#he told me it wasnt and that it just happens when people “get old and fat”

[robyn-i-guess]

positivity posting is OVER i am experiencing critical levels of stress and if anyone so much as talks to me within the next 24 hours they will get kicked into the ground and personally hit by lighting

[acecasinova]

I am

Rotating my vampire in my mind

[usedtobecooler]

(I know you don't write for Steve but this just came to me) What about Steve teaching virgin!reader how to blow virgin!Eddie?!

Pairing | Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington x fem!Reader

Warnings | sexual content (18+ minors dni), handjobs, blowjobs, inexperienced virgin reader, inexperienced virgin eddie, experienced pushy steve, awkward boners, bullying, mutual pining.

Word Count | 2.8k

A/N | i've never written for steve before and i took this and ran with it lmao, i hope i did your prompt justice!! if any of you see any mistakes, no you didn't, this wasnt proof read.

Eddie and Steve's relationship had always been odd. You'd noticed it from the first time you'd ever hung out with them, when Robin had dragged you along to meet her friends. You hadn't known her for long, but Robin was loud and unabashed and adamant you had to come hang out with her outside of work.

When you'd first clapped eyes on them both, you noticed the air seemed thick between them. The way they'd bite at each other constantly, bicker and call each other names, the way Steve's eyes would linger on Eddie's lips a second longer than what would be deemed appropriate.

It seemed like a constant fight for dominance, especially when the kids were around. A battle of who Dustin loved more, who Mike looked up to more, who Max harbored a secret 'big brother' liking to more. It was a constant game, and you wondered if they even liked each other.

Then, sometimes, they'd be sweet with each other. Steve would knock Eddie back with a gentle hand when he was about to stumble over a curb, Eddie would grab Steve a burger even when he said he wasn't hungry. Steve would even help him set up the D&D table, he didn't understand what it was about and never played, but he'd help anyway. Even when Eddie bitched that the way he did it was wrong.

So, it was weird. The more time you spent together, the more you found yourself being sucked into the dynamic unwillingly. Robin said she could tell Eddie had a crush on you, which made you blush -- he was cute, and surprisingly really nice despite the hard exterior, but Steve caught onto it pretty quickly and used it to his advantage during their bickering.

You'd walked in on them arguing about you one day, when they clearly thought they were alone. You stood behind the doorway, eavesdropping;

"What would she want with you, Munson? You're a twenty year old virgin, trust me she's not interested."

"Oh yeah? As opposed to what, exactly? The town slut? As if you're any better than me because you've fucked every girl our age."

"At least I didn't jizz in my pants when she gave me a hug."

"That didn't fucking happen, and if you tell her that I'll kill you."

"Ooh, scary."

The admission of Eddie being a virgin was unsurprising, chicks weren't exactly queuing up outside his trailer to fuck him. But, he was pretty, like devastatingly so. Once you got to know him he was a great guy, smarter than he made himself out to be and nothing like the people of Hawkins claimed he was.

The next time you all hung out together, three joints deep and a bottle of scotch being passed around, you made a point of also admitting to being a virgin, to make Eddie feel better. Steve had stared at you open mouthed and flustered, Eddie had choked on his gum, Robin had watched it all unfold and let out a loud barking laugh.

You'd hoped that it would settle Eddie's mind and maybe get Steve to back off and stop hounding him about it, particularly in front of you.

And now, how you ended up in this situation is fully Robin's fault and she'll get told that when you next see her. Her and Nancy had bowed out of your designated movie night ungracefully, claiming to be slammed with babysitting Holly at last minute, but you knew better.

The three of you were crammed up on Steve's bed, and you're wondering why he and Eddie willingly chose to sit next to each other, so close their arms were squashed together and their legs knocked. You were watching The Lost Boys, at Steve's adamance, because apparently it was the horror movie of the year, but you begged to differ, nothing exciting had happened yet.

It gets to a sex scene, and you awkwardly shuffle from where you're sat next to Eddie, cheeks burning hot as you avert your eyes from the screen. Neither of them notice, enamored with seeing a pair of tits on the screen like a pair of twelve year olds.

Your fingers accidentally brush Eddie's own, and you shoot back like you've been scalded, "Sorry, Eddie." You whisper quietly, settling back into your pillow with an inch of space between your bodies for safe measure.

Eddie sucks in a sharp breath, which catches Steve's attention, making him turn away from the screen to look at you both, eyes flitting back and forth. Then, a scoff escapes him, "Trust you to pop a boner at a pair of fucking tits, Munson."

You furrow your brows, glancing down to where Steve's eyes wandered and oh. Eddie was hard, straining against the loose plaid pyjama pants that he always wore when you guys hung out at night, refusing to buy a pair of sweatpants.

Eddie's face is flushed a dark red, you can see it as clear as day from the glare of Steve's TV, "Fuck off, Harrington. They're a nice pair of tits."

"You're such a virgin, you want some help with that?" Steve wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and you think it's meant to come out as a joke but the way Steve says it seems anything but. He looks at you over Eddie's shoulder, motioning towards him, clamping a hand down on his leg, "Don't you think it's about time he got touched by something that wasn't his right hand?"

You flounder a little, unable to form proper thoughts at what Steve is insinuating, "What do you mean? That I should help him with that? I'm the unwilling third party here, keep me out of your homoerotic bullshit."

"We could both do it, silly. Was it not totally obvious that he's got a massive crush on you?" Steve shrugs like it's nothing, and you feel Eddie tensing up next to you, can see his cock straining further in his pants out of the corner of your eye. In that moment it clicks for you that they're both into this, have probably been waiting a while to find themselves in this situation, with you specifically.

"At this point I think you have a crush on him, you're so obsessed with him it's hilarious." You snark, leaning forward a little until you're crowded back in Eddie's space, hands bumping each others, "What do I get out of this, exactly?"

Steve looks you up and down, a cute grin gracing his face, "Trust me, you can have anything you want."

You chew on the inside of your lip, genuinely thinking about it. Did you really want your first time doing anything sexual with another person to be in a threesome? You clench your thighs at the thought, a wave of heat flushing through your body at the thought of being touched by four hands at once, two mouths.

You wonder how Eddie feels, he's uncharacteristically quiet. You hazard a glance back down, and Eddie has his hand clamped over Steve's own on his thigh. So, yeah, clearly he's into it too.

"Aw, c'mon, don't you want to show the freak a good time?" Steve asks, a smirk overcoming his features — it's disgustingly attractive, a far cry from the usually sweet Steve you knew when Eddie wasn't around, but it did things to you, made your tummy clench.

"Steve, I've never done this either... you know that," You pull your bottom lip with your teeth, chewing anxiously. It's not as if Eddie had anything to compare you to, you were both a pair of bumbling touch starved virgins, but you didn't want it to be bad for him, either.

"Harrington, if you don't stop rubbing my thigh I'm gonna cum in my pants," Eddie's voice cuts through the air, loud enough to knock you out of your trance and making you look up at him, taking in just how disheveled he was already from the merest touch.

"I'll show you how to do it," Steve says, completely ignoring Eddie's protests, never taking his eyes off of you as he brushes his hand up Eddie's thigh even higher, knocking his clothed hard dick with the back of his hand. Eddie hisses, Steve grins and lets out a cackle, "Won't take much, anyway, not if this is anything to go by."

"I am right here," Eddie balks, throwing his hands up in the air. Steve shushes him, shoving into Eddie's space like an eager puppy to grip at his pants and pull them down his thighs.

Of course Eddie doesn't wear underwear under them, why would he? His cock springs out, flushed and hard, the tip a pretty pink colour that makes your mouth water, a small amount of precum blurting out of his slit.

"You guys good with this?" Steve double checks, Eddie whines a little, which is enough of a reply for Steve. You don't even reply, batting Steve out of the way with one hand and wrapping your other one eagerly around the base of Eddie's dick - which to your delight elicits the prettiest little moan from his mouth.

"Eager little thing, isn't she?" Steve smirks at Eddie, which in return has you rolling your eyes and Eddie nodding his head fast. You slide your hand up the length of Eddie's cock slowly, shocked by how your fingers don't even wrap around it fully, all girthy and nice to touch.

"Right, you've not got enough lube for your hand to glide properly, here," Steve leans forward, mouth just mere centimetres away from Eddie's dick, and he lets out a glob of spit onto the head.

"Fuck, what the fuck," Eddie's words comes out erratic, eyes wide as he watches Steve spit all over him without a care in the world, like this was normal and something 'bros' did. Your hand squeezes the base of his cock a little to focus his attention back on you, hand sliding up to rub in the mess of Steve's spit and get him all nice and wet.

"There you go, see? Much easier." Steve's cocky demeanor is starting to diminish, you can tell by the way his voice comes out softer as he watches your skin connect with Eddie's, the slick slide of your fist up and down his cock. You feel Steve's large hand ghost over your lower back, under your shirt. You gasp quietly at the touch, the burning heat of his skin on yours making you shiver.

"Does this feel okay?" You ask Eddie quietly, ignoring what Steve just said because what the fuck would he know, it's not his dick being touched.

"Feels good, sweetheart, cross my heart." Eddie's cheeks are tinged rouge red, neck veins popping a little as he clearly struggles not to blow his load. You can see Steve looking back and forth between you both with curious eyes, smile still on his face, clearly enjoying watching a pair of virgins going at it like a creep.

"Do you want me to use my mouth?" You ask tentatively, cocking your head to the side as you keep eye contact with Eddie to try and gauge how he feels. It's meant to be innocent, comes out dirty. Dirty enough that Steve's hand moves to grip at your waist slightly, a soft sigh escaping him.

"You'd like that, right Eddie?" Steve's smile is sickly sweet, but you can tell he's starting to fold because he's using Eddie's real name, not his last name or a stupid nickname. Eddie nods silently, eyes shutting and head thumping back against Steve's plush headboard.

You slide down the bed quietly, shuffling until you're nestled in between Eddie's spread legs at an angle that meant you could just lean forward and slide your mouth over his length, "Tell me what to do then, genius."

"Take your hand off him, I'll do that, you just put your pretty mouth to use," Steve's slender fingers move yours out of the way until you're releasing Eddie's cock, his own large hand wrapping around the base and squeezing, making Eddie whimper.

Steve guides Eddie's dick over to rub the tip over your closed lips, smearing precum all over them. Your tummy clenches, ridiculously turned on by what you're doing, unable to stop your mind racing. You feel dizzy, like this is a dream you'll wake up from any moment.

"What're you waiting for? Wrap your lips around the head, give it a try." Steve's demanding, his voice firm with you, so you lean down and close the distance, opening your lips and sinking down onto the head, hot mouth engulfing Eddie's cock.

"Jesus Christ, fuck," Eddie cries out, can't help but open his eyes to look at you, has to see what you're both doing. The sight of Steve's massive fist around his cock, jerking it lightly into your mouth, you sucking and licking at him - he's teetering on the edge dangerously fast.

"Feels good, right?" Steve chuckles a little, looking between where his fist and your mouth meet and Eddie's blown out, wide eyes, "She didn't even need any help, knew just what do on her own like a good girl."

You and Eddie both moan in unison, the vibration on Eddie's cock enough to have his hips bucking up wildly, which in turn causes Steve to reach his free hand out and push him down onto the bed harshly, "Don't cum yet, Munson. Don't be a little bitch."

Eddie chokes out a little sob, whining at Steve being mean to him. It makes his body run hot, the coil in his tummy tighten. You glance up at him, mouth still full of his cock, just to make sure he's okay, and the bit of eye contact has Eddie losing it.

"Sorry, fuck, sorry, I'm cumming," Eddie grips at a chunk of Steve's meaty thigh and he comes with an embarrassingly loud yelp, Steve's hand tightening as he jerks Eddie's cock into your open, willing mouth, swallowing his release down like you'd done it a million times before.

You kitten lick at the head until Eddie shakes with sensitivity, popping off with a little grin, "You good? Back down to earth yet?"

Eddie smiles dumbly, saluting at you with two fingers, body completely sagged into Steve's plush sheets, flaccid cock still out, "Alive but barely."

