#for my mom so i can work and make money and support us

[ranger-kellyn]

told myself to take a break from getaway car so i don't burn myself out like i did last year, and of course my brain wanted to go think about my scarlet/violet fic, sooo have some rambling below the read more

like. one of my ideas has always been that i want juliana specifically to have quaxly not just bc he's my favorite starter in that region, but because it turns into quaquaval, a pokemon that is supposed to be known for its dancing abilities. i like to think they're a pokemon that only needs to see a dance once or twice before they've got it memorized.

i love the idea that a huge part of juliana's overall character arc is admitting to herself how much she wants to learn how to dance in some way because of course she happened to pick the pokemon that loves to dance. so she's basically learning alongside her pokemon throughout his evolution stages, mutually gaining more confidence until he's a fully grown quaquaval.

and!! not just him, but probably the three friends as well! it may not be something any of them are really interested in to begin with, but juliana and quaquaval make it a ton of fun. she probably even takes the time to learn an individual dance of some kind with each of them, and is the first to drag anyone to any festivals happening in the cities and towns.

(bc i am who i am) nemona's the first friend juliana ends up dancing with. while juliana quickly realizes how much quaxly likes music, nemona is the one who tells her about how he's going to turn into a pokemon that loves to dance. she mostly just enjoys having fun with them and learning whatever juliana is into. something that really helps juliana come out of her shell, which leads her to opening up to arven and penny around the same time

not 100% sure of styles apart yet but i mean...penny's has to be some nerd dance lol. i also kinda love the idea of arven learning a very formal spanish style dance with them.

idk i just want the core pillars of this story to be something along the lines of, music, song, food, and dance are all forms of love and connection and can be healing and--- AH i just want them to have time to really develop as a friend group throughout the treasure hunt.

[jorjin]

Think I might stay in the city I work at a little longer tomorrow before coming home again. I am terribly tired of dealing with extended family over

[ranoshfamily]

🚨Emergency🚨

Help Rana’s family toleave Gaza before it too late

Hello humanities 🤗🤗

Please read this as if I'm a member of your family . maybe your sister, daughter or a friend and as if my family who's under death now is yours.

"I am a computer Engineer and Mom for 3 children from Gaza , Rana Hassan Alabsi, with a strong ambition and perseverance. Over the past 10 years, I've worked tirelessly, I've dedicated myself to my family, working hard, planning, building my career. Despite facing challenges, I became a well-known professional engineer in Gaza.

 

Unfortunately, my life has been upside down since Oct ,Since that particular day, thousands of innocent lives have been lost in Gaza, many of innocent people lost their works and the only source of income like me.

Me and my childrens 1 of them, he is10 years old with downsyndrom and need a safer place and health care to still a live, left our home under the continuous bombardment and artillery strikes, on foot, without carrying with us our personal supplies, clothes, or Even our money, heading from Gaza to Deir al-Balah. There in Deir al-Balah we lived the most difficult days of our lives in a shelter with scarce resources, sleeping on the ground.

Without covers, without drinking a healthy water, then we moved to Khan Yunis after the intensification of the strikes and bombing, Then we moved to Rafah in the hope that we would find safety there or find a way out of Gaza to a safe place that we dream of for the future of our children,Let us live a happy, safe life for us and our children, and keep them away from all this pain, destruction, and siege, and spare them from the miserable future that will await them if the situation continues as it is in Gaza.

I come to you with a heavy heart and an urgent call for help. My family are currently caught in the war in Gaza, facing the harsh reality of an escalating crisis. The situation is dire, and I am reaching out for your support to facilitate their safe passage to Egypt. In this moment of desperation, I share the situation where it has taken a toll on their well-being.

This urgent plea is not only for their safety but also for the health of my son, who is facing serious conditions that demand immediate attention.

My family is trapped in an environment where access to necessary medical care is severely limited. The escalating crisis compounds the urgency, especially considering my son's health conditions. Time is of the essence, and we are in a race against it to get him the vital medication and care he desperately needs.

My loved childrens are in a situation beyond their control. The fear in their eyes and the desperation in their hearts are indescribable. I implore you to be a beacon of hope for them, to be the force that guides them to safety. To be honest, the journey to safety comes with a significant financial burden.

We need the money to cover practical costs of transportation, documentation, a place to stay and shelter in and other essentials required for a safe crossing to Egypt. And so that they can take care of other needs once they cross safely. As of late April the evacuation fee ranges between $8,000 and $10,000 per person, before processing and transport fees, and we will pay the higher end of the range since Hayde doesn't have passport. Me and my family asking for 50,000$ based on the following breakdown: an evacuation fee at the Egyptian border of $8,000 - $10,000 per person , $4500 - $5000 per children as each day there is a different price for evacuation fee at the Egyptian border, plus a processing fee of $2,000 per person, $2,000 for transportation, and a 2.9% commission fee.

Any amount raised beyond the total will be used to supplement me & my family lives as refugees in Egypt. Your donation, no matter how small, will make an impact. You will be contributing to getting my family to safety. The funds will be used transparently and every dollar will go towards securing our evacuation.

Please share this campaign widely to help us reach our goal and bring my family to safety. Your support means more than you can imagine and I am incredibly grateful for any assistance you can provide during this challenging time. Thank you for your compassion and generosity. Together, we can make change and help my family find the safety and security they need".

instagram account : @help_my2024

My sweaty home before 7th oct

After 7th Oct

Vetted by:

Thank you very much 🌸🌸

@importantt-reblogs , see the Vetted Link

[thepinkmermaidprincess]

rafe came by your dance studio to thank you for helping his daughter but when he sees you doing an heels choreography,he might say more than just thank you…. 🩰❤️👠🎀

dance!teacher!reader x single!dad!rafe ♡

you were a ballet dance teacher for a group of adorable little girls on monday & wednesday & saturday nights,you loved teaching them one of your favorite things in the world. but on tuesdays & thursdays & fridays you were a heels dance teacher!!! you loved the gracefulness & softness of ballet but you also loved the sexiness & the technique of heels.

right now,you were watching your little angels practicing their ballet routine for the winter spectacle in two month,they were making so much progress so fast!

like every night,you waited for every little girl to leave before leaving but tonight sofia cameron came talking to you at the end of the class. you thought she was the cutest little girl you had ever seen,she was full of ambition & never give up. and well….you will never cross the line with one of your student’s parents but my god was her dad,rafe cameron,handsome. he camed to every single one of his daughter recital with flowers for her AND FOR YOU. he always pack her the cutest snack for the longest repetitions and if you needed help organizing something, he was always the first one to propose his help. you also knew that he wasn’t with sofia’s mom anymore,you guessed when she never came at any recital or to come pick her up from practice,you learned later that she abandoned sofia and used rafe for money. that made you mad & sorry for rafe but especially for sweet sofia.

“miss y/n ?”,sofia’s sweet voice asked you.

“ yes sweetie ? is everything okay ?”

“yes…i just…well it’s a little stupid but…how do you do to be so confident ?”

“oh sweet girl…it’s not stupid at all…turn around to look in the mirror please…you see that ?yourself ? well…that’s your bestfriend,you’re going to spend the rest of your life with your beautiful little self. so the best thing you can do is give yourself the biggest hug & a lot of love and support yourself through every good but also bad moment ….”

then,she broke your heart by crying,you crouched down behind her.

“sofia..is everything okay ? is someone annoying you ?”

“yes..some guys at school are a little mean…”

you took her hand in yours,turning her to face you,“sofia i want you to not listen to them,ignore them,you are the sweetest most amazing girl ever,you’re polite & kind,whenever one of the girls need help you’re always here and you’re so funny,always cracking jokes that make everyone laugh !!! never doubt yourself for anyone. ever….did you talk about it with your dad ? ”

“yeah…..it made him so sad..hate seeing him sad….he tried to go talk to the school but they didn’t stop…i know he’s been so tired after work…i dont want to make him sad….but now everytime they made me cry,i’m gonna think about you ! thank u miss y/n i like you so much…you’re the best”,she said before jumping into your arms.

“well i think you should talk about it again with your dad…he loves you so so much and no matter what he will always help.he is just sad because you’re his little princess and he don’t want you to ever get hurt.”

you hugged her back & tickle her until she was laughing and smiling again.

and it’s at that moment that rafe entered the studio.

“oh…hi baby…..miss y/n”,he said walking to you & sofia still hugging.

then sofia left your arms before running to go hug her dad.

“hi daddy”,she was practically shinning with happiness.

he laughed and you thought it was the most beautiful sound ever.

“damn baby…what got you so happy ?”,he ruffled her perfect bun and the thought of him taking time to make her hair perfectly everytime warmed your heart.

“miss y/n…she’s the best….and she’s so pretty,isn’t she dad ?”

“yeah…she is baby…the prettiest but not as much as you tho…go get your bag baby,sarah cooked your favorite chocolate cake for ya.”

sofia went happily get her back,you knew sarah was rafe’s sister because she often come to sofia’s spectacle with her husband john b.

“sorry about that….didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”,he said scratching his neck,you thought you even saw his cheeks reddening.

“oh no it’s okay really…..”,you smiled sweetly at him,your heart jumping.

˚₊‧꒰ა 🎀໒꒱ ‧₊˚

you were currently practicing your new routine on dance for you by beyoncé,it was the new routine you were going to teach your heels student tonight. your group was a group of twenty women and all of you formed a little dance family,now organizing dinner party to share the latest drama and gossip of y’all’s different life.

you dance during the entirety of the song,your body moving gracefully and sexily on the floor…the song was sexy and passionate and you tried to incorporate that in you choreography by moving your legs gracefully & moving your hair & arching your back…the sound of your high black heels resonating in the studio.

it was 6 PM,so you were the only one here yet,your class started at 8 PM.

when you finished your beautiful routine,you turned around to stop the music and that’s when you saw rafe. he was leaning on the doorstep,his arms crossed,his jaw thigh and his eyes were burning with something you couldn’t quit put a name on.

“oh my god…m.cameron…hi…hum…what are you doing here?”

“hey…didn’t meant to interrupt you i’m sorry. i came to thank you for whatever you said to my daughter yesterday. she….well today,she responded to her bully by saying that they couldn’t hurt her anymore because she was her own best friend and she would never again let someone make her feel bad for being herself because she was amazing….i….thank you. so much. she’s been so sad lately and whatever you said made her realize how wonderful & loved she was…so for that,i will always be grateful to you miss y/n truly.”

“m.cameron-”

“call me rafe..please”

“..rafe..i’m so happy to heard that….you raised sofia wonderfully,she is amazing!!! truly !!!! i did nothing but tell her to true,please give her a big hug for me tonight.”

he laughed.

“i will,miss y/n, i will……i….excuse me if i cross boundaries but i didn’t know you danced anything other than ballet ?”

“oh well…on the day i’m not teaching the girls ballet,i’m teaching heels choreography to a group of woman….mhm…just how much did you see exactly?”

“enough to know that you are intensely talented and…beautiful.”

you gasped.

“shit..sorry i wasn’t planning on saying that…i don’t want to make you uncomfortable,i’m going to go. thank you again so much.”

“no m.cam..rafe..it’s okay…thank you….i love heels dancing for that…it…it made me feel beautiful and powerful. it’s a great form of expression.”

“i’m happy to hear that…you shouldn’t feel anything other than that.”

his gaze traced your face before fixing on your lips.

“listen….would it be okay if i crossed boundaries even more by asking you to have dinner with me ?”

“i don’t know m.cameron…is it a date ?”

“if you want it to be…i want it to be.”

“yes.”,you tried hard not to cheese like a teenage girl but you couldn’t help it,rafe cameron was so handsome.

“perfect…i am not going to tell soph anything yet…she’s just been so crazy lately,always reminding me how beautiful you were and how…single you were. i think if she knows that you accepted my dinner offer,she is going to die of happiness.”

you laughed loudly and without any shame.

“has she been playing the matchmaker?”

“yeah….she really has…when are you free for the date?”

“my class on friday night got suspended so i’m free.”

“perfect,i send a driver here to come pick you up…i think you might not want be to know where you live just yet…you know,first date rules and all.”

“yeah thanks rafe. i see you friday ?” he needed to leave now before you accidentally jumped on him and started kissing him like a mad woman.

“yes,love,you’ll see me on friday. have a nice dance class tonight….”

“thanks.” but you didn’t know how you will be able to focus on anything other than him,and the way he was looking at you….with his beautiful bedroom eyes and the way the nickname «love»rolled down his tongue.

you ended up seeing rafe the next day when he came pick sofia up from dance class….he winked at you and when friday night rolled you were jumping of happiness. the night went by so fast,conversation & flirting never stopping.at the end of the night, he opened the door of your cab for you and asked you to text him when you’ll arrive safely back home but not before promising you another date.♡

˚₊‧꒰ა 🎀໒꒱ ‧₊˚

rafe’s pov of your discussion & your dance.

when i entered the dance studio the last thing i thought i will be seeing was miss y/n dancing on the floor in nothing but a pair of heels & some tiny black short & black bralette.

my god,was she the most beautiful little thing i’ve ever seen. i tried hard to not cross boundaries with her because she was sofia’s dance teacher but she was haunting me. slipping into my mind at any moment,when i’m working,when i’m shopping and i see her favorite parfume,when i’m watching sofia dance in the living room…..

and now ? now i’m fucking blessed by the sigh of her,opening her legs and arching her back on the floor sensually …..fuck me. she would look so pretty like that for me…on my bed….naked….she was so fucking sexy,the rain behind her pouring down on the window and the gray color of the sky casting a dark glow across the room. i needed to shake those thoughts,there no way she would be interested. i mean i was older than her and i has a fucking kid for god’s sake.

she turned in my direction and gasped when she saw me.

“oh my god…m.cameron…hi…hum…what are you doing here?”

“hey…didn’t meant to interrupt you i’m sorry. i came to thank you for whatever you said to my daughter yesterday. she….well today,she responded to her bully by saying that they couldn’t hurt her anymore because she was her own best friend and she would never again let someone make her feel bad for being herself because she was amazing….i….thank you. so much. she’s been so sad lately and whatever you said made her realize how wonderful & loved she was…so for that,i will always be grateful to you miss y/n truly.”

thanks to her my daughter was truly smiling again and opened up to me again. not only was she the sexiest fucking woman alive but also the sweetest to my daughter? was she created only to ruin me ? fuck…the sigh of her hugging my daughter made me too happy. way too happy.

“m.cameron-”

“call me rafe..please” i needed to hear her say my name,in her sultry sweet voice.

“..rafe..i’m so happy to heard that….you raised sofia wonderfully,she is amazing!!! truly !!!! i did nothing but tell her to true,please give her a big hug for me tonight.”

she was so goddam sweet, i couldn’t help but laugh. i don’t remember the last time someone other than sofia made me laugh. i also couldn’t help myself but to try to learn more about her. and this fucking choreography.

“i will,miss y/n, i will……i….excuse me if i cross boundaries but i didn’t know you danced anything other than ballet ?”

“oh well…on the day i’m not teaching the girls ballet,i’m teaching heels choreography to a group of woman….mhm…just how much did you see exactly?” the way her cheeks turned bright pink was the sweetest thing….what if ? what if she had the same crush on me than i had on her ? would it be so bad ? it certainly didn’t feel bad to me.

so fuck it. i’m saying what i think.

“enough to know that you are intensely talented and…beautiful.”

she gasped softly and my heart started pounding,what if i has read all of this wrongly?

“shit..sorry i wasn’t planning on saying that…i don’t want to make you uncomfortable,i’m going to go. thank you again so much.”

i needed to get out of here. right now.

“no m.cam..rafe..it’s okay…thank you….i love heels dancing for that…it…it made me feel beautiful and powerful. it’s a great form of expression.”

the way she was looking at me with her big beautiful bambi eyes made me realize that no. i had not misread the situation. she wanted me too,if i listen to her body language or..her thighs clenching together.

“i’m happy to hear that…you shouldn’t feel anything other than that.” she shouldn’t feel anything than the goddess she was.

i couldn’t help but look at her and at her beautiful full pink lips….what would she taste like? i wanted to find out so bad but before…

“listen….would it be okay if i crossed boundaries even more by asking you to have dinner with me ?”

“i don’t know m.cameron…is it a date ?”

fuck yes,hell i’m asking for mariage.

“if you want it to be…i want it to be.”

“yes”,she responded so fast,smiling so brightly.

fuck,she was beautiful,i wanted to make her smile forever,to maker her laugh.

“perfect…i am not going to tell soph anything yet…she’s just been so crazy lately,always reminding me how beautiful you were and how…single you were. i think if she knows that you accepted my dinner offer,she is going to die of happiness.”

she laughed loudly,the sound making my heart jump.

“has she been playing the matchmaker?”

that she has,yes.

“yeah….she really has…when are you free for the date?”

“my class on friday night got suspended so i’m free.”

perfect,all mine.

“perfect,i send a driver here to come pick you up…i think you might not want me to know where you live just yet…you know,first date rules and all.”

as much as i wanted to kiss her and push her until she was pressed between me and the wall and gently push her legs around my waist —fuck her legs would look gorgeous wrapped around me— i needed to go slow. both for her and for me. i will not make the same mistakes.

“yeah thanks rafe. i see you friday ?”

“yes,love,you’ll see me on friday. have a nice dance class tonight….”

and i’m going to spend the rest of my night thinking about her dancing like that again but this time,just for me.

“thanks.”

hope u loved it ♡ English is not my first language so i apologize for any mistakes <3

notes : should i make this like a little universe ? when any of you can like give headcanons,requests prompt….bcause i had so much fun writing it <3 i don’t think i’m going to make it a serie but more like writing randomly about them. sight …i love single!dad!rafe ♡

[bloomzone]

GLOW UP DIARY:#3 the power of self-care

"If you don't have a dream, that's okay too. It's possible not to have a dream. If you're happy, that's all that matters"

-Suga

heyy sparkles...so today it's the third part of the glow up and thank you so so much T-T for the support in the second part

Edit: haircare,nail care is for apparence part I focused on routines,skincare,body care in this part (I'm so busy these days T-T<3)

© bloomzone

#3 SELF CARE

✉️ : Self-care includes activities like eating well, exercising, and relaxing to maintain physical, mental, and emotional health. It's essential for managing stress and enhancing overall well-being.

Self-care is essential for maintaining balance

﹙ ✿ ﹚Taking care of yourself is about finding simple, comforting routines that make you feel good. Start with small steps, like taking a relaxing bath,do ur skincare , journal...Prioritize these moments and remember that they are just as important as anything else on your to-do list. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and choose activities that genuinely make you happy. Listen to your body and give yourself the rest and care you need. By focusing on what brings you comfort and joy, you'll create a self-care routine that feels natural and rewarding.

HOW TO START SELF-CARE ?

Have a routine: It is really important to have a routine because if not you could have bad sleeping, be tired all day, get boredeasily, won't be able to finish responsibilities, it can bring you bad self esteem, unmotivated and in general is a complete mess.

Example of a routine (by me)

summer version.

