#got the limited edition and the extra are so sweet

[songmingisthighs]

Pitiful, You're Pitiful

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ch. vi

group : ateez

pairing : aged up!wooyoung × aged up!reader

genre : angst, mature

word count : 2.8 k

warning : argument, mentions of cheating, negative depiction of wooyoung, mentions of loss, calling an adulteress an assortment of names, idk what else tbh lmk if there is anything else I should add

a/n : I FINALLY UPDATED !!!!! this chapter might be slightly shorter compared to the others but trust me when I say it's very much intentional because I just want to focus this chapter on this one specific interaction. some sort of catalyst or like break from the obliteration of pyp!woo's image ig lmaooooo BUT YAY I DIDN'T FORGET TO POST PYP THIS MONTH !!!!

buy me coffee ?

After the fiasco that was your unveiling of a VERY important information about a staff of the academy, Wooyoung was immediately pulled in to get his side of the story. And of course, unfortunately, you. Luckily, you didn't get chastised by anyone because you were CLEARLY the victim in this situation. Heck, the HR team even reached out to apologize to you for the inconvenience you experienced due to their staff's "misconduct" because you're one of the founders's wives. It was an interesting way of saying that their staff is a cheating whore without any redeeming value but you'll take what you can get out of them and the situation. Which also includes his own friend group contacting you every now and then to make sure that you are okay and some (Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho) even going as far as swearing to denounce their familial relations with Wooyoung which was sweet.

Speaking of Wooyoung, he had been shoved into the heap of horseshit that he had piled on himself. You honestly have never seen him so down because he was "suggested" to take an extra two weeks of break to "settle down from the issue" which was really code for HR still having to clean up his mess because Harin decided to not go quietly. From what you heard from a reliable source (Jongho over pastry and coffee after he ditched his vocal classes to gossip), Harin came back the day after she officially got fired and made a ruckus. Literally, she went crazy and made a mess of the lobby; throwing chairs and tables around, scattering pamphlets, breaking vases, and screaming random weird things like how the company is a misogynist for firing a woman for something that was beyond her control. Safe to say, because Harin refused to move to a quieter spot, Hongjoong had to step in and reiterate all the mistakes she had made including but not limited to her having an affair with a married man who was her boss. Hongjoong had even told her that while there was another party involved, another party that acknowledged the mistakes that he had made and agreed to accept whatever disciplinary actions were required, it was also her choice to partake in such behavior. Long story short, a student uploaded the whole thing on YouTube and as of today, there were 15 different TikTok remixes ranging from EDM, screamo, and even a Donald Trump edit. Without Jongho pointing it out, you could imagine that Harin's career in South Korea was over, not because of the cheating, but because of her disorderly conduct.

You found yourself spending time rather peacefully in recent times which was surprising since your house seems to always be in a state of chaos. For once, Wooyoung didn't try to make you talk to him or about him. In fact, he had the decency to be very considerate of you and your feelings, particularly about being in the same room as him. It made you feel slightly bad to be honest because although you both were going through something, he was in the middle of being the butt of the joke and jab by everyone at the company. It was sad and pathetic but also very much deserved. Sure you sometimes found his isolation to be sad, pathetic, and downright pitiful, but then you remember what he did and you remembered how he put himself in that position without even considering the repercussions.

The same could be said about Dayoung. Well, only in the sense of her isolation seemingly from the rest of the world. Your outgoing, extroverted daughter seemed to spend a good chunk of time locking herself inside her room after school. Usually, you would have to turn into a negotiator three times a week just to get your daughter to come home right on her curfew. This time around, you had a worse time trying to get her out, even making her run some errands just so she could get some fresh air. It wasn't until a while later that Wooyoung clued in on why Dayoung was acting like that. The way you went off on Wooyoung for breaking the news in such a manner without you present or even consulting you. You did try to understand that maybe he just... slipped or that he was so emotional that it just slipped out but the point stood that he waited until you were trying to piece things together to finally tell you. Yet another secret he kept from you. Considering the frequency of things he said but hid away from you, you had to think if this was some sort of behavioural pattern that he hadn't exhibited even if you both had been married for quite a long time. Maybe he had became a master a suppressing it and all it took was you forcing the truth out of him to make said behavior to come back to the surface.

On the other hand, Woohyun was turning into a more mature and responsible version of himself. the day you both came home from confronting the slut, Woohyun became so very helpful towards you. The first thing he did was took your bag and brought it over to the kitchen table before he dashed to the bathroom to wash his hands, cleaning himself up before you had to tell him to. Then he made himself very available for you by making sure that he spent almost every single waking or available moments with you. When you;re in the kitchen doing the dishes or cooking, he would be on the counter or the dining table doing his homework. Sometimes he would even try to do chores like one time he tried to help you bringing his sister's laundry basket from the second floor and he ended up scattering everything down the stairs. Woohyun was upset and worried that you would be mad but instead, you laughed it up and helped him clean up before teaching him how to carry items that are heavier than him down. Although you couldn't find it in yourself to bring it up in case you ended up accidentally telling him yourself, you had a feeling that Woohyun was trying to distract you from the reality of what was going on with your husband in his own way. One of the things that solidified your assumption was the fact that Woohyun had limited contact with his dad significantly. The two of them used to spend time together playing games or pulling pranks on one another and even on you or Dayoung but he had suddenly refuse to spend elective time with Wooyoung no matter how much Wooyoung tried to negotiate with him with everything that he got. Despite that, Woohyun dudb't lose respect for his dad.

"Mom?"

You almost dropped the plate you were washing when you heard a voice come up from the doorway. It was surprising to see Dayoung standing there, timid like a deer because she was always happy, lively, and rambunctious, even straight-up disrespectful to you, your space, and your boundaries. But never this. She had been so... quiet for a week and it would've made you freak out had it not been for Wooyoung letting you know that Dayoung knew. That was all he said, she knew. You did not know what had gotten over you to not deck Wooyoung right then and there but he should absolutely consider himself a lucky bastard.

The sight of your own daughter standing there made you feel... anxious. You probably (most likely) should not be afraid of a bitty teenager, but how can you not? It's not like you thought that she was going to attack you or worse, ask you to give Wooyoung a sponge bath. But you just never saw your daughter this... Muted. It was as if she had stepped into an old TV where there was nothing but black and white. You silently wished that Woohyun had not gone to the zoo with his playdate friends because he would be a great buffer. Or witness for whatever that was bound to happen.

"D-do you need help with the dishes?" She asked, stepping closer to you slowly. At first, you were surprised, not exactly expecting that the first thing she would say was an offer to help you with a chore. But, you welcomed her with a smile and nodded, stepping to the side so she could come next to you and start wiping down the washed dishes.

There were no words exhchanged between the two of you for the first five minutes or so but it wasn't awkward. It was the first time that the silence was peaceful when it was just the two of you. Usually, the silence would always only come from Dayoung and it was because she was mad at you for something. Not at you and Wooyoung, just you. You were always the receiver of her animosity even when she was mad at her dad for whatever insignificant reason there could be, but this time was different.

"Mom..." she called you suddenly but what came next surprised you instead, "I'm sorry," she started, not looking at you which was unfortunate because you were staring at her with a very priceless dumbfounded expression. "I- I- what?" "I'm sorry for... This, my part in... Whatever's going on with you and dad. I'm really sorry for making you take care of him. Had I known, I wouldn't have made you take him in," she confessed and you could see that she was starting to tear up. Your heart broke and you really wanted to pull her in and give her the biggest hug that you could muster just to show your support for her but you knew that it would just make yourself feel better for accomplishing something and not actually help her feel better. So you took a step closer to her and breathed out a sigh of relief when she didn't push you away. "I'm really, really, REALLY sorry mom. He's the worst husband ever," she sniffed which made you chuckle as you blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall, "Well, I would say that Emperor Peter, Catherine the Great's husband is a far worse husband than your father."

Your attempt at making light of the situation was met with Dayoung squinting her eyes at you. "Mom, I'm serious. I've heard about my friend's dad cheating but not like this. Not in your situation, and not with someone dumb enough to think she can substitute a hand wrap for martial arts with boob tapes," she scoffed, annoyed. You sighed and shrugged, "Well, people are complicated, sweetie. I... I'm not mad, annoyed, or angry that you wanted me to take care of your dad because, in retrospect, it WAS the absolute right thing to do. I mean, your dad was injured and he's facing such a hard time at work. It would be absolutely wrong to just toss him to someone else. Who would we even toss him to? His friend? His parents?" "His whore, mom. We could've tossed him out and have his whore handle him."

The very second the words left Dayoung's mouth, your eyes widened and your neck snapped in her direction to see her frowning, staring up at you. "He's a cheating bastard and we have the right to not even be in contact with him anymore," she curtly stated. "Jung Dayoung," you started shakily. Dayoung simply shook her head to cut you off, "No, mom, oh my God, you need to stop being a doormat." "Dayoung!" you exclaimed, surprised that she was able to say such a thing and perhaps slightly offended. "It's true! God, mom, how long have you known that he has a side piece who's as dumb as a bag of rocks? How long have you held everything in and just let him walk all over you? He fucking CHEATED on you mom! When you were so down in the dumps to the point that you couldn't even take care of yourself properly! You used Woohyun and I as a distraction, shoving all the attention and care to what, fill in the void over the loss of my would've-been sibling? And where was he? He was with some other woman because he is the worst of the worst and I will never forgive him for what he did to our family!"

Maybe it was the volume of her voice or the massive weight of her words but you felt your blood boiling and before you even realized it, you had shoved a plate into the sink and you were huffing, "Jung Dayoung that's enough, you should not talk about your father that way." "Why? Why shouldn't I, mom? My God, this is the first time in like, maybe ever that I'm standing up for you, this is me protecting you and yet you're still trying to make excuses for that pathetic son of a bitch who betrayed his family!?" "He did not betray our family, okay? He betrayed me, Dayoung!"

Just like it was the first time Dayoung defended you, you had experienced your first time screaming at her and to say that she was scared was an understatement. Dayoung shut her mouth and stared at you with sadness in her eyes because she had yet to comprehend why you were still trying to stand up for your cheating husband.

"Your dad did nothing to our family, sweetie. He did this to me," you sighed, closing your eyes and exhaling shakily as you used both of your hands to hold onto the counter to stabilize yourself. "Sure, he might have altered the dynamic and whatever else in our family but he... What he did was nothing against our family but it was just against me. At least, that's what I think. I don't think I have it in me to find out exactly why he did what he did because I'm weak, Dayoung. I'm a coward like that." you turned to her and shed a tear, breaking Dayoung's heart as she realized just how strong you were all this time.

"Then why, mom? Why are you still letting him off?" Dayoung asked, her voice cracking. You tearily chuckled and shrugged, "Who said that I am? I'm doing this, ALL of this, not because I want to. I did it, because for the longest time, that was what we have agreed on in our marriage. He deal with the monetary stuff and I deal with the family stuff. As much as it hurts, no matter if I like it or not, he is still my family because his behavior be damned, he... He gave me you and your brother and that is something I would never regret. For that, I will always be thankful to him and that is also why you should still respect your father. You can be mad at him, you can be hurt by what he did, but your respect should be non-negotiable not because he deserved it, but because your dad an I taught you better than that. He truly loves you, Dayoung. He might not love me anymore but you and Woohyun are the apples of his eyes, you are his stars in the dark night sky, and you are the best thing he had and would ever achieve. Do you understand me?"

Dayoung groaned and dropped her head on your shoulder as she wrapped her arms around your waist. "Damn it mom, why do you have to make it hard for me to unleash my wrath on him?" You couldn't help but chuckle and return her hug, "Sorry sweetie, part of my job is to make sure you grow up to be a decent human being and sometimes I have to make or say things you don't like," you chuckled, making Dayoung roll her eyes but nudge her hips with yours.

As you spend a heartwarming moment with your daughter, you can't help but let your mind slip and travel somewhere else. You couldn't help but think about how you and Dayoung would probably not have experienced such a changing moment in your life. So as much as you hate it, there was a silver lining in this whole shenanigan.

Beyond the heartwarming scene in the kitchen, alone in the dark and cold emptiness of the living room, Wooyoung stood with his back to the wall. Having come down when he heard the commotion, Wooyoung initially thought he might have to step in to get Dayoung off your back. But when he heard you yell back at Dayoung, he stopped in his tracks and debated If he should stay or leave until his interest was piqued and he ended up listening in on the conversation which left him feeling broken down. Despite the gnawing pain that made him feel like he couldn't breathe, he knew he deserved that and more. He should not complain and instead, he should just accept the harsh truth. Not just the facts that you laid out to Dayoung, but also the truth that your action further proved that he was truly the devil in this equation. And perhaps he doesn't deserve to be forgiven.

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[astrophileous]

A little fluffy piece of reader who normally takes her coffee black vs Spencer having a ton of sugar in his? The two of them getting their drinks mixed up and almost spitting it out at the pure amount/lack of sugar? 🤭

OMG I was actually planning to include a similar scene in one of my upcoming oneshots, but you know whattt!!! I'll write them again here anyway bcs it's such a cute concept 🥰

Warning(s): gn!reader but reader wears lipgloss, profanities, fixation over lips, bashful spencer bcs he's my babygirl <3

This blurb was written as a part of the "Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K" celebration.

Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

"What the fuck?"

Spencer strode over just in time to see you spitting something out into the kitchenette sink. There was no concealing the disgust on your face as you eyed the cup in your grasp suspiciously.

"Hey." Spencer's voice tore through the air in a shaky ball of nerves. It sounded meek amidst the buzzing busyness of the BAU bullpen, yet still, you snapped your head up as soon as the single syllable left his mouth.

Your eyes instantly melted when they flickered towards his face.

"I think our drinks got switched," Spencer added, a little louder this time.

Your gaze played a tennis match between the identical cups in both your hand and Spencer's. The grimace you rewarded him in the next second was possibly the cutest thing Spencer had seen in the past few months.

"This is yours? That explains so much. Ever heard of diabetes, Dr. Reid?" you joked as the two of you returned each cup to its rightful owner. "What the hell is in that, anyway?"

"Um, coffee?"

"Right." You rolled your eyes. "I may know practically nothing compared to you, Doctor, but I know for a fact that was not coffee. Tell me, how many sugar canes had to be chopped down to satisfy your abominable preference of sweetness?"

"It's not that bad."

"Not that bad? Do you even know what real coffee tastes like?"

