#he does all these things for everyone and still it isnt enough and he snaps and he shoots himself

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)

[dialphone-archived]

oh my god.... redux ending.....

[socksandbuttons]

I learned that Dark Sun isn’t a part of the Bean Eclipse Au…..but that made me wonder how the others would’ve reacted when Eclipse got broken by Dark Sun?

Like the weird malfunction chip thing. (I don’t know how to explain it sorry. :[)

Well consisdering this au was WAYYY before eclipse v3/4 came by. (I know what you meant by the chip thing) I dont know how we'd get there. But heres to thinking of the hypothetical scenerio

Solar Flare would notice first. And by notice first I mean, after Eclipse is deliberately hiding it. (He still struggles to let people know when somethings wrong.) Confronted I do think Eclipse would let Solar Flare help find what it is. Without much luck- Eclipse getting more sluggish and struggling to move about gets more obvious. KC having to find out that way instead of being told (Something Solar Flare told Eclipse NOT to do-), pisses him off but that's not something he wants to focus on. Just asking Eclipse what happened- And hearing about a Dark Sun? KC's furious on Eclipse messing with the portal but determined to get Moon AND Monty to check his systems. They don't find anything at first. Considering they don't know what it is they're suppose to look for (what's out of place- But as we see in the episode it might not be what's added thats off but whats transmitting instead)

The slower and more ragged he gets, all the coughing is just distressing everyone. All except Bloodmoon. Who hasn't let up on his own bullying. Lunar even tries to ignore it but its hard to ignore that when you see him all the time. Opting to get between Bloodmoon and Eclipse more. KC being a stressed parent with a sick kid, is trying to find this Dark Sun, is lashing out or trying not to. Almost fruitless- Moon and Sun are on edge really, they may have mixed emotions on Eclipse however they're trying to help, Sun opting to hold Eclipse more (which makes eclipse mad but mans tired). Hell even moons proximity isn't getting Moon swiped at by Eclipse. Bloodmoon doesn't change his behavior, still kicking when Eclipse is down. Obviously this leads to everyone getting frustrated at him. Bloodmoon backs down for now but like- clearly isnt regretting it. Its only until KC snaps at Bloodmoon that its clear Bloodmoon backs off. Very quietly too. KC just has to sit with that for a moment. (he goes crush somethings, meditate for a while-) Lets see here, if this is resolved and the source found- Or maybe even just stops. Eclipse is alleviated. Everyone breaths a sigh of relief. They're still checking Eclipses' systems that they realize they overlooked something. Its only when its gone they realize what it couldve been but since its stopped they cant trace it. Bloodmoon does come back, he doesnt apologize to Eclipse, KC however takes bloodmoon away to properly talk. It doesnt go so well-

Eclipse isn't liking the fact Bloodmoon was just acting as himself but not surprised hell not even expected much else. Lunar... lunar did expect better. He's disappointed but- hey thigns are fine now. They can handle this KC can handle this- Solar Flare meanwhile finds Bloodmoon scratching at walls- and at himself. KC comes back, asked how Bloodmoon is. KC doesnt respond on that. Asks Eclipse how hes feeling. And what that Dark Sun had said. Solar Flare comes back arm torn off, asking what had happened to bloodmoon. This is getting rather long actually hmn. Anyway to the point, Eclipse gets chipped- handles it badly, Bloodmoon's own shenanigans lands him in hot water not just with KC but with Dark Sun. Which would get mostly everyone involved, Eclipse would get mad at Bloodmoon for even going near that guy but Dark Sun wouldve approached Bloodmoon. Which still would set off Eclipse cause thats Red Flags AND SOMEONE WASNT THINKIGN ABOUT THAT. Uh I dont know how this ends, Dark Sun's pretty smart enough but with the Bean AU its a bit more hmn, no one has died- uh again? For him to get Moon spiraling. He would use Bloodmoon given Bloodmoons more prone to just instigating stuff. He was probably hoping for Bloodmoon to kill someone by now actually. However KC;s convo with Bloodmoon, Eclipse in general and Solar Flare would be the ones to keep from everyone completely disowning Bloodmoon from attacking Solar Flare and general disregard to Eclipses health.

[musicoftheheart]

Fave Marauders song? ☣️

hi! okay, so im assuming you mean a song i associate with each marauder? (this is a long answer ahaha, i like to talk)

also, if you want me to do more of these for any other characters or any ships, let me know!! this was a lot of fun to think about and write <333

ill start with james. the first song (because i cannot just pick one) would have to be 'peace' by taylor swift. hes a bundle of energy, and he tends to act before he thinks (see: wand left on couch.) "[danger's] just around the corner darling, cause it lives in me. no i could never give you peace." but also hes a lover, and he would do anything for the people he cares for. "im a fire and ill keep your brittle heart warm if your cascade ocean wave blues come" etc. theres still that little bit of uncertainty in him though; "would it be enough if i could never give you peace?" its him.

similarly, though, i think of him when i hear 'epiphany' from the same album. idk if its because i associate it with the first wizarding war and therefore james, but i just- its him. it just is.

i also hc james to have some level of mental health struggles, whether it be anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder. so, in my head, both 'talk too much' (specifically the ramble/bridge) and 'gemini moon' by reneé rapp scream james potter. i think 'gemini moon' would be something he'd try to hide relating to, because in his head hes supposed to be perfect, hes supposed to be a rock for everyone else. hes the golden boy of gryffindor tower, yknow. these also feel more like they relate to the modern/muggle aus i like to read though

on a similar note: 'mirrorball' by taylor swift. hes always putting on this show to make people smile, to help people, to make them laugh. he adapts to be what people need, but when he finally snaps, when everything just becomes too much, he doesnt just break - he shatters. "i know they said the end is near but im still on my tallest tiptoes" this could also relate to the war; he knows voldemort is targeting him, lily, and harry, but hes still trying to keep positive. "they called off the circus, burned the disco down" all the joy from hogwarts is gone because of the war but "im still trying everything to get you laughing at me" he wants to keep people smiling. he wants people to have hope.

also, although im trying to avoid ships, major shoutout to pretty much every jeremy shada song to exist, because theyre so james potter-coded regarding his love life and the way he loves people

alright, imma move onto sirius before i ramble too far. this first song ties a little into james though - 'seven' by taylor swift. specifically, james talking to sirius about his family and inviting him to live with the potters instead. have a listen and youll agree

still on his relationship with his family, sirius is definitely a 'family line' by conan gray sort of guy. he would scream it at the top of his lungs.

furthermore, sticking w conan gray, i love 'found heaven' as a sirius song, too. after spending so much of his life being told all the things wrong with him, only to discover his sexuality - yet another thing i think he'd have issues accepting about himself - he eventually does find that acceptance. "youll never get your mama's wedding ring. father always said you ruined everything. but you prayed, begged and prayed, heart unchanged" "dont be scared little child, you're no demon" "your heart is breaking as you leave that door. you never meant to start this holy war. but youre trapped, pack your bags, dont look back" just all of it. its him.

on a more positive note, though, i see 'boys & girls' by conan gray as his song too. again, im trying to keep away from talking about specific ships and focus on the individuals, but this works even more if you ship wolfstar. imagine remus singing this about sirius. as much as we all like to say remus is a cassanova of gryffindor, hes a lanky nerd covered in scars. he isnt typically/stereotypically "attractive", not like sirius. sirius, who is saught after by many, but never dares to look at his friend like that, because how could he? theyre friends, and thats all. right?

that leads nicely into remus. i dont have as many options to hand for remus as james and sirius, so ill just go through all that i can remember off the top of my head. most obviously: 'the view between villages' by noah kahan. i feel like i dont even need to explain this one. its all him. you could look at it from the beginning of poa when he returns to hogwarts, or you could look at it from when he goes back to hogwarts to fight in the final battle to ultimately die. either way, its him.

god okay i know i said i want to avoid ships but i just have to throw this in here. 'in the kitchen' by reneé rapp is so remus after he loses sirius, either to azkaban or the veil. give it a listen and tell me im wrong.

its a bit of a sad one, but 'the next right thing' from frozen 2 is kinda giving me remus vibes. like, especially after the first war, all his friends are dead, or traitors. and now dumblefuck is asking him to come back to hogwarts to teach his dead friends' son? what else was he to do but drag himself out of his misery and put harry first? he didnt have his friends left to fight for anymore, but he could still make a difference for harry.

'memories' by conan gray is also giving remus. i could see it being about sirius maybe coming to him after he escapes azkaban or after the prank, but i actually see it more as his thoughts after dumblefuck visits him to get him to teach at hogwarts. obv not every line of the song, but the main idea of it. "i wish that you would stay in my memories, but you show up today just to ruin things. i wanna put you in the past cause im traumatised, but youre not letting me do that"

that was... a much smaller amount of songs for remus than i thought i had. does anyone have any suggestions?

for peter, i had to do a little more thinking, honestly. 'i almost do' by taylor swift makes me think of him bc like, do you ever think peter considered trying to reach out to remus at all during those 12 years between james' death and sirius' escape from azkaban? i know it probably would not have gone well for him if he had but like... ive thought about it.

similarly, 'miss you' by conan gray. does peter have regrets about what he did? maybe. is he allowed to miss his friends after what he did? maybe. so much of this song does feel like what peter might have been thinking following the betrayal. "is it wrong to now decide i miss you?" yeah, maybe buddy.

but then maybe he wouldnt have, yknow. so my next thought was 'crossing the line' from tangled the series. its so incredibly peter & james coded (with james as rapunzel)

on a more fanon side of things, i think my answer would be 'bruises' by reneé rapp. if we're going with the whole thing where sirius especially, but the other marauders as a whole treat peter as lesser (i dont think thats canon, and honestly im not a huge fan of the hc either, but its still something i now associate w peter) then 'bruises' really captures how he'd feel. "all my friends make sweet fun of me...sure im down to be the joke, metaphorically though you could flip me inside out and it would show black purple and green" its his song if you hc this

finally, i put forward 'run' by taylor swift and ed sheeran. i want to think that, before turning to voldemort, peter tried to convince his loved ones to just escape the war. leave it for someone else to fight and die in. he wanted to survive, and he wanted his friends to survive too, if he could. ultimately, his friends wanted to stay. james and sirius had been wanting to join the order more than anything after they graduated, and remus felt he owed a debt, if nothing else. they werent going to leave or sacrifice their moral compass to save themselves. so peter ran, alone.

im going to leave it here for now, but again please feel free to ask for more characters or any ships!! i have songs for a couple other characters, i think, and a few ships, so ill do my best to answer what i can <33

[paintsfireemblembrainrot]

The thing about the cooking

why didnt I come to this site sooner, its literally perfect for getting all of my thoughts out. Enjoy :)

In a talk with Flayn Dimitri reveals he hasnt been able to taste anything since the massacre in duscur. Which explains him saying he doesnt care about food that much in another conversation. But knowing this, how can it be that dimitri has favourite foods, like everyone else, does he solely base it on the texture then?? He can still smell, right? Its a psychological thing, not like having a cold.. So he could technically somewhat imagine how the food actually tastes like. How the fuck does he manage when he has kitchen duty?? Does he just try and get very precise measurements from a cook book? Like 5 spoons of salt, one spoon of sugar, one spoon of this spice,… He must hate the phrase "season to taste". He only knows if the food is truly edible once he sees someone's reaction to it. He could technically ask anyone for help, but does he want to keep it a secret?