⏰( wake up at 4:30am to pray ifajr if u are a Muslim :) )

♡ ﾟwake up at 9:30am

♡ ﾟmake bed

♡ ﾟdrink water

♡ ﾟmorning stretch 15min

♡ ﾟskincare/quick shower

♡ ﾟbreakfast

♡ ﾟhelp mom if needed

♡ ﾟphone time

⏰(pray duhr if u are Muslim:) )

♡ ﾟlunch time

♡ ﾟnap

♡ ﾟfull workout

⏰(pray asr if you are Muslim:) )

♡ ﾟstart learning a language,see friends or simply watch a movie

⏰(pray Maghrib if you are a Muslim :) )

♡ ﾟhelp mom cooking dinner

♡ ﾟwash dishes

♡ ﾟcheck social

♡ ﾟskincare

♡ ﾟget ready for bed

♡ ﾟsleep at 10pm

Things u can add to your routine :

cleaning ur room

- wardrobe

- desk

cooking

- I will share my fav recipes in next blogs 🤫

set goals for next year

- academic goals

- life goals ( saving money,body goal ...)

sunday self care day routine

summer version

⏰( salat al fajr + reading Quran for Muslims)

♡ ﾟwake up at 9am

♡ ﾟdo ur bed

♡ ﾟmeditation

♡ ﾟskincare + face mask

♡ ﾟjournal/affirmations

♡ ﾟice coffee/tea

♡ ﾟmorning stretch 15min

♡ ﾟbreakfast

♡ ﾟhelp in cleaning

♡ ﾟwear ur fit

♡ ﾟgo shopping

⏰(pray duhr in masjid if u luv to :) )

♡ ﾟlunch

♡ ﾟfull workout

📍everything shower time

- hair mask

- shave

- body care

📍after shower

- dry your hair

- clean/paint ur nails

- wear ur comfy pyjamas

♡ ﾟwatch a movie

⏰(pray Maghrib if you are Muslim)

♡ ﾟquality time with ur family/friends

📍get ready for bed

- write down what u achieve this week

- affirmations

⏰(pray Isha if u are Muslim)

♡ ﾟskincare

♡ ﾟget ur beauty sleep at 10pm

SELF-CARE BODYCARE AND SKINCARE

1.skincare

﹙ ✿ ﹚ I know that we all love shopping and buying things because it's pink or aesthetic or it's just because it's a famous products NO NO this wroong u don't need to buy a whole truck of innisfree products because it's pink or glow recipe buy products that will work for u if u have acnes and ur face hurt everytime u try to sleep or u wanna just wash it,visit a dermatologist he will give the product that ur skin need to heal again. (As a girl with strict parents hhh they didn't let me go I'm 16yo btw),so I start to buy random products until I found the perfect one for my skin (I have a terrible TERRIBLE oily skin)+ if u are 12-18 don't use serum's without permission of doctor u will just broke ur skin texture I bought ordinary serum and it just make my skin worst + it's an expansive sht ☠️

How to get rid of acne ?

♡ ⠀skincare secrets !

⊹ ‧avoid junk food

⊹ ‧fresh vegetables and fruits

⊹ ‧icing your face

⊹ ‧clay mask (recommended by me)

⊹ ‧avoid using a lot of skincare products

⊹ ‧ simplify ur skincare routine ( cleanser,toner, moisturizer)

⊹ ‧get 7-8 hour of sleep

⊹ ‧rice water

⊹ ‧don't sleep with ur make up

⊹ ‧stay hydrate

⊹ ‧change ur pillowcase (one in a week)

⊹ ‧ cucumber slice as a mask

⊹ ‧don't touch ur face

♡   Item you need

⊹ ‧pimples patches

⊹ ‧silicone facial cleaner (for deep cleaning)

⊹ ‧headband (keep ur hair up always)

2.BODY CARE

﹙ ✿ ﹚ Taking care of your body is a vital part of feeling your best, both inside and out. A good body care routine can boost your confidence and help you embrace your natural beauty. Body care is also about self-love and taking time for yourself amidst a busy schedule remember girlie every skin type is beautiful, and finding the right routine can enhance your natural glow.

♡   Body care secrets

⊹ ‧ don't shave (ur body)early until u are in the right age (+17) , if u are not a hairy girl no need to shave :)

⊹ ‧ shower everyday (don't wash ur hair )

⊹ ‧ choose the right body wash (nivea,vaseline >>)

⊹ ‧ stay hydrate avoid junk foods to protect ur body skin from pimples

⊹ ‧Exfoliate your skin 1-2 times a week to remove dead skin cells and promote cell renewal. Use a gentle scrub suitable for your skin type (coconut oil brown sugar >>)

💌 : How to shave ur leg and have a smooth soft skin

1- soak ur leg in warm water for (3 to 5 min) to make ur skin ready

2- use ur fav body scrub and exfoliate your body from death skin

3- use something like body oil or shaving cream and find a good razor at least 3 blades (venus Gillette is on top)

4- shave with slow don't be harsh,long strock and don't forget to wash the razor everytime

5- after drying ur legs use any lotion u like to give the skin the extra moisture + using baby oil to avoid strawberry legs

⊹ ‧ Choose body care products that are free from harsh chemicals and fragrances Opt for natural and gentle ingredients stay healthy girlie

⊹ ‧ avoid very hot water

⊹ ‧ Use natural oils like coconut oil, almond oil, or jojoba oil for deep hydration. Apply them after a shower or use them as an overnight treatment for extra softness.

♡   item you need

⊹ ‧ dry brush

⊹ ‧ loofah

⊹ ‧ natural soap (for ur 🐱)

⊹ ‧ razor pack

⊹ ‧ body scrub

⊹ ‧ body wash

⊹ ‧ africain exfoliating nets

⊹ ‧ body moisturizer

⊹ ‧ Shea butter

⊹ ‧ Epsom salt

ıllı ⠀ : ⠀Self-care is essential for every girl to nurture her mind, body, and spirit. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Whether it's indulging in a relaxing bath, practicing mindfulness, or simply taking a break to read a good book, these moments help recharge your energy and boost your confidence. Remember, you deserve to feel good and be happy. Prioritizing self-care allows you to show up as your best self in every area of your life. So, take a deep breath, put yourself first, and watch how everything else falls into place. Ilvy sm ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!

© bloomzone

[fashion-runways]

okay it's been over a year and i keep saying i'm going to make a new post and it's too exhausting to even think about the whole thing so i keep pushing it-- here's the link to the old post if you want a more detailed thing i wrote back then.

anyway, a year ago, out of the blue, our apartment got raided by the police, they broke our front door, they broke a bunch of shit inside, they took a bunch of our stuff, they barely gave us answers or an explanation, they took my dad and made it seem like he would have to sign some stuff and answer some questions and come back, but it's been over a year (since june 2022) and he hasn't come back, and his case is still up in the air. they're barely working on it. they didn't pay for all the shit they broke, they haven't returned all the shit they took, we had to spend a lot of money on that, i had to take a loan to buy a new computer so i could keep working and studying, on top of spending even more money on basic needs for my dad in jail and lawyers, plus blood pressure and anxiety medications, plus he's old and he was scheduled an eye surgery that he obviously couldn't go to so he's like, practically blind in one eye now, also new clothes for him to wear there (there's a bunch of rules for that), honestly i already lost track of how many things we had to pay for. it's been incredibly stressful and it still is even now that we've gotten used to it. he's been detained for a year for something that they still don't even know if he did and the case is barely moving, i don't know if they're like... i don't know, waiting for the man to die in there since he's already old so they don't have to admit they don't have enough proof for all the mess they made? i don't know. like i said back then, please don't ask me for details on the case or show up in my inbox trying to play tiktok true crime and guess what he did/didn't do. it happened a few times and it's extremely triggering, please don't. please.

this blog is basically my job. it's my primary source of income, i don't have anything else, no matter how many interviews i go to, in the country/city i live and in the state our economy is, if you don't have contacts it's impossible to get a job. i'm always signing up to free programs to learn new things while i don't have a job, try to make my cv bigger, but it doesn't matter. if you don't have someone saying “please hire my friend/family member” or you don't have 500 years of experience, they won't. so like i said, donations people make to this blog are how me and my mom (and my pets) stay afloat. it's what we use to pay for food, general groceries, transportation, electricity, wifi, water, gas, health insurance, stuff for my dad in jail, meds for my mom who has diabetes, food and meds for my pets. i don't go out much, i haven't gotten a haircut in a year, i barely spend money in anything that makes me happy except once in a blue moon when i stop feeling guilty lmao i had a redbubble account also that helped a little too, but last week it got suspended without an explanation as i was uploading new designs, so i don't even have that now. i made a new account on teepublic, but all my designs in high quality are locked behind redbubble and i can't even log into because of the suspension. it's... complicated, and it's a lot, but it is what it is.

i'm always keeping an eye out on new collections, new designers, new cool things. like i said, i love fashion, i studied fashion, and i know a lot of you use this blog as inspiration whether it's for yourselves or for your art, so i don't want to post all similar stuff all the time, i want to post all kinds of styles and brands as much as i can. which is why when i say if you like this blog, if you want to support me, sending even the smallest amount of money helps me keep going. living in latin america, the exchange rate is kind of insane, so truly any amount of money donated helps. unfortunately, i never stop needing money to survive and help keep my family afloat, but in the past year more than ever.

as usual, my kofi link is this one: https://ko-fi.com/fashionrunways and my (new) teepublic link is this one: https://www.teepublic.com/user/dinah-lance. if my redbubble account gets reinstated, i'll add that link eventually too. and as always, thanks for loving this blog and for loving fashion like i love fashion, even when i post crazy looking stuff, and thanks for helping. you have no idea how much your support helps, but it really does, i don't even know if i'd be alive right now if it wasn't for this blog.

[jar0fhoney]

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 (NSFW) / PART 4 /

PART 5 (NSFW)

“What was he talking about? With you and your mother? And the Farm?”

You didn't like talking about it. You had been perfectly content with avoiding that reality until either your mind or your body gave out. Unfortunately, you had a primal will to live like all humans do. Despite how bad you wanted to, giving up was never going to be an option.

"Dad left us two years ago. There was something wrong with him. Now it's just me and mom and it's getting harder for her to work the fields and if we aren't prepared for winter Milo is gonna let us starve or freeze which ever gets us first and I'm having that dream about dad again and- and- URGH!"

You couldn't stop the word vomit flowing from your mouth. Your rant stumbled into an animalistic growl. You just wanted to run and never stop. Run until your feet wore down to the bone.

He kept glancing down at the red marks on your neck, and then back up at you with his big brown doe eyes. Gods, he was so pretty. “May I?” He walked over to you slowly, and you tilted your neck to give him a view. You felt your heart skip a beat when he brought his hand up to gently thumb over your skin.

“I know you don't need my pity. And I know you don't need my help.” He motioned for you to tilt your head to the other side. He didn’t smile or laugh the situation off, just continued running a very delicate thumb over the marks, “But can I ask a favor, y/n?” He looked down at you through your pretty lashes. You gave a little nod.

“From now on. Do not hesitate to ask anything of me. I want to court you… formally. If you will accept me.”

You looked into his eyes, slightly stunned.

“I’ve done a horrible job at courting you. You’re going to teach me to read. You made the eggs. And this whole time you've been... suffering. There's so much that you deserve-”

“You saw an opportunity where I could be making more money, and you helped me get there. I feel like you... respect me. Milo never respected me.”

It took you standing on your toes to connect your lips with his. He was so much taller. You used his shoulders to steady yourself, lowering back onto your feet. Both of your faces were flushed at such an innocent kiss. He leaned down and nudged his face into your neck, you sighed at the feeling of his tusks nudging against your jaw.

“Y/n…” He chuckled your name into the crook of your neck, “I’m gonna hafta’ teach you how to have higher standards, if that bastard is your only experience with courtship.” He peppered soft kisses over the marks on your neck. You accidentally let out a breathy moan at the sensation. He pulled you closer to him. You started to let your fingers wander over his torso. “No…” He stopped your hands as they grazed his lower stomach. Your face grew scarlet red with embarrassment “I- I’m sorry-”

He pulled you into a deep kiss before pulling away. “Not here. Not now. I want to meet your mother first.”

“Quite traditional, are we?” You smirked. He gave a bemused expression, "I'm going to court you the same way orcs have courted since the beginning of time. I’m serious about this." Your heart fluttered.

“Come to our home on Sunday, Khargaad. We can start our lessons, and you can meet my mother.” You took his huge hand into yours, running a thumb over his calloused knuckles. He still couldn’t believe his luck, that this was happening. This lovely little human was giving him a chance… even after completely embarrassing himself at his first courting attempts. You were so smart, so generous, so capable. A mate that he could depend on to have his back, and him yours.

He had been trying to ignore that word that had been floating through his thoughts. “Mate.” He would have to be careful with that one. He would never want you to feel like you were being claimed without your expressed agreement.

-

He offered to walk you home, lending his arm for support on the dark cobbled road. When you made it inside, you watched him walk away until he completely disappeared into the darkness.

“Who was that, y/n?”

You swore your soul levitated right out of your body. The sound of a match striking came from the little dining table on the other end of the room. The cheeky face of your mother became illuminated in the warm glow of a candle. “Ugh- Ma, you scared the shit outta me.”

“When were you going to tell me about your new friend, y/n?”

You stared at her with a stupid look on your face. “What do- What do you mean?”

She settled back into her chair, the corner of her mouth lifting into a little smirk.

“Who’s the orc?”

Your mother spent a lot of time praying. She prayed for your sisters, and she prayed for the vegetables to grow big and juicy. She prayed for her knees to stop aching and the leak in the roof to fix itself.

But when you weren’t home, she whispered a prayer for you with fervor. She wanted you to find someone. She wanted you to find someone that would treat you right. But most of all she prayed that she wasn’t the reason you were sticking around this place. This god-awful place and that god-awful town. She saw your father’s poison everywhere, seeped into every crevice.

“I’m teaching him how to read.”

“Oh?”

“And so he’s coming here on Sunday. And… he wanted to meet you.”

“Oh!”

She probably would've started weeping with happiness if she wasn’t already plotting out your future together in her head. “Stop doing that, Ma…” You jolted her from her thoughts. 

“Stop doing what?”

“Getting ahead of yourself.” You smirked at her, slinking into your bedroom. Sleep came quick for you that night.

And for the first time in a long while, you didn't have that dream about your father.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, I cannot believe so many of y'all are enjoying my silly little story <3 It means so much to me. I ended up restarting this chapter several times cause I was just so stumped, but I'm pretty happy with what I ended up with.

(Note: Do not fear, the slow burn will pay off next chapter iykwim >:3)

@reads-stuff-quietly @loo-looland @sluttygirl123 @beaniebaneenie @blushycadaver @sunndust @whyiamadegenerate @the-attic-of-porcelain @freakyotaku059-blog @youknowits-derea @thoughts-of-bear-undercovers @allthecraftandthings @gruffle1 @kennedyabraxas123 @queenies1x1 @jellyslimesofficial @jasminedragoon @rangoismyname @the-queen-of-sorrows @the-dumber-scaramouche @heddaloddafun @swimmingrascalbatdragon @hellodollstuff @wingedghostpepper @pistachioinfernal

[roosterforme]

The Younger Kind Part 25 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley doesn't know how he will be able to function if Meredith wins custody. As Noah cries in the courtroom, he whishes he would have done more to ensure this never happened. But when he watches you, terrified but supporting him anyway, he knows what he really needed this whole time was you. 

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4100 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

The courtroom was freezing cold. Your blazer was scratchy against your arms, and Noah was already crying. As soon as Bradley had to hand his son over to the court appointed counselor, Noah's tears started flowing. And now you were seated in the front row, right behind Bradley, but you couldn't slide down the bench to get to Noah. You couldn't even look at the back of Bradley's head for too long without feeling like it was suspicious. 

So you sat there and listened to Noah softly ask for his dad over and over again while Judge Greene listed everyone who was present today. When your name was called, Meredith and her lawyer both turned back to look at you with identical sneers.

Stay strong. Stay strong. You kept telling yourself you would handle this, but you didn't even have to do anything yet, and you already felt ready to fold. But the soft sobbing from Noah and the fact that Meredith hadn't looked at her son once kept you motivated. 

Both lawyers gave statements which were largely identical, each one claiming their client would be the better option to raise Noah. But you noticed that while Bradley was fighting for zero visitation rights for Meredith, she was doing the opposite. She seemed willing to have Bradley visit with Noah if she won today. And that made you nervous, because even to your untrained ears, it sounded like she was more flexible than him. She also made it clear she was going to fight for financial support. 

"Lieutenant Bradshaw, please stand and give your statement," Judge Greene commanded. You had listened last night at Bradley's kitchen table while he read over his personal statement with Tracy, but hearing his deep, raspy voice shake now had you squeezing your hands to keep calm. 

"My son turned four on April twelfth. For every single one of his birthdays, I have been the only parent involved in his life. If something needs to be done for him, I do it. I pay for everything. I care for him in every way. He only knows me," Bradley said, taking a deep breath. "His mother abandoned us. Both of us. And I know he's sitting right behind me and listening to everything I'm saying. And I can hear him crying, which is making it really hard to stand here right now. But I also know he has no idea who his biological mom is. I do not think it would be in his best interest to remove him from his home and the parent who loves him."

When Meredith stood to give her statement, you could tell she felt defensive. It was rolling off of her in waves. Her voice was harsh as she tried to make claims that you just couldn't believe. "Bradley has kept my son from me. For years I've tried reaching out to him, and I'm lucky to even get a response. So the idea that I could have abandoned them is preposterous. He never asked me for money, so I never gave it. Had he asked, I would have been more than happy to help provide. But along with that, changes in my lifestyle have meant that I'm ready to take full control of my son's custody. As his mother. And I'm more than willing to work with a court appointed counselor to ensure that visitation rights would be granted. I'm being more than fair. A mother is better equipped to care for her child than a father."

You were shivering in the cold room now, and while Bradley's posture had only incrementally changed, you could tell he was angry. But Tracy looked completely relaxed. How could that be? Meredith was a fucking liar! And Noah was whining for his dad! And nothing that was going on in this room was fair or just. 

The lawyers were going back and forth like a verbal wrestling match now. It was impressive. Mesmerizing. When one of them seemed to have the upper hand, the other made a swift comeback. The only problem was, Meredith was being made to sound like a saint. You couldn't understand why Tracy wasn't going for the kill right now. The sooner this was over, the sooner you and Bradley could take Noah back to his house and let things go back to normal. The three of you eating dinner together would help Noah forget about his tears. You wanted your boys to pretend today never happened.

You watched Meredith's profile as she sat there, completely aloof when Judge Greene called the counselor and Noah up toward the bench. Noah pulled his hand away and ran right for Bradley, tears in his eyes again. 

"It's okay, Bub," he soothed, dropping down from his chair to kneel in front of his son. "It's okay to go with them. It won't even take long."

"I want to go home," Noah hiccupped, looking between you and Bradley, knowing the comfort that one or both of you usually provided him. But none of that came right now. Bradley picked him up and handed him over with a soft kiss on the cheek. Noah wailed as he was carried off to the judge's chambers for some one on one questions with Judge Greene. 

And Meredith sat there like she hadn't a care in the world while Bradley cradled his head in his hands on the table in front of him. Tracy tried to get him to drink some water from her bag, but he wouldn't. You reminded yourself not to look at him too much, and that's when Meredith caught your eye again. She was fighting to try to keep the smirk from her face as she tried to appear serious. You knew what she was probably going to have her lawyer ask you. You knew it was going to be ridiculous. But you didn't like the way she was looking at you like you were the only thing between her and what she wanted. 

