#he is such a detached person. I think he's capable of caring but it works differently for him

[adelrambles]

Ok SO. Let's talk Fast Forward!Bishop, because I have a lot of thoughts and conflicting feelings on the matter. Initially, I found FF!Bishop (or President Bishop, that might be easier,) a frustrating turn for his character-- and while indeed I do feel the execution in the actual show is lacking, upon review I think there are a lot of ideas at work here that are extremely compelling.

First and foremost, the concept of Bishop being a "good guy" at all inevitably hands us some very interesting ideas to chew on. After all, part of what makes Bishop originally so compelling is the fact that his motivations should align morally-good, but he is a monster in pursuit of them, despite this. So, then, President Bishop presents us with the idea that these motivations may eventually turn him morally-good. And how that might happen is super interesting to consider, too!

Looking at the development broadly-- and this is a trait that is apparent even before FF, in my opinion, but this change only cements it-- he prioritizes his goal of protecting earth above EVERYTHING. Even himself. He will do anything to achieve it. So, it follows, if the job requires him to change who he is as a person, he will do so. Especially if the job turns into becoming a public figure, a politician. What really sells it for me is that present-time Bishop is a lot more emotional than he may seem. He has fun with his fights, he gets angry at his failures, he blusters and threatens and he is fueled by a centuries-old fear. But President Bishop barely emotes; he is measured and polite and he is often wearing a blank expression. This suggests that he is far more in control of himself, which would be a necessity if he's trying to project a personality that is a fabrication.

(On that note, it's also an interesting thought as to what he might think of 2105's pacifism. From what we see in the wrestling episode, even staged fights have to be extremely toned down for modern sensibilities. Such excessive pacifism on earth, one might consider, was essentially Bishop's goal, but does it ever bother him? We know Bishop loves combat, he loves violence, he loves winning and inflicting pain. He's also like, a veteran, comes from times where violence was considered a necessity and then watched it become increasingly taboo. What must he feel, knowing the world he built would turn on him if he ever indulged in any violent whims?)

The broad idea is that Bishop will chameleon himself into whatever he needs to be in order to keep earth safe. This becomes further likely when you consider just how old this guy is! By the time FF rolls around he is over 330 years old, grew up in the late 1700s. In order to be so involved with the world, he'd have to be constantly adapting to changing times. Given how he seems to be doing just fine with that in both present and future, there's already a precedence for him to be able to adapt himself to fit his surroundings.

Another point I find extremely interesting here is that President Bishop lets us try and figure out what about present-day Bishop is actually genuinely him, by virtue of comparing and contrasting. Like discussed above, President Bishop is very measured and inexpressive. So, then, we can probably assume his sadistic nature and anger at failure are very much real.

The flip side to that is that we can apply some of Agent Bishop's methodolgy to President Bishop's government. We've seen how he runs things when he's not concerned with concealing the darker parts nor keeping up the image of a benevolent ruler. This is purely headcanon, but I don't believe all of that would just go away with a change of heart. If Bishop's goal requires he be president of Earth, he will undoubtedly have plans to ensure it stays that way no matter what. He may have been elected genuinely, but if ever he isn't, he will make sure it looks like he was.

No matter what, Bishop's character is that of a bad person working towards a good goal. President Bishop is still that, but in a different flavor. He's softened up around the edges, but he's also more fake than he's ever been. He will do anything to keep earth safe, and that hasn't changed.

Anyway, I think for all the SUPER interesting ideas at play, Fast Forward does not really capitalize on them. For example, Bishop should by all means be an unbeatable opponent in combat, but he is not really shown that way. I also think the absolute drama of Bishop trusting the turtles but them being afraid of him is sooooo interesting, and the fact that this conflict was brushed over so easily is MASSIVE missed potential.

I will probably have more thoughts to add onto this post later, but it's been in my drafts for a few weeks now so here take it have fun. I've been thinking about Fast Forward a lot lately so I will definitely have more to say

[luvvixu]

mind over matter pt. 1

synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.

tags: arrange marriage au, angst, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, miscarriage, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: y'all, im back after ghosting this page for way too lonh cuz im on my process of taking psychology. yep! this random bitch is up for being a psychologist despite her mental health place amidst the fluctuating status. and you know what's crazy? my sanity is slowly decomposing! all thanks to that one mf and one chapter in which im not going to name about (gege and jjk chapter 261)

previous / masterlist / next

it all started when he started caring for you.

after being inside an arranged marriage for like five years, satoru was confident with himself that he doesn't need a wife to console his woes as he is perfectly capable all by himself.

to say the least, the start of your marriage was a definition of an absolute disaster. clearly, you and satoru were like a magnet in the same pole, it can never collide despite how many efforts you push on both magnets.

from fights, misunderstanding, up to almost divorce after you caught him kissing another girl when you decided to give him a visit during his mission.

you were hurt, yes. but you would always tell yourself that neither of you want this marriage, so being hurt when there's no even love is called invalid. yet, you can't still help it but to feel somewhat jealous because he was supposed to be your husband—but oh well.

your family begged you to stay as it was for the peace of mind and safety of your clan. you snorted sarcastically as you wondered if they ever cared for your personal peace of mind and safety also.

nevertheless, you still stay inside this loveless marriage and maintain the gojo surname. you forgive him even though he's not explaining himself nor asking for your forgiveness.

as for satoru, he's aware that he's being a dick to you. his reason is that this marriage was his least priority as it was a hindrance for him. so basically and truth may hurt, he thinks you're only a hindrance and a distraction from the higher ups.

there were times where he would bury himself with work so he doesn't have to go to his original home and breathe the same air as you.

there were also times where he spent almost two months without seeing you or even communicating with you. it was like you didn't exist in his life nor he doesn't have a wife!

although, he is not that cruel to the point that he would slam the fact in your face. no, he's just leaving his presence until you feel it yourself that he doesn't want you.

his shenanigans would continue for almost a year until that night occurred.

that night when it was your wedding anniversary and he came home very late after fighting some annoying curse. he took a swearing underneath his breath when the stinky smell of curse blood hit his nose.

scrunching up as he was about to proceed to his own room (despite being married, you two sleep in a separate room) to clean up when he saw you up by the garden. you are currently watching how your little seedlings grow into beautiful flowers swaying along the air with a calm look on your face.

your husband broke the silence by asking you what are you doing this late. in which you replied that you couldn't sleep as you slowly looked at him.

satoru watched your face, it did not even flinch with any kind of emotion—nothing, just nothing. you're basically acting like a robot to him, and he hates it.

"i'll prepare a warm bath for you." you mumbled, standing on your feet and was about to leave when he grabbed your arm.

"i heard what happened earlier." satoru said slowly, as if he's being careful on his words which was very out of character for him.

"really? great." detaching from his hold, you left him no chance and instantly left.

"y/n." the man followed you until both of you reached the bathroom. you paid him no attention and just did the usual things you do, prepare him a bath.

"talk to me, please." his tone becomes soft, pleading. turning the water on, you refused to turn around, you refused to make physical contact with him, you refused to let him see the tears brimming in your eyes.

"go on. say what you want to say. i'm listening." you mentally curse yourself for almost stuttering. satoru looked at you, eyes finally unveiling an emotion. he aches to hold you for some reason but to think that he doesn't want to upset you even further, he stops. all he can do is watch you serve him.

"do you want to keep it?" he asked quietly, his ocean blue eyes dropping on your stomach. getting uncomfortable, you tried to hide it.

splash, splash, splash, you did not answer him.

"i said, do you want to keep it?" satoru asked once again. this time, his voice was a bit louder than before.

"i don't know. do you want to?" you asked him back the question, quietly.

your husband went quiet. having a child is not part of your plan but you have to because that's your purpose of marrying him, to bear an heir. now, satoru was asking you nicely if you want to keep it when in the first place, it should happen this way.

"how many months?"

"two."

"and you didn't tell me?"

"do you want to know?"

"of course i want to know. that's literally my child in there." he pointed to your belly with a slight frustration on his face.

you did not say anything back, just continuing your duties as his wife—wife on papers. satoru was growing upset, tired, even angry at you. where was the talkative and fierce look that you have? where's the harshness in your voice? why do you look so vulnerable now?

"you can take a bath now. i'll be downstairs to prepare you dinner."

"y/n, wait—"

*slam*

before satoru could even stop you, you already left, leaving him in all silence. the husband heaves a deep sigh within him as he recollects the events prior to this day. he remembers how he acted when he discovered to ijichi that you went to the hospital and went back home with a pregnancy result in your pocket.

satoru remembers almost getting killed by the special curse when the news caught him totally off guard. you two only have intercourse when both are drunk after coming home from shoko's birthday and that's it. you also told him that you were on pills so he's relieved. but how?

what if—

no, no, no. you wouldn't. you wouldn't do that to him. you are his little loyal wife and even though both of you aren't on good terms, he trusted your loyalty…or was he? were you?

everything was so messed up that he couldn't think of anything even after taking a shower and now he's on his way downstairs to eat dinner. once he was in the kitchen, he saw you almost absentmindedly cutting the vegetables.

satoru took a seat, quietly. he was watching you as your back was facing him. his six eyes weren't dumb to notice how much weight you are slowly losing. unconsciously, satoru was clutching his fists tightly.

"i bought you your favorite milk tea. it's in the fridge, you can drink it later." your voice seemingly dropped him from his daze. satoru looked at you once more, only to find out that you're still not facing him back.

"o…okay, thanks."

minutes later, you place a plate of curry in front of him. satoru noticed that there's only one plate on the table, which was his.

"where's your meal?"

"i already ate." oh right, it was literally midnight now. you should be asleep by now, yet here you are, serving your husband. also, why does it seem like satoru was hoping to eat dinner with you? it is unusual, to be honest.

for your five years of marriage, you two would only eat together for formal matters. but with a simple domestic setting like this, there's no way a peace would occur if the two of you shared a table and a meal.

while he is eating, satoru watches you grab the said milk tea from the fridge and place it in front of him. "just leave the dishes on the sink. i'll wash them later." and with that, you left the dining room.

the food was great, it was very delicious. satoru can't deny that you're great at cooking, and you really have a specialty when it comes to curry like this. but why does this meal taste bitter? perhaps, was it because of the taste of his conscience? he doesn't know.

the six eyes ate in silence. he was planning to talk to you later about everything. but anyway, satoru has been eyeing the milk tea you bought for him. now this wasn't unusual. everytime you would go out, you would always buy him some of his favorites, mostly food.

like there's a time where you bought him his favorite mochi, crepe cakes, churros, ice creams—basically every dessert or food stalls you happened to pass by. it warms his heart, though. there's also a time where he anticipated what kind of sweet delicacy you would give him next.

anyway, satoru finished eating his meal. he was drinking the milk tea you gave to him while searching for you. he saw you sitting on the same spot when he first saw you this evening, by the patio of your garden. silently, satoru took a seat beside you with a mindful distance between you two.

