#except its 10 years post- control freaks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

princess-of-the-corner · 5 months ago

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Some recent musing on control freak Marinette and her penchant for self inflicting drama on herself by doom spiraling reminded me of an idea I had. It was a future Chloleka idea set 10 years post S5:

Juleka is a model and in the process of moving on from Rose (they may have never gotten together, broken up or she passed away) Juleka takes a job at Style Queen as a model to have some space and new experiences to herself. Hell she might already be over that stuff and just be looking for new experiences.

The key thing here is that Juleka is surprised to find out Chloe has the run of things now, a fact Chloe herself keeps quiet, essentially keeping Audrey as a figurehead who does nothing & wields no power.

She's also changed a lot, better treatment of staff sure, but more visibly she has a strangely, subtly drawn look and most notably her hair is grey even though she's barely 25.

Chloe is also just generally being weird.

(Chloe didn't hire Juleka one of her subordinates made the offer and she only found out later, but couldn't walk it back so she's panicking)

Why is she panicked? Well >:3c

Chloe knows Marinette is Ladybug, and has deduced the other heroes IDs through that and is convinced Marinette deliberately manipulated her, endangered her, used her and overall, orchestration the complete desolation of Chloe's life.

Just like Hawk Moth & her parents, except Marinette's not dead and still has super powers meaning she is an infinitely more existential threat than a hotelier or perpetually drunk burn out.

Thus, Chloe is convinced Juleka has been sent as part of a plan to tear her down again and so is deeply paranoid.

This causes a reveal she knows who the Miraculous Holders are, IE Chloe trying to use that info to basically say:

"Leave me alone & I leave you alone."

Cue Marinette having a complete freak the fuck out, because while she's been getting a lot better about controlling her loved one's and everything.

This is CHLOE!

Chloe who has apparently known their IDs for years, Chloe who just threatened them, Chloe who is completely outside of her ability to influence!

Also wait what she thinks what Marinette planned to what!??!

So, Juleka's stuck trying to mediate Marinette's sudden paranoia, Chloe's paranoia, make her new job work & eventually bonds with Chloe.

One aspect of it for me would be that most of the class barely register Chloe as like… A villain, if that makes sense? Even Marinette is mostly freaked out because Chloe "knows" not because she's Chloe.

To most of them Chloe was just a jerk at 14 and that's it.

Bit for Chloe, she had her life desolated at 14 hasn't recovered.

She just has a façade of strength and ferocity; like an obsidian blade she is sharp but brittle.

Juleka only has a vague recollection Chloe locked her in a toiled stall and is just kind of like (Shrugs) about it as she'd been more upset about missing the picture than the stall. Its not like she's claustrophobic or a germaphobe or anything that'd make it legit traumatic.

An apology would be nice but whatever its been ten years, ya know?

Meanwhile Chloe's like, carved herself a life but she's in perpetual survivors mode and utterly convinced people with super powers want to use her as their chew toy the way all the adults in her life did.

So it takes a bit for her to chill out & top viewing Marinette as some kind of god with a grudge.

Not helped by Marinette really, really wanting a sense of control or at least understanding in this scenario.

Marinette: OK, we need to organize some kind of joint event with Style Queen and Agreste Industries. I can come along as fashion advisor, Sabrina can work as my assistant, and Adrien- Juleka: Or we just let it lie? Chloe's been sitting on this secret for ten years. I think we're fine. Marinette (Shaking her phone) But we don't KNOW!!!

Aside but Marinette & co likely holding a vote & despite some of her stress mostly adopting a wait and see approach. As well as trying to reverse engineer exactly "why" Chloe thinks this is all part of a scheme beyond: "Well Chloe was kind of a brat. Maybe she's just blaming Marinette/Ladybug cos its convenient?"

With Marinette eventually having a like, "Huh, why did I tell Chloe to be horrible to appease her, in hindsight, obviously abusive mother… OK I can see how in that context me then taking away Queen Bee would have seemed like trapping her in a villain role… Huh" :/

As an aside, its fun writing Chloe knowing cos she has enough info and circumstances that its not only easy but logical to assume Marinette or Gabriel built tons of their lives around fucking her over.

But the truth is, at least with Marinette, it was more incidental and accidental, utterly unintentional. But it doesn't look like that from outside so its easy to reach the conclusion there was more to it.

& having Marinette come to that realization Chloe was a maladjusted & abused child as adults is very cathartic cos its like them going "Oh suddenly a lot of shit is making sense & I feel kind of bad about it."

Like not straight up salt, but definitely like sucking in a breath through your teeth and frowning as an awkward "Oh things never needed to get that bad" realization hits.

As someone said elsewhere, there's catharsis in finally having it seen.

if I ever wrote it fully that would be a huger aspect of it for a lot of the cast.

Finally seeing that Chloe was an abused & trouble child who needed help and definitely… Bracing over that realization and that their sort of happy ending came at her expense the way it did. Not even in a super guilt-ridden way, as said this is less salt and more like... Bitter-sweet?

Because there's still life left, things can still be fixed. & for all that they were heroes with powers they were still kids. Its not really about allocating blame, its about seeing what was there that they couldn't or refused to at the time. While for Chloe it'd be heavily about letting her walls down and learning to try and trust.

As an aside, Juleka I think is actually good for this as an outsider.

She doesn't have nostalgia like Sabrina or Adrien might, nor defensive paranoia like Marinette or even intense curiosity like Alya.

She's just been kind of dumped in this scenario and is dealing with it. Chloe was a bratty jerk but its been ten years, she barely remembers her.

Which means when she does start remembering, its less "I am back in my fourteen year old body" and more "Looking back on this as an adult there were a lot of red flags."

& as she is trying to begin a new chapter of her life, helping someone else close the book on a lot of trauma and pin would be thematically fitting.

As an aside having read a thing about how "Marinette is her own worst critic" I kind of love how that'd play into the above idea cos like.

It'd very much be making all Chloe's trauma about her paranoia first & then about her guilt complex. When even Chloe doesn't want that.

She doesn't want to be in this story god dammit. Just leave her alone! Which isn't a solution as it puts her back in arrested development.

But yeah, I have a lot of thoughts about this idea, but sadly lack the focus to write, I hope it proved interesting though!

& I hope it made sense XD

Yes! YES!!!!!!

They've grown but the hurts are still there and they gotta disentagle the way it felt vs. what it was (both believing the other was purposefully out to destroy them but they were just fucked up 14 year olds)

(I think another reason the rest of the gang doesn't consider Chloé a threat was because they never knew about the 'working for Hawkmoth' thing they just kinda accepted that Chloé was kind of a fuck at times so that was why)

And Juleka like 'my dudes I am just here for the paycheck oh wait fuck I have feelings now goddamn it!!" but seriously she is both close enough to the situation to know what's happening while being removed enough that she doesn't get caught up in it.

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thursdaysrain · 1 year ago

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im going to try posting here every day for . i dont know. a while. and see if i get a feel for it. just whatever off the cuff no editing

recently i watched adventure time front to back (having seen maybe 30% of it forever ago), and i feel kind of goofy for being one of those like 'woah this kid show is so deep and good' converts but there's just a lot of meat on those bones, i guess. it takes itself seriously thematically!

as always consuming very good fiction over such a dense period (i worked through like everything - 10 seasons, distant lands, and fionna and cake - within a few weeks) my brain is rewired and i feel bonkers.

unfortunately i have intense shipping urges but to my dismay (although not unexpected) it is not even one of the top ten ships on AO3 (63 out of 4k works). of course this aired during an era tumblr i'm not so familiar with but i know things were much darker on here 5-10 years ago for Problematic Fanwork.

finn/pb seems to be a radioactive ship. anything i see about it always has all these caveats or is like trying to thread the needle of not specifically being about a manipulative functionally-immortal queen grooming (in both connotations of the word, really) a young teenage boy to be Her knight. not to mention it loses out to pb/marceline, which is 1. gay 2. baited from early in the show and 3. ended up 'winning' and maybe most importantly, unfortunately, 4. is Not Problematic

dont get me wrong i like them together a lot. and i am very happy that it was canonized, or whatever. but there's just so much insanity inducing material w/ finn and princess bubblegum. the show regularly points out how fixated on her he is while also showing again and again how much of a possessive control freak pb is.

there's a lot that keeps running through my brain bc of AT, some things more interesting/useful than others (such as a specific perspective on like, disaster, time, and life going on despite everything that resonates strongly). but no i keep coming back to this weird thing. i blame my chldhood exposure to tenchi muyo for why i am the way i am. this is just my washu/tenchi thing all over again. that's literally what it is what the fuck

i dont think i could get into writing fanfic. im too obsessed w/ worldbuilding, like, over planning things, i cant just slap out a short story. maybe it's worth forcing myself sometime. the closest i ever got (except a couple pieces i wrote in elementary school and lots of fan chatroom RP) was i was planning for a 2hr renpy fanfic vn about manbagi from komi san (maybe my most rabid fixation on a character and a huge outlier) getting together with tadano. komi san kind of lost its momentum for me though, especially with manbagi rotated out of the main cast after her devastating (but inevitable) loss in the main ship war.

all this to say my only recourse is to rotate these cubes in my brain over and over until they shatter into countless pieces and leave their marks on my other works. there's a luxury a long running serial work has, and it's time to really ferment, and i regret i have no such luxury. i suppose that's another benefit of fanfic, though, being able to lean on that.

#adventure time #navel gazing #???

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trooper1023 · 3 months ago

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From the Trumpland Diary on FB:

DOGE FRAUD UPDATE!

Listen to THIS s***...

The United States Institute of Peace (USIP) was created in 1984 under Ronald Reagan. It's a congressionally-funded, independent, non-partisan non-profit tasked with promoting conflict resolution and prevention around the world.

Back in February, Trump signed an Executive Order to dismantle the peace-keeping institute, and last month he ordered most of the USIP's board of directors fired.

Since USIP is independent of the rest of the government (ie, not a government entity), it was initially suspected DOGE wouldn't have any authority to "audit" it (or whatever the hell DOGE is actually pretending to do).

Since this story involves Trump, Elon Musk, and DOGE, you probably already guessed that none of that mattered.

On Fri, March 14, the WH Deputy Director of Personnel announced the firing of all 10 voting members of USIP's 15-member board; then DOGE tried, unsuccessfully, to enter the building twice that day. The USIP board basically told them, “You don’t have any authority over us.”

Over the weekend, the USIP's head of security, Colin O’Brien, posted "No Trespassing" signs out at the front entrance.