Before he could produce a reply, you suddenly thrust the cup of coffee in your hand right in front of Spencer's nose. The man staggered rearwards until his back met the wall with a thud.

"What are you doing?"

"Try it," you said sheepishly.

"What?"

"Try the goddamn coffee, Reid."

Spencer didn't actually need to try the goddamn coffee. After all, he knew your order like the back of his hand: iced americano with an extra shot of espresso, maybe one pump of syrup if you were feeling adventurous. He could already imagine how revolting the drink would taste.

But as you continued to peer at him behind your lashes, eyes twinkling with mischief and lips glossy from your favorite cherry lipgloss—the limited edition one that you had proudly boasted about in front of the entire team—Spencer could feel his IQ depleting in a rapid descension. He accepted the cup without a word and took a courageous sip.

"Well?" you questioned expectantly.

"Please don't force me to do anything like that, ever again."

Laughter exploded deep from within your chest when Spencer shoved the coffee back into your awaiting hand. He didn't have a lot of time to mull over the nauseating bitterness, however. Not when you proceeded to wrap your own lips around the lid—the same one he was just drinking from—and downed a generous sip.

Spencer averted his gaze away.

"Hey." JJ peeked into the pantry area, unaware of the rush of blood and inner turmoil that Spender was battling. The blonde waved the file in her hand before gesturing at the conference room. "We've got a case. Hotch wants everyone in five."

You skittered away after JJ's announcement, leaving Spencer dumbfounded and pathetically bothered by the image of your enticing lips. He followed after your footsteps, leading himself towards the conference room where the rest of his team was gathering. He drank a large sip from his own coffee to calm his racing heart, unaware of the reddish stain in the shape of your lips marking the area around the lid of his cup.

For the rest of that day, Spencer could taste traces of cherry on the tip of his tongue.

[entropyvoid]

Greater Sumeru Autism Polycule

This started off as a joke and sorta spiraled outta control just a teensy tiny lil bit. Honestly I would’ve liked to have slapped a bit more on there but uh. Paper space was limited. Transcript below readmore because I know my handwriting can be difficult for some to read? (Plus extra character interpretations/headcanons in italics.)

Disaster MLM half:

Cyno - Highly competitive, except towards Nari, who he practically reveres.

Tighnari - Designated mom friend. (Tighnari is a master of knowing when to be strict and when to be soft. He doesn’t take crap from anyone, but he’s also got a very kind and caring side that encourages others to open up/be vulnerable to him. He makes sure people are taken care of.)

Alhaitham - (He is often misunderstood by others as looking down on them and does nothing to correct their misconceptions or to try and make friends, so I imagine he may have been a bit surprised to basically wake up one day and find himself surrounded by people who look past that and see him for who he is, given that he is probably Teyvat’s most introverted person. He tends to analyze and pick apart the people he likes, like he’s examining them in a petri dish, and if he cares for them he will go out of his way to do silent favors. Not one to express affection verbally (I don’t think he knows how to communicate in a way that isn’t biting and critical,) he lets his actions speak for themselves, and if the other person doesn’t pick up on it, then whatever.)

Kaveh - (An emotional wreck who gives and gives and gives and gives and gives. The people who really stick in his life in the end though are the ones who support him, rather than the other way around, even though Kaveh does his best to try and keep his multitude of problems to himself.)

Kaveh and Alhaitham: Friends to enemies to roommates to lovers? (It’s complicated.) (Tsundere x Kuudere. Teyvat’s messiest gays, hands down. There is so much more to say about them than I have the room for here.)

Cyno and Tighnari: Anthro guy and his furry boyfriend, sweet and spend as much time together as possible, co-parenting Collei. (They’re very domestic with each other. Cyno lowkey lives for competition and usually bonds with others through it, but he doesn’t really do that so much with Nari, their relationship seems to be the exception. Perhaps because Cyno thinks so highly of Tighnari and has such a tremendous amount of trust for him that he just sort of believes Tighnari will succeed at whatever he does.)

Kaveh and Cyno: Met through Tighnari, and like each other a lot. Unbeknownst to Kaveh though, Cyno sees him as a comedic rival. (And thinks he’s very pretty.) (Kaveh is unaware of this. Both the Cyno thinking he’s pretty bit, and the fact that Cyno sees him as a comedic rival. Kaveh doesn’t even try to be funny, his rants about his roommate just sort of are by default.)

Cyno and Alhaitham: Like two tomcats having a standoff (homoerotic edition.) (Haitham is not typically a competitive person, but his respect and admiration for Cyno makes him sort of an exception, and each of them r e a l l y bring out the fight in each other. I think of their relationship as being much like the one between a shounen protag (in this case Cyno) and their rival (in this case Alhaitham.) They challenge each other, bring out the best in each other and have fun in the process, and form a close bond built on a deep level of mutual respect. A.k.a if Cyno is Yugi-coded, then Alhaitham is his Kaiba.)

Alhaitham and Tighnari: Met through Kaveh, lowkey awkward and shy towards each other in a way neither really expresses. They don’t quite fully know what to make of the other, but they do like each other. (Could become something more…?) (They seem to interact the least in the group, and Tighnari’s perception of Alhaitham is probably effected by Kaveh’s endless ranting and venting, but they’re both friendly towards each other and seem to like each other. But I’d like to see them interact more directly with each other. Plus - sometimes Alhaitham needs to be told he’s being a prideful idiot - and I think Tighnari’s the only person in his life who would be able to calmly break down and explain why he’s being an idiot, and Alhaitham would be very likely to listen to him.)

Tighnari and Kaveh: Long time besties, Nari is Kaveh’s designated venting buddy and his last anchor to sanity. (Tighnari is also particularly gentle with and supportive of Kaveh.)

Wholesome WLW half:

Dehya - Tripped and ended up with three girlfriends, and brought them all together. (Dehya probably gets propositions from a lotta starstruck swooning ladies, but it’s always while she’s on the job, and she’s a professional. Plus, I hc her as demiromantic, I just get the vibe that she’d only really want to date people she already knows well. She has a very tough reputation, but is very tender with her three weed smoking gfs.)

Dunyarzad - Is very active during her Elezar recovery and often travels to visit her various girlfriends and likes to bring them gifts. (I think she loves nature, and once she’s able to more freely move and explore without the threat of being locked away, I think nothing could stop Dunyarzad from going to see as much of Sumeru as she can. Dehya often accompanies her.)

Nilou - This is what punk looks like in Sumeru. (Local artist down to overthrow the government at the drop of a hat, is stuck in a constant struggle against the Akademiya to have the right to exist as herself publicly. Nilou’s incredibly badass, actually.)

Candace - Calm and comforting, Candace herself is like an oasis in the desert to those close to her.

Dehya and Dunyarzad: Lady and her knight romance. (Their adoration for each other is clear. Dehya’s too professional to date her employer, but all bets are off once she quits.)

Dehya and Candace: Two of the desert’s toughest warriors being ridiculously cute and wholesome together.

Dehya and Nilou: Dehya not only has a lot of respect for Nilou’s nonconformity and resistance, but also finds her adorable. Takes her out often.

Dunyarzad and Nilou: Long standing friends, now go on trips together often. (Nilou’s schedule is very flexible, so she’s often down to travel with Dunyarzad at the drop of a hat, where Dehya is sometimes preoccupied with a job. Plus, they totally both end up planning future Sabzeruz festivals together.)

Dunyarzad and Candace: Met through Dehya and quickly became close. Dunyarzad has a type, and it’s sweet yet badass women.

Candace and Nilou: Nilou’s always the most successful at getting Candace to step away from her duties in Aaru village and go have fun with everyone. (The others really don’t know how she does it.)

Aaaand the couple of bridges between:

Kaveh and Nilou: Unbreakable bond of the only two art kids in Sumeru. (Pls hoyo I need them to interact in canon.)

Alhaitham and Dehya: Alhaitham has a one-sided crush on Dehya, (and occasionally invites her to TCG nights,) while Dehya thinks he’s the weirdest friend she has. (I hc Alhaitham as the kind of bisexual guy who’s 99% attracted to men with like One Buff Woman thrown in there because. Frankly. I think it adds a really funny extra dimension to their relationship. Haitham has never met anyone as forthright and honest as Dehya, and admires that about her. Dehya would never reciprocate his feelings in a million years, she values him as a friend, but also finds him snooty and insufferable at times, and struggles to understand him largely because of the vast cultural/communication style gap between Akademiya scholars and Eremite mercenaries, though this is somewhat bridged by the fact that both of them are extremely honest, blunt, and upfront about what they think. Despite their differences, they are a fun duo.)

[walker-extended-universe]

Celebrating Walker event

Though the end of Walker isn't exactly something we're looking forward to, I do think there is something to celebrate. Walker was a fantastic show that got four seasons and a spin-off in a very constricting entertainment climate. It brought the fandom a lot of joy and gave us a great story with a lot of new characters to fall in love with. As much as I mourn the loss of one of the best shows on the CW, I'm happy to have been here for it.

So, in honor of the greatness that came before, I'm proposing a "Celebrating Walker" event! Four weeks gushing about our favorite aspects of this show. Each week will have an overarching theme such as "Favorite Character" and each day will have a specific sub-category such as "Favorite Antagonist".

Anyone can participate in this celebration event and there's no limit to what can be submitted for the celebration. Gifsets, fanfic, meta, fanvids, photo edits, anything goes! Your only limit is your imagination. I'll be using the tag #celebrating walker but if you want to make extra sure I see your creation, feel free to tag or DM me.

Ready to celebrate? Because I am!

Here is the schedule I've put together for the event:

Week 1 (August 5-9th): Favorite Dynamic

Day 1- Friend dynamic

Day 2- Family dynamic

Day 3- Enemy/antagonist dynamic

Day 4- Romantic dynamic

Free day- Unexplored dynamic

Week 2 (August 12-16th) : Favorite Episode

Day 1- Season 1

Day 2- Season 2

Day 3- Season 3

Day 4- Season 4

Day 5- Favorite finale

Week 3 (August 19-23): Favorite Character

Day 1- Regular cast

Day 2- Side character

Day 3- One-off character

Day 4- Villain/antagonist

Day 5- Character we should've seen more of

Week 4 (August 26-30): Favorite Plot

Day 1- Season arc

Day 2- Family plot

Day 3- Ranger plot

Day 4- Singular episode plot

Day 5- Plot that should've been explored more

You don't have to participate in every single day to be a part of the event, but you're certainly welcome to try! I know I will be :D

Now let's get to celebrating!

Taglist below the cut (if you want to be added to the taglist, see this post)

@theladywyn, @jaredwalkertexasranger, @laf-outloud, @aborddelimpala, @mysterybeau, @sweet-sammy-kisses, @kickingitwithkirk, @rhl74, @peachparakeet, @dumb-fawkin-bitch, @loveforwomenstuff, @low-soduimfreak, @ihavepointysticks, @waywardmaslow, @arte-mishuntress, @the-slythering-raven, @deeranger, @duo-kun, @inafieldofdaisies, @not-your-housekeeper98, @nancymcl

[mazzymoonlight]

Are There Still Beautiful Things?

summary: inspired by taylor’s “seven”, follow JJ and reader through snapshots of their lives together.

warnings: mentions of the death of a parent, mentions of excessive drinking, mentions of abuse

word count: 9.9k

a/n: hellooo & welcome to my first fic :) some of this had been previously posted in parts, but after evaluation i realized this needed to be heavily edited & worked better in this format. this fic has a special place in my heart, so i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing it. (p.s, happy obx 3 eve!)

SEVEN

please, picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven feet, in the swing over the creek, i was too scared to jump in but i, i was high in the sky with pennsylvania under me … are there still beautiful things?

JJ Maybank thinks the last time he was truly, truly happy was when he was seven. At such a young age, anything seemed possible. The sky was the limit and the ocean was their backyard. He had his mother and his father, and even though it leaked sometimes, a roof over his head.

And he had his friends, his favorite people in the world. John B, who he had been sat next to on the first day of second grade and was now inseparable from, and y/n, the girl whose mother was his mother’s best friend, who he had known his whole life.

It was always the three of them, getting into trouble together and spending nearly every moment with each other. You rarely saw one of them without at least one other, and even at such a young age, it was clear they had a bond some people spent a lifetime searching for. They were lucky, and people liked to tell them that.

In their younger days, one of the moms (or more often, both of them together) would often take the trio around. Watching at the beach while they learned to surf, the parks while they played until red in the face, treating them to dinners at the local establishments, or ice cream on those extra hot and intolerable days.

But their favorite was camping in the backyard. They would set up a tent and a bonfire, and roast s’mores and stare at the stars.

JJ’s mom had a particular affinity for the mystery that hung above them and would spend hours teaching the kids everything she knew. She loved the moon, she would tell them everything she knew. She liked to talk about the phases and what they meant, what kind of full moons they were in store for soon.

But Saturn was her favorite, she would talk about any chance she could.

Did you know it’s actually a big ball of gas? That it would float in water?

The ring is made up of ice and dirt and bits.

It’s windy up there.

It takes twenty-nine earth years to revolve around the sun.

Time must move slowly up there.

And they let her talk too. And they listened to every word. They listened to the tales and myths and theories of space until they couldn’t fight the sleep back, and their eyes of wonder became sleepy, slowly blinking at the woman in front of them.

“Goodnight,” She’d say to the three of them, and then she would lean in close to JJ, and leave a kiss on his little forehead.

“I love you to the moon and to Saturn.” he would fall into sleep with a smile on his face.

Nights like that were always beautiful. Memories like that were beautiful.

JJ couldn’t help but wonder; without them, was there any beauty at all left in the world?

FOURTEEN

sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won’t tell no other, and though i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you your braids like a pattern love you to the moon and to saturn, passed down like folk songs … the love last so long.

The summer they were fourteen, JJ’s life changed. His mother passed, and he was never the same after it. It seemed like the entirety of the outer banks was aware of the light that had been lost.

y/n and her parents were right alongside Luke and JJ. None of them knew what was in store without her. Filled with anger, sadness, regret, and guilt, they all knew that she had so much more to give. Life was not kind, life was not fair, and although they all knew it, they never thought that they would get a reminder quite like this.

JJ stood in between his two best friends, y/n’s hand in his, she was struggling too, but she was holding back. She knew she had to be strong for JJ, she had lost someone special, but he lost his mother, and that was something that he would never get back, something that could never be replaced.

That night y/n stays with JJ, and they end up outside the same way they used to, but without a bonfire tonight. Tonight they stare in silence at the night sky, both thinking about all the things JJ’s mom had told them about the stars and planets above.

