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#fickle gremlin but we love to see it
needlxd · 1 year
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@bytepire: "maybe it's not okay right now. maybe it won't be for a while. whichever it is, i won't leave you."
when it gets hard || sentence starters.
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there's a mix of uncertainty and wonder to k's optical display. her head even tilts to one side, &for a few moments she studies the other, as if trying to find any sign of deceit in either her actions or tone. not that she really expects that sort of thing out of uzi. she has n's rather complete trust, after all, and k trusts n entirely. which has earned her more than her fair share of lectures & unpleasant retaliations from j & even v at times, but not once has that trust wavered. which simply means she places her trust & faith in uzi as well.
still, hearing that she won't be left alone? that's a shock to the system, no matter who it comes from.
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« i'm not leaving either. » it takes a few moments to get her bearings again, but k is able to make her signs confidently once she does. « i'm tired of... losing people, anyway. i'm sick of it, & everything the humans have done. so... i'm not leaving anyone behind again. that includes you― so don't you dare go counting yourself out from being one of us now. »
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frodo-with-glasses · 1 year
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Discord Highlights: Hobbit Babies
This discussion got very chaotic very quickly lol but I've done my best to sort it all by category. Enjoy!
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Topic One: Sam's Kids
InvisibleWashboard:
If I’m allowing myself the privilege of indulging in AU where Frodo doesn’t leave, I often imagine Elanor calls him [Fro]. But she is the only one who is allowed to.
meg is me:
"Fwo" Frodo, lifting a cup in his hand: "throw?" "No! Fwo!"
novelmonger:
I've been imagining Elanor calling him "Unca Fodo."
And then there's "Unca Mewwy" and "Pip-Pip." (Pippin tries to get her to call him Uncle too, but it doesn't work. He's not Unc-y enough 😂)
InvisibleWashboard:
Stop it I’m dying from cuteness.
meg is me:
Can you imagine when elanor was born and sam was like all tender and amazed and he was like "lets call him frodo" and rosie was like. She's a girl, Sam And Sam was like..... so excited to name his son frodo that he forgot it might not be a son XD
Me:
I love that he canonically didn’t even consider that she MIGHT be a girl until she came out as one 🤣🤣 “We were all set to name him Frodo! But, well, ah. He’s a she. :-C”
meg is me:
I love sam Bless sam
I desperately hope that Sam's son Bilbo was 10x worthy of the name 😂
Me:
Bilbo Gamgee was an utter gremlin
Writing Valkyrie:
He just recites poetry to get out of punishment. Sometimes it works.
meg is me:
"First he's robbing the pantry. Next he'll be robbing dragons- THAT'S MY WEDDING RING"
Me:
Bilbo Jr. tells his friends about how he, too, won his ring in a game of wits against a nasty, ugly creature while Sam is over there waiting for him to give his wedding band back like >:-C
meg is me:
Better yet His older siblings And they half believe him because quote "Daddy is rather ugly" and Elanor gets SO offended on dear old Sam's behalf
Elanor could be overheard hugging her dad and saying "don't worry you're very handsome" Sam just laughs
Me:
“Well your mother thinks I’m handsome, and that’s all that matters ;-)” Cue the chorus of “EWWW”
Windmill to the Stars:
100% something my dad would say XD
meg is me:
It's split between ewwww and awwww Bby frodo ships his dad and mom so hard and is ecstatic to learn that they have in fact gotten married to each other
Me:
“So you’ll be together?? FOREVER??” “Indeed we will, lad!” “8-D”
Frodo Jr. ships his mom and dad almost as hard as his namesake did
InvisibleWashboard:
So Frodo-lad is not the little boy who is disappointed when he learns he can’t marry Rosie when he grows up, but was baby Elanor initially devastated when Rosie had to tell her, “You can’t marry Sam-dad love, he’s already married to me.”??
Me:
Oh my word I love that ahaha Elanor is 100% a daddy's girl
Windmill to the Stars:
In the epilogue she calls him "Sam-dad"
InvisibleWashboard:
Sam-dad and Rose-mum just absolutely freaking melts my heart every time I think about it. I don’t know why.
meg is me:
He loves his family so so much
Me:
See I know it says in the epilogue that Frodo Jr. is the spitting image of Sam, but part of me can’t help imagining that he looks like Elijah Wood’s Frodo… Brown curly hair and all that
meg is me:
Speaking of facts disproved by the appendices but true in my bones Merry and Pippin Gamgee are twins
Me:
oh my word I love that
InvisibleWashboard:
I like that this is true in your bones and not in your heart. Because the heart is fickle and can be changed by things like canon. Bones are more stubborn. Sometimes not even canon can break them.
meg is me:
I adore that they aren't named Meriadoc and Peregrin but rather Merry and Pippin Sam took his dad's advice to heart- if you give them a short name you don't need to worry about nicknames Guess old Gaffer learned from needing to shorten his son's names to Ham, Sam, etc
Me:
“I’m not giving my boys those fru-fru gentlehobbit names, they’ll have short names like sensible folk”
meg is me:
Pippin casually mentions to Sam if it's a boy maybe we'll name him Aragorn Strider Elessar, Gorn for short And sam is an inch away from taking custody of Pippin's unborn child
Me:
HAHAHA PIPPIN NO
Topic Two: Merry's Kids
InvisibleWashboard:
I head canon Merry being that way with his kids only he desperately wants a girl so he can name her Eowyn.
meg is me:
Merry has Boromir, Eomer, and like 3 other sons before baby Eowyn comes into the world
Me:
Would Merry even feel worthy of naming a son Theoden?? I feel like he’d want to, but…
meg is me:
Ok but bby Theo With his little curls
InvisibleWashboard:
Theodoc.
meg is me:
Theodocuments
Me:
THEODOC I LOVE IT NO LISTEN I AM 100% ADOPTING THEODOC INTO MY BELIEF SYSTEM ‘CAUSE IT JUST F I T S
Windmill to the Stars:
Part of me wants Merry to half-jokingly ship his daughter Eowyn with Faramir Took. Partially just so he and Pip can share grandkids
Me:
There’s no canon evidence that to disprove that some OTHER pair of their children ended up getting married! X-D
Topic Three: Pippin's Kids
meg is me:
I wrote a fic where Pip had a daughter named Sable because my best friend at the time was named Sable and the only place the word sable was found in lotr was in regards to Pip's tower guard uniform
Me:
That's so sweet oh my word
meg is me:
Pippin in many ways will never mature and I love him for it I'm still stuck on him and diamond naming their kids the most obscure things after Merry stole all the Friend Names besides Faramir The tooks already sound Outlandish
Pippin and diamond would be that couple who wants to choose Unique baby names but their friends keep reining them in "Let's name him TREEBEARD" "hmm and Enta for a girl" Sam: do you HEAR YOURSELVES
Windmill to the Stars:
What nickname would Pippin give to his son Faramir?
Kasey Gondor:
Furry
Me:
Progressively shortened more and more until it’s just “Ra”
InvisibleWashboard:
Faramir refuses any and all nicknames anyone attempts to give him ever.
Windmill to the Stars:
Faramir is "Me, an Intellectual" from an early age XD
meg is me:
He started "courting" lil Goldilocks at age 7 and Sam wants to be mad but it reminds him so much of him and Rosie that he lets Faramir Took pick the flowers from his garden to give to his daughter
Goldilocks: daddy fair-meer picked MY flowers! 😄 Sam: ....we planted those together, sweetheart Sam: beyond pleased for you, lass
Me:
Sam sitting down with little Faramir Took and having a Very Serious Talk that if he intends to court sweet little Goldilocks he’ll have to be very kind and good and generous to her and always look out for her good above his own even if it’s hard and it hurts
Faramir was like 9, and all Sam was concerned about was Faramir pushing her and pulling her hair and stealing the berries out of her picnic basket, but it stuck
Years later, after the wedding, Faramir tells Sam that he’s never forgotten that talk and it absolutely changed his life and Sam is like “wot” cuz he’d forgotten all about it
InvisibleWashboard:
NO STOP IT THAT IS TOO CUTE
Windmill to the Stars (re: nicknames):
Ferry to rhyme with Merry, and lil Faramir HATES it
meg is me:
THIS IS CANON TO ME STARTING NOW
InvisibleWashboard:
That is so good I adore it!
meg is me:
Pippin: "hop in the cart fam we're going to Buckland" everyone looks at faramir Faramir: "don't" Pippin: "We're gonna go on the FERRY"
Me:
EYYYYYY
Merry, meanwhile, calls him Master Faramir, and this is why Merry is his favorite uncle
meg is me:
perfection
InvisibleWashboard is @invisiblewashboard, novelmonger is @novelmonger, Writing Valkyrie is @writingvalkyrie, Windmill to the Stars is @windmilltothestars, Kasey Gondor is @captaingondor, and meg is me does not have tumblr :-3
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shadowsight-aster · 1 year
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I do not regret opening Pandora's box whatsoever, in fact I'll keep opening it over and over again like a gremlin child.
I'M SO GLAD THAT I FOUND SOMEONE WHO LIKES THIS SHIP AS MUCH AS I DO! I was beginning to feel lonely.
An overhaul? Is that another word for a rewrite? If so, can Grey Wing be less forgiving of Clear Sky? He was way too light on him, Jagged Peak should have gone off a lot more about how horrible he was when their mom came to visit. She didn't even find out half the shit he did before disowning him.
And can Grey Wing PLEASE live up to 5 years at least? I want him to be happy with his husband for a little while longer, 2 and a half years is so young. 😭
AND RIVER SAYS HE LOOKED A LOT OLDER WHEN HE WAS LIKE, WHAT, A YEAR AND A HALF? THIS POOR CAT NEEDS A BREAK!
The difference between Grey Wing and River Ripple's lives is insane actually, Grey Wing was going hungry for the sake of others while River was taking food from twolegs and meditating. Grey Wing watched half of his friends die in a battle caused by his paranoid, delusional brother, was almost killed by said brother and blames himself for the deaths. River's camp probably seemed like an unreachable dream.
TRIPPING OVER NOTHING AND CRASHING THROUGH GLASS SLIDING DOORS. HOPPING FROM PAW TO PAW LIKE MY TAIL'S ON FIRE !!!! slash positive words cannot describe the unfiltered joy i get learning that there are people out there who also love my warriors ideas/ships n stuff. stimming so hard i simply stop existing TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION!!! yes yes i do mean rewrite and let me tell you about anon (dotc spoilers beneath the break!) (and a lot of words. like almost too many get ready to read)
starting all the way from the top: i kept fluttering bird alive i don't like it when the erins kill off the babies esp in the first few chapters of knowing them for shock value (and yeah yeah it was motive for the settlers leaving but. the ancients were already starving. they didn't need a little kitten dying to tell them to get moving) bird actually becomes the next stoneteller (at a very young age but i'll tell you what i was inspired by in a second) and passes on her last message, the prophecy of the sun trail ok so first: this one cover of the hobbit's "i see fire." (the one by celtic woman literally so beautiful) with bird singing it. "o' misty eye of the mountain below / keep careful watch of my brother's souls / and should the sky be filled with fire and smoke / keep watching over durin's sons." IS LITERALLY BIRD TALKING ABOUT HER BROTHERS!!! real not false i can see her leaning into the pool in the cavern of pointed stones, begging the world to tell her if they're even alive and getting just blurry images and feelings in return secondly: i think quiet rain would see her kids be burdened with leadership moons before their time and mourn the death of their kithood, as all mothers do. and on the other end, jagged peak. seeing all of his siblings fly above their stations on wings of starlight, while he himself is grounded, literally and figuratively. that he eventually remembers that he's still himself, he's still important and powerful and needed. he is not a burden--even if he's not one of the golden children--and it shows in the fierce love he has for his campmates (btw side note. we need more canon warriors disability rep NOW. justice for my kids.) do note i forget if this happened in dotc originally but now it's tripled. sorry jagged i still love you
as you said, yes. grey wing and jagged peak are lot more harsh to clear sky (and i say this with the most love) (sky is an ASSHOLE.) (rewrite clear sky even more so. ohhhh let me tell you.) circling back around to i see fire. i always thought that fire was very important in warriors, right?? from the first book, we know that the colonies (thunder, at the very least) see fire as this violent, fickle, destructive force that kills off colonies, we see it in how everybody distrusts firepaw when he joins the clan, we see it rip through territories and drive out entire colonies, we see it in the visions warning the healers of impending danger, in the colors of the aura of the sun eclipsed by the dark eye of the moon, in the ripples in the lake stained red with blood at sunset. but in these blazes, there grows new life afterwards. it's the knowledge learned in the ashes, the guilts and mistakes laid raw and bare with no cover to hide it. it's the phoenix dusting itself off, ready to grow stronger on the next cycle. the fire cleanses, the fire takes away, it is a device of nature and a weapon to be feared. enough prose: what am i trying to prove? well. i always thought that one eye had a lot of unused potential as a villain (AND STAR FLOWER. holding my tongue i'll get to her in a second) and slate was a fuckin. waste of time! in the rewrite, one eye uses fire to get his way. the mountain cats have never had many encounters with it (not a lot of fires near a waterfall with 0 kindling opportunities) and that it's been reduced to nothing more than a scary kit-story so one eye can intimidate them with it because he "knows how to control it," and understands how to get it he burns away patches of the blazing star to make a point (star flower gets on his case for this because "YOU MOUSE-BRAINED SCAT OF A DAD. *WE* ALSO NEED THAT."), he burns his followers, and nearly convinces clear sky to burn away all of the territories so they can easily kill and drive out all those who oppose them and rebirth a united nation underneath one eye's watchful gaze. clear sky comes full circle and becomes the very monster he was running from. doing this leaves no prey and will starve all who live in the territory the plague of death follows sky wherever he roams! haha! his siblings absolutely tear into him for this AND all of the other warcrimes he committed. let this freak work to earn forgiveness (also this feeds into why the colonies fear fire) (because this little menace of a man nearly killed everyone including himself) (his practices were deliberately buried so nobody else would get the idea to do that) (OTHER THAN NIGHTHEART BUT THAT'S ANOTHER REWRITE FOR ANOTHER DAY!) even though this is a lot of fire, grey wing does not die to his asthma! i have asthma and IM still alive. why can't he? huh? huh erins? he lives on the moor but he constantly stops by the island to visit his husband <3 all of the kindle cats treat him like one of their own, lift their tails and bunt and purr at him (the apprentices always see him coming from the moor and race to be the first to tell river ripple) night always has to flick river with her tail and be like: RIVER. GO TALK TO GREY WING. YOU'VE BEEN STARING AT HIM FOR FIVE MINUTES?? she also gives them tips on how to care for the younger members of their camps, how to be patient with them ALSO ALSO he AND river raise turtle tail's kids as their own. river calls them young ones, pebbles, minnows (that last one is picked up from arc. bawling) oh and also thunder and lightning tail are also in love. mic drop (my reasoning? they grew up together, they are so best friends to lovers) (and lightning tail gets so obviously jealous of star flower being with thunder it's hilarious) ONCE AGAIN THIS IS GETTING SUPER LONG BUT I WILL GO ON IN ANOTHER POST!!! i have many thoughts in my brain :3
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kingkatsuki · 2 years
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Jo!!!