On Mon, March 17, a bunch of DOGE workers showed up at USIP headquarters to take control of the building by force after the institute’s president, George Moose, and top staff refused to leave. Unable to gain access to the the building, DOGE called in Inter-Con—the private company that provided security for the USIP building—and threatened to cancel all their other government contracts unless they came and unlocked the doors (Inter-Con had received more than $2 billion in federal contracts since 2007, most of it from the State Department).

Inter-Con showed up and attempted to use their badges to enter the building via tap access. O’Brien, suspecting the Trump administration might seek Inter-Con’s help getting into the building, cancelled their contract the night before—ending their badge access—and collected all keys. Except for one.

The lone master key in Inter-Con’s possession was used to open a side door. Once inside the building, the intruders were confronted by O’Brien. One of the Inter-Con employees instructed his assistants to go find the building’s gun safe, prompting O’Brien to initiate a full lockdown and call 911.

Meanwhile, members of DOGE who were still locked outside called the U.S. Attorneys Office, who ALSO called the police and said the USIP staff inside the building were trespassing.

After a 5-hour standoff, the Metro Washington PD showed up, along with the FBI, and were admitted into the building. The authorities escorted the USIP staff out, and DOGE—led by 28-year old Nate Cavanaugh—took over the building. Former State Department official Kenneth Jackson assumed the role of USIP president.

But this isn’t a story about how DOGE gained access to building—it’s about how they’re trying to steal THE WHOLE FREAKING BUILDING.

Court documents filed Monday show that Cavanaugh—who was previously installed at the U.S. General Services Administration (GSA)—had replaced Kenneth Jackson as USIP’s acting president. Furthermore, Cavanaugh had been instructed to transfer all of USIP’s assets to GSA. Including the $500 million building itself.

The transfer orders were signed by Marco Rubio and Pete Hegseth.

The same court filing showed a letter written by Cavanaugh to Stephen Ehikian, GSA’s acting administrator, that read:

“I have concluded that it is in the best interest of USIP, the federal government, and the United States for USIP to transfer its real property located at 2301 Constitution Ave NW, Washington, D.C. 20037, to GSA and to seek an exception from the 100 percent reimbursement requirement for the building.”

That request was approved by Russell Vought, director of the Office of Management and Budget (also the grand architect of Project 2025), who told Ehikian to “to set the amount of reimbursement at no cost for the transfer of the United States Institute of Peace’s (USIP) headquarters building.”

If you’re having a hard time putting all those pieces together, here’s the 10-second summary:

Nate Cavanaugh is a 28-yr old DOGE staffer who was initially installed at GSA, physically forced his way into the Institute of Peace—a non-executive agency DOGE has no jurisdiction over—made himself acting president of the agency he commandeered, and then got approval to hand over that agency’s $500 million headquarters to the agency he was working for.

For free.

#america #politics #government #america under dictatorship #doge #doge is dodgy

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palecrystal123 · 5 months ago

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So I have been watching everything that I found about TOP from the bigbang days to being an actor interviews and stuff along with his acting performances and what I find interesting is that he is well known for being say the rebellious idol whole bigbang is like Aww YG cant really control them and now that he is no longer a member obviously he is a free soul but what I dont get is he seemed to be trying really hard to put up a show entertaining one of course so that people love him now I dont know if its some kpop thing like when other idols do what they do so that you like them or not because damn its BIGBANG isnt it they are all so natural and real Uhum ignoring the few scandals of the FOUR members they really just are genuinely nice and fun people eh? Maybe its just seunghyun’s or should I say was his personality to act this certain way to seem happy and fun he seemed really nonchalant yet caring and twisted so freaking confusing that I have not quite understood him if I could ever meet him in real life Id ask just one thing all that potrayal on media is it even real is anything he ever showed to us was it ever genuine ? Except for his love for art and culture which I can bet my life on that man is dedicated I would really love to do a detailed analysis on the art he posted cause I personally too really like to interpret art styles tho I prefer classical/period art more but still how much has TOP really changed as a person the past 10 years was he really as adorable as he looked before or was it all a pretense a part of his “Job” as an idol at YG and is this who he always was from the start Im not saying he is hugely different now cause we only have 2 interviews of him but still he looks very calm and polite (idk what I expected) though Im pretty sure the change in his mannerism is due to trauma and drug/alcohol abuse (nervousness/jittery) even in the short netflix posted his posture is very awkward as if he were held at gunpoint feel bad for him and I hope he is in his recovery journey .

I was yapping to my sister who is studying medicine and she actually agreed his face heavy wrinkling (koreans are known for glass skin and aging slow) even with visible makeup on and fat deposition near chin/face were a sign of alcohol abuse and smoking and obviously the depression since yeah depression and anxiety are linked to substance abuse Maybe he knew thanos would get this famous maybe he is planning a comeback or maybe he just did this role out of spite and will never return his mysteries may never be solved

#top #choi seung hyun #bigbang #kpopidol #kdrama

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cerosin-bis · 3 years ago

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Do you have any more hcs for Ghost? Maybe particularly if he got a crush or somethin (if you're comfy with that. if you aren't comfy, you can just do general hcs, I won't mind at all). I feel like I hc him too soft because I like soft but that doesn't really work with COD because these aren't particularly..... soft people. So I really like hearing more nitty gritty and rough stuff bc I think its more realistic. I also love your art and foam at the mouth so hard when I see it!!!!

First of all, thank you anon for the sweet comment about my art 🥺♥ And yes, with great pleasure! 🖤 Ghost has been my "OG" fave for an embarrasingly long part of my life and the character I imagine is by now an hybrid between 2009 mw2 & 2019 MW. Can't wait to see him more fleshed out in MWII. I'll try to two in one your request, and I hope you like this. I know he is a very dear character to many of us.

Rambles aside, here goes: Ghost headcanons!

...Putting these under the cut because it got VERY long oops I love him too much…

Ok so the main thing I headcanon is that he survived Loose Ends. I KNOW that's not canon with the reboot, let alone "survivable" at all in mw2 but this is how things have been cooking in my mind in the past 11 years lol. He survived being shot in the stomach and escaped the fire. Smoke inhalation fucked up his voice though (laryngeal burns are a real thing, and it also "explains" the changed voice lol). He's got burn scars albeit not extensive thanks to his gear.

With all that in mind, he's got like 10 layers of issues, and the first one is that he's a complete control freak, half due to his upbringing and half cos of the "betrayed and almost died" part.

Ghost is both a very focused, cold-headed and efficient soldier... AND the most prone to go AWOL in TF141. If the orders clash with his very strong and personal set of values and morals, he'll either do his thing or vanish. Price is on thin, THIN fucking ice and knows it.

Actual anger issues. The exact opposite of Nikto: Ghost lashes out verbally, never physically. He gets upset really really fast and you'll Hear It. He raises his voice immediately - and he hates that he does it.

A more lighthearted hc that I hold on to dearly: literally so funny when he wants. Sarcasm master but also knows how to deliver a joke with the good tone and a completely unfazed expression. He's a great actor and he's hilarious.

No culinary taste or talent at all but he just straight up doesn't bother trying. Could eat military rations every day.

He's naturally bossy as hell. So, when Ghost has a soft spot for someone, you can see it immediately because he's noticeably Less Bossy. He's the guy who literally cannot hide his soft spots.

His trust is hard earned but runs deep. He absolutely loves his team. He's a reliable friend, colleague, teammate, just watch your damn step because he's loyal, but unforgiving.

Harbours respect for anyone outright. Never underestimates or belittles anyone except for his hierarchy. (Surprising, isn't it.)

He falls asleep easily in the evening… because he's exhausted. His days are spent observing things, shaping his actions along as to know exactly what are their consequences, even for something as minor as like, making food. It's the OCD baby. And it fucking drains you.

He likes when people are defiant. He takes an almost immediate liking to people who think maybe a bit too independentely for the military, in fact.

Weirdly enough, doesn't really like animals. Not the dog person you'd expect him to be.

Bonus: I don't really have a face hc for him. To me he is just his balaclava lol. But I imagine him with dark hair + dark eyes, looking like a regular bloke, not particularly handsome or unique looking. five o'clock shadow, a couple acne scars and, in fact, very kind eyes. Also tall (6'3/193cm) and lanky. [EDIT post-MWII: this one aged terribly but I am in fact 100% adopting his new looks]

#also imo soft and gritty nitty can cohabit and no one should feel ashamed for having like #wholesome hcs or stories. To me that's the magic of fandoms #I do enjoy irredeemable bastards but I reckon you'll see I have a SOFT spot for ghost.#ask #headcanons #ghost #call of duty

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toesucker416 · 1 year ago

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So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I'm posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it's not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to fucking go.

So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons.

"If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them.

"Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question.

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY.

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

Hey reply with your least favorite animal THAT IS NOT AN INSECT

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creweemmaeec11 · 4 years ago

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My favourite prompts:

A list of my favourite prompts that I’ve posted in the past, all curated into a huge list just for you guys!

Finally, the day has come. The villain is thought to be dead. The hero has won.

Until suddenly the hero learns the villain left them EVERYTHING in their will. Made them the owner and operator of all their illegal business.

Obviously, the hero plans to shut everything down immediately. But they quickly realize just how many people the villain employed… how many family’s they fed…

“You kissed me,”

“I did… and?”

“What-!? What do you mean and!?,”

“What more do you want?”

“An explanation would be a good start!”

“…or I could just do it again…”

*other person turns bright red,*

“Or… or that, I suppose,”

“What the hell are you doing here!?”

“I think the better question would be what in the hell are you wearing,” the villain replied, amusement clear on their face, like they were struggling to keep from laughing.

“What- it’s-” the hero blushed, remembering what they were wearing, “their pajamas! What are you-!”

“Oh my god…” the villain replied, like they were struggling to come to terms with what they were seeing, “the hero of the city not only own, but wears a onesie,”

“Excuse me!” The hero snapped in defence, “They’re comfortable!”

“They? You have more??”

“I gotta say hero,” The villain mused as they casually moved toward the cell bars, “I’ve been called many things in my life: monster, villain, outcast, loser, scoundrel,” they tilted their head, examining the hero before them, “but ‘our last hope?’” *clicks tongue* “that’s a first,”

You live in a world where anyone born with superpowers must become a super hero. It doesn’t matter what the power is, or how small it is, it is mandatory. It was deemed that having anyone with superpowers work alongside regular people was “unsafe” and “unfair.” Every year, dozens of superhero’s with powers useless for fighting are killed. You’ve managed to make it this long with nobody finding out you have a superpower. But how much longer can you hide in plain sight?

