#from what i hear the last season of Castle was absolute shit and he was in charge of that too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefirsthogokage · 3 years

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Why did you rage quit the rookie?

(this turned out longer then I meant it to be, but I kept remembering reasons why I hate this show now)

The writing went down the drain. Hard. I was so pissed because it started off well in season one. Granted, it had a couple big ridiculous things that happened, but overall it was pretty good. Especially for a freshman show. One of the best I'd seen in years.

Then season two came along and it became progressively/exponentially worse.

Obviously going for shock value over good content with extreme circumstances in most episodes, often not making sense (why the fuck did Nolan's son and his girlfriend go to that trailer park?)

poor plot lines with female characters (Lopez and Wes getting engaged after only being together a few months, Lopez trying out to be pretty damn toxic and "I was poor, you should have been happy you were rich" and "sorry you're embarrassed of me (which is the same abousive shit my mother would pull), Grace going back to her ex because they had a kid even though their marriage sucked and it was outlined earlier in the season that was a bad idea, Jessica killing that one guy and that was never followed through on and her being psycho and following Nolan around and that never being addressed, Chen never given psychological damage she should have absolutely had even of she did self-therapy, Rachel getting her "dream job" in NY and the writers couldn't even take the time to tell us what said dream job was.)

Poorly planned plots in general (stunningly so)

Most characters not feeling like a proper continuation of who they were in season one. Going a ong with that, Chen and Bradford being way too close basically over night when that isn't natural progression from season one

I was for Chenford after season one, but they escalated it in a very cheesy and non true to character way, which also happened way too quickly. So many of their interactions felt too romantically tinted when they shouldn't have been there yet. HEART EYES ALL THE TIME! Like, I stayed watching the show for them until I couldn't tolerate anymore. Then I tried staying for Nyla and just gave up because I hated the rest of the show so much

obvious lack of research (the serial killer with pathology that made no sense, never finding out the connection between him and the lady, the guy apparently also got a job a prison with a stolen social security number from a disabled person - both of which would have been flagged in a background check!!! Such a genuinely poor writing episode and the season just went even more downhill from there)

Nolan being the hero even more in most of the episodes, and his intellect or lack thereof being a plot device

not letting Chen actually suffer from PTSD like she should have and just had her basically quickly move on in an impossible way (I am including this twice, thank you)

throwing her into a relationship with a guy who was a jackass and went all "leave my woman alone" on Bradford when she absolutely didn't need help

Jackson going to a very public premiere with his actor boyfriend even though he was an active cop. What the actual fuck were they thinking with that? Jackson isn't that dumb, he would have never done that.

this show clearly is not keeping a a continuity or character bible of any sort, getting basic facts of their characters wrong (especially Tim, I just can't remember the specific thing that it was, but it could have been inconsistencies in his wounds. Now that I think about it, Chen said something about him getting shot more then once and stabbed and the only time we ever saw evidence of any injury was after he was shot in episode one. Which actually brings me to my next point...)

they never had Tim have a scar from his gunshot wound

Tim getting his 12-year-old-acting girlfriend out of trouble when she bats her eyes at him. He shouldn't have even been dating her in the first place. No way Tim would have ever dated a friend of his rookie. Completely unprofessional of him, in a way that was not believable for his character.

No way Chen could have been an undercover cop after that documentary episode. And if that episode was mean to be a stand alone, it should have never been in the show. That episode also had continuity issues, and that's not including the absolute insanity of whatever the fuck they did to Stirling. (That poor actor, he really wanted to come back and continue the story with his character and Jackson)

THE WHOLE FUCKING BULLSHIT TIMELINE AND PACING OF THE SHOW! examples: They made the stupid thing current to whatever the real world year was. The problem with that was they had an in-universe schedule set up. The first two seasons should have spanned from like October 2018 to October 2019, and yet, in the episode where Wes got stabbed (earlyish season 2), it was November 2019 when it should have been around like May, 2019. They said it was 2021 early in S3 when it should have never been around that time. Infact, it was supposed to be during their last 30 days of their rookie year, meaning THAT should have been October or November 2019. The time pacing of this show is so bad. They should have done a real time skip in season 3, instead, the first NINE FUCKING EPISODES WERE THOSE LAST 30 DAYS! And, according to someone else's math, because of the bullshit with the timeline, Lopez was pregnant for 11 months. Absolutely fucking insane. Timelines and timetables that are so thoroughly screwed up in a show that it's THAT obvious they are flying by the seat of their pants are just impossible for me to stand. That is so dumbfounding to see on any tv show and alone enough for me to rage quit. It's so bizarre they stuck to a timeframe in-universe, then so obviously screwed up what year it was every damn season at least once (in S3 2-3 times).

Just such piss poor writing. No real planning ability. No writing talent left in that writer's room after season one. Just people who throw words down on paper and hope that people will like it. Which so many people still do for some reason?

There are so many other things wrong with this show, but those are the ones I remember off the top of my head. Granted, a couple are second hand because I stopped watching after the rookies did stuff with the DEA. I couldn't watch that. That was such and insane idea. OH AND THEM GOING ON A FUCKING SECRET OP? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

And that's not including what I've heard was their "After School Special"-style take on fighting racism in the police force.

And I don't always pick up on these kinds of things specifically. I generally don't pick up on missteps like that in plot or timelines or whatnot or just things that even someone who doesn't have much specified knowledge in certain things should miss (the "job at a prison" thing I mentioned earlier). I'm good at telling the chemistry between actors, - or lack there of, - not the other stuff. When it's so bad I - of all people - am noticing things that are normally pointed out to me, a lot of fucking up is happening. In multiple departments. Like, normally when anything happens in other shows, it isn't as blunt, on the head, painfully obvious, and frequent as it has been in this show.

So, yeah, if you made it though my rant, congrats. If you don't get irritated with the show and bullshit that happens in it now, power to you I guess.

I really wished I could still hate watch this show, but it checked way too many "this is exceptionally poor craftsmanship: tv show edition" boxes for me to put up with it anymore. It was so promising at first, even with it's various hiccups (that I didn't notice until later on all of them) but I hadn't seen a show crash that hard in quality before. I mean, since then I had to experience the travesty that was Supernatural going from 15x18 to 15x19 and 15x20, but that was after I gave up on The Rookie.

Anywho, I would say I hope that answers your question anon, but I have little room for doubt that it didn't.

#asks #anon ask #antitherookie #tv show asks #tv show ask #fuck alexi for all of his bullshit #from what i hear the last season of Castle was absolute shit and he was in charge of that too #the rookie

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

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The undatables as uncles need more love, so... What if L!MC and the rest of the children just go to the castle or purgatory Hall for a few days because the Bros got tired or just need a day of rest. Idk this makes no sense

Yes, more uncle shennaniganery!

A Day at the Demon Lord’s Castle

Masterlist

It was Demon-Flu season, and no demon in the House of Lamentation was spared from its sniffly wrath. It started with Belphegor waking up and sneezing right next to Beel, and it was all downhill from there.

Notice how I said “demon”, the dear little Half-Demons were all fine thanks to the efforts of M!MC who for some reason had bought a bunch of plague doctor masks the week prior.

“Why... why did you buy these?” L!MC asked, their voice muffled by the badly fitting mask.

“I saw em’ in a store window and I decided I wanted them.”

Three out of four of the Brat Brigade (plus the cat) were on their way to the Demon Lord’s castle to stay until the house’s little epidemic passed. Lord Diavolo had oh so graciously asked (begged) to be allowed to host the kids for a while.

What could go wrong?

Many things could go wrong.

For one, the first thing A!MC saw when they first arrived, was a rat. Not one of the gross scary ones, but one of the absolutely adorable ones that turns you into the ‘gently holds’ meme.

“I’m going to call you Templeton!” “*squeak*” “Yay!”

Barbatos of course came to greet the guests, and explained that they have a little... issue with rats at that moment. Butler-dad assured them it wouldn’t be a problem, just if the children saw any of the vermin running around to tell him and he’d dispose of them.

Templeton the rat was promptly hidden in one of A!MC’s pockets.

The Purgatory Hall crew was there as well, apparently Solomon decided to make brunch and Purgatory Hall’s kitchen exploded.

Lord Diavolo finally makes his entrance and declares that everyone should unpack and relax, his gorgeous/terrifying castle was their gorgeous/terrifying castle.

“So,” L!MC rested their head on their hand and rotated the knight in their free hand as they stared half vacantly at the chess board. “Did you take care of the snake in the labyrinth, Dia?”

Diavolo lit up when he heard his seldom used nickname. “Well, Henry 1.0 isn’t exactly bothering anyone down there at the moment, and I don’t think Levi is equipped to deal with a fifty foot long untamed snake.”

L!MC smirked and placed their knight down. “Yeah, at least not right now.”

The moment L!MC removed their hand from the knight, Diavolo moved his bishop and took their queen. Shit.

“Aw man...” L!MC mumbled, after a cursory look at the board, the poor thing realized that they had been screwed for the last five turns and Diavolo was just prolonging the match.

“Don’t feel too bad, L!MC.” Diavolo gave them a pat on the head. “Lucifer can’t beat me in chess either.”

“Hmph.” They wouldn’t admit it but... that did make them feel a little better.

“That reminds me, I have a favour to ask of you.” L!MC almost outwardly drooped at the mention of... ugh... a task. “Do you mind reviewing some dad-jokes with me to make sure they are suitably dad-like?”

“...what?” Quickly remembering they were in the presence of honest to God (poor choice of words... uh... Grandfather?) royalty, L!MC straightened their posture and tried their best to look respectfully curious instead of completely and utterly confused. “Pardon?”

“M!MC and several others have said I have ‘dad vibes’, so I’m leaning into it!” Diavolo smiled so brightly if L!MC hadn’t been the child of the Morning Star they may have been blinded. “My father wasn’t one for jokes, so I’d like to run these by you before I say them to others.”

Suppressing a snort of laughter, L!MC nodded. “Go for it, I’m all ears.”

Diavolo pulled out quite the long list and began to read out loud... L!MC quickly realized that this may take longer than expected. “Okay, to begin: I’m afraid for the calendar, it’s days are numbered.”

“Oh not-that-good-Lord...” L!MC muttered under their breath.

The dad jokes continued, some were funny, some were absolutely awful, some sounded like they were made for children in the Victorian era... overall, it was a good- holy shit that took over two hours...

“Finally,” Diavolo squinted at the last joke. “I went to the liquor store and they asked for my ID, while I fumbled for my wallet, my Blockbuster card fell out, the cashier said ‘nevermind’.”

L!MC furrowed their brows. “What’s a Blockbuster?”

“That was what I was hoping you’d explain to me... is it a dad requirement to get a card for that establishment..?”

“Mmmm...” L!MC pursed their lips. “Probably not. I mean, Lucifer doesn’t have one.”

“That’s true...” Diavolo looked at the clock, then stood up and began to shoo L!MC out the door. “Look at me, taking up all your time that you should be spending with your friends. Thank you for your help, L!MC, now don’t let me keep you any longer!”

Giggling slightly, L!MC shot a wave over their shoulder as they left the room. “Bye dad! See you later!”

They were half way down the hallway when they realized their verbal slip-up.

“Oh.” L!MC’s face burned with embarrassment. “Shit.”

Dad-volo was totally delighted and very cool about it, don’t worry.

M!MC and Bean the cat were hanging out with the angels in the very pretty royal gardens when that mess was going down.

Luke was being absolutely adorable and was snuggling Bean while he and Simeon looked at the pretty plants.

In traditional M!MC fashion, they were engaging in an average game of ‘lightly tease the chihuahua’.

“It’s just... you’re so small.” M!MC took the opportunity to rest their arm on Luke’s head as he stopped to observe a colour changing flower bush. “How many years have you been this height? 100? 200?”

M!MC had taken the news that Luke was older than them in stride, finding new opportunities to make the little angel do his adorable angy face. They were obviously succeeding in their jerkwad-endeavours as Luke pushed their arm off and fixed his now smushed hat.

“You be quiet! I’m perfectly average height for an angel my age.” Luke huffed, petting the cat, who hissed at M!MC. The stupid cat absolutely hated them for some reason, it brought L!MC never ending joy to bring the cat into their shared room and watch it hiss and swipe at them. L!MC should really show some more respect for their older cousin!

“Are angels normally the size of a fifth grader?” M!MC snickered. “Is Simeon considered a freak for his height?”

“No, M!MC, I am not.” Simeon chuckled. “Rest assured, Luke will grow.”

“Yeah! And I’m sure I’ll be taller than you!” Luke added.

M!MC smirked deviously and pinched Luke’s cheek. “Well, I’ll have to take advantage of your smallness and baby face while I still can!”

“Hey! Stop that!” Luke tried to swat their hands away, but M!MC had inherited their father’s reflexes and his penchant for being a little shit every once and a while, so Luke’s swatting only resulted in more pinches.

“Never!” M!MC teased. “Surrender to your smallness!”

“No!”

Luke took off deeper into the garden, surprisingly quickly considering he was holding a cat that was hellbent on clawing M!MC’s eyes out. M!MC laughed and gave chase.

“Luuuuuuuke! Come back! I promise I’ll be nice!” M!MC lied right through their teeth like the little heathen they were, as they ran down the path they noticed that they couldn’t see Luke up ahead anymore, nor could they hear him yelling for Simeon to make them quit their teasing.

“Heheh...” M!MC wheezed as they stopped to catch their breath. “Luke c’mon, don’t be a baby. It’s real immature to hide like that!”

There was no response, which made M!MC just a little nervous, just a smidge. The plants had changed from pretty flowers and gorgeous trees to a much darker clump of vines and twisting branches. It all seemed to be the same plant, M!MC noted as they scanned the area for any sign of Luke and the cat, or Simeon for that matter.

“Luke? Bean? Come on! Haul your asses over here, this isn’t funny any-” M!MC paused and looked down as something coiled around their left leg. “-more?”

The vine tightened and yanked them backwards, M!MC fell right to the ground and clawed at the path to stop them getting pulled into the brush. Another vine wrapped around their right leg, any resistance that digging their nails into the ground was nullified as both vines yanked M!MC into the bushes.

Well, this was a nightmare of epic proportions. The vines continued to wrap around the helpless half demon until they were completely unable to move. As M!MC looked around frantically, they made eye contact with an all too familiar pair of blue eyes. Ah! There was Luke!

“Mmmph!” Only Luke’s eyes were visible, but the eyes are the gateway to the soul or whatever, and M!MC took an educated guess and decided that Luke’s soul wasn’t too happy with them.

“Mmth! Mmth!” M!MC tried to speak, but their mouth was covered by the vines. The two would have to communicate with their eyes only.

‘This is your fault!’

‘How the fuck is this MY fault?’

‘If you hadn’t teased me this never would have happened!’

‘Grow thicker skin, you chihuahua!’

‘Fuck you!’

Listen, Luke probably wasn’t capable of trying to communicate a swear word, but it was incredibly funny for M!MC to think about.

“M!MC? Luke?” Simeon stepped into their limited field of vision. “Where are you two? This plant is carnivorous.”

Oh... lovely. That was good to know.

“Mmemph!”

“MFTH!” Luke and M!MC tried to call out to Simeon, only for the vines to wrap around them even tighter. Wow, what a way to go... strangled by a plant... ugh. L!MC would never let them live that down...

“Hm,” Simeon looked down at the vine that was coiling around his leg. “What a bother.”

Quick as lightning, Simeon grabbed the vine and sent a burst of shining gold magic shooting through it. The magic quickly spread to the rest of the plant and the moment the magic slammed into M!MC they nearly passed out from the searing pain that shot through their entire body.

They clamped their eyes shut and clenched their teeth to stop them from rattling as they felt the massive wave of Celestial magic wash over them. It was weirdly warm, like a hug from a friend, but it wasn’t a pleasant sensation, at least not to M!MC.

The plant let out an otherworldly scream as it threw Luke, Bean, and M!MC back onto the path at Simeon’s feet.

Luke picked Bean back up and dusted off his clothes like he didn’t have a care in the world. M!MC lay on the ground, if you listened closely you could hear them sizzle a bit. Nothing like being nearly strangled by a plant and then roasted by holy ‘fuck you’ magic.

“I’m glad you’re both okay,” Simeon pulled Luke into a hug and helped M!MC off the ground. “Did I ah... use to much magic?”

M!MC half-scowled at their saviour and wiped down their outfit. “Yeah. A little too much.”

“My bad,” Simeon ruffled M!MC’s hair. “I hope this serves as a learning experience for you two, Luke, don’t run off like that, and M!MC,”

The half demon nearly jumped in fear and surprise as Simeon swivelled to look at them. The smile on his face was far from comforting. “Don’t tease poor Luke too much, okay?”

“Uh... uh huh.” M!MC quickly nodded.

“Good! Now let’s head back, I think we’ve all had enough of the Royal Gardens.”

