#bad pet names

[ambcass]

ᴍʏ ɴᴇᴡꜱ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ ʀᴇᴠᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ || ᴇ.ᴍ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴀ/ɴ: ʜɪ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ!! ɪ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴜᴘ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʏᴇᴀʀ ʟᴏʟ

ᴛᴡ?: ʜᴜʀᴛ/ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ, ᴍɪʟᴅ ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ, ᴜꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇꜱꜱ, ʟᴏᴡᴋ ᴄʀɪɴɢᴇ, ʜᴀᴡᴋ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴀᴅ ʙꜰ

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“Hello?” you spoke into the phone. No answer. You spoke again but you heard nothing but part music and people yelling. He was supposed to spend the night with me. Your heart ache for the comfort of your absent boyfriend. You hung up your phone and tried calling again but this time it went straight into voicemail. “Yo! This is Hawk, if I didn’t respond to your text then there’s a reason why. Call me later or not. I don’t care” You left your voicemail and anxiously asked when he was coming back. From your point of view, he was always violent when he didn’t get his way. Although he never really showed me that type of emotion towards you, you were scared one day he’ll lash out on you.

He was supposed to spend the New Year’s Eve with me…not them. He promised. We don’t even hangout often at all-… The storm of thoughts came to a stop. Your heart, aching even more, longing for someone- anyone, to comfort you on this sad New Year’s Eve. You had it all planned out. First, Hawk knocks on your door, you greet him with a kiss. Then, the two of you start to prep a night snack. All before waiting for the clock to strike 12 and entering the new year with each other.

TICK-tock. TICK-tock.

The clock was five minutes away from 12. You thought if he really cared for you. If he would ever put you first or even prioritize you at all. Thoughts of him partying with other girls while you sob at the absence of who you thought was your lover. Minutes quickly went by. From five, four, three, two, one. One. One more minute til New Years. One more minute til you officially enter a new year sobbing and alone. Fireworks sprout out. That was your sign that it officially turned January 1st. You got up and start getting ready for bed. You took a shower, changed into clothes, brushed your teeth, ect.

It was now 12:15 AM. Frantic knocking from your door made you leave the restroom in a rush. “Who could be knocking at this fucking hour-“ you opened the door to see Hawk outside. He looks sober but you looked enraged. You were so mad that you weren’t even going to let him in. You closed the door, making almost shut but he stopped you from closing it.

“C’mon princess, what’s with the attitude?” He had the audacity to lean on the door frame and smirk. You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes. Fireworks booming in the background made you even more upset. I’m with the attitude? Oh Eli, you’re about to see fucking attitude.

“Attitude? Me? You promised that you would spend the fucking New Year’s Eve with me and not go to another absurd party. We barley spend time with each other and this ONE time I ask you if you can hangout with me- which you PROMISED that you will. You ditched me again for a FUCKING PARTY.”

Your face was fuming, red, and hot. You turned around and slammed the door at him. Unfortunately for you, the door wasn’t locked. He stormed inside looking for you. “Can we talk about this? You don’t have to be dramatic about this.” You stood in front of him, already in tears. “Dramatic? How am I being dramatic? I never stood you up. I’m always there for you. I was always to support you even before you were Hawk… you know what.” He held his arms out. He expected you two would just hug it out because you were the “forgiving” type. You slapped him hard in the face. A red print was left with also his angry/ confused expression.

“What the fuck!” He yells. “You don’t have to be such a bitch. Can’t I have some sense of fun?!? The fuck you hitting me for? I have done nothing wrong but-“ you cut him off.

“Save it. I’m done putting up with your bullshit. When you told me you loved me, I thought you meant it…” You let out a sigh. Whipping your tears, you knew that you were going to regret this decision but you knew it would be for the better.

“Eli…I tried my hardest to see if you loved me how I loved you. Clearly, you don’t. I’m sorry for this but we should just end it here.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. His eyes widened and his lips twitched. “W-what? No! I-I’ll change, please princess. Don’t leave me. I’m nothing without you” He grabbed your shoulders. His eyes watering up. As much as you wanted to comfort him. You couldn’t. You just couldn’t.

“No. Eli let go. I can’t with us anymore. This isn’t going to work out. Please try to understand” The two of you went back in fourth arguing. The sound of the fireworks grew louder.

“I’ll change, I swear on it! Please don’t do this. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

“Enough Eli.” The stern of your voice made him realize how this decision is final. “Leave Eli.” He tried one more time. “But-“

“Leave!” the room was silent. The two of you were already in sobbing messes. Eli took a breath and turned around and headed for the door. On his way out, he paused.

