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sparklingcid3r · 22 days

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reading your most recent post the details of pony and soda during the week after their parents died is literally so sad. what do you think they were doing/ reacting as darry was constantly working and planning everything for them? like even just the adjustment of that their parents are dead, and now they dont even recognize their brother who is ordering them around

Part 2 of this post

When the police left, they took all the sound of their house with them. Shock clung like smoke to their skin. Pony held onto Soda’s arm, Soda put his hand above Pony’s, but they were both staring at the same thing.

Soda churned through the voicelessness first.

“Darry?” he asked, quiet. Quieter than he’d ever said anything in his life.

There was a time a little while ago when Soda really did believe that Darry knew how to do everything. Throw him a soccer ball and, after a few seconds of getting a feel for it, he was juggling five, ten, twenty in a row. Give him a math problem from Soda’s homework and Darry slid it back with not only an answer, but neatly organized steps on how he arrived there. Hell, he even taught Soda how to shotgun his first beer. Soda couldn’t stump him. Darry was never misguided, never unsure about anything in his life.

But Darry wouldn’t look at them. He was watching the officers getting into their cruiser and pulling out of their driveway.

Pony was shaking. When he collapsed to his knees, Soda went down with him, but he kept his eyes on Darry, waiting to see what his brother did next. Whatever he said, Soda would listen. Whatever he ordered, Soda would do.

Darry never spoke. Soda waited for something, anything, just a fragment of clarity, of reprieve among the screaming, screaming, Pony was screaming into Soda’s shirt, and Darry stayed silent.

A strange look entered Darry’s eyes when he turned and stared at their pathetic huddle. His hand was against the door, holding up his entire weight. Soda tried to get him to meet his wide, damp gaze with the reassurance that it was a false alarm, they got the wrong house. But when Darry’s mouth stayed closed, he realized like lightning striking every nerve in his body that Darry didn’t see him at all. He was looking right through him, his sharp blue eyes trapped behind a fog of dullness. Darry was lost.

A cry shuddered through Soda and he tugged Pony closer, let his kid brother hang onto his neck while he heaved with sobs.

“Darry?” Soda tried again, pleading. The effort of pushing air out to make a sound scathed the walls of his throat. His voice went high-pitched, shrill. “Darrel?”

Darry blinked and it was like he’d come back to himself from someplace far away. His face fixed itself into something colder, and when he crouched in front of Soda and Pony, Soda was caught between wanting to flinch away and lean into his arms. Let him take Pony, let Soda have his turn to breathe, wait for Darry to open Soda’s lungs again.

Darry reached out like he was going to take Soda by the back of the head and pull him in, but he stopped short, a conflict waging openly across his face. His eyes flickered from Soda to Pony’s wailing form, who hadn’t even noticed Darry’s shadow descending to blanket them, and helplessness flashed before he steeled himself once more.

“Go to your rooms,” was all he said.

He rose to his feet and Soda stumbled, barely catching himself on the hardwood. “Darry, where are you going?” Darry ignored him. Time was moving too fast. Soda couldn’t do this, but there was only one person he’d ever turned to. Why was he walking away? “Help me, Darry, please. Please, don’t—I can’t, Darry. Don’t go.”

Darry never came back. Soda was on his own, but Darry left him with a way forward. He didn’t abandon Soda completely. Their rooms, Soda had to get Pony to his room.

“Pony?” Soda said. His own breaths were quick and skipping, he choked on air every time he opened his mouth. “Pony, baby, you gotta get up. C’mon, honey, please.”

He grabbed Pony and tried to untangle their limbs, put Pony back together and tug him to his feet. Pony gasped and cried out for Ma and Dad, even sobbed around Soda and Darry’s names. He was guiding a newborn deer through the hallway, making sure Pony’s legs could hold him up for long enough until it was safe again to crumple.

Soda tucked them both into bed, holding Pony’s head to his chest and waiting out the storm of both their fresh grief. Pony was losing steam and tears, crying himself dry, but even when he fell asleep, Soda didn’t dare shift.

Thuds reverberated through the house. Darry was on the move and Soda’s heart was in his throat. He wanted to open the door and check if a suitcase was in Darry’s hands, if he was scouring the house for his belongings and the next time Soda and Pony emerged, they’d be met with an even emptier house and go through tonight all over again.

Pony’s grip around Soda didn’t slacken for hours. He woke up screaming in short bursts, so often that Soda scrapped the idea of trying to sleep himself. He soothed Pony’s whimpers with soft shushes, running his hand through his hair and waiting until it lulled Pony back into a fitful rest.

When Pony’s red-ringed eyes shut once more, tears hanging from his lashes, Soda slipped free and rushed to the bathroom. He dropped to his knees and heaved into the bowl, emptying his stomach of his dinner, and when there was nothing left, he slumped against the wall and gripped his hair in his fingers, tugging just hard enough to feel something.

He couldn’t hear Darry wandering through the house anymore, but he doubted anyone was truly slumbering.

Morning found the Curtis brothers with bruised eyes and barely holding themselves together. The eldest was gone, replaced by Steve Randle and Johnny Cade. One for each of them. Darry must have planned it. For some reason, it made him bitter.

“Where’d he go?” Soda asked Steve. The eggs on his plate were untouched and cold. Something in his face must have convinced Steve, but Soda wouldn’t have been able to replicate it. He didn’t even know what he looked like.

“The morgue. He said they needed him to—identify. I’m sorry, man.”

Soda looked over his shoulder for Pony, concern spiking through him. Had he heard that? His imagination was too vivid, anything at all could set him off. Already it was strangling him at night. They needed to be more careful with what they said and where they said it. Pony could only take so much.

Darry was back in an hour. He walked in and kept the door open to let Steve and Johnny out. Poor Johnny. Pony was catatonic, there was nothing he could have done for him. Soda appreciated his efforts regardless.

Darry was a ghost for the next several days. He drifted in and out of the house while Soda tended to Pony. As much as it angered him, he couldn’t even be sure what he was angry at. Darry refused to stick around long enough to explain himself. It made Soda feel stupid, as if Darry didn’t trust him with the task of keeping their family together. He was the one keeping Pony from starving himself and he was the one comforting him through his relapses into grief-fueled terrors. Darry should have known that. Why wasn’t it enough for him?

Maybe this was just what trust looked like. Real trust, not the kind that played out on their boxy television screen between two actors in black and white. No matter how many times Darry wandered off, leaving them stuck in the darkness with nowhere to go, it was because he expected Soda to know that he was only off searching for the light switch. He’d come back every time, so long as Soda trusted him.

And he did. He trusted his big brother to get them out of this. It just got a little hard to see sometimes, was all. It scared him, knowing Darry was out in the same world that took Ma and Dad from them, just as vulnerable to leaving and never coming back. Never saying goodbye.

Pony was taking everything Soda had to give. He was still reeling, but Soda was too. He wanted to stay by Pony’s side forever, shield him from any more atrocities like the one they suffered only days ago. It robbed Soda of energy to get through his day. Darry was always gone in the middle of the day, so Soda made lunch.

He wanted to go back to their bedroom—theirs now, that was the new way of describing it—but his feet refused that direction. So he retreated outside.

Nothing was out there for him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in their backyard by himself, or even how often it saw people on their lonesome. Soda and Pony used to climb up the one oak tree that only grew pathetic leaves in the spring and shed them early. Pony had broken his arm trying to get down, one wrong step on a particularly weak branch and he’d tumbled all the way back to Earth. The hard dirt didn’t help him none, and neither did Soda’s howling laughter before he knew Pony was trying not to cry.

Dad always barbecued on the Fourth. The entire gang hauled ass over to the Curtis house for their annual Fourth of July football match, where the winner was usually decided by whoever got Darry on their team, even when Dad brushed the dust off his muscles and hopped in. Johnny loved watching more than getting knocked around by guys bigger than him, so he hung around with Two-Bit’s sister Brenda, and when Pony needed to catch his breath he would go and join them for a bit before running right back into the fray. Ma and Mrs. Matthews cheered from the sidelines, iced lemonades clinking in their hands, goading the boys into throwing to the wrong teammate because in the heat of the moment, who wouldn’t listen to a mother?

Soda wondered if they would ever get those moments back, or if that train had picked them up and brought them all the way to the other side with Ma and Dad.

“Soda!”

Soda turned, startled. Darry’s voice had been foreign recently, but apparently not from lack of use. A strong undercurrent of command brought Soda to his feet, but he had to drag himself back inside.

“Christ, Sodapop, stand up straight,” Darry told him. Soda didn’t understand that one, why it was a problem. “And fix your hair, it looks like you got birds living in it.”

He was staring, he knew he was and he knew he shouldn’t have been, but he just didn’t understand what Darry wanted from him or why he wanted it.

“Now, dammit,” he barked, slamming the countertop with a closed fist.

Soda finally did flinch this time. He wanted to cry again, to curl up in a ball and close his eyes and not have to open them for a good long while, but Darry needed him to stand up straight and fix his hair, so he fled to the bathroom to listen to his brother.

Ponyboy was sitting up in the bed when Soda came in for a new shirt. He hadn’t noticed that he’d already worn the one he had on to sleep the night before and it was all wrinkled now. When he shut the door behind him, Pony whipped around with narrowed, bloodshot eyes, but settled again when he saw who it was.

It wasn’t right, Soda thought. He shouldn’t have been ready to glare at Darry that way, but Soda couldn’t articulate why just yet. He was still waiting on those answers himself.

“He’s gone crazy, Soda, I swear.” Don’t, don’t swear on that. He’s your brother, Pony, don’t swear. “When’s the last time you saw him stand still for two seconds? If you’ve seen him at all.”

Soda wasn’t aware Pony had come out of their room for long enough to notice that. He rifled through their drawers of more unfolded clothes. If it smelled okay, he pulled it out for examination. “Dunno, Ponykid.”

Pony sounded like a real kid when his tone tilted and shrank. “I miss Ma. I miss her and Dad.” He turned hard again quick. It reminded Soda of the way Darry had built wall after wall in the span of seconds that night, one for every time he failed to contain his runaway grief. “It’s like Darry hasn’t even noticed they’re gone.”

Soda whirled, though not out of fury. That word Pony used struck him as dangerous, too loaded to speak aloud. Darry wasn’t there to defend himself, and although Soda didn’t think he would have had he been given the chance, Soda knew he needed to do it for him. Darry could have left them the very same night. He had opportunities waiting to take him in and lift him towards someplace better, but every day he came back to their broken life in their shaking house.

“Naw, baby, don’t say that. He’s trying, I think.” Why did he sound so unsure? Darry was their brother. He had no one else in his corner; speaking up for him was the very least Soda could do. He tried again, stronger. “He’s trying awful hard. We just don’t see it.”

“You don’t even know that. What if he’s making plans to shove us in a boys’ home?” Pony scowled.

Anger was a secondary emotion, Soda suddenly remembered. He had learned it in an English class a year ago. It came only because of some emotion felt first, like fear that you were going to get sent away because you weren’t wanted. Mrs. Goldstein was a real good teacher and that had stuck with him for some reason. Maybe this was why.

“Sorry, Pony, but I think we’re stuck with him,” Soda said, trying for a smile as he handed him a new shirt. If it fell flat, he didn’t dwell. “I know it’s hard, but we gotta trust him. He’ll get us out of this, baby, I promise.”

Pony’s fire died down some. He looked younger than ever with his hair a tangled mess and his eyes so openly hurt. “You sure?” he asked softly.

Soda threw an arm around Pony’s neck and brought him close to guarantee he was heard loud and clear. “‘Course I’m sure. That’s our Superman, right?”

For the first time since, a fragile smile cracked through to Pony’s face and he put his head down on Soda’s shoulder.

“Right.”

i’ve been WAITINGGG for someone to ask me this bc i had the thought in my head but i couldn’t figure out how i wanted to go abt it, yall really clutch up for me when i need prompts🙏🙏

and if i see ANYY one of u mentioning the inconsistencies with time it’s on SIGHT. i wrote this in one sitting alr so i don’t wanna hear it✋

tyyy for reading all that tho ily guys🫶

#the outsiders #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders fanfiction #the outsiders sodapop #sodapop curtis #the outsiders darry #darry curtis #the outsiders ponyboy #ponyboy curtis #the outsiders 1983 #the outsiders johnny #the outsiders steve

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sl-ut · 8 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/playcnex/737880875796185088/her-teasing-fingers-on-my-clit-as-she-licks-my

This with Abby

more college!abby

i think this works for any version of abby so i'm not narrowing it into the plotline of sweet cliches, but its so cannon for any version of abby!

[link to post]

literally the most dangerous position you can be in with abby is in her lap, and this is talking about a girl who is six feet tall and so jacked she could probably beat a grizzly bear with her bare hands. but when she's with her girl, she's nothing but a gentle giant.

she's big on physical contact when they're alone together, but it's not always sexual. sometimes its sitting with her arm around her girl's shoulder, or facing each other in bed and just looking at each other and talking. honestly its so pathetic but idec like i love it and them, but my oh my, the second she has her girl in her lap, there's only one way for it to go (spoiler: they're about to FUCK).

in this specific scenario, i'm thinking that it's the end of a stressful day, and abby needs some comfort, so her girl crawls into her lap in nothing but some panties and one of abby's outrageously oversized (even for her) t-shirts, carefully taking her sad little face in her hands and providing her with sweet words and gentle kisses till she finally opens up about what's bothering her. she accepts the gentleness for a bit, spilling about what had her feeling that way, but her hands are slowly working their way up the back of her thighs, squeezing the plump flesh in her grasp enough to feel it spilling out between her fingers, before finally reaching her desired destination (her ass).

the shirt is gone in a matter of seconds when she finishes her little therapy session, and she's her mouth all over her girl's chest in even less time. she's sucking, biting, kissing, and licking all over, breaking away to pant out in a deep voice to her.

"i need you so bad baby."

