#friend was like 'lets play a game where i give you a piece of media and you write a fic about it based on vibes and character designs alone

[squishosaur]

i hear youre a treyjade enjoyer, do you have any headcanons with them or how they got together? :0

yeah ummm.... a few :lookingaway:

♡ - i'd like to think that jade has always looked up to and respected trey, but when he realized "oh, this guy is not as normal as he says he is" he is just infatuated and needs to study him. like a freak.

☆ - i think trey is someone who sees the best in people. like, he could be seeing the scary parts of jade, he just finds him silly and interesting though. riddle is distressed like, "you DO NOT want that guy." but trey is like "i could fix him" when jade is Actively trying to make him worse.

♡ - jade definitely fell first, but that doesn't mean trey didn't Also fall fast. trey was sort of interested in him, and jade instantly picked up on this and started toying with him. anything from offhanded comments about how nice he looks or how polite he is to just straight up "i heard you were interested in dentistry. can you look at my teeth" and then he does Not wait for an answer. trey is conflicted about this!!! floyd and azul are so disturbed at jade just opening his mouth like that in public.

☆ - trey has a horrible sense of humor. jade also has a horrible sense of humor and will laugh at any of his godawful jokes or puns. (have you seen the shrimp flied rice comic)

♡ - as for how they got together, trey would probably confide in cater about his crush (and he is Absolutely eating this up btw it's so funny to him) and he's like "oh dw trey-kun, i'll be your wingman kk??" and trey is like "oh my god no.." but it's too late.

☆ - with cater on the case, he is like. coaching him on what to say and what to do. "sit with him at lunch, compliment him, get to know him better, walk him back to his dorm, Ask Him Out OMG WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG..." and trey somehow fails at all of these things but this is amusing to jade. "your eyes are like... um. leucoprinus birnbaumii and. tilled soil?" "aw, are you flirting with me?"

♡ - azul also gets wind of this information also and is like "i can tell you any amount of information on jade's interests right now if you become the dessert chef for the mostro lounge exclusively- sign here." trey said no, but azul is still pushing. so now trey has like the shoulder angel and devil thing going on with azul and cater... but they're both devils.

♡ - in the meantime, they're Not Dating, but jade keeps asking trey to spend time with him. "i was just about to check on the mushrooms i've been growing, would you like to accompany me?" "if you aren't busy this weekend, i was wondering if you could join me on my next hike. it's just so lonely on the mountains by myself... camping would be so much more fun with friends..." trey says yes because his internal monologue is like "how could i possibly say no..." (riddle is shaking his head defeatedly, like, "just come back alive").

☆ - trey is about to just Give Up at the end of his third year, since they won't be on the same campus or anything anymore, but suddenly jade is like "can we exchange contact information, i think i'll miss you the most.." and so they do that. And are Not Dating Still.

♡ - during his off-campus year, trey studies dentistry and also spends a lot of time messaging jade and when they're both free they arrange meet-ups. cater is still trying to wingman over the phone and trey is like "no, we're still just talking..." and At The Same Time floyd keeps asking jade when he's gonna break up with that guy and jade is like "oh, but we haven't even started dating yet."

☆ - after trey is done with his studies at NRC, he decides to spend a year back at home with his family. as luck would have it, jade is spending his 4th year in the queendom of roses to study mycology (and a little bit of anthropology also, but mostly the mushrooms, molds, and yeast interests him). and he reasons "what better place to study yeast than a bakery!" trey feels absolutely insane when he asks his parents to let jade stay with them for a year. but they say yes because they as just so nice ("as long as he helps in the bakery" was also a condition).

♡ - they were not expecting a merman though and are quite shocked by the very tall eel with razors for teeth politely introducing himself one day. trey's siblings like him though! they ask him all about the ocean and his studies and nrc and even just about what trey was like at school (trey keeps shutting this specific topic down). jade helps with cooking and cleaning around the house and mr. and mrs. clover both appreciate him for it.

☆ - at some point, the two stay up really late together (they're both studying) and trey just finally blurts out that he likes him. jade just goes "i know." with a smile and asks him out. trey is shocked because he had waited Forever to ask it but its too late now. he laughs it off and says yes. they kiss (followed by jade quipping that it was not customary to kiss on the first date, to which trey responds that is was Hardly their first date and jade goes "touché")

♡ - you would think i would end this here because you asked about how they got together but i can't because i havs not gotten to the part where trey 1) actually comes out to his parents and 2) tells them that he's going out with jade

☆ - but anyways, yes, he comes out to his parents and they accept him for who he is. his mom also mentions that she assumed that he and jade were Already dating and he just wasn't ready to tell them yet. trey vehemently denies this and jade is just laughing. trey also texts cater and cater replies saying "tell jade i said i'm so happy for him and his ugly fking bf i'm serious /ref <3333" he also tells riddle who Actually says something positive. jade tells floyd and azul, who reply "can you divorce him yet" and "congrats! is he willing to work for me now" respectively (they really all are happy for them btw)

♡ - they do go on dates mostly outside on walks or hikes when they have time to spare. trey talks about the history of the area and jade identifies different organisms and infodumps about them as trey listens intently. if they see the same thing again, jade will say its name and trey will recall something jade said about it before, which makes jade happy.

☆ - neither is big on pda (unless they get jealous, which is infrequent), but they will hold hands when they're alone. they both tend to go more with acts of service and just quality time with one another, so generally they will do things like cook for the other or engage in activities that the other likes.

♡ - they do visit the coral sea, but it's more of an annual trip. usually, if jade wants to see azul or floyd, it's on land because azul's franchise is on land.

☆ - unfortunately i could continue for forever but i will not yw <333

[feverdreamjohnny]

The Epitaph of Anything Goes

I decided that this morning I would talk about The Museum of Anything Goes and the subject of lost media.

For the uninitiated, The Museum of Anything Goes is an obscure "game" released in 1995 by Wayzata Technologies, a company that is so far under the radar that I was unable to find any useful information about it outside of TMoAG.

All I could uncover is that they published a few multimedia projects (which are essentially lost now) alongside some asset discs (clipart, SFX, etc.). That's it.

The brains behind Wayzata are even more difficult to locate these days: there are only two main names credited inside of TMoAG - Michael Markowski and Maxwell S. Robertson.

The game alleges that Michael and Maxwell are well known in the art world, but any additional information about the duo is scarce beyond the confines of the museum. Attempting to search for either name online turns up plenty of rabbit holes - but none of them have anything to do with the Michael and Maxwell responsible for TMoAG.

This is particularly fascinating because it essentially means that TMoAG is the only accessible record of their lives. Before we dig any deeper into that statement, let me step back and actually address what this game is.

The Museum of Anything Goes is, by definition, a virtual art museum. Functionally it's a prerendered point-and-click adventure game where you can explore a bunch of multimedia exhibits that give the surface-level impression of a children's edutainment game, but once you start exploring further it reveals a side that firmly plants the game's feet into a haze of substance abuse and surreal humor.

Many exhibits are essentially just toying around with the astonishing new powers of CD-ROM. Everything has to make noise. Everything has to spin and flitter around. There's an air of genuine excitement for the medium, and I can't help but find it extremely charming.

The game also functions as a scrapbook, filled to the brim with photos of random trips to the zoo and snow-mobile rides with friends. At one point we even get insight into something as specific as Michael's one-year job as a tutor at a Chicago middle school, where he talks about how it opened his eyes to how poorly funded and mismanaged the school system is.

It's simultaneously quaint and chilling to see so much personal history packed into a world doomed to obscurity. As I explore the deeper parts of the museum, I contemplate if the creators are still alive today. It's a bit morbid, but imagine that - you create a single obscure game with your friend and it's all the world can see. TMoAG is currently the only surviving piece that gives any insight into who these two men were.

While many exhibits are lighthearted or nonsensical, there are occasional moments where the game dips into the eerie.

One exhibit has the player kill a man by dropping him from the sky, and after burying him you open the coffin to a video of a rotting pig carcass being put into an incinerator.

Other exhibits just feature simple 3D renders shifting around a dark screen while haunting groans play in the background.

While I would never refer to the game as "scary," its darker moments combined with the occasional mature subject matter definitely begs the question: Who is this game for?

You have to remember that this game came out long before the concept of "alt-games" had become codified in the digital space. Sure, unconventional digital art had been around before the advent of 256 colors, but TMoAG was being sold on disk as a game! It came out 2 years after DOOM hit shelves!

The trend of using the PC for entertainment was certainly on the upswing around that time, but It's not like TMoAG had a massive audience to find a niche in. With its mature themes it certainly wasn't suited for the kids market either, so who was it for?

At the end of the day, it's a moot question. We already know the target audience for The Museum of Anything Goes: Nobody. It doesn't have an audience because by its nature, TMoAG wasn't being made FOR someone, it was being made BY someone. It's a raw, unfiltered form of personal expression.

I think games like these are pivotal, because they question why people assume a game has to exist for the sake of being a consumable product. TMoAG certainly has the shape of a product: it features an intro cutscene, it has a tutorial, it features intuitive UX, it even has a map! These are all features that are solely integrated to provide comfort to an end-user. But once you actually wander around the museum for a bit, you realize how bizarrely its packaging fits its contents.

I think TMoAG is criminally underrated. It's not because its core content contains some earth-shaking truth, it's because the game defied all odds and cheated death.

How many thousands of other personal projects were deemed a little "too exotic" to be archived? How much history was lost these past 40 years as the digital space evolved and ate its old skin?

God knows how many other TMoAGs we'll never learn about because they weren't lucky enough to be preserved.

The Museum of Anything Goes isn't just some nonsensical art piece, it's a grave marker for so much lost media. Its existence is a reminder that some people's lives were fossilized, then macerated into nothing because a construction company built a skyscraper over them. The only evidence we have of those other games existing is this little fossil that somehow slipped out from under the skyscraper unscathed.

Even though so much has been lost, TMoAG survives as an epitaph.

[pinkyqil]

Begging' On your knees

Summary: mapi had been going out with one of the player's until she randomly just ghosted and broke up with her over text with no explanation whatsoever.

Warning: none and let's not forget everything is fictional !

Basically a mapi x Ingrid x r oc kinda fic,inspired by the song begging on your knees song from victorious.because I recently just restarted it and the song got my attention and i haven't stopped making scenario so here we are with me writing this fic.

You and mapi had been going out together for a while now. especially with you getting called up for the team this season.meaning you both could practice and spend more time together. But recently you've noticed she gotten distant with you but didn't think much of it.

Until she she texted you out of nowhere wanting to break up no explanation or reasoning. You've never felt confused and heartbroken like that before especially when the near end of your season came.

At practice you'd both ignore each other unless you were paired up together for practices game or at matches.

where you'd both need to communicate otherwise no words would be uttered to another. Not until a fellow teammate Lucy had mentioned something.

about new transfers joining in the team . you had no worries cause you've already renewed your contract with the team.

for another two years which was yet to be announced . Nobody really knew about you and mapi. Cause most of the time you and mapi would always flirt and touch each other consensual.

Has spanish people are very affectionate with one another. So no one really thought about it.

but it did go noticed by a few teammates how you both had suddenly stopped interacting that much. Which they planned a get together for the whole team to bound and everything.

sadly you hadn't been able to attend due to your break and you booking a flight to spend time with a few friends from england and to focus more on yourself.

You hadn't been really on social media that much , only on there to post photos dumps of your trip or doing mini tiktoks with friends.

So you don't really know what going on between your teammates back at spain.

but you didn't bear anything in mind and just enjoyed your vacation .

Until that had recently come to an end and it was time for you too get back to spain. You had recently joined back to regular training with the team. it hadn't been a surprise has your renewal was already announced.

You'd already get along with everyone and the new comers getting to know each other and doing small talk. It hadn't been until you'll notice mapi talking to a browned hair girl with light blue eyes .

You've heard that they started talking a while back and recently became official. Angry couldn't even describe what you were feeling, begin able to match the pieces together which was able to explain the distance between you and mapi .and how your relationship went downfall.

It all made sense, you felt hurt betrayed and most definitely used like a recycling bin. If your day couldn't go any worse after crying in the bathroom.

pretending you were okay. Alexia and Irene had planned a get together at a karaoke club bar for all you women.

to get along and know each other and too have fun in general has the team would be having a busy and long week. You couldn't decline the invite.

But had a very tempting idea to get back at mapi. At the karaoke bar everyone was having fun, drinking, dancing and much more. Lucy had spotted you having begin the one to notice the distance between you and mapi

; you've been staring at both of them for a while now said lucy ; you just looked at her and back at them without giving her a reply and just moved up to the stage choosing a song and grabbing the mic.

You had it all

The day you told me, told me you want me

I had it all

But let you fool me, fool me completely

Yeah, I was so stupid

To give you all my attention

'Cause the way you played me' *you said while pointing at mapi *

Exposed your true intentions

And one day

I'll have you begging on your knees for me

Yeah, one day

I'll have you crawling like a centipede

You messed with me' (pointing at yourself)

And messed with her (pointing at Ingrid )

So I'll make sure you get what you deserve

Yeah, one day

You'll be begging on your knees for me

So, watch your back *you get down the stage )

'Cause you don't know when or where I could get you

I've set the trap

And when I'm done, then you'll know what I've been through

So, oh, "Ms. Player"

Do you feel like the man now?

And I bet you're nervous

'Cause this song makes you freak out

And one day

I'll have you begging on your knees for me

Yeah, one day

I'll have you crawling like a centipede

You messed with me

And messed with her ( you said while grabbing Ingrid by her arm and placing it around your shoulder while pointing at her *)

So I'll make sure you get what you deserve

Yeah, one day

You'll be begging on your knees for me

I know I'm being bitter

But I'mma drag you under

'Cause you just don't, don't deserve happy ever after

For what you did to me

After you told me you'd never felt that way

It was only just a game

And one day

And one day

I'll have you begging on your knees for me (begging on your knees for me)

Yeah, one day

Yeah, one day

I'll have you crawling like a centipede (crawling like a centipede)

You messed with me

And messed with her

So I'll make sure you get what you deserve

You'll be begging on your knees for me

You finished by setting the mic down and ; yelling I'll fucking get you back léon;

joining the rest of the girls by dancing and continuing your night drinking and having fun.

