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#for advice? i guess i can no longer see the point in complaining and never doing anything about it
foxcassius · 2 years
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i've been really determined to be positive about this job and i think it is paying off, i am getting things done (even if i have to stay late) and i still feel happy and ready to go to work every day and no single class or single hour of the day feels heavy or unbearable. but i feel like katie is not being positive and is taking some stuff too personally and being too like aggressive from the get-go about some things and whenever she complains idk what to say bc i really refuse to commiserate bc that will start to make me miserable but i also dont want to tell her "take it up with management and do something about it or stop complaining" bc that sounds mean but genuinely. most things she just needs to talk to the respective management about bc its not going to get fixed if she complains to me yknow.
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eggcats · 6 months
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Radiodust/Radiohuskerdust fic where Alastor has the ability to know and remember ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that's been played on any radio in hell, since he's arrived
(He also has the ability to control what people listen to, but forcing people to listen to his radio show is uncouth and Vox levels of desperation, so he doesn't. However, he DOES prevent anyone else from using his airwaves during his scheduled showtime, because it's rude otherwise.)
Angel discovers this one day when he's lamenting about some song being stuck in his head that he heard on the radio, like 2 weeks ago, and after he hums part of the melody Alastor just starts playing it for him. And Angel is like "?????? what???" While Alastor is just like "My dear, I know everything that broadcasts over my airwaves, this is child's play."
Angel is suspicious, his entire mood is
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And so, a game begins where Angel will hear a song he's POSITIVE Alastor would have never listened to, and then he quizzes Alastor later to see if he can still guess the song. So far, Alastor has never not played the correct song Angel is thinking about. (Angel could always lie, but that's outside the spirit of the game, so he never does.)
Eventually it develops into Alastor immediately guessing which song Angel will ask him about, leading to confusing most other members of the hotel when as SOON as Angel walks into a room Alastor is in, he will play some music and Angel will yell "goDAMMIT SMILES GIVE ME A FUCKIN' SECOND FIRST!"
The only time Alastor starts getting the songs wrong is when Angel, seemingly out of the blue, starts only listening to love songs. He's unsure what changed, but it seems like Angel is determined to only make Alastor play love songs for him now.
Therefore, Alastor becomes convinced that Angel is trying to figure out how to confess to Husk his feelings. And despite not being good with those feelings himself, he offers to assist in his endeavor since he's known Husker for a great deal of time. (If the idea makes Alastor kind of uncomfortable and sick, it's simply because soft emotions do so, and NOTHING about Angel no longer giving him any attention. Clearly.)
(You can choose your own adventure, but I like to go with the radiohuskerdust angle personally.)
So, with the radiohuskerdust angle, it's funnier if, by this point, Angel and Husk are already dating. And so now Angel has to deal with the guy he likes trying to set him up with his boyfriend. Husk is absolutely no help, he finds it hilarious. (This is all the more exasperated by Alastor seeing Angel complain to Husk about this situation, and try to ask for advice on how to tell Alastor that the love songs are for HIM, and Alastor assuming his advice is working.)
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nomoreusername · 7 months
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A Few More Seconds (Part 2)
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Pairing:Aris x female reader
Summary:When mistakes are cleared up confession are made.
Requested by @just--a--random--human--being
I wish I knew what was happening with him, but he wouldn't really talk to me. While it's true that he never did seem to stay long and would sometimes trip over his words in the most adorable way, he just wouldn't say a word now. He wouldn't say hi when we passed by each other or converse with me by the gardens. He wouldn't even look at me. He used to sometimes stare at me and look away when I smiled, but he currently refused to make any sort of eye contact. The longer this went on the more I was convinced that I did something to upset him. I did everything to find out what, but whenever I was less than three feet from him he was off. If by chance I did get the opportunity to speak he nodded his head as he did before giving a one word response and an excuse to just run off.
Staring at him from across the fire, I kept hoping he would turn his head just a little bit. Still, whatever he was speaking to Harriet about must be incredible because he was talking at a thousand miles a minute, though I couldn't hear what he was saying.
As I was completely immersed in him I felt someone drape something over my shoulders. Looking over, I saw my little brother making a show of being a gentleman. He kept trying to get this girl to notice his “pure soul” but wouldn't talk to her. Not in the way I hadn't really talked to Aris. He wouldn't even find an excuse to say hi.
“You’re a little special, aren't you?”I sighed.
“She’s not even looking,”He groaned, ignoring my statement as he sat beside me.
“You have to show that you want her. The more you show off how good you could be the more it looks like you don't like her,”I pointed out.
“But it's obvious,”He complained.
“It's obvious to you. People see different things as different signs so the best thing you can do is be upfront,”I advised.
“I can't,”He mumbled, putting his hands on his knees.
“You can do whatever you put your mind to. I think you should go for it before you never can,”I recommended.
“The way you go for Aris?”
“That's different,”I defended.
“How?”
“It just is, okay? I don't have to explain myself to you.”
“Explain yourself to him.”
“See? This is exactly why I don't give you advice,”I sighed, looking over at Aris only to see that he had left. Handing his jacket back without actually looking at him, I stood up and made my way past people. Mumbling a few, “excuse me’s,” I was past everyone before they could even blink. Going to Harriet by the very edge of the group, I asked her where Aris was.
“It's probably not a good idea to tell you,”She shrugged.
“I just need a minute. It’ll be quick,”I promised.
“It's still not a good idea,”She repeated.
“Please? I really need to talk to him,”I pleaded.
She sighed as she thought it over. Still, I refused to leave until she said something, anything.
“He's by the ocean,”She finally answered.
“Thank you, Harriet. I’ll see you tomorrow,”I told her, already making my way there. Moving through the darkness, I got further from the blazing fire and closer to the chilly sea. Stepping onto the sand, when it tried to sink I threw my sandals off before looking left and right. Then, I stared at my feet to see footprints going to the right so I guess that’s where I’m going.
Speed walking, I kept switching between looking at the ground and ahead of me. All I ever got was more footsteps and more darkness. I couldn't give up though. I don't know why I chose tonight, but it was the right one. I just know it.
Walking faster, as I glanced up again to see a figure staring at the sea I knew that I was correct to trust my instincts.
“Aris?”I asked, approaching him. He turned his head but just as he met my gaze tried to leave. Before he had the chance I grabbed his sleeve.
“Aris? Did I do something?”I finally asked, not letting go. He just stared at the ground before shaking his head. “Then, why won't you talk to me?”
“I can't,”He mumbled.
“I’ve been trying to though. I want to talk to you,”I pleaded, holding on tighter.
“I’m sorry, Y/N,”He whispered.
“Please, Aris. I miss you,”I begged.
“I can't be around you. Not now.”
“Tell me what I did,”I repeated.
“You didn't do anything wrong. That's the problem.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I can't be around you right now. Not for a while. Now until . . .”He trailed off.
“Not until what?”I asked, stepping closer.
“Not until I know how to get over you.”
“Over me? As in romantically?”I hoped.
“Yeah. Romantically,”He confirmed.
Now I didn't know what to think. He feels what I feel, but why doesn't he want to? Am I that awful? Is there something else that I’m not getting?
“Why do you need to get over me?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why do you need to get over me?”I asked again.
“Because you're with someone, and that someone isn't me?”
“I am?”
“Yeah.”
“Who am I with?”
“That guy that always gives his hoodie.”
“People think I’m dating him?”I asked after processing his words.
“I mean not really, but I do,”He mumbled.
“I don't know whether to cry, laugh, or throw up,”I said half to him and half to myself.
“Are you not?”He asked slowly.
“No. I am not dating my brother.”
“Your brother?”
“Yeah. That's my brother,”I repeated.
“Oh,”He mumbled. “Now I feel kind of stupid,”He admitted.
“I don't think you're any kind of stupid. Maybe you're not the best at seeing signs when people like each other, but you're definitely not stupid,”I shrugged.
“I just thought since you always had his hoodie that you were, you know?”He defended.
“That's his lame attempt at trying to get the girl he likes to notice him. So far, it's not going that well,”I explained.
“So you aren't with anyone then?”
“Not unless someone wants to tell me something,”I said, grabbing his hand.
“I do,”He muttered, his face turning red as he looked at me. “I like you. I really like you, probably more than I should. I think about you more than I should too, even if you're nowhere near me. I like that you're kind, I like that you're smart, I like that you're funny, I like that you're accepting, I like that you know how to make people feel better without trying, I like how easy you are to talk to once you figure out how to get the words out, and I like the way you look in the moonlight.”
“That's really sweet, Aris. You're really sweet,”I whispered, as close to him as possible.
“I am?”
“Yes. You are,”I nodded. “That's one of the reasons that I really like you,”I admitted.
“You do?”
“I do. I have for a while now. I just never knew how to tell you, but when you stopped talking to me I knew I had to be able to. I knew I had to figure everything out before I couldn't.”
“Have you?”
I didn't answer as I put my arms around his shoulders. Standing on my toes, I pressed my lips to his cheek before pulling away.
“Yeah. I have.”
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bogunicorn · 2 years
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also, okay, one more thing about people in fandom actively disliking the thing they're a fan of.
i do think some people genuinely enjoy being kind of a hater. like, i think we're all better off in this conversation if we acknowledge that some people just like that. being angry, being offended, being put-upon, feeling like you and your friends are the only people who see The Truth, all that shit releases hella dopamine, especially in relatively low stakes situations like fandom.
and i think that's okay in moderation! i love a good fix-it or rewrite of canon or canon-divergent OC, but those tend to only work when the person writing them genuinely loves the original thing in some capacity. fix-its and rewrites are like parodies: without love involved, they're just mean and shitty.
the problem with getting your emotional fix from complaining is that it doesn't last. i forget if i've said it on tumblr or just in DMs, but it's like junk food. oreos fucking slap, but it most of your diet is oreos, you're not going to stay full for long and eventually you'll get the shits. genuine positive enjoyment is a healthy meal full of protein and vitamins and shit; doing things you love keeps you happier and fuller for longer. and all sorts of food is good for all sorts of situations. sometimes you want to sit around and just rewatch your favorite parts of a show. sometimes you want to shovel oreos into your face and bitch about how Actor X is a hack who never should've been hired, or a dialogue chain in a video game is fucking stupid and you're stunned it got past the editors.
the point is balance. and i will say the most important thing i learned in my 20s (in fandom, not in general) is that hobbies shouldn't hurt. if i catch myself bitching and gossiping more often than enjoying myself, it's time to quit. if seeing a specific fandom i used to love on my dashboard stresses me out, i block it. fandom is a hobby. it's supposed to be fun. if it starts giving me the metaphorical shits, it's time to go eat somewhere else until i can be responsible with myself again.
learning to pull up stakes and just fucking leave is a hard skill to learn, especially, i think, for autistic and adhd people. it's hard for us to find media that really scratches the itch, so to speak, and it makes it really difficult to leave things behind even when they're not scratching so great anymore. like, it would take a lot for me to leave DA fandom permanently; it's been my special interest for, like, 12 years or whatever. but if it made me miserable, i'd ditch it. hell, i did basically peace out for a bit a few months ago until i felt comfortable again, and i'm better off for it.
you can't stop other people from being A Hater 90% of the time. if that's what they've decided to do, that's what they're doing. so i guess my advice for that (such that it is) is to just curate your experience. and if you feel yourself getting anxious a lot, or feeling angry or guilty or obligated to have specific Takes when you log into your fandom spaces, step back and check in with yourself. fandom isn't supposed to make you feel that way, and the people who think it's the norm or try to make it the norm are dealing with shit that's just... not your problem.
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atsumiye · 3 years
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um, wrong number?
summary: on a night out, atsumu manages to get his next flings number. written on a flimsy napkin, they scribble a cute “call me” and their number. however, the next morning atsumu realizes the last few digits are smudged. with his superb guessing skills, he manages to guess the last 3 digits….or what he thinks is the 3 digits. so what happens when atsumu texts y/n some raunchy messages? he gets called a pervert.
masterlist ll seven ll eight ll nine
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“Eichi, keep an eye out. This place is packed and I don't want to be here longer than I have to.” Akiko says as she pulls out a compact mirror to check her makeup and hair. She pulls out her lipstick and glides it across her lips and smacks her lips together. Brushing her fingers through her hair to fix any stray strands, she slams the mirror shut before placing it back in her purse.
“I'm not leaving without his number.” She says as she turns her head to look at Eichi.
Eichi gives her a small nod as she stretches her neck to look above the large crowd and around the neutral colored restaurant, before she spots a flash of bright blonde.
“I think I see him, he's towards the back with a group of guys.” She points her finger in the direction as Akiko starts to walk to the back.
She plasters a large grin on her face before she giggles out an, “Atsumu!”. The players he's speaking to look at her before turning back to Atsumu. She places her hand on his shoulder and tilts her head to meet his eyes.
“Hello…” he mumbles to her while looking back to his teammates with a questioning look.
“How have you been, baby? You never texted me so I sent you a dm but you never responded.” She bats her eyelashes at him as she looks at his confused expression.
After a few beats of silence, Atsumu's eyes widen, “Oh yer Akizo, right?”
She huffs before fake laughing, “Close, Akiko.”
“But you do remember me after all? What happened to sending me a message?”
“Ah sorry, had some….issues with the number. It was good to see ya again I guess” rubbing the back of his neck, he nods his head before he turns back towards his team members. All his team members look between the two, angry that Atsumu might be causing more problems. He remembers how his PR team begged him to not cause anymore drama- that he argued he doesn't purposely start- before the start of the new season, so he chooses to ignore the girl hanging onto him.
And he can't ignore the way his heart feels a bit weird as his mystery girl pops into his head.
Akiko huffs and she clings to his arm and brings a hand to rest on his chest, noticing the way a few people begin to pull out their phones and whisper to each other. She leans into his ear as she whispers, “Your causing a scene baby, let's exchange numbers again hm? This time, you give me your number”, she pauses dropping the smile on her face slightly, “and I'll send you a text.”
He looks down at her before placing his hand out to grab her phone and type his number in. She grabs the phone back and says “Let me just make sure it's right” she types a quick message and hearing his phone ding, sighs in satisfaction. “Make sure to answer when I text.” She flashes him a small smile and walks away towards the exit, Eichi quickly bows her head towards the table as she walks after Akiko.
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“Oh yer Akizo, right?” You turn your head towards Atsumu's loud voice noticing a pretty girl start to cling to him. You tsk and look back towards the plate Osamu hands you.
Before you take it, Osamu looks down at you and says “It's been three weeks since he texted you right?” You nod as he continues, “You know, there hasn't been a single day where he hasn't talked about you. Don't be jealous.”
You gasp and give him a disgusted look, “I'm not jealous! He doesn't even know my name, I just think she's a bit...weird. And I thought that the name sounded familiar to the girl he was originally supposed to text. That's all.” You snatch the plate from his hand as he begins to smile. You roll your eyes as you walk to the table, “Jealous! That's ridiculous.” You shake your head before approaching the table.
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As the last customer walks out of the door, Osamu points to the door and tells you to turn the open sign to close. Flipping the sign and pulling down the blinds you loudly sign, “You know Osamu, you may regret hiring me but I regret accepting the job. My feet hurt.” You begin to pout before Meian comes behind you and flicks the back of your head, “Stop complaining.” You bring your hand to place it over where he flicked you and stick your tongue out at him.
“Osamu, let me know what you want me to help with.” Meian says as he begins to yawn.
“No, go home. Not only are you tired but if you stay here you'll use it against me or ask for some of my paycheck or something.” You smirk at him as he and Osamu begin to laugh. “She's right Meian, I can drive her home.” Osamu tells him as he begins to pull out a bucket of water to wipe down tables.
“Fine” he nods towards Osamu before turning towards you, “Text me that you got home safe okay?” he pulls you into a hug before ruffling your hair.
You brush down your hair and nod with a grin. “Drive safe okay?”, he smiles as he yells out a ‘goodnight’.
You turn back towards Osamu to grab a towel to start cleaning, “Y/N, after you are done with the tables, just wait here for a few minutes. Atsumu is bringing extra products from the other restaurant so he might come in.” You smile and nod as you begin to to wipe everything down and Osamu walks into his office to close the registers for the night.
Twenty minutes later, the door opens revealing an annoyed Atsumu.
“Samu! The traffic was horrible, I'm never helpin' ya again!” he yells and you begin to laugh. He turns his head to you, “Yer Y/N, right? The new girl he hired.” You nod and you can't help the smile that grows on your face at the mere fact he has no idea, “Yeah I am, it's nice to meet you Atsumu.”
“Same here.” he places the giant box on the floor behind the register as he comes back out and stares at you for a few seconds. “Yer a girl right?” you look down at yourself and meet his eyes to say “Sure?”
He drags a chair across the floor and places it in front of you, sitting backwards on the chair.
“I've got a question for ya.” You nod, allowing him to ask.
“So, how would I get a girl to tell me who she is?”
“Sorry? What does that even mean?” you furrow your eyebrows trying to decipher what he is trying to ask.
“Basically, I'm texting this girl. She knows who I am because we got mutual friends or somethin but I don't even know her name. We have spoken every day for almost four weeks and I know nothing about her.”
Osamu walks out of the office towards the two of you smiling to himself, “You forgot the best part, Tsumu. Ya sent her a nude as yer first message to her.” You and Osamu laugh as Atsumu drops his head in his hands.
“I've told ya and her that it was a mistake. Plus she moved on from it.”
You smile at him as you say, “Well, maybe she will come around. Just be respectful of the boundaries she has set up. You skipped quite a few steps by sending a nude the first time you spoke, so be understanding of that. Who knows, maybe soon she will want to tell you who she is.”
Osamu widens his eyes before smirking, “Why Tsum, ya got a crush on her?”
You feel your face heat up as Atsumu looks at the floor. “Shut up, Samu!”
Osamu smiles looking at your reactions before he says, “Alright lets get ya home Y/N. Meian will kill me if I get ya home too late.”
You both begin to stand up as Atsumu says, “Thanks for the advice.”
“Anytime. I hope it works out for you guys.” You smile at him as you all walk out of the restaurant.
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chapter eight- don't be jealous
riya's notes:
- i wholeheartedly believe that osamu doesn't talk with his kansai dialect until he gets around atsumu
- akiko did a lot of research into atsumu in the past few weeks, so she knew he probably wouldn't want a ton of people looking at him or to cause a scene
- y/n doesn't know if she likes atsumu, what she does know is that she cares about him a lot
- atsumu is currently planning ways to win his mystery girl over
- osamu knows his brother really well, he knows how he feels and he found it hilarious he was asking y/n how to talk to y/n....
- y/n texted meian right as she got home but he was already asleep
- pls let me know your thoughts <3333
taglist: @satorinnie @speakfrenchbetweenmythighs @tetsuhoes @namyari @tabipleats @yamstadashi @lilith412426 @haikyuuwifu @bakugouswh0r3 @royahllty @its-the-aerieljeane @schleepyflocci @riceballsandanime @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa @zukoslosthishonor @blueowl51 @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @windkages @unstaaableaf @sakusasimpbot @tsukkinginamo @starylust @crocigator @a-disappointing-teen-author @ysatrap @fuschiguro @sugabeaniee @art-junkie-13
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browniefox · 2 years
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Hey hello, if by any chance do you have advice for someone writing fics for the first time in their life?
I have an overall idea of how the story would go, but find it hard to tie everything. I also fear some things will sound repetitive.
Thanks for reading.
Hm, let's see. It's admittedly been a while since I've been new to this, but I do have some suggestions!
Writing
I'm not saying anything new, but writing is like a muscle, and you only get better by doing it. Reading is useful, but writing takes time and gdsgaldfdk no gonna lie, it's hard. A good bit of advice is write down what you want in the story - I know that sounds like baby's first piece of advice, but I forget to write things down and then it gets all jumbled and then I forget things. So please, write down your ideas as like bullet points, and then order them if you can.
What do you mean by repetitive? Like the story itself is repetitive, or other people are doing similar fics? If the story itself is a repetitive structure, peer feedback is always good, ask somebody what they think can and can't be cut (and that's no a personal slight against you, remember that). If the fic is like another kind, 1) nobody is complaining about two cakes at a party. 2) Give it something that'll make it unique. Throw in another character, a different destination, a spin.
I usually write chapter-by-chapter and post when one is done. There's no requirement as far as chapter length, but for me personally 2k words is usually good, though if your chapter has a natural stopping point before then, that works too. Getting a beta reader is probably a good idea, though I personally have never used one or know how to get them or know how they work (I imagine it's like an editor/peer review?).
Writing should be fun and for you, first and foremost, especially when writing fics. If you stop having fun, it's okay to stop writing.
Posting
I recommend posting on AO3, but that's like the only place I post so I guess I'm biased.
Tag your fic correctly. There's probably a million and a half opinions and guides to doing that, but here's what I can offer.
1) Good Title. Don't worry over it too much, though. Song lyrics, snappy word, just something that's eye catching.
2) Again, tag your fic correctly. Let people know what it's about. This isn't like picking up a book from the library, you're trying to let the reader know what you're about.
3) A good summary, and by that I mean tell the reader what they're getting into again. Be up front. Just a couple sentences is usually okay, though longer is also fine. More than anything, what I mean by this is don't say 'sorry i'm so bad at summaries!' You can go ahead and say something like 'first fic :D', but you should never degrade your work. Like, don't say 'this probably isn't good, it's my first fic'. If you can't believe in your fic, how can you expect readers to?