"you gonna let me have you?"

"just lay back and let me make you feel good."

and then her fingers are slipping beneath the fabric of her panties, a breath catching in her throat as she felt the wet patch that had formed on the cotton and eagerly began circling her clit. she wants to see her girl arching her back, head tilted and eyes closed; it made it all the more enjoyable knowing that she was the one making her do these things, not to mention that it gave her easier access to her chest (and she liked they way her tits bounced with every stuttered breath and moan).

"what is it," she'd tease, "you want my fingers, baby? you can have 'em, all you gotta do is ask."

and once she asks, oh my, abby's fingers are already buried deep within her by the time she finishes her question, curling and prodding at the most sensitive spots with practiced precision, mouth still eagerly sucking on her sensitive and swollen breasts while her thumb continued to circle her clit, pushing her over the edge of her first (of many) orgasm of the night.

#reader insert #x reader #imagines #lesbian #abby anderson #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby tlou #college!abby anderson

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tallulah477 · 1 year

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Please, Mommy?

Kinktober Day 1: Handjob

Pairing: Lo’ak x Na’vi!Reader

Warnings: AgedUp!Lo'ak, Mommy kink, Lo’ak is in rut, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Whiny Lo’ak, Dom Reader, Sub Lo’ak, Bondage/Restraints, Orgasm delay, Knot squeezing, Tongue licking (is that a warning? Idk, it's here just in case), Hand gag (covering someone’s mouth to keep them from talking)

Word Count: 2.2K

A/N: This is my first work I've ever posted so I'm super nervous, but super excited! I hope you guys enjoy it!

Summary: Ruts can make even the most controlled of Alphas unstable. They can be possessive and dominant and territorial. But not Lo’ak. Lo’ak will go down, but only for you. Only for his Mommy.

Lo’ak’s pathetic whine makes you want to give up on this whole idea and just toss him on the ground and fuck him through the floor.

But you’ve done that already. A lot.

It’s been almost a full 24 hours since he’s been hit by his rut, turning him into a sad little horny mess who’s putting off pheromones that smell so good, it makes you want to eat him alive. Your pussy throbs at his smell, at the sight of him sweating and panting and begging ‘Please, Mommy! Please, please, please,” - and you want nothing more than to push him down, straddle his hips, and slide his beautiful, thick, perfect cock back inside you where it belongs. You want to ride him until he’s screaming, yanking against his restraints, desperate to get free and touch you.

You shake your head to clear your thoughts. Focus. This is about Lo’ak, not you.

Besides, you’ve fucked him so many times already since his rut began that your cunt is already sore. Poor girl’s been beaten and pounded so much by your gorgeous mate that she deserves a little break. Plus, you want to savor this.

It’s rare to have two Alphas become a mated pair. They’re territorial, possessive of their things and the people they’ve decided are theirs. They’re dominant and demanding, always needing to be in charge - to be the leader, particularly when it comes to their romantic relationships. Too much of the same energy can clash, causing fights and all out brawls which is not ideal for a mated pair.

It’s not impossible, obviously. You and Lo’ak are a perfect example of that. Two Alphas: both headstrong and stubborn in what you believe to be right, ready to lay down your lives for your loved ones and for each other. And you both just work. You’re territorial of the things you share, possessive of each other in a way that lights both your souls on fire thinking “this person’s mine. Only mine”. Somehow, in most matters, your shared headstrong and demanding attitudes don’t frustrate each other too much. Your communication is swift and direct, firm yet kind, and you find that you agree on most matters anyway, which helps avoid any potential heated arguments.

You let him lead when he feels like he needs to, and you stand beside him, fierce and proud to defend him at all times.

And when it comes to sex: the compatibility is something you never thought possible. You play with each other so well. Submitting to each other when the other wants to dominate, switching your roles so seamlessly in the moment that you almost forget your instincts are supposed to be led by your second gender. You and Lo’ak just fit with one another, two puzzle pieces coming together to make each other whole.

And during his rut, when he should be at his most controlling and unstable, he goes down for you instead. Hard.

“F-fuuuuuck,” He groans, deep and guttural as he tosses his head back against your shoulder.

You smirk, pressing a kiss to his sweaty temple. “What’s up, baby? Something wrong?”

You have him pinned to you, his back against your front with your arm wrapped tightly across his chest to keep him against you. His arms are tied securely behind his back, unable to move or get free. Unable to touch you like he really wants to, but he loves it all the same. Loves you being in control right now, loves that you love him like this. This other part about him that anyone else might find strange or disgusting if they knew about it, like some people do with his more human features or ‘demon blood’ - but you love it, love it so much - love him so much, love pleasuring him . . . tormenting him.

And wow, is he beautiful when he suffers.

His cock is hard and warm in your palm, an excessive amount of precum and your own spit coating both his length and your hand as you work him slowly. “I asked you a question, Lo’ak,”

He whimpers when you squeeze the tip, head tipping forward to watch as you force more precum to flow out of the swollen and reddened head. You scoop it up, finger circling the tip teasingly before dragging your hand back down to wrap tightly around the base.

“Faster,” Lo’ak moans, head leaning back again against your shoulder as he pants against your neck. “Wanna cum,”

You click your tongue in disappointment. It’s too soon for him to cum. If he cums now, he’ll be ready to go again in a matter of minutes - and the goal right now is to give him some reprieve, allow him to sleep or relax for a while before the next wave hits him.

And besides, he knows the rules. “Hm, doesn’t really sound like you do. Where’s your manners?”

Lo’ak whines when he feels you loosen your grip around his cock, hips rocking desperately to try to get back the friction. He leans in to press a sweet kiss against your jaw. “Sorry. Sorry, Mommy. Please? Please can I cum?”

The hand wrapped around his chest reaches up to grip at his braids, and you pull his head back slightly to press a passionate kiss against his lips. Your teeth latch onto his bottom lip, biting down and pulling enough to make him groan in pleasure before soothing it with your tongue.

“Good boy,” You mutter against his mouth, and Lo’ak preens at the praise, a pleased noise escaping from the back of his throat. Your hand tightens again around his cock, and you stroke him faster than before, but only slightly, working him up towards another orgasm even as you say, “But no. Not yet, baby. Mommy’s not done with you yet,”

“P-please,” He begs, lips brushing against yours. His eyes are heavily hooded, dazed and hazy from the intensity of his rut. “Please, Mommy. Need to c-cum. Need to--”

He cuts himself off at the brush of your tongue against the seam of his lips, breath shaking as his own tongue lolling out of his mouth, pleading.

“What, baby?” You ask, teasingly. “You want to taste Mommy? Taste my tongue on yours, huh?”

Lo’ak nods frantically, dilated pupils swallowing up his eyes underneath his hooded eyelids as he stares at your mouth. Your hand strokes his cock faster, wet noises echoing through your shared hut as your fingers slide over his heated skin. You can feel his knot beginning to swell each time your fist slides over the base of his cock, and you know he’s close. But he’s such a good boy for you, and his head stays where you want it: turned towards you and tongue staying out, waiting for you to grace him with your own.

So you do. You press a gentle kiss to the flat, wet surface before sliding your own against it, letting the taste of his spit, sweet like the yovo fruit he managed to eat before his current wave of rut hit him, explode on your tastebuds.

“You taste so good, Lo,” You tell him, licking across the appendage again greedily. You squeeze his knot roughly and you can practically feel the vibrations of his vocal cords from his cry through his tongue. “Like a delicious little treat all for me,”

“P-please!” He wails. Your hand leaves his knot to cup at his swollen balls and he jumps, thighs shaking from where they’re hooked underneath yours. “I’ve been good. Your good boy, Mommy. I need it. Need to cum. Need it so bad. Fuck, fuck! Please can I please, please, please, please,”

Your hand clamps tightly over his rambling mouth, silencing his pleas to mere moans and grunts. Your lips trace along the point of his ear, softly kissing the sensitive skin and laughing when his eyes squeeze shut and his ears twitch and press tightly against his head.

“Look how swollen you are down here,” You whisper against his folded ear, gently rolling his balls in your hand and rubbing against the tight skin with your thumb. “So big and heavy. Just filled up so much, huh? Ready to burst any second now. And all for me, right?”

He groans against your palm and tries to arch his back against you, tries to get you to move your hand back to his cock. But instead, you go lower.

Your fingers trail down to the strip of thin skin between his balls and hole, and rub against it firmly. You know the sensation drives Lo’ak insane, and he whimpers desperately against your hand, feet digging into the ground as he tries to close his shaking legs around your hand. But your legs that are hooked around his have his own trapped, and you delight in spreading your thighs more just to drag his own wider with them.

“Nuh uh,” You giggle, fangs pressing into his skin as you smile against his cheek. “Good boys don’t run from Mommy’s touch.” Your wet fingers press harder into the skin and you’re just barely able to keep your hand over his mouth when he tosses his head back and forth in ecstasy. “ I know it’s overwhelming, baby. Feels so good, doesn’t it?”

He shakes and cries against your hand, amber eyes wide and clouded with overwhelming pleasure, staring at the ceiling even though you’re sure he’s not actually seeing it, as you continue to torture the sensitive nerves along the strip of skin.

His cock is dripping like crazy, a steady stream dribbling onto his belly and leaving a small puddle. You have to bite your lip when you stare at it, torn between wanting to push him on his back and greedily licking it all up, and leaving it there to enhance the beautiful vision of your mate all tied up and helpless with his cock drooling with want.

In the end, there’s really no option. So you leave it there, letting the puddle grow and grow as your fingers rub against his sensitive spots.

When his moans and whimpers are a constant force against your restraining hand, you pull your fingers away from his fun little strip and scoop up his precum from his belly.

“Alright, Lo. I think you’ve had enough for now,” You say, removing your hand from his mouth and placing your other one directly under his chin. “Let’s finish this. Spit,”

He’s panting, chest heaving from the desperate need to cum and he’s mumbling so incoherently you can’t understand a word he’s saying. He’s long gone, so far away from his own body that he can’t even focus. You can tell by the dazed, faraway look in his eyes, and you nudge your face against his to call him back.

“I said spit, Lo’ak,” You demand and watch as he shakes his head slightly, as if trying to clear it.

His mouth has to work for a bit before he’s actually able to spit in your palm. With a satisfied grin, you place one hand on his cheek to guide his face towards yours for a lazy kiss, while the other moves down to wrap around his cock, smearing the combination of precum and spit onto the purple head and down the throbbing shaft. It twitches in your fist as you stroke him roughly, hand sliding down over his swollen knot with each pass.

“You can cum whenever you're ready, baby,” You tell him, and almost instantly he’s gasping against your mouth, cock pulsing in your hand as the first spurts of his release shoot against his stomach and down the outside of your fist.

You swallow his cries eagerly, fist pumping his length, working him through his orgasm, before you're closing your hand around his thick knot and squeezing it relentlessly.

He howls, hips bucking frantically into your hand, and his head falls back as he screams in pleasure. You take the opportunity to latch your teeth onto his neck, scraping them against his pounding pulse point and marking him as yours - the dark mark finding a home next to the others that you’ve littered all over his throat since his rut started.

When he’s given you all he can, he slumps down against you, head resting in the crook of your neck as he tries to calm his breathing. You let go of his knot and slide the flat of your palm lightly up his still twitching cock, loving how he jumps in your hold and moans desperately against your shoulder.

“Look at you,” You praise, pressing gentle kisses along his hairline. “So pretty for Mommy when you’re all fucked out like this. You did so well for me, yawne,”

You pull your hand from his now softening length and tug his lax upper body up just enough to be able to undo the restraints on his arms. There’s bright red marks and indents along his skin when the rope falls away, and you lightly massage the skin, helping to bring back some feeling into the limbs.

He falls back against you as soon as you let him, and you both lay on the floor of your hut, cuddling up to one another and intent on enjoying the moment of respite between waves, however short it may be. His eyes close and almost immediately his breathing evens out, fast asleep.

“No, wake up,” You say, nudging his shoulder. “You have to eat something first.” Silence. “Lo’ak,”

But he’s dead to the world. You sigh and place your head on his chest, making a mental note to make sure he eats something the moment he wakes up.

Even if that means he has to choke down his food while you choke on him.

**Special thanks to @pandoraslxna for the prompt!

#lunaskinktober2023 #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak smut #lo'ak x na'vi reader #lo'ak x female reader #taliewrites

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btsgotjams27 · 1 year

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this is us ~ jjk | 18

you're dreading the meeting in LA, but it's a big city. you're not gonna bump into jungkook, are you?

✨ title: this is us | (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, best friend's brother ✨ playlist | ✨ if you haven't read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n: naurrrr--this means the series will be ending soon, but yesss---jk and oc will finally come face to face after a year apart! how will it go down? what's gonna happen? 👀 ✨ a/n 2: thank you to those who have sent in words for the little game. those words will be in bold throughout the rest of the chapters. we still have a podcast episode to celebrate the end of this story and you'll be able to send in questions and comments (a form link will be up when i post the last chapter :')) i'll also have a survey for y'all too :) as always, please leave a like, reblog, send an ask. i'd love to hear your thoughts.

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ drabble ~ dream bigger, darling

chapter eighteen ~ you're seeing things, aren't you? | wc: 10.9k warnings: there will be a lot of talking, mild language, oc’s friends being loveable dummies, light insecurity, heart flutters, language, drinking, sleazy slimeballs, some touching, a slap to the face, unresolved feelings, insecure jk & oc, bamie is hereeee, love confessions, our babies are growing up and taking things slow, they both get on their knees (you'll understand why when u read), delicate first kiss that turns into a heated one, they're both h*rny but remember they're taking thing slow, smol erection bc hello they're together again, jk is tame and controls himself?? (WHUTTTT) but oc needs a lil bit more from him, bittersweet goodbyes (for now)

The impending meeting was coming up at the end of the week. Your agent, Jae, wouldn't take no for an answer and immediately responded to the Netflix executive, saying you’d take the meeting. If the meeting was anywhere else in the world, you wouldn’t hesitate, but the fact that you had to fly out to LA for this made you feel reluctant.