As the group returned, they passed a very red in the face L!MC and wondered what exactly went down in the time they were gone.

It’s common knowledge that Barbatos hates rats, it’s also common knowledge that A!MC is the embodiment of a ray of sunshine.

What does this lead to, you may be asking, well...

A!MC and their dear rat Templeton needed to hide from the politely homicidal Barbatos.

“Sh!” A!MC whispered into their pocket, the rat responded with an indignant squeak.

The Demon Lord’s Castle was absolutely massive, and trying to navigate it without a map was akin to wandering around an ancient pyramid filled with death traps. A!MC and their dear companion were wandering the place without a map and trying to hide from a butler that had the power to see into the future. The two fugitives were at a clear disadvantage.

A!MC had managed to stumble into an area that had paintings and statues completely everywhere, it was then they realized they were completely lost.

While quietly perusing the room, A!MC took notice of quite the lovely portrait of a woman. She had long flowing locks of golden hair and the most gorgeous captivating eyes... A!MC nearly shrieked when the woman’s eyes snapped to their’s and her face contorted into a scowl.

“Do I know you?” The woman asked, A!MC gulped and shook their head.

“N-no ma’am, I don’t think we’ve met...” A!MC mumbled before sticking out their hand for a handshake. The painting woman stared down at their outstretched hand, very unimpressed. “I’m A!MC, it’s nice to meet you.”

The half demon offered their cutest smile, their dad had lovingly taken the time to coach them in the art of being so darn tootin’ adorable that everyone would fall over themselves to get A!MC to like them. The moment the woman registered the smile, her scowl returned for a brief moment, then vanished entirely.

“Oh,” The woman smiled sweetly. “I do think I know you, do you mind coming a bit closer so I can see you better?”

Suffering from a complete inability to detect red flags, A!MC happily moved closer.

“Ah, just as I suspected. You look like Asmodeus.”

“You know my dad?” A!MC asked.

“Yes,” The woman’s eyes narrowed. “I know him quite well.”

A!MC was suddenly knocked off balance as a massive gust of wind shoved them closer to the painting. They frantically clawed at the stone ground as Templeton squeaked and squirmed in their pocket.

“Your father is the reason I’m stuck in this painting,” The woman explained coldly as A!MC tried to scramble away. “He escaped the labyrinth twice, but I don’t plan on letting you escape.”

“I-uh- m-muh-my dad’s probably really sorry about whatever he did! There’s no need to be rash!” A!MC stuttered.

“Yeah, no.” The woman huffed. “He had his chance to fix things. I’m getting even.”

“Not right now you’re not.”

A!MC swivelled their head around to see Barbatos calmly holding out a pair of scissors.

“Now Helene, I’d recommend releasing the child before I’m forced to take drastic measures.” Barbatos clicked the scissors together twice, and Helene paled. The wind pushing A!MC towards the painting dissipated and the half demon ran and hid behind the butler.

“Th-thank you...” A!MC mumbled.

“It’s not a problem, A!MC. Now I believe it would be a wise choice to move to another room.”

The two, (plus the hidden rat) ended up in the kitchen. A!MC shifted nervously as Barbatos began prepping lunch.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” Barbatos asked suddenly, A!MC straightened their posture and nodded.

“I um... promise you won’t be mad...” A!MC mumbled.

“I can assure you, I won’t be too upset.”

“I made a friend.” A!MC took Templeton out of their pocket and held him closely to their chest, Barbatos’s calm smile froze on his face. “He’s really sweet, please don’t kill him!”

“...A!MC.” Barbatos began slowly. “I’m not mad... just make sure it doesn’t escape and run rampant... now... please get it out of my kitchen.”

“Yes sir! Thank you sir!” A!MC turned and sprinted to their room.

Ugh... Barbatos, haven’t you ever watched Ratatouille? The rat can cook dammit!

When Luke went in to bake with his second dad he was very confused as to why Barbatos looked like he was having war flashbacks.

Huh... weird right? Anyway...

Good ol’ weird uncle Solomon suggested that after dinner everyone should get together and watch a movie.

L!MC and Solomon suggested that they watch The Conjuring and that idea got immediately shot down.

M!MC brought up that the most “family get-together” movie they could think of was Star Wars.

So they watched A New Hope.

“We could be watching the Conjuring right now.” L!MC murmured as they watched Luke Skywalker fumble his way to Obi Wan Kenobi.

“Yeah.” Solomon whispered back. “You know, I met Ed and Lorraine Warren.”

“Cool,” L!MC smiled. “My ren took me to their house once, when I went in to see all the haunted objects all the demons inside wanted to hang out with me.”

“Huh,” Solomon snickered. “Did they think you were Lucifer?”

“Yep. It was funny, Annabelle’s a pretty big asshole though.”

“I’d be an asshole too if I were stuck in a raggedy Anne doll since the 60s and not allowed to leave.”

“Both of you sh!” M!MC hissed, they threw some popcorn over their shoulder, which L!MC threw right back.

A while into the movie, M!MC elbowed Solomon and pointed at one of the aliens. “That’s you.”

“I’m so hurt…” Solomon pouted.

“And that’s you.” L!MC pointed at a stormtrooper that had just gotten shot with a blaster. M!MC scoffed and rolled their eyes.

“I’m not some dumb stormtrooper.”

“Yeah, you’re a little short for a stormtrooper.”

“HEY!”

“SHHHHHHH!” A!MC and Luke turned and started throwing their own popcorn…

The mess that they all had to vacuum after the movie was much more terrifying than The Conjuring ever could have been.

So, after a few days, Lucifer called to say that everyone was back to normal and the last remnants of the Demon-Flu were gone.

Yay! The kids could go back to their really overcrowded house!

The goodbyes were something to behold.

“Goodbye everyone! Come back sometime soon!” Diavolo waved from the doorway.

“Bye, Lord Diavolo!” L!MC smiled brightly and returned the wave. M!MC snickered and nudged them.

“That’s a pretty cold way to say goodbye to your dad-”

“Shut up…” L!MC growled.

“L!MC, what are they talking about?” Lucifer asked.

“Nothing!”

M!MC looked like they were weighing the pros and cons of surviving the conversation, then shrugged.

“M!MC, no, you have so much to live for!” A!MC pleaded.

“L!MC called Lord Diavolo dad!”

Mammon erupted into hysterical laughter while Asmo giggled and half heartedly patted L!MC on the head. Lucifer was not impressed.

“You know,” L!MC sighed. “I’m moving out. Lord Diavolo can I come live here?”

“L!MC, come back.” Lucifer trailed after his very embarrassed spawn.

A!MC pulled on their dad’s sleeve and cleared their throat.

“Yes sweetie?”

“D-dad, do you have a vehement hatred and or fear of rats?”

“Um-”

“Meet Templeton, he’s adorable and my friend.”

————————

Author’s note, The next part of the main series is coming next week… or this week… idk how long things take.

(Probably this week)

#the next mission is making sure the rat doesn’t get eaten by Detective Toe Beans…#Obey me #Obey me!#Obey me Fic #obey me shall we date #Obey me! headcanons #obey me! shall we date?#obey me headcanons #Obey me MC #Obey me Diavolo #Obey me Luke #Obey me Simeon #Obey me Barbatos #Obey me Solomon #Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Mammon #Obey me Asmodeus

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iamanartichoke · 3 years

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Last night I ventured into the plain old #loki tag for the first time in forever, and of course it was filled with all the trailer reactions, etc, but one thing I kinda zeroed in on was how that “I’d never do it again” clip is being so positively received - by which, I mean that the majority of people seem to genuinely think it’s absolutely hilarious and even looking at it from an objective standpoint, I don’t see why it’s funny?

Like, yes - the “joke” is that Mobius calls Loki out on Loki “betraying” people all the time (not even going to touch how Untrue that is) and Loki is offended. It’s not that I don’t think it’s funny bc I don’t “get the joke.” It’s just that I don’t think anything about the setup of the joke or the delivery of the line is particularly amusing. Certainly not “the height of comedy” and “LMAO” funny.

Even if I agreed that Loki had betrayed everyone (thus giving the joke merit), I don’t think the joke landed where it intended to land. 3/10, nice effort, I see what you were going for, but it didn’t quite work, guys, sorry. That’s my reaction regardless of the meta (or wank, depending on your pov) of whether or not Mobius’s line is even valid.

Now, Once Upon a Time pretty quickly devolved into an overall dumpster fire after season 2ish, but there were genuinely good arcs/moments throughout it (I am apparently the only one on the planet who really enjoyed the Frozen storyline), but season 1 was the pinnacle of that show’s run. And Robert Carlyle as Rumplestiltskin was a huge part of what kept it reasonably decent for several seasons. I have a ton of respect for Robert Carlyle as an actor in general; he’s one of the greats. Always gives 110% to his roles. Would consider him and Tom to be actors of the same caliber.

And I just keep thinking of this moment in Season 1 where Rumple shows up to Belle’s castle and there’s a whole standoff and someone is like, “He [Rumple] is untrustworthy, evil, etc” (I don’t remember the actual line) and Rumple is like,

^^ I think that’s funny as fuck.

The acting choice here is like the perfect balance of “subtle” and “visibly (amusingly) offended.” It’s meant to make you laugh for a few seconds and then continue on. And it’s in-character, bc both the audience and the characters know Rumple is full of it, that he’s kinda gleefully being a villain at this point, and so his being “offended” here is funny on an ironic level of like, “Well, I never!” while knowing full well that the mistrust is deserved.

And I could go into a whole other level of how Rumple isn’t really evil, either, and actually he has a ton in common with Loki as a character, now that I think about it (morally grey, complex, tragic background, etc) - but, the point is, the combination of the narrative (”Rumple’s a villain, he’s being called out on his villainy, and he’s amused by it”) and the subltety of the reaction (”Wow, it’s so rude of you to be 100% correct about my moral character) makes this a solid joke. 10/10, would LOL again, etc.

Contrastingly, the first part of what makes this similar scene in the Loki trailer kinda cringey is that first of all, there’s some kind of cognitive dissonance overall in Loki’s arc, wherein he’s done bad things and people keep framing him as the villain, but then when he’s called out on being the villain, it’s always for things he didn’t actually do. So the context of the joke is a little murky. But then, second of all, his reaction veers away from the subtle and right into the very in-your-face “How dare you imply I’d do something that I’m not even sure I have a history of doing, obviously I’d never do that again!”

If he (Tom, that is) had delivered the line a little less like the class clown and a little more like Rumplestiltskin, I’d go with it. If his response had been something like a totally dry, “Um, that was one time” or something, I’d go with it. If his facial expression had given us any insight into his genuine reaction to the comment, I’d go with it.

^^ I genuinely can’t tell if he’s offended over being called out, offended bc he hasn’t stabbed people in the back, both, neither? Besides “LMAO Loki you little shit,” how is the audience supposed to interpret this?

If someone who thought this joke was great would like to explain what I’m missing here to me, I’d be glad to hear it. I do want to reiterate that I get the idea of the joke, but please feel free to explain to me how it successfully landed for you and what it is I’m missing.

Hi, my name is Charlotte and I like to write hundreds of words analyzing a three-second joke because that is my idea of a good time, nice to meet you.

#a fun compare/contrast exercise if you will #and look i love tom okay #you all know this #i have nothing but 100% respect for him #as both a person and an actor #expressing that i found a particular acting choice kinda cringey #or that i don't always agree with everything he has to say about loki #shouldn't imply that i love or respect him any less #just as a general disclaimer #also the loki tag is fucking wild #i don't think i recognized a single person in there #like i had no idea how many people are in the loki fandom on tumblr who i've never heard of nor interacted with #i'll note that there's a noticeable lack of positive analysis in that tag #by which i mean exploration into how loki's arc is a good one #just 'omg so great 10/10 love it' over and over again #an interesting observation to me #also my sense of humor is admittedly kinda weird #but i like to think it's also pretty varied #i like sarcasm and irony and subtlety #i also laugh my ass off every single time i watch thor throw a ball at a window and it bouncing back and knocking him down #i also snicker internally every time i hear something #that could be a double entendre #i think 'your mom' and 'that's what she said' jokes are hilarious #so idk i just feel like i am coming at this as a person with a decent sense of humor #as opposed to feeling like i'm superior in any way to people who do think this is funny #but anyway i should delete my tumblr bc these posts of mine are getting out of hand i'm sorry #tag rambles #loki #loki on the small screen #tom hiddleston is my favorite unicorn

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btsinwonderland · 3 years

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A Drop of Poison - Ch. 13: Hogsmeade

A Loki fanfiction!

Previous Chapter --- Next Chapter

Full Chapter List

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It was a brisk fall morning where the first chill of the coming winter snuck up on you. You wrapped your scarf around your neck tighter and yawned. Another restless night passed with terrifying dreams of Fenris and the bloodbath he left behind him.

You stood in a loose huddle of several students outside the entrance doors to the school. There was the sound of chitchat in the air as you all waited for the teachers. The trees swayed in the wind and a yellowing leaf fell in a spiral and landed on your shoulder. Valkyrie walked over to you with a smile on her face as you brushed off the leaf. It faded slightly upon looking at you.

“Are you okay?” she said, watching you.

You nodded with another yawn. “Bad dreams.”

“Dreams...or something else?”

You might have answered her but were cut off when Pom and Nila came up to the both of you. They had excited smiles on their faces.

“I can’t believe we finally get to go to Hogsmeade!” Pom said with a smile.

Nila agreed exuberantly. “I’ve been itching to go to Honeydukes!”

Valkyrie raised a brow. “Don’t forget we have the ball on Wednesday night, ladies. I, for one, am planning on gettin’ some before everything goes to shit.”

Pom looked at Valkyrie wide eyed while Nila blushed. “Getting what?” Pom said.

You and Valkyrie snort-laughed and Nila started giggling. Pom continued to ask Valkyrie what she was talking about when Professor Heimdall and Professor Fandral arrived at the top of the stairs.

Professor Heimdall wore a long tan cloak over his robes and clasped his hands in front of him. “Students, you will be split off into two groups. One with me and one with Professor Fandral. We are incorporating a buddy system, so pick a partner and do not separate from them. This year we were not planning to go to Hogsmeade, but upon reviewing many requests and with careful planning, we believe it is acceptable. What is not acceptable,” he said, passing a look to each student; his eyes lingered on you briefly, “is to leave your buddy, or your group and venture off alone. The grounds are no longer as safe as they were before. Be wise.”

He said no more as Professor Fandral began to split the groups. You, Valkyrie, Nila and Pom excitedly climbed into a carriage, which eventually trailed behind Professor Heimdall’s. His warning stayed with you as you thought about long teeth and hungry eyes. Despite the fear that had permanently settled in the pit of your stomach, you enjoyed feeling the fresh air on your skin as the carriages took off. The wind was cold, but you had not realized how stifling it was in the castle until you had been outside.

You wondered what a carriage ride with Professor Laufeyson would be like. A blush creeped to your cheeks when you thought about detention with him from a couple of nights ago. The word ‘master’ rested on your lips like a secret behind everything else you said out loud. It was just for him. That night, you went back to your room in a heated daze and wondered what you had gotten yourself into. But the more you thought about it, the more your heart raced with want. You enjoyed calling him master, and you liked the way he looked at you when you did.

“What is going on in that head of yours?” Valkyrie said, elbowing you.

You jerked upright and smiled bashfully. “Nothing, I’m just thinking about what to wear.”

Just then, Pom and Nila deep dived into their clothing assessments and what was in season versus not. You absolutely had no idea how they had obtained this information, but appreciated the feedback. After a long lecture about colour coordination and matching shoes and accessories while balancing complementary colour contrast, the carriages finally arrived at Hogsmeade.

The four of you stuck together and plowed your way through Hogsmeade in a thorough fashion. First you visited Honeydukes, which was decorated completely in black for the season; it was as if the whole shop were dipped in an inkwell. Nila bought an entire bag worth of chocolate frogs, Burtie Botts, every flavour beans, blood pops (to which you wrinkled your nose), and cauldron cakes. Valkyrie bought bouncing bubbly which was a soft drink that made her bounce as if she was on the moon. The novelty wore off quickly since Valkyrie quite enjoyed bouncing above you and smacking your head. You were relieved once you entered Gladrags; there was a strict no enchantment policy and Valkyrie had to stand outside until the effects wore off. The three of you snickered and gave her a mock wave through the window. As she bounced in place, she mouthed: “I could murder you in your sleep, you know.”

You laughed and walked into the store, looking at the various fabrics and clothes they had on display. There were enchanted mannequins walking through the store and dancing every now and again for the customers. A small girl tugged at her father’s coat and pointed to a model just a few inches taller than her. Its face was a flat piece of wood and the thing danced around the girl, doing a pirouette with the bright green dress it was wearing along the way. The girl was mesmerised. You smiled and had to give credit to Gladrags; they knew how to market.

