#had an exchange with someone very important to me that helped me work up the moxie necessary to get over my anxiety and post some of these

[sincerely-sofie]

*skitters up to you on all fours with a bunch of drawings in my mouth* *drops them at your feet* *skitters away*

enjoy some schizophrenia / psychosis / mental health-based humor.

[wh1msic4alwasab1]

"𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐫"

synopsis: Your boyfriend, Aventurine, gets drunk and ruins an important event for your other boyfriend, Veritas, and he pays the price while you receive an award.

tags: threesome, cuckholding(?), overstimulation, rough, vulgar, degradation, praise, bondage, toys

wrd cnt: 1.1k

a/n: screaming wish it was me :(

The business party you attended on behave of your partners had been long and tiring, but finally, you were all back home in your comfortable penthouse. As the doors closed behind you, the tension in the air was palpable, and the ride in the car was the worst. Aventurine had….misbehaved, at the party, causing quite a scene and embarrassing both you and Dr. Ratio in front of their colleagues.

“You were supposed to behave tonight, Aventurine,” Dr. Ratio's voice was cold and filled with disappointment as he approached the coat rack.

“But...but I couldn't help it. The champagne was just so good and everyone was having such a good time,” he tried to explain, but Veritas expression didn't soften.

“You know the rules. Misbehaving has consequences, this was an especially important night for my project” he said, their tone leaving no room for argument. Aventurine's eyes widened as they realized what was coming.

Meanwhile, you stood to the side, watching the exchange with a mix of arousal and concern. You knew what was about to happen, and you couldn't deny the thrill that coursed through your veins. But at the same time, you couldn't help but worry for Aventurine.

“Hey- what are you doing….” Your blonde lover spouted, “Y/n…help meee, he’s being so- hiccup so mean”.

“Y/n, unlike you, knows to behave when she needs to. If only you were more like her.” Your other boyfriend says, as he sits Aventurine down on the a chair, his languid body wobbling from his intoxication.

Aventurine's voice trembled in fear and anticipation. “Okay- I’m sorry, but what is this for”

Without another word, Dr. Ratio marched over to a nearby shelf and picked up a small remote. He had tied up the drunk man well, hands behind his back and legs spread apart, an attachment on his crotch.

He pressed a button, and a loud buzzing noise filled the room. You recognized it as the sound of a vibrator.

“Since you couldn't behave in public, you'll have to behave here,” Dr. Ratio replied coldly as they approached Aventurine with the remote in hand. “You can enjoy the sensation while you watch me take care of someone else who can follow the rules.”

Your breath caught in your throat as Dr. Ratio turned to you and pulled you into a passionate kiss. His lips were demanding and possessive as his hands roamed your body, reminding you that you belonged to him right now, him alone. You moaned into the kiss, eagerly responding to his warm touch.

You felt Aventurine's eyes on you, and you opened your eyes to see him staring at you with a mix of arousal, jealousy, and frustration. He were visibly straining against their restraints as the vibrator worked its magic on his cock.

“Are you ready for a reward?” Dr. Ratio asked you, breaking the kiss and turning to Aventurine. He ran a hand down your body and reached between your legs, finding you already wet with desire. 

'Yes, Veritas- ,' you moaned, feeling Aventurine's eyes on you as Dr. Ratio's fingers danced over your clit.

“Very good,” Dr. Ratio said, his voice full of satisfaction as he pushed you down onto the couch infront of your tortured other.

Slowly, he’d remove your shirt, squeezing your tits before taking your bra off. Mouth clasped onto your nipple, he’d give Aventurine some glances, smiling against your skin every now and then as he watched his legs start shaking.

Once your panties were off, Veritas picked you up, and held you against his chest, opening your legs and letting Aventurine get a look at your glistening cunt, getting rubbed and fingered by Veritas.

You held onto him tight, moaning breathlessly as he prepared your hole, whispering dirty things in your ear from behind.

“Feels good baby? You’re so wet already, look at our little mut over there…He’s already came twice it seems.”

He chuckled, kissing the nape of your neck as he feels his cock almost rip the seems of his pants under you.

“Fuck- Can you just….Im so- so sorry please Veritas…”

With Aventurines pleas, your lover only laughed.

He flipped you over on your back to the cushion, spreading your legs as he takes his cock out; slapping your wet pussy with the tip.

“Mmm- fuck…you’re such a good girl, you really deserve this. Unlike some people.”

You gasped when you felt the tip go inside, and after every inch after that.

Veritas was gentle in preparing you, but not gentle when fucking you, especially with all his anger for your other boyfriend. He gripped your waist hard, and thrusted into you so deep, you practically screamed his name.

He snapped at Aventurine, who’s now fully in tears from overstimulating, cumming his brains out and watching you get fucked like you’re doing the same.

“Look at you…Pathetic. You could have taken her other hole but you just had to be an idiot.”

Aventurine watched with a mix of arousal and torturous anguish as Ratio fucked you, making you writhe with pleasure.

The room was filled with the sounds of your moans and the buzzing of the vibrator. Aventurine's eyes were locked on you, his own cock straining against the vibrator as he was forced to watch.

You look at Aventurine, taking small glances of his cock covered in his own cum.

“Don’t look at him, he can’t save you, or himself.” Veritas said, grabbing your face and making you look at him. 

You cried out in pleasure as he pounded into you. You were lost in the bliss of his touch, and Aventurines eyes locked onto your body made everything so much more pleasurable; watching his leaky cock. 

Dr. Ratio's pace quickened, and soon you were both teetering on the edge of ecstasy. With one final, powerful thrust, he sent you both over the edge, your bodies shaking with pleasure. He filled you up to the brim, so much cum oozing out of your hole.

Veritas picked you up quickly, and held your back against his chest, opening your legs and carrying them infront of Aventurine; still strapped to the chair but now recovering as Ratio finally retired the vibrator.

He tries to catch his breathe, looking up to see your spread apart cunt in his face, carried by Veritas.

“Clean her up. It’s all you’re getting tonight.”

With hunger, your starved boyfriend took your cunt into his mouth, hands still behind him as he pushed his face into you, tongue cleaning up Veritas’ mess.

[riizebabie444]

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 🌸

🌸 ─── hey all here is a romantic reading to get in the mood for the spring! this reading will look into who your person is (so think carefully about your person) and what they love or will love about you. as always, enjoy!

🌸 ─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

🌸 ─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

🌸 ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

pile one

who is your person

cards: emperor rv, nine of pentacles, three of swords

honestly pile one your person is coming across like an ex or an old flame. it seem to me that you have shyed away from each other. if you do not have an ex that you are thinking of, it could be someone you meet in the future but you will separate somehow. they will be a very important lover in your life. this person, you or the relationship with them could be immature, generally speaking. you both weren't ready for it. there may have been committment issues or loyalty issues. honestly, i'm thinking you or this person is still hung up on the relationship, or both of you could feel this way.

i do not see this person as your life partner, but the relationship you had with them is an important one in your life. i'm also seeing them as the one that got away. the person who seemed perfect but it still somehow ended with heartache. i also think that for a small number of you, this could be someone from you past who you did not have a romantic relationship with, but there are still romantic feelings involved. overall, this is definitely someone from the past, or someone who will become your past. there is betrayal and hurt here. it didn't end on great terms, but the connection (beginning, during and end) hold significance in your life

could be an ex or someone from you past, someone you may have parted with recently. could also be someone from you past that you have not been romantically involved with or attracted to, however, they do have romantic feelings towards you.

whart do they love about you

cards: two of cups rv, nine of cups, ten of wands rv

they love the essence of you, your true and authentic version. you're not like anyone they've known or been with. you learned how to love yourself even when you didn't want to. they struggled to feel the same way for themselves so they knew you were someone special, someone they could learn from. however, they weren't mature enough to do the same, they could only watch and wish it could be them. they admire you in that way, you can pick yourself up, whereas they need others to help them up when they're down. they honestly compare themselves to you a lot.

nine of cups came up and again, it's making me think of "the one that got away." i think you are perfect in their eyes. they believe you are the perfect person to have a serious, long term relationship with. maybe even marriage. but it didn't work out and they have a hard time getting over it because they know it will be almost impossible to find someone as perfect again. they love how content you are in any situation, you can always see the good things. they often wonder how you can be so content and abundant, without realising that only a small mindset shift can allow them to feel the same. except, they are not ready to grow up in that aspect.

they also love your ability to multi-task. you can juggle so many things at once. even if you feel overwhelmed, you don't show it. when i think about how this person loves you, it's more that you are someone they look up to, someone they wish they could be more akin to. kind of like a role model, and they expected to much while at the same time did not fulfil expectations placed on them. i think they realised they hindered your progress, so they loved that you still chose them and loved them back, at least while it lasted. you can be soemone who tries to do too much all by yourself. although they cared about you, they still loved this about you. they loved that you don't give up, that you're confident you can do all these things. they love all these incredible aspects of you, but in the end the love they gave you didn't express those deeper and truer feelings of their love for you.

pile two

who is your person

cards: high priestess, two of swords, king of pentacles

instantly i am seeing you know who this person is. so if you are asking about a current partner, this reading is about them. if you're asking about your future spouse, this reading will be about them. whoever you had in mind while choosing this reading, it will likely be about them. this is a person who is spiritually enlightening, they show you how to grow, to see the world in a new way. they have a rich inner world and you will feel honoured to have them share it with you.

i do see future spouse for pile two, but i do not think marriage is the necessity for all who chose pile two. it's likely this person will be a serious, long term partner. ultimately, someone who you settle down with for a significant period of your life. they are someone who seeks harmony above all. they don't like chaotic and uneasy situations. even in a relationship, they work on maintaining the peace. they hate arguing. they are very balanced and make decisions carefully. they seem smart both emotionally and intellectually. they have a good balance. they also seem abundant and successful. they are a good provider and they have ambitions they want to share with you.

what do they love

cards: ace of cups, the magician, eight of cups

they love that you are their best friend. i'm seeing friends to lovers here for most of you. it could indicate your person being a childhood friend, or it could be someone you meet in the future who you will be friends with first before exploring anything romantic with them. you are like a good omen to them. i'm seeing that good things happen to them when they are around you more. they think of you like their lucky charm. you spread joy in their life and bring triumph to them. they love how happy and at peace it feels with you.

you could be a particularly energetic person. if not, maybe around them you have more energy or they get so excited when around you. you're like a mood booster for them. honestly pile two your person feels so adorable, they love everything about you! they would always find something new to love about you. if manifestation is a big thing in your life, i'm definitely seeing that they love those powers you have. they love that they can share it with you. they love how creative you are, you can make the most from anything. you always find a way out. i think you may have left something big and important behind when moving through life, and they admire the strength you had to do that. they love that you can let go when necessary, how you always know when to face you fears but also when it's not worth facing them, but to instead leave them behind and grow into a new person.

pile three

who is your person

cards: king of wands, ace of pentacles, five of cups

this feels like a spouse, if you are asking about a current or future spouse. he also feels quite masculine. it could also be a boyfriend or partner who radiates a lot of masculinity. this person is not so concerned with creativity and compassion. he may be a proud person, stubborn also. but he is a good leader. he works well in a team and is empowering to others, often without realising. this person is a doer, he is action oriented. while he may be creative in the way that he makes things or makes things happen, i mean he isn't creative in the sense that he is concerned about hobbies etc. like, his hobbies centre around consuming rather than creating.

i think this is someone you will meet or have met through career, finance or anything work related. maybe not all of you, some could also meet them through friends and family, or online even. he is financially well-off. tends to have stable relationships but most of the time, relationships are not his priority, the work is. deep down your person has a lot of sadness, loneliness, despair even. they have achieved a lot in life, mostly in terms of career or money. but they do have regrets and disappointments. they have things they need to forgive themselves for.

what do they love about you

cards: six of wands, queen of cups, seven of cups

oh they see you as the prize. like, i'm lowkey getting playboy vibes from this person but it's not strong. some of you may be dealing with an extreme playboy, while others may be dealing with a normal guy just with committal issues. but in terms of them approaching you and being with you, it's making me feel like you are the catch and they caught you. and they feel even more successful in life when they are with you. they like to show you off and i'm seeing...if you like being showed off, they will love it. and if you're shy about being shown off, they will still love it becuase they find you so cute. you will be an achievement or milestone to them, and they will love that you are this person for them. someone that can make them feel fulfilled in their unique way.

they love how self-confident you are and although i see some of you have confidence issues, they will still love it because they can relate. i think you will bring them down from a high horse, your humilty and down to earth-ness will give them a new perspective and they will love that you of all people did that for them. they love your compassion and sympathy, your authenticity. how you can be real when they can't. i'm seeing they also love how you embrace them. they daydream about being in your arms. they love how dreamy you are, they think you're ethereal. like, i'm literally seeing you are the person everyone wants to wife/husband up. so when they get you, you can bet they are over the moon. though, you may be a little detached from reality, a hopeless romantic, obsessed with the ideas in your head. it is the complete opposite to them as you are a dreamer and they are a doer. but ther still love it about you. they inspire you and sometimes force you to make something of your goals and ambitions, but they also love that you are on your own path even if it is different.

pile four

who is your person

cards: page of cups, knight of swords rv, the devil rv

i have a feeling that this will be a long term partner or even a spouse, but for some of you it could be someone you meet randomly. you will meet this person out of the blue, and the relationship or love you have with them will be completely unexpected. this is someone who will change you life massively. this connection will be based on intellectual compatibility which may be why you seem so drawn to them in the beginning, and also why this relationship grows deeper without you expecting it to. it will be a very strong bond, but i do see communication issues happening nonetheless.