And when everyone heard you’d be in LA, the only topic of conversation was if you were planning to see he-who-must-not-be-named.

"Will you tell Jungkook you're in town?" Hyunie asked as she cut through her French toast covered in Nutella and strawberries. Taehyung leaned over to take a bite from her fork, but she refused to let him have any.

Yoongi sat, wavering his fingers together. “Oh—the plot thickens. Dun, dun, dun.”

He’d become too comfortable knowing your business and complained that he knew too much for his own good. He was cool with you, but his lifestyle was too chill to mesh with everyone else’s dramatics, including yours. Though he works in the movie business, that didn’t mean he wanted his life to be like a goddamn drama.

“Wouldn’t that be weird? To meet up with an ex?” you asked with reluctance as you searched your friend’s faces for any words of advice.

It’d be nice to catch up, you thought, but what if old feelings resurface? Then what? You’d be screwed and have to start from square one again. You had gotten too far to return to the sad, pathetic person you once were.

Hyunie interjects, “Of course not! You’re friends too.”

You deadpanned. “I haven’t spoken to him in over a year–and I’d hardly call us friends.”

Honestly, could you even go back to being just friends? How were you supposed to be friends with your ex-slash-best-friends-little-brother? How can anyone return to being just friends after being with someone like Jeon Jungkook? You could hardly keep your friends now and then to add an ex as a friend? It sounded like a recipe for disaster.

With a mouth full of strawberries, Tae threw in his two cents. “Just go see him. What’s the worst that can happen? You gonna sleep with him?” He smirked and grabbed another bright red strawberry. This conversation amused him for days, making smart comments and occasionally alluding to what the two of you used to have.

“Really, Tae?” You rolled your eyes, sipping your coffee. You’d like to think you had some kind of self-control.

“What? I’m just being realistic here. The two of you probably have all that pent-up sexual frustration, and who knows—you might not be able to contain yourselves if you’re in the same room.” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows and then bit down his bottom lip, thrusting and slapping the air while in his seat. Hyunie elbowed him in his rib, causing him to groan at the pain. She whispered something indistinct to him, and the two bickered quietly.

You turned to Yoongi. He was always wise and had the right answers. “What should I do?”

You interrupted him just as he was about to sip his coffee. His lips thinned, and he stared blankly at you. “Why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re the most unbiased person here, and you don’t know Jungkook like we do.”

Yoongi shrugged. “I don’t know. Do whatever you want. If you want to see him, go see him. If you don’t, then don’t. It’s as simple as that.”

Everyone turned their attention to you, wondering how you’d respond. It wasn't as simple as Yoongi had said. The weight of your previous relationship with Jungkook wasn’t one where you could simply put it behind you and pretend like you could be friends again. There was too much history, too much hurt—just too much of everything. You tried to convince yourself for months that there were no more feelings.

And you had made so much progress, minus being upset when you heard he was in town—but regardless, you had moved on, and seeing Jungkook again could set you back a few steps.

Yoongi set down his knife and fork and turned to you. “You’re a big girl, and you’ve worked through a lot of things, and if you don’t think you can handle seeing him again, then don’t put yourself in that situation. I'm sure he’d understand.”

“Or—or—you could just fuc—”

Hyunie covered Taehyung’s mouth, muffling the rest of his sentence. “Don’t listen to my crazy husband. Do what you think is best for you, okay?”

After brunch with the crazy lovebirds, you sat in Yoongi’s car, staring aimlessly out the window, and said nothing the entire car ride.

As he pulled up to your apartment complex, you needed to ask him again. “Tell me the truth. What would you do in my position?”

He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. He knew you needed reassurance, but honestly, there was no right answer for this situation.

“Well, considering that I’ve gotten to know you over this past year, I'd say that it’s gonna eat at you day and night if you don’t reach out to him. You’ll wonder, ‘what could’ve been’ or ‘what if I did X, Y, and Z?’ You’re good at compartmentalizing, but I have a feeling ten years down the line, you’re gonna be upset at yourself. So, I don’t know, as I said earlier if you want to see him, go see him. If you don’t, then don’t. Whatever you choose will be the right decision.”

But what was the right decision? You thought of all the possible scenarios that could play out. What if you call to meet up, and he doesn’t want to? Or what if you meet up and it’s awkward? Or what if you meet up and old feelings resurface?

You were thankful for Yoongi and glad he could always be honest with you. With his advice in consideration, along with everyone else’s minus Kim Taehyung’s, you pondered your next move as you tossed and turned in bed.

Should you try and meet up with Jungkook? But you were doing so well. You had deleted his number, photos, and texts, and if you wanted his new number, you’d have to ask Yuna, and you wouldn’t hear the end of it from her if you did.

Maybe it’d be easier to just not try to see him. You were sure he was doing well, living in LA, doing whatever he was doing, seeing whomever he wanted. You just didn’t want to return to feeling insecure and vulnerable, and you had worked so hard to be where you are today. Maybe it’d be better if you didn’t tell him you were in town.

A non-stop flight from Seoul to LA was close to eleven hours, but you wished it was longer. The lower the flight time, the higher your anxiety rises. Los Angeles was a big city, and there was no way you’d bump into Jungkook, right? That’s a ridiculous thought to have. You’d have a higher chance of bumping into a celebrity than your ex. You were just psyching yourself out at this point, and there was no need to because you decided not to tell him you’d be in town.

After eleven hours on a flight and only six hours of sleep, you hoped you’d bump into no one. Your swollen ankles and puffy eyes were horrendous for anyone to see. But here you were—in Los Angeles, where many dreams came to fruition or never saw the light of day, and you were hoping for the latter, whatever that dream may be. You were curious about what Netflix had to offer and if it would require you to move here. Though, you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself, thinking about the what-ifs because nothing was set in stone.

Being a huge corporation, Netflix paid for everything—the flight, hotel, and transportation. Not too shabby, especially since they were trying to woo you into whatever job this was. They booked a corner suite at the Conrad Los Angeles, overlooking the city's skyline. The hustle and bustle of city life were similar but different from Seoul and could possibly be a place where you’d have to get used to.

The luxe Mercedes Benz E-Class you were sitting in pulled up behind the slew of cars from other hotel guests. This felt too fancy from anything you were used to, but you weren’t complaining.

You bid your driver farewell and thanked them as he pulled your luggage from the trunk and set it beside you. Just as you grabbed the handle, a driver behind you honked, gesturing for you to move out of the way. You jumped back, your heart racing as the loud horn continued in short outbursts until you stepped onto the hotel’s sidewalk.

God, this city sucks already, you thought, and you hadn’t even been here for that long, either. Brushing off the awful interaction, you breathed a big breath, ready to take on whatever this trip had in store for you.

“Miss? I’ll need a form of ID and a credit card to put on file.”

You handed what the front desk receptionist needed from you. Now, you understood all the buzz and why this was the hot spot. The hotel was gorgeous and a great place to hang out, even if you weren’t a guest.

As the receptionist input your information, your eyes scanned the lobby, taking everything in. A rowdy group of men exited one of the hotel restaurants, entering the lobby. You noticed a man in a monochromatic cream-colored outfit. You appreciate a man who was put together.

After catching a glimpse of him, you could’ve sworn your eyes were deceiving you. No, it wasn’t him. You were seeing things, weren’t you?

This city was far too big for you to end up at the same hotel as your ex-boyfriend, right? Destiny was definitely being a prude and playing tricks on you.

“Here’s your ID and card back. You’re located on the 16th floor, room 1613.”

“Thank you.”

When you grabbed your ID, card, and luggage, you turned around to ensure you were imagining things. The group of men had disappeared and was nowhere to be found. But you shouldn’t be looking for Jungkook anyway. You decided not to tell him you were in town. Wouldn’t you look pathetic going back on your word?

But instead of going directly to your room, you might have ‘taken the long route,’ cruising through the hotel—just to see what they had to offer. Though, who were you kidding? That person definitely looked like Jungkook! Except he had longer hair, and you hadn’t seen any recent photos of Jungkook, so you had no idea if he had shaved his head or had long, glorious hair like Rapunzel.

You would’ve lurked longer, but now you felt super creepy and stalker-ish, and your large rollaway luggage wasn’t helping either. Maybe it was time to give up; you had been looking longer than you should’ve.

If there was one thing that could possibly make up for the shitty interaction from the furious man honking away like there was no tomorrow—it was the view. The city skyline and clear blue skies with only a few scattered marshmallow-type clouds floating around.

The room was too big for just one person, and you weren’t sure what to do with yourself to kill time before your big meeting. So, you quickly freshen up to roam around the five-star hotel. You had nothing better to do, save for the fact that you needed to find that guy again, just to make sure it wasn’t Jungkook.

And as you expected, this hotel was packed with people. The restaurant's decor and view were stunning, to say the least. You didn’t want to keep going back and forth between the various choices of restaurants, so you stuck with the first place you saw, Agua Viva.

A small commotion turned your head; your eyes focused on it for a split second before returning your attention to the host. You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry. Yes, a seat at the bar is great. Thank you.”

You scanned the drink menu, pondering the various choices before you. Alcohol or no alcohol—such a hard decision. Well, considering you were going to an important meeting, it was probably best not to be tipsy, or it could calm your nerves.

“Hello, miss. What’ll you have?”

It was a toss-up between the Tornup Tiki Punch or Flamingo Shuttle. What silly names they were.

“I’ll have a Flamingo Shuttle, please.”

Non-alcoholic it is.

“One Flamingo Shuttle coming right up.”

You tapped on the square napkin before you, swiveling your chair back and forth, taking in the surroundings of light laughter and chatter, before returning your attention to the bartender making your drink.

In a city of 3.8 million people, it was stupid to think you had seen Jungkook. Maybe you just wanted it to be him and desperately tried to speak it into existence. You probably had a better chance of bumping into a Kardashian than Jeon Jungkook.

“Is this seat taken?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before turning around to confirm your suspicions about the familiar voice.

It’s like time stood still; everything and everyone quieted down, and it was only you and him. He was like a stranger from a different lifetime staring back at you, but everything you felt while with him came rushing back like a flood.

“Jungkook.” His name rolled off your lips in a familiar way you couldn’t explain. It had such a hold on you, pulling you right back like a lovesick puppy.

“Noona,” he said with his big brown, doe eyes crinkling in the corner, along with a bunny smile.

The one word made you clench around nothing, but it’s just a word–what’s wrong with you? Honestly, woman.

“Is this seat taken?” He repeated, making you come back to reality.

“No, it’s yours if you’d like.”

You watched his every move. His hand held your stool, and his thumb lightly brushed against your back as he sat down. Immediately, you straighten your posture in case of any other accidental touches.

Jungkook crossed his arms on the counter, turning to you. The both of you smiled awkwardly, waiting for someone to say something.

“I thought I saw you,” the both of you said in unison and chuckled after.

“It’s me,” you scrunch your nose, flashing a smile.

Jungkook shook his head, copying your smile. “I thought I was going crazy for a split second. Wha–” he paused to let his mind catch up with his words. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for a meeting.”

He nodded. “Oh. It must be an important meeting if you flew all the way out here.”

You hummed. “Yeah, it’s pretty important.”

Should you spare more details? Or just leave it at the bare minimum? You didn’t want him to conjure up any ideas as you had been for the last few weeks.

“Your Flamingo Shuttle, miss. Would you like to bill it to your room?”

“Yes, please.” If Netflix was paying, you were drinking.

You lightly groaned after taking a sip, not realizing you’d been thirsty after flying all day, or was it Jungkook’s presence making you feel suddenly parched?

“Anything for you, sir?” The bartender asked Jungkook, to which he shook his head no.

“It’s good to see you,” Jungkook said as the bartender left to attend to another guest.

Your crossed leg unintentionally touched his pant leg when you turned toward him. You took your time letting your eyes gaze over this new Jeon Jungkook. His permed hair had grown longer, and a fringe was swept softly across his left eye. The piercing that adorned his eyebrow had disappeared, and the only thing decorating that pretty face was a lip piercing.

“It’s really good to see you too. You look great, by the way. I love the long hair. It really suits you.” You couldn’t help but wonder how his hair would feel entangled between your fingers.

He proceeded to touch the ends. “Thanks. You–you always look great,” he chuckled lightly.

Your heart skipped a beat at the compliment as you suppressed a smile. “Thanks. I–um, do you have time to catch up? If you’re not busy, that is, but if you are, then please feel free to go. I don’t–I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

“I have some time,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes and his tiny dimple on display.

Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as you made it in your head. You were overanalyzing nothing. Jungkook seemed happy to see you, even though you thought he’d be running in the other direction, considering he had left on a whim.

“Um, do you work around here?”

“Yeah, I was just getting some early drinks with my colleagues.”

Your mind immediately went to Alex, which you fucking hated, but you couldn’t help it. Obviously, she wasn’t with the group of him and rowdy men, but you assumed they still worked together, and who knew in what kind of capacity–or maybe she had him eating in the palm of her hands again.

You stopped the ongoing conversation in your head. It wasn’t good for anyone if this continued.

“This is a great place. I can see why you’d come here.” He hummed in agreement. “How–how are you? How’s everything?”

Jungkook cleared his throat, interlocking his hands together, light tapping his thumb on the other. “It’s good. I’m—good. Work has been going well. I, uh—I’ve taken up running along with boxing, but Bam–he’s a handful.”

“Bam?”

“Yeah! My dog.”

“You have a dog?”

“He’s still a pup, but he’s getting so big already.” Jungkook pulled his phone from his back pocket, scrolling to find a photo of Bam. “See.” He set his phone on the counter, pushing it to you.

“Oh, my god. He’s precious! He has big doe eyes like his dad,” your mouth curved into a smile. “He’s perfect for you.”

