#fuck i dont think i ever explained sympathy

[poppy-metal]

you get so excited when he writes back. you don’t tell your parents about him, because they never like the boys you bring home anyway, and there’s no need until you actually do bring him home. you’re quite surprised when he does reply, again another thing you didn’t think about, another display of your short sightedness.

hey

thanks for the letter. i don’t get many so yours made my day. you’re a very pretty girl. you know i’m bad don’t you? you shouldn’t be writing to a guy like me. but im happy you did. you said you think im beautiful. tell me more about what you think of me, and what you thought when you watched the trial. what did you think of that cunt of a judge? also, have you done this before? have you spoken to other killers? you have to tell me. i have to know. don’t speak to any others from now on. they might not be as friendly as i am.

yours truly

patrick zweig

aka the hamptons hatchet man xx

you kiss that letter a thousand times and sleep with it under your pillow. you spend hours crafting the perfect reply, while patrick spends his time hoarding his meds to drug guards, and begins stashing away any and all sharp objects he can get his degenerate paws on. anything to reach you before the loose men of the world do.

THE HAMPTONS HATCHET MAN..... stop because him using a hatchet.... swinging it over his head and bringing it down.... I like this visual, I'm seeing it. and thing is he mostly just killed bad people, people who pissed him the fuck off - alot of people feel sympathy for him, especially women. but most of them are cock hounds - they just want a taste of danger without actually knowing what it means. he's kind of disturbed by them. the desperation. he's definitely not the man to harp on about morals, but really?

but there's something about you - you're not horny, for one. you're kind of silly - sweet. you're not writing him because you want a "bad boy" to write you back, you saw something in him you relate to on a deeper level, you feel connected to him on an emotional level. you say you understand what it's like to feel helpless and alone and angry. you're the only girl he ever writes back.

his handwriting is shit - but something about it makes your heart full. the way the ink bleeds in places - the sharp aggressive scrawl. you kiss the paper, blot it with your lip stain.

the connection isn't sexual to start - not for you, anyway. it's not long though that your stomach starts fluttering in your belly at his crude language. a throbbing between your legs you haven't felt before. you wanted to be friends. let him know he had a friend.

he keeps saying fuck in his letters, though. keeps calling you things like sweetheart and good girl and princess - and it makes you feel funny. you feel so guilty, you've never felt this way before.

do you tell him? maybe he can explain these feelings to you. he's much more experienced and he's your friend. he would be honest with you, upfront.

I dont want you to be mad at me - but my feelings are changin' towards you. not in a bad way - I don't think. I'm not sure, actually. maybe it's bad. I care about you. you're my friend. but sometimes...... sometimes when I think about you and the way you speak to me I feel a little funny. it's like butterflies but down there.... you know in my private place. I know it's inappropriate to talk about it - mama would beat my hide for even mentioning my private parts to another man. I'm just so confused. it gets wet. almost like an ache. but not the ache I get in my stomach when it's my monthly - that's a bad ache. this feels different. I know there are things I don't understand that other people do. would you tell me? I don't like not understanding what's happening to my body. I don't think it's bad. if I had to pinpoint it - I'd say it's almost good. but too much good. I'm sorry I'm botherin' you with this. I just trust you more than anyone else. with everything. with me.

[cat-autism-wizard]

wes watching phantom is nothing new. everyone knew wes was spitting nonsense about that poor ghost boy and they just stopped listening to him at one point. it came to bite in the ass for him.

after the countless fight for the day, phantom was tired of everything and just wanted to go home and sleep but lady luck never smiled at the fentons other than to mock them. as he was flying towards a safe space to change back he heard very familiar voices shouting after him.

"we will catch you phantom and we will dissect you molecule by molecule." he heard his father shouting.

not this again.

he usually was better at avoiding his parents but this time his exhaustion was catching up to him.

wes saw phantom flying and decided to follow him. he knew nothing was going to happen since it was the fentons. until they shot him. wes didnt think too much about the shot, danny endured so much worse than a little shot from his parents. wes saw danny fly away to behind some building, probably to transform so he could get rid of the target on him. so he waited him to come out of nowhere to excuse him of being phantom but he didnt come out.

"i swear to ancients if you flew away to not to face your parents or me i will-"

wes' sentence was cut by the scene in front of him. danny passed out on the ground with blood coming from where he was shot.

"fenton?"

shit. this wasnt supposed to happen. it shouldve been the regular easy-to-heal wound, not the wound-so-bad-turned-human wound. shit shit shit SHIT. what was wes supposed to do? he cant leave him like that, even though they dont get along the best danny was still a person, half ghost or not.

wes decided to go to the fentons for help. he could get danny some help and could expose him too. two birds with one stone.

what he didnt expect was how the fentons react.

maddie and jack laughed like it was the funniest joke ever.

"you silly boy. ghosts cant turn humans, if something like that happens its just a ghost manipulating you to pity it." maddie said.

"no i mean what if theyre a half ghost?" wes tried to explain but it was to no avail.

"nonsense, everyone know half-ghosts dont exist. theyre like leprechauns, nonexistent!" jack stated.

their ideas were not even budging even a little.

"what if that ghost turned into someone you know?" wes asked trying to hear some sympathy or just a little hope that they will help.

"then we will regret that ghost ever taking that form." maddie said smiling but anyone could tell it was a violent smile.

shit.

wes weston was a lot of things. observant, annoying, stubborn.. and apparently stupid was one of them.

he was stupid to think two of the most ghost obsessed mad scientists could change their ideas just by his words.

"oh. oh yeah alright. i uhh i need to go." wes sadi and ran towards the place danny was lying unconscious. he tried his best to put some pressure on the wound to hopefully stop the bleeding. the moment he put his hands on it he heard danny hiss with pain.

he didnt know what to do. he couldnt call an ambulance, half ghosts probably had a different bodily functions he guessed after seeing danny avoiding to go infirmary even after a concussion in the school. he couldnt call his parents apparently.

"who knows about phantom after than me. think wes think" he thought out loud. then he realized.

ancients he really was stupid.

wes tried to find danny's phone in his pocket and called one of his friends to get them to help.

as the phone was ringing he was getting more anxious and worried by the second.

"dude this better be good i was middle of a mission in do-" wes cut tucker.

"foley i'll send our location. you have to help fenton."

"wait is that you wes? why do you have danny's phone? i didnt know you were a fully a creep-"

"folley shut the fuck up and come here. fenton's hurt." the line went quiet. then wes heard some typing and a chair noise.

"i texted sam. send us the location we'll be there in 5. and wes if something happened to danny because of you i'll make sure you regret everything." tucker hang up. wes expected a threat but he thought it would come from the goth and not the geek.

wes send their location and tried to get danny in a more comfortable position without moving him too much. he put danny's head on his lap and pray to the ancients that tucker and sam would be there soon.

tucker and sam came after five minutes like tucker said but for wes it felt like hours.

sam without even talking started to tend his wounds best way she could while tucker started to ask questions to (investigating) wes.

"what happened to him?" tucker asked with no sign of his normal upbeat tone.

"his parents. fenton was flying and they shot at him and actually succeeded then he flew here i followed him and i found him lying on the ground unconscious." wes explained.

"so you were stalking him again." sam spitted like venom.

"i was not stalking. i saw him and i followed him. would you rather him dying here with no one by himself?" wes argued.

"dont you fucking there saying stuff-"

"sam thats enough. we will shout at him later." tucker tried to stop sam. she mumbled a 'fine' and continued to make sure danny was not losing any blood.

"he needs ectoplasm and blood." sam said after a while of silence.

"ectoplasm is easy we can get into fenton lab easily but why blood? he never needed blood before." tucker asked.

"yes because he never go unconscious when he got shot like this. he lost blood as a human too this time." she stood up as she collected her aid bag. she sighed.

"i dont know how we're going to find blood for him though. i could try to buy some but it will land us in a list or something. we cant go to a hospital and cant ask his family for some blood." she thought out loud like she was asking them.

"i can give it to him." wes said suddenly after a quick thinking.

"he has an O negative type he could only get from O negatives." sam explained annoyed.

"i am an O negative." wes said as he took of his jacket and put under danny's head as he stood up. sam and tucker shared a glance.