"can we talk?" he started. in which you reply with a soft hum. satoru finds himself gulping, he sets aside his drink first before mimicking your posture—wrapping his arms on his folded legs.

"so um, since there's a baby now…i'd like to discuss this matter with you, properly. i was thinking about…moving you in one of the jujustu high's dorms." satoru nibbles the straw of the sugary drink, absentmindedly.

"it's for safety measures, since i'm not always at home and the risk will be doubled by now. but if you're inside the campus, a lot of sorcerers would be able to protect you." he added.

"okay." you did not even question him or even argue with him, you just simply agree without a second thought.

the man could feel himself gulping, the bitterness increasing despite the sweet liquid he was drinking. he's starting to get uncomfortable the way you are currently acting.

also, come to think of it, you agreed to temporarily live in jujustu high—does that mean you are keeping the baby? satoru couldn't help but to finally ask you.

"d…does that mean—"

"the baby has nothing to do with us. i'm not that cruel to take its life." before satoru could beat you, you already beat him.

"when will i be moving out?"

satoru gulped the growing rare anxiousness down to his throat. "probably next week. give me some time to deliver this news to the higher ups." you just mumbled an okay as your response.

"y/n, are you really sure about this?" the man couldn't really pinpoint your decision. although you made it explicit, he still couldn't comprehend you.

"i'm okay with anything. it's just you who didn't. also, if you are planning to ask me about keeping the child once again, go ask yourself instead. your decision is my decision." you replied.

satoru made a mental note that your voice sounds more tired than before. it kinda ignited something that he was not used to feeling before as literally a man-god himself who's full of pride.

"i'll be resting now. have a good night." he did not stop you, in fact, he thinks it's for the better. satoru could only follow you by his gaze as you enter your own room.

yes, your own room. the two of you did not share the same room. you two couldn't even bear to eat together, what more on sleeping together. this is not what satoru meant when he asked you to talk. but oh well, guess he should also call this a night. with that, satoru retreated to his own room and slept.

fast forward, you moved to jujutsu high and started teaching as a history teacher in a world full of related curses(suggested by satoru) since you're an alumni at this school like your husband. you like that idea too since it's a great way to distract yourself from everything.

currently, you are watching your third year students train themselves along with the second years and the first years. it was quite a good sight since all of them have a nice and strong potential as a sorcerer.

suddenly, one of your husband's students came to you with a big smile on his face. that must be yuuji, the vessel for the infamous king of curses. you always adored him, he's a good kid. but you couldn't help but to be saddened by the fact that he was literally carrying a big burden over his life.

"y/n sensei, good afternoon!" he waved at you before taking a seat nearby you. behind him, you saw his two other friends—your husband's students too.

"oi, you're being too loud." megumi scolded his friend. he was worried that yuuji's loudness was too much for your situation, your pregnancy.

"it's fine, megumi." you just chuckled. "i have some extra chocolate bars here, you three can have it." the trio thanked you happily, while you just smiled in return.

"by the way, we have a question for you, y/n sensei." yuuji said, munching on the chocolate. you asked him to shoot the question but he suddenly hesitated, looking at his two friends for support.

when he received the support he needed, he took a deep breath. "y/n sensei, we were wondering about your husband a-and…" yuuji trailed off. you already know what he meant, so you didn't wait for him any further.

"oh, i suppose you are curious because you haven't seen my husband even though i technically lived here?" the smile still lingers on your face as you watch them nod their heads.

there's something that you forgot to mention to them, they don't know that their teacher is your husband and the father of your child. you were prepared for a situation like this, though.

megumi on the other hand, could've known this beforehand since satoru took care of him during his childhood. then your marriage came through and your husband was already taking care of megumi, but it was kept a secret to everyone—including him.

stroking your six months belly, a recent hobby of yours when you want to seek some comfort. "he was a busy man. most of his job requires being out of town. but he never fails to shower me with love by making sure that we still communicate despite his busy schedule."

"lately, we've barely talked. yet, he promised me that he will finish all of his jobs and tasks before going home to me. probably that's when our child is about to be born." you sigh just to justify this facade.

the students seem to believe your story. although you're quite worried that they might tell this to gojo and your cover will be blown. you planned to talk about this to him, anyway.

"that must've been hard, y/n sensei." nobara mumbles out of sympathy. she was worried for you and your child due to the absence of your husband.

if only they knew that your experience was much harder.

"you could always come to us, y/n sensei. we will not hesitate to help you and your child." beaming brightly as the other two agreed, you really adore yuuji. the amount of softness he gave to you is something that your future child would like to possess.

"thank you, you three. now, you all better go back to training. i will be heading to shoko since i promised to visit her." watching as the three wave their good-byes to you, you couldn't help but to feel an urge to protect them at all cost. probably due to your maternal instinct but whatever, you just hoped they would stay safe.

another fast forward, you are on your way towards shoko's office to spend your free time. knocking softly on her wooden door, shoko opens the door with a smile on her face.

"how's my little mama doing?" she engulfed you with a hug, which you returned warmly.

"good. the morning sickness did not attack me today, thank goodness." you said as you took a seat on her sofa.

shoko also commented that she was happy too. as mentioned before, stroking your six month old baby bump is a must on a daily basis. you are now used with a thought and feeling of a growing child inside you.

"and how're you and dickhead gojo?" shoko changes the topic.

"we were just fine like i have said before."

your friend heave the deepest sigh you've ever known. "just fine? y/n, do you want me to say the like i have said before too?"

"sho, ever since we knew that we're having a baby, we really tried our best to be compatible with each other. but we just couldn't." it's true, on the exact tomorrow of that eventful night wherein gojo discovers your pregnancy, he tried to make it up to you by lessening the sparkling arguments, making sure you are well feeded, and even showering you with things your eyes would have landed on.

you are delighted, of course. even though he absolutely fails his duty as your husband, at least he's trying his best to be a good father for your child. you appreciate him for that and also start to open your heart and pour a little more trust to him.

however, you are not dumb to notice the faint smell of a female's perfume and lipstick stain on his neck whenever he's with you. your heart slowly closes once again and your little more trust shatters.

once you saw yourself crying silently—feeling betrayed and angry for yourself on trusting him shortly after that. guess old habits never die, you are crying about something you've already expected. self-blaming is an understatement for letting your guard absolutely down.

gojo's still a jerk even though you had his baby. i should've expected this. having a baby doesn't mean he's going to change for me.

"we both tried, sho—we both tried. but we just couldn't." your voice dropped its tone once more. you still felt bitter even if it happened way back like two months ago.

"or he just couldn't." she snorted sarcastically.

you both knew she's right, gojo just couldn't. for years of being married, you unfortunately learned how to love a man like him who doesn't even give a one shit about you. tragic. very fucking tragic. if only you could see yourself directly, you would laugh at her nonstop.

"maybe this marriage is meant to be loveless—"

*slam!*

"yo shoko, i need—oh…" the door suddenly bursts open as it reveals your hot issue for today and probably for the rest, your husband gojo. you could tell that he was also surprised (but he shouldn't be) to see you here in shoko's infirmary.

"learn to fucking knock, gojo." shoko hissed at the white haired male.

"oh sorry. am i interrupting something?" he asked, looking at everything but you. he refused to spare you even a small glance, which you kinda do the same.

"you're not. now what do you need?" shoko was the one who answered him.

before gojo could even open his mouth , you already excused yourself. "i'll be taking my leave now. thanks for the check up, shoko." and then you left, leaving shoko and gojo with an awkward silence.

"aren't you going to talk about your business or maybe you want me to kick you out?" shoko sarcastically made a comment.

"right…" satoru cleared up his throat. for some reason, he doesn't know why he's suddenly getting iffy.

"ho…how's the child doing?"

"you have to be fucking kidding me." shoko groaned loudly. somehow, she expected this, but she couldn't believe that she would actually encounter this.

"y/n was just right there moments ago and you didn't even bother to ask her that yourself?!" the doctor could feel herself getting really annoyed. the truth may hurt but she's getting annoyed by the two of you.

fight here, ignore there—ignore there, fight here.

"bet she told you that we're not on good terms even though we really tried to work it out. yet, you're seemingly acting clueless." satoru snorted sarcastically. he's not dumb that you're telling stories to your friend, shoko.

the doctor rolled her eyes. she was this close from smashing his old friend's face to the wall to wake him up and stop being an idiot. "every fucking time, gojo. but that should not be an excuse to not talk to her. you two are still married for god's sake, and now, there's even a child along the way. i can see how much effort y/n has put in your marriage, you must do the same."

"don't you dare to compare her efforts to mine, you know nothing." he growls.

"but i sure know how shitty you are."

something inside satoru snaps. "why are you being angry at me?! you've been like this since we got married. always defending y/n, but what about me?! i have been your friend since highschool and you just met that girl! wouldn't it be unfair to side with someone whom you just met?!"

"you're asking me that when you have six eyes and yet, you can't see how much she suffers from you?!”

“but what about me? am i not suffering too?!”

how did we get here? things are getting pretty out of hand. two friends getting fired up because of a marriage that was about to fall apart. one being inside the marriage while the other one has the eye inside the marriage.

both shoko and gojo have their own sides but it all leads back to one thing, you are involved.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage. everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“just want, what? end your marriage by divorcing her?”

the moment the last syllables escaped her lips, she already knew the answer.

“fucking gojo.” shoko mumbles under her breath. “if you want to fix your life, you better not act dumb.”

satoru was still caught silent. his wide eyes trailed on the floor and unable to move. shoko saw how she hit the point. sighing over herself, she motioned the door. “get out, gojo. if you're gonna rethink your life choices, do it in your home with your wife.”

and with that, without a word, satoru left her clinic feeling heavy and defeated.

along the hallway, he saw you. satoru saw you looking at him with horror in your eyes—for the first time in one month, you finally looked him in the eyes, but it's filled with fear and tears.

“y/n, i—” just like what he had done before he left shoko's clinic, you left without saying a word.

satoru felt everything become hazy, his knees were trembling, his six eyes were stinging, his lips were turning white on how hard he bites them. the man shuddered in disappointment, you must have heard everything.

his feet act on their own and chases you, holding you by the wrist. but it was torn away immediately after you forcefully snatched it back. while doing so, satoru didn't fail to notice the hot tears streaming on your pale face, in which you immediately wiped it out.