4) Don't worry over numbers. I know it's easy to, lord knows I have to remind myself of this, but numbers mean nothing. Commends, kudos, bookmarks, views, it's fine I promise. This is why your write for yourself.
Uh idk if any of that is helpful. If you need any more advice or clarification or anything, go ahead and ask
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
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Matured
Corpse Husband & Little Sister Reader (Female)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: Sibling Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Corpse’s search for a roommate ends shortly after his little sister calls him, telling him she’s moving out of her high school dorm in the suburbs following her graduation to attend college in San Francisco.
Requested by @bugger2002  Hi darling! Thank you so much for this adorable request, I had such a fun time turning it into a fic! Sorry it has taken me so long to complete it but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤
Alright, it’s been a month since Y/N announced she’d be moving in with me - no, she didn’t ask if she could nor if I’d want her to, she straight up casually informed me she’d be moving in with me since she’s starting college. I’m lucky she even thought to tell me, knowing her it wouldn’t have been so strange for her to just show up on my doorstep with a grin like “Alright, I live here now.” Having a six years younger sister who can act both younger and older than me - sometimes both at the same time - is a bit complex. Obviously, my protective and nurturing brotherly instinct kicks in whenever she complains to me about something, but seconds later she tells me she’s taken care of it already and I feel like a fool for overreacting even if it was only internal. She’s calm and rational when she needs to be and a reckless airhead whose only goal is to have fun when she wants to be.
And judging by her and her friends’ main methods of obtaining said fun I can see how much alike we are: playing drunk video games, drunk darts, drunk pool. You see, there’s a lot of drinking involved and that’s something I’m greatly unhappy with and have scolded her on countless times just to get a fake promise, probably with fingers crossed behind her back - that she’ll cut down the alcohol. Not to mention she’s not even old enough to drink so I’ve been very insistent on her cutting her bad habit. She’s tried calling me hypocritical at times but she can’t do so rightfully since I’m, you know, of drinking age. So she’s basically bound by law to follow my advice and orders.
At least now that she’ll be staying with me I’ll be able to keep a better eye on her. A rascal high school student will either mature-up in college or go even more downhill. I aim to make her fall in the first category, but I’m making no promises - she’s very unruly, just like me. Damn, never did I think my own traits would come hitting me in the back of the head like a boomerang but here we are.
Regardless of all the crap I’ve just spewed about her, she’s a wonderful girl. She’s always been my pillar of support and never gets tired of it. She never misses a call of mine and has never not replied to a message of mine, no matter how drunk she’s been. She’s never skipped a Saturday night Skype call, no matter how busy she’s been. She’s never let herself forget she has a brother who often times needs her by his side.
Once she even talked one of her friends who has a car and a driver’s license drive her all the way to my apartment complex when I was having a really bad anxiety attack and legit couldn’t talk on the phone. She went door to door to find which apartment I live in and stayed with me the whole weekend she was supposed to spend at a music festival or something. It’s not wonder she’ll be a med student - she’s always wanted to be a nurse and has practically been my personal nurse since she was twelve. She maybe wasn’t always physically present to help me, but she’s a great instruction giver for when I need her and she’s unable to come to my aid.
Well now, we’ll both be there to aid one another.
“BEEP BEEP FUCKER!“
I nearly flip off my chair at the distinct yelling coming from directly below my window. I’d recognize that voice anywhere, and it’d always bring a smile to my face without fail.
I rush to get up from my desk chair and open the window but when I do so, she’s no longer on the sidewalk. There’s only a car I recognize to be the one of the friend that drove her here during that nightmarish episode I explained earlier.
Before I can ever back away from the window, I hear my front door swing open and a yell echo from down the hall, “Corpse! How many times do I need to tell you to lock your door, damn it!���
“The same amount of times I’ve had to tell you to cut down on the al- WHOA!“ She doesn’t let me finish the sentence and jumps me the second I step out in the hallway.
“Missed you, stupid!“ She says, her legs wrapped around my waist as she ruffles my hair, “I’ll trim your hair later. Why have you let it get so long?“ She questions, furrowing her brows at me while running both her hands through my mess of a hair - she has a point, I’ve let it get out of control. While doing so, she seems to get an idea all of a sudden so she quickly climbs down, reminding me of the huge height difference we have now that her feet are on the floor. “I know you two have met before, but I think you need to re-meet...“ she says, turning to look at her friend who’s smiling timidly at her. She sends the flustered girl a wink before turning back to look at me, “Corpse, I’d like you to meet Abbey, my girlfriend“ she says proudly, skipping over to the blue haired girl and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Y/N pushes up on her tiptoes and places a kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek. It’s adorable to see her shorter than yet another person she clearly adores to annoy.
I smile at the two girls, holding back a chuckle as to not embarrass Abbey more, “Well then, nice to meet you Abbey. You should know you are one strong soul to be putting up with all that.“ I purposely don’t look at Y/N as I motion towards her, earning me a pissed off “Hey!“ as a response to my remark, “Stick around for dinner, don’t worry neither of us will be cooking.“ I point at myself and then at Y/N as if to reassure her she won’t be a victim of food poisoning.
“Actually...“ Abbey says, tilting her head to look my shortie sister in the eyes as if taunting her to say something.
She finally caves, raising her left hand as though she’s volunteering, “Ugh fine, I may or may not have taken a cooking course and may or may not know how to cook a decent meal. It’s whatever, really.”
To say I’m impressed would be an understatement. I’m impressed, shocked, surprised and flooded with joy that my sister has finally decided to start maturing. “Cooking course, huh? When did you decide living off of takeout isn’t a nice way to live?”
She rolls her eyes at me, “Oh no I still go full weeks with only takeout and cereal, I just needed a distraction because...well...” she trails off, her gaze dropping awkwardly as she fishes for words or perhaps already has them found but doesn’t want to spit them out.
Abbey huffs, taking Y/N’s hand and lifting it to show off her wrist where I catch sight of a batch of colorful handmade bracelets, “Because these aren’t gonna earn themselves.”
I raise an eyebrow, puzzled as to what exactly she’s referring to.
Y/N sighs, taking one of the bracelets, playing with it nervously, “I have one for every month I’ve spent without getting drunk - Abbey made them for me. I need a distraction to stay sober so...I took up cooking.“
I can’t remember a moment I haven’t felt proud of my sister. Y/N’s always been on top of her shit, drunk or sober she knows what she’s doing. She’s mindful even when she’s reckless, thinks soberly even when she’s been drinking heavily. She’s always proved herself to me and to the people who think of her as a lowlife without even trying. She lets the world breeze by her without thinking too much of it and yet she still mesmerizes me and many of the people she meets - Abbey has now officially joined the club.
But, all things said and considered, I think I’ve never felt as proud of her as I do right now, seeing those six bracelets on her wrist - half a year without getting drunk. I know she wouldn’t lie to Abbey, she rarely lies to me too, so those bracelets have been earned and well-deserved and that makes me feel like the Y/N I remember is not the one standing in front of me right now. That silly girl is still in the suburbs, making a shitty-ass choice of messing up her liver. A grown woman, a responsible adult has taken her place though, and I couldn’t be more glad.
“Y/N...“ I finally manage to utter her name, making her gaze meet mine, “I’m so fucking proud of you.“
A smile slowly stretches the corners of her mouth upwards, her eyes shning in a way that has nothing to do with the lighting in this hallway. She’s not a crier though, I know those tears are gonna stay right there, stubbornly refusing to escape her eyes, “Thanks, Corpse. I’m proud of you too....” she says, nodding her head slowly, “I can overlook the untrimmed hair.”
Sigh
Y/N will always be Y/N no matter what I guess. That’s a good thing - I love her just the way she is.
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naughtyneganjdm · 3 years
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Just Not My Type
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Summary: Negan and Y/N are best friends after he saved her when the Apocalypse first started. In their group, Negan is charmed by another woman and it leaves Y/N jealous because she is head over heels in love with Negan. Attempting to get his attention on her, she asks him to help her with something in hopes to get him to realize that he may like her more than he thought.
Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Simon, Dwight, etc. 
Warnings: Swearing, smut, angst, arguing, Negan being an asshole, etc. 
Notes: Pre-warning, Negan is a bit of an asshole and is kind of cruel in this one. This was a request given to me. I'm not sure if people just like me writing asshole Negan or what, but I hope the person who asked for this is happy with it! I wrote this rather quickly. I hope it's at least okay!
“I don’t get it,” Negan grumbled beside Y/N while they walked through the wholesale store together. The rest of the group went off in separate areas of the store to look for supplies and they were supposed to be doing the same. There was a frustrated expression over Negan’s face and she felt a sense of disappointment. When the world fell to shit, Y/N pretty much gave up. It got to the point where she had no one in her life. A few months ago, she had found herself cornered by a group of savages and felt like it was the end of the world as she knew it. Somehow, Negan was passing by while in search of people and heard her getting attacked. He saved her. Just in time too. Since then she hadn’t left Negan’s side. They managed to find Dwight’s group together while lingering and looking for others. They had become somewhat of best friends since they found each other. The only problem was Y/N was head over heels in love with Negan. Unfortunately, Negan didn’t feel the same way. Instead, he seemed to be heavily enamored with Dwight’s wife Sherry. “What does she even see in Dwight? That scruffy looking motherfucker.”
“He’s the leader Negan,” she reminded him with a sigh knowing that his complaining was coming from his jealousy. “A lot of girls are into that kind of thing.”
“Yeah, but look at him and look at me,” Negan reasoned, throwing his hands up in the air while he clutched to the shotgun that was in his hands. “I’m fucking hot. He’s a scrawny little shit.”
“I don’t think she can help who she was married to before all this happened Negan. You’re right though, you’re better. All around,” Y/N agreed with him. She meant it. Obviously. She was in complete awe of the guy. One day she was hoping that he would just open his eyes and realize she was standing right there next to him for him to love. Many times in the past Negan had cracked jokes about her being hot so she thought maybe at some point she would have a chance with him. The longer she waited, the less likely it actually seemed. Maybe she wasn’t giving him the signs that she was interested. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something and since you’re a guy, I figured maybe you would have some advice.”
“Yeah?” Negan grunted, his head lowering enough to look between the shelves while he watched Dwight and Sherry together. “What’s on your mind?”
“Well, you see…there is this guy that I like,” Y/N explained with a sigh, clutching her rifle in her fingers. Her cheeks flushed over with red when Negan finally turned his head to look at her. The way his thick eyebrows bounced up showed that he was interested in what she was saying. “I’ve liked him for a while, but no matter how much I try I just can’t seem to get his attention.”
“Why not? You’re hot. Just tell him you’re interested,” Negan suggested and she looked away from him. Clearly that wasn’t in the playing cards and she would never have the guts to do something like that. “Who is it? Is it Simon?”
“Negan,” her face scrunched up when he suggested Simon who was someone they had just picked up in the group with Dwight. An amused breath fell from her throat and Negan threw his hands up in the air. “It’s not Simon. I’m not going to tell you who it is, but…I don’t think I could tell him that I’m interested in him. He has his eye on someone else.”
“Trust me, if you tell a guy now of all times that you are interested in him, he’s going to jump at the opportunity to get his dick sucked, I promise you that,” Negan grumbled and he could see that her face flushed over making him laugh. “What’s with the blushing? Sucking a dick isn’t such a big deal.”
“Well, there is one thing…” she took in a long shallow breath making Negan’s eyebrow arch up. God, she felt pathetic admitting this to him, but she couldn’t help it. “I kind of haven’t had sex before.”
“Come on,” Negan chuckled, taking a long look at her and he shook his head. The way he laughed made her embarrassed and he nudged her with his arm. The snort he released made her feel even worse about telling him. “How old are you?”
“Okay, forget it,” she rolled her eyes and went to move forward, but Negan quickly followed her not far behind. “Just pretend I didn’t say anything.”
“I’m not making fun of you, but you’re hot and most people lose their virginities too fucking young now so I just kind of figured you’re fucking with me,” Negan insisted, biting at his bottom lip as he spoke. Y/N still didn’t seem interested in talking to him and he let out a dramatic sound. “Okay, come on. You’ve done oral though, right?”
“Something tells me that I don’t want to be talking to you about this,” she replied feeling her throat tightening while Negan looked her over with amusement. “Seriously, I’m not the seductive type that can make a man want me.”
“Well that’s bullshit because you’re fucking beautiful and any man would be lucky to have you,” Negan corrected her reaching for something from the shelves. A grunt fell from his throat as he tossed it aside and let out a loud sigh. God, if only he actually meant that. “Just tell him you’re a virgin. He’ll want you immediately.”
“Virgins aren’t a lot of people’s things Negan,” she reminded him and Negan’s nose wrinkled when she said that.
“That’s bullshit. Every man loves the idea of taking someone’s innocence and purity away. They all like that shit,” Negan reached up to brush his fingers through his dark hair with his free hand. “You might not be the best fuck he’s ever had, but the idea of popping your cherry will turn him on and he’ll want to fuck you immediately.”
“I don’t really want to be a virgin when I go to him,” she whispered and Negan’s eyebrows tensed together as he looked her over with his big, hazel eyes. “I guess I kind of want to know what I’m doing with him by the time I tell him that I like him.”
“And how do you plan on losing that virginity of yours sweetheart? Slim pickings you know,” Negan snorted, the bridge of his nose wrinkling when he spoke. “Unless, I’m sure we can find you a good cucumber around here where you can…”
“Oh shut up,” she begged hearing his laughter filling the air at her reaction. Hitting him firmly in the chest, she walked off toward the back of the store and he quickly followed after her. Entering the area where they had more shelves in the back for storage, she surveyed through the items and sighed. “We should get people back here and have them get some of this. This is good stuff.”
“I’m not making fun of you. Okay? It’s just the way I talk,” Negan reached for her after setting his shotgun down and aside. “No one is going to turn you away for being a virgin. I promise you that and like I said, if you went to the guy and told him how you felt I guarantee that no matter who he had his eye on, he would change his mind quickly because you’re a catch Y/N. Trust me.”
“I wish that were true,” she felt him reaching up to cup her face and so badly she wished that Negan would have wanted her. That he would have wanted to be with her. “Since you’re my best friend you should do me the favor of helping me with the virginity problem.”
“Oh, you don’t want me to do that,” Negan snorted, stepping back and away from her. What started off as a joke actually ended up hurting her feeling unintentionally when Negan denied her. “First of all, we’re friends. That makes that shit weird. Second, I have a huge cock. I’m the last person you want to have sex with as a virgin.”
“I don’t think it’s that big,” she laughed and Negan let out a frustrated sound.
“When have you seen my penis?” Negan scoffed and she looked down toward his groin making him turn away from her when she did. “You have no idea how big my dick is. I’ve been a gentleman and I’ve never pulled it out in front of you.”
“I’m just saying, I can’t picture it being so big to the point that it would destroy me forever,” she mocked what he had said and Negan frowned after she said that. “I just think if I lose my virginity I’d like to lose it to someone I feel comfortable with. Someone that I know and trust.”
“You trust me and you feel comfortable with me?” Negan repeated what she said and she nodded. Licking over his bottom lip, he looked around the area in the back that they were at realizing that they were still alone. “How do you want to lose your virginity?”
“How should someone lose their virginity?” she inquired, her eyebrow arching up in curiosity and Negan laughed.
“On a mattress, in a nice comfortable set of sheets with the perfect mood and setting,” Negan stammered, waving his hand around in the air while he spoke. “Unfortunately since we’re on the road and there are no mattresses for the most part, that’s kind of fucking impossible. No matter how you lose it, it’s never going to be what you deserve. The dead walking is going to make sure of that.”
“In another world maybe,” she responded with a sigh as Negan reached for her rifle and set it aside. “What are you doing?”
“We’ll see,” Negan pulled her into a corner beyond a shelf and he began unbuckling his pants making her eyes get wide. “Get on your knees.”
“What?” she laughed, tilting her head to the side while she looked him over.
“You’ve never given a blowjob before and I could use one, so I’ll help you learn that,” Negan answered, reaching for her hands, leading them toward his pants and she let out a nervous sound. “I haven’t had a release for a very long time. So if you want to learn something to get his attention, I can help you learn that.”
“Shouldn’t we kiss or something? Get the mood started?” she suggested and Negan grinned when she said it. Negan’s jaw flexed and she placed her hands over the center of his broad chest.
“The idea of getting my dick sucked already has the mood started,” Negan answered with a grunt, reaching for her palm to lead her to cup him in her hand through the denim of his jeans. “When you go to him, palm over his body with a sense of confidence. Caress over this area and rub. Wait until you feel him start to get hard and then squeeze at the length of his cock. How many men have you kissed?”
“A few?” her throat was dry while she brushed the length of her palm over Negan’s body. The way his eyes closed made her heart skip a beat before the pace of it began to pick up. A deep, raspy moan escaped Negan’s throat when she felt his body starting to harden against her touch.
“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” Negan dragged his tongue over his bottom lip and he reached out to draw his hand out over the side of her neck. His fingers hooked around the back of her neck to draw her in closer to him. The sound of her nervous breaths filled the air and Negan smirked. “Don’t be nervous. You trust me, remember?”
Before she could respond, Negan’s lips collided with hers causing her to fall in closer to him. The way he kissed her took her breath away and she eagerly kissed him back. With Negan stroking his thumb over her jawline, she found herself falling deeper into the kiss. A warmth pooled at her core and she was swooning, bad. Negan had no idea that he was the man she was in love with. This to her was like a dream come true. A breath hitched in her throat allowing a quick flick of Negan’s tongue over hers and she returned the gesture hearing him hum when she did it.
“You’ve got something going with the kissing,” he breathed against her lips, his eyes hooked on hers when he pulled back to stare at her. Leaning in, he dragged his tongue over her bottom lip hearing her whimper when he did it. Growling as Y/N squeezed at his body, Negan looked down between them and panted. “Take it out.”
“You sure?” she confirmed with him and Negan snorted.
“I’m not the innocent one here,” Negan responded with a grunt while she started to pull apart his belt. Negan leaned his left arm against the wall while watching her fingers fumbling to get the button apart. As her fingers dragged down the zipper, he closed his eyes tightly when her mouth pressed in over his jaw. The soft kisses she pressed over his jaw and toward his neck made him groan out loud. When she kissed at his earlobe and bit softly at it, it caused a shudder to fill his body. Keeping his right hand at the base of her throat, Negan stroked his thumb over the center of it and could see her lowering her head as she got his pants apart. Reaching down, she grabbed the waistband of his boxer briefs and pulled down to allow his semi-erect cock to spring free into the cool air. Immediately she reached out to wrap her palm around the shaft of his body, caressing up and down slowly. “You can be a bit rough with it. You won’t break it…”
Negan licked his lips lowering his hand that was around her neck to adjust the grip she had on his body while urging her to pump her hand over his body in a different way. Teasing his flesh over his body, Y/N could feel her body attempting to tremble, but she was doing her best to keep it together. Negan’s eyes were on her like a hawk while she touched him. When his cock was completely solid in her palm, she licked her lips and watched Negan’s nod down toward his body.
Lowering down to her knees, she felt a rush of panic filling her body. If she was awful at this, that would be what Negan remembered her for. This was very brave of her to do in the first place considering Negan was the man she was swooning over.
“It’s big, right?” Negan affirmed with her and she looked up at him with expressive eyebrows.
“With the way you were talking I was expecting a foot long,” she teased, a smile sneaking in over the corner of her lips and Negan rolled his eyes.
“That’s impossible and if it is possible, no one wants that,” Negan grunted reaching down to squeeze at the thick base of his cock. “I can say with confidence that I know I have a thick, above average sized uncut cock and I know for a fact that in your virgin pussy…it would still hurt.”
“I figure if you were good with it, it wouldn’t hurt much…right?” she confirmed watching his eyebrows arch up when she said that. Sitting up straighter on her knees, she went to lean forward, but Negan stopped her and reached out to slide his thumb in over her bottom lip.
“Take this into your mouth first,” Negan ordered, watching her lips part for him and he pushed his thumb between her lips. Softly, she sucked at his thumb before twisting her tongue around it making him hum in approval. “Good girl. Make sure to vary with your tongue, your mouth and hand. If you use all three, you’ll have the guy of your dreams buckling at the knees.”
“Yes sir,” she purred making Negan release a muted moan when she said it like she did. There was no doubt she was uncomfortable. She was on the spot and as Negan’s fingers sank into her hair, she knew it was now or never. Keeping a firm hold on his body, she took the tip of his cock into her mouth and heard him sigh heavily. It caused him to drop his head back and lick his lips. Dragging her tongue over the head of his cock felt so dirty, but she wanted to make an impression. Licking at his body, in long drawn out motions caused his grip on her hair to get tighter.
“Hollow your cheeks and drag your tongue against my cock when you pull back,” Negan grunted pushing her down his length only to allow her to pull her head back. Leading the motion a few times, Negan could tell that she understood what he wanted and attempted to repeat what he had showed her. “Very good sweetheart.”
Taking time to do what he asked of her, she could feel his hips pumping up toward her throat and she tried to focus on not gagging. Occasionally it would happen and she couldn’t stop it from being that way. When she took him as far in her throat as she could, Negan braced himself against the wall and whimpered.
