#ftm transition ask

[answersfromzestual]

Anon who sent me the ask about their parents "demonizing" your transition.

Parents have your life planned out for you before you are born (it's not fair, but it's how they are). So when you want to transition genders, all their "plans", "hopes", "dreams", etc. are "destroyed" (ex. they thought you'd grow up, get married, have babies, etc.). This is all a shock and something they will just have to get used to if they want to be in your life. I imagine you still live with them, so tread lightly. I tried to explain to my parents they are losing a very unhappy daughter and gaining a happy son. It wasn't easy. It still isn't. My chest has been done for over 15 years and my father won't look at me with my shirt off. My mother is the worst for misgendering me to this day, doesn't talk when I speak about having children one day. It used to make me mad, I'd start by correcting her, now I just tune it out, grit my teeth and I have been out for about three decades. Parents have a hard time coping, they are far from perfect so they can mess up. They see you transitioning as an absolute loss, and that's not your fault. It will take time, and you never know how long it will actually take for them to embrace it.

I do have an article on here for parents and phalloplasty, from a legitimate resource. If they would be interested/ willing to read it.

Don't you dare let them blame you for "destroying" their marriage, if they say that they are using this as an excuse because they have a probably unhappy marriage. This started long before you even told them, so don't blame yourself. That is not a very nice thing to say as a parent. Well none of it really is, but... They are using you as a lightning rod and I'm sorry for that.

For the time being I'm glad you found some solace in my blog. Feel free to vent to me anytime.

I am really sorry. There is nothing wrong with you, you are not the reason they are miserable, okay? You are perfect just as you are and are worth so much love. You deserved to be loved inside and out.

Please do not put yourself in harm's way, or get yourself thrown out on the street.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this, an adult, therapist, school counselor, a relative, even an older sibling? Anyone that can maybe have your back if anything happens. Maybe create a plan if something happens.

I imagine you are such an amazing individual, I can tell you are fighting a fight and you're not taking your goal out of your sight. You are brave and stronger than you think. You should be very proud.

My blog is here whenever you need to get some support, or vent.

I'm sending you love, and good vibes. I'm always here if you need me.

-Zestual

P.s I hope you know they are wrong about the procedures and everything else. It is safe and common.

If they have questions, you can send them to me and I can try to answer anything you cannot.

I'm proud of you

Stay Golden ✌🏽💙❤️

Article source:

https://www.phallo.net/

[blaithnne]

I like how I gave Frida two flags when she only needed one, meanwhile David has to squish both flags together. To be fair, it’s just like Frida to be incredibly organised and bring multiple back up flags, and for David to panic and not do that.

[antifathomable-shapeshifter]

woag. they implanted testosterone producing cells into castrated mice and it shows promise... self-producing testosterone surgery is possible :00 crossing my fingers I & my fellow T-takers won't have to take HRT forever.... endless pasta bilities

study link

[uncanny-tranny]

r u chill w non transitioning ppl?

Why wouldn't I be? At one point, every trans person who is transitioning was once someone who wasn't (whether or not that was a choice or their need is a separate discussion).

Hatred of any kind of trans person is not a Righteous or Good Thing - every single trans person has their place, their entitlement to safety, community, and respect of who they are

[urbigfatdog]

Does anyone else get hard at the wrong times?

When I get scared Hard

When i feel anxious Hard

When I get startled Hard

I hate this. like dude stop it’s not the time for this, it’s not like I’m turned on or anything it just happens. I haven’t heard anyone else talk about this so yeah idk

Maybe it’s a self defense mechanism

[danmeichael]

xue zhengyong would pay for chu wanning's transition.

[genderqueerdykes]

hello, I'm a younger transmasculine person and I was curious about a few things (for reference I live in the us in a fairly left state)

- how do you get started on testosterone?

I've never gotten a clear answer on this, some people said it took a two year queue, others could start immediately. idk when I want to start, but i dont want to be confused on what to do when I get the ball rolling

- are there alternatives to shots, and do they work better or worse?

I dont think I could do the shots myself unless there's no other options, something about them just makes my bones hurt

- how often do you have to apply T, and what happens if you forget to take it?

I'm pretty forgetful and I'll probably not take T on the scheduled date at least once, I hope that won't screw with anything because I don't really know if you've got to be consistent with it

- do you have any tips for clothing/voice training?

I think I pass at least a little okay but my voice is one of the things I'm most self conscious about. I also find myself spending 10-20 minutes every morning pulling my shirt against my chest to see if my binders working, and just end up wearing the same sweater I have for the past few weeks

sorry if that's alot, even if you're a stranger you're the first person I've been able to ask about these things. thank you so much

these are all great questions, i'm so glad you're taking the time to ask! this is extremely thorough and well thought out!

