#everyone is so awkward around me since my parents got a divorce

[neondiamond]

.

[mikisspeak]

the continuation of that dreadful fic.

Wife!Reader who neatly packs all of her clothes and belongings in her 5 piece luggage set, tears streaming down her face.

Nanami who arrived home exhausted, wife!reader nowhere to be found but what was found was a sticky note and divorce papers already signed with wife!reader signatures on her assigned lines.

The sticky note reads…

Dear Nanami Kento,

I don’t want to be a hinderance to you pursuing your dream of becoming a father. Maybe you could find someone else who could fulfill that dream of yours :)

~Love, (Name).

Will he sign the papers?

…ANON, GO TO THE CORNER.

2nd. Part of this small fic.

Cw: Old! Nanami and Wife! Reader (in their early 40’s (yeah, they’re old asf, don’t blame me.), no curse! AU. Little bit of angst but mostly comfort and fluff(? At the end.

Nanami who asks everyone he knows where you might be, always receiving awkward but knowing expression from all your and his friends till Gojo finally gives him an address after Nanami explained to him how important this was, the white haired being unable to just ignore the suffering on his sort of-friend’s face.

Nanami who steps on the outside of your parents’ door, knocking with a nervous, serious expression before you finally open the door, committing the error of not checking who it was by the windows before…

Nanami who sees your person on the other side of the door frame and just practically throws himself over you, your expression in shock as you just stand there with his arms wrapped around you so tightly you wouldn’t be able to break out of it. Not that you wanted though..That soft but firm touch of his and the little tears that almost dare to spill from his eyes got you in that same position, in shock and with a ton of questions to ask before your husband interrupts every thought in your mind with a shaky voice.

“No, my love..I don’t want anything or anyone other than you. Since i met you I’ve realized the only thing i need to be happy is you and only you. Your soft smile and delicate touch on me when i come stressed from work..Your positive words after all that has happened, not caring if you were the one in true pain..I just love you, your spark, your body, your smile..I miss every little memory and moment we had, and i don’t care about something like a family. We’re a family. And i don’t want nothing more than this.”

“Even if it means never having children?”

Your voice came out shaky.

“Even if it means not having children.”

Nanami and Wife! Reader who are back on their lives, the spark on their relationship returning the moment reader steps back on their small, happy department. The divorce papers discarded like the same idea.

Nanami and Wife! Reader who now have adopted a nice teenager of pink hairs named Itadori with a positive and beautiful smile. “Just like her mother’s” Nanami always says. A beautiful and obedient boy that becomes the joy of your lives after so long.

Nanami and Wife! Reader years after..Finally getting retired and with their deserved need, buy a small house close to the breathtaking beaches of Malaysia, just like Nanami and her always wanted, that painful memory of what they didn’t had already forgotten as they recovered and created new ones, happier ones. Only needing of each other and their little family…

A/n: It took everything on me not to make it even sadder, i deserve a thank you for that 😔

Hope you enjoyed¡! ღ

[the-ace-with-spades]

Silly idea but what if Jake's dad actually loves Bradley

So, they're together around flight school time and Jake actually has a good relationship with his dad (it's his mom that went crazy when he came out -- his parents are currently divorced because of it, too) so he introduces Bradley to his dad when they have a free weekend in Kingsville and drive up north to the Seresin ranch.

And Jake's dad instantly adores Bradley. Like, calls him son from the first day and tells Jake he has to marry him someday (when they're out of the Navy, obviously). They actually have a lot in common, same taste in old cars, same taste in oldie music, Donny Seresin absolutely adores that Bradley can play piano and sing, and they have the same old man taste in drinks and Bradley is quite good as a mechanic (repairs a tractor the first day he's there) and they just can talk for hours without feeling awkward since day one. And Jake's dad can clearly see that Jake's boy has been through a lot and he's as soft as Jake so he takes it personally.

Since then, Jake's dad and Bradley actually talk more often than he talks with Jake. Jake finds it hysterical but also a bit sweet that his old man and his boyfriend (who is mentally a bit of an old man himself) get along so well when Jake thought there would be shovel talks and treating to bury Bradley's body somewhere on their farm if he hurts Jake.

One day, Donny Seresin just tells Bradley to call him dad. Obviously, Bradley feels weird about it since he already had two dads and a pops and they're all just bittersweet memories so he's like, I'm sorry I can't call you that, my dads are just still---

Donny Seresin tells him to call me pa, then and Bradley does. Donny gets two father's day cards from Kingsville.

When he finds out Bradley's got no one to pin his wings when they finish flight school, he volunteers. Jake gets his pinned by his sisters and Bradley gets his pinned by Jake's dad.

Thing is, Mav is in the audience that day. He knew he'd be crossing a line if he showed up on the scene to do the winging but there's this strange man who's pinning the wings on his son and he can't take it, he's miserable and fuming and just so angry (with himself, mostly).

Jake and Bradley break up and Bradley stops calling Donny. Donny waits a couple of months before calling Bradley, on father's day of all days, saying I think you forgot to wish someone happy father's day.

And they start talking again. And Jake hates it. At first.

Their break up wasn't as explosive as people think --- one day Bradley was there, arguing about which cereals they should buy, the next he was packing his stuff and flying to Japan without telling Jake a thing, not picking up his phone. Jake reacts to even a mention of Bradley with disdain.

His dad says something about Bradley sending him Japanese whisky and Jake explodes.

Then a few weeks later, his dad mentions Bradley had an emergency sea landing and Jake is still pissed but also worried. Because he's still in love with Bradley.

So he allows it. Pretends he's mad whenever his dad mentions Bradley while secretly being grateful he can keep tabs on Bradley somehow.

Fast forward after the mission, Bradley and Mav (and Ice) reconcile and Jake and Bradley get back together.

Donny Seresin comes to San Diego for holidays and to visit his sons. Bradley takes it as an opportunity to introduce him to Mav and Ice and just to make their family meet officially Jake tells his dad all about how much of big names Mav and his husband are in the Navy and Jake's dad is like, well, to me they're just a pair of crap parents.

When they all meet, one could cut tension with a knife because Mav recognizes him instantly as the guy who pinned Bradley's wings.

And then Bradley calls Donny pa in front of everyone.

Mav is green with jealousy the whole evening (which later shapes into wallowing in self-pity) that this stranger got to be a dad to Bradley in some capacity throughout the years he didn't. Especially that Bradley is still feeling a bit wary and hasn't called them dad or pops again yet.

Meanwhile Jake is even more hysterical about the thing because he's just realized it means Bradley has four dads in total.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for cutting off a friend over an inappropriately timed confession?

tl;dr at end. it’s been a while since this went down, but i’m still feeling uncertain about it all. 

i (18m) hosted a birthday party a few months ago. the guest list was small since the activity i chose was pricey. among the guests was a guy we’ll call carson(17m, same grade). i honestly was already drifting away from him before this incident, and sort of regretted inviting him, but i’d already told him about it and had just known him for so long, it felt mean not to. the day’s plan was to grab lunch at my favorite restaurant, drive everyone to the activity, do that, drive everyone back to my house for cake, and then send everyone home. at lunch, people handed me gifts. carson hands me the actual gift and a card with a printed sheet of paper tucked inside. the card’s paragraph text was normal enough, but then i open the paper inside, and it’s a goddamn love poem. like, ��i’m scared of how you’ll react if i give you a valentine” levels here. i am not into poetry even a little. i’m obviously uncomfortable because i barely like him as a friend, but i thank him and move on. 

for some background, carson and i dated in name only for about five or six days during the pandemic. we didn’t actually do anything, i think i was just bored and lonely. i am attracted to men, just not him. i am also autistic, and he’s suspected to be. he also has a pretty shit home life(he’s recently pivoted to “actually my home life is great!” but none of us really buy that. i won’t go into it though, it’s not really relevant nor my business), and that might affect how he views relationships, since his parents had a pretty nasty divorce when he was young.

after cake, everyone left except carson. he then says something like “do you remember when we dated sophmore year?” he gives this stuttering, rambling buildup that ends in him asking if i’d like to go out with him. i tell him no, and he apologizes for if he made me uncomfortable. i lie and tell him he didn’t. i was actually extremely uncomfortable because as the host i couldn’t leave! i really felt cornered. after more awkwardness i ask when his ride will get here, and he says his mom is already here, he just “needed to get it off his chest.” 

a little more context, i had some pretty shit birthday parties in the past, and only started having them again last year after being tired of them going badly.  they’re still an incredibly sensitive time for me. i’ve told him this, although he claimed to not remember(i’m not sure whether him lying or forgetting would piss me off more.)

two months or so go by, and he still hasn’t apologized. i realize that i’m not going to get over this like i hoped i would, so i confront him, asking him why he would do that. he basically tells me that he didn’t think about it, and is sorry i got upset. 

here’s where i might be the asshole. i was giving him the cold shoulder before, but after his apology, i completely cut him off. i refuse to even acknowledge his presence when he’s around with my other friends. i know he apologized, but i’m just still so mad at him, and it felt like such a non-apology that he only gave because i asked him to. my friends who have other personal grievances against him think i’m in the right to cut him off, but my family says i’m being too hard on him, and that he was just trying to shoot his shot and mistimed it. i’m definitely not going to make up with him because even thinking about him pisses me off. but i feel like such a dick for doing this, and i’m still thinking about it months later. am i the asshole here?

tl;dr, friend asks me out at my birthday party when birthdays are a sensitive subject for me, i cut him off after thinking his apology isn’t good enough

What are these acronyms?