Holy crow!! I just read lactation, Somno and Robot (I got the free time to do so lol) and let me say,
(Do I need to say spoiler alert, because I wanna talk and I wanna use plots of each fic in what I wanna say, so just in case Spoilers! I mean not for you lol you wrote the fics lol! 😄)
Lactation - aww, that was so so sweet, Bakugou would be the dad to get jealous of his own baby lol, but he would jump us the second he could just to make more babies, he would want his own army of babies just to see us all plump with his lil gremlins lol!
Robots - okay, this one, I was curious about it since you first posted the masterlist, and when you posted it I read the description and I got "scared", ok scared is a strong word, but I was worried because me + angst are a fickle pair, I only read angst if it's like hurt/comfort, and if it's complete I can't do multi chapter angst that is incomplete,I have been hurt by unfinished angst fics so I don't like reading incomplete fics, so I wait lol. (but that's a problem for me to deal with lol) now like I said I was curious, (and I finally got time to catch up) so I read it, and let me say how on earth did you do that, when I read the description I thought we were dating and a villain killed us so Bakugou was going to be depressed (which is why I was scared to read it like I said me and angst are not the best of friends lol) then I got to the middle of the fic and my jaw literally dropped, (and yes I wasn't thinking about the yandere tag you put up top, like I saw it but just glossed over it lol, the yandere stuff don't bother me thats why I just glossed over it!) I mean I could see Bakugou going that crazy over reader, but I really wasn't expecting him be the one to murder us, like wow, you wrote that amazingly!!! And I mean that in the best way! I don't know what I was worried about, I mean YOU wrote it so it was bound to be great! And you fulfilled that curiousness in me to the max!! That was so good!!
Somnophilia - ahhh!!! This one was soo good! I would so jump Kiri the second we hit that hotel room also, and him buying us toys because he's so busy is the sweetest thing 😆! I would have probably just climbed him like a tree just seeing him all dressed up for the gala, yeah I probably would have gotten him in trouble with his PR team by making him miss the gala and make them mail the award to him, because if he has been so busy and we finally got alone time in a hotel, I would probably chain him to the bed, or just chain up the door so he can't leave, and make him fuck me so much that my legs lose all functionality!! I loved that fic lol, I don't know if you could tell 😄!
You did such an amazing job on these fics and all the other fics you have done!!!!!
I really hope you are having a great day, night, or when ever!!!
(sorry for the super long ask I just couldn't hold it all in!!!!)
Okay I selfishly held onto this a little longer because omg it made me smile so so much! Thank you for taking your time to not only read my fics but leave me such lovely comments you’ve got no idea how much it means!🥺💕
And thank you for giving the Robots one a go even tho you were a lil scared!!! Your kind words legit have me sobbing I’m just so happy ahhh!!
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seitosokusha · 3 years
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Writing Evaluation 2021
last year’s one
List of fics published this year
Forged in Flames - (bsd/khr) [ch 1]
lay down your life - (bsd) [ch 1]
hold me gently, touch me sweetly - (bsd) [ch 1]
rotten rope - (bsd) [ch 1]
some day you'll know (how dark and bright the world can be) - (bsd) [ch 1]
together we are dangerous - (bsd) [ch 1-9]
weight of a word - (bsd) [ch 1]
i spy - (bsd) [ch 1]
the person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger - (bsd) [ch 1-11]
what birds dream of - (bsd) [ch 1-2]
114 is the number that comes to my head - (ffxv/khr) [ch 1]
i'm your responsibility now - (ffxv/khr) [ch 1]
even in this life, it's the same old love - (bsd/khr) [ch 1]
death won't do us apart - (bsd/khr) [ch 1]
break the chaos limit - (bsd/khr) [ch 1]
do you know the line i'd walk for you? - (bsd) [ch 1-10]
ask darling, i'll give you the world - (bsd) [ch 1]
flirting with death - (bsd) [ch 1]
kitsune no yomeiri - (bsd/khr) [ch 1]
hi honey - (ffxv/khr) [ch 1]
empty sky - (khr) [ch 6-7]
it's written on my soul (hope's what we crave) - (bsd) [ch 1-8]
pull out your pen and write down your memory - (bsd) [ch 1-26]
bloodstained on my hands - (bsd) [ch 1]
there's a light, there a sun, taking all the shattered ones - (bsd) [ch 1]
world's greatest dad - (bsd) [ch 1]
teenage acrobaleno au - (khr) [ch 4 only]
almost as bloody as his personal quarters - (bsd) [ch 1]
khr titles - (khr) [ch 20 only]
burn the ship - (bsd) [ch 1-15]
bsd titles - (bsd) [ch 1-6]
gokudera hayato's school of disarm a bomb in 10 seconds or die - (bsd) [ch 1-7]
they say history likes to repeat - (bleach/naruto) [ch 18-27]
lullabye for a stormy night - (bsd) [ch 1]
i love to see you beam - (bsd) [ch 1]
nesting blues - (bsd) [ch 1]
killer heels - (bsd) [ch 1]
wreath you in love - (bsd) [ch 1]
genius, billionaire, (not a playboy), philanthropist - (bsd) [ch 1]
tie me down with love - (bsd) [ch 1]
stitching it together - (bsd) [ch 1]
despair, not hope, lies at the bottom of the box - (khr) [ch 1]
for you are the reason to shine - (khr) [ch 1]
say you won't let go - (bsd) [ch 1-7]
this gremlin is my "wife" - (bsd) [ch 1]
i'm holding on tight to you - (bsd) [ch 1-3]
date night interruption - (bsd) [ch 1]
be my judge, jury and executioner au - (khr/persona 5) [ch 1]
show me your thorns (and i'll show you hands ready to bleed) - (bsd) [ch 1]
stuffing and string - (bsd) [ch 1/?]
tiger naps - (bsd) [ch 1]
bnha titles - (bnha) [ch 11]
Made of Choices and Convictions AU - (khr) [ch 1]
gentle blue light au - (ffxv) [ch 1]
Mayo Bottle - (ffxv) [ch 1]
Made of Stardust and Sunlight AU - (khr) [ch 1]
make lemonade AU - (bsd) [ch 1]
a dream of love and love and love - (bsd) [ch 1]
dripping like a saturated sunrise - (pokemon) [ch 16 only]
talk to me pretty, "here kitty kitty!" - (bsd) [ch 1-4]
Two Edogawas - (bsd/dmck) [ch 1]
pour me a cup of love and sugar - (bsd) [ch 1]
made of blades and broken bits - (bsd/khr) [ch 1]
chaos in thy blood - (bsd/khr) [ch 1-4]
come to the dark side, we have good benefits - (bsd) [ch 1/?]
REMIX FIC - (khr) [ch 1]
okay but have you considered fuck canon? - (bsd) [ch 1-5]
+14 smut fics
Total Fics: 67 + 14 = 81
Total word count: 413381
Fun Fact:  Your original novel averages between 60k-80k  
unsurprisingly, BSD obsession was going strong and damn I wrote a for that fandom. It’s only been a little over a year and i already passed 50 stories (and a total of 400k words back in october for the fandom so it’s probably way more than that now).
I... definitely wrote more than that (because there’s a lot of WIPs still in my google drive that despite my 31 days of updates, I didn’t get around to posting. Mostly cause I’m not willing to speed up the posting schedule or post it before it’s finished due to how fickle the plunny is. They’ll be counted next year since published to ao3 is the only real measurement I had, but oh.my.god where did I get the energy to write that much. I blew all the previous years out the water. wtf
AO3 Stats
12/30/20
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12/30/21
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These stats are little wonky, especially the word count. There was huge jump in word count because i migrated all my fics from ff.net to ao3. But I passed 500+ words this year, 2 million works in my entire writing career. Thank you so much for supporting and reading my fics. I really do appreciate it.
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thelastspeecher · 3 years
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The Six Senses - Chapter 4: Ugly Things in the Darkness
Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   AO3
It’s been three years since I posted Chapter 3 of this fic.  And now, I’m finally finishing it!  I had a lot of ideas and plans to do more than just four chapters, but inspiration is a fickle mistress, and I ran up against basically a wall.  Not to mention, while I was working on this last chapter, my Word doc kept freezing, so I think the Universe is trying to tell me to end the fic here.
Enjoy.
---
Summary: The assault on the company.
Ugly things in the darkness Worse things in store In the declining years Of the long war - The Mountain Goats, “In the Craters on the Moon”
——————————————————————————————
              Shermie’s van came to a stop outside a small, cozy cabin. Stan, Ford, Fiddleford, and Shermie got out.  Ford eyed the cabin.
              “Really?  This is where the kid lives?” he asked.
              “I think it looks lovely,” Shermie said. “Small, but homey.”
              “It’s the size that’s throwing Ford for a loop,” Stan explained, leaning against the van.  “The place is barely big enough for Dan’s voice.”  Shermie frowned.  “You’ll see.  Let’s head inside.”  The four headed for the cabin.  Just as Stan raised a hand to knock, the door opened, revealing Wendy.  Wendy beamed up at Stan.
              “Uncle Stan!” she chirped.  Stan scooped her into his arms with a playful growl.
              “Hey there, little gremlin,” he cooed.  Wendy giggled, throwing her arms around his neck. “Where are your parents?”
              “Mama’s in bed.”
              “And your dad?”
              “Right here,” a voice rumbled from behind the men. The men turned.  Dan Corduroy stood there, apparently just done with his work, judging by the dirty axe hefted over one shoulder.  “And ANGEL is STAYING in bed.  GOT IT?”
              “Angel?” Shermie asked.  Dan scowled.
              “My WIFE.”
              “Ah.  Yes. Is that- is that her name?” Shermie asked, clearly trying to be polite.  Dan’s scowl deepened.
              “It’s her NICKNAME.  Ever HEARD of one?”
              “Ah.  Okay.”
              “Good to see ya again, Dan,” Fiddleford said, holding out a hand.  Dan shook the offered hand.  Shermie goggled at how Fiddleford’s hand was dwarfed by Dan’s.  “How’s m’ sister doin’?”
              “All right, but NOT involved with THIS,” Dan said firmly.  “Doc says she CAN’T have more STRESS.  She’s staying OUT of this.”
              “Understood,” Ford said with a nod.  Dan sighed heavily.
              “But I can’t stay out of it,” he said somberly. Stan raised an eyebrow.
              He doesn’t use his inside voice very often.  He’s serious about this.
              Yeah, no shit, Ford said tartly.  Stan glared at him.
              Get outta my head, Sixer.  Ford rolled his eyes.
              Fine.
              “What do you mean, Dan?” Stan asked.  Dan sighed again.
              “These people…they’ve gone after my wife. They’ll go after my daughter, too. I can’t let them.”  He met Stan’s eyes squarely.  “Whether you like it or not, I’m coming with.”
              “We’ll be glad to have your help,” Ford said. He looked at Stan.  “Stan?”
              “Yeah, with Dan as backup, our odds are even better,” Stan confirmed.
              “Why do you think the company will go after your daughter?” Shermie asked.  Dan looked at Wendy, still in Stan’s arms.
