#god help me i’m gay

[tinyturtlefish]

Happy International Women’s Day

— ★

[caroldanversenthusiast]

if i speak….

[codgod-moved]

^3^

(there’s a bonus drawing under the cut that i don’t like enough to put in its own post but i still think it’s cute lol)

fambily :]

[leftythehelpingtankengine]

The Princess, the Pea, and the Beast

Chapter 1: Grief

Word Count - 1.1k

Also available on AO3 & WattPad

Summary: In an attempt to provide aid to a runaway princess, Luigi gets himself mixed up in an arranged marriage to a prince of a neighboring kingdom, what he doesn’t know is that a certain evil king also plans on having the princess’ hand in marriage regardless of whether or not (s)he’s partial to it. Will he find a way out of this, or will he end up falling for one of them? (or both >;))

Content Warnings: none yet

It took Luigi about half a day to reach the castle, the sun could be seen along the horizon peaking over soft, lush green hills that seemed to stretch on forever. His attention was on the castle ahead of him. Princess Peach and her handmaiden, Toadette, were already at the gate waiting for him. They wasted no time ushering him inside, leading him to an empty room. Peach walked to the center of the room while Toadette closed and locked the door behind them. 

“Alright Princess, I’m here, can you please, tell me what’s going on now?” Luigi said following the princess to the center of the room. 

“I need you to attend an upcoming ball for me, I must leave the kingdom posthaste. I’m needed elsewhere, some personal issues have arisen and can no longer be delayed. Toadette will help you make sure you’re well-prepared for the ball and any other situations that may occur in my absence. I will be writing you as soon as I arrive at my first stop, the Flower Kingdom, in Sarasa Land, as I promised to keep you and Toadette updated.”

“Princess, you’re still keeping us in the dark, why can nobody know about what we’re doing?”

She was nervous, so she took a second to think before responding, “Mario would try to stop me, he wouldn’t approve of it. I cannot risk anyone preventing me from doing what must be done. I apologize to both you and Toadette for being so vague, but please, trust me.”

Luigi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Going against his better judgment, he decided to trust her. He dropped his stuff onto the ground and turned towards Toadette who was now approaching him.

“Alright, what first?”

Toadette spoke up, “We need to get you fitted to Her Highness’ garments, we have also prepared a wig and a cover for the lower half of your face. Follow me, Sir Luigi, the Princess will wait here for when we’re finished.”

Toadette took him by the hand and hurriedly led Luigi to the Princess' chambers. The garments Luigi needed to try on were lying on the bed, seemingly prepared before Luigi’s arrival. Toadette instructs him to change into the chemise and she’ll take his old clothes to his other belongings and then lace his corset. Luigi went behind a dressing screen in the room and handed Toadette his clothes. 

He was left alone to think about what he’d gotten himself into, getting himself in the chemise and stockings. He was beyond embarrassed, he couldn’t bear looking at himself in the mirror on the opposite side of the dressing screen. He knew he would have to at some point but chose to wait until he was in the full disguise. Unfortunately for Luigi, Toadette returned motioning for him to sit and lift his arms. She made quick work getting the corset on him and then promptly lacing it. 

“So, what do you know about the ball, Toadette?” Luigi asked, breaking the silence.

“I know that it takes place on the Winter Solstice and it’s held in Her Highness’ honor. And… that we’re going to need to do something about that mustache…”

“Absolutely not, this is where I draw the line-”

“Sir Luigi we don’t have a choice, you can’t use a fan all the time to conceal the lower half of your face.” Toadette was stern.

“I want answers from the princess before we discuss this any further.” Luigi stood up and marched to the door, irritation and fear plastered to his face. 

Toadette chased after him, calling out in a vain attempt to get him to slow down or stop. Luigi threw open the doors to the Princess’ bedroom and found she was nowhere to be seen. His face paled and Toadette, panting behind him, was confused until she caught up to him.

“Oh… oh no.” Toadette gasped, her hands covering her mouth.

Luigi turned towards Toadette fighting tears, “Toadette. I’m done playing mind games with you tell me EVERYTHING.” Luigi’s voice cracked.