While mapi had the look of shock trying to process everything or to get words out of her mouth.

Her friend group around her just gave out a look of disappointment while most of them just laughed at the look of horror she has on her face.

A/n : finally wrote something after not writing for a few months now 😀 I'm happy with how this turned out a lil bit , if you have any ideas for a p2 feel free to share it also wrote this in one sitting so they might be mistakes and of course I'm always happy to get feedbacks .

[bulbagarden]

Opinion: Scarlet and Violet are Pokémon's Queerest Games Yet (Bulbanews)

Hi it's Lisia here!! The following is an opinion piece from one of our staff members, Torchic W. Pip!! Blanc and I both loved this and like... we had to share it here LOL.

Pokémon was my queer awakening. I had silly little crushes on male and female characters alike, and I resonated with many of the designs of the series’s more gender nonconforming designs. Pokémon has always had a wink and a nod to queerness: Jessie and James’s genderbending antics, Beauty Nova in X and Y, Blanche from Pokémon GO… the list goes on. But with Scarlet and Violet, queerness shines bright as celestial stars.

“But wait!” you might say. “Scarlet and Violet has no canonical gay or trans characters! How can this thesis make sense?” Well, queer representation need not be explicit to be impactful. Sometimes, the stories queer people resonate with most are told through metaphor, from the misfits in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer to X-Men to Luca and Gwen Stacy. The roots of this trace back to a history of censorship. LGBTQ+ stories have been historically censored, such as with the Hays Code. Queer people have long been unable to see stories with explicitly queer characters, so they instead turned to metaphors and symbolism. Gender nonconformity is also nothing new to the scene of video games. Metroid, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy, and Guilty Gear are just some of the games that play with our expectations of gender. It’s also nothing new to Pokémon. East Asian media tends to depict transness and gender nonconformity differently from the West, but for more on that, I'll direct you to this video.

Even before the release of Scarlet and Violet, gender nonconformity shined through. Take a character like Grusha, for example, who many mistook for a girl when he was first introduced. It goes a little deeper than that, though. “Grusha” is Russian for “pear”, but it’s also a diminutive for the name “Agrafena”... a female Russian name. Whether or not it was intentional, it does add an extra layer of nonconformity to Grusha. Another character with some queercoded elements is Iono: Her color palette evokes the colours of the trans flag, and her Magnemite headpieces evoke an explicitly genderless Pokémon. Baggy clothes are common among many transgender people. Her friend Bellibolt is a frog, and many frogs in real life can change their sex. In Japanese, she speaks with a Bokukko speech pattern (a girl using the masculine “boku”), which is often used for plucky characters, but also nonconforming characters. All of Iono’s names across translations evoke themes of questions. On top of all that… well, the Vtubing scene is, from personal experience, very queer. All of my friends who watch VTubers are queer in some way. More seriously, creating a persona where you can let your true self shine in a way that regular society won't allow you to... that's pretty queer.

With the release of the games, we’ve seen a wide array of characters—Rika, Saguaro, Penny, and all of the leaders of Team Star, among others—showcase a wide range of gender expressions, either in their appearances, their personalities, or their hobbies. And all of these characters are seen as heroes, as role models.

As with games before, there are two characters with queer subtext in their relationship. Hassel and Brassius have been seen by many as being in a gay relationship, bonding over a love of art, supporting each other in dark times, and giving each other pet names. Even if it's not outright stated that they're in a romantic relationship, their care for each other is a beautiful thing. Many gay coded relationships are often of younger men or women, and while these relationships are important, it's also important for older gay couples to receive some of the spotlight. After all, queer people have always existed, and it's important to remember our past and honor those who came before us, who helped paved the path to acceptance.

For the first time in a mainline game, the player character can choose any clothes, hair style, and so on regardless of gender. While the player can still only choose between being referred to by masculine or feminine terms, this is a step in the right direction, and it opens the door for many opportunities never seen before. Boys can be feminine, girls can be masculine, and both can be anywhere in between. The world of gender expression is as big as the open world of Paldea.

But back to Team Star. The whole Team Star path is one big, queer metaphor. Think about it: kids are bullied for how they dress or act, these misfits band together and retaliate against their bullies, finding a sort of family in each other, villains who turn out to be just the opposite… It’s a story that, in some way or form, can resonate with many kids who have, sadly, dealt with homophobia or transphobia in school. The path is a story about righting what’s wrong, about making the world a more accepting place.

Scarlet and Violet is a game about shining bright in the sky with other stars, about being your true self. Its themes are deeply resonant with the queer experience. At the end of the Team Star path, you battle Penny, whose ace Pokémon is trans flag-coloured Sylveon, and as she Terastilizes her partner, she says, “Shine bright like the starry sky and become who you really want to be!” So shine bright, trainers, and be your true self.

Oh, and of course, Quaquaval is the queer icon of all time.

[Torchic W. Pip is a Bulbanews writer with a focus on music, merchandise, and spin-off games. They're also a fanfiction author and moderator of the Writer's Workshop subforum. Outside of writing, Torchic is studying music theory and linguistics, and his favorite games are X/Y and Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire.]

[lettersofgold]

-> unthinkable | chapter two | jules k.

genre: angst, fluff, smut | authors note: no words for how much I love writing this fic and how much I love jules, enjoy xx | loosely proofed.

warnings: google translations, loosely proofed

summary: jules could never get it quite right. no girl gave him the feeling that he had with you. he wasn’t even sure he knew how to love a woman until you came into his life - even when he was dating around, his loyalty and heart were with you. you couldn’t find someone who stirred the feeling of love in you the way jules did, but he was just a friend and he wasn’t done playing the field. the two of you were giving each other the love you both never felt before and after fighting it for so long, you realized you both deserved it and you were finally ready.

Jules played his heart out. He struggled to think of a time in his life when he fought so hard in a match, mentally and physically, just to come out with nothing to show for it. He was depleted but still mustered up energy for fans waiting for him. He signed a few jerseys, took some photos, then headed back to the locker room to wash away the disappointment. The team was quiet except for the murmuring of the captains. His teammates trickled into the dressing room after completing their media obligations looking as solemn as he was. Jules took a long, deep breath and laid his head back in his locker and stared at nothing. He could not stop replaying the mistakes that cost them the match. He wanted to be angry but his team fought to the very end and that was all anyone could ask for. Jules felt guilty for letting the fans down and a part of him felt he let you down too. It was silly for him to genuinely want to do a stupid dance to see you smile but he wanted to make you being there worth it. It was surprising to see you in a Barca shirt, but it was even more surprising that you were cheering and laughing with a random man. He obviously was a friend or family of an employee of Barca but he had no clue who it could be. He loved seeing you cheer him on but the sight of you smiling and chatting with a man created a sour feeling that settled deep in his stomach. With the disappointment of the match, seeing you focused on someone else, and having to do a presser made him feel worse. Everything felt like utter, complete, shit. At the very least, he would be able to see and hug his friends. For that alone, he had something to look forward to after a nice hot shower.

The family area was crowded but Jules spotted Candace and Kaia immediately. Kaia was her usual, comforting self as she gave him a quick hug and words of encouragement.

“Jugaste bien, Jules. Te veías genial ahí fuera. Incluso Corey lo dijo.” (You played well, Jules. You looked great out there. Even Corey said so.)

Kaia praised Jules but all three of them knew it wasn’t enough to heal the wound created by the lackluster overall performance. The other team outplayed them, it was simple. It never failed to confuse him that his team could have all the pieces to win and look so good on paper yet continue to come up short. It was beginning to be a cycle they couldn’t break. Jules didn’t care that Candace was standing there with a tight face. He didn't pay much mind to Candace, which he found himself doing more and more as of late. She was hot and she was fun to be with but she couldn’t read the room as well as she thought. Candace kissed his cheek before wrapping herself around him for a tight hug.

“Can we take a photo?” Candace asked as she hugged him and Jules’ eye caught Kaia, who gave him a sympathetic look. She didn’t comfort him about the game, all she could think about was a photo.

“I’m not up for it right now, Candace”. He said in a low voice so no one could hear. Jules pulled away and she looked towards her feet, clearly disappointed. There was a lull of silence and Jules asked where you were, his voice neutral. He was so tired he just wanted to go home and sleep off all the losses but not without a proper goodbye to his best friend.

“I think she’s still inside the suite.” Kaia said, looking back towards the elevator. “She needs to hurry. I got an Uber.”

“I think she’s still talking to Davi.”

Davi, who is Davi? He thought. He racked his brain and there was no recollection of a man named Davi.

Candace could see the displeasure on his face and she decided to hammer the nail into the casket. She rarely found herself threatened by any woman. In fact, she liked you. What she didn’t like was Jules’ fondness for you. Yes, you two were friends, Jules made that very clear but it didn’t put out the fire created by the devil on her shoulder. She wanted Jules to herself and she thought that to be fair - they were dating…sort of. Candace knew she was the one going home with him. She was the one who was going to comfort him, love him, and sleep with him until he couldn’t think of any other woman but her. Candace was going to leave no room for questions when it came to your whereabouts so Jules knew where your priorities were - not with him and with another guy.

“They chatted the entire game.” She rasped, “She was sooo flirty.” She egged on with a tiny shimmy of her shoulders.

Candace’s eyes flickered over to Kaia who smiled softly. The woman pushed Kaia to answer to which she simply nodded in agreement before making a comment that it was only a matter of time until you return.

“I’m going to the ladies room in the meantime. I’ll be back.” Candace excused herself.

Kaia moved closer, filling the space left by Candace and as she watched Jules search the room for you, his efforts to be discreet were not effective. Kaia knew how much Jules cared for you, and that was without a doubt. However, standing there watching him search for you with downturned lips, she realized that Jules didn't just care for you as his best friend, but he yearned for your presence and attention. Kaia was amazed but also in disbelief. She knew that she needed to call her fiancé, Corey, as soon as she had some time alone and away from both of you.

“¿Estás bien?” She asked and Jules nodded but he didn’t turn to her. (Are you okay?).

“Por supuesto.” Jules questioned and finally turned to look at his friend. She had a grin tugging on her lips that she was failing to fight. “¿qué?” (Of course.) (What?)

Jules followed Kaia’s eyes and looked behind him to see you picking up your pace into a small jog to meet him with a hug. Jules breathed easier for a moment as he inhaled the familiar scent of perfume. You were giddy and if he wasn’t mistaken, you might have also been tipsy.

“Jules!” You started, your hands still gripping his arms even though you released him from the hug. Jules looked down at you then back up and behind you at the man, who he presumed to be Davi. Davi looked familiar but Jules was unable to put his finger on it.

“My voice is going to be gone when I go to work but this was worth it. You’ll get ‘em next time.” Even though people said the same thing in various ways, it sounded sincere coming from you. He took you in for a moment: the Barca shirt was form fitting and did wonders for your figure and your staple stacked gold necklaces were a perfect contrast against your skin. You looked so happy in his team colors and he knew he found a plus-one to each match Candace attended in the future.

“This is Davi,” you motioned for the man to come closer. You stepped away as Davi opened his hand and took Jules in for a dap-up and bro hug.

“Nice to meet you, man. Joáo told me about you before I came.”

“Joáo?” Jules repeated, becoming more confused about the situation.

“Davi is Joáo’s cousin.” “He’s my baby cousin.” The two of you spoke at the same time and you giggled. Jules knew you were tipsy by the way your glossy eyes found Davi’s - when you were with Jules you laughed with your whole body. Not a small, tiny giggle like the one you just did. Jules blinked slowly and turned his attention to Kaia, needing to focus on anything other than the obvious flirting that was happening in front of him. He didn’t enjoy it and it didn’t amuse him in the slightest. He found himself annoyed at the idea of it.

“Your Uber is probably on the other side of the stadium.” Jules informed Kaia, ignoring their laughter.

“Let me walk you to your Uber.” Davi offered and you accepted with the same smile that was usually aimed at Jules. It was odd seeing you basking in the attention of a man.

“Te enviaré un mensaje de texto cuando la deje en su casa.” (I’ll text you when I drop her off at her house.) Kaia assured Jules.

Jules’ jaw ticked at the sight of you and Davi and that was all the confirmation she needed - there was something more and Jules was doing an awful job at keeping it at bay.

“You owe me dinner.” You reminded him with a pointed finger. Jules chuckled with a final side hug to you and Kaia before shaking Davi’s hand. Davi motioned for you to walk in front of him and you obliged.

“See ya later Jules.” You called over your shoulder.

—

“You okay?” Iñigo’s accent was thick as he sat in his locker next to Jules. Jules was tugging off his shirt as he muttered a half-assed yes and continued changing out of his sweaty gear from training. He sighed and plopped down on the bench of his locker, putting his face in his hands for a moment and took in a deep breath before looking towards his teammate. A week passed but his mood had not changed.

“Why?” He asked with an arched brow. Iñigo was perceptive and as the question left Jules’ mouth, he instantly regretted it. He did not have the capacity to have conversations that were not about football and weren’t about the team.

“Something’s bothering you,” Iñigo stated as a matter of fact, “and your attitude sucks.”

“Nothing is bothering me.”

“You’ve been short with everyone all day.”

“So?” Jules replied, genuinely not caring about his own feelings. His tone was curt, proving Iñigo’s statement.

“Whatever, forget it.” Iñigo bowed out of the conversation and focused his efforts on changing out of his own gear, letting the silence brew between them.

The question bothered Jules but not enough for it to linger on his brain. He was thinking of contacting Corey about adding in an extra training session, which would now be five days, instead of the three days he worked in the past. Corey constantly reprimanded Jules for not using recovery days to his advantage but he never turned the footballer away when he showed up at the gym, eyes hungry and ready to conquer a session. He shot a text to Corey letting him know that he’d come in later after a couple of meetings with his manager.

—

Jules sat in his living room confirming different events his manager thought he would be interested in attending - each fashion invitation was an automatic yes. The others, he sent questions about to confirm whether or not it would interfere with his decision to add extra training to his work load. He listened to ESPN+ in the background, trying to finish the calendar quickly so he could leave for Corey’s gym. Candace came around the corner with her phone in hand before she noticed Jules on the floor with a tight look on his face as he typed on his laptop.

“You okay?” She sat on the couch beside him and tucked her legs underneath herself.

“Fine.” Jules clipped, his voice dripping with annoyance.