"i guess it would work." sam said with defeat. "tucker you get the ectoplasm from the fentons, i'll get wes and danny to my house for the blood transfusion." she gave out orders. tucker nodded hurried up to the fentonworks.

"help me get him to my house." sam said, wes just nodded and lifted danny bridal style and sam got her aid bag and wes' jacket. he was careful not to touch the wound or fuck up any bandages. all the years he knew danny for the first time he looked vulnerable like that. it hurt wes' heart. he looked tried, it was obvious he didnt get any sleep more than a day. he was too focused on not hurting danny, he was only reminded of sam's existence when he heard a pic take noise. he gave her a questioning look.

"black mail." she said as if it explained anything for wes.

"dont worry my house isnt that far." sam informed wes and started to walk, wes following after her. after a little while they stopped in front of the manson mansion. sam waited for wes' reaction to be like everyone else's but he just stood there and waited for sam to open the door.

"not gonna react? 'wow you were actually rich? why didnt you tell anyone?' or something?" sam mocked as she was unlocking the door. then she realized something.

"wait dont tell me you already knew my house because of the stalking." sam accused. wes with wide eyes.

"what? no!! seriously do you guys think anything about me other than a creepy stalker? i figured out you were rich after you paid for almost everything for the both and even offering to buy blood if it didnt land you in some list!!" wes defended himself.

"now can you open the door so we can get to saving your friend, who im carrying?" sam opened the door and guided him to her room.

"put him on my bed. i'll get the syringe." wes did as she said and sit on the bed waiting for sam. he stared at the boy who was on the bed. his white shirt he always wore now had blood stains and another stain wes guessed as ectoplasm. he was sweaty from the pain, his hair was sticking to his face. wes gently removed his hair from his face and stared some more.

wes was an observant person but he never really looked at danny other than him being the phantom. now he looked at him as a person and not just phantom. and he was pretty. really pretty.

"alright weston, roll up your sleeves." sam came into the room with the necessary equipment at hand.

"have you done this before?" wes asked as he rolled his sleeves up.

"with blood?? no. i did it with ectoplasm multiple times though. however they feel different, so it'll be different for me. blood is more liquidy than ectoplasm." sam explained as she set the stuff accordingly.

"this does not help me relax at all." wes mumbled with anxiety.

"relax it will be fine. probably." sam flashed a teasing smile. wes gulped.

sam carefully inserted a sterile needle in wes' arm. they were really lucky that wes grew out of fear of needles or it would be impossible for him to stay with a needle on his arm in a teenager's room without any professional.

oh ancients he was about to lose it.

"ho-how many more you do you- uhh do you need?" wes stuttered. sam checked the blood in the bag.

"not much like a five minutes top. why?" she turned to wes, who looked like they saw a ghost which ironic because he was currently donating blood for a ghost.

"wait. are you afraid of blood? wait, no you were fine when you were helping danny. are you afraid of needles?" sam grinned. wes didnt say anything knowing it was pointless to deny it.

"wow. thats what i call a character development. giving your archenemy your blood even if youre scared of needles?" sam started to laugh. wes wanted to deny it but with everything that was happening she could be right.

"hes not my archenemy." he mamaged to get that out.

"sure whatever you say, weston. but good news is the is enough for now. we could think about other options when danny wakes up." sam said as she get the needles out of wes' arm. he sighed with relief. she started to set the bag for danny when the door rang.

"wes open the door its tucker." sam said as she continued to set things up. wes opened the door for tucker.

"okay i got some ectoplasm luckily i think its from the blob ghosts' ectoplasm so no ghosts were damaged with this one also i saw some disturbing new weapons." tucker started to explain as he gave the container to sam.

"what kind of weapon?" sam asked.

"was it the one they used on fenton today?" wes asked. tucker was about to start explaining but he stopped himself.

"sam can we talk after you set up danny's ectoplasm and blood?" sam nodded and finished up inserting needle into danny's arm. she put the contained ectoplasm into a bloog bag and put next to blood. after the blood she was gonna set the ectoplasm to the intravenous line.

after the set up tucker and sam went out of the room to talk. wes sighed. he couldnt blame them for not trusting him. he did try to expose danny to everyone everyday for two years now.

as the time passed by wes pulled up a chair next to the bed and waited.

then danny moved.

"danny?" wes gently said as if he was afraid of waking him up.

"wes? why are you here? where am i?" danny tried to get up only stopping when he realized the needle in his arm. he looked around and was relieved when he realized its somewhere he was familiar with.

"dont move. i'll get manson." wes stood up but danny held his arm to stop him.

"alarm her later, she wont let me breath if she knows." danny said weakly and sat up. wes didnt think it was a good idea but still played along and sat down.

"what happened?"

"you were shot and then passed out i found you, called foley and now youre here." wes explained briefly.

"shit." danny said as he started to remember stuff.

"do my parents.. know?" he asked but he didnt want to hear the answer.

"no. they dont." wes assured. danny looked at him with suspicion in his eyes. he didnt blame him.

"i'll get manson." he get out of the room this time without letting danny stop him again. then he overheard tucker and sam talking.

"what do you think? should we trust him?" tucker asked.

"he does seem changed but i dont think we can trust him just yet." sam replied.

he couldnt blame them.

he knocked on the door to alert them. that he was coming.

"hey, danny's awake." he said. both tucker and sam quickly went into the room to check up on their friends. it was more of a scolding than a check up.

wes smiled at sight. he had so much to think about. he went to the door.

"where are you going?" danny called out for wes. he turned back.

"since you were good, i thought i would leave you guys alone." wes explained like it was the most obvious thing ever. the trio exchanged looks and turned back to wes.

"do you wanna stay more?" tucker asked.

"what?"

"he asked if you wanted stay more, weston." sam repeated.

"why?"

"geez we thought you would like to stay more. no need to-" wes cut sam mid sentence.

"no no i mean why would YOU want me to stay? you dont trust me, understandably so. we're not friends. i actively put you in danger by trying to exposing you. why would you want me to say?" wes explained still not processing the question.

"because you helped me." danny said. continued to explain when he saw wes' confused look.

"if you actually wanted to hurt me you would left me to perish or expose me at my lowest but instead you stole my phone to call for backup."

"also gave blood while being afraid of needles" sam added.

"also uncharacteristically you were quiet the whole time you were helping, you listened to us without questioning." tucker stated.

"so? what? are you gonna give me the 'not much of an asshole as i couldve been' award?"

"no, we're giving you a chance to be less much of an asshole. like a second chance." danny explained.

"it still doesnt make any sense. why would you-" wes started to argue.

"wes just shut up and join us for the day, okay?" danny said with a faint smile. wes looked at the trio. they seemed genuine.

"okay."

wes never knew he had so many common interests with the trio. they talked for hours, never excluding wes from the conversations and explaining stuff if he didnt understand.

he felt good.

[loser-otaku-girl]

i dont think ive ever really been human.

humans are complex and wonderful yet the worst and i dont think im anything. i dont have a place. humans emotions are beautiful and complex i dont think i really feel. i dont feel like anyone else. humans have personalities and i have whatever you want me to have. i feel better then humans. humans dont think, they trust to much (not that their are not humans who think like me but im different in a way i cant explain). ill do anything to feel human. im like a doll. i do anything to keep appearances. to keep up the version of myself i have created for others. i dont really agree with any humans. i think theyre all fake. not that im not fake. no one is really a good person. obviously not me either. if i am human im a shitty one. i dont care like a human. i dont love like a human. i dont even hate like a human. what the fuck am i? i dont have empathy. i dont have sympathy. i dont care. i know im fucked up but i just dont care. thats the thing humans when they do realize they are fucked up feel bad for it. i dont give a single fuck. everyones so dramatic. grow up. or actually dont change thats just you being human. more human then i will ever be. i dont feel real most of the time. less then human. or i feel to real. like a being thats more human then humans shall ever be.

what even makes someone human? is it evolution? the flesh on their bones? i am all flesh and bone so why am i not human? is it a humans complex nature? im more complex then most humans yet i am not human. is it having emotions? even dogs have emotions. is that what i am now? a dog? woof woof. is it the uniqueness of the human life? thats just dumb. no ones truly unique. were all just copies of everything. so what is it? does anyone even know?

i dont care if this didnt make sense.

