm so sorry, but I haven't met one of you yet. Can you tell me your name and the name of your people?"

With just the most subtle clank and whir, they turn their head. "I am known as Vaaqo, and here, people call us Falor in your tongue." His head inclines slightly. "That is to say, the language that most people here speak call us Falor. I do not know your word for us in your Builder tongue."

"Falor is fine with me." I say brightly, and then stop. "Unless it is insulting to you or something."

They make a gesture with their hands. The Nanites indicate that they are indicating no. Oh, that makes sense! If they're suited all the time, most body language markers are lost. Hand gestures could take over for a bunch of nonspeaking conversation.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Vaaqo, thank you so much for the information. I have so many questions, but I will only ask one for now. Do you have to stay in your suit all the time?"

The same gesture meaning no. "We are fortunate that the upper sunward lobe of the Reach has a pressure door. We're able to maintain our helium methane atmosphere and higher ambient pressure and live suit free. The remains of our starship are installed up there, and we use it to control our own breathing gas."

They took their ship apart to survive? "Oh but that means you're trapped here! Once we open the gates and build more ships, we can send a message to your people."

Another gesture. The Nanites say it might be a smile "That is kind of you to offer, Empress. Before... well before, we were in the middle of a war. We were offered refuge here and so we do not know if any others of our kind remain. It will be... nice to find out for sure."

They're holding something back. I think they don't want to insult you.

It's fine. I see no need to compel them to tell me what they're hiding. It's probably something embarrassing to them or they think to me.

Luckily for all of us, you have no shame.

Ha ha.

As I argue with my Nanites, a Mariens walks up, looking nervous. "Hol-Empress, what a pleasant surprise. Thank you for taking the time to visit our fine financial establishment! My name is Utaid and I am at your service." He bows elaborately.

I stand and try to tower only slightly. I want to impress, not intimidate. "The pleasure is all mine Utaid, I am happy to have met you. I wish to open an account so that I will be able to pay people for services they render me."

They look shocked. "E-Empress, of course. We will do everything in our power to help. Since... all here is yours that of course includes all the money stored in the different banks across the Reach."

I nod. "While this is true, I am not a tyrant. I wish to make sure that people are paid and that operations continue as closely to before as possible. Please accept payment requests that come in from people in my name and keep records. We will do our utmost to make sure that the money going in is equal to or greater than the money coming out... in the long term."

They visibly relax. I wonder if they thought I was just going to come in and demand all the currency?

"It will be our most sincere pleasure Empress. We are proud that you have selected us to carry out your financial orders in Your name. We shall set up everything and dispatch a runner to you when it has been completed. I assume you are residing at the Royal Dawn hotel?"

"Yes, that's correct. How did you know?"

They look smug and embarrassed? How did they manage that? "Even though Reach of the Might of Vzzx is a very large starbase, rumors still seem to fly faster than light."

"Ah, thank you Utaid for all your help. I await your runners." They bow low again and I walk out.

Huh, that was easy. I guess people are starting to realize that I really am Empress and I really am trying to help everyone. Feeling very happy, I begin to walk back to the Throne.

"Uh, Melody there might be a problem." Um'reli's voice sounds worried in my head. She figured out how to contact me directly, very nice!

"What is it Um'reli?"

"Just a minute ago, I saw what looked like an alert. Ava and I checked it out and there's something going on at the main transit hub station. We either don't understand the alert or can't ready it yet. Can you check it out please?"

"Oh neat! I haven't been there yet. Sure, I'll go down and check it out. You two stay up there and be my eyes and ears."

The transit station is right around the corner from the bank. It reminds me a lot of photos of transit stations back on Earth. platforms, people milling about, advertising. But I see no crowds or anything worrying. I connect to the Starbase and think to Ava and Um'reli "I don't see any problem here, what's going on?"

"It's not here, it's at the main station. Get on the next train and ride two stops, you'll see it."

Oh, okay. Just as Ava finished speaking, a train rolls up. Like a lot of this place, it clearly was very fancy a long long time ago. The fact that it's still working is pretty impressive, even if it looks a bit run down. I walk on, and look around. There are seats all along the walls of the train car and poles along the middle to hang on to. Mentally I shrug and sit down near the door. After a moment, there's a trilling chime and the doors close.

With a lurch and a hiss of brakes, we get moving. I wonder if this train is automated, or if someone drives it. I should ask later. I'm lost in thought for the ride through the first station stop, but then I look around and realize everyone is staring at me.

"Oh, Hello!" I say brightly.

Immediately, the people closest to me drop to the ground, bowing their heads. "Oh, thank you, but you don't have to do that right now, please just sit. I'm just riding the train over to the hub station. My Builders tell me there's some kind of issue and I'm going to check it out."

"But, Empress... Surely you have people that you can send to do that for you?" It's a Mariens sitting across from me. They look amused.

"Oh not right now. I'm... between retainers and assistants right now. One of my Builders, Omar is helping to repair the High Line, that Aviens ship, and my other two, Ava and Um'reli are sitting in their Chairs, assisting with the operation of the Reach." Oh wait. "Do you want a job? I do find myself needing more people to help out with-" I gesture "-all this. I'm not sure how much to pay yet but I did just come back from the bank, so I'll be able to pay you; I'm sure I'll work all the rest out soon enough."

The Mariens chuckles "Thank you for the generous offer Empress, but I quite like my job. If you so order it... of course I'd help. If you're just asking though, no thank you."

"Oh, that's quite all right. I don't want to order you. But, if you know anyone that would like to help, have them come to the Throne chamber tomorrow, we'll see what we can do!" I look around at everyone trying very hard to look like they're not listening in. "That goes for anyone here too! If you want a job, come see us, if you know someone that does, send them. I need help, and I would love for it to be you!"

And with that same trilling chime, the doors open and I'm at the hub station.

Ah. Okay. I see what Ava and Um'reli are talking about.

There's a riot.

Part 24

[collinnmckinley]

Modern Warfare III Review:

Okay so, I finished my first play through last night 5 days ago and ngl… lmao i had to open a gameplay so i could recount what actually my thoughts were at those times because I was confused half the time if not more from the story.

So here’s my unfiltered, filled with spoilers, and honest review. 

Before anything let me just say this; I was wrong, my theory was wrong (although a banger if you ask me. Hire me Activision), and nothing I said in that post mattered. I’ll swallow my words… But I am slightly annoyed by it.

Here're the points I had problems with:

The story: it was…. Idk how to put it other than it being super fucking fast and filled with plot holes. Like half the time I was confused as to what was going on or I would forget what needed to be done. I think I blacked out 40% of the playthrough, because I would go into an OCM (Open Combat Missions) and Graves/Laswell would be like “bruh you need to do this we don't got time for stroll on the park get to it” and I’m just running around like a headless chicken trying to figure out what are the obj. I think they could’ve made it a bit slow paced, like MWII or MW even. Those had perfect story pace, even after the fact MWII didn’t have good writing. I just thought, MWIII would be impactful in a way the previous MWs weren’t, the ending WAS, but it took them 5 hours to of dragging and stretching one fucking thing, literally one thing. Because if you see the campaign in a way, even the bad guy, Makarov, wasn’t THAT impressive. I legit didn’t give a single fuck about Makarov or what his motives were, I just followed with 141’s intuitions.

Speaking of Makarov’s plans, he just appeared out of nowhere, and he has some beef with Farah and Urzakstan for some reason. Why? They didn’t specify other than he wants to “bring Russia to its old glory”. And of course they had to put fucking Farah into middle of this fiasco because why wouldn’t they. I hate the fact that she’s STILL to this day the center of the fucking MW storyline. She didn’t have much of a role to play in MWII campaign but the Raids took the center part. And that annoyed me tbh. Alas, we can’t have everything we ask for. (I would’ve stanned Farah in the long run but her holding hands with Graves in season 5 REALLY annoyed me but that's for another day).

Operation 627: Misleading. That's what I have to describe this mission, when i read the mission name, I was expecting it to be Price centered mission. I really wanted it to be a Price centered mission because the number 627 is Price’s identity. So to just take the number away and give it to Makarov really irked me if I’m being honest. And the whole marketing for it was misleading too (I’m looking at you barry). Gameplay wise it was okay I guess, typical CoD campaign mission.

Open Combat Missions: now here things gets fucked up. I was not expecting to be thrown right into OCMs right away. And by the end of my 400th try I was just running around and shooting without any care. I tried to do it stealthy, and with the enemies standing around the objectives that you CANNOT avoid it's almost impossible to even go undetected. It’s like a mixture of campaign and DMZ, which BTW is a really bad combination. And also, whenever I try to restart from the checkpoint it starts from the TOP! You have to do it all over again. I just wish they added the checkpoint thing it would’ve made so much easier. I know they want to make it feel like DMZ but it just SUCKS. And I wish it would've been at least a choice that you could make before the mission starts. Basically either you go OCM or just a regular mission, but in this case you’re forced to go to OCM. 

(Also Farah’s Arabic sucks ass. At least they casted a good VO for Dena who knew how to speak Arabic properly.)

Reactor: again, another OCM. But this time, it was Price I played as. Now here everything felt off for me. Normally we would be playing as Soap or Gaz in ANY scenario because that would be the logical thing to do. But when the camera angle shifted to Price’s perspective, everything changed. And following this mission, every mission we got to play as Price just gave me a fear of sorts. Same as before, hard not to go undetected but more manageable than “Precious Cargo”. By the end of the mission Price almost gets incapacitated by the toxic gas, and that's what we see in the trailer. And from it we knew someone’s gonna die but it was not Price for sure, because he lives and kicks ass left and right.