When Judge Greene returned empty handed, Bradley scrambled to his feet. "Where's Noah?" he asked, and Tracy was immediately trying to get him to sit down.

"In my chambers, coloring. He's just fine. Now, I'd like to call up some character witnesses."

You waited while three separate people spoke about Meredith like she was sunshine incarnate instead of a woman who left her son behind like he was nothing to her. Then your name was called. You made your way up to the seat near the front, and Meredith's lawyer wasted no time in trying to break you. 

"You're a character witness for Bradley Bradshaw?"

"Yes," you replied, mortified by the way your voice shook. "I am."

"And how do you know him?"

You swallowed hard. "I babysit Noah on occasion." It was the truth, but it felt like a lie. Saying you were just Noah's occasional babysitter was a wholly inadequate representation of what the two of them meant to you. Of how much you loved them. You had to swallow against the sick feeling in your throat.

"Is that all you do when you're watching Noah? Or do you stay? Earn some money by doing things for Lieutenant Bradshaw?"

Cold sweat broke out along your neck and chest, and your eyes shifted to Bradley without warning. He looked irate and red in the face, and you were already embarrassed after less than a minute of questioning. 

"I object!" Tracy called out, waving her hand in the air. "That's hearsay. And irrelevant." 

"Sustained," Judge Greene said calmly, as if there was no reason for you to feel like you were going to vomit right now. "Any further questions?"

But of course Meredith's lawyer had more questions for you. And they were all designed to make you look bad. 

"How did you pay for nursing school? Did Lieutenant Bradshaw offer to give you an outlandish salary to spend time with him? Do you actually have any experience watching a child that age? How are you qualified to spend time with him? What sorts of questionable things did you find in that house?"

You tried to answer each question with calm composure, but soon you felt like you couldn't breathe. Your eyes were burning. You turned to the judge, but she gave you a bland look. You were on your own. So you took a deep breath, determined to finish this even if your voice was shaking again.

"As a nursing student, you must have access to prescription drugs. Do you use them?"

"No!" you said, having had just about enough of this. Bradley was rubbing his hand along his face, barely keeping it together. Tracy was looking at you, eyes pleading with you to hold it together. "I do not steal or use prescription drugs. I'm studying pediatric nursing. I'm more than qualified to take care of Noah."

"Would you be willing to be drug tested?" the other lawyer asked. 

"Absolutely. You want blood? Urine? Hair? Depending on the lab, you could have results by the end of the day." Your jaw was clenched tight. 

"One last question," he said with a smile. "Is it true that you seduced Lieutenant Bradshaw? And that you're pregnant with his child?"

The audible gasp that came from you mirrored Tracy's. Bradley was now gripping the edge of the table in front of him. You were shaking as you said, "I'll take a pregnancy test, too."

You would do it if they made you. But it didn't seem fair. Your relationship with Bradley didn't have anything to do with how he cared for Noah. It didn't have anything to do with how qualified you were to babysit. Tears filled your eyes, but you had promised Tracy you wouldn't cry. You watched through blurry vision as she jumped to her feet and approached your seat. 

"He's badgering the witness with irrelevant questions!" she said, and Judge Greene told the other lawyer to sit down. 

Tracy must have been able to tell you were shaken up, because she asked, "Can we take a short recess?"

"No," Judge Green replied with a sharp shake of her head. "Let's carry on with your questioning."

Tracy took her time walking back to the table and gathering her notes, giving you a moment to catch your breath. Your hands were still shaking when Tracy asked you, "Did Lieutenant Bradshaw ever make you feel uncomfortable?"

"No. Never." 

"Did he ever criticize the way you cared for his son?"

"No," you said, your voice sounding stronger now. 

Tracy shuffled her papers and asked, "Does Lieutenant Bradshaw seem to be a loving and caring parent to Noah?"

"Yes," you replied with conviction. 

"Now, can you tell me a little bit about how you injured your arm in the parking lot at Meyer Park?"

You watched the color drain from Meredith's face as you recounted the way she had scared you, forcing you to run to safety with Noah.

"And was that the only time you saw her prior to this morning?" Tracy asked. 

"I saw her yesterday," you replied. "At the grocery store. I thought she was following me."

"Objection!" shouted the other lawyer. 

"Sustained," responded Judge Greene. Your head was swimming with what you were supposed to say and what you were supposed to stay away from. You couldn't remember. And you could barely focus on Tracy. But she wanted you to get to the point. You could tell.

So you blurted out, "Meredith asked me if I was sleeping with Bradley to get to his money. She mentioned a life insurance payout and his expensive car."

"It's actually a Bronco," Bradley muttered, raking his fingers through his hair as Meredith slammed her hand down on the notebook in front of her and started whispering to her lawyer. 

Tracy asked another question quickly while everyone else was distracted. "And what did you do when you left the grocery store?"

She was giving you an encouraging look, so you said. "I looked some things up online. About how her business filed for bankruptcy. And her home went into foreclosure. And she said in an interview after Noah was born that she doesn't have any kids."

"Objection!" the other lawyer shouted again. 

"Overruled," said Judge Greene, and Tracy looked like just won the lottery. "Please continue," she said, brow creased in concern now.

You felt like an idiot as you told Tracy that you used Google to search for information about Meredith, but you just kept going. 

"I found articles that suggest that her business went into bankruptcy because of mismanaged funds. And insider trading with her business partner. They were married, but it appears that he left her."

Every single time the other lawyer tried to object to what you were saying, the judge overruled it. And then Tracy urged you to continue. But you were shaking from a combination of anxiety and fear. 

"It sounds like she has no money," you said, voice quivering again as you met Bradley's eyes. You'd never seen him look so distraught or so hopeful before. He was silently cheering you on, like he knew how strong you could be. So you kept going.

---------------------------

Bradley was practically ready to crawl out of his own skin. He couldn't stand the way Meredith's lawyer kept yelling at you. He hated that he had to sit here in this horribly uncomfortable seat and just listen as your character got ripped to shreds. He wanted to take you and Noah home, order a pizza and watch a movie. You looked like you wanted to cry, but you didn't. And Bradley was so proud of how strong you were.

When Tracy started asking you questions, you sat up a little taller. You sounded a little bolder. And then Meredith was the one in a state of panic. 

"It sounds like she has no money," you said, as you met Bradley's eyes. "That doesn't sound like the right reason to fight for custody of a child."

The room went silent for a second after that. And then Meredith stood up and said, "I've lost everything, okay? Everything! But Noah is my blood, and I have a right to him, too!"

Then chaos broke out. When Bradley stood and said, "Why do you want him now that you're broke, huh?" he felt Tracy's hands on his arm, pulling him back to his chair. 

"Let her sink her own ship," she whispered, keeping a firm hand on his forearm. You were still sitting up in the front, perched on the edge of the seat like you wanted to run. He wanted to scoop you up like he always did, for your own comfort, but for his as well. 

He listened to Meredith rant and try to blame him for everything as her lawyer begged her to sit. He listened to her call you a slut and claim once again that you were pregnant. She said she knows you bought pregnancy tests at the grocery store. So what if you were pregnant? It didn't have anything to do with Noah or Bradley's ability to take care of him. It didn't have anything to do with that fact that Bradley would never abandon a child like she had. 

He watched Judge Greene remain completely calm as Meredith's lawyer finally got her to sit down. Then she stood and said, "Please bring me all written evidence. I'll have my decision shortly." Both lawyers handed her folders before she disappeared into her chambers. 

"Where's Noah?" Bradley asked Tracy immediately, accepting a bottle of water from her. 

"He's with the counselor. He's fine. And you did great."

"I barely did anything!" he growled, worried he hadn't done enough today. He'd done nothing compared to you. As you stood and made your way to the rows of benches behind him, you never met his eyes. He loved you. All he ever wanted to do was protect you from all of this. You shouldn't be here right now. If he lost Noah today, he didn't know how he was going to continue to exist. And you should have had no part in this nightmare. 

He'd forced this on you in a way. Every step he took since he met you led you here. Bradley had tried so hard to cut you out, end things with you, but he was so fucking weak. He should have been more focused on Noah. But he had been. He'd been trying to find someone to date who would make him and Noah complete, or at least better. And despite his initial reservations, that was you.

When he turned to face you, your eyes snapped up to meet his. He'd never be able to thank you enough for everything you'd done for both of them. But he wanted to have the chance. He wanted you to know what you meant to him and to Noah. 

"How long is this going to take?" he asked Tracy, wiping his sweaty palms on his suit pants. He could hear Meredith talking, but he kept himself focused on his lawyer.

"Hard to say," she told him calmly. "Just keep breathing. Focus on your breathing." 

So he did, and when he started to feel sick again, Tracy talked to him. And then Judge Greene was coming back out, and Bradley could see Noah through the door before it closed. Dread rose inside him as the judge had everyone in the room stand. He felt like his limbs weighed a million pounds as he faced the front of the room. 

Every second of silence made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He almost had to reach for Tracy when Judge Greene said, "In light of today's testimonies and evidence plus the collection of evidence I reviewed leading up to the trial, I have reached a decision regarding the custody of Noah Bradshaw."

Bradley had to close his eyes. All of his senses were overwhelmed, and he was afraid he was going to breakdown. 

"The following decision is a reflection of what is in the best interest of the child. Full custody is to be awarded to Bradley Bradshaw. There will be no visitation privileges. There will be no child support owed. The child's biological father is to be his sole guardian."

Bradley collapsed back down onto the chair as he cried. "Oh my god," he groaned, cradling his face in his hands. He was gasping for air as he felt Tracy's hand on his shoulder. He could see Meredith storm out of the room. He could hear you laughing and crying at the same time behind him as the counselor walked back out of the judge's chambers with Noah. 

And then he was out of his chair again, rushing toward his son and scooping him up. "I colored you a monkey," Noah told him as Bradley smothered his whole face in kisses. 

"I love it," Bradley promised him without even looking at the coloring sheet. "It's perfect, and I love it so much." He buried his face against Noah's neck and inhaled. 

"And I colored a unicorn for Princess."

"Yeah?" Bradley asked, holding him tight. "She's gonna love it, too."

"I know," Noah replied confidently. "I told them about how she brings me coloring books and cooks food like spaghetti. And how she plays blocks and reads and can sing good."

"You told them about Princess?" Bradley asked, turning to the back of the room. You were waiting patiently for them, a huge smile on your face as you bounced a little bit on your feet.

"Yep. I told them that she loves me and that you do too. Can we go home yet?"

As much as Bradley wanted to keep you separate from all of this, he needed you the whole time. And so did Noah. He rushed toward you and took you by the hand. "Now we can go home."

------------------------

You unlocked the front door with your key, and Bradley kissed you again. A huge smile was still plastered all over your face as you watched how much he loved his son. He ended up on his back on the living room floor while Noah sat on top of him and laughed. Bradley's suit was a wrinkly mess now as you knelt down next to them. 

"You want spaghetti for dinner, Noah?" Your appetite was back, and you were ravenous. There was no doubt in your mind that Bradley could do with a good meal as well.

"Yeah! And ants on logs!" 

You kissed his chubby cheek and said, "Let me check on the raisin situation." Then you leaned down to kiss Bradley's lips, and he pulled you back for a second and a third. 

He murmured, "I love you," before briefly swiping your tongue with his. You ran your fingers back through his hair and let your forehead rest on his. 

"I love both of you." Then you kissed his nose and went to the kitchen, letting them have a little more time alone as they laughed on the floor. 

As you set a pot on the stove to boil some water, your eyes filled with tears. It felt like a combination of stress and relief and happiness. You sank to the floor with your back to the cabinet and cried. When you left the courthouse with Bradley, Meredith was nowhere to be found. Bradley had hugged Tracy with tears in his eyes, and she promised to be in touch with him soon to take some final actions. And then she told you that you had done a great job of staying calm and presenting evidence against Meredith while acting as a character witness. "I wish everyone was as professional as you."

Her words echoed in your head as you remembered that you didn't live here with Bradley and Noah. Not really. You were still going to need to finish writing your final papers for school and start looking for a job to support yourself. Because contrary to what Meredith thought, you hadn't been fucking Bradley to get him to pay your tuition. You had a mountain of loans to pay off now. And really, it would be better if you left after dinner tonight and went home. You'd have to get used to a routine where Bradley was your boyfriend with his own space. 

Noah came running in a minute later as you wiped your eyes. "I'm hungry," he informed you, sitting down on your lap. Bradley walked in without his suit coat on. His shirt sleeves were rolled up. His tie was loose, and his top few buttons were undone.

"How about I make dinner and you just supervise?" he asked, pulling you to your feet. "You had a long day, too."

So you nodded at him, and he picked you up and set you on the counter. And then he set Noah on your lap and started the playlist you made. You showed him how to brown the meat and add the sauce. You showed him how to keep the spaghetti noodles from sticking together.

And as he was plating the food, he paused and looked at you. "I forgot. I picked something up at the store the other day for us to celebrate with. Wait here." He dashed out of the room, and you slipped down off of the counter with Noah in your arms. You finished getting the spaghetti onto plates and pulled out the carrots to make him some ants, and then Bradley was back in the kitchen with the biggest bag of Skittles you had ever seen.

Laughter bubbled out of you along with another sob. "I'm happy, but I can't stop crying."

He tossed the Skittles aside and grabbed you by the hips. "That's because you really care about us. You always have. And you saved us today."

The prickle of his mustache against your skin had you parting your lips for him. He held you close, his thumbs stroking you through your pants as you worked your fingers through his hair. "I love you," he rasped, releasing your lips in favor of whispering the sexiest, loveliest things in your ear while Noah made a huge mess of spaghetti at the table. 

--------------------------

Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh! Hope you enjoy your fic, @beyondthesefourwalls And thank you @mak-32 !

PART 26

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@swthxrry

@chassy21

@yaboid19

@solacestyles

@avoirlecoupdefoudre

@daisyhollyxox

@throwinsauce

@awesomebooklover17

@wintercap89

@whosyourgnomie4

@rosesinmars

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@wishfulwithwine

@backinwonderl4nd

@tetragonia

@gingerbreadandpaper

@emptyloverofmine

@chaoticassidy

@missmirandafe

@changlingkhat

@sugarcoated-lame

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@andycanbeemotional

@heli991113

@k-k0129

@noz4a2

@tallyovie

@shanimallina87

@starlightstories

@teddyluvs2sing

@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

@lilyevanswhore

@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o

@xoxabs88xox

[tf2heritageposts]

i’m putting this all into one post so i can stop reblogging the extremely long one buuuuut

we need money for many reasons right now, most importantly we need 600 dollars in order to get our dorm room for college so we can escape our horrifically shitty environment, where we (but not limited to):

get emotionally and verbally abused on the hour to the point we have a straight up dissociative disorder from it going on since we were four

have a batshit insane mom who holds literally everything against us and also is in control of our scholarship

absurdly christian grandfather who keeps trying to make us christian again

and our grandma who does the brunt of the screaming and threats to us

not to mention being trans/gay in florida where we are constantly misgendered and shamed for being queer

we have straight up proof of them doing it too, but we won’t send it here because that’s more for when we sue them later in life to be honest

so please help a bro out

cashapp: $theteufortdozen

venmo: @ theteufortdozen

kofi(we also do commissions if you want something in return, we work fast and good for cheap): https://ko-fi.com/tf2heritageposts

gofundme: https://gofund.me/58ac50c1

https://gofund.me/58ac50c1

please reblog, and if you can, donate

[noveauskull]

Reader, jiyan and Geshu lin daughter bringing her boyfriend to meet their parents. OVERPROTECTIVE DADS ALERT❗❗❗

Jiyan & Geshu Lin With Your Daughter As Her Father(s)! (SFW)

"Mom, Dads, this is my boyfriend"

You watched your daughter introduce your two husbands, Geshu Lin and Jiyan, to her boyfriend that you had already heard about a few days ago.

Naturally you had to be the calmer parent, cause you knew that Geshu Lin and Jiyan would be taking on the task of going bonkers over their daughter growing up so fast, to the point she has found someone to be with.

Even worse, your daughter could take inspiration from your love life, and might just date more than one boy! Now the anxiety really hits.

You glanced at both of your sides, on your right was Jiyan, and on your left was Geshu Lin. Both men sitting on each side of the couch with their eyes locking in with the younger male individual, they clearly were not pleased.

"He works as an intern at the hospital, aiming to be a nurse there, and his parents have respectable jobs too! His mom is a teacher and his dad is a lawyer! And he can play 3 instruments! Isn't he talented?"

Your daughter boasted over her boyfriend. You watched the young man blush at her words and scratch his nape, telling her to not shower him with too much praise over something he was simply born with.

You let out an awkward smile. You already knew the boy was a total sweetheart, he was respectful, and even offered to help you when you had to clean the dishes.

Even better, he asked to bring home some of the dishes you cooked on your first meeting, you can't imagine your daughter being with any other guy than him, because you were already a hundred percent supportive of their relationship.

"A teacher, lawyer, and nurse? Your family must be very rich" Geshu Lin said, smiling at the boy, but for some reason, it didn't feel friendly at all.

"A-Ah yes, their jobs do help them earn a lot of money, especially when they've been doing those jobs for a long time" The boyfriend said, stuttering when he saw Geshu Lin's smile drop the moment he spoke.

"That's good then, at least our daughter has someone to buy her all the jewelry and clothes she wants" Jiyan nodded, however he wasn't smiling one bit.

"..."

The room went silent, all you did was take a small sip of the tea you prepared. Glancing at the two men beside you with their cold eyes glaring daggers onto the poor boy's head.

Before you knew it, it was only you and your daughter doing all the talking, the 3 men in the room barely had anything to say, but Geshu Lin and Jiyan seemed very calm, so you didn't do anything to disturb their thought process.

Once it was getting late, you bid your daughter's boyfriend goodbye, watching your daughter plant a kiss onto her boyfriend's cheek before he left as you closed the door.

"Well I think that went well" You said, smiling at your daughter who seemed very happy about today's performance.

"Yeah! Dads' were super chill about it too" The two of you laughed together, heading to the living room to watch TV.

What you two didn't realize though, was that the two men that were usually at home wasn't around, you were just too relieved to even notice that the two were outside the house, both standing beside your daughter's boyfriend.

"Make sure you treat my daughter very well, she doesn't like guys with no sense" Geshu Lin said, his arm wrapped around the boyfriend's neck, earning a nod from the boy who was awkwardly smiling at him.

"And don't forget to tell us everything you're doing with her, that includes where you are going, what you are eating, why are you going out with her, and when will you pick her up and drop her, don't leave any details either" Jiyan added, his arms crossed.

This continued on for an hour before they heard you calling for them, noticing that they haven't been around the house for a while.

And this is the nicest behavior the two gave towards the boyfriend, just know, if things ever goes south, the poor boy would definitely face his consequences if anything happened to their daughter.

-----

A/N: Hope this scenario was good enough! Ty for the request! 👐👐

[thedailydescent]

IMPORTANT! Do Not Scroll 🍉

So since April I've been trying to spread awareness for Enas Alghoul's fundraiser, found under the Gaza Evacuation Fund Relief Fund page, which was verified by the Ottawa4Palestine team.