honestly, for some this could be a person you break up with, or it may possibly end in divorce. for some, this could even be about a current partner but you are thinking about or are on the verge of breaking up. while this this person can inspire much love and many emotions regarding the connection you share, i am indeed seeing negative emotional patterns. so separating from them will break you free from their bad habits. hm i see maybe you could be the one with bad habits, and they are stepping away from you. there are many options with this pile. honestly, while your person seems life they are a long term or serious partner, they are not your person for life. they still love you, but it doesn't feel like a strong or healthy kind of love. so although you may be blinded by love or in a honeymoon phase etc (or this could be you and your person in the future) there is a lot of careless choices made, and lots of forgiving for things that shouldn't be forgiven. you person seems like a strongly emotional, smart person. but they're not the right one for you, i am seeing.

what do they love about you

cards: ten of wands, ace of swords, ace of cups rv

so despite the above descriptions of you person, they do still hold love for you. they love many things about you. i'm seeing that this person feels or knows they are a burden to you, but they love that you still love them anyway. for some it is that gratitude for your unconditional love, even when they're not in the best position. but for others, i do think it is felt more in a negative way. they love you because they know you still love them no matter the way they treat you. they know you won't leave or establish the standards you want in a relationship because you love them either way. i didn't get messages like this one for the other piles, but i am hearing that you really need to examine your lifestyle, if loving them is or will be worth it. they like how responsible you are. it's refreshing compared to their immaturity and carelessness.

okay they also like that you are intellectual, i see a stimulating mental bond. you always find a way to break through problems, even if the pass to success is challenging you make it through. they love your ideas. you could have random thoughts and tell them about it and they find it so odd but so cute and endearing. they love being the one you tell those things to. i'm honestly seeing jobs, projects, work etc. it's not clear exactly how they love those things about you, maybe they love your job, seeing you work, you could be successful at work or in other projects. they love seeing you succeed but i do also see some being insecure and jealous. and others possibly leeching from your hard work. it truly does feel magical with you, they understand your value. but again, there is another message here to focus on your wellbeing. you are repressing emotions and avoiding self love and care in favour of this person and relationship. i'm trying to explain what your person loves about you but all i'm hearing is that you deserve better, make from that what you will.

pile five

who is your person

cards: the artist rv, eight of cups, queen of pentacles

this person could be a creator or a naturally creative person, but they have blockages. their intuition is a mess. they may be or feel disconnected from the world or reality. this is definitely a partner, i'm seeing a current person. if you are asking about your future spouse, this could be the energy they are currently experiencing. they're kind of in a slump right now. but whoever they are, they are working hard to be financially stable. they have abandonment issues. they need a change in perspective, something new and fresh in life.

i see that they are someone who can focus on nurturing, they want to provide for others, and they will get to that point. oh, i'm seeing that their most evolved self will be a provider, a hard worker. not necessarily successful but they work hard and have a warm, generous personality. they would do anything for the people they love. but right now, they're in a rut, so their energy is a little difficult to pick up. they are so caring, and they learn to also care for themselves which they have not always done in the past. i also see they are very talented. they are such a family person, responsible and accountable. i'm really feeling this person will have a mental, spiritual, emotional glow up. when you meet them/this version of them, they will be so down to earth and warm.

what do they love about you

cards: the fool, seven of swords rv, six of swords rv

oh god when i tell you they feel like a fool in love for you. in the past i think they did not believe in a love like this. they thought love, marriage, family is an obligation. they didn't prepare for those things out of a deep desire for it. sure, they wanted love. but it was more because of society or their family telling them it is their duty to have a family or wishing for them to find love one day. so they don't really know what to expect. i'm seeing you could be their first love, first relationship or first person they will ever really love like this. whether you last forever or not, you for sure are this person's forever love. when they meet you and begin dating you, it is like stepping into a whole new world for them. the relationship you have will be a turning point for them. if you are already with them, then your relationship will take a turning point when they go through these personal changes. they have issues from the past but i'm seeing they love you because you understand them, are empathetic of their past, and their mistakes.

i think they may have a dark secret or a mistake from the past. this somehow has a lot to do with their love for you. maybe you forgave them for a mistake, or they trusted you to tell you their secret. it's this kind of thing that makes them love you so much. someone to lean on and trust after a life time of not being able to trust. i think they have tried so many times to change, to make circumstances different or better but it has not worked. but suddenly with you, everything changes for the better. they love that you were their lucky charm, you give them the motivation to keep going. you inspire them so much that even if the future brings troubles, they will jump ahead anyway instead of giving up or being anxious about the future. like, literally turned into a fearless fool because of the love they have for you. they love you so much because they've never had a person like you before who can make them feel this way.

© riizebabie444 — all rights reserved. please do not copy, steal, repost or translate my readings on any site. any act of which will be classed as plagiarism.

[nathaslosthershit]

Long Distance (LN4)

Summary: Long distance relationships are hard, especially when they both have very time consuming careers

Warnings; Angst (a whole lot), no happy ending in this part (will happen in pt 2)

Request: hi!! requesting a lando norris x female uni!reader if possible reader being a medical student or a one of the engineers on the paddock 🧍🏻‍♀️

Lando wasn’t known for being the smartest on the grid. He, like many other drivers, had only a few years of school to his name. But that still hadn’t stopped him from being able to somehow ‘woo’ a woman quite the opposite. 

His girlfriend was currently in her last year of medical school. While he was unbelievably proud of how far she had come, the difficulties of long distance have gotten to both of them, and there wasn’t much hope once she graduated and was off to a medical training program. With her studying for finals and Lando being off to a new country every two weeks for Grand Prixs, their relationship has been rocky to say the least.

Constant lack of communication and missing each other's calls had led them to have tons of unspoken dialogue. Each unanswered call created the smallest bit of resentment that just continued to grow and grow. 

No more sweet ‘goodmorning’ or ‘goodnight’ texts, no more wishing her well before a big test, no more sending ‘good luck baby!’ before qualifying. Just a few ‘how are you doing?’ and other bland messages you’d send to a coworker, not your significant other. 

After weeks of little communication, they had finally scheduled a ‘zoom date’. Not particularly the most romantic date they had been on, but it's the best they could do with their schedules. Lando called in late at night for him while his girlfriend had a lunch break in between labs. Time zones be damned.

Lando was 25 minutes late leaving only 35 minutes to actually talk to one another.

Her wifi was spotty so it kept freezing.

Finally, with only 5 minutes left, Lando decided to make a joke that there is no reason for her to continue going to labs, as he would be happy to be her ‘sugar daddy’. This was not very well received by his girlfriend, who responded with a quick “fuck you” and hung up early.

Lando was joking, a bit. He loved his girlfriend and saw a future with her, he just couldn’t stand long distance and any job in the medical field was bound to take up most of your time. He wanted her, but he also wanted someone who could be by his side on race day. That just wasn’t something that was possibly currently. 

He supported her. He loved to brag about how smart she was and how she was so dedicated to helping people. But that came with setbacks.

After a quick message from Lando (‘I was kidding darling. You know how proud I am of you. Lighten up a little, yeah?’), which she ignored, she was off to her labs in a worse mood than before. Things couldn’t go on like this. 

He hadn’t heard from her in three days. His “how are you, love?” and “Miss you lots. Hope your class is going better than my neck training :(“ went unanswered. She knew she was being petty, but maybe a relationship was just too hard for her life currently. 

After three long and stressful days of silence, she called him. With no message asking what she needed to speak about, Lando feared he already knew.

“We can’t keep doing this” She said after they quickly exchanged a ‘hi, how are you?’ ‘I'm good, how are you?’. 

“Baby, I told you it was just a-”

“I know that Lando! It's just that this isn’t the first time you have mentioned me quitting my career to be your housewife or whatever unrealistic idea you have stuck in your head.”

“I don’t need you to be a housewife! I don’t want that for you. I just try to let you know that you don’t need to worry about your future as much because I will always be there to help you.”

“But I want a career! I want to work hard so I can have a good future. You need to get it into your head that your career isn’t the only important one.”

“I don’t think that! Me wanting to let you know that I support you no matter what isn't diminishing your career plans! It would be nice if you started to show a little more support. I am so sick and tired of all our conversations revolving around you and how your day was. If classes are rough, or you are stressed, you don’t respond to me. I never know where I land with you. But god forbid I try to mention how hard my day was. I am just as sick of it.”

She didn’t know how to respond. It seems that all the times she has been more focused on how she was feeling she completely forgot to check on how he was doing. Before she can even muster out an apology, Lando jumps back in.

“Maybe you are right. I don’t think I can do this either. Not anymore.” He feels his stomach dropping as he says the words, not fully meaning them.

There is a long silence, moments where she wants to apologize, to try and reconcile. In that moment all of the good memories of their relationship come flashing back to her, as if her mind is begging her to do something. But she doesn’t. 

“Then I guess this is it.” She finally says. 

“I guess so.”

[wongyuuu]

Willow | 03

pairing: seungcheol x fem!reader genre: fluff, marriage of convenience word count: 2.1k summary: seungcheol always knew that he was going to marry you, but things only get harder once he does (or in which seungcheol is just really dumb and doesn't know how to show his feelings)

part one | part two | part three (final) | drabble

requests are open

Dates with Seungcheol were always something to look forward to because he always planned it, to the little details. And somehow he found ways to add a little sprinkle of the past in it.

The first date, which happened only two days after you found the courage to talk to each other, had been simple. Seungcheol took you to a sushi place close to the academy you worked at. Next week I'll take somewhere nicer, he said then I'm going woo the fuck out of you. You laughed because that wasn't necessary, at all. The fancy dinners and the gifts had no real importance on the way you saw him. 

Because Seungcheol could have taken you anywhere, to have dinner at the top of the Eiffel Tower or the street seller in an alleyway somewhere. Anywhere he took you, you would have loved it. Not because the food was nice and the place was beautiful, but because it was him. Sure, all of that helped but those weren't the main reasons. And the dates truthfully played a very small part in how you felt about him.

You liked having breakfast with him every day, liked how if he had a chance he would pick you up after work, liked to have dinner with him. Somehow you found yourself enjoying hearing about his work, though some of it went completely over your head, he was passionate about it. He loved being a lawyer just as much as you loved being a teacher. 

And in exchange, Seungcheol loved hearing about your work too, about your day. He was mesmerized by your smile when you talked about a student who was struggling and finally caught the hang of it, he loved how proud you seemed.

But more than anything he loved that the two of you had gotten closer over the past few weeks. Seungcheol thought that it would be harder, that those four months of barely any contact and the weight of a marriage of convenience would take its toll on your relationship, that it would make it that much harder to get closer to each other. It was the exact opposite, though. 

If anything, it drew you closer.

The first thing you did was be honest, or at least as honest as Seungcheol saw possible without scaring you away from him. He knew that he should just come out and say that he had been in love with you for years, that despite everything he did there had never been someone else in his heart. 

To say that he didn’t date would be a lie, he thought that if he filled his time with another person then all thoughts of you would slowly disappear. It didn’t happen that way. The second he felt himself start to think less of you, something would happen and you were in his mind all over again. 

It had been a vicious cycle until the wedding, the initial issues you had, and then those moments. 

He could still think back to the moment he kissed you for the first time. It was on date number five. At that point, you had already some sort of routine together. Breakfast together, he would text you at random moments of the day — there was nothing to say but he wanted to let you know, even if it was subtly, that you were in his mind —, and then dinner, either at home or out.

That day Seungcheol texted you around 2 pm to let you know that he would pick up for the date. Apparently, it’s going to rain today, so I’ll pick you up. You tried to tell him that he didn’t have to, that you could take the subway as you had planned, especially because if it did rain then the traffic would be insane. Seungcheol’s only reply had been wait for me, i’ll come pick you up.

You decided not to fight him because even if there was traffic, his car would be much more enjoyable than the overpacked subway. And you liked this version of Seungcheol, the one that cared for you, that always seemed to go out of his way to make sure that you were comfortable around him. He was someone who liked to protect those around him, you realized then, and you were always on the receiving end. 

It was around 5:30 when the first drops of rain started to fall and barely a second later the first lighting broke the sky in two. And it was fine, the lighting and rain were okay. But thunder? That was when things got that much more complicated for you. You hated it, hated how loud it was, how it shook the windows as if they could break at any second. 

You searched for your earphones in your bag, only to remember that you left them on your bed, in a hurry to leave in the morning. 

You don’t remember exactly when it first started, your fear of thunderstorms. All you know is that the first one you remember happened when you were seven years old. You here home then, your parents were downstairs with Seungcheol’s parents. You were scared, your entire body shook but you made no sound and just hid under the covers, tightly hugging a teddy bear you got for your birthday while quietly humming a song to yourself.

As an adult, in your workplace, there were no covers to hide under and no plushy to hug, but at least there was music. You sat down in front of the piano, your fingers pressings the keys with ease. The song itself didn’t matter, you just needed something else to focus your mind for a while until the thunder stopped. 

You there were there for maybe an hour when you felt someone sit by your side. For a second you were startled until you realized that it was Seungcheol. His hair and suit were wet as he smiled at you. It was the sweetest smile he had ever given you until then, filled with so much kindness and something else that you couldn’t put your finger on. But it was right there on the surface and for the first time you allowed yourself to think that maybe you felt that too, whatever it was. 

“It’s been a really long time since I saw you play for the last time”

You took him in again, the way his hair was falling on his forehead completely damp from the rain outside, the dark grey suit he wore when he left the apartment in the morning was now almost black due to the water.

You didn’t mean to but it was like your hands had a mind of their own, in one second they were on the piano keys, and in the next one they were on his face. At first, you were only supposed to push his hair away from his eyes but you caught yourself running your fingertips over his eyebrows, cheekbone, and jaw until you finally pulled away. Or tried to. 

The second your skin wasn’t against his, Seungcheol pulled your hand back to his face, cupping his cheek. He leaned into it for a second, before pressing a soft kiss on your palm. Never once did his eyes left yours. 

The intensity of the moment was almost too much but you couldn’t look away from him, as if you were in some sort of trance. The world outside that room no longer matter, the rain and thunder were just background noise to the sound of your heart beating like crazy inside your chest. 

“When did you get here?”

He closed his eyes for a second and sighed, still pressing your palm against his cheek. Seungcheol held your hand in place because he didn't want you to let go of him but you wouldn't have.