“y/n, i-it’s not what you think. i…” as much as satoru would like you to hear himself, he hasn't gotten the words. he was left stuck by his own thoughts and self-doubt that he puts himself into shame.

meanwhile, you thought you could've just walked away from the scene. but from the moment you hear shoko and satoru exchange heated words, it gets you glued to the floor and unable to move. despite her clinic being semi-soundproof, you hear everything. even if you're not there in the room physically, you seemingly know everything.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“y/n,” satoru called your name. his tone was very far from you used to. you grow accustomed to him saying your name venomously, but now it seems like he's saying your name delicately and vulnerable…and satoru hates being vulnerable.

“i know what you're thinking. i accidentally eavesdropped but i didn't t hear everything.” you internally praise yourself for being a great actress. you thank yourself for not stuttering and not sounding so dejected.

but you lied. you're a terrible liar. you heard everything. you heard every single thing that escaped his lips during his argument inside your friend's office. and you feel like dying, his words hurt you so much more than any deadly curses.

“have you eaten already? do you want me to prepare you for a bath?” satoru couldn't understand why the heck you still care for your wife duties when your husband, him, just broke your heart not so long ago?

you're acting absolutely strange in his eyes and he hates it. he hates how you would just bury or bottle your emotions. you're creating a facade and a labyrinth where you keep it by yourself.

“y/n, it's not time for anything. let's just talk please.” you hate it how he sounds like he's begging, but satoru never begs.

“let’s go to my room. let's talk this out—”

“gojo sensei! yaga sensei was looking for y—oh…” yuuji trailed his tracks when he saw you and satoru together.

“dummy! why do you just yell like that?!” megumi bonked his friend's head for interrupting your talk.

wearing your mask again, you smiled at the duo then brushed yourself away from the scene. satoru couldn't stop you any further, you're already away from him.

either way, satoru does the same, he wore his mask just like you. smiling at his students, he let them navigate the way towards yaga and deal with all of his shits so he would have time and talk to you properly this time.

meanwhile, yuuji and megumi were dismissed after they had done their task. nudging his black haired friend, yuuji pointed out things earlier.

“hey, fushiguro. is it just me or did i just see y/n sensei…crying?” he questioned. megumi remained silent because even saw that you were crying—they’re also not dumb to notice the burst energy somewhere inside your body.

“whether she is or not, it's none of our business.” megumi replied.

“i know. but i couldn't help but to feel really worried about her. you know crying can be bad, especially when you're pregnant, that could stress her out.” yuuji surprisingly knows how pregnancy somehow works. but they both know he's right again. they're worried about you and your baby, so they both take a mental note to visit you later.

as you slam the door behind you, a silent sob escapes your lips as you slide your back behind the wooden frame. along with the sound of your cries, was also the sound of your heart breaking.

for some reason, the facade you just put up there early makes you suffocate. it burns your eyes and it makes you shudder in pain. the hyperventilating noise escapes from your lips while you clutch the handful of fabrics of your blouse.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

god, that feeling burns! his words keep on burning in your head, engraving the letters piece by piece. those words are not too cruel, it's a little far from what you had heard before. but it came out directly from your husband's mouth, the father of your baby.

maybe, you think you acted this way because of your hormones. but nonetheless, he's like blaming you for all of his misfortunes and that made you recall your past arguments with him before.

it was like a collection of puzzles coming up together, picturing a clear image; you were just a distraction, he wanted nothing to do with you, you were just a burden, he wanted to dissolve this marriage, you would never be his, he wanted to be free from you.

you put your hand on your baby bump, stroking it ever so gently. you swore to yourself that you would never let anyone harm your baby, you would never let this marriage harm your baby, you would never let satoru harm your baby, you never let yourself harm your baby. that's for sure.

because as the clock ticks, time passes. and as the time passes, more tears flow to your cheeks along with blood on your legs.

[part 2 is out now — ©luvvixu2024]

[alastors-antlers]

Why Alastor is good aroace rep after all, written by an aroace

Hello all! I just want to start off this post by saying that I'm one person who definitely doesn't speak for all aroaces, but I wanted to make a post on this anyway, and maybe some folk would be interested in hearing out another perspective?

I'm not really caught up on everything that's been said over the course of HH's creation - only more recent interviews, since I'm pretty new to the fandom. Apologies if I've missed anything, but also I do not have the time to keep up with all the out-of-canon-material backstory unfortunately. I'm working with what we've got here.

So here's the thing:

Alastor is cruel, he's narcissistic, he doesn't care about anyone except himself, he's a serial killer and a monster.

(That's the argument I've heard - please tell me if that's not really what people are going for lol, in which case I've totally misunderstood?)

The issue with aroace rep when it paints asexual people with those traits is that it aims to dehumanizes them. Sex and love are essential to the human experience, right? So why wouldn't someone be interested? Because they're self-absorbed, and cold, and detached. They don't have the capacity to love others enough to feel romance.

And sure, Alastor is a killer, and a schemer, and prideful, and a monster by hell's standards. But no matter how above it all and stylish and in control and provocative he wants to be, he's a very human character, and his aroace-ness never serves to add to his alienation. You could even say that it makes him seem even more personable.

That's what I think is the key difference.

why he's human

Alastor's whole persona is about control, and he basically straight-up says this. He's controlling what his enemies know, what his public image is like. His goal is to be the Radio Demon -- overlord of Hell, charismatic, Machiavellian, and undefeatable. He's not. Despite that smile plastered over his face (a powerful tool, huh) he's so expressive for someone who's constantly pretending.

You see his exasperation with the Egg Bois and with Charlie's ranting; his nervousness in front of Zestial; his frustration with Lucifer and the petty lengths he goes to to piss off the ruler of Hell.

You see his desperation, making that deal with Charlie. He's surprised by the idea of being vulnerable in front of an enemy like Adam, and so close to danger. He drops the radio filter and the affect out of fear, and runs on broadcast TV to let out panic and anger and bitterness in his hideout, where no one else can see him.

He has a smile that tells us he's genuinely happy to see someone; it's a little wider than his default. You see it with Mimzy's greeting, you see it with Rosie. Rosie, especially, serves to make Alastor more human to the audience. More on this later, but for now, I'm just saying that you can see that he at least seems to respect her greatly. Whatever bond they have, we know that he trusts her to touch him, to share history with him, and with support that he trusts no one else for.

He pretends, but he can't pretend it all away. Loads of these emotions aren't even advantageous for him to show. It isn't necessarily how the typical asexual psychopath acts; he's not emotionless or only capable of anger or brutality.

He's so full of emotion that it leaks through, despite all that he does to avoid it. He's not inhuman and aloof, not really - he's so, so human, even when he tries not to be because he thinks that'll be what keeps him above all the rest. In control, and free from his chains.

(If anyone wants to see images about all this, I'll make a separate post - just let me know.)

(I also have another post, talking about why Alastor is at least a little attached to the hotel's residents too, shown via conversation with Niffty. In what way? different question.)

how the aroace part contributes to that

Now, to be fair, we don't hear much about his aroaceness in canon. It's just not relevant a lot of the time.

In the pilot, Angel's proposition ruffles his feathers so much that Alastor blanks for a moment. It's a joke, sure, but that ace panic face is a pretty popular Alastor moment in the fandom - Alastor, thrown off-balance by a sex joke of all things, after so many years in Hell that he should probably be used to this.

It's a moment that makes him more approachable; his aroaceness shows him unprepared for something someone else does for one of the only real moments in the whole episode.

And the other part: the ace in the hole statement.

Rosie apparently knows Alastor so well that she read that he's aroace. That tells us about their relationship; namely, that it is long-standing and genuine enough that she gleaned a piece of real information from him. It's a casual fact that she knows about him before he even figured it out himself. It lends legitimacy to their bond - this bond that shows us a more comfortable and warm side of Alastor that we don't often see.

If their relationship is purely business, isn't this something pretty frivolous and personal? It's not like he has anything to gain by telling her about his life, but she learned about it somehow. How close are they? That's where it adds a layer of complexity and personality to his character..

thoughts on representation

Overall, Alastor's an interesting character who has a level of depth and care and personality (outside of cruelty) that asexual psychopath tropes lack. Again, the moments where he's being represented as disinterested in sex or romance don't make him seem detached. Again, they don't say "look how hostile toward relationships his behaviour is - how separate he is from our humanity". That's what bad villain ace rep is. That's not what the show's doing.

Also: I'm not saying that we need to lower our standards or anything, but even if you think it's not the best rep, I feel like we should be supporting HH's efforts here. I know that on Tumblr we have a pretty queer-friendly space going, which is honestly an understatement lol but

Aces are incredibly underrepresented in fiction. There's a whole Wikipedia page about asexual characters in media, and it's short as all hell, and even if you consider what's on there you see quite a number of one-off characters who are never mentioned again.

In terms of real life business - before the DSM updated their definition of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in 2013, identifying as asexual wasn't even a recognized thing. If you talked to a clinician about your lack of sexual desire, you could be diagnosed with a disorder. Only in the 5th edition do we now have a little exclusion footnote about it.

The concept of asexuality hasn't been explored nearly as much as other queer identities in our scientific research. We get crumbs in terms of mainstream representation and understanding. House M.D. has an episode where House "disproves" us because he's just so smart.

Alastor isn't going to be perfect representation. There's no such thing as perfect representation, and from the moment he was conceptualized, you could see how people would take him poorly. Still, I think he's a net positive.

He isn't a side character or a token ace - he's a core part of the show, whose personality and character motivations we can reasonably presume are going to be explored much more deeply in upcoming season(s). He's loved by the fandom. Right now, given what we know, I trust Vivziepop to write the aroace representation he deserves, because with the way I've heard the cast/directing/etc. talk about him, they're trying to do the aroace community justice, so I wish people would let up just a little on the whole "Alastor is bad rep".

Let's give him a chance, all right?

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hiii! May I, please, request the M6 with an MC who doesn’t show a lot of emotions and is regarded as apathetic by strangers, who actually likes to joke around and shows affection through quality time or acts of service?