[noellie-writes217]

Word Diary

Chapter one: Whelve

Summary: Tom comes back from a hectic year to find his ex from his teens in his parents’ house. She’s got big plans for herself and all of Tom’s brothers know, he’s a risk for her.

Series warnings: Smut, exes to lovers, pining, additional warnings per chapter

Tom came home for the holidays on December twentieth of 2020 but was not expecting to see what he saw in his childhood home on that day. His mother sits there indulging in conversation with a friend she’s had since Tom was born.

“Tom! Honey! Look who’s here!” She points to her friend who’s been playing with a puppy.

“Hello Holly. It’s good to see you.” But it’s still really awkward given the history… but then again, Holly doesn’t know the history.

“Tom honey, come see Rosalind’s new puppy! His name is Cerberus.” Tom’s brows raise a little more when he hears the name.

Instead of kneeling and playing with the puppy immediately, he stands there for a second wondering if this is real or not.

He hears laughing from the kitchen, and then his younger brother Sam walks out with Holly’s daughter, Rosalind and a few dishes for dinner.

Once he sees Rosalind, everything stops for him. She’s wearing that smile she used to wear around him when they were alone and no one knew. The one he hasn’t seen in years. The one he’s dreamt of. The one Harrison has made fun of him for fantasizing over. The one he’s had no luck finding in any other girl. The one he fell in love with right before he left for carpentry school. It still hasn’t changed.

She looks up for a moment at him and her smile fades so she quickly leaves with Sam as he tells another story.

Harry of course notices and texts the brothers group chat calling an emergency meeting.

BROTHERS GROUPCHAT

Harry:Meeting in Paddy’s room. ASAP

Sam:why?

Paddy:Yeah and why my room?

Harry:All will be explained. Just get there

Tom:I just got home. Can it wait?

NON FAMOUS HOLLANDS

Harry: Tom’s still in love with Roz. He’s either gonna be a dick or a loser if we don’t talk to him about it. That’s why we need a meeting.

Sam: Seriously? Still? He was such a dick last time they saw each other.

Paddy: Agreed

Sam: If he starts acting like that again she might not just leave for Paris for school, she could leave forever

Harry: Thus why something. Needs. To. Be. Done.

Paddy: Meeting in my room

All of the brothers get to Paddy’s room in a short few minutes. And Tom is told to sit on his bed while the twins get ready to interrogate him and paddy guards the door.

“I saw the way you looked at her Tom,” Harry starts.

Tom tries (and fails) to bullshit through this conversation, “what are you talking about?”

“We’re talking about you being awkward about Roz being here,” Sam chimes.

“Roz is like a sister to us, and we’ve seen you fuck it up with her to the point where she left the fucking country,” Harry says, “so whatever your thinking about her, stop. She’s too good for you and everyone knows it but you apparently.”

Tom gets angry at his younger brothers for trying to tell him what to do. He has since they were all little… well, little-er. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Rosalind left so she go to ballet school in Paris. That had nothing to do with me.”

Now it’s Paddy’s turn to speak up, “Oh yeah? When was the last time you talked to her?”

5 years almost. Right before he went to carpentry school.

“Exactly.” “We lost a sister because you were a fucking asshole.” Sam crosses his arms. “And she probably wouldn’t have come back if it wasn’t for that other dick.” His twin copies his gesture.

‘Does Roz have an ex?’ He wonders. She does not. The dick that Tom’s brothers are referring to is Rosalind’s father, who just got his mistress pregnant. Rosalind moved back to England to support her mother during the divorce.

“Look, mates,” Tom starts, “do you even know what happened between me and Roz?” It’s silent for a moment. “Exactly. So don’t assume that just because I used to like her, I’ll automatically still be in love with her. I’m not. Nor have I ever been!”

What Tom didn’t know was that Rosalind heard everything that just happened.

Instead of busting in on them, she just goes back downstairs and decides to text Sam that his dish was ready.

“Shit, my foods done,” he states, “let’s call this a wrap for now and follow up later.”

The lot of them sit at the table eating the food Sam made.

Most if the conversation is made up by Tom’s parents and Rosalind’s mother. She compliments Sam on the food.

“Thank you so much, Holly. Roz made desert too, and it looks absolutely delicious. What’d you say it was?” Sam asks the girl.

“Lavender vanilla bean beignets.” She informs.

“My mouth is already watering with anticipation! That sounds lovely.” Tom’s father comments.

Roz has always been bashful when someone compliments her. Tom has always found it adorable… which is why he would compliment her any chance he had when they were teenagers.

“My friend’s mother taught me the recipe. She said it was a family recipe and I’m not allowed to tell anyone… so please don’t ask.” She jokes.

“Damn. That sucks. I was gonna ask for it.” Sam says.

Rosalind smiles lightly.

“So, Rosalind,” Nikki calls for the girl’s attention, “do you have any plans for tomorrow?”

“Moving into my new flat, meeting up with some old friends, and then I have a date.”

Holly’s mother peeps up, “be careful, darling. Unless you’re lucky enough to marry a Holland, men tend to disappoint.”

Holly doesn’t know about Roz and Tom. That they used to see each other after the sun went down, sneaking out of each other’s windows to mess around.

Holly was a nurse who usually worked nights and Rosalind’s father was just an idiot who didn’t notice Tom taking the condoms.

“Trust me Mum. I know.” Rosalind’s eyes shift up to Tom for less than a second but it’s enough for the other boys to notice. Harry kicks his shin.

“Actually, I should probably get going now. There’s a lot of stuff I need to unpack. And Cerberus is getting sleepy. But I do hope you all enjoy desert.” She politely gets up from the table.

Nikki clicks her tongue, “Oh, darling! I was so hoping you could stay so we could discuss our plans for Christmas! And Tom just got back from filming. It’d be so lovely if you’d stay.”

“Love, if it’s just unpacking I’m sure one of the boys could help you tomorrow.” Dom says.

It’s true. All four boys would be more than willing. But it would be far too soon for Roz to be ok with it.

“No no. It’s ok. I also have to figure out some choreo for some clients.”

“Well let me help you with your stuff.” Sam offers.

“So what exactly is your new job?” He asks once they’re alone.

Rosalind clips Cerberus’s collar and leash, “I’m a new ballerina for the royal ballet company. And when there’s time, I choreograph for musicians.”

He nods and grabs an umbrella. “You might want this.”

She smiles at the nostalgia, “I can’t believe you’ve had this in your umbrella bin all this time! Thank you Sammy.”

“You know you’re still the only person who gets to call me that.” He laughs

“What? Not even your girlfriend?”

“That’s still pretty new.” He explains, “you would have met her tonight, but she had her own family thing.”

“Well I’d love to meet her.” Rosalind pulls the strap of her bag onto her shoulder before opening the door. “And thanks for setting me up on that date.” She calls out before patting her thigh for Cerberus to follow her. She waved one last time to the boy before leaving on her way.

Little did either of them know that Tom heard the entire conversation between them.

“What the hell, Sam!” He claps his brother on the back once Rosalind is out of eyesight and earshot.

Sam shrugs, “You know, for a guy who said he was never in love with her, you seem to care an awful lot. Maybe I should set you up with someone too.” With that, Sam walks back inside.

[oneokkombat]

I truly made this acc so I can ramble about my favs so I’ll start with random headcanons for my girlfriend Johnny cage <3

-> I believe he gets REALLY pissed when he gets called a “nepobaby” or something along those lines by the media because 1) his family wasn’t famous before him and 2) he is really prideful of the work he has put to get to where he is.

-> daddy issues..mommy issues…everything issues (it was obvious 😭) I do believe while he has complica feelings about it he does get along with his mom, keeps it very superficial tho. He definitely hates his brother and dad.

-> his parents divorced while he was a teen and it was MESSY part of the reason why his divorce with Cris crushed him so much was because he felt just like his dad

-> his family (including extended family) always had a very obvious preference for his brother, part of it is because growing up his brother was the more “charismatic” one and also he was doing excellent at school while Johnny struggling in most of his classes and he was an awkward kid.

