#have a lot of thoughts

[kindahoping4forever]

📸: Ryan Fleming

[springlocking-springtrapping]

you said you had different versions of william in your head, are they all the same personality or are they different (it is okay to ask?)

Oh, thank you for this headcanon ask haha. I love talking about him in general so, uh, here you go! It's gonna be long! So here's a read more!

Youngish adult William (around the opening of the diner/his collaboration with Henry)---

Charismatic, bit of a showman, fresh faced and seemingly always full of energy. I'd even dare say that his optimism at the time (prior to Charlie's murder and the first bite) is genuine. He is extremely possessive over Henry, but good at hiding it at this time, having the general self awareness to do so.

He's a great performer and does excellently in the Spring Bonnie suit when he wears it, is actually a real hit with the kids, unironically. Cannot state enough how skilled he is in the entertainment department, could have probably made a name for himself eventually if he hadn't turned to his evil ways. Switches to a light southern American accent when performing as Spring Bonnie.

Generally a very up and at 'em guy, though he's mostly just putting on a good show, he's still very reserved in his personal life and his eyes don't quite match his enthusiasm.

Adult William (post Charlie and the bite, up to the MCI)--

Far more withdrawn, the franchise has lost its novelty and he finds himself married and having children. William in my mind distinctly did not want a conventional family, but due to his severe insecurities around appearing 'normal', he forced himself to start one. Especially after Henry had Charlie.

Sometimes I see him as obsessed with Henry in a possessive, dominating way and sometimes I see him as obsessed with Henry in a competitive, entitled way. YMMV.

He does care about his kids in a sense, but not the same way someone with a fuller sense of compassion would. He is particularly locked on Michael (not in a gross way just fyi) because Michael resembles him so much. William suffers from episodes of hating or loving Michael, because he essentially sees himself in his eldest son, and because he hates himself so damn much, he's prone to losing it on Michael.

Elizabeth is special to him because she looks almost nothing like him, but appears to share his general demeanor. William feels protective of her, and does spoil her a bit.

CC/Evan is the child he pays the least attention to. In truth, he can't stand the boy's sensitivity, and finds himself feeling disgusted and put off at how fearful and weepy CC is. Out of all of his kids, CC is the one he disdains the most and tends to neglect. (obvs CC is dead at this point though)

William at this stage is very unstable. He survives his first springlock failure at some point and becomes morbidly fascinated with it. He begins to experiment with self injury for gratification, and even begins to deprive himself of sleep and food in favor of working feverishly. Subconsciously, he is punishing himself without realizing it.

This is when he starts to feel an itch for more violence, generally speaking, to the point of obsession once more. He loses Elizabeth somewhere in this time period as well, and obviously it serves to further demolish whatever soul he had to begin with.

And, of course, he conducts the MCI. William finally gives in completely, his family has fallen apart but he doesn't feel particularly heartbroken about that so much as he does about his failure to be a normal human being. He feels helpless, powerless.....And so he breaks.

He lures the kids, he kills them, he feels in control again and powerful and, hell, even superior to everyone. In William's mind, he's like a god for just a moment, the taker of life, the blade of death. He gets to decide who lives and dies. And he stays like this, arrogant, even deranged, suffering from actual delusions and sadistic urges.

All the way up until he gets crushed in an agonize springlock failure!

Springtrap----

As Springtrap, William is angry, in near constant pain and pining for release in the form of shameless violence. He is still very clever, although his extremely traumatic death and subsequent 30 years of lapsing in and out of consciousness have eroded his sense of humanity almost entirely.

Depending on the AU he's in, this can go one of two ways.

The first version I imagine is an almost animalistic, violent, remorseless Springtrap that can and does play games with people, their feelings and their lives freely. He, like in the games, pretends to be a simple animatronic, limps or freezes in his victim's view, but is actually perfectly capable of very fast and fluid movement.

In other words, he pretends to be a slow, shambling zombie suit (think back to his skills in performance) in order to toy with whoever's unlucky enough to be there. Springtrap rarely engages in conversation with his victims either, so it's hard to tell what he is or if he's even aware at first.

