#he skipped to act 5 and understood nothing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

capuccinodoll · 4 months ago

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The boyfriend act, part 5: "The one with the red lights" Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!reader SERIES MASTERLIST

Chapter summary: Despite your reluctance, you find yourself at Santi’s house for dinner. But Frankie presses too hard, pulling things out of you that you’d rather keep buried—until all that’s left is the worst version of yourself. WC: 10.1k

A/N: Hope you enjoy this one 🤍 and don't forget to let me know what you think! I looove reading your comments <3 If you want to be in the tag list, let me know. Don't forget to follow capuccinodollupdates for notifications!

The white ceiling stretched above you, blank and unfeeling, while your mind filled in the emptiness with shapes that weren’t really there. Faces, maybe. Or memories, distorted at the edges. You knew you were indulging in unnecessary pessimism, but you let yourself sink into it anyway. Surely you were entitled to a day like this every once in a while—one where grief sat heavy on your chest and refused to move. Unfortunately, your timing couldn’t have been worse. Not that you had chosen it; no one ever does. You don’t get to decide when your heart shatters for the second time, or when the pieces that were already broken fracture further, splintering into something even smaller, even harder to hold.

The day before, Frankie had left without much ceremony, tossing out a casual see you tomorrow as he passed you. You hadn’t answered. You’d been too consumed, too wrapped up in your own head, and he hadn’t pressed you on it. Just walked out the door like it was any other day. After that, the ghost of him lingered in the space he’d occupied, his scent still woven into the fabric of the couch where he’d slept. You hated it. Hated that it made your stomach twist, that it pulled you toward something you didn’t want to name. You forced yourself upright, inhaling sharply as if that could steady you.

Because, really, what was it about him? What had changed? He’d always made you uneasy—before, because you were simply too different, two puzzle pieces that would never click together. And now… now it was something else. Something worse. It had to do with the way he looked at you, the way he seemed to understand exactly what was happening inside your head without you having to say a word. As if he could see right through you, past all the sharp edges you put up to keep people from doing exactly that. And that wasn’t good. That wasn’t good at all. Because the last person you wanted to be understood by was Francisco. The person who irritated you most, who had always known exactly how to push your buttons. And now, somehow, he had figured out where your soft spots were too.

And after he left, you did your best to pull yourself together. You pushed yourself up from the couch, stretching limbs that felt heavier than they should, and searched for something to fill the space. A book, a movie—something to quiet the restless ache in your chest. But nothing worked. The feeling stayed, creeping up the way it always did, slow and insidious, like ink bleeding through paper. A dull, familiar ache, resurfacing in waves, catching you off guard just when you thought you’d distracted yourself enough to forget.

Eventually, you gave up. Skipped dinner, still drained from friday’s birthday and the weight of everything you were carrying. You crawled into bed early, exhaustion settling into your bones, hoping—without much conviction—that sleep would make things better. That maybe sunday would arrive with something softer, something easier to hold.

And now, it was sunday, and you had promised yourself—firmly, resolutely—that you wouldn’t do this again. That you wouldn’t let yourself spiral down this particular rabbit hole. But somehow, your phone was already in your hand, your thumb moving over the screen with quiet urgency, scanning for details, for scraps of information, anything that might offer some insight into this world that was no longer yours. That had never truly been yours to begin with.

Harry.

Harry looked happy, the kind of happiness that came easily to people who knew exactly where they were going. His profile was filled with snapshots of motion, of departure, of a life that never stayed still—deep blue lakes, endless seas, rivers cutting through valleys, mountains rising against wide open skies. He had always loved to travel. He had asked you to go with him, more than once, throwing out invitations like they were simple, effortless things. But you had always said no. Too much to do. The bookstore, your finances, some minor health concern—a cold, a flu, a vague sense of exhaustion that never seemed to lift.

Now, Harry traveled with Lisa. They stood together in front of massive cliffs, on balconies bathed in golden light. She fit so easily into the spaces you never stepped into, the spaces you had let slip through your fingers. In one photo, a caption read:

"I would recognize you in the dark. Always you. There I belong."

The words blurred almost instantly. Your vision swam, the sting of tears creeping in before you could stop them. You set the phone down beside you, face down on the mattress, as if that could somehow soften the blow. Then you pulled the covers over your head, curling into yourself, as if hiding could protect you from any of this. As if it could make any of it hurt less.

Then your phone vibrated, the screen lighting up with a new notification.

Santi: Be here at seven. I got that cake you’re obsessed with, so don’t even think about bailing.

A grimace—something between a smirk and a scowl—tugged at the corner of your mouth as your fingers hovered over the keyboard. Then you typed:

You: Eat it yourself.

Silence. Then the three little dots appeared, pulsing like a tiny, judgmental heartbeat.

You let out a sharp exhale, tilting your head back against the pillow.

Santi: No

Santi: Don’t make me come drag you here

Santi: Consider yourself warned

His reply came almost instantly. He’d been expecting this.

You: I look terrible dude I’ll see you another day

You: Tell Yov I’m sorry

Santi: Too late, she’s already setting everything up

You shut your eyes and pressed the phone against your chest, as if that might somehow shield you from the conversation happening in real time.

You: I’m serious

You locked your phone and let it drop onto the bed beside you, exhaling sharply as you rolled onto your side. Your hands tucked under your cheek, your eyes shut, as if squeezing them closed hard enough might make everything disappear.

Santi: And so am I

Santi: Get. Out. Of. Bed.

Now what? Were you really supposed to drag yourself to Santi’s house and pretend everything was fine? Sit there, smiling, making small talk, acting like you weren’t unraveling from the inside out? And worse—look Frankie in the eye, knowing that just yesterday he had been prying into the most private corners of your mind?

And how much had he read, exactly?

Not that it mattered. Not in the sense that would be humiliating. Because Frankie wasn’t someone you were interested in impressing. If anything, he was the last person whose opinion you gave a damn about. You had spent years not caring what he thought of you, what he assumed about you, what conclusions he might have drawn from the glimpses he caught of your life.

But then again.

You weren’t stupid. You knew exactly what kind of man he was—sharp, perceptive, the kind who could take something small, something insignificant, and wield it like a weapon if he wanted to. He had the power to tear you apart if he ever felt like it.

And the truth was, you’d already embarrassed yourself enough.

The cab rolled away behind you, tires humming against the pavement, as you climbed the steps to Santi’s porch. You had wanted to look decent—you had tried. A long, scalding shower, ages spent drying and combing your hair, a careful hand smoothing makeup over tired skin. Just enough to bring some life back into your face, to soften the edges of the bruises that still clung stubbornly to your lips. The swelling had gone down, but the mark was still there, a smear of purple at the curve of your mouth. A fresh bruise was blooming just above your upper lip, darker now, more noticeable.

The summer dress you’d chosen hit just above your knees. Light, effortless. You hoped it would be enough to make you look put-together. Unbothered. As if there was nothing clawing at your insides, nothing unsettled under your skin.

Behind you, the sound of a car door shutting made your breath hitch. You knew before you turned. Of course you did.

You pressed the doorbell, inhaling through your nose, exhaling slow. Behind you, footsteps. Measured. Unhurried. Then, close—too close—you felt him at your back.

“You gave me a black eye,” Frankie said, his voice easy, almost conversational. He stepped up beside you, watching you the way someone watches an oncoming storm—half amused, half waiting to see how bad it’ll get.

From inside, Santi’s voice called, distant over the low thrum of music. “Coming!”

You gave in, looking at Frankie. Couldn’t help yourself. And yes, there it was—proof of your handiwork. The deep violet shadow blooming under his eye, the cut along the bridge of his nose, healing but still raw. No more swelling, but unmistakable evidence that, at some point, your phone had connected with his face.

You smiled, slow and sharp.

“Hi, Francisco,” you said, saccharine-sweet. “Nice to see you. How are you? Do people not greet each other anymore?”

He huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head.

“You and I are way past formalities, don’t you think?”

Before you could fire back, the door swung open.

Santi’s eyes flicked between the two of you, amusement quickly giving way to confusion.

“What the—” His brows drew together. “What the fuck happened to you two? Are you okay?”

You stepped inside, the familiar warmth of the house wrapping around you as you leaned in to press a kiss to Santi’s cheek, neatly sidestepping his question. The air smelled incredible and that, more than whatever interrogation he was preparing, held your attention.

Behind you, Frankie pulled Santi into a brief hug, murmuring something low enough that you couldn’t quite catch it. Not that you cared. Whatever was said between them didn’t concern you.

“Aren’t you going to tell me what happened?” Santi asked again, falling into step beside you as you made your way toward the kitchen.

Before you could answer, Yovanna appeared at the end of the hallway, her bright, welcoming smile instantly faltering when she caught sight of you. Her gaze flicked from your face to Frankie’s, concern replacing confusion.

“What the hell happened?”

You wrapped her in a hug, squeezing tight. Behind you, Frankie greeted her too, though his hug was more polite, restrained, as if wary of how much space he was allowed to take up here. Yovanna pulled back just enough to get another look at him, her expression shifting toward something almost amused.

“Damn,” she said, tilting her head. “You got the worst of it, huh?”

“Yeah, we got into a fight,” you lied breezily, propping yourself against the wall.

Santi shot you a look, eyebrows knitting together.

“With some drunks,” you elaborated. “Not that it means much, considering we were drunk too. Weren’t we, Francisco?”

Frankie turned his head toward you, one eyebrow raised, his hands settling on his hips like he was about to demand an explanation for whatever this was. His face was all curiosity and mild disbelief.

“I—”

“It was after the wedding,” you steamrolled on. “At a gas station. God, you should’ve seen us, it was ridiculous—”

“Oh, shut up,” Santi cut in, waving a dismissive hand.

Frankie bit back a laugh, tipping his head back slightly.

“Actually,” he said, as if suddenly feeling generous with the truth, “she hit me.”

Santi and Yovanna blinked at him.

“Right here,” he added, gesturing in a small circle beneath his bruised eye.

You let out an incredulous scoff, crossing your arms.

“I was naked,” you announced, tone scandalized, “and this pervert was just standing in my living room when he’d told me the night before that he was leaving.”

Santi looked between the two of you, his exasperation deepening.

“Stop it,” Frankie muttered, shaking his head.

“No, Santi should know,” you pressed on. “And while we’re at it, what’s with the whole going through my stuff thing? I swear to God, I’m sure—”

“Okay, enough,” Santi interrupted, slashing his hand through the air like a referee calling time-out. Yovanna, beside him, was practically vibrating with amusement.

“I’m hungry,” Santi continued, voice firm. “And you’re already late. Save the drama for later.”

An hour later, your plate sat in front of you, half-eaten, your fingers curled around the stem of a wine glass. The conversation had drifted, as it inevitably would, to your brother’s wedding. Across the table, Yovanna was talking animatedly about the preparations, her hands moving as she spoke, while Santi just stared at her like she’d personally hung the moon. He had that ridiculous, soft expression—the one that made you roll your eyes but also kind of want to cry because, well, love like that wasn’t exactly common.

Beside you, Frankie was quiet, his own glass in his hand, his plate already cleared. He wasn’t looking at you, but you could feel him there, as much a presence as the wine in your bloodstream.

“We were lucky we didn’t completely lose our minds,” Yovanna was saying, shooting a knowing glance at Santi, who nodded in agreement. “You know what they say—wedding planning is a trial for a couple. If you can’t survive that…” She shook her head, lips pressing together in mock seriousness.

“That’s true,” Santi agreed, his gaze lingering on her in a way that made you want to gag.

“Uh-huh,” Yovanna hummed, her eyes flicking from her fiancé to you and Frankie. Her expression shifted, just slightly, her amusement sharpening. “But, I mean, parties in general can be… intense. And I think you two might know something about that by now, don’t you?”

A laugh bubbled out of you before you could stop it. “I was wondering how long it would take for someone to bring it up.”

Yovanna just lifted a shoulder, clearly entertained. “Can you blame us?”

“No, she can't,” Santi chimed in. “And trust me, I have so many questions. Number one—what the fuck happened to your faces?”

“She hit me,” Frankie said immediately, lifting a shoulder like it was no big deal.

Santi rolled his eyes. “Come on, I’m serious.”

“So am I.” Frankie’s grin widened. “She thought I was an intruder or something and threw her phone at my face.”

Santi turned to you, eyebrows raised in pure curiosity. Yovanna, beside him, stayed quiet, her gaze bouncing between the three of you like she was watching an increasingly ridiculous play unfold.

You exhaled, shifting in your seat, throwing Frankie a glare. “Okay, let me explain this properly.”

Frankie made a gesture like please, go ahead.

“So, after the wedding, we went to my place, and we were… kind of drunk—”

Santi raised a hand, cutting you off. “You both went to your place?”

You narrowed your eyes. “Yes, and then I fell out of the car, which is why my mouth is messed up. Frankie helped me inside, and then I went to sleep—”

“You fell?”

You huffed. “Yeah. He gave me slippers that were way too big, and when I stepped out of the Uber, I tripped.”

Santi looked between you and Frankie, biting back a smile. “Well, you were also drunk, right? That might’ve been a factor.”

You rolled your eyes, and beside you, Frankie let out a small, knowing huff.

“She doesn’t look where she’s walking,” he said, like he had just uncovered some deep truth about you. “She just moves and expects the world to accommodate her, her eyes always on the clouds. I noticed that last night. That’s why she fell, not the slippers.”

You turned your head slowly, squinting at him. “Francisco. If I hadn’t been wearing those slippers, I wouldn’t have tripped.”

Frankie exhaled dramatically. “Oh, I’m sorry for trying to help with the fact that your feet were literally almost bleeding from your shoes. Would you have preferred that? Just say ‘thank you’ and move on.”

“No.”

“Jesus Christ,” Yovanna muttered under her breath, shooting a glance at Santi, who just shook his head, trying—and failing—not to laugh.

You sighed and turned back to them. “Anyway. I fell, got hurt, my dress was ruined, so we went upstairs, Frankie helped me clean up, and then he said he was going to leave—”

“I was going to leave,” Frankie interjected. “But I fell asleep on the couch before I could even order an Uber.”

“Right. Anyway, the next morning, I woke up, went to shower, and when I got out, I couldn’t find my phone. So I went to the living room, and there it was. And I was naked—”

“She had a towel on,” Frankie groaned, rubbing his temple.

“Naked,” you repeated stubbornly, “and suddenly someone speaks behind me, and obviously I panicked! What was I supposed to do? I didn’t think, I just reacted, and my phone happened to be in my hand, so I threw it.”

Silence.

And then: “Well, I get it,” Yovanna said, tilting her head like she was weighing the situation. “You freaked out.”

“Of course I freaked out! But he doesn’t get it.”

“No, no, no, no,” Frankie cut in, shaking his head, holding up a hand like he could physically block the accusation. “I never said I didn’t get it. Obviously, I do. But the way you’re telling it makes it sound like I did it on purpose, like I was out to terrify you.”

“And how do I know you weren’t?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

Santiago snorted. “Okay, this is getting weird,” he said, rubbing his temple, amusement flickering in his expression. “Can we move on? I just want to hear about the party. Helena called me yesterday.”

Frankie straightened. “What? What did she say?”

You glanced at him, but he was already looking at your brother, his posture suddenly tense, like he was bracing for impact. His eyes were curious but edged with something else too. Concern.

“She sounded... happy. Surprised, mostly,” Santi said, dragging out the words for effect. “Asked a bunch of questions—what I thought, how I found out, if I saw it coming. A lot of questions, actually. Oh, and she also said she’s thrilled for me. That I have a beautiful, lovely sister.” He shot you a look, grinning. “And, well, I can’t lie. I may have gotten a little carried away. Told her I was also delighted about this whole ‘union made in heaven’ situation. And Frankie, man, you were already my brother before, but now… now it’s official. We are so much more.”

“Oh my God, Santi,” you groaned, throwing your head back. “You’re messing with us, aren’t you?”

Yovanna burst out laughing, lightly smacking your brother’s arm as he gave her a knowing smile.

Beside you, Frankie flushed. A deep, irritated pink creeping up his neck as he ran a hand over it—a nervous habit you’d noticed, one he did when he was overwhelmed.

“Of course not,” Santi said, his grin widening. “If you two get to have fun, why can’t I?”

“Fun?” Frankie scoffed, straightening up. “You think this is fun? We’ve been seeing each other for two days, and we’ve already collected enough bruises and near-death experiences to last a lifetime. That’s plenty.” So exaggerated.

Santiago just shrugged, barely suppressing a laugh at the absolute fury on his best friend’s face.

“Yeah. You’re matching.”

“Oh, cut it out, let them be,” Yovanna said, rolling her eyes.

“Well, anyway,” Santi said, his voice easy, casual, like he wasn’t dropping the weight of someone else’s curiosity into the conversation. “Helena asked about you guys. Wanted my opinion. I told her you were fine, that you—” he glanced at Frankie, leveling him with a look—“were doing well. That she didn’t need to worry, and that I’d come visit her soon.”

Frankie exhaled, sharp and short. “Good. Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “I mean it. Even if you’re enjoying this way too much.”

Santi scoffed. “No worries. You know I wouldn’t screw with you about this.” He leaned back, tilting his glass slightly in his hand. “Now, are you gonna tell me how the party went?”

Yovanna’s lips curled at the edges, her eyes gleaming with something decidedly un-serious. “Did you guys kiss?”

The question landed between you and Frankie like a slow-falling coin. You turned your head toward him, almost on instinct, and he was already looking at you, his expression caught somewhere between apprehension and amusement. His face was still faintly flushed, like the conversation had warmed the room a degree too much.

Santi’s gaze flickered between the two of you, and his expression sharpened. “You better not be method acting with my sister.”

Frankie’s mouth twitched into something resembling a smile. “Never. It’s platonic between us, isn’t it?”

“Of course,” you said smoothly, returning the smile. “I’d call it the opposite of method acting, really. This is professionalism at its peak.”

Santi raised his eyebrows, his signature I’m-about-to-ruin-your-day expression settling in. “Yeah, well, I wouldn’t call a situation involving towels and black eyes professional, but hey, who am I to judge?”

You groaned, rolling your eyes as Santi took a slow sip of his wine, barely suppressing a grin.

Yovanna, undeterred, steered the conversation back. “So? The party?”

This time, you forced yourself to give a proper answer. Frankie took the lead, his voice steady as he laid out the sequence of events with his usual matter-of-fact efficiency. You filled in the gaps, adding details here and there, but skirting around certain parts—the encounter with Frankie’s cousin, the kisses that followed. Frankie didn’t mention them either. You weren’t sure if that was a conscious decision or if he simply preferred to pretend they hadn’t happened. Either way, it felt like an unspoken agreement, and you weren’t going to be the one to break it.

From an outside perspective, everything had gone well. No disasters, no humiliating slip-ups. Just two people executing a plan. Yovanna seemed delighted by the entire ordeal, laughing at all the right moments, nudging you when Frankie said something particularly dry or sarcastic. Even your brother, despite his usual talent for being infuriating, had to admit you’d done a good job. In fact, too good.

“Helena was a little too excited when I talked to her,” Santi admitted eventually, his brow furrowing like the realization had only just settled in. He leaned back in his chair, swirling the last bit of wine in his glass. Then, after a pause, he added, “How exactly are you two planning to break up?”

There was a beat of silence. You glanced at Frankie, and he exhaled through his nose, shifting in his seat.

“We could say it just… didn’t work out,” he offered, his voice slow, careful. “Or that the feeling just faded.”

It was an answer, technically. But not the right one. Because the issue wasn’t how to break up—it was what was going to happen after that.

What was going to happen when Helena found out about the breakup, when the excitement wore off and disappointment took its place? Had either of you even considered that?

The questions started to wear on you, pressing down like a weight you hadn’t noticed until now.

You needed air. You stood up, murmuring something about stretching your legs, and Yovanna followed you outside.

The backyard was dimly lit, the air thick with the scent of warm grass and something faintly floral. Yovanna lit a cigarette, exhaling slowly as she leaned against the railing. You stood beside her, arms crossed, letting the quiet settle between you.

For a while, the conversation stayed light—frivolous even. You talked about inconsequential things, things that had nothing to do with your fake relationship or her wedding or anything remotely demanding. It was a relief, an escape, and you let yourself sink into it.

But just as you were about to suggest going back inside, she stopped you with a gentle nudge of her shoulder.

“Hey,” she said, turning to face you more fully. “You okay tonight? You seem a little off.”

You sighed, tilting your head back to look at the sky. The stars were faint, barely visible against the city glow. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just tired. This whole thing is fun, I guess, but exhausting.”

She nodded like she understood, like she’d already known that was what you’d say.

“Are you guys going to Harry’s wedding?”

“I don’t think so,” you admitted, shifting your weight against the wall by the back door. “To be honest, things get kind of chaotic when I’m around Francisco, and I don’t know if I want to put myself through that again.”

Yovanna exhaled another slow drag of smoke. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” You hesitated, searching for the right words. “It’s just... we shouldn’t be around each other. It’s not good for either of us.”

She hummed, unconvinced. “I don’t think that’s true. I think you two are fun. And I think you should admit that you like the chaos a little. You like the fighting. The drama. The making scenes.” She glanced at you knowingly. “I have eyes. I can tell.”

You snorted. “Yeah, maybe. Sometimes. The rest of the time? He just makes me feel bad. Really bad. It’s fun until he says something horrible or pushes the wrong button, and then I want to kill him.”

Yovanna gave you a long, thoughtful look. “What happened between you two? I’ve asked Santi, but he never has a real answer.”

“Nothing,” you said automatically, the lie slipping out before you had time to reconsider it. You thought about the first thing Frankie ever said about you, the way it had stung in a place you hadn’t known was raw. “We’re just not compatible. That’s all.”

Yovanna raised an eyebrow, waiting for more.

“You and Santi, for example,” you continued, “you just work. It’s easy, it’s natural. You get along.” You paused. “Frankie and I are the same, but the opposite. We repel each other. It’s like we were designed to be at odds.”

Yovanna tilted her head, eyes sparking with something suspiciously amused. “That’s kind of romantic.”

You groaned. “Oh, shut up.”

Time started moving faster once you were back inside. Conversations drifted toward things you didn’t care about, but you let them happen around you, nodding occasionally, offering a well-timed laugh when necessary. Santi was in a good mood—you could tell by the way he gestured when he spoke, the relaxed slouch of his shoulders, the way his voice lifted at the end of sentences like everything was lighter than usual. He was happy. And that pleased you.

Because he deserved it.

The girl, the house, the family, the quiet sense of certainty about his life. He deserved all of it.

But inevitably, like clockwork, the moment you found yourself comfortable on the couch, your thoughts took a familiar turn. The same restless tide pulling you under. You thought about earlier in the night, lying in bed, scrolling mindlessly until you landed on pictures you hadn’t meant to see—your ex, his fiancée. Smiling, glowing, happy. Their future stretched out in front of them like a neatly paved road, no cracks in sight.

And then—

“So how are you getting home?” Frankie’s voice broke through your thoughts, low and secretive, like a question meant just for you. You blinked, turning slightly to find him beside you, arms folded, his body angled toward yours. His face was close—too close.

You glanced around. Santi and Yovanna were nowhere to be seen.

“They’re in the kitchen,” Frankie said, reading your mind. “What are you thinking about now?”

You hesitated. Held his gaze for a second too long before looking away.

“I’m thinking,” you started, pausing as you searched for an easy answer. “I’m thinking I want to go to sleep.”

Frankie made a quiet sound in his throat, unconvinced. “I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t believe that I’m sleepy?” You lifted an eyebrow, trying for something light. “I drank three glasses of wine.”

“No,” he said, watching you too closely. “I don’t believe that’s what you’re really thinking.”

You exhaled, tilting your head. “And what do you think I’m thinking, then?”

He smirked slightly. “Something self-destructive, probably. I can see it in your crazy eyes.”

You huffed out a laugh, nudging his shoulder. “I don’t have crazy eyes.”

Frankie just smiled, slow and knowing.

“But you are thinking self-destructive things,” he pressed. “Right?”

“Why?” You leaned in slightly, matching his tone. “Are you enjoying it?”

His smirk faltered just a little, barely enough to notice. His brows pulled together, the amusement in his face dimming.

“Not at all,” he murmured. “What kind of fake boyfriend would I be?”

You let out a short laugh, crossing your arms. “I can’t wait to break up with you.”

He arched an eyebrow, interest flickering behind his eyes. “Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” you nodded, your voice taking on an exaggerated lilt. “I’m going to prance around like Nicole Kidman in that photo.” You threw your arms in the air in a triumphant gesture.

Frankie huffed out a laugh. “So what are we doing about custody?” he asked, shifting to face you more fully. “I want Santi during the week.”

You scoffed. “No chance. I get the weeks. You can have him on weekends.”

“That’s not going to work for me.”

“I’ll have my lawyer contact you, Francisco.” You turned your face away, lifting your chin dramatically. “This is not the place or the time.”

Frankie leaned in again, his voice conspiratorial. “You always say that,” he whispered. “You’re always so busy when I want to talk about the important things.”

You bit your lip, suppressing a laugh.

