#he doesnt drink much
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okay i just thought of the funniest fucking headcanon but what if the reason five cant find a decent cup of coffee is because he just doesnt like coffee
#like i doubt reggie wouldve let them have coffee growing up and i dont think wouldve found much in the apocalypse so??#i mean theres always the commission but tbh they give off shit coffee vibes#i just find it really funny if five hates all the coffee he drinks because he just doesnt like coffee and hasnt realized it yet#tua#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#five hargreeves#1k#fin speaks#2k
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meadow, summer, gentle breeze
#rkgk#tcm#orion lavont#garret tcm#I drew this back when I did that cig series but never posted it#because a true marcia rkgk never gets posted#but i just like this one so much#it just yells summer evening to me#lakeside or seaside. distant noise in the background. the air is pleasantly warm from the sun that was scorching it all day long.#the gentle breeze doesnt feel cold and simply tickles a little#the smell of grass and trees floats about#a canned drink in hand#Garret looks so so tired. Or maybe very high to the point he's barely there#forcing an empty lighter to produce one last flame that momentarily dies in the wind anyway
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Does Mr. Turner like rubbing his “son’s” successful career in Dinkleberg’s face??
He does! He brags about Timmy's success to every person within the neighborhood's vicinity. Mr. Turner loves how successful his son is! It really secures his reputation at the neighborhood HOA meetings they host at their house.
Timmy's worked very hard to gain more successes than failures. The more successful he is, the greater his family's social standing!! And the less he gets to overhear his dad ranting to the neighborhood about his failures.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#chimmy changa#asks#raven with a pocketwatch#itty bitties fop au#tw parental neglect#<- ask to tag#using the neighborhood gossip is a very good way to reign in your son when he gets too cocky or proud for your liking.#but its also a good way to boost your social standing!! wow!! the joys of reaping the rewards from someone else's hard work!#by contrast mrs. turner doesnt mention his successes to her friends#which timmy does appreciate somewhat but she also doesnt really. give him much of anything.#so.#cant really tell whats worse. the oversharing or the ignoring.#timmy's parents hosts a LOT of events at their house#so he's usually juggling like. hundreds of tasks at once.#he has to get the drinks the plates the food the clean up watch the kids get more drinks respond to his dad's calls handle 3 conversations#prevent his mom from offering him to clean her friends yards stop that kid from spilling ketchup over the grass catch the loose dog#get more drinks for his dad watch the grill avoid the aunt's mlm scheme pitches reject the neighbor's pitch for a potential girlfriend-#all while picking up work calls and scheduling office hours and fixing his coworkers' mistakes and emailing clients and and-#....which is all to say that timmy does most of the hosting. while his parents partake in the celebrating and partying.#man. you'd think doing this for 20 years you'd be able to handle stress
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TELEMACHUS AND ANTINOUS. FINALLY
#throwing a tiny bit of (NOT FULLY THOUGHT OUT AND VERY MUCH A WIP) info about them here for u guys#i was trying to figure out what the fuck antinous could do in this au#and then i was like oh wait monster hunter. obviously#so hes a monster hunter lol#<- this is actually sorta funny because the temporary odysseus lore i have is that he used to be a monster hunter at one point#and then he got bit on the job or something lol#aughhh this is very embarassing to admit but this whole au in my head is very heavily inspired by the danganronpa fic out for blood#so i will admit. i just stole hajimes backstory from that fic#btw you guys should read that fic. even if youre not into danganronpa it doesnt really rely on canon at ALL and its very good#anyways as a temporary thing i dont really think borrowing that matters#anyways monster hunter antinous just seems like the natural conclusion here idk idk#i dont really have a solid story in mind in general so im not worrying about how different aspects interact atm#anyways telemachus thoughts now#hes obviously still penelope and odys kid so. funny vampire/werewolf hybrid thing lets talk about that#so i imagine he takes after odysseus in MOST things. he is for all intents and purposes mostly just a