              “Show ‘em, SWEETIE.”  Wendy nodded.  She closed her eyes.  Stan began to float off the ground.  He hovered for a few seconds before slamming back down onto his heels.  “Started happening LAST WEEK.  ANGEL says that’s how SHE started.”  Dan gripped his axe so tightly his knuckles turned white underneath his ginger hair.  “They WON’T do to Wendy what THEY did to my WIFE.”
              “No, they won’t,” Stan said firmly.  Dan looked at him.
              “Do you…KNOW?” he asked.  Stan reached for the information.  After a moment, he nodded.
              “Wendy’s safe.”  Dan’s shoulders slumped in relief.  “But only if we rescue Shermie’s grandkids.”  Dan grinned viciously.
              “Sounds GOOD to ME.  My AXE gets sick of TREES sometimes.”  Shermie, Fiddleford, and Ford blanched.  Stan, however, set Wendy on the ground.
              “Hey, kid, did you hear what your husband just said?” he called, cupping his hands around his mouth.
              “Yes, I certainly did!” the kid shouted from inside the house.  “And I’m not happy he made that sorta joke in front of people who don’t know his sense of humor!”  Stan smirked at Dan.  “You better all come inside so I can catch up with my family and scold my dear spouse!” Stan ruffled Wendy’s hair.
              “Go get your mama, sweetie.”  Wendy bolted inside.  Stan looked at Ford.  “Let’s go see our little sister.”  Ford smiled.
              “But of course.”
-----
              Dan’s pickup truck came to a stop inside a wooded clearing a little under a mile from the company’s headquarters.  Stan practically fell out of the car in his haste to be away from Dan’s distinctive body odor.
              “Do you ever shower?” Stan choked out.  Dan got out of the truck, scowling.
              “ANGEL likes it.”
              “Yeah, I don’t understand her sometimes,” Stan muttered.  Ford and Fiddleford got out as well.  “So, we all understand the plan?”  The other three men nodded.
              “We should go over it quickly, though,” Ford said. “We will break in by stealing some of the uniforms worn by the workers.  While Fiddleford causes a distraction, Stan and I use the map to track down Mabel and Mason.  Fiddleford leaves after causing his distraction, Stan and I leave after rescuing the infants, and we all meet up here with Dan.”  Everyone nodded.
              “If you NEED me, you can…”  Dan grimaced.  “You can get INSIDE my HEAD, Stanford.”
              “Really?” Ford asked.  Dan nodded.
              “I might HATE it, but it’s the EASIEST and FASTEST way to contact ME.  Can’t waste TIME with these PATHETIC worms.”
              “Usually I use more four-letter words to talk about the people who work for the company, but ‘pathetic worms’ isn’t bad,” Stan remarked. Dan grinned.
              “I just HOPE your CITY-SLICKER BROTHER takes care of my WIFE.”
              “Shermie will take great care of the kid and Wendy,” Ford said smoothly.  Dan nodded. Stan took a steadying breath.
              “We better go soon.”
              “Do our odds get worse if we wait?” Ford asked.
              “Yeah.”
              “Any particular reason why?”
              “‘Cause I’m gonna lose my nerve if I have to think about it much longer.”
-----
              One strong mental blast from Ford was enough to knock out the three guards by the back door.
              “You’ve gotten better at that,” Stan remarked as he removed the guards’ uniforms.
              “I’ve been practicing,” Ford replied.  Stan handed him a uniform.  “You’re physically much stronger than I am.  I have to be able to protect myself somehow.”
              “Yeah, yeah, I get it.  It’s just a bit surprising to see three men drop when all you did was look at them.”  Stan tossed a uniform to Fiddleford.  “Get dressed. We’ve gotta move fast.” Fiddleford nodded.  The three men pulled on the uniforms.  To Stan’s relief, the uniform included a full-face mask. Stan opened the door.  “All right, Fiddlenerd, go make us a distraction.” Fiddleford nodded and ducked inside.
              Stan and Ford waited a few minutes, then entered as well.  The moment they stepped into the building, Stan swore softly.
              “They’ve got dampeners up.”
              “We don’t need our ESP for this, though,” Ford said.
              “If everything goes right, we don’t,” Stan corrected.  “But that’s not what I’m worried about.  Mabel and Mason are babies.  The company’s already got power dampeners up for them, at this age?  Even the kid didn’t get dampeners until she was a toddler.” Ford stilled.  Stan couldn’t see Ford’s expression, but knew the blood had to be draining from his twin’s face.
              “Shermie’s grandchildren must be something special, to warrant such protection.”
              “Yeah.”  Stan shook his head.  “We can’t think about that right now.  We’ve gotta focus on getting the kids outta here.”
              “Absolutely.”  Ford pulled out the map.  He inspected it closely.  “I know which way to go.”
              “Well, age before beauty,” Stan said, gesturing for Ford to lead the way.  Ford huffed slightly, but began to walk.
              The company’s facility was different than Stan remembered.  He wasn’t sure whether it was because they had decided to switch up the design after relocating, or because he hadn’t seen it much when he was in the facility, since he had spent so much time locked in blindingly white rooms.
              Clearly, they haven’t changed their favorite color. The tile floor, walls, and even chairs and tables they passed were all white.  Would it kill them to have one piece of furniture that doesn’t look like it was bleached?  In the sea of white, a bright yellow plaque on the wall caught Stan’s attention.  He came to a stop in front of it.  Luckily, Ford noticed before he had walked very far.
              “Stan, we have to move,” Ford hissed, backtracking to where Stan stood.  Stan gestured at the plaque.
              “Apparently, this place has an actual name,” Stan said quietly.  The plaque proudly listed the names of donors that paid to construct the new headquarters of the Cipher Paranormal Studies Corporation.
              “I’m not surprised,” Ford whispered.
              “We were never told the name.  That’s a dick move.”
              “Stan.”
              “You’re right, this is the least dickish thing they’ve done.  But I still feel like we shoulda been told the name of the place we grew up in.”
              “Stan, we need to move fast.  We don’t want Fiddleford’s distraction to go to waste,” Ford insisted.  Stan nodded. He followed Ford away from the plaque, but glanced back at it briefly, a strange feeling in his chest.  Almost like his dampened clairvoyance was trying to tell him something.
-----
              “Here,” Ford whispered, coming to a stop in front of a closed door.  A sign on the door read “Subject Incubators”.
              “Damn, that’s a creepy way to say nursery,” Stan muttered.  He pushed open the door.  Like everywhere else in the facility, the room was bright white.  The furniture was the same color, including two cribs tucked against the back wall.  “There!” The brothers rushed over to the cribs. Stan’s heart sunk.  Only one crib had a child in it.
              “This must be Mabel,” Ford said, gently lifting the baby and nestling her in his arms.  Mabel giggled loudly.
              “But where’s-” Stan started.  The door opened behind them.  They spun around.  Two employees stood in the doorway, one carrying an infant.
              “Who are you?!” one of the employees snapped. In lieu of a response, Stan bolted across the room, tackling the employee who wasn’t carrying a baby before they could raise the alarm.  He kicked the door shut.  A jolt of pain accompanied the movement, making him gasp.
              Fucking hell.  My age is catching up to me.  The employee he’d tackled quickly recovered, shoving Stan off.
              “They said nanny duty was easy,” the employee spat.
              “Well, whoever told you that was lying,” Stan retorted, grabbing the front of the nanny’s uniform and pulling them in.  He then grabbed the nightstick attached to his hip as part of the uniform and whacked the nanny over the head with it. The nanny dropped to the floor, unconscious.  Stan got to his feet, prepared to attack the second nanny.  Instead, he saw Ford holding both babies and standing over the second nanny’s unconscious body.  “Huh.”
              “Please take one of the infants,” Ford said, panting. Stan took Mason from him.  “Thank you.”
              “Good work, Ford.”
              “Save the praise for after we’ve left the building,” Ford said.
              “Fair enough.”  Stan opened the door.  He caught sight of movement at the far end of the hall.  “Shit, more nannies are headed this way.  We gotta go.”  Stan and Ford sprinted out of the room, running until they had left the nursery far behind.  They came to a stop, breathing hard.  “Okay.” Stan gently cradled Mason in his arms, muscle memory from Wendy kicking in.  “We got the babies.  We got away from those evil nannies.  Now what?”
              “You’re the clairvoyant,” Ford snapped, holding Mabel close to his chest.
              “I can’t really do the clairvoyance thing if they’ve got power dampeners going,” Stan snapped back.
              “Fine, fine.”  Ford looked around.  “Should we go the way we came?”
              “Wh- you’re the one with the map!”
              “…I dropped it,” Ford mumbled.
              “You dropped it?!”
              “It was either the map or Mabel.  I chose to drop a piece of paper over our infant relative,” Ford said snidely.  Stan rolled his eyes.  “You helped to draw the map.  Do you remember anything from it?”
              “Not really, no.”  Stan looked up and down the hall, yearning for the familiar sense of churning in his guts to guide him.  “Maybe…that way?”  He turned left, going up the hall.  Ford followed.  “If the power dampeners weren’t up, this’d be a piece of cake.”
              “We might rely upon our powers too much,” Ford said quietly.
              “You might be right about…that…”  Stan trailed off.  They had reached a dead end.  A single, open door was in front of them.  Through that door, something was glowing.
              “What is that?” Ford asked.  He walked into the room.
              “Stanford, we’ve gotta get these kids outta here!  We can’t waste time trying to figure out whatever bullshit the company is doing now!” Stan hissed.
              “Oh, my god,” Ford whispered.  Stifling a groan, Stan entered the room.  His jaw dropped.  The room was massive.
              Well, it’s gotta be, to have room for…that. There was an enormous structure in the middle of the room, an upside-down metal triangle.  A circle was cut out of the center of the triangle, bordered by strange symbols.  Two metal circular platforms stood in front of the triangle.  An identical pair stuck to the ceiling like stalactites.  The platforms glowed a faint blue, as did lines of lights along the edges of the triangle.
              “What is that?” Stan asked.
              “My ride out of here,” a voice boomed.  The door slammed shut.  Stan and Ford spun around.  They were still alone.  “And you boys, as well as the other members of your deliciously powerful family, are my ticket.”
              “Okay, first, it’s gross as hell to call babies ‘delicious’,” Stan said.  “Second, who the fuck are you?”
              “I’ve had many names,” the voice said vaguely. Ford elbowed Stan.  When Stan looked, Ford pointed at a loudspeaker on the wall, from which the voice was coming.  Stan nodded.  “But the one you’ll recognize is Cipher.”  Stan’s blood ran cold.
              Cipher.  Cipher Corp.  The company’s real name.
              “Cipher,” Ford said.
              “That’s right!” Cipher said cheerfully.
              “Are you the boss of this whole fucked up shindig?” Stan asked.
              “Obviously,” Cipher scoffed.  “I have to admit, it was a delight to watch you grow up.”  The ice in Stan’s veins was promptly replaced with fury.
              “You stole us from our family!” he snarled. Cipher sighed.
              “I took you in,” he said, sounding disappointed in Stan.  “Your parents didn’t want you.  They didn’t want either of you.”
              “You-” Stan started.  Ford put a hand on his shoulder.
              “Cipher, what do you want with us?” he asked.
              “I already told you.  You’re part of my triumphant return home.  You, your twin, those darling children you’re holding, and even that young lady you think of as your sister are part of this.”  Stan heard a hitch in Ford’s breath.
              “Leave the kid alone,” he snapped.  “She’s been through enough!”
              “I’m not sure that she has,” Cipher said. Stan opened his mouth to shoot a retort, but before he could, there was a loud explosion.  Ford stumbled back a few steps, nearly falling.  The loudspeaker crackled.  Stan knew what had happened.  He knew.
              “Cipher’s gone,” Stan said confidently.  Ford looked at him.  “He probably went to find out what happened to knock out the power dampeners.  Now, let’s get the hell outta here before he comes back.”
              “We don’t have the map.”
              “We don’t need one now.”  Stan furrowed his brow, focusing as hard as possible on what route they should take to get out.  “The shortest route has a bunch of guards.  Looks like you’ll get plenty of chances to practice that telepathic attack of yours.”
              “At this point, I’ll take anything over more physical exertion,” Ford muttered.  “Lead the way.”
-----
              Exhausted and sweaty, but still alive, Stan and Ford finally arrived at the clearing Dan was waiting in.  Fiddleford was already there, pacing back and forth anxiously.
              “We’re here,” Stan croaked, removing his mask. Ford removed his as well. Fiddleford and Dan’s heads shot up.
              “Oh, thank the Lord,” Fiddleford said, resting a hand over his heart.  “I was startin’ to get mighty worried.  Did the distraction help ya or was it too late?”
              “It was perfectly timed,” Ford said.  He and Stan walked over to the truck. Fiddleford sighed in relief.
              “Good.  I had some issues tryin’ to decide how to set up the distraction.”
              “It worked out great,” Stan said.  Fiddleford grimaced.
              “Not really.”
              “What do you mean?”
              “He DROPPED the doohickey he made with my WIFE’S magic,” Dan rumbled.  Fiddleford glared at Dan.
