#fun fact: the brain fully develops at age 25

[phightinghottakes]

Phighting fans on Tiktok are a whole new level of stupid oh my god

[histrionicfit]

piece of advice for those <15 looking into if they have a personality disorder: stop doing it.

now that that got everyone's attention, let me elaborate. if you're experiencing mental health issues, that is 100% valid and i believe you. but personality disorders are very serious, and do not fully manifest until young adulthood. they're also typically only dxed in those 18+, unless a professional deems the symptoms severe enough to give an early diagnosis.

does this mean you definitely don't have a personality disorder? no! it means you should wait before you start jumping to labels which might not apply in a couple years. fun fact: your brain isn't fully developed until 25 years old*. that's why patients are observed in adulthood before given a pd diagnosis.

anecdotal example: my mom had been diagnosed with bpd as a young teenager, but by the time she reached adulthood, the diagnosis didn't fit at all. that's because she was given a diagnosis that was more accurately explained by environmental and developmental factors.

so what should you do then? don't try to hunt down a label for your symptoms. just make a list of them. determine how badly each effects you. think about what experiences could have led to those symptoms. look for coping mechanisms for those symptoms. if you can, seek out a mental health professional. generally, talk to an adult in your life you feel comfortable sharing with.

final disclaimers: i don't think you need to be over 18 to have a personality disorder, im 17 and have a personality disorder (not self dxed). ive also had symptoms for as long as i can remember, but they never got better with age, they've increasingly gotten worse. this could also depend on the type of personality disorder, i largely had cluster b in mind when creating this post as that's the cluster i frequently see tweens and young teens self diagnosing with.

*have been made aware this fact isn't true, but i don't really know how to omit/replace it. basically my point was your brain is extremely mushy as a teenager and your brain's development may be very different once you're an adult

[butmakeitgayblog]

This is meant with so much love but sometimes I read your interactions and you're such a millennial it's endearing! Coming into this fandom felt like joining an old lady's knitting club lmao 😭 (like with the emojis, genz uses the crying emoji as crying with laughter, y'all just use it as sad-crying. You frequently use 🥰 unironically, and it gives me such a whiplash) love you tho xx

Well I don't take this offensively - tho it is condescending, just know that about yourself - because I AM a millennial, but I do honestly feel a bit bad for you lol. I'm 35 years old and the fact that you seemingly think that is "old lady" age is??? I also mean this with love, it's gotta be terrifying living life and thinking that you have maaaybe a decade after you get out of your teens to feel young and have fun and enjoy things. Or that being young is (???) synonymous (???) with speaking like a teenager.

Just in reality here, your brain isn't even fully developed until you're 25, and you don't really begin to emotionally pull your head out of your own ass until about 30. So 30-50? That's when the real fun begins babe like idk how else to explain it you just have to live it. Hobbies are better, the sex is better (by far), the friendships are better, the freedom is so much fuckin better.

So yeah no you're right I don't think as hard on emoji meanings as zoomers do because I'm just having a good time interacting and talking rather than worrying if I'm being the 'right' kind of ironic, idk. I suppose I feel less need to make myself perform for other's approval online, but I did it in my own era, so I get your impulse. Also, I know it's a cyclical thing with pm all 15-25 yo's thinking that 30+ is like some crypt keeper style deadline for being fun or young. It's just a rite of passage, every generation thinks that way about the generation before them, we've all been there. And it is hilarious because when you do get past those ages and into your 30s, you will look back and realize exactly how clueless you were 🥴 that's also a rite of passage, believe me. Your moment will come

Mostly tho I just hope that you appreciate that the only reason this fandom is as good as it is or has lasted so long as it has is because of people my age and older. Most of the classic memes/lore/fics that this fandom is known for come from people 30+, because we have been where you are and lived it and actually made it past that smoke-and-mirrors stage of life that is your 20s. We can write about actual life and love and strife without sounding full of shit or unrealistic because we pour actual life experience and fully shaped senses of humor/character growth/etc into our work which most younger people simply cannot do (not all, I know a few brilliant younger writers and they deserve their spotlight). You too will get there eventually tho babe you will. And when the next generation laughs at you for your ~cringe~ emoji usage or whatever the litmus is for their era, you'll remember this message and then pat them on their sweet naive baby heads too 🥰

[juliapark13]

I understand last anon talking about age but I kinda disagree. Though they’re both pathetic imo I wouldn’t put the same responsability on a 20 yo shipper and a 50 yo one. Our brain finishes to develop fully around 25, it’s a fact that we’re less mature in our 20’s and young people are generally more gullible (yes it’s a generalization). To see fully adult and mature women totally losing their marbles over a ship is astonishing and disgusting, and I say this as a 35 yo. It’s not because they’re women but because they’re grown ass adults that we’re highlighting their age. With age comes more and more responsibility. Shipping can be fun but when it becomes the center of your life there’s a massive problem. I can understand when you’re a bored and angsty teenager, but when you reach a certain age? Nah, it’s weird that af, don’t matter if you’re a man or a woman.