“Fuck me,” he breathed out, his eyes hooking with hers and he smiled. “You’re really going all in, aren’t you?”
“I just want to make you happy,” she pulled her lips from his body with a wet sound and jerked her palm over his body that was covered in her own saliva. Kissing at the base of his cock, she kept her eyes hooked on his and shrugged. “I want to give you everything you want.”
There was something different in Negan’s face as he seemed to think about something. Going back to try to pleasure him, she gasped when she felt him tugging her back up to her feet. Licking her lips, she gave him a shocked expression and bit at her bottom lip, “Did I do something wrong?”
Quickly moving her, Negan turned her toward the shelves and reached for her hands to force them onto one of them. Shoving her pants down her legs, Negan stood behind her and pumped his hand over his length. Keeping his hand on her neck, he could hear her panicked breaths and he stepped forward. Dragging the tip of his cock through her wet folds, he heard her cry out as he did it.
“You’re fucking soaked,” Negan released himself and palmed in over her mound. She was shaking and Negan felt a chill run down his spine. Teasing his fingers over the length of her sex was his way of testing her. Circling his fingertips over her entrance, he waited until her breathing was uneven and then pressed his middle finger inside of her. The sound she made caused his cock to twitch with excitement. With how tight she was around his fingers, Negan found himself completely in awe with her. “You really are a virgin, huh?”
She didn’t have to say anything. It was obvious. Nodding, she tried to keep herself steady on her legs while Negan thrust his finger inside of her. When he added another finger, she found the sensation completely foreign and to be honest kind of uncomfortable. Clutching to the shelves, she bit down extremely hard on her bottom lip. Probably too hard.
When Negan’s fingers pulled from her body, it felt strange. The sound of Negan spitting was heard behind her and she looked over her shoulder to see Negan caressing over his length. Before she could respond, Negan was grabbing a hold of her hips, positioning her where he wanted her. Pressing his cock to her entrance, he kept an exceedingly tight grasp with his left hand on her hip while his right kept a hold of his erection.
Thrusting forward, the sound of her cry filled the air when he entered her and it was like music to his ears. The moan he let out the moment her tight body parted for him was loud enough for others to hear if they were near. Reaching around her, she pressed her hand in over Negan’s hips knowing that she wanted this, but this wasn’t exactly how she pictured losing her virginity to Negan. Taking a moment, Negan seemed to respect that she needed some time to get used to what he had put inside of her before he started to thrust his body into her time and time again.
“Fuck sweetheart,” Negan growled, lowering in closer to her so he could rest his jaw over her shoulder. Lifting his hands, he hooked his fingers with hers and heard the smacks of their skin filtering into the air while he fucked her from behind. Nuzzling his nose against the back of her neck, Negan grunted and found himself loving the firm grip her body had around his body. “You may just have the tightest pussy I’ve ever had.”
“Negan,” she cried out his name knowing that they weren’t being quiet. If someone were to come back there, it would be obvious what they were doing. The fullness she had with his cock inside of her was foreign and she was doing her best to enjoy it. It was more so the idea of who she was with that was drawing her to try and enjoy things. When he pressed his full length into her, she involuntarily reached back to push into his hip to try to get him back. “Too much.”
“It’s not too much. We just have to get you to relax,” Negan breathed against her ear, nipping at her earlobe when he reached around with his right hand to caress his fingers over her clitoris making her whine when he did it. Taking his time to work his caress over her sensitive bundle of her nerves, Negan loved the sounds he was drawing from her. When her cries became more of those of pleasure, he started rolling his hips again. “There we go.”
Within time things started feeling better as Negan angled his hips differently. She was doing her best to stay up on her legs while Negan continued to rock his hips into hers. The deep plunges his body made inside of her made her bite at her bottom lip and her soft cries filled the air. Using that as encouragement, Negan quickened the caress of his fingertips over her body and thrust his hips at the same pace.
“Let it happen,” Negan whispered when he could sense that she was holding back. “Cum for daddy.”
“Negan,” she shuddered, lowering her head and Negan grasped tightly to her body to keep her steady while he continued his motions through her orgasm. The room was spinning around her, her thighs convulsing. It didn’t stop Negan’s movements and his mouth peppered kisses over her neck. When his sharp winces followed, she could feel the pulsating of his body inside of her. It was a strange feeling but when he began to empty himself into her, she found herself panicked.
Every muscle in Negan’s body was flexing behind her. He was pressed up against her back until he finished with his orgasm. Taking a moment to stand there for them, Negan chuckled and bit firmly at the side of her neck. Looking down, Negan very slowly pulled his softening cock from her body. The dripping sounds of their fluids hitting the floor were heard and he let out a proud breath.
“Hold onto the shelves so you don’t fall,” Negan suggested as he began to pull his pants back up over his body. Pushing his cock back into his boxer briefs, Negan squeezed over his body and could see her resting her head forward against the shelves. She was still shaking and the sounds she was making showed that she was trying to catch her breath. Helping her pull her pants back up her body, Negan led her toward one of the pallets to get her to sit down and she winced. “You’re going to hurt for a while, but welcome to the world of normal. You don’t have to worry about being a virgin anymore.”
Reaching out, he urged her eyes to his and gave an arrogant bob of his head, “No one will ever be the first man to have you or to give you your first orgasm. It will always be me. I hope you always think of me with your future lovers.”
When Negan lowered in closer to her, she reached up to draw her hand over the side of his face to pull her to him. A pleased sound escaped Negan’s lips as she kissed him in a long drawn out motion, “You’re welcome…”
“Negan,” she swallowed down, pushing her forehead to his when she thought about what they did. “Should you have pulled out?”
“Nah, unfortunately I can’t have kids,” Negan informed her with a wince as he pulled his belt back together. There was a sense of sadness in her eyes as Negan shrugged his shoulders. “I tried for fucking ever before all of this to have children with Lucille. It never worked. I’m like a hundred percent certain I’m sterile.”
“Oh,” she didn’t know how to respond and Negan shrugged his shoulders. It didn’t seem to bother him that much and she bit down on her bottom lip. “Was that okay?”
“Oh yeah,” Negan reached out to squeeze at her shoulder in a supportive grasp. “I’m going to go get someone to tell them about the supplies back here. I’ll be right back.”
Nodding, Y/N lowered her head when Negan left and she swallowed down hard. Part of her was happy that Negan was her first, but the other part of her wasn’t exactly happy with how it happened. It also didn’t seem like it meant much to Negan where as it meant everything to her. Their group came in the back to get the supplies and a few of them took notice of how she seemed to be different while she sat there. Negan explained that she got ‘injured’. Other than that they didn’t really expand upon what happened. It certainly was hard to move around after what happened, so the walk back to the campsite wasn’t exactly the best.
At nightfall, Y/N had taken her sleeping bag down by the water to sit by the fire. She wanted some time to think about things alone. By asking Negan to take her virginity, she felt like she was being obvious in telling him that he was the one that she liked. Unfortunately, it didn’t really resonate with Negan that’s where she was headed with things. Pulling her legs up closer to her chest, she heard the sound of someone moving in beside her and she huffed when she saw it was Negan with his sleeping bag underneath his arm.
“Why are you taking off from the rest of the group?” Negan pondered, sitting down with Y/N after he laid out his sleeping bag beside her. The group was very far off in the distance nowhere near the water and his eyes surveyed her over carefully. “You know you shouldn’t be alone. One of the dead could come out of nowhere and gnaw on you.”
“I’m not sure that would really bother anyone,” she chuckled and Negan frowned as he leaned in to rest his head on her shoulder.
“It would bother me for sure. You’re my best friend here,” Negan reminded her and let out a hesitant breath. “In fact, I feel like you’re the only person that can stand me right now.”
“Well people are stupid and they don’t know what they’re missing out on,” she reached out to pat him on the thigh and he tilted his head to the side. “I just needed some time to myself to think about things. You didn’t have to come down here if you didn’t want to.”
“I wanted to,” Negan assured her, dropping back against the sleeping bags. Stretching out his body, Negan looked up at the sky and urged her to lay back with him. “I’m sorry I kind of fucked up your first time. I got carried away.”
“It wasn’t fucked up,” she retorted with sigh as she rested back on the sleeping bag. Negan reached for her hand to grab a hold of it and she felt him bringing it up to his lips to press a kiss over the back of it. “I’m sure with this day in age, it was a decent one.”
“Maybe we should have a do-over,” Negan stated, his expression staying the same while he looked up at the stars. Looking over at Negan, her eyes narrowed and he offered up a bright smile. “Maybe pretend that now is your first time. Under the stars, beside the fire. That sounds more like the right way to do things.”
“Stop, they could see us,” she laughed and Negan shook his head. “Plus, you don’t want to do that again.”  
“I actually totally do. Also, they only care about themselves,” Negan sat up and reached for his shirt to pull it from his body. Tossing the material aside, he saw her eyes surveying over his slender form. Starting to undo his pants, Negan got the rest of his clothes off except for his boxer briefs and urged her up onto her knees. “I think it’s only right to do after I fucked up so bad earlier. Don’t be shy now. We fucked in that store and everyone could have heard us.”
“To be fair, I never thought it would be going that far,” she reminded him and watched as Negan undid his sleeping back to spread it completely out.
He did the same with hers before helping to get her out of her clothes. It seemed like Negan didn’t give a shit if anyone saw them as he tugged down his boxer briefs. Yet the whole time the only thing she could think about was the rest of their group seeing them. When Negan leaned her back against the sleeping bag, she watched him pull the sleeping bag in over him as he lowered down over her making her let out a shuddering breath.  
“See, now we’re hidden enough for you,” Negan lowered himself over her, bracing himself on his elbows. Dipping down, his lips pressed in over hers and he could feel her palms sliding up over the length of his back. Bracing his weight on his left arm, Negan reached down between them and heard the nervous sound she let out. “You’re already been through the hard part. It won’t get any worse than that moment.”
“It’s still very new for me,” she swallowed down and Negan smiled, lowering his forehead to hers. Instead of going right into it like he had planned, she could feel him touching and caressing her to get her prepared. Lifting up, she kissed him and was eager to have some kind of bond between them. The fact that Negan was willing to do this again was a good thing she thought. That meant maybe he felt for her the way she felt for him. It just took what happened at the store for things to work out. Pulling her mouth from his, she stared him in the eyes and stroked over the side of his face. “You are an amazing man.”
Instead of responding, Negan snickered and his nose wrinkled. Shuddering, she felt Negan reaching between them again. Tracing his tip through her folds, Negan took his time to watch her reaction to it. When she was shaking, Negan took that as initiative to lead his body toward her entrance. Pushing his hips forward, he heard her whimper out and his forehead creased. His jaw lowered and he braced his palms beside her when he entered her fully.
“Fuck,” Negan grunted, lowering his head to nuzzle his nose against her neck. Clutching to Negan’s hair she could feel his thrusts were more careful and drawn out. Much like he had said that he wanted to do. The closeness of their bodies underneath the sleeping bags as well as doing this under the night sky was perfect. This was so good that it almost felt like dream of hers because she would have never pictured having Negan like this. Negan’s head lifted and he stared down at her trying to see if she was enjoying what they were doing. “Better?”
“Much,” she whimpered when he started to quicken the rolling of his hips toward her. Kissing Negan in this position was so much better than earlier in the day. The way he was looking at her, touching her and making sure that every movement was to her liking was amazing. “Negan…”
“Shh…enjoy the moment,” Negan hummed against her lips before sliding his lips to her jawline to press wet kisses over her flesh.
Compared to their first time together, this was exceedingly better. When they had finished Negan had held her in his arms until both of them had fallen asleep. That’s how it had been multiple times after that moment. They would spend all of their time together hanging out and would fall into each other most nights.
Even though he hadn’t said it or they hadn’t really acknowledged it, things felt like they were dating. That’s how close they often were. It was special for Y/N because she felt like she was getting to have a relationship with Negan and she cared greatly for him.
After some time, Negan had won over the trust of the group they were in and people had started looking to Negan instead of Dwight to be in charge after some close calls. It was nice getting to see Negan get the attention that he deserved for saving people and she was proud of him, but it meant getting to spend less time with him.
While she sat sitting alone to herself, she wished she would see Negan since it was her birthday. Reading through the latest book that she had found, she let out a gasp when someone hopped down beside her. A bright smile spread over her features when she realized it was Negan beside her. His dimples sank in when he saw that he had shocked her and he chuckled.
Negan reached inside of his pocket to pull out a cupcake that was wrapped in a package. Ripping it open, Negan held his hand up to motion her to wait a moment as he pulled out a candle to stick it in the middle. She couldn’t help, but giggle when he did it and her eyes connected with his, “What is this?”
“It’s not a homemade cake, but it’s the best I could do right now. I had to pocket this the moment I found it just for this moment,” Negan’s eyebrows arched and he could see that she was shocked with the gesture. A proud smile was over Negan’s face knowing how touched she seemed to be by it. Reaching into his pocket he grabbed the lighter and lit the candle before holding it out close to her. “It’s your birthday. Make a wish.”
“You remembered?” she confirmed and Negan nodded, his face scrunching when she seemed surprised. “This is incredibly nice Negan.”
“The wind is going to blow out the candle and then your wish is going to go completely out the window,” Negan teased and she chuckled before doing as he asked of her. After she blew out the candle, Negan could see that her eyes closed and he took advantage. Moving in to kiss her, he felt her shocked against the movement and when they parted Negan let out an amused breath. “Now what was your other wish?”
“God,” she rolled her eyes, letting out a laugh when Negan moved in to kiss her a few more times playfully.  Raising his finger, Negan motioned her to wait as he went over to his bag that was in the distance. Noticing that he had an old Polaroid camera in his hand she could see him swiftly moving toward her. “What is that?”
“I hid these when I picked them up so no one knew I had the good stuff,” Negan looked over his shoulder to make sure they were alone. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her in closer to him and cuddled his head up next to hers. “We’re going to take one…so smile…”
Quickly rising up the Polaroid camera, Negan leaned in to press a kiss in over her cheek to snap a photo of the two of them together. When it came out, he handed it over to her to hold before attempting to take another one. For this one she reached out with her free hand to press in over his chin to pull him closer to her so she could kiss his cheek. Snorting, he grabbed the next photo that came out and went to put the camera back in his bag.
“Now that one is yours…and this one is mine,” Negan waved the photo to try and get it to develop faster and a chuckle fell from his throat. Dropping down beside her again, Negan made sure that he was close to her and could see that she was eyeing over the photo. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re cute,” her eyes met Negan’s. He was watching her closely clearly trying to read how she was feeling. “You know how much I care about you, right?”
“Of course I do,” Negan winked and nudged her playfully with his elbow, “You’re my best friend.”
“I think we’re a bit beyond best friends,” she suggested and Negan shrugged his shoulders before looking down to the photo he had taken for himself.
“I have one more thing that I have planned for tonight,” Negan started to talk to only hear someone call out to him and he looked over his shoulder to see someone in the group waving him down. “Being the leader now sucks because you can’t get ten seconds to fucking breathe, but go to apartment two-c in about two hours, okay? I have some things I have to talk about with the rest of the guys.”
“Why?” her nose wrinkled and Negan hopped up from where he was sitting. He slid his picture that he had into his pocket and looked back toward the person that was waving him down again.
“It’s a birthday thing, so just do it,” Negan ordered, snapping his fingers at her and she shrugged her shoulders. She was completely enamored with Negan and loved him. There was no doubt in that. Whatever he had planned, he seemed pretty proud of, so it excited her.
Waiting those two hours, she headed to the apartment building that they had set up outside of. Moving inside, she went upstairs to the second floor and found the room that he had asked her to come to. Pushing open the door, she let out a nervous sound and saw that he had candles lit in the apartment making her chuckle.
“Negan?” she called out looking in the bedroom hoping to find Negan there when she couldn’t find him in the rest of the apartment. There was a box on the bed that said open me written on it.
Moving forward, she grabbed a hold of it and saw that there was a keychain inside of it. Picking it up, she saw that it was one that had stars on it with the words ‘you are my shining star’ on it. A laugh fell from her throat when she looked it over and ran her thumb over the front of it. She wondered if he had grabbed it for her since the second time that they were together they had done it under the stars together and he made a rather big deal about it.
The sound of something knocking over was heard in the bathroom and she looked over her shoulder toward it. Going to the door, she pushed it open slowly to hear the sounds of loud breaths filling the air. When her eyes fell upon what was inside, she felt her heart breaking.
Negan had Sherry propped up against the sink and her arms were hooked around Negan’s shoulders. Negan’s pants were at his ankles while he thrust his hips up toward her again and again. There was a sinking feeling in her gut while Sherry’s cries filled the small bathroom. Stepping back, Y/N headed for the door and felt her chest aching. She knew that Negan had originally had a thing for Sherry, but she thought at this point after weeks of them being together that Negan actually liked her. For some reason she pictured in her mind that they were dating and they were together. With all the time they had been spending together and the way that Negan had been treating her she just thought more was going on.
Why would he tell her to come to the apartment? Was he planning on hurting her the whole time? All she knew was that she was hurt and broken hearted after what she saw. There was an overwhelming amount of emotions flooding over her as she made it back outside and went to sit on the brick wall that surrounded the apartment building they were at.
About twenty minutes later, she heard someone calling out her name and she glanced over her shoulder to see that Negan was moving out toward her. Ignoring him, she adjusted her position back to where she was before. She hated him right now and with how upset she was, she didn’t even want to see his face.
“You will never guess what just happened,” Negan hopped up on the brick wall with her. There a giant smile spread out over his features, but when he saw her crying he let out a tense breath. A nervous laugh fell from Negan’s throat when he looked her over. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“Something tells me we’re both reacting over the same thing,” she responded looking at the keychain that was in her hand that Negan had obviously found for her. Lifting her head, her eyes connected with his and she could see that he was genuinely confused. “You’re such an asshole.”
“What?” Negan stammered, a grunt falling from his throat when she slid down from the wall. A moment later she threw the keychain at him and it hit him in the center of the chest before falling into his lap. “Why are you acting like this?”
“I’m so stupid,” she walked off in the distance toward the field that was to the left of the apartment building. Negan hopped down to follow her toward the woods where she was headed. When she got a bit ahead, she felt Negan grabbing a hold of her wrist to tug her back to him. “She doesn’t even like you. You know that? She only fucked you because now you have power. Before people started looking up to you she didn’t even look at you.”
“This is about Sherry?” Negan confirmed with a snort and he watched her folding her arms out in front of her chest. Looking down at the keychain, he held it up and shrugged his shoulders. “She saw me heading into the building and then followed me I guess. I was setting up the thing for your birthday and…”
Negan looked down at the keychain that was in his hand and he lifted his gaze to hers, “Didn’t like your gift?”
“It lost its special meaning when I saw the two of you together,” she tried to leave, but she felt Negan forcing her against one of the trees that was behind her to keep her in place. Wincing, she could feel the bark scraping her arm and Negan loosened his grip when he realized he had hurt her. “Let me go Negan. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore."
“You’re my best friend,” Negan reminded her and his eyebrows bounced up. A laugh fell from her throat when she started crying again and it was clear that Negan was sincerely confused which made this worse. “I don’t understand why you are acting this way? I thought you would be happy for me. You know how I felt about Sherry. I don’t get why you are acting like this.”
“Which makes this so much worse Negan. You really are just a massive piece of shit aren’t you?” she shoved into his chest and Negan let out a grunt when she hit him. She hit him a few more times in the chest and Negan stared down at her with a shocked expression. “I can’t believe I saw more in you than there actually was. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. I hate you.”
“Now is not the time to be a bitch to me when I’m in charge,” Negan muttered as she started to walk away and Negan’s eyebrows were furrowed when she turned on her heel to look back at him. “You decide to do this to me when things start going right for me? Are you jealous?”
“Wow,” she let out a shocked sound when Negan threw the keychain he had gotten her aside in the dirt. “You think this is me jealous that you are in charge now? You are so blind and stupid if that’s really where you think is coming from.”
There was a moment of silence between them and she reached up to wipe at her face. Shaking her head, she moved to leave him and Negan grabbed her again, pulling her to him. A gasp fell from her throat when she fell into his chest and Negan grabbed a tight hold of her jaw. Digging his fingers into her jaw, he forced her to look at him and he felt her fighting to get out of his grasp until he demanded her attention with the way he grabbed a hold of her.
“I would highly rethink anything you are considering doing or saying to me in the next few minutes,” Negan warned her and he could feel her tears against his fingertips while he turned her head to the side. “I’ve been good to you when I didn’t need to be, so I’d show a little gratitude toward me if you want to still be part of my life.”
Trying to pull herself from his grasp, she winced when his fingers dug deeper into her flesh. The way his angry eyes were hooked on her made her heart hammer inside of her chest. How could he be so oblivious to the fact that she was in love with him and she thought they were actually dating?
Finally, he released her with a shove and it caused her to stumble over her feet making her fall to the ground. Negan stood before her, his eyes narrowing while she slowly pulled herself up into a sitting position on the ground. Rubbing at the side of her face where he had been grabbing her, she felt the tears continue to burn at her eyes knowing that Negan had turned out to be everything that she thought he wasn’t.