“I really did love you. I’m sorry” his voice was shaky, he headed out and closed the door shut. The sound of the fire works slowly faded away. You plopped to the ground, ugly crying, and wishing you haven’t have done what you just did.

Weeks have gone by. You couldn’t do anything for days. Close friends and family’s made sure to check up on you but that wasn’t any help. One day, you’ve gotten a text from Sam. As you clicked on it, a photo of Eli and an unknown girl were together. Her, sitting on his lap while they pose for a kiss.

You were sad but couldn’t feel to care for the photo. You loved Eli so much, it hurts to see him so happy with another girl that isn’t you. Oh how you wished that was you. Oh how you wish that was you kissing his soft but textured lips. You left Sam on read and started more scrolling. You wanted to get back at him for all the pain he caused you throughout the whole relationship plus those weeks you mourned for him once more.

Suddenly you grinned to the thought of a great idea. Scrolling through your contacts, Robby appeared. Although Sam and them didn’t like him, you sought this to be the perfect revenge plan.

[panziku-nox]

Genuinely so excited to see what these nerds get up to, ideal neighbour trio tbh.

[cagedchangeling]

[veinsfullofstars]

"Still trying to intimidate me? Cute."

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Meta Knight and Galacta Knight based off of a couple dynamics template by @/ReddsMess on Twitter. Original template and source below the cut, as well as a HAL language variant. Top-left panel - high-angle shot of MK lit from above, standing firm and glaring up through his mask, his wings curled out and breaching the panel in places, subtitled "Well well..." Top-right panel - low-angle shot of GK lit from below, looming in the air and leering down through his mask, his wings curled out and his hands spread wide in challenge, both of which breach the panel in places, subtitled "Look who came to see me..." Bottom panel - MK & GK stand next to each other, the latter leaning towards the former and gently caressing the side of his mask with the back of one hand, grinning smugly and wrapping a wing around the knight, subtitled "My Knightmare." MK stands stiffly with his fists clenched at his sides, blushing vividly and glaring away from the warrior. A little flurry of white hearts emanate from GK, while one small one hovers above MK. END ID.)

Started 03/30/24, finished 04/02/24.

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HAL language variant:

Original by ReddsMess (template link) NOTE: The artist has marked 16-18+ in their bio, so browse at your own risk!

[nelkcats]

Not a Dog!

A competition was set up to award the best dog between Gotham and Amity Park, probably because the judges were quite aware that the two cities were a little crazy and decided to unite their competitions.

Damian bragged that he shouldn't be participating since obviously Titus would beat everyone. Jason snorted and commented that Dog was much better than Titus and would win the competition easily, the rest of the siblings walked away from the discussion, but Dick felt left out and called his friend.

Beast Boy, better known as "Gar" wasn't too happy about Dick using his favor to make him pretend to be a dog in a pet contest, but he agreed. Dick signed him up as his own pet while Jason and Damian complained about how silly the idea was.

When Gotham competitors list was released on Amity, Danny noticed that one contestant had a green dog and smiled. He could compete with Cujo! His father told him something about wanting to compete too but the halfa denied and said that he needed a dog for that.

On the day of the competition the judges tried not to flinch at the two obviously green dogs and a contestant who had decided to enter with a peculiar type of dog, they decided to judge them as best as possible. A rivalry ensued between all the contestants while Danny tried to avoid looking at his father's eyes, why was he participating with a fridge?

To everyone's surprise, none of the dogs won. The winner was Jack Fenton, with his very alive and aggressive sausages. The judges couldn't disqualify him because "hot dog" was technically a type of "dog" even if they didn't know how it was possible, and Jack taught the hot dogs a few tricks.

[mumblesplash]

don’t you hate it when your civilization flees deep underground to escape the wither only to find yourselves trapped down there with something even worse. anyway surprise! i can still draw

[ghouljams]

Not to add another au to my pile, but...

You have lived by a very simple rule while on your "last summer" vacation: the best travel recommendations come from dudes that are down bad.

Your tinder has one sentence on it and all your best pics, "in town for the week, looking for fun." So far you've barely had to pay for anything, you've had some of the best food you've ever eaten, gone to the coolest clubs you'd never have found on trip advisor, and gotten laid more than you could've dreamed. At least half of them were pretty good too.

You hover over a profile, over the name "Ghost" and some choice shirtless pics. These types of profiles always go one of two ways: fake or fantastic. You swipe right, if it's fake you'll know quickly. Your phone lights up green. It's a match. Your fingers hesitate before typing out a quick message. He gets to you first.