This Springtrap is 100% sadistic, remorseless and brutal in every way possible. I consider him to be William basically fracturing into something bloodthirsty and lethal, William Afton hardly exists anymore.

The other version of him is a bit different.

After suffering the traumatic springlock failure and having the last 30 years to reflect while locked in the saferoom, he comes to his senses in a way, though he's still very jaded and angry. Springtrap is not as prone to immediate violence, although he generally has no qualms killing anyone that is making a fuss about his appearance/existence (think someone screaming and freaking out, his first instinct definitely isn't to comfort them.)

HOWEVER.....

Should anyone come along that talks to him like a human being, and treats him with a measure of respect, Springtrap will find himself slowly warming up to their presence. He starts to understand what actual, non-toxic connection feels like, though he still greatly struggles with jealousy and withdraws easily.

More or less he calms down, is still more than capable of killing but doesn't go out of his way to do so like he does in the other version. Patches his suit up a bit with the help of his new friend/partner, tinkers on himself and enjoys doing so, teaching his friend/partner a little bit about robotics as he goes.

Obviously, as his former crimes were horrific, whether or not he is ultimately forgiven by Charlie and the other kids is up to the person interpreting him. In this version of Springtrap, I, personally, do see an atonement of sorts happening. But it's bittersweet. The kids finally get to rest, and of course none of them forgive his actions (and he doesn't want them to either) but they do let go, leaving him to his shell of a life on Earth as a corpse in a springlock suit while they get to finally rest.

This Springtrap believes that he should remain stuck as he is, frozen in time where he suffered the first real consequence for his actions. He doesn't express it often, but he is in very much in constant pain and sees this as a suitable way to remind himself of his sins.

Dave Miller---

So in this universe, as Dave, William is a lot more unhinged, just like his counterpart in the novels. Dave is very obviously a bit underweight, sleep deprived and generally unwell health-wise. He has very little regard for his wellbeing, yet also has a severe god-complex where he believes he deserves to be served, if not outright worshipped.

Dave believes himself to be above everyone else, AND he's a huge coward. Like my baseline William, he's a very good performer and actor, but not because he ever wanted to be. It's because he has a crippling, visceral fear of how others perceive him. Even though he basks in the idea of being some powerful person lording over others, he has an almost compulsive need to be viewed positively.

No matter what he tells himself, he's very rejection sensitive. And he always needs to be in control. When Dave is alone and nothing is going on, he's very much drinking himself into a stupor, chain smoking and just generally being as miserable a lump as he can be. Not that he'd ever show or admit it.

Like in the novels, he uses Spring Bonnie as a sort of....armor. Like he puts on the mask, but it's more like taking off the mask for him, because he can become something more true to his ideal self. When wearing Spring Bonnie (even just the helmet), Dave feels empowered. This is because it also hides him, hides his shameful and frankly pathetic real self and covers it with a persona that can bypass his self consciousness.

Out of all of my personal Williams, Dave is probably the one I'm most affectionate for in the general sense, just because I understand his brand of insecurity very well. Also he's just so ugly he's hot???

Anyways, thank you again for the question! Feel free to ask more about these guys if you want!

[druidcore]

an old potter’s advice: you have to know when to give up on clay. there will come a moment where you realize the vase you're trying to build will not hold its shape. where you find you cannot smooth all the fingerprints you leave like scars on the skin. where you will feel like an unmaker, a break-downer, a destroyer. but maybe that is where all great art begins: in the fist. in the failure.

with water, we try again // d.s. 

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[sadclowncentral]

I think if a fairy showed up at my house like yeah they are not real but there is narrative precedent for that. a fairy, if it existed, would show up at a house. i just need to suspend one disbelief everything else tracks. it's a big surprise, but a singular one. i would know how to get with the programm pretty quick.

if a walrus knocked at my door there would be many more fucking questions than one. a walrus showing up at my house? knowing that knocking is the required social etiquette? having reasons to knock on my door and somehow the ability to do that despite having no arms? said walrus coming to me of all people?? a walrus being real is the least of my concerns at that point why the fuck does it need my help what kind of problem can I solve that a socially aware and apparently findextrous walrus fucking can't

[evercelle]

bust... or maybe i'll take it all!

