#for that matter why does TABLE SALT contain SUGAR

[vhenadahls]

screw your courage to the sticking-place

Phryne is determined to make Jack’s birthday special, no matter how many times she has to try to make a cake. The process leads to a revelation and a declaration.

E, 6500 words.

AO3 link in first reblog!

The kitchen is a lot more daunting when she’s supposed to do something. The table looks a mile wide, and the baking implements strewn across it more akin to torture devices. Phryne picks up a whisk, rotating it slowly in one hand as she stares.

“Miss, you don’t have to do this.” Mr. Butler’s voice is kind and even, as always, without a hint of judgment. “The Inspector will be pleased that you’re hosting a small party for him, and with your other gifts. It won’t matter if you made the cake yourself.”

“No.” Phryne shakes her head. “Well, you’re probably not wrong. But I said I’d do this, and I’m going to do it.” She sets down the whisk and picks up the apron he’s draped over a chair for her. The knot at the back poses a challenge for just a moment, but she gets it tied and picks up her whisk again.

“So, Mr. Butler! I am yours to command.” Posing dramatically with a baking whisk might be silly, but she does it anyway, holding it like a sceptre of rank.

He laughs lightly, gesturing with one hand to the ingredients and utensils organized neatly across the table. “I thought we’d try a chocolate cake recipe I’ve made many times. I’ve pulled out most of the ingredients already, except what’s still in the refrigerator. We'll start by reading the recipe, then going over the ingredients, and then I'll walk you through it." He taps the open page of the cookbook on the edge of the table.

The left-side page starts with maple filling. She skips that - they’re making chocolate cake - and skims the next section. Directions for making chocolate cake. Perfect.

Melt chocolate in double boiler. Melting, that makes sense, even if she isn’t sure what a double boiler might be. Measure and sift flour as many times as you would for white and yellow cake.

What?

“Um, Mr. Butler.” Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Turning back from the refrigerator, he gestures at the book again. “It’s all right. You’ve done much more complicated things than baking this cake. No need to worry.”

Once his head’s in the refrigerator again, she turns back to the book, running a finger under each line. They’re all English, all words she knows, but these are not combinations of words she’s ever put together. A scant cup of butter - cut into particles? Creamed butter? Salt, in a cake? At least “level teaspoon” makes some sense, though she isn’t sure whether the measure is “a spoon used for tea” or something else entirely.

Mr. Butler turns away from the refrigerator again, setting three eggs on the table. Towards the middle, she notices, where hopefully she won’t knock them onto the floor. “Now, see here,” he points to the ingredients list in the cookbook, “it says ‘eggs beaten separately.’”

“I assume that means separating the whites and yolks.” Phryne reaches out to pick up one of the eggs, then thinks better of it when Mr. Butler’s hand hovers nearby. “Though I have no idea how one would do such a thing.”

“I’ll show you. And the rest of the ingredients should make plenty of sense - flour, sugar, butter, salt. You know those.”

“Actually,” she picks up the container of salt from the forest of ingredients, “I don’t understand why anyone would put salt in a cake. Don’t we want it to be sweet?”

“Of course.” Mr. Butler points at the cookbook again, at the listing for the salt. “Salt enhances the flavour of whatever you’re baking, even sweet things. It’s only a teaspoon in this recipe, because you don’t need very much in a cake like this. But it will make it a lot better than if we hadn’t used it.”

Phryne sets the salt back on the table. “I knew I’d be learning today, but I had no idea how much.”

With a soft smile, Mr. Butler hands her the jar of flour. “So! The main ingredients for your cake are, of course, the chocolate, the flour, milk, eggs, and butter. The butter’s still in the refrigerator, since we want it to stay as cold as possible. We also have the salt, as you noted, some vanilla to mix with the chocolate, and baking powder, which will help the cake rise when it bakes so it’s not flat as rubber.”

“This all sounds so simple when you put it that way, Mr. Butler.” Popping the clasp on the flour jar, Phryne sets it back on the table and reaches for a stack of measuring cups. “How much do I need?”

He reads out the quantities to her and shows her how to sift the flour and baking powder together, then steps over to the stove to melt the chocolate. The sifting itself is simple, but trying not to go too fast and puff flour all over the kitchen is somewhat harder, what with how boringly repetitive the task is. While sifting with one hand, Phryne assembles the rest of her ingredients with her other hand, lining up the salt, sugar, the jar of milk, the eggs.

Once she’s sifted the flour four times, Mr. Butler walks her through separating the eggs and beating the yolks lightly with the whisk she’d grabbed earlier. Then it’s time for the electric mixer he’s so proud of, which he won’t let her use. He effortlessly creams (why is it called creaming, she wonders to herself) the butter while still keeping an eye on the chocolate. She mixes sugar into the egg yolks, then adds the butter while Mr. Butler beats the egg whites in another bowl.

Phryne keeps stirring while Mr. Butler pours ingredients in from alternating bowls: the flour mixture, then the egg whites, then flour again. When both bowls are empty, he pours the chocolate in. It all comes together in a lovely batter, smooth and dark and creamy like she thinks you’d expect from something called chocolate cream cake. Once the chocolate is fully mixed in, Mr. Butler runs a finger over the edge of the bowl and pops it into his mouth with a silly wink that makes her laugh. But as soon as he tastes the batter, his nose wrinkles in disgust.

“Mr. Butler?”

Taking a glass from the cupboard, he pours some of the leftover milk and takes a sip. “I think you may have used salt instead of sugar, Miss Fisher. Unfortunately we’ll have to bin that one and try again.”

Trying not to groan aloud, Phryne nods. “I suppose I can’t expect to be good at baking on the first try.” She tries not to visibly pout.

While he dumps out the foul batter and washes out the bowls, she goes back over the recipe and the ingredients, purposefully putting the sugar and the salt on opposite ends of the table. She’s not going to make that mistake again.

—--

The doorbell echoes inside, as it always does. Jack’s stood on this stoop more times than he can count. Especially lately.

It’s unusual that he has to wait long for someone to answer the door. Usually Mr. Butler, but sometimes Dot (or Jane, when she’s home), or sometimes even Miss Fisher herself. But today he’s still waiting, though he knows at this time more than one person should be in the house.

Nerves building in his chest, he walks back to the footpath and around to the alleyway. The kitchen door is closed and the curtains are drawn, so he knocks, solid and loud (“that policeman’s knock,” Rosie called it once - ever since she said it, he’s tried to temper it, but it comes out when he’s nervous).

The door opens almost immediately, Mr. Butler standing on the other side. “Inspector! I apologize if you rang the bell and I didn’t notice, I -”

“Jack!” Miss Fisher barrels into view from behind Mr. Butler, nudging him out of the way and stepping into the alleyway. She closes the door behind her, and when she turns back Jack notices a streak of chocolate on her cheek and - he does a double take - a batter-covered whisk in her hand. And a flour-streaked apron wrapped around her. “I didn’t know you were coming. We were just -”

“Baking?” He rests two fingers on her cheek just under the chocolate, a small smile on his face. It’s incongruous, thinking of her doing something as domestic as baking, but the mental image of her trying is more than endearing.

“Oh no,” she starts, and even if it weren’t obvious he’d know she was lying. Her voice still pitches higher when she tries to lie to him, and he knows she knows (and that she knows he knows), so he lets her keep going. “There’s just something strange going on with…the cooker! Mr. Butler needed a hand, and I’m the only one home. We’re almost finished, so I’ll have Mr. Butler open the front door for you and you can wait in the parlour if you’d like?”

“If something’s gone wrong, I could help Mr. Butler figure it out?” Jack plays along with the lie. “Not that you haven’t been a great help, I’m sure. But three heads might make it go faster.”

Miss Fisher drops her chin and tilts her head, looking up at him from under her excessive eyelashes. An expression he’s seen many times, one that’s almost guaranteed to get her whatever she’s asking for. He’s still always glad to see it.

Realizing she’s talking and he’s missed something, he tries to piece together the conversation. When he catches up, she’s saying, “-just take a seat in the parlour and I’ll be with you shortly.” Without another word she leans up on her toes and kisses him, then gives a cheeky smile and slips back through the kitchen door, so quickly he doesn’t get a look inside.

While he’s still blinking in confusion, Mr. Butler steps out, again closing the door behind him. “Miss Fisher asked me to walk you back to the front and let you inside. I apologize for the inconvenience, Inspector.”

Jack follows him, trying to look through the blue gingham curtains as he walks past the window. He can see a sliver of the kitchen beyond, but not enough of it to make out more than the fact that Phryne’s baking something. Something that includes chocolate.

Once ensconced in the parlour, he strains to hear whatever’s going on in the kitchen without walking into the dining room where he’ll be visible. But all he can hear is the low murmur of familiar voices and the lilt of familiar laughter.

That’s enough, though. He’ll find out soon enough whatever it is she’s working on. The birthday party she’s throwing for him is tomorrow, after all. No amount of trying had been able to convince her that a man his age didn’t need a birthday party, and at this point he’s somewhat looking forward to it. Or, at least, to time with her around people they don’t have to hide around.

—--

This cake comes out flat as a board.

Mr. Butler had tasted the batter, declared it good. Phryne had felt so proud, conquering this skill that’s always been the purview of others. “Apparently I can find different mistakes,” she mumbles under her breath, and the weight of Mr. Butler’s hand drops onto her shoulder.

“Everyone who’s baked has made these kinds of mistakes. You’re not the only one, not at all. This looks like you left out the baking powder - might have put in an extra measure of salt or sugar instead.”

It’s supposed to be comforting, but reminders of the things she can’t do rarely are. She grits her teeth, pulling the cookbook towards her. “Hopefully the third try’s the charm.”

He shakes his head. “We can’t today, Miss, there isn’t enough milk left. But we can bake another tomorrow morning, before the party. We’ll get it right.”

She sighs. “Perhaps.” Glancing over the kitchen, she winces - it looks like a cyclone’s been through. “I can help you clean up.”

“No, no, don’t worry.” He’s already organizing the ingredients left on the table. “You go talk to the Inspector.”

Not needing to be told twice, Phryne fumbles behind her for the apron strings, pulling it off over her head when the knot’s undone and escaping the kitchen. She detours up to her room, wiping the chocolate and flour and other residue off her skin and reapplying her makeup. When she steps into the parlour and Jack looks up and pats the sofa next to him, appreciation on his face, all her frustration melts away. That’s why she’s trying her hand at baking - to elicit as many of those wonderful smiles as she can. The smiles - and the man - she’s come to love.

Love. The nonchalance of the thought stops her in her tracks. It’s not the first time she’s thought it. He’s said it, but infrequently (he knows her so well, it’s probably to avoid scaring her away). And she’s come close. But it’s still a step that scares her, a step she wasn’t confident she’d ever be ready to take again. Not after Paris, after René. After her parents.

“Miss Fisher?” His low voice threads its way into her thoughts, unspooling the tension that had begun to grow again, as he always does. “Is everything all right?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” She drops onto the sofa next to him, pouring whisky into two glasses from the decanter on the table. Pulling her legs up under her, she offers him one of the glasses.

He takes it but doesn’t immediately drink, rolling his wrist and turning the glass with it. “Is everything all right with the cooker?” His voice is light, betraying nothing, but when he looks up from the glass his eyes are twinkling with unvoiced laughter.

“The cooker?” Why on earth is he asking about the cooker? She’s been - ah. The lie she told to explain why she was working in the kitchen and wouldn’t let him in. Which he clearly knows is a lie, and is waiting to see how long she’ll keep it up.

Two can play at that game.

“Oh, yes, the cooker!” She takes a sip of whisky, keeping her eyes on his, and he doesn’t break the stare. “It seems to be working well enough now. Mr. Butler clearly knows what he’s doing, he just needed an extra pair of hands. I don’t really understand any of what I did; you’d have to ask him.”

“I may just do that,” Jack says, and Phryne has to suppress a laugh. Chuckling himself, he drapes his left arm across the back of the sofa and she leans into his side. “Will you at least tell me tomorrow?”

“What’s there to tell?” she asks, affecting innocence as best she can, and his chuckles escalate into full laughter. Shifting slightly, she leans up to press her lips to his, reveling in the abrupt change from laughter to that delicious moan deep in his throat.

“Phryne,” he breathes, breaking the kiss, voice hoarse and eyes dark. Smirking, she kisses him again, tracing her tongue over his bottom lip.

—--

Jack doesn’t stay the night. He wants to, and everyone who will be at the party already knows that he spends much of his time at Wardlow, but it seems like a better idea to come from home. The party’s scheduled to start at four, so he leaves home with enough time to arrive by half three - but, knowing who’s coming, he’s not sure half the guests will show up anywhere close to on time.

He doesn’t even have to ring the bell this time. Miss Fisher flings the door open as soon as he steps up onto the stoop, as if she’d been watching from the parlour window. “Jack!” she cries, and he couldn’t help his smile even if he cared to. She pulls him inside, and as soon as the door’s closed behind him he leans down to kiss her. Her smile is evident in the kiss, too, and he wraps one arm around her waist.

“Happy birthday,” she murmurs against his lips, and it sends a shiver down his spine that he’d love to give in to. Stepping back away from him, she gives him a filthy look that promises more, and his mind goes completely blank.

“Inspector!” Another familiar voice, from behind Miss Fisher, breaks into his thoughts and starts them up again. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. Good to see you. And, um, happy birthday.”

He leans to the side to find Mrs. Collins - it’s taken a surprising amount of time to get used to calling her that - standing in the doorway to the dining room, holding a tray of glasses clearly intended for the parlour. Jack blinks at her for a moment, feeling like an owl in daylight, until he gets his bearings back under him.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Collins. Thank you. I hope it hasn’t been too much trouble to get everything set up for the party.” It still feels odd, to know they’re setting up a party for his benefit.

“Not at all!” She’s still just as sweet as she’s always been, and he’s glad again that Miss Fisher came home and put her household back to rights. Not just for himself. “It’s always a pleasure, Inspector.”

When she steps into the parlour with her tray, Jack realizes that Miss Fisher’s no longer standing on his other side. He casts around for a moment before finding her, emerging from the door on the far end of the dining room. She’s carrying another tray herself: a platter full of sandwiches, which she places gently in the middle of the low table in the middle of the parlour. Pride of place - odd, for sandwiches. But at a second glance, he realizes the sandwiches are all a little cockeyed, the arrangement on the plate a little less than perfectly symmetrical, one or two already looking slightly soggy from the mustard pickle he can see peeking out of a few. It hits him like a ton of bricks.

“Phryne,” he starts, low and under his breath, and her head snaps towards him a little too quickly - it’s still not often he uses her first name when they’re not fully alone. “Did you make these yourself? For me?” 

Even through her makeup, he can see the faint tinge of a blush redden her cheeks. “I did. Ham, cheese, and mustard pickle.” 

“A particular favorite.” When she nods, he reaches out and grabs one of her hands, pulling it towards him. He presses a kiss to the back of it - a real kiss, not the vague gesture of greeting for someone of her station - and squeezes it in his own. “Thank you, Phryne.” It’s not the first time she’s gone out of her way to make sure he has an enjoyable experience, but to do so with her own two hands - it’s a lot. In a good way.

That cheeky grin will be the death of him. All traces of blushing gone, she dips her head. “Of course, Inspector.” She sweeps back out of the parlour, sashaying in a way definitely intended to catch his attention - not that she’d ever lost it - and he can barely hold in a laugh. Who would have thought, in London, that they would end up here. Together. At his birthday party, in her house. With her making his favorite sandwiches for him.

The doorbell rings and there’s a commotion in the kitchen at the same time. When neither Mr. Butler nor Mrs. Collins appears to open the front door, Jack stands and warily steps towards the door. Hopefully it’s one of the party guests, who will expect him in the house, and not…whoever else might be attempting to meet with Miss Fisher on a random Saturday in June.

The bell rings again as he reaches the door, and he decides it’s almost certainly one of the party guests. Pulling open the door, he finds Dr. MacMillan on the other side, hand raising to knock as well.

“Impatient, are we?” Jack asks, and she glares at him from under the brim of her hat.

“You’d know,” she quips, teasing, with a pointed glance up the stairs to where Phryne’s bedroom lies. She steps past him with a laugh while he tries to control the heat in his cheeks. Hanging her hat on the rack, she breezes through the dining room toward the kitchen, perfectly at home.

He can hear Miss Fisher’s delighted “Mac!” as he returns to his seat in the parlour.

Guests continue to trickle in, once the others have all joined him in the parlour. Most of them are friends and acquaintances he’s met through Miss Fisher - Dr. MacMillan, for one, and the red-ragger cabbies, and even Mrs. Stanley makes a brief appearance. But there’s Collins, of course, and a few men he knows from the footy stop by, and even one or two others he knows from the force, men he knows will be discreet about where they saw him.

It’s much lower-key than most of Miss Fisher’s parties that he’s attended or seen, and he’s grateful. Mr. Butler keeps him supplied with champagne, his favorite sandwiches, and trips to the kitchen when he needs to step away. Mrs. Collins keeps some of his favorite records playing over the gramophone. For the birthday party of a man his age, it’s pretty much all he could ask for.

Mrs. Collins finally kicks Cec and Bert - drunk in the case of the former, completely pissed for the latter - out around nine. She and Mr. Butler immediately set about cleaning up, but Miss Fisher waves them off with a wave of a hand. “No, no, don’t worry - it’ll keep ‘til tomorrow. Today was for celebrating, tonight shouldn’t have to be for cleaning.”

“Are you sure, Miss?” Mrs. Collins asks, worrying at the sleeves of her dress. “It’s not that late; we should at least get started.”

“Not tonight.” Miss Fisher’s voice is firm. “There’s just one last thing I need from you two.” She stands and herds them both with her towards the kitchen, leaving Jack in the parlour with Collins. 

It's still somewhat awkward to spend time with him outside of a case. But they make do, the discussion turning towards footy (as it frequently does) and this season’s Abbotsford-West Melbourne game that many of the party guests will be attending, as always. Just as Collins starts to get a little too heated about this year’s players, Miss Fisher returns with Mrs. Collins and Mr. Butler in tow and an unreadable smile on her face.

In a flurry the Collinses are heading out through the kitchen for the guest house behind Wardlow that they’ve made their own, Mr. Butler bids them goodnight and disappears into his own quarters, and Jack’s left standing at the foot of the stairs with Miss Fisher.

“Come up with me?” she asks, and he detects something like anxiety in her voice. But it’s far from the first time he’s been up to her boudoir, and he’d assumed this was the plan for the night anyway, so even as he nods he squeezes her hand in a question.

“You all right?” he asks aloud also, just in case.

“Perfectly,” she answers, squeezing his hand back, but she doesn’t turn around before climbing the stairs. Uncertain, he follows, deciding to let her explain whenever she’s ready.

She pushes open the door with something akin to ceremony, and Jack takes in the room. Bed, dressing screen, vanity, all as normal - and a small table set in front of the chaise, with what looks like a small cake atop it.

“You made this?” he asks, but it’s not really a question. She doesn’t answer, just tilts her head, her hair swinging forward against her cheeks. He pulls her towards him for another kiss. “This is what you were baking yesterday?”

Her eyes are wide and perfunctorily innocent as she walks backwards towards the chaise, pulling him after her. “There was no baking yesterday, just a fussy cooker. Whatever made you ask that?” The words and tone are teasing, but there’s a hint of something underneath that he can’t place. She takes a seat, looking up at him expectantly.

He joins her on the chaise, and she immediately hands him one of the forks that had been resting next to the cake. “Happy birthday, Jack.” Leaning back, she slips one arm behind him, caressing his shoulder as she goes.

The cake’s quite small, and somewhat lopsided if he’s honest. It’s hard to say whether he’d wonder if she’d made it, if he didn’t already know, because the idea of her baking is still so incongruous. But the frosting is inviting, and he takes a bite.

It’s delicious. The frosting is as smooth and creamy as it looked from the outside, and the cake itself is moist and light. Chocolate may not have been what he’d have gone for if he’d chosen, but he’s not sure why. Swallowing, he brandishes the fork.

“You’ve outdone yourself, Miss Fisher. A party, sandwiches, and this birthday cake?” He leans in to try and kiss her again, maybe forget about the cake despite how delicious it is, but she’s not looking at him. He follows her gaze and realizes that she’s still looking, inexplicably, at the cake.

“Try another bite,” she says, and this time he can place at least some of what’s in her voice - nerves. And not discomfort or worry, exactly, but something akin to those.

Doing as she says, he reaches out with the fork again. But this time, instead of passing through the fluffy body of the cake, the fork catches on something. Something hard but narrow and long, by the feel of it. Confused, he excavates it from the cake, trying to knock off whatever’s been baked onto it as he pulls it out.

It’s a key. A house key. A familiar house key that he’s seen in even more familiar hands.

A key to Wardlow.

“Phryne,” he starts, and can’t continue around the lump in his throat. He rubs at it with one of the napkins laying on the table, trying to collect his thoughts and his voice. The cake and the frosting slough off, leaving a key just as elegant as the rest of the house. His eyes trace the scrollwork at the top, the post, the teeth. The bronze elegance of it all.

When he lifts his gaze from the key to Miss Fisher, her face is open, vulnerable, in a way he hasn’t often seen. Her eyes are so very blue. “Phryne,” he tries again, and can’t find any words to continue. Instead he shifts toward her on the chaise until he can pull her in for another kiss, trying to put all his thoughts and feelings into it. And love. Always, always love.

She hums against his lips - not erotically, not exactly, but in contentment, an understanding. When they break this kiss, she twines their fingers together and rests her nose against his cheek.

Jack reaches between and across them with his other hand, grabbing for the key. “Phryne,” he says a third time, “you don’t have to do this.” He knows what her independence and freedom mean to her. It may not be a wedding ring, but it’s an invitation even further into her life. “Are you sure?”

“I am.” She turns his head to kiss him again - gently, invitingly, a request and a promise. Her eyes flutter closed, and she takes a deep breath before opening them again. “I love you, Jack.”

She says it like it’s simple, like it’s known, and it is on some level - but his heart nearly stops. He’s said it, wanted to say it more, but held back for fear of scaring her away. Even after the desert, even after everything they’ve been through, he still worries.

Lifting a hand, slowly and carefully, he rests it on her cheek. When she presses lightly into his palm, he’s hit with a curious mix of wistfulness and arousal. Probably exactly as she intended. His lips tip up at the corners, the smile unbidden and irresistible.

“I love you, Phryne.” He might’ve tried to put as much love as he could into his earlier kisses, but the words hold even more. Sliding the hand from her cheek around to the back of her neck, he trails his callused fingers over the soft skin there. This time he knows the hum is seductive, as she surges forward and captures his lips again, slipping her tongue between them. The sensation is familiar and new at the same time, as it always is. His cock starts to harden in anticipation.

Still at an awkward angle on the chaise, Jack tries to maneuver his other arm around her without breaking the kiss. He succeeds only in knocking their elbows together - more of a surprise than painful - and Phryne breaks the kiss with a laugh.

“Here,” she says, and with one fluid motion pushes away the table and straddles him, hands on his shoulders to keep her balance. Her dress, blue and shimmery, a perfect complement to her porcelain skin and her striking blue eyes, hikes up around her thighs.

His cock comes to attention so quickly it’s almost painful. The trousers that have been perfectly comfortable all day are suddenly inordinately tight. With an involuntary groan he grips her legs, hands resting over her garters. Also deep, fathomless blue, to match her dress. No dagger tucked away in them this time - he’s found that before, though, while making love to her. Lockpicks in her brassiere, forgotten notes tucked into her waistband. He huffs out a laugh.

“Something funny, Inspector?” she asks, head tilted in a question and a roguish smile on her face. The laugh broadens at the use of his title while she’s draped across him, hair mussed, lips devoid of gloss and paint (it’s probably all on his own lips, now), dress indecent even for her and cheeks flushed from arousal rather than rouge.

“Just thinking of the…surprises I sometimes find in your clothes, at times like this.” The soft chuckle she lets out drifts into a moan as he cants his hips upward, letting her feel the length of him against her. He’s got a few surprises in him too.

The heat of her, even through a few layers of clothing, nearly drives all rational thought from his brain. He reaches for the hem of her dress just as her hands shift on his shoulders, pulling at his braces. Glad he’s in shirtsleeves, he lets go of the dress long enough for the braces to fall to his hips before tugging at it again. Phryne lifts her arms so he can slide it off over her head, and he’s sure she wore this dress for this exact purpose. Easy to remove, no complicated buttons that she needs Mrs. Collins’s help with, and -

She’s not wearing a brassiere. He’s seen her bare plenty of times by now, and yet he’s still stunned every time. Feathering a kiss over each already-hard nipple, he revels in the way she arches toward him, the sounds she makes as he drags his teeth over her skin. He wraps his arms around her back, resting his palms on her buttocks, holding her close as he nuzzles the soft, warm skin between her breasts. She bends towards him, planting a disarmingly sweet kiss atop his head, and he grins into her chest.

Then she pushes against his shoulders, taking more of her weight back on her own knees, and starts to undo his shirt buttons. “You’re still wearing far too much clothing, Jack.” The care with which she undoes each button touches his heart. She wouldn’t care if some popped, or if the shirt itself ripped if she pulled it over his head. But she knows he cares, and she takes the time to take his shirt off properly.

But after all the buttons are undone and she slides it off, pressing a kiss to each of his hands as he raises them to let her pull the sleeves off, she reaches between them and cups him through his trousers, and suddenly he can’t care what happens to his clothes. He just needs them off, needs to feel every inch of her along every inch of him.

“Phryne,” he groans, unable to resist rocking against her hand.

“Jack,” she answers, low and hoarse, just as breathless as he is. She slides back to stand on her own feet, and he nearly whines with disapproval at the loss of her weight over him. But she reaches out a hand and pulls him to his feet, then reaches for the buttons of his trousers. Freeing his erection, she kneels, then bends forward without warning and licks a stripe along the underside of his cock, nearly sending him into the stratosphere.

In actuality he does almost topple over, tangled in his trousers and pants as he is, and Phryne falls into a fit of giggles. Jack can’t help laughing along as he drops back onto the chaise, wrestling his shoes off before divesting himself of the hopelessly rumpled last of his clothes. He can’t be embarrassed to be naked in her boudoir any longer, not after she’s made it abundantly clear just how much she enjoys looking at him. And when he looks up, she’s standing again and gazing appreciatively at him, hands on her hips and head angled down.