“I keep thinking she’s on Saturn,” y/n says, suddenly, the thought slipping out before she can think about stopping herself.

“What?”

“I keep thinking about Saturn, how much she loved it.” She clarifies, “And I keep thinking how happy she must be to finally see it.”

There’s more she wants to say, but figures it’s nothing that JJ hasn’t already heard. What can she say, really? When she catches his smile, the first she’s seen in weeks, she leaves it at that. She’s said all she needs to.

“Yea,” he said, wiping a stray tear. “I bet she is. I like that thought.”

And he meant it. The thought of his mom, an angel on her favorite planet, he didn’t think there was any other explanation.

FIFTEEN

JJ’s fifteenth birthday creeps up, and y/n had worked extra to get him a special present. She had seen it in one of the windows of the fancy boutiques on figure eight and immediately ran in to look at it, begging the store owner to hold it for her after seeing the price on the tag. It had to be JJ’s, she knew it the moment she saw it.

So two weeks later she returned with money collected from babysitting and delivering groceries, the proudest smile on her face. Bringing it home and exchanging the chain for a longer silver one before wrapping it up neatly.

Everyone gathers at the Maybank home on the day of. John B and his father, y/n and her parents, and Pope and Kiara, who the trio had recently befriended.

Luke had even put in a little effort, putting up some simple birthday decorations he had bought from the dollar tree. It wasn’t very much, but all JJ cared about was that everyone he loved was there with him. JJ was happy, but there was a lurking sadness in the back of his head. This was his first birthday without his mom. There was an empty space that would never be filled, no matter how hard he tried. And he was trying very hard.

Despite the weight of loss, it was one of the best days JJ’s had in a long time. Luke had set up a slip-n-slide for the kids, really just a tarp with some water and some dish soap but the kids didn’t care. He grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and even stocked up on more sodas than they needed. y/n had made a cake and John B helped her decorate it. It was sloppy, but it was theirs, for JJ.

y/n had waited until later to give JJ his present. She found him still sitting at the outside table with his hand on his chin, looking up into space like he always did.

“There you are.” She says, siding into the seat next to him. She follows his gaze up toward the night sky.

“Looking for Saturn?” she asks.

“Always am.” He answers sadly despite the small smile on his lips.

She doesn’t say anything, only matches his sad smile with one of her own, and holds out the box shyly.

“Happy birthday Jay.”

He takes it gently, looking at her with a look neither of them can register yet. He leans into her a bit, nudging her softly before tearing at the paper.

When he opens the box his smile drops, and suddenly it feels like he can’t breathe, he feels caught off guard as his emotions blindside him. He had no clue what to expect but this certainly wasn’t it.

y/n sees his reaction and it feels like a gut punch. Why had she gotten him that?

She felt so certain it belonged with JJ but seeing him look so upset now she just felt stupid.

“JJ, I’m sorry, I can bring it back, I just thought … if you don’t like it I’ll take it back.” She tries to explain herself and reaches for the box, but he jerks away from her when she tries to take it back.

She freezes, confused now. He doesn’t catch her reaction, still looking at the necklace in his hands.

“I think I’m forgetting her.” He finally says, voice barely above a whisper, like he was scared to say it. Like this was the first time he was admitting it to himself.

“I’m scared y/n, it’s only been a year, and every day I’m scared I’ve lost another piece of her, what if I’m forgetting her?” And then he’s crying before he can stop himself, sobbing almost.

He clutches the box to his chest like he’s scared to let it go, like letting it go would be the end of the world for the second time.

y/n pulls him in, a few tears of her own falling, thinking of all the things she would do and the things she would trade to take away his pain.

“JJ… you’re not going to forget her, okay, I promise you. All you’re doing is healing, trying to learn to live a normal life without your mom, something that no child should ever have to do. You have so many memories of her, you have so many stories and pictures. You're a piece of her. When you’re older you’ll pass the stories on, and people who never got to know her will know her. And when you're older, older, you’ll tell your kids about their grandmother, the woman who was as strong as a hurricane and soft as a butterfly all in one. You won’t forget her JJ, you can’t when you’re part of her.”

She talks him down, and once he subsides he sees the truth in her words, he trusts her so he trusts what she’s saying wholeheartedly.

“You promise me, y/n?”

She holds him tighter

“Cross my heart JJ.”

“Okay,” He says, sitting up from her.

“Okay?” she questions, wiping the last few tears from his face “because you don’t have to be.”

“I know, but I will be.”

She smiles at that, she knew he would be, even if he didn’t fully believe it, he was the strongest person she knew.

She nods towards the necklace “so you like it then?”

He nods. “I think this is the best present I’ll ever get.” And finally pulls the chain out of the box, staring at the clip confused as he tries to figure it out himself.

y/n laughs, making a motion for him to come closer.

“Here, I’ll do it for you.”

She undoes the clasp and wraps it around his neck, closing it again before adjusting, the charm settling just above his heart.

Her fingers linger on the charm, smiling at the memory, the meaning of it.

“Now you have your own Saturn, always with you.”

His hand closes on hers.

You are my Saturn y/n, he thinks.

But instead, he wraps her in a hug, “wanna camp out tonight? I’ll get John B to come back, the three of us like old times.”

She nods in his arms.

“Always.”

That night the three of them all felt like things had gone back to normal, even just for the night both John B and y/n were glad that JJ could feel some type of relief, even if it was fleeting. They knew in the morning things would go back to the way they were, and JJ would struggle a little bit more than the average person, but if they could just give him a couple of hours, it was worth it.

And finally, when they’ve retired to bed and settled in their sleeping bags, JJ and y/n had the same thought running through their minds as they fell asleep.

I love you to the moon and to Saturn.

And JJ swears he felt something press against his forehead that night, exactly like old times.

SIXTEEN

and i’ve been meaning to tell you, i think your house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why, and i think you should come live with me and we can be pirates … then you won’t have to cry, or hide in the closet and just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

The summer they were sixteen was one they had been dreaming about what felt like their whole lives. Finally old enough to roam freely, exploring all the nooks and crannies unsupervised. The trio had now officially graduated to a group of five, and now they took on the world with Pope and Kiara by their sides.

It should have been a dream. Granted, most of the time it was, but there were nightmares constantly lurking in the corner. JJ didn’t want to admit it, but he was pretty sure he had finally lost his father.

Luke Maybank was never the same after his wife died, but for a while, he at least attempted for JJ. He tried, he really did, to be there, and be something for JJ. But he was losing himself, and in the past year, he was slipping further and further away, turning into someone that even y/n’s parents, who had known him for so long, didn’t recognize.

The drinking was getting out of control, and the hitting started not too long after. When he was sober, he was sorry, but eventually, it became a rare occasion to find Luke Maybank sober

So JJ’s normal became sneaking around his own house, avoiding the last of his family, seeing how many family dinners at y/n’s he could get invited to each week, and saving everything he could from his oddball jobs to get out as soon as possible.

He didn’t like to talk about it, in fact, he never did. He let the pogues think whatever they wanted to and never gave them a real answer when they asked. As far as he was concerned, they didn’t need to be concerned about him, he’d be leaving soon anyways.

But y/n knew. She watched like she always did, she was observant. She watched his eyes get that faraway look whenever he rattled off his latest excuse and the way his smile would fall when he thought no one was looking. She watched him and knew he was hurting more than he would let on.

She had gone to his house to find him but only found Luke instead, and what she saw scared her. She did not recognize the stumbling drunk man looking back at her. And he didn’t recognize her either. The girl he had watched grow up next to JJ, the girl he had roasted countless marshmallows for when she was scared of getting too close to the fire. The girl he made pancakes for in the mornings and the girl he lit fireworks for on the fourth of July. None of the memories registered, he had run her off his property like a stranger had just trespassed.

It was when y/n knew that for the second time, JJ’s life had changed. The knowledge tormented her for weeks. She hated the small piece of her that still felt sympathy for Luke, he was a broken man with plenty of reason to be. She was holding out hope, that something good would happen to JJ.

But when JJ showed up with a black eye one afternoon, blaming it on a group of kooks, she knew she had to say something. She spilled half-truths to her parents, although she suspected they picked up on the unspoken story from the tears in her eyes.

“I’m just - I’m worried about him. I just have this feeling that things have been, I don’t know … harder than normal lately.”

Her parents had sensed the shift too, all her confession had done was confirm the suspicion. Her mother told her then that JJ was always welcome in the home, and her father told her he would try to talk to Luke the next day.

And that worked for a little bit, JJ had visibly perked up and for a minute things seemed like they were back to normal, and y/n was waiting for the right to tell him what she knew but it seemed Luke had beat her to it.

She had been waiting for him at the beach, but her smile immediately turned to worry when she saw him storming up toward her.

“What the fuck y/n?” was the first thing out of his mouth, and now instead of worried she was panicked realizing his anger was directed towards her.

“JJ, what-” But before she can get anything else out he’s talking again.

“What did you do? What did your dad do? What’s with all these cryptic messages of watching us and threatening to take me away? I mean what the fuck, what does that even mean? Take me away? Away from what, my home? My father, my only family I have left? How could you do this to me?”

Her face pales immediately, her head shaking.

“JJ, that is not what happened, that’s not what he meant -”

“So then it’s true, he did come by?”

“Yes but he didn’t threaten your dad JJ, he -”

“You know what y/n, I don’t care. I just came to tell you to stay out of it. I don’t know what you think you know, but my dad and I are fine. We don’t all have a picture-perfect family to go home to at the end of the day.”

His words stung, leaving her nearly speechless. “That’s- that’s not fair JJ. You are family.” She chokes out, but he was already walking away.

“What if it was me?” She calls out, frustrated.

He stops, and she keeps going. “If I were you, and my dad was putting his hands on me. If I started showing up with marks and bruises, wouldn’t you do anything to protect me?”

“I don’t need you to protect me y/n.” And that’s the last thing he says to her before walking away.

JJ’s not around for the next couple of weeks, and it drives y/n up the wall not knowing where he was, or what he was up to.

She spends time with the pogues, but she’s never fully there at any time, part of her mind was constantly on JJ. She finally broke one day and told the pogues to please go find JJ and make him go out on the boat with them. They tried to argue with her but she told them that she was pretty sure that if he didn’t blow off some steam soon, he was going to start getting into trouble, and it wouldn’t be good for him.

She gave them space for a few days, and just assumed that they had picked up JJ and got him out of the house for a bit, so she nearly lost it when the pogues finally confessed that they hadn’t seen or heard from JJ since they had been tasked to go find him.

“Are you sure he’s not at the house?” she asked “Sometimes he just won’t come out, or if you ran into Luke then -”

“He wasn’t there, and we didn’t see Luke either. We checked inside.” Pope answers.

She could feel herself panicking.

“Why did you say something sooner?” She stressed, looking mostly at John B.

He looks down, away from her gaze. “You know how he is y/n… and you were already worried enough. We thought he’d turn up soon, he always does.”

She shakes her head, “maybe, but haven’t you noticed that when he does there’s always a new bruise?”

The three of them exchange looks while she closes her eyes, taking a breath and trying to think for a moment.

“Okay, why don’t you guys go check some of our beach spots maybe? There are a few places I can look and just keep me updated if you find him and I’ll let you guys know too.”

They part ways and y/n knows she’s going back to check the house first. Even if he had left, he was never gone from the house long, there was too much to leave behind.

She parks a little way down from the house, she hadn’t been back since the day Luke had yelled at her and if she was being honest she was still a bit scared. She crept up to the house carefully, freezing she hears shouting, the noise becoming clear once the door swings open.

“Boy, I tell ya, that’s just about the funniest thing I think I’ve heard you say.” y/n hears him laughing maniacally.

“You’re not going anywhere, you won’t leave her, you know you won’t. You’re stuck here, just like me.”

Luke stumbles off towards a trail and y/n waits until he’s out of sight before dashing into the house, finding it still and quiet. She wonders for a moment if Luke had been talking to himself the whole time, not finding it entirely impossible considering how drunk he seemed.

And then y/n is suddenly realizing that the last time she had been in this house was JJ’s fifthteenth birthday, and she was suddenly very aware of how empty it felt. It had lost the warmness and comfort it once held, feeling more like a ghost town than a home now. She felt out of place, which was something she never, ever thought she would feel in the Maybank home.

She notices a slightly open closet door at the end of the hallway, and she swore she could hear sniffling, muffled cries like someone tucked away and hiding in there.

“JJ?” she called out, and when it suddenly went silent again, she knew, rushing over to the door and opening it delicately.

And there JJ was, curled up in himself, knees up to his chest and a photograph in his hand. She knew exactly what photo he was looking at, and she immediately dropped next to him. She didn’t know what to do, she didn’t want to scare him, but looking at him broke her heart.

So instead she starts talking.

“I remember that day.” She says. “That was one of the fourth of July parties, we were all there, even John B and his dad. And this was the year the full moon lined up with the holiday, and your mom was so excited, she talked about it all day and got us excited too. Our dads bought way too many fireworks like they always did. And we ended the night with s’mores, of course, because it wouldn’t be one of our nights without them. You always were so messy. There she is again, cleaning you up.”

JJ falls into her then, and y/n catches him like she always does, and always will. She has tears too, staring at the picture of an innocent JJ, a smile plastered on his face, stacked s’more in hand, staring up at his mom who he loved so much, with no idea he was going to lose her in the next few years. And there was his mom too, beautiful as always, her own s'more in one hand and the other attempting to wipe the sticky marshmallow from his mouth, laughing because she knows it’s useless. But she was his mother, so she would try regardless.

She wraps him up in her arms, her grasp firm so he knows she’s there but not tight enough to hurt him.

“I know why you won’t leave. I know why you won’t leave him, why you always come back. You’re holding on to that last piece of normal. It’s okay, it’s okay to hold on, but not when it’s hurting you like this. This house is full of memories, but it’s haunted and full of pain too. I would never ask you to leave what you know, but please just come with me for tonight, maybe a few days at most.”

JJ has always trusted y/n, so even now, when he was upset and jumbled with emotions he trusts her.

She lifts them both up gently. “Let’s get some spare clothes, okay? I can pack them for you if you want.”

They both walk into his room but he makes no effort to pack. Instead, he picks up another photograph that was sitting on his dresser before sitting at the end of the bed. Without saying anything else she grabs one of his duffle bags, and starts putting in a few extra shirts and shorts, and even grabs a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt just in case. When she’s finished he’s still staring at the photo like he’s in some kind of trance.