The fundraiser was created by Dina Zaazaa on behalf of her friend's cousin Enas Alghoul who is a single mom in Gaza:

Enas wants to save her daughter Rahaf Shammout from the suffering they've been going through since October 7th. Before the genocide started, Enas ran a sustainable business where she worked with 5 women on reusing leftover fabric from factories to make children's clothing, purses, accessories and cat cots. Like all other citizens of Gaza, Enas and Rahaf deserve to live a decent life ❤️. She wants to cross the Rafah border to Egypt, but can only so if she pays US$ 7,500 for herself and her daughter. Her family outside of Palestine was able to send only $2,050. Any money that I raise, I will transfer to my friend Mervat (Enas's cousin) in Oman, who will deliver the money through merchants in Gaza. She has already successfully delivered the $2,050 to Enas. If you had a chance to try and save 2 lives in Gaza, would you? Any amount is highly appreciated and no contribution is too small ❤️

They have reached $5,130 of the $14,300 goal, but donations have been slow and I've been getting worried.

MATCH ME: I have donated $10 today. Can anyone match that amount, or even $5?

Please reblog this either way. If you can reblog my fandom posts, you can reblog this!

I am tagging @brutaliakhoa @northgazaupdates @allthecanadianpolitics for further reach as I am a small blog. If you know anyone who can help spread the word you may tag them as well.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

All In 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power imbalance, low self esteem, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: you meet a mysterious man on a night out with your sister. (petite!reader)

based on the winning option for this poll

Characters: casino owner!Bucky Barnes

Note: told myself to slow down, didn’t.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You finish your cocktail before you go into the concert hall. Roxie grabs a third and you pass, not wanting to run back and forth to the bathroom. Besides, you don’t really like the way the vodka stirs in your stomach and little behind your eyes.

The band is decent. You don’t know any of the songs and only vaguely heard of the artist they are a tribute to. Still, you enjoy the live show; you focus on their instruments and how they use them. You always wanted to be musical but never had a sense of tone or melody.

By the end of the set, you’re yawning. Your sister is on her fourth drink and you can’t tell if she’s swaying to the music or if it’s more than that. As the rows empty, you shuffle out with the rest of the concert goers. The bright lights of the casino greet your squint and your ears pulse slightly from the noise of the strumming and crashing show.

“Mm, so, what’d’ya say?” Your sister makes almost every word into one, “how do we spend this?”

She fishes out the chip and you give a sheepish frown. You almost forgot about it. You still think you should turn it in. You don’t feel right spending someone else’s money. You do that often enough, much too old to be living off your mom.

“Don’t be boring,” she warns, “jeez. It’s just cards. Odds are, whoever dropped it, would’ve lost it to the house anyway.”

She claps her hand around your shoulder. You pull back the sleeve of your cardigan to check the time. It’s after ten! You haven’t been out that late since... ever.

“I’m not boring,” you cross your arms and shrug her off. “I just... am different than you.”

“Boring,” she repeats. “You can’t spend all day in your room.”

Yes, you can. And you do.

You don’t argue. When she’s like this, it’s only bound to become a scene. There are too many strangers around for that.

“Black jack,” she declares and spins the coin. It slips from her grasp and falls between her feet. She bends over shamelessly in her dress to pluck it up. “Come on, let’s clean up.”

She struts ahead and you shuffle after her, nervously wringing the strap of your purse. Hopefully she loses it quickly and you can just retreat home in defeat. You catch up to her as she reaches the stairs. She giggles as she leans on the railing and you take her other arm, trying to support her wobbly steps.

“Want another drink?” She asks.

“No, think we’re good.”

“We?” She scoffs, “I’m fine.”

“Please, Rox, let’s just find a table,” you peek around as her voice rises a bit louder than you like.

“Pfft, fine, but if I win, I'm getting a drink.”

You nod. Go along to get along. That’s what your mother always told you when it came to your sister. She’s more like your father than she cares to admit.

You get to a table and she sits easily on the high seat of the tall stool. She lays down the single chip and the dealer offers to break it into smaller ones. She nods and shrugs. You envy how smoothly she just breezes through things.

You stand behind her. You don’t want to take up a seat and the stool is too much of a climb for you. You can see it wobbling as you attempt to hitch yourself up with the crossbar. You’re good, you shouldn’t get comfortable.

You listen to the shuffle of cards as your sister murmurs something you can’t make out. You can only hear the low drone of voices as you stand back. You sidle out of the way as a man claims the empty stool beside your sister. He buys in and another hand is dealt. Hasn’t she lost yet?

The man leans into your sister and you grimace. She turns her head to listen to him and she giggles. Your cheeks blaze hotly and you cross your arms and rock. Neither seem to notice you as they get closer and closer.

As the game progresses, you can only really make out what the dealer says; the different numbers that have grumbles coming from other players. You bring your hand up to pick at the button on your cardigan. The man puts his arm around your sister’s back, his hand on her hip as wiggles in her seat coyly. What about Tom?

You peer around awkwardly. Do you stop her? Remind her of the boyfriend that got her the tickets for tonight? You bounce in your flats and pause as you find someone else staring back at you. Or are they? Just as quickly as your eyes meet, the stranger’s eyes flit away and he’s back to chatting with another man. It’s the very same man who gave you the chip. Maybe her forgot you. That’s not a surprise.

You return your attention to your sister. The man has moved his arm between them and your sister squirms. You watch his elbow as he pulls his hand back. He’s touching her leg. She’s wiggling and suddenly, she shoves him away and screeches.

“EH! I got a boyfriend, perv! I said stop.”

Her voice carries along the high ceilings and you cringe. You back up, cowering away as she stands and the stool teeters dangerously. She fists her hand and you think for a moment she might just hit the guy. He scoffs and turns in his seat.

“Babe, just wanted to buy you a drink.”

“Whatever. You fucking creep!” She hollers.

“Ma’am,” the dealer calls from the table, “is there a problem?”

“Y-yeah,” she hiccups, “this dude had his hand up my skirt.”

“She’s drunk,” the man shakes his head, “listen to her.”

“I’m--” your sister’s denial catches in her throat, “doesn’t mean he can just touch me.”

“Ma’am, if you’re drunk, we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”

“I’m fine. I'm not that...” She slides off the stool and stands, grabbing the chips in front of her seat and tossing them across the table. “You’re all a bunch of crooks.”

Her ankles tangle as she spins and she barely gets her balance before she storms away. Her strides are uneven as she bobbles drunkenly. You watch after her with wide eyes before you follow. She leads you into the bathrooms as she growls and grumbles. She slams into a stall and you stand outside.

You wait until she comes out. She’s quieter and her eyes are hazy. She washes her hands and applies a new coat of lip gloss.

“What a bust,” she pouts and rolls her eyes, “one more drink and we’ll go.”

“Maybe we should just leave now.”

“That guy was such a pervert,” she sneers at you, “you saw where his hand was.”

You nod, “yeah, I did...”

“So, you know I wasn’t being dramatic.”

“Yeah, but... everyone heard.”

“Oh fuck off,” she pushes your shoulder and stomps past you.

You feel bad. It’s not that she shouldn’t defend herself. You admire that she can, but she didn’t need to be so obnoxious. You trail after her into the casino. She heads directly for the bar. You hang your head and wait behind her. This time, she doesn’t offer you a drink. She’s mad at you now so it’s the silent treatment.

“Honey,” another man approaches, “how about I get that for you?”

“Huh?” She babbles, “oh, sure, baby, that’s sweet.”

The man offers his card to the bartender and orders a highball. He leans his arm on the tall bar top as he faces your sister. She bats her lashes at him and giggles as she pulls her drink closer.

“What’s your name, gorgeous?” He asks.

You blink. It’s like you’re not even there. You watch awkwardly, wishing the floor would swallow you up. Instead, you find an empty stool one seat away.

“Roxie,” she answers as you struggle up onto the seat. “And you, handsome?”

“Sam,” he returns, “what’re you drinking then?”

You notice him touch her glass along the brim but can’t see much else around your sister. She replies and his own drink is served. You shrink down and sigh. She’ll get her free drink and then you can just leave. You hope. You hold your chin as you dread another scene.

“Can I get ya something?” The bartender approaches.

“Er, water, please,” you choke out. He seems disappointed but gets you a glass.

You try not to overhear your sister and that man. It’s awkward and you hate this. It’s not the first time she’s done it either. The few times she’s brought you along, you’ve somehow become a third wheel. It reminds you of when you were kids and your mom forced her to take you with her somewhere. She doesn’t actually want you around, she’s genetically obligated.

“Woah, baby, you okay?” The man raises his voice and your sister’s body slumps. Shoot. No.

You barely get off the stool as the man clings to her drooping body. She giggles wildly as you tweak your ankle and rush over. That man, Sam he called himself, seems somewhat calm given the situation.

“Slow down, babe,” he chortles, “Jesus.”

She’s drunk. You knew she shouldn’t have had another drink. Your eyes meet Sam’s and he squints.

“You know her?”

“My sister,” you murmur.

“Oh, right, well...” he clears his throat and looks around, “you can take care of her then.”

“Wait--” you barely keep her up as she leans on you as she’s almost sideways on the stool.

He’s just leaving you? What the heck? You guess if he can’t get anything out of her, she isn’t worth the effort.

You sniff and struggle to slide your sister down to her feet. She’s heavier than you expect and her height makes her difficult to balance. You glance over as the bartender nears.

“Everything okay?” He asks sternly.

“We’re leaving,” you assure him, “sorry.”

“Five minutes,” he taps his watch face, “or I call security.”

You nod and move your arm around your sister’s back, “please, Rox, gotta work with me.”

She laughs again, “hey, where’d that cute guy go?”

“Please,” you beg again, “don’t...”

“Oh, hi,” she touches your faces and squeezes your cheeks, “baby sister.”

You hate when she’s like this. She’s always been a drinker, ever since high school when her friends would sneak out bottle from their parents’ stash. What was once an act of rebellion as a teen is now concerning as an adult.

“Excuse me, everything okay?” The timbre makes your heart drop and you nearly let go of Roxie as she leans in the other direction.

You look up. Oh god. It’s him. That dark-haired man in his expensive suit.

“I’m just... we’re on our way out--”

“She alright?” He points at your sister.

“Tipsy,” you utter.

“I see,” he pushes his hair back as it slips forward, “can I help?”

“Uh, you don’t--”

Before you can answer, he has your sister’s other arm. He almost lifts her entire weight off of you as he supports her against his shoulder. Your entire body is emblazoned in humiliation. You refuse to look above the floor as you’re certain you must have an audience.

You get your sister across the floor and into a hallway. There's an exit sign ahead but you're all turned around. The man stops you and Roxie.

"Where'd you park?" He asks, "this leads to Lot 5."

"Oh, uh..." you blanch. You hadn't thought of any of that. You slouch under Roxie's weight and try to see around her. "I'm not sure but... I don't drive. She was supposed to."

"Ah," he clucks, "and now she can't."

"Right," you agree glumly, "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Why?" He asks.

"I didn't think... I let her--"

"Did you let her drink or did she make that choice knowing she was supposed to get behind a wheel?" He challenges.

"I guess... yeah. Sorry."

"Really, doll, no need to keep going on like that," he dismisses, "well, it's late and I can't in good conscience let you wander out with her like this. Especially if you don't have a way home."

"I could..." you begin. A taxi? You'd have to ask your mom to pay the driver when you get home. "Why would you... care?"

"Well, as the owner of this establishment, it won't look good on me if two pretty girls left and went missing," he chuckles then stops himself, "sorry, that's not funny. I just... we overserved your sister obviously so it's on us."

"Owner?" You gulp. You didn't think this could be any more humiliating.

"Bucky," he reaches around you sister.

You hesitate. You can't shake his hand properly as yours is around your sister so you just sorta grab his hand briefly and squeeze two fingers, retracting with another raze of embarrasment. You barely squeak out your name.

He repeats your name before he continues, "I'll get you two a room so she can sober up."

"What? No. That's... too much."

"It's late," he insists, "here," he pulls Roxie away from you as her head lolls and she snorts. He lifts her against his chest, carrying her easily. "I know a back way, just follow my lead, doll."

"Ummmmm," you drone and he waltzes back the way he came, hardly detered by the drunken body in his arms. You can only kick yourself and scramble after him. This night could not have ended any worse. Well, you guess it could if it went the way he suggested.

[creedslove]

WHO KNEW? 💍💔

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: You and Joel had been married for a few months when he broke things up with you because he'd fallen in love with someone else, Sarah's mom. You parted ways but more than a decade later you end up meeting Sarah and that leads you to face your ex-husband one more time

• Inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request ❤️

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, asshole!Joel, divorce, infidelity, pregnancy, fluff (a little, maybe?) age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want)

A/N: Hi guys!!! I got obsessed with this story ever since I received that ask and turned into a headcanon but it wasn't enough, I had to write a longer, fuller version of this story! I think it's so appealing because we are all used to Joel being our knight in shining armor, always the perfect husband/boyfriend and well, here we can see another part of him. It's not a crime to fall in love with someone else, but the way he broke reader's heart was very mean. Also, I didn't specify reader's profession, just keep in mind she studied A LOT and now she makes good money, but feel free to idealize her job the way you want. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, besties ❤️

10.6k words

You never really understood why some people told you getting married so young would be a mistake. It didn't make sense to you, at all. You and your soon-to-be husband Joel, were young, yes, but you loved each other deeply. You figured it didn't take much more than that to make a happy marriage.

You were fresh from highschool, always had good grades and it didn't take long for you to be accepted in many different institutions, and yet, you decided it would be a good idea to take a sabbatical year in order to get yourself sorted out, maybe get a job and save up some money and enjoy your marriage a little. Joel was very supportive of you, even if he knew you would eventually leave for college and you would both have to make it work long distance.

Joel was just a couple of years older, he'd just left the military and he also needed to know what to do in life, in order to support his wife, he didn't have the book smarts his girl did, but he was kind-hearted and hard-working. He also hadn't planned on getting married that young, but before he could even try to make any sense out of it, he was deeply in love with you.

So Joel proposed, you said yes, his dad helped him get a small, but cute house and the two of you started your new wed life.

For the first few months, everything was a bed of roses; you were so in love, that man was simply intoxicating. His touches, his kisses, his body, his smell, everything about him was addictive to you and you couldn't be without it.

You had found yourself a part time job as a sales clerk at a baby clothes store at the mall, just as Joel was working as an apprentice in the construction business, it was a very hard job, and just in a matter of a couple of months, you saw your boyfriend becoming bigger and more muscular. He worked hard for you, for your relationship, your marriage and the future family you would build in a couple of years. Even if your friends had told you it was madness getting married so young and your family had asked you not to do it, everything was just fine, what could go wrong?

Every single day, Joel would come back home, tired from work, and he would be welcomed by you in your fullest housewife version. Dinner all ready, house spotless clean and a loving wife dying to be in his arms. He would not disappoint you, taking you into his arms, lifting you up, pressing you against the wall, his kisses were so urgent, so needy of you, his hands roamed all over your body as you felt his cock throbbing. Every night next to your handsome husband Joel was a delight, it was your personal piece of heaven, nothing could stop the two of you when you were together, but eventually, it happened.

You didn't know exactly how it started, or when for that matter, it was all a thick fog in your mind, being unable to say precisely when your marriage began falling apart. Perhaps it happened sooner than you thought but you were just too naive or too blind to see; first thing you noticed, were the kisses; they were gone. No kissing before going to work in the morning but you shrugged it off, thinking that maybe Joel was just in a rush to get to work. Though you really missed them, your skin seemed to burn and ache for his touch, you didn't want to seem like a clingy wife, or nag him with unimportant things. Whenever he came back from work, he was still all yours; that's why it took you long enough to notice it.

Every evening, he came back with the same hunger he felt, only this time, he didn't seem to have felt that hunger for you per se, more like a desire within that needed to have you to help him relieve it.

He took you every single night, he gave you pleasure, simple, raw, indifferent pleasure. You didn't actually remember the last time you actually made love, because everytime Joel touched you, he always had you on your hands and knees for him, always fucking you on your back. At the time you thought it was just some kink or something like that, but now it was pretty clear to you it was just the easiest way for Joel to close his eyes and pretend you were someone else.

It was just simply fucking, a means to get to an end.

Then, he began getting home later and later, sometimes he would be too late for dinner, or he would just skip it entirely. Never explaining exactly what he was doing or why he was spending less and less time at home.

"Sorry babe, just had a sandwich with the guys"

That's what he would say before shrugging and going straight to the bedroom; not taking his time to actually see you'd cooked his favorite or that you were starving because you'd waited for him until that hour. The weekends weren't different at all, at first, right after you two got married, you'd spend the entire day in bed, just enjoying each other's company, each other's bodies and love; caresses full of affection carried with lust, turned into nothing more than just a memory some months later. Every weekend Joel simply got up, had breakfast and told you he was heading for work; and he would spend the entire day there, no phone calls to let you know he wouldn't be back for lunch nor calls to tell you he would grab a few drinks with the guys.

Always the guys, and as much as you tried to convince yourself it was indeed just one drink, or a burger, or a soccer match with the guys, your heart was sending you signals, trying to warn you there was something seriously wrong. Yet, you chose not to believe it, you told yourself it was actually kind of cruel of you to have such thoughts about your poor hard-working husband. What kind of wife would you be if you became paranoid while Joel was just working hard to provide you a good life?!

Joel was so busy with his work he barely even noticed when you asked for a double shift on Saturdays. Not that you liked working at the mall, but if you were going to stay alone all the time, you figured you would at least earn some money. Maybe Joel was just stressed about having to put up with the bills all by himself, you reminded yourself. Perhaps things would be back at what they were in the beginning, you were now marking six months of marriage and you knew this wasn't supposed to be happening. Your husband wasn't supposed to be that uninterested in you, he wasn't supposed to be indifferent towards your presence or so ungrateful, and yet you decided to fight for his love, after all, you loved him more than anything, more than anyone, it was an overwhelming feeling but you simply couldn't move on from it.

You waited for Joel another night, you'd made dinner, but of course he said he wasn't very hungry because he had grabbed a bite to eat with the guys.

Your heart clenched, he didn't kiss you, nor held you, it was like you were two different people sharing the same house; not lovers, not husband and wife, perhaps not even friends anymore. It felt each time more and more empty next to Joel, but you tried. You sat down and had dinner on your own, as he glued himself to the TV, watching whatever it was on. You knew him enough to know his mind was drifting away, thinking of something or someone, you weren't sure, the only thing you were a hundred percent sure was that he did everything at his willpower so he wouldn't have to spend time with you. It hurt, like a knife piercing through your chest, it was humiliating and you still didn't know why you were insisting. You swallowed after dinner and walked to the couch, he was nearly asleep and you ran your hands through his hair, feeling how soft his curls were; you had missed dearly times like that, it had been only a few months prior and yet, it felt like an eternity. The way your Joel would come to you, crave your touch, and just overall pay attention to you, unlike the haunting reality that you had to face, in which your husband simply began to ignore you, as if you weren't much more than a shadow, or an invisible and yet quite annoying presence. You looked down at his sleepy and peaceful form, he always looked so young and innocent when he slept it always warmed your heart.