Thank you 🫶🫶

The Arcana HCs: When MC comes across colder than they are

~ aww, anon! I had that struggle all through my teens, most of my friends told me they were scared to approach me at first until we actually talked XD I hope you enjoy these! - brainrot ~

Julian

Let's get this straight: you're smart, attractive, capable, single, and (seemingly) emotionally distant? Consider him whipped

Does he find you slightly intimidating? yes. Is that intimidation lethally attractive to him? ... also yes. Is this his sign to play off of that detached attitude as the roguish charmer he is? absolutely

So you can imagine his surprise when, as the two of you get closer, you start to show this playful, affectionate side that he never would have guessed at

Now he loves you twice as much as he used to, and he didn't even think that that was possible

Loves it when you spend quality time with him. He's so used to bouncing around the world by himself that having you set aside time to be with him is wonderfully new and fulfilling

Acts of service are nice too, but he gets so flustered and worked up if you don't let him reciprocate. Please let him reciprocate

Loves to tell the story of the cool, ruthless apprentice who stole his heart when he stole into their shop

Asra

They've known you for nine years. They know about your accidentally stand-offish exterior and how nice you actually are once you're comfortable around someone

You're not the only best friend he has who's like that *cough*Muriel*cough*

It does mean a lot to them that you feel comfortable enough around them to be playful and affectionate

It makes you that much sweeter to fall in love with, and that much harder to hide his feelings from

They find it endlessly entertaining to watch person after person approach you thinking that you're aloof, only to find out that you're genuinely kind and caring

He loves spending quality time with you. Lazing upstairs in the afternoon sun, reading a book and daydreaming while you do your thing snuggled next to him? Bliss. Pure bliss

They also appreciate your acts of service, but usually because they're terrible at remembering to do their share of the cleaning (that poor stove salamander really deserves a cleaner wood pile)

Nadia

She's pretty used to having an accurate and in-depth first impression of someone

And yet, despite you coming off as aloof and uninterested, she keeps catching glimpses of this wonderful warmth in your eyes

Color her intrigued

Very honored when you begin to act more casual and playful around her. It means you trust her enough to be yourself

She does feel guilty sometimes that you always manage to make quality time for her, when her schedule is often so hectic that she can't reciprocate to the same extent

However, when she can enjoy quality time with you (and she often does!) she dotes on you endlessly and savors every moment

She didn't expect acts of service from you. She's used to having assistance around the clock, and on top of that she values her independence and a peer-based relationship with you

But when you notice that she's tired, and have breakfast brought to her chambers so that she can sleep in? She's in love. She's so very in love

Muriel

You. He gets you. You are his kind of person

Finally, somebody he doesn't have to explain himself to! Though he still finds it a little disarming that his intimidating presence doesn't deter you from wanting to get to know him better

He knows from his own experience how valuable your trust and affection are, and as much as he hesitates to admit it, it gives him butterflies every time you open up to him a little bit more

Now when Asra forces him to attend a multiperson event, he has company when he stands in the corner and puts off "do not approach" vibes

It also means he has company when he feels safe enough to relax a little bit and enjoy connection with you. He has quality time for you in abundance (unless he's recharging his social battery)

He's also the kind of guy who prefers to let his actions speak for himself, so when you do little things to brighten up his day it means the world to him

You two around strangers + Inanna = peak intimidation tactics

Portia

Portia can get along with anyone if she puts her mind to it. She's not put off by your aura at all

If anything, she mistakes your apathy for mystery:

The powerful magician who calls themself an apprentice that the Countess had clairvoyant dreams about, sailing through the palace like they're untouchable. That's so cool

Very proud of herself when she "unlocks" your relaxed, affectionate, funny side. It means you see her as a worthy partner

She's the kind of person who likes to cram as much into her day as possible, so it takes a small paradigm shift for her to get used to your offers of quality time. She loves it once she does, though

You make her so flustered with your acts of service. She's used to being the person watching everyone's back and making sure things run smoothly behind the scenes

Having that kind of attention turned back in her direction is new and unexpected and more charming than she thought it would be

Likes to use your intimidation in important meetings because she comes off so friendly

Lucio

Right, so you triggered him a little bit at first

You're the first person in three years who can see and interact with him, and no matter what he does he feels like he keeps running into a wall of ice. To say you infuriate him is an understatement

(It doesn't help that you remind him of his mother in that way)

Of course, this only makes him more determined to earn your approval and affection

And he is so gratified when he receives it from you

It's a good thing that you like spending quality time with him, because with all the traveling the two of you do as journeymen there's lots of space for that

He doesn't know to recognize your acts of service until the two of you have to travel separately for a bit, and when he realizes how much you do for him every day he nearly breaks down into Melchior's fur (Mercedes was with you)

He laugh uproariously at all of your jokes, regardless of how good or bad they are

[keikakudom]

another old note I have about how Alastor & Vox's friendship ended

I think the idea is cute and dramatic that Alastor and Vox's friendship ended after Vox was so lovestruck and got overzealous, confessing to Al, only to get burned. 

But. 

Consider the following:

Vox and Al worked together for decades(give or take 20 years), they're best friends and know exactly how each other operate. Vox knows the reaction Al will give him if he confesses, especially that he wants Al as a romantic partner.

So Vox never does, not for years. He lives off being in Al's  presence and company alone, and is contempt with that. For years. It gets frustrating, and hard to hide that Vox wants to go the extra mile. Alastor, naturally, spots the minute expressions on Vox everyday, and what does he do about it? Well he /teases/ Vox about it! Teases Vox affectionately about how often he flusters, messes up, short circuits, unknowing(or knowingly...) that it's not because Vox is just a silly picture box, incompetent at doing work without help. It's because of Al himself. 

Gradually, Vox gets tired of this treatment. It's like chasing something he will never catch, a fishing line of meat indefinitely dangled infront of a shark. 

And maybe, after all these years - Vox doesn't even love Al with the same capacity at tht point anymore. 

By the time Vox confesses-- it's not out of puppy love. It's an ultimatum. You don't want to love me romantically? I can live with that. But will you atleast be by my side, in work? That you see and want me in any mutual sense possible. That I know the minute you tire of me, that I don't entertain you, everything between us won't be discarded? That worry consumes him the most. We have something to signify we are together. Vox needs something to show for all their friendship. Alastor is content with his say-so alone(something something nature/conception of radio. He IS the source. The originator of info).

So, moment of confession and Alastor --

A) doesnt take Vox's proposal seriously, "you're far too incompetent as a work partner"

B) is offended by Vox, who got too close and Al thinks Vox sees Al as vulnerable enough to need to ally with anyone(Not in weakness, but in capability. Al is very obsessed with his cryptid, detached from humanity, persona).

(Vox would still get all bashful and romantic though. He's just suddenly reminded why it wouldn't work out and why he pressured himself to force this decision after Alastor rejects him).

Either way, Alastor didn't want to appeal to Vox's needs even once. I feel like even in a friendship, there still has to be some sort of sway and compromise here and there, but it was just so suffocatingly one-sided for Vox. Fondness turns to hate, and we all know the story from there.

In their current rivalry status:

- Vox can throw a huge tantrum all he wants, slander and hatepost about Alastor on every big screen in Hell - show everyone that HE HATES THIS FUCKER.

- But in part, Alastor/as the Radio Demon being the (not literally but I feel his personality leans towards radio symbolism) originator/source of information, he is comfortable not caring about their feud because at the end of the day he is confident Vox isn't over him, or will continue to like/love him. 

- That isn't to say Alastor isn't bitter in his own way. He and Vox had a good thing going on but 'oh Vox had to go and ruin that'. So he just expresses that with his own opinions by demeaning Vox's tech and using his own actions to prove that he doesn't need Vox or any of his proprietaries in ANY capacity whatsoever. Very telling. 

[prince-kallisto]

Missingno! Larry AU Evidence

This is an AU/Headcanon made by johnchurch on AO3, this was all inspired by them and I really fell in love with it, please support them! (I hope it’s okay mentioning you)

I wanted to share this AU and give some “evidence” to support it for fun. Larry deserves to have some glitch eldritch vibes <3

The iconic Missingo from Red and Blue had a Bird/Normal typing! The Bird Type was a scrapped typing for Red and Blue, which became the Flying Type. Larry specializes in both Normal and Flying types due to being a Gym Leader and an Elite Four member. This is probably a reference to Normal/Flying being the most common dual typing.

Missingno’s party sprite appears as the “generic man” NPC sprite. Larry the Exceptional Everyman…

Missingno is very pixelated with lots of squares and rectangles. Some believe the white spaces with a pixel in the middle are its eyes. Larry is the only character in Scarlet and Violet to have square eyes

Missingno causes a lot of glitches in areas like the Pokémon League Hall of Fame, making all the entries become scrambled or straight up ineligible. In the Scarlet and Violet Books, there are pages that are missing words and letters in every single copy of that book. *Squints at Larry working at the Pokémon League for 3 different jobs*

This is a bit of a joke, but when describing Missingno’s appearance, many websites say it’s shaped “like a backwards L.”

L for Larry haha

Larry’s Gym Floor has this odd clipping effect going on. It’s more noticeable once you send Pokémon out in the Gym Floor. Depending on the severity of glitches in your game, Pokémon can sink halfway into the floor! Interesting how this effect is only seen in Medali Gym! (His Gym vs Elite Four room for comparison)

The Elite Four battle music has become infamous for somehow glitching, repeating the first few notes over and over again. It’s caused by a Memory Leak glitch, and it’s very unnerving to battle with it playing haha. What did you do, Larry? Were you in a bad mood?

Looking at the slowed-down animation of Larry’s Pokeball throw kinda freaked me out. I love his aggressive throw, but looking at it carefully, it looks like there’s a frame where his head is detached from his body? Once I noticed it, I can’t unsee it! It’s a lot more noticeable when watching the actual animation. Please be more careful with your vessel, Larry

This glitch was so funny to me, but when battling Top Champion Geeta, a glitch can occur where Larry appears at the edge of the arena. He just…watches you battle, unmoving. It’s so perfect haha. Larry glitches his way in to support you and watch you beat up his boss

I know this is just classic Pokémon animation, but Larry pulls all his Pokeballs from his breast pocket instead of a belt or pants pocket. I’ve always loved this animation for its ‘misdirection’ trick. He goes to adjust his tie, and in a flash he pulls out a Pokeball! Considering he has several teams of Pokémon,how do they even fit? Missingno glitches the 6th item in your inventory, giving you 128 copies of that item. People have used this glitch to get tons of Masterballs or Rare Candies. Perhaps Larry’s pocket has these infinite capabilities as well? (also he looks so cool in this screenshoot!)

I love how…aggressively normal Larry is. Average office worker, average tired overworked man, normal personality , normal appearance, normal normal normal. I’d like to imagine that Missingno!Larry tries so hard to behave like a normal person, to the point he’s a bit abnormal haha. If you think about it, his title of the ‘Exceptional Everyman’ fits very well. Exceptional can mean “outstanding,” but also “unusual” and “abnormal.” His title is very deceptive

This AU is so entertaining ! Having this sort of mindset makes the glitches in the game a lot more fun. All the twisted movements, glitched out faces, and see-through landscapes may all be from the forbidden presence of an ‘unremarkable’ Missingno.