Price being an errand boy: there’s a cutscene before mission ‘Payload, where Price and Farah get together to infiltrate an underground bunker to stop some rockets. In that cutscene it felt like the roles have been switched between the two. When Price was this leading figure in Farah’s life that had an enormous impact that changed the course of her life, now she’s acting like he owes her? It’s the other way around if you ask me, and she owes him fucking big. I don’t know man, I just hated the way she treated him the way she did. They keep giving her a piece of the story bigger than she could chew, and Price is left with crumbs (even with the amount of cutscenes and gameplay we have with him), he almost felt like he was being LED by everyone around him instead of him LEADING the team (and Farah). He felt like what Soap felt like in MWII, even Soap had a major ass role in MWII. That cutscene, as much as he looked good in it, felt really undermining Price for me. And the audacity Farah had when she said “do you trust me” to Price. Girl, after what you pulled with Graves, I would never trust you with anything. And Price giving his utmost loyalty to her just didn’t feel like he would do something like that. And I mean that in the most respectful way. When Price told her about Shadow company calling a hit on 141 and Shepherd being a bad man, I legit thought she would actually be shocked and side with Price, but what did she say? “My weapons are my business” fuck you Farah, and fuck your weapons. In conclusion, yeah Price felt more like an errand boy than the Captain of 141 task force. The mission that follows that cutscene was almost standard campaign mission. I say almost because it still felt like OCM.

Yuri Volkov: I’ll be honest, I was not expecting Yuri to make an appearance, I was expecting ‘Roach’ to be there more than anything. And we finally got to see Yuri’s face. I liked how they took Yuri’s story and twisted it around so he never 'betrayed' 141 by keeping the fact that he worked with Makarov from them. I guess Laswell is indeed useful sometimes. The fact that they made him be useful to 141 without having him take one in the face from Price was indeed surprising. (I was screaming in discord chat about it to Mari when he appeared.) Though we don't know what his fate is, but I'm 100% sure he's still alive and I have a feeling he'll be joining 141 in the next installment if not in the upcoming seasons of MWIII. I just hope he got away safe. That man sounded like a rascal lol, he definitely has some stuff up his sleeves.

Oh and special mention about Nikolai, am I happy to see Nik again. That man deserves every bit of love. No MW or 141 would be complete without Nik. 

Stealth: For some reason this game was made to be played as ‘go big or go fucking die’ because in “Deep Cover”, you play as Laswell trying to sneak into the Arklov base, to meet up with Yuri, and i got caught like at least 10 times before I had to restart all over again, and again and again. The fucking stealth in this game is horrendous. Whoever made it IMPOSSIBLE to stealth, I hope you choke on water you drink and recover so you know how I felt all those tries I had to restart. It’s the same case even in regular missions, you either get caught even in fucking desguise, or they start shooting you for no fucking reason. I walk far, I'm too far from the obj, I walk close they shoot me. Fuck me man, I just had to fucking power walking through the first half of this whats suppose to be a 10 minutes walking simulator, took me 3 minutes of multiple tries because of that. Not gonna lie, I was kind of expecting Laswell to meet her demise in that mission because of the unavoidable missiles (maybe I was little bit of hoping it too who knows), but she survived, yaay.

Alex & Farah: then comes in the Master and the Lapdog duo. At this point I’ll never get tired of complaining about Farah and her personality. They tried so hard to make her into a girlboss, and they would have succeeded if they just left her story as is after MWII. But no, they had to drag her and her lapdog into this story and make something out of it.

I am just annoyed by everything she says. She keeps secrets from Price, the man who basically saved her life to become the commander she is today, her motives are unclear, she says she does this to protect her country and that she doesn’t get out of it to protect but stays INSIDE it protecting it (her words not mine), extends hands with a war criminal when she said that she doesn’t work with people who kills civilians for no reason, she compares herself, 141 and PRICE to the Shadows/Shepherd by saying “we’re all dangerous”, and the icing on the cake, her Arabic is horrendous. I know because I speak Arabic fluently. You might say “but Jay thats her accent you can’t judge her like that”, I know how Arabic accents sounds like, and this bitch’s is fucking incoherent half the time if not all the time. 

And Alex… oh boy, this man is a fucking idiot lmfao. He had good intentions in MW2019, and I liked him there, but they should’ve just killed him off. But no, they had to bring him back. What are they gonna do now with Soap huh? They're gonna bring him back too? Also didn’t Keller say “he’s tired of getting told who his friends are” and didn’t want to follow the CIA blindly anymore? What’s he doing now with Farah, hm? I’ve never seen a boy so delusional like him before. 

So many plot holes in these two characters only, I hate how they’re written.

Makarov lives: we… never got to learn the reason. Yes I went back and watched the gameplay today just to make sure I was not wrong, they never say why Price stopped Soap from killing Mak in that heli. “John he’s in custody he’s not going anywhere. Stand down.” FOR WHAT?! If they knew Makarov had this much power in the world, they should’ve just executed him. But noooooo they had to keep him alive for plot progress. If he died then and there in that heli, Soap would’ve been alive at the end. Was it because Shepherd said “bring him out ALIVE”? Or was it because Price wanted a win so bad that he threw his moral ambiguity out of the fucking heli he was riding? Man, I miss the MW2019 Price. But we’ll get to Price’s personality section later.

Yeah, we never got to learn the reason why Makarov didn’t die, why he is still alive. They just made it so that he’s the only villain that had the balls to do what he did. Bitch please, he looks like a whiny rich child that thinks he can do anything he wants to do. Literally that's how I saw Mak in the reboot. His character legit sounded like a spoiled child, not the evil man we knew and hated from the og MW series. And I can’t believe that I’m saying this but I kind of miss that Mak.

Like, who would look at this face and say “oh he looks intimidating shiver me timbers” 

Yullian is too adorable for this role, and he did a good job to bring a villain to life, it just wasn’t enough to be "The" Makarov.

Soap & Ghost: now that brings us to this broski duo. Watching that heli scene made me realize two things, 1. Either Ghost and Soap were friendly before MWII and Ghost was never a lone wolf to begin with. Or 2.141 was tight as knit before it was even formed. Because if you actually go back to the mission itself these two sounded as close to each other as they were aftermath of MWII Alone mission. Like it doesn't make sense, bare with me a little bit as I go through the timeline of the campaign. 

Ghost was introduced in season 2 of MW2019, he was in the 141 just immediately after Price had formed it, and rumors say Soap was too, but we never saw him until the very last season of whatever game that was released before MWII (I think Vanguard), as a character bundle in the store itself. Mind you the bundle was leaked long before Cold War was out (it came out right after MW2019). And in MWII we get introduced to Ghost as this lone wolf/rogue esque soldier that only takes orders for solo missions. So when he was told that Soap would be assisting him in that first mission we played, he sounded annoyed to say the least. 

Now, up until the “Alone” mission and aftermath of that, it's as if they were only on acquaintance bases, then they became close after the hardship they went through in that mission. And it makes you sympathize and understand why they became close all of a sudden. They were betrayed by the people they trusted, they were in this together. But I digress.

Now in ‘Flashpoint”, the mission that was supposed to take place 4 years prior to MWIII where they catch Makarov, Soap was WITH Price, and Ghost was in overwatch with Shepherd in that heli. When they spoke with each other they sounded very close to each other, mind you this was before MWII took place. I kept thinking long and hard about it. Did they tell us what took place in between? Why do they sound like bffs in that mission when Ghost was not fond of Soap in the beginning of MWII? Did I miss something? 

It’s one of the two, either they are not telling us the whole story of 141 and how Soap and Ghost know each other, or this is a massive ass yet another fucking plot hole.

Ghost: I have to talk about him, because as a character that had been glorified and milked to the brim, his presence in MWIII was so fucking underwhelming. Even as playable, I nearly forgot it was him we played as in that mission. And his dialogues felt kind of… dry… normally he would actually have a smart reply or he’ll talk very bluntly but it just felt dry from him this time around. Like… who asks “what’s the rest of your plan?” to the big baddie plain and simple expecting them to reveal everything? Man they made him sound dumber than MWII. Literally reduced to this emoji 🧍🏻‍♂️. He had almost no impact on the story if you ask me, he was just… there… I expected more from him.

no words....

“No Russian”: well, that was a lame ass “No Russian” mission if you ask me. Now bear with me if I keep comparing this game with the og one because it can't be helped. This is a reboot, this should be BETTER than the og, it had to be but instead we got this. If you compare the og ‘No Russian’ mission, as brutal and raw it was, it left quite the impact on the series. It told us how savage Makarov can be, it showed us the brutality of the world, and that the world has some BAD people with no remorse. In MWIII, the ‘No Russian’ we got was extremely underwhelming, it didn’t make us feel bad for our actions, it did not hold any sort of impact except feeling sorry for the woman because she was forced to do what she did. It wasn’t us following Makarov’s plan and orders, it was plain and dumb if you ask me. Now, I understand in the political climates we live in today, it would be controversial to remake that mission with the player being one of the gunmen that… mows down a whole airport filled with innocent people and civis, but that is what made the og game/mission so good. It didn’t hold back on brutality and the reality of villains, the truth of characters who want to play gods, their motivations, how the player is tied down to the villain no matter what they want to do because it’s inevitable. And It had an impact on the player, the game and the story. We needed the necessary evil so the game could progress. But instead we got a woman trying to save an airplane filled with innocents, disarm the bomb that was strapped on her chest, and clear her name at the same damn time, which was like 3 minutes. Could’ve done better if you ask me. 

Shepherd: how the fuck did this cunt get captured in the first place? Wasn’t he supposed to be in Shadows and Grave’s protection? The man weaseled out of 141 and CIA’s grasps but somehow was weak enough to be captured by the Koni group? What is even the plot anymore? And they didn’t say how or why he got captured. Maybe it was that one Shadows soldier that Mak and his right hand man Nolan interrogated? How does Makarov get his intel? We don’t fucking know. He’s just a prophet at this point :) 

I can’t express how much I dislike this man, I don’t hate him I just really really really dislike him. There’s a difference. 

