#he is literally Remus lupin

[jackie4dinner]

Fuck your Andrew Garfield fancast, this is Remus lupin (literally):

[lupinmoonlights]

Everyone watching Seven Years in Tibet because of Brad Pitt but I watched it because of David. Fun fact: this movie also had David banned from China.

[aeteut]

The love drunk in Remus’s eyes gazing at the prettiest star; he breathes Sirius.

By likeafunerall, and reposted with permission.

[linnea-bowiesversion]

Marauders and Reg group chat

Remus: who the fuck added me to the group chat?

Sirius: >:O language.

Regulus: yeah watch your fucking language.

Sirius: OKAY WHO TAUGHT REGGIE TO SAY THE FUCK WORD?!

Peter: ‘the fuck word’

James: You guys use the f word all the time??

Regulus: Merlin’s beard you don’t have to censor it.

Peter: say fuck James.

Regulus: Do it, James. Say fuck.

[accio-sriracha]

"Not to sound like a slut or anything but can I please peel your orange for you?"

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin at some point, probably.

[alltoounwellll]

guys plz stop with the “I hate feminine sirius” I’m tired

[gabihime-jegulusseeker]

wolfstar + regulus

Sirius: Remus and I are adopting a kid!~

Regulus: that's great-

Sirius & Remus*slamming adoption papers on the table* It's you, sign here

(I've seen this trope so much lately and i love it, Sirius and Remus being regulus """parents""" its so funny to me)

[sexymoonmansslut]

remus ‘50 shades of brown’ john lupin

half blinded rem bc of a bad moon : unlocked ✅

[acewitch-writes]

Some people in this fandom:

"I love canon Remus, he is such a pathetic loser!" (Insert some obligatory reference to damp socks or wet noodles or crumpled paper towel)

Those very same people:

*exclusively posts/writes/interacts with Fanon Remus who is tall and broad and muscly and cool, often right alongside funsized dainty white twink Sirius who is at least a full foot shorter*

Me:

🤨🤔

....are you sure

[billi-mausi]

James (Squishing Regulus’s cheeks): You are so adorable.

Barty: He is literally a black cat that will scratch your eye out if you touch it.

James: Good thing I am a cat person.

Regulus (Blushes while mumbling): Shut up.

Sirius:

Sirius: POTTER YOU TRAITOR. YOU LIL BI-

[raaiinu]

James: *gets a package from his mum*

The package: *A cake that says “you’re not a virgin anymore!!” with a complimentary box of condoms*

James:

James: okaY WHO FUCKING SNITCHED!

[bimoonphases]

@wolfstarmicrofic March 21 – prompt 21: Skele-gro – word count 729

Skele-gro - Regrows missing bones

“How long do I have? Please, I need to tell my friends goodbye!”

“Oh, stop fussing, Mr Potter, you won’t be dying today, I assure you!”

 Remus chuckled as Madame Pomfrey’s exasperated voice rose form behind the curtain. He knew Poppy, and the more she talked, the better the news. It was when she silently went to work on whatever wounds she had to deal with that you needed to worry, and he knew that better than anyone else. To be honest, he had worried when James had plummeted from his broom to the ground during the Gryffindor versus Slytherin Quidditch match earlier. Marlene had aimed a bludger at the Slytherin seeker, but Regulus Black had dodged it at the last second while James, who had been right behind him, had been hit at full force. They had immediately taken him to the Hospital Wing, him and Peter levitating him as carefully as they could while Sirius held his left hand as James moaned he didn’t feel his right arm anymore and Marlene followed, apologising every few steps.

The curtain was abruptly moved back, revealing the bed where James laid in his pyjamas, his right arm bandaged and secured around his neck.

“Now stay down, Mr Potter,” Madame Pomfrey said. “You can stay with your friends for a while, before they have to leave but don’t you dare get up, alright?”

The others immediately gathered around the bed, while Remus moved to the nurse’s side.

“How is he?” he asked.

“Rarely seen such a bad fracture,” she shook her head. “I had to vanish the bone and give him Skele-gro to have it regrow from scratch, so he’ll have to stay overnight. But he should be fine tomorrow morning, even if he looks about to make his will right now.”

Remus looked back at the bed, where James was slowly patting Marlene on the head as she apologised once again.

“I forgive you, McKinnon, I know you didn’t mean it,” he said slowly. “You can have my position as Captain when I’m gone. If you want to amend, you can name the first son you and Dorcas will have after me.”

“You’ll be alright, Prongs, we’ve seen worse,” Peter shook his head, a small smile on his face.

“Et tu, Peter?” James moaned. “I lay dying and you betray me like this, trying to make me believe I’ll be back again on my broom, my only reason to live?”

“I thought I was your only reason to live!” Sirius exclaimed from where he was kneeling by the bed, James’s left hand clutched in his.

“Padfoot, my brother,” James sighed, turning to look at Sirius. “Take care of my parents for me, will you? You’ll be the only one they’ll have left.”

“I promise, Prongs, on my life,” Sirius said solemnly.

“Are you sure you’re his boyfriend and not Mr Potter?” Madame Pomfrey asked in a puzzled tone.

Remus just chuckled and joined the others at James’s bedside. As he settled by his side, he felt Sirius lean into him, his tense body relax slightly as the tension of the accident waned.