“First you take my dignity,” he continued, “and now Santiago. What’s next, Darcy?”

You turned to him, eyes wide. “Excuse me? That’s my son. Don’t confuse things.”

Frankie gasped, clutching his chest theatrically. “But he loves me.”

“He’s just a kid, he doesn’t know what he wants.” You waved a dismissive hand. “You bribed him, that’s all. He’s not yours.”

Frankie straightened, looking properly wounded. “I don’t care that I’m not his biological father,” he declared. “I love him—”

“What the hell are you guys talking about now?”

Santi’s voice cut through the air like a dull blade, rough with exhaustion but tinged with something closer to amusement than actual curiosity. He stood at the end of the hall, watching you and Frankie from beneath slightly furrowed brows. In his hands, he held two Tupperware containers, their lids sealed shut like he was offering contraband instead of home-cooked leftovers.

You straightened your posture, turning to face him with complete and utter seriousness.

“I’m sorry but this is private.” You shook your head solemnly.

Beside you, Frankie stifled a laugh, turning his face slightly like that might somehow disguise it.

Santi rolled his eyes, moving toward you with a slow, unimpressed gait.

“Sure. Well,” he said, setting the Tupperware down on the coffee table with an air of finality. “We made these for you.”

You reached for one immediately, lifting it to your nose and inhaling dramatically.

“I love you,” you murmured, then added, with more fervor, “I love you.”

Santi smirked, shaking his head. Before he could respond, Yovanna appeared at the end of the hall, her presence as effortless as ever. She moved toward the couch and perched herself on the armrest beside you, tucking her legs beneath her.

“Are you taking an Uber, honey?” she asked, her voice soft and unbothered.

“Yeah, I was just about to—”

“I’ll drive you,” Frankie interrupted, already getting to his feet. He grabbed his own Tupperware with the same efficiency as someone collecting evidence.

You narrowed your eyes.

“What macabre plan do you have, Francisco?” You stood, crossing your arms. “Get rid of me so you can have Mr. Darcy all to yourself? It’s not going to work.”

Frankie ignored you, patting his pockets, searching for his car keys with the quiet urgency of someone trying to make a smooth exit. He found them and then—casually, effortlessly—reached out to clap Santi on the shoulder as he passed him in the doorway, like they were in some kind of silent agreement.

You watched them step outside, Frankie’s posture relaxed, Santi following with the sluggish reluctance of someone who had just endured an entire evening of unnecessary theatrics.

You turned to Yovanna, hoping for an ally. Instead, she just lifted her shoulders, gave you a half-hearted grimace that barely lasted a second before shifting into a knowing smile.

“I think your car is waiting for you,” she said after a beat, nodding toward the door where Santi and Frankie had already disappeared outside.

With no real choice in the matter, you stepped outside too, the night air cool against your skin. Your brother and Frankie were by the car, standing close, heads tilted toward each other in conversation. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but whatever it was, they were both engaged—gesturing, murmuring, nodding. The way Frankie’s brow furrowed and Santi rubbed at his jaw made it look like something actually interesting. Your curiosity sparked, but before you could linger too long, Yovanna’s voice cut in beside you.

“Okay,” she said, nudging you lightly with her elbow. “Don’t take too long to visit again, alright?”

You turned to her, nodding. “Of course not. Are you free this coming week?”

“For you? Always.”

You smiled, warmth bubbling in your chest. “Good, let’s get coffee.”

“Or a drink,” she amended, sighing dramatically. “I need it.”

You laughed, shifting your bag in your shoulder and the Tupperware in your arms to hug her, the container pressing awkwardly between your bodies. She smelled like perfume and warmth and something familiar.

When you pulled away, you started toward the car with her, trying—subtly—to catch fragments of whatever Santi and Frankie were talking about. It was something about Will and a car he’d just bought. Frankie was in the middle of saying something about the clutch, his voice low and even, when he abruptly stopped mid-sentence and turned to you.

“Ready?”

The word felt heavier than it should have, settling between your ribs. You glanced at your brother, mouth parting slightly, not sure what answer you were searching for. Yes?

Santi didn’t wait for you to say anything. He stepped forward, wrapped his arms around you, kissed your cheek. His warmth was familiar, grounding, the kind of comfort you’d had your entire life.

“Take care of yourself,” he murmured near your temple. “I’ll come see you in the week.”

You nodded against his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

When you pulled away, Frankie was already holding the passenger door open for you. That threw you off for a second. He wasn’t usually this polite. You hesitated, glancing at him, but he just raised an eyebrow like, What? Get in.

So you did.

You waved to Yovanna as you settled into the seat, and she smiled, giving you a little salute in return before stepping back toward the house.

Then, with a quiet thunk, Frankie shut the door.

For a couple of strange, suspended seconds, you were alone in the silence of the car, the interior dimly lit by the soft glow of the dashboard. You bit the inside of your cheek and carefully dropped your Tupperware in the backseat, watching as Frankie rounded the hood, slipping into the driver’s seat with an ease that made your stomach feel unsteady.

He turned the key. The engine hummed to life, the speakers crackling softly before Red light by The Strokes filtered through the space.

You rolled down the window slightly, letting the night air in, watching the house disappear as he pulled onto the road.

“So, how’s that list of yours coming along?” Frankie asked abruptly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You turned your head slightly, eyeing him.

“Are you asking if I’ve made any progress? I doubt it. In the last twenty-four hours, I haven’t gone clubbing, I haven’t camped in the woods, and I definitely haven’t gone skinny dipping. If that’s what you were hoping for.”

He hummed, hands steady on the wheel. “Well, you could cross off ‘kicking someone’s ass,’ if you count giving me a black eye.”

You exhaled sharply, unimpressed. “That was an accident. Get over it.”

“But are you actually planning on kicking someone’s ass?” He glanced at you, curious now. “How exactly are you planning to do that?”

“I didn’t say ‘kicking.’ I wrote ‘learn to.’ As in, learn to defend myself.” You folded your arms across your chest. “Were you even paying attention when you were spying on my diary?”

Frankie snorted. “Spying?”

“You barely even listen to me anymore,” you said, feigning exasperation. “We should break up.”

His laugh caught in his throat, rough and amused. “Nice try. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“I could set you up with someone else. A real girlfriend.” You straightened, only half-joking. “I actually know a couple of women you might like.”

“I told you—I’m not dating anyone,” he said, glancing at you like he was waiting for you to drop it. “Who are you now, my mother? I’m not going on one more date. With anyone.”

You smirked. “I could make you a Tinder profile. Craft it to perfection. I bet I could make you a success story.”

He shook his head, lips twitching toward a smile. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not? It’d be fun,” you insisted, already forming a mental plan. Good photos. A witty but slightly mysterious bio. He was a pilot, for God’s sake—women ate that up, didn’t they?

“I tried it once,” he admitted, like he regretted saying it the second the words left his mouth.

You gasped, delighted. “No way. You were one of those guys, weren’t you? The ones who post a group photo, making women guess which one they’re supposed to be interested in.”

He shot you a look. “Sounds like you have some experience with that.”

“I bet you had a picture holding a giant fish,” you said, grinning wider as he made a face that all but confirmed it. “Jesus, Frankie. That’s typical.”

He exhaled, shaking his head. “You know, if you have so many opinions on dating apps, why don’t you make yourself a profile? I really think you could use the 'going out' thing.”

You rolled your eyes and turned toward the window, arms crossed. “What makes you think I need it?”

Frankie hesitated. You could see it in the way his fingers flexed against the steering wheel, like he was trying to decide if this was an argument worth having.

“Well,” he said carefully. “If I’m being honest—”

“Don’t say it,” you cut in, raising a hand between you. “I have a faint idea of what you’re about to tell me, and trust me, I already know. So spare me the speech. I’m not in the mood to fight with you tonight.”

“Why? What's wrong?”

Frankie eased the car to a stop at the red light, using the pause as an opportunity to look at you—really look at you. His brows pulled together, the sharpness of his gaze pressing against your skin. “And you don’t actually know what I was going to say.”

You let out a breath, short and sharp.

“Nothing. Nothing's wrong.” You could hear the irritation threading through your own voice, but you didn’t bother softening it. “And yes, Francisco, I do know what you were going to say.”

“Is this about Harry?”

You let out a dry, humorless laugh, your hands slapping down against your thighs. Of course. Of course, he had to ask. He couldn’t just drive like before, couldn’t just let the silence stretch between you like a neutral space. When he’d come to pick you up in Dallas, the air had been thick with unsaid things, but at least he’d let you sit with them. Now, though—now he was prodding, poking, pressing in on a bruise that hadn’t even begun to heal.

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t care,” he said, too quickly. “I’m just asking why—”

“What do you want me to say?” you cut in, turning toward him, exasperation spilling out of you. “Apparently, you already know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His tone was sharp now, defensive. “What are you talking about?”

You exhaled heavily, shaking your head.

“I hate it when you do that.” You turned your face toward the window, resting your chin in your palm, elbow wedged against the car door.

Frankie didn’t ask again. He just sat there, hands flexing against the wheel, his knee bouncing the slightest bit. But you could feel it, the weight of his attention, the questions hanging in the air between you. He was waiting for you to give in. To spill something you didn’t want to. And it bothered him—you could tell. The uncertainty, the not-knowing.

But in the end, he didn’t need to say anything. Because the way he looked at you, the way his eyes kept flicking toward your face, said enough. You knew exactly what he was thinking.

And when you turned back to him, catching the way his jaw tensed, something in your chest tightened.

Because he wasn’t going to let it go.

He wasn’t just going to drive you home, drop you off, and pretend none of this had happened. No, he was going to sit with it, turn it over, keep pulling at the thread until it unraveled completely. He was going to ask and ask and ask until he got the version of the truth he wanted. And the worst part was, he’d disguise it as concern—like this was about you, when really, it was about something else. Something that would probably hurt.

“I hate it when you act like this,” you said finally, voice quieter now, but no less pointed. Your eyes glowed in the reflection of the windshield, catching the red of the traffic light. “Like you’re above it all. Like you don’t already know I feel like shit about Harry. But you ask anyway, just to make me say it out loud.”

“That wasn’t my intention,” he said, softer now, shifting slightly in his seat. His right hand twitched off the steering wheel, hovering like he wanted to reach for you. But then, at the last second, he pulled back, curling his fingers into a fist before dropping his hand to his thigh. Like he’d thought better of it.

“You don’t act like it,” you said, your voice unsteady, throat tight. “You act like someone who enjoys figuring out my weak spots just so you can shove them in my face at the worst possible moment.” You swallowed hard, staring ahead. “Can you just take me home?”

Frankie’s jaw tensed, his hands gripping the wheel. The green light flickered on, casting a dull glow over the inside of the car. He didn’t hit the gas right away, just exhaled through his nose, long and frustrated.

“I was supposed to call a car,” you continued, your voice quieter now. “Is that why you insisted on driving me home yourself? So you could dig around in my life a little more?”

“No, I—” He cut himself off, shaking his head, eyes locked on the road as he finally pressed the gas.

Silence stretched between you.

A few blocks passed before he spoke again, voice tight.

“I know you’re upset about the wedding.” His fingers flexed over the wheel, his knuckles pale. “But I’m not going to assume things unless you actually tell me.”

You scoffed under your breath, gaze fixed on the window, on the streetlights smearing past. “Yeah. Sure.”

Home wasn’t far now.

“I don’t like this,” you said after a moment.

Frankie glanced at you. “What?”

“This.” You gestured between you, your expression hardening. “Everything was better when we didn’t talk. When we just ignored each other and kept our distance.”

“I think the same thing,” he said immediately, no hesitation. He turned his head just slightly, just enough to look at you before shifting his eyes back to the road. “Because talking to you is so hard all the fucking time. You know that?”

You blinked, taken aback. It was such a strange thing to hear, like he’d just told you the sky had turned green.

“When in your life have you ever tried to talk to me, Francisco?”

“Yesterday. Now. Probably sometime friday,” he muttered, clicking his tongue in irritation, shaking his head like he hated that he was even engaging in this conversation.

Another red light.

The street was empty, quiet. The glow of the signal reflected off the pavement, casting red against the buildings you knew so well—the café on the corner, the park where you went on morning walks. Your house was just a few blocks away.

You turned in your seat, facing him directly. The car’s dim interior light barely caught the sheen in your eyes, the warmth in your flushed cheeks.

“That’s not how this works,” you said, your voice quieter now, but no less sharp. “You can’t treat me like shit for years and then expect me to just—what? Open up to you? Tell you about the worst parts of my life? We’re not friends, Frankie.”

“Of course not,” he shot back. “But I’ve seen you get small today. Yesterday too.” His voice wavered slightly, but not enough to make him sound soft. He wasn’t soft. He was pressing in, hard and insistent, like he was trying to carve something out of you. “You pretend really well in front of other people, and they buy it. But I don’t. And it fucking bothers me.”

Your fingers curled into fists in your lap. “Oh, it bothers you?”

“Yeah,” he said, exasperated now. “It bothers me because you don’t do anything about it. You just let it all pile on, and I—I get it, okay? I get it. The guy broke your fucking heart, but you let him keep doing it. Over and over again.”

His voice rose, his hands waving slightly as he spoke, his frustration sharp and cutting. His eyes burned into you, filled with something you didn’t want to name.

“And no,” he went on, “maybe he’s not the villain in this. Maybe he couldn’t help falling in love with someone else. But I don’t buy for a second that he didn’t know exactly how you felt. And that makes him a fucking asshole.”

Your breath hitched.

Frankie leaned in slightly, voice lower now, but no less intense. “And you’re so mean to me, aren’t you? Doesn’t take you a second to snap back, to bite my head off. So why don’t you use some of that energy and tell Harry to fuck off already?”

Your eyes stung. You blinked, and the first tear slipped down your cheek, warm against your skin.

The weight in your chest was unbearable, like something pushing down from the inside out, something clawing its way up your throat. You felt transparent, like every single bone and muscle in your body was on display, like he could see straight through you.

“I never told him I loved him,” you whispered.

Frankie stared at you for several seconds, his gaze unwavering, scanning your face like he was searching for the lie, like he couldn’t believe you’d actually said it.

Then, quietly but firmly, he said, “He knows.”

You shook your head. Your eyes dropped to your hands, resting limp in your lap, one over the other like you were trying to steady yourself.

“He knows,” Frankie repeated, shifting slightly toward you. “Because it’s obvious. Because you wear every single thought on your face, whether you want to or not. Because it’s all right there in your eyes. If he doesn’t know, then he’s either blind or an even bigger idiot than I thought.”

A frustrated breath left your lips. You lifted your hands, exasperated, only to let them fall back onto your thighs with a muted slap. Your eyes, glossy and burning, locked onto his, frustration rippling beneath the surface.

“So then what?” you said, voice tight. “He knew I loved him, and he still left me overnight to commit to someone else? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“I’m telling you it’s fucking cruel to break someone’s heart and then send them a wedding invitation like nothing happened.” His voice was sharp, laced with something close to anger. “And that day, the way he acted so happy to see you, like you were just two old friends running into each other—does his fiancée even know what happened between you?”

You didn’t answer, but something must have flickered across your face because Frankie exhaled sharply, shaking his head.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“We didn’t have anything serious, Francisco,” you said, your voice quiet, trembling but stubborn. “We were friends and—”

The traffic light turned green, but Frankie didn’t move.

You swallowed, waiting for him to break eye contact, to turn his attention back to the road. But he didn’t.

“Don’t give me that excuse,” he said finally, his voice quieter but no less forceful. “Even you don’t believe it.”

A fresh wave of exhaustion rolled through you, but it came tangled with something else—something hotter, heavier. You straightened up, shifting toward him, closing the space between you, and you felt more than saw the moment he registered the tears slipping down your face.

“Why do you care about it?” Your voice cracked, the words tumbling out in uneven breaths. “What do you want me to say, huh? That even if Harry knew I loved him, he still didn’t choose me?”

“Yes!” Frankie snapped. “That’s life! He didn’t choose you, he broke your heart. Well, fuck him! Get over it!” His hands lifted in frustration, his voice pitched higher, sharper. “The sooner you do, the better.”

The words hit you like a physical thing, like a slap to the chest, like something clawing its way up from the inside.

A sound broke from your throat—something half a sob, half a breathless, wounded laugh—and before you even knew what you were doing, your fingers curled around the handle, and you shoved the door open.

The night air hit your skin, cool against the heat burning in your face, and you were out of the car in seconds, walking fast, heart pounding against your ribs.

You heard Frankie behind you, his voice calling your name, followed by the thud of the car door slamming shut. But you didn’t look back.

It didn’t take him long to catch up, his footsteps heavy against the pavement.

“Get back in the car,” he said, breathless but firm.

“My house is three blocks away.”

“I don’t care.” His hand brushed against yours, an attempt to stop you, but you jerked away from his touch like it burned. “I’m not letting you walk home alone.”

“Oh no,” you said, your voice wobbling with emotion, “why? Because Santi’s going to be mad?”

Frankie didn’t answer. He just reached for you again, this time more deliberately. His fingers curled around your arm, not rough, but firm enough that you felt the weight of his concern.

“Please—”

“God, just leave me alone!” You wrenched your arm away, shoving both hands against his chest, pushing him back a few inches. Your breath came fast, shaky, fury and heartbreak tangled together in your throat. “Fuck you, Francisco! Get the fuck out of here! Why are you still here? Why the fuck are you still here? Why won’t you just leave me alone? I’m so tired of you, just go away!”

You stepped forward again, your hands pushing against his chest, but this time, Frankie didn’t budge. He just lifted his hands, fingers brushing against your wrists, hesitant, like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to touch you. The contact sent a shiver up your arms, and you recoiled, jerking your hands away as if you’d been burned.

“I’ll leave you alone,” he said quickly. “Just let me take you home.” His voice was tight, strained with something he wasn’t willing to name. He was trying to sound firm, but the way his eyes moved over your face—restless, searching—gave him away. “It’s late, and it’s dark.”

You shook your head, blinking against the tears threatening to spill over again. Your face felt hot, your throat raw.

“Stop pretending you care,” you said. “About me, about what happens to me. I don’t need this. I don’t need you talking to me like you’re some kind of—some kind of fucking therapist.”

Frankie exhaled hard. “I’m sorry, okay? I won’t say anything else about Harry after this—”

You spun on your heel, turning your back to him, walking away.

A noise of frustration caught in his throat, something between a sigh and a groan, and before you could get any further, he was in front of you again, moving easily, stepping into your path. You stopped short, barely avoiding a collision.

Your breath came fast, uneven. You could feel how blotchy your face must be, your lips swollen, the bruise on your mouth sharper in contrast. Frankie's gaze flicked to it, and you saw the exact second he felt something close to regret—the slight pull of his brows, the way his mouth parted like he was about to say something and then thought better of it.

“You have to accept what happened,” he said finally, voice steady, though his jaw twitched. “For what it was. Don’t turn Harry into some tragic hero who hurt you by accident. That’s not what this is. It just—” he exhaled, shaking his head. “It didn’t mean anything. He didn’t choose you. So what?”

Your stomach twisted.

“You have no idea how I feel,” you snapped, your voice trembling, sharp with the effort of keeping it together. You dragged a hand down your face. “And why do you even care? It doesn’t matter. None of this fucking matters.”

Frankie shook his head. “I know how you feel. That’s why I’m trying—”

“Trying what?” You stepped closer, looking at him fully now. “To fix it? You can’t. I don’t need anything from you. I don’t need your pity, your useless advice. I know how this works. I know how people work. I’m good enough until the real thing comes along. That’s all I’ve ever been.”

His expression changed then—his eyes darkening, his mouth pressing into a line.

“That’s not true,” he said.

“Yes, it is, Francisco.” You said his name like it hurt. Like it was something you needed to spit out. “Because I’m always missing something. Because there’s always something I don’t have. And I know, I know that’s just life, that’s how it is, someone always gets left behind, someone always gets hurt. But why does it always have to be me?” Your throat ached from the force of your words, and when you spoke again, your voice sounded wrecked, on the verge of giving out. “Why do I always have to be the one to accept things as they are? Why am I the one who has to be mature, move on, be fine?”

Frankie exhaled, slow, measured. “You’re letting this define you.”

You let out a sharp breath, almost a laugh. “I’m letting this define me?”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” he insisted. “He wasn’t for you—”

“It does mean something.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes, it does! And you have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t know me, you don’t know anything about me or what I feel or what—” Your voice broke, and you swallowed it down. “You don’t know anything.”

Frankie’s gaze stayed steady. “You’re just—numb. You think no one’s ever going to choose you because you’re in a bad place right now—”

“Shut up.” Your hands pressed against his chest again, lighter this time.

“I understand,” he said. “I do—”

“Shut up.”

But he didn’t.

“Somebody’s going to!”

"Or maybe not!"

Frankie let out a breath that was almost a laugh, but there was nothing amused about it. He glanced to the side, then back at you, his jaw tight, frustration bleeding into every line of his face. His eyes were dark with something unreadable, something that made your stomach twist.

"Okay," he said. "So what, then? You gonna spend the rest of your life wallowing? Feeling sorry for yourself forever?"

Your fingers curled into fists at your sides.

"You must have a lot of experience with that sort of thing, don't you?" The words sliced out of you, unfiltered, sharp enough to wound. Something ugly stirred in your chest, something raw and aching. The pain wasn’t his fault, not really, but he had pulled it to the surface, made it unbearable. And for some reason, you wanted him to feel it too. Even just a fraction of it.

"Feeling bad about yourself," you continued, your voice quiet but cutting. "Drowning in your own misery. Being a complete fucking loser."

Frankie didn’t flinch. Didn’t so much as blink.

"Yeah," he said simply, his voice flat, like he was stating an obvious fact. He was looking at you as if he was waiting for more, like he could take whatever else you threw at him. Like he wanted you to.

"Then why should I listen to you?" You took a step forward, closing the space between you. "Why should I care about anything you have to say?" Your head tilted up, and from this close, you caught every micro-expression—his eyes widening, his brow tensing, his mouth parting just slightly, like he was about to speak but couldn’t find the words fast enough.

"I take things as they come from people who matter," you said, voice low but unwavering. "And you? You’re nothing to me, Francisco. Just an inconvenience I can't seem to shake, no matter how hard I try."

His throat bobbed, but he stayed silent.

"This whole thing," you went on, gesturing between the two of you, "this back and forth, this—whatever the fuck it is—it’s pointless. Because no matter how hard we pretend to be something we’re not, it doesn’t change reality."

You exhaled, your pulse hammering.

"And the reality is," you said, looking him dead in the eye, "you're nothing but a failure."

Frankie exhaled, but he didn’t move at first. He just stood there, staring at you, unmoving, like he was bracing for something. His expression didn’t shift, but there was the faintest sheen in his eyes, catching the dim light. He blinked once, hard, and when he opened them again, the gloss was gone.

Then, suddenly, as if some invisible thread had snapped, he took a step back. It was abrupt, almost involuntary, like his body needed distance from you before his mind could catch up. But he didn’t say anything. His mouth pressed downward for a second, his gaze dropping to the ground.

When he looked at you again, his eyes met yours—just for a moment, like he was memorizing something. Or maybe letting something go.

And then he turned.

No hesitation, no last words, just the quiet sound of his shoes on pavement as he walked back to his car. His shoulders tense, his head slightly bowed. You watched him go, your arms folding tightly across your chest, trying to hold everything in. The rising ache, the anger that curled at the edges of your grief, the way your throat burned with unshed tears.

He didn’t look back.

You waited until he was nearly at the car before you forced yourself to turn away. Your legs felt heavy as you walked, like you were dragging some unseen weight behind you. Your breath came too fast, your ribs constricting painfully. All you wanted was to disappear inside your bed, to sleep until your body forgot how it felt to be this exhausted.

When you reached home, Mr. Darcy was there, waiting. He brushed against your legs, his tail sweeping across your calf, his little face tilting up as if he could sense something unsettled in you.

You dropped to the floor.

The second you sat down, your shoulders caved in. Mr. Darcy curled into your lap, his soft purring vibrating against your hands, but it didn’t soothe you the way it usually did. You pressed your face into his fur, and the sobs that had been threatening to spill over finally broke free, shaking your whole frame.

Your words echoed in your head, bitter on your tongue, and you hated the way they tasted. Because you knew you had been cruel.

But it didn’t matter.

He had been cruel too.

And maybe—finally—he would leave you alone.

dividers by @/saradika-graphics

Taglis: @paleidiot @gothcsz @everyth1ngfan @katw474 @mellymbee @pedritosgirl2000 @tsunamistorm123 @jokesonthem @sunnytuliptime @greenwitchfromthewoods @ashleyfilm @darkheartgatita @joelmillerisapunk @nandan11 @whirlwindrider29 @onlythehobi @diabaroxa @yellowbrickyeti @daybleedsintonightfa11 @mys2425 @pigeonmama @speaktothehandpeasants @pez3639 @stylesispunk @imaginecrushes @isla-finke-blog @smiithys @jokesonthem @brittmb115 @sukivenue

#the boyfriend act #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier fanfiction #francisco catfish morales #francisco morales #frankie morales x you #frankie morales fanfiction #francisco morales x reader #frankie morales smut #francisco morales smut #francisco morales fanfiction #francisco morales x you #capuccinodoll #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut #triple frontier

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agirlsawalittlerose · 3 months ago

Text

This is Me Trying

ModernAU!Aegon x OFC

Fresh out of rehab, Aegon Targaryen is looking for a way back into music when he meets Victoria, a talented but stubborn singer-songwriter who wants nothing to do with his family’s record label. Reluctantly thrown together, they form an unexpected creative partnership, finding common ground in music and shared struggles.