Pom and Nila immediately ran to the hats section where there were shelves upon shelves of all sorts of hats. Plumes of feathers stuck to the side of a large orange hat, while another was a green beret seemingly constructed of snakeskin. One hat seemed to have no set shape or colour, but was a fluid moving thing that sparkled when the light hit it. All the hats were magnificent, though you were never much of a hat person. You went to the back, near the sale items, to see if there was anything that you could afford. It had been quite a year gathering enough money to meet your supplies and tuition costs for the year. You hoped that once you aced all your exams, a scholarship or internship could be earned. Though once you saw Professor Laufeyson’s memories, your thoughts about joining the ministry were on pause.

As if the devil himself heard, you heard a familiar voice from your left.

“Good morning, Miss Eves,” Professor Laufeyson said.

You flinched, nearly knocking over a nearby twirling mannequin which actually hissed at you. “Professor! What are you doing here?”

His eyes narrowed, and he looked as if you had committed a grave mistake. “What was that?”

“I-” You thought about it for a moment. Ah yes….your voice got lower, “Master, what are you doing here?”

He lit up and smiled at you. You wondered if you would ever get used to that.

“I have some business to attend to,” he said.

It was hard not to roll your eyes at how insanely cryptic he was. You were about to question further, but Valkyrie came.

“Professor! Fancy seeing you here,” she said, looking between you and him. You tried to put on your most neutral expression.

“Hogsmeade used to be quite the haunt for me when I was a student here,” Professor Laufeyson said, glancing out the window. “I particularly enjoyed Zonko’s. Well, are you young ladies finding dresses for the ball?”

“Yes!” Pom said from behind a rack of clothes. “And we found the perfect one for you, Freya,” she said, bringing out a frilly dark purple dress that had a mermaid style bottom and an attached cloak that looked more like a cape.

Valkyrie gasped with laughter when you took the dress and promised Pom you would try it on. You thanked her and elbowed Valkyrie. Professor Laufeyson looked as if he was trying to conceal a small smile.

The other girls left in a mad dash when Nila spotted a row of silk scarves that were on sale. Valkyrie went with them, giving you a strange look that showed you would be interrogated very soon.

“You better go try on that aubergine of a dress,” Professor Laufeyson said with a smirk.

You laughed. “I think I’m going to go with my outfit from last year,” you said, putting the purple nightmare back on the rack. “These new fashion trends are getting out of hand, they’re not for me.”

Professor Laufeyson grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him. Your heart raced as he held your face in his hand. You prayed no one saw you. “Nothing here could do justice to the body underneath these clothes,” he said, his voice husky. Just as you leaned in towards him, he pulled away. You made the tiniest annoyed sound, and he chuckled.

He said goodbye, and you joined up with the girls to continue on their shopping spree. Nila had gotten a peach coloured dress that had a tight waist and billowing skirt. Pom got a short purple dress that was clean cut and cute. Valkyrie got a crimson dress that had a courageous slit down the side and a neckline that wound around her neck in a halter top. Your stomachs rumbled loudly, so the four of you headed into the Three Broomsticks, a pub down the road. Since Hogsmeade knew well that Hogwarts students were coming in today, they allowed minors into the pub.

You sat at a table and were surprised to see Professor Laufeyson sitting rather reluctantly with Professor Heimdall and Professor Fandral. They did not see the four of you slip into the booth just behind them, a wall between you. There was enough chatter in the pub to conceal your voices, though you kept it down just enough to hear what the teachers were saying.

Someone cleared their throat. You recognized Heimdall’s voice; it was rich and deep. “Loki, how is your semester going so far?”

Professor Laufeyson’s voice was effortless, as usual. “Teaching is such a noble profession, I ought to have tried it much earlier in life.”

“You were missing from the staff meeting last Saturday,” Heimdall said. His words asked without stating explicitly, why?

Professor Laufeyson let out a small laugh. “I had to drop everything and come here after Hubert’s passing, so when I can I must tie up some loose ends.”

“What might Loki Laufeyson’s loose ends be, I wonder?” Heimdall said, his voice low.

The server came by and dropped off drinks at their table. He then came to your table and took your orders. The other girls had lost interest at this point and began chatting, but you craned your neck to the edge of the wall to keep listening.

“...yes, I will be in and out after the ball. Business to attend to before we dive head first into midterms,” Professor Laufeyson said.

He was leaving? You wondered. He had told you he would not go after Fenris until the coldest night of winter, and you believed that. Your fingers tapped nervously, thinking about what else he was up to. Aside from seeing him in class and detention, you had no way of knowing where he was or what he was doing. It was not as if he was even remotely communicative about his life. The most you knew about him was from breaking into his memory bank like a thief in the night.

The conversation shifted to Professor Fandral talking about his wife and children and how difficult it was to leave them for semesters at a time. Eventually, their chairs shuffled and the four of you put your heads down and ate your meals. Your shepherd’s pie had gone cold but was still quite delicious.

About an hour later, you were back in the school, heading to your common room, evading Valkyrie so she would not ask you about Professor Laufeyson. You were just not ready to have any sort of proper conversation about it yet. You had no idea what was happening, and a part of you felt immensely guilty about the whole thing. At least if it was your personal secret, you could chalk it up to a delusion or dream and still function properly. But once you verbalized it, it was real. Far too real for anything you wanted to deal with now.

In the hall, you spotted a ghostly figure running towards you. Well, half of a ghostly figure. The legs and torso of Crazy Collin ran past you in a gust of cool air. A few minutes later, you saw the upper part floating by.

“‘Ave you seen me legs?” he said. His translucent face was even younger than you.

You pointed behind you. “They went that way.” You smiled as he waved at you and floated onwards in search of his legs. He was always found roaming the halls searching for the bottom half of his body, and it was a fun game that occupied most first years, helping Crazy Collin find his legs.

Suddenly, you thought about Pom’s brother Ken, who now had a missing arm, and your smile disappeared. Most of the time you had laughed at the ghosts of Hogwarts, but you realized they were all people once who had died an awful death. The thought both sobered and saddened you.

***

The next day you were seated in potions class with Pom next to you, taking notes on the use of a bezoar. Professor Laufeyson had put on a slideshow and you tried not to yawn, though his voice was like melted honey.

Something hit the side of your head and fell at your feet. You glanced around before picking it up.

“What is it?” Pom whispered.

It was a crumpled piece of paper and upon unrolling it, you saw an enchanted drawing of two stick figures dancing. One of them had two circles for its breasts and an arrow pointing to the figure that said “You” and the other stick figure had an arrow that said “Me”. You looked up and saw Nathan Gill, the sixth year Quidditch announcer, smiling at you. He pointed to you, then he mimed a little slow dance, and then pointed to himself, all the while mouthing the words, “Do you want to go to the ball with me?”

The paper was snatched from your hand before you could react and you were horrified to see Professor Laufeyson standing over you with a grim expression. “Passing notes in class?” He said with a touch of venom. After reading the note aloud in class for everyone to laugh at, he took five points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.

“Harsh,” Pom said, and you did not reply.

At the end of class, you escaped out the door before meeting Professor Laufeyson’s eye, since you were far too embarrassed. Then Nathan found you.

“So, Eves, you want to go with me?” He said, brandishing a daring smile.

He was a year younger than you, though he was taller and his face was not all boyish. His brown eyes held an air of confidence and his dark brown skin glowed in the torchlights. He leaned against the wall next to you, casual yet focused on your face in a way that made you blush. You wished you could seriously consider him. Perhaps if he had come to you only a month earlier, you would not be in this mess at all. A boy like him was normal. A boy like him was far better suited for you. But alas, even though you thought he was invariably handsome and were somewhat attracted to his presence, your heart was doomed to stay in one place.

You smiled at him and were about to speak when Pom piped up out of nowhere, “yes she’s gonna go with you!”

Nathan smiled so brightly that you felt the words escape you. He leaned in and tucked a hair behind your ear. “See you then,” he said in a low voice and walked off with his friends.

Just then, Professor Laufeyson passed by with an icy expression. He glanced at you and Pom as if you were stones on the wall and continued on his way, not giving you another look. Your heart sank while Pom excitedly grabbed your arm. “Oh my god, Gill is so cute! Sorry I stepped in, but I had to! I thought you were going to throw up or say no, so I did what any good friend ought to do.” She smiled at you and you nodded hollowly, wondering what Professor Laufeyson had thought.

You were on your way to the Great Hall for lunch as you puzzled about Nathan. Pom had gone to the infirmary to check on her brother. The staircase you were climbing up moved and pulled you away from your path and down an empty corridor that would add another ten minutes to your walk. A sigh escaped your lips as you continued to wonder. Why would he ask you? You barely talked to him. Once you had given him ink when he ran out, and so perhaps he was just being nice -

A hand grabbed the back of your shirt and pulled you into a room you had not realized was there. The door shut and vanished, leaving only stone, and you were slammed against the wall with a hard body against yours. The familiar scent of flora and musk hit your senses, and you gazed into a pair of cold blue eyes. His hand clasped around your throat as he leaned in and spoke in your ear.

“Did you think you could get away with being such a tease?” Professor Laufeyson said, his voice was a growl.

You dropped your books and panted. “W-what do you mean sir - er, I mean - Master?”

“That boy was all over you like a dog. Did you hope to make me jealous?”

“I didn’t mean to,” you said. Fear bubbled in your stomach at his aggression, but more than that was another feeling...One that was going to get you into deep trouble. Your cheeks flushed, and you felt desire bloom within you. The feeling of his hand on your throat only made it worse - or better - and you felt your core tighten.

He laughed darkly and for a moment; you wondered if it had all been a joke. Then his eyes grew fierce, and he stopped smiling. “It worked.”

You gazed up at him and licked your lips reflexively. His pupils dilated, and he lost his composure. His lips collided with yours and you felt the heat of his breath against you. They were the softest lips you had ever felt, but they crashed onto yours with a ferocity that made your knees weak. He pushed you into the wall to deepen the kiss and you wound your hands around him, one hand reaching up to the back of his head.

He moved his free hand down and cupped your bottom. You raised your right leg around his waist, which he held in place. Your tongues clashed, and you licked his lips as if you were back in a dream. He lifted your other leg, so you were now pinned against the wall, straddling him. He pushed into you and you wrapped your arms around him tightly. There were no thoughts, only the feeling of his fingers digging into your body as his mouth invaded yours. When you felt his erection against your core, a cry escaped your lips. He rubbed it against you once more and you bit his lip, hard.

He chuckled and gently pulled away from you, easing you down. You gazed at each other as if your eyes were magnetically locked. Both of you panted and wiped the corners of your mouth. “You’ve grown quite...assertive, Miss Eves,” he said in a rough voice. He tried to put on a candid act, but you saw through it. He was trying to suppress his desire.

You stepped towards him and put a hand on his chest. “I don’t want to go to the ball with anybody else,” you said.

His face froze, not knowing what to show you. So he chuckled and spun you around, putting a hand on your collarbone. His thumb grazed your throat, and you wondered if flames would erupt across your skin. “You will go to the ball with this boy,” he said. And he licked your ear and bit the lobe. You closed your eyes and nearly moaned. “You will dance with him, have a drink, and do what young women do at balls,” he said as he moved his other hand to your waist, squeezing it. “And at the end of the night, you will come to my room, and I will punish you for all of it. Do we have an understanding?”

Breathlessly, you said, “yes Master.”

He let go of you and bowed slightly, as if you were a proper lady and not the girl he just ravished against the wall. “Good girl,” he said with a wink.

You were thrown so back and forth with his words that your lust had slowly transformed into a deep hunger...and your stomach growled unceremoniously, loudly. He chuckled at the sound as you crossed your arms around yourself, trying to block out the noise.

“Perhaps we should return to the Great Hall and get you well fed. You need to keep up your energy for the ball,” he said.

You looked around at your surroundings. It was an empty stone room with no doors and a large chandelier in the ceiling. “Where are we?”

He waved his hand at the wall closest to you and a wooden door appeared. “This is the room of requirement,” he said. “It is a room that only appears when you are in great need of it, and it also becomes the room that you need.”

You raised your brows as you passed through the door with him into the empty hall. The door disappeared as if the room was not there. You touched the stone and knocked on it, but it was just a continuous wall. “Just when I thought this place had finished amazing me,” you said.

“Hogwarts will never cease to amaze, love,” Professor Laufeyson said. He stopped when you got to the stairs. “Now, I bid you farewell until the ball. Be sure to get into heaps of trouble,” he said, smirking.

“Oh, I will,” you said with a wide smile. The butterflies flowed freely through your body and you felt electrified. Suddenly, the ball had gotten much more exciting and you could not wait for Wednesday night.

You ran down the corridor, back to the main level, where several students ran past you. The smell of food wafted through the halls and your stomach grumbled more, so you picked up the pace. Another scent caught your nose, and you wondered what it was, since it definitely was not food. As you walked, you realized that the floor was covered in water. Puzzled, you entered the main corridor which led to the Great Hall and found a large crowd of students standing there.

You spotted Valkyrie ahead of you, so you pushed your way through several students, mumbling an apology, and tapped her shoulder. She looked at you grimly and gestured to the wall with her eyes. When your gaze followed, you stepped back with a hand to your chest. There was a message on the wall, written in blood. The nauseating scent of iron was thick in the air. The message wrote:

The beast has awakened...Enemies of the heir, beware...

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waking-dreams-of-harmony · 3 years

Text

The Last Dragon

Below the read more I've posted 7 very small sections of a fic that is based on this beautiful and tragic fanvid. I got literal chills watching it. If you wanna sob over our queen and her son wanting to avenge his mother, give it a watch.

I don't think I'll ever go any further, as my writing had an unfortunate run in with a brick wall, which then toppled over it and crushed any urge to write the next bit.

It's not too terrible--though it could actually be total shit, I'm not known for my writing 😂--and it was just gonna gather dust on my laptop, so figured I might as well post it. This was one of my ways of dealing with that fucked up last season within the framework of the show. I dont believe this is Dany's end, and I loathe with every fiber of my being what happened to her and her found family. And after seeing that video, the idea of Drogon doing everything he could to avenge the mother he loved more than anything appealed to that anger inside me. So I'll understand if this isnt for everyone ❤

Chapter 1

Mother.

He flies, great black wings carrying them away.

Mother.

Sharp, massive claws curl in gently. Protectively.

Mother is gone.

The cold creeps, burning against his scales the way fire never has.

Mother don’t leave.

A whisper on the wind calls to him.

Mother it hurts.

East, it sighs. It smells of smoke, and fire. Hope.

He follows, wings beating faster.

They took you.

The rage flares, searing away the cold.

They killed you.

The heat of it bursts within him, scaled skin shaking with the strength of it.

Fire and blood.

Jaws stretch wide, and the air burns red with grief.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 2

The sky bleeds red from the dying sun when Drogon reaches Volantis. The whisper that drew him there stops as he lands on an open balcony.

A woman stands before him, black hair and red robes flying up in the gust of wind from his wings. His claw gently opens, Mother’s cold body slowly sliding onto the hard stone.

Crimson, mournful eyes watch the red woman kneel by Mother, pale fingers hovering over her, not touching, for a long moment.

“I cannot bring her back, Drogon,” she murmurs, regretful.

He throws his head back, bellows fury and sadness into the sky. No, Mother, come back. I am alone.

A faint brush at the back of his mind--where Mother used to be, his brothers, the thoughts they shared together--grasps his attention. Makes him look back down at the red woman.

“I cannot give you back Daenerys Targaryen, but I can give you something else.”

His nostrils flair, and his head moves closer.

“I can give you the revenge you desire. As it stands, you may be able to raze the whole of the Seven Kingdoms, turn it all to ash, but that would not be what your mother wanted.”

Drogon growls, lips pulled up in a snarl. Sheep. All are sheep. Betrayed Mother. Killed Mother. No mercy.

She nods her head. Comprehends what he is unable to say out loud.

“Yes, they all betrayed Daenerys, took from her and killed her when her visions grew too great for their small minds. They could not grasp that the Mother of Dragons was above all a breaker of chains. She would have freed us all.”

She pauses, then continues, her voice hard. “They need to be punished. And they will be. But Daenerys’ dreams must be realized. Dragon’s Bay must remain free. The Dothraki cannot return to what they were, raping and pillaging. And the petty lords of Westeros must be laid low. Those who destroyed Daenerys must see their reigns come to an end not only by dragon fire, but by the unification of the people they have ground into the dust, unified against them.”

“A dragon has the power to do great things, but to lead men, to lead armies, that is the one thing you cannot do, Drogon. Not as you are. You must be more. And by the Lord of Light’s grace, you can become exactly what the people need.”

Drogon rumbles in frustration, steam billowing from between his sharp, clenched teeth. He doesn’t understand.

“Human, Drogon. You must become human.”

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 3

They take Mother, to clean her, he is told. Remove the dagger, her clothes. Wash the blood away.

The red woman directs him to fly from the balcony, down into an open courtyard below. A large fire pit rages with a towering flame. It warms him, feels like Mother’s hand caressing his scales.