“Now you’re the one wearing entirely too much clothing, Miss Fisher.” He gestures at her legs, still hidden by her pants, stockings, and shoes. Her appreciative look turns sultry again, comfortable as the sole focus of his gaze. She bends to undo her shoes, trails her hands back up her legs to her garters, and Jack aches to follow them with his hands, his tongue. The stockings roll down, revealing the perfect porcelain of her legs. And finally, finally, she steps out of her knickers, kicking them to the side and exposing the patch of hair at the join of her thighs.

Before Jack can move, she’s straddling him again, kissing him deeply. The slickness of her body coats his thighs as he wraps his arms around her again, holding her close. He lets himself get lost in the kiss, in the heat, in her. It hasn’t been so long that he’s been allowed to do this, and it’s still a revelation every time.

To be allowed to openly say I love you, now, is another revelation. So when she breaks this kiss, trails more down his neck so he can’t help but arch toward her, as he pulls one hand back between them, he says it again. “I love you, Phryne,” and slips his hand between her legs.

She’s soaked. And the noises she makes, the way she grinds against his fingers, nearly push him over the edge when she’s barely even touched him. His cock throbs with want, insistent. Dragging his fingers over her clit, in slow circles the way he knows she likes, he takes one of her nipples in his mouth again. Gasping, she tangles her hands in his hair, holding his head as close to her body as she can. “Please, Jack, god,” she breathes out, her voice hitching with his ministrations.

He’s long lost the ability to voice a coherent reply. Angling his hand so his thumb can keep addressing her clit, he slides two fingers inside her. The bone-deep moan she lets out would be enough to keep him going for days all on its own, but it’s the pressure of her inner walls against his fingers that lives in his memory without end. He keeps his hand moving, a steady rhythm, as her hips rock faster and more erratically. Pushing his head back against her hands, he moves his mouth to her other breast. As he gently bites down on the peaked nipple, her whole body stiffens, her muscles tightening around his hand. A strangled stream of broken sounds and half-words falls from her lips. 

He works her through it, slowing his hand to a stop as she sags against him and pressing a kiss to her forehead, mussing her fringe even more. “God, Phryne,” he whispers against her skin, and he can feel her smile. “You’re beautiful.”

“I know,” she says, and he grins in delight. And then one of her hands slides down his back, making him shiver as it drags through the sweat that’s collected there, and over his hip. When she wraps her fingers around his cock, drawing them from base to tip, he can’t help but thrust against her, all the same noises that just came from her mouth coming from his now.

All sense of time deserts him, the world narrowing to the pressure of her weight on his thighs, her hand on his cock. And then she repositions herself, using that same hand to guide him inside her. He cries out, wordless, the bass counterpoint to her soprano cry of his name.

If someone asked him what he thought heaven would be like, this moment might be what Jack would think of. Hands gripping the soft flesh of Phryne’s backside, her weight on top of him, her hands on his shoulders and in his hair, as close as they can possibly be. She starts to move, working out how best to use gravity to get an angle that will work for them both, and he finds himself chanting her name.

The tension builds, at the base of his spine and the base of his cock, as he thrusts and Phryne rocks. His own voice pitches higher, then lower, as her rhythm hiccups and her breathing gets even more ragged. Jack forces his eyes open, taking in the sight of Phryne’s whole body flushed, spiraling, and it’s enough to send him over the edge. His fingers clench against her bottom, holding her close, and he screams.

Her fingernails dig into his shoulders, little pinpricks of sensation keeping him in his body as he floats on sensation, as she cries out and her whole body tenses, her inner muscles clenching around him and dragging another moan of pleasure out of his mouth.

Sagging against the chaise, boneless, Jack endeavors to hold them both upright as Phryne comes to rest against his chest. Her head fits just under his chin, even as they tilt slightly to one side. As he comes back to himself, he rubs one hand in circles across her back, relishing holding her like this.

A while - he couldn’t say how long, could’ve been five minutes or twenty - later, Phryne lifts her head back up, her eyes tired but shining. “Happy birthday, Jack,” she says again.

“Couldn’t have asked for better,” he replies, pressing her close with the hand still on her back.

Her smile could normally rival the sun, but no star could hold a candle to it now. And there’s no place he’d rather be.

[ajaneofmanytalents]

The simplest peanut butter cookies ever

first introduced to me by a member of my extended family

makes between 12 and 20 cookies depending on dollop size

1 egg

1 cup sugar

1 cup peanut butter

Mix together egg and sugar

Add peanut butter and mix well

Dollop dough onto cookie sheet

Bake for 6 to 8 minutes at 350°F

This recipe scales very easily. The amount of sugar can be cut back if desired, especially if you’re using peanut butter with sugar in it.

[heartofether]

Episode 15 - Elderberries TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

[LOWER-PITCHED AND SLOWER THAN NORMAL] Please state your message.

[THEME SONG PLAYS.]

VAL

Three-eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.

[THEME SONG FADES TO A STOP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. THE POPPY GARDEN MOTEL, AGENT MAY AND JUNES’ ROOM, EARLY MORNING.]

AGENT JUNE

Oh, is it on? I dunno how this recording device works. Would have been, like, ten times easier to just record on our phones, but, eh.

Anyways, it’s just me right now, which means I get to do all the talking. Guess I should, I dunno, talk about the mission? Daughtler?

Oh! I know. There’s this candy store downtown that displays massive gummy bears in the window, only it’s so hot outside that the bears have started melting. It’s some mix of disturbing, but also hilarious? Seriously, those bears look so sad, I can’t help but laugh.

Let’s see. Say, what’s that stupid thing he always says? [DRAMATICALLY MOCKING AGENT MAY] This is Operation Saturn, phase 1.2. Conducted by Agents May and June. All recordings are property of the—

[AS AGENT JUNE TALKS, THE DOOR IS HEARD OPENING AND CLOSING. THERE ARE FOOTSTEPS AS AGENT MAY WALKS IN.]

AGENT MAY

Here’s your coffee.

AGENT JUNE

Much obliged! Oh, you got it with oat milk, right?

AGENT MAY

[SLIGHTLY BITTER] It cost extra, but yes.

AGENT JUNE

Aw, hell yeah.

[AGENT JUNE TAKES HIS DRINK.]

AGENT MAY

I’ve never understood the excitement behind alternative milks.

AGENT JUNE

Hey, I’m lactose intolerant. Not that that would stop me from consuming dairy in most scenarios, but oat milk hits, alright? You should give it a shot.

AGENT MAY

I don’t put milk in my coffee, just sugar.

AGENT JUNE

Mm. Gross.

AGENT MAY

[HE HUFFS A SIGH.] Well, I’ll stop judging your coffee order if you stop judging mine.

AGENT JUNE

I’ll agree to that, sure.

[HE TAKES A SIP, THEN] See anything of note in the coffeeshop?

AGENT MAY

[UNCOMFORTABLY] Maybe. There was this girl sitting at a table. She was wearing all-black, which is strange considering the weather.

AGENT JUNE

Uh, ever heard of fashion? Dude, you literally wear a suit every day! No wonder you overheat. I mean, why do you think I skip the blazer?

AGENT MAY

[IRRITATED] At least I wear my tie correctly.

AGENT JUNE

I leave it undone on purpose, alright? It’s a statement.

AGENT MAY

Do you know how to tie a tie?

AGENT JUNE

[DEFENSIVE] Yes!

[AN UNCOMFORTABLY LONG PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

So, there was this girl in the coffeeshop.

AGENT MAY

She seemed fairly young. Must have been in either high school or college. She was staring at me over her laptop the whole time. Like she was, I don’t know, stalking prey. It was like her eyes were knives, and she was trying to carve my flesh off.

AGENT JUNE

So, she defo wasn’t just idly looking or whatever. Like, you’re pretty sure she was thinking about killing you?

AGENT MAY

Well, there’s no way I can know for certain, now, is there?

[A BEAT.] She was wearing a black fabric surgical mask, though.

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

Do you think she was—?

AGENT MAY

I can’t say for sure.

AGENT JUNE

I mean, it might have been an accessory, but we’re in Daughtler, Washington—

AGENT MAY

I’m not going back there to check. Okay? If we see her again, maybe we can consider interviewing her, but I don’t feel comfortable going back to see her.

AGENT JUNE

[UNDERSTANDING] Alright.

[AGENT MAY SIGHS.]

AGENT JUNE

[CONT.] Alright. I won’t force you.

AGENT MAY

I—I appreciate that.

[THERE'S A PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

Uh, how’d you sleep?

AGENT MAY

About as well as I could in a car seat.

AGENT JUNE

Okay, I can’t just keep letting you sleep in the car. It was kind of funny at first, but now I just— [HIS SENTENCE TRAILS OFF IN VAGUE STUTTERS.]

AGENT MAY

[BEAT.] Well?

AGENT JUNE

I feel bad! Alright? I mean, look at me, I have this whole room to myself, and meanwhile, my partner is sleeping in a company vehicle that may or may not have bloodstains in the backseat.

[BEAT, THEN] Actually, I’d love to talk about those weird dark stains later, because uh, what, but I’ll let it slide for now. It’s still gotta be super uncomfortable, though.

AGENT MAY

We could always take turns.

AGENT JUNE

No, what I’m saying is I don’t think either of us have to sleep in the car! There has got to be a better solution.

AGENT MAY

The Foundation already declined giving us a second room, or trying to transfer us to a larger one. Trust me, I tried.

AGENT JUNE

Dammit.

[A LONG PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

It's king-sized, you know.

[ANOTHER LONG PAUSE.]

AGENT MAY

Do you think the motel has spare blankets? I think I could try sleeping on the floor.

[THOUGH UNSEEN, AGENT JUNE LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA LIKE HE’S IN THE OFFICE.]

AGENT MAY

…I’ll go down and ask later.

AGENT JUNE

Good idea.

[A BEAT. THERE'S SUIT RUSTLING AS AGENT MAY CHECKS HIS WATCH.]

AGENT MAY

We should head out soon.

AGENT JUNE

You’re really glued to that watch of yours, huh?

AGENT MAY

Excuse me?

AGENT JUNE

Not that it’s bad, you just check it a lot. I don’t really know what watch etiquette is, but I think you look at it more than most people do. I’ve also noticed you tend to look at it more around specific times? Is there a reason, or—?

AGENT MAY

[MORE SERIOUS THAN THE CONVERSATION WARRANTS] It’s none of your business. Perhaps I simply prefer to keep on schedule. Let’s go.

AGENT JUNE

[SLIGHTLY CONFUSED] Oh, um, okay. Sorry. [UNDER HIS BREATH] Jeez. Let me just—

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER BEEP.]

[INT. THE OPEN EYES BOOKSTORE BACKROOM, EARLY, EARLY MORNING.]

HOLLY

Are you recording?

PHOEBE

Yes, yes, I am.

HOLLY

Kind of weird to be doing this so early in the morning.

PHOEBE

I’m sorry, I know it’s super early. Night just felt…well, it felt more dangerous, I guess? Even Grandma Doe recommended not doing it too late. I wanted to get it done before the shop opened, though.

HOLLY

Oh no, I don’t mind. I guess people usually just consider night to be “the witching hour.”

PHOEBE

This isn’t really witchcraft, though, is it?

HOLLY

Guess not. Most modern witchcraft is a lot more…chill, I guess?

PHOEBE

Right. [A BEAT.] Do you think it’s really a good idea to be doing this in the back room?

HOLLY

Well, it’s not like we have anywhere else. It’d be super shady if we did it right outside, and your forestry friend would be pissed if we went out into the woods to do it.

PHOEBE

[NERVOUS] There’s so much paper, though. I mean, we could easily set the whole thing alight. My apartment’s really small, I know, but maybe we could—?

HOLLY

Don’t worry about it. We did a pretty good job clearing stuff out to make space, I think. It should be fine, I mean, a lot of the most flammable stuff either got moved out or shoved against the wall.

Besides, didn’t she say that it might be good to do it here for like, symbolic purposes?

PHOEBE

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right. [SHE CHUCKLES.] Maybe this will finally give me incentive to organize everything.

HOLLY

[SHE LAUGHS, SOMEWHAT NERVOUSLY.] If this works, then hopefully you’ll be able to do that anyways.

PHOEBE

That’s true, yes. I, um, guess we should get started. Can you read the directions?

HOLLY

Of course.

[HOLLY IS HEARD UNFOLDING A PIECE OF PAPER.]

HOLLY

[READING] The purpose of all of this is energy. You are lighting fire to produce energy. You are grinding berries and eating them to produce it as well. Ether functions under this key desire for vitality. If you can understand this simple principle, this keen need it has, it will treat you much more kindly.

By designing this ritual for you, my hope is that it will spell out as clear as day to Ether what you are trying to achieve. It rarely gives people what they want, rather it gives what it sees fit for them. You must steer it in the correct direction, or else it will choose a different fate for you.

These instructions are similar to what Valencia and I did, as well as symbolic for what you hope to achieve. However, nobody has ever developed an exact science for how these rituals function. We may only rely on guesswork and hope. While I would like to develop more specific procedures and instructions, I do not know if I ever will. Perhaps that could be your task.

[BREAKING READING] Could I skip her whole monologue? We already read it, and I don’t think it’s important in-the-moment.

PHOEBE

Sure.

HOLLY

Cool.

[SHE FLIPS THE PAPER.]

HOLLY

Materials needed: Yarn or string to create a casting circle. Some people use salt, but it produces an awful mess. Several circles of yarn around you and your workspace will work just fine.

PHOEBE

We did that already.

HOLLY

Yup. [READING AGAIN] Three white candles with words carved into them. It does not matter what the words are, they simply have to be legible and completely cover the candle. No numbers. I just wrote out song lyrics on that one.

PHOEBE

Oh, that’s neat! I, um, did poems I like.

HOLLY

Cute. [A BEAT.] A lighter or match of some kind. Someplace to safely burn paper—we got a metal bin, so we’re good. Did you turn off the smoke alarm?

PHOEBE

I did, yeah.

HOLLY

Let’s hope the place doesn’t burn down, then. [CHUCKLE, THEN] I’m joking, I promise. It should be fine. [SHE CLEARS HER THROAT.]

A book—you will be tearing out each individual page, so to save time, I suggest a children’s book. A bowl or container of some kind. Elderberries, I recommend you cook them beforehand, but make sure none of them are pre-mashed. Something to mash the elderberries with. Finally, a few drops of your blood, or something to draw blood with. That’s what the sewing needle is for, right? You sure you don’t want a blade? I have a pocket knife.

PHOEBE

[UNCOMFORTABLE] I get nervous around knives, but thank you for the offer.

Oh—actually, I wanted to ask, um, where did you find elderberries? I couldn’t find them anywhere.

HOLLY

I asked the bartender down the street.

PHOEBE

Huh.

HOLLY

Yeah, they make all sorts of weird cocktails. Are you ready? Once we start, we can’t stop until it’s complete.

PHOEBE

[WITH WEIGHT, NERVOUS, BUT DETERMINED] I’m ready.

HOLLY

Okay.

[HOLLY FLIPS THE PAPER AGAIN. THERE’S A PAUSE.]

HOLLY

Phoebe?

PHOEBE

Yeah?

HOLLY

Whatever happens, I—we’ll be okay, alright? No matter what. I’ll make sure of it, I swear.

PHOEBE

[TENDERLY] Thank you.

[THERE’S A PAUSE AS THEY ARE HEARD KISSING. HOLLY TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]

HOLLY

Create a circle around— Okay, we already did that. Um, Start by lighting the candles.

[PHOEBE IS HEARD LIGHTING A MATCH AND LIGHTING ALL THREE CANDLES.]

HOLLY

Tear each individual piece of paper out of the book. One by one, burn each piece of paper using fire from the candles. Once you have burned each page, burn the cover. Do not attempt to put any of the fires out. This tedious process shows care and dedication. The blood in later steps is there for a similar purpose.

[PHOEBE IS HEARD TEARING PAGES OUT OF A CHILDREN’S BOOK AND LIGHTING THEM ON FIRE. THERE’S A LONG PAUSE AS SHE DOES SO.]

PHOEBE

Good thing this book only has twenty pages. [A BEAT.] What’s next?

[PHOEBE IS STILL TEARING PAPER IN THE BACKGROUND, AND THE BURNING SFX GOES ON FOR SOME TIME.]

HOLLY

Uh—place your elderberries in the bowl and begin mashing them in a clockwise motion. As you do this, speak out loud and ask Ether to grant you knowledge and the ability to see what others do not. There should be no misunderstanding in what you are trying to achieve, and if you have garnered Ether’s attention, it should have already decided what it shall do with you. [MUTTERS] Fuckin’ weird.

[PHOEBE CEASES HER PAGE-TEARING.]

PHOEBE

The book is done. Pass me the spice grinder with the berries?

[HOLLY PASSES PHOEBE THE SPICE GRINDER.]

PHOEBE

Thank you.

[PHOEBE IS HEARD GRINDING THE ELDERBERRIES.]

PHOEBE

[WHISPERING TO HERSELF] Ether, um, whoever or whatever you are, if you are listening to me, please grant me knowledge. Grant me the power to see what others do not. Let me see and know everything.

[THERE IS A RINGING HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND AS HOLLY SPEAKS.]

HOLLY

If this works, the words on the candle should begin to—holy—God!

[HOLLY STUMBLES BACK.]

PHOEBE

Glow?

HOLLY

[FREAKING OUT] Yup? Uh—they’re actually glowing, what the—

PHOEBE

[OVERLAPPING] What’s next?

HOLLY

Sorry, sorry. [SHE RUFFLES THE PAPER IN HER HAND.] Mix a few drops of your blood into the elderberries.

PHOEBE

Pass me the sewing needle.

[HOLLY PASSES PHOEBE THE NEEDLE. SHE PRICKS HER FINGER.]

PHOEBE

[UNDER HER BREATH] Ow.

[SHE LETS A FEW DROPS COME OUT, SUCKS ON HER FINGER BRIEFLY, THEN MIXES HER BLOOD IN.]

HOLLY

Drink the elderberry mash. You must consume every bit of it, or at least as much as you can.

PHOEBE

[GROWING IN A MIX OF PANIC AND EXCITEMENT] This is it—I mean—wait, I’m about to consume my blood, that’s weird, but—this is really it.

HOLLY

[ENCOURAGING] You can do it.

[PHOEBE IS HEARD DRINKING THE ELDERBERRY MASH. THERE IS A PAUSE.]

HOLLY

If successful, the candles will—

[THE CANDLES ARE HEARD EXTINGUISHING.]

HOLLY

…blow out.

PHOEBE

[SLIGHTLY SICK] I think I got it all.

HOLLY

How do you feel? Is—has anything changed?

PHOEBE

I feel…I feel like there’s a part of me that was never there before. Like, my internal self expands farther out than my physical self, like I’m floating, it’s—I need to go lie down.

HOLLY

I’ll take you upstairs. It worked, though?

PHOEBE

I think it did. I mean, Grandma Doe said I would feel some sort of immediate change, but the rest of it would trickle in slowly. I feel different, though.

HOLLY

[SLOWLY, CAUTIOUS] Does this mean you’re not human anymore?

PHOEBE

[A BEAT.] I haven’t thought about that. I mean, I think I might just kind of be human plus? I’m not sure. Grandma Doe was still mortal, after all—she felt pain, she got ill—her mind was just super advanced. Does that make me inhuman?

HOLLY

I…I don’t think so. I think you just have mind powers or whatever.

PHOEBE

I’ll think about it later. I’m just going to try to get some sleep before the shop opens.

HOLLY

You don’t even have to open today, you know. People will understand if you just say you’re ill. Or I could run it for today, since there’s usually less traction on weekdays.

PHOEBE

[SINCERE] Thank you.

HOLLY

Of course.

PHOEBE

[SHE SIGHS.] Okay, time to—

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S HOUSE, MIDDAY.]

IRENE

I just got home from work. Apparently, Phoebe did that ritual early this morning. It went well, from what Holly told me, though Phoebe’s been taking the day off to rest.

Oh, and they also posted that advert on the bulletin board yesterday. You know, for someone to develop Valencia’s film.

That’s not important right now. You know what is important?

This morning, at work, I opened up a folder on my computer and guess what was in it? A new audio recording where there shouldn’t be one. Guess the technological gods have decided to be generous today.

I decided to wait until I got off to listen to it. It’s dated shortly after the incident, so I think it might be important.

Besides, work has been…well, different, since the Spread. I haven’t told Carol or Aden that’s what it’s called, though. The whole incident brought us closer together, but I think that’s a double-edged sword. They know me well enough, now, I think they can tell I’m hiding something. Aden definitely knows I am—I mean, what I told him was pretty cryptic, but Carol I think just…knows. She’s just like that. [SCOFF] Maybe that’s part of her motherly instincts.

Right, that’s beside the point. Back to the recording.

Here goes nothing.

[IRENE CLICKS ON THE FILE.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. DRIVING, LATE AT NIGHT.]

[THERE IS THE AMBIANCE OF DRIVING DOWN A DESOLATE FOREST ROAD AS THEY TALK.]

UNKNOWN GIRL

Does it work?

ROSE

I believe so.

UNKNOWN GIRL

[SHE SNORTS.] About as well as a cheap cell phone from Walmart could, I imagine?

ROSE

It just has to be able to record and make emergency calls. I’m not too worried about it. Thank you, again. Really, I owe you.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Hey, I didn’t buy it. I just walked into the store and handed your money to the guy behind the counter. It’s not a big deal.

[DULLY SKEPTICAL] You’re trying pretty hard to cover up your tracks, you know. Destroying your phone, not wanting to be seen in public to go get a new one, only paying in cash. Almost makes it sound like you’re a criminal or something.

ROSE

[FRANTIC] I’m not! I swear, I’m not.

UNKNOWN GIRL

No need to get defensive. Look, I get it. We all have reasons to want to disappear. I’m surely in no position to judge.

You know, I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I feel like we might actually have a lot in common.

ROSE

Why is that?

UNKNOWN GIRL

We both don’t know where we’re going, or why.

ROSE

[UNDER HER BREATH] Oh, I know why.

UNKNOWN GIRL

So you do have a reason?

ROSE

It’s not a big deal.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Your secret’s safe with me, you know.

ROSE

It’s nothing. Really. Just…do you have to know or—?

UNKNOWN GIRL

Well, do I have any reason to?

ROSE

No, but do you even have a reason to be helping me?

UNKNOWN GIRL

[DEADPAN] What can I say? I’m a generous soul.

[A BEAT.] Say, why did you want something to record with, anyways?

ROSE

I, um—it’s stupid.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Try me.

ROSE

It’s—well. I guess I don’t want to be forgotten? I want some way for people to find out what happened to me when…if…you know. There’s…if something does happen to me, there’s at least one person who deserves to know.

UNKNOWN GIRL

You think you’re going to get yourself killed?

ROSE

I don’t know. I suppose it’s better to be safe than sorry?

UNKNOWN GIRL

But you have someone you know will want to listen. [CONNECTING THE DOTS] You weren’t a loner before you left, were you? You left someone important behind, and now you feel bad. You owe them an explanation.

ROSE

[UNCOMFORTABLY] Yes. Right. I guess.

[A BEAT.] I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Who did you abandon?

ROSE

[RAISING HER VOICE SLIGHTLY] I said I’m done.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Alright, alright.

[A BEAT.] If it makes you feel better, I’ll let you prod at me a bit.

ROSE

[HESITANT] Where did you get your name? Wednesday is such a unique name, I don’t think I’ve ever heard it outside of stories.

WEDNESDAY [UNKNOWN GIRL]

It’s certainly no ‘Mary,’ is it?

ROSE

I mean, obviously. My name’s pretty basic.

WEDNESDAY

I actually chose it after I left home. Not like that, just never liked the name my parents gave me. Kept the last name ‘White,’ though. It has a ring to it.

ROSE

Was there a reason for it, or did it just sound nice?

WEDNESDAY

When people meet someone with a weird name, that tends to be the thing that most grabs their attention. “I met a girl named after a day of the week today, isn’t that bizarre?” I didn’t want to be remembered for anything I didn’t want people to see. If one thing was going to stick with them, it would be my name, but not quite the face that goes with it. Just the girl with an odd name.

ROSE

So you want to be forgotten?

WEDNESDAY

Not forgotten, but I want control over the memory of me. I want to fade away into obscurity, but not obscure enough that it’s suspicious.

ROSE

[KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE] You’ve thought about this a lot.

WEDNESDAY

When you’re like me, you have to.

ROSE

Wh—what does that—

WEDNESDAY

[OVERLAPPING] Do you need me to stop at the gas station up ahead?

[THERE’S A SLIGHTLY TOO LONG PAUSE.]

ROSE

Um, yeah, I have to—

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[INT. IRENE’S HOUSE, EARLY EVENING, THE SAME DAY.]

[THERE’S A LONG PAUSE.]

IRENE

[STILL PROCESSING IT AS SHE SPEAKS.] Okay. Okay! This is definitely a start. A great start, actually!

Okay, let’s see, uh—after you ran away, you destroyed your phone—no wonder the police couldn’t track it—and then you went with some person named Wednesday.

That’s definitely a start. If I can figure out where Wednesday—White, was it?—yeah, Wednesday White. I know Wednesday probably isn’t her legal name, but I might still be able to find her somewhere. If I can find Wednesday White, I might have a good shot at finding you. That’s great news!

[A SLIGHTLY TOO LONG PAUSE.]

IRENE

[HER ENTHUSIASM DYING] I don’t trust Wednesday, though.

[A BEAT.] Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be so skeptical. I mean, you’re not an idiot, Rose. You wouldn’t hitch hike with just any random stranger. Would you? Doesn’t even seem like you gave her your real name, she called you ‘Mary.’

[SHE HUFFS A SIGH.] Maybe I’m just being defensive. Still, she seemed off, didn’t she? That whole thing she said about her name just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. She prodded a lot, too. Almost as if she wanted to make you uncomfortable.

I could be reading into it too much. I guess I won’t know until I find her. Hopefully, she didn’t fade into obscurity too much. There’s gotta be some record of her existence online. If I’m lucky, she might be on social media or something. Who knows? Lots of time has passed.

