#hawks hurt/comfort

[soleilandpeaches]

hello! i have a request if you feel comfortable taking it! maybe something like hawks coming home from a specially dangerous mission and comforting reader?

it's totally okay if you don't feel like writing it either way. you have a lovely blog and much talent 😊

thank you!

HI ANON! Thank you sm you’re just the sweetest! Ofc I will write this for you; I love love this idea! I'm going to add some reader comforting Hawks as well because the caretaker in me needs to be fed too lol.

synopsis: even after he breaks his promises, you still show him unwavering love. He doesn’t understand you, but he’s forever grateful all the same.

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, bittersweet feelings, feelings of insecurity, emotions emotions emotions

He senses you before he sees you, he can feel the vibrations of your voice, barely keeping composure and the sound of your footsteps growing in volume as you near his room. Shame runs it’s course inside him; he knew it wasn’t necessarily his fault, still, the idea of making you worry—making you cry—creates a deep and unsheltered wound inside him.

He always promised he’d stay safe, that’d he’d come back to you always. Though times like this prove he can never keep to his promises, no matter how hard he tries.

The creaking of his his hospital door alerts him of your presence, and he takes in your disheveled appearance with a choked sigh. He really doesn’t wish to cause you more anxiety, so he quickly shoots you his best-selling smile as you stand before him, unsure.

“Hey there, Sweet girl…” He says easily, turning his hand over, gesturing for you to take his hand. Your eyes, cheeks, and nose are red from your tears you wasted on him. You bite your lip as you tremble, making your way over to him before delicately taking his hand.

“I’m sorry-” you begin but get interrupted by a choked sob, he can tell you’re desperately trying to hold back for his sake, but as always, you fail miserably.

“Shhh, baby why? Why are you sorry?” He almost begs. He really doesn’t understand why you’re apologizing to him, he was the one who was reckless, the cause to your pain. He should be the one apologizing! But he lets you collect yourself to finish, gently tracing circles into your hand and playing with your fingers.

“For being upset…” you mumble, keeping your gaze locked onto your joined hands, refusing to meet his eyes in your guilt.

“I would be concerned if you weren’t.” He says gently, chuckling in hopes to lighten your mood—he does. Your lips quiver into a little smile, and you peek up to look at him. He sends you a gentle smile and a delicate squeeze to your hand as if to wordlessly say: “Don’t worry, I’m here.”

“Does it still hurt?” Your voice is still strained, causing him to wince internally. Even though he betrayed his promises to you, your concern is still his well-being, you still hopelessly love him.

He feels like the world’s shittiest boyfriend.

Even though he’s assured you in the beginning of your relationship that these things would happen, he never believed it would guilt him like this. He believed himself to be the “tough” one in your relationship. The one who’s supposed to lead and protect you. But now, he feels insecure, berating himself for being so careless.

“No baby,” he says after a moment. “No, it doesn’t hurt”

Now he’s the one holding back tears and refusing to meet your gaze. He feels your hands gently caress his hair, gliding your nails across his scalp causing him to exhale in relief.

“Look at me? Please?” He answers to your desperate plea with a short glance until he feels your hand tilt his chin upwards, then does he look at you. Your eyes swim with pools of concern, fear, and love.

“I love you.” Not being able to contain them any longer, tears escape and trickle down your puffy, red cheeks and onto the hospital tile. Your chapped lip jutted out and trembling as you wait anxiously for his reply.

He stands, carefully enough not to scare you, before he wraps his arms around your middle and bringing your head forward and into his chest. He wraps you both in his wings, cocooning you from the world as he pets your hair, shushing you as you sob into him.

He whispers your name into the air as he reminds you he’s still here, he’s okay, and he’s never going to leave you. Your wails have subsided into sniffles, indulging in his scent and his reassuring words.

He pulls away ever so slightly to stare fondly into you, his hand coming to rest upon your cheek as his thumb rubs underneath your eye. You lean into his touch, your own hand coming to meet his for another gentle squeeze of his fingers.

His forehead meets yours, heavy eyes searching yours for reassurance before he nudged his lips against yours for a tender—and searing kiss. He pours every emotion into your kiss as much as he can, hoping you can feel his regret, his compassion, and his undying love for you that words can’t express.

You meet his passion with your own, gently urging him back with a loud smooch.

“Let’s get you home, Birdbrain.” Bittersweet and earnest, you place one last kiss to his nose before sending him a small smile.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Yeah, okay.”

[hopelesshawks]

Safe Haven

Hawks x Reader

The coffee shop au that I thought would be quick and then got so out of hand so fast omg. But hopefully it's in a good way

While this fic is sfw, the blog posting it is 18+ only, minors dni

Content Warnings: hurt/comfort, egregious use of italics, unreliable narrator (almost entirely on Hawks' end), Keigo being touch starved and desperate for affection bc he deserves more of it

General Masterlist Kofi

You flip the sign at the front door of your shop from open to closed. It’s late and you’ve cut off the main lights to discourage anyone from trying to come in. The only thing lighting up the interior of the dining area is the neon sign of your logo and the spillover from the fluorescent light of the stock room in back. It’s a friday night which means it’s time to go back over your inventory in detail and make note of what needs to be restocked. Your apartment is right upstairs so you don’t mind staying even later. There’s something peaceful about the area when the moon is high in the sky and every other business has closed for the night. There’s not much foot traffic at 1am, understandably so, which makes you feel like your shop is its own little lofi haven. 

You’ve got a special playlist just for wrapping up for the night and it plays softly over the speakers as you wipe tables and counters and put away chairs. It’s easy to get lost in the familiar routine and the fall of rain outside only contributes to the easy atmosphere. As you finish up cleaning you know the stock room is waiting for you but you decide to take a second to just enjoy the moment. You lean against the front counter and let your eyes flutter shut, focusing instead on your other senses. 

The smell of roasted coffee lingers in the air, cut by the smell of the disinfectant you’ve just used to wipe everything down. Life Goes On by Agust D plays over the speakers and it pairs perfectly with the heavy patter of the rain on the windows as the storm grows a bit stronger. It hasn’t started thundering but you wonder if it isn’t far behind. If it continues into the morning the foot traffic on the road will be less which means a slower day for the shop. You can comfortably afford to have some slow days so you’re not too worried by that, if anything it may be nice to have a peaceful day considering the approaching summer will likely mean workers, students, and tourists alike flooding in to escape the heat with fresh pastries and iced drinks. 

You may have stayed wrapped up in your musings for a while yet if not for a sudden thud at the front door that interrupts your thoughts. You jump slightly as your eyes fly open. You’re not 100% sure what you expected to find. You don’t usually get entitled customers demanding entrance after closing considering you’re open until midnight and crime is rare in the area considering how frequently Hawks stops by. 

Speak of the devil…

Hawks’ silhouette is impossible to mistake. His prosthetic wings aren’t quite as grand as his original ones were but they are just as recognizable. Especially considering it’s his back that’s pressed against your door, his head thunking against it with a quieter thud than the initial one that had caught your attention. As you slowly approach the door you can already tell he must be exhausted. You can hardly believe he’s flown in this weather considering how much it’s coming down and on closer inspection he looks absolutely drenched. He’s a regular at your store, likely because it’s the only coffee shop that stays open late in the area, but that still doesn’t explain why he’s here now. Alarm bells are going off in your head that something may be wrong, which is perhaps why you find yourself unlocking the doors and pushing open the one he’s not leaning against. 

“Hawks?” you ask hesitantly as you lean out to look down on the weary pro hero. 

He blinks up at you, his eyes slightly widened in surprise. It’s clear he didn’t think anyone was still in, which only makes you all the more curious why he’d come in the first place. 

“You’re still here,” he notes and it’s not really a question but you find yourself nodding all the same. 

“Sorry didn’t mean to bother you,” he mumbles and he seems millions of miles away. It’s a bit off putting considering the version of him you’re used to seeing. Sure he’s been a bit more subdued ever since the great war against All For One and the League of Villains, but he’s still made most of his public appearances with a reassuring if not cocky grin and a quick witted tongue. None of that seems present in the man at your feet now. 

He stands again and it’s concerning how much effort it seems to take as he moves to leave so you’re quick to intercept him. You quickly surge forward to help support his weight, wrapping a hand around his arm as the other goes to his back to help support him. 

“Why don’t you come in?” you find yourself offering.

“But you’re closed,” he protests, eyebrows furrowing as he starts to shrug out of your grasp.

You tighten your grip to prevent him from going anywhere. He’s plenty strong enough that he could easily have still escaped if he wanted to but the movement still gives him pause as he brings his gaze to meet yours, confusion and something else that looks suspiciously like smothered hope marring his golden irises. 

“Doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t stay out in this weather anyway you’re soaked,” you insist. 

That seems to be enough to convince him to follow you as you bring him into the warm safety of the cafe, closing the door behind you both and locking it again. When you look back to Hawks he’s frowning down at his feet where a puddle is slowly forming as rainwater dips off every inch of him and onto the floor. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll clean it up in a moment,” you assure him as you pull him with you behind the counter.

The store room light reminds you of what you still need to get done but you ignore it for now. You’ll get Hawks set up and then come back for it. You’re not entirely sure what he needs but you have a guess of what could at least start to help him feel better, so you guide him deeper back into the store where no other customer has ventured before. He’s tracking water with each step but you don’t really care as you guide him up a tight stairwell and into your apartment. It’s small and cozy, the lighting soft to make the transition to bed easier after the brightness of the stock room lights. You pull him past all your various succulents, stuffed bookshelves, and worn leather couch, into your bedroom and then the en suite bathroom attached to it. 

“Get out of those wet clothes and take a warm shower. I’ll leave some clothes for you to change into on the bed and then you can come down and find me in the stock room if you’d like,” you explain gently.

You wait until he’s given you a nod of understanding, clearly still trying to process the generosity you’re showing him, and only then do you give him a soft smile and leave to give him privacy. You raid your drawers to find a hoodie and drawstring sweats that are oversized on you to leave for him. You leave them on the bed as promised and then head back downstairs. 

The first order of business is to clean the floor back up but it doesn’t take long. You can’t help but think of the look on Hawks’ face when he’d realized he was making a puddle. It was far from a catastrophic mess and it took you almost no time at all to clean, yet he’d looked as if he’d committed some criminal offense; as if his presence was nuisance enough and dripping water on the floor was only adding insult to injury. Part of you wonders what could possibly make such a beloved pro hero, someone who must be used to being met with praise and adoration wherever he goes, look like that. 

Then you remember the broadcast years prior that had revealed who his father is and you wince. With a father like that… Well it’s not your place to speculate, especially considering the basis for your speculation is information Hawks hadn’t willingly given. 

To distract you from wandering thoughts and the memory of weary golden eyes you begin taking inventory as you’d originally intended before Hawks showed up at your door. It’s an easy enough process, comforting in its monotony, and you almost forget entirely about Hawks’ sudden appearance at your doorstep until the man himself makes his reappearance. You’re about halfway done with inventory at this point but you pause to briefly appraise your guest. He looks more present than when you first found him outside and soft in the borrowed clothes. He’s left his prosthetics upstairs, probably to dry off with the rest of his things, so you can fully take in the much smaller remnants of his natural wings. You can tell he feels a little wrong footed so you decide to offer him a lifeline. 

“Want to help me with taking inventory?” you offer, figuring it will ease some of his discomfort if he feels like he’s helping instead of burdening you. Your instinct seems to be correct because he straightens a little at the offer and gives a somewhat eager nod. He doesn’t respond at all verbally, which throws you a little considering you’ve never seen him so quiet. Still you decide it’s best not to point this out, instead carefully explaining your process and handing him a notepad to take note of what you tell him to. 

The process moves a little faster with you able to just call out what you will need to Hawks instead of pausing to take notes yourself. Your music is still playing and it fills the silence between each note you tell him to write down. It should feel odd considering this has always been a solo process for you. You’ve got a few employees who help out but you always take the closing shift yourself since it’s never too packed for one person to handle and that way no one has to make their way home so late at night. It feels natural working with Hawks though and he seems to appreciate having a task to do. 