Toadette shrunk, “All I know is that since she was pulled aside and notified of the ball, she hasn’t been the same. I don’t know what about it has got her so worked up, she said the ball was celebrating the Winter Solstice, however, I doubt it now. I swear I know nothing more, she’s been unusually distant as of late. She was just here! She was here when I dropped off your clothes.” she sounded like she was one second away from crying.

Luigi frantically began looking for the belongings he had brought with him. Gone. All of it was gone.

Luigi is overcome with panic, “She deserted us… She-”

“Sir Luigi, we must get back to the fitting now that the princess is no longer here.” Toadette regained her composure, the gravity of the new situation donning on her.

Luigi did not attempt to resist and followed her to put on the rest of his new clothes.��

He looked at himself in the mirror while Toadette laced the back of the bodice and adjusted his wig. It was uncanny how much he resembled the princess.

“Sir Luigi, we must remove your mustache now. Do you know what they’ll do to us if they find out we let the real princess disappear?” Toadette’s tone is stern and serious.

“How are you going to explain the nose?” Luigi scoffed, folding his arms.

“We can say you were stung or bitten by something if anyone asks, now hold still, I don’t wish to nic your face.” She responded quickly.

It seems she had thought everything through, she turned him to face her and began to prep his face for shaving. Luigi was still fighting against it until she brought out a blade. He froze and she took the opportunity to shave his mustache off in two flicks of the wrist.

Luigi whipped around and began mourning once he saw a clean-shaven face staring back at him. He crumpled to the ground clutching his face, silent sobs racking his body.

“I do apologize, Sir Luigi, it had to be done. I’m hoping you will not have to do this for too long. The princess ordered me to make you look the most like her, including mustache removal.” Toadette apologized, her voice was sincere and remorseful. 

She took this as her cue to leave as Luigi didn’t respond. After hearing the door click shut, he couldn’t silence his sobs any longer. He moved to the bed, his crying filled the now empty room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: hey sorry its been so long I'm working on the requests and the next chap, ive been super sick and busy ;( I hope you all are having a great day/night <3

<<Prev / Next>>

[shy-bi-letsfuckingdie]

Gay vs Straight: Romance Stories

me: *reads a story about an American first daughter hating and then falling for a British prince, and their love being forbidden*

me: That’s so boring and basic

me later: *reads another story exactly the same apart from them both being male and having gay struggles too*

me: AMAZING!! LET ME CONSUME THIS MEDIA!! I need to find a movie of this

[juniperhillpatient]

I was inspired by THIS post to start randomly rewatching Good Luck Charlie & omg HOW have i never noticed the sapphic vibes between Amy & Mary Lou

[canisvesperus]

Are there any Dexter’s Lab Ego Trip fans in the year 2024

[notsomassiveblackhole]

I’M SORRY ARE YOU ALL SEEING THIS TOO?!?!?!

[trivial-writing]

I like to think Lance and Wallace are older than Steven, and they just treat him like a younger sibling. Wallace just moves Steven’s rocks and disorganizes them because Steven’s adhd/add makes him organize his collection a certain type of way. Meanwhile Lance just straight up takes his seat in Champion meetings. He stopped doing it after Cynthia announced Steven was her bf tho.

Also, Steven is just so sheltered that he literally doesn’t understand what a menstrual cycle is. It’s his big brothers who have to explain it to him. Steven’s just baffled, and is about to make a campaign for days off for menstrual cycles (that does not make any sense).

When Lance heard how Steven fought Team Magma/Aqua he scolded Steven so hard for not doing the right safety protocols.

Lance: “You’re telling me you didn’t have your strongest pokemon out to defend you?”

Steven, confused: “Well, no. Why would I? There was a kid there, he/she’d would have taken care pf that.”

Lance is just too stunned to speak. He just holds out a pokeball with one of his dragonites, silently judging Steven.

Meanwhile Wallace is just watching it all go down.

The cape duo (Wallace and Lance) just grill into Steven about Steven’s lack of knowledge when it comes to women and social situations. They always have to tell Steven that not everyone is as rich as he is. Like:

One time, when Steven visited Lance’s house, he asked Lance why it was so small. Steven also pointed out how much a Champion such as Lance would get double what Steven would get, not to mention Lance’s other job as a detective/in the police force. Lance has to take a minute to think where his money goes and remembers all the times Clair borrowed his money because she wasted all of hers for random stuff.