How do you get started on testosterone?

That's a great question, i feel like a lot of people have barriers to this one. if you are in a state where you have access to Planned Parenthood, this is usually a good place to start. check to see if you have a transgender resource center in your area. if not, go to whatever local lgbtq organization you can find, even one in a college. it is also possible to search gender affirming care [area], but clinicians aren't always available via Google

Here is a list of informed consent clinics that provide gender affirming care services, you may want to look here.

The process looks different for literally everyone, that's why no one can give you a clear answer, i'm so sorry! it's such a chaotic process for all of us. some trans men will literally get their prescription for testosterone within a month, others it does take years. do some research and see if therapy is required before hormones will be prescribed in your area. if not, you will likely have a much faster and easier time getting your hormones. if you don't need therapy, generally you'll just need to sign some consent forms and waivers stating that you are aware of what you are going to do to your body.

Are there alternatives to shots, and do they work better or worse?

all forms of testosterone are equally effective, it just depends on the dosage and the person. currently in the united states, you can get topical testosterone in the form of an alcohol based gel! it is applied topically to the upper forearms or abdomen, generally daily. it works just as well as the injectable testosterone, so long as you respond well to it! there is also the option of having your clinician do shots for you if you don't respond well to gel, as well.

nebido also may be available for FtM HRT in your area!

How often do you have to apply T, and what happens if you forget to take it?

Daily for topical gel, anywhere between twice a week, once a week, to once every two weeks for shots, depending on the person, how well they tolerate the medication, their transition goal, and the dosage.

Do you have any tips for clothing/voice training?

In terms of vocal training, AmaRoseLessons, Zoey Alexandria, and Trans Vocal Training are YouTube channels that can help with vocal training exercises, and i can also recommend the r/transvoice subreddit as well if you need help figuring out how to practice and ways to integrate what you learn into how you speak naturally!

For clothing, really anything goes, it depends on what you're going for and how you want to look. Remember that your personal style still gets to be included in the mix! Generally speaking, bulkier shapes that obscure the shoulders, hips and chest help a lot, layering of clothes, and wearing clothes with "boxier" cuts. Heavier shoes like boots may help, you may also find you like dress shoes. it really depends on your personal look, but generally speaking, i say go into the "men's" section and go nuts. Whatever they wear, you can wear too, and it gets the point across.

Hope that helps! Thanks for laying out your ask in such a concise way, that's much appreciated! If you need any more help feel free to ask!

[strang3lov3]

omg your pfp is northernlion I love him. sadly my ex watched him all the time and I still haven’t been able to go back to his channel but hopefully someday

Hey you 🩵 If it’s any consolation, I’m sure NL would prefer you as a viewer over your ex! At some point he probably yelled at your ex for being ignorant in chat or something LMAO

[our-ftm-experience]

I don't know what to tell younger transboys about transitioning medically anymore.

It's life saving treatment but the way doctors treat you, the constantly having to beg adults to belive that you exist, the presure to be the ideal transmed perfect image of a suicidal teenage boy for doctors and teachers and parents, the soul sucking waiting lists, the creepy sexual questions. I spent my whole teenage years being the perfect trans boy. I never got to be a kid and I didnt even get on T till I was 17 anyway.

I still think of almost any personality trait I have in medical terms. I'll always feel like a patient on a waiting list, like I can never tell pepole anything non typical about my manhood or somhow a doctor will take away my T.

Everthing I am is shaped by what some hypothetical cis doctor might think but I needed the testosterone and surgery so so badly. I did everthing right and the medical system waited until my boyhood was already gone anyway. Maybe I could've just excepted it if I knew it would only happen when I was 18. Then again, maybe I wouldn't've made it.

Your experiences are valid. I hope that someday the system will be functional and not super fucking shitty.

[thornestar]

Me @ myself on a bad dysphoria day

[answersfromzestual]

Improved Blog Directory - Find what you need

BLOG RULES: PLEASE READ

Educational Article on the Phalloplasty Surgical Procedure -self written

Beginning testosterone, testosterone hormone therapy - Article on HRT

How to choose clothing/shoe sizes during transition - clothing on smaller feet and frames

Formal Wear - how to dress formally during transition.

Need to speak to someone? Do you need help with your legal name change? Please click here. Translifeline.org

USA Safe States for Trans-People (Constantly Updated by the website Owner)

What to Update After Legal Name Change

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Testosterone - storage, travel, and injection advice

Facial Hair Information- Tips and Tricks on How to Shave (HRT)

Frequently Asked Questions about Phalloplasty - My [personal] Experiences

How can one ejaculate after phalloplasty procedure? -ask answered.