"A few minutes ago, I was watching you play"

Your other hand came to his face as well. Seungcheol was shaking, visibly so, due to the rain. It was winter so there was no way that he wasn’t cold. 

“You should have called me, I would have met you in the car”

Seungcheol shook his head. He didn’t like to walk in the rain and hated the fact that he was soaked, but he would have hated himself more if he missed the sight of you playing the piano. That was one of his favorite things when he was still in school. He used to stay outside your practice room and just listen to you play. There were very few occasions when you allowed Seungcheol to actually watch you and in those moments he was the happiest. You were in your element, doing what you loved the most and he got to watch you for a little while. 

“Are you still scared of thunderstorms?” he said instead. 

The truth was that Seungcheol’s feelings were right on the surface, he struggled to keep them hidden from you. He wanted to say it all, tell you the truth about how he felt about you since the two of you were teenagers, but he knew that it was too soon for you. You were still getting used to being around him so you still kept your distance from him.

Your actions had surprised him, to say the least. He thought that even sitting so close to you was pushing his luck, but there you were holding him and there was this look in your eyes. Seungcheol didn’t know what it was, he could only hope that maybe, just maybe, you were growing feelings for him. 

“You know about that?” you pulled your hands away from his face and closed the piano. 

The way he looked at you was too meaningful almost. It was scary to think what that look meant, what it could entitle. But it was even more scary to find that your feelings for Seungcheol were growing. In such a short time, he made his presence known in your life. 

He was everywhere. When you woke up the first thing you thought about was him. You’d stay in complete silence in bed, listening intensely to the sounds outside your room, wishing that he was already up. You kept stealing glances at your phone, waiting for his reply to a text. Randomly you’d catch yourself smiling because you remembered something he did, something he said, or just overall him. 

Seungcheol was taking over all of your thoughts little by little. 

“Yeah, of course” he tentatively held your hand and was relieved when you didn’t pull away “Do you remember how we used to hide under your bed until it eventually stopped?”

Those memories were ones that you always held very close to your heart, but never once was Seungcheol in them. You remembered being under the bad, someone humming a song next to you, while tightly holding your hand. That person, however, didn’t really have a face so you always just assumed that it was your brother. Because although he always made fun of you for being scared, he was always one to help you when you needed it. 

“That was you?”

“Who else would it be?”

You don’t know what came over you, what kind of thoughts crossed your mind, or even if there was anything at all. Maybe it was one of those moments of a completely silent mind when actions just sort of happen because the filter that’s supposed to help you doesn’t work.

You leaned forward ever so slightly, still unsure, but Seungcheol was there to meet you halfway. He pressed his lips over yours, ever so lightly at first. As if testing that the kiss was something you wanted, as if asking for permission. When you didn’t pull away he pressed harder, his hand holding the back of your neck while he deepened the kiss. 

It felt like fireworks were erupting under your skin, like something had finally clicked into place. Because maybe that was where you were supposed to be all along, with him. 

That was the kiss you expected on your wedding day, while you were taking pictures, that was the kiss you remembered from the night you played spin the bottle. It was everything and then some more. At that moment you were kissing him because you wanted to, because there was nothing else in the world you’d rather be boing, not because someone dared him to kiss you, or to have something to show for your wedding pictures. 

Seungcheol was the first one to pull away, resting his forehead on yours, his breathing heavy.

“I hope you know, this changes everything,” he said quietly, his voice barely a whisper “I was holding back but there’s no way I can stop myself now”

You did your best to stop the smile that was trying to break on your lips. 

‘Let’s go home, husband”

Maybe, falling for your husband wasn’t that much of a bad idea.

hi! thank you for reading willow, i really hope you enjoyed. reblogs and liked are always welcomed.

taglist: @belladaises @minghaossv @lol6sposts @weebotakuboy @alifethatsonlyonthepage @donquixotesvt @dearlosver @dearxia @yogurttea @royal9 @desi-brownie @feat-sun @itsveronicaxxx @soonyoonswoo @xcynthiaaa @wondering-out-loud @matchahyuck @allmylove613 @g0lden-sunset

[dawndelion-winery]

They're So-

How they talk about you

Ft. Arlecchino, Capitano, Childe, Dottore, Pantalone

Arlecchino:

She speaks fondly of you, almost as if she were talking about family

She smiles softly, and anyone can tell you're the most important person in her life

Her words are curt, though, because she doesn't like other people prying into your lives

She'll only speak of you when asked

Unless she's with Columbina, then she won't shut up

Columbina finds it funny, probing every now and then when Arlecchino seems almost done only for Arlecchino to speak of your achievements with vigour once again

She's always so proud of you

And the fact that you're dating her? You have impeccable taste in women

She probably has a while presentation on why she loves you and Columbina has heard it at least seventeen times

The other harbingers have probably heard it at least five

Even the Tsaritsa isn't spared from hearing about how pretty your hair is, flecked with snow as light reflects off it

"Arlecchino, how are things with you?"

"All is well, my s/o recently-"

Yeah, she just goes on

Capitano:

He talks about you like he's your knight who's helplessly pining for his master but cannot admit he's in love because that would be preposterous

Which is ridiculous because you're sure you're way more into him than he is you

Wrong. You can never love him more than he loves you - he will always love you more and shower you in it

He thinks you're beautiful in every sense of the word, and he makes it known to everyone

"Are those the new uniforms? Oh, it's nothing, I was just thinking the colour would suit y/n. Don't you think so?"

"Yes, lor-"

"Yes, yes, they'd look good in anything, what was I thinking"

There is only one person willing to listen to him and that's Childe because the ginger gets to spar with him in exchange

Cue Capitano effortlessly pinning Childe down as he rambles about how you once stepped on his chest in a similar way and looked stunning while you did it

Childe:

Anything and everything he sees will be likened to how amazing you are

He just tasted some really good food? Hey that reminds him of that meal he shared with you, all good tastes better when it's eaten with you

^^has offered to invite subordinates to meals with you but they know better than to accept

That's his special time with you and if they encroach on that time...they'd be goners

So all anyone can really do is smile and nod along in agreement as he sings your praises

He's lucky Pulcinella sees him as his adopted kid of sorts or he'd have hit him upside the back of his head for never shutting up

The old man only ever sighs at his youth, shaking his head at the devoted, passionate puppy love Ajax had for you

He even keeps a stack of photos of you in one of those folding wallet things that he flips open when he wants to talk about you

Which makes for very exasperated subordinates who have to listen to him ramble about you at meetings because he insists they're not as awestruck as he is because they haven't seen you in the moment

"That's fine, here, let me help you understand" *whips out pictures* "So you see here, this is them-"

Yeah, they're in for a long story time

Dottore:

He seems so nonchalant that anyone would think he had no interest in you

He barely speaks of you to anyone except to mention your input which makes it seem like you're just another poor sod who works under him

Until someone dared to voice that thought

"You could treat them better?"

"Lord Dottore, I-"

"Go on, do elaborate. Exactly what can you give them that I don't already? What can you provide that could possibly measure up to my y/n's worth?"

Oh they're in for an earful, because he'll criticise everything about them, from appearance to talents, their fears and beliefs

All while praising how you could never be compared to such scum

It's a wonder how they were still standing at the end of- nevermind, they dropped to their knees the moment Dottore walked off

He's just a teeny bit scary like that, y'know?

Pantalone:

It's hard to catch him talking about you without you there because,,,well he takes you everywhere

After all, how could he not want to show you off to everyone?

So yeah, he will just straight up fawn over you to others in front of you

Embarrassed? Deal with it, you're free to hide your face in his chest as he hides you in his huge coat, but that's all you're getting

No, you can't leave without him, what's he going to do without you there to hold his hand?

Surely you wouldn't deprive him of the warmth he can only get from holding you close?

He especially likes to praise you when shopping

New shipment just in? Well those jewels really bring out your eyes, he should have them made into a ring for you

You'll never have nothing to wear because he insists on getting you something new whenever he can and then telling everyone how incredible it looks on you

Of course, shopkeepers and merchants aren't going to disagree with him when he says you look stunning in their wares

So you've practically everyone reminding you that you are indeed the loveliest partner for Lord Regrator, what a darling couple you make etc

With the man himself fueling it all

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[evermorehoon]

❣︎ ⎯⎯ reshaping reality

idol pairing: jake x reader

wc: 2.3k

genre: angst, fluff!

warnings: memory loss, separation, some crying of course, unintentionally recreating a meet cute, happy ending!

A/N: well say hello to my comeback work! idk I felt bad about the first one so I made this one to compensate and give y/n a happy ending. seeing as I did write this quite quickly, it might not be good since im very rusty and my fluff is ass😭 but anyway, feedback and appreciation is appreciated in any form so enjoy♡

here's part one in case you wanna refresh your memory (unlike someone lmao)

It was difficult watching Jake slowly regain his memories from a distance. You wanted to be with him, help bring back old memories, maybe even dig up old feelings.

But it had been weeks now and no one wanted to overwhelm him, especially after learning about the deaths of his two best friends. He was inconsolable, his head aching horribly from the crying and struggling to piece things together.

You'd left a questionable impression on him, seeing as his only memory of you is you crying by his bedside and being thankful that he was alive. Who were you, why was my family looking at you so sadly, what are you to me?

“I wondered about this for a while now,” he said aloud to the two memorials in front of him. The pictures of his friends were propped prettily on the table, allowing him to speak as though they were listening to him.

“My family seems to know her but no one wants to tell me who she is. Do you guys know?”

Silence.

“Maybe she can help me remember some of the last few years..”

He was told that there was a chance he wouldn't recover his memories due to the extensive brain damage. His head hurt every time he tried to make himself remember something but flashes of your face would appear in his dreams. He knew you must've been important enough to constantly cross his mind. His next step was to find out why.

Sometimes you'd sit on the edge of your bed, staring at your wedding dress as it hung from the closet door. You would set it out and just look at it. It was a beautiful dress, not a speck of dust on it from how well you cared for it. You were skeptical of wearing it again as it took you back to the worst day of your life.

You knew you could never marry another, especially in this dress. Perhaps the universe was telling you that it wasn't meant to be. That you should slowly move on.

But you'd look down at the rose gold promise ring given to you by your then boyfriend for your one year anniversary together. The engagement ring felt too painful to wear and you never had the chance to even see the wedding ring.

Maybe he won't remember you again, but his heart might.

It had been several months since you'd last seen Jaeyun. He was slowly making up the last few years, having given up on trying to remember old memories he decided to just make new ones. Even if it meant leaving you out of the picture.

He had managed to relearn some of his degree without having to do it again. He was still the quick learner he'd always been but he was made to take it easy at work, his colleagues reintroducing themselves slowly so as to not overwhelm him.

“How was the wedding?”

Jake blinked in confusion when it came up in conversation with a few of his colleagues. He looked completely clueless, shrugging with a nervous chuckle.

“What wedding?”

The others exchanged confused glances as one scratched their head, the air suddenly growing thicker with silence.

“Seriously, guys. Who got married? Was it maybe Jaein? He seems pretty nice.”

It's clear his smile was genuine. And, judging by the look of pure curiosity in his eyes, he was never told that he was in an accident on his wedding day. He was always puzzled by the picture of him and another woman smiling on his desk.

The conversation had died down rather quickly as the others left him hanging, leaving him to return to his desk with a puzzled expression. He sat down with a click of his tongue before looking down at that picture once more.

It had been sitting there for months since he never had the heart to take it off his desk. Looking at it gave him a little warmth in his heart. It gave him a seemingly comforting yet rather unfamiliar feeling, like looking at the woman in the picture was all he was meant to look at.

Then the glimmer of the rose gold ring on his left hand caught his attention. He tilted his head, gently fiddling with it. Taking it off felt wrong as his finger felt empty without it.

“I have to find that girl…” He thought to himself, trying to find a good way to approach you.

According to you, you missed him and you were happy he was okay. You were also in a significant amount of tears, so you must've been very close to him.

But then he sighed. It had been months since he'd last seen you, who knew if you even wanted to meet up with him. He was the one who decided to remake memories instead of hurting his head trying to remember the past.

He couldn't seem to understand why his family didn't say anything about you. Perhaps they thought he would remember you considering how big of a part you played in his life.

But how would you react if he suddenly asked so many questions? About the ring, the picture on his desk, your reaction when you saw him? Perhaps you'd be a little too uncomfortable with his presence after he left you behind without thinking.

Then, he'd thought of an idea.

Meanwhile, for you, the last few months were just numb and depressing. You thought it was for the best, letting him move onto a different path and ensuring his happiness. You felt selfish in wanting to force him to remember you so you could go back to your old life.

However, you went back to work as normal even with a somber look in your eyes. The house you lived in didn't feel like a home anymore. You couldn't smell the delicious 2am ramen he would cook as a late-night snack for you two. The house was cold and lifeless without his warm aura and hearty laughter to fill the rooms.

You missed him terribly. You sometimes wanted to cry when you remembered that you would never wake up to his fluffy bed hair and sleepy expression or his sweet smile that could light the town.

But alas, you never thought you could experience it again. All love ever did was break and burn and end. At least, that's what you thought. You hoped and prayed that maybe he'll remember that you were meant to be.

Jake had moved back to his parents house as his family helped him in every way they could. He sometimes sat in his room, scrolling through his gallery, seeing you in so many pictures.

His heart swelled with warmth when he saw your smile. He chuckled when he saw videos of you two laughing together. How was he not with you right now? It's clear you two were in love, so why couldn't he bring himself to finally talk to you?

He seemed a little… afraid. Yes, afraid of what would happen. Just because you were lovers before the accident doesn't mean you still love him. Maybe his presence will interfere with your healing, maybe you've made peace with this and moved on.

But he'd never know unless he tried. So he gathered up the courage to think of something, some kind of way to ‘accidentally’ run into you.

And judging by one of the pictures in his gallery, he may know just the place.