“That’s the last of it, how about you head up and put the kettle on while I finish closing stuff up down here?” you offer once you’ve finished. It’s ticking past 2am by now but you still can’t imagine sending Hawks home yet. Especially considering the rain is still coming down pretty hard. Again having a task to do seems to help him relax into the space and he gives you a short nod before disappearing back upstairs to do as told. You finally turn off your music and the neon sign in front, leaving the stock room light for last before going back into your apartment. 

You’re not sure how much losing so many of his feathers has dulled his heightened senses so you make sure to make a decent amount of noise as you enter your apartment, intentionally stepping on the creakier floorboards so he has plenty of warning that you’re coming. You notice that he cleaned up the puddles he made earlier and when you enter the kitchen he’s already gotten two mugs out and set them by the stove. Your gaze lingers on them as you realize he’s inadvertently grabbed down one of your favorites. He seems to misinterpret why you’re looking at them because he suddenly gets a bit sheepish. A slightly self-deprecating grin that looks closer to the Hawks you’ve seen on tv spreads across his face as he reaches one hand up to scratch at the base of his neck where he still wears his hair shorter than he once did. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to rifle through your cabinets too much but I figured I should at least get mugs for us,” he offers with a chuckle that may have been convincing if you hadn’t seen the state he was in when he first arrived. You wave off his concern with a flippant gesture of your hand, moving to the drawer where you keep all of your tea. 

“No apology necessary, thanks for getting them for us,” you reassure as you select out a chamomile tea for yourself and an even more soothing blend of lavender and butterfly pea for Hawks. The latter is one you crafted yourself, still a bit of a prototype before you’ll roll it out into the shop. It’s worked for you on especially stressful days, so you hope it can similarly help him shake off whatever it is that sent him to your doorstep. 

When the kettle goes off you quickly move to fill both mugs, pressing your favorite into Hawks’ hands even if there’s no way for him to know the significance of the gesture. Tea now in hand, you guide him over to your couch, allowing you both to settle in comfortably with your hands wrapped around your mugs and your backs pressed against opposite arms of the couch. Your knees are pulled towards your chest, he’s got one knee bent and resting on the cushion so that foot hangs off the edge and the other foot is firmly planted on the floor. He looks torn between settling in more comfortably and bolting, but a deep inhale of the steam wafting off his cup seems to help ground him. 

For a moment silence dominates as you’re unsure whether to pry or not and Hawks seems to have no intentions on being the first to say anything. It’s not a particularly comfortable silence but it’s not quite awkward either, just laden with tension at all of the things being left unsaid. It’s not like the two of you have ever done this before, although the ease of the whole process to get to where you are now may suggest otherwise. This is uncharted territory and as curious as you are to explore it, you don’t want him to spook him either. 

Just as you’ve resigned yourself to the silence, Hawks finally clears his throat to catch your attention. His gaze doesn’t leave his tea and he still looks vaguely uncomfortable, but after another moment you watch a mask slip into place as he finally forces himself to address the elephant in the room and meet your eyes. 

“So I’m guessing you’re wondering why I just showed up like this,” he chuckles and it’s more convincing this time. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” you shrug and for a moment his mouth twitches into a more authentic smile before he carefully schools his expression once more. It’s almost a jarring contradiction to see such a curated look on his face while he’s wrapped up in your comfiest clothes. 

“I owe you an explanation,” he starts but you quickly correct him. 

“You don’t owe me anything.”

The words seem to catch him off guard in how absolute they are. From someone else it would probably sound like a platitude but you say it with such conviction that he can’t help but believe you. A part of him that sounds suspiciously like his HPSC handler warns him against opening up, but your insistence that he need not explain himself has ironically made him want to explain himself to you even more. Whatever pretty excuse had been on his tongue melts away and instead he finds himself formulating something more sincere. 

“Thank you for that. Thank you for all of the hospitality actually. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here when I showed up,” he replies and the only word he can use to describe the way you tilt your head in apparent confusion is adorable. 

“But you came anyway?” you ask. 

“But I came anyway.”

“Do you mind if I ask why?”

He feels his smile go a bit sad. He doesn’t mind the question, actually he was sort of hoping you’d ask it. As deep down as he buries him, Keigo’s never quite managed to completely cut out that inner child that craves love and understanding while only getting contempt or indifference. 

“I was just… exhausted. This was on the way and I just needed a safe place to catch my breath. It’s–”

Keigo’s eyes shut as he leans more heavily into the arm of the couch and blows out a breath. 

“It’s been a long day. Too long. I needed to land and wait things out for a bit before I could make it the rest of the way home.” 

When he opens his eyes again he expects to find something akin to pity on your face but instead only finds understanding. It makes his stomach do an odd flip and he quickly takes a sip of his still too hot tea to hide any reaction that may have shown on his face. He burns his tongue in the process but at least it gives him a physical sensation to focus on and ground himself in before he does something stupid like pour his whole heart out to you. His heart’s beating just a little too fast for comfort and he needs to slow it down if he wants to avoid embarrassing himself.

“I’m really glad this is a safe space for you. If you ever need a place to crash land, I’ll always welcome you here,” you reply so innocently, so genuinely, and just like that his heart is racing all over again. Do you know what your words are doing to him? Do you realize how rare and precious a gift you’re offering up so casually?

“What if you’re not here or I show up even later next time?” he asks because part of him needs to find the catch. Every salvation he’s ever received has had a catch, why should this one be any different?

“I’ll let the employees know you’re allowed in back if you come during opening hours and I’m not here. I’ll also give you my number in case you come after hours. Just call me and I’ll come let you in, even if I’m still half asleep when I do it,” you shrug. You shrug. As if you aren’t offering him the world. He could almost cry with it so instead he just nods and drowns himself in his tea, now a safely drinkable temperature. 

Silence dominates the room again as you both drink your tea but it’s definitely comfortable this time. It’s almost unnerving how much he feels his guard lowering and the lower it goes the more he longs to reach out to you. You’re right there. If he stretched out his legs they’d likely brush yours where you’re curled up at the opposite end. It could be so easy to just close the distance, just a little bit, just enough to soothe the growing itchiness beneath his skin that creeps in when he’s at his most vulnerable. But years of abuse and strict HPSC approved training aren’t so easily overcome. 

He doesn’t move, doesn’t reach out to touch the way he so desperately wants to, doesn’t do anything even though his inner child screams and begs for it in a way young Keigo was never actually allowed to. He just sits there, drinking the tea you picked out for him and hating himself and his parents and the HPSC for turning him into someone so incredibly starved for affection and yet absolutely terrified to receive it. 

He mourns when he finishes the last of his tea. A quick look out the window reveals that the rain has stopped, which means he’s all out of excuses to stay in the warmth of your apartment. He’s got his own little safe space hidden away in his apartment that he’ll likely sleep in tonight but it feels so far away and lonely right now. Maybe you’ll hug him goodbye. You seem friendly enough to be the type to hug people goodbye and even the HPSC couldn’t begrudge him accepting it since not doing so would be rude. It would be all too brief but it would be something at least. Maybe just that much will be enough to soothe the ache inside him for a while, calm the longing until the next time he cracks and brings himself to your doorstep. It could be enough. He wants more, so much more he feels it viscerally, but it could be enough. 

“Come here,” you suddenly say, setting your now empty mug on the floor next to the couch since the coffee table is just out of reach before stretching your legs out across the couch and reaching your arms out to him. 

He blinks at you confused for a moment. Do you have a mind reading quirk or is he just that obvious? Do you really mean what you’re offering or do you just feel bad for him? Thousands of doubts fill his head and threaten to pull him into a downward spiral but when you just continue to extend the offer with a soft and genuine smile on your face, they suddenly don’t seem so loud. He still moves hesitantly, like one false or too quick move may break the trance of the room and cause you to withdraw from him. Hawks is famous for his speed, but right now Keigo’s pace is almost glacial as he sets down his own mug just as you had and then shifts forward in your space. He expects you to meet him in the middle and give him a quick hug but instead you take hold of his wrist and tug him into you with surprising strength. Before he knows it you’ve settled his head against your chest, your heartbeat right beneath his ear, like it’s nothing. Like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like this is a normal thing the two of you do together even though prior to tonight the most the two of you have done is talk and banter while you prepare his coffee. 

At first he’s stiff in your arms and it must make you worried you’ve overstepped some boundary because your arms around him start to loosen but he won’t have that. Can’t have that. Not now that what he’s craved for so long is finally right here. So he hurries to reciprocate the embrace, bringing his arms up to wrap around your torso and squeezing, perhaps a bit too tightly. 

“Don’t,” he pleads, and the word comes out so soft, so sad, so pathetic that he can hardly stand it. But you don’t judge him. Of course you don’t. You just lean down to press a kiss to the top of his head before bringing a hand up to card through his hair. 

“I won’t. You’re safe here Keigo. You’re safe,” you assure him. 

It should feel like a violation when you say his real name. It’s certainly felt that way any time someone else has said it since it became public knowledge. But somehow he just knows you’re only doing so because this moment feels too intimate for his hero name. If he told you not to use it he has total faith that you’d listen and maybe that’s naive of him. Everything from his training and upbringing tells him that it’s beyond foolish to put so much trust in anyone, let alone someone he knows as little as he knows you. 

But you’ve also been a constant in his life ever since he first wandered into your coffee shop maybe a year or so ago. At first he was just coming in because you make a mean cup of coffee and the shop is conveniently located, but at some point he knows he started coming in just for the sake of speaking with you however briefly. After all, now that he thinks about it there were definitely times he stopped by only to see one of your employees at the counter instead of you and make some flimsy excuse for why his daily caffeine fix could wait. Maybe everything has been building to this without him even realizing. Somehow you’d carved a space inside him without his notice and it should terrify him but it’s hard to see it as a bad thing when he’s here now, your heartbeat steady beneath his head and your fingers gentle against his scalp. 

“Why’re you doing this?” he asks, his voice rasping softly. 

“Because heroes deserve to be taken care of,” you say but he can tell there’s more to the sentence you’re not saying. 

He pulls back just enough to look up at you, searching your face for some sign of discomfort or regret, but he’s only met with the same hesitance he had already picked up on from your tone of voice as your hand stills in his hair. 

“But?” he prompts but you shake your head and resume running your fingers through the blonde strands. 

“Not ‘but’, ‘and’,” you clarify as you gently bring his head back to your chest. He goes easily enough and braces himself for whatever else you’re about to say. 

“And since you’ve been coming in, I don’t know. It feels presumptuous to say but I feel like the more I see you the more I can see just how much is on your shoulders all the time. I can’t even imagine how difficult that must be. How lonely. I just… I want to give you some place to lay all of it down for a little while. It’s not like I can go out and do what you do but–” 

“Thank you,” he interrupts, cutting off any attempt you might make to diminish what you’ve done for him tonight. He feels more than he hears the start of your protests, so by the time you’ve actually started to say them he’s already had enough time to sit up and force your eyes to meet his. 

“Don’t. You have… you have no idea how much this means. So don’t say ‘it’s nothing’ or ‘anyone would have done it’ or something really stupid like an apology. Just accept my appreciation. Thank you,” he insists.

He watches you nod your head with wide, stunned eyes, clearly not expecting him to be so insistent with his gratitude. It would be so easy to lean down and press his lips to yours. He can feel it in the air, that subtle tension that makes the space between the two of you feel electric. But he’s been selfish enough for one night and he doesn’t want you to think he’s only doing it because you’re here and he’s feeling vulnerable. So he uses the grip he still has on your torso to shift you both until you’re laying on your sides, legs slotting together as if your bodies were made for each other as he settles you both comfortably into place. 

“Let’s just stay like this a little longer, then I promise I’ll get out of your hair,” he whispers, his heart pounding in his chest. 