Those women have serious issues though, I don’t want to go on the psychological analysis route but it’s not that hard to see that they’re using the ship as an escape because they’re most likely not satisfied with their real lives. It’s pathetic but I have a hard time feeling sorry for them and I guess they won’t stop anytime soon seeing how deep they fell into their delusion. I don’t even understand how you can go that far tbh.

I completely agree with you. When you are older, it doesn’t mean you are suddenly supposed to be smart, but some common sense is expected.

Most of tkkrs are girls under 25, but there are many who are more than 30,40,50, with kids and I can’t imagine how they behave in real life after what they write and say online. They in fact use this ship because they aren’t satisfied with their real lives.

They won’t stop, because seeing Tae with Jennie made them scared and that’s why they are even more vile right now.

[csvent-2]

To the anon who expressed wanting to make/open an 18+ no-kink-shame CS. I say do it. I'm also personally working on one though mine may end up 25+ due to the allowance of dark themes and my personal cutoff with moderating younger individuals (since they're not by the psychological literature, fully baked yet).

I think a lot of the 18/21+ species that I've seen are lacking in that department and you'd do well to make one that covers that gap! Fuck the kink-shaming and cringe culture is dead impo, so let's go famz.

Fun fact, the “brains finish developing at 25” thing isn’t really fully true and was a misinterpretation of statement. This doesn’t really add on to what you’re saying at all, I just find that interesting.

[spamgyu]

Dear 🔮 anon and Ces babes,

Growing older feels liberating! Like we're getting wiser 😌

Except for the stupid aches and pains and not being able to get over hangovers as quickly.

If someone makes fun of your age, tell them, "yes. And?" Like they will also be that much older some day!

Like the alternative to not growing older is actually dying younger 😔 I'd rather grow old than die young, you know?

Growing older is good 😌

-🐭

LIBERATING???? Please the second my frontal lobe became fully developed I haven't had a moment of peace.

I missed being young, no thoughts, smooth brained. I was selfaware before but now.... ITS A LITTLE TOO MUCH (over analyzed myself and realized i have been in fact, the problem the whole time)

PLEASEEEE DONT GET ME FUCKING STARTED ABOUT THE ACHES AND PAINS.... every time i read jeonghan and cheol complaining about pain im like ... "damn..... i feel that" like after 25 our bodies fr just...... started to fail. LIKE WYM I CANT DRINK A PITCHER OF MARGARITA WITHOUT ANY CONSEQUENCES.... makes me so sick

anyways idc if i die young or old. i just need to die hot.

[petrichoraline]

Northanger abbey!! I adore Cathrine, she's so fun and her intuition is on point, it's just that her imagination is a bit wild but then again she's young so she'd get better at placing her feelings eventually... My favorite thing about henry is his house lol from what I remember nice house surrounded by trees and dogs, away from everyone what's not to love, also he knows about fabrics and colors and novels so... He's funny so I can for give the obnoxiousness and he's responsible which is a trait austen loves in her leading men. I love how austen allows her heroines to be loud and wrong and still give them a happy ending, they have their flaws but they don't have to pay for them, they learn and correct and apologize. Sorry for ranting lol

the timing of this message couldn't be more perfect, i picked up my book and read for about an hour, got on here and i've been scrolling just thinking "gotta get back to it, gotta get back to ittt" 😂 so I'll be doing that once I answer (they're on their way to the abbey with catherine for the first time rn, exciting for both her and me lol)

I am so impressed with how smart she actually is because I was under the impression she might be too gullible. she, however, though a bit too good-natured and thinking the best of people at all times, knows what she likes and what she doesn't. she doesn't get swayed by the compliments of a guy she's decided sucks big time (unlike belle who turns her head in the direction of anyone willing to show her even a bit of attention)(im a bit more of an isabella than a catherine in that regard but we're working on it shh); catherine can be stubborn, she has a backbone, a strong moral compass (reminds me of fanny a bit) and she learns from her mistakes. follows her morals while still worrying about bringing pain upon her loved ones that she has to oppose - the thorpes and james trying to stop her from running and explaining herself to miss tinley after john lied without her permission?? oh I was boiling, the fact she stood her ground till the very end made me so happy and appreciative of her as a heroine and her worrying about their regard towards her afterwards made her that much more likeable, she's just so sweet and considerate even when met with the worst behaviour. sure, she can be too trusting and trying to resolve conflicts in an honest and direct way which is just not how things work in the world she's becoming a part of but she is a girl turning into a young woman. as far as I'm concerned, any mistakes she makes, I forgive.

"my favorite thing about henry is his house" what a valid take lmao i am yet to read a description of the abbey but henry so far is giving me mixed feelings, I checked the ages and they're 17 and 25? so I feel like I'm getting a bit of a condescending attitude from him? but I might be wrong. it would be natural, though, as catherine is a teenager and his brain is supposedly fully developed, that her more childish view of things would call for amused reactions on his side. I don't know, so far really my focus is on "where and how are things going to get messy" because in this book quite a lot of the time nothing is truly really..happening? hahah and I was promised drama from jane austen herself in the first chapters:

"It is now expedient to give some description of Mrs. Allen, that the reader may be able to judge, in what manner her actions will hereafter tend to promote the general distress of the work, and how she will, probably, contribute to reduce poor Catherine to all the desperate wretchedness of which a last volume is capable- whether by her imprudence, vulgarity, or jealousy - whether by intercepting her letters, ruining her character, or turning her out of doors."