“Okay…” Candace drew out before leaning over to look at his calendar. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to Paris Fashion week?!” She exclaimed.

“No, I’m going to fashion week.” Jules snapped then immediately apologized when Candace slumped backwards into the couch. He moved his laptop and leaned over to kiss her pouty lips and apologized once more. “I’m so exhausted and they didn’t give me a plus one - just my manager.”

“S’okay.” She said with obvious hurt. “Just to spend more time with you, you barely see me.”

Jules placed his hands on either side of her legs and leaned in to kiss her which she greedily accepted, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck to pull him closer and deeper. The kiss was hot and slow, stirring up a need in Jules that he couldn’t deny - he loved how much she needed him. It fueled his ego.

“We have time right now,” he spoke against her lips.

“Really?” She smiled at his suddenness to be all over her. “How much time, baby?”

“More than enough.”

—

It was nearing the end of the brutal training session when the same question rolled off of Corey’s lips, “Are you good?”

“Why is everyone asking me that?” Jules rebutted. He groaned in frustration, dropping the weights harder than he should have. He stepped away from the plates and interlocked his hands on top of his head. “I’m fine.” He muttered looking up at the ceiling.

“You’ve been acting like a bitch.” Corey said nonchalantly which got him a stream of French curse words from his friend.

“I’m just tired.” Jules released with a shrug of his shoulder. Jules wore his emotions all over his body. It was in the way he walked and talked but especially in his eyes - they never lied. Corey could see through his bullshit answer.

“If you say so.”

After the match Kaia damn near kicked down the door to tell him what had happened. She had a theory that Jules was actually into his best friend, a theory which Corey refused to believe. She argued with him about it, laying out the evidence until it all came together. It was easy to see when he considered all the interactions he witnessed. But even with that revelation it meant nothing in the long run because he was dating Candace. He argued about Jules’ loyalty - the footballer was a bit of a playboy but he wasn’t a cheater. He was honest. Kaia had an argument for that too as she reasoned with Corey about why he was constantly dating women: he was getting his physical needs met but was emotionally attached to you. He didn’t just want you but he needed you.

Corey eyed his friend and began racking the weights and asked nonchalantly if Jules had talked to you recently.

“Yeah, why?” Jules chest was still heaving from the lift but was calming and eased at the mention of your name.

“Kaia was telling me about that guy…uh, I can’t think of his name…” Corey pretended.

“Davi.” He spat out.

“Him! Kaia said they’ve been talking recently,” Corey was ready to poke the bear and see what the reaction would be, “Has Joáo mentioned him?”

“No.” Jules’ tone had a bite to it and that was all the confirmation he needed.

Corey stopped asking questions and eased into telling him what to expect with adding two more days of training. He had Jules’ attention and focus but Corey’s mind still wandered to the time the two of you were sitting together at Kaia’s kitchen counter, leaned into each other as if the world didn’t exist. Corey thought of the look of Jules’ as he listened to you speaking with animated hands and how his eyes never left your face - not even once.

Jules stood with his bag on his shoulder and loosed a breath before saying goodbye to Corey. He pulled out his phone to call you and it went straight to voicemail. He called again and this time, it rang twice before it was declined. He figured you and Kaia escaped to the town for dinner considering Corey changed his plans to fit an extra training session in. He reminded himself to apologize to Kaia and give her a gift.

you: at dinner, talk later?

Jules liked the message and stuffed his phone into his pocket, tossing his keys around his finger. The night was cool and he strode to his car before stopping mid step. His heart was beating as if he just sprinted all the way there. In the moonlight parked next to his own car, sat Kaia’s polished Range Rover. Yet you were at dinner.

taglist 🔖 | @queenshikongo3 @abiigaiil1234 @hopefulromantic1 @christianpulisic10 @vile-harlot @02wrldz @milflieutenant @savecharlosfromferrari @jasmindaughteroftheworld @808heartz

[macsimagines]

izana, shinichiro and draken hanging out with their darling but then she needs to go to the bathroom or smth and accidentally leaves her phone unlocked near him 🫢🫢

Creep, creep, creepin'

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, CREEPY AND TOXIC BEHAVIOR, GASLIGHTING

Yandere!Izana Kurokawa

Whether or not you left your phone unlocked won't matter because he already knows your password. He made you give it to him the day you got it.

"Quit being a brat. I'm your boyfriend, you shouldn't be afraid to give me your password. What? Are you hiding something?" So after a huge fight that ended with you being gaslit you ended up relenting.

Now he just takes your phone and goes through it. You end up loosing a lot of friends because he just deletes and blocks people without telling you.

"Why do you care so much? You don't need anyone else but me."

Yandere!Shinichiro Sano

Has been dying to get his hands on your phone for months. You're so guarded about it. Always fiddling or smiling down at your screen. It has him feeling so insecure.

"What if she's texting some other guy? What if they're in love and she's planning on leaving me? Is she thinking about him when we're together?"

When you left it unattended and unlocked he snatched it so quick, only a small piece of him feeling weird about it at first but then quickly felt so shitty.

Your screen saver had been a picture of you two together, your whole camera roll was photos of him, and the whole time you've been smiling and looking at your screen was because you've been spamming your friends group chat with photos of him.

[Look at my BF ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ isn't he the cutest!!!!???] [bitch if you don't get his fuckin' face outta the group chat-]

Feels very guilty for being a creep, almost feels sorry for your friends. Almost.

Yandere!Ken Ryuguji (AKA Draken)

Also a douchebag that demanded your password. Not at first, but eventually got sick and tired of you looking at the screen instead of him.

"Seriously!? Are you gonna give me yours!?" "Hell no. I ain't the one always lookin' away Y/N." Basically turns it on you and demands you show him your texts but you never cave in.

When you leave it unlocked its an open invitation. He's checking your texts and photos, he's on your social media blocking people he doesn't know or doesn't like left and right.

Then when you walk back and ask him what the hell he thinks he's doing he just throws it back at you like you did something wrong.

"The hell are all these guys doin' in your DMs, Y/N? You wanna fuck around and play games like I didn't know you were up to somethin' shady?" "I don't even message them back! I always block creeps!" "Oh ya? Postin' a lot of skanky pictures, Sure you don't like the attention?"

You two fight HARD in public, its honestly embarrassing. Good luck trying to break up with him over it though, he's not letting you go no where.

[boltupbitches]

One Day at a Time - Justin Herbert

Prompt:

Can you do a Justin Herbert one where let's say you have a situationship. You find out he's seeing someone else and you want a commitment. Says he's not ready then a few weeks after you find out you're pregnant and keep it from him. A friend accidentally shares your gender reveal on instagram and he does the math so he knows it's his daughter. He comes over and is mad at first but then yall argue it out. Happy ending please.

This entire situation was fucked from the get-go. Situationships, friends-with-benefits, fuck buddies.. Whatever label you wanted to use to describe a no-strings relationship. What ended up being a one night stand after meeting at a bar in Eugene turned into 6 months of hook ups and hangouts.

Yet, Justin never made the move to make it official with his ‘friend’ Alex. At least, she was very certain they weren’t even friends at all because friends don’t fuck every time they link up.

Justin’s constant dodging of the conversation she wanted to have with him reached a boiling point when she caught on to a rumor online about him hooking up with a reality tv star. The same night he avoided coming over, avoided her texts and calls, and essentially ghosted her.

Then, the news broke and the reality tv starlet leaked the private DMs he sent to the media.. Creating an even bigger frenzy.

Alex was heartbroken and mad. Mad that he was leading her on and mad that she gave him the opportunity to do so countless times.

That’s how they ended up here at her apartment, fighting over the situation.

She had sent him one final text saying ‘whatever this is is done.’

A half hour later he was at her door, acting shocked by her decision.

“I just want a straight answer from you for once!” She shouted at him as he turned his back towards her, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Stop yelling, Alex.” He demanded.

“No.. see what you’re not going to do is talk to me like a fucking child. I am not one and you are going to listen to me. I’m tired of the games, Justin. You’ve been playing games with my heart for months and we both fucking know it. I just want some transparency and you can’t be decent enough to give that to me! So, what is this officially and where do you see it going?” She demanded.

He was silent again, not looking at her.

“Well?” Her eyes were tearing up as she stared at his back. “Nothing? You can’t even fucking look at me when I’m talking to you?” She bit her lip, trying to fight back the tears.

He turns around and stares at her, his eyes impassive. “Alex.. I.. I’m not ready to commit to anything. I’m sorry, ok? I just.. I am young and I’m enjoying my career. Being settled down isn’t a priority to me at this point. Outside of football, I am not thinking about anything else commitment-wise.”

“Get out.”

“What?” He asked with a shocked expression.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment. Get the fuck out of my life. And fucking lose my number, you piece of shit!” She yelled at him, pointing her fingers towards her door. “Get out!”

He stares in shock once more. 

She doesn’t look at him and stares blankly down at the floor, schooling her face to not show anymore emotion to him.

“Alex..” He whispered pitifully.

“Just go.. Please.” She said back quietly, refusing to stare at him.

It was quiet for another moment or two and then she heard his footsteps pass her and go towards the door. She wished he had fought for her, but he didn’t.

The door closed behind her and when she heard his car start and pull out of her driveway, she finally collapsed to her knees, hugging herself tightly as she sobbed in heartbreak. 

She didn’t hear from him after that. Even though a small part of her hoped for him to come crawling back and to show he regretted it, she knew it was better he didn’t. What they had was unhealthy. Yet, she still held onto some hope that he would.

He didn’t.

A week later there would be another gossip column spreading around about Justin’s dating life, this time with a lingerie model. 

She was disappointed, but not surprised.

—---------------------------------------------------

A few months would pass and before Justin knew it, the season was over and with it a heartbreaking playoffs loss against the Jaguars.

He flew low after that, focusing on recovery post-surgery and keeping himself busy. And for once, that didn’t include dating.

Los Angeles had planted some habits in himself he swore he’d break free from before the pre-season training camp in the summer. One of those habits would be hookups and dating famous women. 

He found after the couple dates with the lingerie model that beyond their beauty, there wasn’t much substance to them. Instagram followers, brand endorsements, and sponsored trips were conversations he had with his business manager and PR specialist - not with a romantic interest.

He found also that his heart ached at times, his mind drifting to Alex and wondering how she was doing. She had blocked him on everything and from what he understood through mutual friends who remained oblivious to it all, she moved back to Eugene as well to live with her mom.

He missed her. He couldn’t deny that. Most of all, he regretted how he treated her and made her feel. The drive back from her place that evening she kicked him out was absolute hell. He couldn’t figure out what the deep pang in his chest was until he pulled into his driveway and put the car in park. There, he broke down crying.

He realized he loved her and then lost her all in the same day. It was his fault for leading her on and avoiding commitment. His stupid justifications were that if they remained in the situationship, the likelihood of hurting each other’s feelings would be less. 

Yet, looking back on it now, it made absolutely no fucking sense.

She was right - he led her on and broke her heart. And then she was done with his shit.

He ruined it. He didn’t even have the courage inside himself to go back and beg her for forgiveness, to take back what he said, and to apologize for hurting her.

No, instead he poured himself back into football, continued to go on dates with beautiful women that he had no interest in beyond surface level. Nights were lonely and he missed talking to Alex. Often, he’d pull up their text message threads, ignoring the most recent one and scrolling back to some of the good times they had.

Funny enough, thinking about her seemed to be a more common thing and Justin was certain God was now playing a cruel prank on him. Because what he came across next while scrolling Instagram was something he was NOT prepared for in any capacity. He sat in complete shock. It was as if every fiber in his being had turned to stone for those mere seconds his eyes scanned the images in front of him on his phone.

Snapping out of it, he quickly viewed the Instagram story again. It was from a mutual of his and his ex friend with benefits, Alex.

It was a gender reveal… for Alex... who was visibly pregnant and beautiful as the pink confetti from the poppers were floating around her.

And in that moment he knew. He had gotten her pregnant because there was no way she was out messing with other men. He knew better than to think that. She wasn’t that type.

But she apparently was the type to get pregnant and not fucking tell him.

The stirring of emotions in him at that very moment was more than he could comprehend. All he knew was that he was heading over to her place to talk whether she liked it or not. He wanted answers right then and there. And the two of them were both in Eugene. No better time than to pay a visit.

Justin could barely remember the drive to her mom’s house. He just knew she lived 25 minutes from him. By the time he came off auto pilot, he was in front of her door, knocking loudly.

There was no answer at first. Then, just as he attempted to knock again, the door swung open to reveal a sleepy Alex who had clearly just woken up. She was wearing a baggy sweatshirt, Oregon State pajama bottoms, and socks. Her hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail. 

She was rubbing her eyes and was just about to greet whoever was at the door when she realized who it was. 

They stared at each other in shock. Justin opened his mouth to say something when suddenly the door was being slammed in his face.

He stuck his foot in the doorway in just the split second he had and winced in pain at his foot being smashed in the doorway. “Fuck - wait Alex! Please!”

“No! Go away, Justin!” She yelled, using her own foot to try and nudge his out of the doorway, blocking her from shutting him completely out. “Seriously!?” She shouted as she felt him open the door wider with his good arm. Finally, she gave up and let go of the door, backing up to let him open it.

He did, proceeding into the house and bending down to rub his sore foot. “Fuck, Alex.. break my foot next time why don’t you..”

“Oh.. I gladly would. Who sticks their foot in the doorway like a dumbass?” She said rudely back.

He looked up at her, his expression showing how unimpressed he was with her attitude. “Well, clearly me because how else was I going to get you to talk to me?” He demanded. His eyes move instinctively to stare at the swell of her stomach showing beneath her baggy sweatshirt. “Alexandra.. We need to talk about this.” He nodded his head at her stomach.

She instinctively took a step back and wrapped her arms around her body. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“There absolutely is.” He stood up, staring down at her with an upset expression. “When were you going to tell me that I got you pregnant?”

It was her turn to turn away from him and start walking to the living room. She ignored his calling of her name and waved her arm behind her, indicating for him to follow her. 

He did so without another word, still upset and still frustrated by everything. He didn’t know what to think or say. There was so much going on in his mind at that moment but anytime he tried to muster up the right words to convey the maelstrom going on in his mind, the words just wouldn’t string together and come out. 