You clamber up the bed, the sudden urge to kiss him overtaking your body. You fist a hand in his messy curls, pulling him up to kiss you. Eddie wraps an arm around your back, kissing you all sloppy, teeth and tongue, to an outsider it probably looked gross, but it was so hot to you that you wanted to cry.

You break apart to catch a breath, forehead to forehead with wild eyes and stupid little smiles on your faces. You ache with how much you like Eddie, a love for him overtaking your whole body. Steve clears his throat at your side, pulling you out of your trance, making you turn to look at him.

He's got a firm hand gripped into the arm of Eddie's shirt, you can see his own cock tenting in his loose sweatpants and God, it's big and intimidating, even through his clothes.

"Don't be greedy, share it with me," Steve closes the space between you both and smashes his lips onto yours, licking into your mouth expertly to swipe over your tongue. You moan into the kiss, cunt clenching at being used in this way. He kisses more firmly than Eddie, more sure of himself, it's nice in a different way.

Just as you're getting lost in it Steve pulls away, a whine dying in your throat when you open your eyes to see his face gliding closer to Eddie's, and then they're kissing too. Steve grapples for your waist with closed eyes, tugging you even closer to them both.

They're animalistic with each other, like they're both angry and filled with pent up rage. Eddie grips a hand in Steve's mane of hair, has him groaning into the kiss that's all teeth and grunting. You watch through hooded eyes, unable to take your gaze away from them, wetness pooling in your pretty underwear at the sight of them both.

A whine escapes you, the noise filling the air and cutting off their kiss, both of them looking at you with differing gazes. Steve looks like he wants to pin you down and fuck you into oblivion, Eddie looks like he's in love. Steve sits up a little, grabbing at you and Eddie with every free bit of his big hands, fingers roaming unabashedly.

Steve glances at you both, a smirk back to gracing his features, "If you think I'm done with you two yet, you're sorely mistaken."

[mangosrar]

i haven’t heard from you since.

chris sturniolo x fem reader.

idk if i specified but they’re in a relationship and have been for like 3 years!!

also hey y’all i disappeared for a while but i’m back 😛and i’m currently trying to get through the requests so be ready 😈love y’all. bee ❤️‍🩹

how had it become like this? it seemed so unbelievable that there was a point in yoir life where you thought you were going to marry him, have children, and grow old together. if someone would have told you three years ago that you would both end up like this you would have laughed in their face. he used to be so sweet, so passionate about you, but now that couldnt be further from the truth.

you werent really sure when the change happened, or why it happened maybe a little after your birthday, maybe before. of course you knew people grow apart but this wasnt growth. this was borderline misery. the constant fighting, the days of ignoring one another, the nights where chris would come home at 2am and not say a word to you after you had been waiting up for him, it was nothing short of torture.

but still every single time, both of you just let it blow over, waiting until the next bomb went off, but the long lasting was lasting a little too long.

"oh please, like you were actually worries" he scoffed, taking his hat off and throwing it on the kitchen table.

"you stormed out on me, you didnt even tell me where you were, youve been gone for 5 hours and you stroll in at almost 3am expecting me to be cool about it? what fucking planet are you living on" you said staring at him.

he didnt even reply he just shook his head, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms, keeping his eyes trained to the floor. a moment of silence passed as you waited for him to say something, anything, and finally he took a deep breath in and pulled his eyes up to meet yours.

"maybe i just dont wanna fucking be around you" his voice was quiet and soft, a stark contrast to the sharpness of his words. his expression was stoic and completely unreadable.

he watched the colour drain from your face, as he did every time he would bark an insult at you. a small part of him felt nothing but pure joy to know that he had the power to completely crush you, like when murderers say they feel no remorse for the people theyve killed, but another small part of him was bleeding, a self-inflicted stinging, like a pain he had never felt before.

"you know what chris, day by day i realize everything i miss about you was never there in the first place, the person i fell in love with was a fucking mirage." your words were dripping with venom. his face faltered for a second, momentarily letting the mask slip, and the pain your words were causing him beginning to slip out.

"you dont mean that" he looked like he was about to burst into tears, and it made your mouth run dry.

you tried so hard to keep it together, but the tears that had gathered in your waterline threatened to spill with every single Shakey breath you took. there was a pregnant pause and the effect of your words hung in the air. chris stared at you intensely and you let your eyes rest anywhere but on him, you couldnt look at him, at the chance of seeing him with watery eyes and a wobbly lip might make you fall at his feet once more.

you took a deep breath before eventually meeting his gaze and beginning to talk.

"i dont know why things changed chris.... but one day i woke up and we no longer spoke the same language, and i havent heard from you since" chris watched every time as he crushed you, but now as he took your place, standing there with his hands by his sides, mouth hanging open, taking rapid breaths, in and out, while trying not to cry, he felt as though you had murdered him.

"that doesnt mean i dont love you y/n, we can work through this, weve done it before, ill be better i promise i will" he spoke with a wobbly voice.

the tears were now full force streaming down your face. he stood there across the kitchen with wide eyes, trying to think of how to come back from this, but there was something about the way you opened your mouth to speak again, that told him there wasnt.

"i cant relax around you chris, if i relaxed my body now, id fall apart. if i relaxed for a fucking second, id never find my way back. why cant you see that?" you paused for a moment and shook your head at him in disbelief. "why cant you see that you are tearing me limb for limb when i have done nothing but love you? why cant you understand that i have poured all of my heart and soul onto you to try and wash away whatever it is thats made you like this and you are throwing it back in my face? i mean when will this fucking end?" you were yelling and you hadnt even realized you had made your way over to him and were now standing less than a foot away.

"y/n please, dont do this. ill get my shit together and ill be better because i love you" he looked at you with pleading eyes as he spoke, reaching out to grab your hand, but when you pulled away before he even got the chance to even feel your skin on his, it was like he had died right there in that second.

"do you?" you whispered, swallowing thickly, desperately trying to stop the floodgates from opening more.

chriss face was wet with tears as he stared down at you sniffling. he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. he was completely gob smacked. he never thought it would get to this point. but as your eyes bored into his, wordlessly begging him to say something that would fix this, he felt as though the earth was crumbling beneath his feet.

his silence gave you all the answers that you needed, so with that you turned around and walked away, and the sound of his broken voice calling your name, spoke volumes.

he knew it was over, he knew that you were about to go upstairs and pack your bags and walk out the door, but he didnt do a thing to try and stop you, he knew he wouldnt be able to fix this even if he tried, so he watched you walk away, and the second you were out of sight, he fell to his knees, clutching his chest like he was dying and letting out sob after sob, like it would mend all damage he had done.

in the next room, you were frantically trying to keep your self control. the urge to walk back in there and wipe his tear-stained cheeks and kiss his broken heart better was paralyzing. the sound of him wailing and weeping was soul crushing, but this had to be done, one of you had to be strong enough to walk away.

you knew he would leave such an imprint on you, he had left such severe claw marks that anyone you even entertained after chris, would have to know him in order to understand you, and that might have been the worst fucking part.

—————————————-—————————————

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @soursturniolo @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @mattslolita @flowerxbunnie @lovingsturniolo @its-jennarose @ermdontmindthisaccount @secret-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @justaslvttygirl @urfavstromboli @recklesssturniolo @delimeats-000 @nickdevora @gwenlore @sturnioloenthusiast

[ganondoodle]

still thinking about how even just the decision to basically act like the shiekah tech never existed is just ... so baffling to me

bc again you could have done all the sonau tech does with shiekah instead, and they were perfect to be explored more in a sequel, why wouldnt you grasp that potential, the literal building blocks for more??

if you are that tired of shiekah tech .. dont make it a fuckign sequel to the game prominently featuring it???? totk doesnt take place generations after botw in which things could have changed drastically, its just a few years afterwards??

you want to reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech? ok fine take LINK into the past then and the focus is for you to find a way to return; do some neat twist where its revealed that link was the one who sealed gan bc he couldnt defeat him without zelda or something if you dare (they wouldnt)

want less work than that and still reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech AND reuse characters? ok then make it some alternate universe thingy like majoras mask in which everythign is the same but also isnt, its weird and creepy how characters you thoguht you knew suddendly dont act like themselves, shiekah tech doesnt exist, malice is now miasma, etc, it would give reason to why you feel so much like something about this world is familiar yet also very wrong

as far as im aware every "sequel" we have had so far were either generations apart from the first one, some alternate universe or a different location altogether- in all of which its plausible that things are different, things seem weirdly familiar but also wrong, or that another continent just works different from hyrule

but totk does none of that, its supposedly just a few years after the first game, same world same character, but its BUILT like some strange jumbled mess of stuff from botw and new stuff out of nowhere that just .. doesnt fit, but feeling a strange sense of otherness, a déja vu of something you know but it acts off, like an imposter, thats NOT intentional and it shows, its a mess of botw stuff, from stuff that people missed from the old games and entirely new stuff; i dont doubt it CAN work but the way it turned out is like a mix of 3 different puzzles forced together and being told 'see it fits!' even tho you can clearly see the pieces dont look right in these places

again it feels like a sequel that desperately wants you to forget the first game happened, that anythign from it mattered at all

and that isnt really ... the sense of a sequel? why insist on it being one when it only creates problems? is it marketing?? just like it was marketing to call age of calamity a telling of what happened before botw but then it wasnt that at all and that is still the sole reason why i dislike it? bc i was lied to? totk is like 10000 times worse than that, its a main title and doesnt even have the excuse of yeah its basically an excuse to play all your fav characters in fun ways and the game beign well aware that being its main appeal; what is totk appeal? a toybox with botw aestethic and none of the flavor?

(on a sidenote; the sonau tech doesnt even .. matter? in botw at least calamity ganon was made of shiekah tech parts and him overtaking other tech is a big point, the sonau tech doesnt serve anything but .. idk minerus useless mech? gan doesnt even aknowledge it, he doesnt care, all it is is toys for the player, not link, but the player. the monsters mining the tech materials? what for? gan doesnt give a damn and they dont work for the yiga either??)

i said it before but it gives me the feeling that the way botw invited you to theorize, to look beneath the surface, the way it intrigued you and laid the groundwork for so many interesting things without denying anything.. was accidental? or perhaps put in the game without the directors noticing? i cant stop thinking about them saying sth like "after botw zelda wondered if the kingdom of hyrule needed to keep existing the way it had been before the calamity, but then totk happens" bc it just feels like they realized too late that botw naturally led into questioning the status quo and they scrambled to fit it back into a flat and boring road we have seen so many times before (or even worse really) with totk

zeldas character naturally leads into her questioning and reexamine their history and set of rules? we gotta teach her a lesson of why she is importante god given monarchy girl that has to keep it bc what if evil brown man shows up again for no reason

maybe im grasping at straws here but looking at it this way the sonau .. make more "sense"; the shiekah were a group that was under the rule of the royal family, and misstreated before (oh no look soemthing interesting) so they dont lend themselves well to be used for teaching zelda that lesson- the sonau however are tailored really to be just that; they are a supposedly godly race from the literal sky that founded this version of hyrule, that had tech even more advanced and better than the shiekah, she gets put in the past to meet the perfect god king of goodness personally, also his very fridgy wifey that zelda later replaces in a way, shes put there and treated like family and then gets to see just how evil that evil big man from the desert is, sonia is falcon-punched to death solely so zelda can feel obligated to take over her role, have her new, better 'family' hurt by gan; similarly so raurus sacrifice, look what a noble and good king he is, he payed the ultimate price to lock that evil man away, now zelda you cannot let their sacrifice go to waste, rebuild that divinely good kingdom like it was!!

and even though they go so much out of their way to put the cart back onto the rails of black and white-good and evil in an even flatter way than the old games, it still doesnt feel right, at least to me, it still feels like zelda shouldnt have gone along with all of that, it feels like even her character from botw was walked back entirely, except for the intro, it made her feel like a stranger to me-

because this is a sequel, i know this zelda, she wouldnt act like that after all that shes been through, this feels ... off

and it all just insulting to anyone who cared about botw more than surface level, or the zelda lore in general, i dont even care much about the timeline, but theres alot of lore and themes beyond it that felt ignored, especially so given that .. its a damn sequel, non AU, not generations apart, directly part 2-

but its not.

it even feels very "corporate", put zelda in a dress again, people liked that, put crazy abilities in the game to flashbang people with how insane it is even if its not the best for the gameplay or the story, put a new asthetic into it out of nowhere bc its 'new' and act like its been there the whole time, put gan in there bc people miss him and find him sexy even if his role is just as flat as that of an evil cloud monster-

*sigh*

you know, i saw a post that said aoc was like a bad fanfic (affectionate) and totk was like a bad fanfic (derogatory) and tbh thats like one of the best comparisons/summaries i have seen ..