His character was, again, weak af in the reboot. God… why do they keep making me compare the reboot with the og games, I hate doing that for real. BUT, og Shepherd being as fucked up as he was, still had a strong personality. And if you just put these two side by side, no one would believe they’re the same character. I’m glad he got offed by Price at the end, no one likes loose ends after all. And he was a massive one, and a liability, and someone that no one can trust anymore after what he pulled on 141 and Laswell. Especially after he threw Graves in the fire when he was in trial when Laswell and 141's condition for helping him out was to confess everything. But of course, as the fucking weasel he is he didn’t do that.

Graves: oh man… Can this guy be any more pathetic? I love Graves, as he is, as a whole, pathetic or not, Warren’s acting made me love this character. But again 😭, reduced to nothing but a pathetic man who looks for glory. Stabbing his handler in the back to save his own ass, although he got stabbed in the back first. 

They legit took everything good and cool about any character we like (Price, Graves, Ghost, etc) and gave it to Farah, a character that should not have an impact as much as her. 

Price: that point brings us to John Price himself. I cannot describe how angry I feel towards sledgehammer’s writers now. I’m so pissed at them for writing Price like this.

real img of me reacting to the way they wrote price:

In MW2019, his actions were so RAW, he was brutal, blunt, calculated and honest about his work and what he does. And he took pride in what he did and how he did. He didn’t give a fuck about what the upper management (Laswell, Shepherd) thought about his work. He was THE Captain that everyone respected, even CIA agents and the U.S General were at his feet asking for help from him. 

Laswell: “What can you brief?”, Price: “We just did”- LIKE WHO ELSE CAN SAY THAT SO CASUALLY AND SOUND SO FUCKING BADASS LIKE THAT. NO ONE, thats fucking who. Now even Price doesn't sound like that AT ALL. 

They reduced my man into a puppet that ‘trembles’ in front of Farah whilst she calls him “Old Man”. That scene annoys me every time I think about it. Why would they do this to him? Where did that man that said “they were leverage” to Gaz when he questioned Price’s morality about the hostages, disappear. MW2019 Price would never be this mild, or he would never be gentle or compromising when it comes to civilian lives. That heli scene? It should’ve been HIM instead of Soap, grabbing Mak and pointing a gun at him. MW2019 Price wouldn’t even hesitate to cut out Mak’s tongue for talking too much. Killed Shepherd where he stood in Frozen Tundra. It's as if Price was not there anymore, it was Gaz telling him, reminding him what HE would do, it wasn't just once when Gaz advised him to what to do. Price is losing his mind for some reason.

In MWIII, he looked like he was too scared to be cancelled if he said or did something out of the line. That’s you’re fucking job Captain! To step out of the fucking line when no one would!!

Price is a morally grey character, a necessary evil, and that is what made him so good as a character. MWIII took all that away. I want to cry at how badly they wrote him. I wanted them to bring back “Angry Price” from MW2019, and add even more rage in him because of Makarov, but instead they pumped “Fear” into him. Price was scared shitless in MWIII for some reason, and it made it look like it was because of Makarov. He didn’t take risks anymore… he was not the same Price that we got to know from the beginning of the reboot. It's as if they keep having to change his character in every game he’s in, they can't keep it consistent for some reason. And it cost them dearly. 

All in all it felt like Makarov and Price were having a personality mid-off the whole campaign.

Gameplay: 87% of it was ass. And short. And annoying af. I actually prefer the fucking driving mission from MWII than this bullshit.

The necessary death: I get it. I understand what they were going for, someone had to be the sacrificial lamb, the motivation for 141 to keep going, for Price to get angry and drag everyone to hell as we went there himself. But did it have to be Soap? They just introduced him like a year ago… and they took him out just as fast. In that scene Makarove appeared out of fucking nowhere to fight with Price and Soap, like… where did he appear from? Why is he here if he just armed the bombs? Did he REALLY want to take a body count with him that badly?

We were playing as Price, and again, I had a bad feeling, I couldn’t tell what it was but it was there. Then Mak was pointing a gun at Price, I honestly thought he would die then and there, and I was so scared that it would actually happen but Soap, my man Soapy boy, saved us. When Mak shot him I thought he was incapacitated but stood up and saved up, for like 5 seconds it reminded of the og MW gameplay, just for a short time. 

And then, instead of shooting us (Price), he deliberately shot Soap, in the fucking head. And ran like a fucking pussy… I keep remembering his run, it was so stupid.  Mari mentioned this to me the other day, in the OG we see Soap struggling to live, to breath out the last words to Price so he can know the truth, he was bleeding everywhere, there were seconds to at least say goodbyes, here his soul left his body before it even hit the floor. And after everything went quiet I thought Price would fall to his knees and grieve. But he just stood there like 🧍🏻‍♂️. 

I guess I felt just what Price felt because, I didn’t feel anything at first, because it felt surreal, seeing him take a shot in the head like that. Instantly wiping the light from his eyes like that, it shocked me that I didn’t even react at first. Took me to the last scene where they were spreading Soap’s ashes. And when Price said “Who Dares Wins. sleep easy soldier”, I lost it. 

Again, I get it, a major character death motivation was necessary, but did it have to be Soap?

What I liked about the game:

Frozen Tundra: I liked this mission for one reason only. Okay maybe two… Reason one being that it's a classic cod campaign mission, reason two being that it was in Siberia, Russia. And Icy and snowy environment… thank fuck that they did this in the classic style mission. Also sneaking, and actual stealth that worked, because we were wearing white suites IN the snow. *chefs kiss*.

Wish we had a bit more options and choices, where we would be able to ride vehicles, like snowmobile, or idk maybe snowboard? Some creativity would’ve been nice. Because dammit it’s a snow map. A lot could have been done tbh.

The Cinematics: if call of duty is good at one thing, it’s making good ass cinematic cutscenes for their games. It was filled with eye candy; Price, Soap, Gaz, Nikolai, Graves, Ghost, every single person looked amazing in the cinematics. And yes I was swooning over Price every shot he was in (although his personality was meh). 

Yuri, Nikolai and Gaz: the only characters that I actually liked in MWIII. It seems like the less presence you have in the story the better your character can be. (not you Ghost and Graves). These characters were actually tolerable if anything compared to the rest of the cast. 

The After Credit Scene: oh that was satisfying. Killing Shepherd before he became danger to anyone else ever again, and Shepherd was like “I ain't begging for my life” and Price was like “I know” and just shoots him. Price was not taking risks anymore. 

Now this scene, here we saw the RAW Price. Now after losing one of the closest 141 members to him, Price was in for blood, he was on his way to hell, and he was going to take every. single. poor and pathetic bastard that inflicted harm to his task force. You can see the pain and the guilt in Price’s eyes in that scene, he blames himself for Soap’s death for sure. I loved that emotional part of him, I just wish he was like that the whole campaign. RAW and unfiltered. This was my favorite scene in the game, period.

Conclusion: they had good intentions… but making what was supposed to be DLCs into a fully fledged campaign was not the way to go. I wish more creativity was thrown into the story, the points were good, yes my theory was good, (shut up im biased) but it had some solid points, but the plot holes and the poorly executed story was the demise of this game. 

Like Mari and I had a better fucking story written out WITH this storyline WITHOUT anyone dying, and to prepare for MWIIII. They could’ve used the “Price going MIA” from the og games and implemented it in this game, instead of killing Soap like that. Maybe kill him off later on after recovering Price back like they did in the og MW. so many potentials, yet very poor and bad execution to the story. Man Sledgehammer writers were not fucking cooking at all. I hate them all. 

I would give the game: 6/10.

also I'm still expecting apologies from the people who theorized Soap was a traitor. yall better be so fucking sorry about it. even the people who entertained the idea of it even if you didn't come up with it. shame on you all.

[uenodivision]

Aranai's Thoughts on Ginza Division

Masa Judice

Aranai glares at the photo of the priest, before crumbling it up.

"This guy, no offense to Shisuta, is why I don't put too much stock into religion. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people who do. You believe in what you want to believe in. I'm not going to knock you for it. But people like this corrupt minister and his so-called church, they're the main reason why religion is so looked down on. Because it's more like bondage and brainwashing than actual free will!"

"I don't know what beef this guy has with Shisuta, and quite frankly, I don't give a rat's ass. But if he thinks I'm just going to stand by and let him hurt her, he's got another thing coming. He harms so much as a hair on her head, not even those followers are going to save him when I get my hands on him!"

Eiji Noguchi

"This guy is probably the only likable guy on this team. And that's more to do with the fact that he created PROFILE than anything else. I tell you, I'd like to know what was running through his mind when he came up with that thing. I'm not knocking him, though! Ask anyone here in Ueno, and they'll tell you PROFILE is everywhere! I've been trying to get Shisuta and Boss-Lady into it, but neither of them can be bothered. Shisuta doesn't know enough about technology, and Boss-Lady considers it a waste of time." Aranai rolls her eyes.

"Besides that, this guy also seems to be a complete technophile. He was on T.V. once proclaiming that technology is the way of the future and that the future will be completely reliant on technology. I don't know how much of that is true. I think I'd have to see it to believe it. And besides that, I'm not sure how I feel about having robots and androids walking around. I've watched some robot movies about the ones that take over the earth and... well, it just makes you think. I know, I watch too much TV..."

Oki Teagan

"Wasn't this guy part of that rap group? C H A R O N, or some shit? Yeah, I think that was it. Truthfully, this guy, along with everyone else I knew, was everyone's least-favorite member of the group. I mean, the guy just had a pompous-as-hell attitude and thought the whole fucking world revolved around him just cause he could rap. Newsflash pal: most people in this day and age know how to rap! Don't think that just because you were in a group, that makes you special!"