[qpenpals]

First of all, support Shubble and support all victims (which is a statement that while said a lot, seems not be followed as frequently, however i hope those who read this abide by it)

Second, I don’t support wilbur soot/william gold, and I don’t think that anyone should after this.

Third, while this situation is not about me, i have feelings and opinions about it that i would like to share, but even if you don’t read anymore,

Please watch shelby’s vod, and maybe try checking her content out, because while i don’t frequently watch her, i enjoy her streams and maybe you will too! her new hardcore series sounds great :)

This is quite long, but honestly this is kind of just for me to collect my thoughts, however if you read to the end thank you<3 im touched :)

ALSO ABUSE TRIGGER WARNING

Alright, so I have loved wilbur soot’s content for a very long time, 4 years or so. I watched the streams and listened to his music from the start. His content is entwined with many of my fond memories.

Earlier today, I had a breakdown over this whole situation, because, as I’ve been quite busy with school, my job, and other assorted things in my life, I found out about this morning. I had woken from a nightmare about my previous abuser. Who i will be talking about a lot more of as they really impacted my views on this situation.

However this nightmare had left me in a fragile mood, my girlfriend was still sleeping and i didn’t want to wake her, so to comfort myself i went to read one of my bookmarked fanfictions, this fanfiction, while i dont remember the title is one that i’ve found comforting for a very long time, so much so that when im stressed my partner has it saved to send to me so i can calm down.

It was a fanfiction about quackity and tubbo, wilbur soot was mentioned maybe 5 times, and the author had deleted it.

This caused me to try and find out why, so i went to their page and they had posted a temporary fic explaining what had been going on.

My first reaction had been disbelief, I then went to research everything. It was a lot to process.

I watched shelby’s vod. Before this i had mainly been disconnected from what i had seen, taking it it but not with any of my own feelings or thoughts really, just processing.

Shelby’s situation hits really hard for me because a lot of it mirrors my own abusive relationship of a few years ago. The wording Wilbur used against her, sounds like what my old partner would use against me. His actions, such as her having to clean and taking care of food, and amenities, were things i had to experience.

Abuse TW:

My old partner would physically abuse me through biting as well, he would claim that he just liked knowing i was his, and yet, like shubble, if i ever used our safe word, which happened so fucking often, he either wouldn’t listen, bite down harder on my neck, or fucking smile at me before letting go.

This got to the point that multiple times he had drawn blood from my neck, that i still have scars from today. And as i watch Shubble talk about her story which is ever so close to mine, I wonder that if I had watched this before, maybe i wouldn’t have stayed in that relationship.

I proceeded to stay in this relationship for 2 years before i realized how much harm he was doing to me, because i truly believed he loved me, because of all the lovebombing he would do.

End of Abuse TW:

And yet i felt pain aside from sympathy or memories, when learning of this, as the content Wilbur had put out had actually helped me out of this relationship, his music was pretty much all i listened to the months of healing after i got out and it helped, the art is good, and yet the author is one i cannot respect nor support in anyway now that i am aware.

i’d suggest watching this tiktok by @lasmanburg that really explains my thoughts and feelings on this

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL1tb5Wg/

Right back to the content. I don’t believe that we should throw it all away, i don’t think that people should be deleting their art, fanfiction, or anything based on Wilbur. Because in the end it’s all art that we have created and interpreted and though the man who inspired it is horrible, all that has been made does not reflect his actions, but instead love and creativity from vast multifaceted community.

One can continue their writing and work because they are the ones creating it, not him, and besides most interpretations of him stray quite far from the source anyways

I think that one can continue to engage in his content as long as one does not directly support him, such as pirating his music, but personally at least right now listening to his music which brought me so much comfort-makes me feel sick. So think i’ll be taking a step back.

I don’t really know how to end this, i just needed to get my thoughts out honestly. I have therapy in an hour. I hope all of you who’ve made it to the end have a wonderful day and drink some water. I wish shelby well, and i’m glad she has been able to share this situation. And with that, I must now leave :)

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

ok weeks later i am finally continuing my gwitch rewatch lolz. time for episode 12.... someone PLEASE tell tumblr to stop erasing my posts just as im about to hit post and not being able to undo it because i had the longest write up and now here i am.... rewriting again and trying to remember what i'd written. i'm gonna scream lmao

this part feels so awful now that the series is over and thinking back on ep 24. miorine just comes to, all to see the doors closed and hear suletta's screams and sophie's gunshots on the other side. no doubt in my mind this girl probably dealt with awful nightmares about suletta dying after quiet zero

i know prospera did use this as another XP level up for aerial, but jeez, imagine how much confidence she has in suletta and eri to be able to say something like this. like not just that suletta will go to aerial, but that together they can take on the attackers who at the time prospera didn't know shit about

lmao i dont think ive ever felt so confidently about something that id bet my whole life ln it

ad stella universe is crazy because i can only think the big liberatarian ancap society is some silicon valley fascist's wet dream because how else do you explain the business management girl knowing 1337 hacker skills

stupid asshole

sophie and norea are such tragic characters to me goddamn. like how often were they practicing their piloting to be able to be good enough to join on a mission like this? were they upping their permet score during practice too?

and why exactly is it them who pilot the lfriths instead of someone else from DoF? we never really get a clear answer on why it has to be the teenage girls when later on we see there's a ton of grown men around. i think given what else we know of ad stella, though, it doesn't matter much when we have asticassia as a school for the elite that basically serves for furthering earthian oppression be it by force (ie. see guel's original plans for joining dominicus) or just continuing to further the spoils of space capitalism

when you think of it that way, i don't see DoF any different than say palestinians fighting back against oppression from IDF forces. unless you're a racist fuck, you can't blame palestinian kids for throwing rocks at IDF soldiers, so i can't really blame norea and sophie for joining the fight

to quote fanon:

National liberation, national renaissance, the restoration of nationhood to the people, commonwealth: whatever may be the headings used or the new formulas introduced, decolonization is always a violent phenomenon.

- Frantz Fanon, "Concerning Violence," The Wretched of the Earth

i really do wish they hadn't just sidelined DoF entirely lol if you subscribe even a smidgen to anti-colonialism, its hard not to sympathize with them and shaddiq/grassley girls. and here theyre actually fighting for a just cause and are deserving of sympathy unlike 0079’s fakeout with zeon.

flipping the UC spacenoid/earth dichotomy so that earthians are the exploited class is just good shit when you consider what fuckers like musk want to do lol and its not as set in stone as exploitation only happens on earth either. mercury sounds like an abandoned appalachian mining town at this point with people lured out by jobs and then left to fend for themselves once permet was found elsewhere and their utility to the spacian capitalist class has run dry. and though i take this one with a grain of salt because we never get hard confirmation or denial, the elans were supposedly spacians (norea calls him a spacian even after finding out el5n’s not the real elan and he doesnt say one way or the other).

enough marxist ramblings, here's a cool shot of lfrith ur

whoever added this, i love them

as much as i don't trust bandai with sulemio unless they reverse the mess they've made for themselves.... i just want to fucking know more about notrette so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!

badass shot of lfrith thorn to go with the ur one earlier

snitch boy starts his snitch arc

the whole way guel killing vim plays out felt like it was gonna lead to something cool at the time... it makes me even more mad now knowing that it very likely is all an homage to zeta and kamille stealing the mk-ii and then later watching his mom die lol (ffs we even have the guel episode later on stealing its title from a zeta episode). guel's entire character just leaves such a bad taste in my mouth with everything thats happened recently

to think that 15 mins later she'd just be all ditzy over pancakeing a man after basically peeing her pants here

prospera shooting a gun at quiet zero >>> prospera shooting a gun at plant quetta

this show and this fucking pose, man lmao

AERIAL REBUILD is going to be stuck in my head all night because of this episode.... but look at how fucking cool she looks!!!

okouchi if this is a line you wrote, you, sir, are a troll... her face now is literally just :<

if you have the rebuild aerial and you don't have her posed like this, then what are you even doing?