Dragons cannot cry. A mournful moan makes his great neck tremble. Human. Perhaps he can cry when he is human.

People in red robes enter the courtyard, one after another, until they circle around Drogon. His tail twitches. Their closeness agitates him.

The red woman appears, crossing the circle to stand in front of the fire. Hatred fills him when he sees what is in her hands. The dagger stained with Mother’s blood. Coward. The coward’s dagger.

“I am sorry Drogon. It is a necessary piece of the ritual. Soon,” she soothes, “you will have all you need to begin your campaign against the traitors.”

Another voice brushes against that same place in his mind. That lonely place where Mother, Rhaegal, and Viserion once lived. Soon, it too promises.

The red woman turns her head, scans the other acolytes before catching Drogon’s eyes.

“Let us begin.”

Voices hum together in chant, and the sky is filled with an agonized roar.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 4

Drogon.

He groans.

Drogon, my love.

Everything hurts.

You cannot sleep forever, my beautiful boy.

He moves his head slightly. Cringes at the sharp pain.

Wake up, Drogon.

Mother? Why does everything hurt so much?

It’s time.

The voice begins to fade. He reaches out a hand, slowly, to make it stay, and freezes. He has a hand. A human hand.

Fingers curl into his palm, and the nails scratch against his skin, bite into it. His legs scrape against the stone as he slowly stretches out one, then the other.

He can still feel the fire to the side of him; it feels heavier, pressing on his skin but it does not hurt his flesh.

What burns more painfully is the missing weight of his wings. No flight for him now.

Cold fingers brush his shoulder, curve sharply to hold him when he recoils.

“Drogon?”

He doesn’t like to be held, or touched, no one but Mother, and his brothers, but they are gone. Gone, gone, gone…

“Drogon! It is only me, Kinvara!” The voice finally penetrates, and he stops pulling away.

Allowing for her help, he rolls carefully onto his back. Sharp pebbles dig into his skin. No scales to protect him anymore.

He feels her fingers move to his face, tracing the human features. “Open your eyes Drogon. See what the Lord of Light has gifted to you.”

Gift? No gift. Just more pain. Weakness. But he opens his eyes. The fire from the pit is soothing, warm. Warmer than...before. Would it burn him? His hand flinches towards it but he’s not close enough to touch.

He turns his eyes toward Kinvara. She is smiling, eyes reflecting the fire’s light.

She waves a hand towards an acolyte. “Bring me a robe. We must cover our dragon prince.”

Red cloth is laid over him, and two other acolytes help Drogon to sit. They hold him up as the other wraps the robe around him more securely.

Drogon grits his teeth, blood rushing angry and hot.

He tries to talk, mouth struggling to form the human words. “W-We—” He growls, tries again. “W-Weak.”

“For now,” she says. “But you will grow stronger, I promise you.”

Drogon struggles to stay awake, but bone deep exhaustion pulls at him, and his frustration wanes as he slips into slumber.

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Chapter 5

Four moons pass before Drogon is ready to set sail for Meereen. He was like a hatchling again, unsteady, vulnerable, and he hated it. Kinvara and her priests taught him the ways of his new body, how to eat and walk, to read their words.

Coarse fabric to wear instead of steely scales.

But now it is time. Time to search out Grey Worm. Daario. The Unsullied and Dothraki. Train with them and become stronger. Much stronger.

He knew how to fight as a dragon. Armies and castles were nothing against the heat of his fire. He must learn how to wage war as humans do.

Wrapped in a red cloak, hood hanging low over his face, Drogon is ready to begin.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 6

They are waiting for him at the dock after the sun has set, Grey Worm and Mother’s sellsword, two silent figures who do not move, do not speak until Drogon stands before them.

Daario breaks the silence first. “Drogon?”

He pulls back his hood, unnaturally crimson eyes in a human face flashing in the near dark.

Daario sucks in a breath, then huffs out a laugh. “If the red priests had not sent word ahead, I may not have believed it. But by the gods, here you stand.” He reaches out an arm for Drogon to clasp.

He does so, hesitantly, but with a firm grip. Human greetings still puzzle him.

Grey Worm steps closer then kneels, bows his head bowed, fist pressed against his chest. “Ñuha dārilaros. Bisy qringaomatan īlva dāria. Īlon emagon ossēntan se nāpāstre skoriot pōnta iōrtan (My prince. This one failed our Queen. We should have killed the traitors where they stood.).”

Drogon does not know if he is asking for forgiveness or absolution.

Dragons have no real concept of forgiveness. He should be angry the traitors were allowed to live. But Grey Worm is kin, as the little scribe had been. Mother’s old bear too, and the white-haired knight. Everyone who had been under Mother’s protection, had been under her children’s protection as well. And would continue to be.

“Rise, Grey Worm.” His voice is rough and sharp edged, and it seems to startle the two men to hear him speak. “Those that hurt Mother, that used her and took her life will be punished as they deserve. But I need your help. So rise. Let us repay them with fire and blood. For Mother. For Missandei. For them all.”

He holds out a hand, waits.

Grey Worm looks up, eyes bright with unshed tears. His lips tremble, then firm. He takes Drogon’s hand.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 7

They convene in Mother’s chambers, the map room he would never have been able to fit in before almost cavernous to him now.

Spread out around the table, the three men pull together a plan as they look down at the map.

First, they will weed out the opposition in Essos, solidify their hold in the east. Astapor, Yunkai, they will all come to heel, every slave freed. They would be as clever as Mother had been, keep the number of innocents lost as low as they could. Drogon would prefer to burn through the Good Masters, snap them up and tear them apart, but for Mother, he would be patient, and take the slower path. All the slavers would still die, and their victims would live, and live free.

But for what Drogon had planned, he needed steel in place of claws, armor instead of dragonhide. He needed Grey Worm and Daario to make him as fearsome as a human as he’d been as a dragon. And that would take time.

He ground his blunted teeth together; he hated waiting. Hated it. But let the traitors think they were safe for a while longer. It would be all the sweeter when he ripped that feeling of safety away, just as they ripped Mother away from him. His brothers. His home.

They would feel his pain. And then they would feel nothing at all.

#daenerys targaryen #drogon #mother of dragons #got au #team targaryen #team daenerys #daenerys appreciation #drogon appreciation #my fic #my moodboard

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11byers · 3 years

Note

Talk to us girl! What else do you have to say about El's arcs through the seasons and motherly love? I want to hear THIS content, f*ck all the ship wars!!

i’m so sorry this took actual months to reply to, i’m not gonna get into why just.... hi anon, ty for your patience 😭 tbh i'm not sure if i'm saying anything new, but this is almost 3k words long so hopefully i'm offering something

a few things to note before i delve into everything, bc this is a gendered topic:

el identifies w femininity, even after being raised in a lab w just a number as a name, essentially raised w/o any real gender constructs set in place, or at least not enough to understand gender fundamentally. but she identifies w femininity, as seen in the way she gravitates to feminine symbols in her surroundings. and it's interesting how her relationships w female characters are always given a bit of attention

the way fathers are portrayed on this show is... notable. we've got el's father figure brenner, as well as kali's relationship w brenner, steve's dad is apparently an asshole, ted is ted (not the worst but isn't much anyways), billy's dad been abusive his whole stay, lonnie is a danger to society, and hopper, although arguably redeemable and has been given more attention since he's a central character…… hasn't been the best all the way through. lucas' dad was p alright and dustin……… doesn't have one 🙃

meanwhile we got joyce who's the best parent in this entire show PERIOD absolutely beautiful amazing talented show-stopping etc etc, there's karen who almost slept w a minor but made a last minute decision not to (karen is a work in progress and i have a lot of thoughts about her i'm not gonna get into), dustin's mom is cute (a bit dopey but cute), lucas' mom is also cute, billy's mom is practically portrayed as an angel, and terry……… poor poor terry.

anyways there's a very clear difference.

st1

the topic of el and motherhood doesn’t really get tackled until st2, but i'm gonna go through this season by season. bc, spoiler alert, i'm fairly certain joyce will be el's mother/mother figure once the show's wrapped up. we can even say that's already happened after st3's ending, but ofc we're still in need of more personal relationship development.

basically, i believe el's relationship w motherhood, and her idea of mothers has a lot to do w joyce.

joyce is essentially el's "standard" (for lack of a better term) for what a mother is supposed to be.

someone might have to correct me on this, but i like to think that joyce is the first example of motherly love that el truly experiences (other than briefly seeing terry in the lab). not even when they first meet tho, but when the boys sneak el into the school and she "channels" will through the p.a. system.

when she hears joyce trying to comfort will and tell him to hide (which in itself messes me up bc depending on your take on the demogorgon, that shit is heart wrenching), i can only imagine what el might be thinking. what will has in joyce is completely different from what el has in brenner 😭

el's (as well as the show's tbh) view of fathers are very different from her view of mothers. fathers are demanding, ruthless, and cold. but she sees joyce, and she thinks mothers are passionate, caring, and protective, and all of that translates through a p.a. system when el hears joyce's desperation. i'm sure el sees a lot of herself in will - his fear and desperation, his terror of being in the upside down, describing it as cold and dark, just like the chamber brenner locks her in, or even the void, the water tank, her own room even - which only makes joyce's impression on her so much stronger.

and in ep7 'the bathtub' when el gets to have a one-on-one w joyce, there are certain points in that scene that parallel her and brenner, and i think that only hammers home el's idea of what mothers are and what they should be.

joyce promises her a presence. joyce is able to be there for her, comfort her, even when el is in a place like the void, that's just emptiness and darkness all around. she hears joyce's voice, and for once she's not alone. and it's nice to think she's w joyce and will in these moments, when she's in castle byers and she can act as a connection to will and joyce (a-and jonathan, sorry i don't really mention him throughout this piece, i didn't even expect to mention will this much, but jon's important too, we love a parental big brother).

it's shown how scared el can be moment to moment. the second will fades from her, she cries for him and curls up into a ball, and once she's out of the upside she latches onto joyce - and gosh the dependability!! joyce is there for her just like she promised.

this makes el meeting her own mother fuking heartbreaking.

st2

this idea of a mother sticks w el this whole time, and her idea of fathers doesn't get any better. i don't think el even pictures hopper as any kind of father figure, definitely not yet, but as a "friend," hence her shouting at him "friends don't lie". it's not until they're fighting and she shouts "you are like papa!" that it all comes full fuking circle!!

(it's the way hopper leaves her alone for hours, like how brenner isolates her in a dark chamber. it’s how in both instances, she’s still isolated from society. it's the way hopper sets rules for her that don’t allow to act instinctively on her own. it's him telling her "you wanna go back in the lab? i can make that happen." it's damaging shit. it's triggering.)

then el finds out that hopper lies to her again, but this time it's about her mother, which……..

that scene of her breaking down, crying for her mama, is so sad. idk what else to say, everything that happens from this point on is sad!!!!!!!

fast forward to el reaching terry and becky's house. i can't even imagine what el feels when she meets her mom for the first time……… and terry is in the state that she's in. barely responsive.

but i can say how el's guilt is continuously brought up time and time again, bc when she sees terry's memories and sees how determined terry was to get her back, the lengths she went through - it's all just like joyce. her expectations of a mother stays intact.

only, unlike joyce and will, things don't work out in the end for el and terry. terry suffers for trying to get el back. and it wouldn’t be surprising if that fed into el’s guilt.

(also, this has bothered me ever since first watch, but terry is portrayed w a bit of hostility when el returns. when el meets her in the void, and she's says she's home, terry tells her "no" and grabs her arm, triggering terry's memories. it's lead me to ask myself if terry holds resentment for el, and for the price terry had to pay....... or maybe it was just for dramatic scary horror, i’m not entirely sure.)

there's this moment right after el comes out of the void and back into reality, and becky tries to comfort her. bc of terry's unavailability, it's a possibility that becky could've been the mother figure that el needed. but the awkwardness in this moment - in how terry tries to comfort el, but el is still visibly shook and doesn't hug back, unlike her moment w joyce in st1, when el practically clings to her - kinda foreshadows how things just aren't gonna work out so ideally.

this next bit regarding el avenging terry may or may not be a lil "out there" but i think it's interesting to think about.

el views finding kali as something terry wants her to do. and kali echoes that sentiment. kali essentially acts as this one last tether el has to terry, which may be why she thinks of kail as a sister.

i have a lot of thoughts about el's self worth, her morality, her means of protecting others no matter what she suffers. i’m not about to go on a tangent, but just to get the main idea out there: el straddles a line between viewing herself as a monster and viewing herself as a protector, and anything outside of that feels is out of her reach.

what kali gives her is a chance to sorta explore that monstrous side of herself - the side that is willing to hurt others, even when there's no one in immediate danger to protect.

but kali is her last tether to her mother. and what kali is asking her to do clashes w what she pictures a mother is meant to do. i'm not saying kali is some kind of mother figure, nor is that really the bigger picture. but finding kali is something terry "told" her to do. it all plays a part in the scene when they confront the man that followed brenner's orders, ray carrell.

would terry actually want this for el?

el sees a photo of that ray and his daughters, and reminds herself of what she wants, what she yearns for, and what she's been deprived of. the reason why she feels so much pain, and is having so much trouble healing. and she chooses to protect the children - to prioritize the children - instead of giving in to the monster inside of her planted by brenner.

kali has different values. she's chosen a different path for herself. we're never really sure what kali knows about her own past, who she's met in her life, but we do know that she's lost people, and she doesn't have much of a connection to terry despite el considering her a sister.

and that comes full circle when kali makes el see brenner.

the words brenner uses here are technically just kali's words, since she told el the same things and brenner in this scene is just an image created by kali. but that's what makes this scene so brilliant. this scene is kali talking to el, but she’s masked as brenner.

brenner tells people they're sick. kali still believes she's sick. kali hasn't healed despite claiming to - instead she's become a mirror to brenner.

this is el's view of fatherhood: demanding, ruthless, and cold. brenner hurt el, and bc of all that hardship, el is in danger of becoming a mirror to brenner. and unfortunately, this is what kali has succumbed to. kali has failed to realize the monster she's so convinced that she is, is a concept completely fabricated by brenner.

this is what leads el back to her friends. just like how terry did everything in her power to save el and suffered devastating consequences, el returns to her friends to wholeheartedly put herself in that very position.

it's so touching to see el and joyce hug. although, joyce is still "will's mom" to el (she even refers to her as such in st3). but she still holds that connection to the byers family. el still prioritizes will's safety, just as she prioritized the kids back in chicago.

now to briefly cover what el and hopper's reconciliation means for this topic - it's a very vulnerable scene. one of the most vulnerable scenes in the entire show. el and hopper allow themselves to understand and relate to each other, through guilt and trauma and emotion, and bc of the profound impact of this conversation, hopper is…… enough. it’s still uncertain that el considers hopper as a father figure, but at this point she lost her mother, and she lost kali, and hopper lost sarah. they have each other though. and it gives both of them the chance to finally begin to heal.

el channels the anger she feels being deprived of a mother to close the gate. but the gate's essentially a scar still struggling to heal.

st3

it may be a mystery to no one that i'm not a big fan of st3, and there's not a lot to talk about in terms of el and joyce. couple notes about them tho, before we get into the real shit that happened this season

hopper asks if joyce could talk to el and mike for him, which she turns down, so they're deliberately being kept apart by the writers (i also feel like we have v limited knowledge of what joyce thinks of el, so she might be keeping her distance for reasons i'm not really sure of yet).

it's cute to think about how hopper's letter isn't just hopper's letter, but it's joyce's letter to el as well. el just doesn't know it.

let's talk about billy's mom.

el's relationships w female characters on this show always seem to be given a lil extra layer. and el's immediate draw towards billy's mom is so charming to watch. she calls her "pretty" and feels as if she's is looking at her, all before she even finds out who the woman is.

once again, the standard for motherhood on this show is enforced by billy's mom and her literal angel-like presence. she's good to billy, she allows him the freedom of doing what he loves, but not before warning him that dad might get mad!! great!!

billy goes through very similar phases that el went through

his father is abusive, and hurts both billy and the mother

billy loses his mom

the lack of proximity to his mom eventually leads him to mirror the toxicity of his father

the moments that el seems to recognize rather quickly are when billy's dad is being abusive, billy desperately wanting his mom to come home, and billy quickly succumbing to toxicity.

we've explored this pattern in previous seasons, so it's pretty easy to piece together, even within a quick montage.

so when el has her moment w billy, reminding him of his mom, it's so incredibly powerful. when you think about how much this moment upon, after everything that happened in the previous 2 seasons, it just hits.

just as we've discussed how motherhood throughout the show has meant prioritizing the safety of the ones you care about and protecting them against all odds, billy protects el from the mind flayer to the point of self sacrifice.