The tip of your fingers ran through his scalp once more, he had always loved that particular display of affection. Minutes passed while you stroked his hair, you could feel Joel shifting softly under your touch, satisfied groans coming out like purrs as he began to slowly open his eyes

"Angela.." he murmured under his breath, but it was loud enough for you to catch it.

At that moment you felt as if you'd lost all balance, gripping the couch and staring at him in disbelief

"Who's Angela?" Your voice suddenly loud and serious, making Joel snap away from the sleeping haze he was in and stare into your eyes. He was carefully not to give it away immediately

"What are you talking about?" He got up from the couch, determined to turn his back to you

"You said a name. Angela, who's she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Y/N, stop being crazy"

Your blood boiled at the accusation.

For months all you did was try to be the perfect housewife, you cooked, cleaned, worked and brought home the little money you made in order to win back your husband's attention, not only that, you didn't want to have to give away to everyone who told you you would be making a mistake by marrying so young. It had been so difficult to actually admit to yourself your marriage was at a risk, and now you just had enough proof. After months of indifference, your husband was now mumbling another woman's name; as if it wasn't bad enough, he was trying to make the tables turn by accusing you of being crazy. That was so typical of men, but not of your Joel, you thought he would never do that, you were so sure he was honest, honorable, a decent human being, he wouldn't hurt you on purpose in order to prove his point. Or so you thought.

"Don't you fucking dare call me crazy, Joel Miller, for the past couple of months you haven't given a shit about me, you're never home, you never spend time with me, you don't hug me, don't kiss me, you don't even fuck me anymore, and now you are mumbling someone else's name? Who's she? Is she your mistress? How long have you been with her?"

Again, you tried being strong, you really did, but your voice cracked, and the tears threatening to escape now ran freely down your cheeks, he'd walked away from you, but you managed to corner him in the kitchen, you were tired of being blinded by your own feelings, at the same time you were tired of being played by Joel, he had no right to act that way.

"Answer me, Joel!!! Who's the fucking whore?!" You yelled at him, the impatience and anxiety creating an explosive combination inside of you. You were so close to solving the mystery that haunted you at the same time you didn't wanna hear any further word. You just wished you could close your eyes and make all that away, you wish you could just wake up and see the last couple of months were nothing but a nightmare and that you still had the same good old loving Joel Miller as the best husband in the world; instead, he simply groaned, rubbing his face and looked down, not having the courage of look at you in the eyes.

"She's not a whore, don't call her that. I-We.. we're in love. I met her at work, she's the receptionist there and we hit it off… she's gorgeous, funny and I fell for her" he swallowed not sure where the strength to be honest with you about his feelings was coming from, but it was enough to make eye contact "I've never cheated on you, Y/N, I haven't slept with her yet, I haven't even kissed her, but I think she's the one, I wanna be with her, I'm not gonna lie to you anymore"

"You don't love me anymore?" That was all you could ask, out of all the cruel and raw information he suddenly threw on you, the only thing you could register was the lack of feelings from the man who swore to love you forever one day.

"Jesus, Y/N, let's not do this now" he groaned, wanting to shift all that anger towards you, somehow blaming you for what happened so he wouldn't be consumed by his own guilt. He wasn't blind, he knew you loved him, he knew you waited at the door for him every single day, with dinner ready a pie in the oven and giving you those sad, heart eyes in hopes of receiving his affection once more. You reminded him of a puppy, as bad as it sounded, all it took you to be happy was a crumble of his love. What angered Joel was that you weren't satisfied with just crumbles, you wanted more and more from him, and he was unavailable; he simply couldn't give it to you, because his heart belonged to someone else. He hadn't planned on that happening, if it were up to him, he would've honored the vows he took on his wedding day, but Angela walked into his life without a warning and swept him off his feet. He couldn't stay with you out of pity, you deserved to be happy and so did you, but you weren't meant to be together.

"Do you love me or not, Joel?! Did you even love me?" Another grunt from his lips, you were so frustrated you didn't know how to rationalize, how to wrap your head around the fact he proposed to you, he had promised you the world and yet now he was treating you as if you had never mattered to him. His cowardice made you sick, he wasn't even man enough to look you in the eyes, you felt so angry a part of you was glad his body blocked your access to the silverware set because if you got your hands into it you knew at that moment you were willing to make a mistake. You gripped his shirt, slapping his chest and scratching him in a sloppy way, demanding answers from him. He could stop you at any moment, Joel was bigger and stronger than you, but he let you have your moment of hurting him out of pity, before calming gripping your arms and pushing you away

"I guess it's obvious I don't love you anymore, I love Angela, it's not my fault, it just happened, but I'm sure I want to be with her, you and I can't keep lying to ourselves, you can't keep lying to yourself, we're over, just as the love I felt from you, it's over…"

•••

You didn't remember much more after that. Some flashes of the following days, where the initial shock was still going strong, the waves of sadness mixed with anger, how Joel gathered some of his clothes and left the house that same night - probably to go to Angela's, how you refused to eat for the couple of days, you didn't talk to anyone, just spent your time alternating between crying yourself to sleep and actually sleeping, were just moments of blur. At some point you remember Tommy - Joel's brother checking up on you just to make sure you were alright. Tommy was the youngest of the Miller brothers, he was said to be the inconsequential one, but he would never do what his older brother had done.

Only after a few days Joel stopped by the house you once had shared, he had heard from his brother the pitiful mess you'd become because of him, and though a part of him didn't have the courage to ever face you again, another part - a more honorable one - insisted on it because he had to give you some kind of explanation. So after work, he didn't drive to Angela's like he'd been doing for the last few days, becoming his sweet routine and bringing so much joy now that he was free to love her just as much as she wanted to love him. Instead of going to his happy place, Joel drove back to the house that used to be his home for a while, a place where he'd been happy but it hadn't been enough for him. It was funny how he expected things to be drastically different, because his life had taken a dramatic turn just as yours had, and yet, things were just the same, or they appeared to be at least. He got off his truck, seeing that not a lot had changed, but this time there wasn't music coming from the house, it didn't smell like fresh cooked dinner, simply the living room with the lights on were the only thing that showed there was still someone in the house.

When he walked in, he expected to see you crying, depressed and begging him to get back, but much to his surprise, all your bags were already nearly packed and though it was visible you'd had some rough time by dark circles under your eyes and how pale your skin was, you welcomed him with a emotionless expression on your face, pointing at the couch, so he would take a seat and you could talk things through. After all the crying and suffering, you felt as if something had clicked and suddenly you went from heartbroken to numb. You knew the swirl of feelings would come and go, but taking advantage of your numbness, you put your head into place as best as you could and packed all your things, you didn't want to stay at that place surrounded by Joel memories, knowing he'd left the place you once called home and you were both so happy and also so unhappy in a short span of time. You wanted to put yourself back together, heal from him, forget he ever existed, go back to studying and focus on yourself only. But for that to happen, you wanted closure, not only wanting, you needed closure.

His low apologies combined with the rambling that came out of Joel's mouth was getting on your nerves, why couldn't he man up and actually tell you what he needed to in order to finally close that chapter in your lives.

"If you're not getting straight to the point, I will, Joel… I packed my bags, I am leaving this house, it's yours, your family managed to help you with it and I wouldn't feel comfortable living here. I'll go to college as soon as the next semester starts and I'll be waiting for the divorce papers, sign it as soon as possible, and pretend this never happened"

"Wait… what?! You want to divorce?!" Joel was quite shocked, not that he didn't want to divorce, because he did, so he could finally be officially with Angela, but he didn't think it would be that easy for you to agree, let alone be the one suggesting it.

You laughed. It was a dry, ironic laughter, because honestly, you didn't think Joel was that much of a dick, it was fascinating how he broke your heart and he still found a way to have his ego bruised by the fact you wouldn't accept being in a submission position, that you wouldn't cry and beg for him.

"What did you expect Joel?! That I would stay here, legally married to you, cooking and washing your dirty underwear while you go out of the door and keep cheating on me with that whore? Seriously? That's how low you think of me?"

"I already told you she isn't a whore and I have never cheated on you, that's why I want to divorce, us getting married was clearly a mistake and it's not my fault if I don't love you anymore.."

"So whose fault is it? Mine?! Do you really think what you did isn't cheating, Joel? Just because you hadn't fucked her while we were still together, but you had spent time with her, emotionally connected with her, fuck, just the fact you let her get closer to you even though you were married, that's cheating! You say it isn't because you don't want to feel guilty, but deep down inside you just know it is! I agree with you on one thing, though: our marriage was a stupid mistake, because of you I delayed a whole year of my life, I almost sacrificed my future because I really took your words and believed them, that we would be together, I never thought out of all the people in the world, you would be the one to hurt me! I trusted you, do you even know how many times I cried and sulked because I blamed myself for your behavior? The amount of times I felt guilty for even remotely considering the possibility of you having someone else? Because in my mind you'd always been the perfect husband and yet, you were backstabbing me day after day, with that slut!"

"Don't you fucking call her a slut! She's not a slut, she's not a whore! It's not her fault if you are a petty envious woman!"

"She is a slut Joel, I'm sure of it, because if she had any decency she wouldn't have come closer to a married man, my husband! She is probably excited about the thrill, but I'm certain that once the reality hits and she sees herself locked inside having to carry out chores everyday, take care of the house, the husband and even the kids if you two ever come to it, it's not gonna be as fun, and then you'll meet her for real. I don't wish you anything bad, but god help you if you ever have to face a disappointment as big as mine"

You dried your tears and began removing your wedding ring, it was quite pricey taking into account how complicated your financial situation was. You intended to return it to him, but the mere thought of maybe Joel taking the ring and handing it to his former mistress and soon-to-be official girlfriend, was enough to make you nauseated. You gave up removing it and left the ring right there.

"I'm leaving this place tomorrow, you can send the divorce papers over to my parents' and I hope I'll never see you again, Joel"

•••

You wished you could say that was the last time you ever saw Joel Miller in your life, but unfortunately, things weren't too easy for you. Only two months before you could finally enter college and forget about the disastrous year you had, you were working double shifts at the mall, in hopes of saving a decent amount of money for yourself. It was supposed to be another lazy evening, in which you would have to kill time until you could go home, you had just had your break and as you walked back into the store, you couldn't help but pay attention to your left hand. The wedding ring still there. It brought you shame and embarrassment, the mere fact you left it there. You often lied to people and to yourself by saying it was a way of keeping disrespectful customers away, but the truth was, you just didn't know why it was so hard to do it. It felt like a weight you couldn't get rid of, a part of your life that seemed like nothing but delusion.

You were scared of removing that ring, it was a sign that Joel wouldn't be much more than a memory to you, and even if you knew that was exactly what you needed, your heart still yearned for him. It wasn't fair, to still love the person who had hurt you the most, burying deep those feelings but also knowing they were there was nerve wracking.

You were ready to get back to work, just about to enter the store you were so used to spending your whole day when you felt paralyzed.

"What do you think of this one, darling? Do you think our baby will like it?"

It was Joel's voice.

His voice.

Darling.

Our baby.

You stopped yourself right there, too far away from their distracted eyes, taking in all the colorful and beautiful options they had before them, but also close enough so you could actually hear the conversation. Joel Miller was going to be a dad, it was a fact, you weren't having a nightmare that you were about to wake up in cold sweat at any minute, instead, he was there, with her, the woman he dumped you for, the woman who was now carrying his child. Under the shelves you'd been hiding, you could only catch a glimpse of her baby bump, and the way Joel's hand rested over it in a protective way. It was enough to make your stomach upset, your eyes burning with the tears that once more insisted on appearing. He had moved on from you, much faster than you had moved on from him; their happiness could be beautiful to anyone, but to you it was disgusting, infuriating, they had no right to come to your place of work and be so glad about life itself.

You couldn't actually see Angela's face, all you were able to watch from where you stood was Joel's hand on her womb, his right one, but the moment he rested his left one on her waist, you gasped softly. The wedding ring was gone.

Joel wasn't feeling that comfortable about being at that particular store, though it was the only decent baby clothing store at the mall, he knew you worked there or at least used to; but Angela wanted new baby stuff and he was going to be a dad, so it was his duty to take her and help her sort things out. He thought of you, not having seen you or listened to your voice in months he sort of missed you? He couldn't lie to himself, he was glad to be divorced, he was happy in a relationship with a baby on the way, but you'd been important to him too, he wished things didn't have to end the way they did, he has gotten used to living with you, seeing you, kissing you, touching you, it was natural that he missed the dynamics you two had established. A part of him sort of wanted to run into you at the store, he wanted to see how you were doing, if you were taking good care of yourself, but it was a relief to everyone you weren't there. It would be just awkward and embarrassing to be baby clothes shopping in front of you. And of course, he never wanted to hurt you more than he had already done it, but you would have probably interpreted it as provocation.

He scratched down his head while Angela picked all her favorites, Joel tried hard not to pay attention to the price tags, money was still a delicate matter for the two of them, but he had managed to get some by selling his wedding ring. Of course the pair would've been worth a lot more, but he couldn't go after you to ask for your ring, so he just negotiated his own and took the money. It wasn't the ideal situation, but in a few months they'd welcome the tiny little person that would become the most important thing in Joel's life.

You were too hurt to continue watching their display of happiness, you turned your back to the place you were hiding and you returned to the small break room. That was indeed the last time you'd seen Joel Miller; that was it until you also met someone who brought chaos but also colors into your life.

•••

"Aren't you too old to sell cookies door to door for school?" Joel asked while chewing his scrambled eggs and slurped his coffee, watching as his daughter rolled her eyes at him

"Aren't you too old not to eat your vegetables?" She snapped back at him in their usual morning routine.

Sarah was a teenager, much to Joel's sadness, as he still had serious attachments to when she was younger. He knew it was part of life, and watching her blossoming into a beautiful young girl made him proud and hopeful about the future, he knew his sweet Sarah would go far. But that also made him scared, because no matter how irrational it was, Sarah always reminded him of you; and he knew that if any guy ever dared to do to his baby girl, what he did to you, he would be really to kill him in no time. Joel Miller would like to think he had improved a lot as a human being, after all, he wasn't a young man anymore, he was a full grown adult, who had to get himself together and mature after he was abandoned by his girlfriend with a newborn baby. Life was full of irony and he was one to witness it, being left by the woman he loved and trusted a little more than a year after he was the one who walked away from someone who loved and trusted him. It was what everyone said: karma is really a bitch.

Through the years, Joel really felt an urge to call you, perhaps ask you to meet him, so you could catch up and he could finally apologize to you, but he had lost all contact with you. In fact he had no idea what you were up to through the decades, the few times your parents ran into him on the street or at the grocery store and made sure to ignore his presence and pretend they'd never met. He just couldn't approach them and ask for your phone number. Besides, what would he even tell you?

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you the woman I left you for also left me, so now I'm a lonely single dad and I realized I took you for granted and maybe if you ain't busy, we could go for a cup of coffee or something?!"

It would be just straight up stupid, not to mention he was sure you would've found someone nice, someone worthy of you, probably you'd be married by then, perhaps you'd have a kid or two, and he was sure you'd be an amazing mother, because he just knew you were an amazing wife, and he was the only one to blame for not treating you the way you deserved it.

So Joel decided it was best if he pretended nothing ever happened just like you did with him, of course destiny had other plans.

He gave Sarah a ride to school and went to work. It would be another busy day, like all of his days, in which he would work hard in order to save as much money as he could, wanting to assure his daughter the future she deserved. For Sarah, it meant another day of classes and selling cookies. She didn't like the activity, but she didn't hate it either. In fact, on that particular day she felt kind of excited as she was about to head towards the 'good' part of the neighborhood, where most houses were big and seemed expensive. Getting her backpack and her stash of goodies to sell, she left home and went on with her day.

You, on the other hand, hadn't planned on coming back to Austin so soon, as the years turned into a decade, and then a little bit more than that, you had dedicated yourself fully to your academic and professional life, focusing on yourself only, managing to bury deep your memories of Joel and never paying attention to anything remotely close to a love life.

Yes, you'd had relationships, affairs, and you'd been with a few guys: one of them was Javier, he was a handsome but very slutty cop who you had a no-string relationship with; it was good for a while, he was handsome, sexy and he fucked like no other, but he had a taste for women that unabled himself to keep it inside of his pants. You liked the freedom, but that was too much.

You also dated a guy named Dave for a brief period, he was nice, also painfully handsome, a tiny bit mysterious about his high profile government job, but he wanted a family, not just another relationship. He wanted marriage and kids, and you were just out of it in no time. The last straw was when you were traveling back home and during one stop for dinner at a small, cozy bar, a guy dressed entirely in cowboy attire came onto you. It was the undeniable proof you weren't made for relationships at all; it was like Joel Miller had casted a spell, or worse, a curse on you: it had become impossible for you to be in a relationship. Still, that wasn't your main concern, not more than why you had to move back to Austin after all those years shifting from New York to Boston, Texas and even a brief period in Spain which led you into an affair with another guy named Javier, but well, that was definitely another story. You'd simply got a phone call from your parents talking about a family emergency and once you had asked for a leave, your boss had mentioned the opportunity of you working for the Austin branch, it was a promising one, with a lot of chances of career growth and becoming the head of the office would actually come in handy, so you had no other option than say yes and pack your stuff. When you got back to Texas, despite the suffocating heat, you were also welcomed with suffocating news of your grandmother's passing, and a couple of weeks later, the news she'd left you a house in the suburbs, a real good area with many families, easy traffic and a lot of space. Having become an apartment person over the years, you first thought it was so odd to live in a house, especially by yourself. Everything seemed so big but now you didn't have to worry about having to clean it all, being able to afford someone to do so, you found your way by decorating everything exactly the way you liked it, using the spare rooms to build your home office, your closet space and a guest room, you slowly turned grandma's house into your own. However, the exterior still bothered you: there was a great space in the backyard, but the swimming pool was empty and dirty, and you could definitely have a barbecue area built so you could welcome your friends and family on weekends. As it wasn't your priority, you didn't bother so much about it, turning your attention to settling into your new office first.

•••

"Oh, hi ma'am, I'm selling cookies to help our school fund, would you be interested?" Sarah displayed a wide grin, hoping that would soften up the very annoyed looking old woman who opened the door. She noticed how the old lady looked at her up and down and just groaned a 'no' before practically slamming the door shut. Sarah sighed and shook her head, and there she was thinking the people who lived in the wealthier part of the neighborhood were more generous, but apparently they were just a bunch of snobbish cunts. Her stomach growled in hunger as she walked some more, she knew she should've eaten before going to sell the cookies, but she didn't have time at that moment. She insisted some more, knocking on another door, having no clue she was actually knocking on her father's ex-wife's door.

Sighing tiredly as you closed your laptop, you looked around and focused on what you would do next. You knew you needed to go grocery shopping soon, but you just didn't feel like driving to the store and pick up vegetables, so instead, you left your study and went to the living room, getting comfortable on the couch and groaning slightly the moment the doorbell rang. You were just so comfortable on the couch, you considered ignoring whoever was on the other side of the door, but for some reason, a slight wave of guilt made its presence and you obliged to answer whoever was disturbing you.