              “I told ya, that ain’t how the lil tie I made works!”  He looked back at Stan and Ford.  “But…yes, I did drop it in the chaos.  Ya don’t think that’ll be a problem later on, will it?”
              “Of course it’s gonna be a fucking problem!” Stan burst out.  “You just handed over the kid’s powers to the company!”  Fiddleford quailed.  Ford put a hand on Stan’s shoulder.
              “Stanley.  It’s okay. That’s something we can deal with at a later point.  Right now, we need to be glad that everyone got out unharmed.”
              “Yes, how are the lil ones?” Fiddleford asked.
              “Surprisingly quiet,” Ford said.  Mason abruptly began to fuss in Stan’s arms.  “Never mind.”
              “They had power dampeners on for these little gremlins,” Stan said quietly.  Fiddleford cocked his head.
              “Well, ain’t that just their policy?”
              “Not for babies.  They put in the power dampeners when they decide that someone’s ESP is getting strong enough to cause problems,” Stan explained.  “Your sister only got power dampeners when she was a toddler, and you know how powerful she is.”
              “So these lil sweeties ‘re goin’ to have some strong ESP,” Fiddleford remarked, peering at Mason and Mabel.
              “That would be the logical conclusion, yes,” Ford said.  Fiddleford grimaced.  “We can finish this conversation at Dan’s place, I think.”
              “Yeah,” Stan said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if the company decided to start combing the woods looking for us.”  He felt a nudge at the back of his mind and let the knowledge wash over him.  “Yep. They’re already coming.  Let’s get outta here.”  Dan got into the truck.
              “Took the WORDS out of my MOUTH.”
-----
              Shermie and Wendy cooed over Mason and Mabel, who were buckled into carriers, ready to be brought home to California.
              “They’re so little!” Wendy gushed.  Shermie smiled at her.
              “Yes, dear, they’re newborns.  When your younger brother is born, he’ll be as small as them.”  Wendy’s eyes widened to the size of saucers.
              “Whoa,” she whispered.  Shermie chuckled.
              “Hey, uh, Sherm, can we talk to you in private?” Stan asked.
              “Sure,” Shermie said.  “Fiddleford, Dan, mind keeping an eye on the babies?”
              “No problem,” Fiddleford chirped.  Dan nodded.  Shermie followed Stan and Ford outside.
              “What’s going on?” Shermie asked.  Stan crossed his arms.  He looked at Ford, waiting for him to start the conversation.  Ford sighed.
              “The company already installed and turned on power dampeners for Mason and Mabel,” he said.  “Power dampeners are expensive to maintain, so they’re only turned on when necessary.  The fact that they’d already turned them on with Mason and Mabel being so young…” Shermie paled.
              “They’re going to be particularly powerful, aren’t they?” he whispered.  Stan and Ford nodded.  “Oh, no.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I’ll- I’ll have to warn my son and daughter-in-law.  But even with the warning, I don’t know how well they’ll be able to handle it.”
              “I’m going to go to California,” Stan said. Shermie stared at him.  “Ford and I realized that one of us should stick near you and the kids, to keep an eye on them, and we decided that I would.  I don’t really have much of an attachment to any particular place.  Not to mention, I can see danger coming from a mile away.”
              “Stan, that would be fantastic,” Shermie said, audibly relieved.  Stan shrugged.
              “It’s important to look out for family.”  He smiled.  “Even if you’ve only just met them.”  Shermie smiled back.
              “Still.  Thank you.” He glanced back at the cabin. “What about Wendy and her mother? They could probably use some protection. I know that Dan is rather formidable, but…”
              “I’ll be staying in Gravity Falls,” Ford interjected. “Stan and I saw something in the company’s facility that concerned us, so I won’t just be staying to keep an eye on Wendy and the kid, but also to find out what I can about what we saw.”
              “What did you see?” Shermie whispered.  Ford shook his head.
              “I honestly don’t know.  But it can’t be good.”
              “If I get any bad vibes or if Ford or the kid give me a call, I’ll head up to help out,” Stan said.  He grinned at Ford.  “But Ford proved he can hold his own today, so I think I can leave him here without too many problems.”  The door to the cabin opened.  Wendy sprinted out.  She tugged on Shermie’s pant leg.  Shermie looked down at her.
              “Yes, dear?” he asked.
              “Mr. Shermie, the babies laughed!” she enthused. Shermie’s eyes widened.
              “Well, that sounds like something I should be there for!”  He looked at Stan and Ford.  “Are you going to come inside as well?”
              “In a moment,” Ford said.  “Stan and I need to have a quick conversation.”  Stan nodded.
              “All right,” Shermie said mildly.  He took Wendy’s hand and went inside with her. Stan and Ford looked at each other.
              “Do you really feel comfortable being on your own in California with Shermie, Mason, and Mabel?” Ford asked quietly.
              “I’ll figure it out.  I don’t foresee any big problems,” Stan said.  Ford sighed.
              “Still.”
              “What about you?” Stan asked.  “Are you sure you can handle the kid and Wendy and the company?”  He scowled. “Or, I guess, the Cipher Corporation?”
              “I’ll be fine.  Like you said, the second there’s any issues, I’ll contact you for help,” Ford said smoothly.  Stan felt a nudge at the back of his mind.  When the information came, it made him raise an eyebrow in surprise.  “What?”
              “This town has more secrets than just the company. You better be careful.”
              “I will,” Ford promised.  Stan snorted.  He turned around to head back inside.
              “Ford, I don’t need clairvoyance to know that you just lied through your teeth.”
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the-nysh · 4 years
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ngl i rlly dont like that the redraw got rid of gremlin!tats. murata finds every single opportunity to oversexualise the female characters even at the cost of character and comedy
While I love me some gremlin Tatsu, who shows when she’s self-assured without getting serious yet, much like Saitama’s gag-egg faces, it’s also oddly true Murata scrapped all those panels (I’m gonna miss em!) in favor of completely redrawing her to look more ~impressive~ I suppose, after he’s long since drawn all her ultimate attacks against the base... Perhaps looking back in hindsight, he felt unsatisfied that her chibi forms were inadequate showcases of her power and...other assets besides. Now, I’m not here for purity wank, but I did have several thoughts/reactions upon seeing the new panels.
Old (left) vs newly revised (right)
So it’s been nearly two years since Murata first drew this ch (which appears to have been moved up from ch106 to ch113 as well) so not only have several events + characters been rearranged that we see a different group reacting to Saitama’s Rover punch, but Murata’s tastes have evolved since then too. Most notably, we’ve witnessed him gradually become an ass man over time (following Zombieman’s and Flash’s of course, heck even the girl merc this ch got another ass shot), so seeing this new panel of floating Tatsu’s rear honestly made me lol.
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Because *sighs* it’s unsurprisingly classic Murata. :P It seems we lost Atomic Samurai here and....(!!) wait a sec...Bang lost the definition on his pecs?! Oh no. D: His traded for Darkshine’s on this page I guess, but also there you go - how current Murata’s tastes exchange a pair of tits for an ass. :P
This next one honestly made me go ooooh in awe, since she’s now glowing with the similar display of power as shown in her recent moon shot. It now has that comparable vibe in aura, even though yes we sadly lost her classic unassuming gremlin form. 
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The panel’s exchange in favor of showing Tatsu prepared to get right down to exterminating business as usual, visibly as the most powerful esper without question now, it seems.
So this one I honestly felt was an improvement over the old panel:
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Since I always felt the old one (on the left) was an unnaturally serpentine way for her to stand (warped kinda awkwardly), but now she’s standing firm with no nonsense. Her hand on hip pose was changed to the previous page (above) as she made her entrance before Gyoro started talking. Now she silently crosses her arms in opposition as Gyoro monologues. I’m fine with this change.
This next one is a minor change, but it differs slightly in body language:
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Before, Tatsu was more coldly detached and unimpressed at Gyoro’s words, but now after making their formal introductions, she’s more annoyed, scoffing and dismissive instead. Like ‘let’s get this over with as my full powers aren’t necessary here anymore,’ it feels. Whichever panel you prefer is subjective, but her reactions and the way she holds herself in front of the enemy more naturally follow the flow of their conversation here, I think. 
So if we take the first revised page (while mourning the loss of Bang’s tits) as a side effect of current Murata’s whims (which I can honestly laugh off), looking at the other 3 pages as a whole, old gremlin Tatsu was characteristically fun to see yes, but she wasn’t serious about confronting the boss from the start. Now she enters posturing/displaying her power while interrogating, then lets up (literally turns off the aura) after their transaction of words leaves her unimpressed. And if Murata doesn’t change their upcoming ‘fight’ after this ch, then Tatsu goes full gag chibi form to even greater unimpressed gremlin effect later. So while Murata’s perfectionism decisions can be fickle (not knowing which ones he’ll redraw or find unsatisfactory) with some obvious trade offs according to his tastes, it’s also not so clear cut it’s an overall cost to character & comedy either. Since I felt the third page was a definite improvement. So for now I guess the reception depends on reader to reader, but we won’t see how it all flows together (how much the changes are worth it) until the next volume’s out.    
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captainelsaeverdeen · 4 years
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I like me better when I’m with you.
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Okay so! I never considered writing on this blog, but I just had the cutest idea e v e r and I decided to do something about it. I used to write a lot but I stopped to publish anything years ago. Maybe it’s time to come back. Who knows! For now I just wanted to see if someone would like it! English is not my first language so pretty, pretty please forgive me if you find any mistakes :( 
summary: based on ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’. Y/N Henderson used to be in love a couple of times. This time she’s sure it’s something bigger, something serious. Her love for Jonathan Byers is unlimited, untamed and endless. At least she thought so. You can read Part 2 Here.
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We knew that it was wrong. That he was betrothed to my best friend. But if this isn’t what he wanted then why did he come to the field of desire? It was faded,  that we should meet like this. So when his lips touch my neck to put a gentle kiss on it… 
“Mom asks you to wash the dishes” Dustin was standing in the doorway of your room, smiling silly. He presented his full teeth with pride, moving his eyebrows in a funny way. “It’s not my turn” you said and slowly turned over a page of book your brother interrupted you from reading. “Yours, if you’re planning on going out with Nancy and Jonathan today” he shrugged his shoulders innocently. “Excuse me?” you turned your head so fast that your neck hurt. “Says who?” 
“Says me. You forced me to vacuum last week when I wanted to go to the arcade, but it was your turn. So if you don’t want to be late, you better hurry”  “I hate you” you sighned putting the book down. You ran you fingers through the cover of it with two lovers, leaning towards each other just before the kiss. Dustin was still standing in the doorway. 
“Do they not mind when you are going to their dates?” He asked suddenly. “They don’t call it ‘dates’ when I’m with them. They have time for each other, but we’re still friends. Just because they’re together doesn’t mean… that I’ll stop being their friend” you said. “Whatever you say. I think that’s weird. Totally weird. I wouldn’t want to take Mike or Lucas or Will if I wanted to meet my girl”. “No one asked for your opinion, you abominable little shit!” you screamed going to the kitchen, aggressively putting plates in the sink. They didn’t deserve such terrible treatment, but Dustin was right. It was weird. Weird as fuck. 
After the infamous party at Tina’s last Halloween night, when Nancy broke up with Steve Harrington, and rumours about them didn’t go silent for a good month she and Jonathan became extremely close. You always spent time with them separately. When Nancy and her boyfriend wanted to be alone, you would watch movies on the couch at Joyce Byers’ house. When Jonathan promised Will to take him for a ride in the car listening to The Clash, Nancy combed your hair as Donna Summer filled her room with her songs. But after Halloween, everything changed. Nancy started sitting between you and Jonathan as you guys were watching ‘The Shining’ with a bowl of popcorn. And Jonathan knew ‘I Feel Love’ by heart, although he hated Donna Summer. Something was wrong. Something was diffrent. 
By Christmas, everyone was sure that Jonathan and Nancy started dating. They spent Christmas Eve together and then announced their relationship to you together. And that’s not when your heart started beating faster when you saw him. Not when they were holding hands, not when they kissed every time before the car started from the driveway when they came to your house. Not until Nancy Wheeler took your seat on the couch at Joyce’s house. It wasn’t until then that something unimaginable, something wrong happened, something that should never have happened. You started to have, a little, small, tiny crush on your best friend.
And it wasn’t that you were jealous of Nancy. She was a great girl, smart and deserving of a wise, loving boy, which Jonathan was. But the heart is a treacherous tool. You could leave it with a cat for a month, thinking everything would be all right, and when you get back, you’d find that it threw it out the window. Because it can never be trusted. Admitting your feelings was not an option. You could lose Nancy or Jonathan. Well, Robin and Dustin would still be staying by your side, of course, but losing someone close hurts too much. Too much to be dealt with by an organ that throws the cat out the window. So smiling is okay, pretending everything’s okay is okay. As long as no one guesses and stupid feelings go away.
Not for the first time, right?
“Y/N, honey, what are you still doing here? Jonathan’s here” Mom came to the kitchen. “Ask the youngest” you rolled my eyes and kissed her on the cheek, running out of the house. Nancy pressed the alarm button a couple of times, dropping the window on the passenger side. “I don’t think you’re so excited to see Jason Voorhees for the fourth time since you’re two minutes late” she said, putting her wrist with the watch on it out the window.