I started this book quite a while ago but this has stuck with me and maybe I am misunderstanding and she is actually not going to do these things (I love all the sarcasm but sometimes I have trouble catching it cause, well, non-native english speaker) or I am supposed to be on the lookout the whole time lol but in any case I EXPECT ACTION. PLEASE. it's such a short novel, why are there boring parts 😔

responsible really seems to be the most desirable trait in an austen man but I get it and honestly it's a good thing to consider in dating nowadays as well 🤷‍♀️ as for Henry's other qualities, I forgot he understands fabrics!! thank you for reminding me. that guy has so much sensitivity about him so why must he be such a lil gremlin at times 😂

i agree with you completely <3 austen's heroines are just women being women and i love that though they share some noble qualities they're all easy to distinguish from each other (considering some plotlines are quite similar.) catherine might be, so far, the one most after my own heart out of all the girls.

I may update on how I feel about all of the characters and the story so I'll try to tag in case you're interested in my ranting 😊 would love to hear from you again, it's so exciting receiving a message about this, you have no idea, I usually only discuss shows so my liveblogging of reading the novel actually reaching someone and prompting an ask is such a delight, thank you so much for sending a message and a long one at that 🥰💓

[bqstqnbruin]

so like aside from the fact that a lot of gen z really resonates with liberal ideologies, i think that dem candidates do a way better job at capturing gen z’s attention. like they really utilize social media as an outreach tool and i think that’s such a powerful tool.

also i find it ironic bc that’s the same person who was tweeting that the voting age should be 21…. like let me get this straight….

12 is just old enough to carry and raise a baby, yet if a 12 year old were to come into an adoption agency and asked if they could have one, they would be turned away because not only is she not an adult with a stable income, but she also isn’t married and have all these other qualifications….

18 is old enough to enlist and go off to war, or buy g*ns

and now they’re trying to say that because the brain doesn’t fully develop until 25, that we should raise the voting age? okay perfect! then we should put an age cap on voting at 65 :)

Fun Fact 68% of Gen Z turned out to vote in this election which is the highest of any generation so fuck yeah we did it joe

I saw a tiktok from underthedesknews saything that there is a movement to lower the voting age to 16 which like, they can drive, they can pay taxes because they can have a job, but not vote? Which like, they have a point

[hedgethemaze]

4, 8, 23, 25

4. Favorite animal? I could easily just put him as the answer, I mean

Appa is the best, I don't think I even need to explain this. But the question doesn't especify from which show so...

Naga not only is my favorite animal exclusive to LOK, she's also the mix of two of my favorite real life animals.

8. Favorite battle? Tough choice!

Both series excel in the fighting department, so in order to not hurt my brain thinking too much (at least for ATLA) I'm gonna go with the fight I think is one of the most fun to watch and that has to be Toph vs all 7 Earth Rumble VI fighters from her debut episode "The Blind Bandit".

I've never been into WWE, except when done in animation and by shows I like, and what a spectacle it is to see Toph face The Boulder & Co. and handing their a$$es to them while sending them flying out of the arena in a flawless victory. It's a real blast!

Favorite battle in LOK: I would say is Korra vs. Kuvira in the series’ finale. Not only is her rematch against the great uniter but this fight represents Korra's true comeback. She may not be the Avatar she was before her battle with Zaheer, but she's overcome the worst of it and now she's stronger than ever.

Aftar everything she's gone through, there's something amazing about the display of her fighting and bending habilities during this fight. She's come a long way and it shows! And while the battle gets interrupted because of the giant mecha exploding, I belive that had they continued the fight outside the metal box, Korra would've had a bigger advantage - and that’s not mentioning the Avatar State, which she only used to protect Kuvira from an energy beam equal to a nuclear explotion that would've easily obliterated her had it not been for Korra's power and skill.

23. Favorite Korra moment? O.O Boy, and I thought 29 was hard to answer. C’mon, I LOVE Korra and watching her do anything, really. Any moment she’s on screen, or page (as long as she’s not suffering in any way, kind or form), is my favorite Korra moment <3

That said, for the sake of the question, I’m gonna have to choose...

Her reunion with Asami in, well, “Reunion” lol

I think we’re all well aware what this moment meant to Asami, who was already in love with Korra at the time (I will die on that hill). But to the Avatar, while not given the proper time to fully let it sink in, I like to think this is the moment where she no longer doubts her romantic feelings for Asami are no illusion or mistake and that she's, in fact, crushing on her best friend 😊 

Not to mention, that look she gives Asami after the hug is such a soft and happy expression, it literally melts my heart! Every. Single. Time.

25. Asami or Korra? In what regard?

As in the better fighter, the prittiest, the smartest, the richest- wait, sorry, there’s no contest in that one lol Just kidding! 😆

I’m gonna go with Asami here. And simply because the entire series revolves around Korra (titular character, duh!) and I couldn’t ask for more of her - actually, I could but that’s not the point. Besides, I know there will be more Korra content eventualy...