"Down for some fun this weekend?" You laugh at the eggplant emoji and start typing your response before another message rolls in, "we can walk around/grab drinks before."

You smile a little wider, "what a gentleman."

"Always, gentleman in the streets, wild in the sheets"

"That line work for you?"

"You tell me."

You hate to admit it, but he's funny, and funny works for you. There's something about the way confident guys flirt that really gets you going. Not to mention this sort of confidence tells you the profile is real enough for you to send a loose itinerary of your time in London.

"Drinks on Saturday then," he tells you after a minute. You let your heart flutter a normal amount.

"Where are we going?"

"I'll send you the address, you send me your number."

Alright maybe your heart flutters a little more than normal. You like a man who knows what he wants.

Part 2

[snakebites-and-ink]

If you were a pet whumpee, what would your whumper 'loving new master' forcibly rename you?

If you hate what you get at first you may have ONE reroll but no more than that. because pets don't get to choose their own names after all. 🙃

I know some of the names are less dehumanizing than others, but the human names on here were from lists of the most popular names for pets. so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[zooophagous]

Finally filed the paperwork so Nadja's official TICA fancy bastard name is "Duende Mystico"

[cerise-on-top]

Before I continue writing for the day, I just had to get something out of my system:

I know I usually write about gn readers, but I know in my heart that if König ever had a girlfriend or a wife he'd call her "Weibi" and it melts my heart so much! Just a small "Kum her, mei Weibi" (Come here, my little wifey (even if "Weibi can mean other things as well, it doesn't have to be romantic)) and I am a goner!

"Wie geht's meim Weibi?" (How is my little wifey doing?)

Or him putting his hand on her thigh, just calling her Weibi. I like to think he'd like that pet name a lot. Not sure if it's Austrian in origin, but people his age like to use it here.

[solazu1]

Jay and Tim have got to be the most mundane but gay name pairing I've ever heard like, those are your two gay eccentric uncles who've been married for like 20+ years are you kidding me.

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

it's thinking about qpr prison duo hours

[writeouswriter]

Girl, help, the book authors are trying too hard to be "hip" with the fleeting "teen lingo" and trends again, immediately dating their works before they're even released

[masterjedilenawrites]

if you want could you do some hcs for pet names for the bad batch? like maybe some joke pet names and some that they would like to be called?

Hunter: Loooves anything that puffs him up, makes him feel strong and manly or gives him authority. Stud, prince, handsome, tiger... He tries to brush it off or act annoyed, but it's obvious he's melting on the inside. He'll take whatever teasing comes from his brothers to hear you keep calling him that. Venture into sir or daddy territory, or just straight up call him hot, and you'll have him wrapped around your finger.

Wrecker: Nothing makes him laugh louder than a fun pet name. He'll gladly accept any and all configurations of words, especially when they end with a buns, cheeks, muffin, or poop. Yes, he is a child, but an endearing one. Some days he can't wait to hear what you come up with, and would be a little disappointed if you forgot or circled back to an old one that's lost its charm.

Tech: Doesn't understand pet names, so he could be called just about anything and he won't bat an eye. You'll have to try out all sorts of names, look for a reaction, and of course the most random one will earn it. Tech's ears will perk up and his heart will feel all fluttery. He'll ask you to say it again. Sexy brains. Oh yes, he quite likes that one.

Crosshair: Hates most pet names, to be honest, especially ones that are "cutesy" or silly. It makes him feel belittled, like you don't take him seriously or are making fun of him. He may tolerate something like dear from time to time, as it sounds more caring. And in more intimate moments, you can probably get away with sweetheart. Otherwise, he really just likes to hear the sweet sound of his own name.

Echo: Really likes the really tender, kind of old-timey names. He likes how they sound both warm and domestic as well as grand and musical. It can feel like a contrast to how he looks, part man and part machine. But he aspires to live up to those names every time he's called them. Darling is probably his absolute favorite, but he also likes Beloved, Lovely, and Sugar too.

Every Character Tag: @dangerousstrawberrypie, @justanothersadperson93, @arctrooper69, @sleepycreativewriter, @techie-bear, @theroguesully

Bad Batch Tag: @kaijusplotch, @rebel-finn, @lucyysthings, @marvel-starwars-nerd, @nekotaetae, @severalseashellsbytheseashore, @lackofhonor, @flowered-bicycles, @foodmoneyandcats

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[fizzytoo]

"do you like it?" "darling, i love it."

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

thinkin about... Bill's parents