[jeanivere]

arthur morgan tiddies and tummy thats all im gonna say

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[hunxi-after-hours]

"If rest becomes a form of recovery from work, as is the case today, it loses its specific ontological value. It no longer represents an independent, higher form of existence and degenerates into a derivative of work. Today's compulsion of production perpetuates work and thus eliminates that sacred silence. Life becomes entirely profane, desecrated."

—Han Byung-Chul, The Disappearance of Rituals (trans. Daniel Steuer)

[brucie-baby]

the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me

[octarineblues]

supporting communities & people impacted by the Southport attack and the far-right riots in the UK

here is a list of community fundraisers I found, starting with those aiming to support the Southport community after the appalling attack at a children dance party, to the fundraisers helping those affected by the subsequent racist and Islamophobic far-right/nazi riots

Edited on 5 August to include Middlesbrough fundraisers. Edited on 6 August to correct the link on the Books for Spellow Lane fundraiser, to adjust the name change for the Belfast fundraiser, and to adjust the wording in the second last paragraph.

Southport:

Southport Strong Together Appeal - organised by the community foundation for Merseyside, for those affected by the Southport knife attack

United for Southport families - the funds will be distributed among the nine families of the children who were at the party

Swifties for Southport - a fundraiser for the Alder Hey Children's charity, which supports the victims and the affected families, as well as first responders and clinicians. Extra funds will also support the wider Southport community

Fundraiser for the Southport Mosque - a fundraiser to aid rebuilding or possibly re-locating the Southport Mosque after the damages it suffered during the riots

Rebuilding Windsor Mini Mart - fundraiser to rebuild the locally-owned grocery store that was targeted during the attacks, broken into, and looted

Liverpool:

Fundraiser for the Spellow Hub - the Spellow Hub was broken into, looted and set on fire at night during the riots. The Spellow Hub is a newly created one-of-a-kind (in the UK) institution, which consists of a library as well as a community centre with a mission to help people get education and pathways to work

Books for Spellow Lane - another fundraiser for the library in the Spellow Hub, to replace the books and rebuild the library there edit: included the correct link

Hartlepool:

Fundraiser for the Nasir Mosque - the Nasir Mosque was attacked following Southport riots; this fundraiser is organised by Hartlepool citizens to help the mosque deal with the damages as well as to show appreciation for the role of the mosque in the community. edit: the funds will be also distributed to the local community!

Rebuilding the Farm Shop - the shop was targeted during the riots, and when the owner and his son tried to protect it, they were also violently attacked. The fundraiser is to help fix the damages to the store.

Sunderland:

help rebuild Citizens Advice Sunderland offices after arson - two of the Citizens Advice Sunderland offices were set on fire during the riots, and one of them is completely destroyed.

Hull:

Hull Help for Refugees - a local fundraiser to support the Hull Help for Refugees charity, the donated money will be re-distributed to community members affected by the riots

Fundraiser for Hull Help for Refugees and Welcome House in Hull - collected money will be donated to the two charities

Belfast:

help fix racially motivated damages - originally the fundraiser for the Sahara Shisha Cafe which was targeted by the far right in Belfast during the riots, now a fundraiser for all affected businesses in the area. edited to reflect the change of the name of the fundraiser to avoid any confusion

Middlesbrough:

Supporting residents after the riots - Middlesbrough has suffered so much during the riots, lots of businesses as well as just regular family homes were vandalised, had their windows smashed or even were broken into. This fundraiser wants to distribute the funds between affected people to help them fix the damages, and to generally support the local community. the newest fundraiser, imo potentially the most urgent one

Fundraiser for a Care worker's car which was set on fire - a car belonging to an employee of a care agency was set on fire during the riots while he was on shift at a care home.

If you want to donate locally but there is no fundraiser to support where you live, consider donating to your local charities oriented towards Muslim or PoC communities, or towards anti-racist and refugee organizations! And go support your local Muslim/Arab/Black/Asian/Refugee owned businesses!

If you have any information about other local fundraisers, feel free to add to the post or don't hesitate to let me know and I will add them here! We have seen so much hate in the past few days, we have to stay strong and keep supporting each other!

Stay safe everyone 💛

[yeepof]

Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.