#funny pizza

[pinkiemachine]

Feeling in the mood for some Bat Fam? 🥰

Part 2 👇

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[catchymemes]

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’ve been fired exactly once in my life. In my early twenties I was working at a pizza place. The pizzas were artisanal, thin crust and personal. They’re a huge chain now but when I first started the company was in its infancy. It was the wild west of management, and the core investors would frequently stop by to check on things. One of these people was this round little man with rage issues. A knock off Danny Devito with no charisma at all.

His favorite thing to do was to come in on a Friday or Saturday night. We'd be at our stations: taking orders, making pizza, manning the oven, finishing orders off, running the cash register. He'd shove his way onto the line and start rearranging people. "You, get off orders and work the cash register, you come over and make the pizzas!" With a line of customers snaking out the door he'd throw off all our grooves and rattle us.

Then, inevitably, a mistake would happen.

When it did he'd call the person over and say, "Hey c'mere. You're fired." Just like that. No inflection, just a flat "You're fired." It was absolutely a power kink, and because of his involvement the average turn over was three months. You were a veteran at five months.

One night there was only three of us manning the front. I took an order than went to the cash register to ring them out before I made the pizza. This horrible man watched that then called me into the back. I didn't know if I was about to be fired. But I wasn't. In fact, he had one other move besides firing people. He yelled.

In the back he absolutely lost his mind screaming at me for being on the cash register. I'm talking veins popping, spit flying, red with rage, this man just started bellowing nonsensically about where I should be and how I was just such a failure. It was truly like his brain had shut off, nothing he was saying even made sense. I stood there in the face of this tirade for a minute and then set a record for being the first person to ever cut him short by bursting into tears.

He instantly stopped yelling and it was like Jekyll and Hyde. He was remorseful and consoling, deeply embarrassed by my display of emotion. All my male coworkers just took the abuse but faced with my weeping he about faced and instantly backed off. I went outside to cry and when I came back in he pretended it had never happened.

That was the state of things. The investors knew they desperately needed to keep this man out of the stores, but they couldn't just give him the boot. They needed to move him aside and fill his position with someone. The store manager was this lovely woman who had hired me on the spot at my interview. The entire staff adored her. She was the best fit to get this roided out investor out of the stores for good.

Her replacement was this man called Anthony. He was instantly loathed by the entire staff. Condescending, critical, and lazy he started off his reign by letting go a core lead who "back talked." He spent a whole morning berating the opening crew because the closing crew (who had sold 100 more pizzas than we were even supposed to have on hand) had forgotten to windex the doors. He left the entire crew to close without him while he flirted with a girl who wasn't his pregnant girlfriend. He hired his roommate to replace the lead he fired and even that guy hated his guts.

Our antipathy toward him made him paranoid and resentful and one by one he started finding excuses to fire the whole staff, certain that if he could clean house he'd be able to do the job. My time came, and he sat me down with his boss, my former manager. She cried as he announced I wasn't personable enough and used too many pepperonis.

I looked at her, the woman who had trained me on how many pepperoni to use, but she said nothing. What could she say? He was the boss now and had determined I was going to be let go regardless. Too many in this case was seven. Seven pepperonis on a personal pizza. The correct number was five according to him, which is one pepperoni per slice, and one in the middle.

I sat there for a moment, taking it in. I smiled at my old manager, obviously miserable. I looked back at him and said, "You're a terrible manager, you're doing the worst imaginable job." I outlined some of the things he'd done so she could hear them, then I stood up and left. I made it to the back room before I started crying.

I found out later through a bus boy that he replaced the whole staff with college kids who had such limited availability that the store couldn't run, then quit three months later leaving the whole place in shambles. Most of the old staff returned, but I'd moved onto the sex shop already and was enjoying a job with significantly less risk of being fired on a whim.

However I do have to disclose on job applications if I've ever been fired. I always says yes and list the reason as, "Excessive use of pepperoni." It has never failed to get a laugh from my interviewer.

[walmaker-artist]

For anybody struggling out there.

[chrishallbeck]

Pineapple

[unamusedyams]

In 2018, I had weird dream that Yugi's dad was a weird little man and highly skilled pizza maker.

And in 2021, I redrew some of those ideas again.

(old doodles below cut)

The cherry on top is, there actually IS a pizzeria place run by a guy named "Mr. Moto" at least

[teetrendii]

(via Every meal would be better if it were pizza. Long T-Shirt by TEE TRENDII)

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[baalzebufo]

posted earlier about how fake peppino doesnt like its reflection because it reminds him that its not the ‘real’ peppino and kind of shatters the illusion. but also i wanted something a lil sappy because, despite being freaked out by his clone, peppino is a good egg. so, This

[unexpectedbrickattack]

"A Dad helping his kids beat a hard level in super mario land; 1990s"

Ref under the cut!

[pinkiemachine]

Call this one an in-between-quell, because I honestly did not know Damian was a vegetarian until I made my last post. Anyhoo, have fun with this one lol!

Part 1 👇

[dianagj-art]

BETRAYAL!

In my head this is how the two managged to land on 3rd place lmao (One is surprised but not dissapointed)

There's so many branches to this poll now that I didn't know where to add this on so this gets its own post, pls make yourself a favor and check all the reblogs of that poll, there's so much good art and very funny tags from everyone

Bonus with the bestie:

LM leo @daedelweiss

RR leo @red-rover-au

[catchymemes]

Whoever designed this menu, you need a raise!

[ender-draws-things776]

I only found sprite animated/edited ones…

So I made an actual animatic…

⚠️ LOUD!!!

[carrotkicks]

some Post-Scoop Mike + fill-in-the-blanks headcanons

more brainworms below the cut <3

OKOK about those Custom Night headcanons: Michael gets fired from Freddy's (1987 & 1992) because of "tampering with the animatronics" which only happens after the custom nights -> changing the animatronics AI settings is the aforementioned "tampering."

"Putting someone back together" assumedly means that the souls possessing each animatronic are in control of the robots without their endo's AI programming getting in the way. In Sister Location Michael put Elizabeth back together by removing Baby's AI chip, allowing her to "be free."

But in terms of Michael's current experience, he doesn't really know how remnant work yet (he doesn't know that to remove possession he needs to do things -- Happiest Day-- in the Flipside AND burn the metal) All he's got so far as to "The endo-programming has some kind of control over possession"

Which is why he tries changing the settings/internal components of the Animatronics of FNaF 1&2 instead of just going straight to arson like he does in FnaF 3

Then again Mike is like.. a cranky 50-something year old by then. he ain't having it with the clean and neat way.

If you guys have seen the Gibi's Good Idea Bad Idea mega lore video, the entire dual-narrative concept where Cassidy operates in the Flipside/atari minigame spirit realm while Mike works the Nights and fixes things in the physical realm. Literally makes me vibrate because YEAH that literally makes so much sense!!!! Golden Freddy and Mike working in parallel has always made sense. FNaF 1 being when they team up. Yeah.. yes. I just feel so insane about that concept, it's become a fundamental part of my understanding of this series.

Also I like his video because he ACTUALLY acknowledges the Flipside as a big part of the world in his version of the lore because the only thing i know of that actually does that is DSAF. f-ing dsaf...