[bara-izu]

Would Halion be sad as well hearing astarion's backstory?

Cause I definitely did 😭😭😭

*Story Spoiler warning / me rambling about my Tav*

Yeah he was pretty devastated... He understood the small parts Astarion told him early on, he knew cazador was a bad person and it fueled a desire to help this random guy claim back his freedom. The vampire part was of course a surprise, Halion can be a little naive so it gave him whiplash lol

But as their journey continued he started to pick up on Astarion's reactions, realising just how much abuse he had endured...

Being a teifling, Halion was able to read the inscription on Astarion's back and help translate it, he of course didn't quite understand it fully, since it was only a fragment of a larger manuscript, but just the fact someone could do that made him angry...

Another case being the drow in moonrise who looked at Halion like he was Astarion's handler, the whole interaction made him mad. He basically told the drow to fuck off.

This followed the interaction with the hug scene

Then jump forward to after killing the orthon, being sarcastic with the "repeat after me: thank you for helping me, it was very kind" - Halion is up for banter, but the way Astarion replied in such a monotone, obedient way made him instantly regret it...

Arriving in Baldur's Gate, paying a visit to the Tabernacle, when astarion says he is not religious because "beleive me, I tried praying to them all, but none of them listened" struck a chord with his devoted Lathander ass...

- Fast forward again to the Szarr palace -

Halion decked Godey. Goodbye skellyman. Fuck you. The palace was not a fun place, and he recognised it brought up some not great memories, reading Cazador's journal also filled up his anger meter... But also admittedly Halion was taken back by the interactions with the spawn in the dungeon. He knew through Astarion's admittance that he himself was just a means of "protection" when they first met, that it was instinctive for him to seduce people as a means to an end. But hearing Astarion agree that Halion could have been one of the victims lured to the palace was a bit of an awakening. Astarion was also very defensive for a lot of the things that he did, flipently pushing the blame. There was a weird mix of emotions, on one hand Halion knew it wasnt Astarion's fault since he had to follow orders, but on the other hand, he felt understandably upset/frustrated.

During the confrontation with Cazador, he stayed silent as he felt it wasn't his place to say anything, instead, got ready to blind him with the sun >:)

The final thing, finding out how old Astarion was before he turned, (possibly a mistraslation so don't come after me) but believed to be about 39 when he died, wrecked him. Firstly, that is a similar age to what Halion is now, secondly in high elf culture, elves are seen as mature 'adults' around 100 years, so not only had astarion spent more time as a slave, then not, but also he was so young when it happened... Halion wants to take the opportunity now to show him the kind of life he should be living at that age.

But in general didn't want to pity Astarion. He is a survivor, he is strong, he is stronger than the person Cazador thought he 'made' him, and he was incredibly proud of his actions in the dungeon. (Stopping the ritual, setting the spawn free)

So yeah, he was very sad, but also incredibly angry on Astarion's behalf, he wants to show he is there as a supportive figure, that it's okay to be vulnerable around him, but also not smother him because he recognises he finally has that independence back :') Bonus for getting this far: (enjoy some cute/silly screenshots)

[danthepillerman]

Meeting Star Platinum☆

Jotaro x reader ♡

Your first time meeting Starts Platinum wasn't... forgettable to say the least.

Taking time outta your busy day was now a daily thing for you, getting out of classes a bit earlier then the rest to sneak out of school and ditch the rest of the day with jotaro, then after going back to his place for a bit or to yours to study. Either you followed his lead or he followed yours. You both trusted eachother enough to walk aimlessly behind the other. So that how this day started.

Walking out of class a few minutes early then sneaking past the security guard thats way to dedicated to his job was the easiest part about this whole meeting plan you both do. The hardest part being the aftermath of it all, for you at least. Jotaro couldn't care less about what happens in class while he's gone, he did leave for a while 50 days two years ago. He told you snippets about his trip and how he now hates Egypt. You two met two years after you transfered from your old school. Your old school was more chaotic then the one you're at now, leaving that school was easy because there was no body who would've cared.

Being the quiet smart kid people would pick on for fun was tough but at least you now have a chunk of muscle as your closest friend. Hating the fact you ditch classes just to spend time with him was unusual and made you want to itch at your skin till it all was gone, but you didn't mind either. You enjoyed any moment with him. Still sucks you won't know some things on the test next week but heyyyy who cares right? Making your way to the gate you both meet at you see a tall figure, and smoke coming from it's mouth. Jotaro. He turned his head and looked at you dead in the eyes, your body shivered anytime he just stared at you. "Hey Jotaro" you spoke out softly, getting closer to him. He looked down at you and took his cigarette out his mouth smushing it onto the wall behind him then flicking it into the trash can next to him "hey."

It was hard to read what this man was thinking, looking into his eyes for a bit to see what he's feeling, you gained this habit as a kid. Looking at someone's eyes can say a lot or very little. For jotaro...it was very little to understand what he felt or what he was thinking. "Follow." His tone was strict and demanding as most times he'd ask you to follow him, he walked fast because his legs were longer than yours but hed take smaller steps so you can walk either behind him or right next to him. Rambling about something that came to mind or your childhood favorites wasnt rare, you thought he didn't listen to you but he pays very close attention to whatever you say to him.

His heart was racing with what he was going to tell you, although most people think seeing stands for non-stand users is impossible it really isn't, the SWF found a way to show non-users stands. Which is how some of the workers have seen stands. Just so happens Mr joestar was giving a pair of the special goggles they use and gave them to jotaro, they are more like dad shades then goggles but they still call them goggles anyway. When jotaro found out about them he was over the moon, may not have shown it but he was, he's been wanting to show you star platinum so you didn't think he was crazy when he talked about it.

"so tell me, where you takin me today?" His train of thought was interrupted by your voice. "some random ass waterfall I found back at the park we went to last week. I went over there a little after we did and started searching the forest next to it, found a pretty sick waterfall." He pulled hit hat down and turned away. It wasn't just the waterfall he wanted to show you, obviously, but it wasn't star platinum either. What he really wanted outta all of this is to the see look on your face when he shows waterfall. He can picture it now, your face lighting up with joy, your eyes sparkling as the water does, your smile bigger then ever, a slight hint of blush of your face.

"here grab my hand this part is tricky" He said putting his hand out to you as you both tried getting over some rocks, in doing so getting close to the waterfall and whatever he wanted to show and tell you. The sky clear of clouds and the wind blowing just soft enough to tickle exposed skin. You can't help but feel as if you're about to be proposed to or confessed to, look at it from a side point; nerdy-ish girl and the delinquent boy go to a waterfall after ditching classes, are BEST FRIENDS and the day is beautiful. That's my story animation right there if I haven't seen it. You knew it wasn't the case though, jotaro never showed any signs of having romantic feelings for you, hurt to admit but you can't live in denial for long.

"alright we're here." He said pulling you onto the concrete. Just as he imagined your face light up light a torch. The waterfall had ingrown plants everywhere, there wasn't any graffiti on it and it looked old, it had beautiful flowers growing from the cracks and vines all around. "wow.." your smile was so big it was starting to hurt a little but you couldn't stop now. Why should you when you're this happy? Jotaro loved seeing you like this. A subtile smile tugging at his lips couldn't be help. He wanted to say how he felt so bad, he wanted to tell you that he loved you, he wanted to scream it from the top of his lungs how me wanted to marry you one day, he wanted to kiss you and laugh with you. His heart aches for you but he had to hold back just a bit longer, first you meet star then maybe if he still has the balls he'll tell you how he feels.

Time went by as you two sat down and just talked for a bit, the subject finally came up. Stands. "So tell me about your star platinum, how does he look? How strong is he? Is he nice or mean???" You bombarded him with questions. "How about I just show you him?" He ask you, rising a brow and turn your head in confusion as to how, as if he read your mind he pulled out some goggles and handed you them. "with these you'll be able to see stands, the people from the speed wagon foundation use them cause some aren't stand users so they invented tech to help them out with us" you put them on and smiled up at him. "Do I look good?" You winked at did finger guns "no you look awful" he chuckled lightly.

"alright. I'ma bring him out 'kay?" He spoke softer then usual. Nodding your head quickly excited to see his stand for the first time. You saw a purple figure slowly rise from jotaro's body, and them as if nothing it was there. There he was for the first time ever for you, Star Platinum. His hair defined the laws of gravity and floated in the air, his skin was purple with a few lines of gold that flowed in squiggles. He wore shoulder pads that looked his armor and a head band type thing his his hair, he was stunning. "holy fuck." Was all you could say. Jotaro chuckled at your response. "He's also pretty strong" before your could say a word you were in star platinums arms, he through you up and cought you like nothing. A mix of screams and laughs escaped you as this happened, jotaro over joyed with how you took it.

Star platinum set you down and retreated back into jotaro's body, "your goggles back good sir" you said handing them back as if you were some sort of knight to the king. "Why thank you my loyal knight" it was rare that he went along with your sarcasm or little things like this, but you loved it when he did. A smile still on both your faces, you semi out of breath, him with a flushed face it was nice to just be here with him like this.

It felt like time slowed as the two of you stood together, he looked at you with soft caring eyes and a warm but small smile. You looked at him with the kid of look only explained like a lover who's finally gotten to see the love of their life after years of not getting to. He wanted to blurt out he loved you, and so did you. It's like you two spoke to eachother without saying a thing. You knew after all this time of not knowing how he felt about you, you knew he loved you. Both of you feeling the connection and spark lighting up with every last once if your beings. He wanted to say I love you so bad but it was to soon, way to soon. So he smiled a little more and rested his hand on top of your head, he didn't want you so see him so this was second best. He would've pulled down his hat but that's to obvious.

"Y/n, I feel like it's pretty clear what I'm..." He stopped to rephrase himself. He hated words at this moment in time. "Y/n, would you like to go on some sort of date with me?" He could feel your body heat up just with his hand on your head. "yea..why not" he knew you wanted to scream yes but he's taking what he's getting. No complaints.

He removed his hand from your head and looked at you for a few seconds. "Let's go back to my place, it's a Friday so if you want you can stay the night or something. Maybe Saturday or Sunday we can do that date thing" he grabbed your hand gently and walked off. "Already holding my hand aye??" You said with a teasing tone "I'm just trying to help you get across don't get the wrong idea." You laughed lightly and started talking about some field trip you went to when you were a kid and how you hated your 6th and 8th grade teacher. He didn't say a single thing once to stop your rant.

[bingusbongu]

Julian from the Arcana. With an academic/noble reader

Like they meet at some point in the castle and the reader is in the library or some shit

-🖋

A/N: so sorry this is short, i havent played the Arcana in SUCH a long time, but i remember Julian being my favorite. He was so goofy silly and my favorite route! But, as an fyi, im slowly burning myself out, so if i dont update everyday dont come after me for it. Also, since i havent played this game in a long while, i may have the story wrong, let me know if i do so i can fix it, thanks! Again, supper short, to tired to do a bunch

Readers lines are in pink, but they are Gender neutral!!!!

《Masterlist》

《Rules》

Julian x Noble! Reader

• Julian HAD to have snuck into the castle if he were to meet you for the first time. After all, he is a wanted criminal, depending on when he meets your character

• maybe he was looking for more clues about what happened to the king or left something of his behind in his studies, which brought him to the library. He still had a key that Portia gave him, who he told her he lost it so he could come and go as he pleased, as long as he dosnt get caught that is.