(and while i may not agree that it completely works just bc of how i feel about billy as a character, it works to tie in all these themes really well. also i'm sure there's other kinds of readings you can do on this scene, i even thought about this scene completely differently a couple months back but ANYWAYS-)

honestly, the way el comforts max in this scene...... feels kinda motherly. there's definitely something to be said about how el's not always treated as just a child - despite still learning speech, she's still been forced to grow up in other aspects of herself, and she constantly puts herself in a position to protect others. but this scene w el and max is sweet, and it's nice that max has el for that moment before el eventually moves away w the byers.

and ofc, el loses hopper this season, which in her mind leaves her parentless. joyce is there regardless (tho joyce taking over for hopper and watching over el does kinda happen in a "no explanation needed" kinda way, and i'm not really sure how i feel about that).

joyce and el have still quite a ways to go before really developing the mother-daughter relationship that feels inevitable at this point. and after hopper's death, the way this season ended, and the way joyce and el interact, there's a bit of uncertainty as to how their relationship will develop. even after the 3 month jump, they come off as rather distant from each other.

nut yeah, i'm excited for st4. after engaging in all the ship wars, and having my own gripes w how the duffers write romance, i think i'm starting to fall back in love w this show. writing this has definitely made me feel happier about the show, and made me feel excited about certain aspects of the show that might've been in the back of my mind, but now it's all at the forefront.

i really do love el as a character, and joyce might be a very close second, if not at the same level as el. their stories have been leading towards each other since the beginning and i can't wait until we get the payoff.

i hope someone reads this lol. again i’m sorry this took months......... depression uh anon, i hope this is what you wanted 😂 and if anyone feels compelled to add on feel free to do so 😊………. hopefully it's positive lol

#hopefully this ends up in the tags bc wow this is long and i wanna know other peoples thoughts!!#stranger things #st meta #el hopper #joyce byers #kali #op tag #anonymous

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lidoshka · 3 years

Note

I follow you on Deviant Art and I discovered my favorite Voltron fanfictions thanks to your fanarts. How did you find them? I loved, among the others, "Where the light doesn’t reach", "Eternal Night", Discordiansamba's ones and "Desideratum": do you have more suggestions? We could do an exchange of fanfiction reviews if you want. I like long, well-written stories with Keith as a main character, space worldbuilding and deep emotions. With the Galra Keith trope also.

You started reading Voltron fics because of me? Really?! That’s really cool!

ヾ|*ﾟ∀ﾟ*|ﾉ

Ahh! Yeah, I totally agree, we need more fanfic recs… in the last few months I’ve been doing art for other fandoms, so I haven’t checked new fics, but I do have some I like here so I’ll start!

Now, I don’t think any of these fics is longer than Eternal Night, but they are still cool, I also added some info of what I remember from each fic:

cobbled glass by ShirosRedKnight (SweetFanfics) One of the first things Keith learns about himself is that he is different. AU where Keith was always part of the Blades of Marmora and the Paladin's of Voltron come looking for the Red Paladin.

[Keith is galra but looks human] [can’t remember any pairing]

It's A New Start Series by Darkscales In which Keith, raised Galra and forcibly drafted into Zarkon's army, escapes from the Empire and proceeds to steal (then subsequently become adopted by) the Red Lion.

[Keith is very galra] [can’t remember any pairing]

your sharp and glorious thorn by arahir

To end the war they inherited, Keith marries the King he lead an army against

[Sheith] [mostly Keith POV] [Keith being galra but still human-looking]

Collision Course by winterysomnium Keith gets adopted by the Galra empire rebellion, basically.

[Keith being galra but still human-looking]

Secret of the Blood by exclamation AU version of season 2. When Keith and Shiro were thrown from the wormhole, they crashed by the Blade of Marmora headquarters and were captured. When the Blade reveal the secret of Keith's heritage, Keith must decide if he can trust these people... and if he can trust himself.

[Keith angst] [can’t remember any pairing] [Keith is galra but looks human]

The Blade of Memory by exclamation (ß same author as previous one!) Kan has no memory of his life before he was found injured and adrift by the Blade of Marmora. When he comes across a slave that seems to be the same species as him, he decides to rescue him. But saving Matt broke a number of the Blade's rules and helping Matt further would mean going against Kolivan's orders.

[Keith angst…ish] [can’t remember any pairing] [Keith is galra but looks human]

hound by story_monger (is there any rec list that doesn’t include this one?? XD) Keith has a lot of practice being alone; you might almost say he's good at it. When he finds himself seriously injured and stranded on an unknown planet, he knows he's not alone there

[Keith angst] [can’t remember any pairing] [Keith POV] [beign galra is not part of plot]

baby, you're a dark star by Thesis When the Lions are separated from the castle, hurled out of the wormhole into distant corners of space, Pidge still finds Allura within an hour. Then Shiro, alone, injured, delirious, asking if they've found Keith yet. They force him into the healing pods and get back to searching. They find Lance, they find Hunk. But they don't find Keith for sixteen months. And now that they have, Shiro is starting to think - maybe he didn't want to be found.

[Sheith] [Keith is galra but looks human]

Insomnia by GriffinRose They reunite after the Wormhole Incident all in one piece. Mostly. But some scars can't be seen. Keith can't sleep, no matter how hard he tries.

[mostly Keith POV] [being galra is not part of plot…or was it?]

nothing can breathe in space by idrilka The truth is: what Keith wants or doesn’t want won’t bring Shiro back. The truth is: nothing can breathe in space. (Or: the story of how Keith and Shiro come together, come apart, and come together again.)

[Sheith] [Keith angst] [being galra is not part of plot…or was it?]

The Heat Was Hot and the Ground Was Dry by justheretobreakthings A glimpse into Keith's year living in a shack in the desert.

[Keith POV] [Keith angst…ish] [has a Spotify list on the last chapter] [can’t remember any pairing]

Small Heart, Made of Steel by inkfishie The fight with Zarkon, the battle with the Galra fleet, the crash; It came back in small measures. Keith finds himself stranded and alone.

[mostly Keith POV] [Keith angst] [survival stuff] [being galra is not part of plot]

For Everything a Reason by flyingisland

In Keith's life, the only true absolute was that everyone would always leave in the end.

[Sheith] [very Keith angst] [Keith POV]

these old bones by achievingelysium

He’s always been fascinated with dinosaurs. Keith isn’t entirely sure why—maybe it’s because their footprints are still here, even after so long. Maybe he’s hearing the echoes of history calling for him. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because he sees himself in those old bones. A Keith character study told in three parts.

[Keith angst…ish] [can’t remember any pairing] [being galra is not part of plot..or was it???]

The Long Way Back by fio As a gladiator, and now Champion, Shiro has given up hope of ever returning to Earth. But when his captors deliver his 'prize'—an omega, a descendant of both Galran and Altean blood used by the Galra to breed with the strongest aliens they capture—he's offered a chance to escape. There's just one catch: Shiro has to get him pregnant to do it. [Sheith] [it’s 40k words] [smut but I can’t remember in which chapter] [Keith is very galra]

The Faeries' Midwife by zjofierose the line between dream and nightmare, between asleep and awake, has always been a hazy one for Keith. Voltron makes it all that much worse.

[short] [Keith angst] [can’t remember any pairing]

Sands and Stars by Neyasochi Keith’s no stranger to shit going sideways, but mistakenly assaulting and robbing a crown prince is definitely the peak misfortune of his considerable criminal career. Suddenly in the custody of the royal guard and slated for a swift and unceremonious execution, he figures his short life is over. Imminently. But then Prince Takashi offers him an alternative.

Part 1 of the Bond and Blade Series

[Sheith] [slow, slow burn] [mostly Keith POV] [Keith is galra but looks human] [It’s medieval!au-ish babe!]

familiar voices and careful hands by bobtheacorn Keith hesitates, then lifts a hand to pat Hunk's arm. It's awkward returning the comforting gesture, but it seems to help Hunk calm down so Keith is glad that he does it. He keeps reaping the rewards of reaching out to the people he cares about, even if small things are the only ones he can manage right now, and he can't help feeling grateful.

[can’t remember any pairing] [team bonding] [keith angst…ish]

i never meant (i only wanted) by ADyingFlower It's a lot farther to Arizona from Washington D.C. than he thought it would be. The sun beats down on his scalp and dark clothes as he travels the roads of national highways, occasionally trying to hitchhike when he could. Not often, though. His soles burn into his feet, but he doesn’t dare stop.

[Keith POV] [Keith angst] [being galra is not part of plot…or was it???]

Well, that’s my fav ones about Keith... I didn’t add any WIPS nor any of Discordiansambas’ cause you know those ones already, but just like you I also like long stories with lots of worldbuilding, angsty stories... I love stories where they explore what being a galra hybrid means to Keith!

#fanfic recs #voltron legendary defender #Keith Kogane #just a smidge more alien

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bamfdaddio · 3 years

Text

X-Men Abridged: 1976

The X-Men, those fiery mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 97 - 102) - by Chris Claremont and Dave Cockrum

If I ever participate in Drag Race, this will be my entrance look. (“Hear me, bitches! No longer am I the woman you knew! I am fierce! I am fashion incarnate! Now and forever, the winner of season 27!” *mugs at camera* ) (X-Men 101)

It really amazes me how quickly Claremont shifts things into high gear. One year in and he absolutely does not calm down, giving us both the Shi’ar, more Sentinels and the (motherfucking) Phoenix. SO LET'S GOOOO

You’d think that, as a telepath, Charles would be used to dreaming absolutely twisted shit, surfing everybody else´s freaky dream waves, but apparently, vividly dreaming of space is so exhausting that he needs a vacation.

To be fair, I’d be exhausted too if I dreamt of schizo space bugs on detailed splash pages. Get into it, Mr. Cockrum. (X-Men 97)

Meanwhile, Alex and Lorna have absconded to the sizzling Rio Diablo to work on their doctorates. It’s unclear what they’re studying (archaeology?) and where this Rio Diablo is (Panama, Chili, Ecuador?), but considering that Rio means River, I’m unsure whether drawing a dry dry desert is the appropriate setting. But hey, this was the pre-Google era and you’re not here for topographical nitpicking, so.

Lorna is shot by an unknown assailant and continues the long, long history of Polaris being mentally overtaken by other entities. Together with the equally not-himself Havoc, they travel back to NYC and attack the plane Xavier is boarding. The X-Men battle them, until it is revealed that these former not-quite-X-Men are in league with… Eric the Red?

Scott is all: But I was Eric the Red! Also, Eric the Red does not exist!

Xavier escapes, apparently not giving a fuck that all kinds of X-Men are demolishing the JFK airport, but the still-evil Havok and Polaris also get away. The X-Men are shook!

Some time later, The X-Men celebrate X-Mas at Rockefeller Square, where Claremont skips some steps in favour of narrative expediency. Moira and Sean are apparently in a relationship, Jean and Storm are the best of friends. It’s some pretty rough telling, not showing, but we’ll allow it, but only because the Storm/Jean-friendship is one of my favourite things.

What, you think only the movies indulged in Lee/Kirby-cameos? (X-Men 98)

Anyway, Jean and Scott are attacked by the Sentinels, who continue their trend of being way too sneaky for supersized racist robots! Xavier is kidnapped on his boat trip with super-duper scientist Peter Corbeau (seriously, he has two Nobel Prizes), while they steal away Jean, Sean and Logan in NYC. When they come to, there’s some gloating from Stephen Lang.

Jean Grey being a literal pin-up while delivering nazi-burns is such a big middle finger to everything she was in the sixties and I am here for it. (X-Men 98)

When the three kidnapped X-Men make a break for it and escape the Sentinel’s clutches, they burst through a wall, only to be greeted by the cold vacuum of space! They’re not on Earth at all: they’re on a formerly SHIELD space station! GASP! (literally)

In secret, Peter Corbeau, inventor of sliced bread, helps the X-Men back on Earth board a space shuttle, where Colossus remembers his brother Mikhail (objectively the worst Rasputin), a kosmonaut who died at the launch of another spacecraft. It’s another Future Plotline Seed©.

The X-Men dodge solar storms which sounds like a made-up contrivance but aren’t, while the Sentinels try to destroy the shuttle. In what the kids these days call a pro-gamer move, the X-Men instead ram the space station and go through to these apparently sub-par Sentinels like Magma through butter. Kurt’s showmanship and Colossus’ loyalty are highlighted, while Cyclops becomes more robotic and repressed the more Jean is in danger.

Colossus’ secondary mutation is apparently BEING THE BIGGEST DORK. (X-Men 99)

Scott almost kills Stephen Lang, but then Stephen throws his ace in the hole at them: THE OLD X-MEN? This reveal throws us right in the hallmark one hundredth issue!

And, look. Stephen, this is just a terrible plan. Instead of using most of your budget on making more impressive Sentinels, you blow half of it on making janky X-Men clones to… what? Confuse the real X-Men?

It works for a hot minute, but Kurt and Ororo quickly figure out something is wrong. This Beast, for example, isn’t hairy and this Jean doesn’t remember being in Storm’s confidence. Wolverine is the first to snap: acting on instinct, he kills ‘Jean’, proving she’s an android.

Stephen Lang, foiled by the X-Men’s logical thinking skills (which, to be fair, are notoriously unreliable), spews some hatred and accidentally blows himself up. Nothing of value is lost.

Too bad the X-Men can’t return to Earth: their space shuttle is too damaged. I actually love this: going to space is kind of a big deal for most people and the fact that the X-Men have trouble because they’re stranded in space lends them a kind of vulnerability that has been lost over the recent years. Jean steps up to the plate, herds the other X-Men into the protected life cell and assumes the pilot seat of the shuttle. This is after zapping Cyclops into unconsciousness and telling the other X-Men to kindly fuck off when they try to stop her.

As the X-Men descend onto the Earth, Jean’s telekinesis isn’t enough to protect her as she’s engulfed by solar flares. OR IS SHE?

Nothing funny. All of these panels are just beautiful. Forget those robot copy X-Men, this is why this issue is worthy of being the hundredth one. (X-Men 100)

The space shuttle crashes, rolls over JFK airport before dunking in the water. The X-Men emerge, safe, sound and very lucky and then, defying all odds, Jean emerges as the Phoenix. Fire, life incarnate, etc.

After a brief but melodramatic burst of energy, Jean collapses into unconsciousness and is hospitalized. Wolverine intends to bring her flowers (aw!), before throwing them out when he realizes the gal’s taken, establishing the X-Men’s most famous love triangle. (You can fuck right off with your Scott/Jean/Warren-bullshit.)

I’m not sure what my favorite thing is here: the absolutely bonkers everybody’s-elated-panel (special mention to Kurt’s boots and his bounce) or the subtle character beat where Kurt goes all heart-of-the-team and checks on Scott, who turns out to be not so stoic. (X-Men 101)

Charles orders all the X-Men (except Scott) to go on vacation, so he can take care of Jean. Like, Charles, you’d think they could just go hang out at the X-Mansion. Instead, they go to Ireland because Sean has conveniently inherited the ancestral Cassidy Keep.

All the X-Men dress up fancy for a welcoming feast, and it seems Kurt and Ororo are flirting? But sometimes, it also seems like Ororo and Piotr are flirting? Listen, I’m not judging: I love these polycule vibes from the early X-Men. Especially because neither Kurt nor Ororo have had particularly satisfying romantic plotlines for the past 20 years.

I’m not here to insinuate nothing, but last time I said “I enjoy being with both of you”, it ended up in a spitroast. (X-Men 101)

The soiree is interrupted by… THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH, and Black Tom, Sean Cassidy’s evil cousin. They are hired by an unknown someone to kill the X-Men! Since nobody subtle is involved, they quickly wreck the castle and everybody tumbles into the dungeons. (Local news paper reports: gay power couple harasses ill-dressed American tourists.)

This story is mostly a vehicle to tells Ororo’s backstory: Storm, one of the few who could conceivably put up a fight to Cain Marko, feels caged by the cold rocks of Cassidy Keep and is incapacitated by her claustrophobia.

Back in the USA, Charles, who’s heard Storm’s mental anguish, is furious with Scott because he doesn’t hop in a plane to save the other X-Men, even though Scott correctly points out that he’ll never get there in time if he leaves now. Meanwhile, Jean awakens, convinced she somehow brought herself back to life. Yeah, you go girl.

While the rest of the X-Men fight the evil duo in Ireland, Claremont tells Storm’s backstory in a few gorgeous spreads.

“I could write a novel about Storm’s backstory.” “You get two pages.” “Deal.” (X-Men 102)

Another classic comics trope appears here, where family members are immune to one another’s powers. I have no idea how Black Tom is immune to Banshee’s sonic scream - he has ears.

Does Black Tom just have a voice in his ears going NEENER NEENER NEENER when Sean screams? (X-Men 102)

When Storm finally pulls herself back together, it’s too late: the Juggernaut has pummeled the other X-Men into a paste and she also falls to his onslaught. IS THIS THE END OF THE X-MEN?!