-> also his family took his brother more seriously because he pursue “serious” careers while Johnny always wanted to be an actor.

-> part of me believes johnny was a child actor and that was probably the worst period of his life, he got taken advantage of not only by older directors and producers but also his own family.

-> all of the money he did as a child actor was never used on him, not even for important things, most of it went to payments for all the debts they had (courtesy of his dad) and the left over was focused on payment for his brother’s college since he was studying for becoming a lawyer (courtesy of his mother since “Jimmy is becoming a lawyer to help the law he’s priority”)

-> to elaborate more on his and his mom’s relationship: I do believe she later own realized her own mistakes although since she’s stubborn as hell she never properly apologized and also realized wayy to late so the damage is already very done. He still loves her dearly because she did showed more care to him than his dad, it’s just too complicated so he rather keep her at arms length.

-> since going through the burden of child acting, he have always advocated for them, when he has young co-stars he always treats them with respect and it’s even super friendly with them joking around and even offering them junk food or desserts. A popular backstage story about him is the time he work with a crew of teen actors and after a hard day of filming he took them to an arcade and paid for absolutely everything, till this day even after the kids grew up they still recall that story with fondness.

-> another popular story of his was when he stood up for a kid who was being treated unfairly by the studio of one of his films, stoping the whole production until the issue got solved and the kid was ok.

-> I just think Johnny likes kids man, he’s like the weird but cool uncle, he is lowkey afraid of being a father for the fear he will end up like his

-> in a funnier note, in his universe he was the one who said the legendary Tom hardy quote: “I’m an actor, of course i had gay sex”

-> bisexual Johnny 100% he’s not even officially out but everyone and their mother knows

-> he was in the “my wife and I saw you from across the bar” situation with a popular Hollywood couple but he won’t say who..

-> he met Cris when he was still a unknown actor, she was the producer’s assistant in the short film he was in, she was the first person who not only saw through his bs but also actually believed he was going to be a big actor one day, definitely one of his closest friends before dating. Unfortunately we all know how that ended..

-> I do believe some day long after their divorce Johnny does reach out and apologizes, they definitely never go back to date since she moved on and is genuinely happier with her new partner, but they slowly rebuild their friendship, at the end they were friends first and foremost.

-> Cris and him definitely gossip a lot after rebuilding their friendship, she constantly pokes fun at him once she figures who is his crush 👀.

-> he definitely has a big crush on kenshi, it’s almost ridiculous, sadly he is severely emotionally repressed (just like his man) and thinks kenshi deserves someone better than him he also still believes kenshi blindness it’s his fault for being too weak oops

That’s all for now!!

[merryfortune]

drop me in the water, washing me down

August 13th: Hurt/Comfort | Bathing Together | Mafia/Detective AU

Title: drop me in the water, washing me down

Ship: Raindropshipping | Aqua/Miyu

Series: Yu-Gi-Oh! Vrains

Rating: T

Word Count: 1,497

Tags: Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Scars, Non-Sexual Nudity, Kissing

   Steam wafted upwards in delicate curls and the water below was warm. Miyu smiled a small smile as she sank her foot into the bathtub, hesitant at first but immediately charmed by the perfect temperature of her bath and so went the rest of her. Water welled up around her, a wave splashed over the edge of the bathtub as she got comfortable in the depths of it.

   “Aah, perfect.” Miyu said, smacking her lips together.

   She turned her head slightly, she felt weighed down by the towel twisted into her hair to protect it from getting wet and felt it wobble. She looked over towards Aqua who sat perfectly prim in her Duel Disc which was nestled in her discarded clothing.

   Despite being the Water Ignis, Aqua was still an electronic creature and so was hesitant around the real thing.

   “Are you sure you don’t want to join me?” Miyu asked. “The water’s great.” She kicked her foot and purposefully splashed the floor, not caring if the bathmat got too soggy.

   “I’m sure.” Aqua murmured.

   “Oh, okay then…” Miyu replied, visibly dejected.

   Things were… awkward between them. Or maybe just new. After all, here they were, kind of chatting in the bathroom and Aqua had no problem with Miyu being naked around her but other than that, it was awkward. And new.

   Aqua had only recently resurrected after all. Her reappearance had been a hard won by the efforts spearheaded by Playmaker but Aoi assisted also. She felt it was her sacred duty to allow Miyu and Aqua to meet again so she put in the most effort out of everyone in Playmaker’s faction to facilitate Aqua’s return.

   Aqua, getting no say in the matter, felt conflicted. She had died. Now she lived again and that was bittersweet, she was still getting used to it but was, from the bottom of her soul, overjoyed to have been brought face to face with Miyu liked she had dreamed for as long as the Incident. She loved and cherished Aoi, of course, and thanked her tremendously but at her Origin’s side was her rightful place.

   As fraught as it was due to the Sugisaki family politics in the background. Her parents had divorced, her Mother refused to believe a thing like artificial intelligence could exist and let alone be the reason Miyu had been kidnapped as a child. Thus, she was smuggled around like contraband between the two households and even within the sphere of the Zaizen affairs.

   Even so, Aqua wouldn’t have it any other way if it meant she could be close to Miyu but since life was so precious and so fragile, she was worried - waiting - for that bubble to pop. Miyu was too carefree, perhaps. This brought them to friction which pervaded what might have otherwise been a smooth transition if… if many things hadn’t happened.

   Like the arc of Ignis warfare, for example, but what was done was done and they should both be thankful for a fresh start as it was nothing less than a miracle for them to have one.

   Still, there was a distance between them. Ice which had yet to break. They both sensed it even if they wanted to pretend it wasn’t there.

   Miyu played with the meniscus of the bathwater, humming to herself. She glanced at Aqua again, vying for attention.

   “I… I kind of want my back scrubbed.” Miyu said. “Can you help with that?”

   “It would be my pleasure, Miyu.” Aqua replied.

   Miyu smiled again. Thank goodness. Things weren’t fully ice cold between them but even so, Miyu could feel how Aqua looked her over. She knew she didn’t have a typical body. Most girls - no, most people - didn’t have quite so many scars.

   Miyu didn’t mind. She got stared at. A lot. But it came with the territory. She was a competitive swimmer and people didn’t really expect for someone like that to have a body laced with criss-crossing electrical scarring. She got questions from time to time but she point blankly refused to answer them. How could she? Even so, she just let the weird stares and invasive questions roll off her like, well, water off a duck’s back.

   But Aqua’s gaze on her.

   It was different.

   Sadder.

   More understanding.

   Aqua drew in closer to Miyu, transforming from her tiny self akin to a fairy and into more of a monster. She situated herself on the edge of the tub and Miyu made more room for her, offered her back to her and tried to be helpful by getting a loofah but Aqua was quicker. She had six arms though, in this form, so she clearly had an unfair advantage in that department.

   “Tell me if I’m being too rough.” Aqua said.

   “Don’t worry. I hate it when people are too gentle anyway.” Miyu assured her.

   “I see.” Aqua replied.

   She proceeded to oblige Miyu’s request. She dabbed the loofah in the water first and then soaked it in soap. The smell of it - cherry blossoms and vanilla - was heady in the tiny bathroom, it rose above the steam and clouded their senses.

   Aqua then put all her strength into scrubbing Miyu’s back, every inch of her would be spick and span by the time that Aqua was done with her but that gave Aqua plenty of time to think. To ruminate. To acquaint herself with just how scarred Miyu truly was.

   She tried to focus on other things, like the task at hand. Or even how Miyu’s skin was soft where it was unmarred or how the vertebra of her spine jutted out. That she even had a couple moles or freckles here and there but it was her scars that Aqua could not help but fixate on.

   All of the Incident victims had these scars but still. Aqua was harrowed deeply by seeing them, especially upon her Miyu.

   The electrical scarring criss-crossed all over her, the shapes of the scars were thin and flowing, long since healed but what remained was an expansive pattern. Aqua rubbed hard over them with the loofah, it scrunched and fluttered held tightly in the spool of her paddle-cupped tentacles.

   “Aah, yeah, that’s the good stuff.” Miyu complimented Aqua’s technique.

   “I’m glad.” Aqua quietly replied.

   Her tone of voice chilled the bathroom. It was so small but the heaters in the ceiling were whirling, the water was the perfect temperature and yet. Aqua spoiled it. Miyu shivered as Aqua continued to bore into her with the loofah.

   Aqua’s tentacles had quite a bit of force behind them. Aqua was always so earnest in demeanour and it showed, especially when she winced as she went over the ridges of Miyu’s scars and slowed.

   “Y-You can stop now, if you like.” Miyu said, awkwardly.

   “If that’s alright with you.” Aqua bowed her head.

   She wrung out the loofah behind Miyu. Miyu tilted her head forward and felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise as she was misted with water turned cold and the soapy seconds of her body wash. Aqua, of course, did her best not to douse Miyu like this but accidents happened.