She sat on the couch and gestured for him to do the same.

 He did, although he was unsure what she wanted him to do.

She reached forward towards a box he just now noticed that had his address on a shipping label. She was going to send him something.

Wordlessly, she handed the box over to him and watched as he used his house key to tear open the tape. He pulled the box open to find a beautiful wooden box with a cursive engraving that said, ‘Baby Girl Herbert. October 2023.’ He lifted the wooden box carefully out of its packaging and placed it gently on his lap.

His fingers traced the cursive lettering a few times as he stared at it. He knew what was inside it, but was stalling because the tears were already starting to form in his eyes. Justin looked up and made eye contact with Alex who smiled back at him tearfully, her eyes sad.

“Go on.” She urged gently.

And he did. He lifted the lid carefully and stared at the pink blanket that had patterns of ducklings on it. Carefully, he unraveled the blanket and found a copy of a sonogram, a baby onesie that said ‘dad’s #1 fan’, and a letter in an envelope. He didn’t know which to look at first, but his hand instinctively went to the letter.

He opened it and read it silently as Alex watched him with tearful, expectant eyes. 

Dear Justin,

I never imagined writing this letter to you - much less with how things ended between us. I want to get straight to the point. I am pregnant and she’s yours. I will gladly go through the court system and complete a DNA test if you’d prefer that for proof. I also would prefer this to remain quiet between us (including our legal counsel in the know and our immediate family) at this point because I am not interested in being in the news. 

I know this is shocking news to receive. I spent many nights trying to decide how I could even begin to approach you about this. I was terrified that you wouldn’t believe it given how we ended our situationship, and I was heartbroken. I told myself after finding out that I would take a few weeks to come to terms with this. It’s huge, Justin, we can’t deny that. 

Instead, time seemed to pass so rapidly and I just let time continue to pass. I am sorry you are finding out this way, and I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want. I plan to keep her, but I understand if you prefer a minimal role given how much football means to you at this point in your life. I certainly understand that.

Please feel free to give my home phone at my mom’s house a call. I listed it below in this letter.

Regards,

Alex

Justin gulped, tears now spilling down his chest as he folded the letter back up and stared down at the baby onesie in the box. His hand shakingly picked it up as he stared at it in wonder. He couldn’t believe such a tiny person could fit into this, much less a tiny person he helped make that would wear this. He wondered what she would look like. Would she have his eye color or hair color? Would she have the same smile as his? His nose or eye shape? The more he thought about it, the more the tears flowed.

Finally, he placed it back gently into the box and lifted the sonogram next. In college he studied biology and always figured that if the NFL career didn’t work out, he would consider med school as his back up. Sonograms were interesting to him given the few he’d seen in passing.

His eyes studied the shape of the fetus, his eyes pouring over the details. 

“The technician said she’ll like by a long baby.” Alex’s voice broke him out of his spell.

He looked over to her, staring at her in interest as she continued to explain the current size of their unborn daughter. Justin listened - the one thing he wish he had done months ago. He listened as Alex listed off how far along she was, how many appointments she had been too, her expected due date, the heart burn she was suffering with currently, the nursery her mom set up in the spare room of the house. He listened to it all.

When it was quiet again, Justin slipped the sonogram back into the box and sat it gently on the coffee table in front of them.

Then, he slid to the ground gently, turning to kneel in front of Alex who was still sitting on the couch, staring at him in shock, unsure what he was doing.

Justin gently gripped knee and leaned forward to place his head in her lap. His large frame started to shake as he cried quietly into her lap.

Alex immediately started to sooth him, running one hand up and down his back as the other ran gently through his hair. “Justin.. It’s ok.” 

He shook his head gently and mumbled, but Alex couldn’t hear them.

“What?” She asked gently. “Please sit up. You’re going to hurt your knees kneeling like that.”

He stayed put for a few more seconds before lifting his head up and staring at her with red eyes. “I said.. I am so sorry for everything. I know this doesn’t fix things between us, nor does it take back how I treated you, but I truly, sincerely mean it. I am sorry for being such an asshole. I am sorry I hurt you and put myself first. I am sorry I haven’t been here. But, Alexandra? I am now,” He stared earnestly at her, “I am. I am not going anywhere. I want to be here for our daughter and I want to be here for you. Please, please allow me that chance.”

She nodded tearfully and cupped his face, her stomach making it a bit difficult to lean forward fully. “I will never ever keep you from her, Justin. No matter what happened or is going on between us.”

He nodded at that and looked down. “And us?” He asked hopefully.

She smiled at him, “One day at a time, ok?”

He smiled back sadly, knowing she was right. It would be one day at a time for them, but he was hell bent to build a better relationship for them going forward. It wouldn’t be easy - he knew that. It didn’t stop him from wanting to try however. He was going to make this work.

“One day at a time.” He agreed.

[goldengleams]

torn - jamie drysdale x reader

———————————————————————

In which Jamie doesn’t have to navigate an injury alone.

Jamie Drysdale x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: medical inaccuracies, mentions of injury/surgery, please pretend the game where Jamie got injured was a home game !

———————————————————————

You swirled around your drink, staring at the television behind your friends’ head. Your best friend and roommate sat around you planning which house would be the first stop on the Halloween weekend party circuit.

“Y/N, are you even listening?” Your friend Meredith pulled you out of your trance.

“Uh, no, what did you say?” You asked, meeting her eyes just as she rolled them and looked back in the mirror to keep getting ready.

“I said we have to leave in forty-five minutes or else we won’t get to Sigma Chi in time,” she said. “Allison and Chelsea are already in their costumes, too, so you’ve got to get ready!”

You made a move to stand up and pull your costume on, but didn’t totally shift your focus from the game. The Anaheim Ducks were playing the Vegas Golden Knights and were down by one goal. You searched the screen for number 6, and hoped that things would end up good for your team.

It had been a long week of receiving midterm grades back and trying to adjust your focus to the second half of the semester. Your research lab gave you more hours, which was great for experience, but had significantly limited the amount of time you had to do other things. The last place you wanted to go was to a frat party on Halloween weekend.

“Is this party even supposed to be good? The last one these guys threw was trash, Mere.”

Meredith turned from her desk to give you a death stare. “You’re going to put on your Britney Spears “Oops!….I Did it Again” outfit, and you’re going to turn off the Ducks’ game, and we’re going to have fun, okay?”

“I feel like you’re going to have more fun than I will,” you sighed.

“Well, duh! You’re only half a drink in and I’m trying to get psyched for our matching Britney costumes!”

Meredith was dressed like Britney in the "…Baby One More Time" video and you were her counterpart in a tight red one piece. You both loved Britney, so the costume was a no brainer. She downed the rest of her drink and made a move to pour you a shot to take with her.

"We haven’t hung out in forever and this is going to be fun, I promise, Y/N.”

“I know, I’m just a little exhausted from this week,” you said. You rubbed your eyes and tried to get a little energy.

“You want me to make you a vodka Red Bull? That got you excited last time Trevor and Jamie came down."

“I think the last thing I need is that, Mere,” you chuckled.

“Okay well finish your High Noon and loosen up! You know Jamie wouldn’t want you sitting here having no fun!”

You guessed she was right. Jamie Drysdale, your boyfriend of a year, was over an hour away, doing exactly what he loved. You never expected that you would find someone and date them throughout college, especially not someone who didn’t even attend your college, but here you were. Jamie had swept you off your feet and you hadn’t looked back since. The two of you met during your summer internship as the social media manager for the team. After lots of nudging from Jamie's teammate, Trevor Zegras, you had hung out with Jamie alone and next thing you knew, you were dating a professional hockey player.

You were always so proud of him for doing his best out on the ice. Your friends thought your relationship was so cute and hoped for the best for both of you.

Jamie had gotten you to leave campus and come to a few Ducks games with your friends, but when they were during a busy week, you typically turned him down. Now, you hadn't seen him face to face in almost two weeks. You watched his games as much as you could, even when it interfered with coveted Halloween plans.

"Okay c'mon, no more hockey," she chided, pushing a shot into your hands. "Let's cheers to the fact that the basketball team is supposed to be there and I’m not missing my chance with one of those cuties!”

You groaned while Meredith clinked your shots together and threw hers back. You were about to drink yours to really get your night started when the sight on the television made your breath hitch.

A slow motion replay had just ended on the screen and you could see Jamie stepping off the ice with a trainer holding his jersey. You must have missed the actual moment.

"Mere, where's the remote?" You frantically looked around the room until you spotted the white rectangle.

"No, we're not watching this again, Y/N!"

You rushed to rewind to see what had happened and why Jamie had left, looking so unsteady. Meredith came to stand next to you and put a hand on your shoulder. Once you felt like you had gone back far enough, you pressed play.

"...Jamie Drysdale shaken up here, kinda favoring that left arm," the commentator trailed off and you were left with the slow motion replay.

Jamie had been shoved up against the glass by a member of the opposing team and crumpled to the ground. The commentators spoke about how the hit wasn't anything that deserved a penalty but their words started to fade into the background. Your eyes were glued to the screen.

"And that's not good," the commentator sighed.

"Holy shit."

You felt the remote slowly start to fall from your hand as your body trembled with the weight of what you just watched sinking in. Jamie was hurt. You'd never seen him hurt. The remote clattered to the floor.

"Y/N," Meredith started.

Your body started to move before your mind did as you grabbed your phone and opened it up to Twitter to see what people were saying.

"Hey, no, no. You are not wasting your time on social media, Y/N," Meredith said, taking your phone and setting it down. "Look, I don't know for sure what happened, none of us do. But it's up to you what you want to do next."

Meredith seemed to have sobered up and you instantly shook off the few sips of a drink you had. In your haste and confusion, you forgot that Meredith was probably the best person to have in your corner. She was studying physiology and sports medicine and had worked with a minor league baseball team.

"Is it bad?" Your whisper was barely audible.

"Shoulders are tough, it could be a tear or a separation," she sighed. "The way his shoulder was in a dead hang, it's probably a tear or a separation."

"Does he need surgery? A tear doesn't sound like it needs surgery."

"It depends," Meredith shrugged. "If it's bad enough, athletes are almost always recommended for surgery to speed up the healing process. It's hard to know from only seeing it that quickly."

You nodded.

"Well, I don't know which hospital he's at, I can probably call someone to give me the number of the trainer," you sighed. "I, uh, I feel like I should try to see him.”

She pulled you into a hug and gave you a light squeeze.

"I think you should, too. He's going to be so glad you're there."

The next few minutes were filled with you packing a bag with all of your necessities and a few pairs of clothing. Your school had given you Monday off, so you quickly planned to be in Anaheim for a few days.

Meredith made no attempt to leave you, even when you knew she was supposed to be ready to leave. Thirty minutes later, you had everything you needed packed and were in contact with one of your old coworkers who knew the trainer for the Ducks and gave you his number.

"Love you so much, Y/N," Meredith said while hugging you. "Give Jamie lots of TLC and text me when you get there, okay?"

You wiped your eyes before promising her you would. She shooed you out the door and you climbed into your car to begin the drive to Anaheim.

You played light music during the ride to calm your nerves. Heart pounding in your chest, you dialed the number for team trainer.

A long phone call later, you learned which hospital Jamie had been brought to. You learned from the trainer that they believed he had torn his labrum in his shoulder and was waiting to be brought in for scans.

Before you knew it, you had pulled up to the hospital. The bright lights blinded you in the wake of your destination. Once you parked, you exited the parking garage and texted the trainer to meet you outside.

"Y/N?" A voice called out to you. You turned to your right and saw a man in a black track suit waving to you.

"Hi, it's Chad, right?" You said, offering your hand.

"Yes, it's nice to meet you," Chad shook your hand and turned to walk into the building. You steeled yourself and followed him in.

"He's just finished his tests and it confirmed the torn labrum, like we suspected. Luckily, the orthopedic surgeon that's on tonight will be able to do his surgery before the night ends." he said, guiding you through the hallways. "His parents are trying to get on the earliest flight to come see him, they're hoping to be here by Sunday at the latest."

You tried to keep up his pace and take everything in as you chatted in the elevator.

"Jamie's on the third floor. They've got him on some meds to ease the pain now but they'll get him prepped on anesthesia and a block when they're ready for him."

Chad abruptly stopped in front of a door that he pointed out to be Jamie's room. "I'll leave you to it, I'm sure he'll be excited to see you."

Chad left you there alone, promising to be in the waiting area to keep an eye out for the doctor who would be performing the surgery.

You braced yourself as you gripped the handle of the door. Should you have texted Jamie beforehand?

You slowly pushed open the door handle and peeked your head around. Sitting in the bed in front of you was your boyfriend.

Jamie was dressed in a hospital gown with a blanket covering his legs. The bed was propped up and his arm was in a white sling, resting on some pillows to keep it in place. An IV was placed in the crook of his right elbow to keep him comfortable as possible.

“Hey,” you said quietly, trying not to startle him.

Jamie’s eyes left the television screen in the corner of his room and came to rest on you.

“Hi babe,” he said, a sad smile starting to take over his face. He tried to push himself up a little to greet you but he fell back to the bed in a groan.

“Don’t move, it’s just me,” you reminded him. “I’m right here, J.”

You walked over to his right side and set your bag down on the floor. Your heart melted at the sight of him looking so vulnerable in the hospital bed. You leaned over to run your fingers through his hair to give him some comfort.

“How are you feeling?” You asked, knowing the answer wouldn’t be ideal.

“I’m alright,” he let out a soft chuckle. “Been better, I guess.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” your hand trailed down his arm to meet his hand on the bed.

“We lost the game, too.”

“Shit,” you sighed.

You hadn’t checked the score of the game since you left your dorm. You were solely focused on getting to Jamie as quickly as possible.

“I’m sorry you had to drive down here on Halloween weekend to sit in a hospital with me. You shouldn’t have had to come,” he trailed off, closing his eyes as a wave of pain erupted in his shoulder. His right arm reached to pull his right closer to his body.

“Don’t say sorry, I wasn’t gonna have any fun this weekend anyways, not without you. Meredith was gonna get sloppy and then I’d have to wrangle her back to our dorm,” you mentioned, which was true. The whole weekend was going to consist of you following around Meredith as she got as drunk as possible. You got Jamie to let out a soft laugh. He knew how you and Meredith liked to go out and have fun, even if you went overboard most times.