I’d love to hear some other ideas/evidence y’all have! Thank you johnchurch for my new obsession haha, it’s such a cool idea

Edit: I’m definitely making a Giratina! Larry AU because the reblogs are right, it is too funny to pass up. The real banishment is being stuck in a 9-5 office job and working two side jobs to make ends meet

[lithopus]

For the ask game! 1! Who is your favorite character to write for and is this the character you find easiest to write for?

Thank you for the ask!

I guess for fanfiction, I pretty much only write Alhaitham and Kaveh’s POVs—although, actually, I’ve also written two (unposted, sfw) fics for my friends that contained Xingqiu’s POV, and he’s really fun to write for 😂 Now that I think about it, he’s probably the easiest perspective I’ve written. I enjoy his chivalrous and overdramatic way of speaking/narrating, and the guy is such a simp for Chongyun that it cracks me up. I definitely have a lot of fun writing him.

But, going back to Alhaitham and Kaveh…it’s difficult for me to choose! I like writing both of their perspectives for different reasons, and both of them are easy to write in some ways and challenging in others.

I’ll answer the question about whose POV is easiest first.

Technically, it’s Alhaitham’s—his way of thinking is a lot more accessible to me, whereas I sometimes struggle to relate to Kaveh’s perspective on things. It’s kind of similar to how Alhaitham “knows” Kaveh’s philosophies on a theoretical level, but doesn’t emotionally “understand” them the way that someone who personally shares Kaveh’s beliefs would. I more or less know how Kaveh’s mind works, but since I don’t usually approach things the way he does, his attitudes and ideals sometimes aren’t personally familiar to me. There are times when my brain has to work a bit harder to figure out how he views the world.

Because of that, though, I think that it might be easier—counterintuitively—for me to write stories from Kaveh’s perspective. Since I “understand” Alhaitham more, I can more easily convey what he’s thinking/feeling whenever I’m outside his head. Conversely, being inside Kaveh’s head allows me to get a closer look at how he’s processing things, which then makes it easier for me to work through his thoughts and figure out how to portray him.

So, Alhaitham’s POV is the easier perspective for me to write, in a vacuum…but if I’m writing a story about him and Kaveh, writing from Kaveh’s POV often makes things easier for me.

As for my favorite POV to write…if I had to choose a perspective to be stuck in, I think I’d choose Alhaitham’s. I love the unspoken depth of his love for Kaveh—like, his devotion is clear even from Kaveh’s POV, but being inside Alhaitham’s mind lets us see just how much he cares, even though he often hides it behind his sarcastic/detached attitude. I like being able to explore that side of him; it’s kind of like “looking behind the curtain” in the sense that we still see Alhaitham’s usual attitude with the way he speaks and acts, but we also see the contrasting tenderness he feels toward Kaveh (although, when I write him, Alhaitham’s narration does often try to bury that tenderness, lol).

That said, I do also like the idea of leaving Alhaitham’s unspoken affection…well, y’know, unspoken—so, being stuck in Alhaitham’s POV all the time wouldn’t be ideal for me.

It’s also interesting to get inside Alhaitham’s head and dismantle the “rational” barriers that he constructs around some things. That is, he’s clearly capable of caring deeply about certain things—like Kaveh—and I love writing about that kind of quiet intensity. And while I do believe that he’s the calm, logical person we see in canon, I also know that he can’t be invulnerable; he’s human, which means he’s capable of being hurt, and I like seeing how he processes those types of emotions.

But there are things that I enjoy about writing Kaveh’s perspective, too. For example, Kaveh’s artistry and ways of thinking give me more opportunities to be poetic with narration. When I’m writing Alhaitham’s POV, his analogies are usually more practical and functional; they tend to focus solely on explaining a concept, so while they might be creative sometimes, they won’t necessarily sound pretty. With Kaveh, though, I can let loose and be more indulgent with metaphors/imagery to explore a feeling or concept. I haven’t written poetry in a while, but his perspective gives me more room to flex those muscles, lol.

Kaveh’s perspective is also more straightforward, at least for me. Yes, he’s got a lot going on, and his psychology can get complicated at times—but he’s pretty much told us about all of his problems either through dialogue or his character stories, and we’ve seen him when he’s excited, happy, morose, angry, et cetera; he tends to acknowledge his feelings in a more “head-on” way, even when he’s trying to avoid his problems or downplay his emotions. So, I like that he’s a more “direct” kind of character, as opposed to the mental gymnastics Alhaitham performs in order to seem like An Incredibly Chill And Totally Unemotional Guy Who Is Never Bothered By Anything Ever.

(Now that I say that, it’s kind of funny that we joke about Kaveh’s mental acrobatics to misinterpret the things Alhaitham says, when Alhaitham is an Olympic gymnast in his own right 😂)

That’s my main answer, but I do have some additional thoughts about why writing Alhaitham’s POV can sometimes be a challenge for me. I’ll include those thoughts in a reblog, though, since I don’t want my response here to get too lengthy.

UPDATE: my additional thoughts are in this reblog

[yandere-kokeshi]

Yandere Izuku, Katsuki, Kirishima and Hawks with a gn darling who has a service dog

Warnings: yandere behavior

A/N: this was requested. Sadly, I couldn't get to the request as the person deactivated.

Enjoy regardless :]

Deku / Izuku Midoriya:

Extremely supportive and respectful when he figures out about your dog - No matter what, he still looks at you like he does every day. He finds you unique, especially after he learns about your diagnosis.

He makes sure to help you get ready in the mornings, especially if you two (or three) are going to be somewhere in public. He always helps you pick out their collar. Before leaving, he always kisses your head and promises to see you later; reminding you to keep your phone recording in case of incidents.

If you’re in public and you have an episode, Izuku is quite frantic the first time. But, he’s learned to stay beside you and let your buddy do their work, leaving to get you a water bottle and covering your body with his jacket in case paparazzi comes around.

Almost becomes a different person in public with you. From your confession and his chances of meeting people in non-friendly animal places, he knows how selfish and idiotic people can be. With this said, Deku gets more protective of you and the dog; not letting anyone touch or distract your dog. Out of the rest of the guys, he’s nicer in reminding people. But rather still blunt and can come off as passive-aggressive.

Spoils the dog like the one of the Kardashians when they’re ‘off duty’. Only buys the best treats, and looks on Amazon for hours for the perfect sweaters and collars that match yours and his outfits. He may have stolen your dogs on a few instances, cuddling their body as he babies them with more treats.

Izuku is the guy who suggests dying your dog’s fur in colorful shades. Whether it’s holiday themes, bright but unique patterns, or simply your favorite color; Deku is more than happy to help you dye them, giving them peanut-butter biscuits afterward.

Dynamight / Katsuki Bakugou:

At first, Katski was rather distant and nonchalant toward your dog. He didn’t know how to react. But now, he loves the dog as much as he loves you. He’s proud of them and more comfortable with an individual who’s capable of taking care of you, and keeping you company, especially in rare occurrences, when you go out into public without him.

He’s incredibly cautious near the dog. Bakugou always makes sure to never bother or get in your way while you two are in the same room. At times, he acts as if the dog has the plague.

On times he’s away and on hero duty, whenever the two of you call, he makes sure to ask how the dog is and makes sure they’re treating you right; promising to bring treats home. And that he does! Brings a whole box full of goodies just for your 1st greatest hero.

While Katsuki may seem detached from the dog, he loves the dog incredibly much. The minute he gets home and gets an okay from you to start cuddling with them, Katsuki rubs their ears and kisses their snout as he praises them for doing a good job; it’s darn cute watching the both of them sleep on the couch after a hard day at work.

If you’re into safely dying your dog colors, he may suggest drawing a skull on their back or doing his colors (black, orange, and green). As cliché, as it sounds, he thinks it’s cute. Nevertheless, he’s more than happy to help you dye the doggo’s fur if you’re fine with it.

Whenever the two of you are out in public and he sees a fake service dog, he’s more prominent to yell out that it’s bullshit and that they shouldn’t be there. With his broad voice and high structure, high chance whoever the dipshit is, they scurry off in fear. And if someone decides to challenge his patience by petting the dog? All hell is loose and he gets really scary - which, is not a pretty sight from the obnoxious-explosive hero.

On rare occurrences, Katsuki does get jealous of the dog. But, with him being slightly more mature, he just gets over it and demands cuddles the minute he gets home - staring down your dog as if they ate his shoe. But don’t worry, he means well.

Red Riot / Ejiro Kirishima:

Pretty calm considering how nervous and worrisome he is with you. Whether the dog is there for physical or emotional needs (or both!), Kirishima worries like a mother hen; he always fears you will hurt yourself, even if he trusts the dog 100%.

Watching your dog do tasks is remarkable to him. Whatever they do, whether that’s doing crowd control, holding the groceries (or items), doing specific alerts, or simply doing their everyday deep pressure therapy, he’s always looking at them with an awed look and tends to tell you how great of a dog they are.

Is ready to throw slurs whenever people come up to you or simply try to pet the dog. Like the fuck? The vest has big bold letters - don’t touch the dog, dumbass. Rarely does Kirisima get angry, especially in the public eye, but when he does, it’s quite mean and harsh. He doesn’t understand people and their unnecessary ways.

Having disabilities is rough, especially after having a flare-up or an episode. With this said, Ejiro will try to never let you or your service animal get separated. He always makes sure to place trackers on the both of you, as he can see if you two need help and so on.

The first time he sees you have an episode, whether that’s PTSD, SIB, or a disability flair-up — he immediately starts to freak. But, with growing and realizing that he doesn't need to help at the moment, he’s learned to get you a water bottle, comfort you or the dog when needed, and wait for you to calm down/or get to a point where you two can talk it out and leave safely.

On Halloween, expect Kirishima to be the dog dad where he will beg you to let him dress them up, specifically safely dye their fur to look like him or a cute fireman

Hawks / Keigo Takami:

He’s pretty excited to meet the dog but respectful of the whole ordeal. He asks multiple questions about surrounding the dog – such as what it’s trained for and what he can do to help not distract your dog from working.

As he’s a trained hero, he’s seen service dogs before. For this reason, he never looks down on you or the dog for needing help; he finds the dog amazing at what it’s doing. Keigo always reminds you daily that you’re amazing and nobody should give you crap for that. You just need extra steps with help and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Being a handler is tough. He’s seen it, especially with the way you come home all mad with your experiences. Keigo is always there for you to rant, wrapping his wings around you and letting the pup affectionately cuddle you.