   As did thoughtless gestures.

   Aqua placed the loofah on the ceramic inlay on the far side of the bathtub. Her other tentacles, not in intended use, drifted and curled, even ghosted along Miyu’s shoulders. They touched her. Softly, gently, demurely, and left an impression of melancholy upon her skin, like a dew, or so Miyu felt.

   It was all she could feel emanate off Aqua through the whole of her pampering. Aqua did her best to conceal it but she was honest to a fault: she was worried about Miyu’s scars. 

   The moment lingered. Aqua’s tentacle continued to rest on her shoulder and Aqua did not move it even though Aqua had finished her tasks, thus confirming Miyu’s intuition.

   “You don’t have to feel sorry about it, you know…” Miyu whispered, assuringly. She reached over and placed her hand atop Aqua’s tentacle that rested upon her shoulder. “It’s not like you did this to me personally.”

   “Yes, but I- my existence, it was facilitated by your pain.” Aqua pointed out, breaking her own heart as she did so.

   Miyu hummed as she shook her head, she coaxed Aqua closer. Aqua obliged once more. She twisted and curled around, slunk past Miyu’s body and the rubbery sensation of Aqua’s skin against her tickled her. It took some graceful manoeuvring but in the end, Aqua placed herself atop Miyu’s body but Aqua’s synthetic one floated in the water. Miyu had to hold her so she wouldn’t bob up and down on the water.

   “I love me just the way I am and you should too.” Miyu told her.

   She nuzzled Aqua’s face, kissing her gently with her ever present, trademark smile.

   “Trust me, Miyu,” Aqua replied, her voice cracked, “I love you just the way you are, I always have and always will.”

[raine-kai]

Several times now, I have tried to write fics with Third Prince (Ziduan) as related--by blood--to Zisheng or Shaoshang. All of them have ended up taking on some flavor of OT3, which is awkward for me since I didn't intend to stray into pseudo-incest territory, until I have had to find a workaround or scrap them.

I feel like the fact that this keeps happening is testament to how much, no matter how the show tells us that Zisheng and Ziduan are "secretly best friends", once you start unpacking that relationship in enough detail to try to write it, it becomes harder and harder to take it as strictly friendship.

Zisheng is extremely feral. He never masks his feelings. His crush on Shaoshang is self-evident from the moment they meet in episode 1, and once he sees her at the lantern festival in episode 6, the deal is sealed. Every single time that he and Shaoshang are in the same space, Zisheng's entire body is oriented toward her...with the exceptions being times when he's pretending to be scolded by the Emperor, or when he was carrying out his revenge and determined to abandon her (but accepted her help anyway, until they got stranded on that cliff).

Honestly, the number of women on this show who try to attract this man's attention when he just projects zero interest in anybody but Shaoshang—even is known to attack women who pursue him relentlessly—is...pretty astonishing and probably my biggest complaint with the story. 😂 (I feel like the women who want him are there to show us what a desirable man he is for Shaoshang, but...honestly, I think the show works just as well even without that element. That said, I do have a deep appreciation for the way that once we enter the second season, most of the "romantic rivals" are explicitly shown to only be interested in Zisheng because of his power and status.)

But even when it comes to pretending, despite all the lies and secrets, Zisheng doesn't actually lie about his feelings for the people around him--with Ziduan being the one and only exception. The reason why we are told he hates Ling Yi for most of the run of the show is a lie—not only a lie, but in fact Ling Yi's cruel divorce and abandonment of Junhua was probably a blessing for him and Junhua, because this gives them an excuse to not play nice with the man without getting suspicious.

Because Zisheng doesn't really have friends other than Ziduan, we don't really have a template for what their relationship will look like now that it can be out in the open, either. The show gives us not one single scene where they just...talk and interact naturally. Post-reveal, most of their scenes together include the emperor, who is the one leading the conversation. The exception to this is the damsel in distress rescue scene in episodes 55 and 56, where Ziduan panics over the notion that Zisheng will be dumped by Shaoshang again for wasting time saving him, and Zisheng responds by insisting he trusts Shaoshang to handle herself. (I have so many feelings about this, too many to unpack just yet which is why I haven't gif'd it yet.)

Zisheng's closest relationships other than with Shaoshang and Ziduan, are probably the following: A'Fei and A'Qi (his subordinates), Junhua and Uncle Cui (his trauma-sharing family), and the Emperor (his parental figure and sovereign). We see how gentle and caring he is with Junhua, as well as with A'Fei and A'Qi. With Uncle Cui and the Emperor, we see a far less emotive side of him, defiant and decisive and always loyal.

What is fascinating about Zisheng's relationship with Ziduan is that it matches up with none of the other relationships we see. Zisheng is never gentle in the way he handles Ziduan. Zisheng betrays Ziduan at least once to protect Shaoshang. In principle, probably we could look at his relationship to Ziduan as closest to what he shares with the Emperor, if without the same level of deference. But above all, this is the one relationship where Zisheng is able to convince everyone that he dislikes someone that, in fact, he likes very much.

The show doesn't even allow for an interpretation that by choosing to prioritize Shaoshang over that friendship, the friendship fell apart. Even though we don't see the scenes of them together, they clearly spend time together. Ziduan is with Zisheng already when we see him arrive to reunite with the Emperor. Ziduan has kept up to date with the gossip about Zisheng during his exile, and clearly has feelings about it.

The show told us they were secret best friends, so on the surface, it seems like in an AU setting Ziduan could be Zisheng's cousin, or brother, or something. But, ahem, as a person who has tried and failed to do this several times I advise going about it with care, because the more I have written them the less I am able to read it as a fully platonic friendship. Even if it is one-sided on the part of Ziduan—and here I struggle to fully expand my thoughts because I love him so much that it hurts to imagine his devotion to a friend who is entirely indifferent, and maybe only sees him as the most suitable future sovereign—there is an undercurrent of something in the way that Zisheng treats him. Maybe it's the trying to hold at arm's length a friend whose crush on him he doesn't want to unpack. Maybe it's affection of his own that is deeper than he knows what to do with.

For some reason the show couldn't even give us a shot of Zisheng really looking at Ziduan, though there are signs that he is far more at ease when Ziduan is around. The scene in episode 51, where Ziduan comes into the court to reveal the treachery of the Zuo family, for example. Zisheng has not reacted to anybody else the way he reacts to Ziduan's presence. The same goes for the proposal scene in episode 24 and the caning scene in episode 38. Ziduan's presence is part of what allows Zisheng to be as audacious as he is in these scenes--because Ziduan is secretly backing him up, though it doesn't look like this at the time.

Also, before I close out this ramble, I would like to highlight the fact that the only reason Zisheng did anything about the Luo Jitong situation was because it was upsetting Ziduan. He's known she's a problem for years. He's been perfectly happy to ignore her and let her make a fool of herself. But Ziduan gets cranky about it, and instantly Zisheng is drawing the line and making sure Luo Jitong knows it.

Add to this Ziduan's sheer meanness to Shaoshang in the book that reads as jealousy, and you get...a mess.

[crmsnmth]

September Sky Chapter Eight, Part 4

She didn't say anything, and placed her hand right over my heart. I could smell her shampoo. The sweet smell of watermelon candy.

I gritted my teeth and prepared for the question that always plays as a follow-up. Why? Everyone wants to know why, and to be perfectly honest, I don't really have a real answer, or reason. I don't know why I decided that cutting my skin open was some kind of medicine or came to learn razor blades to be comforting and home.

But the question never came. We just laid there, lost in are own thoughts. And I'm not sure, but that may have been worse. I couldn't even guess what she was thinking, which meant that, in my mind, she could only be calculating her escape. I'd been prepared for that moment since that very first drink. I knew someday she'd realize I am way to fucked up and unhealthy to be good in any relationship. The room felt heavy and the air itself seemed to weigh everything down, tightly. It was almost claustrophobic. Silence is a powerful force. I wasn't sure I could take it.

"I was really kind of a stupid kid," I finally said, feeling the strong need to break the silence. It wasn't so much that it was awkward, more like it was suffocating. I really did not want to face yet another anxiety attack. So I broke the silence.

"Huh?" Addison asked and looked at me. Her face seemed lost at thought. I swear I could see a panic in her eyes. A panic that screamed this wasn't worth it. That I was way too much trouble then initially thought. And still, I wouldn't blame her.

"I said I was kind of a stupid kid," repeating my words into the dimly lit room's airspace.

"I wouldn't say stupid. I mean, it seems more troubling then stupid. I just can't understand it. Why someone does it." Her voice was soft, and quiet. It was comforting, and in her tone she created a safe place where this could be talked about as it was, just a bad moment in my history. She could've been a therapist. She would've probably excelled at it.