I’m not saying I want Asami to be the protagonist of her own series, I like her right where she is, thank you. Even so, she’s the least explored (I even dare say “developed”) member of Team Avatar - the brothers even got their own mini web series, Republic City Hustle, depicting them 3 years prior to the main series - and to this day I’m left wanting to know more about Asami.

There’s bits and pieces told to us about her backstory. Mainly that she lost her mother at a young age and she’s well trained in self defence, but nothing’s ever shown and that’s only concerning her past. But what about her present in the series? Asami, as an individual, is rarely touched upon to the point some people think there’s nothing of substance or importance about her, besides that her money and vehicles get the protagonists to every place they need to be, reducing her to the LOK version of Appa (we all know the memes). They easily forget a lot happens to Asami, and I can’t blame them because the series never takes the time to explain to us how she manages to cope with any of it. It all happens behind the scenes. And I hate to say it but the more I think about it, I find that offencive to her character.

Thanks for asking, gray face. Sorry it took so long to asnwer...hope you enjoys the reading.

Anyone that would like to can ask more from here :) 

[kallypsowrites]

Young Adult Tropes: The Immortal and the Teenager

Soooo, I was motivated to post this meta today, cause I keep seeing this argument pop up throughout the Shadow and Bones fandom which is decrying Alina and the Darkling because of the age gap. Cause, ya know, she’s seventeen to eighteen (and who knows what they’ve made her in the show) and he’s hundreds of years old.

I assume that these people haven’t read that many YA fantasy novels, because this particular trope is so common that you can’t throw a stone in the Barnes and Noble YA fantasy section without hitting one. And it is popular for a very simple reason: Teens want to imagine themselves with the hot, immortal, fantasy creature.

Vampires, angels, demons, Fae, magicians, witches, aliens, ghosts, straight up gods--there are a lot of love interests in YA fiction that have been around for 100 + years. And now they’re taking interest in the teenage protagonist (Usually 17 or 18). Why is the protagonist a teenager? Cause that’s the target audience. Now, usually, the love interest still LOOKS young. They died or were turned or present themselves as close to the age of the protagonist. But obviously that doesn’t change the fact that they’re not.

So is this problematic? Is this giving a BAD lesson to teenagers? Is it pedophilia?

Short answer? No. Long answer: No! It’s not giving a bad lesson because guess what? Not a single teenager is gonna get asked out by an immortal entity. They are NEVER going to be faced with this dilemma of meeting a hot guy who looks there age but is actually centuries (or sometimes millenia) old. I certainly never got asked to prom by a vampire or a demon. It’s a problem that simply does not exist.

It’s wish fulfillment in the paranormal romance genre. Teenagers want to imagine joining a magic society of some sort. Getting into a romance with some otherworldly guy. And yeah, occasionally the protagonist will end up with the human love interest closer to their age, but for every one of those there's one when she like...becomes a vampire queen or ascends to godhood or whatever.

To spotlight a teenager x immortal ship I don’t personally like--I don’t vibe with Edward and Bella. But while I make fun of the ridiculous concept of a vampire wanting to go to high school again, it’s not the age gap that matters to me at the end of the day. That’s standard fair for YA paranormal romance. It’s that I don’t like a lot of his behavior toward her. And that’s fine. I don’t have to jump to the age gap to defend my positions.

My point is there are a LOT of reasons to criticize Darklina as toxic. Age gap aside, he wants to use her for her power in book one. He hurts and kills a bunch of her friends.These are very good reasons to not like Darklina and I’m not gonna fight anyone who doesn’t like them (so long as they aren’t clowning in the tags). People who don’t like hero x villain ships aren’t going to like them and that’s chill.

But lets not bring the moralizing ‘the age gap is toxic’ stuff into the game because, again: This is just a trope of YA. And don’t worry. We’re never going to meet anyone like the Darkling in real life. The cool shadow wizard isn’t going to come to my house. Very tragic, but it’s true.

Also, even worse, people who talk about the fourteen year age gap between the actors?? Jessie is 25. A full grown adult by several years with her brain fully finished developing. She’s my age. Ben being fourteen years older is just not the problem you think it is, especially when they are ACTORS doing a JOB. Hell, the age difference between the actors who played Geralt and Yennefer in the Witcher was only one year less and she was younger at the time she played it. Didn’t see people complaining about THAT being toxic. And it wasn’t. Cause they are adults and professionals.

You can dislike a ship without having to get all high and mighty about it. It is possible. And when I see you picking at this particular thing, I just think you haven’t read a lot in the YA genre.

[bunybunn]

This will a little bit controversial take but I feel like we should talk about it.

I think that the age argument sucks because it actually very often waters down the characters and situations. I mean going 'they were children' to prove that something was bad instead of actually talking about what was going on specially when you don't need to use the age card at all to show why something was messed up.