Jungkook cleared his throat, pressing the off button on his phone. “How are you? What’s new?”

His question was so broad you weren’t sure where to start. He obviously knew about your meeting but didn’t know what it was for. But how much information would you feel comfortable divulging?

“I’m good.” You let out a nervous chuckle. “I just got back from a solo trip, and then this whole LA thing happened, and now I’m here.”

“Ah–right. Yuna told me about your trip. How was it? Did you enjoy yourself?”

You nodded. “It was great. I practically laid out on the beach most of the time, got some sun in,” you smiled and shrugged. “And what about you? I heard you were back in Seoul for a little bit.”

He hummed. “Yeah, for my mom’s birthday dinner, and I finally got to meet Indie.”

“Ugh, I love that little booger,” you chimed in.

“She’s amazing, and she’s growing up so fast.”

“Right? She grew up in a blink of an eye.”

Then you realized Jungkook had missed most, if not the entirety, of Indie's first year. Time had passed, and you had also grown and blossomed without your awareness in the midst of it all.

Jungkook beamed a soft smile.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” you asked again, searching for the bartender.

He shook his head. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Positive?” You gave him a look.

He nodded. “Still trying to take care of me?”

“Well–I am older than you.”

Jungkook chuckled and turned away for a moment. “I, uh, already had some earlier, remember? So, I shouldn’t have anymore.”

“What? You can’t hold your liquor anymore, old man?” you teased.

He scoffed at your lame joke. “Are you taunting me?”

It almost felt like old times when you were just friends, ragging on each other.

You sipped your drink before answering, “Yes.”

He flashed a close-lipped smile. “Can I take a rain check?”

You hummed lightly. “You got it.”

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck and swiveled in his chair, lightly brushing his knee against yours. “Do you have my new number?”

You bit the inside of your cheek. No, because you recently deleted all his contact, texts, and photos. You shook your head.

He held out his hand, wavering his fingers for your phone. You gave it over without hesitation and watched as he saved his number. “Call me if you need anything or want to get that drink before you leave.”

He handed it back, his fingers softly touching yours. “I should go. I left Bam too long by himself.”

Your heart almost leaped out of your chest and onto the counter, your stomach fluttering with a swarm of butterflies and the bead of sweat on the nape of your neck finally caressing your skin when he touched you. “Yeah, sure, of course.” You nervously scratched your temple. “I, uh, I should get going too. I have my meeting soon.”

Jungkook smiled and stood, and you followed suit. He stepped back, straightening his cream-colored jacket and smoothing down his pants. “I’ll talk to you soon?”

You weren’t sure if he really meant it or if it was just an expression. Either way, you didn’t want to put more meaning into it than needed. You smiled and hummed.

He stepped away, waving his hand before walking off into the sea of people who just entered the restaurant.

You half expected him to look back, but he didn’t. He was calm, cool, and collected as he confidently walked away, making you think he was over you.

Jungkook sat in his Uber, pinching himself to ensure he wasn’t dreaming–that he really saw you and had a conversation, and it wasn’t as awkward as he thought it would be. Unless it was awkward, and he invented a fictitious scenario in his head, misunderstood your body language, and misinterpreted your words.

“Sir?”

“Oh, uh, sorry. Yes, you can drop me off right here.” Jungkook’s mind raced back and forth, replaying the conversation.

He closed the car’s door, shuffling to the apartment complex’s gate. He punched in the code, rushing to his place to let Bam out.

The 50-pound puppy popped his head up, panting and wagging his tail as he saw his owner. Bam sprung to his feet and dashed over to Jungkook, smelling and licking his palm more than normal.

“I know, Bamie. I know.”

Jungkook smelled different. He must’ve had the faintest smell of you on him.

“Come on, boy. You’ve been waiting for me for too long.”

Bam whined when Jungkook’s mind was on something else and did not notice him. He was scratching Bam’s belly, staring off into space with nothing but you on his mind. It’s like you had completely taken over him like you were his paradise, and even if he tried to resist, it was probably useless now. He could never escape you.

Should he go back to the hotel? Would that seem too needy? He thought he was trying to get over you, but here you were, right in front of him, practically within reach—no ocean between the two of you. If now wasn’t the time, then when?

Was he prepared to fight for you? To be with you again? Was he ready for you to reject him if he wanted more, but you didn’t?

He sighed, fighting with himself for his next move. Whatever his decision, he wanted to ensure it was the right one. The real question was—did he want to be with you again after all this time?

The answer was yes—it has always been yes. You’re it. You’ve ruined him—it will always be you.

He was so close to getting in his car and driving back. Every cell in his body was urging him to go and confess his undying love—that is, until he remembered he ran away, that he hurt you.

What if you had moved on but didn't want him to know? He had no right to delve into your business anymore. What if you had moved on with that Yoongi guy? He'd heard that guy's name too many times from Yuna and Taehyung for him not to suspect anything was up with the two of you. You looked so happy with Yoongi that one time he saw you. Maybe he was the cause of your euphoria, the person you spent all your time with, the person you dreamed with, shared your hopes with—maybe you had fully closed the chapter that Jungkook was a part of, and Yoongi was the ‘take two’ of your story.

But could Jungkook just be a foolish dreamer? Thinking he still had a chance with you?

He'd given you his phone number, and the ball was now in your court. If you wanted to, then you’d contact him. Otherwise, perhaps it's best that he's not constantly chasing you. If you still wanted him, then you needed to let him know, and if you didn’t, then maybe he could finally try to let you go.

You checked yourself one last time, smoothing out your tailored skirt and matching blazer. You wished you had chosen another pair of heels, but your nude slingbacks were the only things you packed, so it’d have to suffice. With a swipe of your raspberry lip tint, you were now ready to charm whoever this executive was.

The hostess led you through the restaurant to a private dining lounge. A few guests were scattered far and wide while light jazz music and laughter filled your ears. Were all Netflix meetings always this fancy? You had looked up the menu beforehand, and the prices were somewhat reasonable for dinner, but you’d be fine with instant ramen from the convenience store. You could probably order the whole menu if you wanted since you weren't paying.

“Mr. Wells will be here shortly,” the hostess smiled, leaving you at the table as you mindlessly fiddled with your thumbs.

You wondered how your name even landed on the desk or email of someone across the ocean. Or could Jae just be a great writing agent, and he just had his connections? Maybe you’d find out during this dinner.

A waitress stopped by the table, bringing glasses of water and a bottle of Champagne.

“Oh–I didn’t order this.”

“Mr. Wells did. He wanted to apologize in advance for his lateness. He’s held up in traffic at the moment.” The waitress poured the champagne into two tall flutes.

Fifteen minutes went by as you sat waiting for this Netflix exec. He was already leaving a bad taste in your mouth because of his lateness, but it’s not like you had any other plans.

You scanned the room, watching others converse and eat before pulling out your phone. You went to your contacts and scrolled down to Jungkook’s name. It was like deja vu all over again–staring aimlessly at his name, whether or not to delete it or keep it. Only this time, he would hopefully pick up the call.

You were tempted to text him to see what he was up to. Considering it was a Friday night, he was probably out with friends, maybe Jimin or a girlfriend. You’d heard from Taehyung that they hung out fairly often. At least he had a friendly face in this city.

A low, husky voice said your name, making you look up from your phone. The man standing before you was not someone you pictured. If you had all the confidence in the world, you’d whistle and holler at this Park Seo Joon look alike.

“I’m Zachary Wells, but just call me Zach.” He grinned as he quickly scanned your face and held out his hand. You stood to shake it.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you and your work,” Zach said, gesturing for the both of you to sit.

“You have?”

“Whenever Kenji is in town, you’re all he ever talks about.”

Ah, Kenji. You should’ve known. Well, you supposed one of your exes was good for something.

Zach grabbed the attention of the waitress. “Should we order dinner? I’m starving.”

The two of you had a lot in common. Zach was fairly easy to talk to and was a chatterbox. But just like Kenji, Zach was avoiding why he had wanted to meet you in the first place.

The conversation had finally winded down after an hour, and the champagne and water washed down the last of your dinner. And now, only one thing remains.

“So, you’re probably wondering why I wanted to meet with you.” You hummed. "Well, as you know, we've been expanding Netflix into South Korea, and we're picking up a lot of Korean dramas as demand grows here in the States. As I was talking with Kenji, we thought you’d be perfect for the role of director for creative marketing. I understand you've been a writer for a long time, but I believe you have the potential to help us thrive even more with your market knowledge and insight.”

“Would that mean I wouldn’t have to move out here? That I could stay in Seoul?” It was the first thought on your mind.

“We’d onboard you here in LA for a few months and then get you settled back in Seoul.”

Zach’s offer was too good to be true and to pass up. You didn’t have anything else going for you right now. No show and only a half-finished script.

“So? What do you think?” Zach leaned back in his seat, draping his arm behind you, scanning you from head to toe. He finished the last of his champagne, gesturing for the waitress to bring another one.

It’s not like you could give him an answer right here, right now–coming to live in LA, leaving your life and friends behind. It was a big ask and not a decision you’d take lightly.

Your silence encouraged him to move closer, and his knee knocked into yours. “What do I have to do to convince you?” he said, his finger lightly brushing against your knee.

Immediately, you pulled back, pushing his hand away. “Is this how you get everyone to come to work for you?” You scowled, disgusted by his action.

“This is an opportunity of a lifetime, babe. Don’t waste it.” Zach raised his brows, waiting for you to change your mind. He tried to touch you again, but a loud smack echoed throughout the room, making others around you stop and look at the commotion.

“You’re feisty. I like that.” Zach licked his lips, massaging his cheek.

“You’re a disgusting pig.”

He scoffed. “Oh, am I? I’m here trying to give you a job, and here you are, being a fucking bitch. I hear you have nothing else lined up for you, right? And I can easily tell everyone in this industry to never give you another job again.” He threatened and then proceeded to move in again.

“If you touch me again. I’ll fucking scream,” you seethed, your face warm to the touch, smoke fuming from your ears.

Zach rolled his eyes and threw his hands in defeat. “Fine–have it your way. Good luck getting a job in this industry ever again,” he spat out before leaving.

Everyone in the restaurant was looking at you. You cowered, unsure of where to go or what to do. You weren’t expecting this turn of events. It was just too good to be true.

This whole trip felt like a bust. You came here expecting to return to Seoul with a job but instead had a creepy interaction with a high-level executive, and they paid for everything, including your flight and hotel. You shivered at the thought of him knowing exactly where you were staying. You were alone in a big city, and the only person you knew was your ex-boyfriend.

You illuminated your phone to check the time, debating whether to call Jungkook. Would it be weird? Would you look desperate if you called? It’s not like you had any dignity left anyway.

Unlocking your phone, you clicked on Jungkook’s contact; your thumb hovered over the call button. Fuck it, you thought and pressed call.

It rang a few times before Jungkook’s familiar voice was on the other end—it felt like old times.

Hello?

“Hey, it’s me.”

Hey. I was hoping you’d call. Are you done with your meeting already?

“Yeah, um, would you mind picking me up at the restaurant?”

Yeah! Of course. Text me the address. I’m coming right now.

Jungkook zipped through the city, and thankfully, there wasn’t any heavy traffic to slow him down. He got to the restaurant in less than 20 minutes. He pulled up and saw you waiting on the sidewalk with your arms crossed, trying to keep yourself warm. Parking the car, he ran over to you.

“Hey—are you okay?” he asked with concerned eyes, scanning you from head to toe, ensuring you weren’t hurt.

“Yeah, can we go?” Your body language was telling Jungkook otherwise.

He opened the door for you, and you quickly got in, fastening your seat belt and breathing a sigh of relief once you lay against the headrest. Jungkook looked over, biting his cheek as he could tell you weren’t okay—your eyes were glassy, and he could see how your mascara smudged. He began to input the address for the hotel, but you stopped him.

“Can—can we go back to your place?” Jungkook perked up. “I don’t want to be alone, if that’s okay.”

He certainly wasn’t going to deny you. “Yeah, of course. That’s fine with me.”

“Are you sure?”

It probably wasn’t fair of you to do this to him.

“Yeah, of course. Anything for you.”

“Jungkook, you can totally say no—”

He gently placed his hand on top of yours. “Hey—it’s okay. We’ll go to my place.”

You waited a good distance behind Jungkook as he unlocked the door. He took a step but then stepped back and turned to you.

“Bam gets excited when new people come over. So, I apologize if he’s a bit wild.”

You smiled, assuring him you’d be okay. You were nervous but psyched to meet him, actually—you hoped he would like you. Considering Jungkook was his owner, Bam would probably be the sweetest pup.

As soon as Jungkook opened the door, the brown-coated Doberman greeted him. He knelt down, rubbing his floppy ears. “I told you I wouldn’t be gone long, right, Bamie?”

Jungkook looked at you, beaming a wide smile before returning to his puppy. Bam’s tongue hung out as he panted, looking in your direction–he really did have big, doe eyes like Jungkook. Maybe they were drawn to each other through lingering starry eyes.

He let go of him, and immediately Bam came to sniff your hand, giving a few licks before looking up at you. “I think he likes you.”

“Whew—I passed Bam’s vibe check,” you joked as you crouched down to cup his face, in which Bam licked your chin. “Oh–” You scrunch your eyes closed and giggle at the pup. He really was so sweet.

“Bam—house,” Jungkook commanded. Bam whined quietly before following his owner’s order. He pouted the entire stroll to his crate. As he lay down, he took his turtle chew toy into his mouth, making it squeak.

You slipped off your shoes and set down your bag, looking around Jungkook’s apartment. As you expected, it was squeaky clean, with a few photo frames of his mom, Yuna, and Indie. Then you noticed the ‘Rising Star’ award he had displayed on a shelf next to a few other awards he must’ve gotten at his new job. The stark white walls and flooring contrasted against the black and brown hue furniture. You chuckled to yourself when you saw the workout equipment in the corner—of course; it’s right in his living room.