…Did Dimitri ever tell Dedue he doesnt taste anything? Does he have a reason to not tell Dedue? Is it to not make him sad? ...so Dedue doesnt feel like its wasted effort? …pity him because he can't enjoy something that's important to him? …or maybe even feel wrongly responsible ? Its just another layer to this amazing relationship: the prodigy cook and his lover who cant taste anything. Imagine being really good at something and not being able to use that one thing to make the love of your life happy.

Dedue is the best fucking cook in the whole kingdom™. And he cares a lot about Dimitri. He probably cooked for him often, especially in the edge-times™. Even if not privately and directly, the students take turns helping out preparing food at the school. So Dedue has definitely seen Dimitris reaction to his cooking. Does Dimitri "lie" when Dedue asks if the food is alright?? Probably. Dedue always says he isnt a good enough cook, what if its because he can feel Dimitri is lying when he says he likes the food. Because he cannot fucking taste it?? So Dedue bases his cooking skills entirely on Dimitris reaction and unless he gets a genuine reaction, it can never be "enough". And it doesnt matter if Dimitri appreciates the work and love that Dedue puts in, its just not the same. How long does this keep on happening? Does Dimitri ever get his tastebuds back?? Its likely a physiological reaction to his trauma, so if he works through it… does it just go away one day?

Just imagine the scene Dedue walks into the room. Dimitri is at the desk, doing paperwork like the good king he is. "Your highness, you need to eat. The others are already done with lunch." Dimitri doesnt even look up "I have to finish this first, I can eat later." Dedue doesnt reply, instead puts down a plate with food on the table, he already knew what his king would say. Dimitri gives the plate a side look "Smells good, thank you.", doesnt make an attempt to actually take a bite though. Dedue is silent. Waiting. With a sigh Dimitri takes a spoonfull and shoves it in his mouth. Dedue is satisfied and turns around to leave. He stops as he hears sharp breathing and snaps around, has the food been poisoned!? But he prepared it himself and never left it unsupervised, it cant be!! Dimitri is frozen at his desk, slowly chewing. Tears form in his eyes. "Your highness! Is everything alright?!" Dimitri finally looks up, he is crying but his eyes are lit up. "Yes Dedue. It's amazing."

I am very normal about them.

[cactusringed]

hi! its t! i hope you dont mind me spamming your inbox abt this, i dont have any other scardubs shippers who i can talk to. you can let me know if you do! :]

youre so right about bdubs not being cruel and calculating enough

just imagine bdubs not quite understanding the weight of scar offering him his life. to scar, it feels like lilacs and poppies and can we still be friends. to bdubs the offer feels like no kill passes, clocks covered in blood, and scar's fire aspect sword burning through his back. salt on top of a ready existing wound

bdubs furious in a way nothing but scars blood on his hands could ever describe or soothe. but he can't do it yet. all he can do is snap at scar about, 'just you wait until im red,' and tell him that hed really appreciate it if scar went and jumped off a cliff or stood on a cactus.

but it all just rolls off scars back like water with a laugh and a joke. it makes bdubs see red, but hes not red. theres nothing he can do to get it through to scar that hes serious

i dont know if its better or worse if scar knows hes serious or not

maybe scar is completely clueless. sure, the ribbing is angrier than he remembers, but the routine of teasing and joking around an anger that doesn't really mean anything is familiar enough. and its not like the world theyre on hasnt made everyone darker, scar's done things to people hes not proud of too

but maybe scar knows. hes not an idiot. its a right there in your face answer that someone hates you when they keep threatening to kill you when they can and asking you to just go die already.

maybe scar thinks he can fix it. even after he makes himself useful to bdubs, dedicates himself and this life of his to bdubs, it doesn't make him any less angry. and i think scar knows that it doesnt, but just cant accept that he cant fix it. cant accept that he hurt bdubs, someone he cares about, so greatly that bdubs hates him and wants to hurt him. wants to kill him. is going to kill him, and no amount of making himself useful is going to change that

either way, whether he sees it coming or refuses to, i think when bdubs does turn red and kills him it hurts the exact same. it stings with betrayal and grief and, worse, the knowledge he deserves it. that he's the villain in bdubs book. that the only redemption hes getting is through death

i cant decide what route from here i like better

1) bdubs feels completely satisfied. the bloodlust in his veins is gone. none of it matters to him anymore... but it still matters to scar.

scar being terrified that even dying couldn't fix things, only to find out that his death fixed things and feeling worse. he pledged his life to bdubs (it feels like im sorry im sorry im sorry) and that means nothing to him.

scar means nothing to him anymore.

scar thinks hed prefer if bdubs hated him still. at least him pledging his life means something then, at least his death means something then, at least this whole situation means more than scar pulling one stupid prank

2) bdubs is still angry

scar thinks it's fixed now, with his death, but hes wrong. bdubs is red, and he wouldnt be if scar hadn't taken his green life

when scar comes back to bdubs smiling and asking if its all even now, bdubs sees red. scar thinking this is all something transactional, an eye for an eye, a debt he can pay off, pisses him off

scar treated bdubs' death like a joke. then his own like a joke. and bdubs decides hes going to make sure scar isnt laughing by the time hes done with him

3) bdubs feels horrified

seeing scar getting torn apart by the zombies was what he wanted. and for a long moment he feels euphoric.

until he realises scar isnt yelling or screaming or anything. just quiet pained grunts and heavy breaths

until he realises that scar doesnt even bother trying to fight back

until he realises the heavy breaths are sobs, and the look on his face is betrayal not pain

he realises just a moment too late and scar is dead. bdubs doesn't even have time to say he's sorry, let alone try and help. all at once scar pledging his life to bdubs feels like when grian attacked the two of them in third life screaming betrayer, his voice so heartwrenching bdubs felt bad for him even on red

scar pledging his life feels different

it feels like an apology, utter devotion to making things right with someone you care for, trust and love built on a pillar of death.

and bdubs doesnt know if he can fix it

Hiii don't worry I love talking to people I just hope u don't mind how slow I can be replying to asks ^_^ hehehuhu my ask box or dms are always open either way xoxo

See your idea of Scar third lifing in and pledging his life to bdubs is to tasty when, well, you take third life into consideration. Scar who knows what it's like to die to a prank but who was quick to forgive in exchange for complete and utter devotion. Scar who believes he can offer the same, and receive the same forgiveness he once gave Grian.

Only to realise he isn't trusted. It's a transaction. The same as a no kill pass. Meaningless unless given value by the person receiving it. And bdubs giving it no value, not believing in Scar anymore, not after he was burned one too many times.

For Scar to think he can fix it with what anyone else would call a 'deal' is an insult, after all the lies and frauds and betrayals - and bdubs, who should be familiar with in-the-moment, hot blooded betrayals for one's own safety - has none of it.

I think he would regret it and feel not only pity but horror, after killing Scar. He'd think of killing Tango in last life, and Skizz in limited life. How even in his rage Skizz offered a fair battle to settle scores. How he didn't afford the same kindness to Scar, whom one could argue pushed Bdubs (and Impulse!) into the zombie horde as a means to self preservation, with the same sort of red hot fear that a boogeyman might have. But whom one could also argue did it out of a bout of sadism and cruelty instead.

It's that uncertainty that hurts, and makes it difficult, in the end, to know if his anger was warranted. It's that uncertainty that makes it difficult to feel true satisfaction as he's torn apart just like he was.

[creganstahk]

do you ever think how drastically different everything would be if aemond was born with alicent’s dark hair.

walk with me.

if you think about what happens directly before his birth— otto and viserys’ big break up (where viserys firmly draws the line between his blood— rhaenyra— and otto’s, where he pretty much commits to neglecting aegon and helaena and then aemond), plus we have alicent taking criston as her personal guard, rhaenyra’s marriage and eventual pregnancy with jace

everything may have been so much worse for aemond and alicent as well. not only did his dragon not hatch, but jace’s did, and then luke’s, but aemond’s still didnt. its bad enough that aemond was bullied but it would have been worse on growing rumors that he’s actually a bastard— why else does he not look anything like helaena and aegon AND he doesnt have a dragon?? and viserys is visibly decrepit (how could he possibly get alicent pregnant again)? and then with aegon joining in on the bullying too? he really is ostracized and isolated among the boys as if he were perceived a bastard.

he wouldnt have the same ideals about “pure targaryen blood" , because how could he? but i do think he would still try and prove himself for other reasons with learning valyrian and his education. not just out of second son syndrome but to feel worthy of his name at all. but there is a bitterness that somehow acceptance and a semblance of worthiness comes easy to everyone else except him and it isnt fair. but aemond may have even tried to befriend jace more, as he’s the closest in age and thinks that they have this shared thing.

now this all works out great for rhaenyra who as we know isn’t above throwing alicents children under the bus to protect her own. as long as the scrutiny is on alicent and aemond, even just the threat of rumor, no one will really care about her situation. thing is, she would know that alicent would never have a bastard child and would never actually accuse her of anything, but nor would she vocally defend alicent. and she knows that alicent is so rule-abiding that if anything, alicent may even be dependant on rhaenyra’s good will in a sort of quid pro quo “i wont speak out against your children if you don’t about mine” .

it could also mean rhaenyra getting what she wanted with the betrothal between jace and helaena if alicent really wasnt in a position that she could refuse.

but then driftmark happens— i can picture the fight escalating with words of aemond having no right to claim vhagar. not only because she was laena’s to claim, but because aemond is a bastard. even if jace already knows by now that he is actually a bastard, he could double down on this out of projection. not because he’s a malicious child, but kids say things things in anger

but viserys would not defend aemond the same way as he would rhaenyra and that lack doing so after years of negligence is what confirms people’s doubt even more. it doesnt matter that only people of valyrian ancestry can claim a dragon, the damage has been done. and if alicent finally snaps and lashes out at rhaenyra because this bullshit has gone on long enough, it could very much result in aemond being exiled to oldtown to “keep the peace” — he’s the one that’s been maimed, he’s the one that’s had his parentage questioned unfairly and in public. but viserys is both a coward and perhaps wanted the excuse to punish alicent in someway.

and so aemond loses an eye, is exiled on false rumors, severed from the only person that really ever cared for him. sure he gets to know daeron more but his hatred for the blacks has never been more solidified. and alicent as well, any pretense of allegience with rhaenyra would be swiftly severed and she would have been working to install aegon as soon as they got back to kings landing.

all because aemond had brown hair instead of silver

[catgirl-catboy]

Oh my god! I know he was the traitor! I felt smart now. For now I call CC Robin because of his deceit and ways of preventing the hurt reminded me Robin Hood. So hello there, Robin. I felt always suspicious about you.

Oh my god.. Mika and Valerie's relationship is way more tragic than Ishimondo in a way.. Do they have feelings for eachother or just Mika have one sided crush on her? Because I think Mika seems bit.. lovesick.

And fuck I didnt expect her to be culprit in chapter 3 but chapter 3 is always the key part of the story to resolve other secrets, isnt it?

Bob killing Aiden made me ship them. I'm a mess for killer x victim ships!

And oh my fucking god? Mika's life was horrible and only thing who makes her sane taken away from her like that? This is.. cruel!

I adore it!

What happened to the amnesiac boy?

Honestly, thats up for debate since Val was all "I've never thought about romance before due to only living for my SHSL, but now that I've gonna die maybe I should kiss someone". I don't think she was interested in Tom much as a person, but that could change.

As for Mika, I don't think she's self aware enough to understand if she's feeling romantic feelings or platonic feelings or familial feelings. She just feels something positive, and goes "hmm. thats unusual." Her parents told her that Val would start looking down on her if she told the truth, while Val was insecure when she measured herself up against the "nothing bothers me and I do not fail" image Mika presents. Val asked Mika to be more open about his plans, but when Mika did that in Ch2 she was shocked and thought him heartless for having a hand in the death of his own dad.