TW: Alcoholism, Addiction, Sexism (a lot of it)

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 5: Lounge Act

Her name was Melissa, her ideal Sunday involved walking her beagle, and her controversial opinion was that “Tall guys are better, sorry not sorry.”

Yet she had not complained when he had shoved his tongue in her mouth.

Aegon had never been a fan of dating apps. Declaring upfront that he wasn’t looking for anything serious felt like shooting himself in the foot. But now, confined to his apartment under his mother’s watchful eye—like some medieval guard posted at the castle gates—he didn’t have many options.

He could’ve waited for Aemond to agree to take him out again, but even that wasn’t a great strategy. His brother was hardly the picture of a wingman.

He missed Martin and Leon.

Those two had an uncanny knack for finding the right Underworld nights, where the best alt girls hung out—the ones who were down for a quick romp and didn’t mind sharing if you happened to mention you were a musician.

He hadn’t heard from them since "the incident", save for a brief exchange where they invited him to an open deck. He’d had to decline, too proud to explain that his mother had grounded him to prevent him from having too much fun.

But Hinge? Hinge had turned out to be a solid wingman.

Melissa hadn’t been fazed by his “seeking something casual” disclaimer (he’d thrown in open to long-term to not sound like a complete tool). She even agreed to come over and check out his guitar collection.

She showed up in one of those skater skirts that made him get a hard-on the second she crossed the threshold.

He had started fucking her with that still on, but then curiosity had prevailed and he had decided that he wanted to actually check if she had a nice arse.

Just before actually taking it off, he’d gotten a text from Vic. Something about skipping the gym the next day. Aegon, drunk and preoccupied, hadn’t grasped why the hell she thought he’d care about her workout plans. He replied with a quick ok and turned his attention back to Melissa, smacking her now naked perfect bum.

Now, though, waking up to the sight of Melissa’s skirt on the floor and her curled up in his bed, it finally hit him. He understood exactly what he’d agreed to.

Vic must’ve expected to meet him that morning. And sure enough, she was calling.

Aegon bolted out of bed, stirring Melissa, who mumbled sleepily, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered distractedly. Without even bothering to put on boxers, he grabbed his phone and answered.

“Hey!”

“Can you be there in an hour?” Vic asked, skipping any formalities.

Aegon paused, realizing the trap. Islington was only ten minutes away.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there,” he said quickly.

“Good,” she replied, promptly hanging up.

“Sorry, love, I’ve got to dash,” Aegon said to Melissa, who was now fully awake and watching him intently as he grabbed fresh clothes and headed toward his en suite bathroom.

“Already? Seriously?” she whined, her voice deliberately childlike, as she let the sheet slip off her body—casual, but clearly on purpose.

Aegon paused, reconsidering. After all, Islington was just ten minutes away. He flashed her a mischievous grin, retraced his steps, and scooped her up in his arms. Melissa squealed, her bob brushing against his chin as she leaned in to kiss him.

“Looks like we both need a shower,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing. She nodded eagerly, her expression smoldering, as he carried her into the bathroom.

Somehow, he still managed to arrive on time. He spotted Vic immediately—she’d just arrived too, her cigarette only half-smoked. Her expression was serious, eyes fixed on something across the street. Curious, Aegon glanced over but saw nothing worth noting.

“No Olympic-level bodybuilder training today? Your personal trainer’s going to be devastated,” he teased as he approached her.

Vic smirked. “The upside of not being able to afford one is that when I skip the gym, I only disappoint myself,” she replied with a dry laugh, offering him a cool but polite hug.

“Oh, I’m a pro at that,” Aegon quipped. Vic gave him an intrigued look, the kind that suggested she could’ve said the exact same thing a million times before.

The café catered to London’s self-styled intellectual elite—the kind of place where people pretended a matcha latte was a personality trait. Aegon counted at least twelve of them, held by the usual crowd of over-caffeinated creatives who were currently ogling a The 1975 vinyl like it wasn’t just more overproduced pop made by overindulged nepo babies.

Sure, they had solid musical references, but at the end of the day, it was all the same recycled, market-friendly angst.

He thought about pointing this out to Vic as an icebreaker for their inevitable music debate, but then it hit him—she might easily think the same of him.

He kept quiet.

Vic made a beeline for the vinyl section, a cozy little room adjacent to the bar and seating area, with a turntable prominently displayed in the center. She picked up a Mazzy Star record, and Aegon couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“So, let me guess—you’re the type who puts on Mazzy Star when it rains and stares out the window, feeling all deep and melancholic,” he said sarcastically, leaning over her shoulder.

Vic turned, one eyebrow raised. “Yeah, but only because I hate the rain,” she shot back, sliding the record back into place. “And you? You probably think blasting Joy Division at 2 a.m. makes you profound.” She added, noticing how his eyes had just landed on a copy of Unknown Pleasures.

Aegon laughed, taking the bait. She wasn’t wrong—and Joy Division always worked like a charm with girls. “I am profound, thanks. More than Mazzy Star will ever be.” He picked up the record she had just put down.

Vic watched him, raising an eyebrow clearly unimpressed. “But,” Aegon continued, handing the record back to her as a contender, “sometimes you’ve got to rage. Smash some guitars, scream into the void. Nirvana, The Replacements… that’s the real deal.” He grabbed Nevermind from a shelf to make his point.

“That’s not even their best album,” Vic said, skeptical. “And if we’re talking untouchable albums, how about Hounds of Love? Kate Bush is in a league of her own.” She rifled through the vinyls, but of course, that one wasn’t there.

Aegon shrugged, conceding. “Okay, fair. Kate’s got that witchy magic. I respect it. But come on, you can’t tell me you don’t get amped when Smells Like Teen Spirit comes on.” He waved the Nevermind vinyl in front of her face, like it was a sacred text.

Vic sighed, rolling her eyes with exaggerated exasperation. “In Utero is way more raw and emotional. Nevermind is just a watered-down version of that—practically pop, and badly played at that.”

Aegon clutched his chest in mock offense, widening his eyes like she’d just insulted his entire family. “Well, well, Victoria Dawson and her controversial opinions. You’re starting to sound like my brother.”

“He’s not wrong,” she quipped, shrugging as she absentmindedly caressed a Nick Drake record. “Gotta admit, he has an undeniable eye for talent.” She smirked, clearly referring to herself.

Aegon laughed, watching her as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, swaying slightly to Midnight City by M83, which she had just queued up on the shop’s speakers.

Okay, she’s cultured, a solid songwriter, funny, and bold enough to make wild claims like Nevermind being poorly played. What else is going on here? Aegon wondered.

He still couldn’t fully figure her out. With all those tattoos and her all-black outfits, she could’ve easily blended in with the alt girls Martin and Leon used to hook him up with. But she held her own in pretentious conversations with Aemond’s snobby friends, wielding sharp awareness of their BS. And then there were her songs—deeply aching, sung like desperate cries for help.

Who are you really, Victoria Dawson?

There was only one way to find out. Leaning forward, Aegon put on a mock-serious expression.

“Okay, real talk. We’re dancing around the big question here. Where do you stand on Taylor Swift?”

Vic smirked, like she’d been waiting her whole life for that question. “Oh, I’m firmly in the pro-Taylor camp. That woman’s a genius.”

“Finally, we agree on something,” Aegon said, grinning triumphantly.

She laughed, handing him the Mazzy Star vinyl again, then shrugged off her flannel shirt, revealing a skimpy black crop top underneath—of course it was black.

Aegon immediately felt the room heat up, suddenly unsure why she was undressing and even less sure he hadn’t been staring at her tits for a beat too long.

“See this?” she said, pointing to a tattoo on her bicep—a withered flower—snapping him out of his wandering thoughts. “It’s from Clean.”

Aegon quickly pulled himself together. “1989 ? Masterpiece.”

Vic didn’t miss a beat. “And Folklore? A flawless pivot. She’s like this generation’s Joni Mitchell, but with better marketing.”

“Better marketing and way more public drama. Respect,” Aegon said, leaning casually against the record shelf, his fingers idly drumming on the edge of a vinyl. “But yeah, she’s got range. I’ve cranked Cruel Summer a few more times than it’s wise to admit.”

Vic’s lips curled into a knowing grin. She tilted her head slightly, her eyes glinting with mischief. “So, you’ve danced to Taylor Swift in your room, haven’t you?”

Aegon raised an eyebrow, feigning nonchalance as he crossed his arms. “What can I say? I have layers.”

“Layers like a Taylor Swift album—fun, messy, occasionally heartbreaking.” Vic said with a chuckle.

Aegon smirked, tilting his head back slightly as if considering her words. “All of that in equal measure,” he shot back, his voice low but tinged with amusement.

Vic gave him a mock-impressed look. She turned her attention back to the record bins, but her smile lingered, soft and thoughtful.

“Let me guess,” she said after a pause, her fingers flipping through vinyls, eyes scanning their covers. “You save the heartbreaking layer for late-night, post-gig vibes? One too many beers, a guitar in hand, and suddenly All Too Well is your jam?”

Aegon laughed, a rich, genuine sound that surprisingly filled the room. He pushed off the shelf and stepped closer, his voice dropping slightly. “Hey, All Too Well is a masterpiece. But no, my go-to is My Tears Ricochet—full sad boy hours.”

Vic nodded approvingly, her expression somewhere between amused and intrigued. “Ah, the deep cuts. Respect.” She pulled out another record and examined it thoughtfully. “You know, for a guy who pretends to be all rock and roll, you’ve got a surprisingly emotional core.”

Aegon shrugged “I told you, layers. You think my tattoos are just for show?” He said, pulling his shirt open to reveal a glimpse of the tattoos on his chest beneath his white tank top.

Vic snorted softly, giving him a quick once-over. “Half of them probably are.”

“Okay, fair,” Aegon admitted, raising his hands in mock surrender. “But the other half? Pure emotional trauma, carefully curated for maximum artistic effect.”

Vic held up a vinyl triumphantly, a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. “Found it,” she said, showing him Rumours by Fleetwood Mac. “Now, if we’re really going to talk music, let’s start with this.”

Aegon gave a low whistle, nodding in appreciation. “Great choice.”

“Always,” Vic said, her grin widening. She tucked the record under her arm and glanced back at him. “Let’s see if your layers can keep up.”

“Challenge accepted,” Aegon replied, his eyes sparking with anticipation.

Vic smiled, satisfied, and skipped off toward the bar. As they waited for the barista to finish yet another matcha latte for yet another pseudo-intellectual patron, she leaned in close to Aegon and whispered, “Sure you don’t want to take advantage of happy hour?”

She said it in a teasing tone, but Aegon caught a flicker in her eyes—the same restless, hungry look he’d seen in his own reflection the night before, while waiting for Melissa, his thumb hovering over his dealer’s contact.

“Sure,” he replied, his voice steady, almost challenging. This sober, forced camaraderie was a fragile truce. “Are you?”

Vic nodded, her gaze flicking around the room as if trying to embody nonchalance. “Sure.”

The barista finally turned their way, his expression as blank as the café’s minimalist decor. “What can I get you?” he asked, barely lifting his eyes.

“A hazelnut syrup cappuccino, please,” Vic said, her tone light, almost chipper.

The barista’s gaze shifted to Aegon, who still bore the weight of last night’s hangover. His throat was dry, his head buzzing faintly. “Just water, thanks.”

Vic snorted, a quick, amused sound she didn’t bother to suppress, then she shot him a knowing look.

He didn’t need to ask why she was laughing.

Hello everyone! A little note and a double drop, because this chapter is quite short but needed its own space to shine. Also, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have showered me with love! I’m new to Tumblr and to publishing my fics. I started writing because I recently moved to (ironically) London and missed my friends, but your kind interactions have made up for it in no time. 🤍 Love you all, see you super soon!

#aegon #aegon ii fanfic #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen fanfic #aegon x oc #hotd #hotd fanfic #modern au #modern au aegon #modernauaegon #Spotify

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skipper19 · 11 months ago

Text

(Ah yes, another self indulging one-shot. I'm suffering with swollen tonsils, drainage, a double ear infection, and a very sore body. Let me indulge. 🥲😭)

Imagine this..

Matthew murdock new you would be upset, and you had every right to be. He would be upset, too, if the roles had been reversed. But Matt knew one thing for sure, he would do it again. The night prior, you were coughing up too much mucus and blowing your nose multiple times. Matt could hear the crackle and pop in your lungs as you breathed, and every time your joints popped, he would wince.

The line was crossed when he had to listen to you sob from the pain as you showered. It took everything in him not to forget dinner and drag you to the hospital. You had walked out of the bathroom and acted like nothing happened. You tried to wave off your obvious sickness all night, but Matt knew. Even if he didn't have superhuman senses, he knew.

And then you expected him to let you go into work? That's where he drew the line.

When Matt had awoken for work in the morning, he cut off your alarm and called in to let your boss know you wouldn't be able to make it today. Luckily, your boss understood and stated that she suspected you were sick because of your behavior the past few days. Matt thanked her before he hung up. He contemplated calling out of work himself and staying home to take care of you, but he pushed himself to get ready and head out. The day wasn't supposed to last long anyway. There were no trials, only paperwork, so he should be home early today.

He was wrong.

Sure, he had already planned to skip patrol tonight, but apparently, the world had it out for him. Foggy called out, an emergency client was sprung on him, and his phone died. He had no contact with you and you couldn't reach him. Not only that, but it was 5 in the afternoon before he was able to get off of work. Matthew couldn't help the rush in his stride as he made his way back to your shared apartment.

Matthew murdock knew you would be upset, and you had every right to be. But he didn't expect you to lock him out of the apartment.

He could hear your coughing and congested lungs the moment he stepped into the building, so he was already worrying about you, but then he got to the apartment, and the door was locked. "Uh, sweetheart?" He called out. "Can you unlock the door?" He suggested. There was shuffling, and Matt could practically feel the way you stop and fold your arms as you sit up on the couch. "No!" Your strained and muffled voice replied through your stuffed nose and sore throat. "What do you mean no?" Matt was confused, but hurt as well.

"You turn off my alarm and make me miss work, and then -" You paused as a fit of wheezing and coughing interrupted your sentence. You let out a small noise of pain and take a deep breath. "- and then you don't answer any of my calls after I wake up." You replied. Matt's eyebrows furrowed deep above his eyes, and he huffed. He wasn't necessarily irritated at you, just at the silliness of the situation. He knew you were going to be upset, and he expected a reaction, but he really didn't need you to be locking him out right now.

Not when you sound like that.

Not when he can't help you.

"I'm sorry, angel, but you are sick. You couldn't go to work today, I couldn't let you when you sounded like that." Matt heard your sniffle, and he guessed that your nose was probably red and sore. Your feet left the comfort of the couch, and you pushed yourself up, grasping the couch arm to stay stable. Matt cursed to himself as he heard your footsteps pause and your body swayed. "Sit back down, I'll come in through the window. I don't want you up right now." Matt huffed worriedly. "The windows locked too.." You muttered.

Matt sighed and gently knocked his forehead against the door. "Alright, let me in." He spoke. It wasn't long before Matt heard a thud, and his heart stopped in his chest. "Sweetheart?" He called out. "Are you alright?" But he didn't receive a response. He could still hear the crackle and pop of your lungs, but your heart was beating slowly. It's almost like you were asleep. Matt realized after a moment that you had passed out.

He tried the door handle once more, harshly yanking on it and trying to turn it roughly. He cursed under his breath and braced his shoulder against the wood. He hit his shoulder against the wood once, twice, three times, before the door splintered at the handle, and Matt tumbled into the room. He quickly found his bearings and let his hand trail the wall he was familiar with until he emerged into the living room. He could hear your congested breathing better now, and he was careful to get on his knees as he felt around for you. "Angel?" He called out softly. His hands finally grazed over your face, and he moved, so he was cradling your face as he kneeled next to your body.

Time seemed to slow down. The ambulance didn't get there fast enough. Traffic was too slow on the way to the hospital. Ticking from the clock hanging on the wall of the waiting room made Matt want to pull out his hair. Matt's senses were overwhelmed, and the worry he felt for you was not helping in the slightest. All Matt wanted was for you to be okay. And- God- Matt felt so guilty. How could he not?

If he had stayed home with you, maybe charged his phone the night prior, he wouldn't be having this issue! Hell, Matt was starting to contemplate if he was even a good boyfriend. He could have stopped this from happening. You, out of all people, didn't need to be suffering from a sickness that put you into the hospital. You were a hard worker who loved your job. You were a stubborn firecracker. It's one of the reasons Matt fell in love with you in the first place. This time? Matt wishes he would have just stayed home and coddled you all day so you could go back to work after healing. So everything would be normal again. But instead, you were stuck in the hospital with (what the doctor just informed Matt) pulmonary edema. Fuck.

-------------------------------------------------♤

It was days of recovery before you were released from the hospital. Thankfully, you were sent home on a Friday, so Matt had Saturday and Sunday with you. Foggy said he could handle everything at the office during these days, and so Matt had you to himself without any responsibilities. Daredevil be damned, you were his first and main priority.

You had trouble letting Matt help you, but you really didn't have a choice. Your body was just too weak. Despite the time and medicine from the hospital, your limbs felt too heavy to do anything. Matt had been an absolute angel during this time. He was by your side, never wavering when help was in need. He didn't hesitate to take the household responsibilities onto his shoulders as well. You felt guilty and embarrassed, to say the least. Matt reassured you that he didn't mind, but your pride wouldn't let you accept his help without a bit of resistance.

You have always been stubborn when you were sick. Matt thought it was adorable.

You sulked as you rested your chest against your knees, arms wrapped around your legs to the best of your ability. Your kneecap was pushed almost painfully into your chin as you pouted. Matt bit back a smirk as he poured the water over your bare back. He didn't have to have vision to see you were pouty. "You shouldn't feel embarrassed. It's okay to accept my help, you know." It wasn't a question. It was a fact. And he was right. You did know this.

Despite the gentle nature in his voice and his soft caresses of soap against your back, you scoffed and turned your head away from him. "I'm not embarrassed. I'm," You pause to gather your thoughts. "I'm not incapable of bathing myself. Or cooking, or cleaning, or getting groceries. Hell, you even help me off the couch! You act like I can't do anything myself, and it makes me feel stupid." You ramble on, eyebrows furrowing in irritation. Matt's gentle ministrations on your skin don't stop. He moves to wash your shoulders instead. He leans in and kisses your temple. "Do you know how scared I was when you passed out?" He whispered, drawing your attention away from the wall.

He had a soft look in his eyes, but his jaw looked clenched. "Do you know how scared I was as I waited for the doctors to tell me if you were okay or not?" He wasn't trying to make you feel guilty. He was trying to make you understand. "I don't care how much you have to lean on me, how much I have to do in this house, how long I'm away from work. I don't care. Let me take care of you. Let me protect you and keep you safe. Because if I fail? If I lost you, when I could have prevented it, I would fall apart. Without you, Im nothing. Nothing matters to me if you're not by my side." His stern words worm into your heart and burrow deep into your soul until you're a crying mess.

You lean your head against Matt's chest and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him close. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Matty. I just can't stand this, I feel so useless. I know the doctor said to rest, but I hate feeling so powerless and weak. I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry." You say into his shirt, your voice muffled against the fabric. Matt cooed and shushed you as he ran his fingers through your freshly washed hair. He knew you were struggling to accept his help, but he also knew how badly you wanted his comfort and aid.

"I don't care how long I have to take care of you for, as long as I know you're okay. I love you more than anything else in the world. Remember that." You sniffled and nodded against his neck. You didn't care that his shirt was getting soaked. From the bath water or your tears, you didn't know. Matt didn't pay any mind, either. "I love you too, Matthew, so much. And I'll get better at accepting your help, I promise. " And that's all he asked for.

-------------------------------------------------♤

Soooo I started this in November last year, and it took me until today to finish it. I lost my motivation to write this story completely, and I think it turned out horribly. I'm sorry for the wait and the story. Love you guys!

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platinumrosetail · 1 year ago

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Ok weighter block and request block is Killin me so I thought about this ask

Can you do any 5 ships from any fandom you do x female half spider baby reader

Like reader is in her egg and the egg falls into one of the ships hands and then they say the reader there's now please and thank you

Ooooh interesting. Also everyone who reads this If you don’t like any of the ships I ship then either skip that ship or move on from this post as I don’t care if you don’t like it that’s your opinion and I’m not going to just stop shipping them because you guys don’t like it as it’s my opinion and we all have different opinions and different ships so do take that into consideration before you go wild and comment something you shouldn’t as I’ll just delete it anyway, this is your first and last warning, thank you.

Warning: noob author, female child reader, platonic yandere characters, and others.

Characters: sinbad x jafar (magi), tighnari x cyno (genshin impact), muzan x yoriichi (demon slayer),

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magi!sinbad x jafar:

Drakon found an egg while out picnicking with his wife, he believes the egg was either abandoned or something happened terrible happened to the egg’s parents.

(Remember that she said half so the spouse could be female and the spider half could be male or we could go the male x male route as magic does exist and it could help make that happen and maybe even without magic.)

He decided to bring you to his king and his wife so that they could decide on what should happen next.

Sinbad was curious on why one of his oldest friend brought an egg to him and his wife until he heard the reason.

Jafar decided to take care of the egg as if the egg is in the wrong hands like kou empire then danger will soon come with whatever is inside the egg becoming a weapon of sorts and didn’t want that to happen again like it did with him.

(It’s been a long while since I last seen magi sinbad so I could be remembering it wrong or something but I think that kinda happened with jafar like he was turned into a weapon until he met sinbad and all I could be wrong.)

Sinbad was onboard as he was thinking of having a child with jafar, he wouldn’t mind if the first one wasn’t from both him and jafar as it would help them get started on how parents should act.

When you hatched you were nothing like sinbad, jafar, and the generals were thinking you’d be, it would seem you’re arachnes what with the spider features you have but there’s also some other creatures feature they can see but it’s less than your spider half of what they can see.

Your spider half allows you to climb on walls (unless the other half is also something that can climb on walls then ignore that lol) so you’re a troublemaker if you want to do something but your parents, uncles and aunts won’t allow you, though jafar seems to always be able to get you down whether it’s by coaxing you, getting you down with his strings or using his weapon on his strings to climb up there and get you himself. You mostly get this influence from watching sinbad and what with sinbad teaching you some things you shouldn’t know which gets him in trouble, the two wouldn’t have it any other way.

Genshin!tighnari x cyno:

Collei found an egg while scouting with some of the other rangers she described to bring it home as she could tell by the state of the nest that the parents are no more.

Tighnari was surprised to see collei carrying a fairly large egg after getting back from routine scouting to make sure the forest is in check.

Once she explained what she saw tighnari decided to raise the egg as there was no telling what could happen to it once it hatch especially with the fatui and their experiments that they do on people and creatures.

Cyno was surprised like tighnari first was at the egg being in his shared home with tighnari, though he soon understood when both tighnari and collei explained what she had seen and the possible outcome of the parents along with what might happen if the egg falls in the wrong hand seeing as how they don’t know what could be inside the egg until it hatch’s.

They took care of you until the day you hatched, making sure you were warm and such, there were a few scares but thankfully nothing bad has happened as far as they know.

The day you finally hatched was when it was thundering outside making tighnari, collei, and cyno plus the others in the small village stay inside so as to now get soaked and sick.

You were a hybrid, with your spider half being the most noticeable feature than you other half. Thankfully all his equipment to do a check up on you were inside the house so he can give you a check up after you hatched instead of going out in the rain which would most likely get him sick and that won’t be good especially with you just hatching the same day as the storm and you can get sick as well if he does, you were checked up and the results came out fine as you’re healthy like any other baby born.

Demon slayer!muzan x yoriichi:

Yoriichi had found an egg while scouting for any demons that would come that night but all he found was the egg.

Yoriich brought you to muzan and suggested that they adopt the egg and care for it.

Muzan out of fear of angering yoruichi and having his end by him agreed, not knowing that he will also get the same parental instinct to take care of you.

Muzan made sure that the upper and lower moons are to take care of the new demon heir and if harm should come to the egg then he would gladly make them wished they protected the egg better.

Muzan kept the egg away from Douma as he knew that the rainbow-eyed upper moon is unpredictable what with him having no emotion and to make sure that the egg is safe he leaves it with kokoshibo and akaza as he knows those two are more responsible than Douma.

Though sadly the two usual babysitter had to be unavailable as they were on a mission to find the blue spider lily and the rest of the upper and lower moon wasn’t really trustworthy to take care of you except maybe nakime but she is busy as well, so muzan sadly left the egg in Douma’s care not without giving Douma a warning that he should not bring danger to the egg and protect it at all cost or else consequences will happen.