She throws the bag over her shoulder and reaches her hand out to JJ. That seems to break him out of his state a little, standing up and pocketing the photographs. He takes her hand and they walk out of the house together, out to her car.

She pulls into her driveway, and they walk into the house together and up to her room.

“Why don’t you shower and change?” She can tell he’s still dazed, and she’s hoping a shower will relax him.

While he showers she makes her way back downstairs, her parents are out of town for the next few days, so she figures she’ll cross that bridge when she gets there. She does, however, text the pogues, realizing just how long it had been since they all began looking for JJ. She keeps it simple and just lets them know that he’s okay and with her for now.

And then, she makes two sandwiches, one for herself and one for JJ, because she knew he wouldn’t eat if he thinks she had made something especially for him. When she walks back up the stairs into her room, JJ is already out of the shower and changed. He looks up when she walks in and she lifts up the plates of sandwiches slightly.

“Eat with me?” she asks.

They sit and eat the sandwiches in silence, and when they’re both finished she runs the plates back down before returning with two classes of water.

“Okay,” she says after a few sips. “Just try to get some rest, okay? I’m going to shower, but I’ll be quick.”

Long after the shower turns on, JJ is still hesitating and realizing how stupid their fight was. All that he knows is that he missed y/n, and now he was here with her, everything felt like maybe it would all be okay.

He had just made it under the covers when the water shut off, and a few minutes later y/n came out, not hesitating to lay down in the bed beside JJ. It didn’t matter that they had been fighting, or not speaking, or had not seen each other in the past few weeks. They would always be there when it was needed.

“I’m sorry y/n,” he says suddenly. She had thought he had fallen asleep.

She shakes her head, even though he can’t see her.

“It’s okay.”

He rolls over, and now they’re both on their back, staring blankly at the ceiling as if staring long enough would make it disappear and show them the night sky just on the other side of it.

“But it’s not.” He starts, “You were just trying to protect me. And this whole thing has been so stupid - I’ve been so stupid. I didn’t like that, us fighting, us not talking. It just feels like … a storm sometimes. In my head, and it scares me when I’m not in control.”

His hand finds hers in the dark, “I know you were just trying to protect me. I was just mad at myself because I feel like it’s my job to protect you, and I wasn’t doing that.”

She squeezes his hand. “Maybe it’s not okay…” she starts, “but just know I understand, and that I’m always going to be here.”

She looks at him then, reaching up and finding his chin, turning it gently.

“And we protect each other, okay?” There’s a desperation in her voice that he picks up on. One that he understands, deeply.

He gives her wrist a soft squeeze, “okay.”

Then he’s curling into her, and she lets him. It’s silent for another moment before y/n breaks it this time.

“JJ?” she says quietly.

He’s barely awake but he still answers her with a tired “Mhm?”

She hesitates, “to the moon and to Saturn.” She backs out, but the unspoken meaning is still there.

He smiles.

“You are my Saturn.

EIGHTEEN

please, picture me in the weeds, before i learned civility, i used to scream ferociously … any time i wanted

y/n blinks and suddenly it’s graduation. She’s never been happier, a swirl of excitement and pride all in one stirring in her stomach. For herself and everyone but mostly for JJ. Things had been okay enough, but no one could deny the hand JJ had been dealt. He faced it every day, the sideway looks and the backhanded comments and the flat-out insults. But he had done it, proved them all wrong.

Luke had even made it to the ceremony, sitting tucked away in the back as he watched his son walk the stage, and afterward y/n eyes them as they had a conversation before finally parting ways.

JJ runs over to the rest of the group, scooping up y/n and spinning her around, cheering and causing a scene.

“We did it, we’re done!” He’s yelling, “we’re free!”

They continue to chat for a while and joke around, taking photos until the parents are all satisfied before parting ways with plans to meet back up at the beach later in the night.

JJ goes home with y/n and her parents, where there’s a small celebration set up for the pair. They eat cake and flip through old scrapbooks and photo albums. He’s happy, but there’s a sting in his chest, wishing his mom was there.

He imagines briefly, what it would have been like had his dad never changed, if he would have been there in the living room with them, or if he would have had his own afternoon planned. He decides not to dwell on it, instead, he wraps his arms around her from behind on the couch. He focuses on her, and her parents, the photo album of past memories. He understands he’s still lucky.

It gets later, and before JJ and y/n leave for the beach her parents call them into the kitchen again, they have something for JJ. He blushes at the statement, although he tries to hide it. He’s handed a small box and is shocked when he sees a silver key sitting inside.

“We hope we aren’t overstepping,” your mom starts, “really, it’s a bit overdue but we just thought - we just want you to know you’re welcome here anytime.”

Her father places a firm hand on his shoulder when he sees JJ getting choked up, “just if you ever need anything. Hell, if you ever just want to come bother us. You know you’re family.”

He laughs a bit, trying to lighten the mood, shaking his head, “Aw man, now you guys got me all emotional.”

Then he looks up at her father, “thank you, really.” And then he turns to her mother too, and she pulls him into a hug that he gladly accepts. “This means a lot to me, really… I don’t … I don’t know what I would’ve done without you guys. Where I’d be… just, thank you.” He tells her.

“You don’t need to thank us, honey. We’ll always be here to take care of you.”

The moment passes, he pulls away, clearing his throat in an attempt to hide his emotional state and he turns to y/n. “Alright, soaps over.” He announces, “you ready to go?”

They make their way to the beach, talking about summer along the way. JJ keeps listing all the things he wants everyone to do together before it’s time to part for school.

They find a spot on the beach, sitting and talking about how strange it is to be done with high school, and the future. Everyone is leaving, even John B. But JJ and y/n decided to stay close to home, not ready to leave yet.

“After college,” he says, “that’s when it’ll be time to go.”

“You would leave Outer Banks?” She asks, slightly shocked.

“Yea.” He says, confused as to why she was so shocked at his statement

“I’ve always said that, why the face?” He questions.

She looks down, realizing that he was right, he had always said that. She never thought about it in detail, never pressed him on it. Maybe she thought all this time that he never really meant it. Everyone always says they want to leave their hometown but how often did they really?

“nothing it’s just, something I heard Luke say once.”

She catches the way his face drops and she tries to backtrack

“No, no, it was nothing bad I promise. I heard him say ‘you know you won’t leave her’ and I don’t know, it’s just the only thing I’d ever agree on with Luke. That you wouldn’t leave your mom behind, and I understand that. You could build something better, be something better.”

He has a pained look on his face, his hand reaching up to the Saturn around his neck.

“Did you mean what you said, about me being a part of my mom?”

She rests a hand on his shoulder, “of course I did JJ. Everyone knows. You’re the best parts of her.”

“Then it won’t matter where I go. She’ll always be with me.”

Then the look on his face turns into a smirk.

“Besides,” he starts, “it wasn’t my mom he was talking about.”

y/n pulls her arm back from JJ’s, retreating into her own space.

“Oh.” She says simply, starting to wonder who would keep him tied here.

The only other girl he really had in his life was Kiara, and they had been awfully close this past year. She had even gifted him a locket for his seventeenth birthday and it now sat right next to his Saturn charm. It took everything in her not to ask what it was, her curiosity was killing her but she respected his privacy more. But truthfully, y/n couldn’t blame JJ even if she wanted to. Kiara was special, she wouldn’t want to leave her either. She didn’t want to leave any of them.

And then y/n started to realize that she always thought it would be her and JJ. Whenever she imagined the future, JJ was there too. She was realizing that maybe it was selfish of her to just assume he’d always be there. She knew he had dreams of his own, and who was to say that she was involved in any of them?

“Hey now,” he starts when he notices the change in her demeanor, grabbing at her face and pushing at the corner of her lips, playfully trying to force a smile.

“Why’s my y/n so sad?” He says with a pout, putting on a dramatic voice like he’s talking to a hurt child.

She pushed his hands away, trying to look annoyed but failing miserably, not being able to control the smile that follows her laugh.

“Well I’m sorry, my best friend just dropped a bomb that he has some mystery woman he’d follow to the ends of the earth. I guess I’m just a piece of moldy bread to you now, huh? I’ve been replaced.”

She overplays her sadness, saying it dramatically, but truthfully deep down a part of her is hurting at the thought.

His hands have moved to the side of her face.

“Come on now y/n, you’re supposed to be the smart one.”

She places her own hands on his, turning her head to the side slightly in question.

“Oh my god y/n,” he laughs, “are you going to make me say it?”

She remains silent, her face reflecting her deeper confusion, wondering what he was on about. She honestly felt like she had missed something, feeling like he had moved on to a whole new topic all together.

“It’s you, you big dummy!” He exclaims, shaking her a bit to emphasize his point.

Suddenly y/n is shocked and embarrassed, moving her head down, trying to hide from JJ’s gaze.

He laughs again and pulls her in, “I would never leave you y/n. You’re stuck with me.”

She doesn’t reply, but she doesn’t need to, instead, she lets him tuck her into his chest. Her eyes land on that locket of his, and she can’t stop her fingers from playing with the charm.

Then suddenly his hand is running up her arm and grabbing hers.

“Why don’t you just ask already?” He says and she immediately freezes. “I know you want to know.”

She still doesn’t say anything but she shrugs her shoulders a bit. Yes, y/n was dying to know what was in the locket but part of her also felt it was an unspoken line that she shouldn’t cross. It was Kiara that had given it to him, so it was probably something that meant a lot to the two of them, and she didn’t want to pry at their relationship.

Of course, he would tell her if she asked but she never let herself.

“Just open it y/n.”

She looks up at him, still hesitant. But the look on his face reassures her, so she pinches open the locket and immediately smiles when she sees the photo inside. That photo from that fourth of July all those years ago, sitting with his mom on the banket, marshmallow all over his face. She can’t help the bittersweet tears that prick at her eyes, thinking about all that JJ had accomplished, and wishing more than anything that his mother had been there to see it.

Then silently JJ reaches up and opens the locket the rest of the way, and when y/n sees the photo on the other side it feels like all the air has been sucked out of her. It’s a photo of him and her from when they were little, looking like it’s from the same night. There they were, standing next to each other with wide eyes and beaming smiles, sparklers in hand. Trails of light surrounded the sparklers, the children unable to keep them still.

And that was when y/n knew. She knew that it would always be the two of them, somehow and someway. She knew that she would go wherever he wanted or needed to go at the drop of a hat and that he too would follow her without hesitation. And most of all she knew she was lucky. She knew how lucky she was to have someone like JJ in her life.

She closes the locket with tears in her eyes, and rests her palm on his chest, feeling his heart beat wildly. When she finally looks up she sees him tearing up too. She reaches up and wraps her arms around him, holding onto him tightly and he does the same.

“I love you JJ.”

He squeezes her tighter for a moment.

“I love you too y/n.”

And maybe the words meant more to both of them. It seemed like over the years that the lines between loving platonically and loving romantically had blurred. Best friends, soulmates, twin flames, they were always something to each other. But the one thing that they did know was that they had time. They had so much time to figure it out and neither were in a rush to figure it out. What they were now was good, who were they to question it?

TWENTY-TWO

sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won’t tell no other, and though i can’t recall your face i still got love for you, pack your dolls and a sweater, we’ll move to india forever … passed down like folk songs our love last so long

It’s Friday night and the Fourth of July. y/n has been cleaning the apartment all day, needing everything to be perfect. Everyone lived busy lives now, but they were coming tonight to celebrate. She even decorated. A few balloons tied to chairs and red, white, and blue streamers hanging from the doorway.

She hears the front door opening but doesn’t look up from the counter she was wiping down.

“Are you still cleaning? It’s just the pogues y/n, relax.”

“I know,” She says, folding the last blanket and placing it on the edge of the couch “I just want it to be nice. It’s all going to be so different soon.”

There’s a beat of silence and a bittersweet tension hanging in the air.

“Why are you home so late?” She asks, changing the subject quickly.

He lifts the grocery bag in his hand, “beer” he says simply.

She rolls her eyes. “JJ, we have plenty of beer.”

She starts walking towards the kitchen and JJ trails behind her, pulling the pack of beer out of the bag.

“Oh y/n, you can never have too much beer.” He places the pack in the fridge and then starts taking out a few more items.

“Plus, we can’t do the fourth without our favorite.”

She smiles at the contents on the counter, “how could I forget the s’mores?”

JJ turns back to her and puts his hands on her shoulders.

“Because you’re in overdrive, and stressing yourself out. Go take a nap before they get here. You’ve been up all day and I know you had a late night, you’re tired.”

“No, I was going to make some snacks and -” She protests.

“You don’t need to make anything, Kie said she’s bringing dinner from The Wreck.”

“Well, what about the fireworks?”

“John B has it covered”

“What about -”

JJ cuts her off again, “everything is done y/n, we’re ready for tonight. Go rest.”

She pulls him in, wrapping her arms around him.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

She looks up at him, admiring him for a moment. It was something she caught herself doing often, and if he noticed he never commented on it.

College had been kind to JJ. Once he got a handle on it he thrived in the freedom of it. They were coming up on a year since graduation, and JJ had since shed his childlike habits. He was still himself, the light of the party and loud and still sometimes impulsive but underneath it all, he was a man now. It was evident in the way he carried himself now, broader and more confident. He took his life seriously and was happy to do so.

She smiles up at him, “I’ll take a nap if you come with me.” And when she looks at him with those eyes of hers, JJ simply cannot resist.

“Okay, come on.”

They walk over to the couch, JJ picks up the blanket and unravels it before laying down.

“JJ! I just folded that.” She says, slightly irritated but laying down nearly on top of him anyways.

He only rolls his eyes at the comment, dropping the blanket over them and wrapping his arms around her, y/n melting into him as soon as he does.

Minutes of silence pass, and JJ thinks she’s fallen asleep until she speaks up.

“Are we sure about this?”

“y/n, we’ve spent months talking about this. I promise you we’re doing the right thing, okay?”

She sighs, knowing deep down that he was right, so she lets herself relax and catch up on the much-needed sleep.

-------

Hours later and the night has finally begun. They’re all sitting in the living room, chatting. JJ and y/n exchange a look, and they know it’s time. 

“Alright guys, we have something to tell you all.” Her smile is spreading, but she still turns to JJ for reassurance. He takes her hand in his and the pair turn back to the group.

“We’re moving.” They both spit out at the same time. 

The other four drop their mouths in shock, it wasn’t the news they thought they were getting, but it was still enough of a bomb to catch them completely off guard. 