“You have to have surgery, right?”

Jamie nodded, letting out an exhale as you mentioned the word surgery. You knew he wasn’t a big fan of needles or anything to do with hospitals, so you felt bad for him that he had to undergo emergency surgery.

“They said it‘a a quick surgery, thank God,” he breathed out a sigh. “Feels like my whole arm is out of place and it hurts like crazy."

For the first time since you walked in the room, you really looked at Jamie’s left side. He was trying to keep his body as still as possible so he wouldn’t jostle his arm. You could see faint bruises forming right at the neckline of the hospital gown. You didn’t get squeamish very easily, but the reality of Jamie’s injury was starting to make your stomach hurt.

“Missed you, been forever since I saw you,” he mumbled. You could tell Jamie wanted to change the subject and you couldn’t help but go along with him since he needed the distraction. You tore your eyes away from his shoulder with a shaky breath. Jamie needed you to be here with him.

“I missed you, too,” you said, smiling as he looked you in the eyes. His big blue eyes were clouded over and you wiped a tear from his cheek. “We have Monday off so I can stay with you until then if you want. I can tell you all about midterms and my research lab.”

“Of course I want that, are you crazy? Any Y/N time I can get is appreciated,” he laughed and grabbed your hand to kiss it.

You continued to chat with him until the doctor came in and told him they were going to prep him for surgery. Jamie tensed up but you reassured him that everything would be fine.

“It’s super quick and then we get to go home,” you told him. You leaned down to give him a kiss which he eagerly returned. You pulled back before he could deepen the kiss and make you flustered in front of the nurse who was checking his sheet.

“More of that at home?” He mused. You couldn’t help but smile at Jamie. He was a quiet guy, but around people he knew, he could be outgoing and playful.

“I probably shouldn’t say no to an injured guy,” you teased.

“I'm not just some guy,” he poked you in the stomach and made you laugh. You gave him one more quick kiss before turning to head out of the room.

Chad was sitting outside the room and you sat next to him. He told you he was planning on staying until Jamie was ready to head home, which would be shortly after he woke up and was able to get dressed. The surgery was an easy outpatient surgery, so you figured you’d be home right around midnight.

You got the rundown on Jamie’s recovery and what you should do to help him in the next few days. Chad warned you that he might not get much sleep due to the pain but that he should get some relief from the strong pain medication he would be taking a few times each day.

“It’ll be a little rough, but he’ll be in good hands with you and Zegras. He’ll bounce back quickly with PT,” Chad reminded you.

An hour went by and next thing you knew, a doctor was coming out to tell you that Jamie had woken up and could go home whenever he was ready. The doctor had cleared him and said he would be on the mend.

You went back into Jamie’s room, where you found him chatting to a nurse who was helping him sit up.

“Hi there, he just woke up and was asking for you,” she said sweetly, looking at you.

“He’s a little disoriented but he shouldn’t be in too much pain, the doctor uses a nerve block that will wear off within the day.”

Jamie lifted his head to see you standing there in front of him. He looked at you through half lidded eyes. He looked a little pale from waking up from surgery and moved slowly to get up with the help of his nurse. You took in how soft he looked as the nurse helped him zip up the Ducks sweatshirt that Chad had brought for him.

He now had on a black sling that would keep his shoulder in place and protect him from knocking into anything.

“Hi J,” you said quietly. “The surgery is all done, babe.”

He nodded and mumbled that he was ready to go home as you helped him into the wheelchair that would bring him to your car. Chad said goodbye to you as you left the room, telling you to call if you needed anything from him.

“He said he was ready to spend the weekend with you, what a sweet guy,” the nurse said, wheeling him out of the room.

“Yeah, he’s the best,” you said, blushing. “I got lucky with Jamie.”

You parted ways momentarily to go bring your car down so Jamie could get in easily. With some help, you got him sitting and thanked the nurse before she shut the door. You were really on your own with Jamie now. This didn’t usually worry you, but you wanted to keep him as comfortable as possible.

“Hey, it’s finally just me and you,” you said, looking over at him as you pulled away.

Jamie was leaned back in your front seat with his eyes closed, his head hanging down a little. He looked pretty comfortable, if the content look on his face was anything to go by.

“I told the nurse that I’ve got the best girlfriend in the world,” he muttered. “I told her that I wanna say ‘I love you’ soon. I don’t wanna take too long and miss my chance.”

“I bet she’ll be really excited to hear that, J.”

You couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face. You and Jamie had agreed to take it slow when you started dating. At the time, he had really just begun his professional hockey career and you had a few more years left in college, so you weren’t looking to rush into anything that you couldn’t keep up with.

Neither one of you had said I love you yet, but more and more you were finding the words on the tip of your tongue. You were scared that saying it first would result in heartbreak, so you refrained from letting the words slip out. Even in his disoriented state, you knew Jamie would never say something untrue. His honesty was reassuring to you and you knew you could tell him how you really felt when he was feeling better.

———————————————————————

You filled Jamie’s prescription and headed back to his and Trevor’s apartment. A text to Trevor let him know that you were on your way back so he could help you bring Jamie inside.

Once you pulled to a stop, you sent Trevor a message and waited until he came outside.

“Jamie? We’re home,” you said, not trying to startle him. You placed a hand on his thigh in an attempt to wake him up.

Jamie stirred, opening his eyes and looking around blearily. He let out a huff of breath as he took in the sling he was sporting. You figured he was truly seeing it for the first time since you had left the hospital.

"Why does my shoulder feel numb?" He questioned, dragging his eyes up to meet yours. You could tell he felt uncomfortable in the sling and felt sorry for him.

"It was from the surgery, J. Does it hurt?"

Jamie seemed to think about it for a minute before he shrugged. You flinched as he did so and he let out a groan. "Can't do that anymore."

“Trevor’s about to come down to help you walk upstairs, okay?”

Jamie seemed to acknowledge you and looked to see Trevor approaching the car. Trevor was sporting a hoodie and shorts and looked a little rough. You could imagine that the team was taking Jamie's injury pretty hard.

Trevor opened the door and you could tell he was trying to smile as he took in the state of his roommate in the front seat.

"Hey Jimmy, you made it home, man," he said quietly.

Jamie, not in the mood to talk, sleepily nodded and allowed himself to be gently manhandled out of the car.

"You didn't win, Z," Jamie mumbled as Trevor wrapped an arm around his waist to walk him towards the door to the apartment building.

"Couldn't focus without you."

You let Trevor bring Jamie in as you grabbed your bag and locked your car. You couldn't help but whip out your phone and take a picture of the two of them from behind. Trevor and you had similar personalities, both extroverted and ready for fun. You bonded with him immediately.

"Yo roomie, you coming or what?" Trevor called, turning back to see you behind them. "I might just steal your little boyfriend for the night if you don't hurry."

"You wish, Zegras."

———————————————————————

By the time you trekked up to Trevor and Jamie's apartment, Jamie was absolutely wiped. Trevor gracefully deposited him on the couch while you set your bag down.

"Thanks for your help, Z," you acknowledged. "Sorry the game didn't turn out well."

"No problem, and no one cared about that after seeing Jamie down. I think I'm still in disbelief," he chuckled. You knew Trevor was probably tired from the game and most likely had practice in the morning to regroup as a team.

"Was he in a lot of pain?" Trevor whispered to you. Jamie was half asleep and the news was playing on the television but you assumed Trevor was trying to be cautious around him. Trevor and Jamie loved each other like brothers and it was hard for him, too.

You nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah, it sucked to see him like that."

Trevor wrapped you in a hug before you could say anything else, assuring you that you would both get through it together.

"And when you go back to school to be all smart next week, I promise I'll take good care of him and give him lots of cuddles," Trevor assured you.

You laughed as he held up a salute towards you. Trevor had easily become one of your close friends within the past year. You always felt comfortable around him.

"That would be perfect, Z," you said, a genuine smile reaching your cheeks. "Go wake my boy up so he can eat something."

"Eat? He's dead to the world, Y/N!"

"And when the block wears off and he's in pain, he'll wish he took the medicine early to minimize it," you said in retaliation.

Trevor looked at you as he tilted his head sideways, eyes narrowing.

"Does Jamie know he's dating a know-it-all?"

"Yup, and he loves it, Zegras, " you responded teasingly.

Trevor followed your lead, waking Jamie up as you made him some toast so he could take a dose of medicine.

"She's making you toast right now, dude. She'll be back in a minute," you heard Trevor say as you approached them with Jamie's food.

"He was wondering where you went, y'know, since I'm chopped liver," Trevor joked.

"I'm right here, J. I brought you something," you said. You helped him eat some of the toast before taking some medicine. Trevor assisted you in getting him out of his jacket and into his bedroom as you cleaned up. Waves of exhaustion were just starting to hit you. A text was sent to Meredith to update her on the night to which you received a jumble of letters in response. At least someone was having a fun night. You brought your bag into Jamie's room to get changed and go to bed.

When you entered the room, you were surprised by the boys in front of you. Jamie was propped up on pillows, sitting half upright in bed while Trevor made sure he was comfortable. Trevor had helped him change and got him ready for bed. It was a sight for sore eyes.

"Your boyfriend ready for bed, Z?"

"Oh yeah, minty breath and everything. Hey, I work wonders, Y/N," Trevor quipped, always able to make a joke, even when he was tired.

You and Jamie said goodnight to Trevor. He told you he'd be back around noon after morning practice.

Once you had changed and washed your face, you took a deep breath before walking back into Jamie's room. Jamie had woken up a little in after eating something and had turned on Friends to watch.

"Need anything?" Your voice cut through the quiet hum of the television.

"Just you," he mused. You rolled your eyes as you turned out the light and joined him, but he knew you didn't really mean it. His teammates had always teased him about being whipped for you, but he never cared. Jamie loved to take you on special dates and show you around California since you were both still pretty new to the state. He thought you were such a smart girl and you kept him in awe every time you hung out.

"Thanks for tonight, Y/N. I know it wasn't really ideal," Jamie trailed off as you climbed into bed next to him. "I'm sorry I put you in these situations."

"You know there's nothing you need to be sorry about, right? It's not like this was your fault, J."

Jamie didn't meet your eyes as you inched closer to him. You were on his injured side, which was right at the middle of his bed on pillows to keep him steady in the night.

"Hey, look at me," you whispered. "I know what I got myself into when I started dating you. I'm not scared."

He could hear the reassurance in your voice and felt hopeful for the first time that night. You moved a little closer so you could hold his face in your hands.

In the soft light of the television, Jamie met your gaze. "I don't want to stop you from your future, Y/N."

You huffed out a sigh, kneeling and climbing onto Jamie's lap. He reacted in surprise, right hand coming to find your waist as you made sure to give him space for his sling.

"I'm gonna smush your face if you don't listen to me, Drysdale," you attempted, threateningly.

"I'm in for the long haul, okay?" You were now holding Jamie's face in your hands, staring into his eyes. "Y'know, if you want me to be."

Instead of answering you, Jamie leaned in to kiss you. You allowed him to push his tongue into your mouth, sinking into his touch.

"I want you forever," he mumbled into your mouth before pulling away. "I, uh, I know I'm not the best at telling you everything, but I love you, Y/N."

You could practically feel your pupils dilating as a wide smile broke out on your face. "And I love you, Jamie Drysdale. Took you long enough, you dork."

You finished your makeout session and settled into bed next to Jamie. You wrapped a hand around his stomach as you settled in to sleep on your stomach. You were almost asleep before you heard Jamie whisper something above you.

“Shit,” you heard Jamie say.

“Are you alright?” You leaned up, fearing that he had hurt himself, but instead he had his right hand dragging over his face.

“I won’t get to see you in that hot Britney costume.”

“Oh my god, I hate you."

"You said I love you, actually."

"Don't get smart, Drysdale."

"I love you too, babe."

———————————————————————

A/N: Hi guys!! Thanks so so much for all of your likes and everything! I've been thinking of writing this one for a while, so I hope you enjoy!

[misshoneyimhome]

Hello lovely!! Hope you had a fab time at the game🥰

I have been thinking a lot about our lil slutty Willy interview and have some thoughts swirling…I love a good oblivious Will and that’s why it cracks me up that he said he’ll know when he finds someone worth spending time on! My thought is you and Will have decided not to label anything, started as friends then FWB, but now you’re towing the line of needing to have that what do we want conversion. Then Will does that interview in Sweden and with all the media you start believing that it is in fact a one sided thing plus he’s obviously coming back even more famous, the thought of him wanting you is laughable so you distance yourself - as he said himself, if he found someone he wanted to be with he would know. So Will gets back from the long roadie to your belongings removed from his apartment and it kills him to know you’re hurt by him and your presence in the flat gone, at the next game some of the other WAGs give it to him and it sparks some realization about his words and there’s some feelings he that need to be expressed so he doesn’t lose you so he immediately sets off to your place post game…

Oh bb, thank you, it was so amazing! I absolutely love it 🥰 omg, oblivious!Willy is one of my favourites - and your idea… absolutely mad for it! Let’s face it, Willy’s the most adorable manly man, but he might not always be the sharpest when it comes to feelings - especially his own (I of course have no idea, I don't know him, and this is obv all in my head) 😉 So, of course I had to write a piece, and I really hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it ❤️

*

I Needed To Lose You To Love Me

William Andrew Michael Junior Nylander Altelius - the handsome Swedish lad with multiple names and an incredible talent for hockey.

There he was, flashing a massive grin on his stunning face while casually appearing on a Swedish talk show during the Global Series tour, where the team had been fortunate to play two NHL games in William's hometown: Stockholm.

You couldn't help but smile to yourself, hearing his laughter and noticing his effortlessly cool choice of attire: a white tank top that accentuated his toned torso and showcased his sculpted arms, almost resembling an ideal Ken doll. Oh, the audacity he had to look like that, you thought. If you hadn't had the privilege of touching and feeling his skin and physique, you'd think he was photoshopped.

Yet, despite the pleasant sight of the Swedish hockey star on TV, a tight knot formed in your stomach.

**

Several months back, you and William had transitioned your cherished friendship into something more.

It wasn't initially the plan, but amid the laughter, playful teasing, and banter that sometimes pushed boundaries, it was impossible to ignore the subtle flirtation and electric chemistry between you.