After one of Wallace’s contests Steven asked him why he didn’t get more intricate clothing. Wallace just sighs.

Steven definitely mourns his mother around Wallace instead of Lance since Wallace knows him the longest, but Steven rants more to Lance. Steven knows for a fact Wallace hates hearing about politics. Wallace is in it for the drama.

Wallace does grill Lance for not finding an s/o though meanwhile he and Steven does. He’s like that one middle child who just gloats about everything (at least that’s how my brother works). Lance is just done with it. However, when Wallace did hear about Lance and Lorelei’s relationship, Wallace just interrogates him about it. Lance is just like “eh, we broke up just ‘cause. Not that big of a deal. Besides, she still gives me dragonite plushies anyways.”

Also, Wallace knows about Diantha’s pathetic crush on Lance, so it’s his life’s mission to get them together. He has a whole entire file and billboard with the red strings connecting to the points. Wallace just breaks into Devon Corp just to use the vacant office for his plans. Steven’s just like, “I can’t cover for you. Just use your own office at your house.”

Wallace has no ear to pay attention to. “Shut up, Steven. I need to do this. There has to be a way to get these two idiots to fall in love. I’ll find out. Even if it’s the last thing I do.”

Yeah, that’s it.

[goofygooberton]

I HATE YOU AMATONORMATIVITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[romantically-yours]

I just wanna go on dates with her

[poisoned-pearls]

you know, Idk if I have to say it, but, cut off those people who drain you. You shouldn’t always have to text first, your friendship shouldn’t end because you stopped talking.

And I know it sucks, that feeling of crippling loneliness. But when shit was absolutely the worst for me, when everything had fucking crashed and burned, I met a few people who finally reminded me what it meant to have someone care, and you’ll get it soon

[tiredfolly]

I made more gravity falls art. They have been on my mind 24/7 and I want to explode.

My very epic and cool Bill design,

I believe in chubby Bill supremacy

The next few drawings were done with my friend @mike2527, also a tsp artist, who is definitely super straight and cool

Eat up my fellow queers

[leftythehelpingtankengine]

Beauty, the Pea, and the Beast

Chapter 2: Oh Balls.

Word Count - 2k

Also available on AO3 & WattPad

Summary: In an attempt to provide aid to a runaway princess, Luigi gets himself mixed up in an arranged marriage to a prince of a neighboring kingdom, what he doesn’t know is that a certain evil king also plans on having the princess’ hand in marriage regardless of whether or not (s)he’s partial to it. Will he find a way out of this, or will he end up falling for one of them? (or both >;))

Content Warnings: none yet

It has been about two months since Luigi had begun his stay at the princess’—well, his— castle until she returns. He and Toadette still aren’t on the best terms but she seems genuine with her apologies and remorse. He will be able to forgive her in time, since then she’s been his rock and confidant. He’s adjusted well to the life of the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, maybe even liked it. However, the most difficult part for him was shaking off his chronic nervousness about everything around him. 

Luigi was sitting in front of a grand mirror with Toadette showing Luigi different dresses for him to pick from for the Winter Solstice ball that was to be held after sundown. He was barely paying her any mind until Toadette spoke loudly, “Don’t fret Your Highness, you’ll do fine, you only need to look the part and occasionally converse with your guests. Why don’t you pick out which gown you’d like to wear for this evening?”

Luigi nodded, his nerves slightly eased, “You’re right, I would like to wear the blue and pink dress with long gloves and a shawl.” Luigi sighed standing up and beginning the elaborate process of getting dressed.

Toadette was making the final adjustments to Luigi’s outfit when they heard a knock at the door, informing them it was nearly time for the guests to arrive. Toadette accompanied Luigi to the vast soon-to-be-filled room to sit on his throne until the first guests arrived. Not long after The doors opposite from him began to open and the guests came flooding in. He stood up as the first guests approached; lords and ladies from the Mushroom Kingdom. He stopped paying attention after the Royal family from the BeanBean Kingdom made their entrance. He finally understood why the Princess didn’t want to be here for this, it was terribly boring so far. 