Let's take c!Tubbo story as an example. The reason why it's tragic has nothing to do with his age if you think about it. I mean let's imagine that his character was canonical twenty, he is a young man that got tangled in the L'manburg revolution because of his best friend even though he himself isn't really into fighting then when his best friend gets exile with the ex leader of the country they fought for he's stuck with a drunk tyrant and soon after he have to become a spy. He is under a lot of pressure from both sides, he tried his best but it wasn't enough. The tyrant found out about him being a spy and sentenced him to death, he also appointed one of his allies as executioner. The whole thing leaves him traumatised but he has to push on. Then there is the 16th where not only he is put in position of power that he didn't even really wanted but he also has to deal ex president blowing up now his country and a furious anarchist that feels lied to. His presidency is basically mix of being under a lot of pressure and having his authority undermined and all attempts he made to keep the country safe ended up leading to destruction of his nation. It's tragic story and I haven't even mentioned anything about disc war. All of that also without mentioning that he was a minor at the time. It didn't took away the fact that his story is tragic because tragedies he face aren't really connected to his age. The things that happened to him weren't bad because he was a child those things were bad because situations like that are always terrible no matter the age. Adding 'and he was a child' makes it seems as if that was the main issue.

Same thing goes for exile arc. It wasn't bad because c!Dream abused a child, it was bad because there was an abuse. Also the worst part of the exile never was the blowing c!Tommy stuff up or c!Dream giving him orders, it was the separation from his friends and the loneliness he has to experience (special as a person who is extraverted and needs to be around other people) while having c!Dream gaslighting him and making him believe that no one else cares. It had nothing to do with c!Dream being an adult the power dynamic they had was because c!Tubbo made c!Dream c!Tommy supervisor when he told him to take c!Tommy away. Of course c!Tubbo definitely didn't plan for it to go the way it did but still his order was the reason for that dynamic and also the fact that c!Dream's threat of kill c!Tommy was much more really now that he became his supervisor.

Another thing is the 'their brain hasn't developed fully" because fun fact the brain development ends when the person is around 25 years old. Now I want you to think about the ages of most of the members, basically all of them are under the age 25 during the most often discussed lore events, the only ones that were above or exactly that age and were lore relevant in some way are Phil BadBoyHalo and Sam. Working under assumption that if the cc didn't say otherwise the age of their characters is the same as theirs it feels kind of weird that we don't see people using that argument when it comes to them. No one says that about c!Jack Manifold or c!Niki even though they're not that much older then the bench trio.

Basically it feels like the 'they are kids' argument is there how terribly bad the situation or character is without looking at it closer or discussing it. It also sometimes sounds like by putting emphasis on being a child during the abuse when discussing abuse makes it seems like the fandom doesn't realize how abuse still impacts adults. I believe that before using the age argument you should really think is the age actually matters that much or do you actually adding this just to have the 'and it was so terrible because they were children' that doesn't really add anything to discussion but allows you to guilt trip those who points out additional things about other characters that also affected the situation (example c!Techno and c!Philza points of view).

[ladyhindsight]

Answer to this: I completely agree we shouldn't treat people based on how they LOOK. I definitely won't treat my my sister like a child because she looks like a 12 y/o girl when in reality she's 18. But Magnus' case is different and what I meant when I said "Magnus stopped aging at 18_20," is that as we know, he stopped aging physically AND mentally. His brain stopped aging like other parts of his body. Now look at this:

The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until age 25 or so. In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain's rational part. ... Teens process information with the amygdala.

Source: here

So what I'm saying is that, Magnus stopped aging around 20, mentally and physically, and we now know that the brain won't develop completely till age 25 or so. And that's one of the reasons why teenagers act kinda impulsive at times. Other warlocks we know, had all stopped aging at ages above 25 (Ragnor, Catarina, Malcolm, and even Tessa, who seems to have stopped aging around 24_25), so it makes sense why they all seem more matured and why Magnus is the most reckless of them all (other than his obvious personality traits of course), because he stopped aging so young, and he basically have the brain of a 18_20 y/o boy, just with a lot more experience. And I think that much experience is the reason behind his matured behavior (that we see most of the time) cause you can clearly see how his behavior becomes less reckless and more matured as time passes and he gains more experience during TBC. But still sometimes, as we have seen (specially when he's emotional) he goes back to acting like a 20 y/o boy and can't really put aside his emotions in order to decide correctly.

I know this whole immortal business is kinda confusing but if you pay attention it really helps to understand warlocks and other immortals better.

I think it's actually interesting to consider the developmental facts when it comes to warlocks. It'd be fun if there was come canon info about the mental development, some of which you can see in Magnus' behaviour if we consider this point of view. But it makes sense that once you stop developing physically, you stop developing physiologically as well. Which means Magnus' liver is probably just fully developed. Good for all the drinking, though does it matter because his brain won't develop further so alcohol shouldn't be able to affect the development of the brain.

Would be cool if Clare ever decided to explain this, how her warlock aging works exactly.

I don't remember there being warlocks that look really young or even like children. It'd be fun to see how they'd be written, considering that their development halts really early on.