I don't think he's a good character morally, but he turned out a lot better than his parents, and some of his "wtf" behavior makes slightly more sense. He doesn't get why they're complaining, since for him this is just a Tuesday. His mom treats human life like a puzzle, so he tries to too, but gets mad upset when its a person she knows. And, of course, she was never really in it for herself.

As for Bob x Aiden, Aiden totally told Mika to lay off Bob a couple of times, for shipping crumbs. And Aiden is the sort thats nice to everyone, (he wants to make friends) while Bob was a semi-harmless Cukolander until he snapped.

As for Mika, in Ch4 she does a Reverse Taka and puts on a pretty impressive mask of sanity and "nothing bothers me", as she does. This causes more people to target her (as is her plan >:)) Val told her to save everyone (well, she said to try to save everyone, but same thing) so she will.

The amnesiac is still quite attached to Celene, and trying to figure out what kind of life he lives. He hit it off with the male figure skater, due to them having similar personalities, and plan to learn skating when they escape. (the skaters are a mirror to Val and Mika, if they had slightly better communication. They learn to be less codependent, while Val and Mika just imploded, almost taking everyone down with them.) He had one of the lower murder idea counts in Ch3, which he shrugs off as not being affected by the motive. To an extent, he's a somewhat neutral party.

He becomes highly relevant in Ch4, actually! Alas, he dies.

[star-ocean-peahen]

Christmas is a time for famil.............ial dysfunction!!

hahahahaha im the only person in this house who doesn't explode when upset hahahahahaha isnt it funny how that sounds like im a better person but i really just lash out quietly and sarcastically instead hahahahahaha and thats definitely worse because it's more insidious and hurts people when they have less of a chance to understand it hahahahahahaha

hahaha dad snapped at me for trying to protect my sibling from his forceful anxious rants and like yeah thats not the best way to go about the situation i see that now. its not going to work to tell him he's said enough because 1) he does not want to hear that 2) he does not want to hear that from me 3) hed never stop anyway because hes not ACTUALLY saying it for other people's benefit he's saying it because he doesn't believe emotional validation is a legitimate emotional need so he doesn't allow himself to have it so his anxieties have to come out somehow and this is how they do that and i cant really get down on him for that because i did it too!! when you dont have another outlet the anxieties will still come out but just in a non-constructive way!! of course whenever MINE did that he mocked me and made sure i knew EXACTLY how disgusting and cruel he thought i was being but BECAUSE of that i know how it feels and i dont want to do it to him!! the point is that i dont want anyone else to feel like i did and that includes the person who made me feel that way!! because he doesn't really deserve the grace and respect he never gave me but im going to try to give it to him anyway!! because thats the point of breaking the cycle!! but hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my drive to protect my younger sibling is stronger in the moment than my drive to break the cycle and i dont know what to DO to do it the right way and i dont have to get it right esp when it isnt my job.................i just hate to see him saying things that hurt me so much to them...........

and its so fuckign. hard to remember that small humans have no better way of dealing with their emotions so they express them in non-constructive ways. because theyre being little rats.

and my mom is like the only one actually trying to make this celebration fun for everyone and she cant handle the emotional weight of everyone's problems on top of organizing the entire holiday for everyone. she can't do it. i watched her break down in the kitchen. shes doing better now but its not fair!! its not fair that this is happening to her!! its not fair that this is happening to us all!! its not fair that i had to be strong for her when i was repressing all of these feelings!! its not fucking fair that i love them so much!!

and im part of the problem!! i know that!! i make situations worse because im upset!! i tell my dad off for not deescalating when i suck at deescalating too!! im catty and petty and im definitely traumatizing my siblings in the way i was and thats eating me up inside!! i dont know how to do this better and i cant be expected to do this better but FUCK i hate it!!

i just. i wish my siblings could calm themselves down i wish my dad could successfully deescalate situations and not get into stupid arguments that he has to win to make up for his lack of consistent validation i wish my mom could stop yelling at my siblings i wish she could have enough support that she doesnt have to feel anxious i wish my family was NOT SO FUCKING DYSFUNCTIONAL.

its silly goofy but my anthem for when my dad makes me feel bad is the living tombstone song "i can't fix you" because it makes me feel better but its not just that i cant fix them i cant even HELP them. or even if i can i hurt more than i help. wanting to help doesnt translate to succeeding. fuck. i just. i just dont want anyone to feel like i did. but i make them feel that way more than i save them from it. fuck. do i have a thing about saving people. do i care more about feeling like i saved someone than actually being what they need. i dont fucking know.

[bbybaku]

cranky no nut november boyfriend shigaraki

yes i know its july. 

1.8 k words 

slow burn but there is smut 

warnings: angry shig, humiliation, degrading, oral (fem recieving), use of vibrator, shoes on bed, angst, fluff, mentions of masturbtion

your boyfriend, tomura shigaraki, had made a bet with his friends, about who could last the longest during no nut november.

you thought a month wouldn’t be that bad, right? you guys could handle it.

the first few days were nothing. you two were busy and didnt think that much of it. 

but the first weekend shiggy had invited you over to watch a movie. which was usually code for “let’s fuck”

you went over to his apartment, about 20 minutes into the movie you slipped your hand under the blanket, feeling around for his cock.

“hey” he said softly but irritated as he picked up your hand and moved it.

“what? we always-“ you asked

“i’m taking this month seriously, i can eat you out or something but we cant, you cant” he said

 you were not expecting him to take it this seriously.

you knew your boyfriend he never took anything seriously? why did he have to take this stupid month seriously.

“well, do you want?” he asked as he ran his fingers over your clothed clit.

“no let’s just hang out tonight” you said.

“okay” he said then kissed you on the head and pulled you into his lap.

you could feel his erection. but you knew you had to ignore it. 

week 2 was easy because shigaraki was out of town for a work trip.

you didn’t know how he was doing it. no sex was one thing, but not even masturbating?

you had been touching yourself every day to the thought of him, the pictures you had of him and sometimes 

the movies you had made together.

the night he got back he came straight to your apartment.

he looked pale.

you went in for a hug, but he pushed you away.

“no” he snapped “ i just wanted to see you”

you gulped “oh okay”

you cooked dinner and he told you about the trip.

the space between your thighs ached the entire evening.

you asked him to stay the night but he said he no.

and he left. 

it was day 15. you needed him. your hand could only do so much. you couldnt do what he could do. he knew your body better than you did. 

you texted him to hang out. 

the two of you got coffee then made out in the car. 

his mouth tasted so good. your body presses against the console, arms around his neck. the kiss starting equal but he very quickly shoved his tongue in your mouth. he took your jaw in his hand and held your face while his tongue circled yours. you sucked on his bottom lip. his hand found your tit. your hand found his crotch. 

shigaraki instantly pulled away, he was pissed “how many fucking times do i have to tell you no?” 

you sighed “im sorry i just-” 

he pushed his hair out of his face and took your jaw in his hand again. “look at me. i want to be inside of you so bad. i think about you all the time. i love you so much but we just cant right now.”

 his tone made you want him even more. it was embarrassing how hot you got  when he was irritated. and he knew it. 

“i hate this stupid challenge” you said through his grip on your jaw. 

“do you want to be like that?”  he talked down to you with a smirk.

“we can always go back to my apartment, and work on your attitude” he said letting go of your face and grabbing the gear shift. 

you had soaked through your panties a while ago. you were excited but knew you wouldnt be filled up the way you wanted to be. 

the drive to shiggys apartment was agonizing. the sexual tension was higher now than it was on your first date. it felt like you were getting stopped at every red light, the car in front of you was always going slow. and both of you were sweating. 

he had one hand rubbing your thigh and the other on the steering wheel, except at stops when he would run it through his shaggy hair. when he finally got to his apartment complex the two of you practically sprinted inside. 

“elevator?” you asked pressing the up button repeatedly. 

he took his hands out of his pockets and said “stairs” 

the two of you raced up to the fourth floor, you beat him but just barely. once both of you were in the hallway he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder.

once in his apartment he didnt even turn the lights on, he took you to his bed and threw you on it. 

he stood over you and sighed. “its your lucky day” he then pushed you up to the headboard and pulled off your panties. so eager, you were both still wearing shoes and the window was open. 

you shivered at the cold air on your exposed heat. 

shigaraki just stared for a minute. he loved vulnerability. 

he loved having you at his mercy. 

he pushed your skirt up and grabbed onto your thighs. 

“i knew you would be soaked.” he shook his head “such a whore” he said.

and just like that he dove right in.  

he licked up your folds and you bucked your hips to meet him. 

his grip on your thighs tightened and he pushed you into the bed.

“dont move” he met your eyes when he said it.

he started sucking hickies on your inner thighs, his fingers teasing at your clit. 

you held his head in your hands, not directing him, but rubbing his scalp. 

he occasionally hummed into your thighs at the feeling. 

he pulled off of your inner thigh and brought his mouth and nose to your entrance. you whimpered, expecting him to relieve your ache. 

he blew cold air on your exposed heat. 

you cried out. 

and shigaraki crawled up to meet you at eye level. 

he straddled you and leaned down “beg.” he whispered 

“please” you whispered

“i dont get anything for this. why should i be nice if i dont get the reward of your tight little pussy? or getting to fuck your pretty face. make it worth my while. give me this one little thing.  i said to beg like the whore you are.” 

you gulped. “please tomura. i touch myself to the thought of you every day and nothing satisfies me like you do. i just want you. i want you to fill me up and please let me come. please sir.” 

“hmm okay, i guess but its embarrassing that you touch yourself so much, you really are a whore.” he said as he repositioned his mouth at your entrance. 

he once again pinned your hips to the bed and brough his mouth to your entrance.

his long slender fingers ran through your folds a few times before stopping at your clit and rubbing circles. 

you moaned in pleasure, finally. shigaraki was relieving your ache. 

he sucked on your entrance and drank your juice like it was water from the tap. you could feel his tongue at your entrance, he tease then run his tongue through your folds. 

your entire body was shaking and the knot in your stomach was about to release. 

“please i - can i please” you whined. 

shikaraki hummed yes into you, his grip on your thighs tightening 

the hum was what sent your over the edge, your walls tightening and releasing around shigarakis mouth. 

he pulled off for a moment and looked at you “that was fast. youre so easy, y/n, you know that?” 

and at that he went right back to what he was doing, only this time it was his finger. at your entrace and his tongue on your clit. 

his tongue going all around and eventually stopping and making out with your bud. 

you were crying at the pleasure. 

his long fingers going in and out, and in and out. at no particular speed or regularity and occasionally stoping to curl inside you. 

your hands went to shiggys hair, but you couldnt control yourself the way you had earlier. your hands were shaking as the held onto his head.

you came again, it was so fast you didn’t even have the time to ask.

you could feel him smiling on you.

shigaraki pinched your thigh, acknowledging your high, but showed no sign of stopping.

he maneuvered a little bit, grabbing something under the bed while still fingering you. 

if you thought you were a mess before, you were wrong. because you were even more of a mess when shigaraki started rubbing around your clit with a vibrator. 

your back arched and you grabbed onto the sheets, so as not to pull on shiggys hair, “pleASE. m-gonna c--um” you barely got out. 

your lower body convulsing. 

tears started streaming down your face, it hurt so good. “dont cum yet, baby. i want you to wait this time. like i have to wait.” 

“no-oh-oh-o” you sobbed 

shigaraki mustve been getting irritated because his grip on you tightened, and he pinched your inner thigh. 