The city’s villain mysteriously disappears and hasnt been seen in a week. The people are celebrating, but the hero is worried. What if the villain is planning something big? Determined to stop whatever evil plan is brewing, the hero tracks the villain down, but they dont find what they expected. Instead of evil plotting, the villain:

-Has been taking care of a sick pet -Come down with the flu -Been helping arrange a friends wedding -Found out they were pregnant -Is getting married themselves -Mourning the death of a loved one -Has adopted a young pet and been occupied taking care of them -Has been helping one of their lackeys who’s in a desperate situation -Has been feeding the homeless and offering blankets

You’re the most wanted villain by all highest ranking authorities, but all the heros “just can’t seem to catch you” (they always let you get away) because all your crimes are things like stealing expensive medication and then donating it to hospitals, robbing toy stores and donating to orphanages, robbing banks and giving to charity, robbing grocery stores and feeding the homeless, ect

A hero/villain with the power to materialize their own tattoos. Got a wrench tattoo? Now you’ve got a wrench. Got a tattoo of wings? A bomb? A get away car? Well…

Dragon tattoos have always been popular, havent they?

Write about a genius inventor villain who, while watching the news, learns about a sick child in hospital doctors arnt sure they can cure. The villain realizes something theyve invented could cure the child. Now the hard part is convincing them to let the villain help.

The villain starts to notice the hero is feeling more down the usual, so they start leaving the hero little notes to cheer them up. All is going well until the hero figures out who is sending them.

In a world of magic users where everyone is divided into the 6 eye colours, and the colour of your eyes represents what your powers are. Each colour has an elemental power, can talk to a certain type of creature(Invertebrates, fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds, mammals), and has 3 other powers. For example, blue eyes control water, can commune with fish, etc. Everyone in the world has either red, orange, yellow, green, blue or purple eyes. Except for you, you were born with black eyes. Everyone is afraid of what your powers will be, but they should be more worried about the kind of creatures you can talk to…

A hero and a villain (and maybe their sidekicks, up to you) trapped in a haunted house or haunted location.

-One is scared so the other comforts them. They are both scared but trying to act like they aren’t. -One doesn’t believe in ghosts, and the other has the power to communicate with them or see them. -Ghosts aren’t real, but one continues to try and freak the other out, who claims they aren’t scared. -Ghost wingman. I need’ d say no more -One gets possessed, so the other has to do the whole ‘kiss to break a curse’ thing to bring them out of it. -The classic Person A thinks ghosts aren’t real so they prank Person B to scare them. Then shit gets real, but person B doesn’t believe person A, thinking its just another prank.

“I trusted you! You promised!”

“I kept my promise! I got you your results! Don’t question my methods from a top that high moral horse or yours, especially when the only reason you made a deal with me in the first place was because you were too much of a coward to do what needed to be done!”

The local wildfire has been growing out of control, forcing the city to have to evacuate. Suddenly, the villain with water powers shows up to lend a hand to fire fighters.

“Tell me hero,” the villain spoke, chains jangling from where they hung on the villains wrists as they walked up to the bars of the jail cell, “If you wanted to skip a press conference, could you?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re sisters getting married, but your needed for a big event at the hero academy that day. Would you be allowed to attend the wedding? What about if your brother stole a pack of gum. Could you let it slide? Not would you, but could you?”

The hero paused. Could they? They had responsibilities! They had commitments to the city, and to the serving of justice!

The villain laughed at the heros silence, “I may be in jail, but you’re more chained then I’ll ever be,”

“So tell me,” the villain drawled, dragging a finger across the heros skin, making them shiver, “what changed your mind?”

Hero discovers the villain has a day job. It isnt at all what they expected. (Day care, animal shelter, etc)

“What are you going to do if you beat me, and suddenly the city dosent need a hero? What are you going to do if you get hurt and can no longer fight, and the city forgets about you just like all the heros before you? Who will you be when your legacy crumbles under the weight of all those who follow? Will you take up knitting?”

The hero stared unblinking and frozen as the villain took a step forward.

“Sure, your a hero. But what are you without that?”

The villain took another step forward.

“Your nothing, heroism is all you have. That pathetic title you curl up to every night. But without it?” They looked the hero up and down, “Absolutely nothing…”

A villain retires from villainy and gets plastic surgery (or simply never showed their face) so they can live a normal life without being recognized. While living their new life, they bump into the hero, and the two start falling for eachother. But the villain is terrified of the hero finding out the truth

The hero slammed their front door as quickly as they could, eyes wide, heart pounding.

The villain. The villain was outside their door.

“Well that was rude,”

A hero with magic powers, in a world where magic is unheard of. They have always kept their powers a secret, fearing they would be shunned, or tested on. They never use their powers in battle.

One day, while practicing their magic alone in the woods, the villain appears out of nowhere.

Before the hero can explain, the villain asks, “you have powers too?”

A hero dies. Or at least, they think they do. The next thing they know they wake up at their own funeral. And the only person there? Is the villain.

“The worst part, is you had the nerve to call it love”

#hero x villain #prompts #prompt #writing prompt #writing prompts #story prompt #fic prompts #hero x villain prompts #hero x villain prompt

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pearlplusau · 4 years ago

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Attack of the Multiverse!! (Pink Pearl edition)

“Presenting....a new writing series! Here’s the preview of the entire story! Enjoy and thanks for reading in advance!”

*que intense chase track

A pink pearl in her latest crystal gem form, was blindly running into the darkened beach, where everything was pitch black. She couldn’t see the water, she couldn't see the sand, heck, she couldn’t even see the giant temple that should be located somewhere in front of her without any light source!

She couldn’t remember how long she ran, but it was more than her physic could take. As she slowed down, she huffed and puffed, almost wheezing from all the running.

But her break was cut short when-

A sound of blast came from somewhere behind her, controlling whatever it touched as the torn objects such as floor boards, trash cans, and giant chunks of earth levitating around the enemy figure.

As Coral raced towards the temple, which was finally visible from the bright aura of the floating gem, another figure appeared, stretching out her ballerina leg and tripped the poor pink gem.

“Ooof-“ she exclaimed as she faceplanted into the sand.

As Coral lifted her head, she saw two figures, no wait…two identical figures!

The closest figure wore the outfit she had before the rebellion, her first ever pearl form, except it's all nastified, torned up and darkened, as if someone drenched her with the colour schemes of an arch villain. Instead of buns for her hair, two shaggy and messy side ponytails wildly danced under the blowing night wind. Under her eyes was a trail of dark ink, making her look more horrifying than she could ever imagine! (She’s abandoned pearl, but let’s go with Crazy)

The other figure looked like the first figure, except she was completely greyscaled. Her entire body radiated absolutely no colour, just the dreadful shades of black and white! Her hair, too, was in a complete mess, but in a mad scientist style, where her hair looked like it was electrocuted, but more neatly and less frizzy. Anger was radiated from her twitching eye and her frozen W pose, the twitching eye was glowing with power, as if it’s holding back the power with what’s happening next!

The two of them both bore a damaged right eye, but resembled no difference to each other, they even look like-

Coral gasped, “No way! You’re…me?” as she pointed to the two Pink pearls, getting more and more confused.

“That’s right!” Crazy Pearl spoke with a raspy voice and some crazy in her eyes. “And now that we finally got you, we’ll take our sweet time to DESTROY YOU!!”

The pearl brought out a wand from her gem, and it immediately extended and sprung into a deadly, pink, glowing rejuvenator. “Once you’re rejuvenated, you can join my little army, and we’ll destroy the worlds together! Mwahhahahhahahahaha!!”

Coral was only able to whimper out, “worlds?” as the crazy gem wasted no time and brought down her pink glowing scythe!

As Coral braced for rejuvenation, a pink ribbon lashed out and gripped on Crazy pearl’s arm. The scythe was frozen in place, but it was flung aside as Crazy was yanked out of her spot! As the ribbon retreated, another figure slowly came out of its hiding.

“You won’t be destroying anything once I’m done with you!” It’s the same voice as Coral herself, but more confident and sure. The figure had Coral’s face, her hair, her gift from Pink diamond. The more obvious significance was the green dress and the placement of the gem on her forehead. The gem in green shouted, “Earl! You take that freak while I take care of crazy here!”

As soon as she ordered, the sound of a gem retrieving their weapon echoed, “SHING!” with the sound of pistol fire not long after!

Bullets were shot, all flying towards freak pearl, but a metal trash can flew out of nowhere and acted as a shield against the attack.

Coral saw the shooter come out with angered expression, as if she was annoyed of the constant blockage of her attacks. The shooter looked almost exactly like freak pearl, the only difference was one of them is a bleached floating freak while the other wore a long sleeved silk shirt with a diamond shaped cut around her gem, bright pink shorts with huge pink splatters and spots all over her body. Her grey hair buns had little strays of hair at the end, with far less cracks on her face. Earl also had the same cracked eye, but she’s looking a lot less freaky than her counterpart.

As the two pearls fought as ballerinas, assassins and shooters simultaneously, the confident pearl grabbed on to Coral and ordered, “Come on! We need to get out of here! That ribbon wont hold her for long!!”

The said ribbon was wrapping up crazy pearl with a neat bow on top, however, she looked like she could break free any moment!

“Hurry!” Coral got up and they both went to help Earl. The confident pearl pointed to the levitating gem and ordered, “Use your lance and take her down!”

“What!?” Coral questioned in surprise, “isn’t that a bit too much?”

“Trust me, it's not!”

Coral summoned and gripped her lance, aimed at the freaky pearl and threw.

The weapon was barely slapped away with the metal trash can, but that little distraction was able to give Earl the chance to finally strike and take her down!

Earl leaped into the air and performed a 10/10 somersault, she gracefully kicked freak pearl as far as she could! “Smack!”

The knocked pearl made no sound, just the sound of her SPLASH landing into the dark ocean.

Coral immediately took the chance and demanded answers from the two, “Can someone explain what is going on!?”

She looked at Earl, who, instead of speaking, did hand gestures that were clearly sign language, but Coral didn’t get the chance to study them unfortunately…

Confident pink pearl translated, “She’s saying we don’t have much time! Come one, this way!” she pointed to the side of the crystal gem temple. “There's a portal there that should lead us straight to her!”

Coral demanded as they ran, “Her who?!?”

“Coral, do you believe in alternate universes?!” Confident pearl asked.

“I do now! Seeing all of you here! Being literally alternate versions of…ME!”