[A PAUSE, THEN, SOFTLY] That person, you—were you recording for me? You wanted me to know you hadn’t abandoned me on purpose. [HURT] And here I was, thinking you would just leave without reason. That you had betrayed me in some way. I’m—Rose, I’m so sorry—

[JUST AS SHE SAYS “SORRY,” HER PHONE BEGINS VIBRATING. SHE PICKS IT UP.]

IRENE

[SKEPTICAL] There’s an unknown number calling me.

[SHE ANSWERS.]

IRENE

Hello?

CALLER

Hello? Is this the person who posted an ad outside of Open Eyes Bookstore?

IRENE

Oh! Um, yeah, that’s me. Wow, I didn’t expect to hear from someone so fast.

CALLER

I’m an observant person. I like to make my rounds throughout the town. You’ll never know what you’ll find, after all. Or who.

Anyways, you have some film that needs to be developed, right? Well, it just so happens to be your lucky day, because I have a dark room.

IRENE

That’s fantastic. I can pay you however much you want, just—

CALLER

[OVERLAPPING] Oh, that won’t be necessary. I’m studying photography, so the experience is payment enough. No worries!

IRENE

That’s very kind of you, thank you.

CALLER

Of course!

Oh, where are my manners? My name is Sadie. Sadie Creed. And you are…?

IRENE

Irene.

SADIE

Irene! How cute. Where do you want me to pick up your film?

IRENE

Um, I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but I would prefer to meet out in the open? Is that a problem?

SADIE

Not at all. How about Lemongrass Park?

IRENE

That’s actually perfect, yeah.

SADIE

Great! I’m happy to meet you tomorrow night at 8:00, if that time works for you? I know that’s a bit late, but I work at the candy shop until then.

IRENE

That should be fine, yeah.

SADIE

Looking forward to it! Pleasure doing business with you, Irene. Bye-bye!

[SADIE HANGS UP.]

IRENE

Huh. Well, I guess that solves that.

Time to go find Wednesday White.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: A wave of grass engraves upon the stone: ‘There is more than one good way to drown.’

Sylvia Plath in "Epitaph in Three Parts," 1955.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

MICRO-COSMOS PROMOTIONAL AD [written by Jesse Smith]

[THERE ARE STATIC NOISES.]

ATHENA

This is Communications Athena Romero of OEC #0137-F recording from a… still, unknown location on the infant planet Ophiuchus-22. Though I have my… well, rational, doubts, something in me feels as though this transmission might actually be reaching someone. Might just be desperation, though. Most likely just desperation. Regardless. We would appreciate any and all OC representatives or employees, or individuals otherwise receiving this transmission, to please send a response. We have been recording mandatory and otherwise necessary emergency chronicling logs for days now. Please.

[WE HEAR MILES'S FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]

MILES

(distant) Athena, are you sending out another transmission? They’re not going to-

[C41 APPEARS WITH THEIR USUAL PING.]

C41

Shhh, let her do her thing, Miles. She needs to set her character up correctly for the new listeners that are hearing this promotional advertisement.

MILES

The new— what?

C41

What?

MILES

What are you talking about?

FELIX

I believe what Cal is doing is called “breaking the fourth wall,” my friend.

MILES

Breaking the what now?

C41

Oh, just forget about it.

[MILES GROANS; WE HEAR ALEX APPROACH.]

ALEX

What about a promotional advertisement?

ATHENA

Guys, could you… [SIGHS] I am trying to finish this log, so could you please give me a moment?

ALEX

Sorry, Starshine, I just got a little caught up in the whole “self-aware and breaking the fourth wall” thing.

ATHENA

It’s… fine.

C41

If I were you, Athena, I would close your log out by telling the listener to tune in to Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts! The show is created by a crew of LGBTQ+ people, and features strange infant planets, brief romantic scenes before epic tragedy, cool sci-fi terminology, and adorably talented AI units, like myself!

ATHENA

Micro-?

C41

More information on the show can be found on its website: “microcospod.space”, OR its Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, or TikTok, which all have the handle “@microcospod.”

MILES

… uh huh.

[THE CREW SITS IN SILENCE FOR A SECOND.]

C41

That’s just what I would say, though.

MILES

… Cal, we really need to figure out what is going on with this new phase of yours.

[biostudyblog]

Biochemistry

Update: Pictures are working!

Atoms

There are a few basic chemistry concepts that are essential to understand. For starters, understanding what an atom is and its basic properties.

Atoms are the building block of all matter. They have a positive nucleus, with positive protons, and neutral neutrons. In a large area surrounding the nucleus, is the electron cloud, made of negatively charged electrons.

An atom in its elemental state is always neutral.

When an element has a charge, it is because it has an unequal number of protons an electrons, making it an ion. Sometimes an element’s nucleus has an unequal number of neutrons and protons, making it an isotope. Carbon-14, for example, has 8 neutrons, instead of the 6 that Carbon-12 has. Carbon-14 is also a radioisotope, meaning it emits particles and decays at a rate called a half-life, making it useful for fossil dating. Along with that, radioactive carbon can be used as a tracer. This means it is incorporated in CO2 molecules and used to track metabolic pathways.

The location of the electron affects how the atom will react with other elements. When electrons are in the lowest available energy level, they are in the ground state. When they absorb energy, they move to a higher energy level, entering the excited state. For instance, when chlorophyll absorbs light energy, electrons within it are boosted to higher energy levels. This provides the energy necessary to produce sugar when they return to their ground state level as they release the energy they absorbed.

Bonding

Elements bond when two nuclei are attracted to each other. Energy is released when a bond is formed. All atoms want to either get rid of all their electrons on their outer shell or fill their outer shell with 8 (or in hydrogen’s case, 2) electrons, which makes them stable. There are 3 kinds of bonds, but for biochemistry, Ionic and covalent bonds are what is relevant.

Ionic bonds form ions (hence the name.) They occur when electrons are transferred. The atom that gains electrons becomes a negatively charged anion. The atom that loses electrons becomes a positively charged cation.

Covalent bonds are made when electrons are shared. This occurs when the two atoms have electronegativities that are closer together than in an ionic bond. Electronegativity is the tendency of an atom to pull electrons towards it. These bonds can be polar if the electronegativity is high enough. A polar molecule is a molecule with a partial charge. For example, water is a polar molecule, as oxygen is extremely electronegative, and water is partially electronegative.

Hydrogen Bonding

Hydrogen bonding is a specific kind of intermolecular force that is essential to life. It is what keeps the 2 strands of DNA bonded together, and gives water its unique characteristics. Since oxygen has a partial negative charge, and hydrogen has a partial positive charge, they are naturally drawn to each other.

Hydrophobic vs Hydrophilic

Polar molecules are hydrophilic. This is because they are attracted to the partially charged ends of water. Hydrophilic means they are attracted to water. (Not in that way... sick) NaCl or table salt is hydrophilic. This is why salt dissolves in water.

Non-polar molecules are hydrophobic. This means they are repelled by water. (They’re filthy water haters.) Lipids are hydrophobic, which is why fats and oils do not dissolve in water.

The cell membrane is a phospholipid bilayer, only allowing nonpolar substances to dissolve through it. Large polar molecules have to use specific hydrophilic channels.

Characteristics of Water

Water is a unique molecule, and without its unique properties, life on earth would not exist as it does, or even at all.

Water has a high specific heat: Because hydrogen bonds are so strong, it requires a lot of heat energy to break them. This is why large bodies of water remain the same temperature, and why coastal cities have a consistent temperature because the water absorbs all the heat energy before it can warm up.

Water has a high heat of vaporisation: A large amount of energy is needed for water to vaporise, which is why sweating is such an effective cooling method.

Water has high adhesion properties: Adhesion is when one substance clings to another. Adhesion causes capillary action, which occurs in the xylem of plants, and is used to bring water up from the roots without expending energy.

Water is a universal solvent: Due to its high polarity, water makes an excellent solvent.

Water is extremely cohesive: Molecules of water tend to stick to each other. This is observed in surface tension and allows for small insects to run across the surface of the water. Cohesion is also necessary to bring water up from the roots, by transpirational-pull cohesion tension.

Ice is less dense than water: Instead of freezing all the way through, ice crystallises, leaving large amounts of space, causing ice to float. This is essential for the survival of marine life during the winter, as they can live beneath the ice.

pH

pH is calculated by taking the -log of the chance of finding hydronium (H30+) ions within a certain amount of water. Hydronium is made in rare circumstances, where a hydrogen ion breaks off from a water molecule. Normally, there is a 1 in 10 million chance of there being a hydronium ion. This is the equivalent of 1x10^-7. The -log of this number is 7, the neutral pH.

Any pH below 7 is acidic. Any pH above 7 is basic. Stomach acid has a pH of 2, while bleach has a pH of 11. Human blood has a pH of around 7.4

Most living cells need to have an internal environment with a pH of around 7. Buffers exist to regulate pH by either absorbing excess hydrogen ions or donating missing hydrogen ions. In human blood, the bicarbonate ion (HCO3) is essential.

Macromolecules

There are 4 types of macromolecules: carbohydrates, lipids, proteins, and nucleic acids.

Carbohydrates

Carbohydrates are made of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. They supply quick and easy energy. 1 gram of all carbohydrates will release 4 calories of energy. In our diet, they can be found almost everywhere in foods such as rice, pasta, bread, cookies, etc.

There are 3 kinds of carbohydrates: monosaccharides, disaccharides, and polysaccharides.

Monosaccharides

All monosaccharides have a chemical formula of C6H12O6. It is the placement of the carbon, oxygen, and hydrogen that determines its properties. Glucose, fructose, and galactose are all examples. They are isomers, meaning they have the same chemical formula, but a different structure.

Disaccharides

When 2 monosaccharides join together, they create disaccharides. They all have the chemical formula C12H22O11. Dehydration synthesis is the process that creates them. This process releases 1 molecule of water, hence the name. Lactose, maltose, and sucrose are all examples.

Hydrolysis is the exact opposite of dehydration synthesis. It is used during digestion. One molecule of water is used to breakdown polymers into monomers.

Polysaccharides Polysaccharides are long polymers of carbohydrates. Cellulose (plant cell wall), chitin (exoskeleton, fungi cell wall), glycogen (how animals store carbohydrates) and starch (how plants store carbohydrates) are all examples.

Lipids

Lipids include fats, oils, and waxes. Most contain 1 glycerol and 3 fatty acids. Glycerol is alcohol.

Fatty acids are the building blocks of lipids and are hydrocarbon chains with carboxyl groups at the end. There are 2 varieties; saturated and unsaturated. (3 if you count trans-fats when extra hydrogen is added to the fat to make the lipid solid)

Saturated fats are solid at room temperature, and are famously unhealthy as they are linked to heart disease.

Unsaturated fats are liquid at room temperature and are good dietary fats.

Lipids store much more energy than carbohydrates. 1 gram of any lipid will release 9 calories of heat per gram. They can be structural, as in the phospholipids of the cell membrane, or they can be hormones.

Proteins

Proteins are polymers of amino acids linked together by peptide bonds.

Amino acids are identifiable by their carboxyl group, amine group, and variable R, attached to a central carbon atom.

Proteins are complex and perform a vast array of duties, such as growth and repair, being enzymes, membrane channels, and hormones.

1 gram of protein releases 4 calories of heat.

Proteins contain the elements C H O N P S

There are only 20 amino acids coding for the thousands of proteins in the human body.

Protein Structure

There are 4 levels to the structure of a protein.

The primary structure results from the sequence of amino acids making up the polypeptide

The secondary structure results from hydrogen bonding within the molecule. This causes a helical structure

The tertiary structure is an intricate 3-dimensional shape or conformation of a protein and most directly decides the function of the protein. Enzymes denature in high temperatures or in the wrong pH because the tertiary structure is compromised.

The quaternary structure is only found in proteins that have more than 1 polypeptide chain, such as in haemoglobin.

Enzymes

Enzymes are large proteins

Enzymes lower the energy of activation, speeding up the reaction, as it lowers the amount of energy needed to start the reaction.

The chemical an enzyme works on is known as a substrate

Enzymes are specifically designed for specific substrates. For example, lactase only works on lactose. Notice the naming pattern for enzymes and their substrates.

The induced fit model is an explanation for how they work. When the substrate enters the active site, it induces the enzyme to change its shape to fit the substrate.

Enzymes can be reused as they do not degrade during a reaction

Enzymes are assisted by cofactors (minerals) or coenzymes (vitamins)

Prions

Prions are proteins that cause diseases. Mad cow disease is an example. It is a misformed protein able to influence other proteins to fold in the same way.

Nucleic Acids

There are 2 kinds of nucleic acids: RNA and DNA. They are necessary for carrying genetic information.

Nucleic acids are polymers of nucleotides

The nucleotides are the two purines: Adenine and Guanine, and the 3 pyrimidines, Thymine, Uracil, and Cytosine. Uracil is only found in RNA, and thymine is only found in DNA. Adenine connects with thymine/uracil, and guanine connects with cytosine.

[hypnoshatesme]

Portugal

Porto

Michael flinched as he watched yet another person jump from the bridge. He had barely managed to stifle a yelp when he had seen the first person jump when they arrived at the riverside. It didn’t get any easier, no matter if he knew they were fine and climbing out of the river moments later just to go again.

So Michael looked away instead, focussing on Gerry, who was sitting across from him and was enjoying the skewered Portuguese marmalade and cheese. He had somehow managed to already get a tan and it stood out against the light blue flower-patterned shirt. He looked content, sitting in the half-shade, hair pulled into a low ponytail. Michael smiled.

“Enjoying the view?”, Gerry teased after a while passed with Michael just staring at him dreamily. He wasn’t even blinking.

He did blink, then, cheeks turning slightly red, “Uh...yes.”, his smile was bashful, “You...it’s nice to see you in colour? With your tan. It...looks good."

Gerry grinned, taking another sip from his glass, “Don’t get used to it. I’ll be back to black as soon as the sun stops trying to cook me.”

Michael chuckled, tucking a curl behind his ear, “I’m sure that’ll still look striking.”

“You’ve got a bit of a tan yourself, by now.”, Gerry decided to point out, nodding towards the arm laying on the table where Michael was playing with the toothpicks left from their food.

Michael followed his gaze. He shrugged, “Barely noticeable, really.”

“Mhm, maybe, but the freckles are. And I love them.”, Gerry ran his finger over the freckles on Michael’s arm, now much more noticeable than they were only a week or so before.

Michael watched his finger, blushing lightly at the words, “I mean...those are always there, it’s not really-”

Gerry sighed, “Hush. Accept the compliment and eat.”, he held out the last little skewer to Michael’s lips.

He hesistated a moment, but ate it. Gerry grinned, satisfied, and Michael smiled back at him. The freckles in his face were also more visible by now. It looked wonderful and Gerry smiled.

*

Aveiro

Gerry wasn’t really listening to the guide, eyes lazily taking in the little stands along the riverside, letting the strange voices wash over him. They had wandered the market earlier, spontaneously deciding on joining a boat tour through the city after lunch. The gentle movement of the boat was making Gerry sleepy and he sighed.

“We should check out the salt museum later.”, Michael whispered, leaning in a little so Gerry could hear him.

Gerry took a moment to find his way back from his reverie. He looked at Michael, sitting next to him in the boat, wearing a too bright turquoise shirt he had bought the day before, eyes alight and excited as he continued to listen to the guide. His nose was going slightly red despite of the straw head giving some shade to his face. He looked lovely.

“We should.", Gerry said, looking at the salt mounds the guide was pointing out, "Are you feeling warm or are you starting to get a sunburn?”, he asked, gently touching the tip of Michael's nose with his fingers.

“Both. I was thinking that I should have brought sunscreen…", he chuckled, "Our boatmates were smarter than us.", he added as the family sitting across from them was passing a bottle of sunscreen between them.

Gerry watched them. They were pale, all four of them, but speaking Portuguese with each other. Gerry spaces out a little, only noticing when the girl shyly held out the sunscreen towards him. It took him a moment to understand.

"Oh, uh, thanks.", he mumbled, taking the bottle from her, "Ah...obrigado."

She smiled at him, before going back to talking to what looked like her mother next to her.

"Was that correct?", Gerry mumbled, giving Michael the bottle.

Michael nodded, taking the bottle and squirting some cream into his hands before spreading it on his face, "Yes, and you should take some yourself, your shoulders are a little red."

Gerry smiled, taking some sunscreen himself before giving the bottle back to the girl with another thank you.

“Did I spread it all?”, Michael asked, looking at him.

Gerry grinned as he saw the bit of cream on his cheek, “Close.”, he carefully brought his hand to Michael’s face, spreading the rest, too.

“Thank you!”, Michael smiled, before looking back at the guide, lacing his fingers through Gerry’s. Gerry leaned back again, watching the sunlight play on the water, squeezing Michael’s hand softly.

*

Serra da Estrela

“Gerry, let’s keep one.”, Michael giggled as another fluffy puppy joined the pile he was sitting in and licked his face.

“I think they get a bit big for the London apartment, don’t you think?”, Gerry chuckled, amused, scratching one of the dogs behind its ear, trying very hard to to keep the tongue from reaching his face.

Michael sighed, hugging the one still licking his face close and burying his face in its fur, “But they’re cute, Gerry. Maybe we should move.”

Gerry laughed, and the puppy took the opportunity to lick his jaw, “Do you want to start anew as a sheep herder?”

“Why not?”

“Quite a lot of change just to keep a dog.”, Gerry grinned and ran his fingers through the soft, black fur of the puppy licking his neck.

Michael looked up from his furry pillow, petting a different puppy that was nosing his side curiously, “You like sheep.”

Gerry laughed, “Well, I can’t debate that. I do like sheep. Guess it’s decided then.”, the puppy licked his hand, “I want a black one, though.”

Now Michael laughed, clear as bells, “Of course.”

Gerry might seriously consider it if it would mean hearing that laughter more often. He smiled, getting up from his crouching position and dusting himself off.

“Getting some water from inside, I assume you’d rather stay where you are?”, he asked, looking at Michael still trying to please every fluffball eagerly trying to play with him, to get his attention.

He was dusty and full of dog hair and saliva, the wind making his hair stick to it. It was really quite disgusting, yet Gerry felt very warm at the sight. He had to remember not to kiss Michael before he had washed his face, though. Michael nodded, giving him a bright smile, a strand of hair sticking to the corner of his mouth. Gerry sighed and shook his head, smiling. He headed inside the café to wash his hands and buy some water.

*

Penacova

The rain had stopped, gone as quickly as it had started, and they finally left the café they had ducked into when it had started.

“Do you smell that?”, Michael mumbled when they stepped outside.

Gerry took in a deep breath, “I do. What is it? It’s...fresh.”

Michael looked around, “Probably the trees? The rain it just made it more intense...pine and eucalyptus, I think.”

“It’s amazing. People should get unto this and make scented candles.”, Gerry mumbled with another deep breath.

Michael smiled, “Oh, I’d love that…”

They walked over to the windmills they had come to check out, many old and in ruins, but quite a few were still whole. They took some pictures of them as they walked around, occasionally stopping to enjoy the view over the valley, mostly trees with the occasional cluster of houses. Peaceful. Gerry sat down on the rocky ground and closed his eyes, sighing. The temperature was perfect after the rain, and the air smelled amazing, and he might just stay here.

Michael took a picture of him, trying to capture his serene expression without disturbing him. Gerry noticed, though, and opened his eyes again, “Well, at least come here and take a picture of us both, Michael.”

“You know I don’t look good in pictures.”, Michael mumbled.

“No, that’s what you say, I never agreed with that. Move your ass here, it’s the best view.”

Michael sighed, walking towards were Gerry was sitting, “Is that why you had your eyes closed?”, he mumbled, taking in the view that was, indeed, impressive. Everything looked so vivid after the rain, the trees a brilliant green.

Gerry got up, “So, do you want windmills or that in the background?”

“Both?”, Michael smiled.

Gerry chuckled, “So much for no pictures.”

They took a couple pictures facing both ways. As they were facing the windmills Michael saw something white move in the corner of his eye. He looked towards it and one of the windmills had started to move, the only one that had canvas on the blades. Michael had wondered about that earlier, assuming it served to show how they used to look like when still in use. He didn't think it would actually still be able to move.

“Gerry, that one is actually working!”, he pointed at it, barely able to contain his excitement. He looked at Gerry in awe, “Do you think we can go inside?”

Gerry grinned and took Michael’s hand, “Only one way to find out…”, pulling him towards the turning windmill,

*

Coimbra

“Oh wow, that one looks like a tiny piece of art.”, Michael said when Gerry set down the plates, “What’s this one?”, he added, pointing at the pastry in front of himself.

Gerry sat down himself, starting to add the sugar to his coffee, “It does. And I’m not going to even try pronouncing that, I kept the bill to show you.”, he put the small piece of paper on the table and slid it towards Michael, “That one’s mine, so yours is this.”, he pointed to the text on the paper.

Michael knit his brows, “Feijão? Didn’t we have that word a couple days ago at lunch? Wasn’t it...beans?”

Gerry shrugged, “Maybe? Look it up.”

Michael did just that, phone already in his hand before Gerry had finished speaking.

“It is beans!”, he smiled, clearly proud he had managed to remember the word. Then he looked at the pastry again, “But it’s sweet?”

Gerry sipped his espresso, “They don’t have much non-sweet pastries here, do they?”

Michael looked at him, “That’s a lie, you’ve eaten like two kilogrammes of rissois since we arrived.”

Gerry raised an eyebrow, “Okay, first of all, that’s an exaggeration. Also, it’s not true, I’ve eaten those other ones. With fish and those green spots?"

Michael drew his eyebrows together, thinking, "The codfish ones. Hum…bolinhos de bacalhau, if I remember correctly."

"Those.", Gerry nodded, "You on the other hand have had rissois literally everywhere we went.”, he added with a grin.

Michael blushed a little, but his mouth pulled into a smile, “I have to see where they’re the best in case we ever come back.”

And Gerry was surprised at how casually Michael said 'we', how nonchalantly he spoke about possibly coming back in the future. Michael was usually so careful to not allow himself to say something like that, to give himself hope, only for it to possibly be crushed. But his smile was easy as he put half of the sugar packet into his espresso before giving the rest to Gerry. Gerry took it, still a little surprised, and added it to his coffee.

Michael eyed the pastry a little suspiciously while stirring his coffee for a moment. It looked normal enough. He wasn't too sure about sweet beans, though. He wasn't even a big fan of non-sweet ones, despite having quite liked the ones served for lunch a couple days earlier. He was biting his lip , nervously. Michael wasn't too good with new foods, but he had been determined to get better at it. And he had. But they still made him anxious.

"Should I try it first?", Gerry asked, biting into his own pastry.

Michael watched him as his lips pulled into an approving smile before biting into the pastry again. There had yet to be a pastry Gerry didn't approve of, but Michael liked trying to rank the smiles, trying to guess whether Gerry liked this one more than the one before, if his eyes lit up just as much or if it was more of a satisfied 'good, but not as good'. Michael loved seeing the childlike joy on his face as he ate himself through Portuguese sweets. He'd never tire of seeing that.

Michael shook his head, though, bringing his own pastry to his lips and biting down, still a little reluctantly. Gerry finished his coffee and his own pastry, trying not to add to Michael's anxiety by watching for his reaction.

"Oh! It's good!", he said eventually, smiling. "Very sweet though. Help me with the rest?", he chuckled, holding the rest out to Gerry across the table.

Gerry grinned, taking a big bite out of it. It was good. Definitely on the too sweet side for Michael.

He licked his lips, grinning, "What would you do without me?"

Michael chuckled, "Apparently, I'd have a lot of half-eaten pastries.", he popped the last bit of the pastry into his mouth. He smiled, taking in the old buildings and cobblestone street. A group of students in uniform were setting up at the corner across the café they were sitting at.

"Ah, they look like they'll start playing over there…", he mumbled, nodding towards the group and finishing his coffee.

Gerry followed his gaze, "Want to go listen?"

"I know you don't like it much."

"But you do. And really, I only dislike the actual singing. The guitars sound nice.", he got up from his seat, "Come, we'd be heading that way anyways."

Michael got up, too, taking Gerry's outstretched hand and walking with him as the first gentle chords were plucked on the guitar across the street.

*

Figueira da Foz

Micha shivered as a gentle wave reached his feet. Gerry grinned, but he, too, felt the gooseflesh spread from where the water reached his ankles. It was a hot day and they had both decided they needed to cool down after laying in the sun for so long, but the water was a little cooler than anticipated.

"Frigid.", Michael hissed as a second wave reached them and he took half a step back.

Gerry looked at him. Michael was hugging himself, face obscured by curls that had escaped his ponytail during his nap earlier. There was still sand stuck on his face where he had somehow managed to shuffle off the towel in his sleep, despite Gerry doing his best to stop him without waking him.

"I think a lot is just you being, quite literally, very hot.", Gerry winked at him and gently splashed a bit of water at Michael's legs with his foot.

Michael squeaked, jumping back which only upset the water further, splashing more of it up his legs, "Gerry!"

Gerry laughed, "What was that noise?"

"Oh, shut up!", Michael mumbled, face red - probably not just from the heat - and splashed some water back at Gerry, making him hiss.

Gerry grinned at him, mischievous glint in his eyes, before splashing more water back at Michael. Michael looked at Gerry with something akin to a pout at that, eyebrows knitted, before his face slowly morphed into a grin himself, tentative but playful, before he splashed back. Gerry huffed a laugh before running further into the ocean, splashing more water from there. Michael laughed, a little high pitched, trying to splash Gerry without getting too much further into the cold water himself.

It was a back and forth, hisses turning into laughter as both of them got used to the temperature somewhat. Gerry tried to get closer when he was basically drenched himself, tried to pull Michael into a hug, but Michael slipped away and ran. Gerry chased him, slowed by the slightly deeper water but he didn't really care, laughing as Michael nearly stumbled into the water himself. Gerry took the opportunity of Michael steadying himself to finally close in, wrapping his cooled arms around Michael's mostly dry and warm neck, grinning widely.

Michael bit his lip hard, stifling a yelp and recoiled, pushing Gerry away, making him lose balance. Gerry tried to let go of Michael, but didn't quite manage, pulling him along as he fell. Michael couldn't quite stop the surprised squeak escaping him as they hit the ground.