The coffee shop. As cliché as it may be, you found solace in the atmosphere of a good coffee shop. It was a good environment to work in, all while having even more coffee than before. Your caffeine intake increased steadily over the past few weeks as it was the only thing that could calm you down these days.

Seated in the back of the café, your gaze fixed on your laptop with a cappuccino by your side as you typed. You mastered the ability to block out the world, not allowing your mind to wander because it would almost always make its way back to him.

“Are you using this?”

You froze almost instantaneously, your fingers slightly shaking from how quickly you stilled. That voice was familiar, you remember hearing that same sentence years ago.

It's when you look up, your heart sinks to the ground. There he stood right beside you.

His round glasses and coffee brown eyes, just how you remembered him. He looked like he hadn't aged a day as he looked like the same Sim Jaeyun you met in the university library all those years ago.

“What?” You asked softly, trying to confirm if all of this was real.

“The plug.” His voice sounded much more mature as he pointed to his laptop bag.

You didn't know whether he was intentionally recreating the day you first met or if he's still trying to jog his memory. His face was still uncertain so it was clear he didn't remember doing this before.

You shook your head, allowing him to sit opposite you and plug his laptop in. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off you, his heart felt warm and calm now that he was face to face with the woman he sees in his dreams and in his pictures.

“Is there something on my face?”

Your voice knocked him out of his thoughts as you asked softly. He shook his head, trying to play it off.

“Uh, no… you just look familiar..” he chuckled softly before looking down, realizing that it probably wasn't the best thing to say at that moment.

It was possibly the most awkward encounter you two have ever had. Neither could speak, focusing on typing some documents and whatnot. You would look up occasionally at him, noticing his little habits and knowing he never changed one bit. He still tapped his lips gently when he was thinking (one of his cutest habits in your opinion).

That was until you decided to speak up rather quietly and cautiously.

“Do you remember now?”

He looked up at you, unsure of what to say. He couldn't say he did, because he didn't. All he had was a feeling. A magnetic pull toward you that he couldn't avoid.

“No,” he said softly as he shook his head.

“What are you nervous about?”

“Nervous? I'm not nervous…”

“You fiddle with your ring when you're nervous.”

He looked down at his hands, unknowingly fiddling with his rose gold ring. He was slightly surprised by your observation, not knowing that you'd known him long enough to memorize his every habit.

The conversation died as quickly as it began, the two of you going back to working again. He could tell you seemed uneasy and uncertain. The last thing he wanted to do was to make you uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to go?” He asked. He didn't seem like he wanted to leave but, if he did, it would mean he'd leave forever.

You thought for a few seconds before speaking.

“I want to start over.”

There's that familiar warmth in Jake's heart every time he sees you in the café. You greeted him with a warm smile, now on your second meeting.

You had somehow agreed to completely wipe the slate clean. You thought to yourself that you would never know if he still loved you unless you went through everything all over again. Life had given you a reset button, and who were you to deny it?

Sure you would grow a little impatient here and there but you constantly reminded yourself that you're taking it easy for his sake. To him, you're a familiar stranger even though he's the love of your life. You pretended to learn about habits and hobbies and interests you already knew.

It felt like you were falling in love again. He was just as beautiful, funny, and smart as he was when you first dated. His hangouts were just as sweet as before.

You watched him with fondness in your eyes as he'd cover his mouth with one hand while he laughed. His adorable laughter rang through your ears like a soothing tune.

The hangouts turned into weeks of courting and into months of dating.

Everyone was thrilled to know you two were back together again. But the uncertainty of whether he wanted to marry you or not still hung over your head. He seemed to have given up on remembering, making a scrapbook of new memories of you two.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any better, he proposed once more. He'd gotten a new ring to replace the one that haunted you at times. He'd moved back in with you, filling the house with his radiant warmth and turning it into a home once more.

Time went by so quickly that you couldn't believe you were back in the same position as a few years ago. Standing in a white dress with a bouquet of origami orange flowers, which Jake picked and hand-made.

Walking down the aisle and clutching onto your bouquet, it all felt like a dream. Your future husband waiting for you at the altar with the biggest smile on his face, surrounded by the people you love most. Everything was finally coming true, all because you took the chance to let it all begin again.

I feel like the ending is a little rushed I am so sorry😭😭

[a-case-of-attachment]

So in Hell’s Greatest Dad, Lucifer tells Charlie that ‘with a punch of a pentagram’ and ‘usually I charge a sacrificial lamb’ when he’s offering to help her with the hotel and it got me thinking. Surely he must have had people sacrifice things in his honour or for favours before right? So….what if when something is sacrificed to him it ends up down in Hell?

It works like some sort of inter dimensional postal service. Lucifer will just be doing whatever then a portal will open up above him full of weird oil slick coloured clouds and lightening cracking across the endless sky with the boom of thunder not far behind. Out of the portal flies a cherub sized faun wearing a shirt, waistcoat and bow tie brandishing a clipboard that’s got the contract attached to it. All the important things will be on there like who’s doing the sacrificing, what they are sacrificing and what they want in exchange for it. Lucifer can either accept the sacrifice and sign the document, giving the sinner what they want or just straight up refuse to sign, decline the sacrifice and instead have it sent off to purgatory.

The problem is that Lucifer is so jaded that he doesn’t even bother reading the contracts any more. Sinners all want the same thing anyway, fame, fortune, revenge, so what’s the point even bothering to look these days? It’s not like he gets that many sacrifices in his name anymore and when he does it’s mostly just lambs and goats, the occasional dog or guinea pig and a cat that one time. He often just gives them to people as pets, it’s how Charlie had gotten razzle and dazzle.

But you know, people are deranged and over the centuries there have been a handful of human souls that come his way. Lucifer never accepts those, often get angry that people actually think killing someone would make him happy. Shocker, it doesn’t. All it did was prove that humans really are just the worst, a race of violent psychopaths hellbent on causing as much pain and destruction as they can. Yes Lucifer felt bad that these people had died and for nothing but he wasn’t about to reward some lowlife scumbag for taking another’s life so unfortunately that meant the sacrificed soul was purgatory bound. It wasn’t ideal but it also wasn’t permanent. At least there they would get the chance to move onto heaven eventually and not be stuck in this infernal nightmare for all of eternity.

So no, Lucifer didn’t do human sacrifices. Except, well, maybe he did.

It was an accident! Lucifer had been distracted, him and Charlie having a slight disagreement about the hotel and her expectations when it came to heaven. He hadn’t meant to upset her but she needed to realise that very few angels would be as open to the idea of redemption as he or Emily had been. It had been just about the time Lucifer had been urging Charlie to proceed with caution when it came to Heaven that a portal opens above him, a little faun flying out, clipboard already in hand and looking down at Lucifer through the spectacles perched on its nose.

Lucifer had attempted to ignore the blasted thing but it just flys around his head, brandishing the clip board and tapping impatiently at its wristwatch until Lucifer finally had enough and snatches the board off him, quickly flipping to the back and signing it before shoving it back at the startled faun. It just huffs at him, jotting something down before tearing off a sheet and giving it back to Lucifer only to disappear back into the portal. Lucifer doesn’t look at the contract he just signed, not caring what shallow and self serving thing the mortal had asked for. He goes back to Charlie, continuing to urge to not trust heaven so easily, all the while holding his arms out expectantly to catch whatever animal is going to drop out of the portal.

Lucifers expecting a lamb or a goat, heavyish for a human but nothing for him, except he gets something much larger and heavier, the shock of it knocking Lucifer to the ground. His first thought is some wretched mortal had sacrificed a cow or horse, either to lazy to find the usual offering or thinking the bigger the sacrifice the better the reward. Either way Lucifer is already regretting his choice to grant their wish, no clue what he is supposed to do with a cow other than send it down to a farm on wrath. Grumbling Lucifer sits up slightly, tugging at his hat that had been pushed down over his eyes but when he mages to pull his hat off Lucifer realises it’s so much worse than a cow.

There’s a person on his lap. A very human person sprawled across his lap and legs, their weight pinning him to the floor. You are dressed all in a white, the fabric almost see through though the top part was stained red with blood. Lucifer can’t look past your chest, the demonic sigils carved there still oozing blood. When he does manage to look up it’s to fined wide fear filled eyes staring back at him. The two of you just stare at one another, Lucifer feeling more and more panicked as the seconds drag on whilst you look close to passing out.

The whole room is silent and Lucifer just knows that they are all staring at the two of you, just as shocked as him and waiting for one of you to do something. Charlie is the first one to make a move, slowly creeping across the room to lay a hand on your shoulder. She probably meant to be a reassuring gesture but it’s a mistake nonetheless. It startled you, causing you to fall from Lucifers lap and giving you the first real view of the room and the rest of its inhabitants. Things go about as well as you would think.

You start screaming, Charlie panics as she tries to calm you down but only makes it worse, Angel dust offers you a drink that gets knocked out his hand and ends up all over Husk and Alastor offers to silence you permanently. Needless to say that none of what they are doing helps calm you down or make you feel any less afraid and all Lucifer does is sit there, staring down at the smear of red on his white pants and struggling to wrap his head around what in the hell is happening because he couldn’t have just accepted a human soul as payment. He’s never done that before, never, and yet there you are, cowering in the corner like a frightened animal, eyes franticly darting around as you look for some form of escape.

It’s that look of pure terror that gets Lucifer up and moving, handing off his hat and cane to Charlie as he gets everyone to back up and give you some space. He approached you slowly, hands held up in front of him to show you he meant no harm and keeping his voice soft and calm as he tells you that no one’s going to hurt you, that your safe here with them. He makes sure to leave a little bit of space between you when he stops, sinking down into a crouch so he’s eye level though you won’t look at him for long, eyes darting around at even the slightest movement. You’re still bleeding, the sigil for his name looking the deepest. It makes Lucifer feel sick, that someone could do this to you and claim that it’s in his honour. He found no honour in an act like this, only hate and disgust, igniting a strong desire inside him to hunt down those responsible and show them the same kindness they had you.

It takes a good few minutes of Lucifer talking at you before he gets any form of response. He introduces himself, tells you once more that he isn’t going to hurt you and that he just wants to help and maybe even clean up those markings so they don’t get infected. It’s slow going but eventually you give him a slight nod, uncurling from where you had been trying to make yourself as small as possible so he can get a better look at the ugly mess of cuts on your chest. He startled you when he conjures water and a cloth, Lucifer apologising as you bang into the wall behind you in an attempt to get away from the sudden action. He does get you to calm down though, at least enough for him to clean away the blood and apply bandages.

These wounds will not disappear like the injuries the now resident of Hell would sustain, their origin in magic and acting as a physical sign of your binding to him. But Lucifer vows to look after them and you, after all this is all his fault and though he knows that Charlie would care for you if he was to up and leave he can’t bring himself to do so. It’s his responsibility to look after you, you are his after all and isn’t that just a horrific twisted little thought. Lucifer wants to cry, to beg your forgiveness because unless he was to gift your soul to another you were bound to him from now until eternity, forced to obey his every request regardless of what you wanted. He can’t cry though, not when you already are, silent tears rolling down your cheeks and dripping off your chin onto his hand and arm as he cleans away the blood. So he fights back the tears, completely focused on his task and trying to be as gentle as he possibly can be.

When he’s done and the now ruined rag and pink water are vanished away with the wave of his hand Lucifer doesn’t know what else to do other than offer you a safe space of your own and a comfortable bed to sleep in so he does exactly that. You look terrified when he asks if you would like to go to bed, eyes dropping down to just below his belt. Lucifer might actually be sick when he realises what you are scared is going to happen and he can’t get the words out quick enough to reassure you that he means to sleep and that you will be the only person in the room. His obvious horror at the implication seems to reassure you and you give him a small nod.

You use the wall to support you getting up but as soon as you go to take a step forward your legs buckle and Lucifer has to lurch forward to grab hold of you before you can hit the floor. Your to weak, wether that be from the shock or the blood loss Lucifer doesn’t know, possibly both, but what he does know is you are not going to make it up the several flights of stairs on your own.

He asks before picking you up, waiting for you to give him a nod of agreement before he slips one hand behind your back and the other behind your knees. It’s nothing for him to pick you up but it had you squeaking in surprise, flinging your arms around his neck and pulling yourself tighter against him. Lucifer can’t help laugh softly, assuring you that he was stronger than he looked and that he wouldn’t drop you. You don’t seem to buy it though, your hold around his neck tightening as you hide your head against his shoulder. He can’t blame you for being scared, Licifer looks like a strong breeze would send him stumbling but he supposes that’s one of the perks of being an angel, he’s stronger than he looks.

It’s only when he turns around that Lucifer realises the rooms completely empty except for the two of you. He doesn’t know when everyone else disappeared but he’s grateful for it, not sure how you would have reacted to a room full of weird looking people staring at you. He talks to you the whole time up to your room, telling you where he was taking you and a little about the hotel and it’s residents, though he mostly tell you about Charlie and Vaggie, the only other people he trusts to look after you correctly if he wasn’t around. Lucifer picks a room for you on the same floor as him though a couple of doors down in an attempt to keep you close and also give you some probably much needed distance. He sets you down on the bed, tells you where everything is including his room, just in case you need him before he comes back to check the bandages in a few hours. He does conjure you some sleep clothes though, making sure they were the softest and most comfortable thing you have ever worn. He wants you to be comfortable, to actually feel safe after what you have been through and though he knows the simple kindness he has showing you will not erase that it will hopefully show you that despite what you may have heard Lucifer isn’t all that bad.

Lucifer hates himself just a little bit more after what he does next, crouching down to look you in the eye and telling you that you can’t leave the hotel room unless he comes to get you or you are going to his room and nowhere else. Normally it would just be words but you are bound to Lucifer now and even you don’t want to you will have no choice but to obey him. You stiffen, nodding your head slightly but still you don’t say a word, not even when he bids you good night. He doesn’t even get the door half way closed before he hears you start to cry. He wants to go back, to take you in his arms and apologise for what has been done to you whilst reassuring you that life here will not be as bad as you think. He doesn’t though, wanting to give you time to greave and mourn the loss of your life.