“Well actually, we’re all alternative versions of the OG Pink Pearl, The original! I’m from a diamond swap universe where White Diamond and Pink diamond swapped places, I’m one of original crystal gems, without White diamonds old pearl.” C!Pearl said as Earl nodded at the side.

Earl made more hand gestures to say something, pointing to herself along with more sign language. C!Pearl translated, “That’s Earl, she’s from another timeline where she… you know what, it’s a long story, all you need to know is that we can trust her!”

“But what about the two we just fought?” Coral demanded.

“Those two? I call them freaky and crazy! They’ve been after us ever since we started portal jumping! I’m not sure where they’re from, but I’m pretty sure Crazy is from an AU where SHE was abandoned in Pink diamond’s garden instead of Spinel! As for freak pearl, really not sure here. Maybe she’s an interpretation of how powerful she could get under a diamond’s complete influence and power?”

Coral gave another quick question, “How do we know who the original Pink pearl is if we’re all from different timelines?”

“Simple,” C!Pearl said, “she’s the pinkpearl that followed the Canon timeline, where she got controlled by White Diamond and spent 6000 years as her mindless servant! Us, however, were created to avoid that specific timeline, so she’s the root of all Pink Pearl. The most important thing to do right now is to look for the first Pink Pearl!! She’s the only one that can help us get deal with our...situation right now.”

“How are we gonna get there with these two on our tail!??” Coral said as she notices more rubble floating behind her as well as a maniacal laugh echoing louder and louder!

“All we need is to get through that portal! Those two wont be able to catch up! Come one!”

The portal, swirling in pink and white star dust, finally became visible behind one of the temple palms. Within the right distance, all three pearls leaped into the portal as it closed behind them!

Shooooofwop!

End of part ???

Multiverse Pink pearl series! Next chapter coming in-

The two rogue pink pearls stopped their tracks when they found...no portal, nor any of the pearls they were fighting.

The two antagonists turned to the camera, made little chuckles and pointed at you, the reader. Crazy teased, “Look what we got here freak pearl, someone that thinks this ISNT an April Fool’s special.”

Freak pearl rotated her floating junk around her until they got to a trash can. She set the trash can on the sand and tapped three times.

Knock

There was a moment of silence and snoring, sounds like someone fell asleep.

Crazy summoned a speaker phone from her gem, placed it at the side of the can, and screamed, “HEY PEARLPLUSAU WRITER! ITS YOUR QUE!”

The writer groggily woke up rubbing his eyes, “Yawnnnn….”

He fell off into the sand.

“Heyyy there fellow readers, yes this IS an April fool’s special, a friend of mine was curious if i would write one of these and sure enough, once the idea got developed, i got straight to the writing process.”

“What was surprising is using us AU characters into his little joke writing, where are the credits you punk?!” Crazy asked in a rather annoyed tone.

"Oh that? ” The writer continued," Credits of the characters are below! You can see the images, as well as the title of the AUs. Some of the characters are linked back to the creators tumblr account, while other creators who dont have tumblr accounts are linked to original posts, like from Instagram!! ”

Freak pearl snapped her fingers for the writer’s attention and pointed to herself, asking for her origin.

“Oh freak pearl? I just thought it would be cool if there’s more than one antagonist for this special, so i kinda created you myself. The idea was, how dangerous can pinkpearl be with a diamond’s ability, and there you are! Telekinesis and mega white laser beams! Pretty cool huh?”

Freak pearl did not respond...well.

“Anyways,” the writer proceeded, “writing this was a pretty fun 1.5 hours of the time i have, not including reviewing and editing tho. If theres anyone out there that wishes to continue the story in their own way, be my guest. Just let me know so i can read it myself lol, im very interested in your take of the situation! “

April fools! And thanks for reading!

Characters (even though they’re not drawn)

Coral/Pink pearl from Pearlplusau - Original design by Tripixle!!

Crystal gem Pink pearl from Diamond swap au - Credit to @dreambigstars

Earl from WD steven au - AU character from @ask-whitepearl-and-steven

Crazy pearl (Despair pink pearl), Design from Shrimp.face (Link to their post)

Freak Pearl, no specific au named, nor from any creator. So i guess she’s my AU character?

A/N: Hope you guys had fun reading as much as i had fun writing it!

Also the real new chapter coming in probs two weeks from now.

Slightly unrelated, there might not be as much visuals as there was last chapter. The drawing pen is a bit busted.

Till then! Bye!

#suau #pinkpearl #Coral #WD!steven #Spinelpinkpearlswap #diamondswap #stevenuniverse #ohwait #iforgotsmth #april fools #happyapril1st

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some-stars · 4 years ago

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Fic writer questionnaire! Tagged by @deputychairman, thank you!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

65....just waiting for 69 so i can celebrate

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

288,609

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

okay, so, there's a lot so we're gonna collapse some. So, 16: The Witcher (games and show), Supernatural, Dark Angel, Glee, Stargate (both SG1 and SGA), MCU, Vampire Diaries, Teen Wolf, due South, DC (comics and movies), House of Leaves, Sense8, Harry Potter, Les Miserables (book), Doctor Who, and X-Men movies. Oh, and I wrote a lot of NSYNC RPF back in the day but you will never see it. (Unless you literally read it back then and remember one and want to reread it, I’m not ashamed of them if you were also in the pit with me. If that is the case feel free to ask.)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all some children do is work: this one surprised me, i did NOT think there was this kind of appetite for almost-gen turned-into-a-kid fic, but i do really like the fic itself so i'm contented with its acclaim

method: i mean, it's fake dating, written back when there wasn't much non-modern-AU fake dating in witcher fandom (possibly there still isn't?) so, not surprised

Emergency Pants: this is the one that the Claw chose back in 2012 bc i had written very pornographic tony/bruce about a month after Avengers came out so there was a big appetite for it. i don't much care for it these days except i do still think the tony voice is good

warm you like the sunshine: deeply unsurprised this one is popular (and it's one of my own fics that i reread a lot), it's extremely tender BDSM with a juggernaut pairing, that gets the readers

As often as from thee I go: honestly kinda surprised about this one, which is just a 2500 word confection i wrote for my own satisfaction, but it does have explicit sex and jaskier crying about his feelings so maybe it makes sense

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I almost always do, but usually just with "Thanks!" unless it's a detailed or lengthy comment.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

"Long black night, morning frost" (Les Miserables) for absolute certain. One of the very few fics I've written with an outright unhappy and pessimistic ending (although I found it very cathartic to write). For Witcher fics, "Kind" and "go ask alice" are about as sad as I get.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Almost all of them, honestly. There's a point in happiness of endings where you really can't distinguish degrees. Probably the most--not saccharine, but distinctly Happy Ending-ish is either "Water like a stone" or "Darling, if you only knew," which to my eternal shame are both Glee fics. In terms of Witcher fics...it's still hard to pick! I think the kidfic trilogy ended very, very happily; I think "If you live through this with me" ended TOO happily.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

I do not, and I don't read them, at least not since the days of the late 90s/early 2000s when I once read a really good Highlander/X-Files crossover (oh, and Martha's cosmic horror fic where Stargate and Angel and I think something else all cross over but it feels quite natural and right). I don't like fusions, either, most of the time.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Never! In 20 years! I've been extremely lucky.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

ahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

yes...yes you could say i write smut. on occasion. you know, when the urge comes on me. i write mostly kink or at least kink-adjacent fic, but i've done some vanilla scenes too, and i write m/m and m/f and (occasionally) f/f. fun fact, my only rimming scene to date was in a f/f/f threesome!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think so? I can't remember, honestly, which sounds dreadful but like...I don't READ the translation, because I am sadly monolingual, but I get a burst of delight when someone asks to do it (or to make a podfic).

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have tried--me and a friend once got like 12k deep into a co-written Tiger and Bunny fic--but it doesn't really work out for me. I am a massive control freak when it comes to writing and absolutely miserable to work with. (Although I wasn't so bad back when we wrote the T&B fic, we just sort of never got around to finishing it. Which is sad, because it was GREAT.)

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

Max/Alec from Dark Angel. I shipped it when I only started watching DA for Jensen's episodes, I shipped it when I fell in love with Max, I shipped it when I frantically hand-wrote notes about the fic I wanted to write, I ship it right now as I'm typing, I will ship it in my grave. Also it's not a het ship bc neither of them are heterosexual, thank you very much.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I only post finished fics, but in terms of things I haven't posted, I still think my "For A Good Time Call" fem!jaskier/yennefer(/geralt) AU would have been truly incredible. If you haven't watched that movie go watch it immediately so you can share this beautiful idea with me.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Ohhh, this and the next one are hard, because I truly don't know. Well, besides "porn." I am genuinely good at porn, which is HILARIOUS considering how many more sex scenes I've written than participated in. But overall, I have so much angst and neurosis and tenuous self-worth tied up in writing, I'm a very bad judge of my own skills. Also, it depends on the fandom! In some fandoms I'm good at dialogue, in others not so much. In some fandoms I'm good at pastiching the tone of the source and in others...Not So Much.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

If I had to pick a weakness, though, I'd say concrete imagery/detail. Like, the things that characters are physically doing either out of emotional reaction or just, they're doing something in that scene. Dialogue is usually easier (not sure if it comes out better, but it's easier).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I used to be mildly annoyed at it but! Now! On AO3! You can put a footnote by the French or whatever, so the reader can jump down to read a translation and then jump right back up. I now feel that if you choose to include dialogue (or any words) in another language from the rest of the story, this is the only acceptable method.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I remember vaguely in 1996 or so writing a couple pages of Kit whump for the Young Wizards books. I wrote some execrable nonsense in X-Files, but in my defense I had just turned 13. I don't THINK I wrote anything for Star Trek, which was my first fandom. Oh, and I attempted to write fic for Homicide, which I watched in 7th and 8th grade and lied about my age to get onto the good mailing lists (they were actually the bad, racist mailing lists, I would later realize, but again I was 13).

20) What's your favorite fic you've written?

Sorry to disappoint anyone who follows me for Witcher content, but it's either "The absolute absurdity of end-series items" (House of Leaves) or "A quite unlosable game" (Dark Angel). They are both Big Idea fics, and I feel like in both of them I got the Idea across brilliantly, and I'm truly proud of them and think they're the best things I've ever made. (In terms of Witcher fic, it's the kidfic trilogy for sure.)

I am not going to tag anyone because that always makes me mildly anxious, but if you read this and you want to do it you can say you were tagged by me! :D? :D?