Gets a new type of anger when he realizes how stupid people can be. Whenever he goes with you, Hawks makes sure nobody – including kids – touches you or the dog. While his smile is always charming, his hands and eyes are always showing his hateful and annoyed emotions. At times, it’s terrifying.

With episodes, they’re random. And when they do happen, Hawks will let you rest and do what your dog is trained to do - let him have the time to run down to the nearest 7/11 to get your comfort drink and snack. And if this happens in public, he makes sure to stay in front of you; covering you with his wings in case photos are taken.

While I believe Hawks isn’t much of a dog person, he’ll still love on your doggo like he loves on you. At times, he’ll come home from work with extra toys, treats, and colorful

—

Masterlist || Please reblog or comment instead of liking, it helps me a bunch!

© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[prodigal-explorer]

your turn to die ship pairings that i think would be interesting:

1. reko x nao. thé lesbians!!! i know this is not remotely a rare pair but i feel like this ship is super interesting because they’re so different but when it comes to core values they have a lot in common. they both care so deeply about other people and form attachments quickly. and in a way, i feel like when they’re together, they’re stronger. nao helps reign reko in when her emotions get the better of her, and reko helps keep nao centered and focused in times of crisis. i just think it works so well.

2. sara x nao. this is a ship that is technically frowned upon in america (since sara is 17 and nao is 18-19 ish) but in japan there’s no problem with it i’m pretty sure? idk. they’re so close in age anyway that i personally don’t see it as an issue but maybe that’s just me. i feel like it would work similarly to reko x nao but to me, sara and nao both have a very strong inner peace that makes them stronger than they seem on the outside. though nao is a bit volatile in times of distress, for the most part, she’s very thoughtful and gentle. sara on the other hand is logical and sharp, and i feel like these two personalities would work super well together because they both think so deeply about the world and try to have faith in others.

3. kai x shin. okay this one sounds weird but hear me out. they’re both somewhat vulnerable young adults who put on a front in order to seem untouchable. i feel like since they have this in common, they would understand and trust each other, and be able to break down the walls that they both created. i also think since neither of them are very socially adept, they would enjoy each others’ strange senses of humors, and there would be no weird power imbalance that might throw shin off. even though kai is powerful, he’s also very humble, and he rarely actually causes danger. shin would likely find comfort in kai more than fear, and kai would feel little instinct to protect somebody who is already so clearly capable. also shin showing kai how to use a smartphone and kai making shin eggs benedict.

4. q-taro x mai. okay yeah i know that mai like lowkey almost killed q-taro or whatever but like mistakes happen mai is literally just a girl. anyway i think especially out of the context of the game, these two would make such a cute couple! they both sort of come off as selfish, but they both care a lot about their effect on the world and the people around them, and they both have a lot of passion! i feel like they would just match each other’s energies and support each others’ ambitions with enthusiasm which is just so cute to imagine.

5. sara x ranmaru. okay considering their situation in the game i highly doubt that this is a rarepair in any capacity. but i sort of see this as an opposites attract sort of deal? sara is so connected to the world and fiery and passionate while ranmaru is sort of detached and in his own world. but i could see them complementing each other very well. ranmaru being the constant gentle hand on sara’s shoulder, quietly protective, and sara inch by inch pulling ranmaru out of his shell and showing him how vibrant the world could really be if he just let himself exist in it. idk i think it would be cool!

i’m not sure how much i truly ship these pairings but i think they’re at least kinda fun to think about!

[summermoonshine]

Call Of Duty MWIII - SPOILERS

Below, some clips + videos from MWIII where we'll analyse what happened to Soap.

After sharing them, however, I would like to say a few things (if you not interested in this, I understand, but please: just skip that part as I really need to vent about the matter; my apologies).

Now, the clips.

Let's start with the Soap's death (full video will be uploaded in a separate post because it deserves respect):

Wanting to deliberately leave out the fact that Makarov had complete freedom to engage a firefight without being captured (the idiotic run after killing Soap is truly ridiculous compared to Makarov in MW3), what is inevitable to do is, for me, to compare the dynamics with something already seen: does this scene remind you of anything? No? Maybe this will jog your memory:

This is in addition to what said by Makarov to Captain Price:

"Never bury your enemies alive". Who else was buried alive if not Ghost himself (according to '09 backstory)? This could justify the lack of an official backstory for Ghost 22: would Soap's death be his true downfall into the underworld? Mh.

Speaking of him, I so resent Soap's death for many reasons (which I'll discuss shortly), but above all because by killing him, they also killed Ghost: one shot, two deaths. Ghost had started to live again thanks to Soap, and it was with him that he died, too. Until the end, he was stood next to him because ''no one fights alone''. The fact that, even under the threat of a bomb capable of neutralizing half the world, Ghost chose to remain next to Soap as he bled to death to me is everything. The stone-cold man, detached and attached only to the field manual (where friendship does not even appear), he is the one who SCREAMS his sergeant's name. Let's hear the pain in his voice:

Sure, it could be a standard reaction of any man who sees his teammate killed before his eyes, but no one would expect such a reaction from the 'stone-cold man'. But a mask isn't enough to hide the pain: He's lost; his eyes roaming for help:

He's out of breath, his chest moving up and down as if he's not just catching his breath, but holding back an explosion. Cry? Tears? Anger?

I slowed down this part to highlight how the head-shake was not just to confirm the death, indicating that there was nothing left to be done, but it was personal: he can't believe his eyes, and his heavy breathing confirms it.

At that precise moment, they didn't just kill Ghost; they killed Simon, too.

In fact, in the clip below (I cut+slowed it) it's Simon (see the mask) who takes care of Johnny after his death: he keeps Johnny in his backpack, holds the urn from start to finish, he has the task of scattering the ashes in what appears to be a Scottish's mountain, and he is the one who brings HIM back home with him.

He is family.

It's precisely when talking about family that I can't stop thinking about the quantity of ashes in his urn. The amount of ashes is small: what if half the ashes went to Soap's family and Ghost kept the other half?

Also, Soap has managed to make himself loved by everyone, and this is why I consider this scene (pic below) to be of fundamental importance: the act of adding his nickname stands for: ''you were not a soldier, but something dear to me''.

The document is drawn up by Laswell, the one who protected Task Force 141 from behind the scenes even when General Shepherd had betrayed them, showing that the relationship between them all goes far beyond the working one:

it is a matter of heart.

-

It's for this reason that I feel like I must say some things about all this: there is so much to say actually but, as absurd as it may be, I felt the strong need to take some time for myself and understand what to do with this pain. As a player and historical supporter of the COD saga, I can say that in 20 years I have never seen the fandom as active, lively and full of passion as in 2022.

As I already explained, it was vital to me that AV gave Soap another chance after mw3. Sure, it's a war videogame and deaths are therefore inevitable, but killing the same character twice with the sole hope of making us hate Makarov so as to have more hype for the next COD (which, personally, I doubt will follow this arc since I define it now concluded although there are still unresolved issues) it was a stupid move to make, because by doing so we are hating AV, not Price or Makarov himself.

Furthermore, what is most infuriating is that if the COD family has started to be so creative and enthusiastic again, it is above all thanks to Saop (and to our Neil along with others VA; unfortunately, not every one of them).

Each of the protagonists in MWII was perfect, earning a special place in our hearts, but it is clear that Soap and the relationship established with Ghost were the catalyst of definitive affection that connected us so deeply to the reboot, leading us to buy even a new game that, more than a campaign, more than a DLC, is a scam:

rushed dialogues, too many characters piled on top of each other, typical warzone game dynamics with such a short duration that each level becomes chaotic etc etc etc… 2, maximum 3 hours later, we find ourselves with a Soap killed, slaughtered and left to die with total dullness and without any emotional focus DURING our game without even receiving a cutscene dedicated to him.

And, as if that wasn't enough, by killing him, Ghost was also indirectly killed: for once, perhaps for the first real time, that man - always represented as cold - had found a family and something, someone to hold on to : taking it, taking HIM, away from him, they demolished two people with a single shot.

Atrocious.

Treating one of the characters who has practically supported the entire current COD fortune on his shoulders in this way is, for me, a great injustice, as well as a stupid move.

Again, I don't hate Makarov; I hate AV.

Soap 22 will forever be our comfort zone, because he has never been just a video game character, but our home.

[quetzalpapalotl]

Tell me about Arcee and Prowl. Do they put up with each other for any reason beyond pure pragmatism?

@hangryshawn

Omg thanks guys. But also, Ruin, this will spoil parts of exRID that you just started, I know you don't really care but be warned.

I'd said that when it comes down to it, their relationship is mostly pragmatism, but I don't want to simplify or dimish it by calling it that.

Arcee at that start of exRID, that is, when she starts to work for Prowl, is someone who has decided she wants to work for a better world, problem is that she's never had any real friends and the only thing she knows how to do is kill. This doesn't seem like a profile fit to bring about Bee's idea of peace between the 3 factions that, to be clear, Arcee claims to support and admire. So because she's not too proud to admit when she's out of her depth, she gets someone who can at least direct her skills to further the cause of peace.

Now, I don't want to make it sound like Arcee is just mindlessly following Prowl because she can't think for herself. It's just that, again, this is all new to her and furthermore, Prowl is someone that makes sense to her. While Prowl is ruthless, Arcee is straightforward. Prowl shows something that's a clear hindrance for their plans, Arcee deals with it. While Prowl understands that killing Ratbat in secret with no trial is morally dubious and his fellow Autobots wouldn't approve of it, Arcee genuinely doesn't understand what the big deal is when the guys was such a problem. Nevertheless she reminds Prowl that she's not just his assassin, and when Prowl get's mind controlled by Bombshell not only is she the only person to figure it out, she's completely capable of rolling with it to give the Autobots and edge when they'll need it.

The other thing is that, despite what she says and even what she thinks, Arcee is deeply lonely and craves connection. This is most obvious in her relationship with Sideswipe, but I think she believed she and Prowl had an understanding. Again, he makes sense to her when most people don't, she's choosing to work for him when she has no reason to, after revealing Prowl has her kill Ratbat she apologizes to him and confesses how cofusing this all is for her, looking more vulnerable than what she usually allows.

Problem is that this is kind one-sided. Arcee does understand Prowl to some degree, sees right through him and Prowl doesn't like that. Prowl doesn't like being told his truths and because Arcee has nothing to hide, doesn't need Prowl to make herself better, she's not easy to diminish. Arcee is an amazing asset, she's sneaky, she's efficient, she can beat virtually anyone and Prowl at the start of exRID is short on assets. But he also has no way of controling her, he has nothing over her, Arcee is not even a proper Autobot at the beginning and Prowl doesn't like lacking control.