“Stay the night. Only if you want to, obviously, but… I’d like it if you stayed,” you confess, smiling so warm and sweet.

“Okay, then I’ll stay.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

The two of you end up falling asleep there on the couch, and wrapped up in you and the smell of old leather and roasted coffee, Keigo thinks it’s the first time he’s known what a home could feel like.

A/N: This was so shamelessly self indulgent and self-inserty oops. Low key worried Keigo’s dialogue came out ooc but I’ve literally been working on this all day and it’s 1:30am now so we’re sending it lmao hopefully y’all have enjoyed

Taglist: @ahtsuwu @karamfilmare @larkspyrr @hutaoscoffinn @black-rose-29 @touyasdollmain @izukiss @moonstormmyuna @kingdomkeigo @dnarez @mandalorian-baby-bird @reinersbrat @simpsfortodoroki @unlogical-ella @crowned-peony

[reidingandwriting]

domestic > keigo takami/hawks (mha)

Word Count: 3.6k

Ship: Keigo/Hawks x Reader

Warnings: Corrupt hero commission (we hate the hero commission on this blog), keigo overworks himself, keigo & reader fight, miscommunication, some cursing, keigo’s a little shit (he has his reasons okay), mentions of a rescue mission and the aftermath, hurt/comfort

A/N: So sorry this fic is so delayed 😭 Have been going Through It lately but I’ve got a few fics queued up to make up for my absence ❤️ This is my favorite Keigo fic so far

“pro hero hawks is the first on the scene!”

“pro hero hawks took down the villain that’s injured dozens, including some pro heroes!”

“another takedown by pro hero hawks.”

“hawks is finally on the scene, this should be over soon.”

-

keigo wasn’t answering his phone. which was expected for the first night. he had just come home from a week long mission and on his flight home, another issue came up that he had to answer to. he didn’t get home until midnight, having refused any other hero’s offer to relieve him once his shift had technically ended, until best jeanist all but escorted him off the scene. you had hoped keigo had been resting when you walked into your office the next morning, until you looked at the news and saw he was already back out on patrols.

when you walked into keigo’s office, you expected to see a mountain of paperwork on his desk. you were fully prepared to work all day to catch him up, hoping to surprise him by finishing all his work for him. you were the one surprised when you saw only one paper on his desk, a note for you.

‘gonna be working late tonight, don’t wait up for me’

you scowled as you read the note, even if you had to fight the urge to melt when you saw the little bird doodle keigo had signed the note with. you once again called keigo, this time his work number, and you resisted the urge to throw your phone at the wall when your call once again went unanswered. you pulled up your text conversation with keigo and began to type.

‘you’re going home tonight. i will be outside at eight and you will let me in. i am not kidding when i tell you i’ll wait all night. please, just let me know you’re okay.’

you knew the text would go unanswered, but you hoped. you hoped that he would read it, at the least. that he would talk to you. your phone buzzed and you quickly picked it up, and you sighed when it was just another text from rumi.

‘i’ve seen him pass by once or twice, but he doesn’t stop. i’ve got a few others looking out for him, i’ll let you know if i hear anything’

you set your phone down with a sigh as you sat back in the office chair. this was going to be a long night.

you texted keigo a warning before you entered his apartment. you had been given a key by keigo to use in case of emergencies, and your chatty birdbrain suddenly ghosting you is an emergency in your eyes. it was two AM when you entered, and you felt your eyes begin to sting when you realized keigo wasn’t home. a quick search on the hero network showed that he was last seen a little after ten, and none of your own security alerts had gone off at your apartment. he was at his agency, avoiding you. it stung, the avoidance settling heavy in your chest, weighing you down as if there was a physical weight on your body.

you texted a quick update to rumi before you left keigo’s, and you made the walk back to your own apartment. keigo would definitely have lectured you any other time if he knew you walked home alone, and a selfish part of you hoped he’d find out. you’d take the scolding if it meant he would talk to you.

you flinched as you heard a voice speak from beside you.

“surprised he let you walk home alone at this hour,” you relaxed once you recognized the drawl of eraserhead’s voice. “your guard bird working tonight?”

“you’re going to sneak up on me at the wrong time one day and you’re going to get your shit rocked,” you replied, no real heat to your words.

“i’ll take my chances.” a hint of a smirk graced his face before it relaxed into his usual stoic expression.

“but no, he’s not working tonight.” you paused. “not patrolling at least. he is working hard at avoiding me, though.” while you and eraserhead, aizawa, had only met a few times, you had established a friendly relationship with the underground hero. you had also developed a friendship with present mic, which seemed to influence eraserhead’s opinion of you. odd.

“that’s… different.” eraserhead says after a moment. “i’ll keep an eye out for him, and i’ll have hiz- present mic look out for him as well.”

the two of you continued to talk as he escorted you to your apartment. minutes later, you opened the door to your apartment and let the door shut with a soft click, and you barely made it to the couch before you fell asleep.

-

“ooh, rough night?” one of the tech interns, kazuki, teases as he watches you walk in.

“hilarious.” you scowled. you knew you looked tired; you woke up frequently throughout the night, unable to sleep for more than half an hour at a time. you gave up on sleep around five thirty this morning, and you clutched to the thermos of coffee in your hands like it was the only thing keeping you alive. “didn’t really sleep much last night.”

“hawks working you too hard? i saw him walking around a few minutes ago. looks like he was headed to his office,” your heart stopped at those words. was he actually here?

“thank you, kazuki!” you called as you sprinted for the elevator, reminding yourself to send kazuki a proper thank you later. when you burst into keigo’s office, you jumped back as a sharpened red feather flew at you, stopping mere centimeters away from your neck.

“shit, you scared me.” keigo smiled when he recognized you, and the sight of it filled you with anger. “oh, sorry. let me just.” keigo’s feather returned to its natural state and you swatted it away as it went to caress your cheek, not in the mood for his usually sweet antics. “songbird? you okay?”

and you couldn’t help but laugh. full body, doubled over laughs. keigo tilted his head, confusion flashing across his face as you continued to laugh. your name left keigo’s lips, and you recognized the slight movements he was making. he was twitchy, like he wanted to move but he couldn’t decide which move was the best. you could practically hear the wheels in his head turning and you looked up at the ceiling as you felt the familiar sting of unshed tears in your eyes.

“you son of a bitch,” you whispered. you looked at him and his form became blurry, the tears now sliding down your cheeks. “you, you have me worried for days. you ignored my calls and texts, i even had other heroes looking out for you!” you started to walk towards him and you stopped just out of his reach. “you went to the point of staying here to avoid seeing me. why?” you finally met his gaze and golden eyes were filled with an emotion you didn’t recognize. his gaze was cold, distant. yet still, he kept the smile on his face, the smile he plastered on for annoying news reporters.

“i’ve been busy.”

“you’re running yourself ragged! you’re going to get hurt or cause someone else to get hurt because you’re working yourself to death.” you reached out and jabbed him in the chest.

“you don’t understand. you never will, so why are you even trying to? i can’t answer every call and text from my assistant.”

“that’s all i am to you? your assistant?” you asked. you were met with silence and you felt your heart begin to break. “look me in the eyes and tell me that’s all i am to you. and i promise, from now on, that’s all you’ll get from me.”

“what else would you be?”

wordlessly, you dug your key ring from your jacket pocket. you pulled off the key that belonged to keigo’s, to hawks’s, apartment and you set it down on his desk.

“noted. since you’ve clearly got a handle on things, i think i’ll be taking the next two days off for some personal days. i’ll be back on monday, hawks.” the name felt foreign on your lips and his wings twitched in response. you wordlessly spun on your heel and slammed hawks’s office door shut behind you. you could feel the stares from everyone in kei- hawks’s agency watching you, and you briefly shook your head when you saw kazuki before rushing out of the building, straight into the rain that had suddenly started to downpour. because of course it did.

as you walked in the rain to the bus stop, you ignored the frequent buzzing that came from your pocket.

“what else would you be?” echoed through your head, and you couldn’t believe that came from kei- his lips. what happened during his last mission? you shook your head to clear your thoughts.

“just an assistant,” you muttered under your breath. “what the hell, birdie?”

-

it was the middle of the night and you were sitting on your couch, eating from a carton of ice cream as you flipped through the channels on TV. you had finished your second movie of the night when you stumbled across the news. you paused when you saw hawks’s name flash across the bottom of the screen and you wanted to change the channel. but you couldn’t.

“eight hours later, the search and rescue has been completed. over 200 victims were rescued from the destruction thanks to the effort of our number two hero. thank you to pro hero hawks for being the first hero to respond, and the last to leave the tragic scene of the collapsed apartment complex.”

the reporter continued to talk about the injuries and the casualties, and you scanned the screen for him, not seeing a glimpse of red anywhere, save for some discarded feathers on the ground. you pulled out your phone immediately and searched online for something, anything about your- kei- hawks. your messages were full of texts from rumi and kazuki. a few from present mic, even a text from best jeanist’s assistant with a message from the pro.

suddenly, there was a knock on the door and you jumped off the couch. you glanced at the time, a little after midnight. you had hopes for who it was. you also didn’t know what you’d do if it was him. you slowly walked to the front door, willing your heart rate to calm down, and you reached forward to open the door.

you gasped at the sight in front of you, your phone clattering to the floor but you paid it no attention. hawks stood at your door, covered in dirt and dust and… blood? his jacket was gone, pants torn and ripped to barely there shreds of fabric. his flight goggles and headphones were gone, hair caked in dirt and sweat and he looked like he was seconds from falling over. he looked small without his massive wings behind him, most of the feathers left at the scene.

“‘m sorry. i tried, tried to go home. you were closer and,” hawks gestured to himself. “kind of grounded. i’m sorry, i can go.” he swayed a bit. you dove forward as he stumbled, and you held him up as he leaned into you. you kicked the door shut and you repositioned yourself to better support the hero as you walked towards your bathroom. “what are you doin’?” his voice was hoarse, and you made note to grab him water, as well as a million other things once you got him settled.

“first, im gonna clean you up. get some water for you, heat up some leftovers, and get you in clean clothes before i put you in bed.”

“what? no- i. i was horrible. you can’t… you can’t be nice to me. not after everything i said.” hawks said and you shushed him.

“shh, you’re going to wreck your voice more. we’ll talk once you’re taken care of.” you walked into the bathroom and made quick work of setting up a shower. you started to step away to grab towels and you felt a hand grab your arm.

“don’t leave me. please,” he rasped and you turned to face him, your heart aching at the sight in front of you. your keigo.

“not going anywhere. just grabbing towels, yeah?” you walked with him to the hallway, and you grabbed your fluffiest towels. you then grabbed a caddy full of keigo’s favorite toiletries. his shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and oil for his wings. he was missing a lot of feathers, but you’d take care of what was left. he was hurt, your birdie was hurt. it was your turn to be the hero, to make sure he was okay.

when you returned to the bathroom a minute later, keigo’s tired eyes lit up at your return.

“let’s get you in the shower, yeah?“ you set the towels down, put his supplies in the shower, and turned on the shower to his preferred temperature. you then walked to him and placed a gentle hand on his shirt. you glanced up at him and when he nodded, you gently began to peel his uniform off him. you quickly scanned him as you removed more articles of clothing, taking note of any new injuries and were relieved to see relatively little. once keigo had been stripped, you stepped into the shower with him, ignoring the fact you still had your t-shirt and sleep shorts on. your only focus was keigo right now, and you guided him under the shower head.

keigo’s exhaustion had seemed to hit as he leaned against you, and you supported him as you let the water get the top layer of grime off him. “there we go,” you soothed as you shifted, reaching for his shampoo. “there’s my birdie,” a weak chirp left him and you smiled sympathetically. “think you can sit so i can wash your hair?”

wordlessly, keigo moved to kneel down and once he settled, you began to scrub his hair. your hands worked in his hair until they ached, getting everything from the collapsed building from his hair before you added the shampoo. you took your time sudsing up his hair, and you smiled when you brushed some baby feathers in his hairline that caused keigo to coo quietly. keigo pressed a kiss to your stomach as you worked and leaned into your touch, much like a cat being petted. you helped him stand back up once you were ready to wash his body, and keigo practically laid against the wall of the shower as you worked to clean him off efficiently but quickly.

what felt like ages later, you turned the shower off and wrapped keigo up in a towel. you used the other towel to pat your own clothes dry quickly before you started to towel dry his hair.