“Maybe if my brother weren’t such a troublesome goddamn gremlin, you guys wouldn’t have to wait for so long” you fastened your belt and smiled at Jonathan. “Tell me about it” Nancy rolled her eyes. Her hand was clenching on Jonathan’s hands, their intertwined fingers were on his thigh. He was probably just letting her go to change gear, to grab her hand back, wanting to touch her. You smiled slightly to yourself. “I’m a little offended” you hit the back of Nancy’s chair a little bit. “You questioned my love for Jason, knowing he’s the man of my dreams. I wouldn’t miss this movie now or ever”.
“Man, you have a strange taste in men” Jonathan twisted his head.
Oh boy, if you only knew.
“Who’s gonna pick them for you when I’m out of college?” Nancy said quietly. When you were a year younger than them, you had to reckon they would be gone soon, but the thought still was terrible. You opened the window and put my hand out, feeling the cold wind on your fingers. “Robin’s doing great” you smiled. “She likes Michael Myers”.
“I’m begging you. He’s not even half as terrible as Freddie” Jonathan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and my father is Stephen King” you snorted. Nancy smiled a little. “And Robin’s driving terribly” Jonathan got ripped off. “Whatever my life depends on it, I’d rather give my car to Carol Perkins, she can at least turn around.
“I gotta get off so you two can both stop making fun of her?” “Oh no. We don’t want Jason to get you here… on a dark road… near the woods…” Nancy wiped out and turned to you with her hands ready to attack. You hit her hands to turn around so she didn’t even think to touch or tickle you. “You can ride with me” Jonathan shrugged his arm. “I like Robin, but your life is in danger when she’s behind the wheel. I’m not going anywhere yet.”
There it was. The stomach’s fickles, the heat on your cheeks and the smile and the awful awareness of how wrong it was. How inappropriate and how unfair it was to Nancy, who sat so close to you, that she could count your moles if she turned around. But before she even thought about him, he was yours. Not exactly, of course. But when Will went missing, he didn’t turn to her for help first. He wasn’t at her door in the middle of the night, rambling about how his mom is getting crazy. He was always a lonely ship drifting in the dark sea, and you were his anchor, which drifted in time to hold him.
Well, once Jason had killed everyone he was supposed to kill, and for most of the movie, Jonathan and Nancy spent most of the time giggling and whispering to each other, after looking at their inseparably intertwined hands, it was time to go home.
It’s not that you wanted to steal your best friend’s boyfriend. You were super happy for Nancy. She deserves a great guy like Jonathan. So it was time for another letter. Fifth, if you believe your stupid heart. “How’s the movie?” Dustin asked when I walked by his room. He was only wearing one sock and reading a comic book. “Didn’t you faint from the excess corn syrup blood?”
“I’m not you” you showed him your tongue. “I didn’t forget about the dishes!” “Oh, you did! The pan is still dirty!” Dustin screamed, but I already locked the door to my room and sat at my desk, hiding my face in my hands. After a few awfully long seconds and listening to the bang of an owl outside the window, I pulled the card out of the drawer looking for a black pen. 
Dear Jonathan Byers… 
These letters are your biggest secret. You weren’t going to send the letter, it was just for you to understand how you were feeling. But really, you guess it was mainly about how sometimes you imagined what it would’ve been like if you’d realized how you felt about them sooner. To all of them. There are five of them: Chris from summer camp, Stanley from the homecoming, Ralph from the neighborhood who lived across the street for just three months, Steve Harrington from high school, and Jonathan. 
You’ve seen Chris once in you life, for two weeks in the riverside forest. Stanley was the only one who asked you to dance, seeing you sitting alone on a bench. Ralph moved into Hawkins a few years ago, but his parents decided to go back to Florida. Steve… well, he became quite a different person when you went to high school. And Jonathan… Jonathan is still an infinite chapter. A chapter in book that’s too beautiful to finish reading it early.
You write a letter when you have a crush so intense that you don’t know what else to do. Rereading your letters reminds you of how powerful your emotions can be, how all-consuming. You hide them between the vinyls on a shelf above the bed, where no one will ever find them. Robin would say you’re being dramatic, but drama can be fun… 
“What are you doing?” Dustin asked suddenly, entering the room without knocking. “Nothing” you smiled, covering the unfinished part of the letter with your elbow. “Your room is a mess” brother looked around. “And listen, about that pan-”
“Good night, Dustin. I hope you will be dreaming of something nice” you smiled sweetly, showing him the way out. It wasn’t until he left that you finished pouring your feelings onto the paper that you put the letter into the envelope, addressed it and put it between the vinyl, where there were four similar envelopes. Each one was for another boy, who would always be a part of you.
Yeah, drama can be fun. Just as long nobody else knows about it.
-
“So you’re telling me” Robin stopped halfway down the track. She didn’t care about getting a pass at the PE, anyway, you too. The coach sent you an indulgent look, and your friend just shrugged her shoulders. The other girls ran past you, rubbing your shoulders, but besides that, they didn’t pay much attention to you. “That they were on another date, taking you with them again? Why don’t you just say no to them?”
“I don’t know” Robin groaned and grabbed her side. “What’s going on?” “My body reacts badly to physical effort” she muttered and sat on the treadmill, pulling her legs out. “Some running won’t hurt you” Becky Miller snorted, running alongside us. “Running is humiliating” Robin didn’t even look at her. “Dude, you have to stop this. Every fucking time you come to me and tell me how badly you’re feeling, you’re the one who’s responsible for it. Tell him finally how you feel. Nothing’s gonna happen. There will be no earthquake. The aliens won’t find their way to Earth. And you will finally fall asleep and free yourself from that strange triangle”.
“I don’t want it to be weird between us” you shruged your shoulders.”If I push them off, I’ll start losing them. They’ll find that the two of us are actually better off and… forget how cool it used to be.”
“That’s why relationships sucks” Robin moaned and grabbed your hand. Coach had already started walking towards us, but he was still far away. “But hey… Nancy is your friend. Jonathan is your friend. They care about you. They love you. Maybe not as much as I do, but they do. You don’t have to worry. Everything’s gonna be okay, just… just don’t let it break you. Okay?”
“Okay” you smiled. Robin smiled too and turned her back, frowning her eyebrows. “What’s Harrington doing here? He’s all sweaty and, oh, my God, he looks gross, but shouldn’t he have basketball practice now?”
“Hey, Henderson!” Steve has spoken to you. You lifted your head and swallowed. Steve hasn’t talked to you since you guys were thirteen. Damn thirteen. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad this looks like?” you asked when your hands started shaking. “I’m hovering somewhere in the high thirties” Robin responded quietly, standing up. “Me?” you made sure and Steve nodded his head. His hair was in terrible disarray, but although it was wet and stuck to his forehead, it still looked impressive. He wasn’t angry or upset, which was good, but… but he didn’t look happy either.
“If you need me, I’ll be in the nurse’s office” Robink winked and walked away.  “Look, I just wanted to say that I really…” Steve licked his lips and wiped his forehead with the palm of his hand. What the hell was going on here. “Goddamn, this is the first time I’ve been in situation like this… I appreciate it, but it’s never gonna happen”. 
“I’m sorry, what?” You asked. Why did Robin have to leave? Why did she have to leave you? “From what I remember that kiss was hot, you know, for being in seventh grade” Steve said slowly, leading the eye somewhere outside of you, just to avoid looking you in the eye. “And I think it’s really cool you think I have golden specks in my eyes. And that my hair is gorgeous. But this is a strange moment for me… I just broke up with Nancy, you know… Becky is… she’s fine, she seems fine. I may not be ready at all…”
You stopped listening to him and looked at his hands. You don’t know what you expected, maybe they will shake as much as yours, but no. He was holding the envelope. A white, slightly old envelope, with his name written with your writing. With your pen. And your hand.
“At first I thought it was just Dustin’s stupid joke, but that dipshit probably doesn’t even know how to write…” Steve kept on talking, but your mind was somewhere else. It went all the way from school to your house, tossing the whole room in it’s memory, wondering hhow did the letters get in sight. How did they even reach the people they were never supposed to reach?
“I don’t want to be an asshole, and I certainly don’t want you… I don’t know, to feel bad about it, but…” Steve’s voice was drilling into your brain, and your stomach started to shrink painfully. Maybe it’d have managed, if it wasn’t for the fact that Jonathan was just going to the pitch, and he also was holding the envelope.
Oh, no.
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stevenismyboy · 4 years
Text
I like me better when I’m with you.
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This fic was posted first on my main blog which is captainelsaeverdeen. I started my own blog only for my imagines and I moved all my work from there to here. hope you guys would enjoy my work! <3
summary: based on ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’. Y/N Henderson used to be in love a couple of times. This time she’s sure it’s something bigger, something serious. Her love for Jonathan Byers is unlimited, untamed and endless. At least she thought so. You can find my Masterlist here. 
-
We knew that it was wrong. That he was betrothed to my best friend. But if this isn’t what he wanted then why did he come to the field of desire? It was faded,  that we should meet like this. So when his lips touch my neck to put a gentle kiss on it…
“Mom asks you to wash the dishes” Dustin was standing in the doorway of your room, smiling silly. He presented his full teeth with pride, moving his eyebrows in a funny way. “It’s not my turn” you said and slowly turned over a page of book your brother interrupted you from reading. “Yours, if you’re planning on going out with Nancy and Jonathan today” he shrugged his shoulders innocently. “Excuse me?” you turned your head so fast that your neck hurt. “Says who?”
“Says me. You forced me to vacuum last week when I wanted to go to the arcade, but it was your turn. So if you don’t want to be late, you better hurry” “I hate you” you sighned putting the book down. You ran you fingers through the cover of it with two lovers, leaning towards each other just before the kiss. Dustin was still standing in the doorway.
“Do they not mind when you are going to their dates?” He asked suddenly. “They don’t call it ‘dates’ when I’m with them. They have time for each other, but we’re still friends. Just because they’re together doesn’t mean… that I’ll stop being their friend” you said. “Whatever you say. I think that’s weird. Totally weird. I wouldn’t want to take Mike or Lucas or Will if I wanted to meet my girl”. “No one asked for your opinion, you abominable little shit!” you screamed going to the kitchen, aggressively putting plates in the sink. They didn’t deserve such terrible treatment, but Dustin was right. It was weird. Weird as fuck.
After the infamous party at Tina’s last Halloween night, when Nancy broke up with Steve Harrington, and rumours about them didn’t go silent for a good month she and Jonathan became extremely close. You always spent time with them separately. When Nancy and her boyfriend wanted to be alone, you would watch movies on the couch at Joyce Byers’ house. When Jonathan promised Will to take him for a ride in the car listening to The Clash, Nancy combed your hair as Donna Summer filled her room with her songs. But after Halloween, everything changed. Nancy started sitting between you and Jonathan as you guys were watching ‘The Shining’ with a bowl of popcorn. And Jonathan knew ‘I Feel Love’ by heart, although he hated Donna Summer. Something was wrong. Something was diffrent.
By Christmas, everyone was sure that Jonathan and Nancy started dating. They spent Christmas Eve together and then announced their relationship to you together. And that’s not when your heart started beating faster when you saw him. Not when they were holding hands, not when they kissed every time before the car started from the driveway when they came to your house. Not until Nancy Wheeler took your seat on the couch at Joyce’s house. It wasn’t until then that something unimaginable, something wrong happened, something that should never have happened. You started to have, a little, small, tiny crush on your best friend.
And it wasn’t that you were jealous of Nancy. She was a great girl, smart and deserving of a wise, loving boy, which Jonathan was. But the heart is a treacherous tool. You could leave it with a cat for a month, thinking everything would be all right, and when you get back, you’d find that it threw it out the window. Because it can never be trusted. Admitting your feelings was not an option. You could lose Nancy or Jonathan. Well, Robin and Dustin would still be staying by your side, of course, but losing someone close hurts too much. Too much to be dealt with by an organ that throws the cat out the window. So smiling is okay, pretending everything’s okay is okay. As long as no one guesses and stupid feelings go away.
Not for the first time, right?
“Y/N, honey, what are you still doing here? Jonathan’s here” Mom came to the kitchen. “Ask the youngest” you rolled my eyes and kissed her on the cheek, running out of the house. Nancy pressed the alarm button a couple of times, dropping the window on the passenger side. “I don’t think you’re so excited to see Jason Voorhees for the fourth time since you’re two minutes late” she said, putting her wrist with the watch on it out the window.
“Maybe if my brother weren’t such a troublesome goddamn gremlin, you guys wouldn’t have to wait for so long” you fastened your belt and smiled at Jonathan. “Tell me about it” Nancy rolled her eyes. Her hand was clenching on Jonathan’s hands, their intertwined fingers were on his thigh. He was probably just letting her go to change gear, to grab her hand back, wanting to touch her. You smiled slightly to yourself. “I’m a little offended” you hit the back of Nancy’s chair a little bit. “You questioned my love for Jason, knowing he’s the man of my dreams. I wouldn’t miss this movie now or ever”.
“Man, you have a strange taste in men” Jonathan twisted his head.
Oh boy, if you only knew.