Getting up from the ground, she said nothing more and started walking away from Negan toward where her things were. The sound Negan let out showed that he was angry with her for just walking away instead of saying anything more. That night when they were all surrounded by the fire for dinner she had seen Negan glaring out at her and she tried to avoid eye contact with him. It broke her that instead of understanding that he hurt her, he just assumed that she was jealous of him becoming the leader of the group.
After that night, things progressed quickly for Negan. They had found The Sanctuary and Negan had built his team of Saviors. At some point Y/N had thought that Negan would eventually realize what happened and he would come to her to talk to her, but he never did. They never talked after that moment and when he would be around he would never acknowledge her. Somehow she had ended up being one of his lower ranked Saviors and watching Negan marry woman after woman hurt. Especially considering the special circumstances that he hadn’t even clearly known about with her.
Multiple times she had tried to get a meeting with him through Simon. The first few times Simon had seen if Negan would talk to her, but every single time Simon would come back and tell her that Negan didn’t want to talk to her or he was too busy.
After getting pretty desperate she had gone to Negan’s office one night hoping to be able to talk to Negan about some things. She wouldn’t have done if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, but she knew that she had to talk to him. Going at night she assumed that he would be alone, but she let out a disappointed sound when she saw Simon standing near the door talking to Negan. When she made it near the door, Simon heard her steps and the look he gave her when he saw her made him let out a disappointed sound.
“I told you, he doesn’t have time to talk to you,” Simon grunted, stepping into the hallway to reach for her arm to tug her away from the door. “If you have a question, you can come to me later and I will answer it for you.”
“Simon, I get it. I just need to talk to him, okay?” she looked to the door to see Negan sitting at the desk with an amused expression. Instead of being the laid back man she had grown to love, his once messy hair was now slicked back and he had an arrogant smile over his features. “It’s important.”
“Nothing is important enough for you to continuously ignore what I’ve been telling you,” Simon grunted, shoving her toward the railing that surrounded the second floor for people to look down to the first. “You don’t get to just demand time with Negan. If Negan wants to talk to you, he’ll come to you. It doesn’t work the other way around.”
“Negan, please…” she looked beyond Simon toward Negan that was watching the two of them together. It seemed like he was amused with what was happening and she felt her heart breaking knowing that this was a man she was once close to. “I just…”
“I said fuck off,” Simon shoved her again before reaching for her wrist to grasp a tight hold of it. It made her wince with how hard he was holding onto it. The yank he gave her made her cry out as he pulled her away from Negan’s office. “I’ll be right back boss man. This one can’t seem to take a hint.”
“I just have to talk to him about something important,” she tried to reason, but Simon continued to drag her toward the steps to go to the first floor even knowing that her room was on the second floor.
“How many times have I fucking told you no? Huh?” Simon tugged her and she felt her chest aching while he glared down angrily at her. “Maybe some time in one of the dark rooms will make you realize what you’re doing wrong.”
“Simon,” Negan’s voice boomed in behind them and Simon looked over his shoulder to see that Negan was standing in the doorway. “I’ll give her five minutes.”
“Kneel,” Simon ordered with Negan standing before them and when she didn’t she felt Simon digging into her shoulder to get her to lower down. When she didn’t bow for him, Simon forced her to lower her head and Negan’s laugh filled the air. In the past if someone would have manhandled her like that she was certain that Negan would have kicked their ass and not thought twice about it, but now he was laughing. In the past he had saved her more times that she cared to admit, but now he was just as bad as the men he had saved her from if not worse. When Negan started heading back toward his office, Simon allowed her to get up and he shoved her toward the office. When Simon pushed her inside, Negan waved his fingers in the air for Simon to shut the door and Simon obeyed.
Watching Negan saunter over to his seat, she felt her throat going dry as he set Lucille against the side of the desk and then dropped down in his seat. Finally, Negan’s eyes met hers and he simply shrugged his shoulders, “What’s so damn important that you’ve tried to force yourself in here multiple times?”
“We just…we need to talk,” she informed him and Negan gave her a dramatic expression as if motioning her to continue. “I know I upset you a few months ago, but you’ve been avoiding me and refuse to talk to me. I didn’t know how to talk to you. I didn’t think you would just straight up pretend like I didn’t even exist anymore.”
“You don’t to me,” Negan interrupted her, his eyebrows arching up as he spoke and he bit into his bottom lip. “You’re just someone that exists to make the process of this place continue to work. You understand? You’re a resource.”
“That’s not how things used to be,” she swallowed down hard and saw the way that Negan gave her a sideways glance.
“What are you trying to say?” Negan laughed, propping his feet up on his desk while Y/N stared out at him. “I really haven’t had the time to hang out if that’s what you’re talking about. I know we were close before I became the leader, but things change. You know?”
“I know that and I understand that. I know you’re busy,” she knew that she didn’t want to fight with him. She just had to talk to him and tell him something. “What I kind of have to talk about was around that time when were in that wholesale store together.”
She hoped in reminding him of their time together, he would actually start to look at her in a better light. Negan clasped his hands together in his lap. An arrogant smile tugged at his lips when his eyebrows tensed together.
“You’re talking about when I fucked you and took your virginity?” Negan responded and she felt her heart sink when he said it like that that. Nodding, she bit at her bottom lip and sighed heavily. Having him talk like that caused her face to flush over and he acted like it was no big deal. “What about it? Are you just looking to knock booty again?”
“No, there are just a few things about that time that I think we need to talk about. I think I need to be honest with you about something from back then and then you should know something kind of important,” she realized that this was going to be hard because she had never been fully honest with Negan in the past things about things because she was nervous how he would react. “See...that day I told you that I liked someone, I wasn’t completely honest with you because it was you that I liked Negan. I was just nervous to tell you. I didn’t know how you would handle it, so I said what I did. You were the person that I really wanted to be with.”
“Well that’s a smart way to get someone to fuck you if they are the person you are attracted to,” Negan’s face scrunched up and he sat there waiting for her to say something more. “And?”
“I just kind of thought after that moment in the wholesale store that the two of us were dating,” she explained, her voice stammering as she spoke. It was hard to keep eye contact with Negan because his blank stare was almost making her feel small. “We were always together. You kept doing nice things and we were together…a lot. So when I saw you with Sherry on my birthday...”
The smile slowly faded from Negan’s features and his eyebrows bounced up, “That’s why you were a bitch toward me.”
“Within reason I think,” she muttered and Negan snorted before starting to laugh. Negan lowered his head and pinched at the bridge of his nose.
“Well, your actions make sense now that I know you were jealous over me fucking Sherry on your birthday,” Negan almost added emphasis to his words to dig the knife deeper. It made her shift on her feet uncomfortable and he dragged his tongue over his bottom lip. “I don’t know what made you think we were dating though.”
“It was the way you were with me, the things you said,” she recalled how amazing he had been with her after they had slept together the second time.
“Did I ever say we were dating?” Negan inquired, his face turning somewhat red as he stared out at her. Lowering her head, she felt stupid when he said that and realized that he was trying to dig things in harder. “Speak when you are spoken to. Answer me. Did I ever say we were dating?”
“No,” she answered, her eyes burning with the way he was talking to her.
“No, I didn’t,” Negan repeated with a scowl and he dropped his feet down from the desk to place his hands out over the top of it. “In order for people to be dating, you both have to kind of acknowledge it, right?”
“Negan…” she felt a tear sliding down the side of her face and she tried to think of something to say, but was lost for words.
“Right?!” Negan demanded her response and she bit at her bottom lip.
“Right,” she repeated what he wanted her to say.
“So if someone was at fault for thinking there was something more between us…was it me? Or was it you?” Negan grunted and she felt like her body was on fire while he continued to belittle her. The sound of his hand slamming against the top of his desk was heard and it made her jump. “If you continue to avoid answering my questions…”
“It was my fault,” she whispered and even though she didn’t want to be she felt tears sliding down her face. More than anything she wanted to act like this wasn’t bothering her, but it was.
“So I didn’t deserve you treating me like that? Did I?” Negan snapped, but she refused to look at him. Standing up from the desk, Negan moved around and reached for her jaw to force her eyes to connect with his.
“No, you didn’t,” she told him what he wanted to hear and he nodded slowly. The way his jaw was flexing made her uncomfortable. “I just thought after that day you might try to talk to me, but the more power you got the more things changed. You married multiple women and…”
“Get to the point. You’re boring me at this point,” Negan rolled his eyes and firmly released her jaw to move back toward his desk to sit on the edge of it.
“I don’t know, I just thought you might have missed me,” she looked down at herself knowing that she may have not been as much of a looker as she was when they first got together. Things had been rough with being one of his lower level saviors. Her clothes weren’t great and it wasn’t like Negan provided her with things that would draw her to be appealing to him. “That what we had might have been special to you and you would have eventually asked me to…”
“Oh, I see,” Negan chuckled realizing where she was going with this. “You think that the two of us have some kind of connection. You think we have a bond.”
She said nothing, but Negan had a rumble of laughter fall from his throat and he grasped tightly to the edge of the desk, “Back then, I hadn’t had sex since before Lucille died. I would have stuck my cock in any hole that was asking and you were pretty much begging. Now that I’m in charge, I have girls lining up to be my wife. They like the benefits. They like the power. I get to fuck any pussy that I want. I’m not desperate like I was then.”
“Desperate?” she repeated his words and he smiled brightly while nodding once. “So are you saying that I’m not someone that you would want to be with?”
“You’re just not my type,” Negan grunted in almost a vicious tone, his nose wrinkling when he looked her over. “I fucked you because you were there. We didn’t have a bond. We didn’t have something special and I’m honored that your little crush was on me, but what did you expect when you came in here today? That I was going to admit to you that my feelings were the same and I would beg you to be one of my wives too? I didn’t even make you one of my higher up saviors. Fuck, I haven’t even thought about you since that day you got upset with me. Now if you want to fuck again, I’ll consider it, but other than that...I think we’re done here.”
“Okay,” she felt her bottom lip trembling hearing that from Negan she was pretty much undesirable to him. “There is something though…”
“Can’t you take a hint?” Negan growled, his voice getting raspy as he continued to speak. “What does it take to get through that thick skull of yours that I’m not fucking interested? I never was. I never will be and there is nothing you can do to change that. If you want me to fuck you, get over here and bend over the desk and I’ll fuck you if it makes you feel better.”
Gradually Negan pulled apart his belt and opened up his pants, “If it makes you stop bothering me and my men, I’m willing to do it. To leave you on a fucking high since you’re pretty much obsessed with me. You can think of it as a gift from me. Otherwise…piss off.”
“Wow,” she let out a shocked sound when Negan pulled his jacket from his shoulders and tossed it to the couch that was in the corner of his office. Negan unzipped his pants and pushed them down his hips making her let out a disgusted breath. “Do you really think I’m that pathetic that I would want to fuck you after everything you just said to me?”
There was a long silence between them. A smirk pressed in over Negan’s features and his right eyebrow arched up, “Yes? Yes, I do.”
“Being in charge really changed you, didn’t it? You’re not the person that saved me. That was a good man. The man you are now…” she felt her heart hammering inside of her chest with how angry she was at Negan.
“You have no idea the man I was. I was lonely and would have saved anyone at the time to make sure that I had someone with me. Fuck girl. You knew from the start that I had a thing for Sherry. You were just a pussy for me until I got what I really wanted,” Negan looked down toward his body and he grabbed a firm hold of his member. “I bet I was the last person to fuck you, right?”
Her eyes lowered down toward the ground and he could see her hand sliding in over her abdomen making him snort, “Listen, I’m doing you a favor here while also doing one for myself if this makes you finally leave me alone. Get over here and bend over that desk.”
“I think we’re done here,” he could see that she was still upset with him and her jaw tightened as she spoke. “I’m sorry for wasting your time tonight.”
“You’re fucking joking,” Negan scoffed when she went to head for the door and he reached for his pants to pull them back up over his hips. “You come in here telling me that you were hoping that I would make you one of my wives. Looking at me with those doe eyes hoping that I fucking loved you and you’re just going to walk away?”
“Yes,” she simply answered and an angered sound fell from Negan’s throat as he zipped his pants back up before he pulled them together. “I may be pathetic, but I’m not that pathetic.”
“You know I notice you’re getting a little swelled,” Negan muttered as she reached for the doorknob and she stopped in her tracks when he said that. “It’s making me think you have too much food available to you. Maybe you could stand to go on the points system for a little bit so you can get back to your previous look. My saviors should be fit, not getting fat. It gives the wrong look.”
The door pushed open and Y/N felt her blood boiling when Negan moved back toward his desk to sit down.
“You know that’s the whole reason I came here,” she started and Simon moved in behind her, but Negan was done with her as he waved his hand in the air.
“We’re done here,” Negan scoffed making her let out a tense breath when Simon grabbed her to pull her away from the door. “Simon, make sure that it’s made known that Y/N is now going to be working for points. Start her on level one.��
“What?” she snapped seeing Negan lifting his eyes at her, “that’s what someone makes when they first get here and are on probation. I’ve been here since the beginning and I need supplies Negan, you don’t understand.”
“Get her out of here,” Negan demanded and Simon grabbed her before she could say another word, slamming the door shut before she could bicker with Negan anymore.
Once Simon got her away from the door, she started to head for the steps and Simon followed her. When she went to head for the door that went to the outside he grabbed a tight hold of her to stop her, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I need some air or I’m going to explode. Did me getting demoted make it so I can’t go outside anymore?” she snapped and Simon grunted as she walked outside. Following her out, Simon stood at the stairs and she was pissed that he was watching her. “Why are you following me?”
“People do stupid things when they are angry,” Simon answered and he heard the sound of commotion inside the building. A frustrated sound fell from his throat and he threw his finger up in the air. “You better stay right there.”
“Where am I going to go?” she threw her hands up in the air and could see that Simon was contemplating not going back in, but he did.
It wasn’t actually until Simon said that to her that she was considering leaving. There had to be a place better than this. Somewhere that she would be able to survive without having to deal with the past of the hurt that she would always be reminded of here. Everything that was important to her, she had in her pockets. Everything else she would certainly be caught trying to escape with them if she decided to leave after grabbing her things from her room, so she left them. Surveying the area, she made sure that that the saviors were looking elsewhere when she managed to climb up over the gates surrounding The Sanctuary. She had to be careful not to hurt herself on the barbed wire, but still had managed to knick herself when she went over. Cussing to herself, she ran as fast as she could toward the wooded area to attempt to get out of sight. If someone caught her sneaking out, she knew it wouldn’t be good. She had heard rumors, but she just wanted to be gone and away from Negan. When she had finally made it into the wooded area, she ripped a part of her jacket to tie it around the area she cut from escaping. Doing her best to make it through the darkness, she relied on the moon to move through the woods to the best of her ability. All she had was a knife and she realized how stupid at this point it was for her to actually escape. Back at The Sanctuary she had a room, but being stuck with Negan just felt wrong.
All night she walked and by morning she had found a tree to sit down by to get some rest. There was a sense of regret that had flooded through her because she didn’t know what she was going to do. She had responsibilities and not being able to find any other civilization made her nervous. And she knew how people were.
“Where the fuck could she have gone?” Simon’s voice boomed and she scrambled to hide herself in one of the bushes. “Negan is going to fucking cut my balls off if I don’t find her.”
“You shouldn’t have taken your eyes off of her,” Dwight’s voice responded with a snort. “You knew better than to leave an emotional woman alone.”
“Things were happening and we just need to find her. If we don’t come back with her after he ordered us to find her, I’m dead,” Simon groaned and she could feel herself shaking. “I’m going to kill this bitch when we get her back to The Sanctuary myself for causing me so much fucking trouble. I can’t wait to put her on the damn fence with all the others…”
A flood of panic rushed through Y/N when she realized what happened to those that escaped from The Sanctuary when they were caught. The sound of Dwight snorting was heard and she attempted to stay exceedingly still, “Negan doesn’t do that to women.”
“I think this woman would be an exception, she had him fucking pissed off last night,” Simon retorted surveying the area and he let out a frustrated sound. “Do you remember when we were just that small group? I swore the two of them were together, but…”
“Does it matter?” Dwight snorted and Simon groaned. The sound of something rattling was heard and she noticed that her canteen had slid out. “What was that?”
Simon started walking down the hill toward her and she cringed knowing that in no time he would find her. Wincing, she waited until the sound of something else drew Simon to look over his shoulder and he started heading the other way. Sliding out from the brushes, she went to leave only to feel someone grab her by the shoulder. A pair of blue eyes were locked on hers and she felt her heart pounding inside of her chest. The curly, short haired man motioned for her to be quiet and she realized he must have been the one to make the noise to get Simon away. Following the man through the woods, she stayed quiet until they showed up at the gates of a place called Alexandria.
“What is this?” she muttered and the man looked to her with an arched brow. “Who are you?”
“My name is Aaron,” he placed his hand over the center of his chest and he looked back toward the walls that surrounded the town that was inside. “How many walkers have you killed?”
“I lost count at this point,” she was honest knowing that she had gone through so much in the short amount of time.
“How many people have you killed?” Aaron poked and she let out a shuddering breath before shaking her head.
“None,” she was honest and swallowed down hard knowing that it likely made her look pathetic since she wasn’t much of a fighter. “Why?”
“Then welcome to our community,” Aaron whistled and someone opened the doors allowing her in.
After that moment she had become part of the community of Alexandria. Thankfully she had been able to avoid Negan when he had found Alexandria and things were great until they had Negan prisoned in Alexandria after they had captured Negan. She worked so hard to avoid seeing Negan, but when they ordered her to take him his food one day; she knew that she had no choice because everyone else was busy.
Muttering to herself over and over, she told herself that it would be fine. It had been too long. Negan wouldn’t even know who she was. It had been years. All she had to do was give him his food and leave. She repeated that like a mantra. Once she headed down the stairs, she could see Negan slouched over on his cot. The look of him was nothing like she was used to with his long beard and his hair that had been cut to a mess. Someone at Alexandria likely had done that haircut for him in a rush without a care if they were nicking Negan’s flesh.
Keeping her head low, she put the tray of food on the ground for Negan before his cell. Negan lifted his head and she hoped that he just wouldn’t notice her. Attempting to turn on her heel, she heard the sound of his breathing change, “Y/N?”
Immediately regretting her decision not to throw this task off on someone else, she watched Negan slowly get up from the cot and move to the bars. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Negan’s long, slender fingers wrapping around the bars and he let out a desperate sound when his eyes met hers, “God, it is you. I thought you were dead.”
“Nope, I’m alive,” she simply stated and Negan’s eyes were big. There were multiple cuts and bruises on Negan’s face and she had a hard time looking at him. “So are you.”
“I don’t know for how much longer,” Negan stammered, his eyebrows arched and it was clear that he was full of remorse. Negan had gotten much skinnier than what she was used to and remembered. Instead of sticking around, she knew it would be for the best if she left.
“You should eat,” she attempted to leave, but Negan reached through the bars and grabbed a tight hold of her wrist to get her to stop from leaving.
“You have to help me,” Negan pleaded, his eyes hooked on hers and he could see the uncomfortable look over her face. “Please. I can’t keep living like this. They beat on me. No one talks to me. No one should have to live like this. Please help me.”
“I don’t think I could,” she explained seeing that Negan’s eyes were full of hope after he had realized he knew her.
“Come on, we were friends,” Negan clutched to the bars, his eyes pleading with her. Offering up a weak smile, he attempted to reach out again to grasp at her fingers, but she pulled away from him. “You have to feel some kind of connection to me, right? I was the guy to take your virginity. Remember? We had something special. The two of us had a bond when this whole thing started. You were in love with me. I can’t live like this Y/N. Please help me.”  
There was a silence that filled the air around them and suddenly she was having flashes of the last time that Negan had spoken with her in his office. The way he belittled her and down talked her still resonated deeply with her and she still remembered those words he told her. It left her bitter and angry toward him.  
“Funny how that’s your story now that you have nothing and no one,” she bit at her bottom lip watching the hopeful expression slowly leaving Negan’s eyes. “You fucked me because I was just there. You were desperate. We didn’t have a bond. We didn’t have something special. Do these words stick with you Negan?”
“I was being an asshole that day because I was still mad at you for abandoning me. I thought you were my best friend and you got pissed at me. I realize that I should have been more caring about your feelings when you were telling me how you felt, but at the time when we were together I just thought we were friends that were sleeping together,” Negan attempted to explain with a grunt, his eyes still desperate for her to help him. “All I wanted was Sherry at that point and then when you abandoned me for getting the one thing I wanted. I just got so angry at you that I was treating you like shit, but after thinking about it…after losing you I knew the way I treated you was wrong.”
“You didn’t lose me because you didn’t want me in the first place,” she corrected him and Negan frowned when she said that.
“I didn’t think that you were in love with me, but after that day you told me how you felt, I thought back on it and I realize you were right that there was something special between the two of us,” Negan assured her and attempted to reach for her fingers to squeeze at them. “I didn’t mean what I said Y/N. I didn’t realize you were going to run away from me. I’m sorry for what I said. My relationship with you was very important to me. I love you. I can tell by the way you look at me that you still love me too.”
This was everything she had ever wanted to hear from him in the past. This was kind of what she had hoped for when she talked to him at The Sanctuary, but she knew the kind of manipulator Negan had become. He was the master of it.
“That’s where you’re wrong Negan,” she looked down toward his fingers that were hooked with hers and she shook her head slowly. Pulling her hand from his she stepped back toward the door to his cell and shrugged her shoulders. “You’re just not my type.”