“why are you… being so nice to me?” keigo asked and you frowned.

“i’m always going to care about you, pretty bird. you were a dick earlier,” you admitted. “but like it or not, you’ve wormed your way into my heart. you deserve to be taken care of, kei. we both know you don’t do it enough for yourself.” you moved to stand behind keigo and you looked at him in the mirror. “is it okay if i touch them?” you glanced at his baby wings and back at him. you held the oil in your hand, letting him see what your intentions were and you panicked when you saw his eyes fill with tears.

-

keigo couldn’t believe it. he had been horrible to you. he had tried to be horrible, he had never planned to come back to you this way. but he did and you? you dumbfounded him with how you treated him. as if you had just had a little spat over him breaking your heart. he could feel your heartbeat change during the conversation you two had in his office, he could practically hear your heart breaking over his words. but when he came to you, bloody and dirty, wings practically gone, and you treated him so tenderly. so… lovingly. when the first tear slid down his cheek, a dam broke. keigo chirped in surprise as you spun him around before he threw himself into your arms. he sobbed as he clung to you, as if you’d vanish into nothingness if he let go.

your arms immediately tightened around him and you used one hand to stroke his wing, the other combed through his hair so gently, sad warbles left his throat. “whatever happened,” you started. “we’ll handle it. me and you, yeah?” keigo tried to respond but couldn’t force any words out, more chirps leaving him as he nodded against your neck. “that’s my songbird.” you held him until his sobs turned into soft cries, and the cries into the occasional sniffle. keigo’s wing twitched as he felt you began to pay more attention to the feathers, and his eyes began to well up with tears again as he realized. you were preening him.

you’ve straightened his feathers out before a handful of times, usually for shoots or press interviews. he’s never had this much attention paid to them before, never in such a caring way at least. his body became lax against you, pleased coos and quiet chirps leaving his throat every now and then.

once you had finished, you led keigo to your room. you walked to the drawer with keigo’s things and he watched as you pulled out clothes for him to sleep in. “gonna change out of my wet clothes real quick, okay?” he nodded and you smiled softly at him before walking to your own side of the dresser. the two of you got dressed in a comfortable silence and you guided him to the living room, where minutes later, you settled onto the couch with dinner. keigo stayed curled into your side and you seemed perfectly content as you stroked his hair.

what felt like an eternity later, keigo was finally able to speak again. “i tried to come home. when i got off that mission. it.. it went horrible and i just wanted you. but i fail- they had told me i failed. i wasn’t as efficient as i should be, one of the villains had managed to escape before i caught him again. if i was a proficient hero, he never would have gotten a chance to get away.” you looked up as keigo spoke, and keigo struggled to maintain eye contact with you. you always seemed to see him, and that was terrifying.

“so i was already beating myself up when they sent me to another disaster, to redeem myself,” he quoted and you scowled at the words. “and i did better, that’s what they told me. and for a minute, i didn’t feel like a failure anymore. i felt worthy of my hero title so i…”

“you stayed busy, worked harder and harder to get rid of that bad feeling.” you finished for him and keigo nodded.

“but no matter what i did, how many patrols i went on, how many hours late i worked, it wasn’t good enough. they said i’m letting personal things get in the way of me being a good hero, that i was a better hero alone.” keigo trailed off and you looked sad, yet angry at the same time.

“they were the reason for our fight.” you said and keigo hummed in response.

“still. i never should have said what i did,” keigo cupped your cheek and you leaned into the touch. “i need you to know. need you to know you’re so much more to me than an assistant. maybe i’m a worse hero for it, but i love you. i love you, so much.” keigo’s voice shook and you scooted closer to him.

“i love you too,” you whispered. you glanced at keigo’s lips then back up at him, golden gaze meeting your own. you leaned in and brushed your lips against his, and keigo let out a soft breath as he kissed you. he had kissed you countless times, but none had ever been this soft. this slow, this.. vulnerable. there was no rush, nothing you were aiming for. just the two of you intertwined, and keigo didn’t break the kiss until he was out of breath, and he smiled at the quiet whine you made. “i think,” you said after a minute. “you need a few days to recover. bed rest, doctor’s orders.”

“you’re a doctor now, hmm?” keigo smiled as he pressed lazy kisses down your jaw and you pulled a blanket over the two of you. “can’t argue with doctor’s orders.”

“bed rest is the first step in treatment. cuddles could speed up the healing process, as well.” you said matter-of-factly as you tangled your legs with his own. keigo closed his eyes as you buried your face into his chest, and as you rubbed his back, keigo’s thoughts became fuzzy.

“careful, will stay here forever.” you nuzzled closer and keigo vaguely remembered your reply before you fell asleep.

“i’d love nothing more.”

[pinoyhawks]

i'll see your heart and i'll raise you mine

takami keigo/hawks x gn!reader

Description: You can read him just as well as he can read you and he's not yet sure whether that's a blessing or a curse.

He's starting to edge toward blessing when you reach for him.

content warnings: hospital setting, whump, graphic description of injuries, brief descriptions of medical procedures, bodily trauma