You both had a deep understanding of each other, and with your bond quickly evolving into a close relationship, it came as no shock when you eventually gave in to the enticing temptations and ended up spending a night together. One of many to follow.

And without a doubt, there were no regrets about it.

William wasn't just the most stunning and attractive man with his Greek god-like physique that you'd ever been intimate with; he was also the most attentive and considerate person during sex.

His primary goal was always to ensure your pleasure came first before his own – a non-negotiable rule. Rule number two: if he had the chance to make you reach several orgasms, he'd eagerly pursue it. And as for rule number three, no surface was off-limits for a passionate session. Though it all began in the bedroom, after a couple of months, nearly every available flat surface in both your homes had felt the touch of your skin. And the back seats of his car. Even one time, you almost did it at the rink, but strange noises had interrupted, and you’d decided it was too risky. And lastly, rule number four, arguably the most crucial – there was no room for shame.

Never once did William make you feel self-conscious about your body or anything else. He consistently praised your curvy figure, mentioning the elegance and strength of your legs, complimenting your soft skin, and offering sweet words about your captivating eyes and inviting lips. Even on your most challenging days, William had the knack for making you feel like the goddess he truly believed you were.

God, that Swede sure had a way with words.

But as much as you loved him for it, there was an equal measure of frustration building up within you.

What had started as a close-knit friendship with mind-blowing, no-strings-attached sex was beginning to stir up other emotions. Despite the mutual understanding that both of you had repeatedly mentioned – how comfortable it was to have a close relationship without defining it – you couldn't shake off what it had become.

You spent so much time together that your connection almost naturally transformed into something akin to a relationship. Yet, it never quite crossed that line.

Despite your unwavering support for him after every game, win or lose, staying over at his place several days a week, talking on the phone while he was on the road, the relationship between you seemed to stall, never progressing beyond its current state.

And one day, you realised you had to address the issue head-on.

Though you understood the risk involved – what if William didn't share the same thoughts? Yet, you also acknowledged that avoiding the topic wasn't the solution. You needed clarity about what this was between you and what aspirations, if any, you shared for its future.

You tried once to bring it up.

Softly and tentatively, you had asked, "Hey Willy, do you think maybe we should have a talk about this?"

"What talk?" he replied, clearly unaware of what you meant.

"You know, about where we're at and what we mean to each other?"

"I thought we agreed not to label anything?"

He gave you a puzzled look. There was no anger, annoyance, nor rejection in his expression. The thought just merely hadn't occurred to him.

Feeling disheartened, you withdrew your intentions.

"Oh... yeah, right. Forget I said anything."

And so, once again, you found yourself in emotional turmoil.

So tonight, watching the TV show was definitely emotionally draining.

Throughout this tour, you couldn't help but notice the immense attention William was receiving, and it became increasingly evident how much more famous he would become upon the team's return to Toronto.

Though, you'd always admired how effortlessly grounded and laid-back William remained, the nagging thought persisted that this newfound attention might alter things for him, and perhaps between the two of you.

The mere idea of confessing your deep feelings for him felt almost comical. How could he ever feel the same for you when he was who he was? With everyone competing for his attention, why would he choose you?

And as your mind grappled with its own conclusions, William's words tipped you over the edge when he was questioned about seeking a relationship.

"I'm not actively seeking one at the moment. I'm fully focused on the season ahead. It's a big year, and my attention is solely on that part. When the right person comes, it just happens and I’ll know; it's not something I'm stressing about."

‘When the right person comes.’

Right person.

Those words hit you hard, sinking your heart deep into your chest. You felt a sharp pang, your veins constricted, and your throat tightened.

In that very moment, it became painfully clear – you weren't the right person for him.

***

The Leafs had a fantastic run in Sweden during their Global tour, and naturally, you were ecstatic on their behalf.

However, after hearing William's remarks during the talk show, you made a decision to take a step back and give the both of you some space.

Besides, if he wanted more from your relationship, he would have shown it by now – right?

So, while the team was away on a roadie, you took the opportunity to gather all the items you'd left at his place over the time you spent together. Your clothes in the drawer, bathroom essentials, the line-up of shoes in the hallway – all your belongings.

You chose to create some distance, minimising contact to nearly nothing, allowing him to focus on hockey and whatever else he needed. Simultaneously, it gave you the opportunity to take care of your feelings and your own well-being.

However, your sudden lack of communication didn't escape notice, especially not when William walked into his condo and immediately sensed something was missing.

His bathroom now appeared empty without your items occupying space on the counter. The absence of laundry piled next to the bed, a discussion you'd previously had about who would take care of it, was noticeable. His fridge and snack cupboard stood empty since you hadn't restocked them.

In essence, every little hint of your presence was gone.

William immediately sensed that you were hurt. He knew you well enough to recognise that whenever you felt hurt, you tended to withdraw and focus on sorting through your thoughts.

However, he wasn't entirely certain what had caused it.

Suddenly, all your regular interactions – snapping, texting, sharing Instagram reels, and worst of all, the phone calls – were missing. He hadn't heard from you in almost a week, and he started to worry.

Moreover, he deeply missed you.

It wasn't just the fun you shared; he missed his dear friend and the person he looked forward to seeing at his home. The one he always yearned for after every road trip, the person he longed to touch, kiss, and hold in his arms. You were the one he could open up to about anything, from the highs and lows of hockey to personal talks about his family.

However, you weren’t there.

Understanding your need to seek space when something troubled you, William also maintained his distance. He didn't want to disrupt your need for peace and solitude, yet his thoughts were consumed by the question; what had happened during the tour to prompt your current behaviour?

In fact, he thought about it for the following days, until the next home game against the Panthers.

The game itself ended on a high note with a 2-1 victory, and William had a stellar performance, scoring a goal and adding an assist.

However, despite the positive outcome, his thoughts were elsewhere. You were still absent, not there to cheer alongside the wives and girlfriends as you typically would.

After the game, he still found himself unable to comprehend your behaviour, and as the players exited the locker room to meet their partners just outside, Stephanie couldn't help but notice the distant look in William's gaze.

However, when she asked him about the situation, he was utterly clueless, prompting her to let out a light chuckle.

"You really don't know, do you?” Stephanie offered him a friendly smile.

"What do you mean?" William remained completely unaware.

"She likes you, you dumbass,” Tessa chimed in with a laugh.

"What?"

"Yeah, she's totally into you... can't you see that?" Stephanie explained.

"No... I mean, maybe - I don't know..." William was bewildered.

Sure, you had mentioned something about discussing your relationship, but hadn't you both agreed a long time ago not to label anything? Or had things evolved without either of you realising it?

"Come on, man, she's crazy about you - and let's be real, you're head over heels for her too," Mitch chuckled in agreement.

"But then why distance hersself like this? She's been avoiding me for days…" William questioned, genuinely puzzled.

"Well, maybe it has something to do with what you said on that Swedish talk show - that you weren't seeking a relationship and that if you had met the right person, you'd already know," Stephanie explained, her tone hinting at the underlying issue.

The gears in William's mind were spinning rapidly.

"So, what she heard was…" Tessa tried to drop yet another hint.

"…that I wasn't interested in her because… I would already know," William breathed out heavily.

How could he have been so oblivious?

All this time, you had had feelings for him, wanting more from your relationship, and he hadn't picked up on it.

Moreover, by saying those things, he had inadvertently pushed you away, which explained your recent distance.

It all started to make sense.

William could feel his heart pounding as he dwelled on thoughts of you. He realised just how much he missed you and how deeply he longed to have you close to him. No, he simply couldn't afford to lose you like this. And he knew he had to do something.

"Fuck..." he muttered under his breath before hastily gathering his belongings and practically storming out of the arena.

***

Across the city, you had watched the game alone at home, still grappling with your heartache. And to lift your spirits, you pampered yourself with an indulgent at-home spa and self-care day.

While relaxing on your sofa with your favourite snacks and drinks, you attempted to distract yourself by watching your favourite comedy TV show. However, just as the episode was hitting its peak, it was abruptly interrupted by insistent knocking at your front door.

Despite not feeling up to seeing anyone at that moment, curiosity got the better of you, and with each successive knock, you reluctantly dragged yourself up from the sofa and walked steadily towards the door.

Swinging it open, your eyes widened in surprise as you found William standing there, slightly leaning against the door frame with one arm.

There was a moment of pausing between you, with you being taken aback by his unexpected appearance and William grappling to find the right words.

This was his moment to express his true feelings, to keep you from slipping away. However, before he could gather his thoughts, you broke the silence.

"Willy, what are you doing here?" Your voice quivered slightly, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes, as you struggled to contain your emotions.

William's expression portrayed nothing but sincerity and concern, his eyes showing genuine worry as he gently parted his lips to respond.

"I... I can't lose you," he whispered almost inaudibly.

"Willy..."

Interrupting you, he took a step closer, gently cupping your cheeks with his large hands as he drew nearer, your breaths mingling despite the difference in height.

He stood there, pulling you close, your gazes locking in a deep blue ocean.

"I'm sorry, I fucked up – I... I want you. I want us to be more than just friends."

"But you said –"

"I know what I said – but I was an idiot... I was too blind to see that you were right here, in front of me... y/n, you're everything I've ever wanted."

Initially hesitant to trust his words, as he continued to hold you tightly, showing no indication to let go, you began to believe in the sincerity behind his words.

Your eyes darted around, seeking any signs of dishonesty, but as they remained locked onto his, you found no trace of falsehood.

William was speaking the truth from his heart, and you wholeheartedly believed him.

In that moment, the only thing left to do was to lean up, meeting him halfway. Closing the distance between you, you connected your lips in a heartfelt moment filled with love.

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hello! I have two (separate) genres im interested in recs for, if youve got them (though combined would be fascinating tbh): Horror and farming sim-like ttrpgs. Horror im sure is fairly common, just not in my circles (which are adventure fantasy based); farming sim though seems like it may be rarer? for that id be interested in either solo or with 2+ people

Theme: Horror Games

Hello friend, I’m going to let one of my older posts do some of the heavy lifting, and point you towards the Small Town Farming collection I put up back in 2022.

You are absolutely right that Horror is much easier to recommend, but I’ll also try and put some quick recs for solo-farming type games at the bottom of this post.

1978: The Night They Came Home, by World Champ Game Co.

1978: The Night THEY Came Home is a 1-2 player horror roleplaying game telling the story of a fateful showdown between Survivor (a clever and resilient person caught up in horrifying circumstances) and Slasher (a legendary force of evil). Using a deck of poker cards, dual rule books, varied resources, and shared play space, players will recount the events of a forsaken Halloween, zooming closer into the haunting folklore of a small Midwestern town and its inhabitants, and culminating in a violent battle for survival.

Here is a game for solo gamers and folks who want a more intimate experience. If you’re a fan of Friday the 13th, this is probably in your wheelhouse! 1978 has a win condition, meaning that either the Survivor or the Slasher will come away as the victor, and the fact that this is also a game that depends on a deck of cards means that I think this might also be a good game for folks who also enjoy card games and board games.

Vast Grimm, by Infinite Black.

EACH MISERABLE DAY THAT PASSES, THE UNIVERSE INCHES CLOSER TO ITS INEVITABLE DEMISE.

Vast Grimm is a stand-alone, art-filled, punk-fueled OSR role-playing game about the few humans remaining in a universe being consumed by growing parasitic würms.

Are you a MAnchiNe ravaged by war, pieced together with remnants of bots and the little flesh left of your body? Maybe you're a twisted biochemist shoving needles into your arms in hopes that this next fix will be the one that saves you and what’s left of humanity? Or perhaps you are a soul survivor, like a cockroach, doing whatever is necessary to stay alive even if it means the rest of your Legion must perish.

This is a game about survival, no matter how gruesome things get, humanity must survive.

If you’ve heard of MÖRK BORG and thought it was cool, and if you want the same kind of energy but in a sci-fi future full of mutant animals and horrific parasites, then you might want to check out Vast Grimm. Your characters will have to ration food, energy and ammo in an unending battle against the worms. This game looks to have a large amount of support, from expanded content, to a number of adventures, to an online character generator. For over-the-top violence, plenty of alien goo, and shambling pathetic characters that look like they might fall apart at any moment, try out Vast Grimm.

The Lost Bay, by IKO.

What Is The Lost Bay? The Lost Bay is a Suburban Gothic tabletop RPG se199X. The Lost Bay is also the name of the setting where the game takes place: a coastal suburb inspired by films and media from the 80s and 90s. In it you play as a young person touched by the Weird, an ancient force that gives you supernatural powers. You roam the Bay with your gang, its malls, arcade games shops, skateparks and beaches, and fight the Horror that has awakened.

The Lost Bay is a game for folks who like their horror drenched in 90’s nostalgia. Characters are archetypal, and each one comes with special powers. Using your powers is exciting and effective, but also brings you closer to Scars, horrible truths about the world around you that will irrevocably change your hometown.

The Lost Bay is great for planning heists, rescuing friends, and trying to get out of dodge when the going gets rough. It’s not about fighting your way out, but more about trying to keep you and your loved ones safe. A lot of game designers have had a riot putting together adventures for this game, which you can check out in this game jam. The link above is for the Kickstarter, but in case you see this game after the campaign finishes, you can also check the game out on Itch.

Flyover Country, by Headstone Hills.

Fields of wheat and corn ripple in the wind, hungry eyes peering out between the stalks. Billboards along the road advertise strange and dangerous attractions. Smiles are too wide, manners too polite, secrets buried too deep. The neon light of a diner glows in the distance, but you may never reach its doors. An empty highway stretches out to the horizon, then wraps back in around itself. This is Flyover Country.

Flyover Country is a Midwest road-tripping horror role-playing game for 4-6 players: one gamemaster, or Watcher, and 3-5 players, or Drifters. It is designed to be played in one setting and without prep. It only requires paper, writing utensils, and a tarot deck.

This is a great option for a group where the GM is uneasy about doing a lot of prep. While one person acts as the Watcher, much of the events in this game are simply generated by drawing tarot cards from a deck. Characters will also draw from the Major Arcana to determine what their secret is - and what special ability it has given them. This is a game of hidden information, and grinding your characters down towards a tragic or grisly end.

Gravemire, by Clawhammer Games.