Gerry’s back hit the sand in the shallow water, and Michael gave his best to not land on top of him with his full weight, landing half in the sand instead with a wet thud. He propped himself up, looking at Gerry with a worried expression, “Are you okay?”

Gerry looked up at him and giggled, and Michael's eyes widened in surprised because that was a noise he never heard before. Gerry was squinting a little, the sun hitting his eyes, turning them to dark honey, and he looked happy and relaxed, beautiful, and Michael bent down to kiss him. He felt Gerry smile against his lips, and his heart fluttered.

*

Óbidos e proximidades

“That liquor was amazing, wasn’t it?”

Gerry grinned, watching the trees go by as they drove on, “I didn’t think you’d be much of a liquor person, Michael.”

“Well, I’ve never had it served to me in tiny chocolate cups!”

“So, that’s what it takes, huh?”, Gerry looked at him in the driver’s seat.

He had gotten used to driving on the wrong side - well, the right side - and while his face was still the definition of focus as he looked at the street in front of him, he at least didn’t look horribly tense anymore, eyes no longer permanently wide behind his sunglasses, fingers no longer clutching the wheel, but laying there elegantly, comfortably. Michael shrugged - holding a conversation had been quite impossible in the beginning, too, though Gerry didn’t mind silent car rides - and smiled, and Gerry hummed appreciatively, before turning to look out of the window again.

The trees became smaller, and endless, “Where are we even? Are those peaches?”

Michael mumbled, “I’m afraid I probably took a wrong turn or something…”, he glanced at the trees, “Do you want to look at the trees?”

Gerry nodded, “They look tasty, stop the car.”

“Gerry! You can’t just steal peaches.”, and the usual edge of nervousness was back in his voice.

Gerry grinned, “There’s nothing and nobody around, I’m sure they won’t be missed.”

Michael gave him a nervous glance, but did pull over.

“You can stay in the car, if you want?”, Gerry said as he got out himself.

Michael looked at him, panicked, “What? No! Somebody could come and-”

“Okay, okay, get out, then.”, Gerry chuckled, closing the door and stretching as he waited for Michael to walk around to meet him.

They walked for a bit, just because Gerry knew Michael would be more at ease when they were out of sight of the street, and also because it was nice. The air was sweet, it was warm but not too hot, and the trees were pretty. Michael’s nervousness was replaced by awe as he looked around, took in the vivid colours of the leaves and fruits.

Gerry finally caved in and plucked a peach, biting into it before Michael had the time to do anything besides looking at him in shock.

It was sweet and juicy and Gerry wasn’t even bothered by the fact that it was a little warm from the sun. They had already established that fruit was just better here, but this somehow even managed to outdo what they’d gotten at the markets around the country.

He licked his lips, looking at the peach in his hand in amazement, “Oh wow, I think...I think I’ll just be sad next time I eat a peach at home.”

“Didn’t you say that about the pear you ate this morning?”, Michael asked, unable to really keep the amusement out of his eyes as he was still trying to give Gerry a disapproving look for stealing fruit.

Gerry grinned up at him, handing him the peach, “Try.”

Michael stared at it for a moment, conflicted, but ended up taking it with a sigh, biting into it. His eyes widened, “Oh, okay...yes. Wow. I don’t even like peaches that much, but this is good...”, he took another bite.

Gerry laughed, “Well, if you’re going to finish it, at least get me another one.”

“Get one on your own, the trees are small enough.”, Michael grinned, licking the juice of his lips.

“Oh, now you’re going cheeky on me, I see…”, Gerry chuckled, taking another peach from the tree before walking on. Michael followed, already finishing his own.

*

Nazaré

Michael was standing dangerously close to the edge. Gerry got it, it was quite the view. The beach looked emptier now than it had in the morning, only a couple people left. They looked like ants. The sun was reflecting on the water, waves leaving glimmering foam on the sand. It was all very beautiful to look at, but Michael was standing unnecessarily close. He looked enraptured, eyes big, staring at the waves crashing against the rocks right beneath them. Well, many meters beneath them.

It was starting to unnerve Gerry, so he took Michael’s hand. Michael snapped out of it and took a step back. Gerry couldn’t keep in the sigh of relief. Michael looked at him, confused.

“You looked like you might jump.”, Gerry tried to say it in a teasing voice, but didn’t quite manage.

Michael looked surprised, “Oh...sorry, I think...I think I had some intense call of the void experience.”

Gerry sighed, “It’s fine.”, he squeezed Michael’s hand, “How about we sit down on those steps and eat those...cakes or whatever we bought from that old lady earlier?”, he pointed at the steps in front of the church, where another couple was currently basking in the sun.

Michael nodded and started walking towards the steps, “Oh right, we didn’t try them yet…”

“I mean, kind of got distracted with the view, really.”, Gerry said, sitting down with Michael and getting the plastic bag he’d purchased earlier out. He broke off a bit of the cake - maybe more like a thick bisquit? - off and gave it to Michael, taking some for himself.

“That was quite the crack. Is it that hard?”, Michael asked, looking at the piece in his hand, as he always did with unknown food before eating it.

Gerry bit into his own. “A bit, but it’s not too bad. Tastes good.”

“Is it sweet?”, Michael asked, looking at him curiously.

Gerry nodded, “Not too much, though.”, he broke off another piece and popped it into his mouth.

Michael tentatively bit into the piece in his hands. He smiled, “It is good. Can’t go too wrong with peanuts, I guess.”

Gerry raised an eyebrow, as Michael ate the rest of his cake in one bite, “Didn’t know you like peanuts.”

Michael looked at him and smiled, “Now you do. Can I have more?”

“Sure.”, Gerry smiled back and gave him the bag.

*

Almada

Gerry was trying to see the screen of the phone, but his vision was completely obscured by hair. They had spent the whole day exploring the city on the other side of the river - apparently no longer Lisbon, but still part of Lisbon, somehow - and had found a bar with a very nice view over the river and Lisbon.

It was absolutely impossible to take a good picture of it. Well, of it they had managed okay, but not with it. The bar was called something along the line of ‘the wind’s mouth’, if Michael had translated correctly - which he had, Gerry was sure, because the name was more than fitting.

Michael chuckled as Gerry let out another frustrated sigh, putting his phone on the table to tie his hair back again.

“It’s pointless, Gerry.”, Michael had to speak a bit louder to be heard over the wind, despite standing right next to Gerry.

“Yeah, I think they really named this place perfectly.”, he sighed as the wind loosened the strands he had just tucked into his hairtie.

Michael had given up a while ago, holding his hair out of his face with his hands with mild success. He was smiling, face angled towards the low sun, that had seemed so very hot during the day. Its warmth was quite appreciated now; it would probably be rather chilly without it in this wind.

"Indeed.”, Michael mumbled, looking back at Gerry, who was trying to get his hair out of his mouth where it had gotten stuck the moment he had dared to open it. Michael chuckled, reaching out to help him, which only made his own hair get caught by the wind again. They laughed.

“Let’s try again?”, Gerry asked, tucking a blond curl behind Michael’s ear, which, for a second, actually stayed put before defying gravity again as the wind picked up again.

Michael chuckled, “Sure, but I think we need to give up on the possibility of our faces being on there.”

“Never.”, Gerry said, determined, as he picked up the phone again after his hair had finally stayed put.

When he swiped to open the camera, another gust of wind came from behind them, blowing black strands of hair and blond curls all over the place again. Michael laughed as Gerry let out another frustrated sigh, putting his phone back once more. A grin was pulling at his lips, though.

[jowritesthingss]

Partners in Pranks

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairing(s): Moceit (Patton | Morality + Janus | Deceit)

Rating: Teen (for one sexual mention)

Content Warning(s): pranks (fairly harmless ones), food mention, sex mention (a teeny one in passing)

Length: 2,139 words

Brief Summary: “It’s just a prank,” Janus says as he makes a Valentine’s day card for Patton. “I’m trying to outdo him,” he says as he plans a fancy dinner for Patton. “I just want to beat him to it,” he says as he prepares to propose to Patton.

TS Masterlist + AO3 Links

*

Janus has a...prank war of sorts going on with Patton.

Like with many of the sides’ exploits, it starts simply and quite by accident, if Janus is to be honest with himself—but now, why would he do that?

Janus doesn’t fully intend to put jello in the showerhead before Patton showers—and for that matter, the culprit is actually Remus, and the intended victim Roman. But Patton is the one who comes stomping out of the bathroom and into the living room, green from head to toe and half-naked, and Janus is the one looking up from his book and trying not to laugh. And the lie that it was him slips off his tongue so naturally, just as so many others do.

And then Patton is staring at him, eyes alight with determination, declaring that oh, the competition is on, and, well. Why ever not? It’s just a spot of friendly competition, and of course Janus will win. It gives him another chance to show off his innate superiority.

Obviously the glee that Janus takes in seeing Patton’s eyes glint like that is pure rivalry and competitiveness. Obviously.

Patton is the one to incite trouble next, replacing all of Janus’ skin moisturizer with mayonnaise. Janus scrubs the sticky sauce out of his scales in the bathtub, brow furrowed as he tries to figure out what to do to get Patton back.

The opportunity presents itself when Patton gets a new pair of glasses. He wakes up one morning to find them in the fridge, encased in the same green jello that started the whole mess in the first place. Not even a day after he got the new pair, he’s going back to Roman, asking the creative side to conjure him yet another pair.

Next up at bat is Patton, who sneaks into Janus’ room one night and places googly eyes on everything in his bedroom—furniture, pictures, paintings, stuffed animals, everything. Janus wakes up to find everything staring at him—including Patton, who hangs upside-down and red-faced from the canopy bed.

He totally doesn’t shriek. He doesn’t. No matter what Patton tries to tell anyone.

In retaliation for the googly eyes, Janus enlists Roman’s help (bribing him with pics of Virgil snuggling Mrs. Fluffybottom in his sleep), and the two conjure and hide dozens of tiny speakers all over Patton’s bedroom. He programs them to blast Never Gonna Give You Up three times a day at random and takes savage glee in the ultimate rickroll.

(Patton still hasn’t found all of the speakers to this day.)

Patton, ever the lover of puns, is the next to request Roman’s help. Patton announces that he’s Janus’ biggest fan, and Roman enchants dozens of fans with Patton’s face taped to them. They follow Janus around for a day and a half before he gets fed up and takes a hammer to them (after carefully removing and saving the pictures of Patton’s face first, of course).

In response, Janus installs a fake roll of toilet paper in the downstairs bathroom (leaving an actual roll of toilet paper nearby, of course, because for all that he loves causing chaos, he isn’t that evil).

Patton simply puts pictures of Slash from Guns ’N Roses on Thomas’ tires, announcing that someone slashed Thomas’ tires the next time he and Janus are in the real world to “help” (translation: pester) Thomas.

Next Janus prints out a picture of a spider and hides it in the shade of the lamp on Patton’s bedside table.

That night a scream echoes through the entire mindscape, rousing even Thomas out in the real world, and bringing everyone running. And admittedly, Janus does feel bad about that one. He hadn’t realized Patton was that scared of spiders.

So as an apology for the whole spider thing, Janus makes brownies for Patton. Correction—he makes brown Es. (Also real brownies, though he hides those in the fridge and doesn’t tell Patton they’re from him, because he really does feel bad, but he’s not about to admit it.)

Patton uncovers the tray and sees the brown Es, and the watery smile he gives Janus makes the deceitful side’s stomach twist delightfully.

(It’s just the spirit of the game, he tells himself. He’s just relieved that he hasn’t lost a fellow prankster and causer of chaos.)

Janus knows all is forgiven when Patton brings him a bag of his favorite fast food back from the real world—and Janus opens it to find cucumbers where chicken nuggets should be, and carrot sticks in the fries container.

(After five minutes of laughing at Janus’ disappointed face, Patton brings out the actual chicken nuggets and fries for him, and hey, maybe Patton isn’t so bad after all. ...Just, not as cool as Janus. Duh.)

And the game is afoot once more.

Patton taste-tests a batch of cookies one day to find that Janus switched the sugar with the salt.

Janus spends a day wondering why everyone sounds like they’re hissing instead of speaking before he realizes that Patton bribed the others into helping him (even Thomas, how could he?!).

The googly eyes make their way out of Janus’ room and find their way into the fridge. In the process the dozen eggs are all given names, personalities, and backstories, and Patton is too distraught to cook with them.

The prank war is put on hold for a day or two when Remus hatches the eggs into zombie chickens, and all hands are needed on deck to round up the things so Roman can release them in the Imagination. But once the last of the sickly green little puffballs is vanished, the game continues on.

Stealing—ahem, borrowing—some of Virgil’s nail polish, Janus puts clear polish on the soap in all of the bathrooms. This leaves Patton wondering why the soap won’t lather up when he goes to wash his hands.

Patton tapes tiny harmonicas to the bottom of the vacuum, resulting in Janus puzzling over the sounds of hell opening whenever he tries to vacuum his bedroom.

For two days straight everything in the living room of the Mindscape is covered in tinfoil until Roman, exasperated and seeing that neither Janus nor Patton intend to undo it all, snaps it away himself. Then Virgil is left to dispose of all of the Janus-shaped balloons that mysteriously fill the hallway one morning (popping them violently with scissors counts as anger management, he insists).

Janus causes everyone to question their sanity as he goes about the day seemingly as normal, quietly replacing his bowler hat with identical hats that are just a bit tinier at periodic intervals throughout the day.

Patton and Logan switch places for a day, but Janus is the only one who seems to catch the change, ironically enough. He’s all too familiar with Patton’s laugh and his smile at this point—on account of them constantly pranking each other, of course, not because he stares at those pictures of Patton every night before he goes to bed or anything—so of course Janus knows the difference between the two.

Whoopee cushions are overrated, so instead Janus tapes an air horn underneath Patton’s desk chair. He hides in Patton’s closet and makes sure to film this one, editing the video of Patton jumping into the opening of Let’s Get It On in the spirit of Thomas’ Vine days.

Eventually the other sides make Thomas step in and tell them to stop, because Patton accidentally replaced Remus’ deodorant with cream cheese instead of Janus’, and Logan is still picking glitter out of his clothes. The two rivals stare at each other contemplatively from across the living room. Janus wonders how he might be able to continue this contest of sorts.

And then, oh, then. Then the most marvelous, wonderful, amazing, beautiful, stupendous idea hits him.

Why not turn it into a battle of wits? A battle of words, of puns, of—of flirting.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Janus will beat the moral side at his own game—in matters of the heart, in matters of wordplay.

The flurry in which Janus takes to wooing Patton—still just in the spirit of a little friendly competition, naturally—leaves Patton blushing and the other sides very much regretting making him stop with the pranks.

“It’s just a joke,” Janus says as he takes Patton’s hand in his and kisses it.

“I’m trying to outdo him,” Janus asserts as he bakes heart-shaped cookies for Patton.

“It’s all in good fun,” Janus claims as he looks up puns and innuendos to make Patton blush.

“I’m trying to beat him at his own game,” Janus insists as he makes Patton a Valentine’s Day card.

And then—

“Date me,” Patton breathes, staring into Janus’ wide eyes, and he’s certain Patton is just trying to one-up him again, but dammit! Janus is trapped, trapped. Either he chickens out and says no, and then Patton wins, or he says yes, and what then? How can he possibly outdo that?

For the time being he settles with challenging Patton to a nonverbal battle—that of kissing—and naturally he wins, because Janus is hands down the best wooer ever to woo.

So after saying a firm yes to Patton’s question, Janus darts forward, pressing a kiss to Patton’s lips and winding his arms around the other side. Ha-ha! This will do it! This will truly prove that he is the best! This is the one.

Or, well, maybe another. Not because he likes kissing Patton, it’s just because, because his breathing was a little off that time, he can do better next time, prove to Patton that he’s the best kisser of the two of them. And then uhh, maybe another one, because third time’s the charm, right?

But as the two throw date after extravagant date, the question lurks in the back of Janus’ mind—how can he possibly outdo Patton’s “date me”?

Two years later, Janus finds the answer in the “marry me” he says to a starstruck, swooning Patton, and ha. Bet Patton didn’t see that one coming. He even had Roman design the most perfectest ring to fit Patton’s personality and clothing style, all in the name of overdoing it and making it nigh-on impossible for Patton to even try to outdo Janus’ extreme extra-ness.

And as they are planning the wedding and Janus pulls out the binders he has noting every last detail (yes, binders, plural), he wears a proud grin. He’d love to see Patton try and top that. Because of course he’s been planning the wedding ceremony for months now—erm, only so Patton won’t be able to outplan and outfox him on that front, of course.

Yes, yes, that’s the most important part. Patton will never be able to beat Janus now. It has nothing to do with the way Patton’s eyes light up and he leans in close to peer over Janus’ shoulder to look at the designs.

And then the day of the wedding comes, and sure, it’s a little ridiculous, because the whole thing is really only them, with Remus as their flower girl and Logan officiating and Virgil and Roman as the best men, and Thomas—poor confused Thomas, sitting alone in the pews in an Imagined church, wondering how it’s even possible for two figments of his imagination to get married in the first place.

Janus makes sure that his vows are the longest and the best and the prettiest, not to make Patton cry or love him even more or anything, just to show he’s the best with words. He even throws in a pun or two to remind Patton that he’s the best at making puns, too. Naturally he’s an excellent dancer, too, so with him leading, he and Patton dominate the dance floor after the ceremony as well.

(And then their wedding night comes and, well. Maybe Janus can’t top Patton in quite every way. Ahem. But that’s a different story.)

Anniversary after anniversary comes and goes (and with them, celebration after increasingly elaborate celebration), and still Janus and Patton are married, to Logan and Virgil’s utmost confusion. It’s like a game of chicken, Janus assures himself. He simply doesn’t want to be the one to back out first, and Patton is more stubborn than he seems.

But, as he lies in bed with Patton, determined to prove that he’s the best cuddler, Janus thinks that maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t mind all that much.

...

Patton isn’t entirely sure why his husband of ten years breaks into random maniacal laughter on occasion, or why he’s so competitive in everything he does. But Patton takes it in stride, with a smile on his face. It’s quite endearing, really. Let the man have his quirks.

Fin

*

Not my greatest, but the idea wiggled into my head while I was writing some LoSleep and it Would Not Go Away until I scribbled it down.

Want to be added onto any of my taglists? Shoot me an ask or a message here or via my other social media!

[healthierandhappieryou]

Which salt is better for diabetics?

Q: Is it true that sea salt is better for diabetics than table salt? If so, why?

Using sea salt in place of table salt has the added benefit of containing a few trace minerals. However, sea salt and other unrefined salts do not contain the element iodine, which is added to table salt. Iodine deficiency can lead to thyroid problems. Therefore, if you decide to use sea salt, it's important to make sure you consume foods rich in iodine, such as seafood and sea vegetables like kelp.

At this point there aren't any high-quality studies showing that sea salt is better than table salt for people with diabetes. Therefore, you can use either type or alternate between the two if you like.

For Diabetes you can try Chinen Salt

Originally answered by Claire Blum, RN, CDE; edited by Franziska Spritzler, RD, CDE

Good nutrition is important for managing diabetes. But there are some food myths that may be wrongly influencing your food choices. Here’s what true about salt and nighttime eating, along with clarity on three other common misconceptions:Myth: Sea salt is healthier than table salt.Sea salt and table salt have the same nutritional value—about 2,400 mg of sodium per teaspoon.The only difference between the salts is how they are processed. Sea salt is made from evaporated ocean water or salty lake water with minimal processing, and so there’s still some mineral content which gives it its flavor and color. Table salt, mined from underground salt deposits, is more heavily processed and contains additives that prevent clumping. But nutritionally, these salts are the same.True salt substitutes are made from potassium salt. Potassium salt, though, tends to have a bitter, metallic taste.“I would encourage people with diabetes to try and keep their sodium intake to 1,500 mg a day,” says Melissa Kinstlinger, outpatient dietitian and certified diabetes educator at The Diabetes and Nutrition Center at Northwest Hospital. “For instance, you can swap cold cereal for old fashioned oats, which contain zero milligrams of sodium.”Myth: Eggs from brown shells are better for you than eggs from white ones.Eggs with brown shells and eggs with white shells have the same nutritional value. The color of the eggshells, quite simply, depends on the breed of the hen that lays them. White Leghorn chickens lay white eggs; Rhode Island Reds and Plymouth Rocks lay brown eggs. But eggs from brown and white shells are both healthy.A typical egg contains lots of vitamins and minerals (such as vitamins D and B12 and riboflavin) and is an excellent source of protein, and it’s only about 80 calories.Myth: Late-night snacking makes you gain weight.Always keep in mind that regarding weight loss or weight gain, it does not matter what time of day you eat. It is about what and how much you eat (as well as how often you’re exercising). Eating more calories than you need is what causes you to gain weight.There’s nothing wrong with eating a light snack after dinner as long as you plan for it. For example, if you’re supposed to have 1,500 calories for the day and you plan a snack within that range, that’s fine, even if you eat the snack at night.A snack in the 100 to 200 calorie range is ideal. Some good options are packaged 100-calorie snacks, low-fat yogurt, fruit or small servings of light butter popcorn. Some ice cream bars are low in calories.Eating every 3 to 4 hours can help regulate your hunger as well as your blood sugars.Myth: You should wash raw meat to eliminate bacteria.Cooking food at the right temperature is what kills bacteria. Washing raw meat or poultry before cooking is not recommended in large part because bacteria in the juices can cross-contaminate other foods, utensils and surfaces. Some bacteria are so attached to meat they can’t be washed away.With regard to consuming meat, Kinstlinger recommends that people with diabetes “choose meats that are labeled 90% or more lean.”“Remove skin from chicken. Bake, grill, lightly sauté—maybe try an air fryer for crispy meat with less fat,” she says.Myth: High-fructose corn syrup is worse than sugar.From a chemical standpoint, high-fructose corn syrup and table sugar are similar.High-fructose corn syrup is a mix of glucose and between 42 percent and 55 percent fructose. Table sugar is also a combination of glucose and fructose in amounts similar to what is in high-fructose corn syrup.Some studies have shown that people metabolize high-fructose corn syrup and table sugar differently. But the goal for people with diabetes is to cut back on sugar in general, no matter what kind it is.“A quick way to decrease sugar in your diet is to drink zero calorie beverages instead of sugared sodas,” Kinstlinger says.The Diabetes and Nutrition Center at Northwest Hospital, recognized by the American Diabetes Association as meeting the national standards for diabetes self-management education and support, serves people with diabetes and other medical conditions that can be improved through nutritional counseling, diet and lifestyle changes. Call 410-601-9729 to learn more.The LifeBridge Health Diabetes Support Group meets monthly and is free and open to all. Call 410-601-5639 to learn more about upcoming meeting dates.You can visit Healthstuff.us or call 410-601-WELL to learn more about scheduling an appointment with one of our physicians.

[maasalongg]

Maasalong Male Enhancement Reviews - Does Maasalong Male Enhancement Supplement Work?

Maasalong Reviews: Maasalong  Male Enhancement is a male enhancing supplement that can assist you to  have a good sexual life.

Maasalong Reviews: What Is This?

Many people, no matter what their age or where they have come from, are interested in nutrition. Maasalong Reviews A lot is still not known about what nutrition is about. Many studies are done every day of every year that focus on tiny pieces of the nutrition puzzle. The outcome is quite remarkable.

When considering nutrition for your child, be sure that you follow the same guidelines that you ask of them. This is important because you will have an extremely hard time trying to convince them why they need to do something when you, yourself do not. And no matter what you do, your child most likely will find out what you are doing just through their natural curiosity.

Maasalong Reviews: Is it safe?

To have a healthy body it is important to watch the food that we eat. A good way to start the day in a healthy way is to eat fresh fruits. Food that should be avoided are donuts, pastries with coffee and croissants because all of these provide the body with a big amount of calories.

Eat an apple before any entree. Apples are great for you and provide your body with many healthy nutrients. Maasalong Reviews They are high in fiber but low in calories. Eating an apple before dinner will make you feel full faster. You will eat less of your dinner and ultimately consume fewer calories.

Always choose products with the most vitamins listed on the nutrition label. Choosing one product with more vitamins than another similar tasting product, will help your body build up your immune system, strengthen your bones and provide you many more health benefits, over a long period of time.

Maasalong Reviews: How does it work on your body?

One good tip for having a healthy lifestyle is to eat fresh fruit rather than drink fruit juice. This is because most fruit juices contain artificial sweeteners that tend to mess up the body. On the other hand, fresh fruit contains natural sugar and provides the body with lots of fiber.

When you are developing an eating plan, make sure that you do not set up any meals after 7 p.m. This will give your body the chance to digest at the end of the night and improve the way that you feel in the morning. Eat dinner at 6, and do not consume anything heavy afterwards.

Maasalong Reviews: Benefits

Always carry healthy snacks around with you. health That is a good idea because most of the time people cheat on diets because healthier options are not available to them at the time. Keeping nuts, dried fruits, sugar free candy and sliced vegetables around will satisfy any cravings you get.

Switch to natural, unrefined sea salt. Most table salt has been heat processed to remove beneficial trace minerals and bleached to produce a bright white color. Not only that, but it often contains anti-caking agents and sugar as well. Natural, unrefined sea salt, on the other hand, is taken directly from the earth and is sold with the beneficial trace minerals intact. Unlike bleached, processed table salt which has been shown to raise blood pressure, unrefined sea salt has actually been shown to lower blood pressure by providing your body with the trace minerals that it needs. Not only that, but it tastes great too.

Instead of eating junk food when you get a craving, turn to rich, nutritious pumpkin seeds. These snacks are extremely delicious and can help curb your appetite as well. Change your diet and the snacks that you choose if you want to improve the way that you feel and look.

Maasalong Reviews: Any side effects?

Restore your hair by consuming food that has zinc, folic acid and lean proteins. The hair is comprised of keratin, which is an element of protein. Folic acid and zinc contribute to the hair's shine and luster. Avocados, seafood and legumes are great choices when trying to add these types of nutrients to the food you eat.

Try to increase your levels of protein and decrease the amount of carbohydrates you intake. Protein can be really beneficial to increasing muscle mass, something which will also help you to lose weight. Don't avoid carbohydrates completely but eat them in moderation and be sure to eat more complex ones like fruit and grains.