Other things introduced this year:

Kurt’s image inducer, which he abuses to look like Errol Flynn. (I would abuse it to look like an amalgam of Milo Ventimiglia (ca. Gilmore Girls) and Timothée Chardonnay. OR like Emmy Raver-Lampman.)

The fastball special!

All kinds of name confusion: Lorna is Polaris, Havok is sometimes Havoc and Piotr becomes Peter.

Best new character: Phoenix. Hit me with that iconic shit.

What to read: The Stephen Lang arc is not fully necessary, just read issue 100 and 101. Don’t skip issue 102 if you want to know all about Storm’s past.

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sanchoyo · 3 years

Text

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

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downondilaudid · 4 years

Text

Eighteen

Spencer and reader are childhood friends, the reader coaxes Spencer into attending her high school reunion, but not for the reason he was expecting.

HUGE THANKS to @hkinmydna we wrote this together, and I couldn’t have done it without her, I love her so much <3

Requested: @jellijinnie

Prompts: “I can’t wait to grow old with you.” & “I have loved you since we were eighteen.”

Word Count: 4.3K

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Fluff

“Guys are accessories, until one proves he's a necessity” - Source unknown

Dear Spencer,

I received your last letter, I’m so glad to hear Diana is doing well! Business at the bakery has been pretty slow. But, it’s almost wedding season, so business will pick up soon! I mean, nothing ever truly slows down in Vegas. Speaking of Vegas, my high school reunion is coming up, and I’m absolutely dreading it.

High school was an absolute nightmare, I’m sure the same goes for you. Lydia, a friend of mine from high school, is begging me to go. I’m just not sure, everyone’s going to be married, with kids, and I own a fucking bakery, Spencer. On top of that, my love life is dead, I won't even have a date. I’m not sure who I would ask, I can’t even pay a man to date me.

Enough about my boring problems, how’s life at the BAU? I hope it’s not too stressful, I know how hard it can be on you.

Yours Sincerely,

Y/N.

•••

Dear Y/N,

I’m sure your job has its own thrills. You’re right about the bakery business booming soon; June is the most popular month for weddings, with 10.8% occurring during that time. Studies also show that brides typically focus the most attention on planning their attire, closely followed by their caterer. Not to mention, Las Vegas happens to have the most weddings per year, at over 114,000, so I assume your bakery will be in high demand in the next month.

I happen to remember Lydia, actually. She had bright red highlights in her hair when she graduated high school. It really stuck out to me when you let me look through your yearbook. I think you should go. You’re obviously pining for a date, though, so it seems that maybe I should pay our old high school a visit. Since I’d love to accompany you anyway, I might as well get some closure.

The BAU is the same as always, but I could use a break. Send me the details of the reunion, maybe?

Sincerely,

Spencer.

•••

You checked the gate number multiple times, A24, A24, A24. Your head tilted up, eyes searching for the big blue sign. Shit, A22, definitely the wrong gate.

“Ugh, goddammit” you cursed, your hand wrapping around the gear shift, throwing your car into drive, a little more aggressively than needed. You placed your hands on the wheel, ten and two, anxiety rolling off you in waves. You shouldn't have been this nervous, you had known Spencer all your life.

It started when you were nine. Your mom had finally decided to let you roller skate to the park a few blocks away, much to your father’s disapproval, and it stirred up crazy anticipation in you. This was going to be your first big adventure as a big girl. As soon as you left the driveway, you felt adrenaline pump through your veins. You had skated to the park a million times, but this time had been different. When you arrived, the park was mostly deserted, aside from a frail, pale boy sitting at a chess table.

You pulled off your skates, bounding across the grass excitedly. As a child you’d always been friendly, maybe a little too friendly.

“Hey!” You greeted, plopping into the chair opposite of the boy.

The boy didn’t respond, too deep in thought, his tongue darting out to lick his pink lips.

“Whatcha’ doing?” You questioned, propping your elbows on the table, letting your head rest in your hands.

“Chess” the boy replied simply, he seemed too interested in the game to even make eye contact.

“You know it’s rude not to make eye contact. That’s what my mom always tells me.”

The boy looked up, his big, black glasses sliding ever so slightly down the bridge of his nose. “97% of school-aged children learn their manners from home. It’s the number one factor of civility. Did you know that?”

“Civil-what?” You were pretty sure this kid didn’t speak English.

“Civility is basically etiquette,” he elaborated slowly, giving you the most basic definition he could think of. “It means you learn your manners from your parents. Later on in life it’ll help you develop your own moral compass.”

You just blinked, this kid was definitely not from earth, and was definitely not speaking English. But you sat there anyway, letting him speak his mind and listening intently, although you didn’t understand all of it. He also began teaching you chess that day, since he saw you as an opportunity to play with an actual partner instead of studying the board alone.

From then on you and Spencer were attached by the hip, you were enamored with his vast knowledge of the world, and he enjoyed teaching you.

You jumped when a knock resounded through the car, “Holy-Jesus, fuck.” Your hand flew to your chest in shock, your head whipping to the right to see who so rudely brought you out of your pensive state.

Spencer stood at the window, a smile on his face, you could tell he was laughing. His intention definitely wasn’t to scare you, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. The shock wore off, and with the shake of your head you were laughing too. You unlocked the car, your previous anxiety fading away.

“You should’ve seen your face!” Spencer giggled.

“Yeah, yeah, get in, Rooks.” You rolled your eyes, a smile on your face.

“Actually, did you know, every chess piece was meant to have symbolism, and the rook was the walls of the castle or the chariot. Calling it a castle is outdated, though.” He smirked a bit. “So what does it mean when you call me Rooks?”

Your smile dropped slightly, attempting to think of a snide response. “I-I guess I just thought it sounded cool,” you came up with on the spot. “How was your flight?” You diverted.

“I have to admit, it’s a little different than a government-issued private jet,” he said with a chuckle.

“Oh, you and your fancy private jets. You’re too lucky, traveling around the world every week and all. I guess it’s not all that glamorous, though.” You grimaced, thinking about all the bodies he sees on a regular basis. He replied with only a smile and a nod.

The rest of the drive was filled with chatter and inside jokes, and of course Spencer ranting about every topic.

…

Spencer stumbled through your front door, his weariness becoming more and more obvious. “Please let me help you with your bags,” you begged him, but he denied that he needed help for the third time.

“I’ve got it, Skates. Trust me.” He looked you straight in the eye, and you had to back down.

“Fine, suit yourself” you mumbled, opening the door to reveal a flight of stairs. You smiled slightly at his use of your little childhood nickname.

The trip up the stairs was… memorable, Spencer still refusing your help. He was so chivalrous sometimes.

“So, there’s only one bed, but I can take the couch.” you mumbled, picking up a stray jacket you missed during your cleaning frenzy.

“Y/N, I’ll take the couch, I’m not going to make you sleep on the couch in your own home.” He had always been so insistent, even since you were children. It’s not that he had to get his way, but he had strong feelings that he couldn’t ever seem to shove aside. As much as you wanted to argue and be a good host, there was no arguing with Spencer Walter Reid. You nodded and went back downstairs, beginning to tidy up the pull-out couch for him.

“So, what exactly is your plan for the reunion?” He asked while you fluffed up a pillow.

“Well I was hoping you could help me with that, Rooks. Put that big beautiful brain of yours to use.” You replied, a playful smile on your face. He grinned shyly, not sure how to reply at first.

“Did you know, on average, only around 20% to 30% of graduating students will attend their high school reunions.” Spencer stated. You paused, recognizing he was nervous. He may have been the profiler between the two of you, but you understood his behavior almost like the back of your hand.

“I guess I’m part of that 20% then.” you said absentmindedly. “I’m still so hesitant about going, Spence. Everyone’s going to be married, and successful, and all they’re going to do is rub it in my face!”

“Well, there’s no rule about these things that you have to be honest necessarily,” he said, implication looming behind it.

“What are you saying?” you had an idea of what he was hinting at, but, you would never blatantly ask him.

“I mean, we’ve been best friends for all our lives, would it be so wrong for us to act like a couple? People would totally believe it, and then you wouldn’t feel so alienated.”

Bingo. “Spencer, I couldn’t possibly put you in that situation. You’ve already flown all the way out here to accompany me to a fucking high school reunion!” A pang of guilt ran through your bones, you had him right where you wanted him, but, he didn’t have to know that.

“I’m already out here, why not have some fun with it? Come on, I want to see how people react.” He really had a knack for being convincing, but you didn’t need him to tell you twice. You were really excited to carry out this plan.

“Well, I guess we could mess with people,” you said with a sly smile. “How does fiancé sound to you?”

Your nerves were back, you don’t think you’d ever been this dressed up in front of Spencer in your entire life. You were definitely slightly overdressed, but no one said you couldn’t look nice. Besides, it gave you a boost of confidence, which you would totally use to the best of your abilities.

You looked in the mirror one last time, adjusting a few stray hairs, and confirming your lipstick wasn’t smudged. You twisted the ring on your left ring finger, it felt foreign, but it looked beautiful. It was your grandmother's old ring, it had a gold, double band, with a single large diamond perched right on top. It was Spencer’s idea to pass it off as an engagement ring. You finally felt your plan starting to fall into place.

He met you in the corridor, looking well-dressed and as smug as ever. It had been forever since the two of you got to spend some quality together, much less have your own little adventure.

You grabbed your purse and slung it over your shoulder, urging Spencer to follow you out your front door and to the car. He quickly beat you to the driver’s side door, opening it for you. “God, you can’t resist being a gentleman for even a minute, can you?”

He smiled softly, like he always did, and hopped into the passenger seat eagerly.

…

As excited as you were to play domestic life with Spencer, watching your past friends and acquaintances walk into the event center with husbands and wives on their arms definitely stirred up some nerves.

“Spencer, I don’t know if I can do this.” You admitted.

“Absolutely not, Skates. You didn’t drag me all the way out here just to bail at the last second.” With that, Spencer opened his door, stepping out of the car. He once again beat you to the door, opening it before you could barely get your hand on the handle.

“Fuck you,” you said, grabbing his hand, allowing him to help you out of the car.

A smirk crossed his face, “I’m sure you have, we are engaged after all.”

Jesus. Fucking. Christ. This was going to be a long night.

The confidence he gave you was apparent, because you nearly strutted into the venue with Spencer hanging off your arm like an accessory. You could get used to this. The reunion was at an event center: the same one where both your proms were held and all four homecoming dances. It was still familiar-looking as the two of you walked in, greeting the doorman warmly.

The first person to approach you, coincidentally, was Lydia. Her once vibrant red hair now an elegant black, she looked spectacular. “Y/N!” She practically screamed, throwing her arms around you in a bone-crushing hug. You hugged her back almost as tightly. Although you’d continued living in Vegas after high school, almost nobody else you were friends with had done the same. It felt nostalgic to get a piece of normality back from your past.

“I’m so glad you forced me to come,” you admitted to her.

“I’m glad I did too,” she agreed, her eyes flitting from you to your arm piece. “And who’s this?” Her grin was smug and prying for all the juicy details.

“This is my fiancé, Spencer Reid,” you said and patted his arm lightly with your free hand. He didn’t budge, almost as if it were a natural move for you to make.

“FIANCÉ?!” Lydia bubbled with excitement. “It’s about time we met then!” Her hand jutted out for a handshake.

Spencer laughed nervously, “the number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering, it’s actually safer to kiss.”

“Oh, okay” Lydia giggled, turning to you, “he’s charming.”

You laughed, covering your mouth slightly, “you’ll have to excuse him; he's not a flirt, he’s just a certified genius, IQ of 187 and all.”

Lydia’s eyes lit up in shock. “Are you kidding? Stop pulling my leg, Y/N, you’re gonna make me jealous and upset that I didn’t bring a living encyclopedia along,” she scoffed.

“I’m dead serious,” you said brightly, glancing over at Spencer. Pride filled your body somehow, although part of this situation wasn’t even the truth.

“You know, the black hair suits you. Red highlights weren’t really your style,” Spencer said as an attempt to compliment Lydia.

Lydia stared at him blankly. “How did you know I had highlights in high school?” She asked nervously, glancing at you in confusion. Spencer immediately realized his mistake.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry I just saw your picture in Y/N’s yearbook one time and… I have an eidetic memory, actually, which causes me to-“

“He has the memory of an elephant,” you cut him off with a smile. Lydia laughed it off, but you could tell she was slightly uneasy.

“He didn’t need anything else to fill his resume. God, next you’re gonna tell me he’s a lawyer or something.”

“Well, actually I work for the FBI. I’m a behavioral analyst,” he corrected her innocently. You nudged him in the arm a little too roughly, letting him know he was going a little overboard.

“Sorry. He’s been needing to work on his humility,” you joked.

Lydia laughed along, “it’s so great to see you again, Y/N, if you’ll excuse me for a moment I’m going to get a drink.” She smiled, before sashaying away to the beverage table.

Spencer turned to you, brows furrowed, mouth open, ready to spout something off.

Just then, your view of Spencer was obstructed by an overly perky brunette with a sickeningly sweet smile, “Y/N” she screeched.

Fuck fucking fuck. “Claire!” You exclaimed, a look of panic on your face, eyes flashing between Claire and Spencer, silently begging for his help.

“How are you? You look great!” she said. Just then a man approached her, one of his arms wrapping loosely around her waist.

“I-I’m good! H-how about you?” fuck, where was Spencer.

“We are great,” the man responded, pressing a kiss to Claire’s cheek. She giggled, patting his chest affectionately.

“I’m sorry this is my boyfriend Liam, you’ll have to excuse him, he can never seem to keep his hands off me!”

This bitch is dead. You laughed awkwardly praying to every god above Spencer would come to your rescue.

“It’s not my fault, how am I supposed to control myself when you look so irresistible?” Liam chuckled, one hand coming up to grasp Claire’s chin, pecking her lips lightly.

You looked at every corner for Spencer, needing him there to reassure you. As if on cue, he appeared from behind Claire and Liam, carrying two red solo cups delicately.

“Sorry I disappeared for a bit, sweetheart, I grabbed you some punch,” he said and pressed the cup into your palm, seeming to notice how uncomfortable you were. You smiled at him in response, seeing your chance and immediately taking it.

“Claire, this is my fiancé, Spencer.” You gestured to him and pulled him to you like a security blanket. “Spence, this is Claire and Liam,” you introduced smugly. One-upping Claire felt intoxicatingly good.

“Oh, how lovely!” She responded, “then you know how it is, always a hassle to get them out of the house! Liam’s away with work so much I barely see him!”

“Oh, what do you do, Liam?” You questioned.

“He’s a firefighter! Always away saving people’s lives, my Liam” Claire butted in, her hand coming up to adjust Liam’s tie.

“Actually, Spencer is always away on business too. He’s an FBI agent, which always has him taking cases in unpredictable places,” you explained, emphasizing the FBI agent part. Spencer looked at you with a hint of concern, and you knew he thought you were being too flamboyant. It served Claire right though, she’d been a total bitch to you ever since middle school. The way Spencer looked at you felt wrong, though. His face had fallen to almost a frown.

“Oh, wow, that’s spectacular! You really understand then, it’s so hard having Liam away, especially when he’s going back to college to get his masters degree, I never see him anymore!” Claire blurted, linking her arm with Liam’s.

You copied her movement, doing the same with Spencer, “Oh I completely understand, Spencer has three PHD’s, so I get it.” You flashed Claire a bright smile, so this is how she wants to play?

Claire’s smile dropped for a fraction of a second, springing back ten times brighter.

Spencer shot you a look, bringing you back to reality. You knew you were being petty, but you had dreamed about this moment since the seventh fucking grade. It was playing out like a dream; you had on a gorgeous dress with a gorgeous fiancé (he was kind of gorgeous, wasn't he?) and you got to give Claire a taste of her own medicine.

Claire’s eye twitched slightly, as she turned to Spencer, “wow, you must be a very smart man!”

You reached your hand up to wrap around Spencer’s tie, pulling him impossibly closer to you before answering, “he is, I’m a very lucky woman.” With that you did something neither of you were expecting, using his tie, you pulled his head to yours, pressing your lips lightly against his.

Spencer’s eyes widened slightly, before fluttering shut, you felt his large hand on the small of your back, pulling you into him. You pulled away, and for a moment, you forgot this was fake, for a moment this was your reality, he was your fiancé. You smiled up at him, an unreadable expression of his face, “I can’t wait to grow old with you.”

Spencer’s face fell in shock. Maybe the kiss finally connected an unspoken bond between the two of you, but this came from nowhere. His eyes held something behind them, rage maybe? You hoped Claire couldn’t notice the uncomfortable tension building between the two of you.

“Well, it was nice seeing you again,” she said awkwardly, pulling Liam by the arm as a cue to get the hell out of there. Damn. She felt it too. “I hope you and your fiancé have a nice night,” she smiled, but there was a bite of bitterness in it. Somehow it felt like you hadn’t gotten the last laugh after all as she left you standing next to Spencer. He was right beside you, but felt impossibly far away.