"Truthfully, no one really noticed when he disappeared, at least I didn't. But when he suddenly showed up as the third member of this group, well, it turned some heads. But if he's trying to grab hold of his lost fame, he's wasting his time. We've all moved on. And even those that hadn't, have long forgotten you. Deal with it!"

Last Judgment

"This team is on the top of my shit list! If it weren't for that priest making threats to Shisuta, I wouldn't have paid him or this group any attention. But he basically called out Shisuta by declaring war against her and Sakurai Clan. I don't know if he knows this, but if you mess with one of us in this clan, you mess with all of us! And he'll see that before this tournament is over. He claims to be a religious man, well I'm telling you this now, buddy. If you know a prayer, then so help you, you'd better say it now, because trust me, when we meet in the D.R.B. and I wipe that sorry-ass smirk off your face, you're going to need it!"

[bumblewarden]

HoF at Skyhold A?U

I like play around with my beloved best boy Novhen Tabris either arriving at the same time as Hawke or showing up at Adamant to derail that plot. It's a fun toy regardless of whether or not i make it canon. At the moment, i just have him return shortly after Doom Upon All the World for the actual canon, so none of this is technically applicable. Yet

Morrigan drags him behind her the first time she interrupts the war room meeting, and he keeps getting invited back after that because 1. he may have been granted charge of the remaining Orlesian Wardens depending on choices, 2. he's the local Corypheus expert, and 3. he's a generally brilliant guy and you should want his input on strategy. Also, Leliana vouched for him

As he has a habit of shortening names, he typically greets the advisors there with "Leli :) Josie :) Cullen." Leliana and Josephine find his staunch refusal to nick his name a little funny while Cullen keeps getting into deeper and deeper antics to try to endear himself to him to earn a name chop, but it's not going to work. Surana, who is practically family to Novhen, told him he was a creep. He holds grudges like an elephant, so Cullen's not getting out of that

There's also a B plot to the B plot of Griffon the mabari sneaking in some pats and treats from Cullen whenever Novhen isn't watching. Because look, pets are pets, and he's not going to miss out on this sucker's willingness to give them out just because his partner has beef with him

There are three Sit in Judgment cases which directly involve Warden authority: Gregory Dedrick, Erimond, and Ser Ruth. Before Gregory and Ruth's trials, Novhen would pull Cadash aside and request that she hand off the cases to him. Judging matters determined to fall under Warden jurisprudence is a good way to hurt your legitimacy after all. Publicly trusting a Warden-Commander to deal with these matters would be somewhat soothing in the eyes of those concerned with the ever-growing power of the Inquisition

If Novhen hasn't already announced handing off Erimond to the Inquisition's judgment, he would pull Cadash aside about that as well. He would explain in this case that the Wardens have the full right to judge him but that he would like to defer the case to her. When Cadash accepts, they just act out a quick scene at Erimond's trial of Novhen passing the right to judge him to the Inquisition

Also, he catches onto Blackwall's bullshit pretty much immediately. He had met the real deal after all, and even if he's not always the best at telling humans apart, common sense would eventually play in for him. Also, there's that thing about how Wardens can sense each other. That's rather telling. He wouldn't rat Blackwall out, but if the timelines add up, he would interrogate him to find out why he's impersonating a Grey Warden which cannot not be a serious crime. Afterwards, Novhen's likely to agree to oversee the completion of his Joining. Who doesn't love a good lie now and then? He can come to terms with the circumstances surrounding it. But they will be waiting until after Corypheus is dealt with for practical reasons

As Alistair is king here, there is thankfully no risk of losing him to the Fade. I don't think Novhen's poor heart could handle that. But as the Warden Contact, Alistair does mention that he's been doing some research on Corypheus, so it's not implausible that Novhen has been as well. Researching the origins of the Blight could be key to discovering the cure, and once Corypheus is released from his prison, it only becomes more pressing to understand him and his capabilities. A large part of what Novhen offers the Inquisition is this knowledge. Even if I keep mostly to game canon that he isn't present at all for Inquisition, his letter is still being changed to pass on some of that information

Novhen is absent for Trespasser. We can't leave holes for him to be accused as the Agent of Fen'Harel. Besides, he's got his own shit to be taking care of and wants to spend the time he has with his family and (less enthusiastically) handling the chaos that the Order has landed itself in. They're on the brink of civil war, and of course, he's shaping up to be a central figure in it

One of the two considered entry points for Novhen is Here Lies the Abyss.

The pros of having Novhen join during HLTA is that he can just derail the plot in his best Mary Sue way. (This is also a con.) Cadash shows up with her army, and the Wardens surrender immediately. Cullen deflates a little. This was supposed to be his special big boy moment :( The Inquisitor is taken to the fortress's war room where Tabris, backed by some of his Fereldan Wardens, is arguing with Clarel. Erimond is tied up and gagged with Warden Carver's sword at his throat. (Varric and Hawke are waving in the background)

As the local commanding officer, Clarel cordially greets Cadash, and Tabris explains that the situation is handled and that the non-Wardens no longer need worry about their business. He even offers Erimond to them as a free prisoner!

Clarel and Tabris get pressed on why nothing was done sooner to which Tabris answers with the exasperation of someone who has already answered this question far too many times that he's only just gotten back

No Fade trip, no remembering how she got the Anchor, nothing. This is great for pumping up Novhen as the most competent person in Thedas but not so great for the Inquisitor's story

Cadash brings him back to Skyhold, and Morrigan is already there. He panics and tries to avoid her. She catches him. They get back together, and Kieran and Novhen finally meet. Yay for Morriwarden reunion!

The alternative is to have Novhen reveal himself at the same time as Hawke.

He ditches the Inquisition spy disguise since sometime before IYHSB, and Leliana introduces him to Cadash (Also just more general info on this A?U on the hyperlinked post). The lying from Varric should be expected, but Leliana? That's gotta hurt Cassandra

As Leliana's #2, Charter would have easily been on it. She was the one sent to meet with him en route and give him the Inquisition scout disguise before his arrival at Haven

Pre-reveal, he spent most of his time near the Spymaster herself in her canopy. Most of his spywork there is deciphering messages, so it's not like he needs to wander far. Besides, Haven is a difficult place for him to navigate on a bad day as a cane user

Because i'm currently floating the idea of romancing Leliana with Radka Brosca, i also like if Radka stays with her around the time of Inquisition. Radka at least doesn't need to stay in any sort of disguise. So that's three Origins pals in the tent

As IYHSB approaches, the three of them together would probably have a more appropriate reaction to the disappearing spies, and the Inquisition would be caught less off guard by the attack on Haven

Sera would probably recognize Novhen's face, so after they both arrive at Haven, she's going to call him out after he leaves the tent alone for a bit to take a piss. After their conversation, she'll decide to allow him to carry on like this but one misstep and she's exposing him in front of Cadash (which tbh could be a lot worse). She feels no kinship to him, but he's not a total ass despite his being nobility and always harping on about elfiness. Also, Leliana is in on this plan, and it's best not to cross her without some damn good excuses at the ready

A perk to this path is also the post-WEWH realization of a joke that came about when i was talking to a friend during the creation of one of Novhen's outfit posts

And, like, other things, probably

IDK, man, i've got all the posts in the world to get to the point, and this one is getting long enough

[justabumatthepark]

Yeah

Uh, man, fresh up out the sand, February tan

It's the boy, but I'm still the man

Come and get your mans

I don't know, first you caught the hands

Then you took the stand

It's a joke, but you say you real, I don't understand

On a yacht, me and all the dogs actin' like some dogs

We evolved, used to think vacation meant Niagara Falls

Swear to God, shout to Buffalo, never duckin' low

I don't stop, man, I'm stuck on go, always hug the road

Fuck a opp, make his body roll, yeah, a lot of those

Started out doin' college shows, Calipari flow

Then I popped like you never seen

We with everything, I went off in the '16, give me '17

Want a lot, can't have everything

Can't have everything

Want a lot, can't have everything

But I want everything

Bad attitude, tellin' who to calm down?

Tryna cool it all down

Who's callin' my name? Who's involved now?

Tell me who I gotta down, I'll do a song now, man

Even though there's way less to prove to y'all now, man

Everything that went around is comin' back around

Y'all better hit the ground

Goddamn, beef forever unfinished

Yeah, it's all open ended, had me off for a minute

Had you all since beginnin'

Damn, I must be coachin', 'cause I'm not playin' with them

Can you not see the difference?

I mean, I keep the fuckin' lights on in the buildin'

Man, my record deal should be 500 million, goddamn

Can't have everything

Can't have everything

Want a lot, can't have everything

But I want everything

Finally got my mind in a free state

Niggas tried to serve me up a cheesesteak

I gave them back a clean plate

Same niggas preein', 'cause they hate to see the team straight

Same niggas beakin' always duckin' my release date

That's when the phone starts ringin', like, "Are we straight?"