“please” you whimpered, running your fingers through his hair as gently as you could. 

“no” he said sweetly. 

your vision was starting to blur and you were still crying, “isnt this what you wanted darling?” shigaraki asked. 

you only sobbed in response, you were loosing the ability to form coherent sentences. 

the knot in your stomach released without warning, and you came on shigaraki’s vibrator. 

with that he sighed and stood up, going to the bathroom to help you clean up. 

despite your scattered brain, you knew your boyfriend well enough to know that he was in agony. 

“does it hurt?” you asked him between deep breaths. 

refering to how bad he wanted you, and how hard he was in his pants. 

he waled back in with a towel and said “yes” looking down at the ground. 

“well what if we” you started. 

“no, im tired of having to explain this to you.”

“please, i just want you so bad” you begged as he climbed on top pf you.

“i said no! just fucking shut up” he snapped

“why?" you whinned

he found your wrists and pinned your hands beside your head on the bed. 

“everyone gets a different penalty. do you know what mine is if i fail? huh? do you want to know”

"um i-” 

you went to speak but no words came out. 

shigaraki leaned down “my penalty is to send the group chat a video of us having sex” 

“oh” you said feeling yourself blush

he gulped and looked away “which i really dont want to do because you are mine.”

he released your wrists and fell on top of you, “youre all mine” 

“please just wait 2 more weeks” he whispered into your neck. 

masterlist

[spotsupstuff]

You know, even after the final, I didn't understand some things. In episode 13 we saw the past lbd as she came there (by the way, what kind of place is it, do the gods live there? or is it on earth?) To work and then order them (same question who is this, gods?) because they do not think at all about mortals and they do not care about them. And after that the man began to ask for mercy, but as a result he was killed

So all that she was doing meant that she just wanted to cleanse the sky of all the gods and help the mortals? and what the mayor said was that her plan was great, but because of the monkey king and his team, she couldn't get what she wanted (they interfered with her because she wanted to eat Tripitaka like in the original or maybe there was some other reason?) and after that, mayor said that she took into account all the mistakes and this time she will completely destroy everyone I do not quite understand what the reasons were in the past, and what she wanted to achieve, and why she was arrested

The beginning of e13 shows us that she began to attack the Heaven (similarly to Sun Wukong, funnily enough, ha). But that wasnt when she came there for the first time, shes been within the ranks of that place for a good while, at least so is implied. She says that basically what she was trynna do there was guide the man who ruled the place into making the world better, but, after seeing that the ruler and his advisors were all pretty shitty, she came to the faulty conclusion that the only way one could fix the world is by restarting everything

The ruler had a real actual power to Actually make a change everywhere, perhaps stop all the suffering in the mortal realm. But judging by his reaction when she mentions the mortals, he didn't even think about them once- with how startled he was by her bringing them up

She never mentions wanting any kind of power in the form of ordering gods about- she even becomes disgusted when the ruler offers her a high position and riches. Her only goal is Literally to rid the mortals of hurting, the not-mayor says as much

Fact! Confucius has basically done the same! Looking for a king/someone with social power to shape the society into something better. But unlike Confucius, Im guessin the frustration got to WBS n she snapped in the form of decidin to go after the reset

There is also a history of the Gods not being exactly compassionate with creatures down on Earth. Remember, this isnt christianity. The gods are hardly perfect and are still prone to flaws and mistakes (the only one who doesn't make mistakes and has flaws is basically the Buddha n the bodhisattvas come in pretty close). So her bein hissy towards the Heaven is not necessary a sign of her being Evil thru that

She never wanted to eat Tang Sanzang in the LMK universe, but rather Tang Sanzang is the reason why she was imprisoned instead of killed, Im guessing. What I imagine is that Sun Wukong and the other pilgrims were hailed into Heaven to deal with her since she is so powerful and either Sun Wukong or somebody on a similar power level to him (Erlang Shen? maybe Buddha himself showed up?) subdued her and she was about to be executed when Tang Sanzang chimed in with his compassion (because, after all, her core motivation isn't necessarily evil- ridding people of pain n all) and so instead she was trapped in that box and not allowed to come out until she would Understand that her way of going about this is wrong

Maybe she accepted being chained and trapped beCAUSE of Tang Sanzang, since she probably didnt want to hurt any mortal ever. Shes hurting mortals in present time (the host, the citizens of the cities that were frozen), because after all the ages shes been stuck in that box, instead of getting better she only got worse aka colder to life. Because what does it matter if some mortals die now, especially if their sacrifice helps her with her goal, when she is bound to destroy it all soon enough?

Do remember that in this world, the idea of reincarnation and living in the mortal realm is more of a punishment than anything else. Punishment which is possible to escape only thru immortality, ascension to Heaven or ascension into the state of Nirvana (Buddhahood)

TLDR; her only reason ever and what she wanted to achieve was to stop people from being in pain. She was arrested/caged in that box because she decided the only way to achieve what she wanted was to destroy everything. Her idea of destroying everything is very, INCREDIBLY similar in nature to a suicidal person wanting to end themselves, except it includes LITERALLY everything in existence with her. Which is... Bad

[waitimcomingtoo]

Give Yourself a Try

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader enemies to lovers

Synopsis: you and Peter hate each other, which becomes a problem when you’re given a group project

Part two and three

Masterlist

“Good morning Ned.” You kindly greeted as you took your seat in front of Peter in your first period physics class.

“Morning Y/n.” Ned said back, gearing up for what he knew was coming.

“I really like your makeup today, Y/n.” Peter smiled as he leaned forward in his seat. “Is it hard balancing your schoolwork with your job at the circus?”

“Not at all.” You smiled sweetly at him as you turned around. “I could get you a job there if you’d like. We’ve been needing something small to feed to the lions between shows. You’d be perfect.”

“Small? Darling, you must be mistaken.” Peter kept a sickly sweet grin on. “I’m bigger than your boyfriend of the week over there.”

“Silly goose.” You scrunched your nose at him. “Harry Osborn is not my boyfriend. And just so you know, steroids are really bad for you. I’m worried about your well being.”

“I’m not on steroids.” Peter hissed, dropping the act. “Stop trying to start that rumor.”

“Why not?” You shot back. “You had no trouble spreading the rumor that I was the one who killed Herbie the hamster when we all know it was you who left the door open after cleaning his cage.”

“Are you kidding me? That was fifth grade.” He whispered harshly.

“I will never forget it.” You snapped back.

“Ahem.” The teacher cleared her throat as she stared at you and Peter with an annoyed expression. This was an everyday occurrence in her class, and any other class you had with Peter. You hated each other and everyone knew it. You and Peter stopped arguing and slumped in your seats, giving each other one last look of disdain.

“Instead of a final exam this semester, I’ll be giving you a final project.” The teacher continued. “You’ll be working with one other student.”

“Nice. We can finally present our work on quantum physics.” Peter excitedly high fived Ned.

“Can you guys reschedule your virgin convention for later?” You asked seriously. “I’m trying to listen.”

“Because of the disappointing grades on the last project, I will be assigning your partners.” The teacher went on.

“Don’t worry.” Peter whispered to Ned again. “We could still end up together. We got an A last time so she knows we work well together.”

“We got an A last time.” You mimicked his voice and moved your hand like a puppet.

“Yeah. An A.” Peter said as he leaned forward in his seat. “You know, like your bra size.”

“What did you just say to me?” You snapped as you whipped around. He had on his infamous shit eating grin that you hated.

“Young man, can you please stop interrupting our conversation?” He said as he held up a hand. Your jaw dropped at the insult, face growing warm with anger. You decide not to give him the satisfaction of an insult exchange and turned around in your seat. Your teacher began to list off the partners for the projects.

“Leeds, Stacy.” She called out. “You’ll be working together.”

“Sorry, man. But also, not sorry man.” Ness frown quickly turned into a smile. “Gwen, over here!”

“Aw.” You snickered as you turned around on your chair. “I feel bad for whoever gets stuck with you now. That poor, unfortunate soul.”

“Parker. L/n. You’ll be working together.”

“What?” You and Peter screamed in unison. You gave each other an angry look before looking at your teacher in protest.

“You two are always holding up my class and I’m tired of it.” She held up a hand. “This project will teach you how to finally get along and stop disrupting me while I teach.”

“Mrs. Avery, with all due respect, I can feel myself getting more disruptive already.” You told her.

“I think that’s your STD.” Peter mumbled.

“You two need to learn how to be professional and amicable.” She ignored your protest. “You won’t always like your peers. But you will always have to collaborate with them at some point.”

“I understand that.” You assured her. “But if we do this project together, my fist is going to collaborate with Peters face.”

“That’s a threat.” Peter piped up. “I’d like to file a report.”

“And I’d like to take that report and shove it up your-“

“Enough.” Mrs. Avery cut you off. “You will be working together and that is final.”

You both shrunk in your seats, fuming with anger over the teachers decision. You didn’t cause any more disruptions throughout the class and quickly left once the bell rang.

Peter saw you at your locker, which was coincidentally next to his locker, spraying some perfume on.

“Darling!” Peter exclaimed as he stood next to you. “So good to see you! You know how much I love when you hog all the locker space and make the entire hallways smell like perfume.”

“Why, thank you.” You touched your hand to your heart. “As I’m sure you know, some of us prefer to smell like things other than Neosporin and baby powder. After all, that’s your signature scent and I’d just hate to step on your toes.”

“I didn’t know. Thank you for opening your gigantic mouth and telling me!” Peter said through a toothy grin.

“Oh, Peter.” You laughed airily. “You’re very welcome, you sad sack of shit.”

“Classy.” Peter faked a smile as he opened his locker. “Do you want to come over to my house after school to work on the project? I live walking distance from here.”

“What? No.” You scoffed. “You’re not getting me to a secondary location. We’ll work in the library.”

“Actually, we won’t, because it’s closed for maintenance.” He replied with a tight smile.

“I wish you were closed for maintenance.” Yoh grumbled as you zipped up your bag.

“Hilarious.” He fake laughed loudly. “Are you coming over or not?”

“Not.” You said in disgust. “I don’t know you or your parents. You might try to kill me as a part of some Parker family cult ritual.”

“My parents are dead.” He told you, unamused. “It’s just me and my aunt.”

“Is your aunt a cult leader?” You asked.

“No.” He groaned.

“Cult member?”

“No. All she does is cheat at cross world puzzles and shop at Whole Foods.” He said.

“So you lied.” You slammed your locker and looked at him. “She’s in the Whole Foods cult.”

“Can you try not to be difficult for two minutes, please? We need to get this project done.”

“Jokes on you, Parker.” You folded your arms. “Difficult is my lowest setting.”

“Ooo. Scary.” He mocked you. “What’s your highest? Because I’m pretty sure I saw it last Tuesday when your backpack got stuck on the door handle and you decided to blame me.”

“I know that was your fault. And I go from difficult to hooligan to the step mom from Parent Trap.” You shrugged.

“And they said women aren’t funny.” Peter replied as he slapped his knee. You raised an eyebrow at him, judging him for his material.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

“You’re gonna be sorry.” You told him. “Where do you live again?”

“Waking distance from here. I said that less than five minutes ago.” He rolled his eyes at you.

“Well I didn’t hear that because I tune you out when you speak. You know, like most people do.” You said sweetly.

“Wow, you’re so funny.” Peter said sarcastically. “If I meet you here at the end of the day, will you come home with me?”

“Fine.” You huffed. “I’ll go home with you. But if I start detecting any cult shit going on, I’m leaving.”

“Fine by me.” He scoffed. “I’ll see you later.”