“You’d better sleep now, Prongs,” he smiled. “Skele-gro isn’t fun, you’d better have some rest while you can.”

“And spend the night here all on my own? On my deathbed?”

“It’s not your deathbed, Prongs” Peter rolled his eyes. “Cheer up, we still managed to beat Slytherin despite your accident!”

“Speaking of,” Remus looked at James. “How did that happen? Baby Black managed to dodge Marlene’s bludger, and you’re normally fast as well yet you got hit.”

James muttered something as his cheeks got red. Remus felt Sirius tense again by his side and he passed an arm around his boyfriend, letting his fingers massage his shoulder while Sirius leaned even more into him.

“What was that?” Peter smirked.

James muttered again, not looking up from his bedsheets, but Marlene shook her head.

“He got distracted looking at baby Black,” she snorted. “It’s been like this the whole match.”

James got even redder and managed to look up from the bed to Sirius, who hid his face in Remus’s shoulder.

“I told you he was walking into walls way more often than usual, baby” Remus chuckled.

“This is not fair, Moony,” Sirius whined. “Is no one straight here anymore?”

“No, thank goodness,” Remus answered, kissing his boyfriend’s hair.

[oxydiane]

headcanon that after the war, as harry is fixing up grimmauld place, he finds a box labelled “FOR HARRY’S SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY” and a small note to go along with it in remus’ handwriting “i don’t think it’s the right time, might have to give it to him when this is over. 31/07/1997” and harry feels like it was an eternity ago. when he opens the box he finds it filled to the brim with little flasks and when he realises the contents of them his heart stops for just a second. the first one he takes from the lot is labelled “meeting james, hogwarts express [sirius]” and harry feels like he might actually lose his mind. it takes him a while to sort through and visit all of them, but from that moment on, each time he needs a break from reality, and each halloween, he gets to sit next to james and watch as they develop the marauder’s map, and he gets to stand there and watch as seventeen years old lily pranks james by giving him a potion that turns all his hair neon pink (“this is SO not funny this is a CATASTROPHE why my hair lily??? PADFOOT STOP LAUGHING”) and he gets to sit in front of the fireplace and watch his parents play with him on his first christmas, as sirius drinks way too much eggnog (“it’s not even got alcohol in it?” “yeah sirius got it specifically done because he wanted harry to try it”) and remus hastily tries to put together one of harry’s toy presents.

[soup-of-the-daisies]

[opens fic] “moony has always been the smartest out of all of us” [closes fic]

[siriusblack-the-third]

Things James Potter Has Said

Moony either you remove your damn shoes before you enter the dorm or I Vanish them. How the fuck are they covered so much dirt, you don't even go near the Quidditch pitch!

Sirius, you will sit down and let me put your hair up in a bun or so help me Gods i will shave it all off. (*smirk* you wouldn't. You love my hair more than I do.)

I swear if Gerard (gryffindor seeker) doesn't get his shit together before the Ravenclaw match I'm going to make him cry with the amount of training I pile on his head.

No, Evans! Irving's Law clearly states that *winds off into the accurate statement of said ridiculously complicated law* and you cannot use 7x² divide the integral of y, that doesn't work here! (He's arguing NEWT Arithmancy with her)

Sirius I'm boorreedddddddd! ... *doe eyes* can we kiss? (Fuck yeah, get over here)

*stares at Sirius* that is a terrible idea... Let's do it.

REMUS! GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!

Peter, you have Charms homework. Play with Lady Charlotte (the dorm cat) after you finish that.

Sirius. No.

Remus. No.

Peter. No.

I am the only one that gives a shit about how clean the dorm is. Nobody else ever helps me. Ingrates, all of you!

Marlene I swear to fuck- just ask them out, shit's sake! (She's pining after Dorcas)

Do you think I can surf down the enchanted staircases without falling off the surfboard? (*Panicked Sirius noises*)

*scoffs* whatever the shit this is, it sure as fuck isn't tea. Fucking British people, don't even know how to make proper chai.

Gods dammit Sirius—

Remus if you don't eat everything on your plate I swear on my family's honour I will hold you down and force feed you like my mother used to do to me.

WHERE IS MY BOX SET OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS?! (Sirius hid it because James wasn't giving him attention. The trick backfired: James completely ignored him. Not for long tho; he wants kisses from Sirius.)

(Peter calls him a jock) James: *gasps in outrage* you take that back! Take that back right the fuck now, I am an out and proud nerd, how dare you—

*purrs like a cat and melts into a puddle of goo when Sirius rubs his hair and neck*

(marauders call him for a prank) nope. Not today, I'm studying. I have got to beat Lily in the Charms test tomorrow, or else I won't be able to show my face for the rest of the week out of sheer embarrassment.

Fuck's sake, Sirius! I look like I've been mauled! How am I supposed to hide the hickeys?!

Taglist:

@narcissa-black-supermacy @the-chaosbringer @in-flvx @padfootastic @gracelesslady23 @mycupofrum @fiendishfyre @prongsfoot-wolfstar @siriuslystarbucks @strwbi-laces @roalinda @manavi-meera

[accio-sriracha]

Marauders and Co. playing Never Have I Ever

~~~♤~~~

Remus: *bluntly* Never have I ever been a dog.

Everyone else: ?

Sirius: *drinks*

Everyone else: ?????

Marauders: *refuses to elaborate*

~~~♤~~~