Two-faced nigga back around with the three face

Damn, ol' triple double, Russ face

Watch with the bust face

Never met the plug, but I rap about the plug face

Never met my self, I don't remember who I was face

Y'all fuckin' hilarious

Y'all really think y'all niggas teamin' up is scarin' us

Y'all niggas is arrogant, y'all sleep at the Sheraton

All that shit embarrassin'

TELL YOUR BIG HOMIE I'M ALL FOR GOIN' THERE AGAIN

He ain't even die and I ball with his inheritance

All that's in my account at the Bank of America

All that Drake hysteria

6 side, East Side, all that for my area

You know, hun, I'm a bit concerned about this

Negative tone that I'm hearing in your voice these days, and I

I can appreciate where your uncertainly stems from

And you have reason to question your anxieties

And how disillusioned you feel

As well as feeling skeptical about who you believe you can trust

But that attitude will just hold you back in this life

And you're going to continue to feel alienated

Give some thought to this, because I'm confident in you

And I know that you can reach your desired destination

And accomplish your goals much more quickly

Without this confrontation that I'm hearing in your tone these days

When others go low, we go high

[littleapocalypsekitten]

So, a post came across my dash / to my attention about diet and of course it's the meat-eaters vs. the vegans as usual. And it's got me to thinking about my place in it and how I'm just... a non-starter in the argument. In terms of vegetarianism and strict veganism, those who are "evangelistic" about it run into a full-stop with me and there are reasons why that have little to do with me trying to justify "carnism" in the greater whole and whatever. It has everything to do with "press me and I'll just self-identify as evil and call it a day." From a personal standpoint: Here is how I grew up. My father was a butcher. He worked as a retail butcher. Furthermore, I grew up in the country (specifically in the desert) - but in a neighborhood where it was quite common for people to raise their own meat and some of my earliest memories involve this. We had a pig that my parents let me name "Charlotte." She became bacon and while I don't remember it entirely, my father said that I came out to "help" (at 4 years old) when most little girls would have run away from that. I *do* have memories of helping him with our chickens (not that "helping" at that age was anything more than watching or maybe doing a little plucking). Later on, when my dad decided that he was tired of doing double-duty at work and at home and we just bought our meat, we continued to raise chickens for eggs. Sometimes one would get out of the pen and be mauled by our dogs or get into the neighbor's yard and get mauled by the neighbors' dogs and would be lingering away, running and hiding and slowly dying from infection. I was older then and was happy to help Dad catch the chickens and to hold a dying chicken still while he took the mercy-hatchet to its neck. (These were not eaten, of course). I had uncles and aunts who hunted. I never took it up (and kind of regret it, as venison and wild turkey are delicious). I DID take up fishing. I've looked my food in the face as I've put it into an ice-bath or taken the tip of a knife to ike jime... I tend to say a little prayer, but, you know, fish-blood is on my hands... And I always feel a part of nature when I'm catching my own food. Get some nice beef sometimes from a friend whose family has raised their own cattle... And, yeah, there was a time in my youth when I considered becoming a vegetarian. My sister drew me back with how good roasted turkey is. In other words, when answering the question of "If you had to kill your own meat, would you eat like you do now or would you become a vegetarian?" and how most people would choose the latter option? I'm one of those rare, one in a million people who *might* choose the former option. Although, I expect I'd eat meat more rarely if I had to go through all the steps of dealing with it myself, because raising / butchering is very difficult and annyoying - even my pro butcher-dad just gave it up after a while because he got sick of taking his work home with him.

All in all, while I do want livestock as a whole to be treated better, when it comes to the ethics of eating it at all? I was raised in a way that makes me chill with death and life-cycles. If I get my way with a natural burial, the worms will eat me one day.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Would you consider doing a jealous Félix fic? Preferably around the time of the movie? I love all of your fic by the way! Your Pepa/Fèlix ones are actual perfection, thanks so much for blessing us with them🙏🫡

Sure! We LOVE some big, jealous men!

(Also thank you, thats sweet ❤️)

"I told you, he'd be fine!"

"No no. I promised him meat, meat he is going to get."

For SOME reason, his older brother, Julio, was the only man on this planet that enjoyed how Pepa cooked steaks. As such, she promised to not only make it for his birthday tomorrow, but make it out of a REALLY fine cut of meat. Julio knew little about emotions AND food, so Félix kept telling her he'd eat a fucking cow hoof if she put enough salt on it. But of course, you couldn't tell this woman that. She just HAD to get a good cut right from the butcher. She at LEAST let him go with her, so the bastard wouldn't try to cheat her by making her pay more for a shitty cut.

"Is this just because he actually likes how you cook meat?"

"I will hit you. I make GREAT steak!"

"You make beef jerky. And I love it about you-"

"You know what, you don't get to kiss me. For at least five minutes."

Ow, harsh punishment. He opened the door to the butcher shop, letting Pepa in, and letting someone else out. Pepa walked up to the meat counter, looking over at the selection for a brief second, before ringing the bell. The family never really did runs to the butcher shop, given that people ALWAYS volunteered to bring meat to their family, save Alma the trip. It was why Félix felt a bit out of place, despite having gone to a butcher shop plenty of times.

"One second, por favor!"

They waited for a man to come up from the back, wiping blood from his hands. Pepa didn't even wait till the guy got up to the counter.

"So I'm having company over and...Esteban?"

The man blinked at her, confused, before recognition flashed in his eyes.

"PEPA? Dios, it's YOU!"

The SMILE on her face. He hadn't seen that shit since this morning. Towards him.

"Oh-YOU! I KNEW I recognized those hands! I haven't seen you in years!"

"It HAS been years, hasn't it? I'd shake your hand, but I'm a bloody mess."

"Oye- I'm offended you'd offer. Last I checked, friends hugged each other."

Félix got a good look at the guy as he took off his apron and gloves, and come up behind the counter to hug her. He was a HUGE guy. Which wasn't a rare type that Pepa attracted, but this dude was also FAT. Little bits of hair stretched alongside his arms and poked out of his shirt. Pair that with his beard and he was just a mess of a man. Aka...Pepa's type. Realizing that made the tight hug feel so WEIRD to him, and it didn't get too much better when they seperated.

"It is SO good to see you again! Wow, you got to be so BEAUTIFUL!"

"What? I wasn't before?"

She huffed, but before a cloud could form, he put her hands (that looked so little in his) right onto his hairy chest.

"Pepa, you were always incredible. I'm just saying, I always wondered how you'd look as a grown woman, and here you are. Just. Wow, Pepi."

Pepi. Did this random ass dude just call HIS wife Pepi? She wasn't bothered by it like she should be, but rather, amused.

"Oh alright, ill let you get away with that one. Only because I like you."

"Your husband must be VERY lucky to-"

"Yes, I'm very lucky. I'm Félix. Her husband. Right here."

He stepped in a bit, holding his hand out to him. Esteban looked confused, before he chuckled, shaking his hand. A good grip on him too.

"So nice to meet you! Dios, the man who tied down Pepa Madrigal, in MY shop. How about that?"

"Yeah you'd think people would remember. You know, hurricane and best day of my life and all that- how exactly do I not know you?"

Pepa chuckled, waving her hand dismissively at him.

"Oh we had a few classes together. That and he was my first boyfriend. Oh I remember, back then, me and my girlfriends thought he was so cute, we called him 'esta-bien' behind his back."

Esteban rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Yeah I was uh. Nervous around girls, and apparently they liked that. Pepa was my first girlfriend and she...taught me a lot-"

"Like how he REALLY liked a good hand job."

They both had a bit of a laugh over this. Now while Félix respected Pepa's past (god knows he was no virgin mary either), it was a BIT different, being face to face with one of them.

"That's. Nice. How did you two break up anyway?"

"Oh my dad didn't like me being with girls. He wanted to get me an all boys class, but of course they said no. When he realized I was messing around with Pepa, he homeschooled me. That was the last time I saw Pepa, actually."

Pepa sighed at the memory, it clearly being special to her.

"He HATED me, but I respected what he did for the community. How IS your papi?"

Esteban fiddled with his hands, suddenly seeming so down.

"He uhm. He passed away a week ago. Heart attack."

"Oh I'm SO sorry! I had no idea!"

"I know. He said he wanted it kept to the priest, and his family. But since mom died, that kinda left just. Me."

Pepa, trying to fan away the rain clouds, frowned.

"I am SO sorry. Do you need a hug?"

"I...don't wanna make things weird, with your husband-"

"Félix is a grown man. Come here."

Now he felt for the guy. Really he did. Assuming his words were true, it must've been a rough thing to go through. But that didn't mean his face had to be RIGHT in his wife's tits during the embrace. Those were HIS (and Pepa's obviously), and it took everything in him not to bitch slap this guy away from his wife. The hug lasted a real, solid minute, and the man smiled.

"You're still sweet as ever, Pepi. Thank you. But uhm, you came here for some meat though, right?"

She pouted a bit as she lightly patted his cheek. This guy LIKED that. He could see it in his eyes.

"If you don't mind. I'm cooking for HIS brother, so it has to be special."

"For you Pepa, I'll give you the best meat I have. Here, let me show you what I have."

Esteban got behind the counter as he showed her different cuts. Félix didn't like how much he smiled at her. Didn't like how he kept finding reasons to touch her hands or talk about their past. They were happy together. She liked touching him then. Stories of how she'd constantly sneak her little hands where they shouldn't be. This guy was getting so excited, there was that twinkle in his eyes that said 'say the world, and I'll take you in a heart beat'.

"Okay so, prime rib. Anything else you recommend?"

"Well, I don't know what else you're doing with dinner, but HIGHLY recommend the sausages. I make them myself everyday! And the leftovers go to the hogs, but I'd MUCH prefer you use it to feed you and yours."

"You know what, go ahead, give me of your sausage while we're at it."

Okay this wasn't just him, right? That fucking sounded weird? That didn't sound like Pepa's cute ex wanted to think about plowing her? Couldn't be just him. Félix took a hold of it all, since that's what a husband does for HIS wife, and he was the best of them all. He stood there, waiting for this man to let go of his wife's hand.

"And you are welcome here ANY time, Pepa, only the best cuts for you."

"Disparates! We'll meet for pleasure SOME time! Maybe some cafè?"

He watched as he squeezed her hand. It was subtle, but it was there. That lovesick man, all over his wife, like a fly to shit. Don't strike him, do NOT strike him-

"I'd like that. Very much, Pepita."

He was gonna find him in a dark fucking alley. He gently nudged his wife with his elbow.

"Pepa, we can't be late. Come on."

She waved him goodbye, before Félix finally got her out of there, and on the way home. He hoped that was the end of it. It wasn't. The whole walk over, she wouldn't stop talking about this guy. About how she'd love to wear his jackets, about how he'd bring her little flowers, about how he liked being kissed right on his chin. He knew so much about this man in a few minutes, way more than what he wanted to.