"Hello! My name's Sarah Miller and we're selling cookies for the school fund, would you be interested?" The smiley girl repeated her memorized speech the moment you open the door, she discreetly watched you, seeing you didn't seem so closed like the woman from the previous house, but still she wasn't sure if you were friendly, not when you stared at her with a seemingly shocked look.

Miller.

Her name was Miller.

Your heart raced and lost track of what she was saying, knowing you desperately needed to get your shit back together; Miller wasn't an uncommon name at all, quite the opposite, you had met a few people who also coincidentally had the same last name as your ex-husband, so your reaction to the girl's name was just absurd. Maybe it was because you were back in Austin, where everything happened, but then again, you reminded yourself Joel wasn't the only person named Miller in Texas.

"I-I'm sorry… I got distracted but yeah, I'll take two boxes" you smiled at the girl, she was a teenager, a very pretty one, she was pretty good at expressing herself though she looked exhausted and sweaty.

"Would you like to drink some water?" You offered her, feeling sorry for her at the realization she had probably been walking under the sunlight for quite some time. Sarah didn't think twice before nodding eagerly as she stepped inside, dragging her school bag and her cookie cart along. You let her in, finding sweet how she looked all over the place, taking in the different details from your home and enjoying that environment.

You guided her to the kitchen, getting her a tall glass of iced water, frowning at the fact she wasn't following you anymore. Instead, she stood in front of your bookshelf, looking at it up and down, trying to take in as many titles as she could. Sarah would love to have her own bookshelf like that, she loved reading ever since she was a little girl and though she used the school's library a lot, she thought the idea of having her own things was appealing, but she understood her dad couldn't simply splurge on books for her whenever she wanted to.

"Do you like books?" You asked her, walking closer and handing her the glass of water, which she killed with only a few gulps.

"Have you read all of them?!" Her surprised voice made you chuckle, she was such a sweet girl, you had no idea why you instantly liked her, but you did.

"Well, not all of them… I've just bought some of them and I haven't had the time yet, why? Did any of them interest you?"

"Well…" she said shyly and hesitantly ran her fingers through them, only pulling one out to read the description at your encouraging nod. "This one seems nice…"

"It is nice… do you want it? You can take it!" You smiled at how she blinked a little confused but nodded, so thankful for your kindness. Even if she didn't know you, Sarah already liked you. She smiled at the book and placed the glass down.

"Have you had lunch?" She shook her head shyly and you smiled "come on, I'll make you a sandwich…"

For the next hour, you and Sarah talked about several things: she told you about her school, her interests and how much she loved reading. She had assured you she would return you the book as soon as she finished it and you assured her she could borrow as many as she would like. She also briefly talked about her family, mentioning she lived with her dad on the other side of the neighborhood and you told her a little bit more about yourself.

She widened her eyes the moment she saw what time it really was, and quickly grabbed her backpack and the book you'd lent her, thank you several times as she walked towards the door "go before your mom gets worried about you" you told her without much thinking, but she shrugged "mom's not around… I live with my dad only, but it was really nice meeting you, Y/N"

•••

And for the next month, at least once a week you'd get a visit from Sarah. It had become a habit of hers to just stop by, spend a couple of hours with you, return you the book she'd borrowed the week before and get a new one. She didn't talk much about her family, it was mostly about school, friends and boy crushes and books. You were kind of suspicious she was missing a feminine figure, since she briefly told you her mom left a couple of months after she was born without looking back, you picked up the hint she wasn't open to talk about it yet, and you respected it. You were glad you unexpectedly got a new friend, a very young friend, and at first you thought it was kind of odd, until you realized she sort of resembled a daughter figure to you. After all, if you had had children with Joel, your child would be around Sarah's age.

Joel also thought it was kind of weird his daughter made an adult friend, he was well aware of how dangerous things were in the world, especially for young, innocent girls like Sarah, but when she told him her new friend was a woman, single, childless woman, who was nice, definitely had some money but also seemed quite lonely, he assumed she was one of those old cat lady kind of women; in his mind, his daughter's mysterious friend was probably a widow, who didn't have any kids and now had to approach random people for attention so she wouldn't be alone all the time. If only he knew how wrong he was, he would've asked your name, but he didn't. And he also knew he should've done it, perhaps even asked for your phone number so he could call you in case of god forbid, an emergency. But he worked so hard, not only that, he was going through a very stressful period too, so he didn't pay as much attention as he should have towards several things.

Sarah had become acquainted with several aspects of your life, from the time you spent together in your weird version of a book club. Mostly the conversations were about her and the struggles she often faced as a teenager, but sometimes you let out information, plans or complaints here and there. It wasn't different the day you were very displeased with how your backyard was looking; it had potential to be a beautiful place but it needed fixing and remodeling. Perhaps it'd been the stress at work, but for whatever reason the way that place looked was bothering you and making you cranky, if any other given day you wouldn't give a crap about it, but at that moment you did, and not only that, you mentioned it to Sarah, who tried to be useful and told you she could ask her dad to take a look at it, after all, he was in the business and could help you with it. You said yes and told her you'd be expecting the two of them on Saturday morning. Only when the girl had left happily carrying another book in hands, was that you realized that maybe, and just maybe, you should've asked her father's name.

•••

"So, you're really sure this friend of yours wants to get some stuff remodeled? And that she can afford it?" Joel glanced at Sarah before focusing again on the street as he drove to her new friend's house. He wasn't truly convinced you would actually want to hire his services, it just seemed too good to be true. He held back a smile at the way Sarah rolled her eyes at him, she'd told him hundreds of times that yes, you needed someone to repair and remodel the backyard, if anything, he could at least indicate you someone who could provide the service you were looking for.

"Fine, let's help the old lady then" he grunted at the same time his daughter turned to him "what old lady?!"

"Your friend… isn't she old? I mean, she's lonely and she lets you hang out… I thought she'd be like our neighbor an-"

"Dad, she's younger than you, I think! And she's pretty too…"

At that information Joel was more curious about you. Why was a pretty young woman all alone and willing to be friends with a girl who could roughly be her kid's age?! Were you really pretty? And did you really want your backyard remodeled or was Sarah playing matchmaker? He really hoped she wasn't, otherwise he would be very angry. Joel didn't need a new relationship, he didn't want to, having failed the two major ones he had in his life, the first one being so immature and cruel to his sweet young wife and the second one he didn't exactly where he screwed up, perhaps he had just been naive and thought the woman who wanted nothing more than just some fun was actually willing to build a life with, or maybe he wanted her to take over your place, after all, you'd set the bar pretty high for Angela when it came on being a dedicated housewife. The raw fact was that Joel was alone all those years later, his first wife was hopefully living her best years with someone who truly deserved her and Angela was God knows where but he didn't give a single fuck. She'd been dead to him from the moment she walked out of his door, denying her own baby, and all that passion he felt turned into hurt and anger. Unlike the feelings he had for you: as the years passed and he grew older, he thought of several times he could've treated you better than he did, he thought of how he would have tried not hurting you as much as he did, even if the situation the two of you were was tricky, he often fantasized about a version of your marriage where he hadn't ruined everything, where he had been honest without being cruel, without playing with your feelings, he didn't know if it was just his conscious weighing heavily on him or what, but he always thought of you with affection and love. At that time he was sure he didn't love you anymore, the passion he felt for the other woman was too intense, too much, it blinded and deafened him from everything around, everything that mattered the most to him at the time. But all those years later, Joel was sure the love for you was still there, perhaps it was just hidden away, or it got stuck under all that shit that went on, still, he didn't know who you had become, what you looked like or where you were at that moment, so it was a fairly assumption he was still in love with a memory and nothing more than that.

"Fine, so what's her name after all?" He questioned his daughter after some moment of silence but before she could answer, Joel parked his truck in front of your home.

You heard the engine and you went to the window, checking the unknown car parked in front of your place and though you couldn't actually see them inside, you knew it was Sarah and her dad. Just as you went to the door, he exited the car, his back to the entrance as you walked to them and greeted Sarah, at the sound of your voice he immediately turned around and the two of you froze in time as you watched each other there.

Joel.

You felt as if you were trapped in a weird dream, the ones you know you are just dreaming and yet you can't move or speak, just taking the role of the audience of a bizarre picture that formed before your eyes. Joel on the other hand, stared at you in complete silence, you couldn't really read him, it was impossible to know what was going on in his mind, in his heart, you could just feel his eyes roaming over your body, taking all the image of you as if he was trying to make sure you were actually what he saw in front of him. He couldn't believe it, after all those years, after everything he did to you, you were there, beautiful as you'd always been, even more so, the fancy lifestyle really suited you, he could tell by your clothes, your nails perfectly done, your hair looking gorgeous and styled nicely, you had succeeded, you had had a life he knew he could never provide you, and for that he felt kind of relieved, at least one good thing came out of your divorce: the chance of you having the success you deserved it, you weren't that housewife who needed to still work part time at the mall, you were above that now, and Joel was so damn proud of you for it.

"I-I.. yo-"

"Nice to meet you, you must be Sarah's dad" you interrupted him before he could say your name and extended your hand to him, pretending you'd just met. He was confused but you tilted your head very discreetly towards his daughter, being sure she didn't know anything that had happened between the both of you. He immediately picked up the hint and introduced himself, as if you were meeting for the first time. His hand engulfed yours like it always did, Joel Miller had always had big and strong hands, surely they got calloused through the years, but you knew damn well what they were capable of doing to you. He was older, looking more handsome than you thought he would, he aged like a fine wine, streaks of silver here and there but the majority of his hair still dark and soft like always, he was bigger too, he was stronger, broad and grew several muscles, all of it a result of years of hard-working. No matter if he had broken your heart, there was no denying he was an extremely attractive man.

He appreciated how heartfelt you were towards his daughter and gladly followed you inside once you invited him into the backyard to discuss what could be done. Sarah was right behind the two of you, but you turned to her, smiling big

"I went to the bookstore yesterday and I think you might enjoy what I bought, wanna take a look at it? They're all in the living room" you suggested to her who nodded and happily went after the books.

Once you and Joel got into the backyard, he stuttered some apologies but you immediately cut him off.

"I don't want apologies Joel, I didn't know Sarah was your daughter and I probably wouldn't have let her in if I knew who she was, but now I got attached to her and I hope our situation isn't going to prevent us from being friends" you told him honestly and watched as he nodded

"You know, her mom, Angela, she left us and I'm very sorry I left you for her.. "

"I don't wanna hear it, Joel. As I said, I don't wanna hear it about her mom or the apologies or anything at all, I mean, Sarah told me what happened and it's enough, you and I aren't together anymore, we're better off without each other, so let's just overcome this part and focus on the job I need you to do…"

"You know, I can indicate you another contractor to do it for you, so it won't be weird…"

"No, you can do it, unless you are feeling uncomfortable but other than that, I'd rather you do it, besides, Sarah would find it awkward"

And like that, Joel got into his professional mood and the two of you discussed the project you had in mind, hiring his services, he told you he could start the next Monday and he would take care of it himself, to make sure things would go according to your wishes. He noticed you didn't wear any commitment rings, nor there were pictures of you and any guy indicating a relationship and in his heart, the hope of perhaps taking you out for a coffee and getting to know you, the woman you'd become after those years, after growing mature and changing your life completely, growing in his heart. It was a fair assumption Joel had an immediate crush on you, the feelings he held within, were now blossoming more, at how beautiful, intelligent and attractive you were and suddenly, the roles were reversed: if more than ten years ago you had it bad for him, now he was the one who felt like a sick love puppy towards you.

The first week of working wasn't so bad at all, Joel would arrive at yours earlier than you expected and would start working. You didn't stay around much, letting him do his job while you were probably working in the living room or any other part of the house whenever you didn't have to go to work per se. He tried making small talk during some of his breaks and since you didn't see any harm in it, you chatted briefly, that was how he'd learned what you did for a living, where you'd been after you left Austin, and stuff like that. He told you some things about his life, mostly about how it'd been the experience of raising a child on his own, but whenever he got near bringing up your past or trying to apologize, you'd cut up any kind of interaction with him. At the end of the day you and him had nothing but a professional relationship. He understood your reasons, and yet, he hoped you would find at least a small breach in your heart to let him in, he really hoped he could show you he was a better man now, that he could be suitable for you, and yet, you kept yourself all the way distant and protecting yourself from him.

So it became a very common scene to always escape from Joel, moving seats or rooms whenever he was around, you didn't know how else to act, what he expected from you. It wasn't like you were old buddies catching up after years in a long-distance relationship. And he always got displeased.

It was about the third week of working at your house, he asked if he could use your kitchen to have lunch, heating up the food he'd eat, you smiled at yourself as you were taken back by the memories of times where you would prepare him lunches and send it in his lunchbox, how you would worry about him being hungry so you would always make sure there was something fresh out of the oven for him to nibble on as soon as he got home from work and chuckled softly, shaking your head and excusing yourself. He'd thought you would at least have lunch next to him, but you weren't willing to do that at all, and that both pained and pissed him off.

"Would it kill you to spend time with me? Look at me? Or act like a human being instead of being all stiff like a robot whenever I'm around?" He asked, breaking the silence, you could see he was frustrated and that puzzled you to no end.

"What are you talking about, Joel?!"

"You don't talk to me, Y/N, I try making small talk, you don't answer me, you don't even look at me, suddenly I'm not worth your time? You're too good to even acknowledge I am next to you?"

"Do you really want to talk about not being worth someone's time? Really Joel? I thought you had grown up during all these years but I can see you are just the same shallow fuckboy who gets pissed off when you see I'm not crawling towards you…"

"Stop being unfair to me! All I'm trying to do is to show you I've changed, I am a better man, a better person, I'm not that same immature Joel you met so many years ago, I'm trying to make you see I'm a new man…" he went from angry to desperate, you took a step closer and looked into his eyes, not breaking the eye contact for one second.

"I know Joel, I know you've changed… you've grown into this hardworking man, this amazing father, I can see it, I hear it every time Sarah comes over, but you don't have to try too hard, it's not gonna change anything… You and I are two different people, we have nothing to do with each other anymore"

"You can't say that, I want you to see we could try it again, I still love you, Y/N!"

"Joel, we'll never try it again, the marks of your betrayal still linger here, all over me, forgetting you was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I don't want to ever feel it again. You don't love me, Joel. You love the idea of me, of picking up the shattered parts of your broken life and making it right, you love the thought of building up a family, of giving your daughter the mom she deserves, and it's all because it didn't work out with that woman. We both know it… if she hadn't left you wouldn't even be thinking of me" you looked down, trying to hold back a tear that insisted on falling, but failing at that matter. "I wasn't good enough to be by your side, to build a family with you, you can't just expect me to throw myself into your arms as if nothing had happened, what exactly do you think would happen between us in the first place? I'd be waiting for you every single night with dinner ready? Those days were over, Joel…" you sniffed and he sighed, placing his hand on his waist.

"Give me a chance, go on a date with me, please… before you say no, just think about it, of what we could have together… please! You don't have to answer me now, think about it and when I finish the job, you can tell me your answer"

•••

The following weeks were as normal as they could be; you hadn't told Joel yes but you hadn't told him no either and even if it pained you to admit it, you sometimes thought of his proposition. Sarah was still coming over, your bond was now stronger, you really liked each other and despite everything that happened, you were thankful Joel wasn't against your friendship. You two had agreed on not telling her anything about your shared past at the moment, but in case you two decided she needed to know it for whatever reason, Joel would be the one to tell her, it would only make sense. You also thought about his words and you decided to be nicer to him, actually stopping to talk to him, or having lunch next to him instead of rushing away as fast as you could and in retribution, he stopped with the feelings talk. The deadline was coming to an end, as your backyard remodeling was getting prettier and prettier each passing day. It was odd and awkward and you wanted to get things over with as soon as possible at the same time a strange fascination with watching Joel caught you. It was hard to explain, but when the final day came, when Joel and his assistant showed you the word ready and done, and after you paid them the large wage you owed them for the services, your ex-husband asked to talk to you. He had hope in his eyes, he was wearing his flannel, and he'd combed his hair a little, which made him look painfully handsome, your heart clenched. Even before he could say anything, you already had your answer. He stood in front of you, baffled at the fact you threw your arms around his body, pulling him for a hug. His hands locked around your waist, strong grip not wanting to let go, while you sank into his warmth. He was your old Joel, the one you'd loved so deeply and broke your heart, but nonetheless your Joel.

Taking your hand to his face, you stroked it gently, feeling his beard scratching your palm a little and you smiled "I forgive you, Joel… I don't know if you wanted my forgiveness or not, but I forgive you anyway, I don't resent you anymore, what's gone, it's gone and now we can only focus on our future. I know that if I tried looking for a space in my heart, I would find it a part that still keeps all the love I felt for you, but we've changed, for the best and that teaches us we should never make the same mistakes from the past, so you do understand why we can't go on this date, right? We can't be together, I'm sorry Joel, but you know it's true… I just need one last thing from you…"

You told him, leaning towards him and pecking his lips. After all that time, it still felt like your favorite place in the world, your heart raced the moment he groaned into your mouth and his hands tightened his dominating grip on you. It was quite pathetic how he still had the same effect over you and if he hadn't hurt you as much as he did and condemned you two to a relationship based on lack of trust, perhaps you could even consider trying again. Forgiving and forgetting were different things, whereas you didn't resent him anymore, you hadn't forgotten about how broken he left your heart. You would never be able to trust him again, always worrying he had found someone better like he did once, you couldn't do that to yourself, you loved yourself too much to go back to Joel Miller. That last kiss you cherished, you would keep it in your memories, but it wouldn't go further than that. You and Joel were done for years and nothing would convince you otherwise.

____

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it 😭💔

[aemondapologistfrfr]

Table 13 & Cherry Pie

modern!mechanic!benji x stripper!fem!reader

Summary: Working two jobs to support your mom’s medical bills is already hard enough and of course your car breaks down at the worst possible time. A flirty stranger you meet at the diner offers you help with no strings. Everything seems too good to be true and before you know it, it seems as if it all comes crashing down. 

Warnings: 18+ mentions of long term illness, swearing, cigarettes, oral(f receiving), questionable clientele but nothing in detail, p in v, unprotected, a fight but nothing too intense 

Authors Note: request from @chainsawsangel that i thoroughly enjoyed writing and working on 🥰

Word Count: 8k 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

I curse at any higher power that’s out there for allowing my car to break on such a vital day. I shove some cash into the taxi drivers waiting hand and take a deep breath before heading into the hospital. I calm my nerves as I adjust my visitors pass before entering my mother floor. The “inspirational” quotes littered across the wall seem to only aggravate me today as I push through the door. I spot my mother’s doctor and walk up to him. 

“How is she?” I nibble my lip looking at my mother fast asleep in the hospital bed. 

“She did well with the more aggressive treatment we used today. She’s a fighter, don’t worry.” he lays a hand on my shoulder and I slink out of his touch. 

“Did finance come up here looking for me?” I wince looking around the floor. 

“No, we tend to keep those vultures out of this space. Your mother is our first priority. We know you’re doing everything you can.” his eyes linger a bit too long before I slip into my mother’s room. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here on time.” I say softly holding her hand in mine. “You’d be giddy to know that your “hot doctor” called you a fighter and had nothing but praise of you.” I pull my normal chair closer to the side of the bed. 

