#fuck snape fr

[timdrakemybeloved]

Snape makes me so fucking mad holy fuck, I’m incapable of thinking of him positively. I don’t even like Draco and I think of him 10x more positively than I think of Snape.

What kind of person gets bullied as a child and then grows up and bullies the child of his bully like that makes him way worse than James (btw I love James and I fully believe he matured and grew up and is a good person who deserved more than for Snape to tell a literal Nazi terrorist to kill him and his infant son but to leave his wife alive). Snape had way more power over the kids he taught than James did over him and what did he do with it?

He made fun of their appearance and scared them to the point that he was Neville’s boggart (which when you think about it is so awful because 1, Neville’s parents got tortured into insanity and I’m pretty sure he was there, and his boggart probably should have been Bellatrix or his uncle even, and 2, he did it because Neville was the other possible prophecy child and Snape was upset that Voldie didn’t pick him to kill when HE GAVE HIM THE PROPHECY IN THE FIRST PLACE).

He said shitty things about Harry’s dead parents and orphan-hood, was glaring at Harry literally right off the bat so don’t say it was because he got into trouble a lot, asked him questions he couldn’t possibly know, told Draco to summon a serpent during duelling club??? How irresponsible is that???

Literally lied to the minister just to get Sirius killed, which atp is ridiculous (I think Sirius was dumb as fuck, careless, possibly malicious, to tell snape where to go to find moony, but snape literally already suspected that Remus was a werewolf so idk what the fuck he thought was gonna happen if he found him during the full moon, and calling it a murder attempt is a stretch), like grow up please this man was in Azkaban for 12 years which is a hugely disproportionate punishment for anything he did do to you, and the reason he was there in the first place was literally fraudulent, which he knew and he lied anyway.

And honestly the Legilimancy lessons were fucking joke, who looks through an abused kids memories and makes fun of both the abuse and the few good memories he has?? And then he’s surprised that Harry tried to equal the playing field between them?? Snape had way more power than Harry did, and obviously it wasn’t the best thing to do to a person but yk what I’m not going to judge Harry’s actions, Snape was abusive and the victim isn’t to blame for their reactions to their abuser.

And he threw Harry across the room for seeing his memories?? Abuse. To be honest even seeing the memory about James being a bully felt like JKR trying to make shit up as fast as possible to make Snape seem more redeemable, which apparently worked for some people who think abusing kids is okay as long as you have a tragic backstory and an abusive parent. And it actually makes me really mad that he thought Harry was treated like a prince so decided to treat him like shit so he wouldn’t get any ideas about having self esteem or confidence, then found out that he was abused and then just did nothing and tbh treated him worse. And the lessons themselves were actually painful to Harry?? They definitely made his mind more vulnerable, he had more nightmares.

And let’s not forget that he joined a Nazi group that wanted to exterminate people like his best friend, called his best friend a slur, viewed Lily as an exception to the other muggleborns, and invented sectumsempura for his enemies IN SCHOOL which means the Maurauders.

And it makes me sick that he looked in a room with a crying baby whose parents just got murdered, his mom right in front of him, and a dead woman who was killed by his Nazi leader like directly because of his actions, and then he ignored the baby and went to hug the woman’s dead body. Like if I was Lily, I wouldn’t want him near either my body or my child, but if he was my only option, then he better be fucking taking care of my living son. Like she rejected him his weird obsession for her freaks me tf out.

And I get that without Snape asking for Lily to be spared, Voldemort wouldn’t have asked Lily to stand aside and the blood protection wouldn’t have been activated, but literally once good thing happening because of a tragedy he caused doesn’t make him a good person.

Anyway. Think I got it out of my system for now. Fuck Snape. :)

Edit: Just to be clear, I actually find his character really compelling, even though I dislike him and his actions. And of course I’m not saying no one can like Snape.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Snivllus: Fuck gay people

Barty: Oh I do, every single day

Evan: Amen

Dorcas: Truely a pleasure to do, will recommend

Regulus *grinning*: My boyfriend has the same to do list

Pandora: No self deprecating thoughts out loud go away

[ummyesisthisjasongrace]

"we need more complex characters" honey you couldn't even handle Albus Dumbledore

[murk888]

Aro 👉👈

I DIDN'T HAVE MY TWILIGHT STAGE IN TIME, OKAY?!? Now I watch the films while dying from laughter most of the time, their faces I can't-

MICHAEL SHEEN >>>>> 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

[gladdy-art]

Erm I drew that rel Goff from hairy potah because he is neat.