[crossposted from my ao3: link]

~~~

“So you’ll never guess what I saw today.” Hawks tugs at the curtains, blocking out the golden rays of the setting sun. He knows you hate it when the sun’s in your eyes. “Do you remember that one photoshoot where I had to stick paintbrushes and scrub brushes through my hair and behind my ears and in my mouth?” 

Hawks glances back at you. The slight dip of your head urges him to continue. He gives the curtains a final tug before making a beeline for the electric kettle on the counter of your hospital room’s mini-kitchen. The water within begins to boil at the push of a button.

“When I was on patrol, I saw a billboard advertising some sort of brush for feathers and—wouldn’t you know it?—I was on it! Apparently, that was what the photoshoot was for! Brushes for feathers!” 

He shakes his head in disbelief as he tears open two packets of peppermint tea, the electric kettle beeping loudly as steam pours out of its spout. “They didn’t even tell me what the photoshoot was for while we were taking it. Wanna know what the kicker is?” 

He pauses for one or two seconds, for both dramatic effect and for the space where your answer would be, before pressing on. “They didn’t even give me one of those feather brushes!” 

Hawks dips two bags of peppermint tea in and out of two paper cups, one for you and one for him. “I mean, I’ll admit, my feathers don’t really need brushing nor did I really want one, but still. Would’ve been nice to receive some sort of care package or branded gift basket from them, right?” 

The smell from such a small portion invades his nostrils and feels like toothpicks sticking into his brain. How you drink this every night without getting overstimulated, he’ll never know, but there’s no way he’ll make a fuss about it. Not when recovery from your incident demanded that much of your independence and daily rituals be taken away from you. 

Hawks figures it must have been painful to be denied the simple joy of having a cup of peppermint tea before bed during the worst parts of your recovery. So he makes two. One for you to drink, one for him to hold. You’ll finish yours and he’ll give you his. 

He picks up the two cups and makes his way to you, treading carefully so as not to spill. From your seat on the hospital bed, you carefully pull the overbed table towards you, a safe place for two cups of tea to land. “I know it’s stupid,” Hawks says, gently placing one cup in front of you, “but hey. You asked me to talk about my day and that was the only thing I could think of.” 

You beam up at him before shaking your head as if to say, No, I don’t think it’s stupid. I’d ask for a gift basket too if they made me stick a toothbrush up my nose and took a picture of it without telling me what it was for.  

Something in his chest aches at the thought of your possible response. His grip on his paper cup tightens as he watches you breathe in the minty steam before taking your very first sip.

It’s been two weeks since the incident, hard to tell from how quickly you’re recovering physically. Dark circles still bruise the bags of your eyes, your face looks gaunter, and your skin looks a little duller than usual, but the scratches on your face are shrinking and with every change of bandages he stumbles upon, the gauze wrapped around your abdomen comes away with less and less blood. 

Yes, you’re healing, no doubt about it, but the silence that hangs over your room and fills the air like a wicked miasma tells him a completely different story. 

A quick tap on his arm startles Hawks out of his spiral. You fix him with a concerned look, brows knitted together. Hey. You’re flying off again. Come back to me . Hawks tacks on those last two words, just for himself. You’d never say those last two words, but he lets himself be selfish in that way. It’s hard for him not to be selfish when it comes to knowing ( knowing , not guessing ) what you, his very first, genuine friend, would say. 

Hawks plasters a placating grin on his face. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes, patting the back of your hand. “I’m fine. I promise.”

Your lips press together briefly before splitting into an affirmative smile, but Hawks catches the microexpression quick enough. You don’t really believe he’s fine, but for his sake, you’ll help him keep up that silly little illusion. You can read him just as well as he can read you and he’s not yet sure whether that’s a blessing or a curse. 

He’s starting to edge towards ‘blessing’ when you reach for him, palm up and fingers opening and closing. Hawks switches his cup to his other hand to take yours. As soon as his hand is in yours, your thumb brushes over the back of his, back and forth, back and forth. It’s okay. It’s okay, you seem to say. You smile up at him as you squeeze his hand tightly. It’s gonna be okay.

Hawks swallows down the lump in his throat at how the situation has turned itself around. He’s here to comfort you in your trying times, not you comfort him for not being fine. 

You’re the one who got caught in the crossfires of a villain attack, not him. You’re the one who suffered multiple blunt-force injuries in the chest, the stomach, and the head from being tossed around so violently, not him. You’re the one who could barely breathe the moment you entered the hospital’s treatment room, your breath rattling as your lungs fought to push air in and out of you from within your battered ribcage, not him. You’re the one who’s nonverbal thanks to a mix of trauma from the incident and vocal cord paralysis from your injuries, not him. You’re the one relying on body language and the notes app of your phone to ask for the simplest things, not him. 

Between you and him, Hawks is the most selfish person in the room. How dare he call himself a hero? 

Hawks drops your hand. 

For a moment, your expression falls before he takes your hand in his once more. His thumb strokes over the cracked and scarred skin of your knuckles in the same way you did his. Your smile makes his heart hammer against his ribcage. He sets down his paper cup on the overbed table to cup your hand in both of his. 

I’m here. I’m here for you. I’ll take care of you, he hopes he says as he raises your hand to his mouth. 

Briefly, he presses his lips to your knuckles. Short, but reverent in every way. I love you, I love you, I love you. 

Hawks looks up at you with bated breath, taking in your softened gaze, your teary eyes, and the pleased curve of your smile.

You set your cup down on the overbed table, right next to his, and cradle Hawks’s cheek in your palm. Something blooms in your chest, something much more powerful than fear and injury.

“Love you, too.”

[fan-dweeb]

When I say I want dabihawks whump, what I mean is I want Hawks to randomly FaceTime Dabi in the following scenario

Hawks: heyyyyyyyy Hot stuff

Dabi: Hawks???

Hawks: s-sorry. But I think- I think I might need some help

Dabi: Hawks??????

Hawks: ‘s jus’ a small scratch. But I can’t-

Dabi: Hawks??

Dabi: Hawks!

Dabi: Shit that’s a lot of blood

Dabi: You know bones are supposed to be inside your fucking body right?

Dabi: I’m on my way birdie, hang in there

[takami-takami]

Nightmares.

includes— hawks x reader. minors dni. angst. hurt/comfort.

warnings— ptsd. trauma. self harm. nightmares. touch starved!keigo. be careful and know your limits!

Keigo feels the drop in his stomach first before anything else.

His bloodshot eyes snap open, lungs gulping in air as he sits up and grasps at the sheets below.

It doesn't matter that the room is pitch black. All he sees, clouding his field of vision, is red.

Red, when he attempts to blink it away. Red, when they're opened wide. Red, even through the bubbles of tears that he claws away with his nails. Red, when he stares at his filthy palms.

Unclean.

He asks himself if he could scrape it away if he tried hard enough, could expose the fresh cells underneath– the newly formed skin that has never been touched by the sins their owner has committed. New, like the skin of a child untainted by the corruption of those who were supposed to protect them.

He flinches when he feels the drape of his feathers surrounding him. Distantly, somewhere far outside his body, he wonders if they were always this scarlet color. Was he born with white wings? Did something make them this way? Did something make them the perfect shade for concealing bloodshed?

Did someone?

The waves of panic, the ones that shake his system to its core, bubble to the surface of his throat. They taste like disgust, like shame.

Don't let the guilt control you, Hawks, they say. Don't even let the thought pass through your mind. There's no reason to be upset... This is for the greater good. This is for your own good.

That's what they always told him.

His breathing comes quicker, deeper; but no matter how wide his chest expands, he still drowns. He needs to get out of here, needs to escape, there has to be an escape route, there has to be if he can just—

"Baby?"

The room illuminates with the click of a switch. His eyes, golden color swallowing shrunken pupils, glance behind him. Your face is illuminated by the dull, amber glow of the lamp by your bedside.

You look worried. Are you okay? He should ask you if you're okay.

He blinks, eyes focused directly on you. His body feels inhuman, hunched over and trembling with his hands still cupped below him. Stiff.

When he feels the bed creak beneath him, the velvet expanse of the comforter creasing with your movement towards him, he remains still. You offer the soft touch of your palm against his, interlacing his fingers with yours, silently asking permission. He squeezes back.

Your skin is pristine. Don't you know if you do that, you'll get them dirty?

You bring his hands to your lips anyway, kiss each pad of his fingertips tenderly before you begin to speak.

"Dreams again?"

He lets out a shaky breath in response, dropping his shoulders. He hasn't stopped staring at you for a second.

"Yeah, I-I," Keigo stutters, the adreneline beginning to dissipate from his veins, but still there. "Yeah, I guess so."

You hum. "Do you need some water? C'mon, sit up, I've got you. You're okay. I'll get you some water—"

You barely get the chance to move an inch before his hand shoots out and grips your arm, tightly at first before it frightens him that he'd be so quick to reach out. That his touch would be so rough.

"No! Please, don't stop," he all but begs, voice entirely too loud for his own ears. He wishes you were talking instead. Your voice is soothing, your voice is whole. "Stay. You... Can you just hold me? I didn't want to, I had to, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry—"

You know you're not the only one he's apologizing to. You accept it anyway, with a soft kiss that melts him to the core. "It's okay. I trust you." You tuck his hair behind his ears, to which he responds by leaning into the grounding touch. "You're doing your best. You're a good person."

It's difficult for Keigo to allow himself this, but you make giving in to the comfort too tempting. He buries himself into your chest, melts into the scratch of your fingers on his scalp.

Just stay like this. Just a little while longer, he thinks. Until I can feel like a person again.

[cozzzynook]

Touya as a hero would probably still end up with his quirk hurting him so he keeps it low profile that it is hurting him even with the support gear.

In this au Touya never became Dabi and when he burned on Sekoto Peak he was found by people who lived in a nearby village. He didn’t tell them his identity when he came to and only went back home when he was fully healed.

He learns what his mother did to Shouto and sees that nothing changed while he was away.

It crushes him.

So much so he retreats into himself.

He doesn’t acknowledge the warm attempts of his siblings to reconnect. He remains polite and even tolerates Shouto being near him which was a surprise none of the todoroki children saw coming.

Nothing seemed to phase Touya not even his fathers attempts at asking him what happened. He simply blocked everything and everyone out.

He trained his power in secret and learned to build his flames to a manageable degree. He enrolls into U.A without his father knowing until he sees him leaving one morning for school. No amount of questions phase Touya as he simply locks his dad out his room.

That night Enji cried for the smile that died on Sekoto Peak.

If only he had come when he was wanted then things would be different.

Life was different when Touya came back. Shouto no longer lived a separate life from his siblings and Touya was top of his class. He was seen as remarkable for using so little of his quirk while training to become a pro hero.

He ended up spending every internship under the watchful gaze of best jeanist and Aizawa. He was aiming to be an underground hero like Aizawa but he needed Best Jeanist so he could receive the necessary credits.

Time flew by as he focused on his studies and soon he was a licensed hero.

He did it. He finally did it.

He wasn’t a failure, he was worth existing. He was worthy of being loved and alive.

So why didn’t he feel like it?

He was twenty three now in the top twenty. He preferred staying there even if he could aim higher. Even with his support gear after all these years his fire still took a toll on his health.

Touya kept that information between himself and a private doctor on the lower side of the city. He figured he’d be alright since most hero’s steered clear of the area but his luck ran short when he saw pro-hero Hawks.

Touya felt his chest tighten and his vision shake as he turned a bit too fast and started walking the other direction. He was halfway home when he felt the familiar pain. His vision blurred and his body grew painfully cold.

After the fire Touya was given medicine to keep his body from overheating, essentially bringing forth more of his mothers quirk causing his fire to shut down and let the ice in his veins run rampant. His body was suited for the cold so his organs wouldn’t shut down. But it did cause irreversible nerve damage and brought to light his weak immune system.

Trembling from the chill, Touya felt his hands shake and his fingers lock. He was still a crier at heart and right now he felt himself sniffle as the water curled his lashes. But before he could shed them his body gave out and the world grew red and gold then black.

He comes to in a bundle of blankets and with something soft tickling his cheek. With no energy to move Touya lays in the soft cocoon before a hand with sharp talons he notes, touches his forehead and he groans.

“Oh! Nova you’re awake. Don’t worry its me, Hawks. No one saw you I made sure of it. Oh wait hehe, sorry I forgot to mention I was following you..Not to be a stalker or anything! I just noticed you didn’t look well..”

“Not being a stalked I promise!”

Hawks looks even more nervous than before until he grabs a glass of water and helps Touya drink. He mumbles a weak, “thank you,” to the winged hero before shivering.

“Oh are you cold again? I hope you don’t mind but when I laid next to you it helped.”

Hawks laid next to him and his wings really did add to the winged mans already high temperature. “Its kinda funny. My quirk makes me hot but yours freezes you.”

Touya said nothing as he slowly warmed up. Hawks once again ruined the silence, “I saw the burns on your wrists and the quirk aides on your wrists..how long has your quirk hurt you?”

Touya held in a breath before trying to get up, Hawks was much stronger than he looked.

“You can’t keep going if this is what it does to you.”

“Fuck you.”

There was silence before Hawks pulled him closer, “is hurting your body really worth being a hero?”

“What else is there?”

Hawks said nothing as Touya stared into nothing, his chilling anger fading to empty sadness.

“I don’t have anything else..this is all I have to prove my creation wasn’t a mistake…”

“but it’s still not enough..i’m..its not enough.”

Hawks said nothing as he watched Nova silently cry with a broken smile.

He noticed Nova when he first debuted and since he’s had a crush on him. He knew from the beginning something wasn’t right but that didn’t stop his feelings. If anything it fueled them more.

Resting his forehead against Nova’s tear stained cheek Hawks wing presses further into Nova, “Find it with me.”

“Lets find our existence outside of hero work, together.”

The tears poured from Nova’s eyes faster and his smile slowly lowered until only his eyebrows were lifted as his head turned to the side of the pillow and cried.