“My car broke down on the way here and I had to wait forever for a taxi and tow to show up. I’m sorry I let you down again.” I curse the tear that falls down my cheek. “I have to work both jobs tonight, as usual. I’m hoping when I get here tomorrow you’ll still be up.” I kiss her forehead and close her door behind me. I internally groan as I walk to the elevator so I can stop past finance on my way out. The receptionist waves at me as I walk past to the desk I’ve become all too familiar with. 

“Lovely to see you, Y/n. What can I do for you today?” she smiles pushing back from her computer. 

“I only have half of this month’s payment. If I could get an extension. Even just a couple of days. I’m sure I can figure something out.” I pick at my nails as she sighs. 

“Something’s better than nothing.” she grabs the envelope from my hands. “I can only give you an extra ten days.” she looks to me with a patronizing smile. 

“I’ll make it work. I don’t have a choice.” I inhale deeply trying not to let my tears fall. “Thank you.” I nod to her before leaving her office. As I walk outside I let the tears flow as I pull out my phone to waste money on another fucking taxi. I sit on the ground crying until the taxi shows up. I get to the diner with fifteen minutes to spare and push through the front doors seeing that the room is full of customers. 

“Get changed and clock in.” my boss shouts from the grill. 

“Yeah,” I wave him off heading to the back. I pull my black uniform out of my locker and change quickly. I secure the apron around my waist and head to the mirror to deal with my tear stained face. I give up and throw my hair into a bun and walk out into the main area. I type my numbers into the computer and then look around to see which table I should head to first. 

“Thirteens been waiting for a while.” my coworker shouts at me so I grab a glass of water and head over that way. 

“I’m sorry about that wait today, sir. Is there something I could get for you right away?” I smile before I feel my heart skip as he looks to me. 

“A coffee for now.” he smiles up at me. 

“Any cream or sugar?” I fiddle with my pen as I try not to trail my eyes all over him. 

“Yeah cream, thank you.” the way his eyes crinkle has me melting on the spot. 

“And are we waiting for anyone?” I point my pen to the empty booth across from him. 

“Not unless you’d like to join me?” I know my blush is visible now as I turn back to him. 

“Oh I- I would but,” I internally scream at me falling over my words. 

“No worries, baby. Maybe another time.” I nod as he smirks after me as I go back to the kitchen. I pour his coffee and grab a jar of creamer before I walk out to him. 

“Coffee and cream.” I set the cups in front of him as he thanks me. “Can I get you something to eat?” I pull out my pad and pen. 

“What’s your favorite thing here?” he hums looking up to me. 

“Probably our cherry pie. It’s perfectly sweet and tart. Unless you meant like actual food.” I nibble my lip scolding myself because of course this man came here for food and not just pie.

“I’ll try your cherry pie.” he chuckles and I don’t miss the way his tongue darts against his lower lip.

“Anything else I can get you?” I offer him whatever smile I can muster. 

“That’s it for now.” he nods his head at me as I hustle back to the kitchen. 

“Well are you going to pick up more tables or stick with Mr. Handsome over there?” my coworkers tease me. 

I pick up my pad and start scurrying around the diner. Once I get into my flow I easily can juggle my tables. Once most of them are gone I glance back at table thirteen and wonder how he can possibly still be eating that pie. I see he’s only taken a couple bites and now I worry that he’s hated it. 

“If you didn’t like it I can get you something else?” my hands rest on his table. 

“You said it was your favorite so I figured I would save you some.” I scrunch my brows at his words. “Open up for me.” his voice is low as he brings the fork to my mouth. I shrug and wrap my lips around the fork and moan as I taste the sweet tartness. 

“I’ll go get you your check.” I hum licking the cherry from the corner of my mouth. 

“He’s your last table so finish up and I can get you out of here early.” my boss nods to me. I sigh knowing I need more money but I’m thankful that I can get to the club a little earlier. 

“Here’s your check I can come back when you’re ready.” I nod my head at him. 

“No, the rest is for you.” he hands me a fifty for his ten dollar bill. 

“Are you sure?” I blink at him in disbelief.

“Yeah you’ve earned it.” he slides out of the booth and towers above me. “Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow to try some more of your pie.” he leaves me blushing at the booth as he exits the front door. 

I go back to my locker and change back into my regular clothes before heading out the back. I cut down a couple alleys and side streets and sigh in relief when I start to see the familiar neon sign. I twist my key in the back door and make my way down the steps. The other girls wave at me and smile as I walk past. I make my way to my vanity and plop in my chair and sigh. 

I start to pull my bun out and tease my hair up a bit. I pull out a can of hairspray and get to work on making my appearance more desirable. I go back to my locker and pick out my most flattering outfit since I need to make the rest of my mother’s payment in ten days. As I look in the mirror the club manager walks to me and runs his hands up my arms. 

“When are you going to do private dances? You can make more money that way.” his voice sing song as I roll my eyes. 

“I don’t like when these men touch me.” I look him over before stepping out of his reach. 

“No but you like their money. What about a lap dance?” he keeps pushing the subject. 

“I’ll let you know if I change my mind.” I toss over my shoulder before walking backstage to hand the DJ my song choice. 

The rest of the night is filled with my boss begging me to give a man in the front row a lap dance and me respectfully declining every single time. I toss my outfit into my bag to take home and wash and I’m thankful one of the girls is willing to drop me off at home. 

As I walk up to my sidewalk I sigh at the shell of my childhood home. I slam the door shut behind me before trudging up the stairs to burn my skin in a hot shower before I collapse onto my bed and allow sleep to take over 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Next day

I was able to see my mother for a couple hours today and drop off the money I made yesterday in finance. I wait on the sidewalk for my taxi to get here and smoke a cigarette wishing my life was different. As I see the car pull up I stand tossing the remains. We pull up to the diner and I furrow my brows as I see table number thirteen waiting outside the doors. 

“There’s my cherry pie.” a smile spreads across his face as mine heats. 

“You know they’re open even when I’m not here?” I finally return his smile stopping in front of him. 

“But I’d prefer it if you were here.” he opens the door for me. 

“I’m flattered,” my face must be red at this point. “Go take a seat table thirteen and I’ll be there when I clock in.” 

My boss and coworkers look at me with raised brows as they see him go sit in the same booth from last night. I try not to catch their gaze as I make my way to my locker. I clock him in and head straight for table thirteen. 

“What can I get for you today, sir?” I pull out my pad and pen. 

“Back to sir and not table thirteen?” he offers me a lopsided smile. “I thought we grew on each other, cherry pie.” 

“I just never got your name last night.” I hum looking over my pad at him. 

“You didn’t ask.” he raises an eyebrow with a taunting smile. 

“Table thirteen it is.” I roll my eyes and he laughs. 

“I’ll have the same as yesterday.” he hands me his menu and I leave him trying to collect my thoughts. I’ve never been one for flirty customers but there’s just something different about him. 

“I see your boyfriend is back.” my coworker giggles as I huff pouring his coffee. 

“I can only dream. There’s no way that man is single.” I shake my head bringing his coffee and cream to him. 

“What kind of pie would you like today?” I set his coffee in front of him. 

“What’s your next favorite after the cherry?” I nibble my lip thinking. 

“I think our banana cream pie is a close second.” I nod my head with my choice. 

“Then that’s what I’ll have.” he nods his head with a smile as I head off to the kitchen.

I plate his slice and run it back to him before I start tending to my other tables. Table thirteen only asks for refills on his coffee and I can feel his eyes on me throughout the shift. As I’m nearing the end of my shift I make my way back to him. 

“I was wondering when you would come back for your taste.” my breath catches at his words and he slices a piece of the pie. “I can feed it to you again.” I throw my cares away and dip down savoring the sweetness. 

“Did you enjoy it?” I lick the cream off my lips as he looks to me with dark eyes. 

“What are you doing after your shift?” his voice stirs something deep within me. 

“Going to my other job.” I sigh knowing I have no time to entertain the idea of this man at my house. 

“You’re a busy woman, cherry pie.” he tsks shaking his head. “Shouldn’t your man take care of you?” he tilts his head waiting on my answer. 

“I don’t have time for one. Two jobs, an aspiring artist, and a dying mother doesn’t really pull them in you know?” I feel like weight on my shoulders like bricks forcing me down. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” I shake my head trying to figure out what I was thinking pouring my trauma on this man. 

“What’s something I can help you with?” he grabs my wrist to stop me from walking away. 

“Why do you want to help?” I look at him skeptically. 

“Because I can tell you truly need it.” his voice soft. 

“You good with cars?” a smile splits across his face at my words. 

“I’m the best mechanic around.” his voice full of confidence. “What time are you done at your other job?” 

“Around two I know it’s kind of late-“ 

“That’s fine. Do you need me to pick you up?” he pulls out money for his tab. 

“No my coworker can bring me home. Are you sure? It’s really late and inconvenient and I don’t have any money to offer.” I shake my head. 

“I offered to help where I can. Fixing your car is easy for me.” he slips another fifty into my hand along with his phone. “Put your number in.” 

“I put it under Cherry Pie.” I hand him his phone back. “I’ll be back with your change.” 

“No need.” he waves his hand. “Text me your address and when to come over.” he types something out on his phone and I feel mine vibrate. 

“Thank you,” I furrow my brows and walk back to clock out. 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Table 13: Don’t forget to send me your address. 

Cherry Pie: Home Location

Cherry Pie: I’ll be home around two. If you seriously want to fix my car. 

Cherry Pie: I’d appreciate it, but it’s a lot of me to ask of you.

Table 13: I’ll be there. You didn’t ask, I offered. Have a good shift 🍒

Cherry Pie: omw now if you’re still coming 

Table 13: I’m here waiting for you 😌

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

“How long have you known this guy?” my coworker looks at me as if I’m crazy and I’m starting to think I am. 

“Two days.” I wince. 

“What’s his name?” she sighs shaking her head. 

“I don’t know,” I nibble my lip. “We use nicknames.” I look out the window to avoid her stare. 

“If I wake up and hear about you on the news I’ll find you and kill you myself.” she says parking at my driveway. 

“He’s nice,” I shrug getting out of the car. “And hot so fuck it.” I smile before walking up my drive taking in table thirteens car. 

“How was work?” he rises from my porch swing. 

“Long and exhausting.” I say throwing my bag over my shoulder. 

“What’s your other job?” he asks following me to my front door. 

“Not a lot of people seem to look kindly upon it.” I slide my key in the lock and push the doors open. 

“I don’t judge.” he shuts the door softly behind us. 

“Do you want something to drink?” I turn the lights on in the kitchen and look him over. I take in his tired eyes and start to feel bad. “It’s so late and you’re tired.” I shake my head. 

“I’m perfectly fine.” he nods reassuringly. “I’ll have a water.” he offers me a smile. I grab two waters out of the fridge and begin to lead him to the garage. 

“Here he is.” I flick on the lights. “All broken and sad.” I step in and begin to move my canvases and art supplies out of the way. 

“Do you have the keys?” he turns to me. 

“Yeah one sec,” I run back into the house and grab my keys and hand them off to him. “Do you need anything like help?” I lean on the door frame watching him. 

“Do you know much about cars?” he looks at me with a teasing smile. 

“No but I could hold the flashlight or something.” I look around not even sure if I have an actual flashlight. 

“No, you can just sit there and tell me about your day, baby.” he smiles popping my hood as I take a seat on the stairs.

“I went to see my mom today. She was awake. I gave most of the money I made yesterday to her hospital bills. As long as she gets better though and she is.” I nod looking at the ground as I hear him try to start my car. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he says leaning his head out of the car. 

“Not particularly.” I shake my head looking up to him hoping he can’t tell my eyes are red. 

“That’s okay. Let me know if you change your mind.” he tries to start the car again before he starts working under the hood. “What about the rest of the day?” 

“I went to work at the diner, had some phenomenal banana cream pie, and got some dudes number and I don’t even know his name.” I chuckle thinking about how ridiculous this is. 

“I like table thirteen.” he laughs from my car. 

“I do too.” I hum. “Then I went to my other job where my boss just hounds me to do things I don’t want to do. I’m never forced to do anything but it’s just the constant pressure that is a lot.” I sigh resting my head against the wall. 

“You never told me what your other job is.” he tilts his head to the side. 

“I dance.” I watch as his eyebrows scrunch. 

“What do you mean dance?” I watch him try to twist something before walking back to the drivers side. 

“You know what I mean.” my voice hushed as he turns to me after the car won’t start. 

“You’re telling me that my shy cherry pie is an exotic dancer?” he chuckles shaking his head. 

“It plays the bills especially when they’re medical bills.” I pick at my nails. 

“What does your boss keep asking you to do?” he turns to me.

“I only dance. He wants me to do lap dances and private dances. I don’t want that. Dancing is an art to me and so what if I take off some clothes and get men to give me money for it?” I hate the stigma around dancing in general there’s nothing wrong with it. 

“Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. If your boss makes you uncomfortable he can become very comfortable with my fists.” my eyes snap to his before I stand. 

“No,” I shake my head. “He wouldn’t make me do anything.” I walk up to him with pleading eyes because I can’t lose this job. I’d quit the diner before I quit the club.

“Just tell me if you change your mind.” he nods his head. “I won’t do anything unless you tell me. Go sit back down.” he nods over to the stairs. I sigh sitting back down and watching table thirteens muscles flex as he uses different tools. I have no idea what he’s doing but he looks phenomenal. 

“I think you might be drooling, cherry.” he chuckles watching me stare at his hands. 

“Sorry.” I lick my lips absentmindedly. 

“Come sit closer if you want a better look.” he teases. 

“Have you figured out what’s wrong with it?” I sigh rolling my eyes.

“I think so. I’ll have to come back tomorrow with some more parts and tools.” I scrunch my eyebrows. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to take advantage of your time and work.” I look up to him. 

“I offered,” he goes to touch my cheek but looks at his dirty hand. “I will be here same time tomorrow unless you would like me to pick you up from work?” 

“I feel like that’s too much to ask.” I fiddle my fingers. 

“It’s not.” he starts to clean up some of his tools. 

“Let me know if there’s anything you need or want.” I call after him as he starts to walk to his car. 

“Shut the garage while I’m still here so I know you’re safe.” he leans on his car and waits as I press the button while we stare at each other until it reaches the ground. 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Table 13: I won’t be at the diner today but I can pick you up after work. 

Cherry Pie: Are you sure? I can have my coworker take me home so you don’t have to do extra driving. 

Table 13: Just send the address and I’ll be there. 

Cherry Pie: and you’ll wait in the car and not harass my boss?

Table 13: Yes I’ll wait in the car 🙄 

Cherry Pie: Club Address

Cherry Pie: Thank you, again. 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

As my last song ends I walk off the stage and breathe out thankful to let my body relax. I start to take the pins out of my hair and sit down to take my heels off. I change my clothes and check my phone. I smile at table thirteens texts that he’s here. 

“Don’t tell me you’re smiling at something that man sent you.” she snatches the phone out of my hand. “Table 13: I’m outside waiting in my car, just like you requested cherry pie.” she bursts out into giggles as I snatch my phone back. 

“Let me have some fun.” this spurs her laughter on even more. 

I sigh grabbing my bag and stopping at the refrigerator. I grab out the plastic bag handling it carefully before rolling my eyes at my friend and walking up the back stairs. I find his car and he gets out taking my bags from me. I snatch bag the plastic bag with a smile as he puts my other bag in his backseat. 

“This is a surprise for you.” smile as he opens up the door for me. 

“What is it?” he smiles as he gets in on the other side. 

“You can wait until we get home.” I hum and he chuckles pulling us out of the parking lot. 

“How was work?” he turns down the music and glances at me. 

“I made some good money. I should be able to pay off this month’s bill at the hospital. Though of course my boss always tells me I can make more.” I sigh resting my head on the window. 

“Why don’t you?” his voice soft and curious. 

“I’m not that good at faking attraction and desire. I can’t turn away all the men I find unattractive, I mean that’s what I do already.” I chuckle. “There’s never been a man who’s swayed me enough to say “yeah tonight’s the night I make this man come in his pants.” you know?” I turn my head toward him. 

“I know what you mean. I think about that everyday at the shop.” he laughs shaking his head as we pull into my driveway. “So what’s my surprise?” he looks to the plastic bag. 

“Not until we’re in the kitchen.” I hum getting out of the car. He grabs my bag and follows me into the house. I tell him to sit in a stool at the island as I prepare a piece of pie for him. “You missed my third favorite today.” I place the pie in front of him. 

“I’m terribly sorry, baby.” he looks to me with amused eyes. “What’s today’s flavor?” he tongue darts across his lower lip. 

“Peach.” I hum and he pats the stool next to him. I walk over and take a seat while handing him the fork. He takes a bite and hums going in for another. He takes another piece and brings it to my lips. He slowly pulls the fork out of my mouth as I hum closing my eyes at the flavor. 

“This was a lovely surprise.” he takes another bite and switches off from feeding me and himself. “Let’s go try to fix your car.” he nods once the pie is gone. I follow him closer to the car this time and sit on the ground as he’s under the hood. 

“This is a better view.” my words low as I admire him. 

“I was thinking the same thing.” I chuckles looking at me from the corner of his eye. “So how was the diner today?”

“It was so boring without you there. No one was there to feed me pie.” I pout as I watch him pull out a piece of my car. 

“I just fed you pie in the kitchen.” he rises wiping his brow. 

“Yeah, but not at work.” I bat my eyelashes at him. 

“My poor baby.” he chuckles walking over to me. “I need you to try and start the car while I look under the hood.” he offers me his hand and he pulls me up and I quickly get into the drivers side.

“Now?” I ask not wanting to ruin anything. 

“Yeah,” he gives me a thumbs up. My car makes a terrible noise and I stop instantly. “Well fuck.” he sighs walking back over to me. 

“What’s wrong?” I look up to him. 

“I need another part.” he sighs resting his head on the door frame looking down at me. 

“Is this just an excuse to keep seeing me?” I reach up touching his cheek. 

“Do I need an excuse?” he tilts his head down an inch. 

“No,” my voice barely above a whisper as I tilt my head up. 

“Tell me what you want, baby.” he purrs dipping down ever so slightly as I lean up. 

“Kiss me.” I look to his lips before they fall into mine. It’s a quick kiss that leaves me frustrated and wanting more. “Kiss me again.” I huff. 

“Maybe tomorrow.” he chuckles kissing my forehead. I get out of my car practically throwing a tantrum. “Shut the garage baby.” he smirks leaning against his car until he disappears as the door shuts. I stomp up the stairs and collapse into bed. 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

I step out the back door of the club and shiver at the breeze. If he wants to tease me over a kiss I’ll tease him right back. My heels click against the ground as I make my way to his car. He’s out of the car and offering to take my bag from me. I slip into the car trying to pull the oversized shirt down and give up. 

“Where are your clothes?” he rasps turning to me. 

“I forgot them. I borrowed a shirt and I have stuff on underneath.” he watches me try to stretch the fabric down. 

“Do you?” he raises an eyebrow. 

“I’ll change when we get home.” his eyes travel to my legs again before shifting us into drive. The tension in the car is palpable and this is either going to go exactly my way or I’m just going to look desperate. We get to my house and he follows me inside like normal. 