werewolf#but ahh. ok i dont know werewolf lore so im gonna explain it#(its very much again just based on one really good danganronpa fic i read)#i think when turned its sort of like. a blackout blind rage. very little complex thought involved. just kill and maim etc#<- not getting too into it bc of tag limits. lmk if you want me to ramble about how werewolves in this au work though#anyways i think since telemachus isnt a full werewolf this doesnt fully apply to him#he may or may not have violent instincts but he could probably resist them and hes at least semi-aware when turned#anyways i think penelope dresses him. thats why hes so fancy. very much giving off heavy vampire energy despite barely being one#is he immortal* like a vampire? we dont know and were not gonna test it hopefully!#also he could probably drink blood he doesnt HAVE to though and he doesnt like the taste really. penelope does not get it </3#ok done rambling in the tags now time for art tags#doodles#epic the musical#epic monster au#antinous#telemachus
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❤LOVE-LETTER-FOR-MY-HERO.TXT.vbs❤
i imagine an "amy.exe" functions like the infamous ILOVEYOU virus. spreading so sweetly under such a delicate disguise of love... (bonus points for y2k)
details + alts under cut :)
these are the looping msgs in the background, based on the og virus :)
og sketch + an alt! i've got a bunch of alts for this haha
#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#sth#sonic.exe#sonamy#sonamy... kind of. um. depending on youur interpretation of uhhh. um. uh#no longer judging f/n/f fans this was so much fun to do. sometimes you need to draw people covered in blood with no eyes.#i used to draw this weird eyeless amy as a kid... thats what this started as#i finally did it. u little creepy girl. here she is.#:)#its a good thing sonic has such good tech knowledge and doesnt click spam. otherwise hed be in trouble hahahaha (sweats)#dfjdsjhjdsfhkjlds wait is tails the key to the .exes. 'he dies first' bro hes an engineer... he can take care of a computer worm from 2000#tails: -_- sonic quit downloading evil exe versions of yourself... its not good for you...#sonic: BUT THEYRE SO FUN!!!!!!!! 😁😁 -> he has bricked 8 computers like this#anywya#drawn 2 (two) things today!! insane!!!!! and i even like em both!!! wack! wack wack wack!!!#^_^ ok im gonna drink juice now#so tailspilled ahha-> i need to take myy medicine too.#ALSO AMY.EXE COSTING 6BILLION DOLLARS IN DAMAGES IF SHES LIKE ILOVEYOU... SHES A HUSTLER... ROUGE NEEDS TO CONTACT HER ASAP#my nyart
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yuuji and sukuna going for their daily walk
look they're tinyyy
#yuuji at sukuna “let's go touch some grass sukuna!!”#it's a routine at this point#sometimes yuuji just yaps and points at things the whole walk#sometimes they walk in silence#other times they argue about the dumbest things like that one time yuuji order them iced drinks and suddenly asked#“does a straw have one hole or two?” for some reason this turned into a whole debate#on rare occasions sukuna actually indulges yuuji in a deeper conversation#but whenever they stir towards sukuna's past he falls silence again...#itadori yuuji#ryomen sukuna#anyway#just came back from my own daily walk life doesnt suck as much anymore <3#shitpost
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Innocent changes the rules to allow priests to marry, but they can only marry other priests bc of issues regarding inheritance and nepotism and potential distractions that might come with family life (also heavily implied that they are expected to still be chaste so it's not really a marriage it's more... "lifetime partnership").
Queue bellesco chaos wedding. Aldo agrees after Tedesco proposes for the eleventh time (while Aldo was fucking him, mind you). Thomas almost dies on the spot when he hears about the engagement.
They're both bridezillas. Mandorff has to study ceremonial code for three weeks to figure out how it's supposed to be done while both Aldo and Tedesco ague about it (with him and with each other). The ceremony is heteronormative to such a degree that Tedesco (being lower in the church hierarchy) has to be referred to as the "bride".
The media is going nuts about it, the coverage is on the level of a british royal wedding. What do you mean the progressive secretary of state and the archconservative patriarch of Venice who were both trying to become pope six months ago are getting married?????
The ceremony is public (and live-streamed) and Vincent panics while pronouncing them "husband and wife in their service to the Lord" and blurts out that Aldo "may kiss the bride". That was not in the script AND it's their first kiss.