You had hatched in douma’s care a little before muzan had arrived so while waiting for muzan douma began telling stories about muzan even though only he understood himself as your still just a baby and too young to understand him talking, all you knew is that this male with the rainbow eyes is not your mother who you heard through your egg all the time in the past. Muzan arrived a minute or so later expecting to see his child still in a egg but is shocked to see that there is a baby with spider like feature surrounded by egg shells, he immediately knew that you had hatched as he can see the slime that is usually in a egg on your small spider hybrid like form who is giving a bored look at Douma who still is telling stories about muzan. Muzan quickly left with you after rewarding Douma with more of his blood and went to his home to introduce you to yoriichi.

(A/n: hope y’all like it! I sadly couldn’t do 5 fandoms as it was hard to find two other fandoms that could go with this but I still hope y’all like it 😁 anyway I think that’s it so hope y’all have a wonderful day/evening/night!!)

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viccyfics · 2 months ago

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Angst prompt 26 for Slick and the other freights (+rusty) as a sibling dynamic?

Thank you for the prompt! (I've not written for any of the Wembley freight before except for Rusty and Hydra so hopefully this is okay)

(prompt list)

READ UNDER THE CUT OR ON AO3

Slick didn’t feel guilty often, and she was sure if it was anyone else she wouldn’t feel guilty now, but this wasn’t just any random engine she’d been paid to crash, it was her own brother…and she went ahead with it.

But it wasn’t even just her fault so if anything, she should only be feeling like…1/5 grief, was that even a thing?

But no, she felt truly guilty, and hearing Rusty say he forgave wasn’t helping, if anything, it was making it worse.

Everyone was making it worse and they didn’t even realise, but why would they care? She’d hurt Rusty and hurt all of them, even Momma, she saw the look in Momma’s eyes, a look that almost had Slick tearing up.

She could hear them all laughing from the living room of the shed, acting like nothing had happened and their sister was just in her room chilling and listening to music. But she wasn’t and they knew she wasn’t.

She was pacing around her room, stepping over all the mess and avoiding the crates and boxes, the music playing loudly from her phone to try and cover the sounds of her quiet cries as she tried to figure out a proper way to apologise so the feeling of guilt twisting in her stomach like water mixing with her oil would go away. Would they think she was lying if she walked in there and apologised to Rusty again, she even gave the money back, well not all of it, but some of it, and her siblings knew that, but did they even care?

She understood if they never trusted her again, or if they never wanted to be around her again, but it didn’t mean it was making her any less upset.

The door creaked, and Slick tensed, quickly swiping her eyes with the back of her wrist.

“Slick?” It was Momma, her voice soft and hesitant in that way that meant she was trying not to upset her.

“Door’s open,” Slick muttered, her voice hoarse, hoping she was loud enough to be heard over the music, and judging from the door slowly opening, she was.

Momma stepped in, glancing at the mess of spare parts and the oil-streaked walls she hadn’t bothered to clean. But her gaze didn’t judge, but it lingered, and Slick hated how that made her feel small. Like the little sister who’d scraped her paint and tried to act like it didn’t hurt, just like when she was a child and realised just how easy it was to get into her oil tank and decided to cover every crack and dent so Momma wouldn’t worry over her.

“I’m worried about you, Slicky.” Momma said gently, using her childhood nickname, “You didn’t come in for Dinner.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You didn’t have lunch either,” Momma pointed out, “Or breakfast, Starlight you didn’t even eat yesterday, do I need to bring you food?”

Slick shook her head with a groan, Momma shouldn’t be worried about her, she nearly broke this family apart with Rusty’s blood and coal on her hands, she should be ignoring her, or yelling.

“Your brothers are worried too.”

Slick bit her tongue, hard. She didn’t want to hear that. She didn’t deserve to hear that.

“They shouldn’t be,” Slick snapped, harsher than she meant to, but her voice cracked at the end, betraying the ache buried beneath her bravado. “I don’t want them to be. I don’t deserve that.”

Momma didn’t flinch. She just walked in slowly, shutting the door behind her, then sat herself down on the edge of the workbench by the door. "You do,” she said gently, “of course you do.”

“No, I don’t.” Slick exploded, “I crashed Rusty, I was paid to do it, I didn’t stop, I didn’t even hesitate, I just-” She cut herself off with a broken sound, hands trembling as she clenched her fists.

“I knew what I was doing, and I still did it.”

Her throat tightened. “And you’re sitting there like I just skipped chores.”

Momma’s face didn’t change much, but her eyes… they softened. They always did when her kids were hurting. Slick wished they wouldn’t. It was easier to be angry than to feel this.

“I’m not acting like it didn’t matter, baby,” Momma said quietly. “I know how serious this is. And so do you. But punishing yourself like this…shutting yourself away and starving yourself and calling yourself every bad name you can think of isn't going to undo it.”

“I don’t want to undo it,” Slick said bitterly. “I want to go back and never do any of it, never start in the first place, not just this with Rusty, but all of it.”

“I know.”

Slick sank to the floor, her knees knocking the crates beside her. She buried her face in her arms and let herself break open. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she whispered. “I don’t know why I do it, I guess the money is nice, and it's fun but…when I saw Rusty fall..now I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and it’s all my fault.”

Momma didn’t speak, she waited until the sobs softened, until Slick’s voice faded into choked, shuddering silence, Then she stood and crossed the room over to Slick’s side and wrapped her daughter in her arms, not caring that Slick was trying to push her away, the girl was always like this when she was sad even when she wanted to be held.

“We’re not laughing because we forgot,” Momma said softly. “We’re laughing because we’re still here because Rusty’s okay. Because we didn’t fall apart, even though we all thought we might, that’s what family is about, and you Slicky,” She tilted Slick’s chin up so she could stare into Slick’s honey eyes, “You’re part of this family, you’re my daughter, their sister and nothing is going to change that.”

Slick didn’t know what to say, her mouth opened but nothing came out, her face crumpled again, and she buried it in her momma’s shoulder like when she was a kid and she scraped her gears trying to slide on her stomach down the tracks faster than her brothers, she was too old for this, she was too wrong for this. But it still felt good, too good, and it made her cry all over again.

Momma just held her, letting her cry it out, rocking slightly in that grounding rhythm she often did.

Then came a knock, three short raps on the door.

Slick froze.

“Can I come in?” Rusty’s voice called, muffled through the door.

Momma glanced down at Slick for permission, but Slick shook her head rapidly, looking around at the mess of a bedroom, Rusty could get easily hurt in here, there were trip hazards everywhere, but on top of that, she didn’t want him to see her like this.

He was the one meant to be crying, not her.

Momma followed her gaze around the room, “How about we go out there instead, they miss you.”

“But what if they hate me?” Slick asked, “And they’re just pretending they don’t.”

Momma raised her eyebrow, but her face was still soft. “Do you think Porter could lie to save his life?”

Slick snorted, wetly. “No.”

“And Lumber?”

“No..”

“And Hydra?”

“…No.”

“And Rusty couldn’t hate anyone.”

Slick stared down at the oily smudge on her sleeve, heart pounding, “Okay.”

“Rusty,” Momma yelled back towards the door, “Head back to your brothers, we’ll be out in a second.”

Then she turned her attention back to her daughter, Momma gave her hand a gentle squeeze and slowly stood, offering her other hand out, Slick hesitated, her fingers curling in and out like she was debating whether or not she deserved to take it. But finally, she slipped her hand into Momma’s.

“That’s my girl.”

Together, they rolled back toward the main part of the shed, the sound of chatter and laughing getting louder with each step. Slick felt her body tense again, her steps faltering just before the hallway ended. The laughter suddenly seemed unbearable, like it would evaporate the second they saw her, or worse they would just ignore her and pretend she wasn’t there.

But Momma didn’t let go. She stepped into the room first, and Slick, swallowing back a fresh wave of nerves, followed.

The moment she stepped in, the room went quiet, not an awkward quiet, but a pause, like an inhale waiting to be let go. The TV still flickered in the background, the tail end of some old nature documentary playing.

“Slick!” Rusty waved her over, “Hey, come sit! We saved you a spot.” pointing at the gap on the couch between himself and Lumber.

Hydra smiled at her fondly from his spot on the beanbag closest to the TV, obviously the only one who was paying attention, while Lumber gave her a soft grin from the couch, Porter at his side waved.

Slick’s feet stayed glued to the ground.

“You don’t have to sit there,” Rusty added quickly, “Just, if you want, you could sit anywhere…that’s fine. We missed you.”

Slick turned to Momma, panic starting to rise in her chest again, but Momma just touched her back and murmured, “Breathe.”

So she did, shakingly, but she did.

And then she moved, hesitantly, like she was expecting the concrete under her wheels to collapse, but she sat down on the couch between her brothers, her back straight and not far into the seat like she’d prefer, but sitting on the edge in case she needed to run.

“I forgive you,” Rusty whispered, “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.”

Slick felt her bottom lip begin to tremble, he couldn’t cry here, not now, not with all of them watching, they couldn’t see her as their little sister again, she was the villain. “You should,” Slick whispered back, not looking at him, not looking at anyone, just at her hands in her lap. “You should be mad.”

“Well it wasn’t just your fault,” Porter pointed out with a frown, “There’s no point only blaming yourself.”

Lumber nodded.

Rusty leaned into her slightly, not quite touching but close enough she could feel his warmth. “I was a little mad,” he admitted softly. “I was scared too, but mostly…I was sad because I thought I lost my sister.”

Slick blinked quickly, trying to blink away her tears.

“I missed spending time with you, especially when it was just me and Wrench, all I could think about was you, and how you were feeling.”

“So stop feeling so down and get back to being our annoying little sister,” Lumber chuckled.

Slick let out a shaky breath that turned into a wet laugh. “That was the worst pep talk ever.” the tension in her spine started to melt, just a little. She finally dared to glance at Rusty. He was watching her, eyes soft and open. No fear. No hatred. Just quiet trust.

And when she looked back towards the doorway, Momma was there, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, eyes warm and proud.

For the first time in days, Slick didn’t feel like she had to keep running. She didn’t have to prove anything right this second, didn’t have to scrub the guilt out of her gears all by herself.

She was still Slick, still rough around the edges, still not totally forgiven, not by herself, at least. But surrounded by the people who hadn’t let go of her, even when she messed up badly enough that she thought they would.

So she leaned back, just a little more into the couch. Her shoulder brushed Rusty’s, and he didn’t flinch, Porter started dramatically narrating the nature documentary in a ridiculous voice, and Lumber rolled his eyes, but didn’t stop him. Hydra was humming the music from the credits under his breath. And Slick…Slick let herself smile, just a little, just enough to feel it, It wasn’t perfect, but it was still love.

And they forgave her, even if it would take a long time for Slick to forgive herself and to move on from her habits, but she could do it, she’d do it for them.

#slick the oil tanker #lumber the wood truck #porter the coal truck #hydra the hydrogen truck #rusty the steam engine #momma the steam engine #send prompts #send me prompts #starlight express #stex #writing prompt

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dearest-bucky · 10 months ago

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Take your time - 2

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary : After the one night stand 2 weeks ago, Bucky and Y/n bump into each other in the least expected place.

Words : 2.2K

Warnings : None

A/n : When I wrote the first part I had the entire thing planned out, I knew exactly what I was going to write and how it was going to go; however that plan went to hell and I feel shitty so here you go. This part is more like a filler episode. I think (and hope) there will be one more part after this to put an end to this story. Let me know if you’d like to read more.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! xx

Tagging (as requested) : @sebastians-love

“On your left.”

Bucky groaned as he heard those words, then he felt Sam tap him lightly on his left shoulder. He never understood that inner joke Sam had with Steve, but now that the former Cap was gone, Sam was left with Bucky and kept the joke with him.

“Wilson!” He acknowledged Sam with a short nod, almost too formal, considering they were now friends. They could be considered friends in most days and Bucky was really grateful for Sam and his company, despite the fact that he’d rather cut his right arm as well than tell Sam that.

They were both standing outside a small flower shop inside the mall, acting as if casually spending their time there, however, in reality they had been following a dodgy guy they had information on. It wasn’t a real mission, however it was necessary to follow the guy and see what he was up to.

Bucky had lost him a while ago, not really focused on the task at hand, somewhat distracted from the thoughts in his head, lost in memories of that night from two weeks ago.

“We lost him man.” He heard Sam say, but didn’t respond. “The guys are tracking him down, spotted him heading to the east. There’s nothing left to do here, we should go.” As Sam spoke, he was already focused somewhere else, having seen a familiar figure walk inside the supermarket right across the spot they were standing.

At first, he didn’t believe his eyes, surely it was someone else, because there was no way she just walked inside that supermarket, gently pushing a stroller with a baby in it, talking and smiling to a man, who was holding a toddler from his hand. The boy was old enough to walk on his own, Bucky figured he’d be around 5, but the baby in the stroller was no older than 1 year old.

Sam was still talking but Bucky was solely focused on the scene in front of him. Y/n had just entered the supermarket, with what looked to be her husband and children. Bucky felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of her, then a pang of jealousy wash all over him in waves.

Without even thinking, his legs moved and he was walking in her direction slowly, as if he was afraid his legs would collapse underneath him.

He had been pacing in his room for almost an hour, contemplating if he should call her or not. It had been 3 days since that morning she left him alone in his bed and he hadn’t stopped thinking about her since.

She had closed the door behind her and left as if she had never been there, the only proof of her presence the other night was the smell of her perfume in his sheets. He had buried his head in the pillow she had slept and inhaled slowly, almost still feeling her there.

Now he was still pacing with the phone in his hand, finger hovering over her contact, contemplating if he should call her or not. She had his number as well, he thought, but she hadn’t called him. Maybe she didn’t want to speak to him. Maybe she didn’t want to see him again.

Bucky didn’t want to seem desperate, but he was dying to listen to her voice again, to see her again, to touch her again. A short second later he made up his mind and just clicked on her name, starting the call. He pressed the phone to his ear and waited, heart beating on his chest - and he felt like a teenage boy with a crush all over again.

Ring…

He was just about to give up and hang the call when he finally heard her voice on the other side. “Hey.” She sounded breathless, as if she had run to the phone. “Bucky.” She called his name and he felt his cheeks warm up just from her words.

“How are you doll?” He had finally asked, not wanting to sound like a creep on the phone.

She had answered and asked him how he was doing. Explained she had been working that’s why she sounded out of breath on the phone, she had run downstairs to grab the phone and answer it.

He had smiled at that. Then he had excused himself for calling and asked if he was bothering her.

She had apologised for not calling or texting earlier.

He told her it was okay. Then asked her if he could see her again.

Just as she was about to respond, he heard a cry coming from her side, it sounded like a baby crying. He heard her coo and speak softly to the baby crying and effectively calming the baby down.

He didn’t know what to think. Did she have a baby? Was she babysitting someone? That made sense, considering she just told him she was working.

It finally hit him that he knew nothing about her, who she was or what she did. He just knew that he had to see her again.

“I’m kind of busy this week,” he heard her speak. “Maybe the next one?” She suggested.

He had to leave on a mission on Sunday and he didn’t know when he would get back. He heard her sigh after he explained and in the same time calming the baby she was with.

“Some other time then, when we’re both free.” She said and he agreed with her.

They said their goodbyes and Bucky heard the line disconnect on her end. He put his phone down, kind of disappointed he wouldn’t get to see her sooner. At least she didn’t reject him altogether.

That went good, he thought, clinging to the hope that he would see her soon.

That phone call had been 10 days ago, now Bucky found himself walking behind her at the supermarket, watching how she talked to the man next to her, smiling to the little boy walking close to them.

Sam had called after him, but he dismissed him, telling him to go back to the compound without him.

He heard the baby fussing and starting to cry and Y/n bent down to the stroller, cooing and trying to calm her down. It didn’t work as the baby started crying more and she had to take the baby in her arms, rocking her gently and speaking animatedly to her.

“My baby’s fussy, isn’t she? Mama’s here little munchkin.” She spoke to the baby and Bucky stopped in his tracks. So it was Y/n’s baby.

Apparently she was a mom and she had a husband that was walking close to her and Bucky’s legs couldn’t stop moving anymore.

That’s why she was busy, he thought to himself.

She had a husband and a family and Bucky didn’t understand why she had gone home with him that night. She seemed happy and the man next to her seemed nice enough. So who was she? Why would she cheat on the poor guy?

“Y/n look, it’s the White Wolf!” The kid was speaking animatedly next to her but she was focused on the baby in her arms, trying to calm down her crying.

“What hon?” She asked absent-mindedly and the little boy just tugged her leg and looked in Bucky’s direction.

The man was a few steps ahead of her, pushing the now empty stroller and looking through the shelves on the cereal isle, not paying attention to Y/n and the kids.

Y/n turned around and her breath hitched at the sight of Bucky, not expecting to run into him at this place.

“Go to daddy and help him choose the cereal sweetie.” She spoke to the little boy next to her and he listened and ran to his father. She then felt her feet move towards Bucky, the baby in her arms now calm and curious, as if sensing her mom’s emotions. “Hey, Bucky!” She spoke as she was right in front of him. “This is the last place I thought I would see you.” She half joked and he almost scoffed at that.

“What does that mean?” He asked and Y/n could swear she sensed a note of hostility in his voice.

“How was your mission?” She then asked, not knowing what to answer to his question. The baby in her arms was looking at him intently, as if trying to study him.

Bucky looked back at the baby, she had Y/n’s eyes and the same hair color and he had to fight the smile from his lips from how cute she looked. He saw the baby reach her little hands out to him, as if she wanted to grab him and he gave her a small smile.

“Your daughter?” He then asked Y/n. He wasn’t sure why he was asking because he already knew, but he wanted to hear it from her. She slowly nodded her head, feeling somewhat ashamed that he had seen her here. Her hair was in a low ponytail and her eyes looked tired, more than the last time he had seen her. She was wearing a pair of washed out jeans and a black oversized shirt. She still looked beautiful to him though. She smiled sweetly at the baby and then turned to him and spoke. “Her name is Emma.”

He smiled upon hearing her name and the baby’s eyes turned to her mom as soon as she heard her name, as if she really understood they were talking about her.

“She looks like you.” Bucky commented shortly and he kept looking from her to the baby in her arm, as if trying to find as much similarities between them as possible. He then shifted his eyes to the man a few feet away from them, only to find him there with the little boy and while he had been solely focused on Y/n, another woman and a teenage girl had joined them. He looked back to Y/n then back to the people behind her, then the woman kissed the man’s lips.

Bucky didn’t know what to think anymore, lost in his thoughts while he was still focused on the people behind her.

“Ewwww.” He heard the boy yell and run away laughing, breaking him from his stupor.

“Y/n, we’re moving.” The woman called behind her and left the stroller there for Y/n to take again. Y/n replied with a short okay before turning her attention to Bucky again.

Having sensed his confusion, she was quick to explain. “That’s my older sister.” She then added. “And her husband. And her two kids.” Something then changed in his features, almost as if he finally gathered the pieces to form the puzzle and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“What about your husband?” He then asked. Y/n looked sad upon his question and she could only shake her head in response. Then after a moment she spoke again.

“It’s just me and Emma.” She stated and Bucky thought he misheard her. But she spoke calmly and clearly as she said those words.

Bucky felt a heavy weight lifted from his chest and it was as if he could finally breathe again. But he didn’t know what to say to her anymore.

He shifted in her feet nervously and she could sense his restlessness.

“So, now that you’re back from your mission, maybe we could go out some time?” She asked timidly, almost hesitant.

She didn’t know if he would still want to see her again after finding out she had a baby, but she hoped he would say yes. It had been too long since the last time she was truly happy and the night she spent with him was one of the few times she allowed herself to forget about her problems.

Before she could overthink her question some more, she heard him finally respond. “I would love to. Do you want to grab a cup of coffee now?” He asked.

She looked at Bucky and then at the baby in her arm, then back at Bucky again, as if silently saying to him she couldn’t leave her daughter alone. She took a second more to think about her response before replying with a smile on her face. “Okay, yeah. I’ll just text my sister to let her know .”

She turned around to take the stroller again and put her daughter back, before fishing her phone out of the back pocket of hear jeans and quickly typing in it.

She then turned again to Bucky again and smiled sweetly at him. “There’s a nice coffee place here in the mall if you want.”

“Sure.” He replied, “Lead the way.”

There was some kind of normalcy in the way they walked together, Y/n pushing the stroller gently and Bucky right beside her, as if they’d been doing this forever. Bucky smiled at the thought but quickly dismissed it.

She felt Y/n’s eyes on him and he turned his head to the side to look back at her.

She only smiled at him.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagines

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mrstsugikuni · 2 years ago

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"His moonlight."

Summary:

(name) kibutsuji is the daughter of muzans kibutsuji and out of all his off spring she has proven herself worthy to him. Kokushibo always saw her as distraction since muzan has actually taken a liking to her and actually loved her, he was almost always busy spoiling her and giving her his attention. Kokushibo never understood why until he finally saw what he saw his heart taking it's first beat in 500 years.

This whole story will be in kokus pov. Unless said other wise in one of the chapters!

WARNING: The story itself WILL contain suggestive scenes, and/or sexual encounters. I will put a warning before the scene so you can skip if you're not comfortable. Anyways enjoy the story lovelies 🫶

Chapter 1.

Muzans did it again. He brang his daughter to the meeting. Oh how I hate her with every non living gut in my body, I can't stand her unique eyes, her smile that's almost like the sun, and just everything about her! I'm so sick of her I wish muzans never even saw anything in her and she'd disappear!

I just don't understand, why is she so favored she hasn't been alive that long at all! Just 21 years, so why her from any of us! Why her and not me! She's just like yoriichi and I hate that! Why can't he see she's just like him! It isn't fair.

I bowed before my master, even if I did believe he was being foolish for this girl. But I'm being even more foolish or childish as some would say because of the way I'm acting about this. I mean it's just some girl, nothing more. I just don't understand why he's still keeping her so close like she's 5, she's an adult.

"kokushibo, please refrain yourself from staring at my daughter!" I heard my master, was I staring? I mean I knew I was zoning out from my jealous thoughts but I didn't think I was staring. "Yes, master sorry." I bowed my head to stare at the floor and not his disgusting daughter since I was apparently staring.

"I will be going somewhere for a while, Tomorrow I will decide who shall take care of her and I don't wanna hear any complaints if I choose one of you." Muzans said, and knowing my luck he might choose me since he trusts me more than any of them.

Suddenly I felt a pair of eyes on me, I looked up once more scanning the room for who might be staring and that's when I met her eyes, that brat.

Her face flushed red as she looked away and hid behind her father, I rolled eye's and looked back down not wanting to part take in her childish acts.

I simply wasn't interested.

The meeting was over and muzans had asked for us to get to know her while he went off to think by himself for a bit. It seemed as of tho she wasn't interested in what any of them were talking about but I would find her trying to look for someone probably me, luckily I was hiding.

Without even realizing it, I felt a presence behind me and I knew exactly who it was. "what do you want?" I asked trying to get this useless conversation over with. "Well, my father told me to get to know everyone so that includes you as well!" She gave me her signature smile and I couldn't help but grimace at such a face.

Disgusting. *perfect?* No.

Her eyes fluttered open like a princess under the night sky with moonlight shining on her perfectly shaped face.

Ugly. *Pretty..* No!

Her eyes capturing mine sealing them in as she continued to talk to me in her little sweet voice or what ever.

Obnoxious. *Funny!* NO!

These unwanted comments bubbling in my head piss me off. I hate her more than anything. There isn't a day where I don't think about smashing her head into a wall.

That's when I felt another presence and I snapped out of my thoughts. "Hello, (name)-chan! I missed not being able to talk to you!" Douma said in a voice coated with the sickening fake sweetness he puts on.

"Oh hello douma-san!" Her face lit up at seeing him as she patted the spot next to her.

*should be me...* NO!! SHUT UP!

He sat next to her scooting closer to her, he was almost on top of her it seemed and that's when I felt it.

Anger.

But why? I hate her, why do I feel this, if anything I should be happy cause now she isn't talking to me but I'm not. I want him to disappear and go away. He shouldn't even be near her.

Almost like he knew he was making me angry he put his arm around her and pulled her close. I got up and just walked away. I didn't wanna feel any of that, I didn't understand why I was in the first place. Nothing he was doing felt right but I hate her.

I hate her more than yoriichi.

I continued to walk around the infinity castle trying to figure out why I was feeling such an emotion when he was near her. But nothing I couldn't think straight.

"Kokushibo-dono~." Great the bastard followed me. "What do you need?" I asked him obviously showing signs I was annoyed with him. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok, you just got up and left." He said smirking.

"Nakime, teleport me to my home."

I was in the safety of my home, away from him, and away from her. "Maybe some meditation will help me calm my nerves and figure out why I was acting in such a way." I walked outside where the mist ran thick and no human dare go, the silence was overpowering, and the trees blew in the wind.

"What a lovely night." I sat in a patch of grass, and gazed at the moon before closing my eyes and taking in deep breaths.

My mind couldn't stop thinking about her.

Her smile, her eyes, her voice, and her lips.