i still feel like secelia and rouji for sure had no idea how powerful aerial's gund-bit gun was in episode 17. like norea is scared shitless here and tells sophie and olcott to get the fuck away. we have olcott telling us that even though it has school regulations on, it's strong as fuck

that said, i don't think guel was in mortal danger given that the school restrictions don't let them aim at cockpits or whatever, but it sure would've fucked up the darilbalde

oh this line hurts lol

i don't think i ever paused on this frame before lol i really hope peil hags master plan here wasn't just to have el5n get all rapey like he does later on. i mean, probably not and that was moreso el5n's desparate attempts to stay alive given he barely gets a chance to do anything before school shootings 1 and 2 bring everything to shit

comparing this frame versus suletta inside calibarn in ep 24 and suletta is still just a baby at this point in the show lmao she looks like a little teddy bear vs kakkoii ikemen suletta

paused on this frame and it honestly looks cool as hell lmao

and we made it to THE scene

you know, as i said in prior rewatch posts, i had been watching via GJM's fansubs at this point and was gonna wait for them to release their version of episode 12... however, that same suletta sunday i logged on to twitter and immediately got spoiled on this scene lmao so i needed to find out what the fuck happened and stopped waiting on fansubs (i did rewatch later on)

it really is such an amazingly well done scene though like goddamn lol

now that the show's over, i do kind of wonder if there could have been something other than this to become the spark of tension between suletta and miorine. with the exception of sophie (which arguably was more eri's victim than suletta's), suletta never kills anyone again in the show. her final fight ends up being against the gund nodes being commanded by eri lol so she just fights unmanned drones. it's an interesting decision considering the gundam franchise as a whole

i know it's meant to contrast against shaddiq's by any means necessary approach and prospera's willingness to do the same if someone tries to hinder her plans to help eri... but i really just can't get behind the whole violence is always bad no exceptions message behind the show. i do appreciate that shaddiq's plan basically still came to fruition and that it ends up being an in-world analogue to nationalization of industry. and it's really a cherry on top to have sabina call out whether that was for the best - not just that they nationalized industry but that nothing else was done to stop those who don't agree with what miorine did. history has given us countless examples of countries that nationalize various industries just for the united states military to come in and make some shit up and stage a coup and hand over said industry to whatever shithead capitalists were being piss babies about it at the time

lmao i know we're all mad about a lot of the yuri being left on the table because of bandai execs, but i wonder how much of the anti-capitalist message got left on there too. they really had a chance to make guel a real hero and he's just... not lol. episode 15 makes me mad not because it's a guel episode but because nothing ever actually came from DoF existing. like what was the point?

if they just wanted to humanize DoF a bit and introduce the kid that guel and kenanji run into later on, that could have taken half an episode given the insane pacing they chose to go by during the 2nd cour

regardless, i'll still savor little bits here and there

ok lmao i feel like my original post was way better than this and it took me double the time now to make this post but whatever. gonna try to get through some more eps this weekend

[wastemanjohn]

Helloo. For the character ask game. you dont have to answer all of these. I just got greedy

Dean+6

Sam+21

John+11 & 25

Thanks mate! I SHALL ANSWER THEM ALL!

Dean +6 - What's something you have in common with this character? Daddy issues and listening to the same few albums over and over again

Sam+21 - If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like? GOD I love writing Sam. I think my favourite thing to do is the bursts of unhingedness. I like to try and replicate how he'll kind of tick along and take things in his stride and try SO HARD to be a good person then lose his shit and let all The Darkness inside him spill out in one terrifying go. Or sometimes I just stay in the worst and most messed up parts of him and run with it. That's really fulfilling too.

John 11. Would you date this character? ABSOLUTELY NOT 🥲🫠

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now? Believe it or not I absolutely hated him! I found him so pathetic and selfish and I was so upset at how he treated Sam and Dean who I was in the honeymoon phase with ig lmao. Basically I hated him for all the reasons I love him now! I think I was initially so turned off by how he was that I didn't try to understand him, I just put him in the box of "dickhead do not eat"... but then as the show went on and the "presence as absence" thing got more interesting and we got the kind of prequel episodes that explained everything a bit more I developed a bit of sympathy for him I guess and started to find him more and more interesting. Then I stumbled across a johndean fic on ao3 got curious and... I don't really know what happened from there but now I have a johncentric blog, I ship him with the entire world and I can't stop fucking posting about the guy. If you ever wanted proof that people change 😅

come ask me about characters

[necromycologist]

rating 'fantasies' songs by their tlt vibes

recently i got really into this album and ive been listening to it nonstop and i got the urge to make this post so behold.

Help I'm Alive

we open with a BANGER. the whole heart motif beauty of existence thing is very tlt in general but "if we're still alive my regrets are few/if my life is mine what shouldnt i do" feels like it could be ntn cam+pal perhaps. 6/10 for general vibes not really going anywhere specific tho.

Sick Muse

i could see this as a convo between gideon and harrow. "pull your little arrows out an let me live my life" she WOULD say that about love... ily harrowhark necro'mancer nonagesimus lyctorway keep sticking your middle finger up at preps. but the main event is "all the blondes are fantasies/we looked at them eleven ways/you said look at me then looked away" like i dont even need to explain this one. YOU SAID LOOK AT ME THEN LOOKED AWAY the orpheus and eurydice the betrayal the hurt why wont you eat me please please consume me why are you saving me sorry one sec. ill shut up about greek myths now. 7.5/10 that one lyric saved it for me

Satellite Mind

this song is so strange and offputting it has to be about our favourite little bone nun <3 its givin htn harrow "i can feel you most when im alone" um the body the body the body "flashback of a feeling/sixth sense of a calling" its the love! that they couldnt take away!! 6/10 because i think that the dreamy freaky what the fuck is happening are suuuuper htn however the actual lyrics arent super close

Gold Guns Girls

i want this song to be about ianthe tridentarius soooooo bad... i want it to be about our favourite perpetually thirdweeling failgirl so much... like ive never wanted anything else ever oh my GOD... "i remember when you were gambling to win/everybody else said better luck next time" underestimated at canaan house anyone? anyone at all? no takers?? no??? 3/10 because despite my deepest wishes this is just a good song thats not about gay catholic homestuck 😔

Gimme Sympathy

slightly ironic gtn griddlehawk at its finest. "get hot/get too close to the flames" oops! now ur her cavalier "wild open space" gideon-gettin-shocked-by-days-on-earth-emotional.png "talk like an open book" not with that vow of silence. idiot. "sign me up!" shes not signed up haha "ill remember someday all the chances we took" not after the lobotomy u wont lol "we're so close to something better left unknown" cough cough LYCTORHOOD. 9/10 manifesting kiriona giving harrow sympathy after all of this is gone in alecto

Collect Call

hiii ntn fans i prommy i didn’t forget abt u! this one goes out to the psychosexual mess of role playing and bad meals enjoyers <3 "i know it's a lie i want it to be true/the rest of the rot is riding on you" oh boy like i said psychosexual mess... pyrra dve my beloved "wishing you could KEEP! ME! CLOSER! IM A LAZY! DANCER! WHEN YOU MOVE! I! MOVE WITH YOUOOOOOOOOO" oh lord nona placing her hand on cam's shoulder like palamedes would. oh lord being so close in one body and yet a second apart. 8/10 should be higher but i started Having Feelings about nona's death again and couldnt finish listening to the song

Front Row

this is a john song if I’ve ever heard one. “burnt out stars they shine so bright… all of us” is def. giving lyctor vibes. (just children playing with reflections thinking they were stars grauauauagh etc etc) plus plus “he’s not perfect/he’s a victim/of his occupation/social insulation/secret intervention” like fuck dude he really is!!! pilot that president around ordinary dude fuck the world up with your good intentions!!! 10/10 this song is the brainrot undying the kindly prince of my lyctor brainrot

Blindness

besties ngl i am INCREDIBLY torn on this one,,, on one hand “what it is and where it stops nobody knows/you gave me a life i never chose/i wanna leave but the world wont let me go” goes crazy hard. like harrowhark ‘cursed to keep living’ nonagesimus? hello is that u? on the other hand the whole opening sequence of this is very blood of eden coded… 5/10 this song has a very Character Energy about it but i think i must accept that that character is probably not a tlt one