“If you’re tired, you can take my bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“Oh–” It wasn’t your intention to sleep here. You didn’t want to be alone after that icky interaction with Zach. “I’m okay. Do you just want to hang out and talk for a little bit?”

Jungkook took a big gulp and cleared his throat. He figured this was the moment of truth. He didn’t know what to expect anymore–it could be good or bad.

“Yeah,” he smiled, making his way to the couch, gesturing for you to do the same. “Make yourself at home.”

That was easier said than done. You felt intrusive and feared that you crossed a boundary you shouldn’t have.

He watched you sit on the opposite end. And never in a million years did he think you’d be here, sitting with him. Is it possible that you have found some way to forgive him?

Your eyes found his, and the two of you nervously chuckled.

“Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Tea?”

You shook your head. You didn’t mind just sitting here and being in his presence. It felt so comforting after such a long day of traveling and a shitty meeting.

“How was your meeting? Did it go well?”

You sighed, positioning your body toward him as you leaned against the couch. You purse your lips before answering him. “The guy was a bit of a douche. The job sounded like a great opportunity, but I refuse to work with someone who thinks I’ll sleep with them for a job.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, and he shifted in his seat. “I’m sorry, what?”

You could see Jungkook clenching his fist, but honestly, he had nothing to worry about. You hoped the slap Zach got was more than enough to scare him off.

You held your hands up to calm him down. “I can take care of myself, Jungkook,” you assured him. “He got a nice slap from me,” you beamed.

He breathed a sigh, relaxing his body into the couch cushion. “I’m sorry the meeting wasn’t everything you had hoped for.”

You shrugged. “It’s whatever. I’m sure something better will come along.”

“I’m sure it will.”

“So, what were you doing on a Friday night? I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” You scanned the room, and there was nothing indicating he had company over.

Jungkook pouted, shaking his head. “Just hanging out with Bam.”

“No girlfriend or anything?”

Jungkook suppressed a smile, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe this was your subtle way of asking if he was seeing anyone. “No. No girlfriend. LA girls aren’t really my type.” Because you were, he thought. As hard as he tried to let you go, he just couldn’t.

You hummed and then wanted to kick yourself because that question came out of nowhere, but it was the question lingering on your mind ever since he had left. Someone who looked like him would’ve surely had women lined out the door, ready and willing to date him and bear his children.

“What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, avoiding your gaze.

“No. No boyfriend.”

“So, you’re not seeing that Yoongi guy?”

You licked your lips, the corners of your mouth curving into a smile. “I’m guessing you heard that name from Yuna or Taehyung?” He nodded. “He’s just a friend and a pain in my ass.”

“Ah–got it.”

“And what about Alex? Is she still around?” You couldn’t not ask. It was like a giant elephant hanging out in the room with you.

Jungkook figured her name would come up sooner or later. “Alex’s not working for the company anymore. She moved out of the country.”

“Good,” you huffed; if she wasn't near Jungkook, that made you happy.

“You really hate her, huh?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

Jungkook softly chuckled, letting a beat pass. “I’m sorry, by the way.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Everything that happened with us.”

“I’m sorry too.” Your lips thinned, your fingers unconsciously picking at your hand.

“Why are you sorry?”

You appreciated that he didn't point out your flaws, but he wasn’t the only one at fault. Neither one of you was perfect. “Jungkook, you’re not the only one to blame. I should have communicated my feelings better when we were together.”

He nodded in agreement. “Do you think you could ever forgive me?”

Initially, it was hard to even think about forgiving Jungkook, but as time passed, the pain and hurt subsided. “Mm. I forgive you. Do you forgive me?”

“Yes,” he chimed in. You chuckled at how fast he answered. “What?” He raised his eyebrow.

You shook your head. “Nothing–”

“Just say it.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because—I just—shouldn’t.” You wanted to say you found him cute and endearing and that he forgave others too quickly.

“Fine,” he pouted, shifting his leg onto the couch.

Your mouth opens involuntarily, exhaling a yawn from exhaustion. The time difference really fucked you up. Quickly, you covered it with both hands and excused yourself.

“Am I boring you?” Jungkook teased.

“Yes, actually. I hadn’t realized you’d become so dull,” you quipped, covering another yawn. “See—so boring that you’re making me sleepy.” You leaned on your arm against the back cushion.

“Or maybe you’re just becoming an old lady.”

You scoffed. “I’m an old lady? You’re the one who’s staying in on a Friday night! Old man.”

“Yeah, I had to stay in, just in case an old lady needed me.” Jungkook giggled and looked away before returning to meet your eyes. “I’ve missed this.”

“What?”

“Us.”

It was this specific moment when you moved into flight mode. You gave a half-smile and shifted your position so your feet touched the ground. You checked your phone for the time. “I should get an Uber and go back to my hotel.”

“I can take you.”

“Jungkook, you’ve done so much for me already. I don’t want you to have to drive back and forth.”

“I don’t mind—honestly.”

You stood up. “I know you don’t—but I do. It’s okay—really.” You unlocked your phone and pulled up the app, determined to call for a car. All of this was becoming too much for you, for your heart. His presence, the giggles, the familiarity of what the two of you used to be.

Jungkook stood and walked over to you, gently pushing away your phone. “What’s going on? Tell me the truth.” He could always tell when your mind was working overload—racing with thought after thought.

Should you tell him why you needed to leave after the two of you had a nice, civil conversation without screaming or yelling? Your therapist did tell you that no one would know how you feel unless you told them—and you just told Jungkook that you should communicate better.

Ugh, goddamnit.

Speak now or forever, hold your peace.

You didn’t want to revert back to your old ways—being anxious, self-conscious, unsure of what you wanted. You sighed. “The truth?” Jungkook nodded. “The truth is—I probably shouldn’t have called you.”

“Why?” he asked as his starry eyes gazed deeply into your soul.

“Because—I was—I am scared.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrow, unsure of why you’d be scared. “Scared of what?”

“I was scared that if I called you and we talked—old feelings would resurface, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.”

“You still have feelings for me?”

“I think so? I’m—I’m not sure,” you stammered. “That’s why I didn’t call you in the first place when I knew I was coming to LA, and then when I happened to bump into you—well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that yes, I still have feelings for you.”

His eyes fell to the floor, and he sucked in his lips, trying not to smile, before looking back at you. “Am I the mistake?”

You shook your head. “You were never a mistake.”

“Then what mistakes are you referring to?”

You hung your head and sat back down, and Jungkook followed suit. You nibbled on the inside of your cheek, and he looked at you, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know. Me—falling too fast, building fantasies inside my head, knowing it’ll never be real, not saying how I feel, pushing away people who love me. Should I keep going?”

“So, you didn’t want to call me and come here because you were scared all that’s gonna happen if you talked to me? Is that right?”

It sounded ridiculous, but he hit the nail on the head.

You hummed.

There was the slimmest chance of you bumping into Jungkook while in the same city, but you hadn’t fully prepared yourself if you did bump into him. You weren’t ready for the unresolved feelings and the smallest flutters of butterflies, your body to warm up to the simplest of accidental touches and soft giggles.

You could’ve just sucked it up, called an Uber, returned to your hotel, and tried to brush off the slimy interaction with the Netflix exec, but instead, you called the one person you knew would bring you comfort—Jungkook.

Should you just be completely honest and bare your soul? You were halfway there. Maybe it was time to grow up and just say what the fuck you wanted.

Jungkook was silent and waited to see if you had anything else.

You cleared your throat, thinking it was now or never.

“Our breakup,” you paused to recollect yourself and to stop your lips from quivering so much. You started again, “Our breakup—it really fucked me up. You left without saying goodbye, and after that, I kind of spiraled—drinking every day, showing up late to set, and ditching our friends. Hell—I almost let some random guy fuck me in a bathroom.”

You sighed. “I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, but I needed to go through all those things to be where I am today. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and had a lot of healing through therapy, a solo trip, and some new friends–okay, just one new friend, but that's beside the point–I just don’t want to go back to the same person I was before.”

Jungkook opened his mouth to speak, but you stopped him.

“I’m not saying that being here with you again will make me become the person I was before—I just want to make better decisions being the new person I am now.”

Finally, hearing how you felt after all this time relieved him. He had waited so long for you to finally share yourself with him.

Jungkook’s mouth moved from side to side, nibbling on his bottom lip before he spoke, “I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. The weekend in Jeju really fucked me up. So much was happening with Taehyung and Hyunie’s wedding, and then we were on the brink of breaking up while pretending to be happy. My heart and my mind were all over the place. Then I saw you with Yoongi, and that really sent me over the edge because that’s when I knew I had lost you and could never get you back—no matter how hard I tried, I don’t think anything would’ve worked. So—I left.”

Your jaw tightened, trying to hold back tears as Jungkook recounted his side of the story. You didn’t know he saw you with Yoongi; it must’ve been shortly after you returned from Jeju. And as much as you were hurting, so was he.

Well, since both of you were in apology mode.

“I’m sorry too,” you said. “Growing up, it was only me. I had to do everything myself because my parents weren’t really there for me, and so I always felt like I didn’t want to bother others with my burdens. I know it’s not an excuse, but I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to do everything alone—that it’s okay to ask for help. So, I’m sorry I never communicated well and kept things from you.”

He licked his lips, thinking about how new this was all for him—you baring your feelings. “No, that makes sense. I get it.”

“You do?”

“I mean—I’m not perfect either. We both made mistakes, but you’re wrong about one thing.”

You raised your eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“You had me and Yuna, and you know my mom loves you like you’re her own. She might love you more than she loves me,” he said. “And you know you can always tell me what’s going on. I’ll always be here for you—no matter what happens between us.”

You grinned because he was right. You had overlooked the huge part that their family played in your life. You couldn’t discount that.

“If there’s one thing I truly regret from all of this—it’s cutting ramen out of my diet since I’ve moved here,” he joked to lighten the mood.

You dramatically gasped, covering your mouth. “You cut ramen from your diet? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”

The two of you giggled.

“I guess we’ve both done some growing up, huh?” Jungkook knocked his knee into yours.

“Yeah, looks like it.”

“So, what now?”

You shrugged, unsure of Jungkook’s feelings, but you wanted to express yours. “I don’t want to wake up one day and regret not trying again. I want you. I want all of you, but I'm scared—scared that I'll get hurt and go back to my old ways. I’ve had a lot of healing, and I'm in a good place, but seeing you again, being near you, makes me want to forget everything that has happened and jump in your arms and tear off your clothes.”

Jungkook covered his mouth as he silently chuckled at your confession.

“Are you basking in my misery?” you sneered.

His lips turned into a pout as he shook his head. “No, I just—this is what I wanted all along while we were dating.”

“What? Me acting like a fool?”

“No—you telling me how you feel, tell me how much you want me, to claim me as yours.”

You opened your mouth and made a face. “You want me to grovel? Get on my knees?”

Jungkook bit his tongue when you got down on your knees in front of him. He had to tell himself and his dick to calm the fuck down because it was not the time and place to be thinking of such naughty things.

You gazed up at him; seeing him squirm was fun. “You like me on my knees?” you asked, sitting back on your legs.

He cleared his throat, adjusting his sweats as he shifted back on the couch. He thought back to the very first time you sucked him off after having dinner with Yuna and your mom. “I’m sorry. I think you were confessing your love for me. Go on. I’m all ears.”

You smacked his thigh. “I’m—you’re ruining this moment!”

“I’m ruining it? You’re the one who got down on your knees! You know how much I love that,” he mumbled the last of his words.

You turned and cupped your ear toward him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that.”

“Just—go on. You were saying?” He cocked his head to the side, waiting for you.

You huffed, tilting your head back before landing on his sparkly doe eyes and cute little dimple peeking through. “I am stupidly in love with you, Jeon Jungkook, and I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you again.”

Jungkook felt a sense of relief when he heard those words, but there was still a small sliver of fear. “What if we’re just fooling ourselves into thinking this will work?”

“Then I guess we can be fools together.”

After baring your soul to Jungkook, you wanted nothing more than to jump into his lap and ride him like an endless merry-go-round, but you’ve changed and didn’t want to regret anything going forward with him. The two of you needed to take things slow and steady because you wanted to win the race.

The two of you stayed up late—talking, drinking beer, and catching each other up on life until the sun came up. It was like no time had passed, and you picked up right where you left off.

Bam had taken a liking to you, staying by your side, following you whenever you got up and moved around. He wouldn’t let you out of his sight. He definitely took after Jungkook.

The size of your bladder warranted another trip to the bathroom, and when you returned to where Jungkook and Bam were, you noticed Jungkook in a compromising position.

“Why are you on one knee? Are you taking a page out of my book?” you teased, not wanting to jump to any conclusions because you both agreed on taking it slow.

Without an answer, he took out something he was hiding behind his back. He held a blue velvet box in the palm of his hand.

Your eyes widened, and your heart raced rapidly because you knew exactly where that box was from. You and Yuna had looked at engagement rings for hours on end when the two of you thought Namjoon was getting ready to propose. You had mentioned it too many times to Jungkook while the two of you were dating. There’s no way he’d be proposing, right?

This whole thing with Jungkook was new—well, not really new, but you’d have to turn him down if he were to ask your hand in marriage. You were definitely not ready because the two of you had just agreed to try this relationship again.

“What the fuck is that? It better be a ring pop,” you implored. He slowly shook his head, beaming a smile from ear to ear. You repeated ‘no’ under your breath, shaking your head.

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Oh—I know what it is!”

Jungkook leaned over on his knee toward you. “Okay, so tell me.”

“It’s—it’s the ring that I couldn’t stop talking about. Why do you have it?”

He giggled at how cute and flustered you had become. “For once, you’re wrong.”

“I’m never wrong,” you huffed.