I shouldn't be thinking of her in such a way, but something keeps pulling me closer to these thoughts.

When she was younger I never had these thoughts I hated her, wished she would die. But when she turned 18.. everything changed. I started getting weird thoughts, unwanted ones.

It was almost like it was her blood demon art.

Hallucinations? Mind control? Just messing with ones brain in general? I don't know and perhaps I never will.

But there isn't a day she isn't on my mind, and there isn't a day I'm not begging for her death. I need to figure all this out, I need to find out why I get such thoughts, maybe muzans knows but he doesn't have time for such a foolish question.

#kokushibo x reader #kny x you #kokushibo #upper moons x reader

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theonethatwatchesalotofshows · 1 month ago

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Every That 70s Show episode ranked

since I love to procrastinate and am chronically online, let's rank every single That 70s Show episode. I don't think this has been done before.

Fever dream

The entirety of season 8. I am not even going to rank them, they're all equally bad as far as I'm concerned. I am convinced that this season is just a fever dream that Eric suffered when he caught malaria in Africa.

The Bad

178. Eric's Hot Cousin (4x14) - I can't even believe this was allowed to air. I hate these 00s weird cousin fucking storylines with such a passion, I can't even believe that it's a real trope. What was happening in 2001? Friends did a similar episode around that time and it's also a skip there.

177. A New Hope (1x20)- it pains me to have to put a season 1 episode so low but I have already ranted about this extensively. Shoehorned in, forced and contrived conflict, and cliffhangers that were never properly and satisfyingly resolved. It all felt like a Star Wars commercial and if you skip it you miss nothing from the plot.

176. Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too Young to Die (3x04)- I know that this is an extremely unpopular opinion but I never understood the appeal of this episode. It also just feels like a long hommage to Alfred Hitchcock that adds nothing to the plot. Skip.

175. Winter (7x11)- this actually does add to the plot but in a bad way- by making Hyde act like an immature jerk so that Jackie has a reason to break up with him in the next episode.

174. Gimme Shelter (7x20)- Hyde (and everyone) is once again a jerk to Jackie by refusing to attend her graduation party.

173. Beast of the Burden (7x04)- Eric takes up catching butterflies. I wish I was making this up

172. Angie (7x08)- Eric takes up another ridiculous hobby and Hyde's sister was annoying

171. Don't Lie to Me (7x12)- Jackie and Hyde really didn't have to break up this many times

170. (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (7x03)- more pointless Eric shenanigans

169. Going Mobile (6x24)- Donna decides to live in a van with Eric

168. It's a Wonderful Life (4x01)- a completely unnecessary dream sequence episode. What bothers me the most is that some people actually believe that all the stuff from Eric's dream would have happened if Donna hadn't kissed him that one night.

The Meh

167. The Seeker (6x25)- Eric leaves Donna at the altar and she forgives him in two minutes

166. Time Is on My Side (7x01)- Donna pretends to be a cool girl that's not at all mad that Eric left her at the altar and now wants to sell her engagement ring, while Eric turns into a complete spoiled brat

165. Young Man Blues (6x09)- a complete filler episode

164. Squeeze Box (6x20)- Donna is mad that Eric went on a date with another girl while they were broken up and Red and Hyde are horny for Pam. Ew

163. I'm a Boy (6x08)

162. Happy Jack (6x17)

161. Man With Money (6x16)

160. Who Are You? (6x15)

159. Substitute (6x19)

158. It's Only Rock and Roll (7x05)

157. Rip This Joint (7x06)

156. We're Not Gonna Take It (6x06)

155. I Can See for Miles (6x11)

154. Baby Don't You Do It (6x14)

153. Take It or Leave It (7x23)

152. 2000 Light Years from Home (7x22)

151. Short and Curlies (7x24)

150. 2120 So. Michigan Ave (7x21)

149. Till The Next Goodbye (7x25)

148. Down the Road Apiece (7x17)

147. 5:15 (6x21)

146. It's All Over Now (7x15)

145. Mother's Little Helper (7x07)

144. On with the Show (7x16)

143. Street Fighting Man (7x14)

142. You Can't Always Get What You Want (7x09)

141. Surprise, Surprise (7x10)

140. Let's Spend the Night Together (7x02)

139. Won't Get Fooled Again (6x13)

138. I'm Free (6x05)

137. Join Together (6x02)

136. A Legal Matter (6x10)

135. The Kids Are Alright (6x01)

134. Sally Simpson (6x12)

133. Do You Think It's Alright? (6x18)

132. Sparks (6x22)

131. My Wife (6x23)

130. Class Picture (4x20)

129. Christmas (6x07)

128. Who's Been Sleeping Here (7x19)

127. Oh Baby, (We Got a Good Thing Goin') (7x18)

The Good

126. Donna's Story (4x08)

125. Uncomfortable Ball Stuff (4x07)

124. Who Wants It More? (3x11)

123. Donna's Panties (3x15)

122. Nobody's Fault but Mine (5x23)

121. Promise Ring (3x25)

120. Hyde's Christmas Rager (3x09)

119. Eric's Drunken Tattoo (3x22)

118. Eric's Naughty No-No (3x19)

117. Romantic Weekend (3x16)

116. The Battle of Evermore (5x17)

115. When the Levee Breaks (5x15)

114. Everybody Loves Casey (4x26)

113. Bye Bye Basement (4x05)

112. The Relapse (4x06)

111. Whole Lotta Love (5x16)

110. Trampled Under Foot (5x21)

109. Heartbreaker (5x04)

108. An Eric Forman Christmas (4x12)

107. Thank You (5x08)

106. Roller Disco (3x06)

105. Radio Daze (3x14)

104. Eric's False Alarm (4x25)

103. Donna Dates a Kelso (4x16)

102. Can't You Hear Me Knocking (7x13)

101. Kelso's Career (4x17)

100. Tornado Prom (4x15)

99. Hyde Gets the Girl (4x04)

98. Eric's Depression (4x02)

97. Eric's Corvette Caper (4x22)

96. Love, Wisconsin Style (4x27)

95. The Third Wheel (4x11)

94. Leo Loves Kitty (4x18)

93. The Trials of Michael Kelso (3x18)

92. The Girl I Love (5x11)

91. You Shook Me (5x22)

90. Holy Craps! (3x20)

89. The Crunge (5x10)

88. Ramble On (5x05)

87. Hey, Hey, What Can I Do? (5x18)

86. No Quarter (5x20)

85. Hot Dog (5x07)

84. Black Dog (5x09)

83. Kiss of Death (2x20)

82. Hunting (2x13)

81. The Forgotten Son (4x09)

80. Prank Day (4x21)

79. Backstage Pass (3x24)

78. Hyde's Birthday (4x23)

77. Red and Stacey (4x10)

76. Fez Dates Donna (3x21)

75. The Canadian Road Trip (3x23)

74. Kitty's Birthday (Is That Today?!) (3x17)

73. Fez Gets The Girl (3x12)

72. Baby Fever (3x07)

71. Hyde's Father (3x03)

70. Ice Shack (3x10)

69. Over The Hills and Far Away (5x06)

68. Bring It On Home (5x19)

67. Immigrant Song (5x24)

66. What is and What Should Never Be (5x03)

65. Your Time Is Gonna Come (5x13)

64. Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You (5x14)

63. That '70s Musical (4x24)

62. Pinciotti vs Forman (4x03)

61. Jackie Says Cheese (4x13)

60. I Can't Quit You, Baby (5x02)

59. Jackie's Cheese Squeeze (4x19)

58. Eric's Panties (3x06)

57. Misty Mountain Hop (5x12)

56. Dine and Dash (3x13)

55. Celebration Day (5x25)

54. Holy Crap! (2x23)

53. Jackie Moves On (2x22)

52. Halloween (2x05)

51. Burning Down the House (2x15)

50. Moon Over Point Place (2x26)

49. Eric's Stash (2x12)

48. The First Time (2x16)

47. I Love Cake (2x07)

46. Parents Find Out (2x19)

45. The Acid Queen (6x04)

44. Red's Last Day (2x02)

43. Afterglow (2x17)

42. The Velvet Rope (2x03)

41. Red's New Job (2x14)

40. Eric Gets Suspended (2x09)

39. That Wrestling Show (1x15)

38. Thanksgiving (1x09)

37. The First Date (1x16)

36. Drive-In (1x08)

35. Stolen Car (1x14)

34. Eric's Burger Job (1x05)

33. The Best Christmas Ever (1x12)

32. Sunday, Bloody Sunday (1x10)

31. Reefer Madness (3x01)

30. Red Sees Red (3x02)

29. Prom Night (1x19)

28. Eric's Buddy (1x11)

27. Punk Chick (1x22)

26. Garage Sale (2x01)

25. Water Tower (1x21)

24. The Good Son (1x25)

23. Red's Birthday (2x10)

22. Laurie Moves Out (2x11)

21. Hyde Moves In (1x24)

20. Kitty and Eric's Night Out (2x18)

19. Eric's Birthday (1x02)

18. The Battle of the Sexists (1x04)

17. The Keg (1x06)

16. Grandma's Dead (1x23)

15. Sleepover (2x08)

14. Kelso's Serenade (2x21)

13. Magic Bus (6x03)

12. Laurie and the Professor (2x04)

11. Vanstock (2x06)

The Gold

10. Ski Trip (1x13)- cosy classic season 1 episode

9. Streaking (1x03)- an underrated classic. I miss when this show had sociopolitical overtones. It got lost in the later seasons.

8. Career Day (1x18)- not much happens that advances the plot but we get insights into each character's home life and parents.

7. Red Fired Up (2x24)- another underrated classic. This episode is so quintessential That 70s Show- Red yelling at people, everyone roasting Kelso... also that split screen with Kitty and Laurie/ Kelso and Hyde was gold.

6. That Disco Episode (1x07)- this is the most 70s That 70s Show episode ever and I am here for it.

5. That 70s Pilot (1x01)- the pilot was very strong and felt like the show had a sense of self from the start.

4. The Pill (1x17)- another sociopolitical and feminist episode. Also the episode where Jackie dumps Kelso which is always fun.

3. Going to California (5x01) - since I am looking at this show with my Zenmasters shipping goggles, this one gets a spot with the top three.

2. Jackie Bags Hyde (3x08)- the episode with my OTP's first kiss! Of course this is going to be high up.

1. Cat Fight Club (2x25)- a classic quintessential That 70s Show episode and also a comfort episode. If I wanted to sell someone this show I would show them this one (ok maybe the Pilot first but this is a close second)

#that 70s show

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wildflower-otome · 2 years ago

Text

[Translation] Clover on Kuni no Alice ~White Calling~ - Chapter 5

ACT 5 - Accelerating blue heart beat

Just as Boris had said, once she had experienced one assembly, she now understood all too well what they were like.

Watching Nightmare's flustered chairmanship continue even past the second discussion, she thought to herself that his aide Gray must be having quite the hard time.

The speeches he gave were faltering, and there were many occasions where just when she had thought he was doing a little better, he would vomit blood and end up having to be taken to the hospital.

However, it appeared that the pact was effective, despite the longstanding bad blood between Heart Castle and Hatter Mansion, no one took out their guns, despite being under the same roof together. It did not seem as if either Blood or Vivaldi intended to openly break the rules.

Even so, that strained atmosphere wasn’t good for her health. It wouldn’t be wholly unexpected for someone to say something careless that could become the spark to set off an explosive situation.

Despite her mental exhaustion, Alice did not stop attending the assemblies. Blood and Elliot had said that if it tired her out that much, it wouldn’t bother them if she were to skip out, but for now Alice’s perfect attendance continued.

‘.....I wonder if Peter is alright.’

What was on her mind was the White Rabbit, sitting in the Heart Castle seating area.

About ten time periods had passed since the attack. As she gazed at him from the Hatter Family section, Alice was unable to tell the state of the injuries on his body, hidden as it was by a thick coat.

The time she had spent in this world was not of short duration. She already knew that dirt and injuries would return to normal on their own.

But, even if she knew that in her head, whether her emotions had caught up to that fact was another matter entirely.

Perhaps he had already fully healed. Or maybe he was still wounded, but suppressing the pain.

Attending the assembly as a member of Heart Castle, Peter was having his usual war of words with Ace and Vivaldi. If she judged just from that, he was the same as always.

‘.....Maybe it would be better if I were to go and see him….’

Luckily, the discussion had finished just at that moment. There was still some time until the next one.

Back then, Alice had been in shock, and hadn’t been able to even say thank you. Even though he had protected her twice, she must have seemed so ungrateful. She couldn’t help but sigh with self-loathing, again and again.

Just as she had made up her mind and stood up from the sofa that her room had been furnished with, opening the door in order to go outside-

‘Big sister, big sister-! Where are you going? If you’re going out, come play with us. We’ve just started our break.’

‘Yeah…..we were finally able to see Big Sis, Brother. Hey, come play with us.’

‘-!?’

Just as she had opened the door, two young men had tumbled in, with the same kind of momentum as if they had broken through it. Alice, who had instinctively retreated, ended up backtracking into her room once more.

‘.....? Who are you?’

The ones before Alice’s eyes were two men with similar looking gazes. Both had black hair but eyes of different colours. The black suits they wore were alike enough to be mirror images of each other.

However, it did not appear that they had heard Alice’s question.

‘We’ve been doing nothing but work…..It’s about time we just start ignoring the rules. We’re fiiinally on our break. We’ve been working hard because we wanted to play with you, Sis. You’ll praise us, won’t you?’

The young man with straight hair tied behind him spoke enthusiastically.

The other youth standing next to him listening also nodded his head and continued. His hair was short, his bangs held back a little by some hair pins. Arranged in a cross shape, the pins stood out against the black hair.

The faces of the two young men looked very alike. If it weren’t for their hairstyles and the way they spoke, they were similar enough she wouldn’t have been able to tell them apart.

‘It’s not fair…..you gotta give us lots of special treatment, or we’ll have worked so hard all for nothing.’

And then, the moment they had finished saying what they had wanted to say, the two reached out their hands towards Alice.

‘Wh-.....wh-what are you doing!?’

The youth with the long hair wrapped his arms around the girl’s waist as the man with the short hair grabbed her hands as she tried to move around.

‘Hey-…..What are you doing?! Let me go!’

As the girl frantically twisted her body around trying to escape from the two pairs of arms that were touching her, the faces of the two men looked surprised. Though it was written on their faces that they didn’t understand why she was reacting this way, the whole situation was too much for Alice.

Two men she didn’t know had appeared out of nowhere all of a sudden and had clung onto her as if it were only very natural…..to fight back was an obvious decision. Considering the attack that had happened not so long ago, it was only a given she would have her guard up.

Nonetheless, it appeared they had taken her reaction in a different way.

‘Eh? Huh? Why are you struggling? Was I too forceful? Sorry, we became adults for the first time in a while, so I haven’t quite got the hang of my strength yet. If I hurt you, I’ll apologise, I’m sorry.’

As the long-haired one apologised, he slowly let go of her.

On the other hand, the youth standing next to him bent his head closer.

‘I’ll be gentle. I won’t hurt you at all. Alright? So don’t flail around so much.’

So speaking, unlike the young man from earlier, he embraced her gently. Although there was no feeling of pressure, it still didn’t change the fact she was being hugged.

‘-! Let me go-! …..Stop it!’

It didn’t appear that he understood the reason why she was trying to free herself. The two youths looked at each other, as if communicating through eye contact that they didn’t get what was happening. Alice couldn’t help but be more mystified by the fact that they were unable to comprehend why she was acting this way.

‘Huh-.....Does it still hurt, Big Sis? But I’m being so gentle…..’

‘I’m not struggling because it hurts-!’

She wondered if they thought she wouldn’t feel anything at all at being embraced by two men she didn’t know. The place she was living at was a mafia gang’s headquarters to be sure, but it couldn’t be anything but humiliating to have someone think her a woman so lacking in pride.

‘What is wrong with you two!? What are you playing at, coming into a person’s room and doing something like this!?’

The attack from that night was still very vivid in her mind. She would like to think that they wouldn’t point a gun at her since they were being all clingy like this, but in this world what Alice thought was common sense wasn’t always the case for everyone else.

She asked her question firmly, but at the exact same time, the two of them opened their eyes wide.

‘.....Big Sis, what are you saying?’

‘Don’t you know who we are?’

Hearing them speak as if she were the strange one, Alice at last snapped. She was exhausted from the assembly and now this unexpected situation and ended up shouting in a louder voice than usual.

‘I don’t know you, of course I don’t know who you are!’

When she yelled in a loud voice that was unbefitting of a lady, the two youths hung their heads, looking despondent.

Before she had realised it, the short-haired youth had let go of Alice as well. Still with sad looking expressions on their faces, they quietly looked down at Alice.

‘............Huh?’

Seeing their completely depressed looking faces, she at last stopped moving around.

Now that she thought about it, there was something familiar about their expressions.

They were faces she had seen any number of times. And when she had seen these faces, it was never just one of them. Always the two of them together, twins she thought of as little brothers—young boys.

In the past, Alice had scolded them whenever they had gone too far with the practical jokes. They were clever children, who could tell the difference between when she spoke to keep them in check, and when she was truly angry. And when they realized they had done something bad, they always had the same look on their faces as just now.

They apologized to her, with faces that looked sad, as if they’d had a shock.

‘Big sister is mad at me, brother…..was I really that rough? She’s mad at me because of that, isn’t she? Did it hurt, big sister?’

The youth with the hair tied up with a blue ribbon asked if worried.

At the same time, the shorthaired youth knelt down, lowering his gaze so that he was at eye level with Alice.

‘Big sister, are you alright? Where does it hurt? Tell me where and I’ll massage it for you.’

Timidly, not with the unrestraint of before…..the youth touched Alice’s body as if he were handling something broken.

‘Could it be…..are you two Dee and Dum..?’

It was impossible, she wondered if this was a good or bad thing in a Wonder World that didn’t follow ordinary common sense.

But, the red and blue eyes she gazed into belonged to the boys that she knew well.

Calling her “big sister” was also one of their habits.

As Alice nervously asked them, the youths again looked puzzled. It was obvious from their expressions that they were wondering why she would ask them such a thing.

‘? What are you talking about, big sister? Why would you ask that now?’

‘That’s right, big sister. Are you asking because you’re mad? Do you hate us now?’

Speaking one after another as they tilted their heads in confusion, they stared at Alice as if to guess the answer from her expression.

However, Alice also wanted to ask them a question in return.

‘…Why do you look like grown ups?’

She spoke so as to enquire the reason, and also to ask how they had done it, but those intentions half-heartedly ending up mixing together.

In Alice’s mind, they should have been shorter than her. With strength that didn’t suit their small bodies, they would innocently cling on to her, or get her mixed up in their dangerous games. A pair of twins who combined cuteness with the cruelty that only children had, that was Dee and Dum.

Seeing Alice’s surprise, the two blinked at the same time, again as if they had pre-planned it. The differently coloured eyes closed at the same time, and then opened again.

‘Why, I wonder why…..Big sister, don’t you know? Don’t you know without having to ask?’

Excitedly, as if enjoying himself, the long haired man opened his mouth, with a look on his face like that of a child planning a prank. From the fact that his tie was coloured blue, perhaps it was correct to see him as Dee.

And if that was the case, that would mean the other person, with the short hair and red tie, was Dum.

‘You see, we became adults so that you would like us, big sister. We thought if we became older, you’d fall in love with us.’

‘So that I’d like you…why?

Alice had already liked them to start with. Even when she got dragged into their dangerous games, she thought they were adorable, and even now she thought that she liked them well enough.

As important family members.

But she didn’t feel that way just towards them. Blood and Elliot, and even the servants who were the so-called faceless, all the people of Hatter Mansion were important existences to her.

‘But…..we heard you often go to the doors in the Forest recently. We were worried. That you might end up leaving…We don’t want you to go anywhere, big sister.’

‘Huh?’

‘If you come to like us more and more…..you won’t go to the doors anymore, will you? Right, big sister?’

Before she had realized it, the hand that had been rubbing her back was now holding Alice’s hand. It was a hand that was bigger than it had been before, and a sturdy looking one. It had once been about the same size as Alice’s, but now had grown large enough to envelop her’s.

‘We want you to like us, big sister, so we grew up. You like grown up guys like the Boss, right? So, what do you think? Do you like us more?’

‘If you like us big sister, we’ll stay as adults forever. Which do you prefer?’

To be asked to make such an important decision right here and now only put Alice at a loss. In any case, to suddenly be looked down on by gazes that up until now had always been at the same level of her own made her feel uncomfortable.

‘More importantly, how did you become adults? It must have been difficult right?’

As she changed the subject in a fluster, the twin gatekeepers answered as if it were no big deal.

‘”How” you ask…..We went forwards. We wanted to be adults, so we just went forward a little.’

‘”Just”…..you’re acting like it’s so easy…..’

As she tilted her head quizzically at Dee’s unconcerned answer, Dum, who had let go of her hand, continued to grin broadly.

‘It’s easy, you know? All we do is just go backwards and forwards. It’s not difficult at all. Should I go back?’

As quickly as he had spoken, he turned back into the form of a child. There were no flashes of light or smoke like there were in fairytales. Even though he had changed form in an instant, he didn’t act as if it were particularly anything special.

‘Simple, right? We can do stuff like this easily. So, we can always become whichever way you prefer.’

And then the blue military uniformed boy appeared. While at the same time Dum returned to adult form, he continued to grin.

‘It’s really easy, and something anyone can do. All of us role holders can. Whenever you wish it, we can change into whatever form you like. Hey, doesn’t that make you happy?’

And then once more the red military uniform wearer returned to boy form. The change was fast, like in a magic show or a slide of film, but without a trick or mechanism to it, just as they had said.

‘Which do you prefer, big sister? Adult form or child form, which is better? We can become either.’

‘…..…….’

‘We’ll become what you like, big sister. What’s most important is having you like us, after all.’

So spoke the twin boys wearing the different colours, as they swapped forms again. She somehow got the feeling that they enjoyed the changing itself.

‘Just as nonsensical as always…..’

Alice murmured her thoughts to herself, but they likely did not hear. They were amusing themselves by repeatedly changing, becoming adults, and then children, over and over.

Seeing that they were still the same whether in adult or child form, Alice’s shoulders at last relaxed.

‘…..But, they were worried for me.’

Even though she had never talked to them about the Forest doors before. She thought Blood had found out because of his good instincts, but she hadn’t thought that even they would have been able to see through her.

The twins were adorable and cruel…..but for all that, kind.

As she fondly watched over their playing, Dee in his adult form ran up to her as if he had remembered something.

‘Ah, and another thing, big sis. Thanks for the pudding you brought back for us the other day. It was really yummy! We ended up not being able to wait until our break and ate it straight away.’

‘Yeah…it was yummy. It tasted even better when I thought about the fact that it was from you. Thanks.’

When they received something, they properly gave their thanks. They likely remembered that Alice had previously said she liked well mannered children. She smiled happily back.

‘Really? I’m glad it made you happy.’

Even if they thought that they didn’t want her to go to the Forest’s doors, they wouldn’t stop her. They would let Alice do as she pleased.

But even so, so that she wouldn’t go away, to tie her here…..she hadn’t thought they would say that they wanted her to like them.

In this world Alice was a rare Outsider and therefore had the qualities to become easily liked. It was because of that she was able to live in this world.

Unable to completely accompany the twins in their games, Alice was powerless and weak. But even so, the two of them had said they wanted her to like them. There was no way that wouldn’t make her happy.

‘Dee, Dum.’

‘Hm? What is it, big sis?’

‘Has something happened?’

Even though they were now bigger, the gazes that looked at her were exactly the same. They sometimes went a little too far with their pranks, but to Alice they were the kind twins that she treasured, and who couldn’t be replaced.

‘Thank you.’

‘? You’re being weird, sis. We’re the ones who received a gift, so why would you say thank you?’

‘Or could it be, we did something to you without realizing it?’

As the two of them tilted their heads as if puzzled, Alice repeated herself while continuing to smile.

‘I just thought to myself what good children you two are. That’s why I said thank you.’

As she reached out her hand to pat the heads of the youths who looked blankly confused, Alice quietly closed her eyes.

***

The assembly period continued on at a sluggish pace, even after that. The event holder was the sickly dream demon after all. And not just that, the gathering was made up of the fiercely individualistic role holders. Unifying them would already have been tough work, but since the man in charge was the kind of person to constantly be coughing up blood, things never seemed to get done.

To begin with, as Blood had said, it wasn’t as if the assemblies had any set topics of discussion. If the agenda was only going to be a hollow one anyway, Alice thought to herself they may as well not hold the event to begin with, but apparently that was something she could not say.

In this area, though the rules of this world might have a compelling force, and though she may want to do something about what couldn’t be changed, there was nothing to be done. The reason why was because the Hatter and Queen continued to attend, with seemingly no intention of breaking the rules, despite declaring that it was fine to do so sometimes.

But there was something else that was bothering Alice much more than that.

‘…..?’

All role holders stayed in Clover Town during the Assembly period. Of course, that meant it wasn’t out of the ordinary for her to meet with familiar faces while in town, but there was something different about this.