• what he didnt expect was to actually find someone in the library. The library that has been out of use for auch a long time. That someone would actually be in it to begin with. He only thought that he and his sister had the keys... maybe Nadia, too.

• he stopped at the door to study you, just staring at you. How neat and beautiful your clothes were, and how stylish you seemed, with your jewelry and established posture. You must had been an guest at the castle, or a friend of Nadias to be looking so upper class and being allowed in the library.

"Its rude to stare, you know?"

Your voice caught him off gaurd, he must have been staring at you for you to notice. Even with your book in hand, you looked up at him with an unimpressed look as he fumbled over his words for an answer.

"Well.... i uh... didnt expect to find anyone taking of intrest of these old books" he would recover himself, trying to put on his best grin to make him not seem suspicious.

You would roll your eyes at him and continue reading as he stood there awkwardly. Until clearing his throat, picking out a completely random book and pulled up a chair to talk to you, which you responded, despite being intrested in your book, to his questions.

The two pf you chatted, and when he told you his name, you already knew who he was, which astounded him. But, instead of alerting the guards, you just sat there quietly while reading your book. Flipping through it withiut a care in the world as Julian freaked out you were going to call someone.

You just sat there reading, without a care that an alleged and wanted criminal was right next to you, but you liked your book more anyway. Just shrugging at him whem he asked

So, instead, he sat there and talked to you while you responded back to him. Him learning of your nobility abd why you were in the castle to begin with. One of the most engaging talks he ever had that wasnt with his sister that was scolding him.

You had to leave at some point to go help Nadia, leaving Julian alone with his thoughts and old desk.

• now, Julian couldnt stop thinking of you. So, now at the same time every day, he would sneak into the library in hopes to find you, and of course, there you were. Reading the same or a different book in your lap.

Julian would stride in to talk to you. Greeting you with a smile and sitting down to talk to you about lord knows what. Even occasionally throwing flirts at you just to get you to look up at him from youf book.

His visits became frequent, despite them being a secret, he still somehow managed to meet in the library at the same exact time as you

• he definitely tries to get you to laugh by using rich people humor, which hardly gets a crack out of you, unless he actually says something funny or gets flustered

• at first it was just library visits. Then when Julian could go out without hiding, youd have him show you around the town, incase if you are new or just never got out long enough to see it all.

• makes stupid jokes about how he would throw himself in a mud pile to keep you from stepping in it to get you to roll your eyes chuckle at him

• always claims to be your night in shining armor when out and about, declairing he would protect you. Only to jump at the sight of a mouse skittering along the floor

• tries to learn upper class flirting to use on you. If he dosnt flirt enough now, just wait tell he adds in royalty

• you find it stupid, but Julian is stupid enough to make kt work.

• if you buy him anything he us intrested in he would try and decline as he litterly is screaming inside

• alittle bit nervous that he was a citizen and not a royal you shoukd end up with. Makes him paranoid that he is to poor for you to love/like him

• attending jis silly little plays makes him brighten up when he sees you

• def jokes about joining the royal gaurd just so he could spend more tims with you

• he liked it, after all

[monstersinthecosmos]

rainy green days remind me of working on ships in a way that feels so visceral and somehow overwrites every other rainy green day in my life; i don't remember how this happens every spring, maybe because i could stay inside on a rainy day, but on ships we are so desperate to be on land, to smell the earth, and it doesn't matter if it's pouring rain, you still go outside. you explore the port, because ship life is fucked up and hard and you have to make it mean something. it reminds me of working alaska, where things moved so fast and i was so stresesd, i'd be crying in my office at 2am on gala night, and it reminds of me eating stale pizza from under the heat lamp and slamming iced black coffees and getting to bed at dawn and feeling the rumble of the anchor room as we made it into ketchikan, and i think about how i'd debate if i wanted to get dressed and go upstairs for food, because i was allowed to eat the guest food if i was in uniform, but i wanted to go outside, so i'd have my big hoodie and my headphones and i'd walk around in the rain, and i'd think i should eat outside and experience the port better, but it was so much tourist food, $18 lunch entree, $20 bag of gourmet popcorn, and the time i went into a cafe to use the wifi and i bought a coffee but it turns out it's a restaurant, they only give the wifi password to people buying an entree, the entree is $30 for local seafood, they don't have to-go cups and my coffee is so hot i have to just sit there in silence and drink it and waste my whole hour outside on it, because it was expensive and i only make $2/hr and i'd feel guilty wasting it, but when i'm outside i stop worrying about work and crying in the photo lab and gala night and my douchebag misogynist manager and the argument we had about the b-deck storage locker.

anyway when it's rainy and green outside it reminds me of walking around alaska because i was so stressed i simply had to get off the ship, didn't care that it was raining, walked around ketchikan and got soaked and bought fancy lemon scented lotion that lasted me half the contract, and i remember drinking coffee one morning on the empty back deck in juneau when i was on IPM and wasn't allowed out, but the deck was so shiny in the rain and the mountain was foggy and it was so pretty just sitting there getting fresh air, and the guests don't want to sit in the rain so it was empty, and it was quiet and nice. and i remember going to the library in akaroa and going to an old cemetery in kirkwall after having expensive breakfast in a garden shop and taking a bus ride out to marlborough vineyard with a stop at a roadside chocolate shop listening to tool on my headphones watching the rain through the window thinking that the drive reminded me of eastern long island where i grew up and the time it was almost-raining-but-not-quite wandering around pago pago and it was so humid i felt soaked anyway and everything smelled like barbeque and there were chickens wandering around in the street.

sometimes it feels antithetical for stuff like this to remind me of ships because so much of ships was living inside a windowless metal room and the constant machinery hum that was white noise but sort of wasnt and the ship smell--the ship smell--that you get used to after a few days but now and then you notice it again, and cramming into the crew elevator with 10 waiters who all wear too much cologne, and the smell of photo chemicals and the motion sickness and the mind-cramping boredom of gallery shifts and the sense of being On all the time because you lived at your job and i remember my manager on my first contract who seemed a little scary but wound up being a close friend and how he caught me in the middle of a meltdown and told me i needed to go outside more because it's not natural to live inside metal and the time i let him use my uber account so that we could find an orthodox church in florida and go light a candle for his cousin that died and the way he crouched on the ground outside and pet the grass and said he missed being outside even though he was only two weeks into his contract.

it's weird that it's so lush and green outside today and i'm so excited about it, it's so pretty, i can't stop looking out the window and i keep pacing the house to go stand outside on the porch, and it reminds me of all of this. and like a lifetime of rainy days in spring somehow don't permeate my memory the way working on ships does, i guess because it mattered more.

[eclipse-rain]

TR ; Yin and Yang : Part 2

☆☆☆

Warnings; Pronouns : she/her, Slight manga spoilers, TW : ¿slight? angst, Tense you/your

Part 1 •Part 3

Masterlist~

You never knew your biological father.

You think you werent suposed to ever find out anything about him.

You think they tried to shelter you.

Your mother and brother did.

To keep it from you like they did with so many other things. Shelter you from the outside world that the eyes and ears of a child are not ment to yet witness.

You heard your mothers husband, your brothers father, had an affair with another woman. That was how your younger non-blood related sister was born.

You wondered why that happened.

Why he had an affair with a woman other than your mother. Why he would do such a thing since mother really seemed to love him so much.

Than again you were never told how you were brought into the world either.

How you came to be.

It had to have happened before he cheated on mother considering you were older than his daughter, even if it was only by a couple months.

Although, even after considering your similarities to that sister you didnt think you were brought into the world quite like how she was.

You didnt think she was born out of love like how you thought shin and his younger brother were. But you also thought that the reason she was born wasnt the same as your reason for birth either.

Which begs the question once again.

Why were you born?

Why didnt she throw you away?

Your mother.

Why didnt she get rid of you?

Out of a sense of responsibility?

They were right.

You knew they were.

When they had said everyone would have been better off if you were never born.

And your mother and brother tried to keep that from you. To shelter you from the truth. But even if you hadnt found out that day, before you even knew the meaning behind those words you were hearing, you probably would have found out one way or another.

Your mother loved your brothers very much.

She even loved their sister who was not her own.

But did she love you?

Could she have?

I mean could she really have?

When you grew old enough to finally comprehend and understand you came to a conclusion.

You didnt think you could have if you were in her position.

So you always asked yourself those two reoccurring questions.

'Why was i born?'

And,

'Why didnt she get rid of me?'

I guess the time had just finally come.

At the worst time when you finally dared to have hope.

You were cast aside.

You were thrown away.

Like you were always ment to be.

You had fooled yourself too long on the delusion of hope. Hope for a better future, for a better life in this world.

Mabey it actually gave you a bit of relief like how it did when your mother died and you thought you no longer had to be kept on the edge of uncertainty, of unknowing. A scared child who finally didnt have to stay strong anymore.

Or so you thought.

You were taken away in that black car and away from any dream, any hope, of a regular life with a normal happy family you had at that time.

Now you had two new questions to answer.

What was your purpose in life?

And where would you go from here?

Unfortunately, though, you didnt know if it was unfortunate for yourself or everyone else, you could now only see one direction that would point you in the direction in which might answer those questions.

And that was down.

Down the wrong path.

The path of darkness.

The path of no return.

Or so they say.

Who's they?

You weren't really sure.

You didnt think anyone was really sure.

No one really knew.

But people fear the unknown.

They fear the darkness.

The embodiment, the physical apperance of the unknown in this world.

Not you though.

You would embrace it.

You had to.

Or it would consume you too.

Then mabey embracing it was like sentencing yourself.

But if that was the case than at least it was the first thing in your life that you had control over.

And you would do anything in your power to keep it that way.

To keep yourself from ever again feeling the powerlessness of those days in which you could do no more than watch as your life was debated right in front of you and you couldnt do or say a single thing to stop it.

When your life was thrown around in front of your eyes carlessly like you were a rag doll. A side character in a story getting in the way of the main characters happiness.

Like you were a doll who was only ment to sit still while her body was moved for her. Her arms and legs repositioned and her face painted on like a mask.

A mask to cover the fact that while she was beautiful on the outside, on the inside she was only hollow.

That she didnt have a soul.

So to keep yourself from ever being thrown away again you would put a lock and chain around your heart and build up the walls of the barrier that had long been forming behind your mask.

You would throw yourself down the path of darkness.

Of tranquillity.

Of refuge.

The only refuge left in this world for you.

You, who had finally been cast aside after being kept on the edge of your seat, on the edge of that pirate ship plank, would take the plunge into that icy water below, into that unknown.

So you would no longer have to seek out those things, for if you let the power to have those things rest in other peoples hands to hold over you it could strike a fatal blow.

A final blow.

One you could not return from and if that would be the case you would rather the finishing blow be by your own hand.

That even if it was in your last moments you would be the one to have control over your own life.

Of course this change didnt happen straight after you were taken away in that black car.

No, no. It didnt happen until two years later.

You had not been so weak willed that you could not retain sanity or understanding or compassion for the situation you and your older brother were in. You had done it many times before.

Fought down your own feelings to please others. Why talk when you could say something wrong? Why breath when you shouldnt be alive in the first place?

'A waste of space' they told you. Live like your dead so you dont bother those around you, thats the least you could do.

And so you would do that once again, although it didnt bother you as much when it was for your brother. Yes, your feelings were hurt but you could understand, couldnt you?

There were responsibilities, there were priorities. So you could push your own feelings aside to not be a bother or a hinderance of any sort. And if you werent a priority for your older brother than you couldnt do a thing about it. Of course this was all just your thought, the way your mind worked, the thoughts that were always flowing without end.

It was another thing in your life that you had no control over. But you tried your best to do so and so you pushed everything as deep in your heart as you could, put everything on the highest shelf so you wouldnt have to face it.

You chose to remain ignorant so that you could keep your older brother even for a little longer. Only, you didnt know how little time that would really be.

