#fear of being alone

[howlsofbloodhounds]

quick question! is there a connection between color and a camera, whether it's a headcanon or canonically stated somewhere, since i've seen a couple of artworks with him taking pictures

It’s just a headcanon.

It’s a very popular headcanon that Color’s complex trauma surrounding having his entire existence erased, forgotten, and replaced leads to intense fears of being replaced, forgotten, nonexistent, ignored, overlooked, or alone and abandoned—as he also does canonically fear being alone very very much— has led to him becoming obsessed with leaving reminders of his existence and presence and memory.

Often times he probably panics, dissociates, or gets angry if he feels like he’s being forgotten or ignored—even if it’s as simple as someone refusing to look at him when he’s speaking. Likely needing acknowledgment and reminders from his loved ones that he does still exist and they haven’t forgotten him.

Marking places and items with markers or pencils or even via carving in the pillars of the Last Corridor when in the Void, hoarding things (even unimportant things), obsessively journaling and scrapbooking, marking and keeping track of time a lot, refusing to heal any marks scars or wounds on his body, always having a camera or phone with a working camera nearby to take pictures of just about every memory and experience he has. Likely keeping every single gift someone gives him, and probably taking pictures of said gift to put in a picture album.

And because Color is also commonly HC’d as autistic as well, many also see photography as one of Color’s special interests. On top of that, due to Color’s severe skull injury, it’s possible that he fears forgetting things and people and losing track of time and moments as well—on top of the possible heavy dissociative episodes and how some people have HC’d him to struggle with maladaptive daydreaming, its likely he could struggle with memory loss as well.

[lovesick02]

Please don´t fall in love with somebody else

[sl8tersstuff]

I love life but I’m never going to find a way to live it without an abiding fear that I’m going to be alone forever.

As they say, there’s no guarantee you’ll be loved.

[rr-sheep]

◀~·The Fear Of Being Alone·~▶

DNB/FNF🌽-(Bambi)-📚 don't leave me...

[thedeadpoetshadow]

now I know why people choose to stay even when they getting hurt .....(the fear of being left abandoned)

[alice-the-kittycat-yt]

[dinosaurswant2rule]

For the whump prompt ask list:

🪷 breathless fear, wide eyes, terrified anticipation of what will happen next...

I have no idea when you asked this and I'm appalling at answering these for sure.

I also don't know if this was what you had in mind?

But after a huge cluster fuck mind blank and much thinking this is what I came up with

Jack was trapped in that tiny room. Well not trapped quite, he’d raced inside, desperate to escape the guards. He had been driven a bout of insanity and fear and his brain not quite functioning. When he had seen Mac’s body drop, something short circuited in his head,  he’d seen the hostages too, heard them screaming and then started shouting to get the guards attention and well it had worked. He had started to run, his lungs were still burning. His heart was pounding as he’d finally found a tiny place to be temporarily safe. Everything had stopped, the footsteps, the rain of bullets, the flying bits of the walls all coming at him. It had all stopped and he was not safe. 

He felt sick and ashamed, he’d seen his friend’s body drop and he’d run the other way. Dalton had no idea if the hostages had even made it. It had been a stupid, stupid plan, not even a plan, a half-baked, it was so stupid that it wasn’t even a scrap of an idea, half an idea. Nothing. Jack took a few deep breaths, spouting gibberish in his head would not help. He leaned back against the stone-cold wall and continued to breath in and out, long and slow, or at least as slow as he could manage. He realised at some point that he was shaking, he was frightened and cold. That was shock though, he knew that, difficult and scary events produced shock and that in turn produced side effects like shaking. Lack of food and sleep probably didn’t aid the whole shock thing, he knew that too. 

Finally his breathing improved and the pain in his chest improved, but the shaking didn’t stop. Now he had slowed down, he also realised that the noise of the outside was at full volume, he could hear guards, plenty of soldiers, lots of men with more weapons than he had all yelling and swearing in a variety of different languages. The level of cursing, in exhausted hysterical state he found himself smirking. Who knew there were so many different ways to say fuck? 

The rest is on HERE on AO3

[crmsnmth]

Cigarette Smoke

cigarette smoke rises slowly to the roughness of a popcorn ceiling Beside me she sleeps, her clothes on the floor just like mine I follow her chest move listening to her breathy lullaby inhale exhale and repeat

I stare at the ceiling Wondering how I found myself here tonight she's practically a stranger but I'm just so desperate for any kind of affection that I've found myself in a stranger's apartment in a stranger's room in a stranger's bed I can't sleep without weight next to me So I go to clubs I wish I didn't know about and let any leech cone to me

I put the cigarette in my mouth and can hear the ember crackle as I inhale my future cancerous lungs somewhere in this complex with paper thin walls somebody coughs in unison with me

A half empty Miller Lite can acts out a second life as an ashtray and I know I should just try and get some sleep because the sun will be hope within an hour or so so i wrap my arms around a girl whose name I've already forgotten

And pretend she's you

[venting-with-jitty]

I have monophobia, scared of being alone & abandonment, & all my friends know that. So one day they all ignore me FUCKING GREAT?? Now this was a few weeks ago but i just thought ab it. I hate ppl who like to trigger ppls fears I'VE TOLD THEM THIS MILLIONS OF TIMES 2! So why fucking do it? It scared me so fucking bad & made me feel not real. Yes, ik i sound childish but imagine u have a fear & everyone triggers it. IMAGINE!

[coolbonnieart]

Tw blood:

I apologize for not posting in abit...I would like to address why:

My mental heath has be deteriorating as of late and I've been feeling less and less happy,

I've been trying to hide if from people but it doesn't seem to be working... the more i want to connect....the more I feel distended..cold, and I dont want to feel like that.

And it usually shows in threw my art ( most with the abstract pizza tower au or eclipse goemon)

My aus arnt just for fun, they're usually how I feel or what's going on in my mind.

I hope you understand, and again I apologize for not posting sooner.

[howifeltabouthim]

It's all such a charade, she thought, this pretending to be in love just to avoid being alone. I want to love him, but you can't force yourself to fall in love with someone, let alone marry them, just because they want you to.

Anna Biller, from Bluebeard's Castle

[funsimplethings]

[eclecticbutterfly44]

Why do I get so jealous and upset and scared and angry when my friend hangs out with someone other than me

[winrygreen]

From tomorrow at 7.45am, I'm home alone for approximately 10 days… I'm apprehensive because this year I've been alone too much and I HATE it.

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one