For the first time in a long time, since the day he became a real pro to the fire on Sekoto Peak to the day he learned his body rejected his quirk.

𝘏𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮.

𝘈𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦.

𝘍𝘳𝘦𝘦.

[hollowtakami]

.*~+everybody’s changing and i don’t feel the same

content: reader + keigo have ptsd/c-ptsd, brief mentions of suicidal thoughts, heavily implied trauma, hurt comfort

a/n: my symptoms have flared up a lot following a string of events, and im struggling to cope, so, yk. bird man make life easier:)) also yes the title is a lyric from everybody’s changing by keane. my comfort song atm lol

For anyone else who really struggles with CPTSD like myself, Keigo understands.

He doesn’t hate you for struggling with controlling your emotions, for all the nightmares. Keigo works through the nihilism that eats away at you, he’s gonna make sure that nobody ever hurts you again, especially not them.

For every person you struggle to trust, Keigo’s love is worth five of them.

Keigo’s hands hold you through every dissociative episode, every suicidal thought. He vowed to guide you through the darkest alleys of memory lane, and he intends to keep that promise.

If you struggle with touch, Keigo will help you set boundaries. He’ll tell you if it’s okay to touch, he’ll tell you where he’s going to and how. If you’re not comfortable with any physical contact, he understands.

Keigo was the one who helped you see a therapist. He took you to every appointment, was there if you needed him to be.

If your symptoms flare up suddenly, he will never judge you. As a survivor of domestic and child abuse himself, he completely understands. He sees parts of himself in you, and he wants to save you.

In a way he couldn’t save himself, he thinks.

Helping you helped him. You are birds of a feather, and Keigo would do anything in his power to make sure you feel safe in this world.

All he wants is for his baby bird to be okay with waking up to another day.

[narklos]

"BY FORMAL DECREE OF DIVINE VICTORIA: CIRCLE OF MAGI TO BE DISSOLVED."

And somewhere in Ferelden, two fugitive apostates rejoiced!

[houseoftulips]

A Kiss of Forgiveness | K. Takemi/Hawks ~ the one where you seal your forgiveness with a kiss

─➭ pairing: hawks/takemi keigo x fem reader

─➭ mentions of: normal relationship arguments, angst but nothing heavy, fluffy ending, reader is implied to be shorter than him, not proofread because i did this in one sitting

●∘◦❀◦∘● ●∘◦❀◦∘● ●∘◦❀◦∘● ●∘◦❀◦∘●

Some would think it’s childish or others would think it’s adorable and romantic to seal your forgiveness with a kiss. It’s something that just happened to be a thing you and your husband, Keigo.

It first happened in the beginning of your relationship with the young hero way before you guys got married. A villain attack had happened in the city and the news had been given false information about keigo’s whereabouts during the fight. This, sparking rumors of him being dead under all the aftermath of the fight.

So you called him, over and over and over again. There’s no answer from him. It only went straight to voicemail.

After five long hours of being in the dark, he came back with bumps and bruises, thankfully. But what started the argument was how nonchalant he was coming back to his apartment where you were frantically waiting for him. He nearly had a deadpanned expression on his face as he stood in front of you with a distressed look on your face.

The asshole had the audacity to ask, “What’s wrong?” like the ass he’s acting like in the moment. (in your eyes)

Since you were so frustrated with his obliviousness, you started yelling at him and asking him what happened or why wasn’t he answering his phone? And being caught off guard by your sudden yelling, he went off too. Saying how it was unfair to him that you cornered him like that out of nowhere. So both of you were having near yelling match with each other for 20 minutes when you finally broke down.

Keigo’s scowl softened quickly seeing you look away from him to swiftly wipe your growing tears away. In the beginning of your relationship, he silently struggled with emotions. Often laughing everything off with a wave of his hand but shoved them away as fast as he could. Then obviously he met you who helped change and grow from that and he didn’t even know it yet.

So seeing you wipe away those tears that he did (in a way) caused, he practically flew across the living to wrap you in his arms and wings. You squealed a bit feeling the sudden movement from him and feeling your feet slightly lift off the floor.

“Don’t…,” you heard him whisper as he nuzzled his face into your neck as he tightly wrapped his arms around your waist, “Don’t cry, please…”

But nonetheless you still cry but just to let the pent up frustrations and fear you were carrying out. “Asshole…,” he heard you sniffle as he felt you wrap your arms around his neck. He felt your warm tears touch his cheeks and it only made him hug you tighter.

He sighs softly as he lifts his head away from yours to rest his forehead against yours. He takes his gloves off his hands and places his warm palms on your cheeks. His thumbs softly wipe away the falling tears as he nudges his nose against yours.

“I’m sorry…,” he whispers, “I got trapped under a building that collapsed with civilians… My phone broke in the process and I had no communication with anyone. And I went straight to the Hero Commission without thinking because that’s what I had always done before.”

You let out a small sob out of guilt because you felt bad for assuming the worst when he was perfectly fine. But you cared about him so you were scared. Scared you lost him so early in a blooming relationship that you saw a future with.

You sniffle and took a deep breath. “I was so worried, Kei… I’m sorry too. I was just so mad at you because you came back like nothing happened. So many people were saying things about you being gone…”

You let out another sob again as Keigo moved his arms around your neck to pull you as close as he can. “I know, I know. I just…,” he sighs in frustration because he thinks it’s silly to feel the way he does, “I’m not used to having somebody waiting for me to come back. I’m used to an empty apartment or the Hero Commission office. This is new to me…”

You sniffle and bury your face into his work shirt. “I’m here for you, Kei,” you say softly as you wrap your arms around his waist, “I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon and I want to experience more with you.”

You lift your head and rest your chin on his chest. Keigo takes you in with his golden eyes, seeing the tears stuck to your lashes and tear stains on your cheeks. You’re beautiful, he thinks but he knows you hate it when he says stuff like that when you think the complete opposite.

“If you want that too…you need to work with me,” you say to him with a sad look on your face.

“Of course I want that too,” he says without hesitation, “I wanna grow with you, baby. I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.” He kisses your forehead then your temples, then your cheeks before blowing raspberries into them.

You giggle instantly as you both begin to sway in each others arms. “Keigo!” you laugh, “Hey! I’m still mad at you!” you joke.

Keigo stops and pulls away with a pout on his face. You can even see his wings begin to fall behind him. You smile softly which only grows the pout on his face.

“Why ya’ laughing?” he asks with the hint of begging reassurance, “Are you still mad?”

“Next time, call me as soon as you can. You’re working, I know but I want some reassurance too. Okay?” you whispers as he rest his forehead against yours once again.

“Okay,” he says back, “Can you say it?”

You tilt your head in confusion. “Say what, love?”

He looks away from your soft gaze with furrowed eyebrows. You give him time before wanting to ask again but you see him muster up the courage before you could ask. He looks at your lips then your eyes with a soft pleading look.

“Say you forgive me, please…”

You smile as you go on your tippy toes to reach his height. “I forgive you, Kei,” you whisper against his lips before he wraps a hand around the nape of your neck and pulls you in for a kiss.

It wasn’t a heated kiss like how most of yours end up like but this was reassuring and comforting. Something that you both needed in this situation. His hands slowly meet together on the sides of your jaw as you both pull away slowly while adding an extra kiss or two.

“You forgive me, baby?” he smiles.

“I forgive you, Kei…”

●∘◦❀◦∘● ●∘◦❀◦∘● ●∘◦❀◦∘● ●∘◦❀◦∘●

[yutxsgf]

Some Hawks fluff because he's such a dork.

Hawks catches Reader sobbing over some low-level punk partner.

Cw; fluff, Hawks x Reader, light hurt & comfort, GN!Reader

Every flash of that vivid fight is what keeps your tears fresh and flowing, slipping down your slightly chubby cheeks as you curl up deeper into the couch you've practically grown into.

It's been about 3 days since you've last seen the sunlight, depression hitting you like a bus after being dumped by someone who you thought was the love of your life. Yikes, never making that mistake again, huh?

The bags under your eyes more vibrant and visible than ever, the small cartons and plates of fast food places from whenever you would starve yourself to the point you were so hungry you were tempted to eat yourself.

To put it simply, everything went to shit for you. And you honestly couldn't care about anything right now, even the soft glow of your phone and the constant buzzing of notifications vibrating your coffee table.

All you wanted to do was mope, cry, mope some more, cry some more, sob, eat if really necessary, cr—

SLAM!

"Y/n!?"

You flinched at the sound of a familiar voice, one you didn't expect to hear at all at a time like this. You slowly pulled the blanket just below your eyes to make sure it was the person you were thinking of.

And sure enough, red apple colored wings along with a small flurry of feathers immediately captured your attention from across the living room.

"Hawks..?"

His head immediately snaps towards you before he came rushing to your slump figure on the couch.

"Y/n, are you okay? What happened? Why aren't you answering any of my texts?" The hero panicked, placing a hand just on your jawline, gently leading you up to look at him.

"Slow down." You mumble, yawning before slowly and reluctantly getting up from your dent in the sofa.

"Sorry, okay.. What's going on baby bird..?"

"Nothing."

"You know I know what you mean when you say that, c'mon now, I know you better than that songbird."

You grumble quietly before sighing and finally looking into his golden-brown eyes.

"They dumped me."

"What?"

"They dumped me."

He froze, simply zoning out before a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes took over his concerned expression.

He quickly shook his head before the frown reappeared. He hesitated for a moment before clearing his throat and sitting beside you to your left on the sofa with a small grunt.

"I know it hurts, but if I'm being honest about this, as a hero, and as your friend, you seriously shouldn't be doing this to yourself." He lightly scolded before fluttering his wings and wrapping one around your side.

You huffed, yanking your blanket from underneath him. "Not as easy as you think, playboy."

"Hey, I've quit my ways a long time ago." He quipped back, sending a feather to grab your blanket and pin it against the wall nearby.

You gaped before glaring up at him and reluctantly getting up to chase after your blanket.

"Ah, where do you think you're going?" He hummed before pinning your shirt to the sofa with another carmine feather.

You pointed to the blanket, and he chuckled before using his wing to pull you closer, unwinding your shirt in the process. "Listen, how about instead of you moping here, we go out for a little fly and get some fresh fried chicken."

"Do we have to?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

He silently cheered, pumping his fist down in front of him with a grin. When you gave him a look he cleared his throat and sat up straighter.

"Alright, I'll be a second, I need to do something real quick. Go on and get dressed, baby bird. I'll come get you in 15."

You couldn't help the smile on your face before you nodded and hopped up off the couch for the first time in 7 hours.

A giggle erupted from your lips when Hawks sent a feather to tickle you as a soft see you later. One last playful glare at him and you're off.

And that's when his expression darkened.

"Now, where does that bastard live."

[mielplante]

Touch starved prompt (I think?-), crying because of a hug, because it's such a nice and warm feeling to them and they love it so much, yet they never usually get one so their emotions just overflow

I'm not sure of characters here but possibly Dabihawks/Toukei since I could totally see Keigo reacting that way if Touya hugged him

eheheh i was actually talking about touchstarved the visual novel by red spring studio but i cannot refuse to doodle the precious UWU

[ambcass]

ᴍʏ ɴᴇᴡꜱ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ ʀᴇᴠᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ || ᴇ.ᴍ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴀ/ɴ: ʜɪ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ!! ɪ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴜᴘ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʏᴇᴀʀ ʟᴏʟ

ᴛᴡ?: ʜᴜʀᴛ/ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ, ᴍɪʟᴅ ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ, ᴜꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇꜱꜱ, ʟᴏᴡᴋ ᴄʀɪɴɢᴇ, ʜᴀᴡᴋ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴀᴅ ʙꜰ

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Hello?” you spoke into the phone. No answer. You spoke again but you heard nothing but part music and people yelling. He was supposed to spend the night with me. Your heart ache for the comfort of your absent boyfriend. You hung up your phone and tried calling again but this time it went straight into voicemail. “Yo! This is Hawk, if I didn’t respond to your text then there’s a reason why. Call me later or not. I don’t care” You left your voicemail and anxiously asked when he was coming back. From your point of view, he was always violent when he didn’t get his way. Although he never really showed me that type of emotion towards you, you were scared one day he’ll lash out on you.

He was supposed to spend the New Year’s Eve with me…not them. He promised. We don’t even hangout often at all-… The storm of thoughts came to a stop. Your heart, aching even more, longing for someone- anyone, to comfort you on this sad New Year’s Eve. You had it all planned out. First, Hawk knocks on your door, you greet him with a kiss. Then, the two of you start to prep a night snack. All before waiting for the clock to strike 12 and entering the new year with each other.

TICK-tock. TICK-tock.

The clock was five minutes away from 12. You thought if he really cared for you. If he would ever put you first or even prioritize you at all. Thoughts of him partying with other girls while you sob at the absence of who you thought was your lover. Minutes quickly went by. From five, four, three, two, one. One. One more minute til New Years. One more minute til you officially enter a new year sobbing and alone. Fireworks sprout out. That was your sign that it officially turned January 1st. You got up and start getting ready for bed. You took a shower, changed into clothes, brushed your teeth, ect.

It was now 12:15 AM. Frantic knocking from your door made you leave the restroom in a rush. “Who could be knocking at this fucking hour-“ you opened the door to see Hawk outside. He looks sober but you looked enraged. You were so mad that you weren’t even going to let him in. You closed the door, making almost shut but he stopped you from closing it.

“C’mon princess, what’s with the attitude?” He had the audacity to lean on the door frame and smirk. You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes. Fireworks booming in the background made you even more upset. I’m with the attitude? Oh Eli, you’re about to see fucking attitude.

“Attitude? Me? You promised that you would spend the fucking New Year’s Eve with me and not go to another absurd party. We barley spend time with each other and this ONE time I ask you if you can hangout with me- which you PROMISED that you will. You ditched me again for a FUCKING PARTY.”