He saw the room slowly fill up with people dancing and chatting around the edges, a gentle melody echoing and silencing their chatter. He envied them. He was taken out of his thoughts when all of the guests had been introduced, allowing him to sit down once more to eat and enjoy the party as much as he could.

Another hour had passed before the music was stopped and the announcer gained the attention of everyone once again.

“Thank you all for being here tonight for our Winter Solstice ball. In addition to the Solstice, we’re holding it in honor of the new happy couple! We’re thrilled to announce the marriage between our very own Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom and-”

“The King of Koopas, King Bowser.” A large reptilian beast guffawed behind Luigi. 

Luigi stiffened, too frightened to react or even look back at him. Bowser took that as an opportunity to grab Luigi, toss him over his shoulder, and make a mad dash toward the nearest exit with minimal resistance, allowing him to disappear into the night.

Luigi snapped out of the shock and began yelling and fighting him to no avail. He continued for about ten minutes before giving up and letting out an irritated huff.

“Where are we going?” Luigi asked, his voice hoarse from screaming. He was doing the best he could to prop himself up, but settled for resting his head on his arm that’s now propped against Bowser’s back.

“Home, of course. We’re going to the docks first. I have a ship waiting for us.” Bowser explained, clearly pleased with himself.

Luigi sighed in defeat, there wasn’t much he could do at the moment. There was no way he could get away from him between blowing his cover and his current attire. Between the heels and puffy fabric he wouldn’t be able to get far. Oh, and Toadette would kill him if something were to happen to the dress.

Bowser noticed Luigi’s change in demeanor. “Don’t act so disappointed Peaches, I told you that I would come back for you. Don’t worry it won’t be much longer until we reach the boat,” he said, failing to lighten the mood.

Luigi remained silent, ignoring his kidnapper, his head swirling with many thoughts and feelings— fear, contempt, exhaustion. The king was blissfully unaware of Luigi’s mental gymnastics and decided to continue, “I made sure to have someone get your little handmaiden— I know you’re very fond of her after all. I have also arranged for us to be housed in close quarters with one another-” 

At this point Luigi stopped listening, Toadette is in this with him now? He feels a little better knowing that he’s not alone and will still have help maintaining the facade. He can’t get caught, especially not by King Boswer. Luigi shudders, he doesn’t want to think about what might happen if the Koopa King were to find out.

“Are you cold Princess?” Bowser paused, placing Luigi down, and taking off his coat to give to him, then offering his hand. Luigi puts the coat around him and hesitates before taking his hand. He decided it would be better to try to stay on Bowser’s good side for the time being. 

For the first time Bowser and Luigi got a better look at one another and time seemed to stop for just a moment. This was the only time Luigi had seen Bowser outside of aiding his brother in keeping the peace between kingdoms. He was….handsome? Luigi could not tear his eyes away, what about him is so alluring? He was tall, strong, his hair the shade of the most passionate of fires, hands so large to-

“You look more radiant than normal Princess…” Bowser begins. “Even with your swollen nose, you look like a goddess on earth glowing in the light of the new winter moon.”

He was sincere, his eyes were wide and full of an emotion Luigi couldn’t seem to comprehend, as he was still staring helplessly, now flushed. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by rustling behind them. They both turn their heads towards the sound, releasing them from their shared enrapturement.

A bit more rustling occurred before a small figure emerged from the flora; a koopa blissfully unaware at the verbal assault awaiting him.

Bowser’s face contorts to unbridled rage. You could nearly see smoke as he exhales before going absolutely ballistic, screaming at the koopa for interrupting, paying no mind to Luigi anymore.

Luigi recoiled, disgusted with Bowser now. Concluding that his moment of weakness was nothing more than the winter moonlight. Now fully in control of his thoughts and actions, he decides that now would be a good time to try to escape.

Luigi wasn’t sure which direction to run in but ultimately decided any direction away from the scene unfolding would be best.

Bowser had soon finished his verbal onslaught and took a deep breath to regain his composure. With a calm smile on his face, he turned back towards the Princess but quickly realized she was gone. Panic. Sheer panic flooded his senses.