#meme

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apathy-tied-in-knots · 7 months ago

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[copypasta] Why I hate the Sunfish

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

im enjoying being a bitch today im having a good time. give me something else to get mad about

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sinkix · 5 years ago

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♡ Haikyuu!!│Boys as your Roommate HC’s Pt.2│Ft. Kuroo, Bokuto, Kenma & Kageyama ♡

Since the last one did well I decided to do another 2am shit-post consisting of my bby HQ bois as your roommate so I’m v sorry if it’s messy and seems like rambling but honestly what did u expect. <(￣︶￣)> The more I write these the more I just want to summon satan and make them come to life man I love them sm.

You can find Pt. 1 here

E N J O Y ~ <3

◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒

Kuroo:

So. Damn. Annoying

But in like, the best way possible??

Constantly teases and irritates you while cooking or when it’s your turn to do the chores.

“(Y/N)-kuuun I think you missed a spot”

Proceeds to show swabbed finger with the tiniest speck of dust on it with the biggest shit eating grin he can muster

You have constant competitions who can clean more thoroughly and rip into each other as a result.

I mean there’s worse things to compete over I suppose??

He likes to make it a habit of waking you up by throwing his HUGE ASS BODY ON TO THE BED IF YOU OVERSLEEP.

WHOLE BED JUST CREAKS AND DIPS UNDER HIS WEIGHT.

Wraps his arm around you and gives amazing cuddles tho so its worth it

Borderline suffocating you though just so you get up.

Also, don’t wake Kuroo when he’s had only a few hours rest

just, don’t. If you value your safety.

Last time you tried to haul him out of bed in this state he threw a pillow at you and BITCH WENT TO GRAB THE ALARM CLOCK NEXT but u dashed out the room before he could lob it.

Speaking of which, pillow fights.

so many.

Y’all are always throwing random stuff at each other just to startle one another

You both make a conscious effort NOT to aim for the head though so I guess its ok???

The aroma of coffee always greets you in the morning and it’s become hella comforting since you’ve just come to associate that smell with him.

His bed head is 1000x more extreme in the morning which you tease him relentlessly for and def has bags under his eyes but it looks cute.

sleep deprivation but make it chic.

He is much more of a night owl i’m making it canon idc - however usually has to sleep early due to club activities starting first thing in the morning.

He wakes up especially early because he knows he not only has to haul himself up at an ungodly hour but Kenma as well since he NEVER gets up on time otherwise.

Kenma lives a few blocks down from you guys and you often kick it as a three.

Sometimes he stays over just to save the extra effort of Kuroo going to his place.

It’s always v chill with the three of you as you get on really well and just play mario kart till 2am.

which again, big mistake. They end up nearly being late to practise so it’s kinda counter productive lmao

worth it though.

Kuroo is a salty loser js and will definitely wave his arms in front of you or shove his ass in your face to block the screen so he can overtake you.

Sometimes forces you to go on early morning runs with him but it’s actually really nice since you watch the sunrise together while sitting for a water break in an empty field

Almost poetic if it wasn’t for the constant teasing and bickering like an old married couple.

Kenma is VERY thankful you have become his new victim for those morning run routines.

Bokuto:

SCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOPS EVERY DAY

MY GOD

Actually pretty quiet in the morning?? Like the lil owl is just waking up so he usually just mumbles a good-morning and rubs his eyes its so damn cute

Usually pretty good about getting up on time but some days he needs a kick up the backside to get him out of bed.

He fully made you drag him out of the covers once before he was even willing to entertain the idea of getting up.

those 30 seconds felt like a 30 minute workout since he is so HEAVY.

I feel sorry for the neighbours on that day tbh

“Bokuto-san wake up.”

“NNNgg-aaagGGHHHHH AGGAAASHIII”

“It’s (Y/N) you dumbass G E T U P”

You aren’t safe for long though because ONCE HE’S AWAKE HOMEBOY IS RARING TO GO.

Frequently makes y’all pancakes for breakfast with a frilly pink ‘best chef’ apron on and it’s fucking hysterical.

actually has several aprons and one of them has a stock image of abs printed onto the front.

Pancakes is the only thing Bokuto is competent at so don’t expect anything else without the kitchen combusting

His pancakes are SO damn good tho like bitch who taught you to flip like dat.

Does a lil shimmy with his body and throws it back each time he flips so it basically aggregates as a performance too since hes so extra

One time the pancake landed on the floor and he was in emo mode for a whole day LMAOOO

boy was spiking while mourning the fallen soldier.

Akaashi was so confused as to why he walked into practise in such a solemn mood.

had to stifle his laughter once you told him the reason.

For some reason you have this tradition to play board games on a Friday night

Obvs you have to let him win and be a cocky ass bc otherwise he will be sad until the next morning.

sis will be in a slump while brushing his teeth over losing a game of monopoly.

Doesn’t expect you to come to practise with him but is always grinning like a dork the whole way there when you accompany him.

His game is always A1 on those days so Akaashi is eternally grateful.

Often tries to make you go to the gym with him SINCE Y’ALL BEST BELIEVE BOKUTO BABY AIN’T SKIPPIN LEG DAY.

Actually a really good workout partner though, he’s so hype and encouraging.

Grocery shopping is a nightmare, y’all come back with 3x as much as what was on the list while Bokuto just looks really sheepish and guilty like a dog who shredded up the sofa.

Kageyama:

Your conversations are very minimal at first until he adjusts to living with you.

Hella private with his living space and his bedroom

You always suspected he’s got some like weird alien cult meeting from Fiji going on in there with how shady he acts sometimes.

After a while though he’s pretty chill and doesn’t mind TOO much when you invade his personal space or go through his stuff.

I’d still be careful though an angry Kags is not a pleasant one.

He’s a minimalist, so if you ever get decorating done it’s usually you that takes the reigns since as long as it’s got a roof, a stove, a bathroom and a bed he could literally not give a fuck.

Unexpectedly easy to please over the smallest things, make a meal for him after a long day of practise and it’ll be hard for him to contain an appreciative smile.

Do NOT pull him up on it though bc he will get defensive

just embrace it bro you won’t see it often.

V good at getting up on time and hella quiet in the morning when going about his routine, it’s easy to forget he’s in the house a times so at least he’s considerate.

Honestly doesn’t care whether you come to practise or not it makes no difference to him. Though the closer you both get he will sometimes wait for the moment you walk through the door and mentally slap himself for doing so.

Sometimes plays music in his room but it’s always really quiet and hard to decipher unless you press your ear up against the door.

The boi plays some BOPS though which is really surprising???

Usually takes charge of stuff like grocery shopping, cleaning etc.

Control freak™️ here to assist your household services.

He’s pretty dense though with these matters and needs some guidance at times lmao

Will not get the item on your list unless you CLEARLY SPECIFY AND INCLUDE THE WHOLE DAMN TITLE OF THE ITEM

You’re surprised he doesn’t request you illustrate the fucking bar code.

In the end you sometimes end up caving and just either going with him or going in his place.

Once he warms up to you y’all like cracking little jokes at each other and pulling one another’s leg.

if you get up even the slightest bit late he’ll just throw a lil “good afternoon” with a smirk on his face.

Sometimes he will come and chill with you on the couch to binge watch shows and it’s just a really relaxed atmosphere.

has really good taste in movies and series??

Honestly just a hella respectful roommate as long as you respect him and his privacy in return.

You once stuck his knee-pads in the washing machine on a high temp and they came out ready to fit a 6 year old.

You still suspect he holds a grudge to this day.

He also tried to give them to Hinata and never have you seen him more genuinely offended lmao.

Kenma:

The pair of you always end up oversleeping and it’s a genuine problem ur the definition of a disaster duo.

If it wasn’t for Kuroo strolling into your sleeping quarters most mornings you guys would sleep till the suns ready to set again.

Bless up Kuroo.

Constant video game marathons and y’all always compete to top each others time

It’s basically just the speed-run side of YouTube but under one roof.

Cannot and will not cook he is too LAZY for that.

Only thing he will do is stick an apple pie in the oven.

He’s courteous though he leaves you like,,, a 1/8th slice

smh.

You mostly get take-out or you’re the one that ends up cooking.

Veeryyyyy quiet, only noise in the household is the occasional snicker or lil conversation.

he has such a soothing voice hnnnnnnnnnggggg

The only time it’s remotely loud is when you play video games but even then the volume is quite low.

You usually end up crashing in his room from playing games till the crack of dawn and Kuroo frequently scolds the two of you.

you don’t listen though lmao.

For some reason you both end up in a hugging position when you wake up and neither of you have addressed it.

Except for the sus side eye look Kuroo gives the pair of you when he finds you like this.

He knows if he mentions it you’ll both infiltrate his apartment and choke him out with a console cable lololol.

You order most of your groceries online bc Kenma’s social anxiety will skyrocket and not allow him to be in a store full of more than 10 people, poor bby.

It works out for you too since why tf go there when you can have it delivered to your door.

You often binge watch anime together and he has GREAT taste mind you.

You made him watch a romance anime once and he secretly enjoyed it.

Since then he will very awkwardly request to watch them occasionally and you can’t help but smile.

The only time you clean is when you have to, like bins brimming with trash before you decide to take them out.

You accidentally broke his fav controller once and he didn’t talk to you for a week LMAO.

Still handed you one to play split-screen though so you knew he wasn’t entirely resentful.

#hq #haikyuu #hq headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #kenma kozume #kageyama tobio #kuroo tetsurō #bokuto kotaro #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #karasuno #nekoma #fukurodani

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lunetheaveragefan · 4 years ago

Text

‘one day...’

Hey y’all! This chapter was supposed to be posted last Monday but last week was so busy for me and I forgot. So finally, here is chapter 7! Chapter 8 was supposed to be posted next week, but I’m going to continue with my typical two week schedule so I don’t forget again! Hope you enjoy!

A Sander Sides high school AU

Pairing: Prinxiety and some background Logicality

Summary: Virgil is used to being alone. He only has one friend, Logan. But when Logan makes a new friend, things begin to change as two more join their group. Roman, a boisterous theater kid, seems determined to destroy Virgil’s lonely, average life. How much will Virgil’s life change?

Warnings: swearing; brief mention of a panic attack; eating; if you notice anything else, let me know!

Word Count: 2557 words

-------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER SEVEN

Virgil exits the auditorium with Patton and Logan, grinning.

“He did so good!” Patton exclaims. Before either of the others have a chance to respond, Patton continues, “It was like he was a completely different person! Here, let’s go congratulate him!” Virgil and Logan follow Patton down a few crowded hallways, weaving in and out of people talking to other members of the cast.