You think it actually all started, your decent into the unknown, when locks of your hair fell like those flower petels withering.

Those flower petels, the ones from the flower you layed at the side of your mothers picture.

They withered as time went on.

And so did you.

They say time heals all wounds.

The same 'they' that are afraid of what they dont understand and so in their hardest efforts not to face the truth they make the most practical understanding they can for themselves.

So they can stay ignorant in their own little bubble without having to face the outside world.

Mabey thats what you were doing too.

Creating your own little bubble.

Mabey you were just like them.

Or you would have been, if that bubble hadnt been popped.

Mabey you could also have been blissfully ignorant.

But that chance had long passed you by and the most ignorance you had instead were the four walls of the barriers around your heart that time had also built up. As well as the walls of the orphanage where you were forced to grow up.

The dull damp grey walls that looked like they would blow apart if there was a strong enough wind.

The walls of the orphanage, not the ones around your heart.

No, no, those ones had been built far sturdier, time had been kind to them and done them well, at least thats what you thought.

More hair fell.

Lock by lock you got rid of one of the cursed key features that made you be abandoned by your brother, to you, hacking off as much as your could without mangling your face.

Of course after your mother died and you were abandoned by your older brother there was no adult left to take care of you, shelter you, so naturally you would be staying right you always had been.

In that damned orpahnage.

Though now you thought that if you were going to say goodbye to that same brother, whatever feelings you now held, which even you couldnt quite discern, you should at least not look the same as when he had last seen you.

The last time you had seen him alive which was also the time he had abandoned you.

And mabey for that reason. Your damned appreance. Your damed hair which you hacked off in an effort to pretend like you were actually doing something useful to relieve your anger.

You thought back to that time. The time you last saw him.

No, not the time after your mothers funeral. Not the time you were taken away in that black car by another social worker and back to the orphanage instead of to a warm and happy house with your brother.

But two years after.

Just a little while before the accident that permanently ment you would never again get to see your older brother.

It happened on a day much like the day of your mothers funeral, another day in the pouring rain.

Only this time you had been the one who chose to walk away from shin instead of being taken away from him forcefully.

You heard that hair holds memories.

So that when a girl gets broken up with thats why the first thing they do is cut their hair.

To get rid of the memories, good or bad, to start anew.

To be reborn.

The same could be said here, only when you were done and the slight cuts on your fingers bled from where you were careless with your scissors, you seemed to have replaced one dead face with another.

A newer ghost of a person.

Now instead of the last one you had buried you looked like one whos blood had only recently been spilled. Whos body was basically still warm.

And whos funeral you had been preparing to somewhat attend.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, the way your hair now hacked off into shorter pieces fell around your face, shaping it, made you look strikingly and sickeningly like your older brother, Shinichiro.

The one who now lay in that casket instead of your mother.

Of course he had also looked like your mother.

You both shared much the same face as her, you had heard that his younger brother also had a strong resembalance to her.

You recalled how your mother and even shinichiro had loved your long hair. Your mother would often spend time brushing the soft locks as she sat in her hospital bed with you sat close in front of her body.

She would praised it by saying how beautiful you were and shinichiro would chime in saying you took after her as you would agree and giggle at the compliments you were given.

She would sit and brush it all the while you both talked together in the hospital. And then when ever you would leave and return to the orphanage you often felt a sensation, almost ghost like, of a hand, your mothers hand as she stroked the top of your head.

Then your mind would immediately switch to how shinichiros much bigger, stronger, hand would roughly pat the top of your head with his calloused fingers from working on the bikes in his mechanics shop daily.

Then the question of why you were at the orphanage at all would continuously pop into your head.

Why did shinichiro and his little brother get to live with their grandfather while you lived in this place. Even their little sister lived with them as well.

You had heard that she had previously lived with her mother and her mothers husband but shin had taken her in to live with him when she was three.

This you had not heard from shinichiro or your mother like the other bits and pieces you heard from them about your other siblings. This, you were told by someone diffrent but also in much the same situation as you.

You wondered why emmas mother was willing to let her live with shinichiros family when she already had a family and why didnt your mother, who knew you didnt have any other family, let you live with them as well.

Were you missing something? Were they keeping something from you like they always were? Trying to shield you again? Or was it all just a misunderstanding, a mistake?

Was it because they all shared the same dad while you had no blood relation to him. Their dad had been their grandfathers son so perhaps that was the case. You were only the child of his son's wife so could you really be allowed to be part of their family.

You stared at yourself in the mirror.

You saw your older brother staring back at you.

Your eyes had always looked rather lifeless, creepy even, you had been told by others, but now even more so.

No matter how hard you tried then you couldnt recall what it was like to cry.

Or when the last time you had cried was.

You hadnt shed a single one at even your own biological mothers funeral.

Your eyes remained bone dry, no tears would flow.

Not now, not then, not since a long time.

You had heard that shinichiros younger borther had the opposite problem.

And that he thought it must have stemmed from the conversations he had with his mother. The start of his dream to be strong, to protect.

The conversations about his father in which he recalled the only memory he had of the man before he died. That was of a little superhero action figure and what it ment to be strong.

'Mikey had always tried his hardest to be strong' - like those memories, you had been told.

He always tried his best not to cry. But you, you had the oppsite problem.

You couldnt cry anymore.

No matter how much you wanted to, no matter how much you tried to make the tears come out, your eyes remained dry.

And your heart remained void.

Another memory had started to resurface but you forcefully pushed it away when you heard a noise behind you.

When you turned that person seemed to have just seen your face properly. It was also their first time seeing you with your hair cut short.

You knew then, by the look on their face, that you werent the only one who thought you looked like your older brother.

Like Shinichiro.

"You're not going to the funeral...are you?" You asked in a monotone voice.

You caught the hint of a grimice when you looked him in the eyes, much like how shinichiro had done when you had started to look a bit too much like your mother after her passing.

You stared at the man who had returned back to the dazed look on his face seeming as of he were a million miles away. The man who chose to ignore you as you didnt get a responce to your question but you didnt need one, you knew the answer. You knew he would not be going.

You would once again have to walk up that aisle alone. There would be no hand to guide you this time. You knew shins death had hit the man hard, as it did you. You suposed you just were able to hide it better since hiding your emotuons was something that you had long grown accustomed to doing. You also knew that was most likely the reason he was not going to his funeral and also because of the last interaction this man had with your older brother.

One you had unfortunately been present for. One which unfortunately had also been your last interaction with shin.

At that time you had once again been made witness to the broken trust of another person. Witness to the lies and the heartbreak. To both sides of the story and the unfareness of the world.

Something you were too young to have already witnessed countless times before.

And when your that young and someone who has never yet learned how to rest and been witness to such betrayal, the lines get skewed.

Good and bad. Morals and empathy.

You learn from the wrong person, witness the wrong things and suddenly your walking a whole diffrent path wheather you mean to or not.

You had blocked that out as well, when your vision had been blurred, the lines turned askew. As many seemed to do as a coping mechanism.

Maybe it started at your first betrayal mabey at your last. Mabey it was when your mother died or the conversation you had had with her just before her health went downhill for the final time.

The conversation that would never leave your mind no matter how much you wanted it to.

The day when your mother had taken a turn for the worst in the hospital and you knew the end was near.

That day when the rest of your astranged family all gathered in the hospital as you peered at them from around the corner of one of the white hospital walls.

Those two siblings that you had never before met and their grandfather who knew of your existence and often sent you small presents on your birthday or get well wishes through shin whenever you fell ill but who you had never personally met either.

And shin stood in the middle of them all as you peered around the corner at him hoping he would spot you as you had come looking for him.

The news had just been shared. Your mother was dead and they were just about to go into the room to see her lifeless body laid out on the hospital bed where she spent the last years of her life.

You had yet to see her but you had been with her when she had taken a turn for the worst.

You were the one who alerted the nurses and made the call to your older brother about what had happened before the hospital could.

You had yet to see her lifeless body but you didnt want to, you couldnt, not when you had been the last one to see her alive.

You could hear the crying of a young girl from inside the room and you watched as a moment later a blond haired boy who looked much around your own age stormed out of it and veered towards the staircase before decending down them.

That must have been shins younger brother. The one who was so hung up on the idea of being strong. You wondered then what his idea of strength was. If he could cry without restraint in a house where he didnt have to be strong to survive. When he could rely on other people, the people around him, his loved ones and the ones who loved him back and if he couldnt than his only barrier was himself.

Like yours was, like your is.

Although you hadnt started to build barriers around your heart until a while later.

But you already know how that part of the story goes.

A minute later shin also came out of the room. His head turned in all directions around the hall. He was probably looking for his younger brother who had left the room a little while before him, you had thought at that time.

And mabey he was or mabey he was really looking for you. You didnt know and you didnt want to find out so that if the answer was one you didnt like you wouldnt have to bury your feelings once again like you always did for those around you. For the sake of happiness for everyone else even at the cost of your own.

"He went that way" you said as you pointed a small finger in the direction of the stairs in which Manjiro, Shins younger brother had decended.

Shin had stopped when you said that. You expected him to turn and go in the direction you had pointed to, to follow and console his brother but he only stared at you.

You had stayed in your position hiding behind the corner of the hospital wall when you had spoken, only showing half of your body. Shin started to slowly walk over to you and you backed behind the wall more. So that you would both not be seen together if anyone were to leave your mothers room and venture into the hall or if his brother were to walk back up the stairs that also led to it.

He turned the corner to follow you and now with you both behind the wall he was standing in front of you as you both stared at each other neither knowing what to say.

What could he say in this situation. He didnt know. He was the adult. Ten years older than you who was only two months older than Emma. Making you thirteen months younger than Mikey. You were still a child and you had just lost your mother.

The only parent you had and the only other person you had with you all your life other than him. What could he possibly say except...

"Im sorry" he murmured as his voice cracked holding back tears.

"I'm so, so sorry" he repeated as he knelt down on the hard white tiles of the hospital floor in front of you and wrapped his arms around your much smaller body.

You could do nothing more than stay still as he hugged you. It hit you then. Your mother was really dead this time. There was no going back from here.

You couldnt move. You couldnt cry. You couldnt think.

It was a rush of everything and nothing all at once.

So you just let him hold you.

You let yourself rely on him.

And that was the worst mistake you could have made.

But you couldnt stop yourself.

And in that moment you didnt want to stop yourself.

Right then all you wanted was to fall into his warm embrace.

You wanted to soke in your amazing older brothers light and reminisce in all the memories you had with your mother that you would never have again and that you could never make more of.

But that embrace he gave you spoke to you.

It told you kind words.

Words that said 'its going to be alright'.

And just for a little while...you would let yourself believe that.

☆☆☆

If i accidentally delete one more of my drafts i will have a mental break down and you will be made hear about it 👹.

@rianemorgan @kazuhabrainrot @night-shadowblood-writes2

Anyone who comments gets tagged unless you specifically say you dont want to be tagged in your comment just so ye know.

[morwap]

im such a slut for one bed trope when it leads to smut 😟‼️ can you write something like that for steve please?

also sorry if my english is bad bff i never listened to my english classes tbh

bby ur english is great!

s4 v1&2 spoilers if you havent watched it yet

fwb!steve

sitting squished next to dustin,max,lucas and robin in steve’s car. you honestly dont even know how you all fit in it.

you having offered your place to camp out for the night since it was the closest place and all of you were very very tired plus your mom and dad had gone to Washington to help your aunt.

unlocking your door and letting everyone in, your room wasnt far from the living room so you were just going to sleep there.

“i think we should all be paired up, no leaving one person alone even for just a second” nancy said looking around the group. dustin looked a steve and smiled which caused steve to shake his head.

“no henderson, no” steve said, crossing his arms and dustin rolled his eyes.