Luigi had only been running for a few minutes at most however it had felt like it had been hours. He would have kept running if he hadn’t tripped over his own foot and twisted his ankle. Luigi cried out and laid there for a second before looking around. His blood ran cold. In an unfortunate turn of events, the direction he chose led him to the very docks he was desperately trying to get away from.

He was quickly surrounded by members of Bowser’s court bombarding him with questions, making his head spin, until a voice roared above theirs, “WHERE IS SHE??”

Silence followed as the crowd backed away from Luigi who was sobbing at this point. Bowser’s face dropped and rushed over to Luigi. 

“Peaches?!? Are you okay? What happened?” Bowser’s face was painted with worry and concern.

In between sobs and sniffles Luigi cries, “You were yelling at that poor koopa, my dress is ruined, and I twisted my ankle in these ACCURSED HEELS-” More sobs wrack his form.

Bowser was completely taken aback, “I sincerely apologize Peaches, you’re never emotional so this must be important to you. I’ll have someone fix your dress and-”

Luigi is seeing red. Him? Emotional? He gritted his teeth together, “You listen here, Your Majesty-” Luigi tries to stand up. “I would love to see you go through a day as me without losing your temper at the slightest of inconveniences. You have no right to call ME emotional when you act like a spoiled toddler if something doesn’t go exactly as you had envisioned it.” He was truly riled up at this point, beyond thinking of the consequences his current actions will lead him.  

“Now if you’ll excuse me I would like to get something to eat and then return to my chambers for the night without you since you so rudely took me before I could even taste the hors d'oeuvres at the ball.”

Bowser was completely shocked, but quickly smiled, “There's the Peach I know and adore. I’ll have everything arranged for you.”

Luigi scoffed as Bowser picked him up and carried him onto the ship. He takes Luigi to his quarters where there’s a physician and an attendant waiting for him.

“Your Majesties.” The physician bowed down to Luigi and Bowser. To which Bowser waved him off and set Luigi down on the settee against the wall.

“I need you two to check and tend to her ankle and bring her favorite dishes. Once that’s been done leave her be.” Bowser sternly instructed, standing tall.

They bowed to Bowser once more, causing him to turn around and leave, the attendant following not long after.

The physician brought a small table over towards Luigi so he could prop his leg up and allow them to examine his ankle.

It didn’t take the physician long to examine Luigi's now swollen ankle. Telling him that it was sprained and needed to stay off his feet for the next couple of weeks. They wrapped Luigi’s foot in a splint, then bid him a farewell, closing the door behind them.

Luigi looked at his foot, frustrated that he ruined any chance of escaping on his own. He couldn’t believe how badly he had messed up in such quick successions. Not fighting or running at the ball, finding a chance to escape but ran in the wrong direction, which had caused him to be immobile for a few weeks minimum. He really has hit rock bottom at this point.

Luigi heard a knock at the door and the attendant from before came in with a large tray of food. He pulled a small table over to where Luigi was sitting and set the tray down. He bowed to him then left without a word.

As soon as the door clicked shut Luigi moved the entire table closer and noticed that Bowser had his cooks prepare a several course meal, which he wasted no time eating. Then he moved to the large bed with great care as to not injure himself further. 

Luigi was exhausted, his mind replayed the instances of the past evening as he laid down. Neither Princess Peach or Toadette had mentioned an arranged marriage to him, or even hinted at it. Could this be the reason why she had Luigi take her place? Has she found someone, or was this the final straw? Luigi can’t say, after all, he doesn’t know who he is allegedly marrying. Obviously it wasn’t Bowser considering their past and the fact he literally made an event of him kidnapping the ‘princess’. 

Luigi put his hands over his face when his mind shifted to King Bowser. He’s so embarrassed with his thoughts and shift in character. How could he have let himself feel that way about an ill-tempered tyrant, even if only for a moment. He couldn’t deny that Bowser was attractive, determined, and confident—all qualities Luigi admired on their own— but his treatment towards others was repulsive at best. 

Luigi yawned, maybe he could change that… and with that final incoherent thought he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

[wrongfourtytwo]

TW:Gore

Blah blah murmur blah psychopath blah blah blah murmur murmur shoot me.

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

and for my next trick, I will go back to the person who hurt me and act like they never did me any harm and submit to the illusion that I’m the problem