Gravemire is a tabletop roleplaying game about death, growth, horror, and survival, based in an original mechanical framework and set in the churning waters of the Louisiana bayou circa 1894. Players slip into the roles of outsiders arriving in the town of Scarstone, a rural outpost that has been warped by a terrible transformation known as the Convulsion. Once, Scarstone was surrounded by similar towns. The Bayou once had an end. Now, unknowable numbers of horrors seep through the uncharted backwaters, strange magic contorts reality to its whims, and the settlements that called Scarstone their neighbour jut half-ruined from the mire like bones from a wound. Times have changed.

Gravemire is a pretty brutal game, not afraid to kill your character and steal their soul. The town of Scarstone is a trap; your characters wandered in one day through curiosity or the desire for adventure, but leaving the town isn’t nearly as easy. Characters are built using a point-buy system, and as you play you may acquire more skill - but you will also acquire Aversions, which sap your Willpower and inhibit your ability to muster through the worst of what the game can throw at you.

If you want to check out an abbreviated version of the game, you can check out the Kickstarter playkit here.

Under the Autumn Strangely, by Graham Gentz.

"Under the Autumn Strangely" is a storytelling game of pastoral horror priming with anachronistic Americana set in a land that Never Was.

Inspired by "Over the Garden Wall" created by Patrick McHale, players collaboratively create a world uncanny and old. Codify and encourage tonal clash as the Three Roles meld whimsy, autumnal melancholy, and dread.

Take a wrong turn on a dusty road. Follow the sign past the red barn with peeling paint. Doubt your senses.

Get a little lost.

Welcome to the Never Was.

From what I understand about this game, it works best with three players, as there are three roles that the participants are expected to embody. One person plays the Arcadian, who embodies the landscape and setting. One person plays the Traveller, who acts as a “main” character. One person plays the Terror, which grows to dominate the story. Each role can only add to to one role’s suggestions, and can only deny the other’s. If you want to mix your horror with nostalgia and a romanticized vision of the rural USA, you might want to check out Under the Autumn Strangely.

The Facility, by Galen Pejeu.

You awaken, cold and in the dark. Fumbling around by low blue lights in a coffin shaped pod. You pull yourself out of the box, and in the dark see the faces of others. You are all wearing loose fitting white clothing and laceless shoes. Hospital patients? 

You peer into the dark, seeing little but hearing the sound of dripping, running water and distant machinery. You gather what you can, knowing that something is hunting you. It will be here soon.

Wait.

Can you remember who you are?

The Facility is a game for any number of players, taking on the role of ordinary people, stripped of their memories and trapped in a hostile and insane labyrinth of machines and interdimensional weirdness.

The Facility places your crew into an unknown place full of machines that want to kill you. It’s great for high-action scenes, and since your characters have lost their memories, I think the struggle to find pieces of who you are (or were) is a great way to zoom in and make the horror personal. The game is Breathless, so expect your character’s gear and/or abilities to slowly wear down over time, and for the staked to get bigger every time you pause to try and re-stock. If you want a science-fiction twist to your horror game, check out The Facility.

You Should Also Check Out...

My Shudders Rec Post

The Curse of the House of Rookwood, by Nerdy Pup Games.

Nature, Town, Farm, Villagers, by CardboardHyperfix.

Weeds in the Waste, by Meghan Cross

The Wandering Tea Garden, by AP.

Green Thumb, by Curious Frog.

The Bonsai Diary, by Sticky Doodler.

Iron Valley, by M.Kirin.

[lady-hestia-rose]

Persona 5 vs. Milgram: How One Story Succeeded at Portraying Teenage Sexuality Where the Other Failed

tw: child abuse, child ra**, sexuality and sexualization, abortion, s**cide

(Note: I am not personally a victim of abuse or ra**, so if I say something stupid here, please let me know. I am always open to criticism and I don't want to be an asshole.)

rare moment of @lady-hestia-rose having original thoughts and not just reblogging everything

So this year I discovered both Persona 5 and Milgram, and I love both of them sososo much. I've infodumped about both of them for hours and overanalyzed the writing and symbolism both stories use to no end. Persona 5 Royal is probably my favorite piece of media I've ever seen. Milgram has brought me and my best friend closer together as we rant about our murderer blorbos and how well-written they all are together.

However, playing Persona, to me, is like the video game equivalent of watching a Shakespeare play. It's a masterclass narrative, very entertaining, and full of depth and symbolism to analyze, but it also has a bunch of misogyny that can really sour the mood sometimes. This seems to be a problem that the Persona series has had for a while judging from my experience playing P4 and what I've heard about other games, but in 5 it's like eating the most rich, satisfying cake you've ever had and then finding out some jackass poured pebbles into it. The way Persona 5 treats its female characters is by far my biggest problem with the game, with one problematic aspect in particular being its sexualization of the high school female cast, particularly Ann Takamaki.

Ann's storyline is mostly focused around her looks and how her appearance affects the way people treat her. At first, this plotline is taken in a promising direction. Because of her Caucasian ancestry, Ann faces slut-shaming and fetishization from most of her peers at school. In addition, Ann, along with many other girls in the school, is targeted by her abusive gym teacher, Kamoshida. It's not entirely clear how far his advances went with Ann specifically, but she is shown to face sexual harassment and coercion from Kamoshida onscreen, and Ann's best friend Shiho attempts suicide after being all but stated outright to have been raped by Kamoshida. So Ann is a victim of sexual abuse and a witness of her friend's abuse as well. There are plenty of interesting and thoughtful angles you could take with this story. You could show her reconnecting with Shiho and bonding over their shared trauma, with them going through the healing process together. You could show her being initially distrustful of the other Phantom Thieves until their bond grows stronger and she is able to feel safe around them. You could give her an arc about reclaiming her sexuality and taking back this part of herself that was used to hurt her.

What does the game do?

Barely fucking anything.

Ann gets little to no character development post-Kamoshida. Instead, her Confidant storyline is about her modeling career, with only one conversation where she sees Shiho again even acknowledging her past trauma. The game also continues to make her the Ms. Fanservice of the team, with constant gross jokes about her "hot bod" and the male characters being pervy around her. She keeps getting put in skimpy outfits and having to use her sex appeal to seduce enemies, as if the previous storyline never even happened.

For obvious reasons, I am very uncomfortable with any storyline that sexualizes minors, even if it's for a reason that serves the story. This is a general rule I apply to most media I consume. I'm considering completely skipping the Dancing in Starlight spinoff game because of the content I've heard it contains. And it's not just something I apply to Persona. I stopped listening to the song "Romeo and CInderella" by doriko despite really liking it musically because I was very uncomfortable with the story of the song. It's a problem I run into a lot when consuming Japanese media. However, I was thinking about this stuff a couple days ago, and I realized something. There is one specific piece of media I really like that shows a minor with sexual imagery that actually doesn't make me sick to my stomach. That is the song "Tear Drop" from DECO*27's music project Milgram.

(Note for Milgram fans: This part is based entirely off my interpretation of the offical English translation of the lyrics. I have not watched the voice dramas.)

"Tear Drop" is about a 17-year-old girl named Kashiki Yuno. The music video has several shots of her wearing lingerie, and the song approaches themes of innocence, sexuality, and relationships. Not only do I like the song, it's arguably my favorite song in the entirety of Milgram (although Backdraft also puts up a good fight for that title).

(Note from the future: I have been corrected. Yuno is actually 18.)

Why is it that I like "Tear Drop" despite depictions of sexualized teenagers usually making me uncomfortable? What sets apart Yuno's story from Ann's that makes it work?

(Note: I'm about to discuss a controversial aspect of Japanese culture as a mostly uninformed American. I may be about to say something stupid. If you're more knowledgeable about this subject than I am and you notice me saying something stupid, I am so sorry. Please tell me.)

In Yuno's first song, "Umbilical," it was heavily implied that she was involved in the Japanese enjo kōsai industry, which is often translated as "compensated dating." Taking the definition from Wikipedia (the most scholarly of sources), it is "the practice of older men giving money and/or luxury gifts to attractive young women for sexual favors." The song also implies that Yuno's "murder" (the premise of Milgram is that all of the prisoners the songs are about have killed someone) was an abortion.

So, Yuno was raped. I think that's quite clear. If you're a minor and you have sex with an adult, you were raped. No further clarification needed. Hopefully I don't need to argue that Yuno's abortion was justified either.

After the release of "Umbilical," Yuno was overwhelmingly voted innocent by Milgram's official poll. She garnered a huge amount of sympathy from everybody in the audience, and people expressed their sympathy for Yuno quite often. However, this rhetoric often took on quite a patronizing tone, like calling her "poor baby" or regretting that the circumstances of her life "forced" her into compensated dating to make ends meet (which, from what I understand, isn't quite how enjo kōsai works, but that's another discussion for someone who knows more about this stuff than me).

In Milgram, the prisoners canonically can hear what the audience is saying about them. And Yuno was not pleased.

"Tear Drop" seems to be almost entirely addressed towards the audience. In the image above, we see Yuno removing the metaphorical rose-colored lens from the audience to see the real her. The lyrics call out everyone who infantilized and looked down upon her, drawing similarities between the people she dated and the viewers. Here are some examples from the English translated lyrics: "'Poor naive little girl'? So off the mark, what's it to you? It's just absurd"

"Don't weigh me measure me against your morality Just shut it, will you? You know it all Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT? I'm so not that Just shut it, will you? You know it all" "Caressing me with your 'Good girl' Who needs your self-righteous pardon?

I'm the one who chose, let you and you and you all in Happy or sad? Why decide? Where'd you get your half-baked sense of justice So nauseating...so creepy...will you please disappear"

Yuno is sick of everyone else making judgements about her and trampling over her own desires and wishes, and in this song she gives the middle finger to everyone who did so.

Generally, I am against portraying sexualized minors in media. However, I think it's important to realize that teenagers are not completely sexless beings. They have their own wants and desires, they want to be sexy, and it is important for them to have their own safe sexual exploration. And like it or not, sex has undoubtedly affected Yuno's life as a rape survivor. And unlike Persona with Ann, Milgram has the respect to not just pretend this part of Yuno's life never happened and allows her to be sexual on her own terms, instead of just pandering to the male gaze.

I grew up in the LDS Church. While I have not gone through anything on her level, I see parts of my own story in Yuno as someone whose sexuality was used to hurt me and who has coped with the trauma by redefining my sexuality as my own. I find "Tear Drop" incredibly inspiring, and I think that's what sets Milgram apart from Persona in its approach to teenage sexuality.

This is the second-to-final shot of Tear Drop. Her face is full of relief, with her clutching the jacket like a comforting blanket. Not everything she has faced is fixed now, and her teenage naivety is still clear in many of the lyrics. One song didn't melt all her trauma away. But she's getting there. She's making progress one step at a time. The final shot of the song is her pulling the jacket in, covering more of her body as she rests.

In Persona 5, Ann's sexuality is used to objectify her. In Milgram, Yuno's sexuality is used to empower her. That's what makes the difference.

[amyysfics]

skz - "bet."

pairing: felix x bff!gn!reader warnings: fluff, pining, reader eats popcorn summary: you make felix watch your favourite movie word count: 850

©amyysfics (2023) All Rights Reserved - Reposting/Modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Giggles, snorting and all kinds of laughter filled the room. You were barely able to catch your breath, when a voice broke through the sound of heavy breaths and occasional giggling. "What the fuck kind of movie are you watching, that is making you laugh this hard?", your best friend asked.

The both of you sat in a video-call on Discord. He had been playing a game, which you assumed must have been League of Legends, judging by his continuous screaming, "Noooo!" and "What are you doing? We had it!". You had turned on your favorite movie eventually. None of this was a rare occurrence. You hung out with Felix this way whenever possible - both of you doing your own thing while being in each others company.

"I'm watching what is possibly the funniest movie ever, thank you very much for asking.", you looked straight at the camera, poking out your tongue. How dare he judge this amazing piece of media? Out fo the corner of your eye you could see your blue-haired friend roll his eyes. Though, before he had the chance to tease you back, you thought of a deal. "Why don't you watch it with me? I can restart it. And if you end up liking it and enjoying your time, I will treat you to a smoothie!"

The idea made Felix' eyes light up. He loved having movie nights, especially with you. And he was was being honest with himself, he couldn't give less of a shit what you guys were doing, as long as he got to spend time with you - his best friend, that he just so happened to have a not so tiny crush on. She he did what every sane idiot in love with his best friend would do; He responded with as little words as he could as to not let you hear the shakiness of his voice, "Bet."

You left your seat for a minute to grab a fresh bottle of water and Felix used the time to finish (and lose) the round of League he was still in. It took you a few moments to come back, so he made sure to to set his screen up properly. He could click on one of the images to have them fill up almost the entire screen, the rest of it being smaller at the bottom. After making everything look the way he wanted to, he noticed you walking back - a bottle of water in one hand and a bowl of fresh popcorn in the other.

The Australian silently cursed himself for agreeing to this. It wasn't the first time you watched a movie together, but he would usually be the one streaming it - the movie taking up his entire monitor. Today, for the first time, he had the chance to observe your reactions. He noticed the way your eyebrows scrunched together mere moments before you laughed. He saw the way you attempted to hide your shy smile as the two main characters kissed. He could even tell that one strand of your hair seemed to be bothering you - constantly tickling your neck. Felix knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from brushing it away if he actually sat next to you.

"Yongbok!", your less than quiet voice ripped him out of his thoughts. You glared at the boy, or at least it looked that way to him. "Were you even watching?", you clicked with your tongue, fishing through the last few pieces of popcorn for the best one. "I was! I loved it!, he lied. Your best friend put barely any of his attention towards the movie. You smiled a little, popping the chosen popcorn-piece in your mouth, "Right? The part where the cat rolls in the snow is so good!" Felix nodded immediately, "It's probably the best part."

"You couldn't stop feeling your heartbeat get faster, almost pounding out of your chest, knowing you caught him in a lie. "Lix, first of all, there wasn't a single cat in the movie and it's set in summer. And second-", you leaned closer to the camera, "I can see the reflection of your screen on your computer-case a little bit. You had my camera on full-screen-mode the entire time.

His body reacted faster than his brain allowed him to come up with a witty response. A blush crept up to the tip of his ears in an instant. And even his neck turned about three shades darker. He tried to think of a response - any explanation, but he couldn't get a single word to come out.