"Oh and once, for english class, he wrote poetry about my hair. It was awful, but we were adorable back then. He always said they reminded him of strawberries in a field, he was SO sweet~"

"Uh huh."

Félix nodded as he started to put things away in their kitchen. Félix was sure that he as a person was great. But he was a guy who she found attractive, who wanted to fuck her. He knew he fucking did, he remembered that look in those eyes that she kept staring into-

"Félix? Are you listening to me?"

"Hmm? I'm sorry, I spaced out. What was it?"

"I was saying, easy on the cabinets! You're slamming them!"

Félix carefully shut the cabinet, muttering under his breath.

"You'd know about slamming, wouldn't you?"

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Wrong answer. Lightning cracked above her head, and she damn near slammed the meat on the counter.

"No. You speak up. You have something to say, be a man and say it."

She wanted him to say it? Fine. He turned to her, returning the same amount of huffiness as he was being given.

"I said you and your meat boy over there would KNOW about slamming, wouldn't you?"

She looked so confused. God he loved that dumb expression on her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about HIM. 'Esteban' this and 'Esteban' that- I'm SICK of it. That idiota WANTS you Pepa, and I want to kill him for it. I SAW his face. He wanted you. If I didn't say anything he'd probably try to pound you right on the dirty fucking floor!"

She put her hand on her chest, as if aghast.

"Félix Madrigal. Are you JEALOUS of Esteban?"

He couldn't help it. He practically slammed the cabinets shut to look at her.

"You know what, I AM, okay? I know when a man wants a woman, and that CABRON wants you!"

Pepa smirked at him, leaning against the counter.

"Are you worried big, sexy Esteban is going to sneak into the Casita when you aren't around?"

"YES."

She was fucking mocking him. She was adding fuel to the fire and he was getting angrier by the minute.

"Are you worried he's going to use all of his weight to hold me down? That him and his belly are gonna pin me down and fuck me in my own bed?"

"Pepa I'm fucking warning you, knock this shit off-"

She leaned back, letting one hand caress her thigh. She was fucking getting off to just the IDEA of her getting fucked by this guy? How DARE she?

"Are you worried he's going to make me scream? Are you worried that he's going to fuck me so good, I'll beg for him to cum in the pretty pussy you love so much?"

He pointed a finger at her, his chest rising and falling as anger made it VERY difficult to get a decent breath in.

"Don't. Don't you even FUCKING-"

"Félix...are you mad that I'll beg him to put a baby in me?"

The second she cupped her own pussy, that was it. He was angry. Enraged. Furious. Not at her, his Pepi could do no wrong. He was mad at Esteban. For tempting his wife, for threatening his fucking marriage, and being the exact kinda guy she'd sleep with. The idea of another man having the honor of stuffing this pussy full of cum and get her wife so beautifully pregnant? It was anger he couldn't relax.

"That's it- that's fucking it. You, upstairs, now."

"Maybe I'd listen to a man with more of a gut. To a man who knew how to use those big, sexy hands of-!"

He wouldn't let her finish. He had her over his shoulder in a second, hand on her ass as he carried her upstairs. He damn near kicked the door down, and threw her onto the bed hard enough to make her cry out in surprise. She looked so fucking sexy like this, the idea of some stupid meat man wanting this only made his blood boil.

"You're going to listen to your FUCKING husband. You're going to get thoughts of him out of your head, or I'll get them out FOR you."

Pepa could make a choice. She could say okay, like a good wife. Or, she could be the sexy, absolute temptress he knew she could be. He watched as she peeled off her dress (she had learned to do it so quickly, he considered it her 'other' gift), spread her legs out for him, and started to rub her pussy through her panties. She was already wet, he could see the darkness of the damp spot.

"Félix, it's not my fault. Look at him. He's so...big. He could hold me down, finger my pussy with his thick fingers, and I'd be just so helpless. It'd be so easy for him to take me~"

That was it. The straw that broke the camel's back. He took a step towards her, nearly smacked her hand away, shoved his fingers past her underwear, and right into her pussy. Normally he'd do just one or two, but she needed three. She needed three of his thick fingers to stretch her little cunt to the limit. His other hand gripped onto her thigh, forcing her to take it.

"HE doesn't get to hold you down. I'M the one who holds you the fuck-swear to god try to close these fucking legs again, I DARE you."

It was so much for her so soon, it made sense that she try to cover herself up a bit to try to stop the stimulation. They both knew the safe word, she just wanted to fucking test him. She WANTED him to lift her leg so much, it forced her on her back and her pussy in the air.

"Félix p-please-!"

"That's right, that's the name of your FUCKING husband. You think he can hold you down like this? Make your pussy sound THIS loud?"

He was practically barking at her. Her nails were gripping onto the bed, sweat soaked her red face. He could feel the wet heat in the room, it made his shirt cling to his skin, and he KNEW she liked it. She kept giving her those big, pretty, lustful eyes. Eyes for HIM, and no one else.

"I'm g-going to-"

"That's right, you're going to cum because of ME. Not HIM. I'M the only gran hombre you need. Look at me. Don't you fucking look away from your husband,"

Oh she was so fucking tight. She was soaking his fingers, she was cascading down her own fucking stomach- that fucker WISHED he could see her like this. He'd be fucking hard in a second, just like he was right now.

"Look at me when I make you cum. Right on my fingers. You wanted big fucking fingers, here the fuck they are."

She came. Her hips bucked upwards, as if somehow wanting more. Greedy little girl. She cried out for him, loud enough to sound like music to his ears. He hoped he could hear it, right from his stupid fucking butcher shop. He pulled them out of her, admiring the way her fluids made her pussy hair cling to the rest of her body. She was shaking as she gazed up at her, helpless as a bunny.

"Félix, I-"

"Over here. Facing the mirror. On your stomach. Come on, you heard papi, move it."

He gave her already sensitive pussy a smack, but despite her loud yelp, his wife was ever stubborn. She huffed at him, even turning her nose at him to piss him off further.

"Esteban wouldn't 'ask me' like a fucking child. I should go over to HIS house and-"

Fuck this man for making his wife have such a nasty fucking attitude. He dug his fingers into her hair, and yanked her to where he wanted her to go. She cried out in pain, but given how she spread her legs for him as soon as he put her in place, he could tell she liked it. Fucking Pepa was an art, and every single time, he made a masterpiece. And now, he was about to put that paint brush in her palette.

"Don't you say his fucking name. Don't you EVER say his fucking name in our fucking room, not in our fucking bed. I'll kill him. He's not going to touch you, even if he wants to. I know he does. He wants to ram you and make you feel this. But only I can."

She looked at him through the mirror, and she practically had hearts in her eyes. Such a beautiful, sexy woman.

"I'm sorry, who's name can't I say?"

"Don't say it. If you fucking say it-"

"Oh, right. Esteban ~"

This man was dead. How DARE his name be purred through such sexy lips? He pulled his cock out of his pants, and after pushing it inside her hot, wet, TIGHT pussy, laid on top of her. She swore under her breath as he did this, and he swore he saw her bite her bottom lip in absolute delight. That is, until he held onto her jaw, and shoved two of his fingers into her mouth.

"Look at me. Look at these fingers down your fucking throat. He can't give this to you. His cock can't fuck you like this. He- don't you FUCKING stop looking at me, lo juro por Dios."

He pulled his fingers out of her mouth, to smack her cheek with his wet palm, only to shove them back into her mouth. Then, he started to fuck her. He WAS a heavy man, and a heavy man could pound his wife hard enough to rock the damn bed, to make it look like he was just using her for his satisfaction. But this wasn't just his jealousy. This was her desire. Her desire to be pinned down by a man as fat as him, to gag around fingers as thick as sausages, to be stretched by a cock as big as his.

"Look at me. I don't want you to even THINK of other men. I want you to look at men and think 'they can't fuck my pussy like Félix can'. Because that's right. Look at me railing you, look at me making my cock hungry wife happy. He can't do that. He can't make these sounds."

The sounds of her loud, lewd gagging, the sounds of the bed creaking under them, the sound of his heavy frame smacking against her goddess like figure. She couldn't do ANYTHING against him. She just sat there, meeting his gaze, nails digging into the sheets and legs twitching after each and every thrust. He kissed the nape of her neck, let his teeth graze against her little ear.

"He can't stuff you full of cum. He can't make it pour out of you and make you feel stuffed. He can't make you TAKE IT."

She screamed against his fingers as he pushed himself in fully, and came. His cum coated her insides, and he swore he saw goosebumps on her skin as he poured more and more into her. He pulled out of her, having just enough to spill onto the small of her back. She was limp under him. Limp, but loving. He pulled his fingers from her mouth, only to have her hold his hand, and lick and kiss his skin and palm.

"Dios, he got papi so mad...~"

"Damn right he got me mad. He wants to fuck you like me."

She didn't mind the smear of fluids on her face, especially as she continued to make eye contact with him through the mirror.

"But he can't~...no one can fuck me and stuff me like Papi. I think you bruised my thighs."

"One, MY thighs. Two, I got the ass too, don't you worry."

He smacked her ass with his other palm, and she cried out in delight, cheeks flushed at the stinging feeling.

"Ay Papi, so upset~...you really think he can take me from you?"

"...kinda."

She sighed in almost exhaustion as she kept kissing.

"You're as dumb as you are sexy. He can't. Sure, he's sweet. And handsome. And he has so much hair. And he's got a big, big belly and hands-"

"Not helping."

"Oye, let me finish. He might have all of that, but he's not you. My husband, father to my kids. And mi papi, who takes such good care of me. He sees men who wants me, and reminds me of this."

His wife was so sweet. She was his sexy, sexy rock in his life. He sighed, feeling just a bit of jealousy leave his body.