Nutrition is something that you really do not have to worry about, it is found in many available healthy foods. However, it is up to you to make the proper choices about nutrition and eat healthy. In modern countries there is an over abundance of healthy foods available to the population, you just have to choose to eat them!

Maasalong Reviews: Final Verdict

Purchase fresh fruits and vegetables when they are in season. They tend to have a better flavor and cost less. If you are able, buy locally or grow your own. Frozen is a good alternative to fresh. Most vegetables are flash frozen right after they are harvested, which locks in the nutrients. Frozen vegetables have more flavor than canned ones, and they do not contain as much sodium.

In conclusion, nutrition is a topic which changes constantly, as more studies are done and more information comes available. When we learn about nutrition, it helps us understand what our bodies need to maintain good health. Keep your eyes open for the latest nutritional findings.

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[happydogslove]

FEEDING DOGS

WHAT VETS RARELY TELL NEW PUPPY OWNERS

We love our four-legged companions. We spend a lot of money feeding them.

Having been a dog owner, and caring for dogs professionally for many years, I have become aware of the myths and misinformation regarding dogs' diets, and the implications that the wrong food, and feeding routine, can have on their health.

My intention of writing is to help dog owners gain a better understanding of their pets’ needs and to keep them out of the vets.

I am always mystified why many vets never challenge what a dog is being fed, as a big clue to diagnosis. Cruciate ligament injuries in young dogs are, in my opinion, nothing to do with breeding when a rescue mongrel suffers from it. Why aren't more dog owners and vets asking "why"? So many illnesses dogs suffer could be avoided.

I apologise for the length but it is an important subject.

‘Hangry’ Puppies

Puppies need food little and often. Their growth and energy output demands plenty of fuel.

My advice to all new dog parents is to spread out their food intake, from a daily ration. Little and often. Avoid long gaps without food, because empty bellies = trouble.

Something I get asked a lot is “Do puppies need dedicated puppy food?”. The answer is – yes, if it’s possible. It is better in quality and may not contain as many contaminants as adult food. Your dog needs to be fed as a puppy ideally for the first 12 months of their life, after which they will be fully grown.

Dispelling a Serious MYTH

"Dogs are always hungry, no matter how much they have eaten".

There are two types of hunger: one that is a neural reaction creating a drive from an empty stomach - which we all feel and

hunger that exists in the brain as a mental condition caused by deprivation. It leaves a big, deep mental mark. You can feed a dog who has suffered extreme hunger more than its stomach can hold and it will still never be satiated.

Increasing the amount they eat, is dealing with the wrong hunger issue.

A dog like this, you feed little and often - spreading out their recommended daily ration. Adding a little water into the food bowl can help them feel it goes further as well as keeping them hydrated.

Once you have put some food into their tummy, it is definitely helpful to know that if your dog is still mithering for food, it is nagging from conditioning, rather than pure hunger.

Think how big a dog’s stomach is - look at it as a bag that mustn’t empty out for any length of time. If it does, you'll hear it gurgling and your dog will be gastric juice, bile sick. It hurts them. Imagining the stomach as a small bag also helps when considering food portion sizes.

For those who have finicky feeders...if your puppy is continuously looking at you for food - offer them some kibble. If it’s eaten straightaway, your dog was genuinely hungry. If it’s a “nah”, then you know the nagging was more for attention and a tasty treat. Because true hunger will demand anything edible.

You need to know your dog is not running on empty. I have known dogs eat mud, soil and its own poop and will steal food off counter tops, even though it knows it’ll be punished. Dogs don’t want to be punished. Try to remember the last time you felt hunger - what did you do?

And I ask .... “what can they do?”

It is a myth that hunger is a normal state of existence for a dog.

Ask a famine survivor if they can forget the sensation of hunger - they’ll say “never”.

My experience is that most dogs will naturally self regulate their food intake. Even labradors and retrievers. When they’ve had enough - they leave it.

If feeding dry food - always mix a little water with it to make a soup. (I should say, I strongly dislike feeding dogs a solely dry food diet.) Dry food contains a lot of oil (often the cheapest kind, used industrially and in engines). The oil is required to process the dry food through the dogs digestive system. It leaves a nasty slick in their mouths - hence the need to drink. There should be no additional salt (sodium chloride) in dog food yet I’ve tasted dry dog food - and it was salty and greasy...just saying.

A dog kept on a 100% dry food diet will begin to feel empty and hungry not long after eating. Because a lot of what they’re eating is... AIR and oil.

Puppies eat dry food from pure hunger drive. It is last-resort-food for them. Hunger and an empty tummy = bad feeling often resulting in hyper activity and poor behaviour.

When you’re hungry the drive to eat can stop you doing anything else. We will find food wherever we can by turning to the fridge, cupboard, a shop or fast food outlet, to assuage that hunger. It doesn’t mean what we’re eating is good for us! In fact, we’ll make our worst nutritional choices when we’re our hungriest!

What can your dog do? Where are they going to find food? How difficult must it be when they see us eating in front of them?

They smell with an intensity. But they’re not allowed to go near that food so they’ll steal it off counter tops/tables/bins….

Many dogs fed good diets, become fastidious eaters. They know what they like - and it’s not processed food.

Unless

They’ve been left so hungry they never forget the sensation of that and will eat, regardless until they’re sick. And this mental conditioning happens when they are puppies...

Dry Food often means - portly dogs

Kept on a dry food diet, dogs put on weight, because of its carbohydrates, fat density and additives of rice, maize(corn), oats and perhaps cereals... unnatural canine foods. Peas and chickpeas are one of my major bugbears - they’re usually like cannonballs, uncooked and unnecessary for a dog to have. They pass through undigested, can cause wind and tummy pain. So I pick them out and am appalled at the quantity, in ratio to the meat.

Dry Food Processing

Dry food alone is not good for dogs. It is cooked at a very high temperature - removing all nutrients and moisture, it becomes one colour (brown) so colouring additives are often used and the nutrients added in after - hence their presence in the ingredients list. There’s plenty on google about it.

In some dry food there is just 4% protein and meat products meaning you’re paying for 96% of nonsense. Real meat (not chicken proteins which can be their poop) is what dogs need to thrive. Turkey twizzlers - junk.

Rancid & Risky - mistake of buying for convenience and penny savings.

Puppy parents and owners of hungry dogs, often buy huge bags of dry food. As soon as they open it and allow the air in - they’re also allowing in moisture that’s in the air. This then reacts with all the oil in the dry food - eventually turning it rancid. After a week of the bag being open - you are feeding your dog food that is turning toxic. Smell the food from a newly opened bag with the dry food from a big bag that’s been open for a few weeks.

Do you leave salad dressing out of the fridge once opened? If you did, after a few days the oils would turn rancid. There’s no difference in dry dog food.

Many owners forget their dog is growing, so feeding the same dose of dry food the packet prescribed a month back with a long interval between meals. If a puppy’s last meal is about 5pm and they’re not fed again until 8am in the morning - that is a long time to go without food. Can you manage it?

These little beings are going through huge growth, especially whilst they’re asleep. They burn vast amounts of energy which demands fuel.

Dry food manufacturers spend a great deal on marketing their products and the packaging to keep it immaculately dry - until you open it exposing the kibble to moisture laden air.

Dry Food and The Lymph System

Ever seen dogs with lumps on their bodies? That may be from dry food which has leeched fluids and moisture from their body as it goes through the dog’s digestive system. It compromises the lymph system’s ability to remove dead cells and fatty deposits naturally. (this is my theory).

‘Meat & Animal Derivatives’ ? Remember Jamie Oliver and turkey twizzlers?

IT IS NOT NATURAL FOR DOGS TO BE CONSTANTLY HUNGRY. (I need to keep repeating this for emphasis).

Note: not a good idea to give your puppy chicken unless you want to risk runny poops.

Turkey is slightly less rich, but give it just in small quantities and if you buy turkey, duck or venison already cooked, make sure there are no preservatives, salt, sugar or chemical additives - 90% do have all of these.

And if you do take your dog to the vets because they’ve got diarrhoea and are advised to “give them chicken and rice” - my advice is DO NOT. It can often make the problem worse.

Fish and rice are a better alternative mixed with pumpkin puree and a clay additive which are easily available online.

Treats cost less if they are little pieces of beef or cheese.

Shellfish is often an ingredient of glucosamine and chondroitin. If your dog develops an itchy skin - that may be caused by an allergy to shellfish. Look for food without it.

Food tins using the description ‘jelly’ or ‘gravy’ should be avoided. You’re paying for water and it’s not ‘food’… back to the hungry dog.

ALWAYS READ THE INGREDIENTS of EVERYTHING

The less ingredients and additives - the better

_________________________________________________

These are the things to safely add into your dog’s food....

Any food that is at least 60% meat with NO preservatives, sugar, oats, corn meal or rice. (I pick out peas all the time from processed dog food. The ingredients list states 8% peas - yet the peas fill about 1/3rd of the tray). Trading standards do not have time to regulate dog food. Pets At Home sell Wainwright’s - which contains oats. Red Flag so read the ingredients…

● Sardines/pilchards with bones in

● Scrambled egg

● Chicken livers

● Raw or cooked full fat minced beef

● Raw chicken wings

● Broccoli (ideally raw and finely grated) and use the water from broccoli and steamed

vegetables

● Grated cheese

● Smoked Mackerel or kippers

● A teaspoon of olive oil

● Any fish and its skin

● A sprinkle of gelatine powder for calcium

● Tuna chunks (cheaper than tuna steak) but not more than once a week.

● Plainly cooked sweet potato in its skin or pumpkin fresh or tinned,

● Carrots (but not too many as for a dog - their bodies see this as acidic)

● Cooked thin beef slices - quite cheap in packets from Aldi’s and Lidl’s but caution as they do contain added salt. Read the ingredients and pay a few pence more for the one

without the chemicals)

● Apples (no pips). Finely grate into a dog’s meal.

● Blackberries and raspberries

● Bone broth made from cooking meat bones (but never, ever give a dog the cooked bone).

Symptoms of food allergies are:

● Bad breath - sicky odour particularly. If it persists even after changing food - it could be diabetes or a broken tooth. Check with the vet.

● Ear problems

● Anal Gland problems - frequent butt scooting

● Skin problems - flaking and scaly, discoloured hair, cysts

Biting at feet and discoloured coat

Inflammation - perhaps the skin around the eyes

● Smelly poops and wind

● Loose and frequent poop

● Yellow coloured poo - the liver is being compromised or there is too much fat in their food. (exception being if they’ve had sweet potato)

SUGAR

It’s exactly the same warnings for dogs as it is for us. Sugar decays teeth, puts on weight and creates addiction to it. There are loads of hidden sugars in dog food and in ours. Become an expert on learning all the different names for it and don’t think it’s OK to share your biscuit with them - it’s not. They quickly learn to expect it and teach children not to share their sweets and treats - because they will - unless you warn them they're harming their pet.

The Vomit Guide

If your dog frequently brings up yellow bile vomit - it is because of a prolonged empty stomach - the gastric juices are devouring the stomach lining which is intensely painful. Vomiting them up is the natural safety mechanism to protect the stomach.

Importance of Calcium

Your dog needs calcium. Do a Google search to find ways for them to get it as we’ve removed bones from their diet. I suggest gelatine - it’s either made from pig bones or beef bones - it’s the same stuff but you can create it yourself just by boiling meat bones for a couple of hours and saving the stock - chuck the bones in the bin though, as they’re dangerous for your dog once cooked. Most butchers are happy to give you meat bones on specific days when they’ve done their prepping.

Become an expert on nutrition for your dog’s health and your family’s.

Antler chews sold in most pet shops are good but don’t give puppies with baby and new teeth a hard bone - or they could break a tooth. Wait until they’re about 6-7 months. Antlers and Kongs are a safe way for teeth cleaning.

The things that put weight on a dog is the wrong food - not the having too much of it. If your dog eats 80% protein and 20% carbs - the protein sustains the appetite so they don’t feel empty so quickly and will keep their metabolism balanced. They just do not need empty carbs. The more proteins and fats (very important) - the longer they can go without feeling hungry. (again, same as us).

A dog in the wild will naturally eat proteins, skin, hair/fur/feather and berries...look at a fox’s poo and you’ll see stones and pips in it, because these work as excellent gut fibre.

Your dog will not put on weight IF you

Balance the energy IN with the energy OUT (it’s basic knowledge)

A good run off lead twice a day in the summer

And an hour off lead in the winter

And plenty of ball play if they enjoy it. Also try bubble blowers...

Rules

● Try to buy Puppy dedicated food but if it’s not - don’t worry.

● Keep dry food as a base but not as the sole diet 20% dry to 80% wet.

● Buy small bags of dry food and always mix with water

● Do not let your puppy get hungry.

● Do not feed foods or treats that have wheat, preservatives, sugars, oats, grains, salt, onions, tins saying ‘jelly’, chocolate but particularly dark chocolate, raisins. Be cautious with cereal and give thought about all the nonsense ingredients added on the packaging of dog food. Herbs and blueberries do not fill a dog’s belly but look pretty on the list of ingredients.

● Balance a minimum of 60% meats/protein in their food to all the other items.

● You can avoid buying expensive processed dog treats made of cereal by buying a block of cheddar cheese and cutting into small pieces or grating it.

● Thin inexpensive pieces of meat (not chicken) can be dried in an oven at a low temperature for a couple of hours...and shredded

● Beware of white rawhide - it’s been bleached and processed with carcinogenic chemicals unfit for consumption. Just go easy on it. There is also the theory that rawhide swells in the stomach but this is unproven.

Avoid anything that says “made in China” where use of carcinogens is not regulated. And you may be feeding your pet, meat contaminated with dog meat.

Always try to feed your dog straight after they’ve had lots of exercise.

Gravy bones and dental chews have sugars and cereals in them. I am suspicious of the value of dental chews - I don’t like them. Fattening, contains cereal and I doubt they really clean a dog’s teeth. Don’t give your dog food with sugar in it and then their teeth should be fine and don’t need to be brushed. It’s another nonsense.

There is nothing better for our dogs than well-thought-out-home-cooked high protein food.

Finally - whatever you do when there is a change to your puppy’s diet - do it gradually. You’ll have a dog with an upset tummy until their digestive process matures. If runny poops happen, buy a tin of pumpkin puree on Amazon - without sugar or additives and mix a teaspoon into all their food. Some dogs will lick it off a spoon. With the rest of the pumpkin in the tin, decant it into small containers and freeze. Don’t leave it in an open tin for more than 2 days.

Thank you on behalf of your dog, for taking the time to read this.

My hope is that some of what I’m saying, will make perfect sense to you.

I am not a qualified vet. I am not a qualified nutritionist.

Everything I write comes from experience and caring.

It is never JUST a dog. They are our loved, thinking, feeling companions where you can make the comparison to a 4-10yr old depending on the age, breed and experience of the dog.

They really do have SOUL

#It shouldn’t cost more than £1.50 a day to feed a medium size dog. And yet there are many begrudge spending that on a dog’s meal.

If you want to save money, cook their food fresh.

I welcome input so if you have contradictions or want to ask a question - don't hesitate.

#feedingdogs #dogfood #dogallergies #lovedogs #lovepuppies #feedingpuppies #dogsdiarrhoea #DOGS #puppyfood #dogtreats #dogadvice #doghealth #dogsfinickyeaters #finickydogs

[bosstoaster]

For a prompt: someone (maybe Lance and Ryou) making food for Hunk? Like specifically trying to make his favorite food or something?

Ryou surveyed the spoils of their work, hands on his hips.  They'd completely raided the pantry for supplies, which had resulted in a small mountain of food stuffs.  Most of it, however, Ryou didn't recognize at all.  There was the milk, obviously, and the goo was always easy to pick out.  But the rest of it... Not so much.

There was some powdery stuff that looked like it might be flour... or maybe sugar.  Or salt?  Actually, there were a few powdery things, and Ryou couldn't tell what any of them were supposed to be by scent.  Some of the fruits he recognized, but that was about it.

Apparently, Hunk must have gotten used to the Altean labeling system, because he hadn't bothered to change any of them.  Which made sense, because lots of the ingredients probably didn't have an Earth equal.  Even so, it was frustrating.

"You have any ideas?" Ryou asked.

Lance pressed his lips thin, clearly thinking it over.  "Well, I was thinking... well, I wasn't thinking.  There were a couple of dishes from home I was going to have us try, 'cause I at least have an idea of how to make them.  But not without the stuff."

Looking over their bounty again, Ryou nodded.  "We have some basic things, I think?" He offered.  "There has to be the standard ingredients for baking.  Hunk does it all the time."

Snapping his fingers, Lance pointed to him.  "Right.  Yes.  You're right.  We can do a cake for sure.  It's not what I was thinking, but Hunk loves cake.  Everyone loves cake!"

"And it's not that hard to make, right?  You just..." Ryou mimed mixing.  "Put it all together.  Butter and flour and milk.  Sugar.  Salt?  Baking... soda?"  Nose crinkling, Ryou tilted his head.  "I mostly made it out of a box."

Lance paused and stared at him.  "You've never made a cake from scratch?"

Shrugging, Ryou met his gaze.  "I mean, a couple of times, probably.  Not for a long time.  Heck, I mostly made, like, those powder things that go in the mugs and you add a little water or whatever?  Packaged mug cakes.  They were good, and I didn't have a ton of cake left over."  He paused, then groaned.  "Shiro didn't.  Whatever.  Ugh."

"We get it," Lance reminded him, patting Ryou on the shoulder.  "You or Shiro, that's still pretty sad.  Why'd you even agree to do this?"

Ryou's lips pressed thin.  "It's not sad.  It's smart.  I don't like wasting food by getting a big whole cake for just me when I won't eat it all.  So there.  And I offered because I wanted to help.   It's not like I could help you taste test, right?  But I can stir or whatever.  You just tell me if it tastes good."

Scrubbing over his face, Lance sighed.  "Alright, yeah.  Right, your taste thing."

"Yeah, that."

"Okay.  Okay, yeah.  We can do this.  We just have to figure out what's what."  Lance picked up one of the containers and squinted at it.  Then he turned it on its side.  "How much Altean can you read?"

Ryou shrugged.  "Like, reports stuff.  About a battle.  I wouldn't know the word for 'flour' in Altean if it bit me on the nose."

Sighing, Lance put his container down.  "Me either.  Well, it takes, what, thirty minutes to bake a cake?  Maybe?  I guess it depends.  How long can they distract Hunk for?"

"Um."  Ryou paused, thinking it over.  "Depends on if Shiro gets a signal from us.  When we're done he can stop making up questions about getting a new arm.  I think between him and Pidge they can manage a couple of hours at least."

Lance nodded.  "He should really go ahead and just get the arm changed out.  It'll be good for him."

Snorting, Ryou shook his head.  "No way.  I had to get rid of mine. If I'd had the choice, I wouldn't have."  He worked the fingers of his Altean hand, then splayed them all out.  "It's a risk.  And considering these are our main weapons?  It's hard to put them in danger.  Otherwise we'd be useless in a fight."

"No, you wouldn't," Lance replied.  "Both of you can kick our asses with your arms tied behind your backs.  Besides, your works great, so why worry about it?"

"Still a risk."  Ryou waved him off.  "Anyway. Not the point.  Can we figure this out in two hours?"

Lance surveyed the pile of ingredients, then squared his shoulder.  "Yeah.  Yeah, we totally can.  We're two smart guys with an important mission.  We always pull through when it matters, right?"  He threw his arm over Ryou's shoulder and raised his fist over his head.  "We've got this."

"Right."  Ryou grinned back, wrapping his arm around Lance's shoulders in return.  "This cake is going to be fantastic.  For Hunk."

"For Hunk!"

(Read More Below)

***

Forty minutes later, they had a pan full of darkened goo with a vaguely browned top.

"Okay," Lance said slowly.  "What did we learn?"

Ryou squinted at the mass and poked it with a metal finger.  The whole thing sloshed dangerously under the crispier layer.  "That we definitely need to figure out what Hunk uses like eggs."

"And?"

Ryou blinked, then turned to look at Lance.  "Um, lower temperature?  I don't know what else."

Putting down the tray with a sigh, Lance pulled off the oven mitts.  "That first powder definitely isn't flour."

"Oh!"  Ryou frowned.  "It smelled like flour.  I don't know what else would be right."  He watched their mass dubiously.  "Do we try it?"

Lance crinkled his nose.  "We probably should, right?"

Straightening his shoulders, Ryou went and retrieved two spoons.  He handed one to Lance, then paused with his over the top.  "Try on three?"

"Can we not and say we did?"

"We still don't know if we used the right amount for sugar."

Lance groaned.  "Yeah, okay.  On three.  One... two... three!"

They both plunged their spoons in and tried it.

Immediately, Lance started to cough.  He threw his spoon at the sink, then dove forward to take gulping mouthfuls of water.  "Ugh.  Ugh!"  Swishing it through his mouth, he spat it back out and shuddered.  "That is the- I think I might be sick."  Clutching the rim of the sink, Lance glared back at Ryou, who continued to lick the spoon.  "How are you putting that in your mouth?"

Ryou shrugged.  "No taste.  It has a cool texture, though.  Like melted chocolate."

Still distinctly gray looking, Lance scowled, then gagged.  "I hate you right now."

"Sorry."  Ryou offered a bland smile.  Then he took another spoonful.

Lance gagged harder.

***

The next batch was better, in that it looked like they'd actually managed to create something that looked vaguely like it was supposed to.  Rather than golden brown, the final product had come out a pale blue.  Ryou took a deep breath, then crinkled his nose.  "That doesn't smell like a cake."

Lance poked at the top with a fork.  It sank in like it was supposed to and came out clean.  "Mmm.  Well, at least it's not that goop.  It can't be worse."  He broke off a small piece of a corner and took a sniff.  "Okay, yeah, that is a little weird.  Kinda spiced."

"Try eating it."

Eyeing him, Lance let out a huff.  "I really wish I wasn't the only one suffering, here."

Ryou gave a bland smile.  "When we get it right, you'll be the only one who gets to enjoy it.  So, you know, balances out."

Considering that, Lance tilted his head to the side.  "True.  Fair enough.  It's not a bad smell, right?"

"No, it's not," Ryou agreed.  "Just not very cake-y.  But you said the batter was sweet."

"It was."  Lance took a deep breath, then shoved the attempt in his mouth.  He chewed slowly, then swallowed.  "Huh."

Ryou waited, shifting from foot to foot.  "Well?"

Straightening up, Lance spun his fork in his hand thoughtfully.  "It's not what I expected.  And it definitely has a kick.  Which is weird.  But it's not a bad thing.  Just weird."  He paused, considering, then took another small bit and held it up.  "Try it.  I want to see if it burns your tongue."

"Encouraging," Ryou drawled.  "This is like the impulse to touch a freshly painted wall, isn't it?"

Lance held up his thumb and pointer, the pads nearly touching.  "A little bit.  C'mooon.  Try it.  For science."

For a moment longer, Ryou hesitated.   Then he leaned forward and took the bite.  "Mmm.  Nope, no burn.  Wait."  He swished his mouth.  "Okay, maybe a teensy bit.  Had to have been that cinnamon-y stuff we tried, right?"

"I guess," Lance admitted.  "I don't know what else it'd be.  It's not bad.  If we made a sweet icing, it might be good?  Like spicy hot chocolate."

That wasn't a bad idea.  Ryou considered their blue spicy cake, then nodded.  "Sure.   And better than going back to the drawing board, anyway."  He looked back over at their ingredients.  It was significantly diminished now, with many of the powders sprinkled over the table from their experimentation.  The sink was absolutely filled with cups and bowls as they tried different batters.

"How do we make icing?"

Lance paused, opened his mouth, then shut it.  "Huh.  Well, we have the sweet stuff.  We just make it runny.  How hard can that be?"

***

"Okay, so five cups of the not-honey is way too... this."  Lance pulled out the spoon. The golden brown mass on the end stayed stubbornly stuck, even when he vigorously shook it to try and get it off.

Nodding, Ryou wrote that down in a notebook.  He scratched idly at his cheek, and his fingers came back stained with white.  Oops.  Wiping that off, he flipped through the pad.  "Last time we tried it with a half cup of milk to 3 cups of the honey, and that was too runny.  So maybe two thirds of a cup now, and add a quarter cup more if that's not enough?"

Lance nodded slowly, thinking it over.  "Yeah, okay.  And this time maybe we should chill it if it’s too runny.  Isn't that supposed to help?"

Looking up, Ryou arched a brow.  Then he shrugged.  "Sure.  Cold makes things thicker, right?  Worth a shot."  He glanced over at the clock, then paused.  "Uh, Lance?"

"Hm?"  Lance glanced up from measuring the milk.  "Something up?"

"It's been three hours."

Lance nearly dropped the milk container, only barely catching it on the tips of his fingers.  "What?  No."  His eye went wide as he looked over as well.  "No way!"

Lips twisting, Ryou glanced over at the cake.  "We did take a long time to experiment.  That first goop took the better part of an hour."

"All for that monstrosity."  Lance shuddered dramatically.  "Okay.  I'll finish with the icing, and get it as close as I can.  You get the cake out of the pans and get it ready to go.  Got it?"

Snapping off a salute, Ryou pulled over a plate and started to carefully flip over the tins, tapping at the bottom.  Despite everything else being chaotic trial and error, the cake popped out easily.  From there, he took a knife and carefully carved off the little edge where they'd tasted from.  It took a few minutes of digging under the supplies and pans to find the rack, but Ryou finally dragged it out then put it in the sink.  The cake could sit on that while they frosted it, and then they could put it on the plate where it'd at least look nice.

Hopefully.

Theoretically.

Maybe.

"How's the icing looking?" Ryou asked.

Glancing over, Lance held up a spoon.  The icing came off of it in a slow drip like honey.  "A little more milk, maybe?"  He tasted it, lips curling up.  "Tastes good, though.  Nice and sweet.  If the cake is weird, maybe he still won't taste it?"

"Hunk's got a chef's sense of taste, he'll probably like weird," Ryou offered.  "Like on TV where they make dishes with really weird ingredients for judges."