~

“Are you ready to go?” Peter asked after the last bell had rang. You shouldered your backpack and shut your locker, feeling unusually anxious around him. You could deal with Peter for 40 minutes at a time when all you did was trade insults. Something about walking to his home together and spending time alone knocked the confidence right out of you.

“I’m ready.” You nodded.

“What, no insult?” He asked. “No mocking of my voice?”

“We were assigned each other as partners so we could learn to be civil, right?” You shrugged. “I guess I’m just mature enough to give it a try.”

“There she is.” Peter smiled as you began to walk in the direction of his apartment. “There’s my girl.”

You looked to the side when you heard him say this, unsure of how it made you feel. You often called each other pet names ironically, but this felt different. There was a change in the dynamic between the two of you and it was clouding your judgment.

You let Peter do all the talking as you walked home, thankful that he lived so close to the school. He spewed out ideas for the project the entire elevator ride up and didn’t stop until you were standing outside his bedroom door.

Peter stopped talking and opened the door, gesturing for you to go inside. You made a face at him before walking, staying in one spot as he shut the door and sat down. You were frozen as you looked around his room, not liking how human it made him. He had notes from classes you didn’t have with him strewn around and an open first aid kit on his desk.

“You can sit.” He chuckled when he noticed how stiff you were.

“I’m scared to.” You admitted.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” You answered honestly. Something about sitting on this boys bed with him seemed finalizing, like you’d be opening a door you couldn’t close.

“Just sit down.” He repeated. “I didn’t rig the place with boobytraps, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“That’s what someone who rigged the place with booby traps would say.” You replied as you took a hesitant seat on his bed.

“There. Isnt that nice?” He asked sarcastically.

“No.” You said immediately. “Am I the first girl to ever sit on your bed?”

“Psh. No.”

“I’ll take that as a yes ma’am.” You mumbled.

“Whatever.” He replied. “What do you want to do the project on?”

“How about micropenises?” You suggested. “You won’t even have to do any research.”

“Haha. So funny.” He rolled his eyes. “You are so annoying it’s actually impressive.”

“Please.” You laughed. “You so have a crush on me.”

“What?” His entire face went red. “No I don’t.”

“No I don’t.” You mimicked his voice. “Yes you do. That’s why you’re up my ass all the time.”

“That makes no sense.” He scoffed.

“It makes total sense.” You insisted. “You know I’ll never like you back, so you made me hate you. That way, you still get to talk to me all the time. Genius, really. I applaud you.”

“That’s a nice little fantasy you’ve created for yourself. Is that what you tell yourself to help you fall asleep?” He teased you.

“Yep.” You smiled brightly. “Right after I finger blast myself to the thought of you in your Catholic schoolboy sweaters.”

“Oh my God.” His cheeks turned even redder at your inappropriate joke.

“And they said women aren’t funny.” You used his words from earlier.

“They were right.” He said, making you laugh.

“God, I love it when you talk down to me.” You fanned yourself. “Can you tell me how to change a tire?”

Peter began to laugh as well, looking at you as you both laughed. You quickly stopped laughing when you realized you just gave him a genuine smile and looked away.

“Do you want to do the project on tensile strength?” You suggested to break the tension. “I know you’re weirdly into that.”

“How’d you know?” He wondered.

“You almost popped a boner when we talked about in last month.” You teased him. “It’s just rope, dude.”

“It’s not just rope. It’s the force-“

“-the force required to pull something until it breaks. I know.” You finished his sentence. “I’m smart too, you know.”

“Oh.” He was dumbfounded that you knew something he was interested in. “I didn’t know.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Women use brain sometime. Woman say smart thing like man.”

Peter laughed again, realizing you were actually kind of funny when you wanted to be.

“I’m not a misogynist, you know.” Peter said after a beat. “You don’t have to make jokes like that. I may not like you, but I respect you.”

“You respect me?” You raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“I respect all women. The strongest person I know is my Aunt. Plus, I’ve still never met anyone who was as smart as my mom. I wouldn’t be half the man I was if it weren’t for the women who raised me.” He shrugged. “But it would be ignorant and naive of me to only respect woman who are related to me in some way. So I respect all of them unless they give me a reason not to.”

“Have I given you a reason not to?” You batted your eyelashes at him.

“Not yet.” He chuckled to himself. “You’re annoying, but you’re brilliant. I know you would never admit this, but we’re basically the same person. You’re just more extroverted so you have more friends and popularity. And you’re smart but you don’t make that your whole personality, so it impresses more people when you let your intelligence show.”

Your body language shifted when you realized he was actually a nice guy. He clearly paid attention to you and was impressed by what he saw. You didn’t say anything, so Peter kept going.

“People lean in to listen when you start speaking instead of tuning you out.” He brought up your insult from earlier, and you felt bad. You didn’t realize he admired you in any way and you felt guilty for always teasing him. Peter’s kept his eyes down, playing with his fingers to distract himself.

“You’re…you’re kind of every thing I wanted to be.” He said quietly. You smiled softly at him, but he didn’t see it. It was the first time you had a nice moment with Peter, and you didn’t hate it. You could tell he was beginning to panic for sharing so much, so you reached forward and tilted his chin up to look at you. His wide eyes met yours and you gave him a small smile.

“How did your parents die?” You asked quietly, immediately ruining the moment.

“Damn.” Peter pulled away with a shocked laugh. “When was your first period?”

“All right. I get your point.” You rolled your eyes. “That was a little abrupt.”

“You’re telling me.” He teased. You sat in silence for a moment, neither of you sure where to go from there. You knew Peter was still processing you touching his face, so you talked first.

“My parents are dead too.” You said without looking up at him.

“They are?” He asked, scooting a little closer to you on the bed.

“Yeah.” You looked up and gave him a sad smile. “But if you think we’re gonna take a turn and fall in love because we have similar trauma, you’re wrong. I can’t stand orphans.”

“But you’re an orphan.” He reminded you.

“And?”

“Never mind.” He shook his head. “I have a feeling I won’t be getting through to you.”

“Probably not.” You agreed. “Tell me more, though. Did your parents die doing something cool?”

“I don’t really know.” He shrugged. “It was a plane crash. That’s all I’ve been told.”

“Oh.” You nodded. “Sounds lame.”

“What?”

“A plane crash?” You raised your eyebrow. “That’s so boring. Yawn.”

“Excuse me?” He laughed in shock again. “Fine. How did your parents die?”

“Firefighters.” You said proudly. “Died saving three children.”

“Wow.” Peter sat back, stumped.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “I was one of them.”

“Seriously?” His eyes widened as he fought the urge to hold your hand.

“No. I’m fucking with you.” You began to laugh as he let out a groan.

“Why would you do that to me?” He whined. “You had me, for a minute there.”

“What can I say? I’m an actor.” You flipped your hair ostentatiously.

“What actually happened?” He wondered. You stopped smiling and bit your bottom lip.

“Drunk driver.” You told him. He didn’t fight the urge this time and reached over to take your hand in his. You stared at your interlocked hands, wondering if you should pull away or not. On the one hand, he was your enemy. But that didn’t make his warmth any less inviting.

“I’m sorry.” He said softly. “That must have been really hard on you.”

“You know the feeling, don’t you?” You asked with a sad smile.

“I do.” He nodded. “And I know how much it sucked to not have someone who knew how it felt. You don’t have to feel that way anymore. Neither of us do.”

You opened your mouth to speak but quickly shut it, not wanting to ruin the moment again. The guy holding your hand was not the same guy who sat behind you in physics. This guy was someone you actually liked.

“I might have misjudged you, Peter Parker.” You laughed shyly. “You might not be as unbearable as I remembered.”

“And you might not be the frigid bitch I thought you were.” He matched your tone.

“Watch it.” You warned.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

“You were right.” You said after a beat. “We are pretty much the same person. I never realized that before.”

“Maybe that’s why we don’t get along.” He shrugged, rubbing soft circles into your hand.

“I’d be willing to give it a try, if you were.” You said sheepishly. “Who knows? I might just like you.”

“You want to give this a try?” He asked, eyes lighting up in excitement.

“Why not?” You shrugged. “What do I have to lose?”

“Okay.” He nodded eagerly. “Then we’ll try.”

“Cool.” You smiled.

“Cool.” He said before leaning in for a kiss. Your eyes widened as his fluttered shut, making you realize you were on different pages. His lips made contact with yours for a few seconds before you pushed him off.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked as you covered your mouth with your hand.

“Kissing you?” He asked in confusion as hurt flashed in his eyes.

“Why the hell would you do that?” You exclaimed, still in shock. You got off the bed and backed away from him, trying to process what just happened.

“You said we were giving it a try!” He was shouting now too, but not out of anger. “I thought we were finally admitting that we like each other.”

“I meant giving friendship a try! I never said anything about a relationship.” You shouted. You quieted down when you saw the upset look on his face. “You... you like me?”

“I thought it was obvious.” He said quietly. “I-I thought you knew. You said it before and I just…I thought you knew.”

“Peter, I was joking when I said all that stuff.” You calmed down and sat back on his bed. “I didn’t actually think you liked me.”

“Oh.” He blinked a few times before looking down. “I…I do.”

“Peter, I’m sorry.” You reached for his hand again but his withdrew it.

“No, it’s my fault.” He shook his head and got off the bed. “I misunderstood the situation.”

“Peter, wait.” You caught him by the wrists and pulled him back down to the bed. He sat down again but looked anywhere but at you. You could see that his eyes were glassy so you put a hand on his face.

“You were right.” His voice wavered. “I did like you and I did think you’d never like me back. That’s why I always tease you. I just wanted you to talk to me.”

“Pete.” You whispered, rubbing his cheekbone with your thumb.

“I’m sorry. I really don’t want to be here right now. I’ll email you my part of the project and-“

You cut him off by wrapping your hand around the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss. You both had your eyes closed this time and it lasted much longer. Your lips moved against his slowly and you could feel how inexperienced he was. Even so, it was perfect. You pulled away after a minute and looked into his eyes, feeling better now that there were no traces of sadness in them.

“You kissed me.” He said, dumbfounded.

“I can’t know I don’t like you back if I never give you a chance.” You shrugged as you withdrew your hand from his face.

“Well what did you decide?” He asked curiously. You puckered your lips and tilted your head, staring at him as if you were making a decision.

“I still think you’re super annoying.” You concluded.

“Okay.” Peter nodded.

“But it’s an annoying I’m willing to put up with.” You decided as you slipped your hand back into his. Peter broke out into a smile and nodded again.

“Okay.”