Alice felt a gaze on her different from the ones she had felt during the time she had spent walking around town with Boris before the Assembly. Whether it was a malicious one or not…..since it was a distant presence she wasn’t sure, but even so she knew that someone was following her.

It wasn’t the type of gaze she had grown familiar with due to being with the Hatter Mansion group which included Blood. Those gazes were ones of curiosity and fear towards the infamous Mafia. She never felt them when she was by herself.

However…..right now, although she was walking around the town alone, she knew that there was someone watching her.

It was likely she was being tailed.

‘…..…….’

There was no one who would feel comfortable being followed around by someone they couldn’t see. It was simply creepy.

It was likely that Blood and the others would take care of it immediately if she were to say something to them. However….she didn’t really want to think about what kind of result that would entail. If someone was following her with a clear malicious or antagonistic intent, Alice would act decisively, however if they were just sounding her out, she hesitated to be a tattletale.

Given the attack that had taken place not long before, it appeared there was something happening in the vicinity of Clover Tower. Apparently, it was not just a place for influential people to meet and hold discussions with no substance.

It wasn’t as if she had not thought of asking someone from the Mansion. However, Alice wasn’t sure whether it was something that it was alright for her to ask about.

Alice had never before pried deeply into the darker side of the Mafia. The things she knew were only inoffensive and surface-level, however she wondered if it was something that was really ok for her to deliberately involve herself with.

To begin with, she was just a free-loader. It hadn’t taken her long to realise even the fact that she had been welcomed as a guest at Hatter Mansion was in and of itself unprecedented.

Alice was happy that they had accepted her despite her powerlessness. She was grateful for Blood’s kindness in giving her a job, despite not being good with people in general. If she were to tell the man himself that he would likely look disgusted, but to Alice, the job he had given her was even now one of the things she could not lose.

She thought that she liked Hatter Mansion. She wanted to stay there forever.

Her place with them was where she had chosen to stay in this world, they were her family.

Even so—she was conscious of their world of shady dealings as a frightening one. She instinctively avoided it as something she didn’t want to see, and that she shouldn’t see. She was aware that this way of doing things was dishonest, but it was the only thing she could do since it was already too late for her to be able to put distance between them now.

‘If you don’t want to see it, there is no need to force yourself to. It is a normal reaction for a young lady like you. It isn’t necessary for you to feel down on yourself.’

She wondered how long it had been since she had been told that.

At that time, she was still in the Country of Hearts—having just returned from his “work”, Blood had had the usual lethargic looking smile on his face.

He had continued as he took off his coat, which was covered in sticky looking stains that were likely blood splatter from his opponents.

‘If you say that you don’t wish to know, you may stay unaware. For us, having you stay here is meaningful in and of itself.’

The words that the Hatter Mansion boss had quietly said even now whirled around and around inside Alice’s mind.

‘It’s been pretty dangerous recently….’

‘….Yeah. Apparently it’s a feud between rivals. According to rumours, two Mafia groups are fighting against each other…..and one of them is the Hatter Family.’

‘Huh?’

Perhaps because she had been lost in thought, she was slow to react. Hearing the familiar name, her whole body changed direction.

And before her as she turned around were the two women who had been whispering town gossip. They were normal people whose faces were difficult to see, those called the non-role holders.

As Alice drew nearer to them in a fluster, the two of them raised their voices saying, ‘Ah-’, as if surprised. She had walked around this area with Blood and the others before, so they likely knew who Alice was.

Alice did not plan on letting go of this opportunity.

‘Excuse me. Would I be able to ask you a few questions?’

‘Uh-…..um, that is-‘

‘We don’t really….’

Just because they had lowered their voices to a murmur, it did not erase their whispering from earlier.

To push her point, Alice smiled at the two of them and repeated herself again.

‘I’d like to ask you a bit more about what you were talking about just now.’

It appeared that in times like these being labelled as a member of the notorious Hatter Mansion came in handy. The two women looked around them warily before speaking in a wrung out tone.

‘No, we only know the rumours…..not really anything concrete.'

‘I’m fine with that.’

If I was Elliot I might have started shooting a long time ago, you know?

With those dangerous thoughts in her mind, Alice irritably urged them to continue.

‘Please tell me the rest. What’s happening with the Hatter Family?’

‘Um…..’

‘…..That is-…..We don’t know the details but…’

The women looked at each other, then as if they had given up, spoke reluctantly.

‘This is just a rumour, you know? We’ve heard that another Mafia group has started a feud with the Hatter Family.’

‘…..A feud?’

Not only was he a territory leader that vied for land, Blood was also a man who led a Mafia Family as its head. And speaking of Mafia, it was likely not an unusual thing for there to be run-ins with other organizations over material goods and information.

Although Alice had not been directly involved, it was likely there had been many such disputes up until now.

Seeing Alice’s expression look doubtful, the woman lowered her voice and spoke further.

‘Did you know that there have been some bombing incidents in Clover Town recently?’

‘…..Bombings…!?’

Hearing the dangerous sounding words, Alice’s voice naturally lowered too.

As the woman nodded, she continued to speak in hushed tones.

***

‘…..…..’

That night, Alice went to the café that she and Blood had gone to before.

As she was by herself, she was given a seat at the counter, not at a table. However, a certain type of black tea in hand, Alice was thinking about something else entirely.

Ever since the Assembly had begun, she had definitely had a strange feeling that something was off.

Back then, the now grown-up twins had appeared in front of Alice for the first time, but before then, she had never seen them attending the Assembly. This was despite the fact that as role holders, they had a duty to attend.

She wondered where they had been going during that time.

Supposing they had been participating in the Assembly from a spot where Alice could not see them, why would they have done so?

‘…..…..’

They had become adults because they had wanted her to like them. While remembering the blue and red gazes that had looked at her as they had said that, Alice sighed.

Perhaps they had been in the middle of “work” during those times too, and were late in arriving to the venue. As could be seen from looking at the other participants, Alice knew that the purpose of the Assemblies were not the discussions, but the fact that they had participated.

The twin’s empty seats during the discussions. Even since they had become adults, they now occupied them, but what had they been doing before that?

“It’s because the Hatter Family members have made their appearance due to it being an Assembly period. The reason the bombings began…..and pretty frequent ones at that.”

What the gossip loving women had said echoed in her ears.

‘…..…..’

Right now, she was unable to tell even if the steaming tea she had just taken a sip of tasted the same as it had back then.

Though the warm tea should have warmed her body, right now it was the bitterness spreading throughout her mouth that was on her mind.

What Elliot and the Twins had said regarding the Assembly period. The meaning of it had at last sunk in. She wondered why she was always so slow to realise.

The capable number 2 had let slip that things would get busy.

Hadn’t the Gatekeepers also said that they wouldn’t be able to take breaks anymore?

‘I’m such an idiot.’

If she had listened more closely to the information circulating throughout town, she would have been able to realise much sooner that the women’s gossip was not simply something they had made up.

During the Assembly period, though Blood had made it seem he was spending his time in the room allotted to him as temporary accommodation with the same languidness as always, he had secretly been planning his dealings with other organisations. There was surely no man as talented as he when it came to moving dangerous business deals and negotiations in an extremely advantageous direction for himself. She suspected he must be busy in a different way than when he had been at the Mansion.

‘…..…..’

She was the only one for whom it was different.

When she was at the Mansion, she had been able to work amongst the maids, but here at the Tower, there was no work for her to do. There was nothing she could do.

She felt pathetic and frustrated at the same time.

‘..Haah.’

Though they lived in the same territory and went to the same places, it likely couldn’t be helped that she remained unable to do the same things they did.

She wondered if it was really alright for her to leave things at that.

As she took a quick look around her, perhaps because she had come right at a time when not many people came, Alice realized she was the only customer.

Gazing at the cakes in the showcase, she remembered Elliot’s reaction when she had passed out the gifts she had brought back.

‘Wow….is this carrot cake from that cafe!? I’d heard they didn’t make many, so they were pretty hard to get hold of…..so you bought some for me, Alice! I’m so moved-‘

His brown ears standing straight up, he raised his voice, not hiding his happiness. Even so, at least from the fact that he hadn’t crushed the cake through over-enthusiasm, it appeared he still had some reason remaining.

‘What…..what a lucky guy I am…..Blood, look at it! Here, right here, this delicious looking cake! Alice picked it out just for me-!’

‘Uh…..strictly speaking, Blood was the one that paid for it….’

Alice interjected thinking that at this rate, she would be the one made to take all the credit, but it appeared she had made a blunder.

‘Blood…..What…..what a great guy you are!! That you’d give me the delicious cake you must have wanted to eat yourself! You’re the best boss there is-! Nightmare hasn’t got a thing on you.’

His eyes shining like a child’s, Elliot was clearly moved. The purity of his emotion was to a level where it was hard to believe he was part of the Mafia, even if you knew that he was.

‘…..Ugh-‘

It was enough to make even Blood, who had been in a bad mood ever since the gun fight groan despite himself. That was how strong an effect it had.

‘That’s it, instead I’ll give you my carrot cookies! Cake is nice too, but these are pretty good. Here, take them-!‘

‘No, Elliot…..your consideration is actually a real pain in the-….wait, that’s not what I-‘

The strained excuses of the Hatter trying somehow to avoid the heartfelt gift from his trusted confidant went on for quite a while, she thought.

That time too, Elliot had also just returned from work…..he had just finished up with some complicated looking documents. She had thought they were probably written reports, but they were in the middle of a feud. She was unable to think they were completely unrelated.

‘…..…..’

As she drank the remaining tea, Alice at last began to move.

Nothing would come of it no matter how much she worried. She stood up decisively, paid the bill and left the café.

Her surroundings were enveloped in a pale orange light. It would soon be evening. Before this it had been night, and before that evening as well.

If she remembered correctly, the next discussion was in three afternoons, so she likely still had a bit of time.

She moved slightly away from the café and began to walk.

‘…..Huh?’

It was like a repeat of what had happened before.

‘…..!’

Men she had not seen before stood there blocking Alice’s way. They stood there silently, unnoticed by her until just now.

As Alice panicked and turned away from them, it was the same in the other direction. Except for the wall, groups of them stood side by side in each direction.

‘…..…..’

She was surrounded.

As a horrible feeling rose within her, one man brandished a gun.

The end of the gun was pointed at the left side of her chest.

‘You’re the Outsider from Hatter Mansion, right?’

‘…..What a rude way to address a lady.’

‘You’re coming with us.’

The men did not speak more than necessary. Not reacting to Alice’s provocation, their dispassionate movements as they moved to accomplish their objective seemed almost mechanical.

At the very least, it did not appear they planned on doing anything to her here, but if she were to go with them, she was unable to think it would end well. This world wasn’t the kind of place for such optimistic thinking.

She took a discreet glance at the clothing the men were wearing, but as she had thought, they weren’t the same as any she had seen anyone at the Castle or Tower wearing. The fact that they were black suits was the only thing they had in common with the Assembly participants, but the emblems on them were ones Alice did not know.

‘…..…..’

There was no guarantee she would be safe if she went with them, but if she resisted here, she would likely just be shot. As Alice had not yet answered, the man’s finger was already stretching out towards the trigger.

‘…..Alright. I just have to go with you, right?’

She would likely be causing Blood and the others trouble, but it would all be for nothing if she got shot here. It wouldn’t just be herself in danger, she didn’t want to imagine her carelessness causing the feud with the Hatter Family to worsen.

Bang!

At the moment Alice had reluctantly been about to follow them, a shot rang out.

‘Huh?’

Before her as she turned around in surprise, were several men and women wearing familiar hats and black suits. All of them held guns and were shooting in an offhand manner as they drew near to where Alice and the men were.

Their suits were adorned with monochrome card suit symbols. Their golden hair was decorated with crimson roses, feathers and also…..a black hat.

‘This really won’t do~’

‘You’re right. We cannot allow you to lay hands on our young lady.’

Their attitudes were really just like their master’s. Even in a situation like this, they were shooting in a languid sort of way.

They were Blood’s subordinates, who had accompanied him from Hatter Mansion.

‘This way please, young lady.’

‘Eh…..Ah-‘

Having come close to her before she had even realized it, a single maid grabbed her arm and pulled her along. As she skillfully fended off the men with a gun in one hand, she guided Alice towards the rest of her comrades.

‘Tch-…..Shoot! Don’t let her get away-!’

Taking that as their signal, the men who’d had their encirclement broken before their eyes began shooting all at once.

‘…Kyah-!’

To think she’d be attacked in the exact same place, picking up where they had left off before…..as she ran, her head bent down, bullets grazed the area near her feet.

Perhaps out of fear, or on reflex. For a single instant Alice closed her eyes and stood stock still.

‘Young lady-…’

Noticing the hint of tension in the languid voice, Alice looked up. However, feeling something hard against the back of her head, she stopped moving yet again.

‘Don’t move, or I’ll shoot.’

‘…..…..’

‘Stay right where you are. All of you, drop your guns.’

It was likely an ambusher that had been lying in wait on a road that had been in a blind spot.

The maid turned around to look at Alice who could no longer move, a stiff expression on her face as she also stopped moving.

And then Alice’s bad premonition became reality. In response to his demands, the Hatter group had laid down their guns.

The clatter of the hard objects hitting the ground sounded like toys, but what would happen to them after this— it was plain as day.

Shaking herself out of it as her stiff body seemed about to start trembling, Alice raised her voice.

‘-! You musn’t! Hurry up and get out of here!’

‘If we did that, the Boss would kill us~’

‘That’s right. We couldn’t leave our young lady behind in a situation like this.'

The maid hadn’t been the only one to disarm. The subordinates had all thrown down their guns at once.

They were members of the Mafia. They had likely experienced similar situations before this. They had to know their lives would be forfeit if they were to give in to the man’s demand.

‘You guys!’

‘—Shut up. We want to take you with us, but keep making all that noise and we won’t mind hurting you a little.’

‘-‘

The hard feeling of the object pressed against her head went through her hair, reaching her skin. Biting her lip, Alice’s face twisted with a feeling of helplessness.

She knew that she was weak. And she knew the strength of the organization that she was part of.

However, to become a hindrance to them in this kind of way…..as she experienced bitter emotions, the man behind her instructed his comrades.

‘Hurry up and take the Outsider. The others are in our way. Take care of them here.’

‘Understood.’

And then another person pulled up Alice’s arm. Hard enough that it hurt.

But in this situation she couldn’t voice a complaint. As a small form of resistance, she glared hard at him but the men’s mouths twisted as if mocking her. They were likely thinking that even if she glared at them, there was nothing Alice, who lacked any special abilities, could do anyway. And they wouldn’t be wrong.

All the same—that single instant’s delay was fatal for them.

‘Alice. Please close your eyes.’

‘Eh-! …..-!’

Though Alice turned towards the cool sounding voice despite herself, this time her body listened to her.

As she obediently closed her eyes, a single shot rang out.

‘Bang-!’

‘Wha…..!?’

Despite hearing the sound of something heavy falling within her closed off field of vision, she didn’t open her eyes.

She didn’t even need to imagine what had just happened. There was no longer anyone restraining her arms.

Before her eyes, the dead body of that man was likely there, having collapsed bleeding to the ground.

‘Young lady!’

As if to say now was their chance, the maid closest to her pulled on her arm once more. In her other hand she gripped the gun she had at some point retrieved. Following in the direction she was drawn, Alice continued after her.

‘Looks like the shoe’s on the other foot now.’

‘Let’s hurry up and take care of them.’

The other servants all counterattacked at once.

On the other side, the men’s control of the situation had been disrupted from the suddenness of their attack. Just how much losing composure contributed to their slowed response….the end result told all.

***

‘It’s alright now~’

‘…..Ah.’

‘We’re all done here.’

Sorry for making you wait~, the familiar maids spoke in the same tone as always.

As Alice came out from the nearby storage room she had been hiding in, just as they had said, it was all over. The people lying on the ground were mostly the wounded, and they had been tied up—she purposely decided not to think about the ones that were dead.

The redness of the blood spilt on the ground absorbed the red of the setting sun, gradually darkening in colour.

Doing her best to look away from it, Alice took a breath—and turned to face towards the sound of the footsteps behind her.

‘Ah…..’

‘Alice.’

The figure of the person who had quietly called her name did not belong to one of the Hatter Mansion servants. The golden clock he carried on his shoulder made a jangling noise.

‘Peter.’

The White Rabbit whom she had seen from far away at the meeting place where the Assembly was held was now right before her eyes.

And…..he did not seem to be in a good mood. It was rare for her to see him shaking his head at her as he sighed.

‘You really are-…..did Blood Dupre tell you nothing? It is too dangerous for you to walk around outside alone during the Assembly period.’

‘…..I’m sorry.’

Back then, in that moment when it seemed there was no escape, Alice had realised that the voice that had echoed out belonged to him.

She had been surprised, thinking that there was no way the Prime Minister of Heart Castle would appear when the Hatter Family were in a bind, but the fact he had saved them was the truth.

‘Thank you. Because of you…..we were saved.’

If Peter hadn’t showed up, her colleagues would likely have been in danger, and she wasn’t sure what demands the men would have made of Blood had she been made a hostage.

‘It was not you that was at fault…..it was those role-less cards.’

The glittering red gaze went towards the servants who stood behind Alice. It was the kind of intensely cold red that would never be directed towards Alice. The servants endured it in silence.

Hand on his pocket watch, the White Rabbit icily continued.

‘Really….. though you must have been sent out for her protection in preparation of a worst case scenario, I do not know for what purpose you are following her if you are not able to keep Alice out of danger. You’re all useless.’

‘…..Peter.’

‘No, it’s fine, young lady.’

‘It is as the Prime Minister says~’

‘But…..’

They had tried to protect her. It had gone wrong because she had stopped, it was her responsibility to bear. She could not agree that it was all only their fault.

However, they all shook their heads, as if to say, ‘Please don’t let it bother you.’ Continuing to argue would only be ignoring their feelings.

But Peter’s words of criticism were not yet over.

‘Having self-awareness is well enough, but ineffective guards are unnecessary. Ah, that’s it.’

With a faintly chilly smile…..the White Rabbit swung his pocket watch. The ringing sound of its chain echoed, the golden clock transforming instantaneously into a pink coloured gun.

Watching him, Alice had a bad feeling.

‘Wait, Peter…..what are you thinking!?’

‘Let us be rid of these good-for-nothings, Alice. Instead, I will stay by your side forever and protect you. I will never allow you to be in any danger. So, it's alright, isn't it?’

Seeing him point the gun towards the servants in a single flowing movement, Alice felt a real headache coming on. This man had no idea at all.

‘Of course it isn’t, stop this. Don’t do anything to my coworkers, please.’

‘Wha-! You would cover for these incompetents-?! I will protect you, so you don’t need them, do you-?’

It appeared the White Rabbit was confounded to see Alice step in between them. He hurriedly lowered the gun but did not yet return it to its clock form.

‘What happened this time wasn’t all their fault, it was mine as well. So, you mean to say you’ll get rid of me too, along with everyone else?’

‘Of course not-!’

She had asked the question while certain he would say no, but just as she had expected, he vigorously shook his head. The soft white hair swayed fluffily as if it were snow.

‘Then don’t shoot anyone from Hatter Mansion, please. If you say you’ll shoot even then, I won’t ever speak to you again.’

‘…..Alice…..’

Peter’s head hung despondently, and despite it being written on his face that he didn’t understand why she would say such a thing, at a time like this Alice could not compromise. This was Peter, if she lost focus for even a moment, it was likely he would carry out his plan before Alice could stop him.

‘—Your answer?’

‘Alright….I understand. I won’t shoot them.’

The words were reluctant.

He had not been convinced, but the fact that Alice was in earnest had likely gotten through to him. Once the White Rabbit let go of the gun, a golden clock took its place hanging from the end of the chain.

It appeared he had calmed down for the time being. Feeling relieved, this time Alice turned around towards the servants behind her.

‘By the way…..were you guys following me the whole time?’

Even though just a moment ago she had been backing them up, Alice’s voice now sounded a little severe.

The timing with which they had appeared was too convenient for them to have come across her by chance. Added to the fact she had also felt the presence of someone following her recently.

As she glared at them, while averting their gazes they muttered their answers.

‘…..Well…..During the Assembly period things are particularly unstable, you see.’

‘That’s right…..the Boss was worried too…..’

‘We wouldn’t normally do this kind of stalker-ish thing, you know?’

‘Yeah. Doing something so tiresome is a pain~’

It was a rare thing to see them mutter, without giving a clear answer.

However, Alice knew. To a certain extent, the servants of Hatter Mansion were all assigned a rank in proportion to their abilities. Those who protected the Mansion in its master’s absence, and those who protected him while he was out, they all had different roles.

These people were part of the top class of subordinates, who were allowed to travel together with Blood to the place where the Assembly took place. One or two of them acting on their own was one thing, but for so many of them to be on the move?

There was no way their master didn’t know of it, and no possibility they would act on their own without instructions.

‘…..…..Sheesh.’

They had likely been assigned to her in consideration of the recent attack, but if that was the case, he could at least have said a few words to her about it. The strange presence she had felt whenever she had gone out of late had likely been them. The fact that they didn’t deny it straight out was the proof.

‘Well, I guess it’s fine. I would have been in trouble if you guys hadn’t been there. It’s a bit late but thank you.’

Erasing her air of displeasure, she smiled at them, and they looked relieved.

‘Alice…..It’s not fair.’

‘Huh-…..Kyah-!’

Before she could guess at the intention of that low voice, arms had suddenly reached out from behind and wrapped themselves around Alice’s waist. Her body lost its balance, but whether luckily or unluckily, the arms around her supported her firmly, and she did not fall.

‘It’s unfair, Alice! You’re always so kind only to those role-less people…..why won’t you be even a little bit kind to me!?’

‘P-Peter…..-‘

When she looked down, perhaps because his head was hanging low, she couldn’t see his face, only the pure white hair close to her. Both his arms encircling Alice’s waist, the White Rabbit was clinging on as if stuck to her. The Mansion’s Twins were one thing, but for someone bigger than Alice, it was rather an odd posture to be in.

And not only that, since Peter was embracing her so as to envelop both of Alice’s arms, it did not look as if she could escape of her own power.

‘There you go, clinging on to me again regardless of where we are…..let me go please. I can’t move.’

‘Alice, why are you so cold to me? Ah, I see. You must be embarrassed! What a shy person you are!’

‘That’s not the issue here.’

The White Rabbit’s arms around her tightened to the point that it hurt— his hold was strong enough that it seemed she could almost forget about the injuries he had gotten from the attack from before.

‘Peter, now that I think about it…..how are your wounds? Are you alright?’

After all, his back had been wounded by shards of glass. It must have caused him a lot of pain.

However, separate from Alice’s worry, for some reason when the White Rabbit lifted his head upwards, he was smiling broadly. If Alice wasn’t mistaken, it was the kind of smile that could even be said to look happy.

‘To think that you would worry for me…..Ah, Alice! How kind you are…..You’ve been worried for me, your beloved, all this time! I’m so happy, Alice.’

‘…..Hey…..Listen to people when they’re talking.’

‘I am, I am listening, Alice. You were worried about my injuries, were you not? To have you worry for me…..Ah, how wonderful…..’

‘…..…..Seems like you’re fine already.’

Despite being exasperated by Peter’s tight hug, from the looks of things there really was no need to worry.

Even as she loosened a hand from Peter’s hold and stretched it out over his back to check, he just kept smiling even more, without seeming to be in pain even a little.

Although the amount of blood he had shed back then had been by no means a small amount.

‘You’re really all OK now?’

‘Yes. Injuries of that level are as nothing in the face of my love for you-!’

‘…..…..’

As she had thought, he didn’t listen to what people said at all.

Exasperation aside, it was true that she felt relieved. Blood had said there was no need to worry, but there was a big difference between hearing it from someone else and confirming it for herself.

‘It’s a bit late but…..Thank you, Peter. This time, and the time before that, you saved me.’

As she patted his back in a soothing sort of way, the White Rabbit looked even more pleased, his eyes narrowing. The gaze that had been so very cold and piercing just a moment ago had now softened completely.

‘I’m your White Rabbit, after all. I want to do anything I can for you.’

‘…..…..’

Hearing those words brought back to Alice’s mind the ones Peter had spoken previously in the Forest.

Badump, she had a feeling her heart had beat faster just like it had back then.

He had spoken the same sort of line. He said he would, and could, do anything for her.

But if that meant the price would be repeatedly suffering the same injuries as before…..Alice couldn’t simply agree with that.

‘Speaking of which, as thanks, why don’t we go out to eat together? I’ll treat you.’

‘Wh-…..What!?’

It appeared Peter was wholeheartedly surprised by Alice’s suggestion. The eyes that had been narrowed flew wide open to stare at her, the arms that had been so tightly wrapped around her loosening.

The over-the-top reaction was enough to make Alice smile wryly in response.

‘Alice and I having a meal, just the two of us-…..That is, a d-date!? To think you would invite me on a date, aah, I cannot believe it!’

‘It’s not such a big deal as a date though. What, do you hate the idea of going somewhere with me that much? If that’s the case, I won’t force you then…..’