"I wish I knew. I don't remember how I got the idea that cutting my skin open was a smart and healthy way to cope with depression. I wish could remember," I said. I'd said that whole line before. It was burned into my brain like all the other instant response I had stashed.

"You don't still do it, do you?"

"No. It's been years."

"Good."

The room went silent again. Outside, a car alarm shouted it's annoying sounds out into the night time air. Eventually, it's owner clicked it off. The silence was deafening.

"I was a pretty trouble kid in high school," I said, once again breaking up the silence. "My parents divorced and I watched my family completely implode." My parents divorce did have a major effect on me, but my troubles were started well before my dad walked out on my mom. My brain never worked properly and I spent most of my adolescence in a series of depression. I even got my 'free grippy sock vacation' during this time. I just never stuck around long enough or even followed through which might have saved me a lot of trouble coming in the future. But I was depressed teenager. Who ever heard of such a rarity?

"And it wasn't like I could talk to a friend. I really didn't have any."

"There wasn't anybody?" Addison asked.

"No, not really. The town I grew up in is a very rural farmland type of place. Being a goth kid in high school there was like signing a death warrant. I was picked on every single day by quite a few different kids. I was an easy target. They may be pieces of shit, but let's face it, I make an easy target. I was a guy wearing eye liner and eye shadow, black lipstick. All my clothes were black, and my pants always looked so big."

Addison was giving me her full attention now, and it felt weird. I ever liked being center stage, even during the days of Crazy Chris, or worse yet, in the many bands Chad and I would attempt at starting up. I think there were three or four times we had a full band set up and we'd go to practise and I'd find I couldn't sing. Stage fright, performance anxiety, whatever. I suffered it.

"I'd get the shit kicked out me on a pretty regular schedule. And it wasn't like I could go to the teachers. That may be what the world says to do, but when you're fifteen you know that it isn't a good idea. And I stand by that it isn't a good idea, and usually only makes things a million times worse.. So I took my beatings and the constant namecalling. I think I've been called a faggot in three different languages." I stopped to take a breath. The words were coming out in long sentences. And fast. I had to stop to remind myself to breathe. And to sse if Addison still looked like it mattered. Her face said it did.

"My self-esteem was destroyed. And one day I just got it in my head to cut myself. I don't know ther reason, but the first time the razor cut, it was shallow and only beaded up with blood. I think that was my favorite part of the self-harm era."

"What? Bleeding?" Even as she scrunched her nose up at the very thought of someone enjoying to see themselves blood.

"Kind of, yeah. I liked watching blood leave trails down my arms. For some reason, it made everything else not matter as much. Like any addiction, I enjoyed it at first, but by then end of it, I'm just lucky it didn't kill me." I sighed. Not a sad sigh. Like an "this is almost finished" kind of way.

[pintsizemama]

City Sidewalks

Day 30

Daddy Dave ‘verse

Welcome to the 2022 Christmas Writing Challenge!

Summary: You and Dave sneak away to NYC for New Year’s.

Pairings: Dave York x Reader (female), Dave York x You

Fandom: The Equalizer 2

Rating: Mature 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 689

Warnings: infidelity, Daddy/baby girl relationship, age gap…let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: This takes place after Christmas Carols. And this is obviously subjective. I happen to find NYC gorgeous and charming in the winter and at Christmas time…I’m sure there are many who would disagree. 🤣

Day 29 Day 31 Christmas Masterlist Series Masterlist Main Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

You shivered as an ice cold breeze swept through you. Dave noticed and pulled you into his side to help keep you warm.

“It’s so cold,” you murmured.

“Yeah,” Dave agreed. “It’s not usually this cold…it’s going to be a harsh winter.” You shivered again. Your parents had returned from their trip late on Christmas Eve. Christmas morning was spent opening presents you couldn’t care less about. Your parents still believed if they bought you things, you’d be happy. Parents who gave a shit about you would make you happy.

After presents you had all gotten dressed and headed over to the York’s house for Christmas dinner. It was something you did every year, though this year was a bit more awkward. Well, every year was awkward due to the inappropriate crush you had on Dave for so long, but this year was especially uncomfortable now that you were having an affair with him. Dave had pulled you into the guest bathroom while everyone was distracted to kiss you, then invite you to New York for New Year’s Eve. You had to contain your squeal of excitement, and immediately agreed. So, after Christmas, you told your parents you were going to New York with some friends from school to celebrate the New Year. They barely even reacted and told you to have fun.

“I’m so glad we did this,” you said happily.

“Me too, baby girl,” Dave replied. “After getting you all to myself last weekend, I got addicted. Needed to get my next fix.” You laughed and hugged him closer. He had booked a swanky hotel overlooking Times Square. Neither of you wanted to venture out tomorrow on New Year’s Eve since it would be insanely crowded, so Dave made sure your hotel room had a perfect view of the ball drop. You had decided today was a good day to explore the city and look at all the Christmas decorations still on display in all the store windows.

“The city is so beautiful at Christmas,” you mused. It had snowed a few days before, so it was a literal winter wonderland.

“Ive always loved New York,” Dave said, “but it’s even better this time of the year.” You walked a bit further and then stopped in your tracks outside the Tiffany’s store. The window display had you mesmerized. It was breathtaking. It was a miniature scene of decorating a Christmas tree. The iconic Tiffany chandeliers surrounded it. A gorgeous solitaire engagement ring sat on a small chair in front of the tree. You couldn’t take your eyes off it. Dave pressed himself up against your back and wrapped his arms around your waist. He snuggled his head next to yours to look at the display.

“One day,” he said softly, “when I can do it safely, I’m going to divorce Carol and put that ring on your finger, baby girl.” You sucked in your breath. Dave had never really discussed a future with you before.

“Really?” You whispered.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I told you. love you. You’re mine, baby girl, and one day the whole world will know it.” You turned in his arms.

“I love you too,” you whispered. He kissed you sweetly.

“Let’s go in,” he decided.

“Now?” You asked, pulling back in surprise.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. “I’m buying you that ring tonight.”

“Dave!” You gasped.

“I’m serious,” he said in a low voice. “You’re mine. Forever. I want that ring in my possession to prove to you I mean it.” You blinked away tears.

“I never thought you’d want that with me,” you said in a small voice.

“I want everything with you,” he said simply. “Marriage, a house, kids, a future. I just have to keep playing this part until it’s safe for me to make the changes I need to…you know my work is dangerous.” You nodded. “I won’t risk you. I have to make sure it’s safe before we start our future.”

“I understand,” you said immediately. “I can wait, Daddy.” He smiled.

“That’s my good girl,” he murmured. “Now let’s go buy you a ring.”

Day 31

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[variousqueerthings]

okay so another 12 episodes into season 6 and I’ll say a few overall things

1. Margaret this season is glowing! she’s crying! she’s being vulnerable! she’s opening up to Hawkeye especially!!!! she’s got a friend who’s a woman!!!!!!!!!! (did anyone else get a biiit of a lesbian feeling between the two of them? Margaret you’ve changed -- I loved you -- I love you)

And: that double episode where she and Hawkeye are lost in the middle of nowhere and end up presumably having sex -- I feel like the show is predicting all my tastes and needs??? the fact that they do have sex (which I did suspect would happen) and at a time like that where they’re both incredibly scared, and off the back of them leaning emotionally on each other during some incredibly tough times (Hawkeye telling her about Kyung Soon, Margaret telling him about Donald), the fact that Margaret -- being in a very emotionally vulnerable position + always battling against what she wants with what she feels is expected --  leans into the interpretation that it means they’re in love/starting a relationship, the falling out when Hawkeye eventually overcomes the awkwardness and tells her that he didn’t see the situation like that (and neither did she, she’s just following a script), the falling out, and the final scene!!!??? where they talk it out and realize they’re on the same page actually, and genuinely like and respect one another as friends?????? never did I think! it would go down like that!! (I’ve been ruined by all these stories about compulsory romance and sex = romance and the main guy and the main girl get together every time, to think it could be this good!?)

Also what was the intention of the framing when Margaret takes the block of wood out of Hawkeye’s thigh and he’s squirming around, because it sure looks like she’s ******* him (which... also correct and right)

hers and Hawkeye’s friendship has been especially gratifying to watch this season, as I’ve been hoping and waiting for it since the beginning, but I love seeing her open up to others -- last episode her girl friend (girlfriend) Lorraine told her that she ought to trust herself to become friends with her colleagues and she nervously asked BJ and Charles if they’d have coffee with her and of course they accepted, because Margaret is a fucking delight!