Tag List 🏷

@awesomebooklover17​ @thebookwormlife​ @imanativeofswlondondahling​ @weirdr-artiest​ @serendipitous-amor​ @dummiesshort​

@foreverxholland @lavender-writer​ @michaela072796​ @whatareyouhidingpeter​ @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning​ @imyourliquor-youremypoison​ @andreasworlsboring101 @waiting-to-be-myself​ @letsloveimagines​ @peterparkoure​ @a-villain-vying-for-attention​ @justcallmehitgirl​ @jackiehollanderr​ @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @maryjanee23​ @geeksareunique​ @emmamarshmellow​ @unbelievableholland​ @flixndchill​ @sovereignparker​ @thisisthebiplace​ @spideydobrik​ @every-marveler-ever​ @undiadeestos​ @caelestii-e​ @eridanuswave​ @itscaminow​ @fiantomartell​ @solarxmoonchild​ @canyouevencauseicant​ @illwritetomorrow​ @thehappygrungelife​ @saysomethingspiderman​ @smilexcaptainx​ @quaksonhehe​ @kelieah​ @kickingn-ames​ @seasidecrowbar​ @lovelessdagger​ @love-sick-blues​ @electraheart-3174​ @unbelievableholland​ @yourtypicalhotmess​ @spideyanakin​ @horanxholland​ @thesuitelifeofafangirl​ @anapocalypseinmymind​ @marshxx​ @heyheycharlatte​ @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie​ @tomshufflepuff​ @cookiemonstermusic258​

@maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey @im-still-tryin-to-find-it @big-galaxy-chaos @pandaxnienke @theincredibledeadlyviper  @thestylestour  @officialsimppage @mrvelscaptains @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours @satanswitchings @okkulta @parkerlovebot @jungkxxkk @friendlyneighborhood-mendes @whatthefuckimbisexual @olixerwxxd @starkbrain @creatorofthegalaxy @far-from-holland @f-hollands @ilovefrogs1000 @itstaskeen @itmatteredatthetime @wrendermeuseless @amazinggracy @slutforsebstan @iprobablyshipit91 @magicalxdaydream @whereismytelephone @theonly1outof-a-billion @leilanixx @namoreno @bi-lmg @dracoswhore007 @tomhollandloml @avengers-hamiltrash @sunshinepeterparkr @gh0stgurl @so-very-asleep @veryholland  @white-wolf1940 @spideycheles @w0nderzwndaya @fanficaddict13125 @pinklxmonade @thebestqueenoftheworld @nowayhomeparker @willowestelle

[bamberry]

With Marinette’s emotional state in utter shit, here’s some angst I’ve been thinking about. (Spoilers if you haven’t seen S4 or rocketear)

-Marinette just found out Alya told Nino she was still Rena Rogue. Possible Alya and Marinette fight.

-“You did what?”

-“It seemed like the best choice.”

-Cue Marinette giving into all the bad outcomes and worst case scenarios. Y’know, her rambling.

-she starts saying things without clear thought.

“I should have never given you the miraculous back. I knew this would happen. I’m such a idiot for thinking everything would be fine.” Marinette says.

-Her emotions are high. The anxiety about Hawkmoth finding out her identity is overwhelming her.

- “Marinette, calm down. We’re still in this together.”

- “Are we?”

-Alya is taken back,”What?”

-“Are we really in this together? because it seems to me that you go just go ahead and make the decisions without discussing things with me first.”

- *cough* parallel to her situation with chat noir

-“Well if you trust me, you would trust me my better judgement, wouldnt you?

-“I don’t know. I don’t know if I can even trust you anymore.”

- Alya takes a look at Marinette who is not her charismatic self anymore.

-“You don’t actually mean that.” Alya begins to feel the betrayal of Marinette’s words.

- Cue Marinette’s alarm ringing as a reminder for her patrol with Chat Noir.

-“I do.”

- She takes off to patrol with Chat Noir, leaving Alya stunned and hurt.

-A dozen emotions flood Marinette’s senses. Guilt, Betrayal, Sadness, Pity, and self depreciation. She did get into a fight with Alya. It was her fault after all, it was her mistake of telling Alya. She couldn’t blame anyone but herself.

- She makes it to Chat Noir, he’s quieter than usual but she doesn’t think much of it. She’s been thinking too much.

-She doesn’t know that Chat Noir has had a real bad day. She doesn’t know his father was harsher than usual, she doesn’t know that he found out about Rena and Carapace, and she doesn’t know that he feels completely left out of her life.

-“Milady, are you doing okay?” Chat Noir asks, regardless of everything. He still asks, because he still cares.

-“It’s not important Chaton.” She lies right through her teeth. Chat Noir knows she’s lying. He can’t help but feel the anger in him bubble lightly.

-“Does it have to do with any of the other heroes?” Chat Noir asks.

-Ladybug looks at him with pity,”it’s probably best you don’t know..”

-“So what exactly can I know then, Milady? Because it just seems like I’m the only person left out of the loop as of late.”

-“Chat.. please don’t take it personal-“

-“No I think I will take it personal, Milady, Or whoever is behind that mask. I get you’re guardian and everything but you said nothing would change between us. You said you trusted me more than anyone else.

“Chat-“

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

-he finally snaps, he finally tells her that he knows about Rena Rogue and Carapace.

-Ladybug stands in fear. Her heart starts to race uncontrollably.

-“I- I’m sorry chaton i -“ Ladybug sputters out. She can’t avoid the subject. She feels trapped into a corner.

-“Why can’t you trust me? Isnt trust suppose to go both ways? What happened? We were suppose to be in this together! Instead you go ahead decide what you think is best.”

-He’s crying.

- She reaches out to grab Chat Noir’s arm, in attempt to calm him down. Her arms tremble, all that could race through her head were images of Chat Blanc.

- He moves from her grip, tears streaming down his face,” All you do is keep things from me, do you even need me anymore? Do you even want me as your partner? Am I just not good enough for you?”

-All the shouting, he didn’t notice Ladybug

-he touches his ring,”I think it’s best if I-“

-He hears someone choke back a sob.

- He looks up at her.

-she’s completely shaken up. Her body trembling as she attempts to wipe the tears falling from her face.

-Chat Noir stares at her slightly stunned.

-She runs her hands through her hair as she lets out another sob. Full on breakdown.

- “what have I done”

-“It’s all my fault…” Ladybug’s breath quickens

-“I did this, it’s me, it’s all because of me. I’ve been so horrible, to you, to alya. To everyone.”

- Chat Noir can’t help but feel guilty, it’s just who he is. He reaches out to her, just as she did to him.

- she takes a couple steps back shaking her head. Tears flooding her eyes.

-“ I can’t - do this ….master su-han was right.. I’m not cut out for this. I’ve done nothing but fail. I wasn’t met to be guardian- I never was never meant to be Ladybug.”

- Chat noir is taken back,“Mi’lady wait-“

-It’s too late, she zips away on her yo-yo and back to her house. Because the girl who always has a solution doesn’t have one anymore.

[yinses]

B R A N D E D

| he would make sure that everyone knew who you belonged to |

tattoo artist! sukuna ryomen

rating: t

a/n: this is going to be a three part series. it got too long because i couldn’t shut up. thank you to @teoran for beta reading !! 

you should have never informed yuuji that you were thinking about getting a tattoo, because of course his first response would be hey, sukuna owns a shop. why don’t you stop there. as if you didn’t already known that. your other friend, unfortunately had not known how to be subtle about it.

its when you go to hand off your card that they gasp audibly, drawing the attention of both yourself and the woman behind the counter.

“you’re not going to ask for a discount? i mean you know the owner, right?”

she jumps back quick enough to dodge the errant elbow you throw her way.

you knew you would regret telling her.

the woman is undeterred as she take your card, looking bored with the news. “so you know sukuna, huh?” the way she said it implied that it wasn’t the first time it had been made known to her.

you had known the man long enough to know where her thoughts were going with that assumption. sukuna wasn’t only popular for his art. a shudder rolled through your body at the idea of being categorized as one of his flings.

it wasn’t as though you were intentionally shaming the women. but it was sukuna. the same guy who locked you and his younger brother out on the patio whenever he was meant to keep an eye on you. and then blamed you for hiding from him when the responsible adults got home.

in hindsight, maybe you should have chosen another location. but now your card has been charged.

you scribbled your signature on the receipt, “uh yeah, awhile now. im not requesting him or anything.”

“his appointment book is full anyway. he doesn’t take walk ins.” its not said snidely, just matter of fact. as if she was seasoned with dealing with these kind of customers.

the man of topic strides in then, carrying a few bags of take-out that he drops carelessly onto the counter. he doesn’t m look unlike any other day, a loose white sleeveless shirt with a low hanging v-neck that just invited attention to his skin. the swirls of black ink made permanent by his hand only. though that was the advantage of this field and owning your own business on top of it.

sukuna was prepared to ignore the clientele planted at front desk, until he did a double take. those vermilion eyes took you in, morphing from speculation, to shock, a pinch of awe, then back to postulation.

“what are you doing here?”

a small frown mars you face. you didn’t actually consider that perhaps sukuna wouldn’t want you here. it was one thing to know the guy, but whether you wanted to accept it or not, you weren’t just another customer. so you unsurely respond with, “getting a tattoo?”

the snort he gives isn't one of annoyance. in fact its almost comforting to see the minuscule curl of his lips until they start to part, “yeah, missing something aren’t you?”

you realize with a frown that he’s referring to his brother.

“i have other friends.”

that slow smile wides as he gives your friend a brief look of appreciation. suddenly all those years of witnessing him cart his flings around rise to the forefront of your mind.  really nothing rarely changed. “ i can see that.”

his gaze cuts back to you, “what are you getting? your boyfriends name?”

you cant tell if he’s teasing, fishing or a combination of them both.

he turns to lean over the counter, arms flexing at the action and pinches the fresh design still hot from the printer. you resist the urge to shuffle in place as he inspects the image with more interest than there were lines. it was hardly all that complex, just as you intended.

sukuna finally voices his opinion, to no surprise of your own. “yeah? kind of small isn’t it?”

“its my first sukuna,” you drawl.

you realize too late that the wording isnt best around him.

“no kidding.”

he tugs a styrofoam box free from the plastic bag before gesturing to you with a tilt of his head.

“alright, lets knock it out.”

you look to the woman expecting her to complain about his pending appointments but she only returns it with a pointed look. when it came down to it, what the boss wanted goes.

right then.

turning, you address your friend who seemed more invested in watching sukuna’s departure. “are you coming?”

her gaze snaps to you and she doesn’t even bother to pretend. she shrugs, “you may not be squeamish about needles but i am.” her hand waves vaguely towards the lounge area near the coffee station and stack of assorted snacks. “i’ll come running if you scream though,” she teases as you turn down the hall.

sukuna’s voice carries from the right in guidance where you find him setting his food off to the side. the room is neat. though you don’t know what you were expecting given the health expectations lining his work. then again, you’d spent the better part of the decade watching him cart week old pizza boxes out of his room so it was hardly a baseless assumption.

aside from the desk of tools and variety of inks the only other defining feature was the wall at the back. there was no rhyme or direction to the madness. the once white wall was littered with varying penmanships and messages. almost like an autograph book. some derogatory, others genuinely thankful for his work - you think you see a few numbers too.

the cushion of the seat protests under his weight as he rolls to the center of the room. he has the stencil of your chosen art held up in expectation.

“where is this pretty little thing going?”

“oh my rib- here on the right.” you think nothing of bringing up the hem of your shirt to expose the skin just under the curve of your breast.

he almost looks impressed, though there is some doubt. he wheels closer and gives no warning as his hand palpates the area. “over the bone? that’s daring for your first tattoo, princess.”

the name was nothing new, an accompaniment to yuuji’s ‘brat’.

part of you actually grateful that its sukuna. the entire shop had good reviews but it was best known for his talent. besides, the charge was already sitting on your card.

“i can handle it.”

he’s still squinting at your side, fingers tickling at your skin.

“yeah?” he answers absently. nimble digits you didn't think had any taste for delicacy carefully peel the plastic from the stencil. he doesn’t second guess himself in the slightest before pressing it to your skin.

when he pulls away, the chair follows him as he collects a hand mirror from his desk to reflect the design back to you.

“double sure?” he’s still rallying your resolve, but there is a hint of warning to his voice as professionalism seeps in.

with a firm nod you seal the deal,” yeah.”

“aright, pin up your shirt out of the way. tuck it into your bra if you want.”

you were expecting this already, given the location you’d decided on. with sukuna that action comes effortlessly without thought. it was no different than the times he’d seen you in your bathing suit, your brain reasoned. at least you still had your pants this time.

sukuna rests back into a lean against his small desk. absently you note that his eyes haven't left you once since you’d entered the room.