Stadium Love

ohohohoo! here she comes!! this song IS about canaan house like the whole thing n nothing will convince me otherwise. "wanna make a deal/angel versus eel" hm im getting gideighth betrayal vibes from this "rabbit versus dove" WHAT DID I SAY colum get back here your government assigned fursona is in the song "owl versus dove" uuuuuh this can be about the sixth being cool basically whenever because sixth -> wisdom -> athena -> owl. idc that they live on mercury fuck off. the blorbos may be smart but i dont have to be. btw camilla hect if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out plz respond and then hang out with me on thursday night when im free. u can bring your necromancer too if yw. "every living thing pushed into the ring" duel time every (necro)man(cer) for himself "guess you thought you could just watch" go on enforce that cohort order judith! it wont backfire at all haha! "NO. ONES. GETTING. OUT" well. uh. none of them are. plus cant you just see the Character Portrait Flashes AMV Moments to the wooowooos?? cant you??? "without STADIUM LOVE" the last time they say this w the beat drop it should be gidedeath cytherea duel epic timez and then the echoing "love love" at the end is harrow waking up and mouthing The Three Syllables TM. 11/10 somebody lend me their animation skills please i would be sooo epic and responsible with them i have a Vison...

in conclusion thx for listening to my deranged ramblings (if anyone actually does.) please go listen to fantasies its so so good... message me and we can brainrot thru it together xoxo

[littlenekosfan]

so i know some people think jugo was thankful that yhwach killed his uncle in this fire, but he never showed any sort of gratitude about it.. lemme explain

we all know jugo’s uncle was abusive toward him, and its honestly hard to tell for sure what kind of abuse or how it would happen, he’s evil that’s without a doubt, but was he to jugo’s eyes? i know it was telling in that one panel, but abuse isnt just about hurting the other, there is that “affection” given there and there so it make it seem its “just a bad phase, he actually loves you” or sometimes you have the power imbalance that makes him not question his uncle's authority or even worse, jugo doesnt know better, he knows he doesnt like it, but perhaps he thinks its something normal or that he deserves it (for the useless child he is, we all know he has low self-esteem so)

so we cant know for sure what was happening between the two, all we know is that it was bad in our pov

when bazz shows up in the picture, jugo is exposed to another kind of love, a genuine friendship, and we see him how he needed that, he accepts and embraces it the moment he feels more than just a tool in the relationship (he wasnt so keen about it at first bc new relationship was not an option bc it would be troublesome.. if his uncle were to know, he knows it would end up bad). and so, during these 6 months, it was just.. better for him (not the best times but not the worst) even if he couldnt hang out with bazz all the time

when the fire happened, we see him being totally indifferent about it, and really, he didnt show any sadness nor joy, and i believe its because 

no sadness: i already explained that one, but jugram didnt understand bazz’ relationship with his parents/home and how much it meant to him, and with his background, he simply cant feel sympathy even less empathy

no joy: this is fucked up and i know you guys dont wanna hear this, but maybe he didnt wish death to him, that he cared about him somehow, and im saying this with no intention to make you feel bad about his uncle, what im trying to say is,,as someone who can relate to jugo’s trauma, i can understand how he’s not one bit joyous about it, not even glad, maybe relieved and even then, that can be a big word for what he feels,, and this is what trauma is like, his uncle was still someone who gave him a home and fed him (arguably) when his very own parents abadonned him (whatever how that happened, jugo seems to not know himself) so all he had was his uncle, its hard to believe he would hate him with all his being and wish he was dead already… and i know some of you would think “no no he would hate him and run away” would he? we tend to project as adults.. , but adults who lived csa, they know they didnt know how bad it was when they were young, when you grow up, you start to realize a lot of fucked up things about that abuse and how it affects you as an adult, so we cant blame or expect jugo do have done something about it and even hate his uncle for it… its sad i know, but im pointing that out bc…

in friend 3 chapter, jugo did not show an ounce of hesitation when it came to yhwach giving him a position (he hesitated bc of bazz, not bc he thinks good of yhwach) nor did he ever mention him ever again after the fire, which is a sign he coped with his trauma, he put a term on it (although his actions still show signs of it, he simply doesn't think about Him anymore) and that’s a good thing! im really happy for him that he could grow as a person and have a healthy relationship with someone who doesn't see him as a tool but as a person

and also the fact jugo trained to hard to fight FOR bazz tells us how he values his friend wellbeing/goal more than his trauma, (god this sounds terrible, lemme rephrase that) after his uncle’s death, jugo didnt know what to do anymore, so bazz suggests him to kill yhwach, jugo isnt reluctant to that idea bc he’s the reason his friend lost everything, and he wasnt too into it bc he doesnt feel hate for yhwach like bazz did, so he joins him for bazz goal instead of just roaming around with no home, and as he grow to train more and more, he did it with the intention to help his friend, not to kill yhwach (bc if it was the case,we wouldnt have friend3), to make it short, jugo’s intention in friend3 (before and during the breakup) were always about helping bazz and not join yhwach bc he thinks he owe him or he’s grateful for what he did to his uncle

so to say yhwach saved him from his uncle is one thing, but saying jugo was thankful yhwach did that to him is not quite true, it was a turning point in his life which permitted him to have a new life (“so yhwach did save jugo”, yeah, by ruining his friend’s life and make them survive in a forest for 5 years all alone and have the worst breakup in bleach, he had to put up with exchanging powers for who knows how long and how much that didnt let him sleep or have the right mind, and to lose all the kingdom he build during these 999yrs, all that for ultimately regretting abandoning his friend for power… yeah, he “saved him”)

[menalez]

hey im sorry if i say anything that you dont like or agree with mena. feel free to not post this ask or delete it, i just really need to get this out of my system. but on god these anons who are sending you these asks, have 0 decency and are just so… fucking awful like oh my god, im genuinely shocked at how entitled one could possibly be. like the ugly things that are being sent to your ask box is so baffling to me. and these weirdos are honestly just animals to me with no fucking empathy for women. the fact that some of you animals are even going as far as suggesting that mena is lying about being SAed is so disgusting. like words truly can not explain how disgusted i am. and i know that this is tumblr so people on this website just looove to act like brain dead degenerates, but who the fuck do any of you think you are questioning this womans traumatic past? its so sad to witness such vile behavior. if a woman is saying she was SAed and emotionally guilt tripped, gaslit, etc., is it really that hard to believe her and show a little fucking sympathy and move on with your lives? whatever happened to believing women when they say they have experienced SA? or do you not care about that because its that fucking important to you whether a stranger on the internet is a lesbian or not, that you have to debate her about her traumas on tumblr. i know none of you are ever going to care about the fact that youre being absolute assholes, but i feel sorry for you weirdos because youre so utterly brain dead and you guys are just…. freak losers who are being apathetic to a woman who has clearly suffered in her past due to men. i am really truly sorry this is happening to you mena, and i am sorry about what you went through in your past. you dont deserve any of this.

whatever happened to believing women when they say they have experienced SA? or do you not care about that because its that fucking important to you whether a stranger on the internet is a lesbian or not, that you have to debate her about her traumas on tumblr.

this part tho. and the fact that this all started w people who have their own trauma, sexual and otherwise, too. like. i hope no one ever uses what u said and did while being abused & after being abused to argue u actually liked it the way u did to me fr.

[mental-skillness]

this is the first time ive felt that "oh. fuck" sensation when researching disorders. like with bpd and ocd and everything it was like. I feel like i know how that feels. This was more like, oh, that's exactly how i feel. and I'm high maybe im not reliable right now but the more i think about it the more i feel like it explains everything. why i disconnect in groups (because people dont talk to me enough) but do better one on one (no one else to talk to). why i sometimes feel like my behaviors arent lining up with my moral code and immediately start thinking of ways to make myself look better. why i always feel like i know what im talking about when i dont. why i feel so frusturated that people see me as incapable but simultaneously can't fault them. why ive always felt in control of how i feel about other people. why ive only ever been able to form close relationships if theyre too close and theyre the most important person in my life and it bothers me that im not theirs. why it doesnt feel exactly like romantic attraction but it still feels like love. why ive always felt a little manipulative even when im really not trying to be. why i always feel so ashamed of myself. why i want everyone to worry about me more than necessary when i feel bad. why ive always been parasuicidal and felt/known that it was at it's core attention seeking even when it was hidden, because i didnt want to die i just wanted to want to die because then id be deserving of that level of sympathy. why im so prone to bouts of neuroticism. why after puberty i stopped feeling insecure about my looks and started feeling like i was super lucky in the looks department. why i feel like if i were to stop being so insecure about my flaws id be an awful person

but i also feel like i know how to communicate and i WANT to communicate and i want to improve myself so that i dont hurt people. and i have been trying to. ive recognized that im avoidant and i push people away and i am trying to not do that now even when i get the urge to. i am trying to practice changing my behaviors to alleviate the guilt instead of just feeling bad about it. i feel like i am getting healthier and maybe that means it's not npd it was just addiction and depression and anxiety. bc personality disorders are supposed to be enduring, right? like it's not meant to be something you notice on your own and slowly learn to fix, and ive been trying to fix myself for years

[radiorutters]

I'm Sorry. Really, I'm trying so hard to not be... this. Any of it. But it's how i am right now and what im thinking. I'm legitimately struggling not to. Feel this.