Common Phalloplasty Misconceptions- Article

Male Mannerisms- help to know male gestures, wording, and attitude- (ask)

Testosterone Experiences That Caught Me Off Guard - (Ask)

Safe Binding and Packing - Articles Purchase Sites Also

Staying Stealth During Surgeries, Explaing Scarring - advice (ask)

Top Surgery (both ftm & mtf), procedures, and approximate costs.

Can I have top surgery and be overweight?

Keyhole Top Surgery Procdure- Outline and what qualifies you as a potential candidate

Finding a Top Surgeron in North America

So You Just Had Surgery (Top)- Advice on the best way to heal after surgery/ minimize scarring.

Is more time on the operating table really better? Operating time and infection information.

Metoidioplasty FAQ

My arm and upper thigh after about a decade after phalloplasty.

My Personal Surgeon and Their Clinic

Interview with Dr. Chen about Bottom Surgery

Penile/ Phalloplasty Erectile Devices

Expectations- Personal Advice on Setting Expectations

Urethra lengthening Procedure Information- Self written article.

Importance of Uriologist

Phalloplasty Website - Includes Parents Guide

Urethra Lengthening Procedure

General Surgical Risks

Plus Sized Surgery Risks

List of Phalloplasty Surgerons in the USA

Vaginal-Perservering Phalloplasty Procedure

Graft SiteCare for Forearm -Free Flap Phalloplasty

What Happens if Erectile Device Breaks?

Image of My Phalloplasty (wearing underwear) Educational Purposes Only

Phalloplasty Procedure Outline by GRS Montreal - (Link to Webpage)

First Ever Phalloplasty Procedure - Surgeon

Michael Dillon- Trans Pioneer (First phalloplasty patient)

How to Find Proper Sources of Information in a World of False Information/ Online Safety

Why certain terms can be hurtful. Please respect my/others views.

Tattooing over your forearm skin graft -ask

Testosterone and Hair Loss Information

If there are any other posts/ other topics I should add to this directory, please send me an ask. I will never post your username without your expressed consent in the ask.

[ask-a-rare-person]

*pride comes crashing through the chimney, coughing and wheezing and wondering how Santa Claus is meant to do this it sounds like an occupational hazard*

What is some progress you are happy with in the lgbtq+ community and what are some things you’d like to see in the future?

Probably the medical marvel that is trans medical transitioning.

That being said, as someone who considers any time spent out of a docters office a rare blessing, the idea of the doctors being the onyl ones who can cure gender dysphoria honestly just feels like a joke someoen made up just to mess with me

[antifathomable-shapeshifter]

i am a man.

i am a man with a uterus, breasts, and a vagina. i am man with hair on his face, on his chest, on his legs. carpeting his vulva.

i am a female man sexually transitioning into an altersex male man.

my anatomy is "female" because that is the current, most accurate category i have available to me.

i say it for your benefit.

testosterone is changing my body already, making me more male. surgery will make it unquestionable-- my future penis a social symbol of maleness. a useful tool.

even if i leave my front hole; even as i keep my breasts; my hairy, fugly, beautiful body will be seen by others the way i feel it should be.

i am a man. but you dont really know what that means, do you?

[urbigfatdog]

Not only has the testosterone made me super horny it also made me really romantic, I have all this pent up affection and idk what to do. Jerking off doesn’t fix the fact that I wanna snuggle and make out and make someone laugh and all that lovey dovey stuff :(((

idk what to do

So if you in the PA pgh area and want a tiny trans man to poor affection on you for like at least 3 months…dms are open

[gl1tt3rv0id]

if you asked me about my transition, about my top surgery...

i would say it's great and I have never been happier in my life.

but if you asked me on a deeper level...

i would say it's also one of the hardest things on whole process of transition. that i was not prepared - not emotionally. that i am happy, but scared in the same time. anxious about necrosis, about suppuration, i am anxious about healing process. i am worried about my nipples that they'll not attach and will fall off. i would say that wearing compression vest is annoying, that my back hurts, that i cannot sleep properly for more than two weeks now. that i am trying my best to take care of it, but in my household is a big dog and he is shredding his furt everywehere and i am scared it will get to my scars. i would say that i am worried, that my scars will stretch too much. that it didn't help with looking more like a guy... but i would also say, that its still the best thing that happened to me and i have no doubts it made my life better in every way possible...

[when-november-ends]

hey trans people, is it normal to feel like a fraud on days where your dysphoria isn't as bad