“Can we step outside for a minute?”, he asked with a gulp. Fuck.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” You muttered, wiping your clammy palms down the sides of your dress. Spencer’s hand wrapped around your arm, guiding you to the door.

The cool Vegas air hit you both like a freight train, like a calm notion before the storm. As soon as you were secluded Spencer turned to you, a fire burning in his dark eyes.

“What was that about?”, he asked you in a soft but forceful tone.

“Wasn’t this our plan, Spence? It was your idea to do this so why are you suddenly uncomfortable doing shit that couples would do?” Your face was burning hot with frustration.

“No, this isn’t what couples would do. This is what you would do to prove yourself to some stupid high school bully. It’s gross,” he spat at you.

You ran a hand through your hair, definitely ruining the elaborate curls that took you an hour and a half. “Are you kidding me? Are you profiling me? At my high school reunion?”

“It doesn’t take a profiler to realize you’re trying to prove you’re not incompetent, Y/N.” Spencer growled, his voice escalating. “I mean, why did you even mention the reunion in your letter if you didn’t want me to invite myself? You knew I would, and I feel like you’re just using me as a way to make yourself look better.” The last part of his sentence loomed over you and made the air stiffer. He paused before continuing, “I’m not here to be your accessory or your trophy or whatever the fuck you want me to be. I came because I thought it would mean a lot to you and I wanted to be here for you, but obviously you just wanted to use me to prove a point over a high school grudge.”

Your breath caught in your throat, eyes welling with tears of frustration. You let out a groan, pushing your hair out of your face once again, “God, Spencer, I have loved you since we were eighteen.”

Spencer was so aggravated that he was still breathing heavily, not able to reply immediately. Several emotions crossed his face: confusion, frustration, doubt, and relief.

“Why do you think I own a business alone, and live alone, and never settle down, but still keep my little childhood best friend as a penpal? Has it never added up to you, Spence? I’ve loved you since we were kids! Some profiler you are,” you ended with a smirk.

Spencer initiated the kiss this time, his hand swiftly grabbing your cheek and pressing his lips to yours with a hunger you’d never expected from the timid boy at the park. Your lips moved together in sync, you let your hands travel up his chest, wrapping loosely around the back of his neck.

You both pulled away, breathless, eyes meeting once more. Spencer grasped your chin lightly, “since we were kids, huh? Then prove it.” He whispered.

“Alright,” you smiled. “Let’s get out of here.” You took his hand and led him to your car, hopping in the front seat confidently and turning the key in the ignition. Spencer pulled himself into the passenger seat and you began to pull away from the event center to a familiar part of town.

“I think I like where this is headed.” Spencer’s grin widened and you couldn’t help but take your eyes off the road for a moment to bask in the glory of his genuine smile.

You pulled the car into the completely empty parking lot of the park, turning off the car and letting yourself out. The two of you passed by the swings and slides instinctively and walked straight to one of the most significant places in Las Vegas; the chess board.

You sat down in the chair, nostalgia running through your veins, Spencer sat opposite of you. “I may not have an eidetic memory, but I'll never forget the first time I laid my eyes on you. The lonely boy at the park, playing chess, of all things. There was never a specific moment I fell in love with you, it sort of just accumulated over the years. From your caring nature, and knack to put everyone’s needs before your own, to your gorgeous child-like smile that can light up the darkest of rooms, or the tender way you care for your mom, or children- God, Spence, your kids are going to be so lucky. One of my favorite things about you is your humility, Spencer, you are incredible, you’re a certified genius, and I don’t think I’ve heard you boast about your intelligence once in my entire life! Spencer, you are so special, there will never be another man on earth like you, and I’m sorry for making you feel like an accessory tonight, I guess I just enjoyed being in a relationship with you, even if it was fake. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love you, Spencer, and I will never love anyone the way I love you.”

He looked down with a shy smile. “Way to inflate my ego, Y/N,” he said with a chuckle. “You may have stumbled into my life, but I’m glad you did. I love you with every ounce that I can.”

You looked at the chess board in front of you. “So, what now?”

“Now” Spencer said, standing up, dusting off his slacks. He held his hand out to you, and you took it giddily. “We go visit my mom.”

You giggled, ”you’re such a mama’s boy, Rooks.”

Spencer laughed as you began your walk back to the car, “yeah yeah, just don’t use me as an accessory this time,” he nudged you playfully with his arm.

A smile fell permanently on your face, “trust me, you’re the finest accessory I’ve ever owned.”

Spencer smiled, stopping momentarily to pull you in for a quick kiss. “I love you, Skates.”

You beamed at him, hoping to commit this moment to memory, “I love you more, Rooks.”

#criminal minds #criminalminds #spencer #spencer reid #fluff #fanfic #spencerreid #bau

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yourdeepestfathoms · 4 years

Text

The Suicide Queen (part two)

[Ice Skater AU]

Part 1

The Sixtended characters that cameo in this chapter belong to: Mary Boleyn- @marygrey, Meg Tudor- @me-tizi, Jane Parker- @altairtalisman, Christina of Denmark- @the-queen-of-the-castle, Anya Askew- @thenicestnonbinary, Anne Parr- @inquisitive-mess

TW: Referenced self harm

-------------------------------

Bessie’s eyes were stinging when she woke up that morning. She groaned, draping an arm over her face, and knew it was going to be one of those days.

She hauled herself out of bed and gazed around her small dorm room. She always thought it was rather dull compared to some of the others she had seen, simply having a bunk bed with a black couch underneath it, a desk, a single shelf for her belongings, and a venus fly trap that she took care of better than she took care of herself. Thick grey blackout curtains were drawn tightly over the single window; she preferred to use light from the lamp sitting nearby or the fairy lights strung across her ceiling. She never turned on the overhead fluorescents if she didn’t have to.

On her way down from her bunk bed, Bessie stumbled on the last rung of the ladder and nearly hit her head against the wall directly behind her. She wished she had. She longed for her skull to shatter and for her brains to ooze out, signaling that she was no more in this horrible world.

Her bare feet sunk into the fluffy white carpet in front of her couch. The softness brought on an odd sense of comfort and she sighed softly.

“Another day,” She said to the taxidermy crow sitting on her desk.

She wondered if the reason why nobody liked coming into her room was because of all the vulture culture stuff she had. Her shelf was full of various animal skulls and bones, she had a bottle full of fangs, a jar with peacock feathers sticking out of it, and even a real kangaroo fur she bought from an antique store hanging up on the wall. A lot of people found it creepy and ‘cruel’, but she found it all fascinating.

After watering her venus fly trap, which she had named Jackie, she grabbed some fresh clothes and her shower supplies and stepped out into the hallway.

Her dorm building was notorious for its decorations during the holidays. It was always set up, regardless of what season it was. Right now, black and orange fairy lights were suspended across the ceiling, with little rubber bats and spiders hanging freely, signaling Halloween. There were even a few skeletons and zombies standing around in the corners, which never failed to scare the absolute shit out of Bessie when she got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Several girls were already awake and mulling around, getting ready for the day. Mary Boleyn and Meg Tudor were chatting loudly outside Mary’s dorm room, talking about something some idiot said in their political science class. Margaret Dymoke was waiting impatiently outside of Christina of Denmark’s room, yelling at her to ‘hurry her ass up.’ Jane Popincourt was whisking out of the bathroom, shamelessly swathed in a pure white robe. Bessie shuffled past her with her head down and entered the bathroom.

Along with Jane Parker and Anne Parr, The Beast was there to greet her inside.

“Good morning, darling,” It said from the reflection of the mirror.

Bessie used to have a mirror in her room. She had to get rid of it after she punched it while having a mental breakdown and shattered the entire thing. She remembered all the heads peeking out of the other rooms as she walked the broken thing to the dumpster outside.

Bessie felt Jane and Anne’s eyes on her as she trudged into one of the open showers. Their conversation resumed after she turned on the faucet, thinking the sputtering of the showerhead would drown out their words, but Bessie could still faintly hear them.

“…She’s so weird.”

“…Yeah. I’m surprised the counselor hasn’t called her in yet.”

“…They haven’t already? Damn. I thought literally everyone telling them about how she cries herself to sleep at night would be enough.”

“…Clearly it’s not. I kinda feel bad for her.”

“…Yeah, me too.”

Their gossiping whispers disappeared as they seemed to exit the bathroom, and Bessie was left in silence once again.

But only for a moment.

“You wanted attention, didn’t you?” Said The Beast. Even with the spraying water, Bessie could still hear it so clearly. Probably because its voice came from inside her head, and it wouldn’t quiet down no matter how hard she covered her ears.

“Not like this,” Bessie muttered. She stared down at her naked body, at the slimness of her sides, at the sunkenness of her stomach, at the cuts marring her stomach and thighs. She splayed her hands open in front of her and looked at the scoring on her wrists, the point system of her constant losing battles. She clenched her fists.

“Be grateful,” Said The Beast. “They could ignore you. And don’t say you would want that because I know how you react to being shunned.” Even though she couldn’t see it behind the curtain, Bessie knew it was smirking. “You would be alone with me.”

Bessie grit her teeth. “Shut up.”

She roughly grabbed a bottle of vanilla milk and papaya shampoo and squirted way too much into her hand. She began scrubbing it violently into her hair, making sure to rake her nails down her scalp so she could feel the pain.

Hey, at least she was bathing. Her hair had been a greasy mess for about two weeks now.

“They can ignore you, but you can’t ignore me,” The Beast said. “I’ll always be here, darling. I’m your best friend. I’m your only friend.”

“Shut up!” Bessie yelled, yanking back the shower curtain and flinging the shampoo bottle at the mirror The Beast was reflected in. At the same time, Anya Askew entered the bathroom with her showering supplies and gave Bessie an extremely confused and concerned look.

Bessie jerked the curtain back so only her head and shoulders could be seen. “Umm-- S-sorry, I was--” She glanced at the mirror, and Anya’s eyes followed, but she knew she couldn’t see The Beast smirking in the glass. “Thought I saw a spider! G-guess I was wrong! S-sorry!” She wrenched the curtain shut completely and backed up against the wall, covering her face with her hands.

“I don’t even need to ruin your life,” The Beast said, sounding like it was right behind her. “You do it for me. You make my job so easy.”

Bessie squeezed her eyes shut, feeling a few tears stream free. She sniffled and swiped them away quickly. She couldn’t cry this early in the day. She needed to retain some shred of dignity.

Turning her attention back to the shower, Bessie began scrubbing her body with apple-scented soap, wincing when any open cuts on her skin stung in reaction to the chemicals. The scars, those that hadn’t scabbed over yet, were still gooey and red, the flesh around their edges white and puckered from the water. The faint paint they caused brought a dull sense of clarity within Bessie.

God. How much more of a freak could she be? Was she some kind of masochist or something?

No… No, she only liked pain when it was self-inflicted. She didn’t like when it was put upon her by someone else. He proved that.

She shook her head, sending a scatter of water droplets flying throughout the small space. She twisted underneath the hot water, washing off all the soaps and suds still clinging to her frame.

She was clean once again.

“Or as clean as a teenage whore could be…”

Bessie just barely managed to bite back a yell, remembering that Anya was still in there with her. So, instead, she just closed her eyes and breathed out heavily.

After drying herself off and wriggling into her clothes for the day- grey sweatpants and a plain black sweater- Bessie stepped out into the rest of the bathroom. Even with the mirror completely fogged up, she could still see The Beast’s red eyes glinting at her hungrily as she walked to one of the sinks.

“You’re beautiful,” The Beast cooed, materializing in the mirror over the sink she was using.

“Shut up.” Bessie growled, thinking that Anya couldn’t hear her because of the running water.

“I’m just complimenting you,” The Beast said innocently. “You should thank me.”

Bessie glared down at the sink as she began brushing her teeth with so much force her gums began to bleed. She spit bloody toothpaste foam into the drain before washing it out, gathering her things, and storming out of the bathroom. She faintly heard The Beast chuckling deeply before the door shut.

Once back in her door room, Bessie put her showering supplies back in their place and set her pajamas on the couch for later. She brushed out her long black hair, not caring if it was dripping wet, and then gathered her school supplies, put on her glasses, and left the dorm building.

Upon stepping outside, Bessie’s glasses instantly fogged up. She took them off while walking forward, wiping away the cloudiness until they were clear again. She put them back on and saw a black truck sitting by the curb.

Bessie froze.

All the dorm buildings on Princeton University were further away from the main campus, fenced in by brick walls and a gothic-looking gate. That meant that, unless Bessie wanted to try and scale the walls, she only had one way out. And she would have to pass the truck to do that.

Gathering up all her courage, Bessie began striding towards the gate. There were kids already outside in the courtyard, surely He wouldn’t try anything…

Her confidence disappeared completely when she crossed the threshold, and Bessie fought the urge to turn and run back to the safety of her dorm. She bit her lip, willing herself not to cry as she walked by the truck. The windows were so tinted that she couldn’t see inside, but she knew He was looking back at her.

The truck rumbled to life upon her crossing the street. Bessie didn’t run, knowing that running would only make Him chase her. Maybe He would just go away if she moved slowly and acted like she didn’t care…

A tear ran down her cheek as the truck began rolling along behind her. She turned sharply and walked up a short flight of stairs that led up the curve of a small hill. Princeton University’s sprawling, plant-filled campus was then stretched out to her, but not even its thriving beauty could calm her nerves.

Bessie walked faster, keeping her head down. She knew she should be monitoring the truck, but she didn’t want to look at it. She didn’t want to risk seeing Him.

She tried to distract herself by looking around. The lush, healthy emerald green grass was sprinkled with early morning snow, glinting softly in the pale light slipping down from the blanket of grey clouds in the sky. It was too dull for shadows to be cast, and yet a dark shade grew from her feet and smiled at her wickedly.

“Come to me, darling,” The Beast said.

Bessie jerked sideways and ran right into someone without even realizing it. She heard a grunt and instantly tottered backwards, apologies spilling from her lips.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry! I-I wasn’t watching where I was going!” Please don’t hurt me…

The person she had rudely bummed into stepped back, blinking brown eyes that were so dark they looked like pieces of ebony infused in their skull. Bessie realized it was a woman a year or two older than her, and she was the most beautiful person she had ever laid eyes on.

Internalized homophobia had always been one of the many problems Bessie had, but not even THAT could disagree that this was the most gorgeous human being to ever grace the earth.

She was a dark-skinned woman, tall and muscular, looking like she was capable of crushing Bessie’s skull between her thighs like it was a watermelon, and Bessie found herself longing for that to happen, and not just because she was suicidal. Her short dark brown hair was cut into a style that screamed ‘I AM NOT STRAIGHT!!’, tucked gently into a vermillion beanie, which only fueled Bessie’s hope that her gaydar wasn’t messing up. She was dressed in black jeans and a red-and-black flannel, which had its ends tied together over her stomach. When she spoke up, her voice was husky and warm, tinged with a German accent.

“You’re good,” The woman said. “No worries!” She smiled down at Bessie, but it disappeared in almost an instant. “Hey, are you alright?”

Bessie sniffled, and she realized there were a lot more tears than she had thought. She opened her mouth, lips quivering, and pointed to the truck nearby without even thinking her decision through.

“Th-that truck,” She whimpered out. “I-it’s following me.”

Bessie expected the woman to dismiss her panic, saying something like, ‘there’s trucks everywhere!’ or ‘how do you know for sure that it’s following you?’, but instead she glared at the truck and flipped the driver off as it sped away.

“Fucking creep,” The woman muttered. She turned back to Bessie, looking concerned, and set a hand on her shoulder. When Bessie flinched at the contact, she respectfully pulled her arm away, and Bessie cursed her instinct to recoil at any touch because she really wanted this woman to touch her (just not like that, not like that--). “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Bessie said, quickly wiping away the tears that were still on her cheeks. “Th-thank you.”

The woman smiled that beautiful smile again. “No problem!” She seemed to sense that Bessie was still on edge because she then said, “Would you like me to walk you to class?”

Bessie looked surprised, but nodded fervently. “Y-yes. Please.”

The woman nodded and began walking with Bessie, scanning around the area as if she were a guard dog. “I’m Anna, by the way.”

“Bessie,” Bessie said.

“Bessie?” Anna echoed.

Bessie blushed faintly. “It’s silly, isn’t it? It’s the 21st-century, who names a kid ‘Bessie’ if they aren’t a cow?” She gave a small laugh, shifting her belongings in her arms. “Umm-- My real name is Elizabeth.”

“I think Bessie is cute.” Anna commented.

The blush turned from a light pink to a deep, dark red in an instant. Bessie’s pale skin definitely didn’t help make it any less noticeable.

“R-really?” Bessie stammered, wide-eyed.

“Yeah!” Anna nodded, grinning. “It’s impossible to create a nickname for my name unless it’s the dumb ‘Anna Banana’ one.”