God im fucking angry with myself. I really really really don't fucking like me. I don't feel capable, and it isn't because i haven't tried to convince myself otherwise or show it. But i keep trying, i keep pushing and working and thinking and processing but nothing clicks.

Im slow, i don't understand things, i dont fucking function. I don't fucking work, i dont function as a person or like anything. Fuck. Im stupid and slow and wasteful, im mindless and act careless and i make too many fucking mistakes.

Why can't i just work anything out? I'm genuinely trying so hard and I can't explain to people what im not getting. I ruin things and then i get confused about it. Fuck i feel completely worthless and burdensome and retarded and mean and helpless. Even with guidance im sitting there seemingly slack jawed and asking "huh???" At clearly worded obvious things. Fuck, and smoking weed is supposed to help? Im sober right now and feel like fucking actual fucking shit.

But nooo go ahead. Relax, get more treats get more affection. Beg and beg and beg for things to be better or good and watch as i realize its all my fucking own fault. Why the fuck would i deserve sympathy when so much, literally everything is stuff that happened because of my actions and choices and words? How i say cruel heartless things to people i genuinely never would ever want to hurt.

I still don't fucking understand things, i could have the full big picture and still squint at it like I'm not getting it. Im hurting all over, my body is aching from the pain in my chest and gut. I can't eat, i have no appetite because im so fucking nauseous. I've been struggling to sleep or eat for a minute now. I wake up all the time, been having nightmares, been inclined to cry constantly for like a week now. Can't though. Hate myself too much to let it happen alone and i can't fucking STAND someone else seeing it. Why me? Why am i host? Do they think I'm capable of dealing with this? Do they think I'm responsible?

I'm stuck up front anyway, its not like it would matter even if i could pick someone in the crew who got it better to front. I'm a loser, I'm greedy, im stupid and mean and bad at it. I DON'T feel good. I will, probably, like I'll be fine and I'm clearly overreacting but i can't turn it off.

Im straight up having a trauma reaction because my pathetic baby toddler cry baby ass fucking self can't get over our dad screaming at us for being stupid, or for how much I've lost. I've lost too much and I can't even complain about it because it doesn't matter, none of it matters. Fuck god i hate myself

[starrdio]

I am watching the NGE rebuilds rn. And I dont think anything has made me dislike Shinji as a protagonist MORE than the end of 3.0. Because throughout the series Shinji has been a coward and a doormat, but that was part of why the show is good. He is a human boy in an impossible position with human flaws trying to do the best he can, including figuring out what 'the best he can do' even means. Hell, even including trying to save his friend and accidentally causing the Third Impact! But AT THE END OF 3.0. OOOOOOOORGH.

Shinji is passive, and does what he's told. Don't blame him for that. Shinji is desperate, and will go to frankly unreasonable lengths for a crumb of affection. Don't blame him for that. But initiating the fourth impact had NONE of these understandable, established, tragic flaws. They explain why he would go down in the first place-- not to mention the fact that he is truly desperate for a way to fix what he accidentally caused-- but as far as STILL GOING FOR THE SPEARS AFTER KAWORU SAID TO STOP he was JUST BEING A DUMBASS. He claimed that he was getting the Spears for Kaworu, who was ACTIVELY TELLING HIM TO STOP. Alongside, of course, literally everyone else.

Was he desperate to try and fix his mistake? Yes, and I can see why that would influence his decisions and rationality. But if he would just stop and listen for one fucking second then maybe things wouldn't have gone EVEN FURTHER TO SHIT. It was INFURIATING to see this guy get told "Oh shit this is not the thing that will let us fix what was destroyed, and in fact I am getting vibes that it is bad instead", ignore the person who is ostensibly the one he trusts most and told him abt this in the first place, and then when there are consequences he says "what? The thing I did was bad and not good?"

Yes. Everybody you have ever trusted said as much. My sympathy only stretches so far dude

[timeslive-inhouse]

3, 6, 21, 54, and 57 with all of your ocs?

fuck i really regret listing so many lol under the cut bc Big Long

3. What is their biggest motivator?

~Sympathy! Babes~

Rowan: Fear, pure fear. He’s a deer in the headlights

Lana: She wants people to respect her and her abilites more than anything

Hope: Hope’s really into balance. Shit needs to be equal and perfect and it needs to be balanced goddamnit

Damien: Love drives him to do anything. And also money. but mostly love

~DnD babes~

Glory: Happiness. They actually really fucking hate fame and glory, they just want to be happy

Corvin: Money. You don’t get to be a fae prince without greed.

Jiloweh: That deep satisfaction you feel when you successfully navigate a social interaction perfectly. That’s her shit

Jasper: To be seen as equal. There’s something about being created to be expendable that fucks you over. He just wants to be the same as everyone else (and that’s why Salah was the only person in Alaija that could talk to him on his level)

Salah: Boredom (more specifically, the movement away from boredom). She lives off of drama. Being 2k+ years old and in a million and one social circles helps

Rex: Safety. He has no idea how he’s in the most powerful pseudoarmy. He also has no idea how he’s second in command of said pseudoarmy. God bless En and Ainne for keeping this poor boy relatively secure in his mortality

6. What do they like to wear?

~Sympathy! Babes~

Rowan: Damien’s sweatshirts and Lana’s jeans (it’s not his fault they’re comfortable)

Lana: Combat boots, ripped jeans, and camo jackets

Hope: Skirts, floral prints, sweaters, very femme aesthetic

Damien: Leather jackets, sweatshirts, jeans, sweatpants, and a little bit of emo/punk

~DnD babes~

Glory: Glory wears what Glory wants

Corvin: Fur, leaves, woven shadows, anything stupid decadent

Jiloweh: Dress shirt, dress pants, practical formality

Jasper: He doesn’t need to wear pants he’s a golem

Salah:Jumpsuit/skintight. Welcome from Parallax, we have scifi and space travel and i’m sorry Elias but Alaijan clothes aren’t comfy

Rex: Nice jeans and the stolen shirts and jackets of literally everyone in the Quartz Guard (save Elektra bc of the whole, yaknow, no physical form)

21. Favorite kind of weather?

(ok so it’s technically not weather but)

~Sympathy! Babes~

Rowan: Thunderstorms at 6 am when lightning flashes through the curtains and lights up the early morning with a demand because good mcfucking morning and good mcfucking night.

Lana: When it’s the dry heat of summer and the cicadas are screaming and the sun is slowly dipping below the horizon and you feel the first breeze of night against the fading light and everything is tinged golden.

Hope: 3 am when the moon is full and the sky is clear and you can see a million billion stars echoing in unison, it’s not too hot and not too cold, but you bring a jacket anyway. A slight, dewy mist covers the ground, but the sound of the stars is sharp enough to cut glass.

Damien: Winter noon, when the sun is singing a song of ice and rage, the sky is cloudy, but you can still see the disk of the sun and it doesn’t burn your eyes. Everything is wonderfully grey and every color seems to glow, and a soft fog of breath blurs everything.

~DnD babes~

Glory: The icy howl of a blizzard raging outside while you’re sitting in a blackout by the lit fireplace, reading old stories and feeling the ember glow warm up your fingers. The plink-plink-plink of icicles falling as the marshmellows and cocoa boils over the fire.