[merskrat]

Y’all need to calm down. I didn’t even start my education until I was 26. I didn’t finish until I was 28. I spent the years of my life that I was in my physical peak (meaning health) having insane adventures with my friends across the country. You think your life is over when you’re 25, when in reality, that’s when your brain is fully developed and is the perfect time to settle down and decide what you want to do. You guys are too scared to live. Take a fucking chance once in a while, but especially when you’re young. I’m almost 30 now and I managed to get by without committing to any particular path at 18 or even 25. And I don’t feel like that time was wasted. I have regrets like everyone else but probably less than someone who got into debt at the age of 18 after feeling forced to choose a life path a year earlier. I understand it’s the dream some of us were sold, but for the next generation—don’t do that. For years the toughest choice I had to make was which states, cities, and towns I should visit/settle for the winter months, or whether to go east or west that day. I can’t promise you’ll be fine just meandering in whatever ways appeal to you for however long, I’m just telling you that I am. If you are still one of those people who believes your life is over at 25, why are you not spending your adult years up to that point having fun, exploring, experiencing new things, and LIVING?

This is a picture of me on a freight train and I think I was about 22 or 23. Super beautiful ride where I passed miles and miles of blossoming fruit trees and beehives. The train sided here and we got off and skipped rocks for a few minutes. I’m not saying that everyone needs to be a straight up vagabond like I was, but you can do anything. Anything you want! Work a seasonal job, save money, go to Thailand! Live cheap and travel! Work part time, live in some shitty apartment and write your novel, or join a band! Go to Europe and stay in hostels! Drive around and visit state and national parks with your dog! You can be a traveler, you can be a starving artist. In fact, that is the best age to do it, both to manage your own time, and because people look at you and see pure potential. No one is gonna be like “when are you gonna get yourself a husband” when you’re twenty. Have fun and stop wasting your time!

I snapped a few pics from my photo album just now to add. I never had a phone so all of my pics were taken on disposable cameras.

The black dog at the top is my dog JJ. I bought him for $20 from some crack heads in Florida when he was 8 weeks and I was 18. He’s turning 11 this year! I think he is happy that we have settled cause he’s a lazy boi. All of these pictures were taken before I turned 20. I was 19 and had already been all over the country, all the way west and all the way down to the keys. That “hobo family photo” drawing with the stick frame? People saw it, my friends saw it, and they knew I had been there. We left our tags, sometimes with the date or direction that we were going, so we could keep track of each other in a way. Sometimes we left cans of food, or a few beers. We had no phones, but we had notebooks, instruments, sometimes a CD player or cheap MP3 player. We carried little hammocks and tiny stoves sometimes. We had our sleeping bags and dog food and each other. I was constantly running into my friends without even planning on it, or making new friends with whatever kids I ran into if I vibed with them. I have known the guys in the Hawaiian shirts literally forever, happened to run into them in key west while they were trying to dress “in disguise” to blend in lol. We camped out on a beach in the middle keys for New Years, drinking and making tacos, swimming, waking up to seeing sharks and dolphins and stingrays swim by us. It was magical. Dude with the tequila bought his own home recently, and him and his gf rebuilt it, did the plumbing and electricity, and painted every single room to their own tastes. We might all look like bums in these pictures, but we are all in our late 20s-early 30s now and are literally fucking fine. I never felt like I was “behind” my friends. Most of them are not even doing as well as I am now, and the amount of life experience and people skills I made in even one year of my life living like this was worth more than five of them working a minimum wage job, or dropping out of college, or whatever. It was certainly hard sometimes, but it gave me confidence in myself and the ability to adapt to any situation.

Now go out and fucking live, kids!

[ultranos]

Give me a character and I will answer: Azula

I am absolutely unsurprised, given my recent hyperfixation.

This got...long, so stuff under the cut.

Why I like them

Because beyond my fondness for feral genius girl-children characters and characters associated with lightning, and how I’m drawn to characters who are morally grey (to me, Azula is, in DnD terms, Lawful Neutral, which is fascinating and probably also why a lot of people have a hard time with her), I’ve realized that there are a lot of similarities between myself and Azula. I’ve joked that Azula is just another millennial with gifted-child syndrome and hypercompetative parent, and just like the rest of us, she ended up with a mental breakdown before her 25th birthday. But there’s a bit more to it than that.

Because I know exactly what it feels like to be seen only for your abilities and how they can be used to make the adults who are supposed to give a shit about you look good. I know exactly what it feels like to craft your identity around your abilities, because those are the things that you’ve been told determine your worth. I know exactly what it feels like to have people you grew up with and you thought were friends stab you in the back. And I know exactly what it means to decide to be an asshole in order to protect yourself, because when you let down your walls, someone you called a friend stabbed right in that carefully hidden weak point and sent you spiraling in a panic attack and self-destructive behaviors.

Because I was 14 when I escaped that. And I didn’t realize what had actually happened to me until I was 22 and a therapist was looking at me with absolute horror as I recounted my K-8 years.

I like Azula because I very clearly see a person I could have been, if my parents hadn’t given a shit. If my mother wasn’t determined to take all the things that had hurt her as a child and do the opposite for my brother and I. If my father wasn’t hellbent on giving us all the support he could, because he’d lost his mother as a child and was forced to grow up faster.