"You know what?", you broke through the silence, smiling, "I'll still treat you to that smoothie. I mean it looks like you had a good time, no? Pick you up tomorrow at five?", you winked. When did you get so smooth?

Felix' blushed even harder at this chance of a date with you, even that was even possible. But what he didn't know, was that you were just as excited about it, as he was. So he gathered all the courage he could.

"Bet."

@bokkiesplace @notastraykid @hee0soo @moon0fthenight @bbyquokka @strawberry31 @weird-bookworm

[cornyonmains]

I am SO getting the vibe from Mew's character that he and Top are going to wind up in the 'they deserve each other' category by the end of the series.

Firstly, anyone who thinks Mew didn't 100% plan on backing out last minute on Top has not figured out the game that's being played here, because that was part of Mew's screening process. He wanted to see how Top would respond, he also wanted to bait him in so he could accomplish two things, the first is the it gives Top time to get to know him, and the second is it gives Mew time to figure out Top. See, Mew likes stories, he understands cause and effect. He understands Top's archetype in the gay hierarchy almost immediately, and knows he needs time to figure out which buttons to push. And he does.

Mew picks up fairly quickly that Top likes the dichotomy being created between them, the lothario meets boy next door, it's very storybook, it's what he understands. It's what he plays into, but not so much so that he becomes a parody, because he knows Top's intrigued by how self-possessed and sure of himself he is as well. He's also likely aware of how well-positioned he is to occupy a place in Top's life, because Top comes from a family with money, he's in his final year of college, and the reality of that is when Top does decide on someone to take home to meet the parents, it's not going to be someone like Boston. It was never going to be someone like Boston. It's going to be someone like Mew with his perfect grades, flawless social reputation, and easy-listening music. Mew knows how this game is played.

Except, he really doesn't. And that's where shit will inevitably get toxic. No amount of reading or manipulation is going to prepare him for what happens when he catches feelings, and Top manages to wrestle some of the control Mew has back. He's going to be completely in over his head when control is lost, and emotions come into play. Because emotions are what Top understands. Because he'll know exactly how to use Ray and Boston to drive a wedge between them, and get Mew to himself. And at the end of the day, Mew's sensitivity will probably see him choose Top over Boston and Ray, because he's not going to be able to shake the attachments that form after sleeping with him easily.

And let me tell you something, Boston and Ray are sure to be far from the only problems. If this is as true to the queer community as I think it's going to be, we're talking about a small community. One where certain figures are considered like... the top tier. Two well-known and desired figures in the community coming together like the next Bennifer? Oh that's gonna make waves that extend well beyond Boston and Ray. We're talking about a community where locking down certain people is front page news. We have our "It" girls, same as straight folks.

I haven't been so excited for a piece of queer media since Queer As Folk, and I mean it wasn't actually good. It was Russell T Davies using fan-fiction tropes to get good looking guys to act out his thinly veiled sex fetishes, while throwing queer women the most boring bone of all time. Only Friends is both sexy and infinitely more watchable and it's only been a single episode. I'm ready to commit to six seasons and a movie of these messy whores.

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 36: THE GAME OF HOPE (2018)

1. The Introduction

Well, hello there, Citizens and Neighbors! I’m alive and back with a review, as promised. (Very happy about it too because I missed you!)

Now, to cut to the chase, @josefavomjaaga was the first person who told me about the novel’s existence, which had me a bit intrigued already due to my constant search for new media to consume and review.

However, my dear friend @tairin helped seal the deal and officially put this particular piece onto my review bucket list, as a physical copy of the book (in Russian) was her present for my birthday last year. I read the book back then but, due to all the other reviews and personal life stuff, kept putting away this particular review.

Fortunately, I finally found free time to catch up on the piece and post it, so here we go.

Before we proceed, here’s a link for anyone who wants to download the book in English. As mentioned, it’s available in Russian too, but Russian-speaking members of my audience will need to purchase the epub or a physical copy to be able to read it. I’m not sure if it’s available in any other languages.

Also, this review is dedicated to @josefavomjaaga , @tairin and @frevandrest ! Okay, let’s. Fucking. Begin.

2. The Summary

“The Game of Hope” tells the story of Hortense de Beauharnais, Napoleon’s stepdaughter, and her coming of age journey, including crushes, rivalries, and her life at Madame Campan’s boarding school for girls.

Although I loathe Hortense with a passion, review material is review material and I was still intrigued by the premise, so let’s see how this premise plays out in the book!

3. The Story

Generally, I enjoy coming of age stories and YA novels and, luckily, this one is no exception. It is melodramatic, but it’s justified because Hortense is a teenager and a dramatic person, so her POV having melodrama is expected.

It’s a slice of life kind of story and most political events happen in the background but still realistically affect the characters, which is realistic and very neat!

Also, this is by far the only book where anti-Frev sentiments don’t give me an urge to flip the fuck out, since Hortense lost her father and almost lost her mother during Frev and is far too naive and young to understand politics! Of course she will think Frev is evil and of course she will believe that being noble would be enough to have her executed!

The pacing is great too. There are some time skips but the author clearly knew when to do them and when to slow down. Now complaints here.

If you are craving a story with typical teenage melodrama involving historical figures, then I guess it’s a book for you.

4. The Characters

I don’t like Hortense as a person here, but as a character she’s realistic and nuanced. She has the selfish and bratty nature that would stick way into adulthood, but she genuinely loves Eugene and her friends at the boarding school. Also her resentment towards her stepfather and the Bonaparte siblings is quite realistic, as from her point of view they’re just asses towards her mother for no reason.

Caroline Bonaparte starts off as a rude bitch (also thanks to Hortense incorporating her own bias), but luckily she becomes more and more nuanced along the way and becomes sort of a frenemy to Hortense. Caroline clearly doesn’t enjoy studying under Madame Campan and wants out of there. Perhaps due to my bias, or because we don’t see her POV, Caroline grew on me more than Hortense.

Eugene (I HAVE to mention him) appears later on in the story and, as expected, is an absolute cinnamon roll.

Josephine is idealized in the story by Hortense, but she isn’t flawless and keeps trying to find Hortense a husband in the beginning. However, she also helps Caroline and Joachim marry, which makes their treatment of her later on a fucking dick move.

Émilie, Hortense’s cousin and close friend, is slightly older and already married (not that unheard of back then), but is still a teenager going through the typical motions common for that age. She is more mature than Hortense and feels trapped in a loveless marriage with Captain Lavalette (no idea who that is).

Campan is very strict but genuinely cares about her students. I liked the part where she has The Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen attached to the back of a portrait of Marie-Antoinette and flips the portrait when inspection arrives. Simple, but quite clever!

5. The Setting

No complaints here! Gorgeous descriptions that are very much historically accurate, and Hortense’s POV is conveyed masterfully, which aids the story greatly.

6. The Writing

Simple yet beautiful, without diving too much into purple prose territory and doesn’t shy away from mentioning or implying normal things like periods or sex. I can sense some pearl clutching might happen, but personally I think these topics should be normalized so I don’t complain. Also, my copy graciously included translations of Italian phrases, which is doubly awesome!

7. The Conclusion

Overall, an excellent, overall accurate and believable story! I highly recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about Hortense or just looking for a Frev/Napoleonic coming of age story without too much action.

Alright, on this note, I’m concluding today’s meeting of Jacobin Fiction Convention. Stay tuned for updates, guys!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

[starfallpod]

Hello hello everyone! We’re kicking off our crowdfunding efforts TOMORROW, and to help get everyone excited, I thought I’d give a little rundown of what you can expect from all our reward tiers!

$5 Tier - Potato Skins

At this level, you’ll get a social media shoutout with a personalized ticket, as seen below.

Nifty, huh?

$15 Tier - Hearty Stew

You’ll get access to the first level of our digital bundle, which comes jam-packed with Valentines, our tarot cards, recipe cards from the cast, and TWO whole blooper reels!

Oh - and you get a cover art sticker!

$30 Tier - Biscuits (Chocolate Ones)

You’ll get a digital copy of “Troupes On Carts,” which is a 30+ TTRPG hack of how to play your game in the world of Starfall! You also get physical copies of our tarot cards, an “I Sword of Like You” Valentine, and a backer-exclusive letter from your friend, Fennel! AND - a secret bonus sticker!

What is ON this secret bonus sticker, you may ask? Well, you’ll just have to order and find out 😉

$50 tier - Sal’s Famous Everything Sandwich

You’ll get detailed digital annotated scripts of two episodes - Act I, Scene ii, where Leona first met the troupe, and the as of yet unreleased Act I, Scene xiii. You’ll also get a physical, handwritten recipe card!

What kind of recipe? Well, there’s a few in rotation, including my family favorite pasta sauce and something from my grandmother’s own recipe cards simply called “Delightful Salad.”

$100 Tier - Tea with Elsibel

Hey, did you know we recorded a nearly 3-hour talkback about Scenes viii & ix? Well, at this tier, you’ll get to hear ALL of that and become a card carrying member of the Hayver Apologists.

You’ll also get one of the original handwritten pages from a Starfall first draft notebook, AND a handwritten copy of the letter from your friend, Fennel!

$250 tier - MEATS!

Join at this level and you’ll get to add a piece to Starfall (and Falsten’s) canon. You’ll get to name a saint or design a play that’ll show up in a future episode of Starfall! You’ll also get a copy of a Starfall episode of your choosing on cassette. Because physical media good.

$1000 - Fried Potatoes

This is it - the best we can offer. At this tier, you can finally “Let Dalyn Say Fuck,” aka choose a character this season and let them say 1 (one) real-world swear. Oh, and I suppose you’ll be an executive producer all season as thanks for that.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! You’ll also get physical copies of “Troupes On Carts,” our annotated scripts, AND, I will send you one of the full handwritten notebooks I used to write first drafts of Starfall episodes in - a truly one of a kind item.

So, uh…yeah. Hope that sounds fun!

[a-dragons-journal]

I really hate writing posts like this on mobile, but I’m not going to get the chance to write it on desktop for almost a week, so I’m writing this in Google Docs and copying it over and I apologize for any missed formatting errors.

I’m having a real weird time with Frontiers - not bad, necessarily, but weird - and I want to document it to some extent, so here we are. Pretty major game spoilers ahead. Also a quick warning that I am going to get a little mean about trophy hunting; I am aware that on Earth this is a somewhat more nuanced issue (and I really don’t want to get into it tbh), but I am letting myself get emotional here because that’s frankly just not true on Pandora because the situation is different.

This game is giving me a really weird experience, because it’s like… the story is meh until it is not. I’m mostly having a normal time, until I very abruptly am not.

The first round was during the Zeswa clan storyline, when you get into the Lodge. For those who haven’t played or haven’t gotten this far yet, while exploring the Upper Plains and talking with the Zeswa, you learn that the RDA has been poaching animals, hunting and trapping them en masse to ship them or their body parts back to Earth to sell for big bucks, because the people back on Earth will pay massive amounts of money to be able to show off anything Pandoran - often taking whole carcasses, but sometimes just stripping the pieces they can sell and leave the rest to rot. There’s a log from an interrogation wherein they captured a Zeswa and tortured them to try and get them to reveal the location of the graveyard of the zakru, the enormous animals the Zeswa live in symbiosis with, so they can steal the bones and tusks. And when you get into the Lodge, the center of Harding’s poaching operation, there are stuffed animals and animal parts on display as trophies.

I cannot express properly the rage that filled my chest and my throat when I saw that. The outlying camps, with their slaughtered fa’li and aywinzaw in piles, were bad enough. But the Lodge itself, the heads and bodies and bones put on display, animals that were not killed for food or population culls but simply because they could - my throat fills with fire even thinking back on it now. This is not Eywa’s way. This is deeply, deeply wrong.

All right. That’s fine. That’s fine. I can be normal about this. This is a deeper anger than I have gotten out of most media, but it’s fine.

And then there was the second round, during the Kame’tire clan storyline. And let me just say, hoo boy the story very suddenly picks up during the Kame’tire section. There is a segment where you find the place where you and other Sarentu children were held and processed before you were taken to the school the game initially picks up in, where you see what was left behind - cages and shackles the Sarentu were held in, Sarentu toys and clothes and ornaments that were stripped from the children, disinfectant and stark communal showers that were used to strip even their clan’s scent from them. The place is abandoned and empty and hollow, and I… I had to actually take a step back and take a break from it for a minute partway through because I was getting overwhelmed and starting to want to cry, even despite being on call with friends and having them chattering about something unrelated and cheerful in my ear. I felt trapped and frightened and horrified and haunted by memories. And I - look. I am a person that feels a lot with regards to fictional media. I have often said that my emotions are too big for my little body, and fiction is my safe place to feel at 100% capacity where it doesn’t actually have consequences. I am familiar with the emotional impacts fiction can have on me, and they can be big.

I had to actually stop and take a step back and walk away for a couple of minutes and get a snack and engage in an unrelated conversation for a bit to remind myself this was fiction and wasn’t actually happening. I have never had to do that.

And when I escaped that horrible, horrible place and escaped the yavä’ - I came across a Na’vi camp almost immediately and it was horribly jarring, seeing all these people just… living their lives. Talking amongst themselves. Sitting by the fire, sharing food and stories and music. I had to walk back out of the camp and call my ikran just to stroke her head and, in my head at least, hug her and comfort myself for a bit before I could go back in.

And then, after a bit to recover - normal game experience again. Normal level of investment. Normal level of emotional impact.

So… I still don’t think I am Sarentu (or Na’vi of any kind), although the specificity of what hit me that hard makes me pause to wonder for a moment, but hoo boy my alterhumanity related to this world is definitely impacting my emotional experience of this game periodically and it is a wild ride. I am not Na’vi, but being of Eywa, I can live in a Na’vi’s footprints completely enough, at least temporarily, to Know what it is to live this life and walk this path.

That’s the odd thing, about having a hearthome which is so integrally connected that the interconnection is part of the hearthome feelings - I am not Na’vi, but also I know what it is to be Na’vi. I am not ikran, but also I know what it is to be ikran. I am not - you get the idea. I am not, but also I kind of am.

It’s… interesting. And hoo boy it’s a lot in this case. I’ll be fine, but man.