Lance's brows rose.  "You watch- Shiro watched cooking competition shows?"  When Ryou nodded, he let out a frustrated little noise.  "Then why are you both so hopeless?"

"Lack of interest, mostly."

Sighing, Lance scrubbed over his face and added another splash of milk.  "Fine.  Well, now you'll at least have-"  He froze as the door chirped, the sign that someone had put their palm to the scanner outside.

Uh oh.

In a flash, Ryou rushed across the room, planting himself right in front of the door.  It opened to show Hunk, who visibly started at suddenly having someone in his face.  "Woah!  Ryou!  Sorry, were you coming out?"  Then he paused, frowning.  "What are you doing in the kitchen?"

Ryou resisted the powerful desire to glance back at Lance.  It would only draw attention to him, and what a mess they'd made of the kitchen.  Instead, he rested one arm casually on the door frame, blocking Hunk's view inside.  "Looking for you," he replied, evenly as he could.

Blinking rapidly, Hunk gave a short nod.  "Oh.  Sure.  What did you need?"

Uh.

Couldn't be the arm, because Shiro had just used that excuse, and couldn't be food, because he'd want to go back.  Which left...

...Yellow.

"You had the yellow bayard last, right?"

Hunk slowly shook his head.  "No, I was working with the Olkarion during that last distress call.  You had it then."  His eyes narrowed and his lips pressed thin.  "Did you lose my bayard?"

Oh, Lance so owed him for this one.

Ryou gave a sheepish smile and shrugged one shoulder.  "It's never something I've had to keep up with!  I'm used to weapons you can't exactly misplace."  He waggled the fingers of the prosthetic, glowing a cheery Altean blue.  "I might have left it in the Yellow Lion, then."

Expression still darkly clouded, Hunk set his jaw.  "It better be.  Seriously, Ryou, you know how important it is.  You can't just leave it laying around!"

"I know!  I don't usually lose things, it's odd."  He shuffled in place.  "Would you mind checking your room just in case?  So we're absolutely sure it's not there."

Hunk's jaw set. "I know I didn't lose it.  I've never misplaced the bayard and I didn't have it last.  Why would it be in my room?"

"Just to eliminate it!  So I don't wonder and I can keep looking."

Suddenly, Hunk's eyes narrowed.  He tilted his head and looked Ryou up and down.  "Losing something really isn't like you."

Ryou swallowed hard, not sure what the sudden change of attitude was about.  "No, it's really not.  I put everything where it belongs.  I mean, I'm not as serious about it as Shiro is, but call it the family resemblance."

"Are you sure you lost it?" Hunk asked, dawning horror in his voice.  "Or was it stolen?"

Oh, boy.  Ryou racked his brain for a response to that.  "I don't think so?  I don't know when it would have happened.  I had it in the lion and then I don't remember where I put it after, and it's not in my armor."

"We should ask the others if they saw anything strange."  Hunk drew himself up, the gears behind his eyes working at full speed.  "Here, let me use the console to-"

"No!"

Hunk paused and slowly looked up at Ryou's face.  Ryou stared back, eyes wide and his arms braced against the door frame to keep Hunk out.

There was a long, painful silence.

"You didn't lose the bayard, did you?"

Utterly caught, Ryou shook his head.

Hunk nodded, then crossed his arms.  "Why can't I go into the kitchen?"

"Uh, because-"  Ryou scrambled for a decent explanation, but it all dried up in the face of Hunk's painfully direct glance.  He was a good liar, but damn, Hunk could actually be intimidating when he wanted to be.

There was a snicker from behind.  "Actually, he can come in now.  Don't kill us for the mess, it's with good intentions."

Ryou stepped back and turned, so he could see Lance leaning against the counter, the nicely frosted cake on a plate in his hands.  He gave a jaunty wave of greeting.

"How long were you done with that?" Ryou asked flatly.

Lance only grinned back.  "You were doing such a good job, I didn't want to interrupt."

Stepping inside, Hunk looked around, taking in the huge mess,  But then his eyes fell on the plate in Lance's hand.  "You two are cleaning whatever this is up, right?"

Saluting him, Lance nodded.  "Of course.  Just as soon as we're done."  With that, he held out the plate to Hunk.  "We figured you deserved somebody cooking for you for once.  Just for you.  We weren't really sure what we were doing, but... well, call it early Christmas cheer, alright?"

Hunk reached out and gently took the plate, as if it would shatter from the touch.  He looked down at the personal cake, up to Lance, then back to Ryou.   His lower lip wobbled, just a touch.  "You made this for me?"

If Ryou had known cooking for Hunk would get that kind of response, he would have... well, he would have talked to someone else about making something.  Somehow, he doubted it'd be quite as sweet to hand Hunk a plate full of some charred mass.  Or, worse, the goop that had made Lance's stomach rebel.  Not being able to taste had really not helped the lack of cooking skills.

"Thank you," Hunk finally murmured.  He swallowed hard, then smiled softly. "You got Pidge and Shiro in on it, huh?"

Shrugging one shoulder, Lance nodded.  "Wasn't hard.  They wanted to help surprise you.  It's a lot of work, for you to put in the effort to cook for us on top of everything else.  I know just being a paladin knocks me off my feet most days.  So this is a thank you."

Hunk surged forward, plate held carefully to the side, and he pulled Lance into a hug.  "Thank you."  Then he looked over at Ryou and offered him a smile.  "You getting in on this?"

Stepping forward, Ryou wrapped them both in a hug as best he could, carefully to keep away from the cake.  "Don't thank us too much yet.  You have to eat it first."

"I'm sure it's great," Hunk replied.  Then he glanced around the mess again.  "And if not, I appreciate the thought.  Tasting good is..."  He paused, lips slowly curling up.  "It's the icing on the cake."

Lance groaned and slumped dramatically against the counter.  "I was so nice to you!  And this is how you repay us!  Hunk, how could you betray me like this?"

Laughing, Hunk reached around him to retrieve a fork.  "I'm being spoiled, I'm allowed to make puns."  His eyebrows waggled.  "I thought it was a sweet thing to do."

This time, Ryou snickered, mostly at the way Lance flinched like he'd been physically wounded.  "Don't worry about it.  It was a piece of cake."

"I hate you both!"

***

The cake was later declared to be at least tasty enough that Hunk asked for their recipe.  Then he showed them the cookbook he had with ingredient translations that would have told them how to make a cake in under an hour.

It wouldn't have been as interesting, though.

[befitnesshub1]

What Does Hummus Taste Like? What is it Eaten with: Composition, Benefits, Recipes

What Does Hummus Taste Like?, If you have never tried hummus and do not even know what it is, then be sure to read this publication befitnesshub.com. This delicious product, despite its high-calorie content, will benefit your health. Here you will find out why you need to try hummus, how and what is better to eat with, and how to make it from chickpeas at home! You are also waiting for you a classic recipe and variations that you can make from several ingredients.

What is hummus?

Every country in the world has its own signature dish and is associated with it. For example, Russia is pancakes. Ukraine – borscht, and bacon. Italy – pasta and pizza. Germany – beer and sausages. But Israel is, of course, hummus! Any person who has visited this country has definitely tried their world-famous snack and will look for it in their country on supermarket shelves or cook it independently.

So, hummus is a Jewish cold appetizer that has a mousse consistency, a spicy-sweet taste, and is made from chickpeas (a variety of peas) and tahini (sesame paste). Served most often with flatbread, pita bread, or chips.

History of its origin:

There are many versions of where this dish originates. There is no consensus on the national dish of which country it is: Greece, Turkey, Israel, or maybe Cyprus. It is believed that the first mentions of him were found in Egypt. Agriculture in this country was highly developing, especially the cultivation of cereals and legumes, and in particular, chickpea, which was sold to the countries of Asia Minor.

Even on the frescoes dedicated to Nefertiti and Emperor Akhenaten’s love, a chickpea branch is depicted, symbolizing masculine strength. And in Japan, chickpea grains found in the tomb of Tutankhamun were recently able to sprout.

Hummus is still mentioned in the work of the great Homer “Iliad” of the 8th century BC. In it, he tells in detail about the formidable Greeks’ diet and, in particular, about hummus.

The famous historian Pliny also talked about this snack and recommended it as a stimulant of childbirth and lactation. In ancient times, chickpeas were used not only in making hummus. The founder of botany, Dioscorides, discovered its medicinal properties: a positive effect on the digestive system. He often used it in the treatment of warriors and even included in his famous descriptions of 1,500 medicines that he developed.

In the 1-2 centuries A.D., it is believed that the flourishing of Rome’s trade came, and it was at this time that chickpeas came to India, where they received their further distribution and development. There are new ways of processing and using it that were invented.

More recently, 10-15 years ago, hummus made its way to Europe and received recognition there. It is prepared according to many different recipes; it is found in many countries globally and is one of the most common cold snacks.

Related: 15 Outstanding Ramen Restaurants in Tokyo 2021

What does it taste like and what it smells like

Thanks to the crushed chickpeas, hummus tastes sweet and nutty-bean, which is incredibly creamy from the presence of tahini in sesame paste. Lemon juice adds a tart flavor, while garlic adds tanginess. The aroma can vary depending on spices such as sumac, cumin, and smoked paprika.

How to Make Hummus at Home

All you need to make hummus are a few ingredients:

chickpeas (boiled and chilled);

tahini (as a last resort, you can replace it with another nut butter);

lemon juice;

Olive oil.

How to Cook Chickpeas for Hummus

Place the chickpeas on a large plate. Examine it and look for damaged beans, rocks, and any other foreign matter that needs to be thrown away.

Rinse the chickpeas several times until the water runs clear. Soak it in clean water overnight with 1 tablespoon of baking soda. Then, wash it and soak it again in tap water for a few more hours. The grains should absorb most of the water and become almost double their original volume.

Wash the chickpeas well and place them in a large saucepan. Cover with water and simmer over medium heat until the beans can easily crush between two fingers. This will take about 1-1.5 hours, during which it is recommended to remove the foam.

When the chickpeas are boiled, strain them and set aside some water after cooking. It can be added to hummus if it is too thick.

Further on befitnesshub.com, you will find many options for delicious recipes for the step-by-step preparation of hummus with visual photos, and you will learn how to make it at home.

Classic Chickpea Hummus

This classic hummus recipe can easily modify by adding additional spices, vegetables, or other ingredients as desired. Add 1 to 3 teaspoons of savory spices such as cumin, sumac, harissa, or smoked paprika.

Ingredients:

1 clove of garlic;

1 cup cooked chickpeas

2 tablespoons lemon juice

2 tbsp. l. tahini (sesame paste);

¼ h. L. table salt;

2 tbsp. l. olive oil;

2 tsp water;

paprika (optional)

How to cook:

Combine garlic, washed and dried chickpeas, salt, lemon juice, tahini (sesame paste), olive oil, and water in a food processor and chopped until smooth, scraping off sides of the bowl as needed.

Taste and add salt, olive oil, or paprika as needed—store classic hummus in the refrigerator for up to 7 days.

Beetroot Hummus Recipe

Ingredients:

1 large red beet (about 300 grams);

1/3 cup tahini

1/3 cup olive oil

400 g cooked and chilled chickpeas (or canned);

1 large clove of garlic

3 tablespoons of freshly squeezed lemon juice (1-2 lemons);

1 teaspoon salt

One tsp smoked paprika;

1 tsp ground cumin;

a sprig of chopped fresh cilantro.

How to cook:

Preheat oven to 200 C.

Peel the beets, wrap them completely in aluminum foil, and place them on a baking sheet. Bake until cooked through, about 1 hour. Let it cool down.

Cut the beets into large pieces—place in a food processor equipped with a blade.

Add tahini, olive oil, chickpeas, garlic, lemon juice, salt, paprika, and cumin.

Grind until the mixture is smooth and creamy; this will take 2 to 3 minutes.

Sprinkle with cilantro after chopping.

Prepared beetroot hummus can be stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 1 week.

Related: Does Balsamic Vinegar Go Bad?

Pumpkin Hummus Recipe

These Added to the classic hummus recipe, the pumpkin gives it a creamy, juicy texture and at the same time a bright orange hue.

The cooking method is just as simple:

Combine all the chickpeas, pumpkin puree, paprika, lemon juice, and garlic ingredients in a blender or food processor, then blend, adding olive oil slowly while the machine is running.

Once the hummus is smooth, season it to taste with salt and pepper, then sprinkle with black sesame seeds for an interesting crunch.

Hummus Chemical Composition

Hummus is a good source of many vitamins and minerals, including vitamin B-6, folate, and thiamine.

Nutritional Value of Hummus per 100g

Name Quantity Percentage of the daily norm,%

Energy value (calorie content)177 Cal

Carbohydrates20,1 g15

Protein4.9 g

Fats8.6 g28

Dietary fiber (fiber)4 geleven

Folates59 μg15

Pyridoxine0,4 mg20

Thiamine0.1 mg6

Vitamin C7.9 mgthirteen

Potassium173 mgfive

Calcium49 mgfive

Copper0.2 mgeleven

Iron1,6 mg9

Magnesium29 mg7

Manganese0.6 mg28

Zinc1.1 mg7

Phosphorus110 mgeleven

All ingredients in hummus are rich in many important vitamins and minerals.

Tahini contains copper, magnesium, zinc, iron, phosphorus, and calcium. Garlic – trace elements, antioxidants, and vitamins (manganese, vitamins B6 and C, selenium).

Olive oil is rich in healthy monounsaturated fats and contains small amounts of vitamins E and K. It is packed with antioxidants. Antioxidants are biologically active compounds that help the body fight inflammation and prevent disease.

Although hummus is rich in vitamins and minerals, it should be eaten in moderation because the calorie content per 100 grams is quite high – an average of 177 calories.

Health Benefits of Hummus

Classic, authentic hummus is nutritious and packed with healthy nutrients that will benefit your health; here’s what it does:

It is an excellent source of vegetable protein.

The main ingredient in hummus is the chickpea, which belongs to the legume family and contains a large amount of vegetable protein: one tablespoon of chickpeas contains about 2.6g.

Eating high-protein foods speed up satiety, suppresses appetite, stabilizes blood sugar, and regulates weight loss. Protein deficiencies are most common in children, vegetarians, and vegans. Hummus is a great way to get extra protein, especially if you don’t consume animal or fish protein.

It is a good source of dietary fiber.

The fiber found in hummus is well known for its beneficial properties in maintaining a healthy digestive system. It helps control appetite and blood sugar and reduce the risks of obesity, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, irritable bowel syndrome, and hemorrhoids.

It contains healthy fats.

Thanks to the main ingredient in hummus, chickpeas, this snack contain polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats that are considered beneficial for our health. They improve blood cholesterol levels and reduce the risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes.

Hummus can be eaten with diabetes.

It is a very low glycemic index product (6 out of 100) and does not cause an insulin spike in the blood.

Hummus is good for losing weight.

It can be enjoyed even on the strictest diet, replacing sour cream or mayonnaise with it to reduce calorie intake.

Hummus is good for women.

It is quite normal to eat hummus during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. It is rich in essential nutrients, including protein, fiber, folate, and iron.

Contraindications (Harm) and Side Effects of Hummus

While hummus is a very healthy snack, that doesn’t mean it can be consumed in large quantities. This is not a dietary product because of its rather large calorie content.

Hummus has more benefits than harm, there are some contraindications to its use:

Individual intolerance to any of the ingredients.

If you are obese, it is undesirable to eat a lot of hummus.

Hummus should not be consumed by those people who are prone to flatulence from legumes.

How and with what to eat Hummus to make it Tasty

Here are a few ways you can eat and enjoy hummus to fully enjoy its taste.

Spread hummus on bread or toasted toast.

Use mayonnaise or mustard.

Dip pita bread or your favorite chips in hummus.

Combine mashed potatoes with hummus.

Boil the eggs, refrigerate, cut them in half, remove the yolk, and then combine with the hummus. Put this mixture back in the egg whites, and the savory snack is ready!

Carrots, broccoli, cucumbers – are there vegetables that don’t go well with hummus?

Add it to baked fish along with rosemary.

Combine hummus with olive oil, lemon juice, and paprika for an easy, healthy salad dressing.

It can use like butter on sandwiches, burgers, and crackers.

Just eat hummus with a spoon.

Given the many health benefits of hummus and its delicious taste, it’s no surprise that this dish has gained worldwide popularity.

Related: Best Oil for Cast Iron Seasoning

What is Hummus and How is it eaten

Those who have visited Eastern countries such as Israel, Turkey, and Lebanon at least once will answer without delay what hummus is. This spicy cold appetizer is insanely popular in these regions and is considered quite a traditional dish. If you want to know what kind of delicacy it is and what it is eaten with, then the following information will be useful for you.

Hummus is a spicy cold appetizer, similar in appearance and consistency to a paste. The photos in the article clearly show this. This dish made from chickpeas (lamb peas) with spices and herbs and sesame paste, which is called tahini in eastern countries. Ingredients like these can tell you what hummus tastes like.

Low-calorie are very satisfying in hummus and one of the favorite dishes of vegetarians and supporters of proper nutrition. One tablespoon of this product contains 25 calories. This delicacy is extremely healthy and the basis of this dish is chickpeas. And it is known to help regulate blood sugar levels. Moreover, this product contains an abundance of fiber and other useful substances that have a beneficial effect on the body’s vital functions.

Related post: 10 Substitute For Mushrooms For Kitchen Recipes

[cuddlysmii7y]

Salt and Sugar (Ohmtoonz)

If its one thing Luke knew for sure about Ryan, it was that he only drank the sweetest of coffee. Luke remembers stealing a drink of Ryan’s coffee as a joke only to gag at the amount of sugar in the beverage. Another thing Luke knew for certain was that Ryan wasn’t even a quarter of the way awake until he had his coffee with at least one shot of espresso. Usually on cold winter mornings, Luke would hide the coffee machine just so he would have an excuse to bring a sleepy Ryan back to bed for snuggles.

Luke tried to contain his wild grinning as he heard Ryan coming down the stairs.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Luke smiled. Ryan looked at him with bleary eyes and mumbled something incoherent, which Luke had learned was him saying ‘good morning’. “How’d you sleep?” Luke asked as Ryan trudged over to the coffee machine. Ryan just shrugged as he poured himself a cup. Ryan let out a huge yawn, letting muscle memory take over and dump spoonfuls of what he thought was sugar into his coffee. Luke had to cover his mouth with his fist in order to not just lose it. Ryan sat down oblivious to everything going on around him. Ryan sleepily rested his head on Luke’s shoulder, dazedly looking up at Luke. The way Ryan looked so peaceful, it made Luke start to second guess his earlier actions. Ryan nuzzled his neck, already starting to doze off. “Come on, you can’t fall asleep on me already, babe.” Luke chuckled lightly, his voice staying soft and silky. “Especially with your glasses still on.” Ryan scrunched up his nose. “You have coffee breath.” Ryan said, his voice still deep with sleep. Luke just kissed Ryan’s nose. “You wanna go back to bed or fall asleep at the table?” Luke watched as Ryan tried to blink the drowsiness out of his eyes. Ryan shook his head. “I need to get some editing done before a recording session.” Luke held his breath as Ryan picked up his coffee. Ryan closed his eyes in relaxation and took a big drink. Time seemed to slow down as Luke watched Ryan’s face contort into disgust. The tiredness flew off of Ryan’s appearance as his taste buds were violated with the taste of salty, strong coffee. The substance was immediately spat back into the mug as Ryan sputtered in surprise. “What the fuck was that?!” Ryan gagged. “I don’t know. What was it, Ohm?” “Luke, what did you do to my coffee…?” “Well, it did wake you up effortlessly, didn’t it?” Luke tried to contain his amusement. Ryan stared at him blankly. “You’re the worst.” “There’s no need to be so… salty, Ohmy.” Luke grinned. “You… put salt… in my coffee…” “Technically, you did.” Luke pointed out. Ryan stood up, leaving his dishs on the table, which was something he never did. “I have some editing to do.” “Aw, come on babe!” Luke reached out to catch Ryan’s hand. But Ryan kept walking. Luke sighed. “So it looks like its just you and me, Buddy.” Buddy looked up at him for a minute before prancing after Ryan. “Well fuck.” Ryan had been giving him the cold shoulder all day and it was driving Luke crazy. Sure he was use to not seeing the other when one of them was out on travel, or when one had a jam packed day of work. But even then they’d still send texts or light conversations during breaks, normally accompanied by spontaneous room vists for kisses. Now since none of these interactions were happening, Luke didn’t know what to do with himself. Luke had tried to appease his boyfriend by making Ryan’s favorite lunch dish and leaving it outside his door. But when Luke checked the hallway an hour later, Ryan’s door, which he had expected to be opened by now, was still shut and had an empty plate and glass sat in front of it. The only thing Ryan had said to him at all that day was that he was going to take Buddy for a walk. Luke had been trying to distract himself with editing all day. He couldn’t think of how to make it up to Ryan. He wished he could just buy Ryan a giant stuffed animal. But he knew Ryan was too practical for that. Luke sighed before deciding to call his other best friend for advice. Luke blindly hit the last discord he used with Delirious. “Jon, I need help. I really fucked up.” Luke sighed. “Cartoonz?” A different voice replied. Luke looked up to see he wasn’t in his personal server with Jon but a group chat. “Oh fuck, sorry guys. I must’ve hit the wrong discord.” “Your finee.” Jon laughed. “What’s the matter?” Evan asked, his voice coming through the speakers again. “Its something really stupid…” “Just fucking say it! You’re already here aren’t you?” Brian said. “I’m sure its not /that/ bad.” Brock chided. “Ryan’s been giving me the cold shoulder all day.” Luke sighed. “Oh you must’ve really fuck up.” Marcel said. “Thanks for the reassurance.” Luke grumbled. “What’d you do?” Jon asked. “Okay so this guy loves his coffee. Like absolutely can’t live without it. And one thing he does is just drown it all in ungodly amounts of sugar.” Luke started. “You didn’t do what I think you did, did you?” Brian interrupted. “Depends.” “On what?” “What do you think I did?” “Switch the sugar with cocaine?“ “What the fuck?! God, no!!” “What the hell, Brian?” Evan asked encredulisly. “It was a legitimate question, okay?!” Brian tried to defend himself. “No, it wasn’t!” Marcel cracked up. “Do you normally drink cocaine in your coffee, Brian?” Jon laughed. “Well, no but-” “Then why was the the first thing that came to your head?!” Brock chuckled. “I don’t know! I’m Irish!” “What does- ugh, nevermind. Luke, did you put salt in Ryan’s coffee?” Brock asked. “Maybe?” “Luke! You can’t do that to a man’s coffee!!” Jon laughed. “It was just a little joke to make him not want his coffee and go back to cuddling! I didn’t know he was gonna get so upset about it!” “Oh my god!” Evan laughed. “I told him I was sorry! Like a lot of times!” “And then what happened?” Brian asked. “He ignored me and took his dog on a walk.” “Ooo he’d rather spemd time with his dog over you. That’s rough.” Marcel said. “Its… ruff.” Brock giggled. “Shut up, Brock.” Brian laughed. “No, that was a good one!” Evan giggled. “Alright, so Ryan’s pretty romantic, right?” Jon asked. “Uh, I guess so. Why?” Luke asked. “Then we’ve got ourselves a gameplan.” Jon said with an audible grin. Ryan sighed as he walked through the front door. He unhooked his dog’s leash before kneeling down to take off the doggie protective shoes. “You want some water, Buddy? You did such a good job today!” Ryan smiled, rubbing his dog. He stood back up and stretched his legs. He kicked off his shoes before following the jack terrier into the kitchen. “LUKE, WE’RE BACK!” Ryan called out into the house as he always did after a walk. Ryan grabbed a glass from the cabinet and got some water before noticing Buddy run in circles in front of the fridge. “Oh what? You think you get a treat?” Ryan laughed lightheartedly. Buddy let out a “yip!” “Well, it was kinda hot out. BUT just this once. You won’t get one everytime we go on a walk.” Ryan smiled as he went to the fridge. He paused, remembering that he didn’t hear Luke when they came in. He was about to pull out his phone to text the other when he noticed a note on the fridge. Ryan chuckled and shook his head. Ryan put the sticky note aside as he open the freezer. He heard Buddy bark in excitement. Ryan giggled as he kneeled down. “You ready? Alright, here you go!” Ryan dropped an ice cube on the floor. Ryan looked back at the note as Buddy pounced on the frozen treat. “Go out back ;)” Ryan eyed it in suspicion. He left Buddy pushing his ice cube across the floor and walked across the room towards the backdoor. He opened the shades on the door so Buddy could see where he was going. Ryan gasped when his saw the backyard. The back patio was strung with fairy lights. A warm glow was cast over the seating from the varity of candles lit all around. Ryan pulled open the sliding door and stepped out. Ryan walked a couple steps, admiring the display in awe. “Luke?” Ryan called out. He paused for a second to see if he could hear him. “You out here?” Ryan walked around until he came across their hammock, all set up between two trees. Then warm arms wrapped around his waist from behind. Ryan smiled knowly as he leaned back into the familiar embrace. The pair stayed like that for a few seconds, just basking in each other’s presence. Ryan felt the chest up against his back vibrate with a low hum. Ryan tilted his head back and looked up at the face behind him. Luke’s eyes were trained on his face, trying to gauge his emotion. Ryan giggled and made a kissy face at him, getting a light kiss on the forehead in response. “Wanna lay down, darlin?” Luke finally asked, his voice rumbling. “I’d love to.” Ryan smiled. They started towards the hammock, holding hands, before Luke stopped. “Luke?” Ryan looked back at him. “How the fuck are we gonna get in together?” Luke said, staring at the hammock. Ryan looked at Luke for a second before cracking up. “What?! It’s a serious problem we have here!” “Well we just, uh, get in it?” “And how do you suppose we do that? Hm?” “Get in how you’d normally, but together?” “Fuck it. Let’s try.” It had started with a lot of elbowing, awkward kneeing, and one time of nearly falling out before they finally settled in comfortably. Their legs were tangled together. Ryan was half on, half off of Luke’s chest. Luke had one arm under Ryan’s waist and the other hand caressing Ryan’s hair. Luke started peppering kisses across Ryan’s jaw before moving to his neck. “I’m sorry for switching your sugar. I didn’t mean to make you mad.” Luke mumbled against Ryan’s neck. Ryan pulled himself up so he could look into Luke’s eyes. “I’ll forgive you on two conditions.” Ryan said. “What?” “First, you never mess with my coffee ever again.” Luke laughed. “Yeah I think I learned my lesson with that one.” “Well I’m glad.” “What was the other condition?” Luke asked. “That you keep cuddlin me like this.” Ryan giggled. “My pleasure.” Luke kissed him sweetly as he guided Ryan back into the crook of his arms.