Ps. Jk Rowling… more like Jk Not-cool-ling!!!

Pps. Why tf this moffo gotta be in love with that chick? Can’t he just have a childhood best friend?

Ppps. I’m officially deleting his poopoo cannon motivations from my memory

Pppps. Why do you just keep adding p

[rewritingcanon]

snape apologists: omg poor baby boy he never did anything wrong he’s had a rough childhood but he was always a sweetheart like hes a total victim! a victim!!! hes never done anything to warrant what he got and he deserves sm better than that absolute *insert any misogynistic term here* lily he totally didn’t deserve what SHE did to him 😢😢

canon snape, literally making whole ass spells that torture his enemies and being an overall sassy feral shit who also happens to be part of a gang of terrorists:

[yakkety-yak-art]

(obligatory disclaimer that I’m trans and hate the grand TERF) quick snape sketch (snetch?) I might paint over later

[the-heartlines]

was anyone else a huge snapemione shipper back in the day? (im talking like 2009-2013)? like i have ms_figg (she passed away sadly!) from adultfanfiction to thank for that <3. she was seriously the most talented smut writer EVER. and her snape (he's so dominant and dirty omfg) makes me feral and *salivate*. i spent years reading and rereading her fics and and she's my biggest inspiration for writing the explicit smut i do ngl. i was reading dead dove before i even knew what dead dove was (best times ngl when the fandom purity police didn't exist akfldsjfka)

[azrakaban]

Heyyy how are youu?

I saw your resquests are open and i wanted to ask:

Enemies to lover with the boys? Mattheo pretty please and reader being a hufflepuff?

Like the whole you meet and both hate each other from the start for years because reader is always in her own world reading caring for magical creatures but she isnt afraid to talk back to them when they're arguing (like calling them players or returning their insults) until one of them as a 'fuck it' moment and kisses the reader and confess their love?

Sorry that was long thank you for taking time to read and thank you if you do write it 🤭💋

I'm great my lovely! Having a good day? Did you drink and eat 2day? :)

actually fr giggled and blushed when making this tbh, have so many Hufflepuff friends so basing this off of them <3 Also totally happy to write for Mattheo hes so bbg !

Careful - Mattheo Riddle

Mattheo Riddle didn't like you. That was clear to anyone who saw you two interact, and honestly, there never seemed to be any kind of reason behind it.

The assumption was just basic house prejudice, but Mattheo was fine with other Hufflepuffs, so why were you so 'special'? You knew he had it in him to be nice, heck, you'd harboured a crush on him since third year, so why now had he decided to be an ass?

Maybe it was that you had a habit of tripping over certain uneven flagstones when reading, or accidentally smashing bottles in potions because you'd spotted a niffler. But you couldn't help being clumsy, right?

Everytime something like that happened, Mattheo would give a sigh and eye roll, which made you upset, naturally. It's not like you wanted to fall over!

As a result you would confront him and he would say the obvious. 'you're so uncoordinated it's almost painful to watch.' Well unfortunately for you, it actually was painful.

So you could imagine the reaction when Snape paired you for potions.

"Careful."

"Shut up, I am being."

A quiet sigh.

"CAREFUL!" He threw out a hand to steady a jar of frogspawn you had nearly knocked over. You glared at him.

"It wasn't my fault, it was in an awkward place..." You said quietly.

Mattheo rolled his eyes, with that same sigh. "I'm sure it was."

You rolled your eyes, mocking him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Mocking me? Real mature n/n." You mocked him again, and he copied you.

"Mr Riddle, Ms L/N, something you'd like to share?" Snape said acidly. You quickly stopped, shaking your heads.

"No sir."

Once he had turned away, Mattheo muttered to you. "Your fault."

You gasped, offended. "It was yours, whore!" You replied indignantly.

Mattheo scoffed, trying to continue work on the potion. You pushed him to the side, and he looked at you in shock for a second, before pushing you out the way.

You did the same, and it turned into a war, before you both pushed at the same time and ended up on the floor.

"L/N, Riddle, Detention." Snape said greasily. "And leave the class."

You both packed your things, flushing, and left.

"Your fault." He murmured, smirking.

"Honestly fuck you." You replied.

"Careful."

"Shut up."

"CAREFUL!"

You turned, glaring. "How about, until told otherwise, I'll be careful?"