But the speechless shock only lasts a brief moment before they start bombarding the pair with questions.

“Okay, okay!” y/n shouts, trying to calm all the voices talking over each other. 

“San Francisco, California. That’s where we’re going. I got a job offer and JJ found a few places hiring where he can teach surfing lessons.”

Kiara and Sarah are nearly jumping from excitement, pulling her into a hug. 

“y/n, that’s amazing!” 

“Congrats, baby!” 

“When do you have to be there?” 

y/n’s smile drops and she pulls away. 

“Well, that's the thing…” She starts, glancing towards JJ again, and that’s when he steps in. 

“Our lease for here is up at the end of this month anyway …” 

“You’re moving across the country in less than a month?” 

“We didn’t think it was going to move this fast but things just seemed to line up that way…” 

...

After the excitement and explanation, they’ve migrated into two separate groups, the boys still lingering in the living room. 

“So that’s not the announcement we thought we were getting tonight,” Pope says, nudging JJ. 

JJ looks at him confused, “what do you mean?” He asks. 

“He means,” John starts, sitting up, “when are you gonna ask y/n to marry you?” 

JJ nearly chokes on his drink at that, even spitting a bit of it out. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asks, “we’re not even dating.” 

The other two glance at each other for a moment before back at him.

“What?” 

“What?” The other two echo back, just as confused. 

“And I thought two of my best friends moving across the country was going to be the biggest news of the night,” John says, taking a swig from his beer. 

“What have you two been doing the past five years then?” Pope asks.

“We’re just … She’s my best friend, you guys know that.” 

“But aren’t you guys more than that?” John asks. “You know, you could have told us you’ve been dating since high school and we’d believe it. You really aren’t together?” 

JJ shakes his head, trying to explain what he doesn’t fully understand himself. 

“No, not like that. We’re just… we’re JJ and y/n. Like we’ve always been.” 

The other two share a small laugh. 

“What?” The blonde asks.

“It was never JJ and y/n,” Pope answers. “It was always jjandy/n.”

“Have you guys really never?” He pries. “... At all? Anything? This whole time? Have you talked about it ever?” Pope continues as JJ shakes his head.

“No… we haven’t, we’ve never had to. I just know I’m always going to have her, and she’s always going to have me. We’ve never questioned or talked about how or in what way.”

“But what are you going to do if she meets someone? If you meet someone? Will you move out? Do you two even know how to function without the other?” Pope spits the questions out at a rapid-fire, genuinely curious.

“Of course, we can function without each other, we aren’t codependent.” JJ sighs, taking a breath, “I don’t know what’s going to happen if we meet people, we’ve never had that problem. She’s never mentioned guys past a hook up so I don’t know.”

“And what about you? What if you meet a girl?”

“I don’t know! Good god, what’s with the third degree?”

“You’ve seriously never thought about the future?” John presses. 

“Not in, that sense I guess.”

“Okay, here, close your eyes. Don’t give me that look, come on just close them.”

JJ rolls his eyes but does as he’s asked. 

“Okay, now, imagine yourself five, maybe even ten years from now. What do you see?”

“I don’t know… I just - I just see y/n.” 

…

In the kitchen, Kiara and Sarah are giving y/n a similarly hard time, although it seems to be phasing her a little less. 

“You know we totally thought the two of you were going to tell us that you were finally engaged, right?” 

y/n rolls her eyes at Sarah, jumping up onto the counter to sit, “I’ve told you guys, we aren’t even dating. I don’t know where you keep getting that.” 

“Still?” Sarah nearly shouts, “You guys still aren’t dating?” 

“Ha!” Kiara cuts in before y/n can reply, “You owe me ten bucks.” 

“Oh, so you guys are betting on us now?” 

“Sarah’s betting.” Kiara says, “I’m making a profit.”

The other two are still standing, leaning against the counter inches away from y/n.  

“What have the two of you been doing this whole time?” Sarah starts asking. “I thought for sure after we graduated college the two of you would finally get together.” 

“They’re their own thing, Sarah, I keep trying to tell you.”

“But you guys are basically together, aren’t you? Is it just a ‘we don’t want to put a label on it’ thing?” Sarah presses.

“No, we aren’t together romantically at all. As I’ve said, I don’t know why it’s so shocking to everyone whenever I remind you.” 

“But do you want to be?” Kiara asks, shifting the tone of the conversation a bit. 

“I don’t know.” She says quietly, thinking it over. 

“I mean, Sarah is right you guys have been together for, well your whole lives really. You guys are moving across the country together. The two of you are pretty much starting your lives together. What if he brings someone home? What if you meet someone?” 

y/n just shrugs, starting to feel the tingling of emotions. 

“To be honest with you, I don’t like to think about it. I mean I’ve dated here and there, and I know JJ has too but it never became anything serious for either of us.” 

That day on the beach all those years ago had been enough to hold her over. The thought of always being together in some way, but now that they were getting older and a new part of life was starting, would that hold true? 

“I just know I want him in my life.” She continues, “I mean, I think part of me always did think that maybe we’d end up together but… I don’t know I just, I guess I just want to make sure we’re together because we want to be, not because we’re all we’ve ever known. Sometimes I get scared that we’re holding each other back, that there’s something or someone we’re missing out on.” 

She looks back up at the two girls, shaking her head at her emotions that seem to be building up. 

“But most of all I just want him to be happy you know? I need to be prepared if it’s not with me. I guess I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m saying.” 

Sarah places a hand on y/n’s shoulder comfortingly. 

“No, we get it. I think a lot of this is just anxiety from the move, from this big life change coming up. I can tell you, the one thing that’s never going to change is you and JJ. You guys are absolutely not holding each other back. Trust me, one of us would have said something if we were worried.” 

“You can’t see it from the outside.” Kiara jumps in. “It’s not always bad to have someone like you have JJ. Never once have either of you held each other back. You’ve always brought out the best in him and he’s always brought out the best in you.” 

“You really think so?” She asks, looking between the both of them. 

They both nod, pulling the girl into a group hug best they can, just as the boys are walking back in from the living room. 

“Hey!” JJ immediately shouts, walking over to the three girls. “Which one of you made my y/n cry?” 

Sarah wordlessly moves from her side and next to Kiara, making space next to y/n for JJ to slide into, sending a look to Kiara at the words my y/n while doing so. 

“Kiara was telling me a story about work.” y/n says quickly. “You know how I get about the turtles.” 

“Oh yes,” He says, lifting a hand and wiping away the few tears, “that would explain it.” 

“What about you boys?” She asks, nodding at Pope and John as well, “What were you all gossiping about, huh?” 

“John was telling me all about the fireworks he brought. You ready to go light ‘em up?” 

She jumps down from the counter excitedly. 

“Yes, let’s go!” She says, grabbing the large plate that contained chocolate and graham crackers in one hand and a large bag of marshmallows and skewers in the other. 

The rest of them follow the pair out, watching as JJ takes the plate from y/n so she doesn’t have her hands full. 

“Okay,” Sarah says, “I’d put money on a year from now.” 

“Oh my god, Sarah,” Kiara says, giving her a playful shove. 

The rest of the night is good, y/n makes sure to take a moment to let it sink in, all their smiles and all their laughs. 

They set off fireworks, and sparklers, throw poppers at each other’s feet, watch the boys run from one another with roman candles in hand, and JJ and y/n eat their weight in s’mores. The night runs longer than intended, especially since the girls decided to bring the alcohol back out. 

Finally, long after the night has settled and everyone has lingered for as long as they can, the group starts to say goodbye to each other. Dishes and trash are brought back inside, excess fireworks and belongings collected, and goodbyes dragged out until JJ and y/n are left in their apartment.

y/n lets out a long sigh, feeling the night and the drinks and the reality of them leaving catch up to her. It felt a lot more real now that they had told their closest friends. 

JJ notices her lingering by the door and tugs her gently on the arm. 

“Hey, you wanna sleep with me tonight?” 

She nods silently, a grateful smile on her lips. 

“Go change and meet me in there, okay?” 

She moves a little bit slower than usual, weighed down by exhaustion, doing the bare minimum to get ready for bed, simply changing her clothes and brushing her teeth lazily before pulling her hair up and walking to JJ’s room. 

He’s just climbing into bed and she follows without hesitation, curling into him. She thinks about how easy it is with JJ, or maybe natural is the better word. Everything just is with him. 

He notices the way she’s holding his hand tightly and to her chest.

“Hey,” he starts softly, “you know if … if you’re second guessing this whole move, just say it and we’ll stay. Or… just tell me and I’ll stay.” 

“No,” she says quickly, holding him even tighter now. “It’s not that…” She pauses, trying to gather her words and her courage. 

“It’s just, you know that I love you, right? But do you know that I love you?” 

JJ thinks he can’t breathe and worries for a second that his heart beating as fast as it is can’t be healthy. He wonders for a moment if he’s already fallen asleep and if this is all just a dream. 

Because this is the moment he’s been waiting for his whole life.

“I’m starting my life with you. Moving all the way across the country… away from our home, our family, and our best friends. But the thing is, as hard as I know it’s going to be … I don’t care. Because I’ll be with you, JJ. I’ll have you. I don’t want anything else. Anyone else. I never have.” 

It’s more of a confirmation than anything else.

There’s a moment of silence, and she holds her breath. Then another, while JJ tries to find his words. His mind races, processing her precious words. Pieces of their life together flash through his mind.

He’s crying before he can stop himself, overwhelmed.

“Just… come here.” He says desperately, pulling her in and locking her into his hold. 

“You’re going to make me cry.” She says, muffled in his chest. 

If it was anyone else, maybe the tears would be alarming. She would’ve read the situation differently, and taken it as a rejection. 

But it was JJ. And tonight is more of a confirmation than a confession. 

He pulls her even closer, tightens his grip in hopes of emphasizing his words, and just how much he means it. 

“I never told you outright, but you had to have known, right?… that it was always going to be you? I’ve never been good with my words but I hope I’ve shown you. I hope you’ve felt it this whole time. How important you are to me. How much I love you.” 

She escapes his grip, pulling away only so she can see his face. 

“I have never felt anything but loved by you JJ.” 

And then JJ blacks out he thinks. Or maybe it was just a mind-numbing rush of adrenaline. Or maybe it was natural instinct that had been lying dormant this whole time, just waiting for the right moment. 

Because one second he was staring at her glossy eyes, and the next his lips had found hers. 

Finally. 

It’s soft and slightly desperate, dizzying and intoxicating. 

A sensation that both of them had been the feeling they had simply been waiting for their whole lives. 

They only break away to relieve the burning in their lungs. 

“Say it,” she begs softly, a little out of breath and a little drunk on JJ. 

His mind is in a haze, a smile still adorning his lips as he tries to get back to hers. “I love you.” 

“No,” She says, pulling on him to get as close as possible, “the other one. Tell me again.” 

He doesn’t even hesitate, knowing what she means in an instant. 

“You’re my Saturn, y/n.” 

She smiles into his chest, “again.” 

His hand finds her cheek, guiding her face to look up at him. 

“You are my Saturn.” 

“Never stop saying it?” 

He kisses her again, then pulls her back into his side, tucking her into the spot that she’s always belonged in. 

“Never.” 

[joedirtymadre]

Cream Puff

MASH X READER! FLUFF! (Please send more requests!)

You were currently studying in the library with Lemon, trying to prepare for the upcoming potions test. “Let’s take a short break…” Lemon sighed as she leaned back in her seat. “Yeah… I think I’m starting to get cross eyed… I’ve been reading the same page 4 times already…” you groaned. 

“By the way (Y/N), how come Mash isn’t here studying with you?” Lemon asked. “As soon as I mentioned that we have a test next week he started short circuiting. “That’s when Lance, Dot, and Finn dragged him off. They said they would help him study,” you shrugged. “I see, well they’ve helped Mash so many times on past tests and quizzes that I bet they’re experts on dealing with him,” Lemon said. 

“Seriously… I love Mash, but when he starts short circuiting I can’t help but panic…” you sighed. “Really? Well don’t you think it’s sort of cute when he does that?” Lemon nudges you. “In a way,” you smiled. “Well, what other expressions does he make that you think are adorable?” She asked. “Hmmm… I love it when he realizes I have an extra cream puff on me,” you laughed. “Aww,” she cooed. “Also, when he tries to tell us a lame joke,” you added. “Well, what about expressions that you don’t like?” Lemon changed the question. 

“Don’t like?” you asked as you sat back and thought. “I never really thought about that, I’ve never disliked anything he’s done… Other than that time he stuffed a creampuff in my pocket and I sat on it without knowing it was even there…” you explained. “I guess… but I meant more like whenever he’s been too clingy or jealous,” Lemon said. “Clingy? Jealous? Mash is neither,” you replied. 

“Oh come on, there has to have been one time where he got jealous and began to act clingy or something,” Lemon said. “No he’s never done that before… I don’t even think he knows what jealousy is,” you pointed out. “Well… what if we irk him a little, see if he’s not a robot,” Lemon giggled. “I don’t know… Mash jealous? I can’t even imagine it,” you said. “Well it won’t hurt to see,” Lemon smiled slyly. “I don’t know Lemon, it doesn’t seem smart to trigger someone’s jealousy,” you pointed out. “It’s not like you’re gonna cheat on him! Come on, I already have a plan!” She said as she dragged you out of the library.

The Next Day

You and Mash patiently waited for the rest of your friends to arrive. “Today there’s a new limited edition cream puff available, I’m so excited,” Mash drooled slightly. “I know, I heard it might be either matcha or pumpkin. It sounds so delicious!” You smiled softly. “By the way… why are you so dressed up today?” He asked as he pointed to your outfit. You were currently wearing a green sundress… or more like Lemon forced it onto you. “W-Why you don’t like it?” You asked nervously. “No, it’s nice, but you don’t normally wear dresses like that. So I was wondering…” he said softly. “Ah, well I’m glad you think it’s nice,” you smiled as you reached out to grab his hand. 

“Hey!” You heard someone call out and turned to see Lance and Dot. “Hi!” You waved back. “Sorry we’re late, this guy couldn’t pick which sister shirt to wear…” Dot groaned. “I have to pick the perfect one, or else I’m doing my sweet sister injustice,” Lance glared. “Well I’m glad you guys made it,” you smiled. “Oh by the way, here you go (Y/N). We brought you a flower,” Dot said as your friends handed you a rose each. “T-Thanks? That’s really sweet of you,” you said confused by your friends’ gifts.