He doesn’t even make it two steps down the corridor before it all really hits him and Lucifer crumbles, sinking to the floor and pressing his hand against his mouth in an attempt to muffle his own sobs. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do, or how he’s even meant to care for you correctly. Animals were easy, simple to please, humans not so much. Plus Lucifer owned you, he would have to be extremely carful of what he said because even an offhanded comment would be taken as a command and you could end up getting seriously hurt.

It’s too much, Lucifer not equipped to deal with such responsibility but he has no choice, he has to. This is all his fault after all and he couldn’t abandon you in your hour of need. No he would figure this all out, tend to your wounds and help you adjust to life here in hell. He would help you find a place to call home, maybe at the hotel helping with the sinners or maybe something down in one of the other rings. Just somewhere you could feel truly safe and at ease. Whatever you wanted Lucifer would make it yours, giving you as much a slice of paradise as he can. How else would he atone for his mistake?

[seungminxstay]

party girl / seungkwan x reader / 18+ mdni

when you need liquid courage to fuck your best friend

Seungkwan was just back from an okay date when he saw an unexpected caller ID pop up on his phone. Hoshi calling him past midnight on a weekend, when was that ever a good thing?

“What did you do?”

“No, not me,” Hoshi replied, sounding surprisingly sober. “Y/n.”

Seungkwan’s frown deepened. “She told me she was studying today.”

“Well, look who’s here and wasted as hell. Come before she pukes on my precious sofa.”

Hoshi hung up before Seungkwan could argue, but he was already reaching for his jacket and keys.

It’s been a while since Seungkwan had to pick you up. Every party you’ve ever been to, from birthday parties in kindergarten to your first actual party in college, Seungkwan was there besides you - like he was in every important and non important stages of your life.

He drove off campus to the house Hoshi shared with several others, having to park three blocks away because of how crowded the street was. As soon as he got out of the car, he could hear music blaring in the near distance.

Seungkwan invited himself in Hoshi’s house - he’s been here too many times to count. He squeezed through the buzzing crowd, exchanging hasty greetings with people he recognized, but his attention was solely on finding you as he looked around the room

You were sitting on the sofa; or to be exact, you were curled up on Lee Chan’s lap, your hands comfortably resting on his arm, whispering something in his ear. Chan looked helpless as he simply sat back, letting you continue whatever game you were playing.

Seungkwan’s stomach burned. His initial reaction was to steer back, but when Chan met his eyes and mouthed “HELP ME,” he had no choice but to go and confront you.

“Y/n.”

“Kwannie,” you slurred, not even bothering to turn your head. “Aren’t you busy screwing your girlfriend?”

Seungkwan felt a sharp jab in his chest. You never talk to him like this.

“It’s just a date and she’s not my girlfriend. You’re drunk. Let’s go home.”

“No, I’m staying with Channie today, right, Channie?”

“Um, I might actually go and... get something to drink? God, I'm thirsty. See you guys later!”

He fled, leaving Seungkwan with a very drunk and sour you. You still refused to look at him, taking a swig from the plastic cup in your hand.

Seungkwan grabbed your wrist. You let out a yelp as the drink spilled over you, but that was the least of his worries.

“You’ve had too much,” he grunted. You whined in protest, but you were too drunk to physically fight back as Seungkwan, quite literally, dragged you out of the party and to the car.

It was silent on the drive back. Seungkwan considered dumping you on the doorsteps of your dorm and leaving someone else to deal with the mess you were. Unfortunately, your roommate was out for the night, and he couldn’t leave you like this. When you might wander off and find another guy to get friendly with.

He carried you up the stairs and to your room. He had the keys; you've said it was only for emergencies, but Seungkwan's emergencies included using your bed for naps between classes or just simply coming to bug you.

Today, though, was a different story. You and Seungkwan have fought endlessly since kindergarten, from petty playground fights to times when you stopped talking to each other for days. But one of you eventually caved in and made up after every fight. This was one of these instances, right?

"If you expect me to come every time you go and throw yourself on some random guy..."

“I didn’t even ask you to. I was doing fine with Chan,” you mumbled, knowing what you say was going to get him agitated. Seungkwan clenched his jaw.

“Well, I’m sorry then, you could have just fucked Channie and I shouldn't have cared. Why should I care?"

His voice rose louder than he intended to, and he could see a flash of hurt in your eyes. You both didn’t know - no, pretended not to notice - why you were working each other up like this.

Then the next second, you were kissing him. He stumbled backwards onto your bed, the force knocking the wind out of him.

It wasn’t like what Seungkwan had imagined from time to time - in the quiet afternoon library, or cuddled beneath the blankets of his bed, or on the doorsteps of your dorm, after a sweet date. It was messy and angry. You reeked of alcohol and Chan’s perfume.

Your hands grabbed his face, and Seungkwan found it so easy to get lost in the heated kiss. He could feel hot tears streaming down your cheeks, and everything was so overwhelming, he didn't know what to think. It just felt good. It felt perfect.

He was brought back to his senses by your hands snaking under his shirt.

“You're drunk, I'm not doing anything if you're - ”

“Please please please Seungkwan. You know I’ve only wanted you, all this time.”

Did you really mean it? Seungkwan tried meeting your eyes, but you were busy trailing kisses down his jawline, his neck...

You sank down on your knees. Seungkwan's breath hitched as you lowered his pants and brought your mouth to his bulge, embarrassingly hard from just the kisses alone.

Heat rose to his cheeks as he contemplated whether to look away from such a sinful sight - you, his best friend, his first love, his crush since forever, giving him head like you needed it. He could cum from just seeing you in this angle, nestled between his thighs and looking cute as hell.

Seungkwan had such a pretty cock. You ran your tongue up his length, swirling at the tip and using your whole mouth to take him in. One hand you kept wrapped around the base, the other you used to get yourself off. Seungkwan watched your hand travel underneath your skirt, moaning sweetly on his cock as you pleasured yourself.

He so badly wanted to be the one touching you, fingers buried in your pussy, thumb rubbing your clit. Just his imagination made him lightheaded, and he couldn't stop the loud moans as he came, hot cum hitting the back of your throat.

You tried swallowing, but some of the white was smeared on your lips. Seungkwan impulsively leaned over and kissed you square on the mouth.

“Did you just taste yourself?”

“It was gross. Spit it out next time.”

A next time. You smiled to yourself as you softly pushed him on his back, straddling him. You took off your shirt and bra. He was mesmerized by the sight, staring at your body being unwrapped like a Christmas present, your gorgeous curves, until you guided his hands there. He squeezed them gently and ran his fingertips over your nipples, earning a soft sigh from you.

"You're such a good boy Kwannie... Now let me ride your pretty cock. Hard already for me, hmm?"

Seungkwan groaned as you lowered yourself on his length. You squirmed around, getting used to his girth, but quickly picked up your pace as you felt it grazing your sweet spot.

Seungkwan covered his face with his hands, unable to take in everything without his face burning.

"Look at me,” you said, lacing your fingers with his. Seungkwan was all red and fucked out as you bounced on his cock, and knowing that you had so much power over him, hearing him moan your name, made the heat pooling in your lower body swell. You stifled a cry as an intense orgasm washed over you, falling over on Seungkwan and desperately wrapping your arms around his neck.

Your sensitive nipples brushed against his smooth chest, making you shiver, but it was the warmth of Seungkwan filling you up that brought you past your limit.

You were suddenly tired. You felt Seungkwan’s ragged, uneven breaths, his length still burried in you, the hollow of his collarbone perfectly matching the curve of your cheek…

.

You jolted awake, surprised to see a sleeping Seungkwan right next to you, his body pressed against yours. Your bed was too small for two people to share. Sunlight filtered through the edges of the curtain, dappling his cheekbones, and as you brushed his hair out of his eyes, you remembered everything from last night - your words, his words, how the kisses tasted like.

You both had started seeing other people since high school, but it had hurt, every single time, when Seungkwan would get a glimpse of you laughing at a random guy's jokes, or when you would call Seungkwan at the most spontaneous of times, only to find out that he was on a date with some other girl.

It was just a childhood crush. You’d eventually grow out of it. You were best friends before anything.

That was what you kept telling yourself, but apparently, it wasn't the case when it was Boo Seungkwan.

[ghcstao3]

I saw your tags, you have challenged me!

Scary Show AU (cw for cannibalism and murder)

Ghost is a very well-known yet still semi-anonymous Voice Actor for spooky shit. There's a huge following for him because, regardless of what role he's playing, he does a phenomenal job. He's only listed in the cast list as "S.R.Ghost"

Typically he plays the role of the creatures in this super popular show called "Cryptid Season" which follows a gang of college kids desperate for extra credit in their Biology class so they hunt cryptids as evidence/to study for their papers. He does the voice over and some of the motion capture (he's a big dude) for the monsters and such, his most famous one being "Goatman" (from the demonic Goatman's bridge in I think Texas?)

Meanwhile Soap is this animator who's starting to become really popular, and he announces a new show in the work: "Consume", where he voices one of the two lead roles. It's presented as a show about a normal, if not very lonely man, being tormented by a demonic presence in his home.

Plot twist: dude's actually a cannibalistic serial killer and ends up quickly befriending the demon. The demon helps make the man harder to track by police forces in exchange for the bones and souls of his victims.

Cast:

Soap as the killer

Ghost as the demonic entity

Gaz as a detective who's new to the case but also best friends with Soap's character

Price voices the seasoned detective who's been working this case "too damn long"

Ghost and Soap ABSOLUTELY fall in love while recording scenes together. The banter, the flirting, the sexy scenario of cutting up a corpse together; it's too much not to fall in love irl

(actually such a big brain idea but I don't know how you'd write it tbh lmao. Maybe the show itself, where the boys keep their names? Idk the original idea turned into something much greater)

took a minute to figure something out i'm ngl but i did. something (in any case i would love to see your proper takes(s) if you'd be up to it, seeing as it's your idea!! i feel like i couldn’t do it justice)

-

Just like any other actor, Ghost had to audition for the role.

His agent books it for him without consultation, knowing the project would be right up his alley—horror, monsters, no face required—and Ghost makes no argument in sending in his tape. He recognizes this process and takes no issue with it, and once out of his hands, he waits patiently for a congratulatory offer or a gentle rejection.

Just like any other movie, or show, or what have you. Consume is no different.

Supposedly. At first.

John "Soap" MacTavish is... many things. He's charming, according to most. Talented. A joy to be around. A man who wears more than several hats of a project, which certainly tells of someone trying to worm their way into the commercial industry.

He has the spirit and creativity, Ghost will allow him that. But he also doesn't know when to stop talking as soon as the important work is done.

Is Soap professional? Sure. Does Soap make sure all jobs are done with efficiency and done well? Yes, he does. Does it make him any less of a nuisance to Ghost? Absolutely not.

But Ghost would be damned if the project doesn’t find its way into his soft spots, despite its nature. He’d be damned if he doesn’t fall in love with Soap’s animations and the hard work and craft he puts into them.

Then he blinks, and the pilot is premiering. It does well (again, considering its content), and Consume is properly green-lit.

Which is when Soap proposes the idea of recording their lines in the same room. Together. Facing one another. Because banter, and chemistry, and whatever other reasons he insists upon.

Personally, Ghost wants to decline. He’s always felt somewhat awkward when recording as such with anyone, but professionally? He couldn’t really say no, could he?

And it is awkward, at first. There’s more takes than usual, and Ghost can sense Soap’s frustration, though the man never expresses it. He just plasters on a tight smile, calls for a break, and pulls Ghost aside.

Surely, surely this is where Ghost gets fired. This is where Ghost is told he’s going to be replaced, where he’s told to say goodbye to Gaz and Price and wish them luck, and move onto his next gig. This is where—

“Have I done something wrong?”

Soap’s face is so earnest. So painfully sincere.

Ghost clenches his jaw. Shakes his head.

“No, I—“ He sighs. “Just have to get used to the… face-to-face. Let’s—I’ll try again.”

Soap smiles wider, now, as he nods, something kind and warm and brilliant.

The second try goes much smoother. Ghost takes a deep breath and eases himself into scripted dialogue, into witty banter and subtle flirts like it’s any other project.

They continue to record lines as such, just the two of them, each episode at a time. At some point, Ghost worries, the line between script and show and reality gets blurred. At some point, he fears, that flirting becomes genuine.

And what would he know—the reviews only get better as that line becomes less and less clear. Natural, real-feeling dialogue, critics say. The relationship is authentic, claim viewers.

The love is actually heartfelt.

And fuck, if that doesn’t make Ghost realize a few things about himself.

About Soap.

Consume is no different, his ass. He might have to have a stern talk with his agent in the near future.

(Or not.)

[pauli-writes]

warnings: mentions of oda’s death, mention of the orphanage, hurt comfort, dazai is being dazai

pairing: atsushi x reader (reader is oda’s younger sibling in this)

author’s note: i got sad thinking about oda :( timeline wise i imagined this to go in between the first arc and the guild arc just in case you were curious. i might make a part 2 of this cuz i like the premise

“reader!“ you looked up at the sound of the bell chiming and people entering the cafe. as usual it was some members of the detective agency upstairs. dazai was leading the pack, behind him doctor yosano and ranpo, and lastly atsushi. they looked pretty pleased with themselves, they must have just finished with a case.

“you all look chipper, did you finish a case?” you asked them with a friendly smile, starting to prepare a few baked treats for them (mainly ranpo) and freshly brewing some coffee.

“all thanks to me!” ranpo replied as they sat down in a booth. it made you smile hearing ranpo recount the events of the case with the occasional comment or correction from yosano and dazai. it also gave you enough time to finish their usual orders and put them on their table.

once you got to atsushi you noticed how silent he was and seemed to be avoiding looking at you directly. you furrowed your eyebrows and looked at dazai, who in turn just shrugged innocently, but you knew that he knew something like he always did. you turned to look at ranpo in hopes of getting something from him, but he was already munching away on the piece of cake you gave him. doctor yosano wasn’t much help either, idly drinking coffee without a care in the world.

you returned to the counter and cleaned a few glasses, listening to the agency having a few humerus exchanges and keeping an eye on the clock in the corner of the room. yosano and ranpo left after a while, but dazai and atsushi remained.