2. and then we had a series of episodes which had various degrees of serious, but mainly seemed to give lots of wonderful family dynamics (including the episode Mail Call Three which had two actual “family”s in there!) -- I almost feel too safe, like something terrible is waiting around the corner (oh yeah, the war...) -- but until then we got some wonderful stuff

- the episode where BJ has to call Peggy, just because he wants to know that she still “needs” him at all 

- the whole Olympics episode

- Radar feeling strange about his mother dating a new man, and Hawkeye talking about his father (and Radar joking a bit about the idea of their parents getting together, which was such a sibling energy moment)

- Margaret choreographing making sure that Hawkeye and BJ get hosed down + running over Charles’ trumpet! (and everyone cheering her)

- Klinger and Mulcahy going out on a mission to find stolen penicillin

- too many “Potter is dad” moments to count honestly

- Hawkeye and Potter immediately springing to action to help Margaret figure out if she’s pregnant, and on her terms (not making it official)

- and especially Klinger, both with the divorce and talking about how much he loves the 4077 (if not being in Korea) and with the episode where he accidentally throws out Margaret’s ring.

3. speaking of the episode with Margaret’s ring (and Margaret), both me and my partner feel like in this season the airing date order was clearly not completely in tune with some of the development -- especially Margaret who definitely has a “before Comrades in Arms” and “after Comrades in Arms” (heh I just got the joke in the title) feeling to her + the fact that the new surgical clamp they have to travel to show in those episodes apparently doesn’t get invented until three episodes later!

Going to make a note of Margaret progression and rejuggle the season so next time I watch it, I get to feel more of that development!

4. “Temporary Duty” gave us:

- the aforementioned Margaret and Lorraine! the Feelings of it all! Margaret is just life! (do you think they ever... 😳😳😳 👉👈)

- Charles development! He and BJ banding together! For a moment the walls were down! And hopefully a taste of a wonderful future friendship!

- the scene right at the end where Hawkeye returns and is so upset that nobody liked him at the other place, and has a “oh no that’s my insecurities” moment when Charles and BJ joke that they didn’t miss him at all, before Charles hugs him and BJ then practically tackles the both of them to the floor in affection! (screams and cries, my boys!)

[kimmimaru]

So, probably a bit TMI (mentions of mental health) for random internet strangers but oh well. I'm sticking it under a cut for people who don't care lol.

So, I've been having a...difficult time lately. I'll keep it simple and just say I'm struggling pretty bad with personal shit. Anyway, I was considering looking into counselling but the NHS no longer fund talking therapy, it's only CBT and stuff which is helpful but not what I need. So I'd have to pay through the nose. And even if I could afford it I've only been able to find 1 single person in my entire town who specialises in treating autistic people. There may be more but honestly I have no idea where to even begin looking. Also like there's loads of groups for older people and people with toddlers but nothing for parents of older kids, groups for the parents I mean. I struggle very badly with making friends and talking to people, I'm awkward as fuck and have no idea how to socialise. Unfortunately I'm not a child so don't have anywhere to go to meet people like me. It's hard to make friends when neurotypicals have an instinctual dislike of autistic people (ok not everyone but apparently they can identify people as 'weird' without even speaking to them and generally tend to avoid us). Sorry, I did say this was probably TMI, but I'm just so fucking lonely and so stressed I'm having heart palpitations. I'm not sleeping either and unfortunately I don't have anyone to actually talk to about it so this is why I'm posting this here. Its at least just getting it all off my chest, even if it's not a long term solution maybe it'll be enough to actually help me get some sleep tonight. My mum was the person I talked to about all this shit, the only one I felt I could actually confide in and she's gone. I have family but they're busy with their own lives and tbh...I never felt like they ever really got me. My dad's a very closed off man, not in a cold way, he was always affectionate but he and my mum got divorced a long time ago and since then I've never felt able to talk to him about deep stuff. I suppose it's something to do with broken trust and all that crap. My sisters are way too busy and have their own problems and lives and my only brother is a lot older than me and far away. They all love me and care about me, I have never doubted it but none of them are neurodivergent. They don't understand me really and never have (that's not a self pitying 'oh woe is me' it's just a fact). It's a very weird feeling to be surrounded by people who love you but knowing they just don't get you. I am extremely aware that people would kill to have what I do, a big, loving family and they try really hard to understand and help but sometimes you just need more weirdos like you who see the world the same way and have the same kind of issues you do. What I want is a day. Just one single fucking day where I can just do what I need to do around the house without just staring at it for hours before I work up the spoons to do it. I want one day where I can actually do something creative as I've lost my drive (probably temporary, depression usually has the opposite affect on me and I write MORE when I'm depressed for some reason). I want to play with my daughter without constantly worrying about if she'll eat something other than junk food (she's an extremely picky eater), or is she'll take a bath without a fight or if she'll actually drink something for a change (yes, we are in contact with doctors about all this, it's just an extremely slow process). I want to wake up and not be exhausted for a change, I want to not be in constant pain for no fucking reason (chronic fatigue...yay). I want to not spend my days unable to focus on anything, to not be constantly disassociating because my stupid brain can't cope with too much sensory input. I am exhausted, I'm grieving and I just want to be normal for a fucking change. Anyway, it's all a lot more complicated than what I've written and it's very unlikely this makes any sense at all. But I needed to write it down, to tell someone, somewhere just so I can stop obsessing over all these thoughts. Maybe now I can sleep.

[desolateice]

Cut from “Buku Buku Cha”

This is a short part I cut from around chapter 23 after Chozen leaves California where Johnny is reconciling with having his memories back and catching up on everything he missed. 

Two weeks was too short. And before Johnny knew it Chozen was back on a plane on his way home and he had to go back to his long distance relationship.

Which was fine, but he missed Chozen, missed touching him, curling up next to him, kissing him. But now he remembered himself, and there was plenty to do that he didn’t want to do.

Like to sit with Bobby and the guys and ask what he’d missed. 

Bobby had taken Daniel to the doctor to get his knee checked out and Johnny was so relieved to learn it was recovering fine and that he just got a pass to not do gym, and had to be careful.

He learned the divorce had been hell and while they told him a lot about it, he could tell there was a lot they weren’t going to tell him and Johnny could only imagine what a shit Sid was.

He learned about the cobra’s time with Mr. Miyagi, all the things they’d done with Daniel to try and get their minds off of worrying about him. Baking at the Browns, going to the beach, taking Daniel swimming at the Golf ‘N Stuff water park, the zoo. It sounded like they’d tried to make it up to him, the six months of fighting, tried to keep his mind off of worrying about Johnny.

“We don’t know why, but he was like….very distraught over you being gone,” Jimmy said. “So Bobby did the only thing he knows how to do, buried the poor kid in sweets.”

“It’s not the only thing I know how to do, but I did…uh show up at the LaRusso’s with a gift basket of like everything my parents make at the bakery and Mrs. LaRusso didn’t let me leave until she’d returned the favor by feeding me what had to have been enough food for a month.”

“Oh she does that, a lot,” Dutch said. “Any time I dropped Daniel off from one of our outings or searches for you, we all would go to walk him up and you know show her we got him home safe and what not and we’d all get pulled in and she wouldn’t let us leave until we’d eaten. Italians man.”

Apologizing to Daniel had been the next thing on his list. Figuring out what to say, again. 

They’d gone out for dinner, Johnny was adamant about it.

 Mrs. LaRusso had already fed him countless times since he’d been back and taken care of his mom and the guys. Given them all another comforting place to be.

It was a little awkward. He busied himself with picking out food, at staring at the menu trying to figure out what to say that he hadn’t said before which had backfired.

“I’m sorry,” Johnny said after they’d put in their order. “I used what you said as an excuse, I thought everyone would be better off without me, and that you were right, and everyone would be happier. I didn’t mean to worry everyone or cause issues. Or lead Mr. Miyagi to Okinawa where he couldn’t come back or put him or anyone in danger. I…don’t regret going to Okinawa though or that Mr. Miyagi had a chance to heal that pain with Mr. Toguchi, Yukie-san, or Miyagi sensei. They all needed that. But I am sorry that it hurt you. I didn’t mean to.”

Daniel studied him for a moment and then reached out, gently taking Johnny’s hand.

“You were a dick,” Daniel said. “But, then you weren’t. Take away Kreese, take away Sid and all the stuff that’s happened to you and you were really sweet. And after going to that divorce hearing with the guys, with Ma…” Daniel sucked air in through his teeth and shook his head. “Johnny that shit, the stuff Kreese did that the guys talked about, the stuff Sid did, none of that was okay and no one deserved that.”

“I do want to make it up to you, those six months of…being awful and terrorizing you, and not by running away.”

“Well buy me dessert, we’ll start there,” Daniel said smiling at him warmly.

“Deal,” Johnny said.

It was surprisingly nice. He knew Daniel a little, had gotten to know him as a person who he worried about when he hadn’t had his memories. A bit clinging, a little touchy, but who cared a lot. It was sweet.

[rametarin]

Doomsday preppers bore me.

Speaking a little bit about my background again.