“We were also told to say you lo-” Dot smacked Lance’s head, stopping him mid sentence. “What he was going to say was how nice you look today! I think so too! That color looks great!” Dot said quickly. “Thanks,” you said, finally understanding what was going on… You glanced a look towards Dot and he quickly returned a knowing glance back. Lemon’s behind this…

You then turned to Mash, wondering what his reaction to this was. You frowned when you noticed a blank stare. “Thinking about the new cream puff Mash?” You sweat dropped. “Oh wow, did you just read my mind (Y/N)?” He asked. “Sure…” you trailed off.

“Hey! (Y/N)! Everyone!” You heard someone call out. You turned to see Lemon and Finn, “Hey guys,” you smiled. Finn approached you and handed you a small bag. “H-Here (Y/N), these are for you. Also, you look n-nice,” Finn stuttered. “Thanks Finn,” you said with a sympathetic smile. “Oh wow (Y/N)! The guys all brought you gifts! That’s so sweet of them!” Lemon said rather loudly. Everyone turned to see Mash who was silently watching.

“Wow, you guys are so nice. Now can we go get the new cream puffs before they’re sold out?” Mash asked. Everyone sweat dropped at the unfazed Mash. “Y-Yeah, let’s go,” you said, feeling slightly disappointed by your boyfriend’s lack of reaction. “Yippee,” he said and raced towards the stand. “Well that was a waste of time…” Lance said as we began following Mash. “Lance, shush!” Lemon scolded him. “It was sort of a let down… I was sort of hoping he’d punch a hole in the ground to tell us to back off (Y/N). I mean, that’s what I would do,” Dot added. “You can barely punch through a piece of paper, how would you punch a hole into the ground?” Lance asked. “What was that?” Dot asked as the two began bickering.

“You ok (Y/N)?” Finn asked. “Of course! Why wouldn’t I be glad my boyfriend doesn’t get jealous, just means he knows we’re solid,” you said trying to reassure everyone. “Yeah…” Finn replied. 

You arrived at the stand. Seeing Mash eating his cream puffs. “How are they?” you asked. “Good, want a bite?” he asked. You nodded and took a small bite, “Hey I was right it’s pumpkin!” you smiled. “Yep, but sadly I could only buy 5… The owner said that’s the limit because they’re so popular,” he moped. I guess cream puffs are worth more of a reaction than me… “I’ll go buy some, and we can share them,” you said. “Really? Thanks (Y/N), you’re the best,” he said. 

You purchased the cream puffs and handed 2 to Mash, “Thanks,” he said as he began munching on one. While snacking and chatting you felt something pull on your skirt. You looked down to notice a little boy, “Hi there!” you smiled as you knelt down. “Miss, can I have one?” He whispered. “Huh? Oh, a cream puff?” You asked. “Mhmm! It just smells so yummy, but I didn’t bring any money today… Just one please?” He asked. “Oh umm… sure!” You smiled as you reached into your bag and pulled out the last one. 

As you were about to place the cream puff into the little boy’s hand, you noticed it disappear from your hand. “U-Uhh?” You questioned as you looked around, thinking it fell. You then look up to see Mash towering over you while eating a cream puff. “M-Mash? Did you just…” you trailed off. “One sec,” he said as he zoomed away. You turned back and watched as Mash snatched the cream puff Dot was about to eat and raced back to place it in the boy’s hands. “Take this one,” he said. “Hey!” Dot yelled

“Ignore him, here take it,” Mash said as he gave the little boy a cream puff. “Wow! Thanks miss, thanks mister!” The boy said as he ran off. You turned to Mash who continued munching on your cream puff. “Mash?” you asked. “Hm?” He replied. “What was that all about?” You asked. “What do you mean? He still got a cream puff…” he trailed off. “Ok, but why didn’t you give him that one?” You asked, confused. “Because… I can only have your cream puffs… I didn’t like that you were going to give him one of yours…” he said softly. “So never give anyone a cream puff except me,” he said as he finished the last cream puff. 

You smiled and leaned closer to him, using your thumb to wipe off any crumbs. “And you can only do this with me too,” he said softly, avoiding your eyes. “Alright, I promise,” you smiled before you gave him a peck on the cheek. “And that… especially that,” he said. “Yeah, yeah, only you,” you laughed.

[astranite]

What would your oc’s carry in their bags/have on them in everyday life?

This is changed a bit from the original school bags to while adventuring/going through Plot, as this fits with being general enough to work with my mediaeval-ish fantasy setting and story, while still in the spirit of it. Heres the original: https://www.tumblr.com/rainydaywhump/751678125911490560/thanks-for-the-tag-tagging-if-you-havent-already

Thanks for the tag @rainydaywhump! I've put this in its own post since it got long and this was from a while ago.

I have recently become incredibly unhinged about my ocs, or as I like to call them limited edition little guys (gender neutral) from my brain, that I’ve never mentioned anywhere before. So here! @silverstarfics behold.

Edvin

A bound notebook journal for their notes on magic research, ideas and all their stray thoughts. It’s practically falling apart these days, with loose extra pages shoved in everywhere and a cover made from a scrap piece of leather the only thing holding it together and protecting it. Edvin’s writing in it is getting progressively tinier and more difficult to decipher (their handwriting started off as bad enough as is) because they are worried about running out of space. They use charcoal pencils to write with as a bottle of ink would be too likely to get smashed in their pack.

Their cloak. Though they are near constantly wearing it, so mostly its technically not in their bag: 

Edvin has this cloak that they take with them everywhere and wear near constantly. its deep blue-purple of a night sky with stars on it. it started off as very obviously a mages cloak, a sign of authority and with a bit of mystique that strengthens that impression, clean and bright as it was fairly new and only worn by Edvin inside libraries, castles and the magic university district of the city. it was just a pretty normal, everyday thing for Edvin as a mage, but over time and adventures and hardship it becomes more and more of a comfort item. 

It’s confidence, when Edvin wears it to look more imposing and properly mage like and because the familiarity of it helps them stand up tall as they pretend they still know what they are doing. its comfort when they are ever so far from home and from the life they used to have and the person they were that they cant ever return to. As all gets further and further away the cloak is still with them.

Over the years, it becomes more and more worn, the fabric fading, holes and tears patched and sewn together and stains that wont come out such as from when Edvin bled all over it. they've put it together again, needle and thread in hand and clinging to it, because its the only thing holding Edvin together too.

At one point they took all the still conspicuous silver white stars off of the outside and resewed them on the inside, back into constellations, because it was too obvious and dangerous and a plain drab blueish cloak is easier to hide, but they couldn't bring themself to give them up.

It’s safety and it keeps off the cold when they are sickest from magic overuse, ever so lonely and feeling awful, lying curled up until they are hidden by it. with the hood pulled up, no one can see whether edvin is shivering or trembling from tears.

They do their best to keep high calorie and easy to eat food on them because using magic burns through energy like nothing else and it’s hard to eat when they are exhausted and have no appetite. It’s often something sweet if they can get it, carefully wrapped up like its precious, plus salty stuff because they need that and it keeps well.

Edvin keeps fairly light on with armour and weaponry as their magic is their most used defence but they have some. 

When they were a mage and a scholar before everything happened, they were definitely the person to carry around half of the giant library’s books in a bag that was straining at the seams. They had piles of research notes and ready access to paper and ink and never had to worry about it. Edvin had their cloak, but it was a largely unremarkable every day object to them. They loved the stars but they didn't really think about it much. It was near new with only a few tiny ink stains.

Val

Sewing and repairs kit, versatile enough to be applied to the tack for the horses, armour and weapons, clothing or what ever else is falling apart on the road this time. He made the extra leather cover for Edvin’s notebook for them.

Heavier duty armour and weapons as they still have it from when they were in training to become a knight and were allowed to keep it even when due to injuries that didn’t pan out. Val fights best from horseback so that is kept in mind. Despite being generally brash, loud and angry at the world, he takes patient, careful care of his gear because he knows how important it is to fighting well and surviving.

The rest of what he carries is mostly soldiers kit as that’s where he ended up for years as that was really the only place he could put his skills to use, fighting for whatever cause he was ordered to no matter that what he cares about most is defending and helping those who cannot fight themselves. He also has most of the gear needed to take care of the horses.

Matilda

She would definitely be the type to go out with whatever is in her pockets and nothing else if she could get away with it. She totally would wear her keys on a carabiner in a modern au.

Her weapons and armour are important to her as they are what allow her to fight, to walk into battle and be a powerful force in her own right. But she regularly gets frustrated by the upkeep needed to keep things in good condition and to prevent problems becoming serious before its unavoidable. While Edvin mentors her in magic, Val is most often the one who sits down at the end of the day with her to get across that you can’t run and fight without stopping all the time because the slower parts have just as much bearing on the battle as being right in the thick of it.

She doesn’t want to be weighed down by objects of her past, so doesn’t tend to hang onto things. She tells herself she doesn't need that comfort and only who she is now matters. When she left to join the fight, she left anything she didn’t strictly need in the moment behind to try to cut anything that tied her to that ordinary life and forge a path ahead as her own person.

Otherwise, all of them have packs, camping gear and general stuff needed out on campaign.

*Addendum because of course I have more to say. They all have some medical/first aid supplies, though Val has the most kit prepared, for people and the horses both. Matilda's healing magic skills are rough and ready but she might pull you back together through sheer stubbornness. Edvin's are far better technique-wise but that doesn't help if they are needing it because they've burnt out their energy reserves from magic.

All of them tend to pick up and carry around things to fidget with, from beaded bracelets made for it, a smooth stone found on the road or a small item to toss from hand to hand. Yes there is definite neurodivergency!

Tagging @idontknowreallywhy and @squiddokiddo as I know you have ocs plus anyone else who wants to talk about their limited edition little guys, I'd love to hear about them!

[ccycloneblogging]

I keep forgetting to ask my questions now is the present I guess-

Well 1, love your work! This AU is so cute and full of potential trauma it makes my mind flow with ideas... one of them being REALLY trauma heavy that has me in a vice grip rn...

So anyways- your post where you showed how in your AU catnap removed dogdays legs... were the murders of the hour in the same way? Because I just- Imagining Catnap dropping an anvil on some poor soul and them getting crushed slowly after the initial impact while catnap watches in apathy- has not left my mind. It's just Saw death traps at that point.

And about the whole "Going back to the cartoon" thing catnap wanted... would that not be suicide? A fully fledged, free thinking being going back to being with a world bound by a script and it's existence only continues if it's makers wish for it seem like killing yourself with extra steps. Again- this Au has so much Trauma potential I just HMMMMMMMMMMM-

And Oc's... well who do you want to hear about? I got a few lying around... well only 2 poppy playtime ones at the moment (and like one is kinda hard coded for another AU)... not to mention all the ones I have not drawn up yet that lie within my mind.

I would not mind another reason for William posting- but I'll let you choose!

Thanks, man! :D

You have no idea how much I've had to edit the scripts and drawings I make for the blog, because I go too dark too quickly for this toon AU.

I'm gonna go on a long ramble. Bear with me.

Like - there's this one script I still need to rewrite. But the premise is that Angel and DogDay are in Home Sweet Home, striking up a conversation - though Angel is injured.

Angel: ...Do you ever just... Stop? *[Angel eyes DD, as DD is in the process of sniffing like an actual dog, walking along the walls]* DD: What do you mean? *[He pauses to look at them, his tail wagging]* Angel: This. *[They gesture to his whole self, which causes him to finally fall on to the ground with a yip]* Angel: We're being hunted by a monster, close to death, and you're acting all... *Looney*. DD: That's what I do, Angel. I was brought here to make people feel happy. Safe. *[His tail begins to wag again as he makes his way to Angel]* Angel: Great. *[Unamused]* At least we'll die laughing. DD: You know, laughter is stronger than you'd think. *[A little "Uh-huh" from Angel.]* No matter how bad things get, you just have to laugh! Even if you feel like you've lost all hope, unsure about tomorrow... Not knowing what you did wrong, wondering how the world collapsed around you... *[DD grabs on to an ear, his smile turning more upsetting. The background getting darker. Maybe emphasize some of the in game model]* DD: Knowing that deep down, it's your fault for their deaths and already missing your chains because you deserve them --- *[He immediately switches back, sunshine and smiles]* DD: A laugh can chase away the gloom! Angel: *[Disturbed]* ...You want to talk about it, Pup?

So, they're all thoroughly traumatized, that's for sure!

I plan on drawing a comic that takes place during the Hour Of Joy, but yes. CatNap has killed some humans with falling anvils, endless pits, trapping them in repeating hallways until they go insane. Humans cannot survive the same punishment a toon takes, you know. >u>

But you know, he's not entirely heartless. Just angy. A poor lil meow meow

Oh, it's just CatNap being unable to cope, being ripped out of his comfort zone and never being able to adjust with the horrible things going on in Playcare. Though the Critters in this AU are not the same as the In-Game Bigger Bodies, there's still been human experiments. CatNap would much rather take scripts and limited freedom over what he was given... You are right though. That is one of the themes I wanted to try and hit with him. Especially if I follow through with an ending of Angel adopting the Critters. Then the aftermath of the trauma can really sink in.

My man, pal, friend.

I love OCs. The floor is yours. Send 'em in!

[haecien]

literature obssessed reader × author minghao

Come see the screening.... 🎥📷

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA??? Hello oh my god

Reader would definitely be a big fan of Minghao's works, they've collected almost every series that Minghao has published. Including special limited edition books other collectors would KILL for.

I have a feeling minghao would hide his face, sure he'd attend a few interviews but the interviewer would only be able to hear his voice, this was intentional ofcourse. Minghao wanted to go out in peace, he never wants interviewers and paparazzi to swarm him whenever he stepped out of his house. It's annoying to him. He only revealed his face to trusted individuals like his publisher. Other than that almost no one has seen his face, But there are times where he has almost gotten caught due to his distinctive voice, but he just argued that he has a similar voice and swear he isn't him.

Reader and Minghao would definitely run into each other by accident, of course reader doesn't know shit and thinks is just some random person they bumped into well... " What's the rush? " Minghao asks.