Aware that he would deny it, Alice purposely questioned him teasingly, but he once again clung on to her and raised his voice.

‘I’ll go-! Of course, I shall accompany you-, there is no way I would not-! A date, just Alice and I…..Ahh-‘

‘…..Yeah, yeah.’

While exasperated at the White Rabbit getting worked up all by himself, Alice suddenly noticed there was a gaze on her, as if someone was wanting to say something, and turned around.

‘…..…..’

‘Young lady~’

‘Um…..’

The suit-wearing servants were standing there, looking as if they weren’t sure whether to laugh or leave.

‘Ah…..!’

As she realised they had been watching their entire conversation, Alice’s face all at once became a bright shade of red.

***

‘Here you are, thank you for waiting.’

A large plate with a steaming pie was placed onto the table.

‘Wah…..It looks delicious.’

As Alice’s eyes narrowed in appreciation as she took in the appetising fragrance, Peter briskly and efficiently placed a serving place in front of her. In his hands he already held a knife and fork.

‘I’ll cut the pieces right now, so please wait a moment.’

‘Huh? It’s fine, I can do it myself.’

Alice spoke in a fluster, but the White Rabbit did not listen. In a mild voice, he refused.

‘I want to do it. Alice…..This is a date after all, won’t you allow me to serve you?’

‘…..But this time, I want to be the one to show my thanks.’

‘Then all the more reason. You even showed me the way here, please allow me to do at least this much.’

The White Rabbit’s hands did not stop moving as he spoke. Skilfully dividing up the pie, he carried the food over to Alice’s plate.

This made Alice, who worked as a maid at Hatter Mansion, feel somehow embarrassed. It was as if she were being spoiled like a princess, or a woman being coaxed by her lover.

They had come to a restaurant close by to the one that Boris had guided her to before. Back then she had only passed by, but the delicious smell coming from it had remained in Alice’s memory.

Apparently, it was a restaurant that specialised in mushroom dishes, mushrooms of all different kinds were on display throughout the shop. The colours of some of them looked poisonous, but luckily the ones that had been taken to Alice’s table were the normal brown.

‘Here you are. Please get started.’

‘…..Thank you.’

‘Not at all.’

Fork in hand, Alice took a single bite—and her eyes involuntarily opened wide.

‘It’s good…-‘

The savoury smell and flakiness of the pie’s pastry, together with the smoothness of the mushroom were a perfect combination. As she chewed, soup oozed out of it, and that was delicious as well.

When she’d heard they served mushroom dishes she hadn’t been sure what to expect, but the menu had been more wonderful than she had thought. Alice continued eating with renewed interest, but suddenly noticing a gaze coming from beside her, she paused.

‘Aren’t you going to eat too, Peter?’

‘No, it’s just that seeing you enjoy what you’re eating so much makes me happy somehow…..I didn’t want to miss the opportunity.’

‘What are you talking about? You should eat too, no need to be considerate. My salary is good enough you don’t have to worry about my being able to pay.’

The master of Hatter Manson was a man who paid his subordinates a salary in keeping with the work they did. And Alice, who never wasted money on things she didn’t need, had a fair amount saved up. She hadn’t hesitated to use it for having a meal with a friend.

However, the White Rabbit quietly shook his head from left to right.

‘I cannot allow you to pay. I will treat you.’

‘…..All the more then.’

What kind of woman would she be, to be the only one eating, though she had asked for food enough for two, and to have him be the only one paying as well? At the very least, Alice did not want to have such a meal.

‘Ah…..could it be that you don’t like mushrooms, Peter? If so, I apologise…..’

‘No, it is not as if I particularly dislike mushrooms.’

‘Then, what do you like to eat? Maybe carrots since you’re a rabbit?’

He said that he didn’t dislike them, but for all that, the White Rabbit’s expression was not a joyful one. Even if he was also a rabbit, he was clearly different from the brown rabbit who lived at the Mansion.

‘I like anything. I can eat anything.’

‘Then you can have some of this mushroom dish, right? —Here.’

Using the serving fork, Alice placed some food on his plate. She was used to working as a maid in her everyday life, so waiting on someone like this was something Alice was more familiar with.

‘Ah, Alice. You don’t need to..-‘

‘It’s fine. Here, eat up, no need to hold back.’

‘…..Very well. It is food that you yourself have served me. I cannot be so rude as to not eat it.’

If he didn’t dislike the food, he would readily eat it. So thinking she had acted, but Alice soon had a feeling something was wrong.

Thank you for the meal, being especially polite, Peter carefully used the knife and fork to begin cutting. He carried one of the cut pieces towards his mouth.

It couldn’t be that he was acting the part of Prime Minister for show. Each one of his movements was refined, the very picture of correct table manners.

But there was something decisively different about the way he ate compared to Alice.

‘? Peter, are you sure you don’t dislike mushrooms after all?’

‘That is…..’

‘But, aren’t you forcing yourself?’

Alice knew well what a person’s face looked like when they were eating something they enjoyed.

It was certainly the case for the group at Hatter Mansion. Blood when he was drinking tea, Elliot when he was eating carrot dishes…..it was a normal thing for anyone with something they liked in front of them to enjoy the taste and be happy about it.

On the other hand, what would happen if they were given something that they disliked. It was something she knew from seeing her master trying to escape from eating orange coloured food. It wasn’t as obvious as Blood’s hatred for carrots, but there was a similar expression on Peter’s face.

‘You don’t need to force yourself if you don’t like it.’

‘It is not as if I dislike it…..’

The hand that been almost mechanically and dispassionately carrying food to his mouth stopped, and Peter looked troubled.

‘There is nothing in particular that I like.’

‘…..Huh?’

‘The truth is, I do not like anything…..after all, food does not particularly taste of anything, does it?’

‘…..…..’

Hearing him speak as if puzzled, Alice completely stopped moving.

Perhaps noticing her response, the White Rabbit let go of the knife and fork and tilted his head.

‘No matter what I eat, there is not much difference. All I need know is if there is poison in it or not.’

‘…..…..’

Hearing him talk, Alice felt as if the atmosphere around them had grown cold of a sudden. Even though it wasn’t as if someone was after her like before.

It was a wonder she hadn’t dropped her knife and fork. The taste of the mushroom in her mouth suddenly felt far away.

No, it wasn’t just the taste of the food. Even the noise inside the shop that had sounded normal until now felt somehow forced.

‘…..…..’

Gulp, she heard the sound of her throat swallowing, but even that…..felt distant.

A world without taste. A living being who, even though they ate, didn’t feel a thing.

There was no way all the rabbits who lived in this world were the same. There was Elliot, who truly loved carrot dishes beyond anything. It didn’t change the fact that he liked carrots the best, but it was not as if he didn’t understand the taste of food outside of carrots.

But—it was completely different for Peter.

‘…..…..’

No matter what he ate, it had no taste. It was simply something he did to take in the sufficient nutrients needed to keep his body moving.

It was probably for that reason his perfect way of eating and his reaction as he ate left an impression of disconnection.

She hadn’t noticed it at all up until now. If they hadn’t talked about taste just now, Alice might never have realised.

Even when he had prepared tea for her at Heart Castle, Peter had often accompanied Alice in drinking tea. He had been as happy as if it were himself when she had nodded saying it was delicious.

She had always thought his reaction was a bit much…..but at last she understood its meaning.

He had never provided her with anything that he himself felt tasted good. Just things that he thought Alice would like, it had been for no other purpose than to make Alice happy.

‘…..…..’

She took a sip from the cup of cold water on the table. It slid down her throat, which had become dry before she had realised it, with a cold and chilly sensation.

He had said things had no flavour, but that did not necessarily mean he had no sense of taste. If he didn’t, it would have been too difficult to judge whether or not something had poison in it.

However, Alice could not even imagine what his world, one where nothing had any flavour, was like. No matter what he drank, or ate, for it to simply slip down his throat into his body like the water she had just had…..she could not understand it all.

‘Alice, is something wrong? It can’t be, there was poison in the-…..’

‘N-no! That’s not it…..’

As she held back the White Rabbit who even now seemed about ready to brandish his gun and start shooting at the restaurant workers, inside of her chest was a jumble of questions.

—Is that not hard for you, Peter?—

Forcibly swallowing back down the questions rising towards her lips, she changed them into a sigh.

Eating was a necessary act for life to continue on. She thought that for it to just be a duty, something about which you didn’t feel anything at all, was just too sad.

She could understand it if he said that he disliked eating. But that he neither liked or disliked the action itself…..she thought that it must be a very lonely thing.

‘That’s not it. I was just…..a little surprised, that’s all.’

Restraining the White Rabbit from changing his golden watch into a gun, once Alice settled the bill and left the restaurant, the colours of the sky had changed yet again.

***

‘I think I put them in here, if I’m remembering right…..’

In her room at the Tower. Having returned to the room she had become completely used to living in, Alice was slowly digging around amongst the small amount of hand luggage.

And, having taken out a single case from the pile, she opened the lid.

‘…..…..’

Inside were the snacks the maids she was friendly with had wrapped for her when she had left the Mansion. Because they would last for a long time, it was mostly candy and chocolate that had been packed in.

She took into her hand a single small snack that had been wrapped in silver paper. Unwrapping it silently, she popped the small block of dark brown that appeared into her mouth.

Along with the snapping noise as she chewed, a familiar flavour spread throughout her mouth.

It was sweet. And also, bitter. It was chocolate. A person who had had chocolate before would know what it was immediately.

‘But….maybe Peter wouldn’t.’

As he had said himself, he was a clever Rabbit. He would definitely be able to identify that it was chocolate.

However—the taste alone was something he surely wouldn’t understand. If his basis for judgement was only whether or not something had poison in it, he would likely just decide that it was not poisonous and leave it at that.

And that….somehow felt lonely to her. She thought that perhaps one of the main reasons she felt that way was because Peter himself accepted it as a given.

‘….There’s something wrong with me.’

Their first meeting had been awful, no matter how often she recalled it, it should have been bad enough for her to wonder how they had even become friends.

But now….she was thinking about him so much.

Because she thought she was such a fool for not noticing in all the times they’d had tea together until now that nothing had flavour to him.

It had to be because she was worried for him as a friend. She would have liked for that to be the reason, but the emotions that were moving her now did not at all seem to be that of friendship.

Was it truly just that causing this stirring in her chest?

‘….Peter….’

I love you. You are the only one I love.

If you are happy, that is all that matters to me.

—Because I love you—

The White Rabbit’s love confessions were always one-sided. They did not desire an answer from Alice. Even if she were to answer, it wouldn’t be unusual for it not to reach those long ears. Only taking up what was convenient, in a certain sense, those ears were highly efficient.

‘You’re….so unfair….’

She had not planned on changing. Even when she had come to this world, she would always remain as she was….her cowardly, pessimistic, grey-coloured self, who was the furthest thing from pure white. Though she had planned on staying as the half-hearted Alice Liddell who was unable to become anything, right now she was wavering so much.

Over someone she couldn’t help but think about….Why did the man who did not understand what things tasted like say that he loved her?

Alice hadn’t done anything for him.

Even though she hadn’t done anything to make him fall in love with her. Even though she wasn’t the kind of person people fell in love with.

Why did you fall in love with me?

‘We’re friends, so that’s why it bothers me. It can’t be anything else….of course it isn’t.’

The more they come to know you, the more they will love you.

The words the dream demon had once said sprang back into Alice’s mind.

Their first meeting had been the absolute worst. A rockier beginning she could not imagine.

However, since their relationship had begun on the worst possible terms….she had been made to realise now that there was no way it would have become worse.

It would seem the relationship that should have begun from hostility had revised itself in a more positive direction before she had realised it.

‘It’s because….we’re friends. That’s the reason I can’t leave him alone….’

She was unable to hate him. On the contrary, there were aspects to him that she even found likeable.

His actions were one-sided, and many of the things he did were a bother. He would sometimes say stalker-ish things with no shame whatsoever.

She wondered how much he knew about her.

And, conversely, she wondered how much she knew about him.

She had lived at her place of residence for an amount of time that was no longer of short duration. But even there, the place she had decided was where she belonged, she remained unable to delve into the side of them that was Mafia.

The courage to draw near to the closest possible place to the White Rabbit….there was no way she had such a thing.

‘….-‘

Tightly.

She pressed her hands to her chest, to calm a heartbeat that seemed about to accelerate out of control.

—I hate this.

When it came to romance, Alice couldn’t help but become a foolish child again. Even while thinking she didn’t want to become conceited, another part of her thought that she didn’t want to be betrayed, and she became selfish.

‘No….that can’t be….why.’

Let it be something else.

The wrapper in her hand made a crinkling noise as she crumpled it into a ball.

She thought she had already had enough of love. Romance was a pain, and for all the effort it took, it was never guaranteed that things would go how you wished them to.

—You don’t necessarily want to be loved by everyone—

What came into her mind was the dream demon’s smile when he had appeared in her dreams in the country of red.

As if to say that he saw through her completely, there was a faint smile on his handsome face as he spoke.

—You just want to be loved by someone.—

Even now she could vividly recall Nightmare’s voice as he made that declaration as if it was only the obvious truth.

‘I won’t fall in love. Wanting to be by his side, is something I would never….’

As long as they could be friends, she was fine with that. She would not wish for anything more.

Peter had problematic aspects to him, but Alice had already let down her guard, and at this late stage, she would likely even feel sad if distance were to be put between them.

But….what if they ended up becoming even closer?

And when they did, what if he were to grow distant from her?

“Alice, I’m so sorry, I-….”

“I’m sorry, Alice, I’ve-….”

Phantom voices overlapped with the voices of the past that remained in her memory.

Just like back then.

He might grow distant, too.

‘….….’

Wordlessly, her mouth twisted faintly.

The bitterness that continued to remain as if stuck to the inside of her throat wasn’t just because of the chocolate.

Alice purposely pretended she hadn’t noticed it.

#heart no kuni no alice #translation #hnkna #alice in the country of clover #otome game

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freezerbnuuy · 2 months ago

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Act 5:28- An Empty Nest (Page 2)

LORE | CHARACTERS | ABOUT / WARNINGS | CHAPTERS

← PREVIOUS | BEGINNING | NEXT →

Clementia

Even after all the support I'd received over the years, I still find it difficult accepting help from others. The old Clem who had to fight tooth and claw for a modicum of respect and importance slipped through the cracks every now and again, wanting to take everything into her own hands to prove herself to no-one. I can't keep doing it now, otherwise I may not survive another attack.

If Father and Reynold - and maybe even the Peterans - want to help, I have to let them.

"Very well. Go and bring Reynold back, but only if he wants to come back."

"Of course he'll want to come back."

"I'll keep an eye on Maddie," Róisín says, with a hint of bluntness. Alistair tells her to wait, and he goes to check on her himself.

"Maddie? I thought I told you to keep an eye on Clem."

"MADDIE!"

"Oh! Er-hem - Mr. Morgan. Don't worry. I'm keeping a beady eye out for any Jacobans."

"If Clem gets a single scratch on her, I'll tear you apart. Is that understood?"

"Crystal-clear, Mr. Morgan. And if you're wondering, 'Oh, Maddie, how can I trust you?' - If I wasn't being sincere about this whole 'turning over a new leaf' thing, do you think I'd go as far as to kill a Jacoban to defend someone I don't even know? Hell, I'm going to have my own personal witch-hunt to deal with after all that! And I don't have any family to back me up."

Reynold

With the snow subsiding for a while, we try to get back to get our duties around the village.

Having Owen here is a nice touch; I missed his friendship. He's going to help my partner with the school as an alchemy teacher. I think it will do him good, a new life down on the ground. He may miss his family (and his many luxuries) but he seems to be adjusting well to living here.

Though he looks pale and tired, he at least looks less gaunt-faced than he did back when we met at the coffeehouse. As a physician, he wasn't looking after himself as well as he was looking after his patients. He'd often skip meals, for one, to make time for work or family matters. He seems to be enjoying himself here so far, and he and Áine seem to get along.

Owen has offered to help with the manual tasks whenever his condition wasn't causing him too much of an issue, so today, Xander gets him tending to the plants, picking the vegetables. I keep hearing him grunt and mumble to himself as he scrambles through the soil.

"Chin up, Dr. Annorin! Your fingers have been up so many backsides over your career! Why does fumbling through soil bother you?"

"You can't possibly be comparing - that - to this! It's freezing and the worms in the soil are unnerving."

"What's unnerving about a bloody worm?"

"Are you implying that you prefer the warmth of a patient's-"

"No! I just - Look at them! They're such strange little creatures - no eyes, no legs! They're just strange little pink strings that like to get in the way whilst I'm trying to harvest these mushrooms!"

"Well, it's up to you- you can stay here and pick veg and mushrooms, or you can go back to rummaging through rich people's arseholes."

"But Xander, can't you get worms there too?"

"ENOUGH! No more about this topic!" Owen begs, as the rest of us cackle.

Owen's face goes as red as the tomatoes he picked earlier. All the laughter comes to an abrupt halt when a familiar voice calls my name. Xander opens it gingerly, but he has nothing to be afraid of. Myself, on the other hand... There's only one reason my father would come all the way out here... my heart turns to ice.

"Since when did the Jacobans want my sister dead? Since when did they go out killing people? I thought the Justicers died out years ago!"

"They did, son - but they're back. They targeted your sister after she spoke up in defense of witches at Juniper and Owen's trials."

"Juniper? How the - nobody hates witches more than Juniper!"

How much have I missed being here? How much have things changed back in Henford? A cold chill of guilt settles in my stomach, but I don't have much time to talk to Alistair about such matters.

"Father, I want to properly say goodbye to people here and finish off some work I promised for Xander. I can return tomorrow morning- is that alright with you, if Clem is stable?"

"She's just shaken, Reynold, but the physical wound is healed. That sounds good to me. I think she'll be excited to see you again. She's missed you." Alistair looks away. "I'm deeply sorry, son. I know you and Clem fought hard to prevent a clash between the Jacobans and the Peterans, but High Priest Thorne is not like Julian or Juniper were."

Were? Juniper was killed?! Surely the Jacobans wouldn't let their Great Convincer get convicted of - that is, unless, she's... No, this is all a mess.

If Lunvin were out right now, she'd be telling me to tear every Jacoban limb from limb...and when she comes out, I don't know if I'll be able to resist that call. The Jacobans aren't like Lord Volpe. They won't go down easily.

I can't. I can't allow me to get distracted by dark thoughts, not when I need to say goodbye to Áine.

#divided sims 4 story #freezerbnuuy

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whenitsdarkweilluminate · 1 year ago

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Rotterdam 2020 – Semi-Final 2

Host: Netherlands Slogan: “Open Up” Participants: 41 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

General Overview:

Well, there's not much to comment on here! As I said, SF2 is the more open semi this year. There's only 6 countries that I perceive as “safe” qualifiers in this one, which leaves 4 spots that are up in the air. The first half of this semi is kinda weak too.

Having said that, I think the 2020 winner is actually in this group - Iceland, Switzerland, or Bulgaria. Or it's Italy in the Big 5. I just don't see the juries giving Lithuania and Russia enough support to take the crown. Maybe Norway would've been a dark horse though.

Greece: Stefania - Superg!rl W!th an exclamat!on po!nt! The Dream Team's instrumentals usually dominate their songs - those quivering, unstable “B-B-B-BR-BRR” bursts are LOUD and overbearing. But those bursts go hard and sound Greek. They're like a supernatural force overtaking you and your surroundings. After the approaching thunder-drum intro, the first one occurs right away (with castanets?) Then the verse minimizes to bass nudges and dull kicks; heightening midway. There's a slam, and the pre-chorus hums alongside light bucket drips, as Stefania's voice now jumps out. Another slam, and the little metal balls dropping accelerate; then a diversion of skipping broken ticks before the “drop” goes OFF with bass throbs. The drop also fills up with lyrics in the second half. Verse 2 quiets to traditional strings. And the bridge escalates via slicing strikes and an intense hum; leading to a big note, a haunting choir chant, horn roars, and one final drop. That bridge is my fave part. The song builds into the drops nicely, and I like the hazy atmosphere. But the comic book character metaphor is kinda cheesy. The “girl/world”; “power/tower” rhymes are filler. And “There's no wonder it takes a woman” is certainly a pun. The lyrics mention Clark Kent's phone booth, a “super car” and X-ray vision. Stefania says girls don't need that stuff to feel powerful and be themselves. The song is about female empowerment, finding your passion and identity in the darkness, and standing against the detractors. But the lyrics also sound like they're about a relationship, so the message is unfocused. Stefania acts as “your supergirl” to help humanity (as seen in the video).

My prediction: 80% (#19 odds/ #19 scoreboard app). This seems like a pretty safe qualifier. It stands out in a good way, but it's the kinda song that gets 17th-22nd place in the grand final. LIKELY.

Estonia: Uku Suviste - What Love Is “INEVERIMAGINEDTHEPOWER”... this rapid wordy chorus, where Uku crams too many syllables together, just does not work. I like when the “I neeeever kneeeew” slowdown cuts it off, but it's not enough. The song is too bland and dull. It begins with Uku taking a breath, then the first verse is a piano ballad, with this alien spaceship sound upon “beautiful surprises”. The intro has a night sky vibe. There's a heavy thud and an eerie wind, then the chorus initially holds back, with tickles and patters. Then, after a heartbeat thump, Uku's voice rises and the percussion forcefully stomp-splashes, creating a quiet/loud contrast. The post-chorus then adds strings. Verse 2 is less tense with sharper drums, until the pre-chorus. The second chorus jumps right into it. And the bridge copies the chorus lyrics, while the vocals and production reduce to a steam leak. But nothing about this production is that special. The lyrics are sappy too. Uku remarks on how mysterious and surprising life is. That he never understood his old self. And that his aspirations in life weren't about finding a partner. Then he lists a bunch of examples of how you don't know something until you experience it. He was unaware of the power and necessity of love until now. It's a bit cringe how Uku takes his epiphany SO seriously; like this awakening was SO important. The dramatic production doesn't help either. This is the kind of song where I'm just waiting for it to be over. The Eesti Laul staging was boring too.

My prediction: 10% (#38 odds/ #38 scoreboard app). The least likely qualifier of SF2 imo. The song is a forgettable nothing-burger, and it was given the worst running order spot. NO CHANCE.

Austria: Vincent Bueno - Alive Austria are in their jury bait era. “Alive” is just too calculated and soulless for me. It's like the songwriters are showing off their polished technical craft, but in doing so, I cannot connect to the song. Vincent channelling Justin Timberlake leaves me feeling cold too. And the song's intro is pretentious. It spreads a message of freeing yourself from shackled thrones, and how we're all heroes behind our egos. While the piano is like elevator music, with brief subtle strings and echoes of “screaming”, which puts focus on Vincent's vocal flexing. The way he yells “SHACKLE BOLTS” annoys me. Weirdly, the rest of the lyrics are basic. He repeatedly says this person makes him feel alive again... and that's about it. He doesn't need much to ignite his mood, so prepare for “fire shots”. After that intro shuts down, the murky bass emerges, the computerized claps accelerate, there's a windy whoosh, and the funky bass-line takes over, briefly pulling the brakes on “hey!” The post-chorus adds showering synths as the melody fills out, ending on a crackle. Verse 2 maintains the momentum (and adds door knocks) until a synth blare; then the pre-chorus drops down and builds back up. The bridge emphasizes the bass-line, where Vincent whispers. And the song abruptly returns to the intro at the end, where the monarch is overthrown. The production is filled with quirky sounds. I like the funky bass and the “you make me feel like... oh oh oh” build-ups, but the “alive again x2” hook is annoying. The song has a self-confident vibe though.

My prediction: 50% (#31 odds/ #26 scoreboard app). I could see the juries pushing Austria through... and then they would receive <10 televote points in the grand final. “Amen” was only 11th with the juries, but “Alive” is more dynamic. The upbeat songs have an advantage in SF2 as well. It's very borderline though. BORDERLINE IN.

Moldova: Natalia Gordienko - Prison I prefer the studio version. With Dream Team productions being so dominant, Natalia needs a more powerful live vocal. She also awkwardly walks around some LED chairs and copies “Bulletproof”'s staging. The song opens with a dramatic slam, while a whistling flute alternates sides. Then the verse piano tickles, with a couple snowy echoes. Another slam and the bass hums, ending on a windy gasp. Another slam and the pre-chorus jumps out; intensifying midway after a rattle. Then the dark bubbling synth takes over, with plenty of chain clangs and electrical scatters. This chorus sounds like a large, dark, echoing prison. The whole “I don't want to be with/without you” repetition feels empty though. The chorus heightens upon the “PRISON!” yelp, where the flute returns. There's a breather afterwards. The synths arrive earlier the second time. The bridge is a bunch of screams appearing one at a time. And the production goes crazy at the end. It's a very entrapping atmosphere. The louder parts represent Natalia losing her mind, and the lyrics showcase her indecisiveness in wanting this person. There's a lot of “I don't want to...”s, and repeating lines with extra words. That “IdontwannaFEEL... you” melody also channels “Hijo de la luna”. She doesn't want to fight “inside”. She's trapped by the memories. She wishes for solitary confinement. The relationship feels like a prison. She doesn't want to be needy or desperate. These lyrics lack depth and Natalia's emotion seems unconvincing. The production is epic, but this sound only exists in K*rkorov's head; much like Russia 2014 & 2016.