Bessie giggled. “What about ‘Annie’?”

Anna thought it over, then tipped her head at Bessie with a smile. “I like Annie, actually. Good thinking, Bessie.”

Bessie’s ears felt like they were on fire, but, for once, it was in a good way. She couldn’t help but smile back shyly.

“Okay, so I actually have no idea where we’re going,” Anna admitted. “I’ve just been following you. I’m new here.”

“Oh,” Bessie said, nodding. “That explains why I’ve never seen you before. Where’d you come from?”

“Düsseldorf, Germany,” Anna said, which explained the really attractive accent. Bessie’s face burned even hotter. “I’m living in an apartment down the road. I prefer to have my own personal bathroom.”

Bessie giggled. “I get that. Living in a dorm has its perks, though.”

“Really? Like what?”

Bessie was silent. “Hang on, I’ll think of something…”

Anna laughed loudly, and Bessie couldn’t help but join in.

“You’re funny, Bessie,” Anna said as they got near the math building. “I like you.”

Bessie faltered. “R-really?”

“Really!” Anna said, then tilted her head. “You seem surprised.”

“Oh, no, I-I just--” Bessie trailed off awkwardly, not wanting to spill stupid stuff and ruin her friendship with this woman. She shook her head. “Nothing. Nevermind.” She looked at the large building looming over her. “Well. This is my stop. Thank you again for helping me. I had a really good time talking to you.”

“I did too,” Anna smiled. “See you around, Bessie.” She gave a saluting goodbye before turning and walking down the sidewalk with her hands in her pockets.

Bessie watched her go, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. Not even the frigid wind could cool down the heat on her face.

“Bye,” She whispered long after Anna had walked away.

#ice skater au #six the musical #six the musical au #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fic #bessie on the bass #anna of cleves #banna #bessie x cleves #cleves x bessie #mary boleyn #meg tudor #jane parker #christina of denmark #anya askew #anne parr #sixtended verse #tw: self harm

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littleredwritinghoodxx · 4 years

Text

#thirsty-and-in-denial-Zelda

Thank you @intangiblyyourswrites for the writing challenge.

Prompt:

The real reason Zelda initially shows such a abhorrence to Link is because she’s secretly heads-over-heels for him and refuses to show it. Her pride is on the line, after all.

Rules:

Must be set in the BotW timeline

When it’s set is up to you (e.g. Pre-Calamity or post, pre-Blades of the Yiga or post)

No chronology enforced, but I’m interested to see if we can get a somewhat coherent story out of this!

You may do however many posts/drabbles you’d like

Tag #thirsty-and-in-denial-Zelda so we can find your story!

This is set up pre Zelda’s Resentment, and lemme tell you, she is quite resentful.

Also... this is the most sinful thing I have ever written. Like, ye have been warned. This is rated M shit. And by shit, I mean smut. It’s low key smut.

Thank you @bhujerbanwrites for looking this over for me!

I’ve never written smut before.

Dear lord, please be merciful on me.

Alas: I’m not even sorry.

Please enjoy... The Tip of his Sword

There are rumors floating about the castle: rumors that Princess Zelda is head-over-heels for her appointed knight.

But of course she isn’t. She is the Crown Princess of Hyrule. It would be unseemly for her to think about her knight attendant in that way.

Indeed, it would be uncouth for her to think about the way his hands rest upon her hips, large and rough and hot, adjusting her stance during archery practice. It would be improper for her to think about his sharp gaze, those blue irises piercing straight through her, turning her legs to jelly and rendering her utterly useless.

It would be inappropriate for her to think about him pushing her roughly against her desk in her tower, knocking over all of her books and tomes on the Ancient Sheikah – priceless first editions, how dare he – as his hands grasp her hips, her thighs, her breasts. Absolutely unbecoming for her to imagine him trailing hot kisses from the curve of her jaw, all the way down, down, down the column of her neck, as his fingers trail across her skin like a serpent, sliding closer and closer –

Nope. She most certainly is not head-over-heels for Link.

Erhm… her appointed knight.

She turns over in bed and screams into her pillow, the sound muffled as she tries to clear her mind of him. He is always there, the insufferable thing. How dare he. She has much more important things to focus on, like unlocking her Sacred Powers – which, mind you, she is doing her very best at, thank you very much – or discovering more secrets that the Ancient Sheikah left behind in the wake of the prophecy.

She doesn’t have the time to be thinking about her knight stripping her down to her socks, pinning her to the wall – with his one hand tangled in her hair, the other touching her there, smirking against her ear as he whispers uncouth things to her, pushing into her from behind –

Nope. Definitely not head-over-heels for her knight.

She clearly isn’t going to get any sleep that night, and so she whips the covers off of her and swings her legs over the side of her bed, wincing as her warm feet hit cold, unforgiving stone. She fetches her robe from the bedpost, tying the thin, silk tie at the front and steps barefoot across her room.

A warm breeze drifts in from her open windows. Summer is in full swing, and it is no secret that it is one of Zelda’s favorite seasons. The warmer months mean freedom: it means adventures into the wild to study the fauna, expeditions with Purah and Robbie to some Ancient Sheikah excavation. Her father doesn’t approve, but he knows that mother would have said yes, and thus he doesn’t protest.

Guards patrol the courtyard beneath her balcony and bridge to her tower. Rather than being seen and causing even more rumors to float about the castle, Zelda sticks to the shadows. Summers spent with the Sheikah do wonders for her now, as she disappears in plain sight. Perhaps that had been a mistake for her father to send her away in the years following her mother’s death. Impa had been reluctant to guide her in the ways of the Sheikah, but where Impa was hesitant, Purah was awfully enthusiastic.

She makes it across the bridge, with the door to her study shutting with an inaudible click. Here, she lights a candle, her study awash with the flickering flame licking shadows up and down her body. She sits down in her worn out chair, her fingers trailing her notes from where she last left off.

Ah, yes. Academics. This was the one thing that her appointed knight absolutely could not touch – oh, how she desperately aches for his touch. She and Purah had last been studying the ancient shrines off in the Tabantha region. From their most recent research, they concluded that the shrines were meant to be accessed by the Sword’s chosen one.

And the Sword… had chosen him.

Not to be dramatic, but what in Nayru’s name was the Goddess Hylia thinking in choosing him? Everything came so naturally to him: his ability with the sword, his speed and strength, his stunning good looks… He hardly has to work for his success, and yet Zelda is stuck trying day in and day out to unlock a sacred power that she is starting to believe she didn’t inherit.

She sighs, tilting her head back on her chair. Ever since her father had appointed him as her knight, she hardly ever got a moment to herself. These days, field expeditions with the Sheikah included her, Purah, Robbie… and Link.

He really couldn’t take a hint, it seemed. Try as she might to make him feel unwelcome, there he was, always three steps behind her or standing just beyond their excavation, the tip of his sword digging into the ground as he looked coolly beyond.

Indeed, she has some better uses for the tip of his sword.

She sighs, her eyes drifting closed as her legs part just enough. She can think of some ways he might better utilize it. He might lift her so her ass is on her desk, her legs parted as he steps forward. Her legs would wrap around his hips as he presses his lips to hers, kissing her filthily, all tongue and teeth. He would slowly push into her, hissing into her shoulder while she suppresses her moan. They can’t have the castle hear them, now can they? Her pride is on the line, after all.

She might shove him down onto her bed – a place she’s told no place but her husband should lie – and straddle his hips, grinding hers in perfect, languid circles before finally – slowly – sinking down onto him, biting her lip as she watches his usually stoic facade crumble.

He might adjust the rotations of the Royal Guard – he is the Captain, after all – so that her bridge and the courtyard below are deserted in some part of the night. Then, with not a soul in sight, he would brace her against the railing of the bridge, fucking her senseless as she muffles her moans, his fingers digging crescent shape marks into her hips where only she would see –

She comes quickly – fingers moving desperately within her and practiced against her clit. She tilts back in her chair slightly, riding out the orgasm as a small moan escapes from her lips.

She tilts back in her chair too far.

She comes down from her orgasm as she comes down with a crash, a loud yelp escaping her lips as she rolls to soften the fall. She lays there, underwear tangled around her ankles as she breathes heavily, the sweet cerulean of the moon reflected on her stone bridge being replaced with the soft flicker of the candlelight.

Then: commotion.

“Princess?”

The voice is closer than she would have liked, and even more horrifying: it’s his. She stumbles to her feet, her eyes wild as she yanks her underwear up wobbling legs. Hastily, she wipes her fingers along the side of her nightgown, before running them through her hair, trying to make herself not look so… so…

Disheveled.

She hears footsteps on the bridge – running, she can tell. She hasn’t responded, and she knows that he has assumed the worst. Princesses only don’t respond when they’ve been captured or otherwise compromised.

Because apparently, just trying to work through her own frustration with her disgustingly perfect knight isn’t a good enough reason.

She is frantically replacing her chair on its legs and smoothing out her nightgown when –

The door to her study is whipped open. He stands there, his eyes dangerous and his sword unsheathed – stop thinking about his unsheathed sword. She stands there, trying and failing to control her panting, wide-eyed and guilty as fuck – don’t think about that, you terrible, foolish girl.

It’s him, because of course it’s him, it’s always him. He now looks relieved to see her – she’s safe, there’s no threat – but then those eyes squint in suspicion. She had yelled out but she was safe. So then, why?

Then, his nose crinkles.

And Zelda wants to drown herself in the castle moat.

Zelda speaks first and it’s more of a babble, “What in Hylia’s name are you doing here? I can’t get some late night studying in without being barged in by my knight? I’m not a child.”

“I heard you yell out and then a crash. I only came to make sure you were alright,” his voice is calm and leveled and she has to fight against her instinct to get lost in it.

“I toppled out of my chair while looking over the ancient Sheikah shrines in the Tabantha region,” She does not need to explain herself and yet here she is, chattering away at something his peanut sized brain couldn’t hope to comprehend, “As you can see, I am perfectly fine.”

He seems distracted, now that there’s no immediate threat. It’s odd, considering he is never distracted. His eyes dart around the small study, looking everywhere and anywhere except at her. Slowly, he sheaths his sword, and the moment stretches out, the only sound between them the grind of his sword against his scabbard.

She tries not to think about that too hard.

“I can see that.”

Oh?

“Then why are you still here?”

That reaction was uncalled for and she knows it, but she’s strung up and panicking and sweet Nayru just take her soul now.

Link blinks and he takes a step back. She can hear the gears shifting in his head. She hates how methodical he is, hates how thoughtful and polite he is.

She wants to make it perfectly clear that she cannot stand her gorgeous appointed knight.

“I apologize, Princess,” he murmurs, his eyes finally reaching hers. His sharp, blue eyes still her and she thinks that she can scarcely breathe. How dare he, “Do you require any further assistance?”

She would be lying if she said she doesn’t.

Instead, she draws upon her wrath, “I beg your pardon?”

“I can call on your maids to draw up a bath,” Link says, quickly, and though it’s dark, she swears she can see a distinct flush upon his cheeks, “Or call upon the kitchens to send something up to help you sleep.”

Sleep. Goddesses know she is the furthest thing away from sleep.

“That won’t be necessary,” she whispers, hoping that the venom on her tongue will hold his tongue. Oh – the things that man could do with his tongue.

Hylia preserve her.

“You’re dismissed, Sir Link,” she manages to say.

She walks past him, back across the bridge, specifically averting her gaze from the railing of the bridge, facing a perfectly full moon.

“As you command, my Princess,” he whispers, and she wants to scream.

She hates him so very much.

#thirsty-and-in-denial-Zelda #zelink #gonna go wash away my sins now #happy to contribute

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eternally--exhausted · 4 years

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Merthur Fic Recs

take my hand (there's a world I need to know) 18K words / 3 Chapters

Looking at Arthur, framed in the sunlight breaking through the trees, makes something flutter in Merlin’s chest. He turns away quickly, gripping the reins. “You’re annoying.” He hears Arthur trying to muffle a huff of laughter. “This whole trip is annoying.”

Arthur sighs. “Is that what you’re so grumpy about? You’ve been suspiciously quiet since we’ve left Camelot. Not even one comment about how high the trees are, or something equally idiotic.”

When Merlin and Arthur share a 'thank god you're not injured, I thought you were hurt,' kiss, that's all it is. Or at least Merlin is certain that's all it is, because there is no way Arthur has actual - feelings for him. Now he just has to figure out why Arthur keeps looking at him like that.

(In which Merlin is oblivious and should have just listened to Gauis in the first place.)

Okay so this is amazing I really liked it especially the intimacy that they share before they are together. It makes your heart ache and scream that they need to get together. It shows their relationship so well and how much Arthur cares for Merlin.

Fool Me Once 18K words / 2 Chapters

Arthur could see his father glaring down - face red and eyes narrowed as he looked at Merlin with clear distaste.

"Once this over, sorcerer...I’ll burn you."

"You’ve already tried that," Merlin’s voice answered and Arthur had to bite his fist to keep from making any noise. “You need to accept you can’t kill me… Hand me that blanket, please.”

“I’m sure there must be some method… Beheading?”

“No, we tried that.”

“Hanging?”

“I just sort of... Swung there, remember?”

There was another pause.

“I should have made you keep that dragon below the castle so I could feed you to it.”

“Kilgharrah? He won’t eat me, but if you want to torture me than making me listen to his nonsense for an hour might do it.” Merlin said and there was a soft sigh from the other end of the room. “I’m glad you agreed to help me though. Usually I have to do the grunt work of saving Arthur myself.”

“I can’t wait to kill you.”

Uther finds out about Merlin’s magic, but can’t seem to kill him. Merlin is just trying to protect Arthur. They become a begrudgingly effective duo. Arthur doesn't understand why they think he isn't noticing this.

Okay no gonna lie this shit was fucking funny. Yes it is a merthur fic but it shows the relationship between Uther and Merlin if the King knew Merlin had magic. Also Arthur is not an idiot just long suffering. I’m going to be honest with you this is actually part of a series (don’t need to read before reading this because they are not related) and the whole series I recommend.

The Last Ten Years 19K words / 3 Chapters

For Merlin the story ends with Arthur in his arms, resting beside a lake, hoping it isn't goodbye forever.

For Arthur the story begins with an insolent stranger opposing him in front of his knights and upending his world.

And in the middle they fall in love.

With this story it is told in both Arthur’s and Merlin’s point of view throughout their years together. It is also technically not in order. It also is a little sad in some parts but it is absolutely amazing. When I read this I almost immediately wanted to re-read it. Please read it.

That's the Spirit 12K words

“You really do have a soulmate.” Arthur said with a frown and Merlin shrugged. “That might be a problem.”

"Can’t stand anybody but you having a shot a true love?” Merlin asked flatly. Arthur wrinkled his nose.

“No, idiot. Spirit animals don’t get along unless they belong to their soulmate. If my bird sees your hideous lion-“

“He is quite dashing, thank you. Besides, your bloody bird is too loud-“

“My bird is just trying to do me a favor and tune you out!” Arthur snapped and took a long breath “The point is they can’t be around each other. So unless you want Emmy to pluck out this lion’s eyes I suggest you tell him to bugger off.” He snapped. Merlin was inclined to tell Arthur to bugger off himself, but was immediately distracted by one word.

“Emmy?” He repeated and smiled. “You did name him.”

In a time of myth and a land of magic, your soulmate’s spirit animal looks after you (even after you meet your soulmate). Arthur and Merlin are oblivious fools. We know this. That doesn’t change here.

Soulmate AU. Really that’s all you need to know but I’ll expand. Merlin and Arthur are kinda stupid but this is a really good story where instead of getting a mark on your body to lead you to your soulmate you get spirit animals.

I stepped out of time and landed in your lap 5K words

Suddenly he remembers how young Merlin looked in their bed, how he trembled and how he blushes. How he’s dressed in those old rags of his servant days that he hasn’t seen in bloody years. Groaning, Arthur ends the kiss and leans his forehead against Merlin’s. “Please don’t tell me I’ve been sent back in time and took you to bed like a brute.”

So the other ones I recommended had more plot to them but I could not resist this one. It is a time travel fic where older Arthur is sent back in time and as the summary says he has sex with Merlin. Basically it is PWP so do with that as you will.

For Your Information 9K Words

Merlin sighs. "After your...announcement," he explains, "your father decided he needed a bit more information. Which is apparently where I come in. I'm sort of like his gay tutor, it's hard to explain."

I normally don’t like modern day merthur and its because I live in a fantasy that season 5 didn’t happen. Again this is mostly a lot of Uther and Merlin interactions where Uther wants more information and advice on how to handle his son coming out as gay to him. Merlin is long suffering.

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I really enjoyed reading all of these fics and I recommend them to you all. If you want more fic recs for them then either comment or send me a message and I will be happy to because I have so many to recommend. I am also thinking about making a geraskier fic rec list so maybe watch out for that. Anyway, as always, thank you for listening friends.

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