“okay! okay! how about lucas, max, nancy and robin and dustin then me and you? does that work?” you asked, trying to make a plan so steve wouldnt have to “babysit” for the night.

luckily everyone agreed, two people with max in case something happens and one has to get the others and robin with dustin knowing he had comics in his bag so they would get along great. you gathered blankets and pillows out your closet and giving them to robin and dustin. since your parents weren’t coming back for a while you showed lucas, max and nancy were your parents room was which was across from yours and brought them some more blankets then told them youd leave your door cracked and to yell if anything weird goes on.

walking to the living room to tell the other two the same but once you walked in you found dustin asleep on robins shoulder and robin leaning her head back on the seats of the couch with her mouth open, snoring loudly.

walking into your room and pushing the door so there was only a crack, steve was looking around your room as if he hasn’t been there before, which made you laugh.

“you dont have to act like you’ve never been in here before” you mumbled with a little laugh, digging through your drawers and grabbing pajamas and changing. “i highly doubt any of them would care that you’ve been here or how you know the place, we all have more on our plates than having them find out we’ve fucked around before” you added.

steve couldn’t help but laugh and nod while running his fingers through his hair, muttering “youre right” as he walked to your bed and flopped down onto it. once in your new clothes you tossed your old ones into your laundry basket then slipped into your bed.

the bed was a little cramped but it wasn’t any different than before, well the only difference was the situation but if you closed your eyes and tried to not think of it, it felt just like over the summer.

clicking off your lamp and getting comfortable, focusing on the crack in the door way, seeing the light from the other room seep into your room a little bit. you felt steve shift around before feeling his arm wrap around your waist and his breathing was now audible.

“well, if you think they would care about that then they shouldn’t care about this, right?” he asked, you could just picture his face with a cocky smirk. his finger slipping under your shirt and making their way up to your boobs.

steve’s lips on your neck, his hand massaging one boob and his hard on pressed to your ass. “i think they’d be a little mad, fucking instead of resting or watching to make sure max is alright” you said and tried to bite back a moan.

“guess they’ll never have to find out then hm?” steve quips in breathy groan, grinding himself on you. feeling his hand leave your tit and move down to your shorts waistband.

“think you can be quiet babe?” he asked in your ear, fingers now going to your shorts and panties and resting above your vulva.

you nod and hum in agreement, pressing your ass against him. you fisted the sheets as his fingers made contact with your clit, rubbing you gently just the way he learned too.

it wasn’t too long before you were sopping, getting steve’s fingers and your panties messy. steve was getting needy and the grinding just wasn’t doing it for him any more.

taking his hand out of your shorts and licking his fingers clean, moving to pulling boxers down and give himself a few strokes before helping you slide your shorts and panties down.

rubbing his tip along your slit before moving closer to pushed himself into you, your back flushed against his chest. you made a soft noise but it was louder than intended which made steve clamp his hand over your mouth and shushing you in your ear.

starting to thrust into you but quickly stopping when you both noticed someone walking past your room.

moving his hand a tiny bit, “it was probably just robin going to the bathroom” you whispered and steve nodded and you both waited for them to walk past your room again.

once the person did steve started thrusting again, steve was trying not to make your bed make any noises while you kept your eyes locked on the little crack incase someone was waking past or about to walk into your room.

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

CHAPTER 16: WOOYOUNG

wc: 5242

warnings: mention of death, violence, drugs etc, SMUT

prev chapter

***

san

i remembered that wooyoung was afraid. he was scared of what would happen if miss A ever found out he shot mingi and deliberately antagonized a hotshot black dragon. looking back, i thought the black dragons would be anatagonized anyway because we caused shit in their side of town to get yunho back, it shouldnt be this big of a deal.

so why are so many bad things happening?

i didnt go to school today. i emailed all my teachers a forged sick note, claiming i couldnt leave the house because i went to the doctor and got diagnosed with sinisitic dizzy spells. most of my teachers are really helpful and good people, so they sent me the work they did for the day so i wouldnt miss out.

being a 'delight to have in class' aka a quiet smart kid who wasnt a pain in the ass had its perks sometimes. regardless, i used my morning to get all my money ready, of which i had just over enough to go to miss A to get her off my back.

when i get there, the place is crawling with old gangsters. miss A is screaming at people and when she sees me she's shocked, as if surprised i actually had guts to show my face. shes propped behind a round steel table in her garage, leaning back in her chair and the room goes silent as her eyes are on me.

"look who it is," she says to me, dipping her cigarette in her ashtray. "Lucky, you better have good news for me."

i bow to her and put the potato sack of money on the table. unfortunately i didnt have anything really fancy like a briefcase. im a fucking gangster on a budget.

she glares at me. "potatoes? is this some kind of joke?"

three guys restrain me out of nowhere, holding a knife under my throat. my breath gets stuck in my throat and i only manage to force out one thing. "m-money."

she doesnt tell them to let me go, which pisses me off. what the hell did i do to make her this mad? she lifts the opening of the sack and only when she sees the cash does she wave the gangsters to get off of me.

they drop me so hard i fall with my butt on the floor and i make no real move to get up in case they jump me again. instead i get to kneeling. "miss A, that's the money from all the dealings."

"i can see that. oh wow, you actually decided to be useful," miss A says, getting up and coming up to me. she puts her hand down on my hair and gently scratches it like you would a dog and i struggle to not show any fear. "if only wooyoung could be like you."

her words make me sweat. "where is wooyoung, miss A?"

i swear, if she laid a hand on him. i dont know what i would do, but no one here, including me, would be left alive.

her eyes darken. "i was actually hoping you would tell me, Lucky. your brother has become a magician. a cold case."

she doesnt know? did wooyoung actually skip town?

"i told him to bring me the hand of who killed my boys or else i would have his. he hasnt been back in days."

fuck. this is bad. im actually starting to get dizzy.

someone rolls into the garage, and my face drops in horror at the man and his disfigured, burnt face. hes in a wheelchair, an armbrace and has a bandage wrapped over everything but his mouth and eyes.

"you and your buddy got changbin and a lot of good boys killed. look what they did to seonghwa." miss A says.

that's fucking seonghwa? he looks fucked. hes never recovering. he wouldve been better off dead. now he really looks like something out of a horror movie, a real, terrifying disfigured butcher.

"that hongjong motherfucker," miss A laughs but there's nothing joyful in it. "he came into MY warehouse, burnt MY cargo, killed MY men. and all because he was looking for you two."

im struggling to breathe. i dont show it but im silently breaking down. i cant take my eyes off seonghwa. thats it? thats my future? i might as well kill myself. seonghwa killed yunho, he was one of the topdogs in the gang. im fucking nothing. if thats what that hongjoong guy could do to him then its over for me.

"he said that?" is all i can get out. miss A lifts my chin and forces me to look at her.

"you're not a boy anymore, Lucky. you'll always be a baby in my eyes, but its time for you to get serious, dont you think?" she tells me. "wooyoung is gone. so someone has to fix this. you know the rules, you make a mess, and you clean it up."

"miss A-" i start stammering. i feel like im going to cry. "we didnt do anything. we never even met that hongjoong guy. wooyoung shot mingi because he tried to kill him. it was in self defence."

"did i ask for an account of what happened?" miss A's voice drips with sarcasm. "i dont care who did what. but my boys paid the price. i wont let an attack on my turf go unpunished. you find wooyoung and you two will go and kill that fucker or i'll have you swimming in a fishtank with the rest of yunho. am i clear?"

fuck no. fuck my life is over. i just started having sex and now i have to die. this is a fucking nightmare.

"yes, ma'am," i nod my head. "when do you want this done?"

"before my boys suffer another attack. he wants you, so let him come."

"you won't find him," seonghwa says and he sounds like a lays packet trying to talk. his voice is raspy and sounds terrible. "he only shows when he wants to be found. and he wanted to be found that day. so make him come to you."

i dont want him anywhere near me! i want to scream. look at what the fuck he did to you.

i have to run away. i have to do it tonight. i have to take everything. i cant think clearly, my brain is beating so hard i can feel it in my ears.

i nod and get up and miss A distractedly starts counting the money. "so you got the money fast. i always knew you could do it, you were just lazy before, yeah?"

i had help, i want to say. yaera's stealing, her savings, wooyoung stealing all mingi's gambling winnings, fucking jongho. i couldnt have done this on my own. i would have been dead by the end of this month.

i did all that, just to stay alive. only to have another target on my head. this...it never fucking ends. its only going to get worse. i cant win. this game, its unbeatable.

i almost want to laugh out of pure irony. and yaera wanted me to ask miss A for a fixed amount. she wanted to help me pay off my dads bullshit debt. im never going to be free.

my hopes and dreams are gone.

"you still have your dad's gun right?" miss A asks me. i say yes in the smallest voice.

she smiles. "you better get to using it then, Lucky."

i leave miss A's garage with nothing left in the tank. nothing but another assignment. an assignment that will kill me.

im the sacrificial fucking lamb. why is she doing this to me? because she thinks i can do it? because she wants to get rid of me? i did what she asked of me. i got her yunho. i got her the drug money. now she wants me to kill an assassin? an assassin that already has a bodycount of seven?

and hes brutal. four of those were other gangsters, luckily none of those were ours at the time, but he guts every one of his enemies. he was connected to a murder of a prostitute. and cut out the stomachs and sliced off the hands of two guys who apparently looked at his sister.

what the FUCK am i getting into.

i get home and i dont know what to do. everything comes crashing down on me. i throw my fist into the picture frames on the wall, sending glass bursting everywhere. i look at the picture of my parents, feeling nothing but burning hatred. i hate them both. i hate my mother for leaving me behind in this shit life and i fucking hate that bullshit excuse of a sperm donor for killing me.

he killed me. he signed my death sentence.

i start tearing everything apart. im ripping my apartment to shreds because nothing matters. this is all useless, nothing, i wouldnt fucking miss this place. i have nothing but awful memories here. but my anger doesnt last. it comes crashing down so fast that im left to collapse next to my bed and i cant stop myself from crying.

its over for me. everything is.

i had nothing to begin with. nothing except...

without even thinking, my bleeding hand reaches for my phone on my desk and calls her. she picks up on the first ring.

"san?" her voice is comforting and i dont know why. i dont fucking know this girl. she doesnt know me. but shes all i have. and i dont even reall have her. "are you okay? you never call me."

i cant even speak, im heaving into the microphone and sniffling uncontrollably.

"san?" she sounds more concerned. oh shes concerned for me. thats nice. i'll remember how nice it feels when i die.

"c-can you come over, please?"

i dont even recognize my voice. its cracking and its like the pained whimper of an animal. she puts off the phone and i wrap myself around my bedsheets, curling into a pathetic ball.

shes here within 15 minutes. i dont know how she got here so fast. she was supposed to be at school. it was still one period before lunch. she must have been skipping. i wish i skipped more class now that i know im not going to live very long. studying all that shit was pointless. i should have been living like her. like i dont have a care in the world. but i cant. and i never could.

she walks into my apartment with her eyes wide, dropping her blazer off her shoulders and onto my dirty floor. "what the hell happened? are you okay?" she runs and puts herself infront of me.

"did someone break in?" she holds my wet face. i never stopped crying. not once. she looks horrified seeing me this way. i cant imagine how bad i must look. "oh my god."

she hugs me. she hugs me and i grip her so tightly till i feel my lungs tighten. the tears are pouring harder now. im staining her white blouse.

"im going to die," i choke out. "they're going to kill me."

"what?" she gasps. "who?"

i try to speak but i dont stop crying. this is fucking awful. she shushes me and lets me continue, rubbing my hair in the softest way that makes me hope i wont die, just so that i'd experience it more than once.

"im here, dont worry."

of course you are. you're always here. always invading my apartment. always working on my nerves. always in my head since i fucking met you. i wish i didnt take that for granted for as long as i did. if i knew this was all i'd have left.

i dont know what possesses me. i pull away from her, my hands drift up to the buttons of her blouse. im careful so she knows i wont hurt her the way he did. she watches my bleeding knuckles, looking at me with tender eyes. she doesnt stop me. i flick open the first button as she stands above me.