“Roman!” Patton yells, waving his arms. Virgil catches sight of Roman, stepping out of a set of heavy doors. Behind him, it’s dark, but Virgil can make out a folding table and the edges of black curtains. Backstage. Then, a group of people walk in front of them, and Virgil loses sight of Roman.

Without hesitation, Patton grabs Logan’s hand and begins to shove people aside, muttering a few cheerful ‘Excuse me’s and ‘Sorry’s. Before Virgil has a chance to get a hold of Logan, they’re lost in the crowd.

Well, what the heck do I do now? Virgil wonders, chuckling softly. A hand brushes his arm at the same time a voice says, “Hey. Where are the others?”

After seeing who it is, Virgil laughs and answers, “They went to look for you.” Roman slaps his forehead with his palm, uttering a sound that’s half-sigh, half-laugh. He rises up to his toes, straining to look over people’s heads.

“This same goddamn thing happens every year. You would think we’d learn by now.” Roman looks back down at Virgil, and at the very second he does, Virgil sees Patton pop up above the rest of the crowd. Pointing so Roman will see, Virgil waves his other hand to catch Patton’s attention. It works, and Roman grabs Virgil’s hand, causing his heart to skip a beat.

After a lot of pushing and shoving, the two of them reach Patton and Logan, standing pressed up against the wall next to a chair. So that’s how Patton got so tall all of a sudden. The second Patton sees them, he starts to gush about the performance.

“That was so good, Roman!” Patton exclaims clapping his hands in glee. He bounces on the balls of his feet, a wide smile spread across his face. “We all loved it and we’re so proud of you and it sounded so good and I think Virgil might’ve even been crying—” Virgil blushes when Roman looks at him with a shocked expression—“I’m not sure I couldn’t see through my own tears. But for real it was so good, like, I can’t even believe it was put on by high schoolers—” Logan places a hand on Patton’s shoulder. The action confirms to Virgil that Logan definitely has some sort of crush on Patton; Logan never really touches anyone in any way, with the occasional exception of Virgil.

“Sorry,” Patton says, grinning sheepishly. Roman chuckles and looks at Patton, appreciation covering his face.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you came. All of you.” Roman’s smile at him, although no more than a few seconds, makes butterflies erupt in Virgil’s stomach. He smiles back hesitantly, an intense debate going on in his head.

C’mon, tell him how much you liked it! one side says.

No! He won’t think it’s sincere. He’ll just figure you’re copying Patton, the other says back.

Maybe he will take it seriously! Maybe then you’ll have a better chance with him!

Better chance? You don’t actually like him, do you?

Of course he does! The butterflies, dreams, that’s the only logical conclusion!

Shut up, Virgil interrupts. I’ll tell him good job, but as a friend. Because I don’t like him. He’s still Roman Princeford. Have you all forgotten what happened freshman year? That ends the argument in its tracks. He gathers his courage, a rolling knot of apprehension twisting in his stomach.

“Yeah, it was really good, Roman,” Virgil compliments. “Although, Patton, you didn’t need to freaking snitch on me and how I was crying.” Patton shrugs, like ‘What can you do?’ Virgil chuckles, shaking his head.

“Wait, you were actually crying?” Roman asks. When Virgil turns back to look at Roman, he bursts out laughing at his face. It’s filled with complete and utter shock, eyes wide, mouth in a small, disbelieving ‘o’ shape. It seems so much like a face a cartoon character would make that Virgil can’t control his laughter. “What?”

“Your—Your face—” Virgil manages between wheezes. Roman punches Virgil in the arm.

“Stop. That’s not nice.” His words sound angry, but he’s smiling and his tone — and punch — are light.

“Sorry, sorry,” Virgil says, taking deep breaths to hold the laughter in. “It was just so comically shocked. But yes. I did actually cry. And don’t seem so surprised this time.”

“Honestly, your laugh was more surprising. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like that. It’s a nice sound,” Roman admits, his face filled with something that seems awfully close to adoration. But then he blinks, and his smile is just an ordinary, million-dollar, Roman Princeford smile. It wouldn’t matter if he said it with contempt, because the compliment would’ve still sent a flood of warmth through Virgil. His heart is racing, but this time, not out of panic.

Tearing his eyes away from Roman and trying to inconspicuously grit his teeth, which is no easy feat, Virgil thinks, What is going on? It’s just a compliment. It’s not like you have a crush on him or anything.

“Anyway,” Roman starts, addressing the whole group, “I better go find my parents so they can fawn over me like I’m next Lin-Manuel Miranda or Leslie Odom Jr.” Upon seeing everyone’s blank looks, his eyes widen and he says, “Hamilton stars? Only some of the best singers to ever step foot on Broadway? Voices like goddamn angels who can, for some reason, also rap?” When everyone shakes their head, he sighs. “I swear, you guys must be living under a rock. But anyway, Imma head out. We’ll meet by door 10 at, say, 9:00, for the sleepover?”

Patton and Logan nod their heads and immediately start talking to each other, Patton’s hands moving animatedly.

“Sleepover?” Virgil asks.

“Yeah, Patton and I have a tradition where after every show or any big event with one of our activities, we have a sleepover. Even if it went terribly. He didn’t tell you?” Virgil shakes his head. Roman smiles and continues, “Well, you won’t want to miss it. Door 10 at 9, got it?” Once Virgil gives him confirmation, Roman turns and disappears into the crowd.

Virgil stares after him, a strange feeling welling up inside him. And this time, when the possibility of a crush comes up in his thoughts, he doesn’t dismiss it immediately.

------------------

Virgil sits against Roman’s wall, an excessive amount of pillows behind his back, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, a comparison that Patton has already, unfortunately, made.

“I still cannot comprehend how you possibly require this immense amount of pillows,” Logan persists. He can’t stop marveling over how many pillows Roman has on his bed. It’s about the 4th time he’s mentioned it.

“Logan, dude, just let it go,” Virgil chuckles, throwing the stuffed bear next to him. It hits Logan, who’s sitting on the floor, square in the side of his head. He opens his mouth to protest, but Roman interrupts him.

“Hey, don’t throw King Snuffles. He doesn’t deserve this abuse.” Roman leans over to pick the bear off the floor. Cradling it in his arms, he glares at Virgil.

“You named your bear King Snuffles?” Virgil questions, not all that surprised. Roman gasps and fakes being offended.

“Yes,” he replies, his voice scandalized. “And what the hell of it?” Virgil puts his hands up in surrender.

“Woah. Nothing, I guess, if you’re going to get so defensive about it.” He pulls the blanket, which fell down when he put up his hands, back around him. There’s too much on his head, so it falls in front of his face. Before he can reach up to push it up, a hand does it for him. Roman smiles at him, patting his head after setting the blanket there. Virgil rolls his eyes.

He hopes the yellow-orange LED lights and the shadows from the blanket hide the blush creeping across his cheeks.

“I’m hungry so I’m gonna head and get snacks,” Roman announces, turning and sling his legs over the edge of the bed to stand. Patton bolts to his feet.

“No, no, I’ll do it,” he says, clearly up to something. “And Logan will come with me.”

“Well, actually—” Logan begins. Patton elbows him, and he changes course. “I guess I’m going with.” On their way out, Patton gives Roman an exaggerated wink. Roman, in lieu of a response, gives him an exasperated, I’m-so-done kind of look. Virgil can’t say for sure, but when Roman looks back at him, he thinks Roman’s blushing.

“So…” Roman starts, biting his lip and fidgeting with his fingers. Virgil’s never seen him look this unsure. He’s used to a confident, brash, slightly egotistical Roman. To his surprise, he almost prefers this side of Roman.

Virgil must lose his mind for a little, because he’s definitely not acting like himself when he suggests, “Pillow fight?” and right after, grabs a pillow and flings it at Roman, whacking him in the face.

A borderline-evil smile appears on Romans face as he says, “Oh, you’re on.” Virgil’s senses pick that exact moment to come back, but he can’t take it back now. So he does the only thing he can do: slings the pillow again. Chaos erupts, and a Virgil verse Roman pillow fight begins.

As he throws and gets hit by pillows, Virgil laughs and yells, heart pounding, breathing in quick bursts, but this feels better than panic attacks. Happiness. It’s something Virgil doesn’t feel a whole lot since he spends most of his life stuck in a state of anxiety. It’s nice to be happy again.

He’s so lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice the pillow coming towards him until it slaps him in the face. Virgil falls backwards, head landing, conveniently, on a pillow. He sits up and hits Roman with it, and they’re at it again.

When Roman starts to fall off the bed, Virgil starts to laugh. But then he realizes that somehow, they’d gotten tangled in a blanket, and if Roman is going down, Virgil will too. Shrieking in surprise, Virgil instinctively closes his eyes as he’s yanked off the bed. A pillow hits the back of his head once he’s landed. He laughs and opens his eyes to see Roman directly under him. There’s no doubt about it now; Roman is definitely blushing. For that matter, so is Virgil.

There’s also no way Virgil can deny his crush anymore. But that doesn’t mean he has to deal with it, right? ...Right...

Desperate to put an end to the awkwardness, Virgil stands and offers his hand to Roman. He takes it and pulls himself to his feet. They make eye contact for a second before Virgil looks down at his hands. I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d kissed him.

Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna think about that. Don’t have to deal with that, remember?

“I, uh, wonder what’s taking Patton and Logan so long with the snacks,” Roman finally says, breaking the tense silence. Virgil wants to sigh in relief.

Instead, he simply responds, “I’m not sure. Let’s go see.” They walk to the landing of the stairs. Strangely, there isn’t any sound coming from the kitchen. After walking down the first few steps, Virgil can see into the room. What he sees should come as a surprise, but it really doesn’t.

Apparently, trying to set up Roman and Virgil wasn’t the only reason why Patton wanted Logan to come with. Logan is pressed up against the counter, hand wrapped around Patton’s waist as they kiss. Patton’s palms hold Logan’s face, tilting it down to account for the inches Logan has on him.

Roman, standing right behind Virgil, mutters, “Okay. Okay then.” Virgil starts to laugh but forces himself to stop so Logan or Patton don’t hear. Carefully, they creep back to the bedroom, letting them have their moment.

“So how long do you think that’s been going on for?” Roman asks once they’re back sitting on his bed, Virgil back to being wrapped up in his blanket cocoon again.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Virgil admits. “I kinda figured Logan had a crush on Patton, but I didn’t think they would actually get together, at least not this soon.”

“Yeah ever since their chemistry project, Patton's been crushing on Logan hard. He doesn’t shut up about it. Apparently,” Roman says, leaning in conspiratorially, “they’ve been talking a lot. Patton’s been so tired lately cuz they’re up til, like, 1 AM, video chatting.”