Your face was fuming, red, and hot. You turned around and slammed the door at him. Unfortunately for you, the door wasn’t locked. He stormed inside looking for you. “Can we talk about this? You don’t have to be dramatic about this.” You stood in front of him, already in tears. “Dramatic? How am I being dramatic? I never stood you up. I’m always there for you. I was always to support you even before you were Hawk… you know what.” He held his arms out. He expected you two would just hug it out because you were the “forgiving” type. You slapped him hard in the face. A red print was left with also his angry/ confused expression.

“What the fuck!” He yells. “You don’t have to be such a bitch. Can’t I have some sense of fun?!? The fuck you hitting me for? I have done nothing wrong but-“ you cut him off.

“Save it. I’m done putting up with your bullshit. When you told me you loved me, I thought you meant it…” You let out a sigh. Whipping your tears, you knew that you were going to regret this decision but you knew it would be for the better.

“Eli…I tried my hardest to see if you loved me how I loved you. Clearly, you don’t. I’m sorry for this but we should just end it here.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. His eyes widened and his lips twitched. “W-what? No! I-I’ll change, please princess. Don’t leave me. I’m nothing without you” He grabbed your shoulders. His eyes watering up. As much as you wanted to comfort him. You couldn’t. You just couldn’t.

“No. Eli let go. I can’t with us anymore. This isn’t going to work out. Please try to understand” The two of you went back in fourth arguing. The sound of the fireworks grew louder.

“I’ll change, I swear on it! Please don’t do this. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

“Enough Eli.” The stern of your voice made him realize how this decision is final. “Leave Eli.” He tried one more time. “But-“

“Leave!” the room was silent. The two of you were already in sobbing messes. Eli took a breath and turned around and headed for the door. On his way out, he paused.

“I really did love you. I’m sorry” his voice was shaky, he headed out and closed the door shut. The sound of the fire works slowly faded away. You plopped to the ground, ugly crying, and wishing you haven’t have done what you just did.

Weeks have gone by. You couldn’t do anything for days. Close friends and family’s made sure to check up on you but that wasn’t any help. One day, you’ve gotten a text from Sam. As you clicked on it, a photo of Eli and an unknown girl were together. Her, sitting on his lap while they pose for a kiss.

You were sad but couldn’t feel to care for the photo. You loved Eli so much, it hurts to see him so happy with another girl that isn’t you. Oh how you wished that was you. Oh how you wish that was you kissing his soft but textured lips. You left Sam on read and started more scrolling. You wanted to get back at him for all the pain he caused you throughout the whole relationship plus those weeks you mourned for him once more.

Suddenly you grinned to the thought of a great idea. Scrolling through your contacts, Robby appeared. Although Sam and them didn’t like him, you sought this to be the perfect revenge plan.

[dddegen]

Hawks fic with a reader who doesn’t believe in herself much?

𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴! 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗶 𝗱𝗶𝗱 :)

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆. 𝗵𝗲'𝘀 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿, 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿.

Keigo Takami "Hawks" x reader fluff/comfort

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 : 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘒𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘒𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘪𝘮.

ɪᴛ's ᴏᴋᴀʏ

You're beyond exhausted, hobbling into your shared apartment with makeup streaming down your face. One of the heels you had worn was broken, your hair was a mess from ripping the scrunchie out of it, and you couldn't stop the tears from flowing down your face. You had been rejected for a very high paying and comfy position, one that you had worked so hard on for so many years. You studied hard in high school in order to take college classes in your senior year to start early. You got yourself into the best college that taught you everything you needed to know. This was even your second time being rejected.

The first time, it was due to lack of on field experience, which was very understandable. So you went out and got that damn experience. Five whole years of it. But now? You weren't even given a reason. Nothing. It was like all of the time you'd spent working hard, sacrificing your social life, your mental health, your financial stability, everything, it was all a waste. Why were you rejected? You were the most qualified on a technical and experience standpoint. You had a wide range of ideas that you had expressed in your interview that the employer was actively engaging in. You were even quick to introduce solutions to many issues the company faced. So what happened?

Tossing your heels onto the floor just in front of the shoe rack, you walked to your couch and slumped down on it. Sinking into the cushion and back into the head rest, you could feel your throat burning with the urge to cry, yet you were just too tired to. You didn't understand what went wrong.

Keigo was set to be home from patrolling soon, promising earlier that he would bring dessert for the two of you to celebrate getting the job. How were you going to explain it without crying? You were gonna have to figure it out though, as he was currently calling you for an update. Slowly, you picked up your phone, looking down at the screen with bloodshot and burning eyes. A cute image of both of you as his contact photo. You felt like you had failed yourself, your family, 𝘩𝘪𝘮. With a thumb pressing onto the green button, you swiped and lazily propped the device up to your ear.

❝ Hey , chikadee .ᐟ 'm heading to the store now 。How did everything go  ִ𖤠 ❞

The excitement was clear in his tone. He was expecting a positive answer, yet your long pause had his excitement wavering.

❝ 𓈓 Chikadee — ִ𖤠 ❞

❝ I didn't get it 。❞

The silence was loud, and the air was feeling dense with tension. Despite your flat and matter of fact answer, there was a small crack of emotion that broke through your tone. It left you silent, embarrassed, and ashamed.

❝ I'll be home as fast as I can , okay  ִ𖤠 ❞

You couldn't respond, too busy holding back tears as you hung up. It took you only five minutes to gather yourself just to change clothes, yet it felt like an hour. Time just seemed to slow down, forcing you to marinate in your failure. Wearing some shorts and one of Keigo's shirts, you cleaned the makeup off your face and put your hair up in a messy bun. It took Keigo forty-five agonizing minutes to get home, each minute making you more and more paranoid, convincing yourself that he's going to break up with you. A rather over the top and extreme conclusion to jump to, yet very possible and very real in your eyes. It left you petrified when he slowly jiggled the door handle and pushed the door open. You were back on the couch, sitting up, wrapped up in the softest blanket you had. You were prepared for the worst, but not for this...

In his arms, a combination of your favorite foods from your favorite restaurants, drinks, your favorite candies, two games that you'd wanted for a while, some recently released movies, and edible flowers made from fruit. His full arms shook as he leaned forward and carefully placed everything on the coffee table before you. Your eyes, puffy and red, were wide with shock, brows furrowed in confusion. You were so convinced he wanted to leave you from such a catastrophic failure that this gesture was foreign. Once his arms were free, they were moving forward and wrapping around you, starting with a gentle hold before giving a squeeze and rubbing your back. His tone is soft as he speaks to you.

❝ I know you really wanted things to work out , I wanted them to work out too 。You worked so hard , you put more effort into this than I had ever seen 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 put into 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 。Sometimes , things just dont work out , no matter what you do 𓈓 ❞

He pauses, his hands gliding into yours to hold them. The pads of his thumbs gently run over the back of your hands. Your heart was shattering, the moment you were rejected playing in your head over and over. His voice is breaking through your thoughts, giving you the strength to lift your gaze up to his golden orbs.

❝ I don't know why you didn't get the job , but I know that whatever reason they gave you is absolute garbage 。You are one of the most kind , selfless , strong-willed , hard-working , stubborn , creative , and determined people I know 。If anybody deserved the spotlight , it's you , but you're very clearly out of their league 。❞

He followed with a small wink, forcing a small laugh from you. Your chest was beginning to feel lighter, the burning in your eyes feeling dull now as the pain and stress were slowly fading.

❝ There are other places hiring , looking for people as talented as you to do this same job 。You just have to look a little bit harder , but I know you can do it 。Eventually , you're gonna find a place that sees you , that understands you , and recognizes your strengths and your potential 。❞

He separates briefly to scoot the coffee table closer to you, the smell of your favorite foods wafting through the air. It was making you drool a bit, simultaneously filling your eyes back up with tears. Nobody knew you better than he did. He had nothing but faith in you whilst you were in a mist of uncertainty, the negativity nearly making you lose sight of the gem before you, trying his hardest to help.

❝ 'Kami , I'm 𓈓 'm so sorry 。I feel like I failed you , failed 𝘶𝘴 and — ❞

❝ Hey , hey , no 。❞

He's wrapping his arms back around you in a slightly tighter hug, kissing your forehead.

❝ You will 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 fail in my eyes 。𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿 。This was just a little hiccup , but I've got faith in you 。You always pick yourself back up , you always keep going 。Please 𓈓 ❞

He paused, his voice cracking as he could feel his own composure breaking at just how broken you were over this. It was like your pain was so strong that even he could feel it, cutting deep into his heart. Yet he continues to maintain the composure he has, being the shoulder you needed to lean on.

❝ Please promise me you'll keep going 。❞

You couldn't hold yourself back. Your head rest forward on his shoulder as you whispered, promising him that you won't stop. But you both understood that it was necessary to at least take a break and let out some stress before you continued on your journey to employment again.

Keigo did not once leave your side, keeping you wrapped up in your blanket, cuddling with you, handing you your food, your drinks, setting up the games and movies for you, pampering you. He was practically attached to your hip for the rest of the day and all throughout the night. Truthfully, Keigo had many thoughts about flexing his status for the sake of scoring you the job, make them come begging on their knees for you to join their company, but he obviously couldn't to that. It wasn't the right thing to do, no matter how much he wanted to, to make you happy.

You two spent the whole night eating, playing games, watching movies, joking around. It was lifting your spirits gradually, filling you with a new hope that you will be discovered by a company that's worth your time. You'll get through this, all with him right by your side. As the night came to an end, the both of you not getting tired until the sun was beginning to rise, you two joined each other in bed, holding each other close. He provided you with warmth, with strength, with joy. He was everything to you. Just as you were everything to him, his heart, his rationale. There was not a single challenge you two couldn't handle facing together, with all of your stress fading once you held each other, and each and every night ending with a sincere and heartfelt,

❝ I love you 。❞

❝ I love you 。❞

𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀! 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝗜 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗮 𝗳𝗲𝘄 𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿𝘀, 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝗹. 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁! 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀!

[hadakzu]

Wrote this while avoiding writing other comfort fic I started a while ago now lmao.

ANYWAY UM

Hawks x gn reader, hurt/comfort, trust issues I guess, (?)fear of abandonment, the reader struggles to open up and let people in, but Hawks is patient and helps!

"You know you don't always have to go through everything alone, right? You got me by your side, you know that, right?"

This wasn't the first time he would have to remind you of that. Wishing that you wouldn't just shut yourself out again, hide yourself from the world again. You were too precious for that, to not be seen by the world around you. To be forgotten to the shadows, left fighting your demons alone.

"I know"

You always said you knew.. but did you really? Because those words coming from your mouth felt more like a defense to hide how you truly felt. More like a practiced answer than anything. Trying to reassure him that you knew, so he wouldn't worry. Maybe you did know. You weren't stupid afterall, rationally speaking your brain probably knew you deserved to be cared for too, at least some amount..

But did you feel like you did? He doubted not.

Why else would you put up these walls around everyone, including him. Keeping people at arms length. Why else would you always leave out the important parts of your life. When he genuinely asked how you were, you only told him small stories of here and there, about your past few days. Telling them like a story that was practiced, carefully thought through, ready in your mind before he even got to properly ask, shifting the attention of the conversation to somewhere else. Avoiding his question.

"It's okay to lean on others sometimes.. it's okay to let people in, you know..?"

"I know.."

Again. You said you knew but your voice told him otherwise, it was unsure and careful. Like in your head you were fighting whether or not to believe that, whether or not it was okay to let him in. Whether or not everything would just fall down if you opened the gates for him, you hadn't left them down in a while. Would the whole wall just collapse at once, trapping both you and him under it. What if it was too much.. what if you were too much.. or worse. What if he thought you were just being overly dramatic, that it wasn't that bad. That you had no reason to feel this hurt.. Making things bigger than they were. Maybe you had been the one creating these problems for yourself. Maybe it was actually all just your fault... all on you.. Purely on you that this was what your life had become. Maybe you could have done something differently... If you just had tried harder... if you weren't so weak... if..

"Sweetie.. I don't think you do."

You felt the drop on your heart, you had been caught, he had seen right through you. He saw you were lying about how you were, and called you out on it. Not for blaming you, or to point a finger at you. He wasn't mad, he just cared. He wanted to reach that heart of yours, seeing how it was so wary of being hurt.

Starting by gently reaching to your hand, holding and caressing it in a reassuring manner, trying to sooth your mind from your thoughts. He should have to approach this gently, so you wouldn't close off even further. But he would reach you. Just like he always did. Even if sometimes it was bit harder, he wouldn't give up on you, you were worth fighting for. Even if it meant fighting your own inner thoughts.

"I know it can be hard, I know it's scary.. to open up and let someone care. When you're not used to it, and have been hurt by it before"

He looked at your eyes, hoping to reach yours too, so you could see it in his eyes, he was speaking the truth. His eyes filled with care, love and concern for you.. He wanted to see you shine again, like he knew you could. You were his sun during his darkest times, he wanted to be that for you too.