[yournycdollar-blog]

Breadmaker Baking vs Buying to Lower Food Expenses

Greetings Gothamites! Several weeks ago, I impulsively purchased a Zojirushi Breadmaker, under the ruse it would help lower monthly food expenses. Living in New York City (NYC), most expenses are inflated versus other localities, including groceries, restaurants, and, sadly bars too. First, let’s touch on the conclusion, then my own food-related expenses, which were the partial catalyst that prompted this purchase, and finally we’ll move to the actual cost of homemade breadmaking.

Conclusions First 

Baking bread with a breadmaker at home might help lower monthly food expenses, but a low-cost machine is necessary and your commitment. The Zojirushi Breadmaker is high cost and you're unlikely to meaningfully lower your food expenses quickly or recoup the expense vs. buying. Lower-cost alternatives such as Hamilton Beach, or buying via Goodwill are more frugal options to lower your monthly food bill. Like most New Yorkers, you're probably constantly constrained for time, so your best option may be simply buying the damn loaf. My Food & Restaurant Expenses Are Disgustingly High The simple truth is, our monthly food and restaurant expenses are disgustingly high, even by New York standards. For July 2018, food and dining expenses for our household were $2,418.63, or 26% of the total, according to our Mint.com data. It was the second-largest expense category coming in just behind the home at 33%. Within that food and restaurant expense category 63% was allocated towards restaurants and bars! There’s nothing frugal about that spending. But, what can I do about it? This is NYC, it’s expensive, right? Print  CSV  Excel  Copy   Enter the Breadmaker, the Solver of All Food-Expense Related Problems One fine rain-soaked commute into work via the wonderful NYC subway, I was drowning out the background noise of a mother yelling at her children and another young man kind enough to introduce everyone to reggaeton, listening to a ChooseFI podcast. I believe it was episode 007 (America’s Food Obsession | How To Crush Your Grocery Bill) wherein partway through commenting on food preparation at home somewhat they nonchalantly mentioned using a breadmaker, at a cost of $0.18 per loaf! This planted the seed. What an excellent way to lower monthly food expenses! On the commute home my obsessive-compulsive persona was frantically pondering if a breadmaker would help lower monthly food expenses. It appealed to me, and why not? At $0.18 per loaf it was cheap relative to buying from the local grocery that could cost $2.00-3.00 for bargain-priced options, but in practice, over $5.00 for a whole wheat multigrain. I liked the idea of automation and timesaving elements of using a breadmaker too. To me, optimization is key alongside lowering expenses on my path to financial independence. My partner was receptive to the idea of making bread at home. In fact, more supportive than I anticipated given it could possibly lower monthly food expenses, but more importantly, provide a preservative-free vegan option too. I’ll come back to this later. So Why the Zojirushi Breadmaker? Ultimately, we chose to purchase the Zojirushi Breadmaker, which also happened to be about the most expensive option ($$$$). I liked the fact that it provided a heating element at the top of the machine which provides a more even browning versus alternative breadmakers. Perhaps more importantly, it also bakes a two-pound loaf that is similar in size and shape to store-bought bread. The runner-up was the Breville Custom Loaf Bread Maker, also fairly expensive ($$$), but with the added automated fruit and nut dispenser. Beyond that, lower price point alternatives that were intriguing included the Cuisinart Convection Bread Maker ($$) that utilizes convection heating technology and the more budget-friendly Hamilton Beach ($). Honestly, for the more budget-conscious consumer who may want to simply test the Kool-Aid first, your best bet may be purchasing a used breadmaker via your local Goodwill store, Craigslist or eBay. I get the distinct impression most breadmakers purchased new are often regifted or left off at their local Goodwill. But, if breadmaking is so inexpensive and healthier, why are people dumping their breadmakers? Look, like starting anything from scratch, including breadmaking, it takes some commitment and diligence to achieve the end result. Using a breadmaker at home is no different. When you dig into the actual cost and effort associated with homemade breadmaking it is more expensive than we initially anticipated as we’ll touch on next. The Vegan Low Carb Criteria Conundrum There are two key criteria to our homemade bread recipe; 1) it needs to be vegan and 2) also low carb. Here’s where opposites attract I suppose. Myself, I try to generally limit carb intake, which lends itself to a protein-rich diet and I was previously not a big bread consumer as a result. My partner, on the other hand, is at the opposite end of this spectrum. Vegan. Engaging the help of Google, I was able to find a proper recipe wherein our universes overlapped. The recipe for low carb vegan bread below was derived from Gabi's World-Famous Bread, but modified with added stevia and salt for taste. It is vegan and at around 3.4 net carbs per slice, passes as low carb too. Low Carb Vegan Bread Recipe – 2lb Loaf Begin with adding yeast plus agave syrup (or sugar) and stevia to the bottom of your breadmaker. Pour warm water (90-100°F) over and then give it a few minutes to see if the mixture is bubbling (reacting); this is proofing. Concurrently, in a separate bowl, mix your dry ingredients. Once the wet mixture is proofed, add olive oil, then add your dry ingredient mixture to the breadmaker. Set it and forget it after that, the breadmaker will take it the rest of the way! Ingredients Measure Units Dry Yeast - Rapid tsp (or 2 pks) 4 1/2 Sugar or Agave tsp 1 Olive Oil Tbsp 6 Baking Powder tsp 3 Salt tsp 3 Stevia pks 10 Vital Wheat Gluten Flour cups 2 Oat Flour cups 1/2 Soy Flour cups 1 1/2 Flaxseed Meal cups 1/2 Wheat Bran Unprocessed cups 1/2 Water cups 2 1/4 For our initial foray into breadmaking, we purchased a limited amount of ingredients via Amazon. We were able to buy small packages of dry yeast, baking powder, vital wheat gluten flour, oat flour, soy flour, flaxseed meal and wheat bran unprocessed. Other items we previously had on hand or bought from Costco. There would be no economies of scale with this initial venture! More excited than a college student comped a free drink, we hurriedly mixed the ingredients upon arrival and tossed them into the new Zojirushi Breadmaker. Pressing the start button after closing the machine, we looked with anticipation pondering what would happen next. Not much, in fact. Breadmaking is boring, and it was several minutes before the machine proceeded to do anything. The whole process takes several hours and we moved on to other matters; this was the optimization we were paying for, right? After about three hours the process was complete. What came out (based on half the ingredients listed above for a one-pound loaf, sans the stevia and about half the amount of salt), was a Franken-Loaf looking hunk of bread. It had knots characteristic of those you’d see on a disfigured tree limb and wouldn’t pass for something in the discount bin of your local grocery. It was pigeon food! The taste, that’s what matters, I told myself. After cooling, we cut some slices and bite into the still-warm bread; cardboard. Was it worth eating cardboard to lower monthly food expenses? Our next experiment turned out markedly better, with added sweetener in the form of stevia plus about 50% more salt than the original recipe called for. This made for a notable improvement in the taste that was similar to store-bought bread. After finding a palatable recipe that worked, like any individual on their path to financial independence, I wanted to dig into lower the cost. Hindsight 20/20, this should have been the first step before even purchasing the Zojirushi Breadmaker! Only a New Yorker Can Make an $8.00 Loaf of Bread at Home Leave it up to a New Yorker to figure out a way to make at homemade bread at $8.00 per loaf. And, no, it does not have avocados on it or truffle oil in it! After scouring Google a bit more, I was able to find a local place called Bakers Authority that sells most of the items I needed for our low carb vegan bread recipe. Here I was able to purchase semi-bulk sizes of key ingredients including vital wheat gluten and soy flours, among other items. Purchasing in five-pound bags from here was notably cheaper than Amazon. It is worth noting, that costs could be reduced by purchasing 50-pound bags of select items that have extended shelf lives (such as wheat gluten where the cost per pound could be -40% less!). So, how do we arrive at our $8.00 per loaf cost for homemade bread? Let’s take a step back to your microeconomics class of yesteryear. Remember your production cost formulas of total costs equals fixed plus variable costs? That’s okay, neither do I most of the time. But, in essence, that’s one of the key costs we’re concerned with when considering the expense of breadmaking at home. We have our variable costs including our ingredients, energy and labor, plus our fixed cost, the breadmaker. For simplicity of our analysis I’ve excluded labor, but your time (labor) is something to be mindful of! The closest substitute product for our low carb vegan bread recipe comes in at around $8-10 per loaf. The table below breaks down the variable cost components for the recipe based on most of the ingredients purchased from Bakers Authority and Costco. Electricity data was pulled from our Wemo (assumes $0.275 per kWh, about the monthly average thus far for NYC in 2018). The graph following provides a breakeven of how many loaves we’d need to bake at home before breaking even with store-bought substitutes at $8.00 per loaf for low vegan low carb and $2.25 for plain white bread. Ingredients Measure Units Cost per Loaf Dry Yeast - Rapid tsp (or 2 pks) 4 1/2                0.20 Sugar or Agave tsp 1                0.07 Olive Oil Tbsp 6                0.82 Baking Powder tsp 3                0.10 Salt tsp 3                0.03 Stevia pks 10                0.39 Vital Wheat Gluten Flour cups 2                2.27 Oat Flour cups  1/2                0.33 Soy Flour cups 1 1/2                1.32 Flaxseed Meal cups  1/2                0.53 Wheat Bran Unprocessed cups  1/2                0.17 Water cups 2 1/4                0.00 Electricity kWh 0.35                0.10 Cost per Loaf Total                6.32 The variable cost of making a two-pound loaf of low carb vegan bread is about $6.32. Add another $1.68 per loaf to account for the fixed cost of the breadmaker assuming 191 loaves baked (the breakeven assuming a ~$320 breadmaker cost), and your total unit cost per loaf is now $8.00. Not so cheap, right? It is also worth noting, due to the Zojirushi's high upfront (fixed) cost, even in the event you baked 300 loaves at home, that last loaf would only save you about $0.61 versus buying. Under a different scenario if one were to make homemade white bread with the Zojirushi, the variable cost component is significantly less. Based on the recipe below with ingredients purchased from Costco, the variable cost is about $0.61 per loaf, with the fixed cost estimated at $1.64 (195 loaf breakeven), bringing the total unit cost to $2.25. Baking beyond the 195 loaves one would actually start to save a small amount per loaf versus buying. It is worth noting the disparity if an individual had purchased the lower fixed cost Hamilton Beach breadmaker. At only 37 loaves made with the Hamilton Beach of plain white bread, you're already at breakeven versus buying a low priced alternative at the grocery (assuming a ~$60 breadmaker cost for this analysis) Contrast that with the higher cost Zojirushi wherein you're not at breakeven until 195 loaves! Ingredients Measure Units Cost per Loaf Dry Yeast - Rapid tsp (or 2 pks) 4 1/2                0.20 Sugar Tbsp 4                0.06 Vegetable Oil Tbsp 8                0.19 Salt tsp 3                0.02 White Flour cups 6                0.04 Water cups 2 1/4                0.00 Electricity kWh  0.35                0.10 Cost per Loaf Total                0.61 Does Homemade Breadmaking Save Money? Time Will Tell It remains to be seen if my impulsive purchase of the Zojirushi Breadmaker will help lower monthly food expenses. At $8.00 per loaf, on the surface, this seems unlikely. However, taking a step back to your microeconomics class, perhaps you recall substitute goods? Ultimately, our goal is to lower our food expenses in NYC. Previously, maintaining a low carb high protein diet wasn’t the cheapest option. A homemade meal of baked organic chicken and brussels may cost $4-5 per serving (still significantly cheaper than buying out). While the $8.00 homemade bread is expensive, spread out over eight sandwiches (~16 slices per loaf), plus the cost of meats and condiments, the cost of per serving is likely $2-3. At this time, I don’t have an answer for you if the breadmaker will help lower our monthly food expenses here in NYC. It will take time and commitment, like most things on the path to financial independence. Six months down the road if we are still committed breadmakers, there are incremental options we can use to lower costs and improve optimization. We can buy bulk 50-pound bags of key ingredients with long shelf lives lowering several variable costs by as much as 40%. Periodically we can also pre-mix dry ingredients in canning jars to make the weekly breadmaking process less time consuming during the hectic workweek. Is homemade breadmaking something worth pursuing yourself? There are a number of positives and negatives with the process. You may be able to lower your costs if you consume a significant amount of bread in your family. But be mindful, the breakeven with a high-cost Zojirushi Breadmaker could be 3.7 years or longer (assuming ~52 loaves per year). If you buy secondhand or a lower cost breadmaker, you could significantly reduce that payback period and lower your breakeven point. Using the lower price point Hamilton Beach model your breakeven drops to 0.7 years (37 loaves)! Other immeasurable benefits such as the absence of preservatives in homemade bread and perhaps your love of cooking and trying new recipes may be offsetting factors to the hard math associated with breadmaking costs. All of that said, if you’re like most New Yorkers, you’re endlessly busy and constantly time constrained; go buy a damn loaf of bread and call it a day! Read the full article

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The Healing Power of a Gut Cleanse: 6-Day Detox

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The Healing Power of a Gut Cleanse: 6-Day Detox

The body is an incredible machine. Each person’s body has a built-in detox system — starting with the gastrointestinal( GI) tract — that process toxins, chemicals, and other harmful substances that your food unavoidably contains.

The GI tract begins to remove harmful substances from your food by send them out of the body in your stool or to the liver and kidneys to be fully detoxified. The GI tract also breaks down the food you ate, utilizing the nutrients to build muscle, bone, brain, and other critical body tissues.

Over time, your gut can get overwhelmed from the toxins it assimilates from the food and water you consume, the air you breathe, and the products you use on a daily basis. A intestine cleanse — sometimes called a colon cleanse — can ensure all those toxins aren’t affecting your ability to stay healthy.

Short Breakdown of the Gut Cleanse

Get Ready: Stock up on raw organic apple cider vinegar( ACV ), distilled water, and healthy, plant-based foods, or fruit if you’re doing the fruit-only option.

Make ACV mix: Prepare six gallons of ACV mix by adding two tablespoons of ACV per one gallon of distilled water.

Days 1 to 6: Follow a healthy diet with three small snacks throughout the day, such as avocado, nuts, or fruit. Drink an ACV mix throughout the day. Before bed, take an oxygen-based colon cleanser.

Post Cleanse: Follow a healthy, plant-based diet with three small dinners throughout the day. Make sure to drink lots of water with fresh lemon.

Read the full details below .

What Does Your Gut Do for You?

When someone refers to the “gut, ” they’re typically referring to the entire digestive system. That’s everything from mouth to anus — including the esophagus, stomach, pancreas, liver, gallbladder, small intestine, and large intestine, also called the colon.

Every section of the digestive tract has a function, and the colon is one of the most important. It’s a U-shaped part of the intestines that is up to six feet long. The colon has four sections: ascending, transverse, descending, and sigmoid. A whole ecosystem of gut bacteria resides inside the colon, helping to keep your digestion on track.

What Is a Gut Cleanse?

A gut cleanse is an incredibly effective route to improve your overall health and wellness, boosting your gut’s ability to digest food and detoxify harmful substances. A gut cleanse has three main components: eliminating, flushing, and replenishing.

First, you eliminate food items known to cause digestive issues, such as dairy, meat, gluten, and other allergens, while feeing a clean diet — ideally, all fruit — for several days. Next, you flush your digestive system of all the extra waste, toxins, and organisms it has collected over time. Last, you replenish your gut’s beneficial organisms, also called probiotics.

A gut cleanse is a three-step process — eliminate, flush, and replenish — that can kick-start a new, healthy lifestyle.

Cleansing your intestine is something you should regularly do — it’s not just a one-time quick fix. Your gut needs regular upkeep. Doing a intestine cleanse is a great opportunity to kick-start new, healthy habits. You will feel so much better after clearing out the old gunk and welcoming in healthier foods, more beneficial probiotic bacteria, and smoother digestion.

Signs That It’s Time for a Cleanse

The Standard American Diet( SAD) is ruthless when it comes to messing with your gut health. All of the meat, dairy, sugar, wheat, and fried and processed foods unleash all sorts of havoc on your body, leading to accumulated toxins and even compacted fecal matter in the gut. Many people say that they can feel when it’s time for a gut cleanse.

Your body is constantly sending signals that you need to cleanse, and some people say they can even feel when it’s time for a gut cleanse!

Your body is pretty good at sending out signals to make sure you’re aware that something is off-balance. If you notice any of the following symptoms, it’s a pretty strong indicator that it’s time for a intestine cleanse.

Skin blemishes Mental fog Poor sleep Low energy Poor appetite Headaches Body odor Body aches Constipation Bad breath

Gut Detox Protocol

To ensure you’re doing the gut cleanse properly, be sure to follow the dietary instructions below. In some styles, a cleanse is similar to fasting. You will be eliminating a lot of foods that you ordinarily eat unless you already follow a very clean diet.

Gut Cleanse Diet

You have two options for the gut cleanse diet. The fruit-only option is ideal, and you will get the best outcomes with it. However, you are able to do a gut cleanse by eating mostly plant-based foods.

Option 1: Fruit-Only Diet

While performing your intestine cleanse, you should eat organic fruit. Choose fruits from the following list. These particular alternatives are full of nutrients and water and are gentle on your digestive system. You can eat as much fruit as you want.

Apples Avocados Bananas Blackberries Blueberries Grapefruit Oranges Papaya Pineapple Raspberries Strawberries Tomatoes Watermelon White grapes

Non-Fruit Option

If you need a heartier alternative, you can eat a plant-based diet; eliminate meat, dairy, eggs, soy, wheat, and gluten-containing products. Eat organic or locally grown food for best results. Below are a few additional tips-off :P TAGEND

Eat healthy, plant-based foods for six days straight-out with three small portions daily.

Eliminate meat, dairy, eggs, soy, GMOs, wheat and gluten-containing foods.

Eat lots of salads, vegetable soups, raw nuts, seeds, and fruits.

Do not cook any food in a microwave as this will reduce the effectiveness of cleansing.

Eat dinner at least one hour before bedtime.

Avoid all alcoholic beverages.

Avoid artificial sweeteners like those in diet sodas and other diet products. Instead use honey, stevia, monk fruit, or coconut sugar.

Avoid high fructose corn syrup, molasses, white sugar, dextrose, sorbitol, processed fructose, and sucrose.

Replace table salt with seasonings like Himalayan salt.

Ingredients

You’ll want to make sure you have the proper ingredients for this gut detox on hand before starting. All its consideration of this agenda item on this list work together to balance out your intestine microflora, remove toxins from your system, and normalize your digestive health.

6 gallons of distilled water 3 organic lemons 8 ounces of organic, raw, unpasteurized, apple cider vinegar 1 bottle of Oxy-Powder( r ) 1 bottle of Latero-Flora( tm ) Organic fresh fruit Himalayan crystal salt

The distilled water, lemons, and apple cider vinegar create a drink you’ll hydrate with throughout the cleanse. Here’s how to make it :P TAGEND

Take one gallon of distilled water and pour out four ounces Add two tablespoons of organic apple cider vinegar Shake well Add the juice from half a lemon Mix and refrigerate

Instructions

This gut cleanse is a six-day process. Each day, make one gallon of the apple cider vinegar cocktail and beverage it throughout the day.

Save eight ounces of the apple cider vinegar mixture for the end of the day. Just before you go to bed every night, use it to take six capsules of Oxy-Powder. If you have any left over after that, don’t save it — pitch the remainder and make a fresh batch in the morning.

Select a personal affirmation that works for you, perhaps related to the reason why you’re doing the cleanse. Are you trying to improve your overall health? Try, “I am healthy.” Is it to rid yourself of toxins? Say, “I am clean.” Are you determined to lose weight? Repeat, “I am lighter.” Or pick an affirmation that are in line with your goals.

Important: Drink 12 to 20 ounces of the intestine cleanse cocktail when you wake up and between meals.

Breakfast

Take 3 Latero-Flora capsules 20 minutes before eating. Feed breakfast. Follow your dietary alternative. Drink 12 to 20 ounces of the intestine cleanse cocktail. Recur your affirmation nine periods.

Lunch

Eat lunch. Follow your dietary alternative. Drink 12 to 20 ounces of the intestine cleanse cocktail.

Repeat your affirmation nine hours.

Dinner

Eat dinner. Follow your dietary alternative. Beverage 12 to 20 ounces of the gut cleanse cocktail. Recur your affirmation nine days.

Bedtime

Take six capsules of Oxy-Powder. Drinking the remaining eight ounces of apple cider vinegar mixture. Before closing your eyes, recur your affirmation to encourage a restful night’s sleep.

Repeat these instructions for six days. After the first full day of the cleanse, you should expect to have three to five bowel movement every day. If you don’t, increase your Oxy-Powder intake by two capsules every night until you reached the three to five mark the following day.

Note: Because a intestine cleanse flushes out most of the food and compacted trash that has accumulated in your intestine, you will want to replenish your gut microbes with beneficial bacteria at the end of your cleanse. Take a probiotic supplement that can boost the results of your cleanse.

Benefits of a Gut Detox

A healthy gut means a happy body. When your colon and digestive system are working the route they are able to, your body’s natural ability to detoxify itself is at peak performance.

If your digestive system is not working properly, you most likely aren’t getting all the nutrients available from what you eat. Your body may also be having trouble absorbing enough water from your food. A intestine detox can get your digestion to a better place. Below we list the top benefits of a gut cleanse.

Balance Your Emotions

When your intestine is in proper working order, it can affect your mood in a good way. Several analyses is demonstrating that nervousnes and stress increase with greater inflammation in the body — and inflammation occurs when your diet is less than optimal .[ 1] A gut cleanse can normalize this systemic redness and swelling, helping to balance out your emotions.

Regulate& Restore Your Immune System

The micro-organisms in your intestine interact quite closely with your immune system, and depending on which organisms you’ve get, there’s a potential link to autoimmune diseases.

A gut detox can help eliminate the harmful organism in your body, helping the gut to mend and keeping your immune system on track while replenishing your intestine with beneficial microbes .[ 2]

Relieve Constipation& Promote Regularity

Your body can have a hard time with digestion when you follow a poor diet that’s full of processed foods, meat, and sugar. An unhealthy diet can be achieved through compacted garbage — or, in other words, constipation.

Since you eliminate unhealthy foods on a intestine detox, while focusing on drinking water and eating fiber-rich foods, it helps your system, removing trash and flushing out the bad stuff.

Essentially, your gut will be reset following a cleanse, which means your bowel movements will likely be more regular and consistent, and you’ll be processing and digesting food at healthy levels again.

Increase Energy

One of the most commonly reported benefits following a gut detox is a big energy boost, especially if you follow it up by switching to a healthier diet.

You may not even need that beaker of morning coffee anymore. You’ll not only feel more awake, but you are able to also simply feel better overall.

Jumpstart Your Metabolism

Both new research and therapies focus on how the microbiome in your intestine assistances regulate metabolism. A intestine cleanse could be just what you need to take your body’s innate calorie-burning power to a higher level.

As a bonus, once your biome is in top shape, it may help you fight against obesity. Early surveys is demonstrating that new therapies focused on gut flora could be effective at lowering obesity rates .[ 3] This is why replenishing the intestine with beneficial probiotics is essential to the overall effectiveness of any cleanse.

Boost Nutrient Absorption

Within your intestine, the colon assimilates nutrients from the food you’re eating. If your gut is unhealthy, those nutrients were not able to be properly absorbed.

When that happens, you’re at a higher risk for things like inflammatory bowel cancer( IBD ), irritable bowel disorder( IBS ), malabsorption disorder, leaky gut, Crohn’s disease, and nutritional deficiencies.

Strengthen Your Brain

Recent research shows that the health of your gut can have a positive impact on brain function. Specific diets — like the healthy one you’ll adopt after your detox — can help normalize neurodevelopmental disorders.

Some probiotics are also known to influence brain activity, so be sure to add them back into your diet with supplements once the cleanse is over .[ 4]

Other Ways to Maintain a Healthy Gut

Once you’re done with the cleanse, attain following a healthy diet your new norm, especially if you previously ate meat, dairy, or a lot of processed foods. There are other options for maintaining a healthy gut as well — things you should probably do together with that diet, listed below.

Manage Your Stress

Too much stress can cause a whole array of ailments, including ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome, and gastroesophageal reflux disease( GERD ).[ 5] If you’re stressed out, try healthy ways to manage it — like meditation, yoga, and deep breathing.

Take Enzymes

Digestive enzymes have one main purpose — to break down food so you can digest it more efficiently — but they also boost your health in other ways.

Enzyme supplements supporting normal digestion, reduce bloating and gas, protect your cells and tissues from oxidative injury, and deter systemic redness and swelling.

Adopt a Plant-Based Diet

Animal-based diets have an undeniably negative affect on gut health .[ 6] A plant-based diet that focuses on organic fruit, veggies, legumes, nuts, seeds, and grains helps to normalize mood, fight obesity, and promote a healthier gut microbiome.

A plant-based diet promotes strong digestion, and helps with heart health, anti-aging, and so much more. Herbal and green teas, as well as supplements, can add additional nutrients and antioxidants to your plant-based diet.

Incorporate Probiotics

Recent research shows that probiotics help restore healthy intestine flora , normalize swelling, boost mood, improve skin health, and ease certain systemic illness .[ 7]

Supplements can help introduce the right probiotics into your body. Choose supplements that contain many probiotic stress as well as prebiotics, fiber-rich “food” for the microbes. You can also add dairy-free probiotic foods to your diet for additional benefit. Many fermented foods, like kombucha, sauerkraut, and kimchi, naturally contain beneficial probiotics.

Start Exercising

Exercise is for more than only weight loss. It helps keep you alert, releases stress, and keeps your brain functioning at an optimal level — and it’s helpful for your intestine, too.