“Y/N?” Negan called out her name as she headed for the door leaving him with what he had said to her back then. When she closed the door to his cell she could hear him screaming her name and the word please afterwards. It sound like he was sobbing, but she didn’t care. Not after all he had put her through during those few months at The Sanctuary.
Everything was fine for years after that. They never pushed her to have to see Negan again and she lived life the best possible way she could. Six years had passed and Y/N had found herself coming home late after working all day. Moving upstairs toward her room, she checked on something before heading toward her room. When she pushed open the door, a gasp fell from her lips when she saw Negan standing in her bedroom at her dresser. There was something he was holding in his fingertips and when his eyes met hers, she could see the anger that was there.
Turning the Polaroid that he had in his fingers, she could see that it was the photo that Negan had taken of them on her birthday that he had given her. It was something that she had kept on the mirror of her dresser to remind her of a day when she felt happy and hopeful about her future. Negan lifted his other hand and showed that he had the keychain he had given her that he had originally thrown in the dirt wrapped around his middle finger.
“I’m just not your type, huh?” Negan dropped what he was holding and swiftly moved forward to reach for her. She attempted to move, but he grabbed a tight hold of her and wrapped his arms around her from behind so she couldn’t escape. “You’re so fucking full of shit. I fucking hurt your feelings and you let me rot in that cell for six years because of it. When this whole fucking time you were still fucking in love with me.”
“Negan,” she whimpered feeling his hand wrapping around her mouth to keep her quiet. The way she struggled and he fought her back made her panic. How had Negan escaped his cell? Her eyes met Negan’s in the mirror of her dresser set. With his buzzed hair and the angry way his eyebrows were arched, he looked like a completely different man to her.
“I would have never left you to rot like that,” Negan growled against the side of her neck. Before he could do anything further the sound of her bedroom door being pushed open was heard and Negan looked over his shoulder.
“Mom?” a voice filled the air and Negan lifted his eyes to see a young girl standing at the door holding a teddy bear in her arms. The sight of the little girl made Negan let her go and when he did she immediately moved for her daughter. “What’s going on?”
“Mommy’s friend was just playing with her,” she hushed her daughter looking back at Negan who was staring out at them together. There was apprehension in her daughter’s body while she stared out at Negan with big eyes. “Baby, you need to go back to your bedroom, okay? Mommy will come see you in the morning.”
“What’s your name sweetheart?” Negan called out and Y/N shot him a glare. Ignoring it, Negan stepped forward and stared down at the young girl. There was something in the way her bright hazel eyes were staring up at him that made him let out a tense breath.
“Riley,” she answered him and Negan’s eyebrows bounced up. Kneeling down, Negan tilted his head to the side and surveyed over Y/N’s daughter.  
“How old are you sweetheart?” Negan looked between Y/N and Riley. There was an expression that made Y/N uncomfortable as she stepped forward to move in behind Riley to make sure her presence was known between Negan and her daughter.
“Nine,” Riley answered and Negan’s eyes hooked with Y/N’s. Negan reached out to place his hand in over the young girl’s shoulder. There was a new expression over Negan’s features that she couldn’t quite read. “Who are you?”
“My name is Negan. Does that name mean anything to you?” Negan questioned and Riley looked up to Y/N for some kind of confirmation that she should know who Negan was. “Tell me Riley, who is your daddy here?”
“Baby go to your bedroom,” Y/N ordered, interrupting the two of them before Negan could go any further with this discussion. Riley was confused, but she clutched tightly to her bear and nodded. As Riley moved for the door, Negan stood up and Y/N pushed her hands into Negan’s chest to keep him where he was. “I love you sweetheart.”
“I love you too mommy,” Riley whispered and her big eyes looked between Negan and Y/N before leaving the two of them alone.
Once Y/N was sure that Riley was in her room, she turned on her heel to look back at Negan and his face scrunched up in anger, “That’s my fucking daughter. She looks just like me. How could you keep my child from me?”
“Oh no, it could never be your child Negan. Remember? You can’t have babies. You’re infertile,” she reminded Negan seeing the way his jaw locked up when she said that, folding her arms in front of her chest. Negan moved over toward her bed and sat on the corner of the bed. “Fuck you Negan. You told me the first time I slept with you that you were infertile. So we didn’t have to worry about you pulling out.”
“So maybe I didn’t know for sure, but I assumed because we tried for so long and I just knew that it never happened,” Negan admitted, his eyes heavy with regret when he threw his hands up in the air. “Why did you leave The Sanctuary if you were pregnant?”
“I tried to tell you that I was pregnant, but instead you called me fat and then put me on the points system so I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself,” she snapped making Negan release a loud gulping sound. “I ran away in hopes of finding something better because you wouldn’t fucking listen. When I’m hiding in the woods I hear Simon talking about you killing me and putting me on the fence…”
“I wouldn’t have killed you and put you on the fence,” Negan rolled his eyes when he heard her say that and she snorted. “Simon was a fucking idiot. One I killed, but…”
“What do you want Negan? You know if they find out that you escaped the cell, then they are going to kill you,” she informed him, her eyes looking him over seeing that he was still in his prison clothes. “Why are you here?”
“After being locked away for six years, you tend to hold grudges and want answers as to why you leave someone rotting in a cell. Then I come up here and see that you still have that fucking keychain I got you for your birthday and have that photo of the two of us…” Negan growled, his eyes rising to hers and he shook his head slowly. “You loved me still and you let me rot in that cell. Knowing that you had my daughter…”  
“You were bullshitting me Negan. Telling me that you loved me,” she reminded him and Negan gave her a sideways glance. “You didn’t love me. You never loved me.”
“That’s not true, okay? I did love you, but I genuinely just ignorantly thought we were best friends. I didn’t think about what I was doing to you,” Negan responded, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “The more I thought about it, the more obvious it became to me how stupid I actually was. I totally was falling in love with you and then Sherry followed me to that fucking room and I thought about how long I had been pining for her. I wanted her so bad and there she was offering it and I took it. It was wrong. It was awful and I should have told her no. If I would have…I think things would have been so different.”
“Well we can’t turn back time,” she frowned, her eyes looking down toward the ground and she watched Negan stand up from the bed. Slowly, he walked across the room to her and reached out to cup her face in his rough hands. Negan’s eyes were hooked on hers and it seemed like he was attempting to kiss her, but she turned her head away from him. “Don’t.”
“Y/N, I think this is a sign that we should be together. I’ve always wanted a child. I know I feel special feelings toward you and I know you feel the same,” Negan reasoned with her and he could see that her eyes were tearing over while she stared out at him. “Maybe we deserve the chance to start over. The three of us.”
“She deserves better than you,” Y/N muttered and Negan released a hurt sound when she was obviously talking about Riley, “And so do I. I would love to pretend that nothing happened, but the people here would tell Riley. They would let her know who her father was and what he did. And I’ll always remember the things you said to me.”
“I’m leaving. We should all get out of here,” Negan suggested, reaching for her hands to give them a firm squeeze. “I know what I did and I’m sorry, but you have to understand…”
“I get why you did it Negan, I just…I can’t,” her bottom lip quivered and Negan could feel his chest aching as she stood before him. “Of course I’ll always love you, but I have to think about Riley and what’s best for her. And that’s not you.”
“Well…damn,” Negan responded, absolutely gutted with what she was saying. Stepping back, he brushed his hand over his head and then tossed his hands up in the air. “I guess this is goodbye then.”
“Where are you going?” she inquired as he moved toward the door to leave and he stopped to look over his shoulder at her.
“I thought about looking at The Sanctuary. See how things are there,” Negan pushed his hands into his pockets and he looked down toward the ground. When she nodded, Negan attempted to leave before stopping again. “What would make you change your mind about me? What could I do that would make you give me a chance?”
“You’re you Negan, you couldn’t change,” she saw his eyebrows furrow and she shrugged her shoulders. The look Negan gave her showed that he was miserable with what she had said. When he headed to leave again, she called out to him and he looked over his shoulder at her. “I’m sorry. No one should have had to go through what you did those eight years, but I was scared. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” Negan stood there for a moment longer before she watched him walk away and she felt her heart breaking.
More than anything in the past she had wanted Negan to love her and to be with him. But after eight years she knew that it was wrong to want to be with him. Yes, she loved him, but knowing the baggage that follows him, she knew it was best for both her and her daughter if he wasn’t in their lives. When the sound of the front door opening and closing was heard, she let out a sad sound and reached for the photo that Negan had dropped on the floor.
Holding the photograph, she wished that things could go back to the way things were before, but she knew better and she knew that this was the best possible decision she could make. No matter how much it hurt.
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blackbat05 · 3 years
Text
I need a break
Shangqi x Reader (Platonic) 
A/N: I feel like I’m loosing steam towards the end of my placement and wow I have never needed a break this badly before. Perhaps a short Shangqi x Reader imagine where they are both University students. Seriously at this rate I’ll just be solely a Shangqi writer HAHAHA. Doing this on my phone because I don’t want to open my work computer. Let’s see where this impromptu idea takes me to. Hope you enjoy it and as always like and comment if you wish!
Genre: PG-13
Warnings: None really, just friends supporting each other! I guess there’s an inaccurate timeline if you look at the MCU but hey this is an imagine plus if you look at some of the wiki pages, Shangqi is actually born in 1998/1999. So appreciate if you’re kind enough to go with the flow to read this comfort fic! 
‘Y/N!’ Shangqi rushes to catch up with you after class. You made an effort to conceal your tiredness but he saw it right through. ‘Gosh…you alright?’
You think to yourself. Were you really alright? The answer was pretty obvious. You were ten weeks into your placement and your emotions were a jumbled up mess. Having to deal with work responsibilities was one problem, school assignments were another issue all together. At this point, you felt like you were just getting through each week for the sake of it.
At first, you believed that what you were going through was simply a transition to becoming an adult. You thought that naturally, you would be able to persevere through the stressful periods by yourself. But of course, it has been hard.
You were a social work intern at a neighborhood youth centre, thirty minutes away if you took the train and bus. The work was fulfilling in it’s own ways, but recently there were self-doubts filling your brain, if you were really cut out for the job in the future. If you weren’t, what else could you do?
As you sat with Shangqi in the school’s student-ran cafe, you found yourself pouring out the exact same concerns to him. Credit to him, Shangqi never interrupted your monologue, he just simply listened. That’s what best friends were for. That’s what you did for him to when he ran into issues with his family.
Even then, he couldn’t deny that hearing you doubt yourself broke his heart. He had known you since high school. You mostly kept to yourself and one or two close friends. Despite joining the school’s athletic team where you were one of the main athletes, you preferred to stay in the shadows unlike some of your teammates. That didn’t stop you from going out of your way to help other students in need; like helping the girl who was in an arm cast to copy the social studies notes, even if it meant you had to do it twice. Or maybe just talking to a friend who was stressed out about their results.
Basically, you had studied your ass off to get a secured spot at this university who were only one of the few that offered the degree. He remembers you telling him the moment you got your offer, ‘I’m finally good at something. I don’t have to worry anymore!’
Shangqi wasn’t stupid. The pandemic had done some crazy things. And by crazy, it affected the self-esteem that you had been working so hard on by participating in various projects and events, with you being in charge of a drama production that was promoting on mental health. That was a big deal considering that you were a major introvert.
Online engagement was never easy. In fact he has heard some of your struggles that you’ve shared with him regarding this and it only makes him admire you even more. For someone who preferred to keep to themselves, stepping out of one’s comfort zone, to take on a role that wasn’t just simply about helping people - that took guts.
‘I’m sorry I’m just loading you with all this. I just feel…’ You trailed off, suddenly becoming emotional again. Again, Shangqi does not pry. ‘That I can’t do anything right.’ You emphasize that you had ended the statement for you were unsure that you could keep your cool if you had tried to continue on.
‘If I hear you saying sorry another time,’ he chides, ‘you’re paying for our meal later.’ Your lips curved upwards slightly before returning to its somber position. Shangqi decides that a meal won’t cut it. He needs to deploy ‘Operation Y/N’. Standing up with your buzzer to collect the food, Shangqi whips out his phone. There will be a few changes for today.
Food was definitely a cure in this situation, but it was only a part of the solution. After inhaling your ramen at light speed, Shangqi tells you that today will be a different Friday. ‘And you can’t complain! It’ll be a weekend tmr,’ he tells you. So why not? You figured that even if you went back home early, your head wouldn’t be in the right place to complete the essay for your English module.
‘Hold up! The VR studio that Katy was talking about?’ You look at the tickets inside the taxi that was taking you and Shangqi to the location. ‘How did you even, it was so hard to get these tickets!’ From the time Shangqi met you outside the classroom, he had yet to see you so ecstatic. Until now.
‘Well,’ Shangqi gives his best shrug. ‘I called in a favor from a friend. Said that it was for emergency purposes.’ He raised his fingers to make connotations in the air much to your amusement.
‘Wow… just how much do I not know about you Mr Popular?’ You teased. Shangqi decides to leave the fact on him having to persuade the Wakandan Princess in giving him free tickets.
‘Please! I swear whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it! It’s for Y/N!’
‘Ey well why didn’t you say so? If it’s for that nice friend, of course!’ Shuri leaves the entrance of the compound, an exasperated Shangqi trailing behind.
Yeah, the VR studio that Katy told them about was also funded by King T’Challa himself. With stunning life like visuals thanks to Wakandan technology, the VR studio was located in a middle class neighborhood. T’Challa believed that no matter where kids came from, they should have the right to enjoy and to explore the world. For now, he wasn’t ready to share that he was on the way on becoming a full-fledged Avenger yet - you just had too much on your plate. He’ll just have to settle with this white lie.
‘Is Katy coming?’ You were on the verge of vibrating off your seat. ‘She would love this place!’ Even when you were struggling, Y/N still manages to think about other people. Today, Y/N will put her needs first.
As if to answer your previous question, you can see an equally excited Katy waiting for the two of you at the roundabout. ‘HEL-LO EVERYONE! LET’S GET OUR FRIDAY STARTED IN PROPER SHALL WE?’ Her loud voice had attracted stares, some very displeased looks too but at this point in time, you didn’t give a damn. Katy was right, it was time to enjoy!
You wished that you could slow down time, or even replay it continuously when you needed cheering up because the only thing you felt was pure happiness - euphoria even. Your stomach was in knots for laughing hysterically together with Katy when Shangqi jumped in shock from a surprise scare from a zombie. ‘I’m keeping that for leverage,’ she tells you, quietly slipping her phone into her fanny pack. 
The Wakandans had really outdone themselves this time. Your favorite VR was the paradise VR. Slipping the headgear, you say goodbye to the smiles of Katy and Shangqi, whisking away to a beach that oddly reminded you of your dream destination - Hawaii. From where you were standing, you were surrounded by green and majestic islands. Despite their sheer size, you weren’t intimidated. In fact, you were healing. 
Your mind was no longer in the room of the VR studio. How could it when the sun kissed your skin, giving you the much needed energy that you were lacking for so long? In the room, the two sees you kick your shoes to the side, going barefoot. It may have seem strange, but with the monitor beside you, your actions were perfectly logical. 
As a kid, you used to despise the prickly feeling of sand in between your toes. But now, you grew to love the sensation that each grain of sand had on your skin. It made you feel grounded, that everything was going to be ok. You raise your virtual hand to touch your face - were you crying? 
‘She must have been really stressed huh?’ Katy whispers to Shangqi who nods in return. How he hated the fact that you were giving so much to your work but still felt underappreciated. Forget the Avengers with superhuman abilities, you were the true MVP. The VR ends and you remove your headgear. ‘I’m ok,’ you automatically reassure them despite the dry tears left on both cheeks. You step down the platform slowly, trying to regain sense of the real world. 
What you didn’t expect was the two embracing you in a hug, squishing you in between them. Maybe that had set off the waterworks. For someone like Katy, she had sage advice.
‘Life can be pretty shitty right? But I’m so proud of you fighting it Y/N. Just remember that it’s ok to be weak. I mean, I’ve seen worse from Shangqi,’ she jabs her finger towards his direction, earning a glare from him. That’s Katy, always trying to add a bit of humor to this grey world. Calming down, you let go of the both of them. ‘Thanks guys, for everything.’ 
‘Hey,’ Shangqi responds, slinging his arm over your shoulder. ‘We’re friends, so we don’t leave each other behind.’ Phone beeping, he retrieves it to check the message. ‘And look at that, nice timing. Who wants Korean BBQ?’ 
Trailing behind them, you get an amusing view of Shangqi bickering with Katy on how many Soju bottles she’s allowed to order later. As San Francisco welcomed the night, you were just thankful that you had the two of them to walk through this crazy maze called life. 
‘Last one to the shop is paying!’ 
‘Oh you’re on Mister!’  
A/N: I really just think that this was also an imagine for me to cope too. So I can only hope to finish my placement/assignments/exams well! To anyone who does studies and work simultaneously, I fucking respect you (allow me to use expletives for now, these people deserve the respect). If you’re going through a stressful time, I hope this brings the slightest comfort for you and remember… YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Again, thank you for reading! 
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Text
"Drama at S" ~ Cherry Blossom x reader x Joe
words: 1.8k
You ran up to the gate out of breath and pulled down your hood, showing your badge to the people at the gate.
You had gotten caught up with work and rushed off once you realized that S was about to start, grabbing your rollerblades you skated off to meet your friends. Seeing a group of bright-haired people waving you over,
“Hey Y/N! You’re just in time!”
Reki called over to you and gave you a high five, Langa fist-bumping you as well. “Hi, guys! I’m glad I didn’t miss anything! I got off work a bit late, I thought I wasn’t going to make it.” You laughed and spotted Miya invested in his phone, looking up and waving at you, smiling. Skating over and handing him a portable battery,
“I know you always lose power during these matches, so here’s my portable charger! I brought it in case my phone died but luckily it didn’t.” “Oh, thanks! Ready for the beef? I heard it's going to be awesome!”
Agreeing you talked with the group, hearing the crowd around you loudly cheer and shout for someone. You were still relatively new to S, since you had started dating two of the skaters here and met the group that you came to know and love.
It was always a fun time whenever you came and it was certainly never dull, your two lovers competing for your attention.
“Look! It’s Cherry and Joe!”
“Ah! They’re here!”
“Tonights going to be awesome! Maybe we’ll see them skate!”
“They’re both gorgeously stunning as always! When are they not?!”
The last comment made you roll your eyes. You couldn't help but agree, they were both hopelessly attractive and you couldn't help but wonder why they chose to date you of all people. Of course you weren't complaining, but your self confidence wasn’t in the best shape.
You saw both of them spot your group and skate over, jumping off their boards to greet all of you. “Hi everyone, did we miss anything?” Reki and Langs shook their heads, Miya perking up and grabbing his board to talk with the group.
Kojiro turned his head to you and pulled you towards him, “Hey baby, glad you could make it. You look beautiful as always. Miss me?”
“Of course, I’d never miss this. We just saw each other earlier, how could you miss me already?” You laughed as he kissed your cheek, shyly turning away when the others made noises at your PDA.
“Well it’s hard not to when I want to be by your side 24/7.”
Feeling another hand on your shoulder, giving you another kiss on the opposite and his light pink hair coming into view, “I hate to agree with the dopey gorilla but our lover is right. How could we not want to spend as much time with you as possible when you’re perfect for us.”
You stood in between them and smiled with excitement, “Fair, you two are hard to stay away from. Maybe I’ll have to visit you both more.” They smiled and wrapped an arm around your waist. The others began to talk about who was going to race and how pumped they were.
Langa was giving Reki advice with Miya pitching in occasionally about a move that he’s taught the red head earlier. Not missing the quick peck that Langa gave him and seeing Reki’s face blush a bit, scanning the area to see if anyone saw.
Shadow was tuning his skateboard, making sure everything was in shape and chatting with your boyfriends.
You admired how Kaoru always looked perfect wherever he was and his long pink hair pulled back, his black mask covering his face and highlighting his gold eyes. Looking over at Kojiro, as per usual not wearing a shirt for some reason and showing off his body and tattoo, which never failed to fluster you and even still when you thought you had gotten used to it.
Both of them went together perfectly and matched each other like soulmates, despite the arguing that always ensued. You loved them both dearly and yet you still doubted your place in the relationship.
Which evidently was the only thing they agreed on, was that you belonged in their relationship and they wouldn't be the same without you. Leaning your head against Kojiro’s arm and closing your eyes contently, feeling him hum and rub your arm,
This was of course interrupted by a loud band from across the way, shocking you all and making you jump a bit, moving closer to Kaoru and Kojio. There was one person you were warned about by everyone and judging by everyone’s facing you were about to meet him,
“What a wonderful turnout! It seems we have a new face that little group brought, hm?” Reki stood closer to Langa and Miya moved closer to you three and Shadow, everyone seemingly being on guard. You saw the blue haired man skate towards you and circle you all, your lovers moving in front of you and anger painted on their faces.