He stood, making his way to you, lifting your chin with his index finger. He stared deeply into your eyes. “You are completely and utterly wrong.”

You pouted and crossed your arms. “Prove it.”

Jungkook sighed at how stubborn you were. He opened the blue velvet box, and it was not the ring you had envisioned. “It’s a promise ring.” Because it was the ring that complimented the engagement set.

You visibly gulped, and there was a sense of relief. “A promise ring?”

He nodded. “You are everything I could ever want and more. It’s always been you, and there’s gonna be no one else for me. You are worth walking through hell and back, and considering we’ve done that already—I’d do it again if I had to, but please, please—I don’t want to do it again,” he pleaded, making you smile. “If you’ll let me, I want to love you and show you I’m worthy of your love every day for the rest of my life.”

You found yourself grinning from ear to ear, loving his little declaration of love. You moved closer to him, looking at the ring and then at him. “I want to make this right—us. I was wrong for not fighting for you—for us, and I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

He pulled the ring from the box, grabbed your left hand, and placed the piece of jewelry on your finger. “We’re in this together—you and me.”

You glanced at the ring, smiling at how pretty it looked on your finger. “You and me.”

A lot has happened in the last 24 hours—you flew to LA, had your meeting, and rekindled your relationship with Jungkook. The last thing wasn’t anything you expected, but it became the silver lining to this short trip you were dreading in the first place.

The pair of you couldn’t stop smiling and giggling in the elevator up to your hotel room–mind you, you’d kept your distance from him the entire night, but it was becoming pure and complete utter torture.

Your time in LA was already coming to an end, and everything in you wanted to just leave your life behind and stay, but you had to resist; you had to fight it—at least for now.

“So,” you trailed off, unsure what to say to him.

“So,” he repeated, leaning next to your door.

You both smiled and laughed at the tension filling the hallway.

“Do you,” you paused to think through your words, “want to come in until I have to leave?” This was a good boundary, you thought–just until you had to leave for the airport.

Jungkook licked his lips, flipping his lip ring back and forth with his tongue. His eyes explored your face before landing on your lips. “I’d love to, but we know if I do, then you won't get anything packed, and you’ll for sure miss your flight.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, and playfully smacked his chest. “I have no idea what you’re alluding to, mister.”

But you fucking knew and wanted it too.

He eliminated the distance between you, slowly caging you against the door. You closed your eyes when he gently caressed your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You had forgotten how much you had missed his touch—your body was glowing inside, illuminated from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. You wanted nothing but to savor this moment—a moment you thought ceased to exist, a moment you thought only existed in your reveries.

The tiny hairs on your skin, tingling, standing on their end in anticipation of an expected kiss. All this tension was killing you softly.

His other hand snaked around the nape of your neck, pulling you even closer. Your eyes fluttered open, watching his lips part, his breaths slowing down, and you were trying to remember if they were still soft and had the faintest taste of strawberry. And you wanted to gently tug on that silver piece of jewelry and hear him whine because of it.

Your stomach somersaults like there’s a gymnast going for the gold for the floor exercise when his body brushes against yours. The twitch in his black sweats is what really makes you melt and clench around nothing. It's been far too long since you've been touched, and he was the only one that could bring you pleasure.

“Can I kiss you?” His eyes are desperately darting back and forth between yours, waiting for your okay.

“Please,” you pleaded, almost inaudible if he wasn't so close.

He doesn’t go right in like you expected. He took his time, both hands cupping your face and your hands gripping his tiny waist like nothing had ever stopped between the two of you. The tip of his nose nudged yours, his lips lightly feathering across the top of your lips—not going in just yet. His warm hot breath fans the ever-growing desire within you. It was thrilling for him to rediscover everything he loved about you.

You closed your eyes in excitement, scrunching the bottom of his shirt in your hands. You slightly tugged on it, wanting him to hurry and just fucking kiss you already. You had never known him to be so careful, so gentle.

He giggled at your frustration. “I thought we were taking things slow.”

You deadpanned. “It’s too slow,” you whined, trying to reach for his lips, but he pulled back. “I thought you wanted to kiss me?”

Jungkook flashed a soft smile, his dimple on display. “I do.”

“Then shut up and do it already,” you pouted. You couldn't handle the teasing between you anymore. You wanted to make up for everything lost within the last year. If you had all the time in the world, you’d want him to do anything and everything to you, but that day would have to wait.

He tilted his head and leaned in; his nose nuzzled into the side of your face, and the deep yearning you’d hidden inside was released as his lips finally found yours. Lips on lips delicately caressing and wandering like the two of you were in a drought, in desperate search of food and water.

You gently nipped on his bottom lip, lightly pulling on his ring before kissing the side of his mouth. He grinned, thinking he’d get you back for that, not today but soon. Your hands traced the curves of his body, causing him to press himself further into you. The evident erection in his sweats tells you how much he was enjoying this too.

The kiss became heated and fervent, like an all-consuming fire taking everything in its path. Your hands are placed on his toned chest, holding on for dear life as he presses you against the door, breathing life back into you like your life depends on it.

You pulled back, gasping for air, but he leaned in, wanting just a bit more. You’re intoxicating, and he’s greedy. He’s a man starved from your touch and kisses. There’s no way he’ll ever let you go again. He’d fight for you until his very last breath.

Your arms drape around his neck, your fingers twirling and tugging at the ends of his long hair. You deepen the kiss, your warm tongue nipping at his mouth, begging for more access to him. Kissing isn't enough anymore. You needed him—all of him. To rediscover his deepest desires, wants, and needs was the only job you wanted right now.

Jungkook withdrew from your kiss. “You have to pack.”

You took a moment to catch your breath. “Or you can come inside and help me pack.” You moved in again for another kiss, but he resisted.

“I would love that, but…” he trailed off, letting the desire within subside.

Your lips thinned. “But then we wouldn’t be taking it slow, would we?” He nods. “I should pack.”

He leaned in to quickly give you a peck on the lips. “Mm, you should.”

Your shoulders slump, and you tilt your head against the door. “But I don’t want to.”

“But you have to.” You groaned and stomped your feet like baby Indie. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Not soon enough.”

bonus (jk pov - hotel)

“Sorry, I got here early, but some lady was taking forever to get her luggage,” the driver said as Jungkook’s colleague opened the door.

"You coming?" His colleague asked from inside the car.

"...uh, you go on without me. I left my phone inside. I'll catch an Uber."

His colleague shrugged and shut the door behind him before the car took off. Jungkook stood before the hotel's entrance, unsure whether to enter or just leave.

He thought he saw you while waiting outside the restaurant, but he figured it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. Even if it was really you, he wasn't sure he was ready to face you, let alone know what to say. He abruptly left without explaining his actions. He didn't think when he did it, which was a stupid, rash decision he later regretted. He couldn't bear the heartache of being so close to you.

The plan was to get as far away as possible so he could forget, but the problem was that he couldn't. You were the love of his life (yes, even at the tender age of 25). He had no desire for anyone else. Even when gorgeous women were flinging themselves at him in this new city. He wasn't concerned with them because they weren't you.

Everything made him think of you. From peonies to hot tubs and even bowling. He'd go back and say goodbye if he could. He despised the way things ended.

Before he knew it, his foot had stepped past the sliding glass door, heading in, unsure of where even to begin. He began his search as he walked through the lobby, peering at the reception desk.

He noticed a woman standing at the counter. Maybe your hair had grown out. Approaching the woman, he tapped them on the shoulder. "Noona..."

When the woman turned around, Jungkook quickly apologized before returning and going on the hunt for you. You may have already gone to your room, but he wasn't about to give up so easily. He'd be sorry if he missed you by a millisecond. Could his eyes be deceiving him? Maybe he didn't see you just standing there. Maybe he missed you so much that he imagined everything.

He told himself he'd look for ten minutes before giving up and going home. He walked around the lobby, past the reception desk, down the hallway, and even took the elevator up a few floors before returning down.

He was sure the workers thought he was creeping around and wouldn't be surprised if they had called security. He only had a few minutes before calling it quits and heading home. He walked past the restaurant he was just at, then took a few steps back.

What if you had gone to get a drink?

It didn't take long for him to notice you sitting alone at the bar, waving the bartender down to order. His eyes were not deceiving him; he was not insane.

It was you.

You were absolutely stunning, he thought. Even after a year apart, you’d become more beautiful than ever. He needed a moment to take you all in because he didn’t think he’d ever see you again—here in LA.

Every heartbeat was like a metronome, keeping in sync with every step he took toward you. He drew a deep breath and closed his eyes as he stood behind you, his mind racing with the right words—what would he say after a year?

“Is this seat taken?”

Fuck—if he could, he’d punch himself. He could’ve come up with something better.

✨ next ~ drabble ~ dream bigger, darling

#jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #fic: this is us #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook noona #jungkook drama #jungkook romance #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts x you #bts x reader #bts x y/n

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hots0s · 5 months

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Hello there, I've mostly been lurking on this tag for a while but finally worked up the courage to ask for something.

Since you wanted to have some prompts for "pathetic" Kai, may I request / give you an idea ? First of all, it's so sad how few gay readers there are for this man, so could it be an x male reader ? Gender neutral is fine too, I'm just sick of seeing 'she's everywhere lol.

So my idea was that the reader somehow gets a hold of post Tartarus breakout Kai and takes care of him. Some nice simple fluff like idk, cooking a meal, bathing him etc.

Totally fine if you don't want this prompt, have a great day either way :3

as a gay dude who’s obsessed w him i would be delighted to anon, thank you for the ask!!

it is mostly fluff however i did get a bit carried away ngl i just can’t help myself w him he’s very kissable ok

“chin up, please.”

kai’s golden eyes slowly roll to fix on yours and the long pause teases you with the possibility that he’s going to disobey before he does do as you’ve requested, tipping his head back and gazing dull at the mouldy ceiling. you sigh in relief that he’s not in one of his argumentative moods, something that’s becoming more and more regular these days, and despite your own feelings it is preferable to the zombie act. he’s becoming much livelier since you’d first taken him in which is a good thing. it’s been tough but you’ve always been patient and nothing if not persistent with those in need— and he needs you.

you dip the straight razor in the sink and flick a few water droplets off, taking gentle hold of his jaw and gliding the blade up his neck with practiced ease. it feels as erotic as you imagine it looks— two men in a cramped bathroom, half naked, touching. you really want to get off the edge of the bathtub and sit on him instead but there’s something stopping you. he’s unpredictable as he is alluring and you don’t want to ruin it. you can admit to yourself that you are enjoying this, that you’re enjoying his vulnerability and your role as his sole caretaker, glad that he relies on you for everything from changing clothes to feeding himself to something as simple as a shower and a shave. he’s not totally helpless but he’s definitely gotten used to being babied. it’s more than fine in your books, it feels good to protect and love him as he is. how terribly fond of him you’ve grown.

you’ve intentionally drawn out the last few scrapes and if he notices it he doesn’t mention it. underneath the overwhelming scent of shaving foam and cheap shampoo you can smell him. it’s barely there, naturally, for someone who demands a shower twice a day, but you can pick it up. it’s nothing but utterly pleasant and you want to bury your face into him and just inhale. for as many dirty fantasies as you’ve had about him, somehow that one feels peculiarly perverted. red faced, you pull back to inspect your work, tilting his head this way and that. his eyes don’t leave yours.

“you put any thought into a moustache yet?” you ask. the look he gives you speaks volumes of his thoughts on that. “just kidding.”

chisaki sighs deeply as you chuckle and grab a dry towel to dab his cheeks and neck with. you feel refreshed just touching his newly bare skin. inwardly you mourn the loss of his stubble but for the pleasure of shaving him alone you’ll let it go. he’s gorgeous either way and you let your admiration show. his nose scrunches up at the intense scrutiny and he shies away from you, as if you hadn’t just helped him wash himself.

“don’t do that,” you murmur, turning him back to face you. you doubt he’s ever put much thought into his looks but you are curious to know if he’s aware of how pretty he is. of all the words to describe a persons beauty you think that’s what suits him most. you’ve told him so, just to embarrass him.

affection was not something usually invited but you know his tells well enough by now to see that he’s wanting, another little thing that’s become more frequent the more comfortable he gets with you. you caress his cheek like he’s something precious and press your lips to his neck, open mouthed and slow and purely indulgent. you smile at the sigh this elicits and he all but melts into you, allowing you to run your hand through his auburn hair and wrap the other around him. he’s practically on top of you and still it’s not enough, you want him impossibly closer, so you take a risk at a potentially embarrassing fall or rejection and tug him onto your lap. it’s a pleasant surprise when he doesn’t disagree and gives you a smouldering kiss of your own, no stubble burn to accompany it. he tastes good and clean, so, so clean. you want to devour him.

after a minute of passion he rests his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes. flushed and breathing a little heavier, you rub your hand up and down the smooth expanse of his back, over rippling muscles that somehow survived his imprisonment. “okay?” you ask, breathless.

you feel him nod against you. “tired.” he mumbles. “we’d have to shower again.”

you laugh a little, squeezing him affectionately. “alright. c’mon then, we’ll dry your hair and go to bed. unless you’re hungry?”

“no.“

he makes no move to get off you.

“kai?”

he hesitates before he asks, so quiet you barely hear it. “… carry me?”

you wonder why now, after all you’ve done for him, he sounds so unsure. you give him a final kiss that you hope reassures and conveys your utter devotion to him. you haul yourself off the tub and carry him to bed, knowing that if he still had his arms, he’d be holding you just as tight.