Corvin: The rumble of thunder echoing through a noontime forest, darkened by storm clouds so dark they’re purple, the building humidity before the rain falls as a sheet, crashing through the leaves and roots and buildings and streets.

Jiloweh: The bright bright blue of just-after-dawn, while the sun is still a red disk on the horizon, but the orange cracks of daybreak have faded to a pale, vivid blue against the soft white of one or two lagging clouds.

Salah: Immediately after rain when the ground is drinking up the drops and everything is starting to come out of its dens, starting to wake up again, and the air is filled with crisp petricore.

Rex: A partially cloudy sunset, when the colors spill over the sky like a cracking egg, the pinks streaking the clouds, the vivid orange that stains everything a deep gold, the breath caught in your throat as the first violets begin their march, Venus, dotting the Moon, painted against a deep umber backdrop.

54. What is their MBTI type?

(i have no idea what mbti types are and tbh im too tired to Words and Research)

57. What D&D alignment are they?

~Sympathy! Babes~

Rowan: Neutral evil

Lana: Lawful evil

Hope: Lawful good

Damien: Neutral good

~DnD babes~

Glory: Glory neutral (na jk they’re chaotic neutral)

Corvin: Chaotic bastard

Jiloweh: Lawful neutral

Jasper: True neutral

Salah: Chaotic good

Rex: Lawful good

[tunglrmobileisshit]

.

[starglow-xx]

hello! may i request headcanons for chuuya having a crush on someone who's dense? like he could ask them out in the most straightforward way possible and it would still go over their head?

yes, yes of course you may!

sorry this took so long! my computer was out of commission for abt a week (or two..??)

but this is also my birthday writing piece for chuuya!! (4/29/21) i even added a small drabble thingy in addition to the hcs for the occasion hehe

from where i am, it is about fifteen minutes past midnight so it’s officially chuuya day here!!

happy birthday chuuya i love you! you deserve the whole world and everyone is willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure your happiness! we love you! 💗💗

anyways, i hope you all enjoy this! i kinda had some writer’s block but it was still a lot of fun to write! there might be some mistakes, but i’ll scan over it again later. reader is gender neutral! have fun!

chuuya having a crush on a dense! reader

nakahara chuuya x gn! reader

im cackling somebody help him

he’s frustrated bc you can’t take a hint or a thousand but he can’t even be mad bc he’s whipped

“look at you all dressed up today, wanna go out later? my treat?”

“oh really? thanks chuuya-san! you’re such a nice friend. i’ll go invite the others right now, i’ll see you later!”

“...”

fast forward to later in the evening and he finds himself at a little restaurant with the black lizard + higuchi and akutagawa

sigh

in unison all of them go, “thank you for the meal chuuya-san!” (except aku and hirotsu are quieter & and gin just a nods hehe)

“no problem” (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

gin only pats him on the back in sympathy

he spends a lot of time trying to think of ways to make it absolutely and undeniably clear that he has feelings for you

he always fails

“(y/n) i like you”

“i like you too chuuya-san”

“really?”

“mhm”

“t-then will you—”

“you’re a really great friend! and superior too”

“...nevermind”

“oh were you saying something?”

“nah, just forget about it”

tachihara is laughing in the corner of the corridor

dont worry, chuuya made sure to get back at him

chuuya’s been pinning after you for years and frankly, his failed attempts to woo you has lead everyone to the breaking point

and i mean everyone

yes, even aku

hell even dazai

but dazai also thinks it’s funny, so he doesn’t mind all that much

okay bye bye dazai-san this headcanon set isn’t abt you rn

PLEASE EVERYONE FEELS SO BAD FOR HIM

they knew even if he kissed you, you still might not get it

so they decided to help him

super secret mission get chuuya and (y/n) together is a go!

they’re still working on a proper mission name, don’t mind them

they had a super secret strategy meeting!

you can bet your ass that they nearly got nothing done

akutagawa & kaiji weren’t much help, neither was higuchi, mori, or elise

tachihara nearly got killed for a thoughtless comment

“just tell them chuuya-san!”

“i already fucking did you ass!”

gin, hirotsu, and kouyou were the most helpful !!

hirotsu and kouyou both agreed on the idea that chuuya should try courting with bouquets of flowers instead of flat out asking you bc they knew you found them pretty

(even if you don’t identify as a female, flowers are for everyone no matter gender or sexuality! so let’s normalize giving flowers to everyone <33 )

gin didn’t speak but she used cards to communicate

everyone knew that you weren’t stupid (you wouldn’t have survived in the mafia if you were) but they did know that you were only stupid when it came to all this lovey dovey stuff

i mean, if chuuya gave you flowers every so often, there’s no way that you wouldn’t piece it together at some point

right...??

but kouyou assured him that even though you wouldn’t get it right away, you’d appreciate the gestures and that he’ll stand out more

she even said that if someone gave her flowers, she would appreciate it, whether or not she reciprocated their feelings

it takes guts to be so up front with your feelings after all

gin and hirotsu only nodded with her explanation

once again, this only provoked a reaction out of tachihara

“what do you know gin? i get the old man and kouyou-san, they’re grown, but you? what do you know abt courting? or flowers? what are you a girl?”

akutagawa choked on his cough, higuchi on air, and on the other side of yokohoma at the ada, dazai is cackling

yes, dazai somehow placed a listening device onto chuuya’s hat and was listening in

don’t ask how, it’s dazai

“DAZAI GET YOUR BANDAGED ASS OFF THE COUCH AND STOP LAUGHING”

anyways

the next day, chuuya did what was barely discussed and for once, things actually started to look up

until they started look to down again

at first, it actually looked like you understood his intentions after he gave you a bouquet of flowers

literally everyone was leaning against the opposite hallway you two were in and then they got excited !!

especially chuuya !

but then your expression sort of changed...??

and then in their heads they simultaneously went, “oh no”

they knew that expression

it was very familiar when you tended to friend zone chuuya

but boy let me tell you what you said next made them facepalm and or make their jaws drop

“ah, so you really are friend zoning me huh chuuya-san; what a shame, i really did like you”

LEMME TELL YOU WHEN I SAY THAT CHUUYA WAS DISTRESSED I MEAN HE WAS DISTRESSED

you liked him??

him of all people??

he wasn’t complaining, no of course not, but he still couldn’t believe it

but that wasn’t what he was really focusing on right now

what in any form or language did it say he was friend zoning you?!

flower language apparently

chuuya chose to buy the bouquet of yellow roses, pink carnations, and yellow carnations bc he thought you would appreciate the brighter colors, and so that you’d remember them better (because remembering them, meant remembering him)

but ooh boy

altogether, they meant the exact opposite message he wanted to send

someone help him pls

“you see chuuya-san, yellow roses mean friendship, pink carnations mean gratitude, and yellow carnations mean rejection; sooo in a nutshell, these pretty much say ‘thank you for being my friend, but im rejecting you”

no one can tell if tachihara is crying or wheezing

and dazai is having the time of his life

yes, he started listening in on him again

and chuuya is just stunned

like speechless and unmoving stunned

is he just bad at this whole courting/dating thing?? it’s only been one day and of it and somehow he was the one doing the rejecting??

“thank you for the flowers chuuya-san, i’ll be going now; i’ll make sure to let this affect our friendship. i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you passed by the not so subtle group of people

“tachihara-kun..?? are you alright?”

just for context, he was leaning his forehead against the wall using his forearm

again, it was hard to tell whether he was crying or wheezing

“i-im okay (y/n)-san...i think c-chuuya-san has it worse than me”

“...okay..?”

BACK TO CHUUYA

he’s still frozen poor baby

but it’s okay bc after like 5 more seconds he’s chasing you down the hallway you were walking in

kouyou, with a knowing smile on her face, ushers everyone away towards the opposite direction

she received some whines (ahem, tachihara and mori) but silenced them by summoning golden demon

but it’s okay

if they run fast enough, they can see what happens through the security cameras

chuuya caught up with you and tried to explain everything but he was exhausted

emotionally, physically (bc since when did you walk that fast??), and generally just tired with the whole situation

he just wanted to call you his; was that too much to ask??

as explosive as he can be, he can be calm and collected too

and he really did try to be that way as he talked with you but it was very difficult at the moment

the dumbfounded and confused look on your face his face twitch with annoyance and his heart started beating faster bc god you were cute

BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT RIGHT NOW

thank goodness after what seemed like years, you finally somewhat understood what happened

you didn’t understand completely but it was something

The two of you stood in the middle of the unusually empty hallway facing each other, you with the bouquet still in hand. It was quiet as you and Chuuya assessed the situation.