" Oh! Haha there is this book sale and they're featuring one of my favorite authors LIMITED edition book! It's the last one I need and I would do anything to complete my collection... Plus I really adore the author! He's such a good writer, his poetry books are also so good. "

Minghao's raised an eyebrow, he seems intrigued. " So, What's this authors name? " he leaned down and grabbed your bag which you've dropped. " OH! His name is Xu Minghao! But, now checking the time I don't think I can make it in time... My best bets is that the book has already been grabbed.... Awh man "

Minghao was a bit shocked to hear his name mentioned, he feels a bit bad so he proposed an offer " Oh Xu Minghao? I have some extras of his limited edition collection, Which one are you missing I could lend it to you. "

You were shocked since literally people would pay THOUSANDS for this, and hes giving this for free? Jesus christ is he your lord and savior or something. You tried to refuse but minghao didn't budge, eventually you gave up. " Im the reason why you're late, this is my apology. " You were touched how he was this considerate for a stranger you just so happend to bump into. " You never told me your name by the way? Hehe but my names y/n. " Minghao stood there thinking if he should tell you... " Oh uh, my name? Its Seo myungho. "

" Seo myungho? I see, nice to meet you Myungho! " you would not suspect a thing.

You both spent a lot of time after that, half of your conversations were about Minghao... on the inside minghao is giggling whenever you mentioned him, like. His cheeks got a bit red but you didnt notice it. You were too busy rambling about minghao, but if your conversations weren't about minghao you'd genuinely enjoy talking with "myungho " it was always the highlight of your day

I mean you did find out eventually! Haha in the most embarrassing way ever tho... you and "myungho" were talking and suddenly the topic of minghao was mentioned again and he said " Oh yeah I... " I? Haha ur fucked now minghao. Your eyes widened when he said this, you just connected the dots... Bye this is so embarrassing all this time you've been ranting about minghao to minghao

Minghao eventually came clean and he did confess it but, he made it very sure that you wouldn't tell ANYONE about it, well maybe also minghao had a tiny bit of feelings for you but thats beside the point... he trusted you enough to keep this a secret and you swore you'd take this secret to the grave.

Minghaos "little crush" never left tho! He waited awhile before confessing, like maybe 5 months... you were a bit oblivious to his feelings but eventually you started to catch feelings too... the confession was so sweet tho, he took quotes from your favorite book of his. And made a little love letter, you cried on the spot and hugged him so tightly.

(This ws suppose to be a drabble but its so long LMAOAO)

[angels--trumpet]

Trained through treats

I just spend like 4 minutes laughing at a tiktok and got an idea from it so here please enjoy 

Cw: 2714

NSFW

Gojo meets Yuji one day when he's messing around with his classmates and sneaking into a club. It's innocent fun, and frankly, it's kinda halrious to watch the boys' reaction to the new environment.

Not like he's doing anything tonight but wasting time anyway.

He's reminded of his own first time at a club with his best friend and feels twing of sadness in his gut. Gojo decides to watch over them just to make sure they don't do something incredibly stupid.

Yuji ends up sitting right beside him at the bar, looking right at him cheek resting on his fist, showing the softness of them before he opens his mouth.

"Your very handsom Oji-san" 

How Bold. 

Gojo plans to chuckle and brush him off but yuji is persistent. He's also very cute and he ends up somehow cuddling with Yuji after taking the first time of someone he met hours ago. That had given him a huge limited edition chocolate bar flavor he pulled out from his hoodie pocket for Gojo to eat right after.

It happenes again only a week later. Another chocolate bar shared between the two, kisses are sweet and blissful.

Yeah maybe not his best momment to be purring like a kitten eatting chocolate while Yuji napped on his chest and exchanged body heat.

Gojo tells himself not again, even when he leaves his number with Yuji  if he needs anything.

Then again the week after that, a different flavor of chocolate, this time it's white chocolate with a crunchy nuts mixed into it.

And the next and the next till Gojo already visits on the weekends each time (if he doesn't have a mission) without even being asked by Yuji to come over.

Gojo by now just calls Yuji his boyfriend, his name as "My little tiger 💖" on his phone that makes Yuji giggle, by now they have been out on dates that Gojo pays for in full because he can and he wants to spoil Yuji.

Gojo perks up confused and suddenly a bit hurt.

After this week's date, they lay down on Gojos' huge bed, and Yuji doesn't move to get the usual treat he gives Gojo each time they finish up.

"Where's my treat?" 

Yuiji looks at him, then grins, then laughs while Gojo whines to Yuji about his treat, asking him if he didn't do good enough this time and didn't earn it.

Gojo spirals as Yuji continues to laugh 

"Did I not do well enough? Do you give better treats to your other boy toys?" 

Yuji wheezes and pushes him down onto his back to kiss him. His mouth tastes sweet like chocolate. 

Yuji uses chocolate to train Gojo into his perfect boyfriend, and it ends up working out very well for him.

"You're the only boy toy, don't worry"

Extra bits!

Yes Gojo whines about Yuji training him like a dog with treats but also doesn't care because yay sweets after good yussy!

[blitany]

Joel and Ellie moments that wrecked me like a firefly hospital: finale edition

the recap intro just made it so clear that the whole story is them - it’s their evolution from strangers to “you’re cargo” to “it’s okay baby girl i got you”

Ellie is clearly still going through it and Joel knows (”you’re extra quiet today” when Ellie has never been quiet before) and he’s trying so hard to get her to smile!! The Chef Boyardee, the Boggle, asking her for silly puns - they’ve had enough time together to have real memories and moments to call back to with each other and he’s using all of it to bring the Ellie he knows back

how Joel asks her to hold the gun for him and trusts her to carry it! they’ve grown so much since we first met them, he knows she has his back and she can handle it and she always does

he’s just being so gentle and fatherly with her - he’s given protective dad energy for a while now but we finally get to see him being nurturing and encouraging and it’s so sweet because she needs it now more than ever

he wants to teach her guitar because he thinks she’d be good at it i - 

Ellie utterly dropping the ladder and ignoring what Joel asked her to do in such a classic father/daughter moment but Joel letting her get away with doing that and running off because he’s just happy to see her excited about something again

THE GIRAFFE SCENE!!! how she’s so excited to show him this beautiful view she spotted and this fascinating creature and she wants to share it with him?? everything about this scene is magical but can we talk about the way Joel looks at Ellie with just all of the love in the world? just gazing at her smiling, watching his daughter feed the giraffe and giggle and in that moment he knows he’d do anything for this girl

which is precisely what prompts him to suggest they just “go home.” back to Tommy’s place in Wyoming. he’s seeing all the beauty there, how new things have grown in the place of such devastation and his life is blossoming again, too. growing new connections and new hope. this family of giraffes is playing together on the horizon. why not just save the beautiful things? why not just let themselves enjoy it? he’s already seen her sacrifice so much - why not just let his little girl rest? doesn’t she deserve that? doesn’t he deserve that?

“i’ll follow you anywhere you go.” I’LL FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE YOU GO!!!

there’s so much said without them saying it: i’m not leaving you, i can’t leave you, i just want to keep you safe, i just want to make things better for you, i know you’ve lost people before but you won’t lose me

he’s talking about Sarah with her - all the things that were off limits before they can talk about now, they’re far from strangers and they just want to share these moments with the person they trust and love most in the world,,, if we want the reward of being loved with must subject ourselves to the terrifying ordeal of being known,,,

“it was me. i’m the guy that missed.” and how he says it not because he has to, but because he wants to tell her, he wants her to know, he wants to give her this thing he lived through so she can have a roadmap to surviving what she’s in the middle of 

how Ellie immediately sits down because she knows this is a Serious Talk Moment and she’s ready to listen

“i know why you’re telling me this.” “yeah i reckon you do.” they are so similar it hurts

“it wasn’t time that did it.” 

because it’s everything that isn’t said in this scene, maybe because they don’t know how to say it but both of them know it doesn’t need saying, not between them. how he looks at her - he’s telling her, it was you. how she understands - oh. wow. i didn’t realize. and maybe - you saved me, too. you saved me in ways i didn’t realize i needed saving. 

then how Joel gets choked up because he can see it in her eyes - he can see she knows what he means and maybe even that she feels the same way and that’s the moment that brings him to tears. he’s put his whole heart out there and she just accepts it. without words. 

when Joel immediately tries to lighten the mood because he’s a Dad and he’s grown emotionally but y’know, he’s still Joel - but they have a whole system now and he rates the puns omg 

of course the first thing he’s worried about when he wakes up is Ellie and of course the only thing she’s worried about is Joel

Marlene asks how they did it and “it was all her, she fought so hard to get here.” and she did and he’s so proud of her!! and it wasn’t just a fight to get to the hospital was it? it was a fight to get Joel to trust her, a fight to survive, a fight to find a family for herself and someone who could care about her but she fought so hard for both of them even when he was ready to give up, ready to send her off with Tommy to keep her safe or to make her leave him so his death wouldn’t lead to hers, she fought for them. 

that soft voice when the horror hits him. the brain. oh. oh god. not this. because he just got her and he can’t lose her, he cannot lose her, he will not lose her!!

“you don’t understand.” “i do. i’m the only one who understands.” but does she? you can feel that question in the silence. Joel wondering if Marlene can really understand when she’s only watched from afar? when she doesn’t know the value of a Will Livingston pun or the look on Ellie’s face when she’s feeding a giraffe or how she wants to go to the moon? how can she possibly understand what they’ve been through together, his face seems to ask. how can she know how they’ve saved each other time and time again?

forget Joel with David’s men. i thought that was the Joel that Tommy was afraid of. i was wrong. that wasn’t even a fraction of this Joel - this Joel who never stops once, who doesn’t even give them the chance, who goes after every single person in that building with no remorse, no pause. the Joel who is so terrifyingly focused on one single goal. saving Ellie.

he picks her up so tenderly, he makes sure her arm is covered, and then he carries her just like he carried Sarah. trying to save his baby girl at the end of the world. 

Marlene is trying to save the world, to create a better world - but if it’s a world without Ellie, it’s not a world Joel wants to live in. how could the world ever be better if she’s not in it?

“it’s okay, you’re with me.” the sequel to every look at me, it’s me. always reminding her that he is here and she is safe with him. he won’t let anyone hurt her, not if he can help it. and god help anyone who gets in his way.

he’s trying on their hike to lighten the mood again by talking about Sarah. cementing for him that Ellie is his daughter now, too. he can talk about both of them, and it’s like he’s trying to show her that she’s family to him now with the comparisons. but at the same time, ellie is hesitant. both because of the concern she harbors about the hospital and what really happened - but maybe too because this is just another reminder to her that she’ll never be Sarah. Joel will always be the only father and family she’s had. but he’ll always have had another daughter first - and if Sarah was still around, Ellie would never have Joel.

he’s lying, he’s lying to her and she knows it. that silence - she gave him one last chance to tell her the truth. she doesn’t know what happened, but she sure as hell knows Joel is keeping something from her. and my heart is breaking because all that stable bond they built - suddenly it’s shaky. 

[manonamora-if]

April Check-In

HI! I AM NOT DEAD I PROMISE, ANON!

Just... Ugh... It's been a stressful end of the month. I have not kept up with the weekly devlogs at all, partly because I had little to share each week, but also IRL was just too much. Head seems out of the water for now. Though I will be MIA for the rest of the week.

Onto the usual index:

Recap of last month’s progress

IF Events in the Next Month

Plan for the next month

Still long post under the break. If you want a mini version, head on over to itch.io as usual!

March Progress

From last month, what did we do:

Complete my French Comp entry. ✅ Not only did I write it all in less than two weeks (and it was full of typo that was so embarrassing), I also managed to...

Complete my SpringThing entry. ✅ Because that's the same game but in English.

Play more games! ✅Obviously having finished playing the Smoochie Jam AND all the French Comp game (quite a few good ones, voting was so hard), but also the SeedComp! and the Revival Jam (maybe?). The harvest of games for this month was bountiful!

Finish the Code Ch5 ❌ of Harcourt and edit Ch6 ✅

Finish fixing The Roads Not Taken. ❌

Things, it turns out... No, really...

Yay! Still managed to make a decent chunk of stuff.

Let's start with the bummer: still haven't fixed the borked games. Yeah... I really should sit down at some point and get down to it. BUT I did get some feedback for the Egg-game, and got extra code to fix the container issue. So... I just need to get to it.

Still haven't worked on coding on Harcourt, though I finished my part of the edits of Chapter 6. The file, full of comments, is back on his desk which... Well. Herm. MelS's computer just 💥(not like fire everywhere, but sudden forever black screen), corrupting about half of his data... which included his progress on that chapter and the endings. We've been working on getting his data back (tbh this project is the least of his worries, more important stuff is still gone), so hopefully we can get him back to editing and writing by next month (best case scenario). YEAH...

But before that happened, I managed to finish Les lettres du Docteur Jeangille for the French Comp, at the last possible minute yet again. I had the idea for month, but didn't start working on it until I was truly done with Teatime with a Vampire. It still managed to write over 15k words in 18-19th century French style (and full of typo because, only two weeks...) in essentially 1 and 1/2 week. EPISTOLARY STYLE game :D

After that was done, I got to play the Smoochie Jam and the French Comp games (it's on the IFDB), and started with the SeedComp entries (it's hidden because I'm the organiser). Lots of fun little game, some very sweet and humorous, some VERY DARK, some suuuper hot, and some that required a bit of noggins.

And halfway through the month, I sneaked a mini-parser game for the Revival Jam. I wanted to try my hand out with the old-style Speed-IF jams, that ran all the way back at the start of the century, which were just 2h long. TWO HOURS! No preparation, just you starting to code and stopping after 2hs. I tried my hand at Inform but... didn't have time to learn a whole new program and make my mini puzzle work in time. So I switched back to Adventuron, and managed to make something... in just over 2hs... I ended up Reviving old versions of the EctoComp instead (3h limit). Still it was fun to try to make a parser game in such short amount of time. It's called FIA: The Vacuum Cleaner, it will take you maybe 5min to play. And... it was so fun I kind of want to make basic micro-parser in that little universe. Some sort of multi-episode series where you have a small puzzle in front of you to solve. Like an intro to parser type of thing. Maybe in different parser programs? We will see. I might end up popping up here and there as tiny little games.

When THAT was done, I went back to work on the English translation of Jeangille, cutting it so close for the SpringThing deadline I thought I would not make it (for real, my files were sent at 23:58! I honestly don't think this was my bestest translation. It probably would have needed a few more rounds of polish and maybe some beta-readers but... :/ the computer explosion happened in the middle of all this so. I guess it was enough... I hope it was enough... But yay! I made it! No bug! Probably just typos! I didn't manage to make the cool animation tho...

AND I updated my website to add all of these juicy thingies!

AND AND! I was interviewed by the Rosebush Magazine last week!