"can i?" i choke out. "this is all i have."

she starts removing her own buttons. "you dont even have to ask," she tells me.

she trusts me so much. if this is all i have left then i dont want to destroy it.

she drops her blouse, revealing her bronze, skin bare skin and black bra. the sun in my blinds isnt doing her justice. i reach behind her and unclip her bra and her boobs spill out right in my face. her skin is warm. shes so warm. she lifts my ugly brown hoodie off my body, trailing her hand down my stomach.

her touch feels like satin. i dont deserve it. she doesnt deserve this.

"i-i dont want to use you as a coping mechanism," i tell her but im talking to a wall. i dont want to but i am. im going to die and all i want to do is fuck her one last time. there isnt enough time in the world.

she kisses me sorely, with way too much emotion for what we really are. two broken, fragile people. we have no business with each other, but she kisses me like i mean something.

"for you, san, i'd let you use me however you want," she whispers against my lips. "as long as its you."

i feel my heart pain. i want to cry again but my dick is hard and i can only focus on two things at once. so i deal with my boner first.

i slide down her thin, pink underwear from under her skirt and it drops to her ankles. she steps out of it and pulls my sweatpants out from under me, immediately sliding herself onto my dick.

she moans softly into my ear and it feels like heaven. shes like heaven wrapped in one complicated woman. she could destroy me. she could ask to end me and i would let her.

i'd rather it be you than anyone else.

i grip her softly and my hands are stinging but i dont care. i feel weak. but somehow with her here, it doesnt hurt as much. shes riding me slowly, its crazy how without any foreplay shes already drenched down there. i guess she does like me a little.

she peppers kisses all over my neck as i hold her up, losing my mind as she slowly sinks and rises onto me. i never fucking liked our stupid school uniform but seeing it on her like this, with her on me, just makes me lose my mind. jongho doesnt fucking know what he missed out on.

"you know i care about you right?" she whispers into my ear. "its about more than just the money. you know that right?"

my lips her are on her chest and i kiss her there slowly. "i know," i mutter. actually i didnt know that. i dont know what the fuck she sees in a dickhead like me.

"good," she says, then pushes me down to my back. she adjusts herself to straddle me properly but i cant watch her struggle to please me. i get back up and flip her under me, pushing her back down gently when she tries to protest.

"but-"

"i want you to feel the way you make me feel," i say. and i never thought i'd ever utter words like that. fuck, no wonder everyone thought i was gay.

i drag my lips down her perfect, sculpted torso and plant them onto her shivering, wet hole. she whimpers weakly as i stick my tongue inside, slowly impaling her with it. i dont care that im taking my time honestly. im going to die, so i might as well make this as long as it can.

i drink up her bitter juices, lapping my tongue across her slit. the moans she lets out are otherworldly, definetely worthy of a noise complaint. i dont mind it. i feel useful for once in my life. i slowly inch a finger into her warm hole, sucking on her pleasure button while im at it. i'd call it her clit, but thats too rough for me.

"san please," she begs. "i want you so bad, just fuck me already."

i stop at her request, getting up and over her. i line myself at her entrance, pushing in slowly. she throws her arms around my neck and the eye contact we have as i just lay there inside her is enough to make me drop it all. i'd drop it all and leave with her, wherever she wanted to go.

her hole feels like home. my dick fits perfectly inside her. its warm and hugs me and i cant get enough of it. i push in and out slowly, taking in her eyes. they havent left mine. her lips are parted in bliss, and i decide to kiss them. she moans into my mouth, and it feels like a fucking spell being casted on me. i accelerate the pace, and the lewd sounds of her squelching and our breaths syncing up are all that can be heard.

it turns around so fast. im fucking into her at a pace thats desperate. like if i fuck her any slower, its going to get taken away from me. everything will. her legs are wrapped around my waist and she clenches on me, as if she doesnt want me to ever leave. i dig my fingers into her skin, holding onto dear life as i feel myself getting closer.

"wait," she breathes. "i wanna do it standing up."

i pause mid stroke. "how?"

"against the wall. lift me."

i go along with it. we get up and she lays with her back against the wall, lifting her leg so i can put it in. i pick her up and she slides onto me perfectly, and this new angle makes my brain go foggy. its so much deeper and tighter, i can feel her soak onto me.

i start ramming into her against the wall and her hair is hanging down her face, making her look like a sexier version of the grudge. she looks utterly lost in it all, and its so enjoyable to watch. i feel like im doing something right seeing her looked so absolutely fucked out.

my legs grow weaker as i hit her walls, feeling myself getting closer to the edge. shes demanding, with her legs wrapped around me she wont stop till ive been emptied.

"you're so fucking perfect," she whisper-whines, and its enough for me to blow. i completely blow inside her and she creams on me at the same time, our juices mixed together like some fucked up smoothie.

i drop her and she doesnt remove her arms from my neck. instead she pulls my body towards her, till we're chest to chest, completely naked amd kisses me harder than she ever has before.

this isnt even because we're fucking. she just wants to do it. and honestly, i needed it so badly.

when she pulls away im left yearning for more. it makes me sick. "thank you," i tell her. "i needed this."

"i know," she says softly. "tell me everything."

***

after i tell yaera everything, we're sitting on the bed beside each other, a painful, weighing silence between us.

"what are you going to do?" she asks, sounding hopeless.

"i have to kill the guy. or miss A's going to kill me."

"the police?" she says but knows immediately it wont work.

"i'd die before miss A sees trial," i laugh emptily. "and i'd go to jail for sure. she has enough on me to make sure i'm wanted."

she's frowning. she's realizing money cant buy my freedom. or my life.

"after you kill that gangster...nothing will be the same," she says. "you'd have blood on your own hands."

i shrug and stare out of my window. "it ends here, yaera. for both of us."

she stands up abruptly and looks like she wants to break into sobs. "no you can't disappear after this. i still need you."

i smile weakly. hearing that makes me feel better. someone will miss me.

"when i'm gone, you can have my apartment. i have some money left over here, maybe you'll be able to get away for good. you'll never deal with that freak again."

she's not happy with my answer. "no, san. i dont want you to go. i dont want you to disappear. cant we catch a one way flight? can't we run? i'll run with you. i promise."

she actually wants to stay with me. when i dont answer yaera bends down infront of me, holding my hands. i cant believe how quickly things turned around. i have so much to lose.

"when you finish your business, we're getting the fuck out of here, okay? promise me. i'll get the tickets, i'll get everything ready. but promise me you'll come back to me."

i cant promise that i'll be alive. i want to, but i dont want to lie to her.

"i cant promise i'll make it back, yaera," i mutter. a tear rolls down her face. "and even if we run away, is this really sustaintable?"

"is what?"

"us?"

she scoffs. "i dont think now is the time to think of what we are. i dont care about defining this relationship, thats not important. all i know is, you're all i have."

"you're all i have too." i whisper.

"thats enough for me. so promise?"

"okay, i promise."

"good, now lets clean up here and pick a place on the map."

yaera and i spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up my shattered apartment. i take my parents pictures and throw it in the spare room where i dont have to see it. when we're done, yaera makes herself at home and lays down in my bed watching youtube. i get dressed and she switches off her phone when she notices.

"where are you going?"

"remember those gangsters you met the night you followed me? im paying them a visit." i tell her.

"your dad's old gang...are you going to ask them to help you?"

"yeah. i wanna see if they've heard from wooyoung. get help where i can."

"okay. is it cool if i stay over?" she asks. "i dont feel like going home."

she doesnt even have to ask anymore. i say my goodbyes and make my way downtown.

getting into mao's place has always been shady, im surprised there are guys outside the door. they see me and are shocked to see me, letting me in and muttering shit in cantonese under their breaths.

i find mao sitting around a table and gambling and by god, i find wooyoung too.

he freezes when i see him and i have half the mind to beat the shit out of him. this is where hes been the whole fucking time?!

"sannie!" mao yelps with his cigarette dangling off his lips. "look we're finally good enough for him again! i heard you've been visiting everyone BUT me!"

i run across the room and catch wooyoung before he can run. then i pick him up and toss him into the closest wall. "you DICKHEAD!" i scream.

mao's men jump up from their seats and get between us. "woah woah woah!" mao shouts. "no fucking fighting under my roof! take that shit to the alley!"

"what the fuck man?!" wooyoung huffs. "arent you glad im alive?"

"you couldnt pick up a phone? you couldnt call me to let me know?" i snap. "i thought you fucking skipped town!"

"i had to toss my phone!" wooyoung stresses. "miss A is looking for me."

"i KNOW! I KNOW SHES LOOKING FOR YOU BECAUSE ITS BECOME MY PROBLEM, WOO!"

i start laughing hysterically. "we're fucked. we're both fucked because of you and i hope you know that."

wooyoung stands up, dusting himself off. he has a remorseful look on his face. fucking say something coward.

"i tried to keep you out of it," he admits shamefully. "i was gonna get it done."

"you were gonna kill hongjoong by yourself?" i scoff. "you'd be done for before you even do anything!"

"mao gave me a gun," woo says. i look to mao and he shrugs.

"you know about this?" i ask him.

"as long as he doesnt involve me, i dont mind helping out," mao says. "i dont want black dragons on this side of the world, but bae su ji is losing her touch."

"who the fuck is bae suji?" both woo and i ask angrily.

"Miss A."

"you know Miss A's government name?" woo questions. mao shrugs.

"we used to date in high school."

we're getting off track. im still fucking angry, i turn to wooyoung.

"so? let me hear this fucking plan of yours."

"i dont want you involved san. we cant both be dead."

it feels like my veins are going to pop. "she's going to KILL ME if i dont fucking do something about that hongjoogn fucker. he put seonghwa in a wheelchair and killed changbin. shes going to kill me if i dont get involved, woo, so just tell me the fucking plan."

"hongjoong's sister is getting married soon," mao interjects. "woo's gonna wipe him out there."

"and then im going to skip town for real," woo says with a dark look. "mao's arranged for me to go to hong kong. im gonna work for him there."

"you know who was also supposed to go to hongkong?" i laugh darkly. "yunho."

the room falls into uncomfortable silence aside from the sound of dominoes hitting the table.

"i'll be there, woo." i tell him. "im leaving town too."

"where are you going?" both mao and woo asks.

"im leaving with yaera," i answer woo only. mao is confused and wooyoung tells him its my girlfriend.

"you left Flor?" mao is shocked. i sigh remembering that yaera gave mao a fake name when she followed me. i dont dignify him with an answer.

"alright man," woo sounds defeated. "now you know. i didnt wanna keep in touch because i didnt want to make things worse."

"they're already bad, woo. you not telling me changed nothing."

ive calmed down significantly. i feel defeated but at least i know this bastard is alive.

"what about mingi?" i question. "he started this shit in the first place."

"im taking them both out," wooyoung says. "mingi's the groom. hongjoong's walking his sister down the aisle."

how convenient. two birds with one stone. now, how were we going to get out of it alive?

"WE, wooyoung," i correct him. "WE'RE taking them both out."

***

yaera

after i helped san clean up his rampage, i saw something interesting in his spare room.

i stare at the daewoo k5 in my hands, i never realized san was the kind to keep guns. with the way he lives, i guess i shouldnt be surprised. he needs it more than anything.

something dangerous popped into my mind when looking at it. the first thing i thought of was wiping santo off this earth.

wouldnt i be doing a good deed? taking that rapist, pedophile and fucking freak off this planet?

he called me again. from a different number. i never pick up unknown IDs because of him. but i picked up this time, and all i heard was him breathing harshly.

"i dont like being ignored, yaera. it hurts my heart. you dont want to know how i act when im hurt."

i wonder if yasmine found out, and thats how she ended up where she did.

i know he wasnt anywhere near her when she died, but the thought that he touched her the way he touched me...the fact that she enjoyed it. it was driving me insane. i feel myself losing it with every single thought that flashes by me.

i just want to leave. i want san to finish up his business, come out alive and free me from this place.

we decided on soroa, cuba. europe wouldnt be a good place for us to start over in. latin america would be fresh. its going to be better.

i tried to keep busy but my stomach ached for san. with every apartment i looked at, every beach and every municipality i imagined living in, i had a thought of san never seeing it. i feel so fucking helpless.

i cant fix any of this. i never could but ive never felt this cornered before now. if anything happens to him, i know im going to end up in a ward. i cant leave this place without him when he helped me get to this point.

my parents have left me so many missed calls. so have irina and claire. none from anya? thats weird. she always leaves me the most calls.

i decide to call irina back. i havent heard from them aside from drug related business so it'd be nice if she could take my mind off the fuckery thats been taking place. they always have the most interesting things to tell me. vacationing in saint tropez, partying in monaco, i'd love them to tell me about cuba.

irina picks up first ring. "hey girl–"

"you fucking bitch," she snares at me. i jolt up from the bed at her tone.