“That is news to me.” Virgil pauses, staring at the door. The two of them sit in silence for a while — comfortable silence — just waiting for Patton and Logan to reappear with the snacks they were supposed to be bringing. After about 10 more minutes, Virgil turns to Roman and asks, “Do you think I should call them up? They’ve been down there for an awful long time.”

“Yeah. The last thing I want is for them to have sex on my kitchen counter.” Virgil winces at the image that appears in his head at the words.

After Roman yells down to Logan and Patton, Virgil says, “Oh, god. Please never say anything like that again. I do not need that image in my head.” Roman laughs.

“An image of what?” Patton asks, walking in the room with Logan not far behind. Thankfully, they had the decency to pretend like they weren’t just making out. But Patton didn’t have so much decency to pretend like he hadn’t been eavesdropping on their conversation. They drop a few Halloween-size, assorted candy bulk bags and two big bowls of popcorn on the bed.

“Nothing,” Virgil answers, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth. “Ooh, Sour Patch Kids.” He grabs four individual bags of them and drops them in his lap.

“Jeez, hungry much?” Roman teases. Virgil flips him off and takes another handful of popcorn. Roman tries to sneakily grab a handful of mini bars from the bag of chocolate-based candy, but Virgil notices.

“Jeez, hypocritical much?” he quips, smirking.

“Oh, fuck off,” Roman responds, sticking his tongue out like a little kid. Virgil sticks his out right back. Patton, who, unsurprisingly, hates swearing, quickly attempts to change the subject.

“Hey, I have an idea! Let’s play Two Truths, One Lie! Then we can get to know each other better!” he suggests. The rest of them agree, and Patton goes first. They take turns, occasionally sharing stories and facts about themselves. And when they get bored of Two Truths, One Lie, they switch to Truth or Dare, and Virgil has to eat a spoonful of mayo.

Patton’s the first to fall asleep. Not long after, around 2 AM, Roman and Logan follow. Virgil sits wrapped in his blanket cocoon in the darkened bedroom. He stares out the window at the dim stars, thinking about how lucky he is. He has three great friends who he can make memories and laugh with.

He turns to look at Roman, asleep on the bed beside him.

“Thank you,” he whispers, “for surprising me.”

#virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #prinxiety #logicality #sanders sides #high school au #fanfiction #fanfic #one day...

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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what are your favorite and least favorite tropes in fanfiction regarding dick grayson?

Most of these I feel are probably a given with me given that I am apparently physically incapable of being subtle and am donating my body to science upon my demise so that this phenomenon may be studied. For Science.

(But also like, the funny thing about me is as much as I rant about a few specific topics its only so frequent because there’s actually only a few specific things I gripe about its just that they’re eeeeeeeeeeverywhere.)

Thus, in no particular order, my least favorite Dick Grayson tropes in fanon and in canon because I can’t read apparently OR AT LEAST I CHOOSE NOT TO FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS EXERCISE, JEEZ, LEAVE ME ALONE....

1) Police officer Dick Grayson

2) Dick hated Jason pre-death and/or judges and is incapable of understanding or empathizing with Jason post-his return

3) Police officer Dick Grayson

4) Dick’s loved ones and friends all making jokes and insults out of the nickname he keeps in memory of his parents and Dick being all like lol this is fine, this isn’t debilitating to my self-esteem at all hahaha oh man that was a good one, I AM a Dickface, you nailed it!

5) Police officer Dick Grayson

6) Dick’s loved ones and friends all punching Dick every time he puts a foot out of place and then everyone both in-universe and in-comments being like NO PROBLEMS DETECTED, and also WOW, CHILL OUT DG, TEMPER MUCH?

7) Police officer Dick Grayson

8) Dick fired Tim and callously kicked him out of his home and the city UMM METHINKS THE FUCK NOT

9) Police officer Dick Grayson

10) Only addressing conflicts between Bruce and Dick when using the framing device “when you think about it though isn’t it still like at least half Dick’s fault that Bruce fired him and kicked him out of his home and hit him and guilt-tripped him into doing what he wanted.”

11) Bonus round - sub Dick Grayson. Like, I barely ever read smut in this fandom because I’m like ‘mmm, no thx and also hard pass’ to rape and incest as fetish or porn, and its like....hard enough to find any mature content with Dick that doesn’t overlap with at least one of those so I just kinda stopped looking ages ago, but even just when glancing my eyes past tags while browsing, I just DON’T GET THIS. I tend to be a variety is the spice of life kinda guy and thus usually can make a case for any character going any which way in any number of things, but this is the one character where I’m like, I do not see any angle in which he has a submissive bone in his body. Yeah he has control freak tendencies and there’s that trope about people who spend most of their time in charge wanting to give up control and let go at times, buuuuuut that only actually works with people who don’t fully WANT to be in charge or control to begin with, not people like Dick whose control freak tendencies IMO are directly born of how rarely he gets to be in control of even his own personal life in the first place. Just doesn’t compute for me.

And in no particular order, top ten most favorite Dick Grayson takes in canon and fanon, with these weirdly just being the direct inverse of things I hate because I mentioned the Not Subtle thing and also the Not Actually As Picky As I Often Come Across As, right?

1) Anything other than police officer Dick Grayson

2) Dick and Jason being bros who get along and confide in each other about the stuff they can’t/won’t share with anyone else because they understand each other in ways most others never will, and also also them having Secret History as Brothers BECAUSE THEY ARE BROTHERS WITH HISTORY BUT I FUCKIN’ DIGRESS

3) A Tim who respects and appreciates Dick’s contributions to his life and happiness and the amount of time and effort Dick has put into being there for him often at his own personal expense, even if there have been like one or two times in the grand scheme of thirty years of comic book content when Dick wasn’t able to put Tim first because he felt he had to put someone with directly competing needs to Tim’s first in this particular time and place instead, just like he had so often before put Tim’s needs ahead of others who had competing needs at the time

4) A Bruce who acknowledges his fuck-ups with Dick and actually apologizes instead of just being like “I am going to look at you solemnly with my Apologetic Eyes but its on you to read the Apology clearly present in my Apologetic Eyes cuz that’s the only one you’ll ever get as I am a genius and a renowned playboy but I do not do the words good except for when I am being genius-y and renowedly playboy-y and not Apologetic.” And who also puts in actual work to actually fix things with Dick when he fucks up in that over-the-top-I GOTTA BE THE BEST THERE EVER WAS, POK-E-MON!! kinda over-achieving way in which he does everything in life.

5) An extended Batfamily and hero community who actually ACT like Dick is someone they respect and appreciate and are in awe of for his position and accomplishments in the hero community and the fact that he’s been out there risking his life day in and day out for people almost as long as any other hero out there, and who has in fact been doing this for a FAR greater percentage of his lifetime than any other hero, period. Rather than an extended Batfamily and hero community who just SAY that Dick is respected and appreciated by everyone and this is why actually they resent him and think he’s over-rated, with no actual sign or evidence of Respect, Appreciation and/or Awe on display anywhere at any time ever.

6) A Dick Grayson who is allowed by the narrative to be as hyper-competent and intelligent and multi-skilled as any member of the Batfamily, without feeling a need for qualifiers about him being second best or a good acrobat but not as good at the detective stuff as the others, etc, etc. Noooooope. Nerp. Nuh-uh. Someday I will rise from my death-bed amid my death-throes one last time just long enough to gasp out “The Batfamily’s entire high concept is that they are a family of literal Mary Sues and thus all of them are every bit as intelligent and hyper-competent as the plot demands and its stupid to try and rank them and telling when Dick somehow always ends up ranked bottom last despite being the kid whose very existence as a hyper-competent little genius troll boy is what jumpstarted the kid hero trend in universe in the first place, which is the kind of thing that could ONLY happen if he was impressing and making second-guessers of nay-sayers left and right BUT I FUCKING DIGRESS, GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK, AND SCENE!” At which point I will expire, my work here done.

7) A Dick Grayson who is allowed to get mad and yell when people DO FUCKED UP THINGS LIKE HIT HIM AND BLAME HIM FOR SHIT THAT ISN’T HIS FAULT without this being viewed as a “flaw” and him Being Dick Grayson Badly. Extra points for a Dick Grayson who is allowed to stay centered in his own traumas and tragedies without everyone else around him somehow making it out to be that they’re MORE victimized by the things he is most directly the victim of.

8) A Dick Grayson who eats more than just sugary cereal because he was literally raised from birth even pre-Bruce as a world class athlete and show me one single person that description matches who doesn’t know how to actually keep to a nutritious diet. Yes, by all means have him eat the occasional sugary snack as a treat, that’s fine, but when the take is that this is all he exists on or would be the only thing he exists on if not for the intercession of Actual Adults being like eat your veggies, Dickie, like.....mmmm, but whatcha doin’, fic?

9) A Dick Grayson who doesn’t actually even HAVE to get mad and lose his temper when people do fucked up things like hit him and blame him for shit that isn’t his fault or do nothing but mock and insult him and make him feel bad, because there’s actually other friends and family present who make a point to be like WHOA, HOW ABOUT I SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN LIKE AN INTELLECTUAL, BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT OKAY? I’m just saying, how is it that every single fic and their grandma posits the existence of a swear jar because Alfred will not tolerate uncouth language in his domain, but it coooooooompletely flies over everyone’s head that Alfred of all people would be okay with people casually disrespecting his eldest grandson for the sake of a yawn-worthy punchline every single time someone opens their mouth to say “Dickhead” without even any kind of “Swear jar!” follow-up, let alone a “I don’t know who gave you the idea it was alright to disrespect Master Dick’s memories of his parents, young sirs, but I assure you most assuredly...‘TWAS NOT I.”

10) The existence of literally any other plot for Dick Grayson than one involving or relying on brainwashing. Like, just spitballing here but maybe people would have less trouble acknowledging and remembering the hyper-competence and skilled and genius qualities of the first Batkid if he was able to more often put those things on display instead of just running around 24/7 either brainwashed or brandishing pom-poms in enthusiastic commemoration of the hyper-competence and genius of everyone BUT him.

11) Bonus round - literally any other career choice besides being a cop.