"I want to be your wings, to be someone you can trust to pick you up when you fall. We're supposed to be in this together afterall.. to be a team.. Isn't that right?"

Reaching to your cheek, thumb caressing your side as he finally reached those eyes. Giving you a soft smile, as to show how he had taken it to his heart, the words you had told him before.

"I learned that from you birdy. Now I want you to be the one to learn it too. To believe those words, to believe I care"

"I care."

As he said those words he gently put his head against yours, pulling you closer to him. He could feel he was close pulling you out of your thoughts. A soft kiss on your forehead, was what it took for you to finally let him in, wrapping your arms around him as you hid your face under his head. Against his chest, feeling his warmth.

It was a start.

"..I know"

That felt more genuine, it was quiet sure, but it felt more like you actually believed your words. You knew he cared, he wouldn't go out his way to reach you from these shadows if he didn't. Even if he had to do it more often than either of you would like, everytime he did, it was a progress. You letting him in, was a progress. And everytime after that, you got more of that beautiful shine of yours back. The light he had always seen in you, even when you didn't see it yourself. It was there, it just needed someone to make sure it didn't get blown off.

"You know, for someone with such big heart and such wise words, you really are bad at listening them yourself"

A small chuckle left your lips as you nuzzled closer to him, feeling his wings wrap around your body. Creating a safe cocoon that always made you feel better, if you just let yourself the permission to be wrapped in them. They made you feel safe. He made you feel safe.

"I know"

A shared laugh, it was a start. You would both learn how to do this together, to trust each other. To be loved by each other. You would learn to believe those words. It was okay to let people in, to be vulnerable. To be cared for.

It was still a process though, old thoughts of insecurities creeping up to your mind. Feeling quilty of having let this happen again, pushing him away, when all he wanted, was to be there for you.

"...I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like this.. I just-"

He stopped you right there, tightening his arms just a little bit more. Rubbing your back as he started to talk. Feeling your heartbeat raise up.

"It's okay dove, I understand. You don't have to apologize, I got you now, alright? I'm here. We're in this together."

Biting your lip as you felt the effect of his words. He was too kind.. Maybe you didn't exactly understand what he saw in you, but he did see something. Something that made him care for you, even at the times you didn't make it easy. Actually, no. It was easy to care for you, but it wasn't always easy to get through to you. He would make sure to do it though, reassure you of your worth, remind you that you weren't a burden. There was something that would make him do it, over and over again, if only it meant being with you, reaching that beautiful heart of yours.

Feeling him this close, feeling his love. You couldn't help, but to believe his words. He truly cared. Only worry of yours was that he would eventually get tired of this, tired of you. Everytime he reached out it was slowly tearing down the walls, carefully so it wouldn't collapse. Letting the light come in and out of it more easily now, forging special path to your heart that he could walk. It was getting easier navigate than before, easier to reach the destination, than it had at the start. It was a progress.

But what if the progress was still too slow..

"please don't give up on me.. I swear I'm trying.. I really am"

Voice quiet as it broke down, he knew he had finally reached your heart, seeing behind those walls. Kissing the side of your head as he listened. Finally he would hear what was going on in that pretty head of yours. He would make sure to listen carefully, taking in what it was that bothered you, what were you so afraid of.

"I know you are sweetheart, and I see how far you've come. You really need to give yourself more of a credit. I see you and I see how much you do. "

Tears falling down your eyes, as you let yourself to be melted in his touch, in his words. Really listening them as you tried to be more open of how you felt. To let him in, even if it felt scary, even if the voices in your head told you to hide, you knew it wouldn't help. You knew it wasn't fair for him either, to keep him in the dark.

"I'm not planning on leaving, I never have. I don't think you realize, just how much of an amazing person you really are. You're perfect in my eyes, just.. please. Don't feel like you need to hide parts of yourself from me. I promise I won't see you any differently. I just want to be able to be there for you, to support you. It hurts me to see you in pain, to see you suffer alone, when I'm right here. You deserve to be cared for too. Please let me care."

Moment of silent as you listened to his words, listened to his voice. His voice sounded calm, yet you could hear the despair in it, trying to reassure your worrisome mind. Keeping you close as he just wanted you to be okay, be able to confide in him.

He really just wanted to be there. He really wanted to see what was running through your head.. to hear you out, hear your thoughts.. what happened to you to close off.

He cared a lot, it was new, it was scary. It felt warm, it felt.. safe. Intimidatingly enough his love felt safe, never had it been conditional or limited only to your good days or what you could provide. He simply just cared for you, loved you..

"I- I'll try."

That was good enough for him, it would be a good start. He would be patient with you and be there every step of the way, just like you where there for him. You would be in this journey together, learn how to lean in each other.

"That's all I could ask for, just know that I'm here.. Whatever it is that makes you feel like this, just know you're not alone."

Part of your wall fell down, feeling more lighter having him here, letting him see you this bare, being seen by someone who cared. You were sure you would be heard, whenever you felt ready to share. Keigo would listen and be your rock, Hawks would catch you if you fell off.

"I- I know. thank you"

Was all you let out as you broke down, because finally his words had reached your heart. Maybe it was okay to let him in afterall, to believe and trust in those words. Actually understand, you were not alone, not when he was by your side, fully embracing all sides of you heart.

Finally you could say that and believe it in your heart, you knew he cared, you knew it was okay to be cared. It was okay as long as he was here.

"Dove, it's okay now. Just let it out, there's no need to carry this alone. We're supposed to be in this together, it's what partners do. You deserve love too."

He kissed the top of your head as he kept you close, letting those tears run down and feel the relief of it flow. This was what you needed right now, to be here in his arms, wrapped around his wings. It was safe now, letting those gates open up, leaving them down. You would find he was still here.

You'd learn how to open your heart, even when you felt exposed, it was okay to be seen, let him care. Help you in time of need.

[takami-takami]

A Dog Unfed.

includes— hawks x reader. angst. hurt/comfort.

warnings— animal abuse analogy. discussion of drugs and cravings. be warned and avoid this if you need. sorry for spoiling the subtext lol, but it needs a tw. though, i encourage you to apply this however you feel it apply.

perhaps we all have a dog.

Did you ever tell him?

The fullest extent of it all, the thorny vines that adorn your past— more bondage than decoration, a dragging weight against your throat and up your nasal cavity. A growth, an infestation, a plague on your subconscious.

It is a dog you unwittingly adopted— a drooling rottweiler that smacks its jaws and begs and paws at your thighs, pleading to you each night: "I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry. Please feed me, I'm hungry."

Everyone who has ever seen your dog has mistaken you for it.

Everyone who has seen your dog has peered down their pudgy little noses, muttered "mutt", spit it and clinked their heels away; or perhaps they simply looked on in sneers of smiling horror, down past their clutching pearls.

"This is you? By god, my goodness! An animal, an animal!"

You used to hate your dog.

You used to lock it in chains outside, let its fleshy paws burn and blister against the cement in the heat of the blaring sun. You grew tired of feeding it, of crushing up its kibble, of leaving it out to dry then quenching its bottomless thirst.

Now you just sit with it.

You sit by its side with your knees to your chest, listening to the cicadas chirp their prayers. Some days, you even let your back burn against the molten floor, a grounding heat while you lie down flat; but every day, every position, your eyes always remain locked on it.

You stare as it rests on its side, fusing to the glistening cement. You listen to its keening whines and dying breaths with a familiar pity and an unbearable disgust.

You blink, unfeeling again now.

You're sure it will never die, no matter how many hours it spends dying.

You never wanted to show Keigo your dog; even though a part of you is screaming and begging to present it to him. A gift from your innards, dirty in the palms of your blistering hands.

Keigo is just like everyone else, you assume. He is kind, he is gentle, he is an angel among men and he is the exact same as everyone else.

You've come to realize a person's good qualities— openmindedness, kindness, empathy— mean nothing in the face of what one is taught. No one is immune to propaganda, and there is no shortage of that nowadays against people with dogs.

The part that makes you doubt your assumptions is this: Keigo has honey in his eyes; flicks of gold specks dusted along the amber of his irises, a sticky kind of love swimming in them that drips down to his lopsided and infuriatingly safe smile.

You could never fathom his nose upturned, as he has been on the ground too many times to do that to another; nor could you picture a sneer from a mouth as sweet as his, honeysuckle and gentle, bright yellow.

So one night, you allow it to spill, hoping for him to soak up your blue one last time.

It's not uncommon for you to spend the dim of your nights at Keigo's home— his real home, the one the commission has never barged themselves in, the one he keeps hidden from every soul in this world but one.

It is uncommon for him to listen to the water of his shower run for several hours.

If you had feathers as sharply perceptive as his, you'd detect the nervous pacing of his leather boots against the carpet of his bedroom floor, even through the sheetrock that separates the two of you. The patter of the showerhead is far too consistent for his liking, very little movement being detected at all and his mind is bouncing off countless possibilities while sticking to none.

Those worries overflow from the cup of his bleating heart, bleeding when he turns sharply toward the bathoom door, resolute.

With a barely audible thud, his forehead traps golden strands between it and the wooden door it rests against.

He doesn't ask you if you're okay. Keigo never bothers with questions he already knows the answer to.

"Baby, open the door. Please," he begs. "I promise, it's okay— just need to be with you. Please."

The song of your sobs muffled through the door causes his feathers to sting an unbearable itch.

How his heart is just as red as those wings. It begins to drip, the string connecting him to you pulled too far for him to take. It— he needs to be with you right now.

A palm slides up the plane, resting firm by his cheek. The air of his breath hits the wood, fogging back against his lips.

"Please, let me in?"

His hopes blossom in the heavy pause that follows.

"...The door's unlocked."

Keigo knows. He could have pried it open in a heartbeat with a single feather even if it was locked, but trust and respect are precious commodities. They are irreplaceable, yet entirely and easily breakable.

Slowly, the knob creaks open, the careful movement still startling your spine stiff. The heels of your feet gently propel you backwards, firmer against the icy wall at the furthermost corner of the shower. The expanse is wide enough to accomodate fierce wings, wide enough to swallow your comparitively puny body in its open jaws.

Curled in on yourself, soaked, and trembling; this is what Keigo sees when he enters the room. This is what he sees when he dashes over, mumbling words you don't quite catch— some are familiar. "Dove", "sweetheart", "oh, my baby."

Down, he kneels by your side under the pour of the synthetic rain. The fabric of his shirt clings to his skin now, hair soaked just like yours; a wet dog all the same.

And with your tears plopping down against the flat tile, scratched knees held to your chest, you allow it to spill.

It spills through the hiccups, it spills through the wet of your cheeks; and above all, it finally spills through your confession, nose upturned to look up at his shaky gaze.

"Oh, angel..."

You can hear the palpable crack of his beating heart in that voice; but even if you didn't, the rustle of scarlet feathers that puff out in protection give his wounds away.

Keigo busies himself with a racing thought: how could he not notice the signs? He knew there were secrets nestled in the cavity of your ribcage, tandrils of some sort of ivy even he couldn't quite recognize.

You have a weight. Shackles chaining you to be left out in the midday sun.

He could tell. It's not the same as his— it's another flavor, another disease, another beast of its own— but in the most abstract of ways, Keigo could see it: you're just like him.

"Why didn't you tell me," he rasps, cupping your cheeks with shaky palms. They tap and squish like they're searching for signs— distress, hurt, anything.

You smile a mimicry of his, pulled from your most precious memories, and silently beg for that wobbly smile back; but it does not come. Instead, his eyes begin to shine, glassy and wet.

You've never seen him cry before.

You've never felt as desperate for his yellow as you do now, but you have felt this pathetic and small, once. You have felt like an animal, desperate to be domesticated— a synonym for loved.

"Y-You don't need to worry! I'm good, I'm still clean, see? See?"

As if that's the only thing that matters, you tip your chin towards him to offer your pupils as proof.

Such a gesture may shatter hearts, and Keigo is but a man. Despite it all, he is but a man.

He declines the offer, your words more than enough for him— his body opts to tackle you in an embrace instead, clutching your skull close to his hammering chest.

With each wide-eyed blink, the droplets resting on your lashes flick onto his chest. The soaked strands of your hair cling to him, both bodies drenched now by the roaring downpour above.

Water cascades in heaps onto the floor below. It never stops.

With your cheek pressed against his sternum, his scent invades your senses. He smells like cedarwood cologne and thickets of the forest, a warm signature. It matches his labored breaths: sturdy and weighty and masculine.

"I thought you wouldn't see me as a person anymore," you confess.

He hushes your worries as your eyes flutter shut, kissing the crown of your head with unwavering pride.

"Dove... You're my person."

Keigo thumbs away your tears and pulls back to offer you a wobbly smile.

You offer your own in return— a real one, too, this time.

---

The greatest advice you've ever been told was "don't start".

The words felt feeble at the time, like a joke passed down through unproductive seminars in high school out the mouths of stuffy men in suits, men who spoke of the boogeyman and jumped out behind chairs.

It meant nothing at the time.

It means everything now.

It helps you explain a little better to people who've never had a dog.

The words "don't start" are a language they do not speak; and yet, it helps to say it to their mirrored face, to imagine the breadth of your world could be pressed compact into those two tidy little words.

Talking to yourself helps you pretend you're understood.

Even though it is not necessary to be understood before you can be loved:

Don't start.