“eager little thing aren't you?”

but its sukuna.

you shrug.“ i guess. kind of been saving up for this one.”

the noise he makes is non-committal as he nods to the angled chair.

without your shirt there was no barrier between yourself and the leather. you expected the cold chill but the lack of stickiness kind of surprised you. once again you were reminded of the indisputable list of reviews at your fingertips.

sukuna goes about collecting the materials to disinfect your skin, angling the bottle and cotton over the trash can to catch the excess drops. satisfied with the saturation, he slides back.

you try to absorb the brief shock you feel when he applies the alcohol to your skin. it was hardly a substitute for actual bracing to come but it was good practice. when you look up, you catch his gaze again.

he’d been more observant in these last few minutes than you could ever recall sukuna caring before. maybe it was the job. though the thought of him excelling at customer service has you fighting a snort.

“cold,” you supply and he gives another grunt.

he chucks the cotton ball into the trash with all the efficiency of a man who has made a sport out of it and probably keeps score.

deciding on a solid color eliminated the need for him to break away to change shades, eliminating any surplus time keeping you in this chair.

a gloved hand braces your side, pinching the skin, while the other holding the gun rests against your sternum. when the motor starts you take a careful breath in. sukuna’s eyes raise at the sound.

“not nervous?”

you blink, expecting him to just get to it.

“uh, not really? i’ve never really been afraid of needles.”

he pauses. just when you part your lips to ask what wrong the buzzing starts.

its impossible not to tense at the first bite of the needle. but you fight the urge to jerk. it stings. the vibration of the motor is uncomfortable against your ribcage but it's not unbearable. you certainly wouldn't cry.

sukuna seems to notice it as well.

“not going to lie thought you’d be more of a cry baby? weren't you the one sobbing after you stubbed your toe.”

you latch onto the idle chatter even if it's a jibe.

“i was eleven and i sprained that toe.”

he gives you a quick glance. “sure, princess. completely called for the waterworks.”

you snort. “yeah well it made me stronger. im barely affected today.”

your words are followed by a shift of his hand as it turns to follow a line, the movement pressing firmly against the underside of your breast. you're too attentive to the needle pinching at your skin to take notice.

but sukuna does, eyes narrowing without your awareness.

“yeah, i can see that.”

rather than closing your eyes to block out the pain, you find a more comforting distraction in tracing the lines of his tattoos with your gaze. you can hardly make out the first tattoo he’d gotten at the age of seventeen after forging his parents signature. 

the abstract design had now branched out, interlocking with new styles to map out the formation of a sleeve. it was almost like his own branded language. a dialect of bold shapes and bands. you’d never thought to actually ask what his tattoos meant. nor did you expect an honest answer.  

sukuna works rather quickly and efficiently while your mind wandered. even if he hadn’t squeezed you in during his lunch break this felt like the usual pace for him. he looked so in the zone as he followed the pre-made lines to perfection.

you weren’t the model customer, still having your brief moments of weakness but he rolled with the interruptions better than you expected. sukuna was brash growing up and didn’t tolerate nonsensical people. you’d had your fair share of opportunities to be chewed out by him.

and earned a reasonable amount of them, though your returning attitude said otherwise.

but this sukuna was softer, if you could put it like that. he knew the right time to give you breaks but didn’t let your nerves settle too much. when he wasn’t adding a layer to permanency to your skin, an errant finger would smooth over the swelling flesh.

more than once you heard him throw out a quiet good girl. that you knew was meant to be encouraging but it came with additional implications that tickled your skin.

he tells you that you should be grateful that the artwork doesn’t need any shading. that it was never a good fit for beginners.

your chest expands the furthest it had in the last half hour when he finally rolls back.

“alright, princess, go ahead and take a look.”

you take the offered mirror again and angle it to take in the fresh piece. the reflection you get back is- amazing. you’d been so concentrated?? on micromanaging the pain that you failed to take in the little details he’d added along with the original design.

as if reading your thoughts, he snorts. “it's not my art if i don't leave my mark. you can tell me it looks good you know.”

if you didn't know any better, you’d say he was authentic in his attempt to bait your approval.

and you had no reason not to provide.

your legs are a little shaky but you manage to balance yourself before brining the eldest itadori into a hug. sukuna goes stiff for a moment before returning the embrace and doesn’t resist when you press your face into his shoulder. there’s an awkward pat before they release each other from the hold.

sukuna .. before he’s shrugging you off.

“god, what a noob. at least let me cover it up. you’re going to irritate the skin.”

when he turns back to rummage through his desk you note the hint of a flush creeping up his nape. you know better than to mention it, instead just smiling at his back.

there is a scowl on his face as he applies the cotton square to your skin and tapes it in place.

“please do not itch this shit. i don’t care if you feel like your skin is going to fall off.”

he presses a small tube of antibiotic into your hand.

“and apply this daily. you don't need it drying out. “

you’re grateful for the little slip of printed instructions that follow. you were able to remember the sensible directions but it couldn't hurt to have additional guidance when you started to question the progress.

“oh and no sex.”

that was definitely not on the list.

sukuna raises a brow in all seriousness. “what? if you get your blood pumping too much.”

you call him on his bullshit,” this small? hardly. “

he raises his hands in mock surrender. “alright, try it yourself if you want. i charge for touch ups though.”

the two of you size each other up. just like old times.

with a sigh you relent, “fine, no sex.”

“good, see me in two weeks.”

his words stop you short. it wasn’t as if you needed anything added and he wasn’t a physician checking on your progress. if anything, you would only revisit your artist if there was a problem.

“what for?”

the dawning grin would follow you for the next fourteen days.

“to make sure you didn’t have sex.”

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

my henrik! lore under the cut: 

early-mid 40’s, cis male/very closeted trans woman (he him/she her), bisexual, 6’2”

henrik is literally the CLOSEST thing to canon my egos are gonna get. like, henrik is still a “”DOCTOR”” and DEFINITELY still has his medical license to perform surgeries. definitely.

and as for personality, well, theyre very similar. like ok. i see stuffy, serious henriks in fics all the time, and i for real think yall are forgetting canon henrik. he’s Passionate, hes Loud, he yells and he’s a lil narcissistic at times but hes loveable and cares very much for jack and his friends. and thats really who my henrik is personality-wise.

hes got some sass and snark to him, hes very smart and analytical, he lets his passion for his work and his hobbies roam free. now, could this boisterous personality be hiding his true fears, his gender dysphoria, his need for love and validation? possibly but shhh

henrik is another ego with a backstory! its somewhat simple early on, he was a single kid with strict parents, growing up in rural germany. he was very smart and school was a joke, he made friends and got both the ladies and the fellas when he went to college for his doctorate. but, he never finished his degree because he flunked out, partially out of laziness and his idea that he was smart enough to be a surgeon without a license, the fact that he WAS doing surgeries illegally for people who didnt want to go to “real” doctors because they were also doing illegal stuff (yes my henrik is involved in crime but thats neither here nor there), and also because he was distracted by meeting his Wife.

he gets married to anne, a dentist he fell head over heels in love with, and had three children with-two twin girls and a son. he went to jail a few times for petty crimes and eventually being found performing surgeries without a license, but he had good lawyers and didnt serve long. his life before the egos was strange and filled with crime and love and family, all kinds of wacky shenanigans. hes an interesting person.

but, his son tragically passed in a car accident, which happened before he was brought to life, so to speak. he was still grieving the loss of his son and the divorce that followed, so he was kinda quiet when he was born.

so thats in general who this guy is. but with the plot, the reason henrik was created was because of jackie. when jackie was born, jack wasnt getting him help or the medications he needed because of his schizophrenia. as such, he was very sick and mentally unstable, and jack needed someone smart who could get him that help without having the doctors ask about “histories” birth certificates, etcedera.

henrik actually never knew he was created for jackie, but still, he got him the help he needed, often caring for jackie on his bad days, secretly hoping for jackie to love him back. but henrik…never felt that jackie did. in fact, theres a lot to henrik and jackie’s relationship. and as the plot moves along, henrik grows distasteful and angry towards jackie. when he starts ‘favoring’ chase over him, he gets jealous. when jackies schizophrenia leaves him bedridden, henrik is left alone and grows bitter towards jackie and his illness as jack is, not very nice to henrik when jackie isnt around (but again, thats a conversation for another day). and theres something that snaps inside him, when he finds out jackie is trans, and is out, happy, transitioned, validated, and henrik…henrik is not. and its immature and childish, but henrik HATES jackie for it.

but with his relationships with the other egos, they were pretty good. he and marvin became best friends, he adores chase, and of course, he falls for jameson hard. with the egos, hes like the mama that scolds everyone if they forget to eat, patching up scrapes and bruises and making sure they all stay out of trouble, despite the things that henrik himself does for a living. hes like the counterpart to jackie, being the second parent of the household when jack is taken.

[msookyspooky]

Request for Severen with a s/o that is very sentimental about him and the family (Hooker clan) that keeps pictures from over the years. Mostly candid snap shots of the s/o and the family goofing off, posing in front of landmarks / national heritage type stuff around the country, and a few proper family pictures of the group together. I can’t stop thinking about this LMAO.

Ooh I love this one so much!!!! 🖤🥺

Severen with a Sentimental S/O

You make this old man feel things, okay? He's not used to someone being so caring, loving and kind hearted in general; least of all to him. It's got him head over heels for you.

Severen doesn't consider himself sentimental just because he isn't sentimental with objects or places. But that's bullshit because he isnt counting how attatched he gets with certain people. He doesn't bond with others often, so when he does, they mean everything to him. He is super protective and attached to his family and S/O. He would die or kill for them. So, his partner loving his family as much as he does warms his cold heart.

He teases you all the time about being so sweet on him and the family whenever you would outwardly express how much they all meant to you.

(Acts like he isn't as if he wasn't fuming and going to tear Caleb apart for unknowingly hurting Mae by feeding on her. As if he doesn't put himself head first into any situation to protect everyone else. As if he doesn't bond with Jesse over memories or joke around with Homer or show DB nothing but respect despite being so much younger than him. As if he didn't feel anything over bonding with Caleb; GIVING HIM A SPUR HE HAD FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG and the immense rage he felt at the betrayal...He will deny it and tease you but the facts don't lie that he has a sentimental side as well he just refuses to admit it.)

You had a tendency to keep things that reminded you of them but sadly some things just couldn't be kept. Jesse scolded you for trying to take too much on a move once and you sadly told him that you had to take it because it reminded you of them. He would soften up a bit at that but still told you you could only choose a few items. They had limited space and were on the move. Severen secretly told you you could pack a few things in his bag if they were small enough.

He finds it freakin adorable when you find little things you like that remind you of him or anyone else in the family!!! Like, you care enough about him to keep a ring or a bottlecap or any other trinket because it reminds you of a memory you shared together? It honestly makes him so incredibly soft for you in a way he isn't with most people; not even the rest of the Hooker Clan.

You carried your camera everywhere. It was a no brainer on what to take with you to any new stay. Whenever you all had to change vehicles, you made sure it was with you. You lost it once and broke down sobbing when you thought you forgot it in a camper you all had to leave behind. All they knew was it was 'your bag'. Severen got it back for you and you practically tackled him with how relieved you were.