Mattheo rolled his eyes. "Good idea."

You two were stuck in detention together, polishing trophies. Mattheo sniggered.

"You should get one for falling over, your face seems to have magnetic attraction to the floor." You bit back an exasperated scream.

"Look, I don't get why you hate me Mattheo, but just stop!"

"y/n-"

"No, no, just shut up! Can you just stop?"

"Y/N-"

"I don't like it when I fall over, it hurts, but you seem to be a sadist on some level-"

"Okay fuck it, I'm just going to shut you up."

Mattheo kissed you then, cupping your face in his hands, pulling back after a few seconds.

"I don't like it when you fall over either, you know, y/n." He said, rolling his eyes. "I can tell it hurts, so it irritates me that you're not more careful! You get hurt, Y/N, I see the bruises, and that hurts me too. Just... look out for yourself? For me?" He pleaded with you.

You froze, trying to process.

"Okay so... you don't hate me?" You said, confused.

"No actually, I kiss all the people I hate to shut them up. Oh look, here comes Potter, I'd better give him a snog. NO, Y/N, I DON'T HATE YOU." He laughed.

You giggled quietly, then smirked. "You like me." You said in a sing song voice.

Mattheo flushed slightly. "Do not." He grumbled.

"Youuuuu like meeee." You sang, giggling.

He kissed you again, effectively shutting you up as you kissed him back.

"You like me too though, y/n, let's not forget that." He smirked.

"You know you can't just kiss me every time you need me to be quiet." He laughed at that.

"Don't worry, I plan on kissing you a lot more than that. Though you do have quite a tendency to yap." He reminded you.

You poked your tongue out, moving back to the trophies to continue your detention, and nearly tripping over another wobbly flagstone.

"CAREFUL!"

Love and thanks for the request, hope this was what you were looking for, remember to eat and drink water <3

[ihatehomework]

yall i miss jily😭😭😭 not like its gone but like the marauders used to be so happy sunshine gryffindor vibes. but also i feel like we collectively all forget how much james potter HATED slytherin. idk i also think that yes death eaters were humans BUT they also killed so many people like are we forgetting that barty crouch jr literally tortured alice and frank longbottom he is at fault for neville growing up without his parents😭 i genuinely think that people forget that evan, barty etc. actually killed people and killed people who were probably friends with the marauders. ik that everyone deserves a second chance but seriously???? do you actually think that the rosiers were good people and didn't hate and discriminate against muggleborns??? NOT EVERYONE HAS A TRAGIC BACKSTORY IDK SOME OF THEM ARE JUST EVIL. the way everyone defends evan rosier (love his character but i have beef with the way he gets away with being a death eater later on) but snape, who i absolutely detest, hate and think should have died earlier, who also actually did something that was not evil in his lifetime, is the most hated marauders character like????? and the black sisters???? yes love a complex female character but are we seriously trying to redeem bellatrix? do we not remember WHAT SHE SCARED ON HERMIONE LIKE WHAT. and love the newer marauders fandom but everyones so emo and depressed this is supposed to be FUN. also the characters feel so ooc. everytime i see casanova remus lupin im like 'huh thats supposed to be sirius and james???' love remus but my boy aint rizzing anyone up hes a shy af introvert. and jegulus is so cute but remember that james is #no.1slytherinhater and he was absolutely smitten with lily evans FROM THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. REMEMBER WHEN JILY WAS THE BACKBONE OF THE MARAUDERS? like they ate fr. this became a whole ass paragraph damn i did not know i had so much to say about this. i can lowkey already sniff the comments or thoughts saying 'oh let us have our fun its just a story' im not stopping you this is just my opinion. 'oh none of this is actually proven' please give me a break😭🙏 like most of the source material goes against the fandoms perception of the marauders. 'fuck jkr we'll do what we want' youve basically just made 10 million ocs and give them names of characters like im eating up all the marauders content but genuinely can we go back to the happier times??