So. It's 1995-96. I'm 11-12 years old. Parents divorced, we've since moved from where we started into a trailer so I can go to school in a new town, because the old one had a teacher that was an immovable object and destroying my mental health. Mom would either have needed to stop being an utter cunt and bringing her stress home with her to take it out on me, or my teacher would have to, and rather than just stop being a cunt at me, she chose to put me in a different school in a different town.

So we moved in with my 40-something dad after my parents divorced. She was a raging bitch again, dictating things she had no right dictating, starting screaming matches over control issues and just generally causing problems and dilemmas so no one could have any peace unless they were submitting to her and giving her attention. Just privileged (the real definition, not the sociology major one) white woman shit, knowing the law at the time would stan for her no matter how much of a raging cunt she was to everyone and everything. Any excuse to kick a man out of his own home was a good excuse, and everybody knew it.

It got so bad my father took on an obscene financial burden just to buy a house down the street and stick us in it so he'd have his space back. Since mom was hellbent on getting every dollar from him and lording ownership of his property over him while both of us, his kids, were under 18.

By 1996, she had really fallen off the deep end and was being a belligerent and aggressive bitch to everyone and everything for no reason other than they weren't doing exactly as she wanted, immediately when she wanted it. Failure to do that meant she was going to just make your life miserable as a pasttime, since women do not reap physical consequences for these actions without triggering other women's "THAT COULD BE ME! I CAN'T TOLERATE THAT HAPPENING TO ANOTHER WOMAN! SHE'S A MOOOOMM!!!" response.

She started writing down her delusions in a lined notebook. She's always believed she was some sort of psychic/sensitive spiritualist. She identifies as a Christian and sees "the occult" as bad, but she believes herself to be holyer-than-thou and thus, her self-aggrandizing brand of pseudo-spirituality is centered around receiving divine prophecy. Any stupid thing she imagines, she believes is going to happen and continues to look for it. Anything she did not personally imagine, she discredits as impossible, because she didn't foresee it.

So you can have the flu and she won't give a shit and consider you exaggerating your pain and distress, but if she "prophesices" you're going be ill, she ignores how you actually feel and projects her delusions of how sick you're going to be onto you. Just, antagonize you to try and get you to play out how she imagines reality working. It's like being aggressively Live Action Roleplayed at and being stuck in that awkward moment where you won't do what she imagined is true.

It's a kind of narcissism where she's both acting as well as deluding herself to try and convince herself and those around her of her preferred way of seeing the world. She AGGRESSIVELY tries to gaslight reality itself. That level of audaciousness and pride is just, 10/10 asshole. And it's exposure to this raging, consequence-free, insulated piece of shit that has forced me to intolerance when dealing with them. Because like any petty dictator, you can be as deluded and egotistical as you want so long as you make OTHER PEOPLE die or suffer for your delusions. She sacrificed my health, safety and future by forcing my participation in her delusions as a consequence of living around and with her, so whenever she faced setbacks, she demanded I somehow MAKE her delusions work, or not only did I get punished by the consequences of her disgusting decisions independent of her response to it, but I was given the blame for them when they failed. Like it was my ass that filled the room with canned food until the cheap plastic shelves collapsed.

So anyway. By 1997, she had a raging "I'm just, like, psychic, y'know?" boner of self-importance, and she looked around to find literature that'd compliment and play along with her delusions. She was depressed, and the only reason she wasn't suicidal was because she was too prideful to die while we, he kids, were still young and dependent. But, she was miserable. Independent of anything else, she wanted a situation where she could die but be utterly blameless for it.

In fact, she wanted to go to heaven but it be God's will, but god wasn't cooperating. Outside a few panic attacks, she was fit as a fat flabby fiddle. Dispirited, she started diving into literature that confirmed her bias and found a culture of similar doomer-boomers online, from similar backgrounds and attitudes. She found the world of Christian online rapturism.

Now, when one imagines these, they imagine a very top-down hierarchy of cultists preaching to ignorant, receptive, submissive sheep about bible scripture and what for sure is going to happen. This is not true. Each person in that room that is not the preacher has certain expectations for them to confirm their bias and say what they want said, and the preachers that would be popular have to read the room to figure out their bend, biases and what they want, in order to affirm the bias. They are only giving these supposed preachers the power over them to fit that role. If the preacher starts dictating things they don't believe, they lose their top-from-the-bottom narcsisstic flock and wind up followerless. They aren't all a bunch of Pentacostal tongue speakers babbling nonsense or Catholics LARPing demon exorcisms.

So she joined these 'prepper' forums where boomerdoomers talk about how the end for sure is coming you gais, it's prophesized in dur by-bull.

The number of nights I had to listen to this stupid bitch moaning and diatribing to herself about "the mark of the beast" being an ID chip for some dystopian cyberpunk world, and microchips in milk and other stupid shit, were far too many. Chemtrails being poison by some nebulous government agency poisoning the air (JUST FUCKING WAKES OF PLANES YOU DUMB CUNT) and, just, an endless cavalcade of confirmation biases for her delusions. And every single one gave her the confidence to fake it until she made it about The Rapture being right around the corner.

The truth was, I think, she hated the idea of "being used" by us, her kids. Me, in particular. We'd finally gotten stable to where, as a nurse, she was pulling in between 65 to 70K a year in 1990s money. She wasn't paying rent or a mortgage, because the house we lived in was owned by my father, they were divorced, and him paying the mortgage was basically like child support since it meant she didn't have to pay rent to live anywhere. That was easily $1,200 a month in savings.

So how did this selfish cunt spend the savings? Was it on securing new cars to get from A to B? Was it on college educations for us, her kids? School supplies? A second car, so I'd be able to get to and from a job in order to make my own money?

No. She blew what savings that would've come from that out of her disgusting cottage cheese ass on frivolous feel-goods. Going out to the movies every weekend, buying movies, buying junk food, driving around waaaaay more miles than was good for the car, paying automotive bills from using the car too much, throwing fistfuls of money to lord how she was "the good sister" and a martyr and oh how her sisters abused her generosity, at all her sisters.

And she expected ME to get a job, put a car in her name, buy the car, have absolutely no control over where I could go with it, no right to drive it without her explicit direction and permission, but all responsibility to take care of it from maintenance to gas money (and she loves to just ride around in circles for no other reason than to wastegas.) And wanted all my future minimum wage dollars to go towards paying her bills..

So she could, again, blow more of her own money out of her ass. Which she patted herself on the back for by taking the initiative and spending, whether we wanted her to or not, to then wail and scream about how we "owed her" and she'd expect us to fork over our income when we were making any.

So from 1997 to 2002, conveniently from the time I went from 13-18, this world class cunt became the most insufferable, entitled, antagonistic, greedy bitch in the world. Every minute of the day had to be about her, every dollar had to be about her delusions, every inch of space in the house was taken up by her spending exorbinant amounts of money on canned foods and powdered milk and other nonsense until just moving through the house was an episode of Hoarders.

No matter how much I might say, "We HAVE NO MORE FUCKING ROOM!" She'd just buy more because, "IT WAS ON SAAAAAALE. MAKE ROOM!!" and make it my responsibility to Tetris-block rearrange her shit so we could fit more into the way too small house.

It wasn't bad enough that she was keeping us poor as fuck by only investing in her delusional, "seven years of tribulations and strife" food, preceding the rapture. But that she filled the house with her shit, and forced me to participate in moving it around. Forcing other people to normalize your delusions is a power move intended to dominate and control the environment and setting in which other people live. It's a way to try and impose reality onto them by forcing them to interact with it on your terms.

I couldn't have any social life, money to go with other people, or even build my own future, because this disgusting cunt wanted to LARP out some fantasy that god would swoop down, alleviate her need to kill herself to escape reality, and bring her up to heaven while everybody she disagreed with burned in hell beneath her. But I didn't want to surrender to the state and just become homeless.

I wanted her to snap the fuck out of it. I thought she was just a proud moron, not rotten to her core evil. I know better now, but I will never, ever give anyone the benefit of the doubt like this again. You show me who you really are once, I'll believe you, even after you claim to change. Because the reality she was going to be not just worthless but a detriment to my life was too cold and horrible to imagine for teenaged me. The reality was worse than I ever could've imagined.

She never got better. Even after her date of 2000 new years when the rapture was supposed to happen, the world didn't end. Nor did it happen on new years 2001. So we go into 2001, and she's still talking about "any day now." Since she married herself to the idea Jesus was going to beam us up and there was no reason to invest in the future because God made sure heaven was going to be our future.

I was going to turn 18 in summer of 2002. I figured she'd see that she'd been foolish and just went through a rough spell, mentally, and would recover.

And then fall 2001, 9/11 happened. She got back on her bullshit and being irrational and unreasonable. With added bigotry towards Islam above and beyond the antipathy that Islamototalitarianism deserves.