"Gracias, Pepi. And I'm not against you guys being friends, obviously. I trust you."

"It WOULD be hot if he was involved, though."

He flicked her forehead in warning, despite her light swear.

"Hey, I'm still sticking by our no threeway rule. Any man touches you and I'm killing him."

"Does it count as a threeway if he just sits there and watches? All jealous? It'd be cute. He'd sit in a chair, pump his cock while you rub it in his face."

He wanted to say that was an awful idea, but. Well. He WOULD like other men to know they can't have Pepa.

"...we'll talk about it."

Pepa's smirk was huge. This girl really got whatever she wanted.

Whatever meat she wanted.

[y0itsbri]

gallavich week 2021 - day 7 - meet ugly

thank you to @ianandmickeygallavich for the inspo // @gallavichthings

Prompt: Ian and Mickey are neighbors in an apartment complex. They haven’t ever interacted, but one day they get stuck the elevator. One of them doesn’t like confined spaces but doesn’t share this so the other one assumes he is freaking out for no reason.

Words: 3.5k

--

"I'm going out tonight, dickbreath!" Mandy announced, popping her head out of the bathroom. She was wearing a short sequined dress, fitted tightly to her body and only halfway zipped up so it slipped part way down her shoulders.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't!" Mickey called from his recliner in the living room with an Old Style in hand. Work has been absolutely kicking his ass this week and he wanted nothing more than a chill night in.

"Oh, c'mon, now that's no fun. You don't do anything," she accused.

"That's not true!" Mickey grumbled, remote in hand and flicking past some news channels onto some good shit -- finally. Rerun of Jurassic Park.

"What're your plans for the evening then, hot shot?" Mandy teased as she applied yet another layer of mascara on her already blackened eyelashes, "Dinosaur movies all night?"

"Might go to the corner store for some smokes."

"Please get something to eat while you're at it. We have like nothing in here." She waltzed to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door and grimaced. He could admit that a grocery run was, in fact, long overdue.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Serious, Mick." Mandy gave him the look. The Look being the same Look that his mother used to give him when he was being a little shit.

Fine. "Got it. I'll eat something." She smiled at that.

"Thank youuu," Mandy dragged the word out as she leaned over to kiss his forehead.

"Gross."

"Ditto. Zip me up?"

--

Mandy had headed out awhile ago -- long enough ago that Mickey was now halfway through his second 'dinosaur movie.' He should really visit his dinosaur guy again soon, he's probably got some cool new shit. Mickey sighed and got up, idling over to the kitchen.

He downed a full glass of water and opened the fridge. Yeah, unless he wanted to eat a pickle with ketchup and beer, he needed to go out. He debated ordering in, but he needed to go to the corner store anyways. Two birds one stone kind of situation.

Mickey threw on his favorite pair of sweatpants and his Davie Bowie tee shirt with the sleeves cut off. It was a good shirt. Mickey thought Bowie was hot -- fuckin' alien-looking, but hot, nonetheless.

Mickey shoved his wallet and phone in his pockets and locked up his apartment. Maybe Ernie would have the good roast beef sandwiches today.

His thoughts about dinner plans subsided as he noticed the guy waiting for the elevator.

Mickey had seen the ginger around. He was hard to miss -- fuckin' tall, always going out for runs early in the morning in short shorts and coming back all sweaty, always had a million fucking people coming and going from his apartment. They lived on opposite ends of the hall, but Mickey had never actually spoken to him before.

Mandy had given her brother lots of shit for acting so goddamn unapproachable and that's why he has no friends. Mickey didn't want to be friends with everyone, but he wouldn't mind spending some time with the hot red-head down the hall... eventually.

But he was waiting for the elevator with him right now. He couldn't bring himself to make eye contact in fear that it would lead to small talk which would then lead Mickey to inevitably embarrass himself. He couldn't blow his shot. Mandy did the small talk, not him. He took out his phone and scrolled through Instagram even though none of the photos were loading.

He hardly looked up when the elevator arrived and he stepped into it, leaving plenty of space between the two of them. Maybe it was an unreasonable amount of space, but it still wasn't enough for Mickey. He could still smell the guy's cologne. And it was infuriatingly attractive.

"Ground floor?" The man's voice practically sent heat down Mickey's spine. This was going to be a long ride.

"Uh, yeah." Nice, Mick. Not embarrassing at all.

"Great." It hung in the air, a tinge of awkwardness to it.

Out of the corner of his eye Mickey could see the the man leaning against the elevator wall, crossing his ankles as he not-so-subtly stared Mickey's direction.

Mickey was running out of things to check on the his phone and he was about to give in and finally make eye contact when he felt a shift. Then an ungodly clanging of metal. And a stop.

Fuck.

He glanced up at the dial. Sure enough they were stopped between floors, and not at all near the ground.

"The fuck?"

"What?" The red-head locked confused eyes with Mickey's.

"We're stopped. Why the fuck are we stopped?"

"Hm," The guy poked around at the open doors button and nothing happened. "I don't know."

All hopes of positive small talk was out the window as Mickey went into full panic mode. He did not like small, confined spaces -- which happened to be exactly what his current predicament entailed.

"You open the doors!" Mickey practically shrieked.

"Why me!?" The attractive guy spit back.

"You work out and shit -- do I look like I could pry those fuckers apart?"

"Well..." The red-head took a moment to size up Mickey's smaller form. "Yes, you do actually- but these doors are heavy as fuck. We don't have like super strength."

"Fuck you."

"Uh, fuck me!?"

"Yeah, fuck you. Not even tryin' and now we're both going to fuckin' die in here. Any last words, Red?"

He rolled his eyes. "We're not going to die. Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?"

"Don't you think you're being a little too calm considering we're stuck?"

"Oh. You're freaking out."

"No shit I'm freaking out, Sherlock." Mickey ran his hands down his face. This was not fucking happening to him right now.

"Hey, take deep breaths."

"Can't. Gonna die." Mickey gasped.

"Well, if you can't breathe, you're definitely going to pass out."

Mickey shot him panicked eyes.

"Hey, hey it's okay. Just look at me."

Mickey could do that.

"Copy me. In-" He inhaled, chest expanding.

"Out-" Mickey felt his breath on his face. In any circumstance, a stranger breathing on him would warrant a punch in the gut, but now it was more grounding than anything else. They repeated that motion a few times.

"Good. See, you can breath."

"What are you? A fuckin' doctor?" Mickey huffed a laugh in disbelief.

"Been to enough," he chuckled.

"Huh?"

"Never mind. But, uh- look, see, I'll hit the emergency button and someone will come get us soon. It'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive. Got stuck in one of these with my sister when I was little, kinda scary at first but we were out in practically no time. She sang to me to pass the time, but I take it you don't want me to sing to you?"

That earned a full-bellied laugh from Mickey, "Not yet."

The man grinned goofily like a golden retriever.

They were silent for a moment.

"So, uh, what's your name?" The red-head asked, gazing curiously at Mickey.

Mickey just stared back at him.

"Your name?" He repeated gently.

"Mickey."

"Mickey," He said it so soft like a prayer. "I like it. I'm Ian."

He had no idea what he expected, but it wasn't Ian. Ian was fitting, though. Ian was good.

--

Ian had hit the emergency button a few times for good measure while Mickey had tried to call Mandy to no success. They settled onto the floor, leaning against opposite walls, feet nearly colliding in the center. Neither made a move to completely avoid that.

After Mickey had calmed down a bit, they fell into bouts of comfortable conversation and comfortable silence.

"I thought you just hated me." Ian mumbled after a bit.

"What I hate is being trapped here." Mickey stared at the walls threatening to enclose around them. He closed his eyes so he didn't start to panic again.

"Even before this."

"Oh?" That was news to Mickey. That was never his intent.

"Yeah, I always see you around, but you never seem to see me." Ian looked to the ground when he said it.

"I've seen ya plenty. You're the dork with the short ass shorts."

Ian smirked, "I guess I am."

"Hard to miss, man."

"You too. I've wanted to say hi for like months, but you always looked like you were ready to snap me in half or something. I kinda like my limbs in tact."

Mickey swiped his thumb against his nose and sniffed, embarrassed, "Sister says I scare everyone away. Used to be a good thing."

"Sister... wait, wait, wait, hold up. You're Mandy's brother, aren't you?"

"You know Mandy? Oh god, you're not banging her, are you?" That would throw a wrench in his plans.

"Oh god, no!" Ian threw his hands up in a mock surrender like that was the most repulsive thing he's ever heard.

"Something wrong with my sister?" Mickey grew defensive. She may be a lot to handle at times, but she was still his sister.

"No, no, she's great! 'm just not into... well, uh- I'm- let's just say that if you had a brother, maybe I'd be banging him." He grimaced.

Watching Ian stumble over his words after being so confident about everything else was a bit amusing.

"Oh -- cool." Mickey wasn't used to such obvious disclosures about sexuality with strangers.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Mickey avoided all eye contact.

"So?"

Ian paused until Mickey was able to look at him again.

"So, what?"

"Do you have any brothers?" A playful flicker in Ian's eyes made it obvious that he was just being a little shit now.

"You're an idiot."

"Maybe so, but that doesn't answer my question still."

"Yeah, I have brothers, but they'd uh- let's just say definitely not be into that."

"And you're... not not into that?"

Mickey rolled his eyes. His lack of denial was basically a confession and they both knew it.

Ian smirked and knocked the toes of their shoes together.

--

Help announced itself to be coming soon over the tiny intercom embedded in the elevator. Sometime shortly after that, Ian had made his way over to the wall next to Mickey's, rather than across.

"Where were you going tonight?" Ian asked, turning to fully face Mickey.

"Nowhere." Nowhere interesting at least.

"Really? So you just take an elevator down to nowhere?"

"Alright, smart ass, I needed to get dinner. Gonna be a late dinner now that's for sure, fuckin' starving."