You looked at him skeptically and he stared right back you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“...So you do like me Chuuya-san??”

“Yes”

“And you were trying to court me just now, not friend zone me??”

“Yes”

You got most of your questions out of the way, but there was something that you’ve been wondering about for quite a while.

“...So you’re not gay for Dazai-san??”

“Yes, im not wait—GAY FOR DAZAI?? THAT MACKEREL??”

Chuuya did a double take. What in heavens name made it seem like he liked that suicidal maniac?? Why would he choose him if he had you?

Like he would choose him anyways; or ever consider him as a possible romantic partner.

“Oh, so you are?”

“NO! I SAID I LIKED YOU DIDN’T I?”

“Well yeah, but I thought you liked Dazai-san too. As annoying as he is, he can be quite charming—”

He was out of patience at this point (nope definitely not because you were talking about Dazai who told you that?) and just decided to kiss you.

You immediately melted into the kiss and kissed him back with the same amount of love and feeling.

Letting the bouquet fall to the ground, you wrapped you arms around his neck and his put his on your lower back and brought you closer to him. After a few more moments, the two of you broke apart for air.

The two of you, slightly out of breath, leaned your foreheads against each other and just basked in each others presence.

Chuuya looked into your (e/c) eyes and asked you just a little bit above a whisper, “Now do you get my intentions and feeling?”

You blinked at him before breaking out into a grin, “Hmm I’m not sure; do you wanna do that again Chuuya?”

The red head only blinked back at you before rolling his eyes, a smile present on his handsome features, his heart fluttering at you using his name with the honorific.

“Dumbass”

Smiling cheekily at him, you pressed a kiss on his cheek and started dragging him towards the lobby to take a walk around the building perimeter, knowing that the two of you can’t be too far from work.

The way down to the lobby was mostly in comfortable silence until you said something that made Chuuya want to bash his head against the wall.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you liked me Chuuya. It’s not like I would’ve said no.”

Once again, as the rest of the more power mafia members watch from security cameras, it is hard to tell whether Tachihara is crying or wheezing of laughter.

omake !!

The two of you just started making your way around the building when suddenly a very familiar voice came from Chuuya’s prized hat.

“Chuuyaaaa!! It was about time you stopped being a chicken, Chibi!”

Removing his hat from his head, he started yelling at it not knowing exactly where the listening device was planted.

“TEME! HOW DID YOU—”

“And (y/n)! I would congratulate you, but I think I would rather offer you my condolences. Why him?! He’s just a slimy slug. OOH OOH how would you like to join me in a double suicide?! A shame it won’t be a lover’s suicide but it’ll annoy Chuuya so I think it’ll be worth it! ”

“YOU—”

“And please don’t kiss while I’m listening in. You made me lose my appetite! And it was such a shame! I was eating crab using Kunikida-kun’s money! Do you know what you’ve cost me?!”

“DAZAI YOU PIECE OF—”

“Ah! Kunikida-kun is here! I have to go!”

You can hear something is the background that vaguely sounds like, “DAZAI YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES STOP USING MY MONEY”

“DAZAI DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE IM NOT DONE WITH—”

*Click!*

The click sound from the hat revealed that Dazai disconnected.

Chuuya twitched and glared furiously at his signature hat hating that the voice he hated the most came out of it.

“Aww, I didn’t get to talk to Dazai-san”

Chuuya whipped his head towards you, a look of mock (or real) betrayal showing on his features.

You laughed at him before taking the hat out of his hands and placing it on his head.

He shyly looked away before muttering a thanks making you smile wider. Just as the two of you were about to start walking, a small explosion erupted from his hat; it was likely that Dazai made the listening device self destruct.

“DAZAI YOU BASTARDD”

At the Armed Detective Agency, a certain suicidal maniac hid from the wrath of his current partner as he thought about the wrath his old one.

“Hmmm I wonder if Chuuya would finally stop wearing his ugly hats if I blow all of them up...”

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[cosmicjoke]

When Misumi was mentioned by Muraji Yashiro had this force laugh as if this was really for him. Nah, Misumi least his worries about this case. Tsunakawa's group is ready to give him money, even more if you say money is not what he's after. Doumeki doesn't owe him an explaination since he was the one who got kicked, literally. Doumeki calmly told him to back off for his safety, and again with Muraji, the least Yashiro could do is respect that and back off, let them fight their own fight. Oh, he's suicidal and want to get into the danger? That's even more selfish. his blood will be on Doumeki and Tsunakawa. You going to justify that with "he's in love with Doumeki" too?

Say whatever you like that he's in love with Doumeki (that much is already established since 4 years ago), the fact remains he kicked him out his life and out of his life Doumeki did, and now he's pulling himself to him again. Got hurt knowing he's got a "woman". WTF bro? Tsundere much?? And yeah, Doumeki did order him that, and said No. And clearly Doumeki backed off on that too—and here he is again pulling Doumeki. He got hurt when Kamiya was station to him. That's what I mean using him whenever he please. ( Oh also dont forget he sucks him off whenever he feels like and pouts if Doumeki says no. ) Yashiro said No. But keeps pulling Doumeki in? Saying he'll do after all?

Sympathy, Empathy, Compassion, throw those words to justify Yashiro's actions towards Doumeki? I get it, they cant be all rosy happy and honest after all these years and after all that happened between them, but at least give him the courtesy not to lie. Dont say anything. Dont say you dont remember. Dont say you dont care . And get scared if he hates you?

Doumeki has been honest, this rough handling is his "honesty". He was hurt of what he did to him. That's not exactly on Yashiro, but you cant deny what Yashiro did, it wasn't just a slap on a hand what he did to Doumeki. Yashiro doesn't need to wonder if Doumeki hates him, he needs to reflect on what he even did to Doumeki, not just the bullets either, cause it seems like that's his only concern.

Okay, Yashiro hater. You've got a bug up your ass about him, you can sulk in it yourself. I hate to break this to you, since you're so hell bent on shitting on him, but Yashiro is the main character of this story, not Doumeki. The focus is on him, and his struggle. You clearly don't understand anything about his character, and why he's done the things he's done. If you can't find sympathy or empathy for him, if you can't understand his motivations simply because they're not spelled out in big block letters for your dumb ass, then what the fuck are you doing reading this story? Get the fuck outta' here with your shit.

And no, Doumeki ISN'T being honest. He's hiding his feelings and sending Yashiro into a tailspin of doubt in the process. You want proof? The scene from chapter 46, I think, when Yashiro asks why Doumeki insisted on taking him home, and Doumeki lies and tells him he's just being polite. Bullshit. Yashiro had what amounted to a panic attack in that moment. You're one of these people that clearly has no grasp of the affects of trauma, or how it can impact a person and their reactions and decisions. That's hilarious, considering that's what this story is all about. Like I said, engendering compassion for people suffering from trauma. Yashiro was never trying to hurt Doumeki. He was trying to help him. He went about it in the wrong way, but his intent was never malicious, you fool, and yet you keep insisting and acting like that's exactly what it was, like he only ever wanted to make Doumeki suffer. What, is your reading comprehension level that low? Can you not read between lines at all? Is Yashiro's obvious guilt and suffering over what he did to Doumeki, his plain statement that it's understandable if Doumeki hates him now, not enough to make you understand that he feels regret over his actions? That he never meant to cause Doumeki pain? Maybe you should stick to scholastic books. They're both accountable here. They've both got good reasons for being less than truthful. You can't seem to extend the same understanding to Yashiro as you do Doumeki, and it's painfully, sickeningly obvious the reason why. You just hate Yashiro. Great. Good for you. I ask again, then, why the fuck are you reading a story ABOUT him?

I swear, you people are unbearably stupid.

Don't send me any more asks. I'm not here to listen to this shit. If you do, I'll just turn my anon asks off.

Fucking unbelievable.