He stopped in front of you and stepped off his board, closing the distance between you both but Cherry stepping in front of you,
“Step away before you start something you can’t finish.” “Oh! Someone special to you I’m guessing. Now I have to learn more~”
Joe stepped up next to Kaoru, “Trust me when he says that. We’re not letting you mess with them. Back off.” Miya moved closer to you and you put an arm around him, hugging teen. You knew about what had happened to him with Adam and needless to say you were pissed. Seeing Reki, Langa and Shadow move closer to the other two, you squeezed Miya tighter and stood your ground,
Adam frowned, “Okay, okay. I get it, they're important to you all. Well, I guess tonight’s not my night.” He went to skate away but turned back, “I will skate with you little mystery”
You shivered and looked down at Miya, shooting him a smile and pushed off towards the others, “So, that’s the creepy fucker that you warned me about. Yeah, I can see why,” Laughing nervously as the other shook off what happened and tried to enjoy the rest of your night.
After a couple matches you saw people whispering and pointing at you. Some of the girls and some guys gave you jealous looks as you scooted towards your boyfriends, trying to brush off the anxiety that now crawled up your back.
Kaoru noticed and gave you a look, silently asking what was wrong. You motioned to the other people staring at you and he looked around, seeing what you meant. Whispering in your ear,
“Don’t worry, darling, they're just jealous of us, but you’re ours. We’d have to be idiots to leave you. I mean look at you, this beautiful body and those luscious hips.” He laughed and continued, “ Hearing that voice cry out in pleasure when you climax on us, nothing could beat that divine sound~”
Instead of simply talking down your anxiety, Cherry leaned down and put a hand on the back of your neck, kissing you.
You made a noise of shock because this was the last thing you expected him to do but in hindsight it should have been on your radar. Closing your eyes and returning the kiss, hearing the people gasp and whisper around you even more.
He moved his hand, cupping your cheek and passionately deepened the kiss. Kaoru’s eyes open, adoring your blissful expression, no longer full of anxiety and flicking his attention to his lover. By now Kojiro had noticed people murmuring to themselves and getting whipped up, turning around to see what the big deal was,
“Hey!” He met Cherry’s eye and noticed the playfulness in his eyes, saying ‘come on, I dare you’. Chuckling to himself and stepping up the challenge. Pulling his boyfriend away from you and smirking, “Really think you could keep them all to yourself, four eyes? You should know how to share by now.”
You still were against Cherry with a hand around your waist, seeing his eyes flick to yours and then the crowd eagerly watching you. Getting the message, Joe’s gaze met yours and he pulled you against his chest, feeling his warm tan skin against your hands.
“Oh, so that’s what’s going on. I’m sorry baby, I thought you knew.” He lifted your chin with his fingers and closed the gap between you two so that you could feel his breath against your lips, “Let me make it clear to you,”
Kojiro kissed you softly and pulled you against him tighter, you wrapped your arms around his neck since he was so tall. Leaning in and returning the kiss immediately, running your hands through his short soft hair. You broke away for air and hid your face in your boyfriend's chest, a heavy blush covering your face.
Your lovers laughed at the disgusted responses from the teens and turned their attention to you. Some of the crowd started excitedly whispering amongst each other and you heard some chatter about how you all looked cute together and others expressed jealousy at both of them being taken by someone they’d never seen before. It didn’t matter to you as you tried to recover from what just happened and stared at the ground, your roller blades shifting back and forth from your small movements.
“Well, I never expected you both to do that.” They laughed again and pulled you between them, continuing to talk with the others.
As the night progressed you were talking to Reki about some of the skaters that had beefs with each other and how they each used a different technique to advance. You heard a buzzer go off and realized most people had already left, luckily including Adam.
You went to say goodbye to the red and blue teens and Miya who went to give back the portable charger, thanking you and saying his farewell as well. Going to put your headphones in and skate off, you saw that Shadow had already left, apparently having to help his coworker with something.
Kojiro and Kaoru were talking near the entrance, pausing when you came over, “Guess it’s time to say goodbye, huh?” They shared a look and the pink haired calligrapher spoke up,
“Kojiro had quite an idea and I thought it was wonderful as well. What do you say?” “Okay, sure. But what is it?”
Cherry took your hand and pulled you along, Joe skating next to you, “That is for us to know and you to find out, sweetheart.” Smiling as you pull ahead, they race behind you as you all head back to your shared home.
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clarissalance · 3 years
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Wolves
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Pairing: Kaeya x fem!Reader, Diluc, Crepus
Warning: minor swearing, cheesy flirt, dry humour
Summary: All men are wolves.
A/N: Muahaha I have came back and brought you the blatant cheesy flirt. Welcome to the first lesson of flirting with Kaeya. Lol, guess who is coming next? 
Also, I’m planning to write a wind-trace fic because the game is so fun. (p/s: I waste 3 hours playing it) Guess who is in it? 
Okay, the first fic for my lover boy. Please give Kaeya a lot of love!! (* ̄3 ̄)╭ 
Another beautiful day, another day of wasting the lovely weather to stay inside the study room, bury your head into the pile of books next to you. You let your eyes wander to the window again, gazing rays of light fleeting through the window, golden hues on the wooden floor. Tiny specks of dust accumulate overnight, fluttering around the curtain. Outside, the chirping birds bathing under the sun, casually chilling on the window. Oh, how you wish you would be able to relax like those carefree animals.  
“You might burn the birds crips the longer you stare at it.” Startled by the quiet voice, your head snaps toward the blue-haired teenage direction, and you can’t help but scowl at his statement. You can’t be the only person in the room who wants to go out and play. Knowing Kaeya, he’s definitely trying to find an excuse to end the class early. 
The only person who is diligent, hard-working, and does not have thought about leaving this room is the young master Diluc. The young man is sitting opposite you, eyes burning holes on the thick textbook. 
Archon, how can a 16 years old overly enthusiastic person like him enjoy the excitement of reading Descartes philosophy? Maybe he is the only child in Mondstadt, no, maybe in the whole Teyvat who enjoys something torturous like that. Shivering at your own thought, you shift your chair closer to Kaeya, giving Diluc a terror gaze.      
“Aren’t you going to finish the essay?” Pointing at the half-full parchment on the table, you ask. “ Diluc and I already finish it.” 
“ Oh, how do I know? How am I suppose to understand Kant and Descartes theories, and then link them to deductive and inductive reasoning?"  Kaeya lets his finger running through the silky blue hair and pulls them out of frustration. On the other side, Diluc shoots him a glare, annoyed by his brother complaint. 
 “How did you guys do it?” Kaeya asks boredly, his finger pokes the quill. 
You put your hand under your chin, beaming him charmingly.  “ You know Kaeya, it is something I call improvisation. Words just flow out of my tip.” Under your lashes, you can see his cheek dusting pink. Cute! 
“ Just read the books, and you will get it.” Diluc unhelpful adds. 
Both of you stare at red-head incredulously. Is he being serious? 
Like always, Kaeya knows he can not take your advice to heart. One is a genius, and the other is just pure luck.  
Suddenly, the door is burst open, and you quickly shove your feet into the shoes, eyes darting to see the intruder. Internally, you hope that person is not lady Elizabeth, your etiquette teacher. Your blood runs cold at the thought. You can already imagine her sharp tones commenting how horrendous and un-ladylike your act is. 
“How is your study going?” A deep, strong voice booming from the back, and finally, you get let out a breath. Diluc looks up from his book, beams brightly at the man. 
“ We are done with homework, father. These are just extra reading.” Well, for the record, these are his extra readings, not yours. And Kaeya hasn’t finished his 2 feet scrolls of essay yet. 
Master Crepus nods in satisfaction. “ If that is finished, you kids can take a break. The young lady from the Gunnhildr family is here with her father. Maybe you can give her some accompanies.”  The middle-aged man directs the words at you, maybe feeling guilty for leaving a young lady like you in his two sons care. 
Your parents left you in the Ragnvindr care every Summer because of their hectic schedules and frequent business trips at this time of the year. In addition, your mother says it is essential for you to have good relationships with the heir of Ragnvindr and his brother. “Maybe you will need their help someday.” She left it vaguely. 
“ Are you guys going to drink again?” Kaeya suspiciously questions, his eyes glinting with playfulness. 
“ Hey, what’s wrong with men having a drink together?” Crepus defensively retorts, notices how Diluc gives him a disproving gaze.
“ When you guys grow up, you would enjoy it too.” The three let out opposing noises, clearly not having the same idea as him. The man waves dismissively return back the topic. 
“ Let’s come down to greet the head of Gunnhildr first.” He heads toward the door, down the hallway.   
“And be nice to the young lady, boys.” The master emphasizes the phrase, his eyes pinning at the guilty-looking Kaeya and the absent-minded Diluc. Finally, he exits the room, not forgetting to close the door. 
“ Father says as if we don’t treat people nicely.” Kaeya pouts, right after Crepus footstep drifting away from the study. “ The workers never complain anything about our behaviours, right Luc?” 
Sitting next to him, you can't help but let out a snort. He dares to say that? Kaeya raises eyebrows at you, annoyed by your shaking shoulder. The boy in red has a blank face, maybe not interested. 
“ First, you guys ignore me for 2 weeks when I just came here.” You burst out in laughter, recalling back at the very first memory when you just arrived here.
“When I tried to approach, you both avoided me like the plague.” Your whole body is shaking vigorously, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. This is too hilarious! Somewhere in between, you can spot Diluc burning cheek. 
“ Haha, and haha-later,” You can hardly breath, laughter bubbling up. “Adeline told me your reason is ‘It's b-because she doesn’t have a willie.' ” Dramatically air-quoting, you even imitate their stuttering childish voices. This earns you a pointed glare from Diluc and a smack in the arm from Kaeya, but a good laugh is always worth it. 
Both of them freeze on their tracks, faces puff red as tomatoes, steaming almost coming off their ears. If the young heir is to wear a red suit, you are sure he can blend in well with the mansion roof. 
Diluc shifts stiffly in his chair and abruptly stands up, heading toward the exit. Maybe he is too embarrassed at the mention of his dark childhood. 
“Where-haha, are you going, Luc?” You are still in the middle of your giggling, noticing how Diluc is dashing to the door. Letting out a coughing fit, he quietly mumbles. 
 “ I'm going down to greet the Gunnhildr family.” His figure vanishes right behind the door, not letting you tease him further. Outside, the painful sound of Diluc tripping on his own feet make you almost fall off your chair. You have too many good laughs today. 
“Right, I-I should get going too.” Next to you, the blazing Kaeya remembers to dig a hole and hide. His hand slams hard on the table and the youthful teenager stands up, gracefully heading toward the door. Maybe he wants to avoid becoming another joke.  
" Ah, wait-" You follow instantly, but the moment you stand up, something slips, and the next thing you know, the ground is shaking, and you see the ceiling is getting further. 
Your first instinct is to grab the closest object, and then close your eyes, waiting for the painful impact with your head. Clench your jaw tightly, and you hold your breath, hoping it will hurt less if you tense your body. 
Right after tensing up, you feel someone just grab you by your shoulder, and your feet step on something bumpy. And then, your head makes an impact with something hard. A grunting is followed. 
Heart hammering in your chest, you cautiously peek, expecting yourself to see the ceiling, but instead, greet with an unusual sight. A pair of dark colour trouser paired with leather shoes. On top of it is your feet, loosely wore low heel is stepping on that leather shoes. Shit, you stepped on Kaeya. In a panic, you rush down from his painful sore feet, but your head jams in his ribs. He just let out another woeful sound.   
This time, you carefully keep your position in place, slowly remove each foot one by one, moving away from him. Craning your neck upward, you finally meet his gaze, his eyes are full of concern and uneasiness, spooked out by your sudden incident.
 “Did you hit your head hard?” Kaeya asks you nervously, his voice laced with anxiety. He must have been terrified when you slip. You shake your head, hands grabbing his shirt.
" I should be asking you that. Are you okay?" You give him a worrying gaze, your fingers running along his ribs, checking if your stone head broke anything. " I didn't break anything, right?" Hesitantly, you look into his deep blue eyes, noticing the diamond shape. Has he always has this in his eyes? 
Kaeya snorts inelegantly, shakes his head. " Your head is hard as a rock, but that much can't break my ribs yet." This earns him a hit on his arm. 
"Hey! I'm trying to be considerate, and this is how you treat me?" You jab him, hand purposely smack his chest, but he doesn't budge an inch. How strong is this guy? This time, you put all the force on your arm, slapping hard on his chest again. The young man in the blues shoot you a shit-eating grin, clearly not faze.  
 "How is my chest feeling?" He pokes, his palm engulfing yours. 
" Too hard for my liking." You give him a complex look, trying to escape from his tight grip but fail miserably. You wiggle your hand again, shaking off his iron clad. Why is he so strong? 
While you are attempting to flee from his firm grasp, the young man leans down, face an inch away from you. Flushing at the sudden closure, like usual,  you avoid his burning gaze. You hold your breath when your noses almost touch. What is this rascal doing again? 
" You shouldn't be touching men like that." Kaeya opens his mouth, saying something completely out of nowhere. You tilt your head in confusion, while your eyes travel down, you notice your hands still on his chest. O-oh, so he is saying about this. 
" I  don't normally touch random people." You mumble defensively, your eyes lower. " I was checking for your injury."
"They will misunderstand." Kaeya cuts in right after, not accepting the excuse. But why would they misunderstand? You are just being nice, right? 
Like he can understand what is going inside your mind, Kaeya reminds you.
"All men are wolves, you should be more be careful with them."   
You give him a confusing look. 
Kaeya is not one of them, right? 
Eventually, he let out a soft sigh and moves back, allowing you to savour your personal space. Just right after your throbbing heart finally calms down, he brings your tight-griped hand in his to his face. Your meet with his alluring look in his eyes. It is pulling you in, telling you to give in the temptation. Plump lips brush your knuckle teasingly, he blows a warm breath on the back of your hand. He gives you a saccharine smile.
" And if not be careful." His husky voice ringing in your ears, the numbing spark runs along your spine. "They might devour you." 
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dreamkidddream · 3 years
Note
Requests are open again hihi as a member of Kunikida and Oda deserve all the love club, I MUST request the scenario 6 with Kunikida, LIKE, LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING HE WOULD DO and never admit it
Thanks for this club haha, love your works and I am so happy we can ask for it again 🥺
The “Kunikida and Oda deserve all the love and affection because they do” club is steady growing and we love to see it 😌🙏🏾 and YES Kunikida will 100% do this no hesitation even if he’s complaining the whole time lol and thanks for reading my works and for all the love 🥺💚💙 reader is gender neutral!
TW: mentions of undressing (Okay it’s not spicy/suggestive, he’s just being a good boyfriend so that you can get in the shower 🥺 no body parts/nothing graphic is mentioned but I still wanted to put a TW!)
Prompt Scenario: “Person A having a broken leg and Person B has to carry them up and down the stairs to their bedroom every night/morning.” with Kunikida!
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This sucks.
You didn’t think that your injury would be this bad, but here you are. One that left you completely immobile.
Okay you’re exaggerating, but you could only do so much being stuck in this bed!
The white cast surrounding your broken leg (although filled with doodles by Naomi, Dazai, Ranpo, and the others), baring as a constant reminder of your mistake. It just took one misstep and a nasty fall down the stairs that left your leg bending in an angle that it definitely wasn’t suppose to be. While Yosano happily offered her services to heal, you weren’t necessarily ready to go through with that process yet. Besides, now you can somewhat laze around and not get shot at for once!
That was your first thought initially.
You got bored and lonely fast.
With Kunikida having to go to work, and you still being monitored in the hospital, you could only do so much for your entertainment. The food wasn’t the greatest, you flipped through all the channels at least three times in the last hour, and you missed sharing the bed with your lover.
You really miss him, and you’re starting to take up Yosano’s offer...
But, you couldn’t contain your fidgeting in the bed today after hearing the good news.
You’re finally getting released from this prison today! You can finally get to breathe in some fresh air, and not the stale one that’s been circling in your room for past couple of days. With the addition of seeing your boyfriend, who you know for a fact misses you just as much as you do, (and maybe even more).
—-
So coming home came with some setbacks.
Mainly the stairs that started all of this mess to begin with.
Kunikida was already cooking dinner, which you offered to help, but he just demanded asked that you sit down and let your leg rest. In your absence, he’s written down almost all of the medical advice on broken legs known to man and is determined to be the best caretaker for you. You couldn’t just sit around forever, and you’re ready to be in your pajamas, to get underneath your own covers, and to cuddle with your partner whose warmth you have been missing for the past couple of days.
You got crutches to use, and you’re 100% sure that you can hobble your way up the stairs and make it to the bedroom in one piece this time. You just have to have patience and take your time, just take one step at a time, and you should be okay! If you could just control your shaking grip on your crutches, and get your good leg to become steady enough to stand on the first step, then you can-
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Your foot barely hovered over the step before you felt his presence behind you. You could practically feel the anger radiating off of him, no doubt the look on his face being a mix of anger and disappointment.
When you turned around, you were proven correct. Kunikida’s brows were furrowing deeper and deeper the longer you stayed in this compromising position, and you would have laughed seeing him wearing your shared apron if you didn’t see his hold on the spatula tightening each second. “Um, well, I was going to-”
“Go up the very stairs that left you like this, unsupervised.”
Surprisingly, he’s still intimidating, even in the “This cook accepts cleaned plates AND kisses as payment” apron.
“Well, I’m-I’m being extra careful! I can’t not go into our bedroom. I sleep there too you know.” You laughed, but the situation became even more awkward when he wasn’t laughing with you.
“You just got back home and already about to put yourself in harm’s way again, and we haven’t even ate yet!”
You started to panic more when he untied the apron and took off his glasses.
You just accepted your fate whenever he approached you again, slowly easing yourself down and preparing yourself to be chewed out and in for a lengthy lecture that’ll probably leave you falling asleep on the steps soon enough-
Until he kneeled down in front of you, back turned.
Okay you’re confused.
You’re just staring at his back, wondering what exactly he’s doing. Is this suppose to be symbolic message or something? Is this his way of saying that he’s giving you the silent treatment-
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“The schedule is already off, and since you’re just so ready to jump ahead, we might as well get it over with. If it’ll make you listen and not be so irrational, then fine.”
It still isn’t clicking for you-
“Hurry up and get on already! We don’t have all night!”
Ohhhh, he wants you to get on...his back? However, judging by the red spreading to the tips of his ears, that’s what he wants. You would tease him, but your heart is too busy melting at the fact that he would do this for you. “Doppo, you don’t have to do this-”
“I do. If you think that you’re going near any of these steps without me, then you’re sorely mistaken. Not to mention how hard it will be for you to maneuver around, so I do need to do this. So, go ahead, before we get more behind schedule.”
You’re still on the brink of refusing him, but he does have a point; it’s going to be a little difficult trying to move around with this. You also recognized that this is one of his ways of showing that he cares, and wants to help you through this. Kunikida has always been someone that will truly help when you need it, even if you don’t ask for it. He may complain about it being “extra work”, but you know that he doesn’t mean it, and will do it again in a heartbeat if needed be.
It’s just one of the many reasons why you love him so much.
Plus, this is probably one of the only times you’ll be able to get a piggyback ride without begging, so why not?
It wasn’t difficult to get on his back, especially since he’s handling you like you’re so fragile (which you guess you are right now). It was funny, you both know what you’re capable of but yet he’s always so gentle with you, but it’s never to the point that he’s degrading or belittling.
“(Y/N)?”
“Hm?”
“Do you remember what I told you when we first started dating?”
“Of course, I can never forget it!”
“The day that I confessed to you, I told you that I will always take care of you. That I would do my best to keep you safe, to protect you, and I already failed you.” His tone became somber. You couldn’t imagine what was going through his head the nights you were gone.
Going through his daily routine and sleeping in an empty bed without you filled him with guilt, especially knowing that this happened over something that could have been easily prevented. He blamed himself every day, it didn’t matter that you weren’t gone for long. It was still his fault.
“Doppo, don’t blame yourself-”
“I do. I was already careless enough to let you get hurt, and I can’t let that happen again, I won’t.” You would be more concerned, but his tone shifted. It was no longer full of pity for himself, full of guilt. Instead, it was full of unwavering determination, that this scenario can’t- will never happen again.
You could tell that he was making a promise, to both you and himself. And he is a man of his word, after all.
You already made it to your shared bedroom, Kunikida carrying you to the restroom and sitting you on the edge of the bed. He already began to grab your PJs from the dresser, and made his way back to you. “Is it okay if- if I-”
“Yes, Doppo, I don’t mind you helping me undress.” You laughed. You two live together and he’s seen you hundreds of times, yet he still asks every time if he could come in if you’re changing. Just another reason why you fell for him.
Once you were done, he carried you again to the bathroom, the water already running and him checking to make sure it’s right for you. He already rolled his sleeves up and kneeled down in front of you, and you could hear him mumbling to himself about the different methods he can use to keep your cast dry as he lifted it.
You swear he’s too sweet for his own good, no matter how many times he tries to deny it.
—-
Even after your cast was off and your leg was good as new, Kunikida still caught himself trying to carrying you up the stairs every morning and night. He felt embarrassed every time you laughed and reminded him that he didn’t have to do it anymore. He still stood close by though, with the excuse that you’re still clumsy enough that it’s bound to happen again (which you just rolled your eyes and kissed his cheek). He did get the chance to carry you however whenever you were too tired or fell asleep downstairs, no exceptions.
(You may or may not have fake sleep sometimes so that he can carry you.)