Prowl would find the idea that Arcee and himself are similar. As mentioned, Prowl has a better understanding of what is wrong with his methods, but he does it anyway. He sees it as a sacrifice on his part, he wants to think that despite everything he's above it. Arcee's apparent lack of remorse if pretty useful, but Prowl doesn't want to be compared to that. He never told Arcee to kill Ratbat, he just pointed her on his direction, the death is on Arcee. Even if he also seems to get Arcee to some degree, this need to detach himself for her prevents him from fully granting her interiority. I never get the impression that he really sees her as much more than a weapon, not different from how everyone else sees Arcee.

He does have some manner of respect for her, like when Arcee says that she doesn't feel anything seeing Windblade and co. despite all the time he longed to meet someone like her, Prowl tells her to not let it get to her. The newcomers aren't really like Arcee and don't belong on Cybertron. Although I think this is more than anything the same kind of disregard Prowl has for neutrals, for people didn't had to fight, he's at least putting Arcee in the camp he likes.

As their partnership was kind of informal, their falling out is quiet. Arcee keeps on flexing her moral muscles and gets better at thinking by herself what she should do. She joins the Autobots proper because their goal of peace is what she strives for. When they go to Earth after Dark Cybertron Prowl's actions give him a bad look in her eyes. It becomes more aparent that Prowl is far more petty and less rational than he claims to. The way he regards humans and how he puts them in danger doesn't sit well with Arcee, who, despite everything, does have some morals.

In general, we never really see Arcee using violence in people outside the Cybertronian conflict. She's not someone that enjoys hurting the weak. We will later hear her tell Kup directly that she's not comfortable using lethal force against humans, even when they're attacking her. And even later we will find out that she was there when the Cybertronians first invaded an alien planet and overwhelmed the population with the vast difference in power, which she hadn't forgiven herself for. She doesn't like Decepticons. Prowl endagering humans does not sit well with her.

At this point she has her own idea of how things should go. Optimus and Prowl leave for Cybertron and she's lef in charge of the Autobots on Earth. This would be the end of it, except we get Sins of the Wreckers, where Arcee is far more vocal on her displeasure with Prowl. I see this attitude as an extension of how Roche writer Prowl in contrast to Barber, but how I choose to interpret it is a consequence of having time and distance to think of everything.

A think to note about SOTW is that Arcee is hurt and jealous when Prowl says Springer is the one Autobot good enough to come rescue him, especially when Springer's personality is not one that meshes well with Prowl's, unlike hers. She doesn't know about Prowl's especial disposition towards Spinger. But this server to her as final proof that Prowl never regarded her or trusted her the same way Arcee did him.

Point is, I definitively think Arcee put more stock on this relationship than Prowl did. All it takes to undo is Arcee deciding is not worth it.

[powderblueblood]

5 or 17 for Eddie and Lacy please

interrogate me about my characters

my divine pleasure to give you absolutely BOTH anon

5. GUILTY PLEASURES

full disclosure that I personally don’t believe in guilty pleasures conceptually but for the purpose of THIS: for all her tortured hipster reading (she and jess mariano share such a similar taste in literature it’s sometimes distressing), lacy loves a period romance novel—and I mean like, the drugstore paperback mills & boon bad for feminism shit. something about being too much of a control freak to allow herself to be intimately desired (this requires being seen) so she eats it up in its most melodramatic form, vicariously. same goes for kids fantasy novels (ahem, patchwork girl of oz should have been the first clue here), because she can relax into whimsy and the assurance that someone will save the day, the way they just don’t in her grounded-in-reality serious lit.

eddie’s guilty pleasures are harder to pin down, I feel, because he’s in part so detached from shame but so keenly aware of it in other places. but the boy loves to be pampered. I mean, head massage, hair treatments, bubble baths, the whole shebang. he loves to be coddled and taken care of and feels so weeeeeird about that because of the no duh abandonment issues, who’s gonna take care of him who’s gonna come into his kitchen and be hungry for him, and being perceived as a big tough metalhead MAN! he’s also a sucker for an off off off brand made for tv animated movie, like he does be tearing up at them. getting weepy about the last unicorn type ass.

17. REGRETS

lacy regrets not following phoebe to her homeroom on the first day of freshman year and chosing to chase the popular kids instead. lacy regrets divorcing herself from her emotions so harshly that she’s now terrified to feel them—good, bad, indifferent. lacy regrets letting herself go cold in an effort to get ahead. lacy would stand at her vanity in loch nora while a party she threw raged on outside and would think, ‘what the fuck is this all for?’ but everything she was brought up to believe told her that it’s better to be lonely and surrounded by bodies you can manipulate into company or kin than be lonely and alone. she regrets ever believing that.

eddie moves a little faster; he doesn’t spare much time for regretting stuff because he’s always had to simply survive, and to that end, improvise. finding a supplier in rick was improvising, begging bev to let him work at the hideout underage because it’s one of his dad’s preferred watering holes was improvising. but, if he had to pick, it’s letting improvising get in the way of how scholastically capable and clever eddie used to be when he was a kid. teachers remarked upon it in parent conferences that his mom would show up to alone, giving elizabeth that sidelong glance that told her her boy eddie was smart—and not just for a munson. he hates that he lost that somewhere between where he stands now and his mom’s hospital room.

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group A Round 3: #A4 vs #A7

#A4: Immortal vampires with daddy issues and family drama

#A7: Immortal being learns what it’s like to be human

Details and poll under the cut!

#A4: Servamp

Summary:

A normal 15-year-old boy named Mahiru Shirota, who likes to keep things ‘simple’ and uncomplicated, finds a black kitten in an alleyway and decides to take him home. He names the cat Kuro. Mahiru later discovers that Kuro is actually a Servamp (a servant vampire), and that by giving him a name he has formed a contract with him. This results in him getting dragged into a war between the other vampires and a vampire-hunting organization called C3.

Propaganda:

Servamp deals with intergenerational trauma and how wars don’t always have a clear-cut good/bad guy. The main antagonist Tsubaki, the Servamp of melancholy, and his subclasses (people he turned into vampires) seem reluctant at times to fight/hurt Mahiru unless they feel like it is necessary, and they all clearly care about each other (evil found family). Tsubaki even seems to have a bit of a bleeding heart considering how often he brings in new people even if they aren’t good at fighting. But that doesn’t change the fact that he is willing to let the world burn to achieve his goals as long as his people aren’t hurt in the process.

Then you have C3, the vampire-hunting organization. They view themselves as protectors of humanity and are willing to do anything to defeat Tsubaki, even kidnapping Mahiru to try and convince him to work with them under threat of death.

Then you have how the different Servamps deal with immortality. You have Lily, the Servamp of lust, who takes in and raises kids who are abandoned or abused. If any of the kids died before he could save them, he turns them into his subclasses instead. Then, there is Kuro, the Servamp of sloth. He doesn’t have any subclasses because you can’t know if someone want to be immortal, and it is cruel to force that upon someone. And finally, Lawless, who, for some reason, has started to kill his eves (the people he forms a contract with) once he gets bored with them.

The anime also has some absolutely beautiful animation and music. Plus, all the characters are well written and fun. (Fun fact: the person who sings the opening “Deal With” also voices Tsubaki.)

Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Suicide

#A7: To Your Eternity (Fumetsu no Anata e)

Summary:

An Orb, known only as It, is cast to Earth to be observed from afar. Capable of changing forms from beings whose reflections It captures, It first becomes a rock and then, due to the rising temperature, moss.

It does not move until one snowy day, a wolf at death’s door barely crosses by. When It takes the animal’s form, It attains awareness of its consciousness and starts to wander with an unclear destination in mind. Soon, It comes across the wolf’s master—a young boy waiting for his tribe to return from a paradise abundant with fish and fruit in the south. Although the boy is lonely, he still hopes those whom he holds dear in his memories have not forgotten him and that he will reunite with them one day.

The boy wants to explore new surroundings and decides to abandon his home with It to find the paradise using the traces his tribe left behind. However, with a heavily injured body and no sight of his elder comrades, what will become of the boy?

Propaganda:

I don’t think I’ve ever watched an anime that has meant so much. It’s/Fushi’s journey from being born as nothing and without emotions, to becoming a genuine, real person who loves and cries is so special to me. The constant war he’s in between being too human and being not human at all is written so well—for him to love so much it hurts, leading him to isolate himself for years on end, for him to want to make friends, to love, but too afraid of them leaving and eventually dying to meet anyone new. For him to get so detached from life and death and the cycle it perpetuates that he loses understanding of why human life is so special—why should he save people, if they will die anyway? Why should he save them, if he can just bring them back to life, if he can just become them? The constant cycle of him learning to love again, and learning to treasure life again, only to lose it once he’s experienced death in a new and agonizing way. It’s about love, and it’s about humanity. Always.

Trigger Warnings: Animal Cruelty/Death, Child Abuse, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Racism, Rape/Non-Con, Self-Harm, Suicide

All TW’s apply to the protagonists, except child abuse and the racism. The world itself has hints of racism/discrimination throughout the anime, and not directly towards the protagonist. As for the rape, an antagonist attempts to rape the protagonist. There is a ton of self harm (protagonist and side characters) and blood as there is a lot of wars also happening in the anime

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

[ephemeral--dreams]

Something Interesting. (4)

Dottore/Reader

Rating: T

Word count: 1112

Warnings: Dottore is his own warning, reader also starting to be deranged wow 

Notes: (Dottore voice) I can make you worse, but also better

( part 3 )

☆ ☾ ☆ ──────────────────

It's on a rare occasion when Dottore runs his tests on anyone else, because it is far more convenient to do it with you. When he does, it's usually a traitor, or someone who needs to be punished. Committing any sort of betrayal against the Fatui is a grave offense, after all. And Dottore's probably the worst one to deal out consequences. You know better than most exactly what he's capable of. 

Honestly, if it was someone innocent, even you would feel some sympathy. But considering that it's not, watching as he makes them scream and cry doesn't affect you all that much. You're more interested in him than the person he's working on. It's interesting, how detached he seems when he gets his hands on anyone but you. It reminds you of how he'd once been, back when you'd first come here. Clinical, chilly, cruel. Even like this you feel drawn to him. 

You like watching him as much as he likes watching you, it seems. 

It's not until a couple years in that you take a more active role in any of it. That you drift closer instead of staying back, that you assist him with his tools and parts and vials and whatever he's using on his victim. 