"Shit."

"What about you? Got a hot date or something?" Mickey eyed him up and down. Ian's outfit wasn't fancy by any means, but he still looked damn good in it.

"Oh, I wish," he winked, "Just going on a walk to clear my head. But this is working just as well."

"Good for you, man. My head is fuller than ever."

"What're you thinking about?" Ian's heavy breath practically bounced off his face. His gaze flickered to Ian's pouting lips. This was ridiculous.

Kissing you. Kissing you. Kissing you. "Nothing."

"Riiiight." Ian's eyes mimicked the same trail that Mickey's had just followed.

"Yup."

Ian scooted closer to Mickey and he swore his heart was beating so loud that even Ian could hear it. If he could, he made no indication. Instead, he eyed Mickey's hand resting on the floor. Gently, careful not to spook him, he caressed Mickey's fingers, nearing his tattooed knuckles.

Mickey fought the urge to yank his hand away. No one ever touched him so delicately, so sweetly. He figured that Ian would have guessed that, seeing his crude tattoos, but he wasn't acting like this was strange. So Mickey let him.

"Fuckin' hate them." Mickey murmured, watching Ian's fingertips tracing over the back of his hand.

Ian frowned.

"The tattoos."

"They're you. I'm sure they have a story."

"Wish I could forget it."

"If it makes you feel any better, I have a pair of tits on my shoulder."

"Ex-fucking-cuse me?!" Mickey pictured literal tits growing out of the man's back.

"Here, look," Ian turned, pulling his shirt up, revealing an insanely toned and insanely freckled back. Surely he was not about to be flashed in an elevator. But sure enough, tattooed on his shoulder was a pair of double-D's.

"Shit! Dude, what the fuck is up with that?" Mickey laughed.

Yeah, this made him feel better. At least he didn't have fucking titties tattooed on his knuckles, though he was sure someone in his family must have something like that. They're fucking idiots like that. Like Ian, apparently. But Ian was good.

"It was supposed to be my mom." Ian winced, pulling his shirt back down to cover it again.

"Mom must've been a banger." Mickey joked, still hardly containing his laughter.

"Ugh," Ian groaned dramatically. "Never gonna live that one down."

He threw his hands back on the ground, near Mickey's but not touching this time.

Experimentally and slowly, so slowly, Mickey hooked his fingers with Ian's and rubbed his thumb against Ian's hand. It was calloused, but so soft. It was a movement so gentle he hardly recognized himself, completely contradictory to the message literally written across his hands.

He was practically holding hands with a man in an elevator. Oh, if dear dad could see him now.

Moving out of his hell house with Mandy had been a good step, but it had taken Mickey years to unlearn his self-hate, allow himself to be. He still wasn't perfect, and he still felt years behind. But with Ian, it felt normal. It felt right and warm.

Right then, he felt the elevator shift again. He tightened his grip on Ian's hand. Ian returned the hold. If he was going to die, at least he wasn't going to die alone.

Mickey realized that they weren't falling down, but rather moving upwards.

They released their hands and leapt up to their feet as the door dinged open, revealing a small staff of maintenance personnel, not looking at all concerned that two men had just been trapped inside for an unspecified amount of time.

"Fuckin' finally!" Mickey ran out. He resisted the urge to drop to the floor and kiss the ground. He was dramatic, but he wasn't that dramatic.

Ian thanked the maintenance people then hurried along beside Mickey. They weren't on their floor, but they sure as hell weren't about to take the elevator again after all that.

"Hey, Mickey, wanna come back to my place? I think I still have some leftover lasagna if you're still hungry."

Mickey checked the time. Yeah, Ernie's place was definitely closed by now. Plus he really did just want to go back to Ian's. He glanced up to see Ian in almost full puppy-dog eyes. The dork was needlessly persuasive, he'd give him that.

"Yeah, sure. I could eat." He grinned like an idiot.

Ian nodded his head towards the stairwell, holding the door open for Mickey, who obediently followed up the steps.

--

Ian's apartment wasn't too different than Mickey and Mandy's, mirrored and maybe smaller, but it looked oddly inviting and definitely way more lived in -- almost too much décor and family photos hung up around the space.

"Uh, make yourself comfortable," Ian called as he rummaged through the cabinets, grabbing a couple plates to reheat some food for Mickey and himself.

Mickey was no stranger to feigning confidence in unfamiliar locations, but this felt different, more genuine. He actually respected Ian, the man having been kind and patient with him in a less than ideal situation.

He sat himself on the barstool at Ian's countertop and watched him. The gorgeous man who he had been eyeing in secret for months, who had helped him through a small panic attack, who had held his hand and traced his tattoos like they were art. Like Mickey was art.

"So, Bowie, huh?" Ian leaned against the counter, waiting out the timer on the microwave.

"What?"

"Your shirt," he pointed, and Mickey looked down.

"Oh, yeah. He's cool as fuck. Dope music."

"Got great hair, too."

"You would think so."

"Self-love, baby."

"Good for you." But there was no edge in his voice.

Ian smiled. The microwave beeped and they settled in, eating together with nothing but the awkward clanging of silverware and chewing. Mickey was too fucking starving and too fucking tired to care about formalities to give a shit at this point.

"Bet you didn't think you'd spend your night eating lasagna with a David Bowie look-alike, huh?" Ian teased over a mouthful of pasta.

"You wish, man."

"Hey, it's at least a little true."

"Yeah, you're both fuckin' aliens."

"Maybe so, but at least we're hot."

They both smiled around their forks, glancing over at each other a little too frequently with nothing but fondness.

--

Ian collected their plates when they were done, taking them over to the sink to wash them later. Mickey got up and followed him into the center of the kitchen, still sipping on his beer before setting it on the counter to his right.

In a move that shocked Ian, and even himself, Mickey moved into Ian's space and pressed his chest against Ian's back. He wrapped his arms around Ian's waist, feeling up the plains and softness of his stomach, feeling his breath hitch and his heart beat faster. Mickey's warm breath bounced off of Ian's neck and back onto his own face.

Ian sighed and placed his hands over Mickey's again. He leaned his head back onto Mickey's shoulder for a moment before wiggling free from Mickey's grip enough to turn around and face him, carding one of his hands through Mickey's dark hair.

"Mickey." He said it so soft. With so much admiration. Mickey couldn't take it anymore. He leaned up and pulled Ian's head down so they were the same height.

"Fuck, c'mere," he murmured, lips practically touching Ian's with the words.

Ian pressed their lips together. For all his gentle touches throughout the night, his kiss was anything but. Like he needed him to breathe.

Ian pushed him backwards towards the living room, stumbling over each others' feet in the process. Mickey greedily pulled down on Ian's neck, desperate not to let him go. Ian smiled into it and dropped backwards onto the couch cushions, pulling Mickey on top of him, making out like dumb teenagers.

--

Eventually, they settled and Mickey rested his head on Ian's chest while Ian rubbed his back and head comfortingly. Truthfully, he was beginning to panic a bit. He hadn't liked anyone in awhile, and Ian was very hard to not like.

"Are you good?"

Fuckin' mind reader.

"I don't know." Smooth, Mick.

"You don't know what?" Ian probed gently.

Mickey sighed, "How to do this," he answered honestly. There was no point in lying to Ian.

Ian kissed Mickey's forehead, "We can do this any way you want, alright? No rush, no pressure."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely," Ian scratched Mickey's head for a moment, "I've been waiting for you for awhile, Mick, I'll wait for however long you want."

Mickey leaned into his touch and then kissed his shoulder, "I want you, this."

"Me too." They smiled into each other. Safe together.

--

Neither made a move to push things further for the night. Ian had flicked on the tv to the same channel Mickey had on earlier, the Jurassic Park marathon still playing. After whatever movie was on now, Mickey decided he should head home. He was utterly exhausted after the day, and as much as he liked Ian, he didn't want to pass out in the guy's apartment -- though he was sure Ian wouldn't mind at this point, kind bastard.

After Ian had pulled Mickey into one last embrace, Mickey wretched open Ian's door, only to come face to face with his sister, makeup smudged and heels in hand after her night out.

She gasped way louder than fucking necessary, "You slut!"

"Shut the fuck up," he grumbled pushing past her to head back to his own apartment.

"See ya later, Mick!" Ian called down the hall. Mickey didn't respond, but Ian took no offense. To be fair, he had just been caught red-handed by his very dramatic bitch of a sister.

Mandy grinned and looked between Mickey's retreating form and Ian's blushing face. "Oh my god, Ian! I knew it!"

"Hi, Mands." He ducked his head, scratching the back of his neck.

She gave a cheeky, knowing wave goodbye and took off barefoot after Mickey, "You fucker! I want all the details!"

"You ain't gettin' 'em, bitch!" He stormed inside, but left the door open for her behind him.

Mandy threw her shoes on the floor and met up with him in the kitchen, punching his arm lazily so he spilled his newly-opened beer down his hand. "The fuck?!"

"I'm so proud of you!" She made grabby hands at Mickey in attempts to smush his cheeks, but he weaseled out of there quick enough to avoid her gross hands. She may be fuckin' drunk, but she was still quick.

"Yeah, will well ya stop screaming it from the rooftops. Ian's gonna think I'm a fuckin' loser."

"Awww," She chased after him as he headed down the hall, "You are a loser, but that's besides the point! I've been waiting for this for weeks!"

"Night!" Mickey shut his bedroom door in Mandy's face. She'd get over it in a minute. Hell she was probably well on her way to passing out already. Maybe she'd get some details out of him tomorrow.

But tonight -- he reveled in the fact that he spent the night making out with his very kind, very dorky, very hot red-headed neighbor.

--

And when Mandy eventually moved out from their apartment and in with her girlfriend, Mickey had absolutely no problem finding a new red-headed roommate.