#chisaki kai #overhaul #chisaki overhaul #bnha chisaki #overhaul x reader

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backstage-if · 1 day

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please, share with us your post-divorce headcanons about the RO’s 🙏🏽🙏🏽 The people (me) live for the angst

Typical recently divorced look | Joy, Neil

Physically the same | C, Spencer

Post-divorce glow | A

It changes on whether they have kids, who initiated it, if there were any affairs (please don't cheat on my babies), but let's go with a simple scenario where the MC is the one who filled for divorce, no cheating, simply done with the marriage 👇👇👇

C — Again?! They would be embarassed for giving it a second chance no matter how many years they've spent together, and initially just their parents (after a few 'where are you two going to visit? why haven't MC answered my calls?') and (really) close friends know. C is a hopeless romantic and they had that "we found our way back to each other, we're meant to be" mind about the MC. So frustated about the situation. Acts indifferent towards their ex-spouse, but they feel... lost. They didn't saw an ending coming, but they understand that now there's no way back and would be really pissed if MC asked for one.

Neil — Feels torn inside, thinks he is hiding it just fine but actually looks like a mess to everyone else. Saw it coming, but believed the relationship could still be saved. Wouldn't ask to get back together, but would be willing to accept even if their "back together" is actually the "one last mistake with my ex before i move on" for MC (but he feels pathetic afterwards). Would throw himself at every other aspect of his life after the initial glooming — Work? Enters classes, writes during the night, start three new projects. (If they have) Kids? He already was an involved father and now he is 2x. Same with friends and his siblings. Can't be sad if you don't have time to think about it 😌

Joy — She is shocked at first, can't really articulate anything to say. I think she runs away afterwards and goes to her parents or a close friend's house and simply cries for a while. Has a good cry maybe for the first few days. Says she is fine being just friends if that's what MC wants and doesn't distance herself (she should), acts like it's all fine (it isn't) and even jokes about the situation (laughing through the pain). A part of her still thinks they could work again, and she gives herself false hope for a while.

Spencer — Made peace with that during their marriage, actually. Spencer felt like something shifted between them and was expecting the end for a few months by the time it comes. Every day was a little, like, 'was that our last kiss? is it too late for us to create happy memories?' for them. Nostalgic for something that hadn't ended yet. I guess they tried to save the relationship at the start (planning better dates, being their best self), but ended up frustated when it didn't work and made it worse. Yeah. Spencer is the RO who takes the divorce better.

A — Some days sad, but mostly spiteful. Once they hear the word 'divorce', it's over for good. Maybe there's a short lived argument between them. Either MC leaves their home, or A does, but they're not spending another second together after A says what they need to. Tells MC that anything they might have to discuss further can be said directly to A's lawyers. Blocks MC everywhere — unless they have kids, then they answer only the necessary and tries to put on a good front for the kids' sake. Wouldn't come back together, wouldn't want to be friends.

#ask #scenarios #about the characters #ch: c. ralph #ch: neil sadecki #ch: spencer caetano #ch: joy pham #ch: a. bhandari

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wannab-urs · 1 year

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The Spreadsheet Digest - Fic Recs | Vol 4

Hi lovely followers! Here are all the fics I read this week with my attached notes!

As always, you can find the full spreadsheet here! This week I decided to keep my new fics separate from the list AND I added some fics from before I started doing the digest (these won't have notes because I didn't used to do that lol).

Remember to check warnings on all fics before proceeding! I read a wide range of ratings...

Begging a Dieter one shot by @absurdthirst

-> Subby Dieter is my favorite thing on the planet and this is just... so fucking good. The whimpering and whining and absurd bargaining? Gimme gimme.

KitKat in the Minibar a Dieter one shot by @sneetsnootyoit

-> Dieter eating pussy in various situations inspired by an ask I did for someone else!! It's so cool that someone saw an ask I did before I started writing and turned in into a fic.

Watch you watch him f*ck his wife a Javi G one shot by @toxicanonymity

-> What if Nicholas Cage actually watched you fuck Javi G? Why am i into this? Why is Nick into this? What is wrong with us collectively as a species? brb reading again

Left in Lincoln a Joel series by @toxicanonymity

-> I usually don't go for super innocent or virgin reader fics because I uh... cannot relate. But I am really really into Joel in this. I want him to teach me everything. Also Bill and Frank being your dads is so fun

The Things We Do For Love a Frankie one shot by @beskarberry

-> I am aggressively not a breeding kink girlie and can occasionally get a little freaked out by fics that discuss pregnancy.... BUT!!! Someone sent this to me and I saw that it was supposed to be a realistic and funny fic. Perfect for Frankie and I love funny sex... and I adored this. I kind of scrolled past or ignored all the baby talk, but the actual sex reminded me of ya know... actual sex. So breeding kink girlies this one's for you!

Cherry Flavoured a Dieter one shot by @pedrito-friskito

AH my favorite kind of Dieter! Pathetic druggie asshole. I wish I was kidding, I am so down bad for him. This would make an excellent series...

Satellite a Javi P one shot by @jksprincess10

-> You try not to fuck your boss Javi Peña and like obviously you fail at that. And it's really hot

Dressed For Revenge a Joel series by @jksprincess10

-> Listen I happen to know this fic is going to blow your fucking mind. So read the prologue + first chapter, follow, turn on post notifs, and wait to be obliterated.

A kiss before dying and in death we combine a Joel one shot by @oonajaeadira

-> Stumbled across this because someone reblogged it gushing and then obviously I reblogged it gushing. Major Character Death warning but if you're going to read a fic where it happens, this is the one. I sobbed in my bed at 3 am and it was WORTH IT

Good. Things. Take. Time. a Pedro ATS series by @oonajaeadira

-> A mutual sent this to me because they know I love Adira's work. I haven't even seen Calls, had to google what Pedro Across the Street was, etc. But as far as I know this is an AU? Idk it doesn't matter. I love a smut marathon. A smut marathon with a beautiful story arc and the smut never gets boring even though it's over 20 parts? sign me up.

Chest Press a Joel series by @toxicanonymity

-> Dark!Joel/personal trainer!Joel getting a little too handsy at the gym. You pretend you aren't into it but like... who are we kidding it's Joel Miller. You're into it. And he can tell.

Night Shift a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

-> Based on Nightshift by Lucy Dacus (of boygenius). This is so good. Sadness/Angst/Heartbreak for like a couple thousand words but you're rewarded with smut... and we all know I love angst anyway lmao

Tommy's Hard Day a Joel/Tommy one shot by @toxicanonymity

-> Tommy had a hard day, so Joel asks you to help him feel better... Let's take a trip to Paris babies

Red Lace a Javi P one shot by @jksprincess10

-> This is hitting on so many of my fantasies rn... we got bondage, thigh riding, office sex, dirty talk... and more. Kill me I could die happy

------- Fics that I read a while ago -------

All our candles are burned out a Dieter/Frankie one shot by @psychedelic-ink

The Ethics of Forging Masterpieces an Ezra one shot by @write-and-buried

Good Soldier a Frankie one shot by @mishasminion360

Reflective a Max Phillips one shot by @prolix-yuy

Palomino a Jack series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Spent a Din one shot by @joelscruff

-------- My New Fics ---------

Burn Slowly / I Love You - a smutty and angsty Frankie (abandoned) series

Perfecta, mi amor - soft dom!Javi one shot

Thunder Buddies - a fluffy joel one shot

Anything for you, babe - a smutty Frankie one shot

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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felixwaffling · 5 months

Text

Totally different vibe but I'm gay and thinking so much about him. This post might get nsfw, folks.

I'm smitten. Sure we have our problems, I mean, of course we do, he's dating ME- But FUCK, man. It's like how I felt with Alex except Victor is a good person who actually loves me. He's way stronger than me, which makes me SHAKE bro. He could hurt me if he wanted to, but he's so nice. He calls me things that have me on my fucking knees.

Like. Hooooly shit I can't wait til I get a chance to meet him in person bc when I say I'm gonna do whatever he wants... I MEAN WHATEVER. Like. I will be incapable of saying no. I will be pathetic.

Imagine if we meet in a bar and I get super drunk and kiss him dude that- HGJDHDBFHFHD.

I want him. I want him ON ME. I legit- like. I'm acespec, sex repulses me, the thought of being touched is so scary, but like I'd let him be all over me if he actually wanted me. I'd let him do ANYTHING.

I am so fucking attracted to this guy, and we have so much in common that some days we do nothing but play video games for literally the whole day together... We play almost every night and he puts up with my drunk nonsense, he doesn't complain <333

I wish I could tell him about the shit I'm into bc the only way this could get better is if I get proper dominated man I'm- I'm weak, I'm small, I like hiding behind people and letting them make all the decisions. I'm a dog for this man. I'm property.

FUCK I am drunk rn and if any of my friends find this I'm going to be humiliated beyond belief, they don't-

Nobody knows how much I want this man to fuck me and it weighs heavy, like, I don't even think he knows how I'd kill for him to both absolutely wreck me AND baby me.

Bc on one hand. I'm a little baby. I'm pure. I'm innocent. Treat me like a little goober and hold me and. IDK FUCK MAYBE I JUST HAVE DADDY ISSUES BC I THINK IM ASKING FOR A DILF-

... but on the other hand, I'm a bad person, I'm the worst, I'm whatever villain you need me to be just PLEASE put me in my fucking place I *WANT* you to punish me I'm like literally asking for it, I'm doing shit that gets on ur nerves bc I wanna be RAILED man I WOULD BE SO MUCH LESS ANNOYING IF YOUD JUST SLAM ME AGAINST THE WALL AND BREAK ME WHEN IM A LITTLE BITCH

HhHh.

I still can't believe I'm saying all this shit

I'm beyond wasted. Like. Intoxicated moreso than usual. Typing this so far has taken an HOUR and I got sad halfway through out of humiliation and went to write that first post. But even through all the drinking, all I can really think about is being pinned to his bed 👉👈,,,

,,, it's not just sex either bc I want kisses. Neck kisses. Like. Damn. I want him to hold me from behind. I want to cling to him. Hide my face against him. If he touched my face I would do the fucking meme thing and refuse to let go of his hand. I want to snuggle against him and just. Disappear for a while.

.... I want to cry myself to sleep in *his arms* instead of on my own. I hug my pillows and try desperately to pretend they're him. I see him when I fall asleep, when I'm alone, when I'm sad... when I'm fucking suicidal the thing that stops me is that then I'd have to wait who KNOWS how long for him to live out his own life, and that I might have to watch him fall in love with someone else (the worst thing ever)

If. If I ever lost him idk what I'd do because fuck dude. He's everything. Victor is my world. I want to meet him.

.... I also want him to control every aspect of my life and tell me what to do bc without guidance I drown. Ppl might think it'd be toxic, but I think I need that in my life. I hate making decisions. I want to sit quietly and let him think, bc I'm bad at thinking, and thinking overwhelms me. I want him to hide me behind him and be the one to handle the world so that I can just be *his.*

UGH. THIS IS THE HORNIEST, SAPPIEST FUCKING POST IVE EVER MADE EVER.

#felix kranken is real but hes an 18 year old fat transmasc kid sorry guys #Rambling about my hot ass boyfriend #vent post #drunk posting #vent #lgbtq relationships #embarassing

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ambreiiigns · 1 year

Note

Ok spit it out, what's with these doubleblack yaoi boys you've been posting. um spill? don't worry about spoilers, i don't want to watch anime i just want to know

doubleblack yaoi boys. ok so first of all sorry for answering Days later i hope u still see this i'm so sorry i don't even know how to explain myself i don't remember what i've been doing. yesterday i was watching a bunch of friday the 13th movies but besides that i have no excuses. secondly i love the energy bc this is exactly how i ended up watching bsd i just cared about them a lot and learned everything i could until i decided i got this far i might as well just watch the damn thing. and i will say w the experience i have. it's not worth it babe just look at them they're the best part you're not missing out. anyway. i don't KNOW WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY UMMMMM the source material is this thing called bungo stray dogs it Is funny bc they decided the way to go abt this was make anime boys out of famous authors and like put half of them in the mafia so you have to sit there and nod when they call edgar allan poe a famous criminal or whatever. like 👍 and then they have powers based on one of their most famous books or whatever. and they're faggy. you will have to see people talk abt fyodor dostoevsky getting hole.

but besides all the Sillies. the doubleblack boys you ask about have genuinely honest to fucking god become like. one of my favorite pairing like. thematically or whatever. their dynamic is insane they are so cool. uhhhh hang on i'm embarassed let me hide

idk they're. they meet at 15 years of age teenagers by my chemical romance blasting. dazai is a member of the local /mafia/ and he's like a pathetic wet cat. he's sad and weird. he feels bored w life and finds it to be, frankly, Not Worth It so he's like passively suicidal but he won't straight up DO IT bc he doesn't like to be in pain bc he's a little baby. he joined the mafia thinking that maybe if he exposes himself to death and violence he'll change his mind but it hasn't worked yet it just made him Fucked Up. his special ability is called no longer human and he can switch off anyone's powers by touching them and it kinda gives him brainworms (will elaborate later). he's the one w the dark hair and wrapped in bandages and the most beautiful boy in the world. chuuya is a street punk baby gang (they're called The Sheep. smh) member ajfjakfiisg he Hates the mafia Hates authority is so so loyal to his little friends and he seems to be just Amiable and likable cause everyone's immediately fond of him to some extent and he's always surrounded by friends or making small talk. and he's like so fuckin bold and brave and arrogant cause he's got according to the author Thee strongest powers in this universe so he never has to like. stop and think. his ability is called upon the tainted sorrow and controls gravity. he's so kickass and liddol. he only fights using his liddol leggies to kinda rein himself in. he's got the red hair and always wears a choker bc he's so sexy and not like other girls.