“oh, that reminds me. you have somewhere to be today, don’t you reader?” you looked up at the mention of your name and saw dazai looking at you with a knowing expression.

“if you already know, why are you asking me?”

“that’s no way to talk to the person who got you this job,” he replied, before sitting up straight and turning a bit more serious. it was a rare sight nowadays, and it usually wasn’t very good when it happened. “i know i promised i’d come with you, but something came up.”

you blinked in surprise, “you’re not coming? but today-“

“i’m sorry,” he wasn’t. he took another sip of coffee and turned to look at atsushi opposite to him, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. “i have something more important to do. but atsushi here is free. i’m sure he’ll be happy to accompany you.”

both you and atsushi’s eyes widened at the moment, for very different reasons. you didn’t want to bother him with your problems, that besides the fact that dazai had that look on his face that meant that he was planning something, meanwhile atsushi simply didn’t want to intrude into your personal life, seemingly unaware of dazai’s ulterior motive.

“oh, i can go alone.“ you quickly said, busying yourself with cleaning the counter.

dazai however shook his head. “no way. it’s way too dangerous with the port mafia around. besides, i think it’s best if you have someone around for this.”

you looked down for a moment, dazai probably was right (like always). you lifted your head and looked at atsushi, wondering what he thought. he was anxiously fiddling with his hands, not really knowing what to do. this seemed more like a thing between you and dazai if he was being honest. he sensed your questioning gaze on him and jumped a little in his seat.

“oh, i don’t mind if you don’t,” he replied earnestly, “i finished all of my work today early so i have the time.”

you turned your gaze back at dazai, who only looked at you curiously, probably awaiting your next move. in the end you let out a sigh and nodded your head at the two men.

“okay, but just this once,” you said to atsushi softly, before looking at dazai with a hardened expression, “And you owe me.”

your shift ended a few minutes later, dazai left to attend to his very important thing he told nobody about, and you and atsushi set off to your desired destination.

on the way you stopped to get some flowers, and you made some pleasant small talk. it made you realise how little time you have actually spent with atsushi. he told you about his time at the agency and how he’s enjoying it so far (besides the countless near death experiences) and you told him about your life, which was very mundane and the only exciting thing was when the agency came down from work to eat and drink at the cafe.

you eventually reached your destination and upon seeing it, you expected atsushi to ask you why you were here, but he didn’t, which meant he knew why you were here. you walked up ahead and atsushi followed you silently, eventually you turned to face him.

“aren’t you going to ask me?”

his face turned red, “a-ask you what, reader?”

“why we bought the flowers and why we’re at a cemetery,” you explained slowly, making him turn even redder.

he laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck, “oh, yeah why is that?”

you only deadpanned at his reaction, “you’re a horrible actor.” you told him, before softening a little, “dazai told you.”

you continued you way down the rows and rows of graves, before walking up a small hill with a tree on top. atsushi continued to follow you and explained himself to you, his cheeks still a little red from being flustered.

“b-before we went to the cafe today dazai-san told me that you might be acting a bit moody, when i asked why that was he told me that it’s because today’s the anniversary of your brother’s death… b-but i didn’t know that he was going to make me come here with you, i suppose that’s just regular dazai-san for you…i’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

you let his words sink in and nodded, stopping at the sole grave at the top of the hill. you let out a deep breath. “it’s alright, atsushi. dazai was being dazai again… i know you were just trying to protect my feelings.”

atsushi let out a breath and relief as he heard you say that, his face returning to its normal colour. you smiled a little and handed him a flower from your bunch.

“you can put one down too,” you told him softly. “normally dazai would join me for this, but you’ll do too,” atsushi gulped nervously, but nodded. together the two of you placed the flowers carefully on to his grave, a bitter sweet feeling in the air.

afterwards you two sat down by the tree, which was overlooking the rest of the graves on the cemetery as well as a small part of the ocean. it was nice a quiet and a small breeze was in the air, it was quite beautiful. you turned your head away from the sight and saw atsushi eyeing the grave with the new flowers on it.

“i still remember the last thing he said to me,” you spoke up, making him immediately snap his attention back to you. “It was ‘see you later’ I didn’t think too much about it at first but, looking back he probably knew he wasn’t going to make it back… he knew he was going to leave me, and he did it anyways…”

“i’m sure he wouldn’t have left you if there was another choice.” atsushi replied, trying to make you feel better. “he probably was trying to get the best possible out come for everyone.”

your hands subconsciously balled into fists as you avoided atsushi’s gaze and looked at the grave instead. “you don’t know him, you don’t even know what happened leading up to it. heck, i didn’t know what was going on until dazai told me days later…” you took a deep shaky breath, putting your face into your hands, as tears started to gather in the corners of your eyes. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean that.”

atsushi was quick to put a comforting hand on your shoulder and give you soft pats. he actually didn’t know what he was suppose to do. growing up in the orphanage he never really had to comfort any other people besides himself, if you started fully crying right now he would start to panic. “i-it’s alright, you are right. i didn’t know him and i don’t know what happened…” he said sincerely, “a-and i have never lost someone i truly care about. i was always alone up until i met you and the agency. i couldn’t possible tell you anything to make you feel better and for that i’m sorry. but i am willing to listen if you need to vent…”

he saw how your body visibly relaxed and let out a quiet breath in relief. you turned to look at him again, a small grateful smile on your face. “thank you…”

he smiled back at you, “no problem.”

the two of you spent the remainder of the day by that tree, simply talking, something that humans surprisingly don’t do a lot anymore. talking to atsushi was nice, he was very considerate of your thoughts and feelings and listened intently. he wasn’t being pushy, or disinterested, he was simply enjoying spending time with you.

eventually the sun started to set and you got up, stretching your limbs. “well, i’d better go home it’s getting dark.”

atsushi followed your lead and also got back up on his feet. “I’ll walk you home.”

“you don’t have to do that,” you told him, “you’ve done more than enough today.”

he only smiled softly at you. “i know i don’t have to, but i want to.”

you smiled back at him and nodded, “…okay.”

[abberant-butler]

Again. You wake up in your bed.

___ 1/2 I started this, my room flooded. I took a week off because all my stuff was in the living room. I set up my computer, worked on this, the dishwasher leaked and the pipe that flooded my room burst again when I got back from fixing a flat tire. I feel like an OBM truther with an active hit or something (/joking, very joking). Anyway, here's the first half of a Timeloop MC. The second half will happen... eventually. I'm very invested but and life and computer access keep testing me. lol ___

Waking up in your bed wasn’t the surprise. For now, there was a moment of hope. Had you done it? Had you managed to escape? Your feet hit the cold stone floor and you know that you shouldn’t get ahead of yourself. Yet. Belphegor wasn’t at breakfast. The drop in your mood is noted, but no one yet knows you well enough to ask. So that night, you travel up the stairs, standing at an arm's length.

Belphegor berates you for trusting him. You remember that it used to break your heart to hear him talk to you like that. Now, it’s just easier to get it over with.

Again.

You wake up in your bed.

Leviathan was angry that you thought you might have answers he didn’t. Enraged that, in the end, you did. Blinded by his passion and envy, he hadn’t even connected the dots of sharing space with his favorite author. In your confidence, this time, you push him past the edge.

Mammon wasn’t quick enough to save you. Yet if you’d let Levi win, he would have killed you anyway. It was something you’d already tried. Just as you’d tried this. Over, and over.

Again.

You wake up in your bed.

You’ve never lied to Asmodeus. You know his powers don’t work on you, but on one of the tries, you just let him think it does. Naturally you tell him the truth at every moment, yet in his own paranoia, he pulls out your heart- just to be sure. It’s strange to hear how quiet your body is without that heart. Without a pulse. The first time was horrible. Now, at least, you can appreciate the swiftness and the expensive perfume as you pitch forward into his arms.

You’re not sure if his brothers ever forgive him entirely, or if the exchange program goes on. It’s not like you’re someone as important as Solomon. Sometimes you think that his end is your favorite, because it’s always out of love. Twisted, scorned, strange love.

Again.

You wake up in your bed.

It’s getting old. You’re learning. Don’t be surprised by the way that Diavolo greets you. His butler is watching. Accept your place and stand up to Mammon, because he needs to know that you’ll fight. He needs to know that he’ll have a chance to get to you, when you need him, even if you already know he won’t be. 

This time, when Lucifer tells you to guard the fridge at night from Beelzebub, you fail. Everyone is asleep. There wasn’t anything you could really expect them to do. It’s part of your internal debate on whether or not they even find evidence of your fate, or just fill out the paperwork to report you missing. Again. You wake up in your bed.

Satan offers you his pact. You know it’s reactionary… … You also know there’s no ‘right’ answer. If you accept, he’ll resent you for acting on his moment of weakness. If you reject, he’ll find your rebuff a personal affront to his importance. He’s angry beyond logic, beyond reason, but this time you try once more. There has to be a way out of this. In other tries, Satan is your friend. He shares his mystery books and his academic skills to try and help. It never works, but there has to be a way.

At least, like Asmo, his fury makes your end swift. Unlike Asmo, his rage doesn’t stop when your heart does. You imagine he goes on to destroy the rest of the house, the way you’re told he did when he was young. Again. You wake up in your bed.

Lucifer looms over you in the crypt, furious at your discovery with his brother and Luke. You can’t even blame him. It’s an invasion of privacy that you hadn’t even considered in context. Yet. You can’t bring yourself to really be upset, either. This only adds to his fury.

“Do you actually think I’m going to allow a lowly human that choice?! THAT YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT?!”

No.

No, Lucifer, you never offer a choice.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Numbness is the only thing you can feel. There are no more unexpected turns. There are no more arguments that you’ve muttered to yourself for hours or days just to use them on the next try. Death is always the result, and it’s the only way that you can have a moment of peace. Otherwise it’s yelling or bickering or life threatening situations. Mammon tries, he always tries. You’ll forgive him every time for his greed, because it’s the only thing that’s never killed you.

You wake up in your bed.

You wake up in your bed.

You wake up in your bed.

It doesn’t matter if you roll over and sleep in or if you tear apart every piece of fabric that you can twist your fists into. It doesn’t matter. It always ends, it always begins again. It goes. Over and over. The only metric that you can measure by is how it will make you feel in that moment. Today, you are just… tired.

It’s old. It’s ancient. You’ve learned. Don’t be surprised by the way that Diavolo greets you. His butler is watching. Accept your place-... The butler is watching. Has he always looked so sad?

This time, when Lucifer tells you to guard the fridge that night from Beelzebub, you know that if you do not get out of bed, the wall will collapse in on you. It will be because Beel finds his pudding missing. Suffocation is the worst death, so you pull yourself from the warm blankets to head around the corner to at least find something swifter than asphyxiation.

The butler is there.

He has brought a feast.

It’s the first surprise you can remember feeling.

Beel eats what has been brought from the castle, and goes to bed. You stand, in disbelief, with your hands in hot water as you help wash the dishes. The Demon Prince’s servant is gone shortly after. He hasn’t said a word.

You slip back under your covers, the sheets still slightly warm from your earlier presence.

You wake up in your bed.

Again… 

You suppose. 

The new day feels different. Yet the same. 

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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[yangbbokari]

hiii, im back again!! I’m totally inlove with your part 2 of the bet !! I just thought of another angst (I know sorry 😭) but what about stray kids pushing reader away, avoiding them at all costs because of something (idk😭) and reader thought the wrong idea and started to overthink but reader ended up going on a walk but ran into a friend and started to talk to them, not noticing the time, the sun setting, And their phone blowing up with miss calls and messages from their lover. They totally forgot about everything. Then reader finally heads home after their friend telling them they have to go and once they walk in they see their worried/sobbing significant other.

- 🧈

sry that this took so long anon😭I've just been real lazy as always

Needed Space

Pairing: Han Jisung x gn!reader Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/comfort Warnings: Yelling, crying, language, i think that's it Summary: You give Han the space he wanted so badly and he grows worried. A.N.: Hehe 🧈 anon…. I got lazy again as u can see but I’m finally done😭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was the week of the comeback so you knew it’d be busier and Han would be more stressed. But even so, you didn’t expect him to distance himself this far.

It got to the point where only a few words were exchanged and you only saw him about twice a week.

One day, Han decided to take a quick break. It wasn’t really a break since he was still working on different pieces of music, but at least he got to stay at home.

“Hey… Hannie? Have you had something to eat yet?” You timidly asked as you stepped into the room. “Hi, baby. I’ll eat in a bit. Just let me finish this real quick.” You softly sigh, walking up to him and made him look at you. “You already said that hours ago. You need some food in your system to finish your work.”

He shoved you away, nearly knocking you off you’re feet. “Look. I already told you I’ll eat later! I don’t have time to humor you so just leave me the fuck alone.” Your boyfriend didn’t even spare you another look before returning to his work.

You could only nod your head slowly. You slipped out of the room and grabbed your things. You knew he was just stressed but you couldn’t help the tears that pricked your eyes.

You thought about tell Han that you’d be out for a minute, but he did tell you to leave him alone. So you just left the house. ~~~ You didn’t even notice the amount of time that had passed until the sun began to set. Your phone had died a while back but you wanted to spend a bit more time by yourself.

Seeing the sun set, you knew it was time to finally return home. You hoped that Han would have cooled down down by the time you got back.

You didn’t really want to return to an angry Han so you trudged your way home. The pebbles and leaves seemed so much more interesting all of a sudden.

There was still a good distance between you and your home when you heard someone running towards you. Your terrified eyes quickly softened when a very disheveled Han stopped in front of you.

He wrapped his arms around you and cried into your shoulder. Pushing you away a bit roughly, checking your sides to make sure you weren’t injured.

“Wh-where were you? I got so scared.” He asked, still worried.