When they are sent off on their honeymoon Aldo realizes this entire thing was just a scheme to force him to take a vacation and to keep Tedesco distracted while Vincent pushes through his most radical reforms.
#bellesco#aldo bellini#goffredo tedesco#aldo's younger sister (last family he has) and goffredo's 150ish nieces and nephews are in attendence#the incomprehensible yet glorious memes that could be made out of any stillframe of the live-stream🥲#sabbadin (not realizing he's being filmed) rolling his eyes during their vows (that focus more on God and the church than each other)#thomas crying (out of happiness? out of dispare? who knows)#aldo and goffredo start making out and vincent is like 😶 right behind them#he looks over at thomas with panic in his eyes having no idea what he's supposed to do#they spend their honeymoon in an tiny old monestary in southern italy without access to the outside world#there are like three monks there who put them up on the floor they rent out as an airb&b to newlyweds and supply them with as much#wine as they can drink and let them just hang out in the garden and chapel and try to ask them to please not argue so loudly they're#upsetting the bees:((#and when they come back tedesco has been forced out of his position as patriarch bc his supporters were like He's a 'wife' now he cant#be Patriarch! so he has to move to the vatican to be Aldo's little housewife and he hates it but at some point my OC who I haven't given a#name yet jokes that he should read some cynthia enloe and learn that his position as the secretary's wife is actually hugely important#for the vatican's diplomatic missions and he does and realizes holding cocktail parties for foreign diplomats is His Thing and it makes him#feel powerful again!!!!#and he gets lowkey domesticated bc sure he and Aldo still argue but he doesnt mind getting to sit on Aldo's lap after a long night#of using his former stance as a conservatice to charm european n american politicians into giving more resources to refugees and victims#of climate change and western imperialism#Holy tags longer than the actual post batman!
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Hi fazfuri!! I wonder what else D!Bill consumes if there are no dying stars left even though there are probably trillions of them
He doesn't really need to eat much, maybe once every few centuries, but he does have a taste for other worldly goods, maybe an interdimensional equivalent of tea. Something strong or smth that makes his 2-dimensional sides tingle (alcohol). This is why he doesn't like human food cuz to him, human food is like plastic or dirt.
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Alfred starts secretly dosing the manor with antidepressants and they stop wanting to fight crime
#i think it'd be funny if he dosed them with antidepressants and suddenly batman is soo much more careful than before#even bruce waynes relationships start improving#bruce starts freaking out when his now chemically balanced brain realizes he's putting his kid in severe danger every night and bans robin#from patrol. until he himself stops#after a few weeks of being 'happy' by his standards he starts realizing that something is amiss and eventually finds out that all the drink#in the manor have anti-depressants. to bring things back to the status qou he starts dosing himself with scarecrows fear toxin and robin#goes back on patrol. alfred is annoyed his plan didnt work oh well was nice while it laste#batman#robin#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#damian wayne#my thoughts#sadly jason doesnt get dosed often enough for them to actually work. anti-depressant would work wonders for you bbg#jason todd#tim drake
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i hate ex friends more than anything because i want him gone but i want him back. i want to never see him again but i want to sit across from him as he shows me what he's been practicing on guitar. i want to tear him apart but i miss his hands and his smile and his stupid fucking eyes
#sad about the white boy again#i think i was in love with him#i dont know if it was platonic or something else#it doesnt matter now#it never did#he was my whole world but i could have never meant that much to him#augh hes such a fucking bitch#i know that and my friends know that and his ex knows that#but holy fucking shit i miss him so much#i just want to be drinking coffee on his basement floor again#but at the same time i want him entirely out of my life#rant post#barking into the void
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I want comfortable summer college jock Neil wearing a tank top, scars on full display, enjoying the sun and being stupid with his best friend Matt with no cares of the (surprisingly few) stares. He's a junior, he's old news on campus, nobody gives a shit about his drama anymore, he's captain of the exy team and he's having a waterballoon fight with Matt on the quad nearest Fox Tower and having the type of fun that passersby badly want to join in on but don't have the confidence to