My prediction: 25% (#33 odds/ #40 scoreboard app). Very poor fan reception, but Moldova are known for staging glow-ups, and Kontopoulos & K*rkorov have only NQ'ed once (Azerbaijan 2018). Still, I just don't see it happening with that NF performance. “Sugar”'s placing surprised me, but that had meme potential. UNLIKELY.

San Marino: Senhit - Freaky! Yeah... Senhit had the biggest upgrade in 2021. “Freaky!” cranks the camp factor up to an 11. I mean, she sells it, and it's a high energy upbeat song. But the chorus is annoying, particularly the “FREAKY! FREAKY! FREAKY!” group chants, with the percussion slaps. The song sounds tacky and cheap. And it's another dated disco instrumental from San Marino. The humming intro is like a pretty sunrise. The tiny guitar pings, “body” echoes, and finger snaps continue this peaceful vibe. I like how the opening verse melody hangs on – it's different from the rest of the song. Then, a helicopter flutters by, and the drums and funky bass take over, with some brake screeches. The chorus adds disco strings and synth vomits. Then the intro verse returns. Then it's the chorus again. And the bridge is a disco instrumental break, leading to a group chant moment, and a power down effect. The backing singers sound like they're at a party. But the second half of the song keeps repeating the same 3 stanzas, as if they ran out of ideas. And Senhit sings the “freaky”s and “And life goes by...” with a mocking tone. In the lyrics, she's smitten. Her whole body feels a sensation from this person's touch. The couple are into PDA's, and people call them “freaky”, and think she's pretending to like it (does “freaky” imply public sex?) But they don't care. They like being freaky! They'll break the rules! Life is too short! The song has a 'free yourself and party' kinda vibe. But the more I listen to it, the more annoying and empty it is.

My prediction: 10% (#37 odds/ #41 scoreboard app). Very poor fan reception. The song is too kitschy and dated, and San Marino struggles to qualify most years anyways. This is a contender for last place in the semi. The staging would have to be incredible to save it. NO CHANCE.

Czech Republic: Benny Cristo - Kemama I love that Czechia chose an Afro-beats song. It's not a genre you often hear in Eurovision. But “Kemama” isn't very catchy, is it? The “I wasn't always like that / I wasn't born like that...” build-up is great (with the sliced-up bangs afterwards), but it builds to nothing. The chorus is flat. It's a 'chill vibes only' kinda song though. It opens with a summery guitar and dull synth drips, as Benny lists the producer tags. Then (a subdued version of) the chorus starts things off, with restless taps, little guitar twiddles, and bead shaker swipes. Things intensify with Benny's raised voice and the claps. Then the pre-chorus synths stop/start to build hype. And the new chorus percussion skips along. The second verse/chorus are elevated by horns. The bridge is a foot-dance drum breakdown, then he shouts the last chorus transition. And a wild outdoor drum commotion finishes things off. There's a lot going on in this instrumental, but it's never too much. The lyrics involve Benny and his mother reversing roles - he's now giving her advice. He reassures her he'll be okay. She needn't worry what others say about him. He's become independent with a big heart. He refutes the idea he's “lost his way” - no, he's sure of himself. He'll prove them wrong. He asserts he worked 24/7 to get here. He was bullied as a child, but was resilient thanks to his mother's advice. And now he just wants to dance and enjoy life – there's no need for fighting and prejudice. I like the message at least. I just wish it stood out more.

My prediction: 35% (#26 odds/ #34 scoreboard app). This sounds like nothing else in the contest, so it could be a shock Q. His Vidbir 2020 performance of “Kemama” was much better than whatever that trainwreck was in Eurovision 2021. But I don't think it's catchy enough to Q. UNLIKELY.

Serbia: Hurricane - Hasta la vista This is fun and catchy but it's kinda monotonous. I love the fierce attitude though. The narrator leaves her cheating partner by throwing that Arnold quote in his face! She takes control and decides when it's over: “1, 2, 3 and it's the end! Your time is up!”; “Take it or leave it!”. She blames him for her insomnia. They don't even talk to each other. He can't handle her 'craziness'. And she says he made the wrong choice. “Oh, well, sorry you didn't like me”! Hurricane expresses 0 regrets or doubts here. He blew his chances and they refuse to compromise - it's not “vanity”, it's self-respect. The song has a 'I'm so much better off now' vibe. The instrumental paints the image of the trio fleeing on motorbikes. Maybe he was cheating with all 3 lol. The intro sounds like a vibrating tailpipe that cuts off. Then the Blackpink horns and claps hype things up, as the song swirls up and down. Then, after some glitchy beeps, the trap-y verses kick, buzz, roar and glitch. The pre-chorus switches to a clappy build-up, ending on a deep vocal distortion. Then the chorus speeds/bounces forward with drum rattles; pulling back for catchy stutter responses. The verses also have responses. The post-chorus is like the pre-verse. Verse #2 completely stops twice for submerged vocal bits. And the bridge is a bigger clappy build-up, but it doesn't build to anything new. In Beovizija, Hurricane have great stage presence. That version adds army boot stomps, while the LED keeps displaying “HURRICANE”, and shows an army of women at the end.

My prediction: 75% (#23 odds/ #20 scoreboard app). This is basically the same song as “Loco Loco” so I expect the same result. It's catchy and they had a solid live performance in 2021. Plus, Serbia sounds like a step-up after the last few songs in the running order. LIKELY.

Poland: Alicja - Empires This sounds like a James Bond theme, and I mean that as a positive. The violin intro paints the image of Alicja standing in the ruins after her city burned down. It sets a mournful mood with the somber piano. There's a light thump, then the orchestral strings flicker on/off and tip-toe. The pre-chorus quickly increases the volume. Then the drums take over the chorus, with idle strings, changing the mood into feeling powerless watching this tragedy unfold; until it falls into a thud on “rise and fall”. Verse 2 adds waddling footsteps. The next chorus has a dramatic jittery start. The bridge quiets to piano and cello. The piano slows to a stop before the final chorus. And Alicja ends on a huge scream. The song is about climate change (as seen in the video), and how the world's empires are close to crumbling down. Every empire in history fell at some point. We're not immune. Alicja remarks that it happens so easily and asks if it's our fault. She feels guilty for staying in an escapist reality. She says we hope for change but we don't do it. And she cries “We just want it all”! There's also several idioms: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” (we'll be a part of Earth again someday), “Fool's gold” (our possessions have fake value), “Moths to a flame” (we're addicted to harmful stuff). Maybe it's preachy in saying our lifestyles will lead to destruction, but Alicja sings with genuine concern. I also like her distinct vocal and the song's dire atmosphere. The NF performance looks like karaoke night with the scrolling lyrics.

My prediction: 50% (#20 odds/ #23 scoreboard app). Poland is usually a televote-friendly country, and this is a jury-friendly song, so... win/win? SF2 is more ballad-heavy, but I think her voice makes this one stand out. Although this would probably flop in the grand final. That NF staging needs improvement too. BORDERLINE IN.

Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - Think About Things “Baybay... I. Can't. Wait. To. Know.” No, he's talking to an actual baby (his newborn daughter.) Dadi is curious to know what she's thinking about, since he can't understand her yet. He promises to always be there, so she can tell him anytime! He wonders if she loves him back. And he says they're bonded forever, despite her essentially being a stranger. Dadi acts like babies can comprehend parental relationships. But I read these lyrics as sweet and not weird. Babies are an unknown, so it's natural to wonder who they'll grow up to be. The song itself has a nostalgic sound and a relaxing family time mood. It remains low-key the entire time, but still reaches a climax. Dadi's unusual vocal style and the harmonies are hypnotic too. There's a drowsy intro, with the mircowave-y vapor puffs and minimalist vocals, while this antsy wiggly thing grows. Then the synth 'pow's, the moving bass taps, the stationary foot taps, the backing “ah uh ah uh...”, and a quick drum 'ta-t-ta' get things moving (in that order). The verses move to a funky guitar and snaps. Then, after a double slap, the droopy chorus follows a bass guitar groove, as the snaps return midway. An excited horn break follows this, ending on a rolling drum. The next pre-chorus drops down. Chorus #2 is fuller. And the bridge horns anticipate the climactic final “BAAAABBY”. Those “BABY!” hooks are great. The Söngvakeppnin staging definitely stands out - the green pajamas, the pixelated faces, the strange instruments, the sideways struts, the face turns. This is a quirky entry, but a charming and polished one. And the song's groove/rhythm is very interesting and unique.

My prediction: 99% (#4 odds/ #3 scoreboard app). Probably the SF2/grand final televote winner as well. The juries had Iceland pretty high in 2021, so yeah, I think this would've been the Eurovision 2020 winner. LOCKED.

Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Répondez-moi I initially found this boring. But it captures a feeling of existential dread really well. It's a relatable message in today's world. In the lyrics, Gjon asks life's unanswerable questions. He starts small with why does rain exist? But soon turns serious with why does death exist? He also mentions being separated from his family, and feeling like a stranger in his new and old homes (his parents are from Albania and Kosovo). He later asks why do we keep running? Why do we pray differently? And why future generations are screwed. In the chorus, Gjon is tired of guessing and begs for answers – and no BS ones. But there's no resolution; we're all stuck guessing forever. The verses repeat every question, showing how unrelenting they are. He doesn't beat around the bush either. The song moves very slowly and it has a very serious tone. But Gjon's vulnerability makes it work. He projects sadness really well. And it's a very personal song. The intro is this vibrating hum that lingers for a bit, like white noise. The first verse continues this uneasy silence, only adding tiny guitar pings, and a piano midway. While the chorus inserts strings, “ah uh AHHH...” hooks, and ends on a falsetto scream. The percussion waits until verse 2 to arrive, where the echoing snaps and stomps convey painful frustration. Chorus #2 adds a bleak soldier-marching snare and echoing strikes. And the bridge falls into silence before Gjon screams over the last chorus – I love this climax. His vocals are great too. I can really feel the emotion in this.

My prediction: 99% (#3 odds/ #2 scoreboard app). And this is probably the SF2/grand final jury winner. I mean, Gjon did just that in 2021. Plus, if he can communicate the message through the staging, this will have televote appeal. But will we get two sadboy ballad Eurovision winners in a row? LOCKED.

Denmark: Ben and Tan - Yes This is so aggressively catchy. Depending on my mood, “Yes” is either a banger or it's annoying AF. The chorus is a super potent singalong that's impossible to ignore - every single word of it pops out. It's also excessively upbeat. So, Denmark takes us back to the mid-2010s folk-pop trend. The song starts with acoustic guitar slaps and a stomp-along beat, while Ben & Tan trade leads. The verse winds down upon “give life one more chance”. Then, after a “HEY!” shout, the chorus heightens and occupies the entire surroundings. This part conveys how overwhelmingly strong their feelings are. There's fluttering claps, more stomps, emphatic “SAY YES! SAY YES! SAY YES!” releasing shouts that echo across the arena, and an “ooooh” post-chorus that sounds like bagpipes. Verse 2 introduces the violent strikes (that hit the ground full force from excitement), which reappear later on. The bridge reduces to minimal guitar, before one last “ooooh” creates an epic build into the final chorus - I like that pause when it hits. And the song ends on a softer moment. The lyrics are straightforward. It's about them giving love (or life?) another chance despite what they're dealing with. Tan felt bitter, sad, and lonely because she would've died for her ex. While Ben was controlled by fear and didn't think he could be happy while sober. But everything's changed now they've found each other! The archery lyric goes with the folk song imagery too. In the audience-less DMGP final, the LED flashes “YES”, while Ben & Tan have strategic stage positioning.

My prediction: 85% (#15 odds/ #17 scoreboard app). This is WAAAY too catchy and polished to not make it, and their DMGP performance was pretty solid. Juries love catchy radio pop as well. I predict top 15 in the final. LOCKED.

Albania: Arilena Ara - Fall from the Sky I don't mind if Albania keeps sending female ballads. Arilena's powerful voice really elevates this one, even if the cliché wings metaphor weakens the chorus a bit. She makes that chorus impactful regardless, with the “SKY-Y-Y-Y-UH-Y” cries and “HOLD BACK... MY WINGS...” pauses. She sings with SO much conviction, like she's fighting for her life. I can hear her suffering. And she sounds like Katy Perry lol. Her voice also dominates over the instrumental. Which makes sense, since Arilena is regaining her autonomy from an abusive partner. She hides all the pain they caused, in order to deny them the satisfaction that the absue “worked”. They made her doubt her faith. They lied. They controlled her. But she's resilient! I love when Arilena switches to anger in the bridge - it shows she's no longer afraid. The Albanian version is much darker, where murder seems like the only escape. But the revamped instrumental is more dramatic and... harsh I guess? There's a sharp, ice cold piano intro that slows down. Then, after a rumble, the piano dejectedly softens, before picking itself up. There's a cymbal crash, the chorus strings weep, and the drums and metallic echoes summon strength within. Verse 2 adds a woodblock, and skip-splashes at the end. The bridge breaks free. Then the tension builds with strings and drum bangs, until it breaks upon “FLYYYYY”. The icy piano returns, there's a loud strike, the drums/strings resume, and she literally “screams inside” in a big note. That last chorus transition is so good. Finally, the song crashes down and the outro goes a cappella.

My prediction: 60% (#28 odds/ #18 scoreboard app). This probably would've placed... 17th in the grand final. Albania's female ballads are usually borderline qualifiers, but Arilena's vocals and the big dramatic chorus should be enough. BORDERLINE IN.

Finland: Aksel - Looking Back Last year, Finland said “Look Away”, this year they're “Looking Back”! This one is a personal, heartfelt ballad, where Aksel provides a comforting, sentimental vocal. The lyrics are relatable too. It's about the uneasiness of growing up, and how we don't appreciate our youth until it's over... and then we're nostalgic for it. We're too fixated on achieving a dream job (the “high life”) or on current woes (the “low lights”). Aksel also reminisces over his youth – sharing dreams with friends; the impatience to turn 18; being naive, clueless and confused about stuff; going to parties; acting carelessly. These memories give him comfort. Indeed, the song has a 'don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened' kinda vibe. There's a chilly wind intro, then the first verse is a calm piano ballad, as the autumn winds reappear. A shimmer starts the chorus, where the “HIIIIGH LIFE”/ “LOOOW LIGHTS” shouts hang off a cliff, and the following line relaxes. It isn't the catchiest chorus ever, but it's fine. Verse 2 introduces the dense, stuttering kicks (like a dribbling basketball); which turn splashy in the next pre-chorus. Chorus 2 is fuller and maintains the kicks. But there's no bridge, and that chorus is repeated for a full minute, where nothing changes. I wish there was more *to* this song. The outro reduces to little guitar echoes. Aksel's UMK performance seems heartfelt. The LED shows moving dashes, red lights (to match that lyric), and chalk drawings of kids hanging out and dating.

My prediction: 45% (#27 odds/ #33 scoreboard app). This could be a shock qualifier because of the the juries, but I'm not convinced the televote would go for this. There's so many ballads in the second half, and I don't see this surpassing Poland or Albania. BORDERLINE OUT.

Armenia: Athena Manoukian - Chains on You Eurovision mostly avoids trap music, so this is refreshing. Athena's confident attitude, her flow (“I start it, I make it...”), her “yuh yuh yuh”s, the slurred auto-tuned “diamonds on you”, the “chains on chains on you” mumbles, and the background “woo”s and breathing are what trap needs. She can't sound stiff. Plus the production constantly adds or removes layers at the right moments. It's never overdone or messy. The most prominent layer is the steel drum loop. It starts in the intro and moves ominously in single steps. There's a creepy finger-fidget descent, then the scraping trap beat arrives, with broken metal rattles added in next. The pre-chorus bass bubbles, with a gunshot midway, then the rattles return. The next part switches to claps, bass pulls, and alarm roars. The music stops on the unclear words, then the chorus resumes the first beat. The 2nd verse adds a rapid 'eh-eh-eh' thing. Then the beat minimizes to introduce the frosty warnings. The next clappy part removes the bass midway. The bridge is a bunch of dramatic bangs and muffled “hurt me”s. And the outro electrifies. It's a dark and dangerous, bass-heavy instrumental. It paints the image of meeting up in a sketchy place at night. In the song, Athena knows her admirer has naughty intentions. But she's in control and sets the terms – he must accept she's independent and ambitious. She doesn't care if he leaves. The diamonds are a metaphor for self-worth, since they only shine on her. He assumes she's not interested, but Athena turns seductive in the clappy parts, using “boy” lures and “hurt me!”s. She'll put him in chains too! How kinky. She shows 0 nerves sitting next to him either. The national final had poor sound quality, but there's male dancers and a throne.

My prediction: 60% (#22 odds/ #15 scoreboard app). I think this would've been the “Hvala, ne!” of 2020. It would benefit from the second half having so many ballads, and it sounds modern. It's a polarizing genre, but that might actually help it stand out. It probably wouldn't do much in the grand final though. BORDERLINE IN.

Portugal: Elisa - Medo de sentir This might be the most forgettable entry of 2020. The rising “eeeEEEE” hooks stand out, but the melody is weak and it's a generic FDC ballad. The song is just boring to me. Elisa's delivery seems heartfelt though. She's afraid to love again because of previous failed relationships. She rejects anyone who invites her in. Their gestures make her nervous. Their “I love you”s sound fake, and she doesn't believe they'll stay. Her loneliness won't stop. But she wasn't always putting her guard up. In the bridge, she ultimately asks if they'll wait for her, meaning she hasn't given up. I get the sense she wants to change. The song opens with a “da-DA-da-DA-dun” piano sequence, and it remains a depressed piano ballad for the first verse, while Elisa gives a gentle and vulnerable vocal. The verse ends with a “tah-ha ha-ha” and an “mm-hmm”. Then the chorus introduces the foot thuds, as the piano becomes louder. The instrumental stops midway, then a subtle woodblock appears. Verse #2 adds the strings. Chorus #2 adds the triple drum bangs. Then the pace finally picks up in the bridge, where the drums roam free. This leads to a big note climax, as the piano/drum bangs escalate - it's the moment when Elisa has had enough. The song goes silent afterwards, until the slices appear. And the last chorus has thunderous drums. But this instrumental isn't the most interesting. And the song isn't noticeable enough. Elisa gives an emotional performance in FDC. She sings to the pianist at one point.

My prediction: 20% (#36 odds/ #32 scoreboard app). I think this is too forgettable to qualify, and the other ballads in SF2 have more going for them. UNLIKELY.

Georgia: Tornike Kipiani - Take Me as I Am This just isn't my thing. Tornike's screaming is grating (especially the long notes and the “ME” and “GERMAN” growls). The song is excruciatingly slow. The instrumental feels like I'm drowning in quicksand. And the lyrics call out anti-Georgian xenophobia by... listing stereotypes of other countries. So basically, Tornike is whining about Europe not loving Georgia's Eurovision entries. He's discouraged from being himself, and expected to assimilate to western culture. But he'd rather be authentic, and loved for that. The lyrics only mention the Big 5 countries, so I guess he's mad they get a free pass, while Georgia NQs. In the chorus, the female backing says “I love you” in those 5 languages to give him validation. I get Tornike's point, but it comes across like he's guilt-tripping us into sympathizing with him. As for the production, the intro guitar is like static electricity scattering. Then the verse starts restrained, with deep guitar, deep vocals, and buzzing bass; like we're deep underground. But once the song shifts, his voice changes, and the intense background is overwhelming AF - it's like standing next to a vacuum cleaner. It's just a stationary wall of noise. The percussion kicks, echoes and bone-cracks also move slowly. The chorus doesn't offer any variation, and the long “youuuu”s and “aaaaam”s drag on. Verse 2 thankfully pauses the vacuum, if only briefly, for some subtler sounds. Chorus 2 adds the orchestra. And the song ends with a horn and a cymbal.

My prediction: 45% (#14 odds/ #27 scoreboard app). This is the hardest one to predict. People will either love it or hate it. But Georgia's other left-field entries didn't qualify (like 2012, 2014, 2019, and 2022) and I think the juries would tank this too. BORDERLINE OUT.

Bulgaria: Victoria - Tears Getting Sober Billie Eilish's influence didn't take long to reach Eurovision. Victoria uses a similar minimalist vocal style, and the backing “mHmHm”s mimic Billie's vocal layering. But this combination creates a cool texture regardless. “TGS” opens with those ghostly hums alternating sides; followed by an icy 'ding... ding... ↓wind down↓'. Then Victoria's voice and the bare piano are very intimate and personal. The humming returns for the chorus, with some “i-uh-i-uh-i” hooks, but it's still pretty bare. Verse 2 adds a tiny harp(?) that ticks like a clock. The new pre-chorus has a backing wail. The next chorus adds the strings, pausing for an “mHmHm” midway. And the bridge recoils into this quivering thing. But then... the strings grow (thru the “GROOOW” climax) and fall down, the horns rise back up, and that final chorus gives me the chills. Victoria's voice and the orchestra breathtakingly soar, with a midway rise-up. The song quiets upon “scar”; ending with a clarinet(?) and one last hum. “TGS” is a modernized version of the grand, sophisticated ballads of the past. It does a good job of holding back patiently until the climax. In the lyrics, Victoria sarcastically says “great!” - her mental health is affecting her 10 times a day. She knows she has to let go of the pain and the burden. She'll move on in time, but the scar leaves a mark. There's a couple of unusual phrases, like “sugar in my wounds” instead of salt, implying they're sweet lies. Plus the song title – I guess “sober” means “dry”. And the dirt metaphor comparing her to a plant. Later in the song, Victoria is amazed by her growth. It's her first time trying too! And the grandiose finale symbolizes her transformation.

My prediction: 99% (#1 odds/ #4 scoreboard app). It's one of the 6 winner contenders of 2020, and this would do really well with juries. The Billie Eilish vibes might appeal to the televoters too, since that makes it modern. She could just sit on a bench like the music video, and I think it would work. LOCKED.

Latvia: Samanta Tīna - Still Breathing WTF is this drop? It sounds like an elephant struggling to sneeze; with glass shatters thrown in. It's so rigid and it keeps getting blocked off in an unsatisfying way. Which is a shame, because I like the rest of the song. It has a good message - as long as you're still alive, it's not too late to grow or change. The recurring, circling, distant chants of “I will keep on going / I will keep on running...” are a mantra to motive yourself, believe in yourself, and control your destiny. The chants sound resolute and ominous; like they're coming from a poorly lit, abandoned gym. The song opens and closes with them. The intro also leaks steam midway, followed by irregular clock ticks. Then the kick-clap trap beat takes over, while ejecting several blares. The verses swing in midair, and the trap beat remains in the later chants. There's another leak, then the popping squeaks and the backing responses anticipate the drop. Verse 2 reduces to those squeaks before the beat returns. Samanta raps over the second drop. There's a breather before building to the third. And the song ends on a 'DO-DO-DO-DO'. So, Samanta felt like giving up and staying in bed. Her life was going nowhere. But she's not looking back anymore. Now she pushes herself to improve everyday. The build-up into the drop signals her growing strength. And the rap section mentions her ambition and self-love. There's also that “Life is music/I am a composer” lyric lol. In Supernova, the 3 backing singers wore face shields and used spray bottles... it was 2020 after all. The flashing lights are overwhelming though.

My prediction: 40% (#35 odds/ #21 scoreboard app). I think this is just too experimental for Eurovision. That “drop” might instantly turn some people off, particularly the juries. Also, “The Moon Is Rising” was last place in the semi, and Latvia has one of the worst qualification records. And I can't see BOTH Armenia and Latvia qualifying. But... it does stand out, so BORDERLINE OUT.

Predictions recap... Locked: Iceland, Switzerland, Bulgaria, Denmark Likely: Greece, Serbia Borderline in: Armenia, Albania, Austria, Poland Borderline out: Georgia, Finland, Latvia Unlikely: Czechia, Moldova, Portugal No chance: Estonia, San Marino

SF2 Winner: Iceland Jury winner: Switzerland or Bulgaria Televote winner: Iceland Last place: San Marino

My Ranking:

01. Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - Think About Things 02. Bulgaria: Victoria - Tears Getting Sober 03. Armenia: Athena Manoukian - Chains on You 04. Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Répondez-moi 05. Poland: Alicja - Empires 06. Albania: Arilena Ara - Fall from the Sky 07. Serbia: Hurricane - Hasta la vista 08. Latvia: Samanta Tīna - Still Breathing 09. Finland: Aksel - Looking Back 10. Denmark: Ben and Tan - Yes

11. Czech Republic: Benny Cristo - Kemama 12. Moldova: Natalia Gordienko - Prison 13. Greece: Stefania - Superg!rl 14. Portugal: Elisa - Medo de sentir 15. San Marino: Senhit - Freaky! 16. Austria: Vincent Bueno - Alive 17. Estonia: Uku Suviste - What Love Is 18. Georgia: Tornike Kipiani - Take Me as I Am

#eurovision #eurovision song contest #eurovision review #eurovision 2020

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