Yes, he may reprimand and complain about how irresponsible and reckless you can be, he may act like the chaos you create throws off his dear schedule so much, and he wonders how you managed to make him fall in love with you so deeply when you don’t even qualify for all of his ideals, but he doesn’t care believe it or not. He wouldn’t give you up for the world.
Besides, anything to have you in his arms is worth the headache.
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justaniche · 3 years
Note
Hey! I’m dying for more Daxton. I seriously can’t wait for season 2. Can you write something about Nalini realizing Paxton is good for Devi? Like he takes care of her/protects her and helps her deal with her trauma
Thanks!!
Hi!
omg let me say first, anon, thank you for this ask. youre the first person to take me up on my offer to write stuff for you so thank you again.
A little bit about this writing piece before I actually show it to you, there was a point when I was writing it when I wasn’t sure if it was going to reach 1K words but there was a point where the words just start to flow and I can proudly say it is 2.1K and that is not a lot but based on what I thought it was going to end up being it has come along way. and this is one of my first-ish never have I ever work of writing. I think it’s the first I’ve written entirely off the top of my head. My other ones are either not posted or it’s my work inspired by the episodes and its just everything through Paxton‘s point of view so it’s a bit different.
this is getting sort of long so anyway, without further ado. here it is. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think and if you like it please feel free to send me another!
Nalini had just about had it. The day’s raging dumpster fire began with traffic that resulted in her being late to work. If that wasn’t bad enough, a patient she saw a couple days ago came back complaining that her treatment caused a breakout. After a follow-up, she discovered the patient hadn’t changed any of their habits despite her advice! So was it really the treatment, or the fact that they don’t wash their face? All that suffices to say when Nalini got home she was already on a very short fuse. Kamala was out for school and let her family know she wouldn’t be home for dinner so it was known by both Devi and Nalini that they would be cooking without her today. Nalini gave Devi specific instructions so that, regardless of how late her day ran, they could have dinner at a reasonable time. Devi did not follow those instructions. Nalini came home to the door unlocked, closed but unlocked, the house a mess, and Devi’s part of dinner not made. No matter how many breaths she took, Nalini was mad. No, mad didn’t quite cover it. She silently walked up the stairs, hell-bent on seeing what caused this disaster, and if she didn’t like the reason she planned to riff for the rest of the night. But approaching Devi’s door she found it ajar. She peeked inside, and that's where she found them.
After winning his swim meet, Paxton was on top of the world. The school day had been what it tended to be, light. Filled with class and hanging with his friends in the hotpocket. But that was hours ago. It was early evening when he saw her, Devi Vishwakumar, they had sort of become friends over recent weeks but given the up and down nature of their relationship, Paxton was always very aware of her. Devi had a way of grabbing Paxton’s attention. He was always trying to figure her out. Of course she made a hell of a first impression, first couple of impressions actually. Devi was sorely different from anyone else in his circle and Paxton wasn’t yet sure how he felt about the sudden invasion. He pretended he didn’t but after unintentionally watching her Paxton began to notice Devi’s change in mood sometimes. Like right now, from where Paxton was he saw the set of her shoulders. The tension was apparent as Devi stalked across the school grounds. Confusion flooded Paxton’s mind and before another thought could register, he was jogging towards her.
“ Hey, Vishwakumar, wait up! ” He called towards her but she didn’t stop
Devi cast a look over her shoulder, her voice was muffled when she spoke, “Uh, Hi Paxton, I can’t talk.” her voice cracks, “I’m in a bit of a rush.”
Paxton slows down for a second as he takes in the situation, Devi speeds up.
“Are you okay?”
Devi breaks into a dead sprint and Paxton doesn’t think, he just follows.
Devi was doing okay. Today was harder than most for a reason she couldn’t name but Devi was making it through. That was until last period art class. The teacher gave a simple assignment, and that was to paint your happiest memory. Immediately when the words left his mouth, a memory came flooding into Devi's mind like a tidal wave.
Devi was 8 when her father convinced her mother that going to a Californian beach as a family would be an adventure. Devi barely remembers the build-up, it was a haze of packing sandwiches and equipment. Leaving the house, only to discover something had been forgotten. A car ride that seemed to stretch into forever. But the beach was magnificent. At least it was in Devi’s memory. It was a gloomy day, the threat of rain looming, so the beach’s visitors were far and few in between. Devi remembers that feeling of warm sand under her feet. She remembers those first fragile steps into the tide, only to rush back as the ocean crashed forward chasing her back to shore. She could see her mom, in the distance, setting up their makeshift camp for the day. She was more content watching her family than participating. The ocean was vast and blue and terrifying. Devi could not urge herself to take more than a few steps. Devi doesn’t know how her dad saw her distress but it was like he could read her mind. He grabbed her and lifted her high then settled Devi on his shoulders. He insisted that she was safe there, she was too high for the ocean to ever reach. He held her hand as he walked slowly but confidently further into the waves. He stopped just as the water kissed her mid-calf but it was enough. From way up here, with her father by her side, the ocean wasn’t anything to fear, it was something to marvel at.
Devi had a firm picture in her mind of her happiest memory and it was her family’s adventure at the beach. But Devi couldn’t make a move to make this image a reality. Sadness crept up on her and got a vice grip on her heart. Her vision blurred and she couldn’t breathe. How had she ever breathed before? Was it always this hard? The bell rang, signaling the end of the day but Devi was on autopilot. Eleanor and Fabiola felt miles away, whenever they’d focus in the daze of her mind, the grip on her heart tightened and dragged her back to darkness. Devi doesn’t know if she said goodbye to her best friends,
She blinked, band began
She inhaled, band was over
She stood, the sun was setting
She gazed, the stress stiffened her movements as she walked around campus. Where was she headed?
Devi was desperate for light, for clarity.
“ Hey, Vishwakumar, wait up! ” The sudden noise broke the muddle, if only for now, she was again aware of the devastation and loss weighing on her mind and on her heart.
She recognized that voice and it was getting closer, she glanced over her shoulder. Paxton, no no no, she didn’t want anyone to see this least of all her newest and most popular friend, “Uh, Hi Paxton, I can’t talk.” Why was her voice cracking? “I’m in a bit of a rush.”
Devi finally knew where she wanted to go as she increased her speed.
“Are you okay?” Paxton’s question was the final straw, she couldn’t stop her tears and they fell uncontrollably past her cheeks. Paxton was going to catch up, and Devi was crumbling by the second. So Devi did the only thing she could. She ran, ignoring the echo of the beating steps behind her.
Nalini could hardly comprehend the scene playing in front of her. Devi, her only child, her entire world, looked so small folded up on the floor in front of her bed. Devi was always so strong, with a personality larger than life. She always seemed bigger than her stature, always taking up more space. Nalini's anger from the day deflates, leaving no trace it was ever there to begin with. Nalini tears her eyes away from the form of her daughter to take in the room. It was dark but the other figure inhabiting the room was clear as day. Paxton sat before Devi, his body language soft. He had one hand on the arms Devi wrapped around herself as he spoke to her gently. Paxton’s volume was soft as a whisper, any louder would shatter the delicate atmosphere. Witnessing this scene felt like a secret and the longer Nalini stood there the guiltier she felt. Devi never expressed emotions this deeply to her. Everyday problems with her friends or tests or Ben Gross, yes. But Devi never shared this.
Nalini's mind was going a million miles an hour as he crept back down the steps and began cooking dinner. She knew Devi would refuse but she needed to have something ready, just in case. When everything was mostly done, she was quiet as she moved around the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the meal. Nalini knew he was trying to walk silently but she still caught Paxton as he descended the steps. Nalini kept her back to him as she called, giving Paxton an out if he needed.
“Paxton?”
“Um...yes, Hi Mrs. Vishwakumar” at the acknowledgment, Nalini felt comfortable enough to turn around.
Paxton was standing in the doorway, shuffling in obvious discomfort. What he expected her to say she didn’t know. Gods, neither did Nalini. Questions flew through her mind faster than she could catch them. She didn’t want to ask him about what happened, Nalini wanted Devi to share when, if, she was ready. Nalini realized, amongst these questions, that she didn’t know Paxton. Here was this kid, late in the evening comforting her daughter. She couldn’t even be upset that they were home alone when she recalled how broken Devi looked. All Nalini had done thus far was judge Paxton, he looked like a jock so she thought him dumb. She made these assumptions about him, that he’d peak in high school or that he was shallow or that he was a walking STI, but they were just that. Assumptions. This kid stayed with her daughter for she didn’t even know how long, she’d been cooking for close to an hour so it was at least that.
All these guesses and judgments were useless when she stood in front of him. Paxton had a rigid set to his limbs, Nalini thought it was probably from sitting in one position for so long, and he was still dressed in gym clothes. Paxton looked new in Nalini’s eyes and she regretted never wanting to know him before now. Nalini didn’t know where to begin, she wondered if he’d eaten.
“Would you like something to eat?” Nalini's silent prayer must’ve been heard because he accepted. She was being given another chance. She quickly worked around the familiar space, grabbing one of the good containers and piling more food than necessary, successfully straining the unyielding plastic. She was handing the meal over when she paused, they both had a hand on the object between them but Nalini couldn’t let go, not yet.
“Thank you, Paxton, really, I don’t know what happened and I won’t ask but I saw what you did for Devi.” Paxton had the decency to look a little shocked. He hadn’t heard anything. Paxton was too absorbed before. His mind was a broken record repeating only, Devi.
The moment shatters when the front door opened, “I’m home!” Kamala’s voice fills the silent home. With the trance broken, Nalini’s hold on the container falters and she drops her hand allowing Paxton to leave. Words were failing him so all Paxton could give was a tightlipped smile in response.
“Thanks for the dinner.” Paxton’s smile was looser now and that gave Nalini courage.
Kamala was unloaded the day around her but Nalini was focused on making this right, “You’re welcome to come by Paxton, anytime.” She could only hope Paxton knew just how much she meant those words. His smile was burdened but bright, he nodded strongly and then he was out the door.
Kamala was fixing the table for a very late dinner when she called for Devi to join, Nalini hoped she would. “Who was that? And why was he here so late?” Pure curiosity laced Kamala’s voice.
“Paxton is one of Devi’s friends. He’s a good kid.”
Those details were all she could provide before Devi came bouncing down the steps. Nalini couldn’t be sure if it was the fact of what she saw or reality but Devi’s movements looked heavier than they normally were.
“What’s up guys?” Devi’s voice feigned casualness, “Dang mom, isn’t it late for a thousand-course meal?” She questioned as she took in the lack of clear surfaces on the dinner table.
Nalini just brushed it off, indicating for everyone to take a seat. “So how was everyone’s day?”
Nalini wasn’t looking for Devi to share but this was her family. She would always want to hear how they were, plus it was tradition. As they consumed insane amounts of food they were bound to regret eating this late at night, everything felt so normal and easy. But something had shifted in Nalini today and even though it was new and she was scared to death of this person entering Devi’s life with the propensity to hurt her. Nalini can’t say she minded too much because it was Paxton. He had proven himself worthy of a chance, and Nalini wouldn’t soon forget it.
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wanderinginksplot · 3 years
Note
If you're still taking requests, can I request either Echo or Tech with hurtReader + fluff? 👀
(your writing is amazing and it melts my heart sndnfjdjdb)
Hi, friend! Thank you for the compliment - you're so sweet! I went a little lighter on the fluff than I meant to, but this is what I ended up with. Thanks for the request! Enjoy!
Tech + Injured Reader + (Minor) Fluff
*WARNING: Slight mention of gore. Nothing graphic, but a head's up.*
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Watching the Havoc Marauder touch down was a ritual you followed every time the Bad Batch went anywhere without you on board. Tech liked to believe he was an excellent pilot, but you were of the opinion that flying took more than encyclopedic knowledge of a ship’s internal systems. It took instinct, a feel for the ship’s personality, and a good bit of luck to fly in a war zone.
Tech disagreed vehemently, but you had been assigned to them for a reason. Even if he had found your belief in luck - okay, slight obsession with luck - to be ridiculous, Tech admitted that you were an excellent pilot. It hadn’t been enough for you to accompany them on their mission, but it was something.
The real problem was that the members of the Bad Batch were insanely protective of anything or anyone they saw as ‘theirs’. Privately, you thought it was because they hadn’t had any personal belongings on Kamino. And they definitely hadn't had friends outside of their group. Unfortunately for you, you were also considered ‘theirs’ now and the Batch could be… restrictive when they felt you could be in danger. And since you were assigned to help them fight a literal war, you were always in danger and they were always protective. Especially Tech. You had been dating in secret for a few weeks now - too short a time for anything serious, but Tech let you take absolutely zero chances.
“Sir, we need to get you inside,” one of the troopers on deck told you, his light touch to your arm pulling your attention away from scanning the star-littered space above the hangar bay. The trooper's regulation armor looked oddly plain to you, even with the medic's symbol and the touches of gray that told you he was a member of the Wolfpack.
“I’m sorry, what was your name again?” you asked, partially to stall and partially because your luck senses were tingling.
“That isn’t important right-”
“Please?” you asked again. It was another quirk of luck. If a trooper touched you, you needed to know their name or they ended up dying. Statistically, you knew that probably wasn’t true, but who really wanted to mess around with fate if they didn’t have to?
The trooper blew out a sigh that crackled his annoyance through the speakers of his helmet. “Curl, sir. We really should be-”
“I’m sorry, Curl,” you apologized, interrupting the poor medic again. “I got separated from my team and I need to see that they’re back okay before I can leave. Does that make sense?”
“What team isn’t back yet?” Curl asked, seeming concerned. “I thought Commander Wolffe said that everyone had checked back in?”
“I’m with the Ba- with Clone Force 99,” you told him, changing your explanation to use the group’s official name at the last minute. Professionalism never hurt anyone.
“You’re with the Bad Batch?” Curl asked, sounding impressed despite himself. Without waiting for an answer, he gave a curt nod and lifted his wrist toward the speakers of his helmet. “Sergeant Sinker, Medic Curl.”
“Sinker here,” a voice answered immediately.
“Do we have an ETA on Clone Force Nine-Nine?”
“Hold.”
“Copy.” Curl glanced at you and you nodded to show that you were following the conversation.
“Curl, bridge says they’re inbound, expected to hit the hangar in about a minute.”
“Copy,” Curl said again. “Thanks, Sarge.”
“I’d stand clear,” Sergeant Sinker warned. “The good pilot isn’t on.”
“Are you the good pilot?” Curl asked you. You swore you could hear a smile in his voice.
You smiled back and nodded. “That would be me.”
“Understood, I’ve got the good pilot with me,” Curl replied over his comlink. “We’re gonna spectate, make sure they don’t scratch the paint job.”
“There’s no reason to worry,” Sinker said consolingly. “The GAR stopped springing for paint two months ago. There’ll be none left on that ship.”
Curl laughed aloud at that, shaking his head.
“Cut the chatter,” a harsh voice reprimanded. “This is an official channel. Save your jokes for the clubs on the Triple Zero, Sergeant.”
“Yes sir, Commander,” Sinker agreed chipperly.
The Solidarity’s deck shuddered as the hyperdrive activated, ready to take off as soon as the Havoc Marauder landed, and you stumbled with the movement. Curl caught you - his grip uncomfortable given the harsh plastoid planes of his armor - and shook his head.
“We really need to get you inside, sir,” Curl said again, sounding reluctant but concerned. “You have an appointment in the medbay with me, and I’ll be very offended if you’re late.”
You were about to point out that he would be late, too, when the Marauder zoomed up and around the Solidarity, clearly following a path to land.
“Wait, they’re right there,” you protested. “Give ‘em ten seconds to land and a bit longer for me to gloat, then I’ll gladly go to the medbay.” Curl hesitated and you pressed your advantage. “I’ll be a model patient, Curl. No arguments, no debates, no complaining.”
“I never believe anyone when they say that,” Curl said dryly, “but I guess you’ll survive without treatment for a little while longer.”
“Thanks, Curl!” your enthusiasm was a little… off… but you blamed it on the pain you were finally beginning to feel.
Tech was flying, you knew that beyond a doubt. Not only was he the only person allowed to fly, but the landing performed by the small cruiser was proof that the wickedly intelligent trooper was behind the controls.
As soon as they had landed, Wrecker burst out of the side door. “Ha! Told ya we would make it back in one piece.”
“More luck than skill, that,” Crosshair countered sourly, slouching from the door as well with Hunter behind him.
“As I said multiple times, everything was under control,” Tech disagreed. He caught sight of you and started in your direction, eyes taking in the way Curl’s gloved hand was still gripping your bicep.
“There, you saw ‘em,” Curl muttered to you. “We really need to go now.”
“I beg your pardon, but where exactly are you trying to go?” Tech asked sharply, glancing between the two of you.
“Medbay,” Curl replied, slipping into the vocal brevity of a career soldier. “Your pilot was injured, but wouldn’t accept treatment until you had touched down.”
“Luck, you know,” you told Tech, who was already scanning your form with his goggled gaze. You smirked at him and shrugged off Curl, who seemed ready to tow you to the medbay himself. “Also, statistical likelihood be karked! I stayed in the ‘safest possible place’ like you told me and I’m the only one who ended up injured! You should listen to me from now on.”
“What?!”
“Injured?”
"How? Where?"
The rest of the Bad Batch had surrounded you and Curl in a moment, all asking different variations of the same question. Hunter’s voice cut through them all. “Trooper, why is she not in the medbay?”
Curl held up his hands as if despairing of the entire situation. “Sorry, Sergeant. Your pilot refused to leave until we saw your ship land. It would be a big help to me if you would just issue an order to report to the medbay so I can start treating the injuries.”
For all that he liked to take a laid-back approach to non-combat leadership, Hunter took the safety of his team seriously and you knew he was about to do as Curl had suggested.
“It’s not even that bad an injury,” you argued before Hunter could speak. “I just got hit with some debris."
You tugged up the rough, canvas-like material of the uniform pants you wore while you weren’t actively flying and showed them your lower leg. You were busy looking at the faces of the Batch rather than the injury, but you knew something was wrong when Tech swore. Tech never swore.
With a frown, you glanced down at your leg. Your mind refused to make too much sense of things, but you saw smears of crimson and a pale flash of something before the dizziness returned worse than ever.
Fortunately, Curl caught you before you could actually fall and Wrecker scooped you up a moment later. He was already muttering soothing nonsense as he lifted you, and it was almost enough to keep you from noticing the pain. “All right, here we are. Everything is fine. Just don’t puke on me.”
“Medbay,” Hunter ordered severely. “Now .”
“Yes, sir,” you agreed, your voice more weak than you liked.
“Finally,” Curl muttered.
“Tech, go with them,” you heard Hunter say from a rapidly growing distance.
There was a sound of jogging steps, but when you tried to look for Tech’s familiar face, the Solidarity leapt into hyperspace and you felt like you might actually pass out.
“What will treatment consist of?” Tech asked. He was trying to mask his worry by being professional, but you could hear a hint of it in his voice.
“Some stitches, probably an antibiotic shot since the debris was metallic, and a check of the nerves in the area of injury,” Curl answered easily. The lack of concern from the medic was comforting in a strange sort of way.
The silence hung for a few moments, interrupted only by the sound of everyone’s footsteps. Eventually, Tech admitted, “I should have been able to calculate the risks more closely. This never should have happened.”
“Aw, how were you supposed to know?” Wrecker asked loudly.
“That’s right,” Curl agreed. “This is war. Unexpected variables are the norm and there are no safe spots. My only advice is to take all of your people with you. After all, your pilot accepted the assignment to be part of your team. Trying to keep people out of the action never works. Take the lesson, learn from it, and make adjustments in the future. You don’t need to do anything more than that.”
“He’s right,” you agreed, the sentiment muffled against Wrecker’s broad chestplate. “Let me do my job and trust that I’ll do everything I can to keep us all out of danger.”
You blindly stuck your hand out behind Wrecker’s back, searching until you connected with Tech’s familiar fingers. His grip was hesitant but steady, and you gave his hand a squeeze of reassurance.
“It’s probably true,” Curl said, apparently backing you up. “Pain is like a truth serum. And with that gash… it’s probably the truth. Even if you did lie about being a perfect patient.”
You chuckled at that, despite the discomfort from your injury, and relaxed a bit as you felt Tech press a kiss to the back of your hand.
---
A/N - This chapter could realistically be called 'Ink will do anything to avoid using the y/n designation'. For those who are unfamiliar, Curl is my OC medic for the Wolfpack and you can read more featuring him in Just for Kix on my masterlist. As always, I'm still taking requests! Thanks again, Anon, for this idea and I'm sorry again about skimping on the fluff! If you want me to rewrite or expand on it, please feel free to let me know.
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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years
Text
MALEC WEEK - IDIOTS TO LOVERS
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Most people despised getting older. But Magnus actually loved it.
The older you get, the wiser you become.
Every year, life teaches you something new. Something important. It never missed.
And this year, Magnus had learned a very valuable lesson indeed.
Never ever take advice from Ragnor Fell.
“A long drive would do you some good, Magnus,” Magnus imitated his friend’s words with a scowl. “You can look at the trees, Magnus!”
Magnus looked out of the window, fanning himself with one hand. “WHERE ARE MY DAMN TREES?”
There were no trees. There was no scenery.
It was just dry, dry land. And the sun was out to get him today.