[wastingawayinmyroom]

Controversial Mauraders opinions plsss <333

yall pls don't cancel me

marauders were assholes frfr like they SUCKED but i love them for it

remus saw james (and sirius to an extent) through rose-colored glasses

regulus actually wanted to be a death eater, until he actually became one and realized what they were doing

snape is a bitch (MY bitch)

ngl dorcas' addition to the skittles is kind of weird, like she literally joined the order and died. imagine her and barty's convo in the afterlife when they die, it's like two extremes barely tolerating each other 😭😭😭 (dedicated order vs dedicated death eater)

why is evan always a top he's a fucking wimpy bottom be fr guys barty has him on his KNEES

um. regulus is a bitch. he bitchy. not nice.

we need more genderfluid sirius rep

WTF DO YOU MEAN WE CHANGED SIRIUS 😭😭😭 HES YOUNGER OFC HE LOOKS A BIT DIFFERENT

also sometimes we need problematic female characters, just like we need problematic gays. in moderation ofc, but yall, i'm female. i'm problematic. we can do both.

aaanddd i'm gonna get cancelled!!

[noblehouseofgay]

My updated ship rankings

(These are my opinions, if you don't fuck with them you can just scroll. It's fine. I promise you'll survive)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

1. Jegulus (meant to be. Endgame. Best friends brother. Enemies to lovers. Black cat golden retriever. Quidditch rivals. Jock and nerd. Sun and the star. What's not to love??)

2. Rosekiller (They're psychos but they're each others psychos)

3. Wolfstar (no explanation needed)

4. Dorlene (academic a n d quidditch rivals. Number one Sapphic ship fr)

5. Pandalily (They're just so sweet. I didn't expect to like them sm but here we are. Both girls deserve the best)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

6. Marylily (for awhile it was hard to choose between pandalily and marylily, but pandalily won. Marylily is such a close second to it tho)

7. Bartylus (I think they're exes or friends with benefits. Like they tried to get together but they both knew it's not what they wanted)

8. Moonwater (They're besties. They fake flirt to make sirius and James jealous but they don't actually like each other like that. I think they both wish they did bc it would be easier but it's just not like that)

9. Marypandalily (when in doubt? All 3 together!! This is one of the few poly ships I like)

10. Nobleflower (I don't know much about them but I love narcissa so I'm here for it)

11. Quillkiller (no bc Bella and Rita are chaotic fucking exes I have no doubt in my mind)

12. Prongstail (maybe? It was definitely when they were younger and it was probably unrequited)

13. Pandora and xeno (I'm genuinely neutral on this tbh. As long as panda is happy I'm happy)

14. Darksun (I think this would be another case of trying to make someone jealous- cough cough Evan and reg)

15. Dorlily (I just love dorlene too much)

16. Marylene (same as the last one💔)

17. Pandora and reg (there's definitely nothing like that going on between them but I think 1 people definitely think there is and 2 panda would beard for reg for safety purposes)

18. Prongsfoot (They're brothers. Like. I jus5 think them not being romantic has a deeper connection to it. Not everything has to be romantic yk)

19. Jily (someone's gonna be mad at this. Oops. 1 I hc Lily as lesbian for the most part. 2 I just- I don't get it. Not my thing. I think it's kinda heteronormative and it's just not my thing. I'll stick with jegulus and pandalily tyvm)

20. Pandora and sybil (lowkey interesting. I barely hear about it but like I don't hate the idea. If nothing else they'd be friends]

21. Jegulily (in no universe would regulus be willing to share james like that no way. Hes a possessive little shit)

22. Regulily (he's gay. She's gay.)

23. Anything with snape (do I need to explain??)

24. Literal incest (I don't want to acknowledge it but I think I need to. People apparently ship reg and sirius. And people ship other black family members together. So. Yeah. Pls stay tf away from me??)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

(Ik I missed a lot but there is n o way i can cram every single pairing into this. Plus there's a lot of ships I just don't necessarily care about. This was just ones I have solid ish opinions on)

[sebbianas]

MARAUDERS YOUTUBE CHANNEL!!! i feel like they would do goofy reaction videos and once in a blue moon remus uploads a 2 hour video to the channel going into depth about the history of circular knitting needles are something silly and sirius uploads shit like "grwm while i talk shit" and he talks ab his hatred for snape... fuck ass bob snape.... and oh my god - 🍒

THEIR YOUTUBE CHANNEL WOULD BE SO CHAOTIC FR!!! here are some more ideas i have

they would have dare or dare vids where they just constantly dare each other to do stupid shit (you see reg rolling his eyes at the back and benjy with a first aid kit)

remus would have definitely have a educational vid but with a twist — he’ll do quiz bee kind of vid and the rest of the marauder will be sitting on a drum of water and every wrong answer their sit will get lower and lower until they get dunk into the water lol

i also imagine them doing a without a recipe lile the try guys and remus would always be the worst one (james always winning because effie taught him how to cook thank you very much)

sirius would have vid with regulus because their fans love their dynamic and loves regulus so he does vids like “doing reggie’s make up” or “dressing reggie lile me” and more of those

peter would run their twt, ig, and tiktok and he always goes viral (people are asking him for his own yt vids but he says he doesnt want to)

regulus and benjy being honorary members and people enjoy when they are in the vids

people playing a game of “take a shot everytime james mentions reg” lol

HI ANON CHERRIES!