Your eyes held the softest comfort in you for him. “I was just at the corner cafe, baby.”

“We’re you going to leave me? I saw that all your most important assets were gone and I began to think that I finally scared you away for good.” He threaded his fingers through his hair rapidly before continuing to ramble to you. “I didn’t mean to yell at you, sweetheart. I was just so so stressed and frustrated. I know that’s no excuse to treat you the way I did. But I’m just trying to explain to you because… because… because I’m scared you’ll leave me and I just really want you to stay by my side.”

“Hannie…”

“Please don’t leave me…”

“Hannie…”

“I’ll do anything.”

“Hannieeee….”

“You mean everything to me and I really don’t want to lose you.”

“Hannie!!”

He slightly jumped as his eyes met yours. “Y-yes?”

“You’re rambling again. It’s fine. I know you were stressed and that’s why I gave you the space to calm down. You mean a lot to me and I wouldn’t risk losing you over a small argument.”

Han let out a breath of relief with a smile before hugging you. “Thank you for forgiving me. I’m so sorry. I can’t promise but I’ll try to be better for you.”

The two of you walked back home together. You were glad that he was by your side and so was he.

[cavillsbitch]

May I please request Hotch x Fem!Reader where the reader has low self-esteem and self-worth, hiding herself away from society and thinking she is unworthy of sex or love?

Worth It

You watched Aaron in the mirror as he set two different ties against his suit to see which he would rather wear, asking you again what you thought.

“You always look good, Aaron, but I think the red.”

He nodded, setting the other tie down and getting to work with the fabric around his neck. He was getting ready for a fancy work function, a gala or dinner of come kind. You didn’t remember exactly what, you just remember the horrifying feeling your chest became overwhelmed with when he asked if you’d go with him.

You felt guilty for declining his offer, thinking about it too much, wondering if he would prefer having a more secure partner to do all of these things with. The thought of buying (or god forbid, Aaron buying you) a fancy dress that you would only wear this one time, knowing you would feel completely ridiculous, feeling everyone’s eyes on you as you sauntered in on Aaron’s arm, sticking out like a sore and sad thumb was an absolutely nightmare. You knew you’d be following him around like a lost puppy, or sitting alone as he mingled with his very important colleagues. You were so proud of him and still so awestruck that a man like him wanted to be with you, but you felt completely undeserving of being seen with him at such an event.

He turned around to you as he finished tying his tie, gesturing to you to adjust it if needed. You smiled at him, god he was so handsome. You shook away the thought of his eye wandering to the other beautiful women he would see tonight, wishing that he had someone beautiful to bring. You stood and softly flattened out his lapels and collar, straightening his tie.

“Sometimes I feel like you leave it crooked so I can fix it,” you say, smoothing the shoulders of his jacket, trying to avoid looking him in the eye, “I’m sorry you’ll be going alone tonight.”

He stopped you for a moment, grabbing your hand at his shoulder and giving it a light squeeze as he brought it to his chest. “Of course I wish you were coming with me, but I’m not upset with you, you know that, right?”

You tried to make your nod convincing, but most of your gestures like this were hopeless in the eye of your experienced profiler boyfriend. He spoke up again, “Honey, I mean it.”

You sighed, looking down at your socked feet and his very expensive dress shoes, “I know, Aaron. I just… I know you deserve to have someone to go with.”

Aaron stopped for a second, thinking about your choice of words. He is well aware of your past few relationships being on the toxic side, and he was aware that your insecurities ran deep. He felt sadness every time you denied him spending money on you or taking you out for dinner because it was unnecessary because he knew you didn’t feel that you deserved it.

The two of you haven’t been together long, only just over three months, and The L Word hadn’t been exchanged yet. You actually hadn’t even slept together yet, which was something Aaron was willing to wait for until you were ready. You felt guilty, knowing he was stressed from work and that he deserved someone who could ease that stress for him in the bedroom, he deserved to have someone to come home to who could love him the way he deserved. There were a lot of things that you wanted for Aaron that you didn’t think you could fulfill due to your insecurities. You tried, most of the time, to look past it and to put on a brave face but it didn’t always work.

He took your other hand in his, “I wanted to go with you, not just anyone. I want my friends and colleagues to see me happy with the woman I… the woman I love.”

This made you look at him with wide eyes, “What?”

He smiled, “I’m sorry, I know that was a less than romantic way of saying it, but I couldn’t help it. I love you, and I want you to know. I need you to know.”

Your eyes welled up with tears, feeling a mix of happiness and guilt. Of course you loved Aaron, he was so easy to fall for, but you would never dare admit that to him before he did to you. You felt guilty because you didn’t feel that you deserved the place in his life where he now put you. You weren’t saying anything, too many thoughts bouncing back and forth in your head, so he spoke again, “Honey, why are you crying?” His thumbs came up to gently wipe the tears coming down your face.

You sighed, shaking your head, “I don’t know. I love you too, Aaron, I really do. It’s impossible not to, it’s just… it’s hard for me. I don’t feel like I deserve those words from you.”

Aaron brought his hands gently to the sides of your head, tilting it up to meet your eyes with his. The look on his face was so genuine it made your chest tingle, “Y/N, you deserve every word. You are one of the most beautiful and supportive women I have ever met. You welcomed my son into your life, you stick around despite my insane work schedule, you are funny and so smart. You are worthy of love, and worthy of my love. I will spend every day proving that to you.”

The tears continued, and you felt yourself wanting to believe him. Before you could respond, he kissed you. This kiss was different, it was firm and passionate. You couldn’t help but melt into him as his arms came around your waist. Your hands caressed the sides of his neck as you kissed him back. For a moment, Aaron pulled away to speak in a hushed tone, “Let me show you how much I love you.”

You shook your head, “You have to go. That can wait for later or another time, it’s okay.”

You felt his hands wander lightly under the hem of your shirt. He tilted his head down to kiss your neck right beneath your ear before talking lowly “I can be late.”

“Aaron…” You were nervous about your first time with Aaron, worried that you were going to disappoint him. You also trusted him, and loved him, and knew that if you felt nervous that he would be there to guide you through it. You took a deep breath, “…I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Your eyes were closed, not able to look him in the eye as his forehead rested against yours. He rubbed a hand up and down your side, “If that’s the case, Y/N, then we don’t have to. I just need you to understand how much love you deserve, even if you don’t believe me.”

You opened your eyes, and met his. He was so ready to give himself to you fully, and you were standing in his way, literally. Another deep breath and a collection of your thoughts was what you needed, plus, he spoke again.

“You have no idea how badly I want to make you feel good, how good I can make you feel…”

For some reason, this made your skin hot and your breath hitch. Men you’d dated before hadn’t been like Aaron. You’d slept with other men before, men who’d wanted to use you to get off, men who didn’t care about your pleasure, forcing you to believe you didn’t deserve it. However, you couldn’t help but be so painfully attracted to him. You fantasized about your own boyfriend more than you dared to admit, and this was the moment for you to take what you wanted if you ever had it.

“I… I want you, Aaron, I do… I’m just n-nervous.”

Aaron shook his head and kissed your forehead, “You have nothing to be nervous about. If you want to stop, just tell me and I will stop,” he kissed you, lifting your shirt over your head and kissing you again. As he was shrugging off his suit jacket, you broke the kiss.

“What about your thing? You’re going to be so late…” You could barely make the end of the sentence as his hands trailed up your bare back to unhook your bra, which he did very adeptly.

“You’re worth it.”

[jongseongsnudes]

sixteen.

warning; someone’s getting quite protective ???? 👀 1.4k words.

masterlist.

“mum!”

you leave sunghoon’s arms and run over to your mum who you haven’t seen or spoken to for some time, your eyes almost in tears at someone familiar in such a big crowd. but of course you don’t forget to politely bow your head at mr park standing right beside her.

“my baby, how was your trip with sunghoon?” she wraps her arms around you lovingly, stroking it gently like how she always used to, “you should’ve called to let me know, i was so worried. luckily sunghoon let me know.”

“ah well... my phone is broken right now,” you glare at sunghoon who had just caught up beside you, the man smiling at your mum like the good son that he was known for, despite all the things he has called her behind her back.

ironic.

“aunty, you look beautiful.”

“thank you darling, you are as handsome as ever,” she wraps her arms around your stepbrother who does the same in return. the scene must’ve looked so beautiful to those watching, which was practically everyone, but you knew it was anything but that.

as the four of you continue with some light conversation, you suddenly feel a hand grasp onto your waist, making you instantly jump.

“wow you look so beautiful, love,” you immediately recognise the voice to be the one person you were dreading to see tonight. choi beomgyu, your future husband.

you watch as he interacts with your family, bowing at mr park, hugging your mum and exchanging a few words with sunghoon, the two so obviously acting civil in front of all the watchful eyes.

“may i steal my beautiful to be fiancé away for a second?” beomgyu is beaming as he asks for permission, the excited childish expression on his face almost makes you forget of the deviant beomgyu you met just weeks ago.

after your mum makes a joke about you having a curfew, beomgyu leads you away, his hand gently holding your hand as he does. you could feel eyes on you from around the room, even more so than before, the place now filled with soft whispers about the park daughter and the choi son.

by chance you meet sunghoon’s gaze within the crowd, immediately noticing how grim his expression is, maybe even angry, while watching you walk away. the man’s eyes stay on you as you get to the dance floor, making you all the more nervous than you already were. even more so than being with beomgyu.

“you truly are breath-taking, love,” the pet name causes an instant shiver down your spine and it’s not necessarily the good kind.

“thank you...” you stutter back, your tone laced with awkwardness with the way his hand was now resting on your lower back, “i don’t know how to dance... maybe you should dance with someone else?”

“don’t worry, just follow me.”

you let beomgyu sway you along to his liking, your mind too occupied on something else anyway. or should you say, someone else. from time to time, you’d glance back to where sunghoon was and to your surprise, his gaze was still entirely on you.

a moment later and you see sunghoon turning to mr park, the two sharing a very quick yet heated conversation before they disappear out the entrance.

apart of you wants to believe that their conversation had nothing to do with you but deep down you knew it just had to be, especially with the change in sunghoon’s attitude. being the reason for their discord was the last thing you needed right now. 

quickly excusing yourself for the bathroom, you rush to your mum and find out that the two men had gone up to the suite they booked earlier. so you also head up.

you can’t help but feel anxious on your elevator ride up, knowing that you may be intruding an important conversation that could very likely not be about you. but your legs were working quicker than your brain at this point, taking you right to the suite where you’re met with mr park’s two body guards who very reluctantly let you inside.

“do you understand what type of person beomgyu is? and did you forget what his father has done in the past? yet you want to marry her off to them?” sunghoon’s loud, distinct voice tells you that you’re getting closer to the two, who must’ve been in the living room, “she isn’t even your daughter!”

“i don’t need you to question me, i know what i’m doing. although the chois have a reputation, they have a stable standing that is profitable for us. she will be fine.”

“you are crazy with-”

smack.

you so daringly step out of your hiding to see that mr park had just struck sunghoon in the face, causing him fall to the ground beside his feet. noticing that mr park was ready to strike again, you rush over without much thought, fully intending to protect your stepbrother by wrapping your arms around him.

“what are you-” sunghoon is looking like he had just seen a ghost, confused by your sudden appearance.

“i already agreed to marry beomgyu so please.... leave sunghoon alone.”

if looks really could kill then you’re sure you would’ve died by now with the way mr park is narrowing his eyes into you, silently threatening you. the man then straightens out his suit, a tired sigh leaving his lips as he finally speaks up, “come down soon. mr and mrs choi should almost be here. they want to meet you.”

then he exits the suite, much to your surprise because you were just so sure that he would’ve punished you in some way. instead, you’re now left behind with your stepbrother who is still staring at you. no one says anything, the two of you staying still on the floor with him awkwardly in your arms.

“i already told you to stay out of my business park sunghoon, why don’t you listen!” you’re unsure why tears are forming in your eyes but the red mark on sunghoon’s cheek... strangely broke your heart. knowing that it was because of you, that he stood up for you made you feel so guilty.

reaching up, you naturally let your hand graze against it, gently holding over the spot where he had been hit because of you. and he let you.

“answer this and i’ll never talk about it again if you tell me not to,” sunghoon says, his voice as low as a whisper, as if meant only for your ears, “do you want this?”

silence.

“of course not... why would i want this?” you were now crying fully, tears staining your face and definitely smudging your makeup. but you couldn’t care less, not right now when you’re feeling as if the wall you’ve tried so hard to build over these past weeks was starting to crack. “but... if it means it’ll bring peace between you and your father, it doesn’t matter-”

“it does matter, to me.”

the man suddenly stands to his feet and reaches his hand out towards you, gesturing for you to hurry and take it.

“what are you doing s-”

“just trust me.”

and in this moment, after everything that had happened tonight, you really felt like you could. the park sunghoon you had dealt with these past few days was nothing like the one that is standing before you. the complete opposite, to say the least. the soft look in this sunghoon’s eyes were enough to make you feel safer, enough to help you forget about everything, even just for a moment.

“trust me.”

“okay...”

he immediately pulls you up against him the moment you grab his hand, his eyes glued onto you the entire time. maybe it’s because of your tears but you swear you noticed his gaze falling to your lips, the man even gulping right after it.

or maybe you’re probably just being delusional again.

“so- so what now?”

the soft grin that grows on his lips from your question has you naturally mirroring it, the two of you now standing hand in hand while smiling at each other. it’s weird but it’s comfortable. you don’t know why you suddenly feel something heavy on your chest, like your heart is jumping around, almost thrashing to get out.

“we run.”

end.

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[icallhimjoey]

In 120 Hours

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: You work as a temp and are offered a very exclusive interview for a very exclusive job. You see, someone needs a personal assistant for a very eventful week, and you happen to be the perfect fit.

CW / disclaimer: 18+, language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader

Author’s note: part three! quick thanks to choke-me-joey and flouraie for the stellar help I asked for and very quickly received! you're brilliant, amazing amazing, big thanks!!