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apuzzlingguy · 5 years ago

Text

LMFAO

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. This was posted to reddit a while back and the user deleted their profile so I can’t give credit :(

#sunfish #ocean #wall of text #funnystories

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thistangledbrain · 4 years ago

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I think I’m going to add Day 28 a day early, because I just finished it. This one took me 3 days to write...I had to keep putting it down. I think because meltdowns are our strongest reminders that we are NOT like other people, and that can be hard to accept sometimes, especially when we’re trying so hard to blend in or go along. Also, meltdowns are when we are in a raw, illogical space - which is highly unsavory, to put it mildly. We are vulnerable. Naked. Stuck. Entirely in fight or flight mode - or both. For as baffling and upsetting as you find it to be - trust me, we aren’t having a good time, either.

*takes a deep breath*

Ok, here goes.

Day 28

“Dealing with meltdowns”

Well, this one’s fun. (sarcasm)

I’m glad I got a few days ahead, because this one is hard to think about, so I keep putting it down and then coming back to it. I asked my youngest some questions, but he didn’t want to talk about it, either.

We hate meltdowns. It feels like the whole world is ending/everything is crashing down at once. I don’t CARE if what triggered it was “small” - all the repressed stuff we’ve been trying to squash comes crashing in like the fuckin Kool-Aid Man through a half open door.

But, I’ll start with how you can help.

First and foremost: DO NOT TOUCH!!! NO! BAD NEUROTYPICAL!! NO TOUCH!! (One exception: if we’re trying to blindly bolt from our environment. STOP US.)

I know this is completely counterintuitive to typical human nature, especially with young children. You want to scoop them up and cuddle them and make them feel safe. Sorry, but you just did the opposite of that - you freaked us out even more, and your need to touch and comfort is entirely yours, in that moment. Let us come to you if we want physical comfort - when we do need that, we can be like clingy little monkeys (and if an Autie child clings to you during a meltdown, you *honor* that shit & throw all the loving calm energy you can out there for them - do not say anything or try and talk them out of it - just let them cling to you and cry. Literally - JUST be there). I will say, AFTER the meltdown, we will possibly need some reassurance and kindness, if you can manage it. We will sometimes allow holding when we don’t feel good, with our absolute closest humans, but generally we really want you to just be there but not touch, until we’re ready. Lots of us don’t really want you to leave altogether, at least not for long - even if it seems like we do.

If you want to help, start with keeping your energy (your “vibe”) as calm, gentle, and peaceful as possible. Try not to get frantic or frustrated. If we’re at home or in a familiar space, do things that make our space feel better - drop the blinds/make it dark, place our weighted blanket over us/find our stuffy if we have one, light a candle or burn sage/waft a favorite calming scent, like lavender. If you say anything, use a soft, gentle voice - try not to talk too much...but if you sing, that can be very soothing. Sing very softly - I don’t know why, but soft singing and rocking (if you can stay on key...sorry but it’s grating when the tune is off!) can go a long way towards calming. Things like this can head a total meltdown off or stop it in its tracks, sometimes. Or get us out into an environment that makes us happy (like a nature trail)...but if we’re past a 4 (I’ll explain in a moment), we might not be willing to.

If we’re in a school setting, get us out from under those GOD DAMNED FLUORESCENT LIGHTS...YOU might not pick up on their eye-and-head hurting flicker, but we can. They suck even when we’re in a GOOD mood. See if you can get us into a darker room, or at least one without those &$@!;!! lights. Small things like bright lights, or sounds that usually only cause mild annoyance can become HUGE - for example, my dogs. In my best moments, the sound of them licking themselves will set my teeth on edge - if I’m trying to come out of a meltdown, those sounds - or almost any sounds, really, except white noise stuff - are infuriating. I hate to say that, but 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s just true. All your sensory shit is dialed to 11 and someone broke the knob off - there is NO “just deal with” whatever, at that point. We aren’t dealing with SHIT right then, so removal to a quiet spot is pretty damn important.

Try to distract or divert us before we’re over a 4 on a 1-10 scale, though, and absolutely before we start looping (the suggestions so far are for when the meltdown is in/almost in full swing - and I’m only speaking for older auties and into adulthood, here, though most of this stuff helps littles, too).

Let me explain “escalation scale” and “looping” - with the help of my husband, who recognizes patterns of escalation as well (in us, and in dogs ☺️). “Looping” is his word. It means no matter what you say, we keep looping back to what’s got us upset/how much we hate ourselves right then/all the bad feelings/past hurts that are piling on to the current problem. You’ll pull us out of it for a second, but then we loop right back to it. Ideally, you want to intervene before we get to the looping, which is about a 7+ on the escalation scale. Once we’re at a 7 and above....we’re consumed by it, and it gets much harder to diffuse. Think of the 1-10 scale like this: 1 is calm, 10 is completely nuclear - above a 7, almost nothing will distract us, almost nothing will divert us except bodily removal from the situation/environment & then leaving us the fuck alone (maybe figuratively but not literally - it depends on your Autie) for a while until we exhaust ourselves one way or another. If you can intervene and remove/distract right around a level 4 - which is right when you start to notice someone is getting quite agitated, you’ve got a good chance of heading the meltdown off at the pass. But if we’re already looping - repeating phrases over and over, looping back to our most upsetting feelings no matter what you say or do, sometimes while rocking or banging, you’re way too late. Now we have to ride it out together...as safely as we can manage. Now you need to make things dark, private, and as calming as you can, if possible. Or just get us the fuck out of the situation that set us off. That helps, too...obviously. I’ll tee up a possible scenario: you’re at an amusement park with your Autie. WHOA stimulation, right? You’re all having a fab time, but suddenly your Autie starts to cry or get angry or otherwise exhibit “I am SUPER OVERWHELMED” energy. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s just a lot to process, even when all the things are pretty fun. So, find a quiet place in a park like area to chill. Grab food from a stand - or go back out to your car and sit and eat a packed lunch or have some snacks. Don’t make a big fucking deal about it, either. Just “oh okay, I think now’s a good time for a quiet break”. Keep in mind all autistics are living in a sensory rich environment, and it can get mega overwhelming sometimes. It’s not always bad shit that sets us off.

I’ve mentioned in prior posts how it can feel like someone else is driving the car (controlling the emotions), while we sit in the back seat and scream and hit and try to get them to stop the fucking car and let us out...it’s in these moments that I TOTALLY understand how doctors got autism and schizophrenia mixed up, in years past. At least, that ripping in half is what my youngest son and I feel. YOU’RE frustrated with us right then? BRUH. WE are so fucking pissed and frustrated and upset that we can’t stop the car, too. You’re not helping if we know you are frustrated, either - that’s why I mention keeping your “vibe” as level and gentle and “no biggie” as possible.

I have some tips for head bangers and stuff, that I won’t include in this post but I’m happy to tell you what I’ve done/what can work.

Basically? “Dealing with” meltdowns is just....TRY SHIT. If you’re an Autie trying to manage your own, play around with what helps you calm down. It could be a brisk walk away from anything human, time under your weighted blanket, time in a dark warm shower or tub (idk about you, but in this house - water soothes nearly anything, most of the time), holding your pet, screaming all the cuss words you know into the void lol ....and the same methods might not work all the time (I was “feeling unsubstantiated feelings” the other day, and got into the shower before they overwhelmed me - a usual go to - but this time, the water felt disgusting, being wet just made it all worse. It surprised even me, but you gotta roll with it & try something else). But try as hard as you can to do something that will soothe you. Or find a safe place to let it all out, without hurting yourself. Pro tip, though: do not add alcohol. It not only takes away all the barriers you’ve probably put up to keep from going completely off the deep end, but it also magnifies all the bad feelings. I am, however, a big fan now of smoking a little green. I started trying that about 3 years ago and oh my god where has this been my whole adult life. I can’t take antidepressants or even most anxiety meds...but I can smoke. I use carefully chosen calming and pain relieving indica strains - sativa can sometimes make me feel more anxious. (YMMV)

If you’re the Emotional Support Human™️ of a melting down Autie, the same applies. Just try stuff. Trust me you will know if said Autie finds your efforts upsetting. It’s ok to want to talk to us about it afterwards, in a constructive way. Once we’ve calmed down, we know you’re trying to help. We’re raw and exhausted immediately after a meltdown though (meltdowns usually lead to shutdowns), so give us a little time, maybe. Or maybe not - maybe your Autie will be in a more communicative frame of mind, since it’s fresh. You won’t know unless you ask, maybe like “could we talk about this, or would you like some time to be quiet?” (Again - gentle tone and energy is important.)

Meltdowns are hard for me to write about because these days, they’re super rare, but when they happen, they’re ...well, brutal. Like really, really bad. I had one a few years ago that I think terrified my husband. We were in the car. I was getting so upset (screaming, beating my fists and probably thrashing a little) that he had to stop the car. Luckily we were in the boonies, but...not long after he stopped the car, I attempted to bolt. I felt trapped in between his efforts to soothe and the small confines of the car, and just wanted to bolt. Run. Far away. There was ZERO thought of personal safety at that point. His efforts to contain me were met with violence. I will be ashamed of that for the rest of my life - I don’t even have words for what an amazing human my husband is, and the LAST thing my non-melting-down brain wants, is to hurt him. But all I could think about was doing whatever needed to be done to escape this hell I was in. God. Just writing about it hurts, and I feel fresh shame. I’m telling you all this, so that you understand that *in that moment*, we are a cornered and overwhelmed animal, who wants to just bite bite bite or run away (fight/flight). The things we usually cling to - logic and reason - don’t exist right then. Nothing is logical - which actually adds to our upset.

There may be a time when your Autie feels like this too - and that’s one time where you DO need to intervene even if we don’t like it/hate it/get furious with you for it. If we are trying to hurt ourselves or run, do what you need to to not allow that. I truly believe this is how many young Autie kids get lost - we were upset and we just bolted blindly. We don’t react well to you stopping us....but it’s necessary.

There’s a moment in the Disney movie “Soul”, where 22 becomes a lost soul. Her little bright blue body is engulfed by swirling blackness, and inside that blackness is every bad or negative thing that’s ever been said to her. She starts looping - “I’m not good enough”, “I have no purpose”, over and over and over. This is what a meltdown feels like. In the movie, her mentor quietly hands her a small token reminder that starts to make the blackness melt away - it’s not the token that “society” thinks she should have, it’s a personal one. Shouting at her, blah blahblah talking, trying to reason with her makes her hiss and run away - but *quietly* handing her a tactile object that means something to her, brings her back to the present, and is what breaks the looping.

Here’s the clip of when he breaks through her meltdown. I hope it explains things in a way I’m struggling to. I’ll end with that...if the subtitles distract you, I apologize, I can’t find a “clean clip”.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nmapZFDUkBk&t=41s

#asd #autism #autistic #acceptance #awareness #actuallyautistic

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