“Who’s gonna pick them for you when I’m out of college?” Nancy said quietly. When you were a year younger than them, you had to reckon they would be gone soon, but the thought still was terrible. You opened the window and put my hand out, feeling the cold wind on your fingers. “Robin’s doing great” you smiled. “She likes Michael Myers”.
“I’m begging you. He’s not even half as terrible as Freddie” Jonathan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and my father is Stephen King” you snorted. Nancy smiled a little. “And Robin’s driving terribly” Jonathan got ripped off. “Whatever my life depends on it, I’d rather give my car to Carol Perkins, she can at least turn around.
“I gotta get off so you two can both stop making fun of her?” “Oh no. We don’t want Jason to get you here… on a dark road… near the woods…” Nancy wiped out and turned to you with her hands ready to attack. You hit her hands to turn around so she didn’t even think to touch or tickle you. “You can ride with me” Jonathan shrugged his arm. “I like Robin, but your life is in danger when she’s behind the wheel. I’m not going anywhere yet.”
There it was. The stomach’s fickles, the heat on your cheeks and the smile and the awful awareness of how wrong it was. How inappropriate and how unfair it was to Nancy, who sat so close to you, that she could count your moles if she turned around. But before she even thought about him, he was yours. Not exactly, of course. But when Will went missing, he didn’t turn to her for help first. He wasn’t at her door in the middle of the night, rambling about how his mom is getting crazy. He was always a lonely ship drifting in the dark sea, and you were his anchor, which drifted in time to hold him.
Well, once Jason had killed everyone he was supposed to kill, and for most of the movie, Jonathan and Nancy spent most of the time giggling and whispering to each other, after looking at their inseparably intertwined hands, it was time to go home.
It’s not that you wanted to steal your best friend’s boyfriend. You were super happy for Nancy. She deserves a great guy like Jonathan. So it was time for another letter. Fifth, if you believe your stupid heart. “How’s the movie?” Dustin asked when I walked by his room. He was only wearing one sock and reading a comic book. “Didn’t you faint from the excess corn syrup blood?”
“I’m not you” you showed him your tongue. “I didn’t forget about the dishes!” “Oh, you did! The pan is still dirty!” Dustin screamed, but I already locked the door to my room and sat at my desk, hiding my face in my hands. After a few awfully long seconds and listening to the bang of an owl outside the window, I pulled the card out of the drawer looking for a black pen.
Dear Jonathan Byers…
These letters are your biggest secret. You weren’t going to send the letter, it was just for you to understand how you were feeling. But really, you guess it was mainly about how sometimes you imagined what it would’ve been like if you’d realized how you felt about them sooner. To all of them. There are five of them: Chris from summer camp, Stanley from the homecoming, Ralph from the neighborhood who lived across the street for just three months, Steve Harrington from high school, and Jonathan.
You’ve seen Chris once in you life, for two weeks in the riverside forest. Stanley was the only one who asked you to dance, seeing you sitting alone on a bench. Ralph moved into Hawkins a few years ago, but his parents decided to go back to Florida. Steve… well, he became quite a different person when you went to high school. And Jonathan… Jonathan is still an infinite chapter. A chapter in book that’s too beautiful to finish reading it early.
You write a letter when you have a crush so intense that you don’t know what else to do. Rereading your letters reminds you of how powerful your emotions can be, how all-consuming. You hide them between the vinyls on a shelf above the bed, where no one will ever find them. Robin would say you’re being dramatic, but drama can be fun…
“What are you doing?” Dustin asked suddenly, entering the room without knocking. “Nothing” you smiled, covering the unfinished part of the letter with your elbow. “Your room is a mess” brother looked around. “And listen, about that pan-”
“Good night, Dustin. I hope you will be dreaming of something nice” you smiled sweetly, showing him the way out. It wasn’t until he left that you finished pouring your feelings onto the paper that you put the letter into the envelope, addressed it and put it between the vinyl, where there were four similar envelopes. Each one was for another boy, who would always be a part of you.
Yeah, drama can be fun. Just as long nobody else knows about it.
-
“So you’re telling me” Robin stopped halfway down the track. She didn’t care about getting a pass at the PE, anyway, you too. The coach sent you an indulgent look, and your friend just shrugged her shoulders. The other girls ran past you, rubbing your shoulders, but besides that, they didn’t pay much attention to you. “That they were on another date, taking you with them again? Why don’t you just say no to them?”
“I don’t know” Robin groaned and grabbed her side. “What’s going on?” “My body reacts badly to physical effort” she muttered and sat on the treadmill, pulling her legs out. “Some running won’t hurt you” Becky Miller snorted, running alongside us. “Running is humiliating” Robin didn’t even look at her. “Dude, you have to stop this. Every fucking time you come to me and tell me how badly you’re feeling, you’re the one who’s responsible for it. Tell him finally how you feel. Nothing’s gonna happen. There will be no earthquake. The aliens won’t find their way to Earth. And you will finally fall asleep and free yourself from that strange triangle”.
“I don’t want it to be weird between us” you shruged your shoulders.”If I push them off, I’ll start losing them. They’ll find that the two of us are actually better off and… forget how cool it used to be.”
“That’s why relationships sucks” Robin moaned and grabbed your hand. Coach had already started walking towards us, but he was still far away. “But hey… Nancy is your friend. Jonathan is your friend. They care about you. They love you. Maybe not as much as I do, but they do. You don’t have to worry. Everything’s gonna be okay, just… just don’t let it break you. Okay?”
“Okay” you smiled. Robin smiled too and turned her back, frowning her eyebrows. “What’s Harrington doing here? He’s all sweaty and, oh, my God, he looks gross, but shouldn’t he have basketball practice now?”
“Hey, Henderson!” Steve has spoken to you. You lifted your head and swallowed. Steve hasn’t talked to you since you guys were thirteen. Damn thirteen. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad this looks like?” you asked when your hands started shaking. “I’m hovering somewhere in the high thirties” Robin responded quietly, standing up. “Me?” you made sure and Steve nodded his head. His hair was in terrible disarray, but although it was wet and stuck to his forehead, it still looked impressive. He wasn’t angry or upset, which was good, but… but he didn’t look happy either.
“If you need me, I’ll be in the nurse’s office” Robink winked and walked away. “Look, I just wanted to say that I really…” Steve licked his lips and wiped his forehead with the palm of his hand. What the hell was going on here. “Goddamn, this is the first time I’ve been in situation like this… I appreciate it, but it’s never gonna happen”.
“I’m sorry, what?” You asked. Why did Robin have to leave? Why did she have to leave you? “From what I remember that kiss was hot, you know, for being in seventh grade” Steve said slowly, leading the eye somewhere outside of you, just to avoid looking you in the eye. “And I think it’s really cool you think I have golden specks in my eyes. And that my hair is gorgeous. But this is a strange moment for me… I just broke up with Nancy, you know… Becky is… she’s fine, she seems fine. I may not be ready at all…”
You stopped listening to him and looked at his hands. You don’t know what you expected, maybe they will shake as much as yours, but no. He was holding the envelope. A white, slightly old envelope, with his name written with your writing. With your pen. And your hand.
“At first I thought it was just Dustin’s stupid joke, but that dipshit probably doesn’t even know how to write…” Steve kept on talking, but your mind was somewhere else. It went all the way from school to your house, tossing the whole room in it’s memory, wondering hhow did the letters get in sight. How did they even reach the people they were never supposed to reach?
“I don’t want to be an asshole, and I certainly don’t want you… I don’t know, to feel bad about it, but…” Steve’s voice was drilling into your brain, and your stomach started to shrink painfully. Maybe it’d have managed, if it wasn’t for the fact that Jonathan was just going to the pitch, and he also was holding the envelope.
Oh, no.
Taglist: @krazykatkay​ @mochminnie​ @ghostineleven​ @the-almond-dinger​ @sydzygy​ @queen1054​
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kazliin · 4 years
Note
I'm sure you've answered similar questions so sorry ahead of time if you have answered these questions before.I re-read Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches for like the sixth time. I tend to go back and re-read some of my all time favorite FFs throughout the years and I was once again blown away by your writing so I have some questions! 1. Do you find that it's better to write everyday or just when motivation hits? 2. How many edits/revisions do you usually do? To be cont....
LOL I'm back- continuing with question 2, how do you know when you've edited a chapter or even an entire story enough? 3. How do you know when you've written too much? Everyone knows the rule of 'show not tell' but where is the line between using too much of that flower language and just getting to the point? 4. Have you worked on an original story or have you been published already?! I would love to read an OG work. :)
Last few questions haha- I wish there wasn't a word limit on these things...5. Any tips for how to not compare yourself to other writers? I have this problem in both writing and art. I do a piece and then look or read something that someone else produced and then table flip my desk because their work is significantly better and then I'm that 'this is fine' meme. 6. Have you found that writing FF has helped you? Thank you for taking the time to read these. ^_^
 ----
No worries, I love getting questions about my writing! I’ll answer them all in order so it’s easier to read.
1)      Do you find that it's better to write everyday or just when motivation hits?
For me, if I’m in the middle of a multi-chapter fic or series, I find it better to write regularly. Motivation is a fickle thing, so I found having a set writing schedule helped me put out chapters regularly. I didn’t write ever day, but I had set days/times every week that I would devote to writing. I can be pretty lazy at times so if I hadn’t forced myself to sit down and write, I never would have finished anything!
When it comes to oneshots though, I definitely only wrote when inspiration struck. Because they are much shorter and easier to write, it was much more fun for me to frantically write one in a burst of inspiration than to try and force one out when I wasn’t feeling inspired. But those strokes of inspiration aren’t a regular thing for me so I can’t rely on them for longer fics. So, for me, I write differently depending on what kind of fic I’m writing (not a very helpful answer I know!)
 2)      How many edits/revisions do you usually do? How do you know when you've edited a chapter or even an entire story enough?
I am a horrible little writing gremlin who edits something once and then tosses it out into the world for all my readers to suffer my many writing mistakes. Is it the best way to do things? Absolutely not. But I find the more I edit the more I hate things and delete huge chunks of writing and I’m never fully satisfied. So I limit how much time I spend reworking a chapter or I’d never post it. I should definitely edit my writing more but fanfiction is a hobby, not a job. I’m not going to spend hours agonizing over a fic that I was supposed to enjoy creating for the sake of editing it to perfection. So I’d say, once you get sick of reading your own writing while editing, it’s probably a sign to stop and just put the story out into the world because fic is meant to be fun, not stressful!
 3)      How do you know when you've written too much? Everyone knows the rule of 'show not tell' but where is the line between using too much of that flower language and just getting to the point?
This is a really tricky one because it depends on what kind of fic you’re writing and your own personal preference. I like writing a lot of introspection and have a bad habit of
making my chapters far too long. Some people like reading that kind of writing but some people absolutely hate it. The majority of the negative comments on my fics are about how there is too much introspection, my chapters should be more concise, and I need to learn how to edit down my work. Which is all fair critique but hey, it’s fanfic. I like to write like that and so I’m going to keep writing like that. And people who like short, punchy fics that get straight to the point are going to keep writing they way they like too. There’s no right or wrong way to write fic, just the way you like it.
When it comes to writing your own fic, whatever is best for you is usually whatever you find most natural to write. If you naturally write shorter chapters there’s no need to make yourself bored and unhappy by trying to drag them out with lots of flowery language. But if you naturally just let your words flow free and write lots of flowery descriptions, there’s no need to frustrate yourself trying to edit it down too much. I’m a firm believer in fanfic being fun. So write in the way that you enjoy. If people don’t like it, they can go read another fic. Different people have different tastes, so you have to write for yourself first and everyone else second. A fantastic chapter could be 1,000 words or it could be 30,000, as long as it’s written from the heart.
 4)      Have you worked on an original story or have you been published already?! I would love to read an OG work. :)
I unfortunately have not! I may one day but I don’t currently have any plans to
 5)      Any tips for how to not compare yourself to other writers? I have this problem in both writing and art. I do a piece and then look or read something that someone else produced and then table flip my desk because their work is significantly better and then I'm that 'this is fine' meme.
The best way I’ve ever seen someone address this situation is in this comic.
 In fandom, it’s really hard not to compare yourself to other people, especially with so many talented people producing content! But there are a few vital things to remember, the first of which being the two cakes philosophy in the comic I linked. Sure maybe someone produced something that you think is better but I guarantee the audience isn’t thinking “oh this thing isn’t as good as that thing.” They’re thinking “hell yes, more things!!” All content is good content because it’s content that keeps fandom alive.
 Also, we are all terrible judges of our own work. I guarantee if you asked the author/artist of your very favourite fanwork about their own work they’d be able to point out 100 tiny flaws you’d never seen. So when you’re looking at your own work, remember that you’re probably being overly critical of yourself and your intended audience are unlikely to notice even a fraction of the problems you see in the things you create.