Wordcount: 3.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

You learned the hard way that Joe slept with his TV on. Volume set to the number high, what ever the fuck that was - it was loud.

The sound coming from upstairs only stopped when you went for a morning shower, and you thought to yourself, actually, Joe, you better keep that fucking TV on, because this is the perfect fucking time to watch TV now that people in your house are awake.

Getting yourself a good pair of earplugs was going to go onto your to do list of that day.

In the shower you had flashbacks to the night before. Of how Joe seemed to always either be holding two drinks, double fisting it, or none at all, both hands then hidden in his pockets instead. Of how he fiddled with one of his rings with the thumb of his same hand over dinner, making you realise you'd been doing the same thing with yours. Of how he’d spoken to important important people, just for a second, said hi, shook hands, exchanged pleasantries and then immediately went to find you again to stand next to. Of how he'd introduced you to every single person that stopped to talk to him, and he would just give them your name. No occupation. Just, your name, no further information.

You would see their confused faces, and wouldn't hesitate to explain that you worked for Joe. All of them would relax instantly when they learnt you weren't important. There was no need to impress you, and so, full attention would return to Joe as they talked about the film they just saw, all the people it involved, and then about all the things they knew about Joe. People just kept telling Joe things about himself, and it was odd, but Joe acted like they were totally normal conversations to have with random people he'd just met.

You didn’t understand what it meant when they told you, "Joe tends to wander", because every time you stepped away from him, even just to give him some space, he’d search for you. The first time it happened, you were sure it was just to check if you were all right, but then it kept happening. Even when you went to the toilets, you found Joe right outside the doors with an air of soft cluelessness about him as you stepped back out.

But then someone would come up to him, and it’d vanish in an instant.

People loved Joe.

They had good reason to. You understood. Seeing up close how Joe made the most intense eye contact with every single person he spoke to, really listened to them, tuned in properly, you got to see how all of them fell in love with him. Men, women - just fucking everyone.

Made you realise that the spell you were under was a universal one. Good. So it wasn't really your fault. It was all blood on his hands, not yours. And it seemed like Joe didn't even notice his effect on others. He carried a charming obliviousness that only heightened it all. Either that, or he really was that good of an actor.

You mingled a little yourself, found some other personal assistants and after talking about the celebrities you all belonged to – just vague descriptions, everyone was tied back by extensive NDAs, which was fine, you wouldn't know half of the important people anyway – you found there was literally nothing else you had in common with them. They were all nineteen year-olds, dressed to the nines like they were celebrities themselves, all eager to be influencers with perfect insta themes. And you were just a temp, chasing money and if you were lucky, a good time alongside that.

You were lucky. So far everything about this job had been pinch-me moments stacked upon each other and it was already getting hard to reach.

You had two sips of a drink until you saw how Joe was necking his, then decided, maybe it was best if you stayed completely sober. You spent the rest of the evening declining drinks from Joe until you started feeling rude for it.

"Are you having fun?" Joe asked when he started getting tipsy.

"Are you?" you spoke around a laugh.

"I am!"

"Then so am I."

You’d lost count on how many times you’d told your driver sorry after he’d waited outside a random pub for over an hour because Joe had found a couple people that wanted to keep the party going. Cut to two hours later, and Joe was asking people for a lighter with a cigarette hanging from his lips, knowing full well he had one in his own pocket. Joe was drunk, and it was a bit silly how you ended up having to push Joe into the car, onto the backseat, your hands with their fingers spread wide on his butt cheeks because, "Move over Joe, I have to fit in there too."

Joe’d slept the whole drive home.

Joe's day didn't need to start until noon, which is when you'd be picked up to go to a New Upcoming Talent panel that Joe got to speak at. This granted you time to get some things done whilst he slept upstairs still.

You got breakfast. Accepted the Tesco delivery and organized the fridge. Screenshot a lot more furniture for Joe to look at later. Laid out a bunch of sharpies beside a stack of the Eddie photographs - on the kitchen counter, because Joe didn't have a table - because there were five thousand of them, and they all needed to be signed as soon as possible.

And you kind of wished you could sneak into his room to get your hands on those messy suitcases, sort those out, but you weren't that insane. Not yet, anyway.

Joe's schedule said wake-up call at 9:30, and so at 9:30, you called up the stairs,

"Coffee?"

And got a groggy, muffled "Please," in return.

"Knock, knock," you said, not even knocking, but Joe's bedroom door was already open and he was still in bed and maybe that was why you'd been able to hear his TV all night. "Good morning,"

"Morning," Joe forewent the good. He was hungover.

He was lying on his stomach, his duvet only half covering him, and he pushed himself up onto his elbows, half hugging his pillow as he watched you place down a coffee on his bedside table.

"What's your favourite colour?"

You just stood beside his bed, and it took Joe a second to fully grasp what you'd just asked him. He looked up at you with squinty eyes, one of them practically closed still.

"What?"

"Your favourite colour,"

"It's," Joe let himself fall back into his pillow. Curls everywhere. "It's too early for that shit, which fourteen-year-old wants to know?"

"This one." you said, pointing a quick finger at your own face. Joe didn't see. "For your house, I'm getting you furniture. What colour won't you get sick off being around all the time?"

"Lime green," Joe spoke into his pillow.

"Fuck off,"

Joe grinned, eyes still closed. Then he took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of coffee and remembering it was right there within arm's reach.

"I don't know, do whatever," he propped himself up again, now reaching for his coffee and going in for a sip.

"Careful," you warned, because you really would do whatever.

"All right, give me a second," Joe said, "Let me finish this and have a shower first,"

"Yes, of course!" you said, instantly aware that it was weird that you were in Joe's bedroom, staring at his bare back, shoulder muscles working and on full display, and you started making your way back to the door.

"Breakfast is waiting in the guest room,"

"The guest room?" Joe looked back over his shoulder, face scrunched up in confusion and you guessed in pain from his hangover.

"It's the only room that has actual seating,"

And so half an hour later, you were sat opposite Joe in the room you'd tried your best to sleep in hour earlier, with the bed made to look like you'd never even touched it. At home you never made your bed, but, knowing Joe was going to be sat eating breakfast in this room made you tidy yourself into non-existence.

After Joe asked four times if you had also made yourself a coffee, and if you really had already eaten, he tucked in and you used the moment to show him pictures.

Joe liked everything, which didn't help. So you made him choose between some, and got a sense of what he liked.

"Are you sure that I'm really allowed to just... get you things? Furnishing a house isn't exactly cheap, you know?"

Joe chewed, swallowed a bite, said, "Yea, you've got a card, right?" and went in for another.

You'd been given a credit card to use for whatever Joe wanted and slash or needed. It was one of the fancy ones: shiny, black, didn't even have a name on.

"If you don't give me a budget, I'll max it out,"

"Go for it, enjoy yourself,"

Fuck. Joe was already sexy enough as it was. He didn't need to be telling you things like that, Jesus Christ.

"Can't make it any worse than it is now,"

And you disagreed, but you didn't say anything. Instead you went over the schedule for the day.

Panel. Two film screenings. Industry Happy Hour. Those were the big things. Tomorrow there was an early morning photoshoot, so maybe, let's not do pubs after until late again, you said, and Joe just smiled, said, "There's always pubs after," but you'd given him a face, as the hypercompetent personal assistant that you were, and then he'd just nodded.

That afternoon you were sat in an audience, down near the front, but all the way on the side, and Joe was up on a stage with several other people - none of whom you knew - and it was all questions about being new on the scene. Upcoming talent. What is it like to step foot into this industry? As if Joe didn't already have years of work under his belt. But fine, it was whatever.

The room was packed full of people, and you weren't sure you were really allowed to be there, hogging a seat, but Joe had insisted.

"No, you can go sit, she can go sit, right? Yea, go sit, somewhere on the side, it's fine,"

And so you'd gone to sit and listen, but not before Joe had asked if you had any chewing gum, which, of course you did. Best PA ever, remember?

You got to observe. Joe seemed nervous. You only saw because you weren't following at all what they were talking about - you were just watching Joe, and every time Joe got to answer a question, he'd look just past the moderator and looked directly at you as he answered.

You noticed you started giving encouraging little nods, like Joe was an anxious kid who was about to ask a stranger a question for the first time. You hoped it didn't come off condescending, but it honestly felt like he needed secret little signs of encouragement from you, so you gave them. You were glad Joe got to hold a microphone, because you knew that giving his hands a job meant he wouldn't be constantly fiddling. Like you were.

Later that day, with several pieces of furniture ordered, you were adding delivery times into Joe's schedule, tapping away on your phone as Joe networked, when suddenly a hand moved hair that was hanging down your face behind your ear.

No! Too soft! Too tender! Too close!

"Let's go, we're going for a drink."

"You've got a 6AM wake up call," you warned, not even looking up from your phone as your face burned up, because, what the fuck?! How were you ever going to make eye contact with him again and be normal about it? You already barely were normal about anything to begin with!

"Just one drink!" Joe practically begged, as if you were his mother and you got to tell him when to go home. Did you get to tell him when to go home? You weren't his manager. You basically kind of just had to get him from A to B, right?

"7AM photoshoot, one that'll have your face in," you looked up now, just your eyes, and then Joe flashed you that smile again. That fucking smile.

"All right," you sighed, caving far too easily. "But just one!"

"Just one, I promise. We'll make it a good one."

And then of course, it wasn't just one, obviously it wasn't, because Joe found out that a big director was at the same place you'd just walked into and with a little Dutch courage, he went to sit down next to him and they got to talk film. Joe did better one on one, two beers in front of him, in a familiar place he probably had been going to for years. He seemed relaxed, wasn't going through his drinks at lightning speed, and so you sat at the bar, drank a Sprite, kindly didn't talk to any of the guys that tried to talk to you, and stared at your notes app, the empty page staring right back at you.

What the fuck do people even say when they win awards besides thank you?

You stared at your phone, tried some things, but deleted all of it every single time, until suddenly a hand reached over and a finger typed, hi. You recognised the hand. Of course, you recognised the hand. Had you seen his hands? You'd recognise his hands.

"I'm going for a smoke, can we leave in 10?" you saw the guy he'd been speaking to - Steve Jobs kind of looking dude - step out and join the other smokers outside the pub on the pavement.

"Car's already waiting, so whenever you're ready,"

Joe raised his eyebrows, nodded like he was impressed with you. Except you hadn't really done anything, had you? You had just let the driver know where you were. Was Joe even aware that the car was always waiting for him?

You watched Joe smoke from your barstool where you finished your drink when suddenly, your phone rang.

Joe's management.

"Hello,"

"Why aren't you at home?" someone accused, and you recognised the voice. This was one of the guys that interviewed you.

Um, cool way to say hello, asshole, you thought.

"Because Joe is networking," you adopted the same accusatory tone. They'd been very clear on the networking, had said Joe had to do a lot of it. So surely, this was good. You were doing a good thing.

"Industry Happy Hour ended over an hour ago," he sighed in frustration. "Did we not tell you Joe wanders?"

"Joe's not wandering! I'm looking at him right now! He's talking to-"

"Oh my God, he took you wandering with him?"

You frowned in confusion. Did wandering mean going for unplanned drinks? If that was the case, you wandered in your free time a lot.

"He took her with him," you heard him say to someone else. "That's why- Jesus, okay," back to you now, "He's not answering his phone, please tell him to answer his phone, and get him back home as quick as you can, he's got a-"

"6AM wake up call, I know,"

You didn't appreciate this check-up that was really doing its very best to make you feel inadequate and bad at your job. What were they expecting of you? You had reminded Joe of his early morning start the next day, but he had wanted to go for a drink anyway. So what?

You got a few more questions about expenses made that day, and you explained that Joe asked you to buy some things for the house. You weren't going to tell him that technically, you'd asked Joe if you could decorate literally the whole thing, and he'd given the go ahead without much further thought. What was the use of giving this guy more reasons to yell at you?

"All right, just making sure. I'm sorry, I guess we just assumed someone would be home to sign for some scripts we sent over."

And that was that.

Joe knocked on the window, caught your attention and nodded his head for the two of you to leave.

In the car on the way back, you asked Joe to check his phone, and he groaned when he did. Eight missed calls and three messages asking him where he was and why he wasn't answering.

"I'll call him back tomorrow,"

"No need, he just needed me to tell you to answer next time,"

Joe chuckled, got rid of all the notifications and then put his phone away. You stared out of the window at London passing you by, until you felt Joe's eyes on you. When you turned to look, he smiled politely.

"Did you have fun?" he asked, just like he had the night before.

Did you have fun sitting around, waiting for Joe to finish watching films? How were you going to break the news to him delicately?

"Um... did you?" you asked diplomatically, and it made Joe huff out a laugh through his nostrils.

Actually, you did have fun. Buying a lot of things with money that wasn't your own was a different kind of thrilling. Retail therapy with a different kind of guilt attached. Fun though, still. Definitely fun. You were about to tell Joe, but he beat you when he asked,

"Not that into the attention you got, then?"

You frowned quizzically. When had you gotten attention?

"Oh, come on, I saw at least six guys come up to you tonight, giving it their best shot," Joe revealed and you scoffed loudly. Cool, cool, cool. No, it was fine to learn that Joe had been looking at you for prolonged periods sat on a barstool all night. Definitely, so fine.

"Yea, all right," you instinctively brought fingers to your ring, and you reached for the wrong finger first, before finding it on your other hand and you saw Joe look.

"They did!" Joe argued.

"Stop," you shoved his arm, gave him a look, and you both laughed before you turned back to look out the window, and for a little while it was silent. You liked London at night better than during the day, you thought. Less people. Streetlights on, all of them reflected on the wet streets. Not necessarily quieter in some places, but still nicer, anyway.

"No, it's good," Joe then said. "Don't want you getting distracted when you're supposed to be mine for the week."

And when you looked, he was staring out of the window too, and you couldn't read his face and fucking hell, Joe, what the fuck were you doing?!

---

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The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!