Then that stupid murmuring of prophecy shit caught in her dumbass Doomsday prepper online forums, and 2012 became the next big date of global catastrophe. Which, surprise surprise to people in 2024, was another great big fat fucking nothingburger.

I have no patience or tolerance for doomerboomers. I know exactly what you are. It's ugly, it's selfish, it's ignorant, it's mentally diseased and it belongs in a god damned nuthouse.

The only reason I didn't try to have the stupid bitch committed was she was just functional enough to provide a bit of money for my grandparents (her parents) to keep them out of complete poverty.

Well. Both my grandparents are dead, now. And all her sisters and brothers (my aunts and uncles) are despicable, selfish, delusional assholes that I wouldn't piss on to put them out if they were on fire. She's no less psychotic and insufferable now than in the 00s. Less so, even. I lose nothing and hurt no one if telling the police about her would get her put on the funny farm.

Anyway. Yeah, the eclipse brought out people like her in droves, and it made me angry.

[bluebiiird]

Sometimes I worry that I don’t understand things properly. I’m a highly emotional person, having gone through life in an emotional war, front and center at all times. A young girl with a mom too busy to notice her alcoholic husband was abusing in daughters in more way than one, and a dad too sick to care. too tired from his own life of trauma and divorce that took his daughters away because he couldn’t handle his own life as it was. I took salvation in my room, despite knowing at any time it could open and become a world of hell. knowing that at all times hell was on the other side of that door. i walked through life on tip toes and wide eyes being hyper aware of those around me hoping to sneak through the interactions enough to return to as much of a safe place i could find.

as i got older and started realizing what was effecting me so intensely, i found a new salvation. driving in the car with my mom, listening to AFI and iron maiden and whatever else would come on the radio as we drove for miles and miles. sometimes near the coast, sometimes to las vegas to care for my sweet grandmother. i grew so close to her, and came so close to telling her what was happening at home behind closed doors. my mom knew, and chose to turn her cheek. it’s a lot to process, but i’ve spoken and written these words so many times i feel numb towards it. it still impacts me daily in ways i’m still learning. i’m pretty sure i have borderline personality disorder, though my therapist would only confirm that i have PTSD. i’m close to my mother now, however she still speaks as if there is another world i’m never going to be apart of within her, and i get only tiny bits of love/attention/affection before she returns to it and i don’t exist. my dad cares as much as he can, but with both i just feel this overwhelming sense of “they tried, they can never be what i needed” and that makes me feel like a shitty person, but it simultaneously helps me grow from it.

my failed relationship with dylan is a reminder, maybe the biggest that i need to work with myself to become better. i thought i was in such a better place, but quickly gave back into my kratom addiction and my fear of abandonment ways. allowing his toxic ways of talking down to me, ignoring me as punishment, treating me constantly as if i meant absolutely nothing to roll by and convince myself it was all something wrong with me and if i could simply try more i’d be good enough for him to treat better. i realize fully, i get this from my relationship with my parents. if i just try hard they’ll see me and i’ll be worth being a daughter they want, aside from empty words of “you’re so good!” and then actions that prove they would rather do anything other than be my parent since the get go. 

i saw Jonah in fort bragg the other morning the minute i arrived in town convinced i was going to have the absolute best time solo camping in caspar. he was with a girl and sat within feet away from my chair, and once i realized it was him i began shaking to the point i couldn’t even hold my coffee. i hate my adrenaline reaction to situations like this, i’m sure it’s in part from my antidepressant but a big part of me is also still just a scared girl not sure what to do in situations like that. he never said anything during or after, and i’ve decided to let it go to avoid looking like the biggest creep imaginable. since then i’ve crossed most of mendo off of my possible travel destinations, to give us both the freedom of having to encounter such an awkward situation again. 

in the last week so much has gone down. i’ve run into nearly everyone i wouldn’t want to run into, or had them reach out. i’m back in a really comfortable uncomfortable spot. i got a promotion at work, made a $20,000 mistake and saved a dog. She was the sweetest dog running in and out of a busy background i was driving on my lunch break, i checked with the only house nearby and they said she wasn’t hers, and when i opened my car door she just ran in and layed in my passenger seat looking up at me with her two differently colored eyes. I started crying becaues i only had minutes before i was supposed to be back at work, knowing it was a very busy day and i couldn’t just leave her in my car, or even have enough time to run home to drop her there while i figure out what to do. i called everyone i could, and the only one who was able to help was dylan. he ignored my phone calls before texting me asking what i wanted, and said he was in the middle of a hair cut but would come get the dog right after. i asked him to take her to my house until i got off work and then i could figure everything out (see if she’s tagged, see if i could find the owner, etc) but instead he took her to the vet and left her there. i cried again when he told me that because i was overwhelmed with the whole situation and was stuck at the office, and had just connected with that dog who could have been killed. i called the VCA he brought her to and they told me their process, so in about two weeks if no one claims her i will be able to go get her. then i found out i’m being sued by old credit card debt. it just really never stops when you just need a fucking break, and sometimes all i can do is laugh and go “what’s fucking next” but then the next thing happens and i’m like OKAYYYY hah :(((((((( and that’s how i get through life sometimes 

tonight i’m going to a metal show, i’m waiting to hear back from dylan’s grandma about what i should do in regards to him and my situation, and i hope i just have a good fucking night

[shxdowsofombra]

The Ball

[Charlie]

Charlie was rather confused when he saw his sister and Zach nearly storming out with Henry trailing behind them. He noticed that Josh looked rather awkward and he was sure that Josh didn’t know anyone there so he went over to keep him company. “Is everything okay?” 

[Josh]

Josh looked at Charlie and shrugged, “I’m not sure.” He replied before looking around for his parents. “Maybe I should go too. I have to find my parents.”

[Charlie]

He saw his father storming away from the balcony as well. “Oh that can’t be good…” He says. “Well I mean I can keep you company if your parents want to still do whatever it is they are doing…last I saw they were asking for autographs?” 

[Josh]

“Of course they were. I asked them not to bring it. At least I got rid of that stupid book before they brought it for Misty to sign.” He says before looking at Charlie. “You really don’t have to. I should stop them from harassing royals.”

[Charlie]

“To be fair those royals deserve it for all the bull they put my parents through sometimes. Oh that book that got wiped from everywhere? Yeah I heard about that. My father wasn’t happy about that either…” He says with a shrug. “Well you are dating my nephew so since Emmett has seemingly disappeared someone needs to give you the ‘you hurt him I will kick your ass talk’. Seeming as my brother in law would probably be more about eating than talking.” 

[Josh]

“Oh well they both gave me that talk when I met him. My parents aren’t like that. They didn’t really talk to Henry. But I am aware that is what happens when you hurt someone in your family.” He replied. “Though…not to be rude, weren’t you married before?”

[Charlie]

“Yeah it was for uniting kingdoms before they turned on us and she turned on us so I wanted a divorce. She is now with my brother so it all worked out. She was supposed to be with him anyway so I don’t know why they had us set up.” He shrugged. 

[Josh]

“Oh okay. Well if everything worked out then that’s great.” He nods before continuing to look around for his parents. “If you see your mom, I mean the queen, will you thank her for inviting us?”

[Charlie]

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they snuck away to see the rest of the castle. A lot of people do that for the first time here.” He tells him. “It’s weird seeing people walking through the halls with cameras and everything. I almost walked out after a shower without anything on and that could have been pretty bad.” He jokes. “At least having a house of your own you don’t have to worry about the invasion of privacy.” 

[Josh]

“No, I finally got them to sit and wait for Hope and Zach. But as many times as I ask Henry for them to meet, he always cancels on me.” He smiled before looking at Charlie. “Well yeah I am sure it’s weird since this is your home, it’s not a castle to you. I mean, not in the sense it is to everyone else.”

[Charlie]

“Well, it seems as though I heard that Zach ate Hallie’s last boyfriend before David. I think there is a good reason why he is worried about that. But I am sure he is worrying about nothing. I can see why he is dating you though.” 

[Josh]

“Yeah I understand that, but my parents aren’t like that and it’s important to me that they meet if we continue dating.” He replied before hearing his words. “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

[Charlie]

“Well I am sure Henry will talk to his parents about it before anything happens. It’s always best to ask them when they are in a good mood.” He responds before looking at Josh. “Well for one you seem to have your head on straight unlike some people in my family. Two, you aren’t afraid to meet his parents and are actually rather eager to meet them despite the fact Zach is a literal dragon. And three…well you are cute. My nephew has good taste, let’s just say that.” 

[Josh] 

“Oh…thank you.” He smiled before blushing softly. “Um…well I should…go find my parents. It was really nice talking to Charlie.” Josh says before leaving to go find his parents.

[Charlie]

“Yeah it was nice talking to you too. I think I see them standing over by Tommy.” He gestured to where Tommy was standing, seemingly trying to get away as Charlie figured he was waiting for Ellie to show up.