#aftg#neil josten#matt boyd#it takes a long time and he doesnt feel this way all the time#but sometimes the stars align and hes in a good mood and the sun is blaring and matt looks mischievous#so he puts on his shorts and the only tank top he owns#thats tighter at the armholes than most people usually wear but his shoulders and collar bones are as much on display as his forearms#when matt sees him in it he gets the balloons ready SO FAST#andrew watches from a towel under a tree just out of splashing range#sunglasses slipping halfway down his nose that he doesnt bother fixing and soda straw in his mouth that hes forgotten to drink out of
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Ok lets let the masses decide
#i am of the belief that canon plat!perry doesnt smoke but drinks#because he does occasionally do wine I think? summer around the world special#but my human perry smokes but not drinks#he doesnt do it much anymore after Ferb though#pnfc convinced me that star wars perry smokes weed though which is funny enough#that I have folded it into my belief system#perry the platypus#phineas and ferb
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THE VAMPIRE HUNTS TONIGHT
#shaperaverse#OKI I LOVE YOU FOREVER SO MUCH#hes so funny#he doesnt drink blood to live its just a treat. bro#stringless oki#the puppetshade chronicles#the lost kingdom#paul shapera#art tag#shaperaverse fanart#sorry for okiposting it will hPpen again
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parallel: Alucard and Seras - Nathaniel Hawthorne's “Rappaccini's Daughter” (1844)
#hellsing#TW: SA#hellsing ultimate#seras victoria#alucard hellsing#I MISS DOING WEB WEAVING it had been ages seen i last done one#alucard and seras is sooo#mother daughterism#overally rappaccini and beatrice relationship doesnt entirely fit alucard and seras relationship#but within this excerpt only really reminded me of the relationship between alucard and seras#of how she pushed against drinking blood at first and limit herself on blood while he over-indulged himself in it#web weaving#okay i changed it up a bit#i have seen an interview or something mentioning#that seras and alucard was like mirror#or something#i agree to that a lot#i feel like#they came from traumas that could relate to one another#alucard sees his past self in seras#and seras sees her potential future self in alucard#from my perception#somewhat their relationship is very much like of a mother and a daughter
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Learn from who? Learn from you? You are still a brat. What do you know? You're only three years older. Like you are any better than me. You're 21, and still a virgin. What are you proud of? I think you can't do it.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 06
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#*gestures at the caption* this is honestly the funniest argument they could possibly have idfk what to tell you. it's very ai di#meanwhile whatever's going through chen yi's head rn has recently been doused with 'the boss doesnt care abt me like that'#after watching cdy and zml at dinner. like chen yi already knows *before* ep9 & ai dis confession that cdy will never look at him#(the diff. between this scene & ep9's. is him failing in regards to the gang as well in cdy's eyes. he goes from feelings of disappointment#& irritability to complete despair and both times he drinks to cope. bc hes not enough in cdy's eyes in ANY of the ways he wants/hoped)#so honestly the crisis chen yi goes thru right here isnt unfounded at all hes literally dealing w an inadvertent rejection of his feelings#its chaos in his head and ai di is picking at him again and the wine is tilting in his blood and then- 'learn from who? learn from you?'#like what do YOU know about love ai di (WHILE CHEN YI'S PULLING HIM LIKE THAT-) so OF COURSE ai di goes for the deepest dig he can.#'i bet you cant get hard that explains how much of a coward you are'. its ridiculous the ways in which they push each other over the edge#but im ngl im kind of obsessed the way chen yi's tipsy line of thinking 'learn from you?' turned into the action 'fuck it learn from ME'#ANYWAY EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO 'LOSE CONTROL' BY TEDDY SWIMS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. THe most chen yi song pre-ep9
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maxwell and jacobi seltzer water haters vs. kepler canon seltzer water consumer.
#the fact that its canon that if kepler doesnt see his favorite drink on the menu he'll just order seltzer water is really funny to me#if its not balvenie scotch then its sparkly water#i headcanon that jacobi and maxwell both HATE seltzer water and judge kepler so much every time he drinks it#keplerposting#this is discussed in the podcast pairing cast reunion episode btw#daniel jacobi#alana maxwell#warren kepler#wolf 359#kepler yaps
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