Sure, the view wouldn’t be much from an airplane either. But at least he would be sipping cocktails and instead of drowning in his own sweat.
“I’m going to kill him,” Magnus promised himself in a soothing tone. “I’m going to kill Ragnor when I get to the guest house.”
They were all supposed to meet up at Ragnor’s guest house for the old goat’s birthday. But thanks to this endless drive and the merciless sun, it seemed that they would probably be going to Magnus’ funeral first.
“I will pay in sweat,” Magnus said in a calming tone. “And Ragnor will pay in blood.”
There was something in the distance. Something big and black. He thought it might be an animal. He couldn’t even see properly – thanks to all the sun and the sweat. He squinted harder and saw that it was a car.
A broken-down car.
“Just keep driving,” Magnus told himself. “Not your problem. Just keep driving.”
But as he got closer, he slowed down – because of course he was going to help a stranger out.
Maybe god would look kindly at this good deed and bless him with spontaneous rain.
He parked his car and hopped out, shaking off the sweat and exhaustion. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Something’s up with the stupid engine,” a voice said from behind the raised hood of the car.
“Well, technically something is down with the stupid eng-” the lame joke died in his throat. “Holy shit!”
“Excuse me?”
It was a man.
A gorgeous man.
Without a shirt.
It was a gorgeous man without a shirt.
“You okay?” the man reached out.
Magnus jumped back like a rabbit.
He was positive that he would spontaneously combust if the man touched him.
“Your face is burning,” the man pointed out. “You sure you are okay?”
“Yeah,” Magnus gulped. “You’re hot.”
“I-What?”
“You’re hot,” Magnus stammered. “I’m hot. We are all hot. It’s the stupid climate.”
“Oh, right,” the man chuckled nervously and pointed at his naked chest. “I know. I literally had to take my shirt off.”
Magnus just smiled – not trusting his own mouth. “So, car broke down, huh?”
“Nah, I’m just standing here for fun,” the man said dryly.
Oh god. This wasn’t going well. Get it together, Magnus!
“Anything I can do to help?” Magnus asked.
“You know anything about vintage cars?” the man asked, his tone not condescending, just curious.
“Duh,” Magnus replied with a confidence that came out of nowhere. “I’m actually a vintage car expert.”
He didn’t know shit about vintage cars.
Fuck, he didn’t know shit about regular cars.
The man bent down, peering into the engine again. “They are thing of a beauty, aren’t they?”
Magnus was sweating again. But he doubted the sun had anything to do with it. “Yep. Beauty indeed.”
“That’s a nice vintage ride too,” Alec pointed at Magnus’ car. “That’s a Mercedes 300SL Gullwing, right?”
Fuck if he knew. It was Ragnor’s car. He was just driving it back.
“Yep, that’s correct,” Magnus nodded.
“Hey, you have any water?” the man suddenly straightened up. “I actually ran out a few miles ago.”
“Um, yeah. Hold on,” Magnus nodded and jogged back to his car.
He threw the plastic bottle at the shirtless guy, who caught and poured some of it into the car.
And then this man, this beautiful human specimen, had the audacity to spill the rest of it on his head.
The water cascaded down his naked upper body and Magnus gulped – perhaps even audibly.
“Oh, sweet baby jesus,” he muttered to himself.
“What?” the man asked.
“It’s hot,” Magnus said.
The man cocked his head. “The climate?”
“Obviously,” Magnus nodded. “You think, uh, you think you can fix it?”
“I’m not sure with this damned heat” he said, passing the bottle to Magnus. “The engine should cool down though - thanks to you.”
“You’re welcome,” Magnus smiled. “So, I guess…I guess I should go.”
The man blinked – as if he hadn’t expected that at all. As if he had expected Magnus to just hang around out and chat with a random shirtless man on the side of the road.
Oh if only…
“Yeah,” the man nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for the water.”
Magnus managed a polite smile and let his feet drag him back to his car.
“Unless you want to help,” the man yelled.
“I would love to help,” Magnus yelled back.
“Great,” the man smiled and for a moment Magnus wanted to kiss Ragnor for sending him on this cursed roadtrip. “I’m Alec.”
“Magnus,” he grinned. “So, um, let’s get started.”
Oh god. Oh god. What does he do? What does he do?
“I’ll get the tools,” Alec pointed out and went to the trunk.
Tools! Of course, you need tools to fix a car! Duh!
“Would this do?” Alec asked, showing Magnus an unnecessarily large box of…well, tools. Magnus didn't really know what they were called. 
“Um, I think so,” Magnus said airily. “I need to assess the problem first.”
He bent over to at least give it a shot and heard the man cough.
“You okay?” Magnus asked.
“Um, yes,” Alec replied, staring at Magnus. “You’re pretty.”
Magnus stood up straight and banged his head on the hood.
“I mean, you’re pretty far from town,” Alec explained with a flush. Stupid California sun. “Road trip?”
“Apparently,” Magnus chuckled, ignoring the pain on his forehead. “You?”
“Driving up to see my brother,” Alec answered. “But now…Well, I’m not so sure.”
Oh.
Oh wow.
“You think so?” Magnus asked.
Magnus didn’t know the feeling was mutual. Maybe they could go to Ragnor’s guesthouse together. That would be a nice payback.
“Well, I can’t really make it all the way there without a car,” Alec explained, and Magnus wanted to face palm so bad.
Of course. Of course, he meant the car.
“You think you can fix it?” Alec asked.
Magnus put on a grave face. “I’m afraid the damage is serious.”
“Wait, what?” Alec sounded surprised.
“Yeah, you probably won’t be able to drive it ever again,” Magnus said sympathetically. “Your engine…opener is…rusted.”
“My engine what?” Alec looked confused. “It’s new!”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“It’s a common problem with vintage cars, actually,” Magnus pointed out with fake confidence.
“Is that so?” Alec asked, giving him that smile that only made Magnus want to keep lying and hang out here a little longer.
“Yep,” Magnus said and pretended to focus on the car again.
“What are some other common problems with vintage cars?” Alec asked curiously. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt to know.”
“Um,” Magnus said. “The accelerator can get, um, greasy sometimes.”
“Oh really?” Alec asked. “Why is that?”
“Um, humidity,” Magnus pointed out.
“And how would I fix that?” Alec asked,
Damn, this guy had a lot of questions about vintage cars.
“Oh, you just take circle thingy,” he picked up a random tool from the toolbox. “And just, uh, rub it on the accelerator.”
Alec’s face looked odd. Like he was going to sneeze.
“And what should I do if the engine is overheated?” Alec asked.
“That’s simple,” Magnus felt like he knew the answer to this one. It's just like coffee. “You just blow on the engine until it cools down.”
Alec bit his lip. Maybe a demonstration was in order?
“Wait, I’ll show you,” Magnus said and bent down again to blow on the engine. “It’s not that diff-”
“DON’T DO THAT!” Alec yelled and yanked Magnus back.
He did with such force that Magnus ended up almost falling. But Alec caught him by the arm and steadied him quickly.
“You don’t blow on an overheated engine, Magnus!” Alec said. “You could have burnt yourself!”
“I was being careful!” Magnus complained.
“You were being reckless,” Alec pointed out. “Do you know anything about vintage cars?”
Well, he didn’t see any point in keeping this up.
“They are expensive?” Magnus asked cheekily.
“You could have messed up my car,” Alec said – sounding a little pissed off. “Or worse. You could have gotten hurt.”
If Magnus knew one thing about vintage cars was that they were actually expensive. Did Alec just say Magnus getting hurt was worse than getting his vintage car damaged?
“I’m fine,” Magnus shrugged it off. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. 
“The car is fine too,” Alec pointed out. “The water should help.”
“Well, if it was fine then why did you ask for my help?” Magnus demanded.
“Why did you pretend like you can fix my car?” Alec countered.
They were just staring at each other in the middle of the road. It was like a stare off or something.
Magnus lost of course. Because he was still aware that Alec was not wearing a shirt and his eyes may have travelled a little south from his face.
“Fine, I lied,” Magnus put his hands up.
“I lied too,” Alec said a little lamely. “I actually fix cars as a hobby.”
“But then why-”
“Why do you think?” Alec asked, rolling his eyes.
“Ohhhh,” Magnus said. “Well then…I should get going.”
What! Why? Stay back!
Alec who had looked surprised quickly recovered himself. “Alright then. Enjoy your road trip.”
Magnus nodded and walked back to his own car.
There was no reason to hang around here. There was nothing wrong with his car. He didn’t have anything else to do but get in, drive and go to Ragnor’s birthday party.
Stupid perfect car!
And then it struck him. He almost felt his eyes twinkle at the thought. He quickly bent down and let the air out of the front wheel.
Ragnor would just have to make do with three wheels. Sacrifices had to be made in the name of love and shirtless strangers.
“Alexander!” he called.
Alec jogged over to him – still without a shirt of course.
Bless the California sun.
“What happened?” Alec asked.
“Flat tire,” Magnus gave his best pout. “You think you can help me with that?”
Alec grinned.
“Well, I’m not sure,” Alec’s eyes twinkled too. “But luckily I know a vintage car expert.”
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kattwritesuwu · 3 years
Note
Can I request a Clingy!monsterTom x Depressed!Reader? Maybe with cutting and suicidal thoughts?
I sure can!!! I LOVE angst!!!!!
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Fandom: Eddsworld
Character: Tom
Reader: Depressed
Fic type: Comfort/angst
Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: This WILL heavily mention suic/de, blood, and perhaps other triggering topics, read at your own risk!!
Notes: People, I'm not trying to make depression and similar illness romantic, this is simply for comfort.
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I hate everything.
Well, not everything, but the majority, y'know? Everything just...sucks. Life in general, it's all terrible.
People are terrible. Sure, I've found a few choice people that aren't the bane of my existence, but even they have their flaws.
Am I saying that I'm some heaven sent angel? Hell no I'm not. I'm just as terrible if not more! I hate everyone, including myself.
Am I lying? Yeah. Do I have a crush on someone? Yeah. Am I gonna do something about it? Nope.
Why should I? It's not like I'll be here longer anyways...
I'm planning to kill myself.
Am I scared? Kind of. But at this point I don't care. I'm always scared anyways. Always on my guard around people.
Most people don't know the fear and pain of constantly feeling...numb.
It's not like I never feel anything, it's just so rare. My most common emotion is pain. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. But all I can ever being myself to do is cry, and even that's a rare occurrence at this point.
I feel so alone.
Friends? Yeah I have a few.... they're all a bit odd in their own way. Can't complain though, they're like family to me.
My real family? Not many immediate ones, plus, I moved to England five years ago. They called me everyday for the first couple of months. Nowadays, I can barely get a text back... I get that they have their own lives in their respective country, but man, it just makes me so cold-feeling...
I guess where I was going with this, is that I'm scared. Not of my inevitable death, but everything else.
I'm scared of anything and everything now that I think about it. I don't exactly mean common fears they talk about in elementary school, I'm talking real world problems.
I'm scared of failure, not sure why. I've failed enough in my life....it shouldn't even faze me at this point.
Im especially scared of people.
My friends? Yeah them too. What if I make a fool of myself and they think I'm an idiot? What if I make the wrong move, and they hate me? They probably hate me enough as it is...
That why I won't confess to Tom. He'll hate me afterwards. There's just no point in ruining something for nothing in return.
These were the thoughts that ran through my head as my arms and legs were sliced up by a blade driven by my own hands. It's wasn't like it hurt. All it really did was sting, I'm just that used to being hurt, I suppose.
As I was wrapping up my little 'session' I heard a knock on my door,
"(Y/N)! You in there? It's dinner time! I made breakfast for dinner!" A British accent leaked through my door.
I didn't scramble around at the thought of him walking in, my door was locked after all. It's not like I'm that stupid.
" I'll be there in a few minutes, Edd." I spoke back in a raspy voice, not bothering to yell. Edd has good ears, he can somehow hear a whisper from across the house.
It takes me a minute or two to get up and walk into the bathroom that connects to my room. I stumble a bit with the loss of blood.
Once I get in there I take a quick shower, just barely long enough to stop the bleeding and make it appear as if you just took an actual shower.
Once I get out of the shower, I slip on my (favorite color) hoodie.
That was an easy part of hiding my self abuse. Everyone in the house wore a hoodie of their own designated color.
I also slipped on a longer article of clothing to go onto my legs. Couldn't let them see my thighs either.
Once I finished the rest of my cleaning up, I headed out of my little bathroom, and in front of my door. I took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked out.
I got about halfway down the stairs before a screech startled me, causing me to trip a bit,
" (Y/N) IS HERE! YAY!" The high pitch British scream could only belong to the narcissistic ginger known as Matt.
Once I got my balance back into my feet, I continued down the stairs and greeted Matt with a wave.
" Yeah she lives here, idiot. She's not going anywhere." A deeper voice had spoken, I turned around and Tom was there as expected. I smile shrunk a bit at his last comment.
" Sup (y/n)." You snapped out of your thoughts and responded with a casual 'yo.'
The three of us then heard a thick accent cursing in the kitchen, no doubt it was Tord,
" For jævla skyld! Just let me have the last piece!!"
Sure enough, when we walked into the kitchen, Edd and Tord were fighting over the last piece of bacon. I let out a sigh, and the two boys finally acknowledged our existence. That alone didn't stop their argument though.
I didn't even bother attempting to break up the fight, I never could anyways. Their little fuss always ends one of two ways. Edd steals the bacon from under Tord's nose, or vise versa.
I just grabbed a small portion of food, and sat down.
I knew I would be gone by the end of tonight...but I wanted to taste Edd's cooking one last time.
Something interesting happened, instead of one of the two boys getting the bacon, they halved it and sat down. Of all my four years living in this house with these people, they've never shared their bacon.
Strange.
Dinner wasn't as talkative as it usually was when we all ate at the table. Usually we'd all have a big group discussion about our day, or week. Tonight was quiet, giving me an opportunity,
" Hey, guys?" Each one of their heads turned to me, and Edd signalled me to continue,
" I just wanted to say, thank you." Their brows furrowed but I held out a hand to tell them to let me finish,
" You four have helped me with so much over the past few years. From when you let me live here when I couldn't find proper housing situations, to letting me borrow the car. I just wanted to formally tell you all how grateful I really am. You are truly the kindest people I've ever met." As I went on talking, I realized how bad of an idea this actually was.
I mean, will they get suspicious? I'm just showing gratitude right? It shouldn't sound like a cry for help or anything...
As I snapped out of thought for the fiftieth time today, I notice that all of the boys have some type of smile on their face, even Tom!
Edd was smiling like a proud mother,
Matt was smiling giddily,
Tord had a smug, 'cool guy' smile,
And Tom had the smallest smile that made my heart melt.
I awkwardly continued my fake smile, and sat down.
Conversation continued on as would on a normal night, with the topic being past pleasant memories.
I volunteered to wash the dishes, it was the least I could do. There was only one problem. For some ungodly reason, Tom had insisted on helping me.
I couldn't figure out why at first, untill it dawned on me that he probably needed something from me.
So as I scrubbed the forgetten food off of the ceramic plate, he rinsed and dried them. We did this in silence, aside from the running water. Tom's the first one to break the tension filled silence,
" So, how have you been?" It was such a simple question, I could have simply faked a toothy grin, and said that I was great. I could have thanked him for asking. I could have asked him back.
But I only did one of those things.
" I've been doing just as good as I always do." I reply with a small sad smile. I tear my eyes away from the dish water," How about you? You've been awfully quiet tonight."
He chuckles lowly," Just had a lot on my mind, trying to face some of my problems, that's all." I stop what I'm doing and look over at him,
" Do you want to talk about it? I think the others are asleep already."
Normally when Tom is having any type of problem, he comes to me for advice, or even just for someone to listen to him rant when he's drunk. I even gave him a spare key to my room if he ever needs me while I'm asleep. He's offered the same for me, but I told him that I have a counselor. I try not to lie to my housemates all the time, only when necessary.
He simply shakes his head in response," Nah, this is one I have to deal with on my own," I sigh,
" Alright then, but keep my offer in mind. Just try to remember to see me before I go to bed, I'm...going to bed early tonight. I have something to do tommorow." He nods in understanding.
After we finish the dishes, we say our goodnights,
" I'll see you in the morning, (y/n)." I give one last fake smile,
" Same to you, Tom. Sleep well." I see him nod and walk down the hall as I close my door and lock it for the final time.
I walk into my bathroom and look into the mirror. All I see is a monstrosity of a person glaring back at me.
The bags under my eyes had only gotten worse after the sleepless nights I spent writing my suicide note.
I decided to skip reading over it one last time, I want nothing that could alter my decision at hand here. If I read my dying love letter that's written to Tom, I might stop myself in some kind of silly hope that everything could be okay again. It was too late for all that now.
So, I grabbed my blade that had served me well over the years, and stepped into the bathtub. I didn't cry, I didn't shake in fear of what I was about to do. I sadly smiled instead. As I took my hoodie off, revealing a tank top that no one knew I owned. I set my hoodie softly onto the floor, and turned on the hot water.
I took a deep breath in, and sigh, grabbing my blade and getting to work on my first artery. It took me a couple tries to find it.
But once I did, it started the red tint in the once clear bath water. I took in a shaky breath, adjusting to the dizziness of loosing so much blood so quickly.
At this point I couldn't even hear the bathwater running, everything was muffled.
I reached to turn it off, and a hand was placed onto mine. It takes me a good second to register that there was someone next to the tub, yelling my name right next to my face.
I try my best to focus on who could have caught me. Yet it's so difficult to take in my surroundings at this point.
So as I stare at the person beside my bathtub with fading eyes. I feel pressure on my wound, and see something being wrapped around it.
I start panicking, trying to say no, to let me die.
But I just can't. I just watch as my life is saved against my will.
Suddenly I can see that I'm moving, I can't figure out how until I notice the arms carrying me bridal style to a soft surface. That's when I lost consciousness for the next hour.
I didn't exactly 'wake up' more like fazed into existence. It's like I just gradually became aware of what was around me.
I became aware of the sobs coming from my bedside, and of the pressure squeezing my hand.
I forced my eyes open and tried to sit up. Yet I instantly regretted my decision, pain shot throughout my body. I glance over to my hand and up the....purple arm....
Who is this? Or perhaps I should say, what is this?
It's some kind of...monster? Hybrid? It looked kind of human... I could only see the torso and up. Even then, the arms grew bigger the farther down the arms stretched, and turned a deeper and deeper shade of purple. Horns poked out of the head laying slightly onto my shin, poking me a bit.
" Am-" I hold my throat. That hurt. I clear my throat of the mucus and start again as the unknown monster wakes up,
" Am I dead?"
The monsters head shoots up, and I can't help but recognize the 'eyes' that I've grown to love.
" T-Tom..."
He tries to smile for me, but it twists into a sad frown as his black orbs start to water,
" (Y/n)....(y/n) you're...y-you're okay! You're okay..." He said this over and over again as he cupped my cheeks with his transformed hands.
I grab onto his forearm to steady his shaking. This was starting to scare me.
I had never seen this man shed a tear in front of me, yet alone bawl into my shoulder like he was doing now,
" Tom, it's okay, I'm right here." I whispered this, and many other reassurances into his ear. Confirming to him that it was going to be okay and that, to my displeasure, I wasn't going anywhere.
He seemed to get angry after a few minutes, he ripped himself away from me and took hold of my shoulders,
" WHAT IF YOU WEREN'T RIGHT HERE? WHAT IF I HADN'T OF WALKED IN!! WHAT THEN HUH? YOU WOULDN'T BE RIGHT HERE!!! YOU'D BE GONE!! I would have...lost you..." He slid down the side of my bed as he finished his outburst. He sat crying into his knees.
I didn't know what to do. Is he mad at me? But despite the questions, I acted without thinking.
I began to run my fingers through his hair, almost brushing it. He seemed surprised at first, before he leaned into my touch.
" I'm sorry Tom. I didn't think it would effect you like this..." All was silent for a few moments. Until,
" Why..?" He sniffled a few times before I could respond.
" Why? Why what?" He looked up to me,
" Why would you try to leave me?" I couldn't even bring myself to say anything after that. Tom seemed to sense the frog in my throat, and continued,
" You don't realize, (y/n). You don't realize how special you are. To your family, your friends. I mean bloody hell (y/n)! What about us?! Edd would be heartbroken! And how are we supposed to explain something like that to Matt?" I avoided the possible eye contact and twidled my thumbs in my lap,
" What about me (y/n)? How am I supposed to go on living with myself if you, the love of my life, killed herself?" My mind went blank. He took my hand in between both of his,
" I know this isn't the greatest time for this, but if it'll boost your self esteem even a little bit, I don't care about embarrassing myself. (Y/n) (L/n), I am deeply in love with you, and have been since you moved in. I've loved you since you helped me to bed when I came in drunk all those years ago. I've loved you since you beat my Pac-Man score at the arcade, I acted so mad, but you were just so cute so excited like that... (Y/n)... Please let me help you love yourself by loving you..."
By the time he was done with his speech, I was in tears, a small frown on my face. He seemed to get the wrong idea as he instantly dropped my hand and got up,
" I got the message, I'll just uhm... I'll just g-" I grabbed his hoodie strings and pulled him in for a kiss.
We could both tell that there would be many more to come.
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I'm sorry if it's extremely long, I just love to write angst haha...
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