"hello?" i repeat in confusion.

"anya is DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"

fire creeps up on my skin. it feels like all my hairs raising.

"w-what?"

"she fucking mixed whatever pill you gave her and she threw up all over herself. we fucking rushed her to hospital and she didnt make it!"

this has to be why my parents called me. oh my god. oh my god anya's dead.

"i dont know what you mean," is the first thing i say. probably not the best thing but its the first thing i could get out. there has to be people around her right now. i cant risk it.

"now you dont know what im talking about?" irina snaps. "you fucking killed her."

"anya has a history of drug abuse, irina. why are you blaming me for this? im sorry for what happened but dont call me with this bullshit ever again."

i quickly put off the phone and start hyperventilating. fuck this is a mess, my parents probably found out. they probably know. if i go home im screwed. i cant go home, they'll keep me there.

how do i stay out of this. i know i cant go to jail, none of them have any proof that i dealt them drugs. not a single shred of evidence. there are the cellphone records, but those calls cant get traced back to me. the phone's too old. i need to stay away from them.

i have to fix this, somehow. i cant unload it on san he has enough on his plate. but it sounds like ive made an enemy out of the closest thing i have to friends. i dont know what to do.

i look at the gun on my lap. i have to finish the story.

***

next chapter

tagslist: @sansonlygf @brown88 @yujispinkhair @mountiiny

[sleepdeprivedvigilante]

Ok but theres TWO characters, TWO CHARACTERS, who give me the same fucking vibe.

Damian Wayne and Selwyn Kane

LISTEN- THEY ARE BOTH SELF-LOATHING BLACK HAIRED TEENAGERS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH SOMETHING "demon"OR POWERS THROUGH A SIDE OF THE FAMILY.

They both were forced into the roles of soldier/Bodyguard/Assasin/vigilante at a young age, and sure you can argue for damian that it was bound to happen or else he would have risked himself and he already raised as an assasin, same with selwyn, If he wasnt oathed to nick he would have transformed into a full demon he didnt really get a choice and he ddint want to loose his humanity.

SEE:

-Both forced into roles that no chikd should be put through, highly dangerous and/or with high manipulation and torture

-Both didn't get a choice even if they "had " to choose. Damian was already soon of the Bat and he was already raised a ninja, groomed to be heir of both. Selwyn the son of a merlin who since his birth was groomed to become the Kingsmage, who as a child got sent to live with this Family and tasked to protect A community of die/loose his humanity.

-Both have deep trauma and self-loathing.

Like, Damian feels the guilt over the deaths on his shoulders fron when he was a child assasin, thats very deep guilt, mixed with his families treatment him,(not all bad but they could do better), he has very self sacrificial tendencies seeing himself as expendable and preferring others lifes over his own (In a very concerning level of suicidal ideation).

Sel has a similar deal, he deals with a lot of pain and grief from how he treated Bree to his mother abandoning him mixed with the regents and legenborns abuse of him, that and he feeks pain and doesnt show it and he makes choices and sacrifices himself especially due to that guilt.

-Both got them mommy issues

We dont know that much about Sels mother apart from that she can resist turning and she was friends with brees mother, we have few glimpses of her but thats it. We know this, Sel feels deep grief and pain over loosing her, he also is upset that she didn't come back for him, and angry on her behalf cause he can and cant justify her actions.

we have more information about damians mom and we know she loved him and its mutual, but Damian did get dropped off at his father after years, they didnt even meet until certain age for Damian, Damian was also trained since birth and he loves his mom, he cant condone her actions, he cant justify them and it pains him because its still his mom.

-They both are Dry humoured Emotionally constipated Teenager emos.

BOTH their characters are very angsty and dramatic but have a sense of dry humour and comedy.

Like Sometimes its cruel due to being defensive and sometimes its funny saracasm or something just makes them so done. Like Sel after bree told him to say something and he did exactly that, or the jokes they have,same with damian, Like the joke about the crowbar to jason in robin 2021, there he was defensive and trying to get the rise out of someone but it was dry cruel humour, very funny and also their humour is a mix of angst and "Try me bitch" so they will say espontaneous shit thats funny or obvious sarcasm mixed with the joke of "I need therapy" Because thats their mindset (And no Damian wayne is not the feral eight year old brat that cant ever laugh that some people think he is,he is a teenager and has developed well through the comics)

-They are self aware as fuck and idiots.

They can probably go on and say the most concerning shit about their childhood like being raised as an assasin or taken as a child. Selwyn joked about trying to help bree when she needs Just a much therapy than him or even more, and then he jokes saying no one needs more therapy than him, and then theres damian talking/Thinking about his childhood and sometimes realizing how messed up it was, or how it upset him to do certain things.

-They both are dramtic as shit and speak with a fancy air.

Like holy shit (I do too but i read too much) the calling people Full names or fancy titles miced with spite, or the way they speak bejng all "Thine thou shant" dramatic, or how damian Would give a speech to jason to electrocute him dramatically or Sel just being sel edgy.

Anyways theres a lot of similarities and differences but this characters are literally same.

[separatist-apologist]

You have 3 dogs? I thought it was just 2! That is so sweet!! What breed is your third? May I ask it’s name?

Of course! His name is Whiskey (because of his coloring- it was also Mr. MBs turn to name an animal lol. The kids did a better job with Taco + Waffles and I think I was big brained when I named our cat Achilles)!

I dont know what Whiskey is. He's a true street dog. When found him living in our back alley, bone thin with melted pads from the heat + the most infected ears you've ever seen. He was actually our first dog together- I had a dog (gone, now) named Colbie but I'd had her for years.

One night Mr. MB came in at midnight and told me he'd seen a dog by the dumpsters scrounging and I told him to feed him. He left out a bowl of water and some dog food. We kept doing this until Whiskey trusted us enough he came into the backyard to get a piece of ham. Nice ham, like the sort you serve for a holiday. It wasnt hard to convince him to come inside after that, though once he was in, he didn't leave for a week, I think because he was afraid he'd never be allowed back in. He's a medium sized dog too so all that poop and pee in my kitchen was something else. Even now when we open the back door he'll dart out to do his business but he won't stay unless one of us is in the yard and then he's like a shadow.

Anyway we decided to keep him. He's not people friendly- he has a vest that says DONT PET NOT FRIENDLY (that people love to ignore because everyone thinks they're the mean dog whisperer but he'll snap at strangers and I'm always barking out a bitchy "he BITES don't TOUCH HIM" and people get so worked up because they think they have a right to touch any dog in a public space or said dog shouldn't be allowed BUT I DIGRESS) for walks which he doesn't really like but he needs for his health.

I don't know why he liked us- maybe we were the first nice humans he ever met and 5 was his threshold. He doesn't mind my sister or my best friend either. I think it's just outside people (as in people who live in the outdoors). If he had his way I don't think he'd ever leave.

He's an old man now. We probably got him between 5-7 and that was like, 6-7 years ago? So he's living out his days in peace and is a good dog, despite whatever happened before us

[spicybylerpolls]

I don't believe in foah but i do believe in crush culture, especially when it comes to famous people that have a limited dating pool due to their "status as celebs that get creepily irl stalked" (this has happened to an underaged finn and noah before - the noah one even captured on camera that can be found on tiktok during the pandemic quarantine while in the finn one he tells bill hader in an interview about being stalked by a grown man all the way to his house almost that had the audacity to shoulder checked him to get finn's attn). in a vid complitation of finn and noah friendship, it's clear that finn goes out of his way to include noah during s2 promo since will wasnt well known in s1 and there's an old article out there about the 1st time they met during st casting call.

apparently finn tells the interviewer of the article how when casting was officially done, he highlights how when he met noah again as a co-actor that noah forgot about him lol. noah didn't remember finn from the audition but finn remembered noah. finn also said that he was shocked/excited that the voice of charlie brown (noah) was here while noah couldn't recall anything finn's been in. So, to me, when reading that article it felt like finn cared about noah in the beginning as a crush of admiration like "crushing cuz i wanna be successful like this kid already". and finn expressed in another interview how he's afraid to be a washedup child star while playing in both IT and st.

so imo foah is more about the two acknowledging the other's talent, especially since they both tried out for each other's st role (finn went for mike and will same as noah). if anything I thought finn had a crush on caleb cuz multiple instances on vid where finn gushes about caleb's acting skill (when caleb did an excellent billy roleplay during a guess who that character is game and in the s2 promo vid where finn compliments caleb A LOT compared to the other actors, while caleb only complimented gaten but that could be just the netflix editing team cutting n splicing, comment did poke fun at how finn hyped up caleb and how caleb didnt mention finn at all). in one early vid finn had to get caleb to hug him cuz caleb only hugged gaten in greeting as those two met previously on broadway cuz they had a longer history. caleb was going for a handshake/dap but finn had his arms open for a hug like how gaten got one right before finn was noticed by caleb. and in the same interview where finn told how noah forgot they had met already, finn describes caleb as cool and funny from the 1st time he saw him during casting calls. But again that can just be finn being mesmerized by all the talent his peers possess since he is passionate about his craft.

Yeah, these are all valid counterpoints! It's interesting no one has ever really shipped Faleb... or Faten? (I don't know what their ship names would be). But that's maybe partially because people have always subconsciously seen them as straight while subconsciously seeing Finn "his eyes soften" Wolfhard as queer? And also because Finn does seem to be especially close with Noah compared to the others?

Hmm, I've never thought of the idea of Finn having had a crush on Caleb before, but that's an interesting concept. I do think "Foah" could possibly be more about the two acknowledging each other's talent, but who knows? Maybe it's both lol. (And nonny, now you got crush culture by conan gray stuck in my head).

[characcoon]

Crimson Leonardo. Please tell me about him. What I know is he was a superhero nerd that unknowingly inspired Raph's becoming the crimson spider. And he died at 26. Was it a super villains fault? And is Leo's death the reason Donnies relationship with Raph is so tense?

Yesn't.

The tense energy between the brain and the brawl came much earlier than Leo's downfall.

His brothers found out about Raph = Crimson when Raph was around 20 years old, after his elbow injury. Leo was still there, Splinter wasn't. Donnie imediately tried to talk Raph out if it, scared for the safety of his brother and his family, because for Donnie that was a choice. Getting superpowers doesnt mean you're obligated to be a superhero; that was Donnie's line of thought, still is.

Raph just... couldn't stop. He tried. He put the costume away, tried to live a normal not super life, but everytime something happened in front of him that needed a hero, he would get that urge, sometimes he would let it in, and swoop in to save the day. And then Raph would bask in the light of thankful people whom he saved, and that made it worth it to him.

Donnie is upset that Raph can't just step down out of that dangerous lifestyle THAT HE CHOSE for himself. He had to watch his brother continously get hurt, more and more, for something that he saw no value to.

Leo's death was a very sudden event that not even Raph's spider sense could've told him. Raph was there. Store robbery, Raph snoop around, started confronting the robbers, pulled the guy's arm holding the gun and it fired. Bullet went right though the chips shelf and hit Leo hiding behind them.

And Donnie got much more upset. Because if Raph wasnt out there playing the hero, there would be a bodega owner without his monthly savings, but he would have his brother with him.

So... yeah. They're still working it out. After Lita came in, they had to get at least on a level of mutual respect because Mikey was two seconds away from strangling both of them if they even THOUGHT of making a scene about in front of his kid.

Their most peaceful moments are, still, gardening together. Donnie loves plants, Donnie loves to infodump about plants, and Raph loves learning about things he will never use in his life.