[enbysiriusblack]

snape u fucking dick !!! get over that school rivarly and grow up fr

[saintsenara]

not the ask’s original sender, but your response re: stonks was so thoughtful and heartwarming, it got me smiling like a fool at some parts! i never considered the ship much, and don’t know if this is controversial but i’m a huge transfem snape enjoyer/truther & your post got me thinking a lot on the potential for queer themes exploration in post-war stonks—for both snape and tonks. i’m always wishing there were more transfem!snape shippy fics and there’s just so much one could do with 1) an snape who survived and, now out of such dire lifelong conditions, finally can have the space for personal self-evaluation of who he is and what he’s accomplished in his personal life, forced to confront his gender identity/expression and sexuality in ways that go beyond what one does behind closed doors, and who can finally set out to investigate and experience who he wants to be after repressing so much of his development for the war effort and self-flagellation; 2) a tonks who’s juggling single parenthood and sexuality and/or gender expression simultaneously in her 20s, and the ways in which they could support e/o even in that department more than any other potential partners. that is to say, you made me realize stonks could go so hard for queer exploration of both characters. (also, snape as teddy’s stepmother vs. godfather harry strikes me as an hilarious follow-up to a stonks rship, from a (platonic) snarry perspective, and there’s a lot of potential here for forgiveness and things coming full circle too, i think. as a snarry girlie i especially love to think about their post-war rekindling esp. platonically and the potential for friendship or even found family there, and teddy being another point of contact would be nice). so... thank you so much for selling me on this ship. i’m fr so into this concept now 👀🕵️‍♀️

ahhh thank you so much, anon! i'm delighted to welcome another person to stonks nation!

and my god yes i am compelled by this whole premise.

i am absolutely obsessed with the insight into snape's relationship with gender we get in canon - especially his association with aspects of gender performance which are often understood as feminine. i love the whole gamut we get to run with this - from snape as a cis man [queer or otherwise] who is figuring out his relationship with his unconventional masculinity, to snape as a trans woman, which is something i am currently writing about.

i am also a queer tonks truther - one of my favourite pieces i've written is about tonks exploring her sexuality and gender identity, and - while the tonks of that piece came to feel that cis and bi were the right terms for her - i like fics which place tonks across the whole, vast spectrum of gender and sexuality. after all, they can literally change bodies on a daily basis - there is so much scope there for the sheer joy of exploring who you are when writing them.

and i think that idea of joy - and of the broader liberation and freedom tonks and snape could experience post-war - is something really valuable. i said in the original stonks manifesto that i like the idea of the two of them initially coming together because of a need to cling to a life-raft in the aftermath of the battle, when they both find themselves adrift and unmoored in a world they didn't expect to live to see, before realising that they have something deeper in common beneath that initial comfort - and i really like that "something deeper" being each of them coming to realise that they finally have the option [and the supportive partner] to sit down and actually think about who they are.

especially because this would allow an author to play with the fact that both snape and tonks would wake up post-battle with the unnerving feeling that the script which was directing their lives is now at an end and that they have no guide on what to do next... i think there's something really revolutionary in saying "fuck it, that chapter's closed" and leaving the snape who was bitten by nagini and the tonks who was attacked by bellatrix - who are understood by harry's narrative perspective as straight and cis [even if that's more ambiguous in canon than harry thinks...] - behind in deathly hallows while the stonks of the post-war world say "yeah, so you guys were mistaken there..."

plus, this would give harry a chance to recognise his own queerness [baby, there's a reason you want to spend so much time talking about how handsome tall, thin, dark-haired men are...], which is always fun. although there's nothing on earth which will stop him and snape beefing constantly over teddy - even if, after a while, this starts to look more good-natured than either is willing to admit.

tonks clocks it though.

[yakkety-yak-art]

trying to kill my art block by painting this loser. in my head this piece is called “the most dangerous man is one who is tenured against his will”. don’t like how this one turned out too much but idrc bcuz it’s just this guy lmao