 And finally, don’t be too harsh on yourself because the more you do something, the more you improve! Some writers/artists in fandom also do writing/art professionally. And even if they don’t, some have been producing fanfiction/fanart for many years, so they’ve had huge amounts of practice. So you’re doing yourself a disservice by comparing yourself to someone who might have been drawing/writing for years more than you. I guarantee if you read the first fics I wrote when I was 12/13 (thankfully purged from the internet now because god were they terrible) you would think they were a flaming pile of trash because they were. And I used to look at other writers and think I’d never get as good as them because they just seemed to write amazing things so naturally. But it takes years and years of practice and gradually you get better and better. So if you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else and getting disheartened, try to remember there was probably a time they were doing the exact same thing! And if they kept going then so can you!
 6)      Have you found that writing FF has helped you?
It definitely has! I started writing the Rivals series when I was at a very low point in my life and it was a very cathartic experience for me. And it was also such a great feeling to know people were liking and reading my work! It helped me through some tough times and even though I haven’t written in a while, I still sometimes get comments on my old fics that absolutely brighten my day! I love fanfic, both reading and writing it, and it’s been a very important part of my life for a long time
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limonium-anemos · 4 years
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tomarrymort fic rec list
1 / 3
Batsutousai (i love bats’ works uwu)
Like a Ghost in My Town Series
Being the Master of Death means that, once Harry Potter dies, he can start life over again in a new reality, one that might have different rules, might mean a second chance with the people he loved and lost.
The only problem? He is always a werewolf.
Stand Against the Moon
Cursed against his will, Harry made the best of his life until he found himself, again, wandering in Death's realm. When Death offers him a second chance, a chance to right the wrongs he'd been blind to for too long, he can't possibly refuse.
Nose to the Wind
While Harry had been content with his second chance, that didn't keep him from thinking what he could have done different, how many people could have survived if he hadn't been set on the very specific path he'd walked. Third time is the charm, though, right? 
Growing Old With You
A chance meeting between a Hogwarts student and the Minister for Magic spirals into a love story that the tabloids adore, while those involved are just trying to figure out how they actually fit together.
The Soot Gremlin and The Bastard Prince
Harry is forced to live as a servant to his unpleasant uncle and aunt, while Tom is a bastard who's only in line for the throne because there's no one else. When the king decides to throw a ball, can the two find their freedom in each other?
Xerosis
Harry's world ends at the hands of those he'd once fought to save. An adult-Harry goes back to his younger self fic. Semi-super!Harry
The Bonds of the Heart
When Harry Potter and Tom Riddle say they can't live without each other, they really aren't joking. Obligation and affection are two very different things.
Whose Name On My Wrist
Voldemort and Harry are soulmates, and it's something that changes the course of both of their lives.
Cottage Refuge
Harry buys a quiet cottage in the middle of nowhere, and Voldemort starts crashing there when he needs some calm.
The Rarest of Holidays
Tom and Harry take a holiday from Tom's blooming empire.
Quiet Holiday
Voldemort responded to holidays one of two ways: A massive attack, or shutting himself away. When it becomes clear this will be one of the latter, Harry steps in to ensure 'alone' won't mean 'lonely'.
Quiet Moments
Harry groaned and dropped back onto his bed. He felt...restless. Bored. Lonely.
Broken
Dumbledore knew before Harry Potter came to Hogwarts what he needed the boy to do, and he knew exactly how to make him do it. A twist on the normal manipulative!Dumbledore story.
Poisoned Scones
"Who are we killing today?" Voldemort asked from just inside the doorway; Harry might look terrifying covered in flour, but Voldemort did not.
BonesOfBirdWings
play in reverse
Time is a fickle thing, and voids yearn to be filled. 
Uniko (prev brizo)
Death’s Love series
He who Loves Death
In which even as a muggle Tom Riddle is still a murdering lunatic except he does it to summon Death. Who he courts. Harry is kinda flattered.
The Love of Death 
'Sometimes he wondered if he should have just sent a Reaper to deal with the death of the Riddle family. But Harry, curious, had followed the summons himself and became the target of Tom’s obsession. Harry would never admit it to anyone but himself but he had become a little too obsessed himself. It had been years since he was with anyone romantically. He was lonely. Sure he had his Reapers but they were more his children then anything. To have someone kill just to see him at the expense of getting caught themselves… he was flattered. So that's why every time the other beckoned him into his bed he fell so easily into it. And when the other wanted to lose himself to the bliss of their coupling he gave in. Because he loved him too. Death loved the Serial Killer he had made himself.'
the birth of family 
To gain something, one must lose something else of equal value. But who is gaining and who is losing exactly? The serial killer Voldemort had now made this whole thing personal. And Harrison? He was taking the bait for all it was worth.
cannibalinc
As Portioned from a Whole (WIP)
In which Lord Voldemort undermines the Prophecy and raises the infant Harry Potter as His; in all aspects. 
The Rigmarole Dance
Harry is nine years old when he points at Lord Thomas Marvolo Slytherin, High Warlock of England, and declares "You're my soulmate, and we're going to be married." 
Child_OTKW
Consuming Shadows (WIP)
His attention skipped passed the students and moved to the politicians’ pavilion. His gaze locked with crimson, and he nearly faltered under the sheer hunger in those eyes.
It unnerved him how fixated the man was on his dirtied, exhausted figure.
But what troubled him more was the slight smirk he could make out on the man’s lips. It was almost pleased.
On the night of the attack, Lily managed to escape with her infant son, but at the cost of her husband’s life. Distraught and distrusting of her friends, she fled to France with Harry, to raise him away from the corruption in Britain and the rising influence of the Dark Lord. She trains him to the best of her abilities, shaping him into a dangerous, intelligent and powerful wizard.
But when Britain re-establishes the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry is forced to return to his once-home, he finds himself questioning whether he really wants to kill the Dark Lord. Voldemort finds an unexpected challenge in the child, and as his intrigue and amusement grows, so too does the desire to possess the spark in those defiant green eyes.
you belong to me (i belong to you) (WIP)
“What I find absolutely fascinating,” Riddle said as he stalked closer. “is you.” He backed Harry up until the cool wall of the common room was brushing against him. “Do you know why?”
“No. And I’ll be honest here, Riddle, I don’t particularly care.”
The taller boy grinned at him, small yet infinitely amused. “That. Right there.” One hand rose and brushed some of Harry’s fringe from his face. “Nathan Ciro is a spineless little boy too afraid of his own shadow to dare even glance in my direction. But you…”
He leaned closer. “You look at me like you want to stab me.”
After an accident, Auror Harry Potter wakes up in the body of fourteen year old Nathan Ciro, a tormented Slytherin who recently tried to end his own life. His return to Hogwarts causes quite the stir through the staff and students, especially when they realise he is not the same boy as before.
He tries to keep his head down, but with the keen eyes of Tom Riddle hounding him through the halls, Harry finds himself unwillingly drawn into a dangerous game with an equally dangerous boy.
ChubbyPanda15
It’s A Masquerade, Darling (WIP)
An orphan, Harry Potter has done everything he can to avoid notice during his five years at Hogwarts so far. He’s only got one friend, is purposefully in the middle of his class rankings, and his only ambition, wizarding-wise, is to graduate with enough N.E.W.T.s to get a loan and open up a bookstore.
And then he somehow finds himself in the sights of Tom Riddle, resident golden boy of Slytherin and darling of Hogwarts…
Cybrid
A Dangerous Game (WIP)
Tom Riddle opens the Chamber of Secrets in Harry’s fifth year at Hogwarts. After a botched attempt to extract the Horcrux in Harry’s scar leaves their souls tied together, Tom is forced to kidnap him when he makes his escape.
A story of Horcrux hunting, adventure and unwilling attraction.
The Lost Boys
Tom and Harry are tiny fairies, small enough to fit in a Muggle's hand. Tom leads a band of vicious trickster fairies that can only be appeased by gifts like saucers of milk and shiny things. Harry is a helpful fairy, the kind that shows up in the night and helps with difficult craft projects like making shoes. Harry and Tom always clash whenever they end up in the same house at night.
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redrobinho0d · 6 years
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The Batboys with a magic-wielding S/O
Tags are under the cut! Also I want to post more but...my muse, she is fickle D: If you want to see more content I would love to be sent prompts or requests, my askbox is open!
Jason Todd
Without a doubt, he’s going to try and get you to use your powers for stupid shit
“Hey y/n will you light my cigarette for me?” “Will you hex the gremlin?” “I don’t want to get up, I bet you could make a snow day happen amirite?” “Can you make me a voodooo doll to use on Roy he’s being a dick”
Will want you to go as a sexy witch every Halloween
Honestly doesn’t take it too seriously or really get it, but he thinks it’s pretty neat
He’ll take you to weird new-age bookstores to buy crystals or feathers or incense, whatever you want or need
He’ll be a bit of an ass about it honestly because it’s who he is as a person, he’ll tease you all the time
I like to think his magic!s/o would make him a dream catcher or a protective charm to protect him from his nightmares and soothe those ptsd problems that he bottles up
Tim Drake
Expect like, a billion questions cuz this boy will be so fascinated and dazzled
He’ll want to watch you every time you work on a spell or incantation or potion
You’ll have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t touch/lick something he shouldn’t
He’ll be genuinely interested and want to learn all about your beliefs, culture, practices, all of it
He’ll do all sorts of research on the internet and read through all your spellbooks
He might even set up a blog to get in touch with other people in the magic/pagan community so he can learn all about it and have better discussions with you about the topic 
Dick Grayson
This boy is going to be so into it, I tell ya, we all saw him with Zatanna we know the boy loves magic
He’s going to flirt and do all sorts of over-the-top things to get your attention, and probably try to impress you because he’s already so impressed by your abilities
And this boy is a performer at heart and always will be, so if you were to do an actual magic show? He would be in the front row avidly watching and cheering you on
He may even hold you up on a bit of a pedestal, honestly
He’ll probably ask you to use your powers but only for serious important things, he’d never want you to abuse your powers
If you did use it for something small or just for fun, he’d light up like a Christmas tree and brag about it to everyone for, like, ever
Damian al-Ghul Waye
Will be a bit wary and unsure at first tbh
This boy grew up in a culture where witchcraft was demonized so give the boy time to adjust
Also, he’ll have a hard time accepting that you might  be more powerful than him, he’s got a lot of pride
However he’ll also be happy that your powers mean you can look after yourself if anyone tries to bother you
If you have a familiar (cat, bird, dog, snake, any familiar) expect him to cuddle it and love it so much the boy loves animals
If anyone tries to bully or harass you they will pay dearly, no one is allowed to belittle his beloved for their beliefs hell naw, out comes the sword
Once he’s adjusted he’ll be very frank about it, he loves you so he accepts everything about you no question 
@batboys-and-other-messes @memequeenjellybean
A side note, y’all, I just recently learned about Duke Thomas and I want to include him, but I only know what I read on the wiki and what I’ve seen people post about him so I just...don’t feel comfortable writing him yet. If you want to help me learn about him, I’d love to hear your favorite canon moments, favorite headcanons, any of that good shit my dudes, hit me up
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aion-rsa · 4 years
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Topps’ Fright Flicks Cards: Where Horror and Comedy Collide
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This story is presented by:
In 1988, the Topps Company – creators of trading cards dedicated to everything from Major League Baseball to Garbage Pail Kids – released one of the most ambitious lines ever to hit the non-sport market: Fright Flicks. Each pack included nine cards that featured images from horror movies like Alien, Aliens, A Nightmare on Elm Street 1-3, An American Werewolf in London, Fright Night, Pumpkinhead, Ghostbusters, Poltergeist and Poltergeist II, The Fly, Predator, and Day of the Dead. Also featured in each pack was one sticker and a piece of the company’s infamous bubble gum.
To be clear, Topps had a storied history of creating cards that catered to monster kids, having already released Alien and Jaws 2 lines (and that’s not even scratching the surface, garishly illustrated cards were a hallmark of their Wacky Packages, and the company had utilized their artistic MVPs like Norm Saunders and John Pound for their legendary Ugly Stickers in 1965). In 1973, their Creature Feature line showcased black and white images from classic horror films paired with comedic captions to enhance the modern fun. A second line followed in 1980, but it would be nearly a decade until the concept reached its full potential with Fright Flicks.
What made this line so unforgettable was how it utilized a bunch of R-rated films, and the images used were often packed with blood and guts – the exact sort of thing that appealed to kids and grossed out their parents. For less than a dollar, tweens could get their hands on scenes from movies that had been forbidden to see. The offbeat humor of the cards helped to undercut the often disturbing imagery that they were showcasing, diffusing potential nightmares in the process. A cult success during its launch, the line never got a follow up, something that can be attributed to everything from the moral panic of the era to the fact that high schoolers who would have really loved these things had aged out of buying trading cards. At least temporarily.
And so Fright Flicks remain that most intriguing of collectible, a place where horror and humor collide. To celebrate the line, we wanted to present this sort of Fright Flicks 101. Geared towards serious collectors and novices alike, this guide will present you with all the information you need to experience the movie magic of Fright Flicks for yourself.
photo credit: eBay
Fright Flicks Unopened Box
The alpha and the omega of Fright Flicks collecting is to score an unopened box of cards. Featuring incredible box art featuring Freddy Krueger himself and containing 36 packs (which more likely than not guarantees you an entire set), this an easy—if somewhat pricey—way to complete your Fright Flicks fandom at one fell swoop.