He's never considered himself domestic by any means but there is a sense of family when you have them all take photos at travel destinations togther. He lived in the present night after night for well over a century. Sure, him and Jesse had fond memories but they never went out of their way to document them. And here you are forcing them to pose in front of run down gas stations or national monuments for a keep sake. You force them to make stops while traveling all the time. They act annoyed but they secretly love having a member of their clan that cares enough to make memories like that. (Sometimes you do annoy them though; especially Homer and Jesse.)

Their clan was family but no one ever really out right said it till you came along. You brought everyone together with how loving you were towards them. You have a tendency to smooth things over and force them to bond over time. It wasn't easy but you managed.

They take care of their own. So you being so damn sweet and loving towards them all? Oh my God. They are all SUPER protective of you. (HC Caleb even calls you his sibling after you jokingly called Jesse and DB mom and dad.)

They know about the pictures you got them to pose for while traveling or hunting. They know of the very few formal pictures you took with the timer on your camera of all of you together....However, they don't know the countless candid pics you've snapped over all those years.

As for how everyone looks KNOWING their pics are taken; Despite being decades old Homer poses like an angsty tween by hiding his face or flipping you off. Jesse just stands there with a straight face. Mae tries, bless her heart, but she's kind of awkward. Caleb is twice as awkward because he tries too damn hard to look like a badass in every photo and comes off cringy...Diamondback is extremely photogenic; she looks like a super model no matter how grimy or bloodstained. Severen is back and forth. You definitely have pictures of him just standing there with blood on his face looking bored or tired and you have others of him being his flirty goofy self. It depends on his mood. Most of them are casual though. He's an ass. He will do the goofiest shit when you want him to be serious and any other picture he's just chilled out. Lots of them look like this:

Severen is completely suprised to realize you took pictures of him when he wasn't looking. Not necessarily a bad surprise but he is confused why you took them. He ends up finding it endearing when you admit you just felt like they were moments you wanted to remember of him and each others company.

"Shit." He muttured as every single thing from your bag fell out onto the floor of the new camper they got. You were outside with Diamondback and Jesse to get a bit of night air. Waiting on Mae, Caleb and Homer to get back from their individual hunts. Most likely about to play poker just to pass the time till the sun came up once everyone got back.

He rolled his eyes and got on his knees to pick some things up. He didn't want it looking like he was snooping. He was trying to shove his bag next to yours in a closet and your bag was open. Gravity happened and now he was cursing and picking up every single thing.

He picked up a photo facing downward. 'Grand Canyon' With the year and a few little notes scribbled on the back. He flipped it over and couldn't help the smirk pulling at the side of his mouth. It was nighttime with the flash on of course. He had on a pair of shades he stole standing in between Diamondback and Jesse with his arms over both their shoulders. Jesse stood there, DB gave a closed smile and he wore a huge grin for you. You begged them to take it. You begged Homer too but he refused. Severen telling him in response: "Fine ya lil boner, save the camera from cracking anyways." That brought out the revolvers. You yelled at them to let you get a few more pictures before they had bloody holes all over their shirts.

He picked up another one that made him openly smile to himself as he felt that soft warmth he only felt for you spreading through his chest. It was of you with your arms wrapped around his shoulders, standing on his boots, stealing his shades to put them on yourself, making a silly face for the camera as he grinned down at you. Mae offered to take it after you took couples pictures of her and Caleb and Jesse and DB. He flipped it over to read. "Me and Sev. ♡ They look better on me. ;)" He huffed to himself with a huge grin as he read what you wrote. It had to have been early in your relationship because you all hadn't been to Arizona in years.

He heard you enter the camper and realized there was no use in hiding the fact he spilled your shit everywhere.

You looked surprised as he held up the photo. "I forgot all about this. Thank God for you and your sappy ass, sentimental, lovey dovey lil heart." He chuckled out. You smiled and sat on the ground next to him as he picked up photos. "It's not sappy! I love you guys. I wanted to make memories."

He gave a you knowing smile and nodded to himself as he skimmed through pictures he picked up.

He went to pick one up and you snatched it out of his hand. He blinked at you as his brows scrunched in confusion. "The hell?"

"Those are uh...They're bad copies. Blurry."

He tilted his head with a nonchalant shrug. "Welp. Guess they go in the trash-"

"No!" You jumped at him to grab one as he gave a bewildered smirk and held it out of your reach. "Honey, what is the problem with me taking a peek?...Are they of your secret lover or what?"

You gave him an annoyed glare as you tried reaching over him. "Yeah, it's my 50 different lovers I've had since meeting you. One from each state."

He smirked at that with a fake gasp. "I fuckin knew it. Here I thought I was yer one and only!" He sarcastically mocked before raising a brow in thought. "Or are ya just being shy cause it's a naughty picture of you? Wait...Did we ever take any pictures in the sack?"

"No...Now, give it!"

He shoved you away with one hand. "Well damn, why the hell not? We need to get to it before that sun starts creepin up on us."

"Severen, give me the damn picture back."

You stared a moment before jumping, almost getting it until he jumped to his feet and looked at it. Your cheeks heated as he looked confused. He turned it around to show you.

"Why do ya have a picture of me adjusting one of my spur straps for?"

He raised a brow as you blushed and shrugged. "Just...A moment I thought you looked good and wanted to save it."

A slow sideways smile pulled at his mouth. "You thought I looked good doin that?...I mean, can't disagree but still." He teased, instantly looking at the ground and snatching another one before you could stop him.

He blinked repeatedly. "...Ya got a picture of me sleeping?"

"Yeah, so?"

He scoffed with a laugh. "That's fuckin creepy as hell, ya lil stalker."

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever, I thought you looked cute!"

He laughed at that with his brows raised. "Cute?" Turning the picture around to show you with his mouth open, hair a mess, a double chin, head lulled back and about to fall off a chair.

"Yes!" You defended yourself. He hung his head with a small disbelieving chuckle. "Well, I guess I'm flattered I can look like complete horseshit and you find that...Cute."

He picked up another one. This one had his eyes lighting up as he released a bark of laughter. Despite your embarrassment you peeked over his shoulder and grinned at the one he found.

"HA! Oohhh, sweet darlin... That short stack is gonna blow." He had nothing but complete glee in his eyes at the photo he picked up.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

The picture was Homer posing away from you as a joke to someone he was arguing with. A side profile of a hand on his hip with a cigarette, other hand in his hair, making a mocking kissy face. Severen slipped it in his pocket. "THAT'S gonna be mine."

You tilted your head and gave him a look. "Sev."

"It's just for myself. I ain't ratting you out." He gave but he knew he'd just lie and say he took it the minute he got the chance. Using that as leverage was too good to pass up.

You sighed before giving in and picking up another one to show him. You smiled to yourself. It was a picture of DB and Severen dancing hand in hand after a hunt. Then one of Caleb and Mae laughing together. Severen looked amused as his eyes scanned all the pictures you were showing him. You pulled out another of Diamondback on Jesse's lap looking tenderly at each other. Severen stealing Caleb's hat. Another of Mae dancing on a bar with DB. One with Homer and Diamondback with their revolvers target practing outside under a street light. One of half your smiling face with Homer in the background flipping you off. Followed by one of Severen, Mae and Caleb jumping off a moving train car under a bunch of lights, huge grins on their faces.

Severen snorted. "I remember Caleb ate shit when his face hit the fuckin ground."

"Oh, and you didn't? I'm pretty sure you broke your ankle and walked it off all night."

He scoffed, giving you an offended look. "I've been train hopping since before your grandpa did your grandma and had your daddy. I didn't break a damn thing!"

"Mm-hmm. Whatever you say. I guess the limp was pretend, huh?" You interrupted him before he could give a counter argument by handing him another picture. This one of the whole family except for you laughing at a table together. Genuinely happy to be in each others company after a long night.

He shook his head with a small smile at that one. "...When did you even take all these?"

"Over the years."

"But how? We hear everything. I can't imagine we wouldn't hear a click or see a flash or somethin'..."

You shrugged. "You all get so distracted when you're having fun you don't seem to ever notice."

"But why? What's so special about me screwin around with my bootstrap or Homer sitting on his ass smoking?"

You sighed to yourself, thinking for moment. "...It's just. We make so many good memories together and I wanted something to remind myself of all you. If something ever happens; I want to remember all the good times I had with my family. When I ask you all to pose, it's just images. But taking these photos show how you all really are on a daily basis and that's what I want to keep."

He felt that butterfly effect in his stomach he rarely got before you came into his life. He tilted his head and smiled softly down at you. "Aww." It came out of his mouth before he even realized it. He wasn't ashamed of it, especially with the bashful smile you gave. "Yeah, yeah I know. Sappy."

He pulled you close, hands on the small of your back as he gazed down at you. "Yeah but you make sappy look appealin'. I swear, you're sweet as can be...What the hell are you doing with this band of misfits and how the fuck did we get so lucky?"

You smirked. "I don't know but I know you're all my favorite misfits. I'll admit, I have a specific favorite. Don't tell the others but I'm looking at him."

He leaned down, a rumble from his chest before he pressed his lips to yours. Pushing you close to him as you sighed into the kiss, hands gripping the collar of his jacket as he deepened it.

You heard the camper door and went to pull away but Severen held you close and just kissed you harder. You hit his chest and he just laughed against your lips, pulling back with a playful gleam in his eyes.

Jesse walked in, slugging off his trenchcoat. "I swear if we walk in on you both getting carried away again I'm emptying a bullet into your asshole, Severen."

Severen grinned and loosened his grip on you. "Jess, we're fully clothed and vertical this time."

Diamondback winked at you. "Yeah but you were vertical the last time too."

Jesse gave a slight smirk to her. "Well...One of you was-"

"Can we please change the subject?" You interrupted them as they all three chuckled amongst each other. Severen bent down to give you one more peck on the lips before walking over to show Jesse the picture.

"Shit Jess, look what I found! Seems like our favorite photographer has been taking some candid shots of us."

Jesse took it, holding out to take look. "Well, I'll be damned...When did you take this?"

DB was already walking over to help pick a few strays up off the floor. "Yeah, I don't remember any of these." She mumbled, sifting through them all.

You shrugged with a smile. "I just took em over the years. Little moments I wanted to remember of everyone."

DB smiled at you, sitting down to look through them. She showed Jesse the ones she liked as he sat beside her. Severen leaned against a crate as Diamondback finally frowned and pointed something out. "Ya know... These are missing something."

"What?" You blinked, folding your arms to lean against the counter.

She smiled. "You. You're only in a few of them."

"Well, considering no one knew..."

Severen instantly perked up, walked past you and grabbed your camera from the bag on the floor. "We're gonna change that. Say cheese."

He snapped a photo before you could even react. "Sev-" You smiled as it popped out. He snapped another as you went to get your camera. He shook his head with a dark chuckle. "Oooooh no. I don't wanna hear it. Ya took pictures of me sleeping, fixing my boot, laughing, falling off a train. I don't want to hear shit if I get a picture of you smilin' for me."

Jesse and Diamondback watched in amusement as he side stepped you laughing and trying to reach for your camera. Diamondback finally stood up and held out her hand. "Come on you two. How about I keep this with me the next day or so and snap a picture whenever the moment strikes? I promise I'll guard it with my life."

You hesitated but nodded. "Okay, that's a good idea. Thanks Diamondback."

You all were going through the pictures. Laughing at a few and smiling at others. Caleb and Mae walked in with Homer coming in a few moments later.

A shit eating grin formed on Severen's face as you pointed at him and mouthed 'no.'

Homer was none the wiser even if he asked why Severen had such a dumb look on his face the whole rest of the night. Severen would just shrug, subconsciously adjusting the picture in his pocket. You had a feeling he wouldn't be able to contain himself and bullets would be flying by time the sun came up.