so they meet bc chuuya's gang has been getting Big thanks to his powers to the point where the mafia's concerned and also they're investigating on some rumors abt arahabaki which is like an old god. chuuya gets dragged to the mafia hq, ends up having to work w dazai to solve this arahabaki stuff, and they. boohoo they DON'T like each other they DON'T wanna work together >:((( they're little enemies to ????? but the thing is To Me they don't even. hate each other that much. like they clash personality-wise sure and they get on each other's nerves on purpose Sure but also they're kids. it's not that big of a deal. they still take time to play arcade games together and make stupid bets during their mission. they're so endearing actually. anyway the catch Is. that arahabaki is actually this thing called a singularity which is when you put together two abilities that have kinda opposite effects and the Government had been doing experiments to create that power so they can use it and CHUUYA's one of the experiments wahh!!! the result is that chuuya has Another cool power called corruption where he just goes batshit and like throws black holes around and stuff and he's unstoppable but the catch is that once he activates this power he can't stop it he just has to wait until it consumes him and he Dies. here's where dazai's nullification ability comes in. more on that later. (it's as if they can only truly Work together. it's as if they were made to be together. haha 🤪) a member of the mafia (Arthur Rimbaud) reveals that he was There when chuuya blew up bc he actually wanted to keep chuuya as a little meat puppet and use that power for himself and YET! even after hearing this! chuuya gets attached to him. like yea the two of them kill him (through the power of Holding Hands mind you) but then he visits his grave and shit. bc this was the first person to tell chuuya that he's human. coming from a place of having seen first hand what makes him feel like he isn't. so he cherishes that a lot. after that the sheep Betray chuuya after some Dazai Manipulation Of Everyone™ bc he does that yk he's a little shithead he's a little evil. BUT he kinda had good intentions bc he's Clever and Observant and noticed so easily how much the sheep were using chuuya for his abilities and he has a Thing where he doesn't. love people using chuuya like that. so he wanted to cut him out of the gang and have him join the mafia with Hiiiiim instead :) and chuuya's mad at him. cause he still took his friends away from him.

but he does join the mafia he Does kinda like it there and him and dazai are assigned to be full time Partners and they get the nickname soukoku, or double black, The Most Feared Duo in the city, thanks to their little corruption-no longer human trick that just wipes out any enemy like it's nothing. then they uhh there's a bit where chuuya is like actually pissed of at dazai unironically for Once and dazai's so mopey that he actually like behaves like a good person so chuuya forgives him. my girl is mad at me i hope i die fr. i'm not familiar enough w this Piece of Lore so i can't elaborate further but like i'm obsessed w it.

anyway THEN jump to when they're about 18 dazai makes another friend named oda who like. sure he's soul-tied to chuuya forever but oda (and Another guy who i don't even wanna Think about) are the only people he'd Call friends. (also they're like a few years older than dazai and i'm Obsessed w the fact that he's such a miserable weirdo that the only people besides chuuya that he can make genuine friends with are some. adults.) and then oda DIES and the fault lies both in the mafia and the third friend and his final words are something about how he wishes he could have gotten out of the mafia to be a good person and he hopes dazai gets to do that. and it kinda Shapes the rest of dazai's life. he switches his perspective around and decides that if exposing himself to death and violence didn't Fix him maybe now he can try being Nice and Helping People and maybe that will make him feel like it's worth being alive. so he disappears from the mafia and a while later joins a local detective agency which is where we find him when the story actually starts. the night he leaves chuuya gets drunk. because he's soo happy. (i think he lied. abt being happy)

the first time chuuya and dazai meet again after this is in some fuckin Dungeon and dazai's chained to the wall and chuuya says it looks Hot and then they talk shit and bicker until they end up collaborating and chuuya lets him go (aka dazai talks his way out of it) and then they pull some fucking cringy ass Joke and they Laugh abt it and it's like. oh wow they're still the same. after all this time apart. we're still Like That and we haven't changed. :) after That they reunite in an episode named after them where they have to babysit some creepy enby kid w a spooky evil doll and fight H. P. Lovecraft during which chuuya has to use corruption and it's Glorious. it had been said that dazai is like speechless and completely fascinated by chuuya when he uses corruption. lol.

then there's the fucking MOVIE. oh my GOD. the main thing w them from the movie is. oh man. dazai 1. joins the Bad Guys but actually he's just Infiltrating to Defeat Them From Within 2. gets found out bc he's not that smooth and stabbed w a poisoned knife 3. gets trapped in a fuckin Dragon or smth and is realistically and understandably presumed dead. and then chuuya gets called in to kill this Dragon (i will not give more context on the Dragon bc i for one just barely understand what the hell is going on) and the only choice is to use corruption even tho he gets advised to not do that since dazai's probably dead and without him chuuya WILL die too. but he's like nah no way. that cockroach would NEVER die. (i trust him) so he uses corruption smashes the dragon to bits and even in the fucking. fugue state that he gets into. he spots dazai manages to recognize him calls out his name and fucking. punches him in the face. making him swallow some antidote he had hidden in his mouth all along. bc somehow dazai ALWAYS knows (remember he's clever) and he's ALWAYS one step ahead. but chuuya always knows HIM. they hadn't discussed this they just. trusted each other to have their back no matter what. dazai trusted chuuya to make him take the antidote and chuuya trusted dazai to snap him out of corruption even when it made no sense. it's about the TRUST!!! like yea no matter the circumstances the relationships the affiliations. this is him. he's got me. hey. of course. this is insane. chuuya punches him. technically upon contact corruption is now switched off. and then dazai reaches up to touch his cheek so softly. and says "you used corruption believing in me? how beautiful" people died tbh. oh you used your super insane deadly powers? even if as far as you were concerned i was as good as dead? you trust me that much? and You trust me enough to sit around this whole movie w a pill in your teeth knowing i'd make you swallow it just at the right moment? how did he even KNOW they're so insane. (then chuuya says "yeah i believed in your disgusting vitality and craftiness" and dazai answers "that was a somewhat violent way of waking snow white" shut the fuck up tbh) this is the highest moment. i will be forever insane. and then dazai like shoved chuuya's head in his crotch but i don't fucking CARE STOP BEING HORNY

and then we get to the latest season and chapters. oh man. ok so. dazai's in superjail w his actual archnemesis Fyodor Dostoevsky. people are becoming vampires. stick w me. fyodor brings chuuya Into superjail to help him kill dazai. chuuya is now a vampire and YES he is serving cunt. dazai almost drowns fyodor and chuuya to death and does a sad gay little speech abt how it's sad that it had to end this way and "there were moments where our hearts reached out to each other" girl WHAT???? "like…" and he THINKS abt them doing the corruption trick and holding hands to defeat rimbaud and just Existing next to each other BUT WHAT HE SAYS IS NOTHING. he just waves it off like he ~actually~ can't think of anything bc he doesn't even care haha bye die!! he is so PATHETIC. he is so if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more -core tbh. he's such a liar. and THEN fyodor has chuuya shoot him in the head. lol. and what dazai has to say about THIS is like oooo maybe if i say something sweet chuuya will come back to normal. and so he says "chuuya our fate will not end in a place like this because you and i are destined to" and then he gets SHOT. IN THE HEAD!!! AND I LAUGHED ABOUT IT!!!! personally this was very "you know i… i…" "i don't know" "but he knew well enough" book reddie of them to be h. anyway. dazai's not dead. and you know what's funnier. chuuya was never even a vampire. he put on fake teeth and contacts and Lied. Pretended. Successfully. to like one of the smartest characters in this universe. hello. now i don't KNOW if i'm meant to read this as in it was always planned or if chuuya had this plan and dazai had to catch up w it like i don't know at what point does dazai know that chuuya was faking it. any theory on this is Hilarious to me. but he said the corniest shit to this man's face. good lird. yk before this season people argued that it was chuuya who cared abt dazai more and i can understand where you'd get that from considering how cold and distant and Fake dazai is (you'd be wrong and stupid) but like i feel like after this dazai's lookin pretty down bad ngl. i don't think there's any imbalance between them but if i had to pick. yk. anyway. chuuya Did actually shoot him but then he used his gravity powers to slow the bullet down Inside of the gun so that it wouldn't kill him and fyodor wouldn't see it. and dazai's like. oh yeah this trick? this little game? we used to do this all the time :) HELLO!!!!!! obsessed w THEM!!!! THEY FUCKED AROUND LIKE THIS? OF COURSE THEY DID. i KNOW they sat around age 16 and crafted the most RIDICULOUS convoluted plans Just In Case and then they give them little code names that they STILL remember YEARS after their partnership fucking ENDED this was insane. and then just walk it off? THEY ARE UNPARALLELED. PERIODT.

so. the girls who don't get it will say they hate each other or whatever. me personally i think it's bullshit. i think they just have That type of vibe. obviously they care. obviously they trust each other more than anyone else w everything they have at all times. and maybe they just also find each other fucking annoying and that's All. when they're 15 dazai finds him obnoxious bc he's too impulsive and never bothers to strategize bc he can rely on his powers being soooo fuckin strong and that's All. i think he's just jealous bc he wishes he could be as lazy as chuuya can afford to be. like he has lichrally Nothing to hate chuuya for he's perfect. chuuya on the other hand,,, besides just personality differences where he finds dazai depressing and offputting JAJDJAKFKAKG like dazai takes his friends away from him. his family the only place he feels he belongs to. i get being mad at dazai after that. but not even for long bc he ends up liking the mafia more anyway and agrees w dazai that the sheep were trash to him so what's left. i don't KNOW if dazai ever commits other significant crimes to him like 😭😭 don't get me wrong he might. i mean it when i say he's kinda evil. he might have done some other shit and i'm forgetting. but i don't think there's anything major that causes genuine hate. the closest thing i can imagine is that dazai, again, dragged him away from his friends, into the mafia, and then leaves him there alone. chuuya's loyal to a fault and can't stand betrayal so i'm sure he's pissed. but dazai also says at some point (not to him ofc) that he regrets not bringing chuuya w him when he left the mafia. sigh. so i think it's just mostly silly bickering.

on a Deeper sense i have some Thoughts abt. ugh. i sort of briefly mentioned that chuuya has some issues w feeling human, and dazai has some issues w his ability (no longer human) and like. besides the trust. this is becoming my favorite thing abt them. at their Core they have the same Thing they just go abt it in the opposite way. neither of them feels like a real human being. chuuya has this very artificial power inside of him so strong that it has a will of its own and dazai has a power that deletes if momentarily other powers. they're both a fuckin. affront to nature in their own ways. and when dazai doesn't feel human he just responds w apathy and like whatever ok i'm not then i wanna die and get it over with what's the point. but when CHUUYA doesn't feel human he's fuckin upset abt it and he wants to idk fight to be human anyway and prove himself wrong. and i feel like. they meet and chuuya sees this perfectly human boy who doesn't appreciate having what he's always struggling for. and dazai sees someone who's justified in feeling separated from humanity and yet he wants to force himself into it ? like man i WISH i had an excuse for feeling like this. and chuuya's like man i wish i hadn't had anything done to me that makes me feel like this. and so they're like,,, so fundamentally mad at each other but then they're also the only other bitch they know w this specific problem so even if they go abt it so differently there's comfort there too that they can't get anywhere else like. they are functionally stuck together bc who else is ever gonna Get It. and chuuya always wants proof that he's just as human as anyone else but then dazai !! he knows perfectly well !!! that chuuya IS like def more human than he'll ever be at the very least bc he knows !! better than chuuya ever will !! what it's actually like to be separated from humanity !! and dazai sees all this passion and energy into this little guy and like how could you ever doubt how could you ever wonder. what else would all this come from if you're not human. i don't even have an ounce of this and technically i Am human so what. dazai takes HIMSELF out of humanity chuuya was TAKEN out of it. and then their power. the fact that dazai's powers that he doesn't even like actively take away what makes chuuya feel less human ?!! there is some kind of mutual aid going on. dazai's ability CAN'T be that bad if it's at least fixing chuuya and it's in fact the ONLY thing that can save chuuya's life. and the irony of it being called no longer human when it does the opposite for chuuya. they're the only thing that sort of justifies themselves to Themselves. the place where the inherent anger for each other comes from is also where the inherent trust comes from. so even if they piss each other off and even if they'd never admit to any positive feelings like they'd do for their other friends they're just. tied. red string or whatever. i think the reason why they Keep finding their way to each other even when they work for enemy factions is Well They Have No Choice for better or worse they'll always be stuck together ! for worse probably. i don't think they're thrilled by that. but no one else is ever gonna Get Me like this bitch !!! so we're sticking together. can you believe i'm chuuya nakahara and the only time i can use the full extent of my powers is when This Guy is around. i can never be 100% myself w anyone else. and can you believe i'm osamu dazai and the only time that i feel like my powers aren't an offense to nature itself is when i use them to keep This Guy from blowing up. so my Burden isn't that bad it's actually Good sometimes. probably just for him but that will do. they're like i can never use all of my powers/i can never use my powers in a way that makes me feel ok except when he's involved. no they're fucking insane tbh it's fascinating.

dazai SAYS MULTIPLE TIMES that he thinks abt chuuya every moment of every day (specifically on how to piss him off but Still) (it's their love language) dazai stopped wishing he could die when he was 15 bc he met chuuya and he was the only exciting surprising thing that he'd seen so far and he wanted to stay alive to figure him out. chuuya keeps using corruption over and over and he puts his life in dazai's hands over and over and he never misses. dazai's the only one who's immune to chuuya - his stupidly strong powers sure but also his stupidly strong physical combat skills bc he knows him well enough to dodge. chuuya's the only one who can understand where dazai's going w his plans and meet him there. dazai calls him slug and chuuya calls him mackerel. once someone close to chuuya saw them stand side by side and said they were surprisingly perfect together. you know. so on so forth. do you Get It

also they're like in love and fucking i guess but that's collateral. i'm not gonna pretend to be strictly intellectual abt them. yas we ship them in a silly sexy way. but also they're incredibly fascinating just the way they are in the text. yk what i mean ?

here look at them as a treat. manga collage in chronological order anime reunion and official art for the movy. what on earth i say

#ask #pls lmk if u see this i'd hate to like. leave u hanging. i'm so sorry i like them so much that i overwhelmed myself at the chance to #fuckin talk abt them sjdkskcksf #i busted out Google Docs for this. it's LONG. i'm insane. sorry

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