When you exert, it boosts the number of beneficial microbe species in your intestine, which boosts digestion as well as your immune system .[ 8]

Points to Remember

A gut cleanse, also known as a colon cleanse, is an important part of regulating your digestive system and get your body back on track. With an unhealthy internal system, you’ll feel sick and sluggish. A gut detox can also normalize your mood, immune system, and digestion — all the while promoting regularity.

We recommend our Colon Cleanse Kit as part of a healthy lifestyle to simultaneously support your gut and colon.

An ideal gut cleanse spans six days. During that time you will eat only fruit — or a clean, plant-based diet — allowing your gastrointestinal tract to clean itself out, lighten its load, and detoxify. Apple cider vinegar, lemon, and gut-detox supplements, taken at regular intervals, help the process. Taking a probiotic when you are complete the cleanse helps ensure your gut bides healthy afterward.

Once you finish the cleanse, it’s important to maintain optimal intestine health. You can do this by exercising, taking supplements, changing your diet, and controlling stress.

Have you ever done a gut cleanse? Share your thoughts in the comments!

The post The Healing Power of a Gut Cleanse: 6-Day Detox appeared first on Dr. Group’s Healthy Living Articles.

Read more: globalhealingcenter.com

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The Foolproof Immune-enhancing Plan That Cleanses And Purifies Your Body, While "Patching Up" Holes, Gaps, And Inefficiencies In Your Digestive System (And How To Do It Without Wasting $10+ Per "Meal")

Step 1: Soaking

By soaking grains correctly we can create an environment that starts to counteract anti-nutrients such as lectins and phytic acid.

The four conditions needed for proper soaking are:

1. Water/Moisture

2. A Slightly Acidic Medium

3. Warmth

4. Time

--->> A simple and effective way to this:

1. Pour Rice (or grain of choice) into a glass bowl

2. Cover with warm water (warmer than room temperature - 100 degrees or so is ideal)

3. Add 1 teaspoon of acidic medium, per cup of grains.

a. The acid medium can be either vinegar or lemon juice. Homemade whey can be used too. (I usually just use lemon juice)

4. Store at room temperature or warmer

5. Let it soak overnight (12-24 hours is ideal)

6. When you're ready to cook the grains, just throw out the acidic water, and rinse the grains in fresh water.

7. Drain and cook immediately, or let it sit for 1-3 days for better health benefits.

8. Enjoy your low anti-nutrient meal!

You'll notice I used rice as my example. This is because of all grains, rice is already low in anti-nutrients.

Health Tip: Brown rice is the bigger offender here since it has the whole bran/grain intact, thereby hoarding more anti-nutrients. It's not "bad" for you, but requires a little extra prep time for it to be best absorbed. White rice is surprisingly not so bad since it is simply the rice, stripped of the bran and all the anti-nutrients that come with it (it is the best, and one of the few "good" refined foods out there. Most Asian cultures, known for their longevity, will agree that white rice)

And a quick section on gluten: Many other grains (besides rice, quinoa, buckwheat, and millet) are problematic because of higher lectin/phytic acid content, or even worse, lots of gluten.

I have noticed tons of issues with gluten, especially with digestion/bloating and skin issues, so I eat them VERY rarely. (Gluten is a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye...three foods I generally avoid like the plague, except for the occasional dark, fermented whole rye bread.)

The problem is well-documented in recent research, with gluten sensitivities causing a host of chronic illnesses, even for people who do not have celiac disease (gluten intolerance).

Gluten is now thought to be a major culprit in:

Weight retention and Fat Gain

Joint pain and Osteoporosis

Depression

Dementia, ADD and other mental function issues

Chronic Fatigue

These conditions are in addition to nausea, constipation, bloating and abdominal pain that is known to be a symptom of gluten sensitivity.

For this reason, I recommend that at a bare minimum you cut out gluten for 30 days.

This is easily achieved during the intro "Insulin Reset" phase I recommend for most overweight/obese types (eating protein, fats, and veggies with low carb intake).

I can just about GUARANTEE you will feel way better on an all-natural, grain-light, gluten-free diet.

And for the times when you choose to eat more grain-based foods in the "Primary Fat Loss" and "Leangevity/Maintenance" phases, just stick to the essentials that have been around for thousands of years.

*Think about it this way.*

Would you choose bread or rice?

Option #1: Whole Wheat Bread (upwards of 20 ingredients; full of sugar, industrialized fats, etc; made in a factory full of chemicals and toxins)

Option #2: Rice (1 ingredient; ZERO chemicals or pesticides when buying imported varieties; made in natural rice paddies)

I'll choose rice any day.

Also, please beware of "healthy foods" such as oats and sprouted breads. Oats are likely to have some gluten in them, and the packaged versions are loaded with sugar.

As for sprouted breads (Ezekiel is a popular brand), they're OK but many still are wheat-based, and gluten-rich. While the sprouting does reduce some anti-nutrients, isn't always enough.

Choose this over regular bread any day, but try to keep intake to a minimum in the grand scheme of things (1-2 slices a day, max. But preferably 1-2 slices or less every 3 days).

Putting breads aside, sprouting is a great option for beans, seeds, and other legumes.

Step 2: Sprouting

The process here can be more time consuming than just soaking, but is incredibly useful for better digestion, increased availability of vitamins and minerals, increased protein content, and decreased carb/starch content.

1. Soak beans overnight in water (about 8-12 hours)

2. Drain beans. Then rinse and drain again (tilt the container upside down so the draining can occur more efficiently)

3. Cover the bowl or container you're using, with a cheesecloth of muslin. Secure this with a rubber band/elastic band.

4. You'll see sprouts appear soon.

5. Continue to rinse and drain the beans twice a day for 3 days or so. (5 days max). You can rinse/drain through the cloth.

6. Once they've fully sprouted (no more than . inch), let them finish draining and store in the fridge or get cooking!

This process works great for beans, nuts, and other seeds (quinoa, amaranth, etc.).

Which brings us to the last similarity among traditional cultures: the consumption of lacto-fermented foods.

This is HUGE.

Step 3: Fermentation

Fermentation of fruits, vegetables, grains, and other foods allowed these cultures to store food for months on end. This was especially useful during cold, hard winters, or other times when important foods would be out of season.

Additionally, the fermentation process helped to remove the vast MAJORITY of anti-nutrients in grains and legumes.

Soaking and sprouting are steps in the right direction, but for *full wellness* benefits, fermentation does the trick.

The process also creates a surrounding atmosphere that is flowing with beneficial bacteria, which is VITAL for our intestinal health.

Once it enters our system, it can help kill off bad, poisonous bacteria, while promoting the growth of more healthy bacteria.

This is in addition to the fact that properly fermented foods can:

Vitamins B, C and K2 are especially enhanced through fermentation

Some well-known fermented foods that we know and love these days have been around for hundreds of thousands of years:

Pickles (fermented cucumbers)

Sauerkraut (fermented cabbage)

Kimchi (fermented, spiced cabbage)

Kefir, Yogurt, and other Cultured Milk Products

Kombucha (tea)

Alcohol (Beer, Wine, Brandy, etc.)

Please practice moderation. No more than 1 drink per day, if you must.

Sourdough Bread

There is one problem to keep in mind, though.

If you buy these foods in their packaged, store-bought versions, you're in for trouble.

The vast majority of fermented foods these days are tainted, due to cheap chemicals used in the fermentation process (especially with sauerkraut, kimchi, and pickled foods).

Additionally, manufacturers are quick to add in sugar or other harmful ingredients to fermented foods like yogurt and sourdough bread.

To make matters worse, most of the fermented foods purchase these days are sold in cans or plastic containers.

It is a BIG mistake to eat these foods, since plastic can leech out into the food. In fermented foods that are stored in cans, up to 90% of the vitamin C content is destroyed. The canning process also damages many heat-sensitive food enzymes.

---> In other words, you want to avoid commercially prepared and/or canned versions of fermented foods, at all costs.

Rather, you can ferment foods yourself! So many possibilities!

The process is actually quite simple (though it takes some practice to get it right, without spoiling the food).

I'll start you off with a simple recipe:

(Note: This recipe is from the outstanding book, Nourishing Traditions, by Sally Fallon)

Pickled Cucumbers

Ingredients:

4-5 pickling cucumbers or 15-20 gherkins

1 tablespoon mustard seeds

2 tablespoons fresh dill, snipped

1 tablespoon sea salt

4 tablespoons homemade whey (if not available, use an additional 1 tablespoon salt)

1 cup filtered water

Steps:

1. Wash cucumbers well and place in a quart-sized wide mouth jar.

2. Combine remaining ingredients and pour over cucumbers, adding more water if necessary to cover the cucumbers. The top of the liquid should be at least 1 inch below the top of the jar.

3. Cover tightly and keep and keep at room temperature for about 3 days before transferring to cold storage.

Lacto-fermentation is an anaerobic process (without oxygen), so make sure the container you use is airtight (quart-sized mason jars are great for this).

If oxygen gets in during the fermentation process, the final product will be ruined.

Cool? Cool.

Quick recap:

Today you've learned 3 of the most important things traditional cultures did to prepare and preserve their foods....soaking, sprouting, and fermenting.

These "smarty-pants" cultures intuitively (or through massive trial/error) knew how to enhance digestibility, remove anti-nutrients, boost the immune system, and improve gut health and inflammation....all with a few simple tweaks to food.

Use these tips in your kitchen today, and you just might be surprised by how great you start feeling!

 Interested in losing weight? Then click below to see the exact steps I took to lose weight and keep it off for good...

Read the previous article about "The Inflammation-Reducing, Immune-Fortifying Secret of All Long-Living Cultures (This 3-Step Process Can Reduce Chronic Pain and Heal Your Gut in Less Than 24 Hours)"

Read the next article about "The Great Soy Myth (and The Truth About Soy in Eastern Asia)"

Moving forward, there are several other articles/topics I'll share so you can lose weight even faster, and feel great doing it.

Below is a list of these topics and you can use this Table of Contents to jump to the part that interests you the most.

Topic 1: How I Lost 30 Pounds In 90 Days - And How You Can Too

Topic 2: How I Lost Weight By Not Following The Mainstream Media And Health Guru's Advice - Why The Health Industry Is Broken And How We Can Fix It

Topic 3: The #1 Ridiculous Diet Myth Pushed By 95% Of Doctors And "experts" That Is Keeping You From The Body Of Your Dreams

Topic 4: The Dangers of Low-Carb and Other "No Calorie Counting" Diets

Topic 5: Why Red Meat May Be Good For You And Eggs Won't Kill You

Topic 6: Two Critical Hormones That Are Quietly Making Americans Sicker and Heavier Than Ever Before

Topic 7: Everything Popular Is Wrong: The Real Key To Long-Term Weight Loss

Topic 8: Why That New Miracle Diet Isn't So Much of a Miracle After All (And Why You're Guaranteed To Hate Yourself On It Sooner or Later)

Topic 9: A Nutrition Crash Course To Build A Healthy Body and Happy Mind

Topic 10: How Much You Really Need To Eat For Steady Fat Loss (The Truth About Calories and Macronutrients)

Topic 11: The Easy Way To Determining Your Calorie Intake

Topic 12: Calculating A Weight Loss Deficit

Topic 13: How To Determine Your Optimal "Macros" (And How The Skinny On The 3-Phase Extreme Fat Loss Formula)

Topic 14: Two Dangerous "Invisible Thorn" Foods Masquerading as "Heart Healthy Super Nutrients"

Topic 15: The Truth About Whole Grains And Beans: What Traditional Cultures Know About These So-called "Healthy Foods" That Most Americans Don't

Topic 16: The Inflammation-Reducing, Immune-Fortifying Secret of All Long-Living Cultures (This 3-Step Process Can Reduce Chronic Pain and Heal Your Gut in Less Than 24 Hours)

Topic 17: The Foolproof Immune-enhancing Plan That Cleanses And Purifies Your Body, While "patching Up" Holes, Gaps, And Inefficiencies In Your Digestive System (And How To Do It Without Wasting $10+ Per "meal" On Ridiculous Juice Cleanses)

Topic 18: The Great Soy Myth (and The Truth About Soy in Eastern Asia)

Topic 19: How Chemicals In Food Make Us Fat (Plus 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply)

Topic 20: 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply

Topic 21: How To Protect Yourself Against Chronic Inflammation (What Time Magazine Calls A "Secret Killer")

Topic 22: The Truth About Buying Organic: Secrets The Health Food Industry Doesn't Want You To Know

Topic 23: Choosing High Quality Foods

Topic 24: A Recipe For Rapid Aging: The "Hidden" Compounds Stealing Your Youth, Minute by Minute

Topic 25: 7 Steps To Reduce AGEs and Slow Aging

Topic 26: The 10-second Trick That Can Slash Your Risk Of Cardiovascular Mortality By 37% (Most Traditional Cultures Have Done This For Centuries, But The Pharmaceutical Industry Would Be Up In Arms If More Modern-day Americans Knew About It)

Topic 27: How To Clean Up Your Liver and Vital Organs

Topic 28: The Simple Detox 'Cheat Sheet': How To Easily and Properly Cleanse, Nourish, and Rid Your Body of Dangerous Toxins (and Build a Lean Well-Oiled "Machine" in the Process)

Topic 29: How To Deal With the "Stress Hormone" Before It Deals With You

Topic 30: 7 Common Sense Ways to Have Uncommon Peace of Mind (or How To Stop Your "Stress Hormone" In Its Tracks)

Topic 31: How To Sleep Like A Baby (And Wake Up Feeling Like A Boss)

Topic 32: The 8-step Formula That Finally "fixes" Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested (If You Ever Find Yourself Hitting The Snooze Every Morning Or Dozing Off At Work, These Steps Will Change Your Life Forever)

Topic 33: For Even Better Leg Up And/or See Faster Results In Fixing Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested, Do The Following:

Topic 34: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 35: Part 1 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 36: Part 2 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 37: Part 3 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 38: Part 4 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 39: How To Beat Your Mental Roadblocks And Why It Can Be The Difference Between A Happy, Satisfying Life And A Sad, Fearful Existence (These Strategies Will Reduce Stress, Increase Productivity And Show You How To Fulfill All Your Dreams)

Topic 40: Maximum Fat Loss in Minimum Time: The Body Type Solution To Quick, Lasting Results

Topic 41: If You Want Maximum Results In Minimum Time You're Going To Have To Work Out (And Workout Hard, At That)

Topic 42: Food Planning For Maximum Fat Loss In Minimum Time

Topic 43: How To Lose Weight Fast If You're in Chronic Pain

Topic 44: Nutrition Basics for Fast Pain Relief (and Weight Loss)

Topic 45: How To Track Results (And Not Fall Into the Trap That Ruins 95% of Well-Thought Out Diets)

Topic 46: Advanced Fat Loss - Calorie Cycling, Carb Cycling and Intermittent Fasting

Topic 47: Advanced Fat Loss - Part I: Calorie Cycling

Topic 48: Advanced Fat Loss - Part II: Carb Cycling

Topic 49: Advanced Fat Loss - Part III: Intermittent Fasting

Topic 50: Putting It All Together

Learn more by visiting our website here: invigoratenow.com

[hamkeepsnotes]

In The After - pt 5

Fic Summary: Recovery is perhaps the hardest part of war. (A series of one shots about the aftermath of the Second Wizarding War and what it means to get better.)

Chapter Summary: It’s Harry’s birthday and Ginny just wants to make things perfect for him.

Characters: Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, a myriad of others

Word Count: 2367

also on ao3

Ginny Weasley (July 31, 1998)

Ginny hipchecked Hermione as she slipped past her in the kitchen of the Burrow. The bowl in her arms tilted dangerously, and Hermione quickly grabbed it, setting it on the counter beside her.

“Really, Gin, calm down,” she said carefully, wiping chocolate cake batter off of Ginny’s cheek. Ginny glared at her, ducking under her arm to grab the bowl again begin pouring it into a pan.

“This is the first year that Harry can have a good birthday, ‘Mione,” she said, aggressively scraping cake batter off of the sides of the bowl. Her pale, freckled hands shook around the spatula. “It has to be perfect.”

Hermione frowned, taking a step closer and pulling the bowl out of Ginny’s arms. She took over pouring it into the bowl with practiced ease. “Is this really about making it perfect for Harry, or is it about something else?” she asked carefully.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ginny snapped back, crossing her arms over her chest. She avoided her friend’s concerned look, shoving down the wild panic filling her throat. She needed to do this for Harry, for the hollow look in her parents’ eyes and the pained look in her brothers’ faces. They needed to smile. The only way to make them smile was to make this perfect.

The sound of Hermione setting the kitchen timer snapped her out of her daze, and she watched the older girl wipe down the counter, which Ginny had turned into an utter mess. “Stop that,” she said, tossing the towel into the basket in the corner of the kitchen. “You’re panicking. It’s three in the morning - you go to bed, I’ll finish baking the cake and pull it out to cool. We can ice it when you wake up.”

“No, I’m fine,” Ginny said, shaking her head. She wasn’t tired, far too wired to sleep. Another frown edged its way onto Hermione’s face, but she soon let out a large yawn. “Go to bed, ‘Mione.”

The older girl tried to argue, but another yawn cut her off. Ginny pushed her towards the stairs and she stumbled up them tiredly, heading, more than likely, for Ron’s attic bedroom. Once she was certain Hermione was really going to bed, she turned back to the kitchen, pulling her wand from where she’d stashed it in the side of her tall socks, hopping up onto the counter as she waved it to start the ice cream maker that she’d helped her father repair a few years before. The mixture she’d prepared earlier flew from the icebox and into the maker, and salt dumped itself into the frozen sides. A small yawn escaped her lips as the loud mixing began.

She cast a silencing charm on the ice cream maker so it wouldn’t wake her family and flicked her wand once more to make the radio turn on. It was quiet, playing a Weird Sisters song that was a good four years old but the familiar notes made some of the tension leave her broad shoulders.

“Groove around like a scary ghost, spooking himself the most,” Ginny sung along softly, kicking her socked feet in time to the music. It had been a long time since she’d just listened to the band that had once been her favorite and actually heard what was happening. The song was silly, but maybe she could use a little silly.

It seemed like no time had passed, but soon enough, the timer went off. She slid off of the counter and turned the timer off, pulling the cakes from the oven to cool. The gentle warmth through the cloth of her potholders kept her from thinking about the reason for the cake, the urgency she’d felt just an hour before subsiding.

“Is this for me?”

Ginny whipped around, nearly hitting Harry in the face with her thick, red braid. Harry chuckled, holding up his dark hands in surrender. “That thing is a weapon,” he smirked. Ginny stuck her tongue out.

“It was an accident,” she complained, grabbing the thawed butter she’d left on the counter. She had to stand on her tiptoes to pull the powdered sugar out of the cupboard where her mother kept it safely out of reach of her brothers. She silently wondered how the woman ever got it down for herself. “Grab the cocoa for me, please,” she added, waving her hand towards the pantry.

The panic was back, the same urgency to make this as perfect as possible, and she nearly spilled the powdered sugar as she measured it out. Her hands were shaking despite the conscious effort she made to hide it. Harry’s hands covered her own, steadying her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly, turning her around before she could protest. Ginny avoided his gaze, taking a shuddering breath. She didn’t know why her heart was pounding in her chest and her breathing shook, why she felt the urge to scream. Harry tilted her head up and pressed his forehead to hers. His breath tickled her cheeks, and she tried to match them.

“It has to be perfect,” she said finally, closing her eyes. “I need it to be perfect.”

Harry’s hands slid from her shoulders and down her arms until he caught her hands, threading his fingers through her own. “Why does it need to be perfect?” he asked quietly, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on the backs of her hands.

“Everything is wrong,” she admitted. “The house is so full, but it’s empty, and it’s over but we’re still sad, and I just need everyone to smile. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t take everyone moping anymore, and the only way to fix it is to give you the perfect birthday. You deserve the perfect birthday after everything.”

Harry pulled back from her forehead just enough to nod. “I understand,” he said carefully, pressing a small kiss to the top of her head. “But no matter what you do, it’ll be perfect. To me, anyway.”

“Promise?” Ginny hated how weak her voice sounded, even though she knew Harry wouldn’t judge her.

“I promise,” he agreed. “Now what are we doing?”

Ginny shoved him away with a laugh, shooing him towards the table. “You’re not doing anything,” she said firmly. “I’m going to make you a cake and you’re going to keep me company and not peek.” She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and danced away as he tried to grab her around the waist for more. A small laugh escaped her lips despite the panic that she was still pushing to the back of her mind.

She returned to measuring out the powdered sugar, and dumping it in with the butter. She mumbled a spell as she flipped her wand at the bowl, watching a whisk whip them together for a moment before she stopped it.

Harry hummed in interest. “You know, muggles have a machine that does that,” he said, propping his chin in his hand. “I could make your life so much easier if we got a flat together.”

Butterflies filled Ginny’s stomach at the thought, but she shoved them to the side, measuring out the cocoa powder, vanilla, and cream. “I look forward to it,” she said, throwing a smirk over her shoulder. She muttered the spell again and the whisk began to whip the ingredients into a frosting.

She leaned back on the table and poked Harry’s calf with her toes. “Hey, hey, happy birthday,” she said with a small smile. Harry flashed her a white-toothed grin.

“I’ll never get used to hearing that,” he admitted, scratching at the back of his neck.

“You better,” she said seriously. “I plan on being at all of them.” The red color that spread across Harry’s cheeks warmed her heart.

Getting the cake ready went quickly with Harry to keep her company. It seemed like only a few minutes before she was covering the cake up and putting a cooling spell on it, sure that fitting it in the icebox would be too much work. It wasn’t until she glanced at Harry’s watch that Ginny realized it was almost seven in the morning, and she hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep.

She rubbed at her eyes tiredly, and Harry frowned. “Do you need to go to sleep?” he asked, taking her elbow to guide her to the couch. Ginny collapsed onto it, dragging Harry down beside her, and curled into his side.

“I’m not tired,” she lied, reaching out to turn on the radio and flipping to PotterWatch. Despite the end of the war, PotterWatch remained a staple in many homes. It seemed that Lee had found his calling, running his radio station, which was slowly getting more and more popular.

At some point, the sounds of a small Wizarding band, Green Light, put Ginny to sleep. She must have been really out, because she didn’t even hear her family waking up, and managed to sleep through both breakfast and lunch. She didn’t wake up until Ron carefully shook her awake, his face obnoxiously close to her own.

“Gin, come on,” he whispered, the smell of her breath filling her nose. “The party’s gonna start soon, and ‘Mione and I can only hold Harry off for a few more minutes before he’ll catch onto us. You’ve got to change.”

Ginny sat bolt upright, her head nearly cracking against Ron’s in the process. She shoved her brother out of the way, ignoring the concern in his blue eyes, and hurried out of the living room, running up the stairs two at a time to her bedroom.

She threw off her comfy t-shirt and worn out jeans, trading them for an outfit she’d picked out the day before. Her hair came out of the braid and she tossed it into a high ponytail, yanking on some boots that Hermione had bought her at a muggle mall for her fifteenth birthday, and pounded back down the stairs.

At some point, someone had coaxed Harry into a nicer shirt and Hermione was attempting to comb his hair flat. He heard Ginny coming and brushed his friend off, holding out his arms to pull her close. “What are you planning?” he asked with a grin.

Ginny fluttered her lashes innocently. “You’ll see,” she replied, pulling him into the backyard.

Charlie, Bill, and her father had brought the table into the yard, summoning more tables to line the grass. The cake was hidden in its container on the longest table, which was filled to the groaning with food that she, Hermione, and her mother had spent days making when Harry wouldn’t notice. The fairy lights that someone had strung in the bushes really made it look magical.

The concern ebbed away at the look of the yard. Someone had dragged George out of his room, and the man was tucked into a chair in the corner with a sad smile on his face. Percy was helping Charlie tie balloons to the mailbox as Bill and Fleur set up a pathway of balloons from the road and around the house. Her parents were nowhere to be seen, so Ginny imagined they were getting ready upstairs.

“Surprise?” she said, turning to grin sheepishly at Harry. His green eyes were wide as he stared around the yard, a gentle breeze ruffling his dark hair.

“This is perfect,” he said softly. “I don’t know what you were worried about.”

Ginny shrugged, lifting a hand to wave as Luna appeared over the top of the hill. “That remains to be seen,” she said. She watched as Luna swung a bagged present easily, half-skipping up the path. She paused to say something to Percy, and Ginny was astonished to see him laugh. She couldn’t remember the last time the man had smiled, let alone laughed. Maybe a party was just what everyone needed.

Soon the yard was filled with guests. Ginny had managed to wrangle nearly everyone Harry knew, from Professor McGonagall and Kingsley to the Patil twins and most of the rest of Dumbledore’s Army. She’d caught Neville’s arm and tipped a box full of candy and a book on American herbology into his arm hands when he arrived, wishing him a quiet happy birthday, to his surprise.

Hermione waved her over to unveil the cake, and Ginny quickly crossed the yard from where she’d been discussing quidditch with Oliver Wood. Her mind was racing with what Wood had said about her quidditch skills, how if she wanted, after finishing school, she could easily swing a spot on a professional team. The thought had filled her with an excitement she almost didn’t recognize.

She was focused on the cake and on what Wood had said, and nearly missed George talking quietly to Lee Jordan under the tree in the corner of the yard. Ginny paused, craning her neck to eavesdrop. She couldn’t quite hear what they were saying from where she was standing, but she could see them decently enough.

Lee said something, and George smiled gently, something that made Ginny nearly fall over in shock. He ducked his head, and Lee ruffled his hair and grinned. George’s cheeks turned a bright red, and he moved away.

Seeing her brother happy again made Ginny’s heart fill with warmth. He deserved it after what had happened. For that matter, all of her brothers were smiling widely, immersed in conversations across the yard. Harry was holding Teddy Lupin, who was playing with his face delightedly, and the pair were laughing up a storm.

Her heart filled with something she hadn’t experienced in over a year, since before the war and the fighting. Probably even longer, since she was fourteen and learning how to fight from Harry, and Sirius and Tonks and Lupin and Fred were still alive, when she was vaguely cognizant that they were fighting a war but it still didn’t seem real. It was a feeling of freedom, of joy, a feeling that lifted all the pain away for a moment and let a real, wide grin cross her face.

Maybe things were still a little imperfect, but it would be okay someday.