…Victim. It's an interesting word. You're often in this same position on the table, but you don't think of yourself that way.

It's a matter of context, you suppose.

Sometimes they think they can reason with you more than they can with Dottore. It's almost funny. As if you'd possibly let someone free from Dottore's clutches. No one ends up in this lab anymore unless they deserve to be here. Thus they deserve whatever happens to them. You have little love left for humanity and no interest in the pleadings of traitors. They won't find help from you.

No, you're more than content to stand by and take in Dottore from a perspective you rarely see him in. 

"You're a mess," You tell him, fingers wiping away the blood on the exposed part of his face. Not another thought is spared to the body dead lying next to you. 

"Perhaps. Yet you don't seem to mind," He smiles, lingering for a moment before shifting away. "I must clean up here. You're free to leave."

"...I'll stay until you're done."

"Do as you will."

☆

"Come on an errand with me."

It is an interesting request. You don't exactly… Leave the palace. Not that you couldn't. But what purpose do you have out there? Anything you want or need is provided here. If it wasn't here, Dottore would get it for you. He himself often spends most of his time in the lab, too. He utilizes his segments for the majority of things that require outside contact or resources, so it comes as even more of a surprise for him to ask this.

You weren't opposed to it, though. If he wanted you to accompany him…

"If you insist."

So you dig out your little-used coat, and allow him to drag you along as he goes about his business. And the next time he went out. And the next. 

There was always something bracing about the cold. Even though you'd grown up in Snezhnaya, it was so terribly icy here that there was no getting used to it, especially when you almost never left the heated interior of the palace. 

Long story short, it is a shock to your system. You would think having a pyro vision would make you run warm enough to fend off the chill, but that isn't the case.

Today's outing is a particularly long one. He's stopped at a few different places and had conversations you only half-listen in to. It doesn't matter if you pay attention, he'll probably discuss (ramble about) the details of it all later. What's important is that you're freezing. You wonder when he'll be done. 

Two hands reach out to cup your cheeks. You startle out of your thoughts, looking up at the culprit. He's doing that thing again, where he's careful and attentive in a way that has nothing to do with research. You still don't understand it. "Hm. I don't wish to deal with you dying from hypothermia today…"

You want to say that it doesn't matter, that you've already died from that very thing more than once, what's another time? But you're entirely too caught up in the intensity of his full attention on you.

"Y-you don't need to worry about that. I'm perfectly fine," If nothing else, your face is certainly heating up under his touch. Which doesn't escape his notice.

"If say we should test out alternative methods of warming you up, but we don't have time for that. Let us take a quick break indoors."

…You'd call that flirting if you didn't think it was just Dottore being Dottore.

☆

The cafe you enter is mostly empty. You take a table in the corner and let Dottore take care of things. Your hands wrap around the cup of tea. It's strikingly similar to…

"There seems to be something on your mind."

"...Mm. It just reminds me of when we met," What happened before the event, rather. All the awful things that led you to him. You don't think about it often anymore, but sitting here across from him like this… 

"Yes, what about it? In a reminiscent mood?" You can feel his gaze focused on you, despite his mask covering it. Dottore is more than perceptive enough to pick up on your moods by now. The only question is whether he intends to pry. "Tell me what the issue is."

Of course he's going to pry. Why wouldn't he? He wants to know everything. Always. "I shouldn't have to tell you I went through a lot out here. You know that much."

There's a long moment of pause between you. You sip your tea. This is not the sort of conversation the two of you have. You run from the past, and he focuses on the future. That's how it has always been. It is a topic that has never been broached, and his lack of response leaves you feeling unsettled.

Finally—

"I'm aware. It is irrelevant. None of that has any importance now that you're with me," He settles your concerns as easily as that, waving them away as if they no longer matter. And he is right. They don't. Nothing is the way it used to be, and it never will be again. You shouldn't waste time thinking about it. Being under his care should remove any problems you once had. Hasn't he proven that?

"...Maybe you're right."

"I'm always right. You should know that at this point, dear."

You kill off whatever is left of your most unpleasant thoughts, and instead allow yourself to be swept back into Dottore's pace. 

[mlleminouette]

So, I meditated a bit on how meeting Chay changed Kim on an emotional level, because I totally believe that their interactions in the series so far just prepare an actual and working relationship. 

Kim had to realize that his aloofness and dissociation, which he actively chose,  stopped working after Chay entered his life and that this happened because of him. Kim was not really present (literally and emotionally) in other people's life, being it his family or f.e. at university. He is portrayed as a guest, a mere spectator, always observing, evaluating but rarely engaging and even then, I think he reflects other people's ideas about him and plays these roles kind of actively so that he rarely has to give anything about his real thoughts or himself away. Maybe he's even proud of how well he manages it, how unbothered he is by everything and everyone, especially on an emotional level. 

His acquaintance and relationship with Chay however changes that in a fundamental sense. Although Chay totally initiates most of the development in their relationship, now Kim wants to participate and - at some point- feelings get involved and after that he starts to leap into action more and more. Rescuing and protecting Chay is primarily motivated by his own emotions, not logic or requirement (he could have let Kinn handle the situation). While with his family he is still able to distance himself, he fails to do this in regard to Chay whose openness, trust and genuineness undermine Kim's defenses rather quickly; in the end Porschay disarmed him more thoroughly than anyone else. And I question if Kim ever saw it coming or realized it before it was too late. In my opinion, he was actually a bit confused how he got himself so involved and that he found himself rapidly caring. He overestimated himself and his emotional detachment. But he also probably underestimated his need for a person who is willing to give him attention, compassion, trust and love, all aspects extremely lacking in his life. Those needs were unearthed by Chay and he is primarily the one who is capable of fulfilling them. 

[consistentsquash]

HP Fic Recs! Snapecase Sunday!

Check out Snapecase! The fest is still going on. Lots of Snape centric fics/art! I didn't get the time to read everything but I got some recs from my reading. Definitely check out the fest for yourself.

5 fav fics with 5 different vibes.

Candles Lit Against the Dark

Pairing - McGonagall/Grubbly Plank.

Length - 11000 words

Vibe - Feel good with a happy ending. BANTER!!!!

Author's summary - It's been a few months since Minerva's retirement, and she'd promised Wil a dinner out. Before she knows it, friends start turning up on her doorstep and then at the pub, not least among them a certain spy who came in from the cold.

Rec - READ THIS! The longest fic of the fest iirc. But also the best! My favorite fic of 2023 so far!! Don't miss this fic! I love literally everything about it. The prose, the really sharp banter, the characterizations, the dynamics of their relationships. A lot of times we get to see the postwar setting when stuff is really raw or when they sort of got over it. This fic has a really low stakes premise of a retirement party but the undercurrents of their history/war is super present. The writing has this really precise balance where it feels light but it is at the same time dealing with tons and tons of complicated PTSD and messy baggage. ALSO SNARRY! Technically background Snarry but not really. It's right in your face. McGonagall's face I mean! :D :D ALSO THE BANTER! Sorry but not sorry! This is an ALL CAPS SCREAMING fic. Some real Seinfeld moments with the sharp banter.

Vibe quote

Wil wasn't a smirker, but it was a near thing. "Not that our dear old Skunk isn't capable of riding a bucking broom into the nearest cloud all on his own, but I did put the wind up his bristles. The therapeutic effects of working with the herd get raised now and then when we're out on the hillside and Severus is in a receptive mood. Harry being one of our lad's personal Boggarts – not that that's ever been a secret – I thought it worth mentioning his recent distress. Divorce and all. Gave my opinion that somebody ought to nudge the lad into beneficial activity."

Rec note - the fic that made me late for work. No regrets.

Womb

Pairing - gen, Phineas POV

Length - 2900 words.

Vibe - Angst with a happy ending. GENDER!!!

Author's Summary - Phineas revisits the question of legacy.

Rec - a solid premise of Found Family with a twist like A Christmas Carol. Phineas thinks his legacy is over because Sirius is dead. But he starts to accept legacy isn't about blood and "adopts" Snape. I mean. Sort of. Technically he saves Snape. I mean. It's complicated! Read it read it read it!!!! OMG!!!! It's a beautiful and eerie fic with lots of unforgivable magic which you forgive anyway because the motive is love. Also lots of gender. Definitely be careful with this fic if you have some gender dysphoria. It has a lot of detach/remove and some really clever techniques to kind of abstract the harder stuff so it doesn't feel dysphoric but these things can be YMMV. Phineas POV! He is super hard to sympathize with because he's pretty much into the purity thing. But you can definitely see where he is coming from and why/how he changes. ALSO SNARRY PRESLASH??

Rec note - So this fic has some serious Giger vibes. Giger designed the chestburster Alien in the Alien franchise. A strange combo of gender imagery.

Vibe Quote

And out came bursting a stick-shaped, sour-shaped man, bawling as only a newborn could, naked as something sprung from the mother, with pigment smearing him in afterbirth.

Some Semblance of Family

Pairing - gen, Eileen POV

Length - 2200 words.

Vibe - Angst with Glass Onion vibes!

Author's Summary - Eileen returns to Prince House on familial business.

Rec - Hardcore Snape fam angst. Really brilliant/sharp Eileen characterization. Love the character study. Also really loved the world building in the fic! Shortfic but does a lot with the word count! It's going to break your heart.

Vibe quote

Eileen realised that her great uncle was right, that she was wrong, that she had allowed hope, as usual, to poison her, and with a bitter, eldritch shriek, she began unburdening herself of her own searing disappointment.

The Watched Pot

Genfic with Snape POV.

Length - 2100 words.

Vibe - Angst!

Author's Summary -In the aftermath, Severus has no plan other than a potion.

Rec - I don't want to spoil the fic because the suspense is a big part of this fic. It's a brilliant Snape POV fic with super sharp characterization of Eileen and her relationship with her son. Heartbreaking. But ofc it's Snape. That's his thing!

Vibe Quote

"It's an old wives' tale, you know," Eileen says. "What is?" "That a watched pot never boils. Eventually, with enough time and heat, everything boils."

It was Magic

Pairing - Tobias/Eileen

Length - 1100 words

Vibe - SCHEMING!

Author's Summary -Tobias and Eileen's wedding day is the result of a magical connection.

Rec - OMG! This fic! Tobias and Eileen are big little liars!! Lots of intrigue/mystery/complicated motives. But you also feel for them and also feel really scared for their future/Snape's future. Super sharp writing which keeps you guessing nonstop!

Vibe quote

It's a small wedding because neither Tobias nor Eileen have any family, at least, that's what they've told each other.