Why I don’t

Because it’s sometimes really difficult to see a character who is so close to a “there but for the grace of god go I”. Which is a slightly distressing phrase to use considering its association with the Bridge of Sighs.

Look, my brain is a fuckin’ weird place.

I guess there’s that “direct IV to the propaganda juice leading to jingoism and imperialism” thing. But kinda mitigated by the fact she’s sheltered and her brain literally hasn’t fully-developed the areas for decision-making yet. (Fun fact: that part’s done around age 25. Kid is 14.)

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

I actually really like her entire Ba Sing Se takeover arc. I can very much appreciate a girl who uses the fact that she is a teenage girl to make people underestimate her, and then perform a feat of tactical importance that not even the best general could do...with zero casualties and only using her words.

Favorite season/movie

I mean, I guess overall it’s s3, since it digs into her character more.

Favorite line

Tie between “Do the tides command this ship?” and “You weren’t even a player.”

Spending a few years as a woman in male-dominated fields gives you a new appreciation for the sheer style points and lack-of-fucks to deliver those lines.

Favorite outfit

I actually like her s2 “default”.

OTP

I’m...not really much of a shipper. I read her as queer, so there’s that. But I’m meh on Ty Lee/Azula overall and that seems to be the biggest one.

In an AU, I will totally admit her with one of the Gaang has potential for comedic gold. And Katara and her could take over the world in a week, and the world would thank them. (Katara would make them give it back immediately)

Brotp

...I honestly would have loved to see Azula and Sokka as ridiculous nerd bros.

Head Canon

I headcanon that she’s not that great at art, with the one exception of sumi-e style ink watercolors. Because it’s an artform that requires absolute precision and perfection, and so would let her channel those tendencies in a much healthier way.

The other one is that she doesn’t hate tea, but she dislikes the ones Iroh makes her. He goes for the jasmine and ginsing, much more floral and delicate. Azula prefers the stronger flavors, such as lapsang souchong (tastes like campfire)  or other Wuyi tea (I expect her to be the kind of Extra that really likes rougui tea, with it’s 7 goddamn steepings).

Unpopular opinion

I generally am a little lax on the entire “war crimes” thing people bring up. Partially because all the characters are guilty of war crimes, because it’s a plot about a war. And if you’re going to apply modern definitions from the Geneva Convention to it, then you better also apply the rules laid out in the Additional Protocols and the Rights of the Child that it’s a war crime for children under the age of 15 to be used in armed conflict in the first place. And that it’s an entire...Thing that female child soldiers are treated worse and have a harder time with rehabilitation and reintegration. It’s also very much a Thing that orgs dedicated to former child-solder welfare are adamant that retributive justice is just about the worst possible track to take.

Also, I have a very hard time taking the “it was her idea to burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground” seriously, because a) why is the 14 year old child dictating military policy instead of any of the adults at the table, and b) when I was that age, I literally uttered “the beatings will continue until morale improves” during a group project.

(Also I envy you if you have never wished to light something on fire while sitting in a meeting as the only woman/girl in a room full of men all old enough to be your father.)

A wish

Someone give this child a hug and therapy. Possibly in the reverse order. Just...let her find a way to be happy without anyone forcing her into a mold.

My galaxy-brain level post-redemption and post-therapy ending? Azula decides she needs to know what the fuck happened with her brain, throws all her stubborn cleverness into that, and the next thing Zuko knows, his sister has the equivalent of a doctorate and actual medical license for psychiatry.

She then demands to treat his goddamn PTSD.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Making her a puppet/tool for yet more older men, for fuck’s sake. Yes, I’m aware of some things in the comics. I haven’t read them. It’s damaging. (Yes, thank you for informing me that the Asian-coded female character who forced herself into using her talents for her father’s desires to the point of self-destruction has no future but to always be vilified and used as a prop by her male relatives. I’m sure this has no implications for the real world.)

5 words to best describe them

...”feral genius asshole girl-child” is probably pretty good.

My nickname for them

Feral gremlin murderchild (Ironic, considering her kill-count is 0* in the series) or feral genius storm-child. *Aang got better. I’m of the opinion it kind of needs to stick to count.

[androgynousblackbox]

I don’t trust people who are like “you should become a legal adult on your 20s!” because “your brain doesn’t fully develop until you are 25″, since they seem to believe that people who are Not Fully Adult yet are just... what, hanging around, playing videogames everyday and being served cookies just made by mommy? What about the people who are literally dying to finally be Actual Adults so they can get out of a shitty ass situation? Do you really want to tell them “well, hey, you can’t do that now because your brain and my not full understanding of how brains work, see, you need to stay there for a few years more, it will be fine”? This is not even mentioning all the kind of situations in which your only saving grace will be being an adult, therefore gaining all the rights and privileges that comes with it as opposed as a youngster who has to be taken care of by someone else, legally. Being an adult is not about brain development. In fact, literally any adult and young person who had to work since young will tell you that has nothing to with it.It’s about the law finally seeing and going “yeah, okay, you can do this stuff you want to do as long it doesn’t break any other laws, alright? have fun”, and for sure there are situations in which the law is an ass even to adults, because the world is shit like that, but at least there is that promise that you can control your own life when reaching that age. It feels dismissive of people to take that away or prolonged it completely unnecesarily without considering what the actual consequences of that would be.