Fun fact: If we were eccentric millionaires we would buy up every unopened box of these on eBay and give packs out on Halloween to make us the champions of the neighborhood…at least until the dental bills from kids eating 30-plus-year-old gum started getting sent our way.
Buy the Fright Flicks Unopened Box here
photo credit: eBay
Predator Unopened Wax Pack
Each wax pack of Fright Flicks included eye-catching imagery from either Fright Night, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Pumpkinhead, or Predator. Of these, the best of the lot is the one from Predator. Incredibly illustrated with just the right amount of menace, this pack screams to would-be consumers that they are in for a trading card treat unlike no other.
Buy the Predator Unopened Wax Pack here
photo credit: eBay
Aliens Bishop Card
For those who don’t want to take the plunge and collect the entire set, this list will be featuring a few individual cards that are perfect for displaying on refrigerators or vision boards (hey, he don’t judge).
First up, this entry in the line in which a newly eviscerated Bishop, as portrayed by the always-great Lance Henriksen, cracks a joke about getting ripped apart by the Alien Queen. Because if 2020 has taught us one thing its that you’ve gotta laugh when times get tough.
Buy the Fright Flicks Aliens Bishop Card here
photo credit: eBay
Complete Fright Flicks Cards and Stickers Set
For the practical among you, we suggest searching eBay for the no fuss, no muss Fright Flicks sets that include all 90 of the cards and the stickers without making you deal with doubles or the gum or the wrappers or anything else that you may feel is standing between you and stupendous, sardonic monster movie fun.
Buy the Complete Fright Flicks Cards and Stickers Set here
photo credit: eBay
Alien Card
Alien collectibles are super weird by the very nature given how unabashedly adult and terrifying the film is. Not that this stopped Topps from releasing an entire card line based on the flick in 1979.
Rumors abound that post-Star Wars, various companies were racing to snatch up the Alien license with hopes of cashing in on the next sci-fi space spectacular. And really, that sounds too real not to be true.
Regardless, Topps Alien cards were a suitably serious affair that reflected the tone of its source material. But the cards featuring the xenomorph in the Fright Flicks line? Why that’s as different as Aliens and Mac and Me are.
And so we have this card in which the Alien appears to be taking a bow, although if you ask us it looks like he’s touching his toes. After all, It’s important to stay fit if you spend your days chasing people before killing them in the most nightmarishly heinous way possible.
Buy the Fight Flicks Alien Card here
photo credit: eBay
Fright Night Card
The conversation about underrated 1980s horror movies too frequently fails to mention Fright Night. The horror effort from director Tom Holland (not to be confused with the Spider-Man Tom Holland), follows a teen who enlists the help of a washed up horror host to investigate vampires who have invaded his neighborhood.
One of these bloodsuckers is the charismatic-yet-smarmy Jerry Dandridge (seen above). Chris Sarandon delivers a typically great performance as Jerry, who makes being undead look cool years before The Lost Boys did.
Buy the Fright Flicks Fright Night Card Here
photo credit: eBay
Fright Flicks Sticker Set
Give your laptop, locker, or, hell, laundry room some supernatural sheen with the stickers from the Fright Flicks line. Freddy Krueger was the biggest horror star in the world at the time when these were originally foisted upon the world, and that shows as he dominates the proceedings here.
Looking at the rest of these, what is interesting is how the Slimer sticker seems to be a direct response to the character’s expanding popularity from The Real Ghostbusters, and how Pumpkinhead was poised to a much bigger film than it turned out to be. A fickle bunch, horror fans.
Buy the Fright Flicks sticker set here
photo credit: eBay
Freddy Krueger Sticker ($2)
“The man of your dreams is back,” declares this Freddy Krueger sticker, and who are we to argue?
If you weren’t around in the late-80’s, you may not realize how ubiquitous everybody’s favorite sleep demon was back then. So much so, that Freddy ventured into a self-parodist purgatory from which he never recovered following the release of A Nightmare on Elm Street III: The Dream Warriors (really, you practically expected to see the dude turn up alongside Alf on The Hollywood Squares).
This sticker takes you back to a simpler, pre-Freddy saturation time – one that we long to return to.
Buy the Freddy Krueger sticker here
photo credit: eBay
The Fly Card
Before Jeff Goldblum became the all-consuming pop culture god he is today, he starred in David Cronenberg’s body horror masterpiece The Fly in 1986. Reworking a campy 1960s sci-fi flick into a haunting metaphor for AIDS, Cronenberg crafted perhaps the strongest remake in film history.
Part of what made the film so affecting was the film’s creature designs (by Chris Walas, who also created Gizmo and his evil spawn in Gremlins). This card let movie makeup nerds bask in Walas genius by allowing them to really study the nuance he put into Seth Brundle’s deterioration from man into fly.
Buy the Fright Flicks The Fly Card here
photo credit: eBay
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Day of the Dead Card
George Romero’s 1985 effort Day of the Dead was a film that was so violent, so gore-packed, so loud in every way that it was released to theaters unrated – a rarity at the time, and a move that impacted its box office severely. Did we mention it was gory? This is a movie in which a character is disemboweled on screen, the camera lovingly fixating on the grotesque ballet happening on screen.
So it feels more than a little bit subversive that any images from this film somehow made its way onto a mainstream pop culture collectible like a Topps card, let alone one packed with disturbing imagery. In 1988, George Romero was still a largely underground phenomenon who had yet to achieve the mainstream adulation that his legacy enjoys today. For horror movie fans of the era, his work being celebrated in such a way as the Fright Flicks cards felt revolutionary.
Buy the Fright Flicks Day of the Dead card here
Eventually the rest of the world would catch up, but Fright Flicks paved the way. And that may very well be the biggest legacy of this fascinating card line.
The post Topps’ Fright Flicks Cards: Where Horror and Comedy Collide appeared first on Den of Geek.
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sunnydawn444 · 7 years
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New Post has been published on Sunny Dawn Johnston
New Post has been published on http://sunnydawnjohnston.com/blog/numerology-report-nurture-yourself-the-gift-of-decembers-3-vibration/
Numerology Report – Nurture Yourself – The Gift of December’s 3 Vibration
Nurture Yourself – The Gift of December’s 3 Vibration
As we enter December, 2017 is winding to a close. In many ways, it feels like 2017 rushed by. Soon we’ll be saying goodbye to the 1 vibration we were immersed in all year long. In January we shift from the inward focused 1 vibration to the inward/outward focus of the 2 vibration for all of 2018.
You got the preview of this energy in November. How did it feel? Did you allow yourself to “go with the flow” and cultivate patience? Did you make time to express your creative side? Did you play with ways to increase your confidence … and perhaps your courage? Were you able to establish a gratitude practice of some kind? Were you able to see things from a different perspective?
Yes, the energy and events this year have been stressful for many, catastrophic for some. I feel you. And I send each and every one of reading this a blanket of love to wrap around you and bring you some comfort.
As I write this month’s numerology report, the Angels tell me to tell you that you are loved more that you know, more than you believe possible. You are loved. May you take some comfort in hearing that you are, indeed, loved.
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine hearing the most magical angelic music singing you a song of love: “I love you, we love you, you are loved, you are love …” Allow that vibration of unconditional love and acceptance to fill your heart. Drink in this soul song. This is the truth. Not what you hear on the news or from your negative mind chatter or from whatever anyone else has ever said to you. You are love. You are loved. And although I may not know you in your physical form, know that I too love you.
This message of love brings me to the theme for December … Nurture Yourself.
You’ve been through one heck of a year. Nurture Yourself.
No matter how busy your life is, make some time to Nurture Yourself.
Nurturing is part of the 3 vibration for December.
According to Numerology, December is a 3 vibration month, with the 12 vibration undercurrent.
The 3 is a very social and expressive number.  Some other elements of the 3 vibration are:
Self-Nurturing, Pampering, Sensuality, Being Physical
Joy, Fun, Pleasure, Enjoyment
Self-Expression, Communication, Artistic Expression, Creativity
Social, Friendly, Outgoing, Cheerful
Sensitivity, Sympathetic, Trinity, Integration
Enthusiasm, Beauty, Romance, and Passion
Since December is the 12th month of the year, the subtle influence of the 12 vibration colors the way the 3 vibration may show up. The 12 can mute the 3’s passionate expression.  That doesn’t mean it will put a damper on your month though. Think of it as a more mature expression of passion and creativity rather than the wild abandon of youth.
The major aspects of the 12 vibration are Intellectual and Spiritual Learning, Wisdom, Integrity, and Surrender to a higher power. So, while the 3 vibration wants to go out and have fun, the 12 vibration reminds you to learn and gain wisdom from your past experiences. Strike a healthy balance between social activities and self-care. Stop doing things to the point of exhaustion. Ask for help. Give … and Receive!
My Guides tell me this month the focus is on Nurturing Yourself. Yes, practicing Self-Care!
December is a busy month with all the Holiday activities and the natural cycle of winding down the year, personally and professionally. It is so easy to overload your schedule and have no time for you. If you’ve been burning the candle at both ends, it is time to have compassion for yourself and allow some much-needed self-care, nurturing and pampering into your life.
You might be quite accomplished at nurturing others. You might even be an “over-giver”. Now it’s time to turn the tables, no matter how weird or uncomfortable that feels. Shift the focus to giving to you, nurturing you, filling your well.
Some things to think about and maybe journal about … then take some action on!
What does self-nurturing look like for you?
What does it mean to nurture yourself?
Is self-nurturing selfish? If so, why?
What does it feel like to be pampered?
What things feel like pampering to you? (this is different for many people, btw)
Massage
Foot rub
Someone preparing your meals
Long naps
A special deluxe night out
A soak in a tub
Someone cleaning your house for you
Other things, like … (fill in the blank on your ideal pampering)
What do you need to feel nurtured?
More rest
Being appreciated
Someone helping you without you needing to ask
Time off
Quiet time off by yourself
Time in nature
A vacation
Spa day
Being heard
Feeling understood
Chocolate
Comfort foods
Permission to do what you want without feeling you should do something else
Permission to do nothing, just be
Stronger boundaries (or boundaries in general!)
Lighten up and play more
Relaxation
More fun
Creative expression of some kind
Fill in your top needs if they aren’t on this list …
Give yourself what you need – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
  Now on to the Shadow of the 3 and the 12 Vibrations …
Here are some common ways the shadow of 3 and the 12 vibrations may appear in your life:
Acting in a superficial, egotistical, critical, self-centered, or manipulative way is a shadow effect of the 3, especially in a 1 vibration year.
Vanity, superficiality, laziness and fickleness are other ways the shadow of the 3 acts out.
Indecision, self-sacrifice, mental spin, anxiety, and emotional stress are the most common ways the shadow of the 12 appears.
And since we are in the holiday season, there may be more of a tendency toward Over-Doing, Over-Indulging, and Over-Giving.
When you find yourself in the Shadowland, PAUSE, put your hand on your heart and take three deep cleansing breaths. Then do one or more of the following:
Do something that feeds your spirit
Create something
Laugh
Color
Dance and sing
Express yourself in an honest way
Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you are feeling and sit with it (it will usually move through)
This is a good opportunity for you to take a look within to uncover why you felt the need to do whatever it was you were doing. Were you …
Stuffing emotions
Not speaking up or saying what you really felt
Denying yourself
Feeling ignored or invisible
Feeling unloved or unappreciated
Feeling put-out or put-upon
Trying to be liked/approved of
Putting everything and everyone else before you
To make any changes and shift that drama, you need to become aware of what was really going on inside you. Now that you know, you can make conscious decisions to choose differently the next time.
  Mercury Retrograde Alert
Mercury will be retrograde from December 2nd to the 22nd. Which means we may experience Mercury Retrograde Gremlins during the December shopping and Holiday season!
Remember, the Mercury Retrograde Shadow starts a week to 10 days before (approximately November 23rd) and will be felt for a week to 10 days after (approximately December 30th). So from Thanksgiving (in the USA) to New Year’s Eve take extra care with your communications (phone, email, and in-person), plans and schedules, your purchasing decisions and your tech gear. Back up your computers!
Mercury Retrograde is a great time to chill … and practice some radical self-care and self-nurturing!
May whatever holidays you celebrate be happy, healthy and fill your heart with joy, love and laughter.  May the Spirit of the Season bring you Peace.
With my love, gratitude and appreciation for you,
Karen
Spiritual Teacher, Intuitive Numerologist, Past Life Therapist, Speaker, Writer Karen is an excellent guide to help you when you feel lost in the dark and spinning out in anger, frustration and confusion, or falling into patterns of self-sabotage. She helps you get insight and clarity, dismantle blocks, and shift the crap that gets in your way of living a more enjoyable life. Karen works with her “Celestial Spirit Posse” and yours. She has a deep and varied metaphysical toolbox, and blends intuition, wisdom, and spiritual teachings with practical guidance, compassion and a wickedly playful sense of humor. She has helped many people face their fears, heal old wounds and transform their life. Karen is on a mission to help others to learn to love and accept themselves, exactly as they are. She is available for private sessions and mentoring. Connect with Karen at www.TheLifeCraftingGuide.com and  https://www.facebook.com/karen.m.winkelman.lifecrafting
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