“Do you want something to drink?” I turn reaching up to grab a glass and I feel the shirt slip up. 

“Baby.” he growls from the island. 

“Sorry.” I turn to him with a glass. “What can I get you?” I look up at him through my lashes. 

“Come here.” his voice low and I slowly come to his side. 

“I forgot pie today.” I whisper. “Can I offer you anything else?” 

He pulls me into a kiss and lifts me up onto the island. I gasp as the marble chills my skin as his hands grip my thighs. I whine into his mouth as he digs his fingers in. His hands start to travel up as I squirm and he pulls back. 

“I’d like to have a taste of you tonight then.” his fingers slowly spreading my thighs. 

“Yeah, please.” I whine nodding my head. He smirks before dipping down and trailing wet kisses across my thighs. He places a kiss over my covered slit and I shutter trailing my fingers through his hair. He pulls my panties to the side and groans as he looks up to me. 

“This is okay?” he asks again and I nod pushing his head down as he chuckles. 

“Yes, fuck yes,” I cry out as his tongue licks around my bud. He starts a quick rhythm that has my breaths coming out in pants. My hips grind against his face while his fingers hold onto my hips. His tongue slips down to my core and circles the entrance before bringing more wetness up to swirl around my bud. My legs tremble at his speed as my pleasure starts to coil. I come undone as he licks me through it as I moan above him. 

“That’s my new favorite. I’d have that every day.” he rises up licking his lips. He pulls me off of the counter as my chest is still heaving. “Go put clothes on and meet me in the garage.” he kisses my forehead and walks to the garage. 

I get up the stairs on wobbly legs as I throw my bag onto my floor. I take off my clothes and slide into shorts and a shirt and make my way back down to table thirteen. I should ask him his name but then I know I’ll get attached. I walk into the garage and sit down on the floor near him. 

“Tell me about your day.” I hum watching him. 

“I had a lot of clients in the shop today and none of them were simple fixes which got a little frustrating when my team couldn’t help either. It was a long day.” he signs resting his hands on the car frame before turning to me. “This makes up for it though.” he smiles. 

“If you had a long day you can come back and finish it tomorrow.” I furrow my brow rising. “Or whenever you have time. I don’t want to be demanding. I know the time is so inconvenient but it’s the only time I have and-“ 

“You can’t be demanding if I offered and I don’t mind the time, I promise.” he rests his hands on my arms. 

“Thank you.” I look to him with soft eyes. “I really do appreciate everything.” 

“Tomorrow I promise I’ll have it done. Text me when you need me to come get you.” he smiles packing up his tools. “Have a goodnight.” he leans against his car and watches the door shut. 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

As I step on stage I scan the room as normal and my breath stops when I see my moms doctor. I almost turn and run off stage but I genuinely need this money. As I make my way to the center I can feel his eyes on me as he sits back. I try to keep the sultry smile on my face that only falters when I’m facing back stage. When the song ends I wave and exit quickly. 

“The man in the front who looks expensive wants to talk to you.” my boss says coming through the door. 

“I’m not doing a dance for him. No.” I shake my head looking into the mirror. 

“He just said he knew you. You don’t want to look bad in front of rich clientele do you?” he raises his eyebrow waiting for me to walk to the door. I groan getting to my feet. I better not regret this. As I step out the door to the main floor I put on my smile. 

“Well, go over there.” he nods encouragingly and I turn to him and glare. I walk over to my mother’s doctor with my nerves pouring out of me.

“Some of my nurses told me you worked here and I didn’t believe them.” he smiles up to me from his chair. 

“I have to pay my mom’s bills somehow.” I look down to him with a raised brow. 

“If you give me a dance I’ll pay next month’s bill.” his eyes darken. 

“I don’t think that’s appropriate and I don’t do dances.” I start to pull back. 

“Two months.” he grabs my wrist. I look around the club and my boss is nodding encouragingly and I feel helpless. He pulls me down onto his lap and I gasp. “Three months then.” I try to hide the horror of my reality. 

That’s a lot of money he’s offering. It would allow me to save up and get more ahead on my payments but at what cost? Walking into the hospital and knowing this man was all over me and paid thousands of dollars for me to sit on his lap. My boss starts to walk over with a drink and I shake my head hoping he leaves this situation to me. 

“A drink for you.” my bosses voice is celebratory. “You’re the first to get her in your lap.” 

“Is that so.” he smirks looking me over. 

“She’s very particular about her clientele.” my boss chuckles handing the man a drink. “On the house for doing the impossible.” he winks at us and walks away. 

“Three months pay for you to give me something to think about with my wife?” I blink trying to hold back my disgust. I relent because that money could change everything for me right now. I bring my leg to the other side of his thigh and his smile is predatory. 

“Three months pay and we’re staying right here.” my voice firm as I rest my hands on his shoulders as he nods his head. 

I try to block out the next ten minutes and the way his hands feel on my body. My outfit stayed exactly where it needed to but it didn’t make me feel any better about the gaggle of men staring at me. Once I’m backstage again I go to my locker and pull out my phone as I start to pull on clothes. 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Cherry Pie: Can you pick me up?

Table 13: Of course baby. Where and when?

Cherry Pie: The club and now

Table 13: Omw is everything okay?

Cherry Pie: Yeah I’ll see you soon

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

I sit on the side of the building smoking a cigarette holding my knees against my chest. I blow the smoke up into the sky and curse the stars for my shitty life. I groan as I hear the door open and turn and see that it’s the doctor. 

“I was wondering where you ran off to.” he smirks looking down at me. 

“My ride is almost here.” I murmur taking a long drag. 

“Those will kill you.” he tsks. 

“Sooner rather than later I can only hope.” I sigh hoping table thirteen gets here soon. 

“We can go to finance tomorrow and we’ll get it all paid.” his voice soft and it confuses me. 

“You don’t want to do it anonymously?” I furrow my brows. 

“No moneys money, they won’t talk.” he shrugs before slipping back into the club. I rise to my feet as I see table thirteens car pull around the corner. 

“What’s wrong?” he searches my face as I get into the car. 

“I just- We can talk about it at home.” I shake my head as he pulls us away. The ride is silent and different and I know he can tell something is wrong but I just feel like a baby. 

“Tell me.” he holds the door open for me as I get out. He takes my bag from me and follows me into the house. 

“I was baited- no, I don’t know, I guess it was my fault,” I shake my head. 

“You can tell me.” he goes to cup my cheek and I shrink. It’s not that I don’t want him to touch me I just feel dirty and like I need to boil my skin off. “What did your boss make you do?” his nostrils flare and I feel his temper rise. 

“My mom’s doctor was there and he kept asking my boss to talk to me so I went out to the floor and that’s my fault I guess.” I huff at the way my voice breaks. “I don’t know, I ended up on his lap and his hands were all over me and I just- I need to shower.” I pull him up the stairs with me. 

“I can work on your car while you shower.” he voice low as he follows me into my room. 

“You said you would beat up my boss for even asking me to do that and now that it’s done I’m scared, thirteen.” I turn to him. 

“Benji.” my eyes find his quickly. 

“Benji.” I look up to him seeing him in a new light. 

“Y/n.” the smile that spreads across his face is contagious. 

“Go take a shower, Y/n. I’ll wait right here for you.” he lays back on my bed as I lock myself into my bathroom. 

The hot water and steam melt away everything that came with today. Three months of my mom’s medical bills were paid and I want to feel relief but I don’t know how I’ll face her doctor. Benji. My mind drifts to him and I smile as I scrub myself. His tongue was perfect last night and I can’t help my mind drifting to what else he can do. I wrap myself in a towel and push the door open as steam pours out. 

“How was your shower?” he props himself up on my bed. 

“It was good.” I hum walking over to the bed. “I thought about you.” he chuckles. 

“And what did you think about?” his tongue darts across his lower lip. 

“I need a distraction from today.” my words soft as I drop my towel. 

“Are you sure?” he searches my eyes before even looking over my body. 

“Please Benji.” I nod my head and he has me under him on my bed in seconds. 

I sigh as he attaches his lips to mine. His tongue pushes into my mouth and caresses against mine. I whine into his mouth as he grinds against me and the feel of his pants has me squirming. He chuckles kissing down my neck and licking across my chest slowly making his way down. 

“I need a taste of my cherry pie.” a moan falls from my lips as his tongue licks up my center. 

His rough hands hold my hips down as he swirls around my wetness. My body trembles as his tongue focuses on my bud. One of my hands tangles in his hair while the other one teases and caresses across my chest. My hips jerk against his face as he dips down and pushes his tongue into me. 

“Fuck Benji,” he groans against me and the vibration pulls a string of moans from me. “Right there, yes,” I roll my hips against his nose and release against his face with his name on my tongue. 

“You’re so fucking hot.” he groans as he stands to start pulling off his shirt. 

“So are you, why do you think I keep you around?” my voice still breathy. 

“And here I was thinking you liked me, baby.” he chuckles sliding his pants down and I groan looking at his length. 

“When did I say I liked you?” I smirk as he crawls over me. He lines himself up with my core and pushes in slowly. My toes curl with every inch as small gasps leave my mouth. 

“How’s it feel?” he rocks his hips into me. 

“Like I need you to move.” I whine as I push my hips against his. He chuckles and starts to slowly move his hips as I squirm beneath him. He snaps back into me as he captures my lips before beginning to rut into me. I moan into his mouth as my pleasure begins to coil. He kisses down my jaw to bite across my neck as his name falls from my mouth. 

“You’re doing so good for me.” he coos never losing his rhythm. The coil that was building snaps at his words and he curses into my neck as I pulse around him. 

“Benji,” I whine breathlessly as he continues to push into me. Broken whimpers leave my mouth as I feel pleasure starting to build again. My nails dig into his shoulders when his fingers find my sensitive bud. 

“You gunna come for me again?” he purrs as my eyes start to roll back. I nod my head as I pant beneath him. His thrusts become erratic and a string of curses leave his mouth as my walls contract around him. He pushes into roughly before I feel his warmth spread throughout. He rests his forehead on mine as we try to catch our breath. I sigh as he pulls out and collapses next to me pulling me closer. 

“Just stay.” I mumble as I feel my eyes droop. 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

“Fuck what time is it?” I jump up from the bed untangling from Benji who groans wiping his eyes. I check my phone seeing that I have about twenty minutes until I need to go visit my mother and get her bills paid. Which I don’t even want to think about at this particular moment. “Fucking taxis,” I mutter pulling up the phone number. 

“I’ll give you a ride to the hospital.” I turn to see Benji sliding on his pants. “Get dressed and we’ll head out. Don’t worry, I’ll wait in the car.” he chuckles kissing my forehead before slipping into the bathroom. 

I pull clothes on and we’re out the front door in five minutes. I’m walking through the main hospital doors shortly after. My mom is awake and happy and I do everything I can to avoid the doctor’s gaze. He stands a little too close to me but I try not to make a big deal. 

“Well, I’m going to head out..” I hug my mom and kiss her cheek. The doctor follows me out of her room and a shiver goes through my body. 

“Let’s go to finance, I have a break.” he says lowly before walking to the nurses station. I wait for him at the elevator and as we share the small space I beg for the elevator to move any faster. I watch as the secretary types into her computer and hands me a receipt paying for the next three months. I nod at the doctor and flee the hospital. I make it to Benjis and he offers me a smile. 

“How was she today?” he turns to me. 

“She was okay.” I nod my head fidgeting my fingers. 

“Do you want me to drive you to the diner?” he grabs my hands to settle my nerves. 

“I don’t- I’m calling in.” I shake my head not in the mood for the diner today. 

“Home?” he asks. “I can finish your car.” he smiles. 

“Yeah that’s good.” I nod my head and we make our way back to my house. 

I trudge into the front door with him close behind me. I grab us a drink before we make our way back to the garage. I sit on the ground lost in thought about the past 24 hours. I can’t even appreciate this man in front of me and my brows furrow. 

“What’s wrong?” he looks at me from under my hood. 

“I should start getting ready for the club soon.” I sigh looking up to him. 

“Go get ready and I’ll finish up down here.” he nods to the stairs and I slip into the house. I take another boiling shower and start to detangle my hair. I grab a crowd favorite outfit and slip it on before putting sweats on over it. Benji knocks on my bedroom door and leans against the frame with a smile.

“It’s all fixed, baby.” he jingles my keys. 

“Really?” my face lights up and I grab my keys from him and bound down the stairs. I jump into my car and it starts right away. “You’re a lifesaver.” I beam up at him. 

“Of course. Anything you need.” he hums. “I guess I don’t get to drive you home anymore.” he pouts. 

“You can still come over in the middle of the night.” I nibble on my lower lip. 

“Text me when you want me.” he offers me a quick kiss. “I’m going to head out and check on the shop. Maybe I’ll see you later.” his smile causes my heart to skip a beat and I nod my head. 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

I decide to leave early for the club and see if anyone wants to go home early. I feel so stupid for calling into the diner. Just because I’m a couple months ahead doesn’t mean I can slack now. I shake my head confused as I see Benjis car. I park and start walking up when the front doors burst open. I gasp as I see my boss thrown to the ground.

“I didn’t make her do anything.” my boss has his hands raised as my breath catches. 

“You knew she was uncomfortable and always told you no.” Benji grabs my bosses shirt. “Do you want me to hit you again?” 

“No.” my boss wails as I look on with wide eyes. 

“No means yes to you I heard.” he chuckles before landing blow after blow on his face. I stumble towards them in shock. 

“Benji,” my voice breaks. “Benji, please.” he stops and looks up to me as his eyes soften. 

“You’re fucking crazy and you’re crazy if you think you’ll still be working here.” my boss turns to me. “You both better be gone before I call the cops.” he rises and staggers back into the club. I look to Benji with tears streaming down my face. 

“Why?” my voice breaks. “Why did you do this? You know I need this job.” I move back as he steps towards me. “My mother’s life is on the line.” 

“Baby,-“

“No.” I shake my head. “No, I don’t want to see you again. I told you not to do this. You just fucked me over Benji.” I walk backwards to my car keeping my eyes on him. 

“Y/n, please,” he looks at me with pleading eyes. 

“I can’t do this.” I shake my head and grab my handle. I get into the car and peel out of the lot with no destination in mind. 

⊹˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

masterlist 🔌 

part two will be in the works soon xx 

taglist ✍️ 

@clarityisnofun @gabriella-aesthetic @callsignwidow @llynx7 @violetiss3lfish @ka1afbr @akiko-oo @papichulo120627 @lizzylovebooks280501 @thatgirl101blog @ashovertheriver @zanygot7straykidsbonk @hueanhdang @malfoycassimalfoy @april-notthemonth69 @anaviieiraaa @p45510n4f4shi0n @neocockthotology @thereaderwitch

[viktoriaashleyyx]

Why do some of us not *hate* Tamlin?

I am pro-tamlin, not pro feylin. I would prefer Tamlin to never have to deal with the NC ever again. If SJM never types his name out again I will be happy.

Tw: light mentions to DV, SA, and Divorce.

Feyre is written in a way that makes it feel like she is intentionally manipulating us against Tamlin to justify her leaving him the way she did, and to put Rhysand up on a pedestal.

The abrupt and sloppy way SJM handled Tamlins' character assassination induced my fight or flight. Let me explain:

My parents divorced when I was 4, and I had to learn, quickly, how to interpret people's true intentions and empathize with where they are coming from vs just blindly listening to someones account of what happened. My father got custody of us and would use the same elements against my mom that Feyre uses against Tamlin. I HAVE to read between the lines or I would fall to the intentional manipulation.

"She left me so she probably cheated" "he trapped me in the house" "she has a new boyfriend so she doesn't care about you anymore" "he hit me [when I was actively TRYING to get him to hit me to sway public opinion of him]"

Everytime Feyre left for the NC, she did so kicking and screaming. Every indication Tamlin could see was that she did NOT want to go with Rhys, until he gets a letter from her saying to not come looking for her that she doesn't want to be with him. Tamlin didn't know she could read or write. Had that been my love I would assume it was a ransom note too, written by someone else. Had she actually spent 1 hr winnowing to Tamlin, tell him face to face, then winnow back (with an escort) he MIGHT have gotten the hint.

A tithe was a weird thing to use to show how cruel Tamlin is, considering how 2/3 of the night court live in constant fear, children's bones are broken for misbehaving, the CoN are trapped there. SJM really showed us that she has no political knowledge what so ever. I barely started ACOFAS and when Feyres talking about the unnatural sum of her money, my first thought is "You don't amass that level of wealth without oppressing someone." Lucien said that Tamlin would be expected to hunt down those not able to pay the tithe, but when we get to Tamlins actual actions he just said "get it together in 3 days or pay double next time". In my initial reading, I interpreted it as another mask (like how Rhysand acts). Tamlin does this due to tradition, he is expected to act a certain way, but *I felt* he had no intention of acting out what he said. It was just a line he was expected to say to send the wraith away without others expecting the same.

Feyre and Tamlin were not right for eachother because they were not eachothers mates. People can exist fine separately, and be incredibly toxic together. From page 1 we see Feyres inherent inability to empathize with anyone, she has it bad, she has to hunt, therefore her sisters don't do anything. But she also can't cook, so who was preparing the meat she brought home? It gave me "housework isn't real work" vibes. Feyre also doesn't communicate very well, which would explain why a literal mind reader was able to help her better than Tamlin was. I saw Tamlin trying but not being able to help her because he couldn't read her mind.

Feyre didn't want to be trapped in a manor for a few hours while she was displaying manic behavior, but she condoned her sisters be trapped in the HOW for 6 weeks immediately after losing their lives. She condones the treatment of the people in Hewn city and supports the literal Jim Crow laws placed against them in Velaris when all they wanted was to leave. She condones and supports trapping Nesta in HoW after the war just to force Cassain on her so Feyre can play matchmaker.

Feyre is an inherently self centered sociopath. She can read minds and still can't develop a shred of empathy.

Just leave Tamlin alone. Damn.

[wormonastringtheory]

Continual Support for a Black Disabled Mom of 3

For those of you who know my blog, you know my friend Courtney needs support. The reality is it is unlikely that that will change soon given that she is a disabled single mom providing for 3 kids with a lo-wage job. I love her dearly and she genuinely struggles every day. I want to make the world better for her. I talk often about the power of community care. Courtney needs this consistently. If you are a non-Black person who is financially secure, please consider giving her reparations every month or biweekly. I will put her paylinks below. To work towards and as an accomplice of Black liberation, you need to be committed.

I know many of us are not well off, so I wanted to recommend some more one of ways you can help short term if you cannot commit to helping her more. She has 3 kids to get Christmas gifts and food for. I had her put together an Amazon wishlist so that people can help her in a small but mesurable way. Her kids have been through so much alongside her. Please help them have a Christmas if you are able. Many years they haven't. One off financial donations are also appreciated.

If you are in Houston, Texas, and are able to drop some gifts and food off to them, please reach out to me so I can connect you. That would be super meaningful for them. If you can commit to dropping supplies off more than once, let me know.

If you can't help financially, please reblog. Share the wishlist beyond tumblr. Support however you are able. She needs and deserves support a million times over. Love you all.

Paypal.me/stillcreece85

Venmo @courtney-reece-85

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/AOHU8NB3TDGU?ref_=wl_share