[insidious-apple]

LONG POST ABOUT SHIPPING IN FANDOMS

Last night, my gf and I were discussing shipping in fandoms (specifically mcyts) and it got me thinking so I’d like to present my fully awake thoughts on the matter.

okay so!

Shipping isn’t new. shipping has been around since fandoms have been around and fandoms have been around a long time. but with how expansive and connective the internet is, fandoms have become way more of a thing and so has shipping and ship art and parasocial relationships and all that jazz. parasocial relationships are actually completely normal because as humans, we seek to form social connections with people, so when we hear or see them (i.e. on TV or on youtube), we seek to establish a friendship bond with them. This is why celebrity crushes are a thing. The problem with that is that these celebrities are people too and they can be completely overwhelmed by all the attention, especially if it’s sexual in nature. None of this is new information.

Then there’s a completely different thing, which is shipping. When fans ship a celeb or cc with one of their closest friends, that can make stuff a bit weird. Like, imagine if all the randos at your school thought (and told you) that you and your best friend would make a really good couple. Or even if they said that you and an acquaintance of yours would be really good friends. Kinda creepy, right? Because it’s none of their business who you date or who you’re friends with. Same concept, only it’s hundreds of thousands, or maybe even millions, of people telling two celebrities or content creators that they would be really good friends or make a really good couple. It’s creepy and it’s none of the fans’ business.

On one hand, fandoms should stop shipping altogether. It’s creepy and rude and it’s especially tolling for these celebs that can’t get out of the limelight, whether that be physically, mentally, or online. It’s got to be extremely difficult to just let all that stuff wash over them all day every day. This includes fanart and fanfiction (both sfw and nsfw), comments on videos, blogs, everything. Also, it’s kind of dehumanizing. When a person is famous, they get all these pictures painted of them, but the unknown gaps are always filled in, whether they want them to be or not. This turns the person into more of a brand or character that can be whatever the fans want them to be and that can pressure the person into trying to be more like that character instead of being more like themselves. Stuff like this can also violate boundaries as some people are just straight up not okay with seeing fanart or fics of themselves, to name a couple of things. And these celebs are people and their boundaries should be respected. If you draw a weird drawing of your friend that you know they wouldn’t be okay with, you wouldn’t post it on the internet for everyone to see because it would hurt their feelings. Same goes here, just on a much larger scale. This ESPECIALLY goes if the celebs or content creators are young and still mentally developing. And I don’t just mean young like under 18. I mean young like college age, like 25 and younger. These people are still developing in the world and the fact that they have to encounter all this stuff about them on a daily basis is just not good for their mental health and we should respect that. Like even if they said they’re completely fine with it, it still gives me weird vibes when I remember that the art or fic or whatever is about real people who are trying to live their lives without everyone knowing every little tiny detail about them, yet they still know that people are trying to find every detail about them. This sucks because fans aren’t entitled to every little detail. That’s just a fact, and always will be. And fandoms are kind of riddled with this. It almost looks like people trying to talk behind someone’s back, which always weird for they person they’re talking about, whether they’re talking shit or talking good.

On the other hand (especially with the dream smp), fanart and fics are so fucking cool! Being inspired and making art out of your inspiration will never not be one of the coolest things the human brain can do. And holy FUCK there are so many talented individuals out there who can do so much with so little information, it’s insane. And fandoms are the perfect place for these people because they have stuff to go off of, but they also have the freedom to express themselves. Especially when celebs say that they’re okay with stuff, it opens up a whole new world of expression and I think that’s super fucking cool.

Another note: the internet has free speech, which i think is pretty damn cool. However, this does not include freedom from consequences. If you say some dumb shit or some fucked up shit on the internet, I guarantee you there will be consequences. These can come in the form of your post getting taken down for violating community guidelines or someone calling you out in the comments. And I think that’s a good thing. Reporting and blocking are some of the best functions on the internet and i think that people should use them more often, especially in relation to aforementioned things that violate people’s boundaries. Often, people will just comment and share it saying “yo wtf this is gross” but that just draws more attention to the fucked up thing in question.

I didn’t really have a place I was going with this, but basically: - Don’t violate celebs/content creators’ boundaries. - Don’t dehumanize people just because you don’t know every little thing about them. - DON’T MAKE NSFW ART/FICS ABOUT MINORS. - Don’t push stuff on celebs/content creators. They’re people too. - Differentiate between characters and the people behind them in your works. The difference is VERY important. - If you do any of the above things, don’t be surprised if you get called out about it. - Most importantly, have fun! Don’t be afraid to put fanart or fanfic out there if the celeb/content creator is okay with it. The internet and fandoms are supposed to be fun for everybody, including the fans and the thing/people they are a fan of.

Okay that’s all I have to say about that for now. *steps off soapbox*