So that was my month. We did good, we did bad, we are exhausted.

What’s happening in April?

Oh wow, already April. WHAT DO WE HAVE HAPPENING? So much, we have so much happening.

First off, we have competitions looking for voters:

Vous pouvez lire le français ? Venez jouer et voter pour les entrées du Concours de FI Francophone ! La date limite est le 4 avril.

Also on the 4th of April, is the deadline to vote for the SeedComp! (@seedcomp-if) games! You can find the forms here. We really really need voters!

The Spring Thing just released a new harvest of games (including meee :P ), and will open voting in a bit less than 2 weeks. Come play!

Looking to create some games instead?

The next @neointeractives jam just opened for submission! Come participate in the Dialogue Jam!

Looking to attempt creating a parser that is easy enough for beginners? Come check the Text Adventure Literacy Jam! You need a tutorial and 5 puzzles to solve!

If you want a deadline to finish your project, maybe check out : Finish Your Project Jam 2024

And for lovers: Amare Games Festival 2024

On the shorter side, and in May: Narrative Design Awards 2024 (ranked), 🔥 Fuck Capitalism Jam 2024 🔥 (unranked)

Interested in other IF events?

April 1st is Source Code Amnesty. Come share the code of your creations! (I've added a bunch of mine on Github today)

You can now register to attend the 2024 Edition of the Narrascope! IRL or Virtual, there are a lot of great talks this year!

We had so far 10 actual entries for the Interactive Fiction Showcase 2024 ! If you made something in 2024, consider showcasing it there too!

Note: @neointeractives will have jams all year long. One a month/or so. And the next Planting Round of @seedcomp-if will start as soon as the results are dropped.

The PLANtm for April

I, erm... should take it easy this month. But also, actually finish stuff, because the more I start, the more I have to fix/finish and it's becoming A LOT...

Play more games: I haven't covered the Revival Jam yet (I'm getting on it!) and the SpringThing has just started. So I have a lot of new treaties just for me! (And also that 2nd Rank is so close I can taste it!).

Finish the Code of Ch5 of Harcourt and edit the Ending Chapter: the latter should be easy since it is pretty short. The former... I just need to bite my tong and get to it! It should probably take me a day to code those last passages...

Finish fixing The Roads Not Taken. Or An Eggcellent Preparation. Maybe the other parser too (it just needs a smidge of polish).

Complete the TALJ entry. The deadline is at the end of the month. I already have the basic structure. I need: a tutorial, commands to actually make the game work. And words. So many words. (Did I mention here I'm making a maze?)

I think that's good. I'm trying REALLY HARD not to tack on another Neo-Interactives entry (we're doing dialogues and I LOVE THOSE). But I WILL TRY MY BEST TO KEEP IT FOCUSED ON THE CURRENT PROJECTS!

~

The 2024 To-Do List:

LOL, I've only done the website! :D

The hopefully maybe easy to handle To-Do:

fix the bugs in EDOC + overall the French version to match (waiting for Adventuron to get the French language)

fix the bugs of TRNT + find a way to add the missing pieces (giving up on the translation)

fixing the interface of LPM and the popups + check animal interactions

figure out the One-Button JavaScrip/jQuery issue...

edit the loading screens of the completed tiny games to include the program/format logo at least.

The 'Need a Bunch of Content to update but it's planned!' To-Do:

Update my website (bunch new title - also I don't think the logo clicky thing work...) + redo my itch page

Finish TTATEH (MelS dependent - this year should be it - for real)

Finish Exquisite Cadaver (half-way mark by this summer - manif)

Finish P-Rix - Space Trucker (main path at least)

Update CRWL (it's been almost two years... I'm getting ashamed)

The Unlikely But it Would be Dope To-Do

Finish The Dinner as it was planned (and translate)

Finish In the Blink of an Eye as it was planned (and retranslate)

Finish The Rye in the Dark City

Fixing TTTT (at least fixing, maybe try adding some storylets)

And finally The 'It's impossible, but one can wish' TO-DO:

Remaster SPS IH (if I managed to start this after completing the rest... I'm going to eat a whole sheet cake).

Start the IFComp project (2025? Might end up being a ST?)

[floweredana]

I'm starting the an edited abc diet! the pic above is the original abc diet.

this one adds a 25% more of the original. it isn't a huge difference but i think it leaves room for more flexibility. i will still do my best to stay to the original calorie amount, the extra is mostly just in case somebody wants me to eat more. id rather eat 50 extra kcals for a day than 600 for a month.

anyways! rules for this.

2,000-8,000 steps per day. i don't have a fitbit so i have to manually count it, so i usually get extra because i always would be rather go lower than higher. 😭

2-3Liters of water.

beyond walks and running, workout 2 days a time for 20+ minutes 4 days a week. none on Wednesday or Thursday ( as both are really exhausting days so i usually burn enough calories for the equivalent of what i would for a the workouts ), and an extra day. any fasting days i don't have to workout or walk at all to make sure i dont go weak.

if there are any moments where you go above calorie limit, burn at least 2-3 times the amount you are over. e.g. 600 kals eaten on a 500 kal limit, burn 200-300 kals.

focus on high protein, minimal carbs, and average fat intake. also high fiber and whole foods in general.

i have a gluten intolerance so no gluten for me 👍

intermittent fasting, between 18 fasting hours and 6 eating hours, or 16 fasting hours and 8 eating hours, depending on the day.

I'm on my womb shedding week (yes I still have it :[) and that makes things wayyy harder because there's so many cravings. so i gave myself. luckily (hopefully) ill be finished soon.

most pictures will probably be in the morning lol. that's when i remember most.

started eating at 12:30pm.

a rice cake with a tbps of garden vegetable cream cheese and two slices of roast beef cuz i ran out of turkey, and a cup of green tea.

kals : 130 carbs : 9.8g protein : 9.6g fat : 5.2g

i went on a 25 minute walk and got 2,000 steps in.

didn't take a picture

French toast with gluten free bread.

kals : 140 carbs : 26g protein : 2.0g fat : 3.0g

didn't take a picture

chocolate chips.

kal : 80 carbs : 9.0g protein : 1.5g fat : 4.5g

didn't take picture

pinto beans, cooked, with gluten free cornbread.

kal : 146 carbs : 27.4g protein : 5.6.g fat : 1.6g

wanted something sweet so i ate half a bag of bluey fruit snacks. didn't take a picture TT

kals : 40 carbs : 9.5g protein : 0.0g fat : 0.0g

before my eating period ended at 6:30pm i drank half a bottle of protein because my protein levels werent high enough for me.

kal : 80 carbs : 2.5g protein 15.0g fat : 1.5g

in total ;

kal 616 carbs : 84/88g protein : 33/35g fat : 16/23g

was supposed to post this yesterday! turns out i saved it as a draft and didn't post it 😕

[protags-fic-blog]

hiii! if you’re taking requests for headcanons, how about the Amnesia guys + what their ideal date would be?

i'm pretty much always open!! (sorry for not having that explicitly available, work in progress). originally i was going to do small drabbles, which led to formatting problems, which led to me experiencing the joys of tumblr posts not having an edit history, so the only one left is ikki's, linked by his name. thanks so much for requesting though, i hope you like it!

———

Amnesia Memories - Ideal Date

Shin

he's more in to active and exciting dates. biking, boating, hiking, he prefers that over staying in and reading a book.

if you've seen 10 things I hate about you, you'll know what scene I'm talking about, but there's a paintball date in that movie and i can see that being right up his alley.

definitely not afraid of getting competitive with you

Toma

exact opposite of Shin. does not enjoy getting competitive against you, so if you ever do anything, you're always on the same team. he prefers to see you as a unified front at all times, but he'll make some exceptions.

prefers calmer dates where there's no pressure to do anything big (it's not that he won't though!). but sometimes all he needs is just to spend time in the same room, even if you're doing two totally different things.

he definitely still has the worry of being seen as a brother in his mind so while he won’t ask for anything big, it can’t ever hurt to surprise him

Kent

this man likes museums

and walks

no concept of what counts as romantic so there is a very low chance you’ll be taking sunset walks because of ‘the limited visibility’

no ideal date, he just wants to have a good day. he knows perfection is unobtainable, but he will have a favorite to look back on

can you tell that i struggle with kent

Ikki - an ideal date drabble

thinks Kent is silly for not having an ideal but you do you I guess

his ideal is the stuff you see in movies. he likes for dates to be romantic and sweet just because of his problem with other girls. he wants you to feel special no matter what

expensive dates if you’re in public. usually large amounts of money come with extra privacy anyway. personal headcanon is that he was definitely raised in upper class (lives alone at 22 in a GOOD apartment, wears formal attire every day, you aren’t telling me that college debt + rent/mortgage are affordable on his minimum wage ass unless he’s got some financial backers)

those who have seen twilight will know of the Bella Italia scene. It’s that. That’s y’all.

Ukyo

Loves picnic lunches so much

he doesn't have low standards he just thinks that everything is always perfect

quiet, secluded, just the two of you in a place only you know about. definitely likes going back to important places in your relationship

[spotsandsocks]

Oh what is the Random fic idea about 👀👀

You know I don’t even know the answer to that… let’s find out together 👀

Well turns out it was just a few lines I got in my head for Kel’s @hoodie-buck birthday enemies to lovers fic that didn’t work out for the story but I liked so I kept it… and now I’ve added a bit of extra to it cos I got carried away when re reading …bit saucy too with limited editing and punctuation…you have been warned ♥️ I had fun giving this a bit of a shine so thanks Rae for asking 😍

You think you could handle it?

Buck breaths deeply, a light in his eye

Yes

Eddie steps back “Well I have no intention of being another notch in your bedpost, or an entry in your little black book. Or a swipe on tinder .” He thinks that’s a real thing.

The smirk on that pretty mouth annoys him and sparks something low in his gut at the same time.

“Technically it would be grinder.”

Fuck Eddie wants to…. He’s not actually sure, so he just says “See brat.”

Buck steps closer a look on his face Eddie can admit he wants to wipe away, preferably with a kiss.

“I can be good”

Buck’s staring at his mouth a tantalising glimpse oh pink tongue as he bits down on it looking so fucking hot it’s infuriating. Eddie steps closer, there’s not much difference in their heights so they’re nose to nose.

Eddie’s speaks and thinks is that his voice? He almost doesn’t recognise it, it’s low and breathless.

“I bet you can. Do just as you’re told wouldn’t you?”

Bucks lips part, pupils blown. Such a pretty blue. The moment lingers another second before Eddie manages to pull himself together.

“Still that not my thing, one night stands.” He steps away before he can’t and walks towards the door. Despite his decision to run from this confusing sweet aggravating handsome idiot. He calls back over his shoulder.

“Not gonna be your next conquest buck even if you have got the most fuckable mouth I’ve ever seen.”

[kaiowut99]

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters GX Episodes 95 and 96 Subbed (Finalized)

(Previously: Episodes 93 and 94 Subbed [Finalized])

(Check out my Subbed!GX Stream Masterpost!)

TURN-95: A Ruthless Brotherly Duel -- Ryou VS Shou

Wishing for his kind and respectable brother to be himself again, Shou challenges the Hell Kaiser to a duel. But a callous Ryou conditions it on having a duel in which an electric current will rush through them with every drop in their Life Points. And so, a brotherly duel begins between Ryou and Shou. Shou does develop his dueling--respecting his opponent as always--but Ryou pounces on him, in full command of the Cyber Style's Reverse deck.

TURN-96: The Relativity Field! Judai VS the Genius Doctor

In order to take back one of his important keys, a Saiou struck by the Waves of Light once again sends in an assassin against Judai. The assassin is Zweinstein, a genius physics expert with a deck made logically--Judai's weakest point of all. Zweinstein activates his Relativity Field to start things off. He then summons* a Monster that negates Judai's Fusion, his forte, gaining an edge as the duel unfolds. *This is referencing Singularity Demon's effect in the episode, but he doesn't actually summon it; it's more of a hand-trap he discards to negate Fusion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Got my subs for episodes 95 and 96 all nice and finalized!

These two episodes are a great time, but 95 in particular is great. It's the culmination of those little bits we've had of Shou observing Ryou's fall from grace since his loss to Ed, knowing he'd face him one day and preparing himself for it, and the whole time they're dueling, he holds onto some hope that he can turn Ryou back into the big brother he knew--only to realize by the end that Ryou, after what he's seen underground, really is just focused on winning, willing to be as "cruel" or "foul" as it takes if it helps. You do feel for the little guy, moreso when this gets flashed back to in 137 during Season 3 (another favorite, as it's a big development episode for Shou). Also, Judai being a friend and watching over him knowing this was his choice to make, building him up about using Power Bond, rushing over once the duel's over--it's sweet.

96 is also one of my favorites because of the good art/dynamic animation, courtesy of Kyoung Soo Lee's animation team (especially those last few scenes after Judai destroys Relativity Field, but just the Solid Vision putting them in space the entire time). The premise isn't too bad, we check in with Misawa who's realizing that just joining the Society of Light isn't enough for him to make a name for himself, and he bumps into God Einstein Zweinstein who tells him that logic beats "coincidence," before he tries to convey this to Judai and prove his Grand Unified Duel Theory. I like the Dueling Physics idea and the Einstein parody (he won a Nobelly Prize!), and the match between his logic and Judai's intuition--and who doesn't enjoy the randomness of Misawa's extra Eureka moment, lmao. Still a bit meh on it being the last we see of him for a while, but it is nice seeing him when he does come back. (Also, I like how it's not at all mentioned how Ojin managed to get a recording of Chronos calling for Judai to trick him with... very GX lol)

Edit-wise, both episodes had a fair amount of animation error fixes I applied; 95 saw more card-related errors than the quick one in 96, while both had a fair share of more quality-of-watching ones with split-screens, incomplete footage frames, or miscolorings (and in Burstlady's case, another missing shoulder strap). Due to Tumblr’s dumb link limit in posts yeeting them out of the tags used for them and limiting their reach, and since I still wanted a visual element to it, I’ve made a separate post here with my usual fix/edit breakdown for the interested--altogether, that's about 26 between both episodes, which I think I hit sometime in S1 when doing double-releases for a bit, but since most were quality-of-watching things, they were pretty quick to work on for the most part.

Anywho, enjoy! Looking forward to revisiting 97 and 98 next as we circle back to the Pro Leagues and get Ed's best episode of the Season in the process; as Judai put it in 96's preview for 97, "Ed's Wheel of Fortune'll suddenly start to turn..."